Did They Really Post That? w/ Mari Takahashi | Reading Reddit Stories

Summary

Smosh Reads Reddit Stories: "Did They Really Post That?" w/ Mari Takahashi | Reading Reddit Stories

Date: February 7, 2026
Host: Shane Topp
Guests: Spencer Agnew, Mari Takahashi

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Episode Overview

In this classic “Am I The Asshole?”-themed episode, host Shane Topp is joined by Smosh cast regular Spencer and longtime Smosh legend Mari Takahashi. Together, the trio reads a wild collection of recent Reddit stories, providing their gut reactions, heartfelt advice, and signature comedic banter. This episode covers tales involving family drama, overstepping roommates, intense food situations, awkward social dynamics, and the pains of tabletop group drama. Mari’s nostalgic return brings an extra layer of warmth and hilarity, as the group navigates tall Reddit tales with refreshing honesty.

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Key Discussion Points & Story Highlights

1. Gift Drama: Dog Photos Instead of Cousins

[03:19 – 09:32]

Story:
A Redditor coordinated a family photo phone case for Grandpa’s birthday, repeatedly asking cousins for new photos. After multiple reminders and clear warnings (“send a pic or be replaced by my dog”), three cousins never responded. Their spots were filled with silly dog photos (dog in a sombrero, pumpkin patch, chicken costume). The non-participating cousins got mad at the final result, while Grandpa loved it.

Insights & Commentary:

• Shane and Spencer focus on the clarity of the warnings and how the Redditor gave the cousins every chance.
• Mari adds, “The dogs have a lot of variety. They're in different costumes. So there was a lot of thought put into that.” [05:42]
• General consensus: OP is not the asshole — the situation was handled fairly, and Grandpa’s enjoyment is what counts.
• Mari and Shane debate if OP really should have just used the Instagram screenshots for Grandpa’s sake, but agree the dog photos were funnier.

Memorable Moment:
Shane: “If he wanted to get petty revenge, he could have picked the worst photo off their Instagram.” [06:51]

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2. The Voracious Houseguest

[13:02 – 24:09]

Story:
A desperate acquaintance named “K” stays with a couple, promising to help around the house. Later, while house-sitting and tasked with eating any perishables, K devours literally everything in the fridge, freezer, pantry (entire Costco bottle of olive oil, jars of jam, husband’s creatine), and even ruins a ceramic pan—without offering to replace anything. The couple is divided: one wants to cut contact; the other feels that's harsh.

Insights & Commentary:

• Spencer draws a hilarious comparison: “My friend a bear. I get both sides.” [13:02]
• The group offers creative analogies, joking K is “No-Face from Spirited Away” or “a family of raccoons” for his bottomless appetite.
• Thoughtful reflection: While house-sitting, guests should use reason and not overindulge, even with open invites.
• Mari: “If he's not conscientious of this siloed thing in his life, what else is he not conscientious about?” [21:54]

Memorable Moment:
Shane: “What things can you leave there to see if he'll eat it?” [20:27], leading to ideas like filling the pantry with Vegemite and natto as an experiment.

Consensus:
Not the asshole. The group enjoyed the outlandishness but firmly supported the absent friend's boundaries.

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3. "Ew" to a Roommate's Boyfriend Photo

[24:09 – 32:07]

Story:
A strained roommate dynamic comes to a head when the OP says “Ew” in response to a photo their roommate sends—specifically of the roommate’s boyfriend. The roommate explodes, accuses OP of always being mean, and blocks them.

Insights & Commentary:

• The group recognizes classic 19-year-old roommate chaos.
• Shane: “Stop trying to prime us against this person. You did an asshole thing.” [26:46]
• Mari emphasizes that joking “Ew” is only okay if rapport is genuinely mutual—which isn’t the case here. [26:53]
• Spencer notes the pettiness and passive-aggressive cycle at play.
• General feeling: Both are exhausting, with poor communication compounding the issue.

Memorable Exchange:
Spencer: “‘Don’t wake up.’ Can’t wake up.” [30:15], riffing on the melodrama.

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4. "Passport Bro" Accusation in an International Relationship

[34:40 – 39:59]

Story:
A Canadian in a five-year relationship with his Italian boyfriend brings him to visit Canada. A supposed friend flirts with the boyfriend, gets rebuffed, and accuses OP of being a "passport bro" (suggesting he’s exploiting international romance). The friend later rallies their circle against OP.

Insights & Commentary:

• Mari succinctly defines “passport bro” as “marriage tourism.” [35:05]
• The group quickly dismisses the “passport bro” accusation; in the story, the relationship is genuine and the friend lashing out is clearly jealous.
• Spencer and Shane break down the projection and highlight Emma's bizarre accusations (white savior complex, homophobia over a yaoi joke).
• Verdict: OP is not the asshole. The group supports ditching toxic friendships and marvels at the absurdity.

Notable Quote:
Shane: “Get out of it. Get out of it. You’re in Italy!” [39:37]

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5. Being "Bad" at D&D

[40:07 – 48:53]

Story:
A D&D player keeps losing characters (six or seven deaths in two years; mostly via bad rolls or group inaction). Lately, friends grow hostile, claim he’s “wasting their time,” and he wonders if he’s to blame.

Insights & Commentary:

• Shane suspects DM malice (“I think the DM’s killing you a little bit.” [42:45]), and Mari notes it’s a shared group storytelling responsibility.
• Spencer notices possible group dysfunction.
• The truth emerges post-episode: the DM and group were targeting OP intentionally as a scapegoat, letting their character die for their own convenience.
• The group is appalled and urges OP to leave: “Bad players, bad friends.” [48:44]

Memorable Moment:
Mari: “They’re so bad at communication.” [47:47]

---

6. “Ugly” Memorial Portrait

[49:26 – 59:49]

Story:
A high schooler creates a memorial drawing of a classmate who passed away, only to have her friends angrily declare it unwelcome and mock its style. OP defends her intent, feeling excluded and insulted.

Insights & Commentary:

• Shane and Spencer note the complexity of adolescent grief and social territory.
• Mari provides empathy for teen expression: “Such a hard thing to do as a 17-year-old, to have your art mocked...” [59:16]
• While the drawing might not have been malicious, clinging to the situation in hindsight comes off self-centered.
• Key takeaway: High school memorials (and grief) are fraught, and everyone could have handled it better.

Notable Quotes:
Mari: “Judging how somebody grieves is such an interesting thing, because it's probably a projection of how we're judging ourselves of how we're grieving.” [59:49]

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7. Genetically Gifted Spice King at a Hot Pepper Eating Contest

[60:39 – 67:28]

Story:
A contestant wins a hot pepper eating contest due to an extreme genetic tolerance for spice, while friends claim this is "cheating" and suggest he shouldn’t have entered.

Insights & Commentary:

• The group delivers classic competitive sports analogies (comparing to Michael Phelps’s natural gifts).
• Mari: “There’s also a sadness of not being able to experience spice.” [62:11]
• Shane discusses both the “mutant power” and the reality of spicy challenges: “That’s kind of all you need. Just almost so many restaurants you could go to and probably get free stuff.” [66:58]
• General verdict: Not the asshole. If you have a gift, use it!

Memorable Moment:
Shane: “Congrats. You are the Michael Phelps of chicken wings.” [65:45]

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Mari Takahashi:

  • “The comfort of being around y’all never goes away.” [02:48]
  • “If he's not conscientious in this area...what else is he not conscientious about?” [21:54]

• Shane Topp:

  • “Stop trying to prime us against this person. You did an asshole thing.” [26:46]
  • “They're so bad at D&D that they needed someone to be a punching bag.” [47:47]

• Spencer:

  • On D&D: “You can’t do anything with that close of a group of people for that long. There’s always inevitably gonna be drama.” [44:21]
  • On competitions: “Him having like the mutant power of not being able to, like, taste, that’s…” [62:02]

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Episode Flow and Tone

The episode balances hilarious group chemistry with occasional heartfelt reflection, never shying from poking fun at themselves and the stories’ absurdities. Mari adds nostalgic flair and thoughtfulness to the chaos, while Spencer and Shane keep the pace lively with sharp wit and goofy hypotheticals. The team delivers a mixture of laugh-out-loud moments, sharp advice, and empathetic analysis of human behavior.

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Timestamps & Key Segments

• [01:31] – Episode Introduction with Mari
• [03:19] – Story 1: The Phone Case Dog Swap
• [13:02] – Story 2: Houseguest Eats Everything
• [24:09] – Story 3: “Ew” at Roommate’s Boyfriend
• [34:40] – Story 4: “Passport Bro” Drama
• [40:07] – Story 5: D&D Group Scapegoating
• [49:26] – Story 6: The “Ugly” Memorial Drawing
• [60:39] – Story 7: The Spice-Proof Contestant

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Takeaways

• Clear communication and boundaries are central themes, with most drama arising from poor communication, ignored warnings, or mismatched expectations.
• Empathy for all sides: Even in the wildest stories, the group tries to glimpse the humanity and pain behind the posts, from teens dealing with grief to adults navigating friendship.
• Humor as a coping mechanism: Whether the problem is a selfish roommate, a failed group project, or capsaicin invulnerability, the Smosh crew’s hilarious riffing makes every story lighter—and more relatable.

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Final Thoughts

A quintessential Smosh Reads Reddit Stories episode: smart, playful, occasionally spicy (literally), and always deeply human. Mari’s return provides a nostalgic throughline, while Shane and Spencer keep the laughs rolling and the advice real. If wild family drama, food fails, or tabletop betrayal are your thing, this one’s a must-listen.

Transcript

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[Spencer]

$25 at weightwatchers.com hello and welcome to.

[Shane]

Smosh Reads Reddit Stories. I'm Shane and today's episode is a classic Am I the Asshole episode. And I'm joined by two good friends. I'm joined by Spencer and a Smosh legend, Mari Takahashi is here. Hi. Full name, the OG host of this channel.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

Well, yeah, I guess it was holding down the fort, not knowing what I was.

[Shane]

But doing it all. Editing everything. Right. You're doing the whole shebang.

[Mari Takahashi]

It's one of those you just throw yourself into something and then you never know.

[Spencer]

Yeah. No, we were looking at a cause.

[Shane]

I know.

[Spencer]

Social team wanted to do something with you that was like a throwback. And we were looking at all the old titles.

[Mari Takahashi]

Don't look at them.

[Spencer]

Anytime you're in anything, they're like Asian lunch. It's just Mari does anything like Asian blank.

[Shane]

Like that was like. That was the.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah, that was the time. And also not wrong either.

[Spencer]

It's like technically it's like Asian Reddit stories.

[Mari Takahashi]

That is the description of what's happening.

[Spencer]

Have we done one of those yet.

[Shane]

Write that down.

[Spencer]

Asian Reddit space.

[Shane]

Oh, my God.

[Mari Takahashi]

It's 2010 all over again. Yeah.

[Shane]

Yeah. Well, we're happy to have you back.

[Mari Takahashi]

Thanks for having me. It's fun because it just feels like you're plopped back and you don't know what year it is, but I don't know. The comfort of being around y' all never goes away.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Spencer]

Agreed.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Well, are you ready to read some stories? Are you ready?

[Spencer]

You have to read them.

[Shane]

No, you have to read. I'm taking a break. No, I'm just kidding.

[Spencer]

One of these days, Shane, like, drops the iPad and it's just blank. It's been blank on there the whole time.

[Shane]

He's just like, all about. That would be awesome.

[Mari Takahashi]

That would be amazing.

[Shane]

Really cool. Our first one is an Am I the asshole? Posted October of 2025. Am I the asshole for replacing pictures of my cousins with pictures of my dog?

[Spencer]

We'll have to find out more.

[Mari Takahashi]

Contact needed.

[Shane]

My grandpa's birthday was a couple weeks ago, six weeks before his birthday. I texted all of my siblings and cousins. There's nine of us. And told them to send me a picture of themselves within the next four weeks so I could put it on a phone case for our grandpa's birthday. Two weeks later, I sent the text again saying I needed a picture of them and anybody that chooses not to send a picture will be replaced by a picture of my dog. I had three cousins tell me to screenshot something from their Instagrams. I didn't respond. I sent a text out the day before. I put in the order saying anybody that did not send a picture of themselves in the next 24 hours would be replaced by pictures of my dog. This is your second warning. Second warning. The same three cousins never sent pictures. Their spots have my dog in a sombrero, my dog at the pumpkin patch, and my dog in a chicken costume. They came over for my grandpa's birthday and saw him open his new phone case. They saw that their pictures weren't on the case and got mad at me for not picking something off their Instagrams like they told me to. I said that I sent three reminders to send me a picture with a clear warning that anybody that did not send a picture would be replaced with a picture of the dog. The they knew exactly what would happen. My grandpa finds it hilarious, but their parents. Oh, thank God. But their parents are telling my parents that I kept them off the phone case on purpose and they want me to apologize. Am I the asshole for replacing Them with pictures of my dog because they never sent me a picture.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Woo.

[Mari Takahashi]

What a ride.

[Shane]

What a ride.

[Spencer]

What can be said?

[Shane]

No, not much can be said.

[Mari Takahashi]

I mean, I would say to take the time to explain so much of what happened over a phone case valid in being upset about it. That person's going through something, you know, where it's just like they kind of thought.

[Spencer]

I think they thought they had the best gift of all time. Like they were like, this is gonna make grandpa's laugh.

[Mari Takahashi]

Grandpa loved it.

[Spencer]

Grandpa did love it.

[Shane]

Grandpa loves it.

[Spencer]

Grandpa also thought it was hilarious that three of the cousins were replaced by dogs.

[Shane]

Yeah, that's kind of amazing.

[Spencer]

Yeah.

[Shane]

And those photos of the dogs, probably better than any of the photos of the cousins.

[Spencer]

It's like, bro, just Google and throw those images on there.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

With that said, the dogs have a lot of variety. They're in different costumes. So there was a lot of thought put into that.

[Shane]

I agree. At least. Yeah, absolutely. I was gonna say this reminds me though. Cause this type of behavior, I fully understand it. Cause I feel like family group chats.

[Spencer]

Oh, it is much a thing where.

[Shane]

People just ignore it. You just like, everyone has their family group chat on. Do not disturb.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yes.

[Spencer]

Oh, no. When? I mean, I mean. No, I was gonna say. No, what I was gonna say is this reminds me of getting memes for who memed it or guesses for Shane. Guesses where it's like you have to text everyone a million times and be like, hey, I need you to submit this. And it's like, ah, I can't. There's just no response.

[Shane]

There's something funny about when something is so easy. You keep pushing it off and it's the thing you don't get done. Whereas if he was like, hey, I need all of us to knit a sweater for Grandpa. There's almost like an argument to be made of. Like, that might be easier to get people to do because it's a bigger undertaking. So it's like, oh, we're gonna take it seriously. But it's a photo, so it's like, I'll send a photo at some point or just look at my Instagram or something.

[Spencer]

Do we think OP should have screenshotted their Instagram pictures?

[Shane]

No, this was way funnier.

[Spencer]

Okay, that's fair.

[Shane]

And grandpa appreciated it. If he wanted to get petty revenge, he could have picked the worst photo off their Instagram.

[Mari Takahashi]

True.

[Shane]

Just something bad. Or like an environmental shot that one of them took on their Instagram. I'm not even in the photo. It's like, it's from your Instagram account.

[Spencer]

Like a screen. Like, or like their follow count or something like that. Like, ooh, which cousin has the least followers?

[Mari Takahashi]

I will say if OP was really thinking about Grandpa, though, probably would have made the move to screenshot the Instagram.

[Spencer]

Yeah. It's like, do you even care about Grandpa? What would Grandpa do?

[Shane]

I get that. What would Grandpa want, right? But Grandpa really enjoyed this.

[Mari Takahashi]

He enjoyed the dogs.

[Spencer]

So you call it op. Do you say Jiff?

[Shane]

Say op.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah, op.

[Shane]

Actually, I like OP as if he hates his grandpa. Like, he's like, oh, my op. I'm the op. Yeah.

[Spencer]

So actually, that was a trick. I knew you said Jif. Yeah, I know that. That's something I know about you is you say Jif. Okay, okay.

[Mari Takahashi]

That's something that you've clocked about me that you remember that. I don't want that to be like, on my permanent rap sheet that you.

[Shane]

Remember me about says Jif.

[Spencer]

Here, my phone is Mari Jif Takahashi.

[Shane]

Jiff. Brutal. That sucks, dude.

[Mari Takahashi]

Take that chat clip that.

[Shane]

The verdict is not the asshole comments. Grandpa liked it. That's all that matters. Not the asshole. Whatever. Grandpa liked it. Someone said, not the asshole. You gave them plenty of warning and told them exactly what would happen if they didn't send. And yeah, you could have screenshot something on their socials, but they didn't want to make any effort, so they didn't need to be on the gift. Someone tagged the subreddit. Malicious compliance. Someone also said, also, let's be real. They probably would complain if OP picked the wrong pic of them off their social media. There's no winning with these types of people.

[Spencer]

Who would have been the funniest person to jump in on the thread? Like, would it be Grandpa or one of the cousins? Or like, grandpa. I'm thinking Grandpa jumping in the thread.

[Shane]

Being like, I loved it.

[Mari Takahashi]

I think Grandpa worrying, the chat being like, was this the time you guys went to the pumpkin patch? You look great. And it's like, grandpa, that's a dog.

[Shane]

You look good here. It's a dog, Grandpa. Mmm, I don't think so, snookum. I don't think so. Not the asshole. You could have easily just left every human off and put photos of your dog, and it'd be okay because it's your gift, not theirs. And then we have a note here from our producers. Unfortunately, we don't have pictures of the phone case or dog, because according to OP in the comments, I mean this in the nicest way possible, but I have a pretty weird looking dog, so I think pictures of him would be identifiable.

[Spencer]

Oh, I thought it was gonna be I have an ugly family is what he's gonna say for sure.

[Shane]

Yeah, my dog's awesome. My family ugly.

[Spencer]

Yeah, the cousins who did submit, not the ones I wanted.

[Shane]

That's why Grandpa was stoked. He's like, oh great, your dog and not our ugly. My ugly. Not ugly. That's Bob Ogre. My ugly ugly children. My little, my little ugly children.

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[Mari Takahashi]

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[Shane]

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[Spencer]

I get both sides.

[Shane]

My friend Yogi Bear, Goldilocks, my husband and I live abroad. Earlier this year, a mutual acquaintance, let's call him K, reached out saying he'd been scammed with an apartment rental and had nowhere to stay. At first we only offered a weekend, but he was polite, helped around the house and seemed grateful. So we ended up letting him stay the full 20 days he asked for. During that time, some things rubbed us the wrong way. He never bought groceries and multiple times he pretended he was going to pay but forgot his wallet or claimed he could only use Apple. Pay not accepted at our local supermarket. He'd eat way more than his share with. Once my husband and I shared half a pizza and he ate the other pizza and a half. Nice without contributing. Still, we felt bad for him. We felt bad for him. So we let it go. We stayed friendly and a few months later we were planning a 17 day trip. Since he was struggling with rent, we offered him to stay at our place in exchange for taking care of our dog. I even wrote a Google Doc with instructions for the house dog care eat the dog. I even wrote a Google I even. I even wrote a Google Doc with instructions for the house, dog care, gym, access, et cetera. I told him he could eat anything that was going to expire. Fruit, veggies, yogurt, et cetera. When we came back, everything was gone. And I mean everything. The entire fridge, freezer, pantry. He finished two jars of jam, bro. The whole can of who has. Holy. He finished two jars of jam a Jar of peanut butter, a giant Costco bottle of olive oil, condiments, rice, snacks, cheese. Even my husband's supplements, creatine. He was like, oh, I'm so hungry. He's buff as fuck. Yeah, you had all those steroids in the closet? I did them all. He completely destroyed a ceramic pan. And he consumed things that usually last us six months in just two weeks. I honestly suspect he might have taken stuff with him, because it's insane. How much was he get to go back? I didn't confront him, except to ask him to replace the pan, which he mocked me about. It's just a pan. Why are you making it a big deal? Uh.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Oh.

[Shane]

I felt deeply disrespected. Now he keeps texting me, acting like nothing happened, and wants to hang out.

[Mari Takahashi]

I told him, what.

[Shane]

You guys want to get dinner tonight?

[Spencer]

Your place?

[Shane]

Hey, you guys cooking something? I said, he floats to their. It smells so good. He's gonna bust some, like, cranberries. I told my husband I don't want him in our home ever again. My husband says I'm being too harsh, and if he wants to stay friends, that's his choice. But I feel completely taken advantage of and disrespected. So am I the asshole for not wanting to see this guy ever again and refusing to let him come back to our house? What's this? No Face from Spirited Away. This is like, oh, my God.

[Mari Takahashi]

I really want the other side. I want the friends.

[Spencer]

The other side's just, ugh, so hungry.

[Shane]

I could eat a thing. The other side is a family of raccoons. The only things that remind me of this is stories where wild animals eat a ton of shit. I one time was staying at an Airbnb, and there was a mini fridge on the outside, like, on the back porch that you could use. And there was kind of a little latch. White people shit. And we had like. And we had, like, a full carton of eggs, some milk, all this, like, a whole bag of cheese. And in the night, like, some raccoons got into it. And I'm talking. The whole carton was empty. The whole bag of cheese, shredded cheese was empty. All this stuff. And I'm like, somewhere there's a raccoon that just.

[Mari Takahashi]

That's so cute.

[Shane]

A balloon of raccoon. Just like, ah. But it also reminds me of Cocaine Bear, the real story about a bear who got into a bunch of cocaine and ate it all.

[Mari Takahashi]

There was a movie, right?

[Shane]

They made a movie, a fictionalized Elizabeth Banks, but in real life, the bear just had A good time and passed out. But in the movie, he killed.

[Spencer]

I did see people died. No. I did see a video recently of people unloading groceries and a bear comes up and they have no choice but to surrender their groceries.

[Shane]

Oh, you surrender your groceries to the bear?

[Spencer]

Yeah.

[Shane]

And it's just. And he knows it.

[Spencer]

Bear's getting into people food.

[Mari Takahashi]

Bear's like, oh, I'm on my wallet.

[Shane]

Oh, you gotta have an apple pay.

[Spencer]

Then you ruined my pan.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Mari Takahashi]

It's just a pan, bro.

[Shane]

Okay, back to the story. The verdict is not the asshole. And I think that's completely fair to this guy. I very much have the vibe of when we have guests, or if you have someone who's cat sitting or dog sitting or whatever, I'm like, yeah, like take like, help yourself to everything. Everything I do. That's my vibe.

[Mari Takahashi]

But no one's ever actually the implication.

[Spencer]

Is that like, within reason.

[Shane]

Within reason, yes, of course. Like if I'm staying at someone's place or I'm cat sitting for someone or dog sitting and they say that I'm like, I'm gonna still be reasonable. I'm gonna know, like, oh, if they're.

[Spencer]

Still thinking about fruit gushers, I might have a thing.

[Shane]

I might have a fruitcusher. Yeah, absolutely.

[Spencer]

But so my thoughts. I'm gonna play devil's advocate.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Spencer]

If he's a hungry boy. Yeah. Have you ever been so hungry? If you are truly. So it was 17 days.

[Shane]

17 days.

[Spencer]

If you were in a house for 17 days, think of your apartment. I mean, maybe not specifically yours, but I think I could go through most of the food in my apartment, if not all of it in 17 days.

[Mari Takahashi]

If you're not buying anything, if you're not buying anything.

[Spencer]

If you're not getting doordash or anything like that.

[Mari Takahashi]

Just dry scooping creatine.

[Spencer]

Yeah. If I'm. If I'm eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich a day, let's say I'm eating two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches a day.

[Shane]

Like two jars of jam and a jar of peanut butter.

[Spencer]

That's not that crazy. But the thing is with most food at home, like, I feel like it's kind of the cycle of like, well, I'm kind of tired of this. Let me buy some more. But if you're committing to those foods, I think you're finishing them.

[Mari Takahashi]

There is a giant Costco bottle of olive oil.

[Spencer]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Maybe it's cooking a lot. There's a lot. There's a. But a giant Costco sized olive oil.

[Spencer]

Guess this, like Olive oil.

[Shane]

I love olive oil. I'd be using it all the time. That's a lot to get through in 17 days.

[Mari Takahashi]

He had to get his essential fats every day.

[Spencer]

Yeah.

[Shane]

My God, he was like the drain. So hungry.

[Spencer]

You don't like pouring olive oil down the drain.

[Shane]

Yeah, we love doing that. What's it called? Is it a fatberg? That's like, when it's like a bunch of fat and tissue papers, it coagulates. Coagulates. And it clogs up the drain. Yeah, that's what he's making. He's doing experiments.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah. He's a man of science.

[Spencer]

He's like, I made a. So I made a volcano out of papier mache.

[Shane]

Holy crap. See, I almost. This has me almost fascinated. Where the next time they go on a 17 day trip, it's like, hey, leave only lean chicken, broccoli, rice. Come back. He's now a bodybuilder.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Spencer]

It's like, now you can do experiments on him. It's like whatever you leave in the house, he will eat.

[Shane]

He will eat. Like what things can you leave there to see if he'll eat it? Like, what? I just.

[Spencer]

Dude, performing experiments on your friend is like the funniest phrase ever. It's like, well, I've been performing experiments on you.

[Shane]

We wanted to see what you would eat.

[Spencer]

We wanted to see what you would do.

[Shane]

You would eat anything.

[Spencer]

Have you guys ever had a friend where it's like you go out to a restaurant together and no matter what's left over, they'll just be like, oh, let me finish that.

[Shane]

Oh, yeah.

[Spencer]

Even if it's like the. Yeah, it's awesome. Yeah. It's sick.

[Shane]

In many ways. It's such a great friend to have someone who will like take leftovers or whatever. I mean, he's kinda like, we have a Luke.

[Spencer]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Yeah. We don't waste food here at smosh because Luke takes it home.

[Spencer]

Yeah.

[Shane]

I hope he's cool with us saying that. But like, it's fantastic.

[Spencer]

Oh, it does. Yeah. We have. Yeah, we have a great guy who takes it home.

[Shane]

It's a great system.

[Spencer]

Yeah.

[Shane]

No, they should leave a bunch of Vegemite. Oh, the next time they leave, they should have their normal food. But then like 10 jars of Vegemite and see if he goes through all of that.

[Mari Takahashi]

I feel like it's an acquired taste. Give him 17 days.

[Shane]

Give him the most acquired tastes around the world. Yes. Segemite, natto.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yes.

[Shane]

Like what?

[Spencer]

From durian?

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Shane]

What's the fish? The Fermented fish.

[Spencer]

But he'll acquire it. He'll acquire the taste.

[Shane]

I want to see what he'll eat. Yeah. Experiments for me, reading a hypothetical story. This surpasses now where I'm mad into being like, fascinated.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yes.

[Shane]

And it's also hilarious.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yes.

[Shane]

But yes, disrespectful. He is not being conscientious.

[Spencer]

Yeah. The pan ruining.

[Mari Takahashi]

If he's not conscientious of this siloed thing in his life, what else is he not conscientious about? Space. Oh, man. Like taking up space with this.

[Spencer]

This stuff sitting like this. The whole episode like this.

[Shane]

Yeah, it's.

[Mari Takahashi]

And like, clearly her legs are touching and you're like, that's not bothering you. And then you do this.

[Shane]

And then you're like, someone does that rough.

[Mari Takahashi]

When there's the touchy in there. And sometimes I'm just like, have you.

[Spencer]

Guys ever seen when people have like their hair over the back of like.

[Shane]

The of the plane Old move or.

[Spencer]

Like their feet up in between the thing? I'd be like, I'm tickling those.

[Mari Takahashi]

Oh, with no socks on.

[Spencer]

Yeah. Oh, just dogs out. Yeah. I'm like, it's a liability.

[Mari Takahashi]

See, if this person was also that person, I'd be mad at this person.

[Shane]

I think they very likely could be. They seem like that they're not thinking about other people now.

[Mari Takahashi]

I'm not curious.

[Shane]

I know he's absolutely the asshole when they brought up the pan. He's like, it's just a pan. It's like, yeah, you ruined it. You gotta pay for it. All right, comments. He didn't consume it all in that time. He emptied your place and took it back to his to last him a while. He stole from you like he was on a shopping spree. That is the most likely scenario. It's a laugh forager. I'm laughing at the idea of him eating it all. That's funny and awesome.

[Spencer]

Okay, Shaggy.

[Shane]

Him stealing it. Him stealing it sucks. Someone said. I know, right? What was he otherwise doing drinking a cup of olive oil mixed with some creatine for breakfast every morning? Someone said, not the asshole.

[Spencer]

Hey, that sounds like something like a fitness bro would do.

[Shane]

Yeah. Someone said, not the asshole. This person is not your friend. And your husband needs to rethink anyone who mocks his wife over something that person destroyed. This friend has little to no respect for either of you. If your husband wants to lessen himself by continuing this one sided friendship with this guy, it's on him. However, you do not let anyone who treated your home the way he did. Back in again. You can decide if you'll reconsider if this guy apologizes, but he's not allowed to be in your home alone again. Home alone Op said. I think it's because we live outside our home country and it's not that easy for him to make friends here. I feel like he's being overly patient because he's very lonely. Still, I do realize this is something I need to talk to him about. I just needed a bit of validation. But I do plan to have a conversation with him on different terms because a real friend doesn't do this kind of things.

[Mari Takahashi]

Stop befriending raccoons.

[Shane]

Yeah, you know, stop befriending forest critters. Anyways, all right, moving on. Our next story comes from Am I the asshole? Comes from October 2025Am I the asshole for saying EW to a picture of my roommate's boyfriend? It's just like Home Alone that's WOOF on a burner account, so hopefully they won't find this I, a 19 year old girl, have been living with my roommate who's 19, since February of last year and ever since we have moved in together our relationship has been total chaos. She has a Great Dane that doesn't have enough space in our apartment. She doesn't care about the cleanliness of the hardwood floors nor being very hospitable towards guests. She is temperamental and gets upset over what seems like nothing and I can't get through to her why my friends and I don't want to spend time with her despite her wanting to be the center of attention constantly. She tends to get upset whenever she cannot be in control of a situation. Whether I have places I wanted to go and she tags along yet insists on going where she wants to until I cave or gets really mad and starts complaining despite the fact that she tagged along with me, not the other way around. She used to be rude to my friends but has been better with that, but since that happened my friends would rather not spend time with her since she tends to be very selfish and we don't have much in common. She expects me to talk to her when she is sad all the time but doesn't care about anything I do as well. Anyway, the other night Anyway, she's a stupid dumb idiot. Anyway, the other night she exploded on me because after sending a picture of her boyfriend I responded ew because I thought it was funny. I had my friends over earlier that day so I'm concerned that may not have helped, especially since she wanted to go out with us, but we said no. She got upset. She got upset and said, I'm constantly mean to her and she regrets ever meeting me. I would normally brush that off, but then when I said I would be going to bed, she said, don't wake up. And I felt that seriously cross the line. She blocked me and won't speak to me. Now am I the asshole? Wow.

[Spencer]

Many layers.

[Mari Takahashi]

Oh, to be 19 again.

[Shane]

Many layers, and I'm gonna eat all of them. Oh.

[Spencer]

Talking shit about this roommate for, like, 10 minutes and then being like. And then I said, like, I won't.

[Mari Takahashi]

Hang out with you.

[Shane]

I'm like, stop trying to prime us against this person. Like, you did an asshole thing. You're like, I don't care how much you hate her. She sent a picture of her boyfriend. You say, ew.

[Spencer]

I mean, that is pretty funny.

[Shane]

It's funny.

[Spencer]

I mean, like, I guess also, like.

[Shane]

You'Re not on that rapport.

[Spencer]

Yes, that's what I was thinking.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yes.

[Shane]

That's a fully fine response from a lot of people. If, like, you get the joke.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yes.

[Shane]

She knew, like, oh, yeah, this person who I hate. But we got this report.

[Spencer]

Was it, like, boyfriend. Is this the boyfriend reveal?

[Shane]

Reveal.

[Spencer]

That's crazy.

[Shane]

If it's boyfriend reveal, that's rough. Also, though, you know what I'm thinking about is, is, oh, you guys are going out tonight. Can I join? No, I don't think so.

[Spencer]

How do you say no?

[Shane]

That's a tough spot to be in. And it's why. When people are like, if I'm ever, like, in a situation, I feel like it happens here where, like, people are like, oh, yeah, we're doing this thing tonight. I'm not gonna, like, ask if I can join. I'll be like, they'll. People walk. You wait for the. Yeah, I wait for an invitation, but I'm not gonna, like, be like, can I come? Cause what do people say to that?

[Spencer]

Well, you kind of have to say yes.

[Shane]

You have to say yes.

[Spencer]

Unless it's like, oh, we have a reservation for five.

[Shane]

But I also.

[Spencer]

Yeah. And even then, it's just like, oh, we'll try. We'll call and try to make it for six. Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

Why does that. You just feel so vulnerable, like you're in third grade being like, can I come?

[Spencer]

I think I know.

[Shane]

I understand. Even if it's like, a couple good friends of mine and we're a group. But I'm like. I get, like, certain. Like, there's certain situations, certain dynamics. Maybe people want to Talk about something. I don't know. It doesn't bother me. I don't think about it. But man, to ask to join, to go out and be told no. Ooh, and you're 19, you had that layer. Oh, God.

[Spencer]

The van's pretty full.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Sorry. The Hyundai can't fit anymore. Oh, my God. Yeah, but I think it's like you're 19.

[Spencer]

It's like if you're in college, you're probably walking some.

[Shane]

I don't know, Like, I'm like, there's, it's. There's not a good situation. But I'm like, based on everything they wrote, I'm like, you're probably the asshole.

[Spencer]

I wanna know more about the brand.

[Shane]

I think they're probably both just assholes to each other. It sounds like having a great match.

[Spencer]

In an apartment though, that's pretty crazy.

[Shane]

Great Danes, I thought, can actually manage pretty well in small apartments. Cause they're pretty lazy.

[Spencer]

I just mean size wise. Oh, size.

[Shane]

They're huge.

[Spencer]

I'm like, that's a horse.

[Shane]

Yeah, it is a full horse.

[Spencer]

Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

But we also don't know, like, did they already have the dog and then this is just something that they're annoyed with or was it brought in after? You know, it just seems like there's so many layers that they're already not liking about this person.

[Spencer]

Yeah. Like the circumstances of the move in.

[Shane]

Roommate situations are messier than anything else.

[Spencer]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Verdict was asshole. Comments?

[Spencer]

Comments? Ew.

[Shane]

Yes, Comments. Why did you include the first two paragraphs? They have nothing. Yeah, valid, straight up. They have nothing to do with the conflict at hand. All it's doing is creating the narrative you want to push forward for the actual question at hand. Are you the asshole for saying EW at a picture of her boyfriend because you thought it was funny? Yes. Yes, you are. It was uncalled for and frankly, mean. Someone said. Someone said you're the asshole. Yeah, it's mean. You're the asshole. She sounds unpleasant to be around, but in that specific interaction, you were being an asshole. Someone said, everyone sucks here. Not gonna lie. You both sound exhausting. Responding EW to someone's boyfriend photo is immature and rude and you are clearly trying to paint your roommate in a negative light. Your roommate has controlling tendencies and blocking and silent treatment as conflict resolution. You both suck.

[Spencer]

Get paid.

[Shane]

Don't wake up.

[Spencer]

Can't wake up.

[Shane]

Look at my boyfriend.

[Spencer]

Ew.

[Shane]

Kill yourself.

[Spencer]

Don't wake up. Don't wake up. In such a childish, like, oh my God. Like, oh, it's a Child, a war.

[Shane]

Is going on in this apartment. Oh, man.

[Mari Takahashi]

The poor Great Dane. Get the Great Dane.

[Shane]

I know that Great Dane's character just going like. He's like, I raked the whole kitchen. I drank all the olive oil. Come on, school. I'm now going back to the previous story. Imagine that guy making a sandwich out of everything in the house and unhinging his jaw and eating it.

[Spencer]

If bro's making Shaggy sandwiches every night, he has to.

[Shane]

All the ingredients for a Shaggy sandwich.

[Spencer]

A quart of olive oil. I'm saying you probably are. If you're making a Shaggy sandwich, realistically, you're gonna want copious amounts of olive oil.

[Shane]

Or, like, oh, it's gonna need it.

[Spencer]

Like oil, vinegar. Cause it's kind of like Italian. I know. He always uses salami. Shaggy's always uses salami on a sandwich.

[Shane]

Oh, Shaggy sandwich is Eldritch in nature.

[Spencer]

Yeah, it's unknowable. But he's probably not using. Like, to me, a jam would not be on a Shaggy sandwich.

[Mari Takahashi]

I disagree. There might be. There might be a little corner of it.

[Shane]

You could add some jam to the sandwich. You know, if you got some turkey in there.

[Spencer]

Yeah, it's like a cranberry. Like, in a cranberry. We don't know what's a seasonal Shaggy sauce.

[Shane]

We would move on.

[Spencer]

That's what the ghosts want us to do.

[Shane]

We're not usually like this.

[Mari Takahashi]

You're trying to convince me.

[Shane]

We're usually more professional. Yeah. Okay.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

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[Shane]

Today's episode of Reddit Stories is also sponsored by Zocdoc. I used to make a lot of excuses when it came to booking doctor's appointments. Oh, I work all day. Oh, I'll do it next week. Oh, I'm just too sleepy. I don't have time to book my dermatologist. Well, that's not the case anymore. With Zocdoc, you can book anytime, anywhere. So when you find yourself worried about a symptom, you can just log in and book your appointment with ZocDoc. ZocDoc is a free app and website that helps you find and book high quality in network doctors so you can find someone you love. I know there have been times where I've been so under the weather I could barely get out of bed. And thanks to Zocdoc, I can find a doctor that does video visits rather than in person so I can talk to a doctor without getting my sick ass out of bed. And there are so many ways to filter to find the right doctor. I specifically filter for doctors who are in network by location, and I look at verified patient reviews. Pretty much everything is on this app. Anything that you're worried about, any symptom you want to look for, any type of doctor you're looking for, you're going to find it there. I mean, I certainly did and I found appointments super fast. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to zocdoc.com PittReddit to find and instantly book a doctor you love today. That's Zocdoc.com PitReddit Zocdoc.com PittReddit Thanks, Zocdoc, for sponsoring this message. Back to the show. Mm, nectarines are so good. Next story comes from Am I the asshole? Comes from October of 2025. Am I the asshole for crashing out? Because my friend called me a passport bro.

[Spencer]

Ooh, ooh, ooh.

[Shane]

Brutal.

[Spencer]

Curious about this one.

[Mari Takahashi]

I think I know what this is.

[Shane]

Have you ever heard of a passport bro?

[Mari Takahashi]

I think so.

[Shane]

What do you think it is?

[Mari Takahashi]

Is this somebody who travels to other countries and sleeps with people?

[Shane]

I think it's, yeah, they're going to another country to try to find a wife in that.

[Mari Takahashi]

Oh, a wife, specifically.

[Spencer]

Okay, that's kind of my understanding is like, yeah, this is someone who's traveling to like, kind of.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah, marriage tourism. Gotcha.

[Shane]

Okay, so it's not a good thing to be called.

[Mari Takahashi]

And this guy's crashing out.

[Shane]

And he's crashing out. I'm male, 26, I've been with my boyfriend Luca for five years. Basically, we met when I went to Italy for a photography project and we clicked really fast. I'm fluent in Italian. I've been learning since I was 10, and he is 100% Italian as well. Two years ago, I moved in with him in Italy. A week ago, we visited Canada, where I'm from, and stayed at my friend Emma's house. She was basically all over Luca and flirting with him and everything. Luca told me he was uncomfortable and I told her to stop. And then she started fucking swearing at me, saying shit like I was creepy for going for Italian men. Luca is legit the only Italian man I know. Then she called me a passport bro. And then she was like, you're fucking creepy because he has a more feminine and younger face. So basically you're attracted to younger Italian men. The jumps this girl jumped. Luca and I are the same age. And she was like, you're not teaching him English so he can be clueless and you can feed your white savior complex. And at that point, I fucking crashed out and said some not nice things and told her she should lay off on the Omega verse yaoi she's reading. Which was kind of out of left field for me to say, I admit, but I was mad. Now she's mad and got our mutual friends to gang up on me and Luca, saying I should apologize, but also set boundaries with her. Am I the asshole?

[Spencer]

Okay, so you have to save these Italians.

[Mari Takahashi]

This one's got a lot of.

[Shane]

So it's sounding like this is a.

[Mari Takahashi]

Shaggy sandwich in itself.

[Spencer]

This is a shaggy sandwich of a story.

[Shane]

Yeah, he's not sounding like a passport, bro. He was in Italy, he met someone, then they clicked, and they've been dating for five years. He didn't go to Italy with the intention of this meeting someone. Yeah, absolutely. It doesn't sound like he's taking advantage of this person whatsoever. They're both the same age.

[Spencer]

From the facts presented, OP is like, has not displayed passport, bro. He could be omitting things.

[Shane]

No, what it's sounding like is that his friend Emma is just kind of weird.

[Spencer]

She wants to fuck Luca.

[Shane]

She was all over Luca. Luca got uncomfortable, said, hey, can you say something? I'm uncomfortable with how she's acting. The second he drew a boundary, she lost her mind and is trying to guilt him for it. So that's what's going on here. Verdict. Not the asshole. Someone said not the asshole. She was the asshole the moment she started flirting with your boyfriend. Then it sounds like she was projecting. She's probably jealous because your boyfriend sounds pretty cool and even trying to play fair for your sake, forget about her. She's not a friend. That went pretty well. Yeah. Don't wake up.

[Mari Takahashi]

Don't wake up.

[Shane]

Someone said, not the asshole. Just. What? How does she act like that and think she's in the right? And the fact that your mutual friends are ganging up on you either means this isn't the full story or your friend group has severe brain damage.

[Spencer]

It's all that Omegaverse yaoi.

[Shane]

That's what Omegaverse yaoi does to you.

[Spencer]

Do you know what the Omegaverse is?

[Mari Takahashi]

No.

[Spencer]

It's like some people are alphas and they are made to breed specifically the omegas. Right. And the betas are kind of separate from it. I'm not doing a good job explaining it, but it's like it's this whole. That's the omegaverse.

[Mari Takahashi]

So megas are the breedable ones?

[Spencer]

Yes.

[Mari Takahashi]

So then it's an omega verse yaoi. Cause. Okay, yeah.

[Spencer]

But I think that would just mean it's all gay.

[Mari Takahashi]

Oh, yo, I'm learning so much.

[Shane]

Wow. Omegaverse yaoi. Reddit stories would do numbers. Op responded to that comment saying she only told them about my yaoi Omegaverse comment and they genuinely won't listen to my side of the story. They're calling me an internalized homophobe. Someone responded to that saying, time for you to ditch them, I guess. Boy, you literally have a boyfriend. How the fuck are you homophobic when you're in a gay relationship? She's probably just super jealous because you have a hot boyfriend and she does not. What does she even think? She's flirting with a man in a gay relationship and it doesn't occur to her that he's most likely not interested in her? What was her goal here? All of this doesn't make sense. There were additional comments bringing up you can be homophobic if you bash Yowie. But OP wasn't doing that. Really? Just making a dig at Emma, which he regrets. But yeah. She just sounds jealous.

[Spencer]

No pulling the homophobia card.

[Shane]

Just like, you know, like Yugi.

[Spencer]

Yeah, like yaoi.

[Shane]

No. That's exhausting. That's unfortunately very exhausting.

[Mari Takahashi]

Very exhausting. Exhausting. But hey, get out of it.

[Shane]

Get out of it.

[Mari Takahashi]

Get out of it.

[Shane]

You're in Italy. Someone said, not the asshole. You need to take that girl to Italy and find her another boy because she is clearly jealous of what she doesn't have. Someone said Italian here. Please do not bring her here. We don't want her. Okay. But bringing her to Italy with the express purpose of finding a boyfriend makes her a passport, bro.

[Mari Takahashi]

A passport bro. Yep.

[Shane]

So our next story comes from Am I the asshole? October of 2025.

[Spencer]

Pretty. These are active recent assholes.

[Shane]

Yeah. Am I the asshole for being bad at D and D? Probably.

[Mari Takahashi]

Okay, skill issue maybe, right?

[Spencer]

Maybe.

[Mari Takahashi]

I'm already prejudging here using a throwaway.

[Shane]

Account because my campaign mates know my main account. So I've been playing D and D for about two years and have had a long string of player characters that have died during the campaign. I think the count is at six or seven. I genuinely try not to just put my character in dangerous situations, but I often feel like the rolls just don't go my way. First one was a barbarian and I was going reckless for every attack and then the bad guy got some good rolls and just crit me a few times in a row. Then they finished me off during death saves. Then another one I decided to try being a bard, got silenced and immobilized. Then some generic low level guys just came and beat me up and I was not able to fight back at all. Hey, this guy can't talk. This reminds me of There was a story where the DM created a bird that hates you that just killed that like wiped the party. Cause it was like yeah, this bird hates you.

[Spencer]

He was mad at his party so he was just like yeah and enter.

[Shane]

The bird that hates you. The bird that hates you. This one was actually a little funny at how useless I was. In any case, I know I'm not very good and will often try to strategize and my groupmates always seem to be on board and then the plans just don't pan out at all. I play for fun and don't particularly mind being bad, but my friends have been getting progressively more upset at me and even saying things like I'm an asshole for always dying and wasting their time.

[Spencer]

Oh that's crazy.

[Shane]

I will genuinely never try to go recklessly into a situation, but it feels like no matter what I do, all the aggression gets focused on me and then I get overwhelmed. I have started asking them if I should just leave the group and let them do their thing. This would be sad for me because this was a group of close friends and I thought we were having a good time. It's only been in the last three to four months that they've started becoming more angry towards me and I genuinely don't know why. In any case, all input would be Appreciated. And there may be a perspective I'm not considering, but am I the asshole for being bad at D and D? Okay, I have Eddie.

[Spencer]

I mean, no, no, he's not the asshole.

[Shane]

I was gonna say I have limited DD experience. Obviously, we've done it here at Smosh a little bit, but you're telling a story together, and the DM has. Does have some control on what's going on. The fact that you were silenced, immobilized, and then a group of characters beat you up. I'm like, I'm questioning, like, I think the DM's killing you a little bit.

[Spencer]

Yeah, it feels.

[Shane]

Immobilized is pretty intense.

[Spencer]

It feels like. I know there's a lot of nuance to DMing and so maybe it's truly just a string of bad luck, but it's like, how much can you blame? Like, you know, I would imagine you'd want to collab with the DM to be like, hey, what am I doing wrong? Like, I would talk to the dm.

[Mari Takahashi]

It's also not just the dm, it's also the group.

[Spencer]

Yeah, it's like you're the group.

[Mari Takahashi]

It is a fellowship. It is everyone together. You die as a barbarian. Wow. I mean, that's the rest of the group also not coming through.

[Shane]

I cannot blame this guy. Six to seven characters dying in a two year campaign. That is absurd. Like, that is going beyond. You can't just roll bad and have that many deaths.

[Spencer]

You can.

[Shane]

I can roll pretty bad, but even I didn't die that easily.

[Spencer]

Maybe, like, I want to know who else is dying. Are they the only person dying in these campaigns?

[Shane]

Everybody dying? But also the purpose of D and D is to have fun, man. You're not playing it professionally in this context. You're just having a good time. This is kind of like if you're playing pickup basketball and someone's playing way too intensely, it's like, hey, man, we're just having a good time here. We're not trying to, like, we're not trying to make the league. So, like, what league? The NBA?

[Mari Takahashi]

The Capital L. The league, dude. Capital L. The league.

[Shane]

Yeah. This just. I'm questioning this DM. I think this DM's killing him.

[Mari Takahashi]

I think the friend group doesn't like him.

[Shane]

It also seems the DD drama that I hear is agonizing.

[Spencer]

It's like some of these D and.

[Shane]

D groups are going through it.

[Spencer]

You can't do anything with that close of a group of people for that long. I think there's always inevitably gonna be drama.

[Shane]

Not all of them. I feel like I hear about good ones but it is a pot that can easily boil. It feels like Comments how old are you? And the other people involved.

[Spencer]

Beyond that he ran into it how old are you?

[Shane]

Yeah, that's crazy. How old are you?

[Mari Takahashi]

Wait, what was it after? How old are you?

[Shane]

How old are you? And and how old are you? And the other people involved including the DM? Apologies new to posting on Reddit. I am a 28 year old man and my friends are 25, 31, 27, 33. The DM is a 32 year old woman and she says she is trying to stay out of it. Someone said not the asshole. This sounds like a DM issue as much as anything else. A DM shouldn't be killing off players so easily.

[Spencer]

I'm sorry, how is the DM staying out of it?

[Shane]

Yeah, the DMs like I don't want any part of this.

[Spencer]

It's like you're running the game.

[Shane]

Yeah yeah my dm. Even when things get dicey there, there are always ways to get out of it and that's what makes a good dm. Also, your teammates should have been trying to help you. It's a team game. Yeah, if you die on Death Saves, it's like either the DM is sending someone to kill you during Death Saves or nobody came to rescue you. Yeah, not the asshole. D and D is about having fun with friends. At no point has any group that I have been a part of has ever been upset that someone's character died. There are only three explanations I can see for this. 1. Your friends are jerks 2. There is something left out of the story above. You are taking forever to make decisions or you require 100% of the DMs time while you make a new character which stops the game or some other social thing that is causing the game to be unfun for the group. Or lastly, this is fake AI op responded. They never used to get upset and it felt like the last three to four months was complete about face. I try to be quicker with decision making but these days I get more anxious with each of my turns because I don't want to be wrong. My friends have all been playing for 10 plus years and I was a new addition. Update the next day. Thank you everyone for your insights and support. I decided a few hours ago to reach out to the DM and just let her know I'm going to find a new group or just separate myself from this one. After a long conversation it came out that actually this group was in fact doing this on purpose and the DM was in on it. She ultimately told me because she says she felt guilty that it went so far. But this explains her lack of insight or help, I guess. Apparently this group had trouble getting through fights encounters, and the DM got frustrated that this was interfering with her storytelling. Then when I came around, they found that having all the enemy's attention on the new guy allowed the real players to explore their stories and encounters without having to retreat all the time. Honestly, it seemed like some convoluted logic to me, and I'm assuming they started expressing this anger towards me as a way of keeping me useless via insecurity of my experience and decisions. This inevitably made me feel like it was my fault. And then when my own decision stopped killing me, they would just allow my character to gradually die off by not equitably distributing help. In any case, I'm definitely out of this group, and they definitely are not my friends. This has made me really confused because I just don't really understand why they had to go about this in such a hurtful way. But I appreciate everyone for helping me get the courage to talk to them and push hard enough to actually get some truth. So this group was so bad at D and D that they needed to get someone in to be a punching bag so that they can also.

[Mari Takahashi]

They're so bad at communication.

[Spencer]

Oh, there's so many other ways to tackle this issue instead of having it differently.

[Shane]

Like, what the hell is going on here?

[Mari Takahashi]

Yikes.

[Spencer]

Yeah. That's way worse than anything I could have imagined.

[Shane]

How bad at storytelling do you have to be that it's like, okay, we gotta have someone so they can handle the bad stuff.

[Spencer]

And even I think there could be a world where you almost communicate with someone where it's like, oh, and I'll make the character that keeps dying and kind of throwing themselves. That is a character choice. That is funny. And maybe they figure a way to keep resurrecting him. And that's part of. That's the cool thing about D and D or any rpg is that you can.

[Shane]

Yeah. But the setup is that they are purposefully targeting so the others get to play the game. It doesn't make any sense.

[Spencer]

And that's what I'm saying. There's so many ways to circumvent that issue or be clever about it instead of just stringing a human being along.

[Shane]

Yeah. It sounds like they're really. It sounds like they're really bad at D. And D as a group. Bad players, bad friends.

[Spencer]

It sounds like they're just bad problem solvers, period.

[Shane]

Yeah, straight up.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah, you tell them. Yeah, bad don't wake up.

[Shane]

The DMs also a bad DM. Cause that just doesn't. That's a world where the logic doesn't make sense, you know, like you're supposed to be telling an interesting story.

[Mari Takahashi]

Stay out of it.

[Shane]

Everything in this world hates.

[Spencer]

Get silenced. Get immobilized.

[Shane]

Yeah, get beat up. All right, our next story comes from Am I the asshole? September of 2025 another recent one Am I the asshole for drawing an ugly portrait of someone who passed away like a character?

[Mari Takahashi]

Oh my God.

[Shane]

Ugly in quotations. So maybe OP does not think yeah, maybe they don't think for context. This happened a few years ago during my second to last year of high school. I recently shared this story with my friends at university and they argued over whether I was in the wrong, which is why I'm posting this. In my second to last year of high school, a girl in our grade passed away. She was terminally ill and the school did a short assembly speech and a memorial was set up. Admittedly, I was not that close with her. We were acquainted and spoke occasionally, but we weren't close friends per se. On the day before her memorial, I drew a portrait of her and brought it to school. I noticed that in the area set aside for her memorial, there were some framed photographs of her as well as portraits drawn by her friends. To be clear, I was not even planning on sharing my portrait to begin with. I intended to see if other people were sharing portraits first since I didn't want to overstep. I would also say that I am a good artist. I had a reputation as the class artist. When I placed my portrait next to the other portraits drawn of her, one of her friends came up to me and told me that my drawing wasn't welcome. I was confused since I saw that there were other portraits, but I realized that they were all drawn only by her close circle of friends. I was also told that my drawing was so ugly that it had to have been on purpose to mock her. Multiple people mocked my drawing. What I don't understand is that even if my drawing was ugly, that was obviously never the intention. I made the drawing to commemorate her and she had no right to disrespect me so openly. Even if she were a close friend of hers, she didn't have any right to decide whose artwork could or could not be placed on the memorial. Am I the asshole for refusing to take down my artwork. This was years ago. I do not have the drawing or any images of the drawing. I do remember that it was a pencil drawing done on a sheet of paper. All the other drawings at the memorial were also pencil drawings. Edit number two thank you for all the comments. I just wanted to clarify a few things for those who have been asking. Yes, I was grieving. You do not have to be close friends to feel the emotional impact of their death. Secondly, I only mentioned that I was the class artist to corroborate the fact that I am not a bad artist and so I was singled out for not being in their friend group. My motivation was the same as everyone else. Thirdly, this was an open memorial. People brought all kinds of things. Chocolates, pencils, they may have borrowed. Chocolates, chocolates, pencils they may have borrowed from her. Random things like that. The only people to bring drawn portraits were I and some of her closer friends.

[Mari Takahashi]

Pencils.

[Spencer]

She loved pencils.

[Shane]

She loved pencils. The verdict is asshole.

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[Shane]

Think I never maybe for not taking.

[Spencer]

It to me if someone was like oh that's not welcome here, I'd be like oh shit, I need to leave the house. I need to leave the school.

[Shane]

Yeah, I think the verdict makes sense because op in the way they're writing it and I know it's been some years, but it seems like they're making this all about themselves and I don't think it's that the drawing was ugly I think it's that she keeps mentioning it was, like, me and her closer friends. It's like, all right, so, like, her closer friends probably don't even know you that well, so they're like, why are you bringing this here? I don't know. I've never. You know, I never went to high school in person, so I never experienced anything like this. Obviously, multiple layers of that. So I don't know the etiquette and nuances of it.

[Spencer]

I mean, I do think it is always kind of like a thing when this is a weird topic, but when someone dies, it does feel. You almost feel protective of, like, oh, they were my friend in that way. And if someone comes in who it's like, oh, you barely even talk to them. Maybe that might have been their POV is like, why are you grieving? Where it's like. But it's also not a competition. Like, there's so many layers to this.

[Shane]

So many layers. Yeah.

[Spencer]

Grieving, competition. Challenge.

[Shane]

Pit.

[Spencer]

Challenge. Pit. Grief. Yeah. I mean, but it's like, draw. Like, I don't think they're. Asshole's a strong word, I think, for this. But, you know, they drew a picture, they tried to put it up. Like, I don't know.

[Shane]

It sounds a little bit like, yeah, everyone was grieving there, not just you. And this was a complicated situation, and they. They did. They felt offended by that for whatever reason. And it does. I think it ultimately just seems like she made it about herself. Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

Well, I think initially it probably wasn't. And she was also a teenager.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

You know, going through grief and these really heavy feelings. And this was an expression of, how can I use my talents to, you know, honor somebody?

[Shane]

Right.

[Mari Takahashi]

And trying to get through those feelings as a teenager is already so, so big. But now looking back on it, I would agree that not being able to think about what's external and what you can't control and making it about the one thing that you can control is, which is yourself and making it about yourself. I would agree that. Yeah, asshole. But originally, probably not.

[Shane]

Not that. Yeah. We're not saying you're a bad person for what you did. It's just like, oh, here's why what happened, happened.

[Mari Takahashi]

Mm. It's like, what can you control now as an adult? You know, looking back on the situation, but I think agreeable that, like, as a teenager. I mean, come on.

[Shane]

It is a weird situation. Yeah.

[Spencer]

Someone telling you, like, your drawing's not welcome here, though, that would send me. I would crash out. Yeah, I might crash out.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Spencer]

I'D be like, ew.

[Mari Takahashi]

Ew.

[Spencer]

Someone saw the drawing of the girl and said, ew.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah. No, that's really hurtful.

[Shane]

Oh, super hurtful.

[Mari Takahashi]

And especially, like, you know, as a reflection of not only you wanting to do something nice for somebody, even if you didn't know that person, I think that it is still your way of expressing your art.

[Shane]

Right.

[Spencer]

Maybe OP is just, like, legit and annoying person that nobody likes. And so when they brought the drawing there, everyone was like, we don't want that.

[Shane]

It's possible.

[Spencer]

And they left that part out of the story. It's like, op, 19. Annoying.

[Shane]

Yeah, I think. Cause I think I am a little confused. Like I said, I'm speaking from a very outside perspective when it comes to high school, but an open memorial. I'm like, you kind of think everything would be welcome. The whole school's bringing stuff.

[Spencer]

Chocolates and pencils. Weird thing to leave.

[Mari Takahashi]

Pencils that you borrowed.

[Spencer]

Where's the effort?

[Mari Takahashi]

Pencils that you had borrowed. It's like, here's the back.

[Shane]

High school's such a complicated, rough place. And then you add this layer to it. So.

[Mari Takahashi]

And you're, like, visible in your scene, and you're probably feeling like everyone's judging every move you make while you're in that direction.

[Spencer]

So then to bring a drawing up and have someone be like, mm, mm.

[Shane]

Mm, Yeah, I would be mad. Yeah, I get that. I also think it's a tough one to, like, recount, because I'm like, that's such a. Like, I don't know. With a story like that, I'm like, I wasn't there in a moment. Because that sounds like such a wild thing to say at an open memorial that I'm like, I don't know. You were in high school. What your relationship to these people were in high school. What the vibe of everything. What if you were.

[Spencer]

What if OP was a bully?

[Shane]

We don't know all that stuff. And some people, like, don't reconcile with themselves being bullies back in high school. Yeah. They don't think they were bullies back in high school. And there's just a lot of stuff that's going on where I'm like, at face value. Yeah. It doesn't sound like it was.

[Spencer]

I need more details.

[Shane]

But the way they're telling the story is, I think, where the asshole verdict is kind of coming from. So the verdict was asshole, but the comments are kind of all over the place. We have one. You're the asshole. You didn't draw the portrait to mock Her. But you did make a girl's tragic early death about you. And even years later, you're making this moment about you. Her friends likely felt like you were encroaching on this moment. They lashed out at you in grief, which isn't fair, but they were children who had just lost a friend. You should let this one go. Has like 4,000 upvotes. OP said, Fair enough. Someone said, no.

[Spencer]

Hit him with the fair enough.

[Shane]

Someone said no, assholes. Here you are all kids who lost someone their own age that they knew. For some of those kids, it may have been their first experience with death. I know death is always hard, but there's something a little extra jarring about losing someone your age when you're that young. Everybody grieves differently. And while you didn't do anything wrong, I also understand why they lashed out. I'm sure there was nothing wrong with the drawing, and they were just being teenagers, which is emotional enough on its own without adding losing a friend to the mix. Lastly, someone said, you said that you intended to honor the deceased. I can't know if the multiple people who mocked your picture were bullying you or if it really was an unflattering picture. You admitted that you and the deceased weren't close. On the surface, since I can't know what anyone was thinking, it seems that everyone behaved badly. No one should have mocked your artwork, and you should have taken it down in the interest of peace at a funeral. Everyone sucks here. Interesting.

[Mari Takahashi]

That's such a hard thing to do as a 17 year old, to have your art mocked and be like, you know what? You're right. I'm not gonna make it about myself. I have so much empathy for a teenager going through that totally adult different story.

[Shane]

It's a tough thing too. It's one of those stories where it's like we're trying to draw these lines of who's in the wrong, who's in the right. I'm like, it's an awful situation. And yeah, like, you're all teenagers going, like, dealing with grief and things are complicated. Like, yeah, I do agree with, like, let it go. Like, move on.

[Mari Takahashi]

Agreed. Yeah. I think judging how somebody grieves is such an interesting thing, because it's probably a projection of how we're judging ourselves of how we're grieving, you know? And, like, that's a projection. But, yeah, letting it go.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Agreed.

[Mari Takahashi]

It's been years. It's a sucky situation. All of it was sucky.

[Shane]

You get a Jake.

[Mari Takahashi]

It's high school, and, you know it's like maybe it is bringing it back to the point of honoring that person.

[Shane]

Right?

[Spencer]

Draw better.

[Mari Takahashi]

Oh, wow. Wow, Spencer, Anything else?

[Shane]

Get better at drawing, Dude, I would.

[Spencer]

Have left your pencils. Or chocolate. I'm sorry, I'm really hung up on that. Yeah, you are.

[Shane]

No, it has me wondering what those memorials do, like, after. What do they do with all the stuff?

[Mari Takahashi]

Give them to Spencer. This guy loves pencils.

[Shane]

He loves these. Loves those pencils.

[Spencer]

I would commemorate the pencils.

[Shane]

All right, it's time for our final story Comes from. Am I the asshole Am I the asshole for cheating at an eating competition?

[Spencer]

He's back.

[Shane]

No, it's not him. He wants. Wouldn't eat a cheat. So our local restaurant that has really good wings was hosting a hot pepper eating competition recently.

[Spencer]

Y' all did a few of those?

[Shane]

Yeah, with. Yeah, we've had a few of those with a bunch of coupons for free wings on the line. I have a weird genetic quirk where my body doesn't register capsaicin normally, so my spice tolerance levels are way higher than normal. So I entered the competition and won the coupons, but my friends are now telling me that I cheated and I should have let normal people compete and get the wings. So Reddit, am I the asshole for competing? The wings are so good, though.

[Spencer]

He's like.

[Shane]

He's like, you're an X Men. I was gonna say he's like, unbreakable.

[Spencer]

But for eating wings.

[Shane]

That's how shit works, man. What's his name?

[Spencer]

Lance Armstrong and his big ass heart. And the drugs.

[Shane]

And the drugs help. Joey. Joey Chestnuts. You can't tell me that guy has, like a normal stomach. He's gotta have some sort of genetic thing going on. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, that's being like, oh, NBA players. Like, you guys are all cheating. You're all really tall. Yeah, can't do that. No.

[Spencer]

But him having like, the mutant power of not being able to, like, taste, that's.

[Shane]

That's kind of awesome.

[Spencer]

Yeah, it's like, that's your calling.

[Shane]

Yeah, truly.

[Mari Takahashi]

But then there's a sadness also of not being able to experience spice.

[Spencer]

There is a sadness.

[Shane]

That's true. That's sad.

[Spencer]

That's the sacrifice, I'm gonna say, though.

[Shane]

Like, I wonder if his butt has the sacrif. Same powers. That does. There's a second part.

[Mari Takahashi]

Second part of the asshole to it.

[Shane]

That was when the first time I had to have a habanero pepper here, I was like, oh, my God, that was awful. It was like, horrendous. And then later, when I used the bathroom, I was like, that was worse. That was terrifying. I was scared. Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

First time I did have an error on the channel, it was with the warp zone and one of the warp zone. And I went into the bathroom at the same time. After the shoot was done, we came out like, 45 minutes later. the same time. We were like, they had y' all.

[Spencer]

Eating so many peppers back then.

[Shane]

So many habanero peppers over the years. Like, easily a dozen.

[Spencer]

Like, I think it's time to bring it back. We gotta have, like, Angela and Amanda. Like, we would actually be down, like, has enough time pass, like. Cause we brought back five nights at Freddy's, like, last year or something like that. And I'm like, is the time. Is it pepper time again?

[Shane]

I might just. Pepper time. I can just do it. I'm just gonna do it on Smoshmouth. Just going to be talking.

[Spencer]

I'll just pop.

[Shane]

I'm going to do that. Do smelling salts at the same time. Just be fucked up.

[Spencer]

Have you ever done smelling salts?

[Mari Takahashi]

I haven't done a smell, but I know it's crazy.

[Shane]

I did it once.

[Mari Takahashi]

Is it actually, it's crazy. I just always watch juju mufu have it.

[Shane]

I did it once for a TikTok. I was at home by myself, and I was like, I've always been curious, so I'm going to do it. And, like, you truly just buy it. It's a cheap.

[Mari Takahashi]

You get a ball experience.

[Shane]

It is.

[Spencer]

It's like getting slapped in the face.

[Shane]

You know, like, how horseradish, like, does that. Imagine that times a million where, like, you truly. Like, the bottle was here, and I went like. I was like, okay, I'm gonna try this. And I have the TikTok. I could. We could show it a second of it. I see God. I see God. Oh, my God. It's crazy. I was genuinely like, I'm gonna try to, like, not react that much. I'm gonna do my best. And it's not like. It's also just, like, the moment, and then it doesn't go away for a while. And I was just like. I just cry in tears. So, I mean, it wakes you up.

[Mari Takahashi]

So what? Okay, so people do it before, like, lifting weights and stuff. What did it make you want to do if you like, you just, like, had the superpower.

[Shane]

I don't think enough people use it like that, but it truly is like, oh, my. Adrenaline, everything. I was like, oh, my. But mostly it was here, and it's just like, it goes through. You feel your entire, like start taking olive oil. It's nuts.

[Mari Takahashi]

Just chugging that olive oil.

[Shane]

It was unbelievable. It's not painful. It's just like, whoa.

[Spencer]

Are either of y' all in the video where Cordy eats the raw onion?

[Mari Takahashi]

I don't think so.

[Spencer]

And she's like crying the whole time.

[Shane]

No, it's not the raw onion. It was the.

[Spencer]

There's a raw onion. Where she takes a bite of a raw onion and like there I have.

[Shane]

Like very bites of raw onions. That's not so bad. Courtney did the. No, Courtney did the chip. The one chip.

[Spencer]

The one chip challenge.

[Shane]

She did that. And truly we almost were like, should we cut? Are you okay? That was back on show with no name.

[Mari Takahashi]

What's that chemical that's on, like sour patch candies and stuff?

[Spencer]

Oh, Garrett's favorite.

[Shane]

Oh, malic acid.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Shane]

I don't react to that.

[Mari Takahashi]

That's.

[Shane]

See, I have what this guy has. Malic acid. That's a weird Super Bowl Sour stuff. Doesn't. Just doesn't. It reaches like a limit and then it doesn't get more sour.

[Mari Takahashi]

I'm like thinking about the malic acid and my mouth's already like, I did.

[Shane]

So much malic acid on either Eat it. And I just was fine.

[Mari Takahashi]

Say that sentence without the malic.

[Shane]

I know I did so much acid. Comments. Congrats. You are the Michael Phelps of chicken wings. If he wasn't cheating by having a genetic advantage when it comes to swimming, you weren't cheating by having a genetic advantage when it comes to spicy food. Someone said it's like telling a guy who's 7ft tall not to enter basketball dunking competition so guys under 6ft can have a fair chance. Someone said. Fuck that. You didn't cheat. Your friends are weak minded individuals. Not the assholes. Someone said your friends. What?

[Mari Takahashi]

Lion says.

[Shane]

Someone said your friends are stupid. They should have bet on you winning. Not the asshole.

[Spencer]

Bet on it.

[Shane]

Someone said, we need to get you on hot ones. Update. Thanks, guys.

[Spencer]

I guess update.

[Shane]

I love hot ones. Thanks, guys. Sean Evans here. Thanks, guys. I guess the consensus is that the chicken wings gods blessed me and my friends are just jelly. I now have to embark on the holy pilgrimage to all hot pepper contests in the Fire Nation to conquer them all. Wish me luck. Since many people asked. No, it doesn't hurt throughout the whole body, nor on the way out. Wow. So he's got superpower all the way through.

[Mari Takahashi]

That's true power.

[Shane]

That's awesome.

[Spencer]

Unbreakable.

[Shane]

That's really cool.

[Mari Takahashi]

What else do you do? Other than, like, winning these contests and getting free T shirts? What do you do with this power?

[Spencer]

Hey, what else do you need? I need.

[Shane]

That's kind of all you need? Just any. Almost so many restaurants you could go to and probably get free stuff. Cause they all have competition.

[Spencer]

Just me sitting down at Chili's.

[Shane]

Hey, I'll eat whatever you want. Just give me free wings. Free stuff. Like that guy could be on every single wall at so many restaurants. Halal guys has their wall of fire, whatever, where you have to do their challenge.

[Mari Takahashi]

He just doesn't have to pay for dinner.

[Shane]

Just go do that. Anyways, well, that's all our stories today. And they. I cried laughing nonstop. This was amazing.

[Spencer]

The guy eating. The guy who eats is what favorite guy?

[Shane]

The man who eats. The man who eats these stories. Hey, they ate. Yep. Mari, thanks for being here.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah, thanks for having me. This is great.

[Spencer]

Yeah.

[Shane]

So fun. And, Spencer, you're out of your mind, as always. Thank you so much for watching and listening. Before we go, Mari, is there anything you want to shout out? Anything you're working on or anywhere people can find you?

[Mari Takahashi]

You can find me at Atomic, Mari, as usual. And I don't know, I'm just up to a bunch of stuff. Enjoying life.

[Spencer]

Oh, yeah.

[Shane]

Hell yeah.

[Spencer]

Sick life.

[Shane]

Sick. Thank you for watching and we'll see you next Saturday.