Finally A Happy Ending | Reading Reddit Stories

Summary

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Smosh Reads Reddit Stories

Episode: Finally A Happy Ending | Reading Reddit Stories

Host: Shayne Topp
Guests: Angela, Damien
Date: January 24, 2026

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Overview

This special "wholesome" episode swaps out the usual Reddit chaos for feel-good stories, each with a happy ending. Host Shayne, joined by Angela and Damien, guides the group through a series of Reddit-sourced tales, sparking plenty of laughter, poignant reflection, and the occasional tear. From navigating relationships at work to life-changing gestures of love and tales of lifelong friendship, this episode delivers heartwarming content and hilarious, deeply human reactions.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Navigating Office Romance at Holiday Parties

[02:30 – 13:58]

• Summary:
  The first story involves an office romance—two employees, now openly a couple, attending their holiday party together, but uncertain about the right balance between professionalism and openness.
• Commentary:
  • Shayne draws parallels to his dynamic working with Courtney, noting the unique Smosh work environment and how couples at workplaces can set clear boundaries.
  • Angela and Damien discuss the importance of professionalism at work events, even after hours, reminding listeners that conduct outside the office can still affect workplace reputation.
  • The trio agree that being matter-of-fact and calm about relationships tends to normalize them for others.
• Notable Quote:
  • "If you treat it like no big deal, everyone else will likely treat it like no big deal." – Shayne (11:04)
• Memorable Moment:
  • The crew riffs on ugly sweater couples and workplace Oompa Loompas, blending real advice with their signature absurdity.

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2. Should You Say No to Grandpa’s Shortcake?

[17:25 – 24:35]

• Summary:
  A 21-year-old feels guilty after letting his 77-year-old grandfather (with high blood sugar) indulge in strawberry shortcake, drawing the wrath of a vigilant grandma.
• Commentary:
  • Angela and Shayne reflect on the balance between health and happiness in old age, agreeing it’s reasonable to let older adults enjoy treats in moderation.
  • Damien shares a heartfelt anecdote about his own family, supporting the idea that the joy of life sometimes trumps strict adherence to rules.
• Notable Quotes:
  • "It’s not your job to control other grown adults. The man is 77 years old. If he wants to eat a shortcake every now and then… let him." – Shayne quoting Reddit comments (23:19)
  • “If a man can’t have a strawberry shortcake every now and then at 80, what’s the point of living to 81?” – Anonymous Reddit comment, read by Shayne (24:01)
• Memorable Moment:
  • The team reminisces about grandparents sneaking treats and the irreplaceable value of small joys late in life.

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3. When Your Partner’s Kid Calls You “Dad” For The First Time

[44:25 – 30:37]

• Summary:
  A man in a long-term relationship worries about being a good father figure when his girlfriend's son calls him "dad" for the first time.
• Commentary:
  • Angela and Damien praise the OP’s healthy self-doubt, agreeing that caring enough to question oneself is a sign of a good parent.
  • The group highlights the unique nature of chosen family bonds, emphasizing patience, communication, and understanding.
• Notable Quote:
  • "Take the best of what your parents offered you and pay it forward… Everything else should flow from that." – Reddit commenter, summarized by Shayne (27:25)

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4. The Case of the Mysterious Woman Visiting My Boyfriend

[31:15 – 42:54]

• Summary:
  A woman questions her boyfriend's fidelity when an elderly neighbor reports seeing another woman visit their house while she's away—with suspiciously intimate goodbyes.
• Discussion:
  • The group weighs various ways to approach the suspected infidelity, but remembers the episode's theme is wholesome.
  • The update reveals her boyfriend was planning a proposal with help from her best friend—the “other woman” was only there to help with this surprise.
• Notable Quotes:
  • "I guess maybe if it’s best, best friend, like depending on how close you are, there can be a little like… But I don’t know." – Damien (40:05)
  • "He's been preparing to propose to me. Yes." – Shayne (38:56)
• Memorable Moment:
  • Genuine joy as the hosts realize the story’s tension resolves with an engagement, not a breakup.

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5. A Father’s Sacrifice: Paying Off Student Loans

[43:04 – 48:09]

• Summary:
  A woman’s student debt is mysteriously paid off—turns out her father sold his prized, lifelong Harley project to make it happen.
• Discussion:
  • Damien gets emotional, relating the story to personal family experiences and highlighting parental love as the driver of selflessness.
  • The cast talks about how acts of sacrifice are also gifts for the giver and how accepting such sacrifice is sometimes the ultimate gratitude.
• Notable Quotes:
  • “Doing that for you is one of the proudest moments of his life. Don’t feel guilty, but do feel loved.” – Reddit comment read by Shayne (48:04)

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6. Lifelong Friendship Turns To Love Amid Illness (James & Amumu Story)

[48:40 – 76:37]

• Summary:
  The centerpiece of the episode: a woman in cancer treatment reflects on 25 years of best friendship with James, a man who has been her unwavering support through coming out, crisis, and illness. Despite identifying as gay, she experiences a profound emotional and budding romantic attraction to James. She debates whether to tell him, worrying about the impact if her health turns for the worse.
• Discussion:
  • The room falls silent and emotional as Shayne reads the beautifully written original post and the update, which recounts the moment she confesses her feelings. James reciprocates; the two finally become a couple.
  • The group and their crew are visibly and audibly moved, pausing at times to process the powerful emotions and affirm the story’s cinematic, almost novel-like depth.
  • They reflect on love transcending labels, sexuality, and adversity.
• Notable Quotes:
  • “He’s the only thing I want for the rest of my life.” – OP (53:00+)
  • “You’re the only thing I’ve ever wanted.” – James, as recounted by OP (68:54)
  • "You give that man a hug and love him as much as you can. That's what you do." – Shayne quoting Reddit comment (47:31)
• Memorable Moments:
  • The whole crew weeping, including the production staff ("Everyone behind the camera is crying." – Damien, 60:09).
  • Angela describes the saga as worthy of a stage play.
  • In the update, OP describes James breaking into tears (for the first time in their friendship) and their mutual happiness as they decide to face whatever future may come, together.

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Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• "If you treat it like no big deal, everyone else will likely treat it like no big deal."
  — Shayne (11:04)

• "If a man can't have a strawberry shortcake every now and then at 80, what's the point of living to 81?"
  — Reddit comment, read by Shayne (24:01)

• "Take the best of what your parents offered you and pay it forward... Everything else should flow from that."
  — Reddit commenter, summarized by Shayne (27:25)

• "He’s the only thing I want for the rest of my life."
  — OP, James & Amumu story (53:00+)

• "You’re the only thing I’ve ever wanted."
  — James, as recounted by OP (68:54)

• "Doing that for you is one of the proudest moments of his life. Don’t feel guilty, but do feel loved."
  — Reddit comment, read by Shayne (48:04)

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Recurring Themes & Closing Thoughts

• Value of Honest Communication: Many stories center on open, vulnerable conversations—whether about relationships at work, difficult family dynamics, or lifelong romantic feelings.
• Compassion, Acceptance, Forgiveness: The group repeatedly affirms that empathy and acceptance lead to happier, healthier outcomes than paranoia or judgment.
• Cherishing Small Joys: Whether it’s letting a grandparent have shortcake or savoring the tiny gestures of a lifelong friend, there’s constant acknowledgment of the preciousness of life’s small moments.
• The Power of Found Family & Support: From stepdad stories to lifelong friendships, the crew emphasizes that chosen, nurtured relationships can become our greatest sources of love and resilience.
• Laughter Amid Tears: Even the most emotional stories are seasoned with the signature Smosh blend of irreverent humor and affectionate ribbing.

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Final Segment

[79:46 – end]

• The crew wraps up emotionally exhausted but grateful for the opportunity to share stories affirming the goodness in people and the possibility of unlooked-for joy and love.
• With a final nod to James and the hope that the central story’s happy ending continues, Shayne and his guests encourage listeners to cherish the wholesome moments in their own lives.

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For more feel-good episodes, join Smosh Reads Reddit Stories every Saturday!

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Transcript

[A]

Smosh Reads Reddit stories is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. You chose to hit play on this podcast today. Smart Choice Progressive loves to help people make smart choices. That's why they offer a tool called Auto Quote Explorer that allows you to compare your Progressive car insurance quote with rates from other companies so you save time on the research and can enjoy savings when you choose the best rate for you. Give it a try after this [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates not available in all states or situations. Prices vary based on how you buy back to the show.

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[A]

Hi, I'm Shane, and welcome to Smosh Reads Reddit Stories. Today, the theme is wholesome. That's right. As opposed to our typical horrifying drama. We have some very sweet stories today. I'm sure there's gonna be some drama mixed in there, but know that there's gonna be happy endings today. And I'm joined by of the sweetest, most wholesome people I know, Angela and Damien.

[B]

Thanks for having us, Jane.

[C]

Thanks.

[B]

The pancakes are whole and I had some.

[A]

We did.

[B]

Actually, we had pancakes for lunch.

[A]

Pancakes for lunch.

[B]

That's wild.

[A]

We're recording this on a Thursday, so it's Thursday. Get your pancakes out. All right, so we have a bunch of wholesome stories today to go over, so we're gonna hop right in to our first one.

[B]

Let's look out for the negative.

[C]

Oh yeah. We're gonna point out anything wrong with it and be like you actually haven't about people who Had a bad day.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So our first story comes from December 5, 2017. This was posted on askamanager.org so not technically a subreddit, but it was reposted onto Reddit, so it counts for us. My date to the office Christmas party is a co worker.

[C]

Oh, song talk.

[A]

I thought it was that. It's an elf being like, hey, guys, so you gotta be chill, alright? I brought Santa.

[B]

Wait, someone's gotta make a movie where Santa falls in love with an elf.

[C]

That has to have happened, right?

[B]

In like an appropriate way.

[A]

It's gotten messed up in some way or another.

[B]

Yeah, like without, like crossing work power boundaries.

[A]

Yeah, like that's. I think it is against the law.

[B]

But let's see that story.

[C]

I think. I think an elf is an entire different, like, species of thing. I don't know.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I don't wanna talk about that.

[A]

I don't know how the lore goes. I don't know if it's like Lord of the Rings logistics or not.

[C]

I mean.

[A]

And what is Santa?

[C]

Well, Santa is a winter deity. He's like some kind of djinn.

[B]

And are elves kids?

[C]

No, I think they're adults.

[B]

We're cutting that anyway.

[C]

Can I ask, please cut it back in?

[A]

Yeah, cut it out. Put it back in.

[C]

I will use my one veto.

[A]

All right, let's get into this story. My date to the office Christmas party is a co worker. The small regional office for the big company I work for has a lot of people from different teams all thrown together in the same space. Two years ago, a colleague on a completely different team and I started dating. It's going very well. Well, we've moved in together. We immediately made a professional behavior at the office rule and we have been very good at following it. But I'm not sure how to act at the Christmas party, which is off site and more relaxed and everyone is bringing their partners. It's not a secret that we're together, but it's possible that many people in the office don't know, one, we're dating or two, that he's not with his previous partner anymore. I doubt anything we can do could stop people from talking. How can I conduct myself at the party and feel good about my behavior? What's the right mix of professional and not hiding the fact that we're together. Okay, interesting. I feel like I have a little bit of experience with this, Shane. If you do, you wouldn't believe this. I got a little experience.

[B]

I have experience with this.

[A]

I feel like. Yeah, you know? Cause Courtney and I conduct ourselves, and obviously, we have a very different type of professional atmosphere here. Right. It's very silly, goofy. But I think even in videos, Cordy and I have kind of established, like. No. Like, we respect each other as castmates, and we respect the ensemble dynamic here. Like, yeah, we're gonna act that way.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But a Christmas party, to me is, like, you're not doing work, so you're not, like, it's professional still.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I think they're allowed to be a couple there.

[B]

Like, you're not changing the tone of the intended tone of the environment by bringing that person or going together. Because the tone. Or, like, the intended tone, the environment is to have fun and have plus ones and kind of, like, let your hair down a little bit.

[A]

It's a little different.

[C]

I'm a little bit on the other end of that because, like, work parties are still work. You want to cut loose, you want to have fun. But, like, you know, obviously they can show up and, like, be a couple. I don't think that's a problem. But anything that goes beyond, like, if you say something kind of, like. Like too flirty to someone at the office party, it still would be talked about the next day at work. So, like, you just have to be careful, I guess.

[A]

I think it's still. I think you're right. It's still a professional environment. It's not like you're, like, at the club. And I think that's true. Even if you're not dating someone. Not even, like, even when you bring your partner from outside of work, and even if you don't have any. A plus one, you still have to conduct yourself in a specific way. You're not out of work.

[C]

Right.

[A]

But you are in an environment where you're not. Like, we're not doing our job here.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But we are at our job.

[C]

Right.

[B]

I don't think it's hindering them from doing their jobs by bringing each other to the Christmas party.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And if anything, I think it's a good way to show your relationship, but then go back to, like, the boundaries at work. Cause I almost feel like sometimes you gotta tell people at some point.

[A]

Yeah. See, I think what's gonna be weird for people, they're talking about what their concern is of just, like, oh, people may not know that he's not with his previous partner. We're dating. I'm like. I think the best way is, like, you're not obviously making out in front of everybody, but you're hanging out together. You're there As a couple. And if people ask, you go, yeah, we've been dating for a while and it's fine. It's chill.

[B]

Yes. I had two friends recently that I knew independently go together to something intentionally to just kind of soft launch a little bit. And they did that. And it wasn't like a. Like, the way they did. It was just arriving together and leaving together. It wasn't like making out or being inappropriate. It was like just like kind of being like, oh, yeah, we're a two in one shampoo or something. Like, just like being like, just. We, like, come together all of a sudden and that's really it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And nothing's changed. But we just drove together.

[A]

Right.

[C]

I wonder if there is something to be said for the power move of just owning it. Like, if two people. If you know that someone doesn't know yet, and you're just like, hey, Chris, check it out real quick. And then you just like. They usually do that at the party.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

It's kind of brave and cool.

[A]

You might get promoted.

[C]

You might.

[A]

It's definitely another one where, like, I can give this advice. I understand we work at, like, a Kooky Willy Wonka version of, like, most people's jobs, but if two Oompa Loompas.

[C]

Start a relationship, then it comes up.

[A]

But I just. I'm, like, comparing it to my situation and it's just very different. But I'm also, like, what their concerns are about. I'm also like, hey, like, fuck em. Sometimes coworkers are shitty. And you just, like, you don't know what they're gonna say. But that's why I'm like, just go and just be there.

[B]

I think it's a good move. I think they're smart doing it on that terms.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But also I wanna say, like, I feel like you keep saying where it's, like, super kooky and not kooky. You keep thinking it's super silly where we work for you guys to bring it up, but it's actually even more intense because we rely on vibes. And I was thinking about it.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

You and Kourtney actually do such a good job at, like. Think about it. Like, some people who come in as a couple and you play board games, they're already. They're always fighting for each other. Like, even if you're not on the same team, they're like, well, she has a point there.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And you guys, it really is like, we're all playing on our own. And you guys never, like. I never feel like I'M playing with a couple when I'm like, on board AF or something.

[C]

Yeah. To that end, like, not to add pressure, but if you two ever get in a fight, this whole place crumbles to the ground. All of our jobs go away.

[A]

I guess. Yeah. I just mean, like, the etiquette.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Smosh is just such a weird.

[B]

No, it is.

[A]

There are. So when I go, well, this is how we do it. It's like, I understand. We work.

[B]

Yes. No, it's a good.

[A]

It's not like a typical corporate job situation. Even though weird. I think if some. If viewers saw how things operate here, they'd be like, whoa. A lot of it is very corporate.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I think you'd be beholden to the same rules. And I think, you know, if this couple maintains, like, being appropriate at a party while still being together, then anybody talking, that's on them. And that is something that is like, hey, like boss or hr. Like, there's a lot of people talking, like rumors about my relationship, which is they are distracting me and like disrupting things at work. Like, that's not us. So handle that like that's on them.

[A]

Right.

[C]

I also wanna, like, pitch cute sweaters. Wear matching cute sweaters.

[B]

That's appropriate. Damien, that's so fucked.

[C]

Sorry.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[C]

I'm a real kinkster for a couple. You gotta keep your face.

[B]

I see two adults matching and I go, what are you, fucking children?

[C]

Oh, God. Just have full blown intercourse in the middle of a party. Why don't you?

[A]

I'm with sexy. I'm with sexy too. And it's just like, oh, gross. Imagine two elves wearing that.

[C]

Oh, God. Keep going.

[B]

What's that old Halloween costume with the input?

[C]

Oh, yeah, the plug and the.

[A]

Yo, yo, Wendez. Hey, nice soft lunch.

[B]

This couple should have, like a disgusting couple sweater. Arrive separately and just have people be.

[A]

Like, do you feel like I think those sweaters? And they have to both be like, oh, my God.

[B]

That's so funny.

[A]

All right, well, you heard it here. We hate matching sweaters.

[C]

I pitched it. I thought it'd be cute.

[A]

Ticket to the grave.

[C]

Ticket to the grave.

[A]

Don't give him that comments. If you treat it like no big deal, everyone else will likely treat it like no big deal. If someone asks you about it, you can just casually go, oh, yeah, you didn't know. OP said thanks. It felt like a big deal when it started. Now my bad judgment of dating a coworker is kind of retroactively okay because it is working out. I will try to Remember, it's not a big deal anymore. Smiley face, someone said. My partner and I met at work, and although our immediate colleagues figured it out pretty quickly and we told our managers it's taken a while for others to notice that we're a couple, I realized what a good job we'd done of being discreet when our maternity and paternity leaves were announced as two totally separate items on a staff briefing because the colleague who wrote it didn't realize that it's the same baby. My experience was that people either didn't care or were delighted to find out we're together. It hasn't been a big deal. Op said. Lol. Thanks. I'm having bad high school flashbacks. And it's nice to know people can be adults about this stuff.

[C]

Yeah, it's good when they think it's a separate baby. Cause then you get double gifts.

[A]

Oh, they messed up by letting them know.

[C]

Well, you get gifts for having a baby, right?

[A]

I think so. Yeah.

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

You got like pumps and shit.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You guys bought Amanda like hentai. I think I saw on that smosh mouth. Oh, yeah, yeah, I saw that clip.

[A]

Yeah, you were talking about slutty comics.

[B]

Oh, yeah, we bought her a bunch of that.

[C]

Yeah, it's great.

[A]

Yeah, we got her.

[C]

That's awesome that you guys did that for her.

[A]

Update. They broke up. I'm just kidding. Uh, uh, thank you. And the commenters who told me just be matter of fact. I had been feeling uncomfortable about the office not knowing we were together. So when you said I could use the opportunity to come out, I decided to do that. I had this conversation about six times. Colleague, what are you doing for the holidays? Me, Falcon and I are spending Christmas with this family in far off place. Oh, are you two together? Me? Yes. Early in the evening, the response was generally congratulations, plus general talk about traveling. Later in the evening, there was an open bar. I got more questions about details and even had a group raise their glasses and toast us. As a normally private person, I wanted to die of embarrassment a few times. But it was also nice to see that my colleagues care about me and like him. The next day at the office, everything was fine and normal. Happy holidays. His name's Falcon.

[C]

I was.

[A]

He's the boy in that little balloon.

[C]

He's the boy in the. He's the balloon boy.

[A]

Update number two. Four years ago, I wrote in because my date to the office Christmas party was a coworker. And then I sent an update when the party and the following days were drama. Free. This is an update for a pretty low stakes question, but I always love seeing other people's updates. We are still together and have just had a baby. Yay. Shortly after I wrote initially we got a little worried about both working for the same company if there was economic trouble. So we both started job searches. We found a new job and I stopped looking. Then his old team got laid off in the early days of COVID Now we are feeling double grateful both for surviving pandemic layoffs and having a charming new addition to our family. Happy Holidays.

[C]

Oh okay hatchling.

[A]

Yeah, little baby duck Smosh Reads Reddit Stories is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. You chose to hit play on this podcast today. Smart Choice. Progressive loves to help people make smart choices. That's why they offer a tool called Auto Quote Explorer that allows you to compare your Progressive car insurance quote with rates from other companies so you save time on the research and can enjoy savings when you choose the best rate for you. Give it a try after this [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates not available in all states or situations. Prices vary based on how you buy Back to the show. Want to feel more confident with your finances this year? If you have 60 seconds, I can show you how quick and easy it is to start building healthy money habits that could last you the entire year just by using rocket Money. Step 1 Download Rocket Money. Step 2 Link all your accounts and see your entire spending picture your subscriptions, your upcoming bills, your due dates, everything. Step 3 Tap a subscription you don't use and cancel it. Boom. That's money back every single month. Step 4 Create a financial goal for something you want to save for, whether it be a vacation, a retirement account, or a pet's birthday. We don't judge now. Let the app automatically move small amounts of cash towards your goal. In a month, you'll see real dollars piling up. In a year, you'll be shocked at how much money you saved, similar to the over 10 million members on the app that have saved up to $740 a year when using all of the app's premium features, use the Savings Challenge as one step closer to feeling better about your finances [e-mail] Cancel that's RocketMoney.com Cancel one more time, it's RocketMoney.com Cancel. This episode of Reddit Stories is brought to you by Zocdoc. I keep setting reminders on my phone when they would alert me. I was always in the middle of something and never did the thing I was Reminded of like scheduling my annual physical or bi annual teeth cleaning. This is why I use ZocDoc. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment. It's easy. I go into the ZocDoc Apple filter by my insurance, my location, and I filter by reviews from highly verified patients so I can find the best doctor for me. With 100,000 doctors across every specialty, you'll find exactly what you're looking for. I've always been amazed at how simple ZocDoc is. Its interface is incredibly streamlined. You'll be able to find the right doctor that you need within no time and you're gonna probably be able to book an appointment within a day. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to zocdoc.com PittReddit to find and instantly book a top rated doct today. That's zocdoc.com PittReddit zocdoc.com PittReddit that's your show. Our next story comes from. Am I the asshole? This was posted October of this year.

[C]

That's today.

[A]

That's today. Actually, by the time this airs, it's probably like five months ago.

[B]

Yeah, so it'll be Easter.

[A]

Yeah, last year. 2025 actually. Is this 2026 that we're. Yeah, January.

[B]

That's crazy.

[C]

That's crazy.

[A]

Okay, so this was October of 2025. It is of course January and not October when we're recording this.

[C]

Gosh, New Zealand and the UK were great. Can't wait to tell you all about them.

[A]

Am I the asshole for not objecting more to my grandpa having shortcake?

[B]

What?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

What's. Huh? We'll see.

[B]

I'll listen.

[A]

This is a 21 year old. My grandpa, who's 77, gave me a credit card in the use of which I have a very fixed pattern. Each Saturday I have lunch at a mall. I switch the restaurants almost every week, but always have my Saturday coffee at the same place. It's a Japanese bakery. To be more precise, a patisserie. Eventually, my grandpa got curious about me making the same amount of payment at the same shop every week. He became even more curious after finding out what I drink there since I used to hate coffee. Asked me to take him there so he could know if it's really that good. He said it's pretty good and then decided to order a strawberry shortcake. Now, his doctor had warned him that his blood sugar levels was too high. I reminded him of this, but he reminded me he's made changes to his diet and has been jogging. He also said an occasional cheat day won't hurt, so I didn't say any further. Later I went home where my grandma saw the receipt, told him, and then called me to tell me off. She said I should have tried harder to discourage him. And knowing how important health is for elderly people like them. Okay, so he let his grandpa have a little treat even though he has high blood sugar.

[B]

Mm, yeah. And then his grandmother just called him and like, let him have it.

[A]

She was like, you son of a bitch.

[B]

That's what I'm saying. He's like, for her to. For op. To feel that bad, to post on Reddit, this call must have been brutal.

[A]

Like, guys, my grandma really made me feel pretty bad.

[B]

She ripped me a new asshole cause I let grandpa have a strawberry shortcake.

[C]

You gotta keep your elderly folks on a tight leash when you're 21. No, it's a 77 year old man.

[A]

What are you gonna do?

[C]

Like, he's like, no, I'm eating this food. Okay.

[B]

You know, my grandmother's in one of those really old folks homes where it's like beds. And my mom insists on holidays bringing her sangria. And because she's like, truly in the end years of her life, it feels so wrong to get this woman drunk. But then she just, she just wants to be this. And she's like. And each time I'm like, you know what? There's nothing wrong with that. Dude. Dude, she's laying down. Yeah, she's got this thing that goes up and down, but each time it feels wrong. Cause she's old. Right, Right. And you're like, I don't know, There's a lot in the balance here. One little mess up and your blood sugar could. You know what I mean? Like, you're like scared. But then also with my grandma specifically, it's like, she's not in a lot of pain. Let her have a glass of cigarette.

[A]

Totally. I kind of agree.

[B]

Like, but this seems like there's a blood sugar issue. So.

[A]

I understand the fear, but I understand the fear too. I mean, I don't know this guy, but he's like, oh, I'm jogging and I am overall doing it. It's like, let him have a treat, man. No, it's like you're 77. It's also, I guess there's a lot of when people are old, especially like 80s and 90s, where it's like, no, don't do any of that. Bad for your health. I'm like, you're trying to live forever and not enjoy anything. I don't know. A part of me is also like, yeah, man, like you're alive. That's such a gift, you know?

[B]

And what a fun thing to like, share with your grandfather your sound like a sweet moment. Yeah. Your thing that you do every Saturday that maybe when he's not here, you'll remember doing that with him.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know.

[C]

Otherwise you're just like, hey, grandpa, like, watch me eat this stuff. Which kind of sucks.

[A]

Yeah. I don't know.

[C]

Also, like, I think he, the OP did their job. I think saying it once like, oh, hey, be careful. You gotta watch your thing. And that's enough. You did a good job.

[B]

This is just like how when parents get mad at grandparents for giving the kids. Like when you went to grandma's and you got so much candy. And that's the fun part about not being like the primary caretaker, but being like the grandma or being the granddaughter where you're like, here's a cigarette, here's a Jolly Rancher that'll ruin you. But it's just fun. And that's just fun.

[A]

It's fun.

[B]

But I validate the grandmother for calling and being upset. But I don't think OP should feel like an asshole.

[A]

No, OP was fine. And it's. Yeah, he's a 77 year old man who sounds like he is completely. He can make all his own decisions for himself too. And he made a decision there and it's like, all right, great. Like, I can advise. I'm not gonna control you.

[C]

You can't have that cake. I fought through World Wars I and 2 and probably 3, so you let me have this fucking cake.

[A]

The secret World War III that nobody knew about.

[B]

And I understand the fear. I understand the fear too, because like, I imagine the grandmother cares so much about keeping him in good health that maybe she lost her cool a little bit. But I don't think OP should feel like an ass.

[A]

I understand the care there, but I also think like on a health level, and I'm not a health expert by any means, but it's like, you know, yeah, like you're making changes, but that doesn't have to, like, you're allowed to still enjoy things time and again.

[C]

And it's important because full restriction on something means you're gonna probably like catapult one day and just be like, I need to have so much. I need a tub of ice cream as opposed to, I can have my little Treat tonight.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Little treat.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Verdict was not the asshole that's wholesome. But he is.

[B]

The comments are gonna rip us up for the way we reacted on that.

[A]

Fuck comments, not the asshole. Your grandpa sounds like a high functioning adult who wanted to share an experience with you. Which is, pardon the pun, sweet. Your grandma probably vented at you all that she couldn't say to him. If you aren't regularly taking him for Risky foods, why does one treat have to be an issue? Especially since you said he said he changed his diet. Someone said, honestly, not the asshole. It's not your job to control other grown adults. The man is 77 years old. If he wants to eat a shortcake every now and then on Sundays, he can eat a shortcake every now and then on Sundays. It's not your job to police what a grown person eats. He's also not wrong. If he's made changes to his diet to rectify his high blood sugar, then a sweet treat is okay every now and then. He's not likely to keel over from one shortcake. Someone said that my aunt banned my granddad, who was definitely not healthy, but who was well over 80, from eating anything she deemed unhealthy. Cheese, bacon, butter, all desserts. I used to smuggle him cheese, jam and cured meats whenever I could.

[C]

It's like a dog in the kitchen.

[A]

Yeah, because him eating only salads wasn't going to make him any happier. And 60 plus years of eating nothing but unhealthy stuff isn't going to be undone by a few months of abstaining from sugar and fat. Let them eat cakes in moderation. Lastly, someone said, not the asshole. If a man can't have a strawberry shortcake every now and then at 80, what's the point of living to 81?

[C]

That's.

[A]

That's kind of my take. I'm like, you know, you're alive, Cool. But what are you alive for?

[B]

Literally, my grandma asked for her birthday meal to be grocery store shrimp cocktail and lukewarm sangria. There's no way that goes down easy. But it's the last couple years of her life. Yeah, let her eat it.

[C]

That's awesome. 100%.

[B]

I was like, this can't be good for you.

[C]

But yeah, like, what is it? Like, oh, the next day she could be a marathon runner if she didn't have that thing. I was like, no, you said she's like laying down and kind of just wants a drink.

[B]

Just like wants something to watch. Walker, Texas Ranger to.

[C]

Awesome.

[A]

Yeah, let her get A buzz on that show came out and they're like, I'm watching this for the rest of my life.

[B]

What is it about that one generation? They're like this and only this.

[A]

We're stopp here.

[C]

And daytime TV was like heard.

[A]

Like, it's always funny when I talk to anyone over the age, not all of them, plenty will be like listening to modern stuff. But like you talk to a lot of like 60 and 70 year olds and it's like anything from the past 30 years, they're like, what's that? I'm like, I've never heard of the.

[C]

Bee in a pop.

[A]

I'm like, music in the 70s, was that good? You're like, we're done.

[C]

It kind of was though, Sorry.

[B]

And now for like 60 year olds, it's Yellowstone. They're like, I'll cut it here.

[A]

They will come back for Yellowstone, Downton Abbey and Yellowstone. Those stuff they do. This'll do. Yeah, they like that shit.

[C]

You know, I got my mom and her husband to watch Mad Men and they loved it.

[A]

Oh, okay, that makes sense. Cause they remember another one that they're Dick Whitman.

[C]

Both of them.

[B]

Another one that'll sneak right in is the Gilded Age. They're like, oh, that's been on for years. I'm like, no it hasn't.

[A]

Gilded Age, that's been on for years.

[B]

I'm like, that shit's I love this.

[A]

Show just came out. Our next story. This comes from relationship advice. This was posted on the same day as the shortcake story Ducks. So while, while that grandpa was eating shortcake, this was also happening. My girlfriend's son, who's 13, referred to me 39 year old man as dad for the first time. Over the weekend, my girlfriend's son came to me and asked if I could fix one of his friend's bikes. When I fixed it, another one of his friends said, you dad is really good at fixing bikes. My girlfriend's son said something but I didn't catch it. Later on he was playing a video game with me. First time. My girlfriend and I have been living together full time for 5 years. I asked him what he said and he didn't remember. So I asked if he thought of me as his dad and he nodded. I teared up and stuttered and just started the game I thought. And I fucking crushed him at that. I've thought of him as my son for years and told him so, but I don't know how to react. His dad isn't in the picture. Prison. And my girlfriend's Ex who he tried to call dad when he was little, would yell at him for it. My dad was a piece of shit and didn't want anything to do with me. I didn't have a father figure to use as an example. How do I be a dad? Aw. I trust that this guy is probably gonna do this.

[B]

I like that. They've been dating for five years. That's good time.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I didn't know what the timeframe was.

[B]

Yeah. It could have been like, oh, he called me dad. We've been dating for two weeks.

[C]

I was like, that's how they get you. That's how they get you.

[A]

No, five years is like, okay. Yeah.

[C]

That's so sweet.

[A]

Cause that's from 8 years old to 13.

[B]

And he fixed his friend's bike.

[A]

Yeah, he sounds like a sweet guy. Comments? Take the best of what your parents offered you and pay it forward. Take the worst and try not to make the same mistakes. Everything else should flow from that. Hold back on teaching everything as soon as possible. Explore the world together and show them the magic you saw when you grew up. Share your stories. Most of all, try to be patient even when they test your limits out of spite. Someone else said, be nice to that little boy even if you guys ever break up. And lastly, someone said, introduce him as your son every chance you get.

[C]

That's so sweet.

[B]

It's really sweet. Yeah. I feel like with healthy communication with the wife, with the girlfriend.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And making sure everything. Everybody's okay with labels like that, then hell yeah.

[A]

Yeah, go for it. Yeah. I like that advice of, like, be nice to him even if you guys break up, it's like he's his own person. Like, he views like, you are a father figure to him.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So, like, if something goes awry with the relationship, it's like. But understand the severity of your dynamic with this kid.

[C]

I feel like I hear that a lot in stories or even just in media where it's like, well, my dad. Da, da, da, da, da. So I don't know how to be a dad, but it's like, I don't know if that label changes that much. Like, already this kid was with him from 8 to 13, like you said, and is already comfortable enough calling him dad. So it kind of sounds like you're doing it.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I don't think you have to change it and be like, all right, sport, time to do that things. I bought a grill. Like, just be there for them.

[B]

Totally. But I can imagine, like, not growing up with a dad. Then you kind of fantasizing about what that role is that you never got and being like, how do I even do that if I never saw it?

[A]

That's true.

[B]

So I get it. But it's also like, he fixed the bike and he's playing video games. He's just gotta show up. I guess.

[A]

I think what he's feeling, though, is not a very isolated thing. Like, I'm not a dad, but I think so many people grow up, you know, without father figures or with father figures that they don't wanna replicate. So you kinda do have this thing of like, wow, I didn't get a rubric of how to do this.

[B]

I know what not to do.

[A]

Yeah. So it is like, you have no choice but to like, hey, be kind and be there for him and be supportive.

[C]

I guess my view is kind of the other way around where I'm like, my assumption is generally that most of us don't get out of childhood scot free. Some people are like, oh, everything was great growing up. But the vast majority of people I meet were like, this was messed up. This was messed up. And sometimes those things happen even when people are trying their best. So my mindset is just like, well, what do you mean? Of course you're gonna make mistakes, so will everybody else, like, just be there for them. And again, I'm not a dad, so it's easy for me to be like.

[A]

Well, just do it like this.

[C]

But still.

[A]

Right. But I think when I. Cause I know plenty of people who are parents. And I think what I think is good is when I hear that level of doubt. Cause I think where a lot of trouble comes. And so many people our age especially had parents that were like, no, what I'm doing is right and I'm not questioning it, whatever. And I'm like, that's where I feel like so many of the big issues came from. As opposed to like, hey, man, you have a healthy amount. Oh, am I doing the right thing? It's like, then if you aren't doing the right thing, I trust that you will. Course. Correct.

[C]

Sure.

[A]

And you will understand. Yeah. You kind of have to be an authority figure, but you also are still a human.

[B]

Yes, yes.

[A]

And you're kind of. You're always growing up, you're always learning and figuring things out. And when you're a kid, you don't know that about the adults in your life. But as an adult, you know, it's. Yeah.

[C]

You look back and you're like, wow. You know, I think about my parents and I'm like, they started Having kids when they were like younger than I am now and I'm like, wow. And like they were already on the older end of starting to have kids. Yeah. So I'm just like, oh my God. Like that's crazy to think about.

[A]

Yeah. But I believe in this guy.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So yeah, you got it, champ. Our next story comes from relationship advice. This was posted in March of 2019. This is a 22 year old woman. She writes my neighbor, a 70 year old woman told me about a woman, a 20 year old woman, visiting my boyfriend who's 22. When I'm gone.

[C]

I hope it turns out to be her. And the old lady's just confused.

[A]

Yeah, lady's like, sorry, I don't have my glasses.

[C]

It turns out it was you.

[B]

Wait, this seems like a fun Betty White movie where it's like her and the other girl are like, let's go get em.

[A]

Yeah, I love that. Okay, going to keep this short because I really don't know what else to say. Been together with my boyfriend for three years and he moved in with me last year. I was already living here for a year or so and developed a friendship with my lovely neighbor. She's retired and a really sweet lady. She basically knows everyone in the neighborhood and sits at home most of the day. Today she came up to me and said that she had something to tell me but that I shouldn't get mad at her. I told her I would never get angry with her and to go ahead. She said that when I've been gone, probably a late shift or when I'm visiting someone I don't know, she has seen a woman come into my house and leave before I come back. I pressed her for more details and she said that as far as she knows, she's seen her come by three times and that she thought I should know. When she leaves, she hugs, kisses my boyfriend and she believes she stays for at least an hour or two. Got some generic details from her appearance, but nothing specific. Of course all the alarm bells are going off in my head. There are no signs my boyfriend is cheating and we've talked about how we would rather end things. Instead, he did start working overtime more, but I have a friend at his company who talked about this too and he's bringing in bigger paychecks so that adds up. I don't want to jump to conclusions. How do I approach this? What do I do? And how do I confront my boyfriend? I don't know anything for sure and it could be anything. At this point I'm really freaking out right now. Smosh reads Reddit stories is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. You chose to hit play on this podcast today. Smart Choice. Progressive loves to help people make smart choices. That's why they offer a tool called Auto Quote Explorer that allows you to compare your progressive car insurance quote with rates from other companies. So you save time on the research and can enjoy savings when you choose the best rate for you. Give it a try after this [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates not available in all states or situations. Prices vary based on how you buy back to the show.

[B]

Five years ago, I was paying $65 a month for my subscriptions. Today, those Same subscriptions cost $111 and I don't even use half of them anymore. That's why now I use Rocket Money to manage my subscriptions for me. The app gives you a list of all of your subscriptions and reminds you of upcoming payments so you're not hit prize charges. On top of that, it also sends you alerts when subscription prices go up, so you always know the price you're paying. If you decide you no longer want a subscription, you can cancel it right from the app. No customer service needed. And the best part is, Rocket Money even reaches out and tries to get you refunded for some of the money you lost. On average, people that cancel their subscriptions with rocket money save $378 a year. And overall, Rocket Money has saved its members $880 million in canceled subscriptions. Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Go to rocketmoney.com cancel to get started. That's rocketmoney.com cancel rocketmoney.com cancel.

[C]

That's tough.

[B]

Whoa.

[C]

That's really tough.

[A]

I.

[B]

No, this is scary.

[A]

Yeah. I wouldn't know what else to say other than I guess you have to talk to your boyfriend. But like, it's like, is he gonna tell the truth?

[C]

That's the thing. If someone's already committed to lying, they're either gonna like gaslight you into thinking something else or that you're crazy or how dare you accuse.

[B]

I think you gotta take a sick day and hang out with the old lady. Oh, it's immediately what I would do.

[A]

That's the smartest move.

[C]

Just get a ring camera too. Just be like, yeah, I just got us a ring camera. What are you gonna do? Avoid the front door.

[B]

Don't show em you know anything.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

No. Yeah.

[B]

Keep everything the same.

[A]

Play your cards close to your chest.

[C]

Have a different breakfast and be like, Sorry I cheated on the other breakfast. Does that bring up anything for you?

[A]

Okay. Comments? Two approaches. One, hey, who's your friend that visits while I'm gone? Two, I know about the other woman you're seeing. You have one chance to sit down right here, right now and come clean 100%. Otherwise, you're moving out and you're moving out now. One lie, one omission, and you're gone. If you in any way fear his reaction or plan on throwing him out anyway, I'd have a few friends on standby. OP said this is pretty useful. Thanks. I think I'm going with number one and work towards two. If it doesn't check out, I'm confronting him tomorrow. Someone said, give the neighbor your number. Ask her to call you when she sees the visitor. What if she is seeing you going to work not realizing it's you? OP said she would definitely recognize me. And this woman has a different hair color, so I know for sure it's someone else. I don't have enough patience for this option, though. It's eating me alive. Someone said, you arrange to be gone in the evening for something and then sit with your lovely neighbor and see if anyone turns up. Do it as many times as necessary to find out what's going on. And have a camera ready.

[B]

Bring over some fucking strawberry shortcake and.

[A]

Some sandwich and some sangria and get.

[C]

To eating and hanging out and get that scrimps.

[A]

You know, this old lady is just like. She really cares about her, but, you know, she's. This has gotta be so entertaining for her.

[B]

Oh, are you kidding? She's like, no. Different hair color.

[A]

Different hair color. Oh, she has done the research.

[C]

If there is no other woman, she just wants her to hang out and it's just like, yeah, bring the shrimp. Bring the shrimp. Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Update. What if I was like, there's no update. We have no idea what happens. All right, what's your bet? What's your bet on what happens? Is he cheating? How did she catch him?

[B]

Oh, all right.

[A]

We're gonna go with the bet of he's cheating or what's the strategy?

[B]

I think she's gonna bring it up to him and he's gonna lie.

[C]

I think in any other episode, other than the wholesome episode, it would be cheating. I think either this is gonna lead to an incredible friendship with the old lady, or it's like, apparently my boyfriend has been taking dancing and kissing lessons so that he can propose to me.

[B]

He's taking dancing and kissing lessons?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Kissing.

[C]

When you say goodbye Lessons.

[B]

Oh, yes. This woman comes over so he can learn how to swing dance because he has an elaborate proposal and she loves swing dancing.

[C]

That's my hope.

[B]

You're right. It's the wholesome episode.

[C]

It's a wholesome episode.

[A]

I think it's the wholesome episode. I think it's. I think it's still possible that he's cheating, but that this beautiful friendship between her and the old neighbor, that's fairly the sweet part of this.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Cause this old lady really seems to care about her and has, like, had her back.

[B]

Yeah. Like, they become friends forever. That guy's a nobody. He goes off with that girl. The woman op goes like, friends for a lifetime with the old lady till she passes. And it's like a beautiful story.

[C]

And as she's, like, looking at her grave and, like, saying goodbye, like you see in the distance, the old lady's there behind a tree and just like, winks, and you're like, oh my God, she's still alive. That's crazy. And then there's a sequel.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, onto the update. I almost didn't make this post because I feel so stupid, but there were so many people who wanted an update, so why not? Thanks to everyone who gave advice last time. The next morning, I decided to confront my boyfriend. I wanted the truth from him. I was very upset, to say the least. So I asked him who the woman was that was coming over when I was gone. He looked kind of confused and then started chuckling. I asked him why he was laughing and that I wasn't joking around. He's been preparing to propose to me. Yes.

[C]

Let's go.

[B]

And she makes jewels.

[A]

And one of my best friends came over to look at rings and talk about how and where he should do it.

[B]

I just feel like she's still coming over too many times, but okay.

[C]

And the kiss? Then the kiss.

[A]

I felt really guilty for assuming that he was cheating, but even he admitted that it didn't look very good. He showed me some of the plans that they had made and the text between them, but that he is going to change things up. Now that I know I kind of ruined the surprise, but oh well. I called my friend afterwards and she couldn't believe what happened and we shared a few laughs. He's been working overtime to get me a ring and I don't know how I missed all the signs. She only came over twice, so I guess my neighbor is not that sharp anymore. Lol. Looking back, it all makes so much sense. My friend has been low Key asking about getting engaged, what kind of ring I would like, etc. I feel really stupid and bad for assuming the worst, but my boyfriend doesn't hold it against me and said he would probably have handled it the same way. I'm so happy that we're cool now. The thought of cheating was so tough on me. I already called in sick Monday. For anyone wondering, I already told him I'm going to say yes.

[C]

Aw.

[A]

I still have questions.

[C]

I also, yeah, I'm happy.

[A]

I'm happy. I'm happy for them. The neighbors said that they were kissing and stuff.

[C]

It was a kiss goodbye. And I guess maybe if it's like best, best friend, like depending on how close you are, there can be like a little like. But I'm like, I don't know.

[B]

And then like, where do you go ring shopping inside your home, you know?

[C]

Well, Internet.

[B]

On the Internet. But like, don't you want to go?

[A]

I think I believe this.

[B]

No, let's think about it negatively.

[C]

You want to know the real negative part to this? She's 21. Is what she said. She's 21. And so I'm already going to say yes. I'm like.

[A]

They'Re both 22. They are very young. It's like, all right, you can wait a little bit.

[C]

Is he in the army or what? He can just hold off for a minute.

[B]

I'll have to say I'm glad I gave this neighbor a fun week where she was like, I gotta sit down and tell you something.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Is she chain smoking in your mind?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

She's like, honey, I gotta tell you men of shit.

[B]

Cause I got a hole in the wall. I see everything.

[A]

Ah, yeah. I'm so. I want the follow up on asking the neighbor, like, why'd you say they were kissing? Cause like, was she just at the front at her door just like watching them? She had to.

[B]

She doesn't wear glasses or something.

[A]

There was a comment on that update. Someone said, I had an elderly neighbor tell my ex wife that I had a girl coming over while she was at work. It was my daughter. Oh, I will say, like, it's very fun to have a very elderly neighbor. Cause they will tell you wild things. And some of it you can take some of it, but most of it you gotta be like, I'm not gonna pay attention. Yeah, but they love, they want. I think they want drama. They're watching the gilded age. They want it in real life, literally.

[B]

I had an elderly neighbor tell me there was a bobby pin in our washer machine. Like, it was a death heads up. And I was like, oh no, something really bad's about to happen. Found this in the dryer.

[A]

And you went, no, Then that means.

[C]

And then you let them finish.

[A]

Yeah. Someone said, waiting for the next update, my boyfriend was cheating with my friend under the guise of helping him propose to me. Not really, but this is Reddit. Someone said, I tend not to kiss my wife's friends, but okay, yeah, we really glossed over that part well.

[B]

Cause we thought I was cheating.

[A]

Either the neighbor is fully just blatantly adding that and lying, stirring up some shit, which is possible. So funny. So funny. So Paul. Or the boyfriend is cheating and is.

[C]

Hi, you silly goose. I was looking at rings.

[A]

I was looking at rings. Here's the texts.

[B]

Oh yeah, he showed her texts.

[A]

He did.

[B]

I don't think this old lady's seeing them kiss.

[C]

I saw them full blown intercourse on the grass there.

[A]

I saw it happen. All right, we don't know, okay? We don't know.

[B]

We don't know.

[A]

We're just gonna assume, but we're gonna move on.

[C]

Yeah, I would like to move on.

[A]

Hey, keep the assumptions for smosh alike.

[B]

There you go.

[A]

Our next story comes from true off my chest.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

This is also from October of 2025. Lot happened that month. A good month.

[C]

A good.

[A]

It was from yesterday as of recording this.

[B]

I love when these happened.

[A]

My dad secretly paid off my student loans, but I found out how he did it and I don't know how to feel.

[C]

Did he sell his bones?

[A]

Aww, Jell O dad.

[C]

Yeah, Jello dad sold all his bones.

[A]

He sold all his bones. Happens. Two months ago I got a letter saying my entire 68,000 student loan balance was paid off. I thought it was a scam at first, but after calling the servicer, they confirmed it. A family member made a full payment. I immediately knew it was my dad. He's always been supportive, though not the emotional type of. I called him crying, thanking him. He brushed it off and said, don't worry about it. Just focus on living your life. It wasn't until last week that my mom told me how he did it. He sold the Harley he's been restoring since before I was born. The one he used to tell me would be his retirement ride. He sold it quietly to some collector in another state and used every penny to clear my debt. He's 61, works maintenance at a plant. His knees are shot. That bike was the one indulgence he ever allowed himself. I don't even know if I should thank him. Again, or apologize. I feel both incredibly loved and incredibly guilty. He traded his dream for my freedom, and I don't know how to carry that. I just needed to tell someone because I can't stop thinking about it. Aw. That's.

[C]

This hits home for me, honestly. Cause my dad, you know, had a very difficult life. And, like, his one thing that he finally got when he was getting close to retirement age was a Harley. Like, a very special Harley that was gonna be his whole thing. And, like, sorry if this is too dark, but I didn't go to college for that long. But the first loans I took out were in his name. So when he passed, it worked out that, like, oh, well, he's gone, so loans are gone. And then, like, also the Harley had to be sold to help pay for some debt. So in a way, it kind of worked out the same way. And I had guilt for that for, like, a long time. But, like, man, a parent like, that, all they want to do is see you happy. Like, there's no sorry.

[A]

That's just.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

Right.

[C]

You know, that's such an act of love.

[B]

And also, like, his relationship with that Harley could shift. You know what I mean? Like, he could have in his older years been like, I've had this for a long time. I actually don't think this is what I want to use it for. I want to use it for this, you know? Yeah, there's a possibility that that could be it.

[C]

It's also, like, some of those bikes are pretty heavy, and you have to really have a lot of leg strength to keep it up at a red light. And if his knees are shot and all that stuff. And also, bikes are dangerous enough as it is. Maybe it served multiple purposes.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, it sounds like he can talk to his dad and talk about it, but, I mean, it's done.

[B]

But also, I totally empathize with the feeling of feeling like your parent is, like, sacrificing a lot. And as just a human, you're like, it's just hard to take it. But then you have to know that, like, I have to remind myself this sometimes with my parents, when they do something nice, that I feel like they went out of their way to do it. I'm like, that is a gift for them, too. Like, I don't even have a kid, but when I do something, when I spend really good money for my dog, I'm like, I wanna do this. Cause it makes me feel happy. Because I love this dog. So I can imagine he feels good about that as well. If he did it with, like, a grounded mindset.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, it sounds like this guy is such a good guy. He probably, like, he views his son, like, he's like, hey, like, this is my purpose. Like, yeah, there's a lot of purpose in that. And, like, that's. He didn't even ask his dad for this. His dad did this. So to a degree. Like, yeah, his dad wanted to do this.

[B]

His dad could have shifted with age and been like, wow, this bike isn't everything I actually want for the rest of my life. I want my kid to be okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, you never know.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

He also said, like, the op also said that the dad was restoring it since before he was born. I don't know. I like fixing things sometimes and making things nice. Like, he did get 18 plus years of the hobby of restoring a bike.

[A]

Totally.

[C]

Probably rode it in the meantime, like, you know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But it is a really hard thing. It's a hard thing. Sometimes the hardest, with really big gifts, is learning how to accept it and know that they want to do that and you can't take that from them sometimes.

[A]

Right. Comments. You give that man a hug and love him as much as you can. That's what you do. Someone said, as a father, this is all we need. If he loves you as much as I do my kids, that was not a difficult choice and probably something he had planned on doing for a long time. Someone said doing that for you is one of the proudest moments of his life. Don't feel guilty, but do feel loved. Someone said, you give that man a huge hug and tell him how much this means to you. Then set up a weekly or bi weekly or monthly date with him. Show him how much you appreciate him. This makes me so happy. It's really sweet. Yeah, I feel like that's kind of it.

[C]

Yeah, that's really special.

[A]

Vroom, vroom, and vroom, vroom.

[C]

And vroom, vroom, too.

[A]

As well. And here's the thing. His dad is a duck.

[C]

Oh, my God. And he couldn't hit the little.

[A]

Couldn't do it.

[C]

You can't shift with your left foot because you've got the little duck flappers.

[A]

And we're back.

[B]

And we're back.

[A]

All right, everyone, buckle up. This final story is a doozy. It's a long one.

[B]

My dream would be him going, this final story is a musical.

[A]

Is a musical.

[C]

I can't imagine this one is a doozy. Call me Ishmael.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Hit it.

[A]

Hit it. All right, here we go. It's time to read this story comes from off my chest. It was posted in June of 2023. I am battling cancer. I'm gay. But I have realized I love my best friend of 25 years, a man. I need to vent all my thoughts and am looking for advice on whether to tell him or not. Just for clarification, OP is a woman. Okay, so I'm battling cancer. I'm gay. But I've realized I love my best friend of 25 years, a man. My dearest friend in the world is a man named James. Not real name. All names and nicknames are altered in this story. I try to describe how great he is, but it's honestly easier just to tell you the story. James and I grew up in the same town, a conservative Christian town in Nowhere, usa. The first time I met him was on the playground at school. He saw me sitting alone under a tree and came over to ask me if I wanted to play with him and his friends. I said no, but he noticed I was reading a book about space, the solar system to be more precise. So he sat down next to me and asked me which planet I thought would be the coolest to visit. We ended up talking for the rest of recess about what we thought the other planets might be like, and when we went back to class he introduced me to his friends as my new friend. Blank. Aww. We were inseparable from that point on. It was one of those things where the entire town, our parents included, had us married off by age 8 or something. We didn't understand at the time, of course, but I would go on family trips with his family, stay over at his place, and vice versa through most of elementary school. Get in trouble for talking during class every day, though not really because the teachers always loved him. This dude can charm his way out of anything. It's unreal. We were best friends when we finally reached the awkward teenage years and dating became a thing. He asked me to do the first school dance and I said yes. We sort of started dating by default. I don't think we ever talked about it explicitly, but I just started calling him my boyfriend to other people and we went with that. Very little changed about our relationship. We still basically just did all the same stuff we used to do before, except our parents got stricter about the sleepovers and there was more hand holding and cuddling. Kissing and stuff was always difficult for me and I didn't know why, but he never pushed me on it at all, not even once. The two times we tried, he was able to tell very quickly that I was uncomfortable and he just shut the interaction down by messing up my hair playfully saying enough of that. How about we just watch a movie? I just assumed one day I would get it. Well, I didn't. Sometime around 15 years old I started to realize the problem. I wasn't sexually attracted to men. This was a very trying time for me. Given the kind of environment I grew up in, this was not acceptable. My parents were extremely religious and extremely anti lgbt. After about eight months of identity crisis over this, I decided to muster up the courage to tell James before anyone else. I didn't know what to expect. I was terrified. I went over to his house trembling. He had done what he always did. Made my favorite snacks and got the controllers and my favorite game. Diddy Kong Racing. Nice, nice, nice. To be clear, nice. He would get Diddy Kong Racing ready to go. He opened the door and gave me a hug and I came in. I was so scared. We sat down and he looked at me for a second before putting his hand on mine and asking me what was wrong. So I tried to tell him and I got halfway through the sentence struggling to actually say I'm gay before he just interrupted me and said, you're gay. Yes, I know. Is there anything else? Followed by that goofy smile I love so much I just froze in place. I asked him if he was mad and he just laughed and told me he loved me the way I was and this was the way I was. I just started crying and jumped into his arms. It felt like 10 minutes at least. I cried before he finally interrupted me in characteristic fashion remarking, however, I will be mad if you let the pizza rolls I made get cold. So how about we stop crying and start eating? We stayed best friends after that. We never actually had a breakup talk, but we did start to date other people. We talked, hung out almost every day until we graduated and he went away to a big name college. The night before he left he came and picked me up and we drove around town and hit all the our favorite spots. He drove me back home at 3am or something in the rain and I took his hand during the drive home and fell asleep on his shoulder. I remember wondering then for a moment if I should just marry him anyway. But he was going away to college and I'm not attracted to men so it probably couldn't work no matter how I felt about him otherwise. He promised to stay in touch, but I didn't know if that would happen. Well, it did. Obviously it wasn't like before, but he made sure to call me every week just to check up on me and see how things were going.

[B]

Every week.

[A]

Every week.

[B]

And he makes pizza rolls.

[A]

And he makes pizza rolls. And he's goaded at Diddy Kong Racing.

[B]

No one said it was good.

[A]

I said he was goaded.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Oh. Which is even better. I went to college close to home. We'd talk about how hard college was, whoever we were dating at the time, and whatever drama was going on. During his junior year, my parents found out that I was gay. They did not react well and I was basically kicked out of my home to save me. My dad going on about me needing Jesus. 40 days in the desert like a lunatic. My parents are good people, so this didn't last and they have more than made it up to me since and worked hard to unlearn their bad programming. But that was an awful time. I did what I always do and called James. He talked to me for about an hour and then got his mom to drive up to get me so I could stay in his old room. Then he flew home the next day pretty much just to cheer me up and make sure I was all right. What vintage driving around in circles singing like idiots and 2am junk food runs did the trick? I later found out from my mom that he had also gone and confronted my parents, stood up for me and told them they should be ashamed of themselves and if they were willing to lose their daughter over this, they were unfit parents and not the second family I thought you were. My parents worship him. So this was effective. And my mom still tells this story to this day. Once again, I remember wondering at the time, will I ever know anyone else in my life who would do this for me?

[C]

That's crazy. Sorry. This person is like straight out of a romance novel.

[A]

Yeah, this guy.

[B]

I was gonna say this guy's not a human. This is a novel.

[C]

Yeah, she does need Jesus. And here he is.

[A]

This is Jesus.

[C]

And here is Jesus.

[A]

But he was heading off back to college and he was still a man, so I didn't do anything. Years went by. He got married. I got a long term girlfriend. We stayed close the entire time. We saw each other a lot less, but it was still great. Every time he visited and we had frequent texts, calls. I looked forward to his visits all year. And then tragedy struck. His wife divorced him. I never liked her, but he did. I think she used him for a green card and he was too sweet to notice, but that's neither here nor there. He came back home, so I saw him a lot more obviously he was crushed, but we got through it together. And then I got the diagnosis at 27. Cancer. There's nothing I can say that describes the feeling, so I'm not even gonna try. Decent chance of survival, but I had to start treatment right away. This experience has changed me and my outlook on life more than anything else that's ever happened to me combined. At first, everyone was there for me. I was getting visitors daily, friends, family, everyone. But as the weeks turned into months, it all stopped. Most people, even my friends, started coming once a week, then once a month, then many not at all. When things were looking bad around the 7th, 8th month, my girlfriend broke up with me, claiming she loved me but she couldn't handle watching this. Almost two years in now and there's only five people who are still here. My mom, my dad, my sister, my BFF Amanda, and James. I almost can't talk about it without crying, but James is here every fucking day. Every day for hours. He may have missed 20 days in almost two years due to work related travel. And even then he calls me. He comes in and asks how is Amumu? Which he's called me since we were kids because I like cows and those are my initials and listens. He brings my favorite snacks, treats when I can have them, board games. We like to play old video games on handheld so we can play. He sings to me and shows me pictures of places he's been. I'd like to go and talks about taking me once I'm better. He sits there and holds my hand in silence so I won't be alone until the doctors tell him it's time to go. Then he does it again the next day. I've never seen him cry or show any sadness. If I even casually say something like if I get better, he'll immediately interject with when, when you get better. He just won't give up on me. The only other person who is still there like this is my mom. Even my dad sister Amanda, who have also shown up in big ways, are not this consistent. I could write a whole post about how this experience has changed my relationship with mom as well. She's proven to me that no matter what happened in the past and what we may have clashed over, she loves me like no one else. Except maybe James. My mom is the number one all time James fangirl. She has been attempting to get me to marry him since I was 7 years old. A long time ago she stopped that. But about three months ago she made probably her first comment of that kind in around Seven years. I guess there are a few things she said. The first was pay attention to the people who are still here now. They're the people who always will be. They're the people who love you and not just what you can do for them. Which sort of set me off on the whole months long train of thought that led to this post. Then about a month ago, mom was a little more direct after James left. One evening she told me, baby, in all my years on this earth, I've never seen anyone love anybody like that boy loves you. I know you don't like it when I talk about this, but trust me, if you ever let him go again, you're gonna regret it forever. I don't know what has changed, but this time when she said that, I just knew she was right. Every relationship I've ever been in has had some problem or thing that has to be worked on. Most of them have several. The only thing missing here is that I don't feel a strong urge to rip his clothes off like I have with some. But honestly, not all or even most of the women I've been with. But even there it's different. In general, I find the idea of being with a man disgusting, but I don't find it disgusting with him. I like being touched by him and being close to him. He's so gentle lately I even find myself fixating on his lips and daydreaming about kissing him. I'm not that sexual of a person and I think overall of the people I've known in my life, I would be happier with him than with anyone else. And it isn't close now. The big problem is the cancer. Honestly, I'm not really on the fence about this anymore. If I survive, I want to be with him. I am getting better and the doctors are hopeful, but I'm not sure if I should tell him now or not. I want to tell him so bad. I want him to know how much I love him. Lovers have come and gone for both of us. But every time I close my eyes and think about times I've felt truly loved, understood and accepted, it's always his smiling face I see. When I think about times I felt warm and safe, it's his arms I feel wrapping around me like a warm blanket, just my size. His voice I hear saying, don't worry Amumu, it'll be all right, or cracking some silly joke. I want him to know that I want him with me by my side forever. There's nowhere I'd rather be than wherever he Is doing absolutely fucking anything. Cuddling up on the couch, making jokes about stupid movies, playing our favorite video games, Talking about life till 2am driving around in circles while he sings boy band songs like a goofball. I don't care, as long as he's there too. I want him to know that if I survive this, we'll be together. That's what I want. That's all I want. He's all I want. But I'm scared to tell him because I don't know what's going to happen if I don't make it. Would it have been kinder to just keep this to myself? If you were him and his position, would you want me to tell you how I feel? Whoa.

[C]

I say, not the asshole. Sorry.

[B]

We're losing it over here. We're fucking losing it.

[C]

That's incredible.

[B]

That's Eric. Look at you.

[C]

It's beautiful. It's beautiful.

[A]

Everyone behind the camera is crying.

[C]

Incredible.

[A]

Eric is. Is sobbing.

[C]

To be fair, the only reason I'm not is I. Oh, my God.

[B]

Everyone's sobbing.

[C]

Beautiful. The only reason I'm not is the.

[A]

Sound equipment is breaking apart. Cause Scott is sobbing onto it.

[C]

The only reason I'm not weeping is full disclosure. I have heard this before on one of those, like, I 21 female and my boyfriend 83.

[A]

Five.

[C]

Like that. Like TikTok. Whatever. Yeah, it's gorgeous.

[B]

How many episodes left in the season are there, like, how many updates? We're about to get fucking wrecked, guys. Whatever happens next is going to wreck the room.

[C]

I will say if there's a perspective shift, it's like, hi, James, writing here. That's when we're all gonna just explode.

[A]

We'll have to walk out.

[C]

Can you imagine?

[A]

I cannot handle a perspective shift. I've made it this far.

[C]

I don't even mean, like, something happens to her. I just. I'm just talking about, like.

[A]

Yeah, like.

[C]

Hey, guys, wanted to tell you how much I love. You know, it just.

[A]

Yeah. Cause it reminds me of the one where the dad was like, oh, I want to leave a message for my son. I was like, no, you. We don't need to do that. We don't need to do that.

[C]

Oliver. He's the bravest, coolest kid.

[A]

I'm like.

[B]

My favorite is watching you try to keep it together when you do stuff. When you're like. Like during that one meet and greet, and you're like, all right, man, let's take a picture.

[A]

Oh, when the devil was talking about how sweet it was to like, watch videos with his daughter. He's like, oh, it's such quality time. And I was like, you gotta stop it. We gotta take a picture.

[C]

We gotta take picture.

[A]

You gotta cut it out.

[C]

You're doing the dad thing of, like, clearing your throat and swallowing, where you're just like, well, that's. That's very nice to hear.

[A]

Yeah, very good. This is very sweet. I mean, okay, let's buckle the fuck up.

[B]

Here we go.

[A]

Let's fuckle the buck. Before we continue, any thoughts? Any what?

[B]

Do I have any thoughts on the great story? I don't know.

[A]

Do you want to say anything?

[B]

I have nothing to add.

[C]

I think they're both ducks.

[A]

All I was gonna say is the mom was talking like, oh, before you lose him, whatever. I'm like, I think you've got James by your side forever. I was like, I think that's my take is I'm like, sure, if you're feeling strongly about this. But I'm like, I think he's gonna be there for you no matter what.

[B]

Yeah, I'll say. My thoughts are that too. The mom's a bitch.

[C]

Well, she wasn't. She wasn't like. I don't know if the concern was that, like, oh, I'm gonna ruin the friendship. It's more like, if something goes south of my health, is it cruel to have done this Right?

[A]

I understand what she's saying there, but I was going back further that the mom was kind of being like, oh, you need to marry him. Cause you might lose some.

[B]

Like, hurry up, you're to lose it.

[A]

And it's like. It's like you guys are in each other's lives forever.

[C]

This is a love that transcends, like, infatuation and stuff.

[B]

But, you know, she's feeling that way. OP is feeling that way as well. Where OP is also, I think that's just no matter what, with feeling this extreme and this amazing, no matter what, the. The idea of losing it is there on the table.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

Like, and for op, it happens either medically or, like, just like, what if OP says her feelings? And then he's like, no, and it changes what's so beautiful? But we all know from what we know of James, nothing's fucking this up. But I understand the fear, of course.

[C]

It's valid for sure.

[A]

But I also think, like, Smosh reads Reddit stories is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. You chose to hit play on this podcast today. Smart Choice. Progressive loves to help people make smart choices. That's why they offer a tool called Auto Quote Explorer that allows you to compare your Progressive Car Insurance quote with rates from other companies so you save time on the research and can enjoy savings when you choose the best rate for you. Give it a try after this [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Not available in all states or situations. Prices vary based on how you buy back to the show. Let's do the 60 Second Savings Challenge. Step 1 Download Rocket Money. Step 2 Link your accounts and see every subscription you're paying for. Tap one you don't use and cancel it. That's money back every month. Step 3 Create a financial goal $50 every paycheck. Or let the app automatically move small amounts of cash. When you can afford it in a week, you'll forget you set it up. In a month, you'll see real dollars piling up. In a year, you'll be shocked at how much money you've saved. Bonus Challenge Upload an Internet or phone bill and let Rocket Money try to lower it. You only pay if they find you savings. On average, Rocket Money members can save up to $740 a year when using all of the app's premium features. Users love the app with over 186,000 five star ratings. Make saving money the resolution you actually keep. Start the 60 second savings [e-mail] cancel. That's rocketmoney.com cancel rocketmoney.com cancel.

[C]

I don't know. Hearing this, you never want to, like, speculate on someone's sexuality. Like, what someone says for themselves is true. Like, that's truth. But hearing her say, like, oh, I haven't really felt that much physical attraction for women either in any of the, you know, relationships I've been. It just hasn't really been there. I'm like, okay, well then maybe you're wired that, like, the emotional aspect is, is so much more important to you than anything else. Like, maybe there is hope for a romantic relationship. Not that they clearly love each other so damn much.

[A]

Yeah. Cause it's like, hey, you don't have to put yourself in any sort of box. Like, you know, like, your truth is your truth. But if you're feeling something, hey, the.

[B]

Best thing she's doing is not, like, shutting those feelings down.

[A]

Right.

[B]

She's like, even though they don't align with the box she originally is putting herself in, she's not letting that stop her.

[A]

So. Right. Yeah, absolutely.

[B]

She's doing everything great.

[A]

But I understand, like, it's gotta be confusing.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Scary. All right, got some comments here.

[B]

Okay. Unless it's from Nicholas Sparks. I don't want to hear Nicholas Sparks. Here.

[A]

Nicholas Sparks. Here.

[C]

You belong in my new movie.

[A]

You're the asshole. Your sexuality can be most women and James, it can be whatever you need it to be. I'm a James. Sexual James and James Taylor.

[B]

I like women and men named James.

[A]

Men named James. It can be whatever you need it to be. I saw a nice post from a woman who came to realize after many years of marriage to her male best friend that she was almost certainly a lesbian and wasn't attracted to men except for her husband, whom she continued to adore. Good luck in your romantic endeavors, op, and you're going to be beat that cancer. Someone said, everyone needs a James. He has been with you through everything and he has always had your back. Speak your mind and tell him everything. I wish you all the best. OP said, yes, I want to tell him. I'm just worried that if I tell him and then things take a turn for the worst again, then what will I have done to him? Someone said, tell him. I've seen some comments where you say you're worried if things go south, what that will do to him. What I'm about to say is with pure kindness and care, think of what it would do to him. To only find out after. You both deserve to be happy. Whether it's for one year or 50, doesn't matter. You both deserve it. OP said, I think this comment really hit me for some reason. Thank you. I'm going to tell him when he visits me tomorrow.

[B]

That comment did it.

[A]

That's the comment that did it.

[B]

No, but I agree. That's just crazy that we can comment on a Reddit post and change someone's behavior.

[C]

But I also think she was looking for permission, like, sorry for failing.

[A]

Totally. No. And I think that person put it in perspective.

[C]

Yeah, all she needed was a few people to be like, do it.

[B]

I'm bracing for impact. I'm ready for the update.

[C]

Can I tell you something as a friend with all the love in my heart? There's a part of your hair that looks creepy.

[B]

I don't care.

[C]

I'm just letting you know. Just letting you know.

[B]

I'm intentionally listening.

[A]

You're looking like how I look a lot of times in these Reddit stories episode.

[B]

Oh, no, you need to read. I don't know why we're talking about.

[A]

Anything else but James and OP Just a lot of times people post photos of me here and my hair looks ridiculous. I understand. It looks different every episode.

[B]

Guys, he's tired. He doesn't go home.

[A]

Yes, I'm tired. I'm reading.

[B]

Okay, let's go.

[C]

When he's done with this, he has to power the little hamster wheel that keeps the lights on.

[B]

You don't have to read the update. Let's talk about dinosaurs some more.

[A]

Okay? So shortcake. All right. Update.

[B]

Okay, here we go.

[A]

So tonight I told James. I told him everything. Gosh, I just wish I could relive this night over and over again. I've never been so happy. He came into my room this evening like he always does, greeted me, hello, how's my amumu doing today? I told him I was doing well. He told me I looked beautiful, which is not true, but it still felt so sincere. Then he started unpacking the stuff he brought me today. I asked him to stop and just come sit with me because I wanted to talk to him. He nodded and came and sat next to me. What's up? He asked. It took me a bit to gather myself. I kept getting distracted by his eyes. How he looks at me sometimes, I don't know how to describe it. I told him I love you and he just kind of laughed and touched my hand before casually responding, oh, I know that I love you too. In retrospect, this wasn't the best way to start. I guess since we've said that enough with a different understanding, that he didn't get what was happening. He started to get up again to unpack the snacks and I grabbed his arm and asked him to let me finish. He looked confused, but he nodded and sat back down. And then I did it. I told him everything. I told him about all the times in the past I'd thought about just marrying him despite my sexuality. I told him my favorite memories of him and how they make me feel. I told him he'd always been my best friend and the person I trusted the most. I told him I made a mistake and I should have chosen him. I then basically devolved into reciting the last paragraph of my first post to him. He's the face I see when I think about feeling the embrace I feel when I think about being safe. It doesn't matter what we do. If we're together, I'm happy and he's the only thing I want for the rest of my life. He basically froze. He said nothing, just looked at me as I spilled everything. I'm not sure he even blinked when I finished and looked up at him. He was sitting there like a statue with his mouth slightly open. Still enough, it was like he forgot to breathe. James always knows what to say, so this was a little unnerving to me. I started to ask him if everything was all right, but before I could finish, his expression broke. He exhaled into a weak but incredibly tender quivering smile and he just reached out and pulled me into a hug. I buried my head in his chest and his arms just wrapped around me. I just melted into him. He was so gentle. It felt so easy. It felt so right. Then he started crying and then I started crying. He's been coming here through two years of cancer treatment and never seen him cry until now. He held me for a while, but however long it was, it wasn't long enough. When he finally pulled away, his face was red from crying, but he just looked so happy. He looked at me for a bit. It was kind of cute because he had a little trouble maintaining eye contact, which he usually doesn't. He was like a little boy again. Then he finally looked right at me and he just said, you're the only thing I've ever wanted. Then I started crying again and he started crying again and he pulled me to him and he held me again. I wish it never ended. A little bit later, once we exhausted our crying capacity, I showed him the post. He made a few jokes about wanting to meet this James guy and about how he had better go and thank my mom for being his wing woman for 20 years. LOL. Then after he finished reading it, he kissed me. It felt easy, not scary at all and just right. He asked me if it lived up to the daydreams and I chuckled and said yes. Then he said I'm not so sure myself, I think I need more data and kissed me again. He is so ridiculous, but this was smooth as butter. Then after that we started talking and I guess he told me everything too. He said he'd loved me since we were little kids. Told me he still has every drawing lettercraft I ever made for him in a safe that he took with him to college and has taken everywhere else he's ever lived. He talked about the day I came out as gay to him and how he'd figured it out earlier but he struggled to accept it for months in secret because he had lived his entire life up to that point, assuming we would be a family and wanting nothing else. He told me he thought about our last night before college all the time and he kept hoping that entire night I'd say something before he left because then he'd have transferred colleges to stay with me. Told me he actually took a very long way home Just to prolong the time when we were holding hands and I was sleeping on his shoulder and that it was, to this day, his favorite memory. Then he looked at me with those piercing green eyes and said, for me, there has never been anyone else he loved once me, and then struggled through a bunch of rebounds. And even though he had learned to bury it and move on with life and was happy in our friendship, his heart had only ever belonged to me. Honestly, I guess I should have known this. My dad told me he was sure this was true, but I didn't listen. But I was flustered and deeply moved. We sat and talked and reminisced some more, mostly about when we were kids. I found out some things I never knew because he avoided telling me how romantic some things were for him after I came out. But I also kind of realized I think they felt romantic to me, too. Then I brought up the sex question, and oh, my God, it was the cutest shit ever. I barely got to say anything before he started tripping over himself, like, look, I don't even care. I don't need that. If we need mistresses or something, we can do that. It doesn't bother me. I just want to wake up with you every day. Which was sweet. But then I told him that even though I didn't know how that would go and I might not be able to, I wanted to try with him anyway, when I got better. And oh, my God, he turned tomato red and could barely look at me. Literally could not even manage to form a sentence in response. Just mumbled incoherently before managing to get out. Okay, if you're sure this man has been married and had six girlfriends, but he completely just falls all over himself at the thought. God, it was adorable. This is the only thing I'm still a little worried about, but I do want to try. I mean, I liked the kissing, which I thought was completely impossible. And I know that if it doesn't turn out well, it won't ruin anything and we'll still be together and just figure something else out for that one need. Then we talked about the cancer. He is so sure I'm gonna make it. It's so touching. It took a little while to get him to take the other possibility seriously. When I finally did and I told him that it's the reason I didn't tell him sooner, he held my hand and told me that if that happens, he'd be okay, because he'll always know that he was the one of the lucky ones because he was mine. I almost lost it. Then he said, if we don't have that much time left, we better make sure every minute counts. I said, that's pretty.

[B]

Sorry.

[A]

I'm only laughing because I'm hearing everyone in this room the full.

[B]

We'Re losing it. I wish you guys could see what we see.

[A]

Everyone's done. I think I'm only not crying cause I am driving this truck and my eyes are.

[B]

I need you to keep breathing.

[A]

Then he said, if we don't have that much time left, we better make sure every minute counts. I said, that's pretty hard to do in a hospital. And he replied, what do you mean? We're both here and that makes this the best place on earth. Dear God, what did I do to deserve this man? I teared up again and he held me one last time. Then the doctors came in, he kissed me good night. We both said I love you but it felt so different. It's never felt so good to say or hear those words. Then he smiled at me and left. I was so excited. The first thing I did was call mom and she was just ecstatic. I think she might be happier than me, which is saying something lol. As soon as I told her what happened and that James and I are together, she just started crying and talking about what a good boy he is. How she just knew this would happen and that she can rest easy now because she knows I will always be loved and taken care of. Plenty of her destiny talk, which is usually gets on my nerves. But honestly, I was so happy tonight. Fuck it. I'm on board. Maybe it was destiny. I guess sometimes mom really does know best. I feel like a teenager again. I never thought I'd feel this way in my life. I never imagined if I did, it would be for a man. God, I love him so much. Now I can't understand what I was ever worried about or why I didn't do this years ago. Thanks so much to everyone who read my story and helped give me the perspective and courage I needed to finally do what I should have done years ago. Now, as long as my health cooperates, I'll be one of the lucky ones too. Because I am his.

[B]

Good job, Shane. Top.

[A]

Update. Okay, so is that the last update? There's. Dang. So no more updates.

[C]

Let's just assume they live happily ever after.

[A]

I'm gonna assume that, yeah. I mean, as of this update, she was saying the doctors were hopeful and it was all looking good. So.

[B]

You did a great job.

[A]

Thanks.

[C]

You did a great job, Shane.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

What a great Episode. End of the episode.

[C]

That was awesome.

[A]

It really is so beautiful that, like, they're like, I mean, already off the bat just communicating all the difficult stuff.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, they're like, okay, in our first initial conversation, let's talk about the thing, like, the sex of it all. And they're like, we'll both do whatever we gotta do. That doesn't matter. It's just like, all right, this is.

[B]

The only medication that iPad has seen in years. 1.

[A]

James, this iPad's like, thank you.

[B]

I feel this iPad's like, whoa.

[C]

Angela, tell me if you specifically agree with this. This felt like a one act play that you would have to read in a, like, scene study class.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Like, they'd be like, all right, you're being assigned to Amumu and being assigned to James. And you guys are.

[A]

And the good actor.

[B]

Get the Act 3. Act 3.

[C]

Get this one. Yeah.

[A]

James is unreal.

[C]

James is just a giant peach. Sorry. I feel, like, emotionally drained from that.

[A]

In a good way. But I'm just like, oh, toast.

[B]

How do we get this to James? We're a YouTube channel. We can try.

[A]

James, if you're out there, we love you.

[B]

Please, come on. Dndl.

[C]

Yeah, you were really slick with some of those one liners.

[B]

You pick a show, man, and we will make it work.

[A]

James, we'll make you a rat on Bit City.

[B]

James, we'll bring you on for assumptions, partygoers. Just please.

[A]

James, have you ever played flip 7.

[C]

Where you are today?

[A]

Yeah, we're doing it now.

[B]

And we're all just like, not cool.

[A]

James Spencer has to show you Resident Evil.

[B]

And he comes in and we're like, so. Yeah, so here's the second chance card and dub.

[A]

We're all like, so starstruck.

[B]

It really touched me that someone in the face of that much uncertainty, felt like she could finally understand the destiny. Comments that her mom would make a lot. Or just like feeling like when you see someone who's kind of looking at the glass half empty, finally, like, have hope is like the most beautiful. And she got to see that from her mom. Like, she picked up on it. That is like. That was another layer to this that I was like, the way it brought her closer to her mom was so touching.

[C]

Yeah, the whole thing is flipping sweet. Just so sweet.

[A]

It's wild. Well, that's the end.

[B]

What an ep, eh?

[C]

When I think about how long that story was, though, when I think about, like, oh, there were kids and she was reading a book and where they talked about space, like that Seems like last week.

[A]

That was five other episodes.

[C]

That was five other episodes.

[A]

Yeah, that's true.

[C]

Which planet would you guys want to visit?

[B]

Whatever one James is on, probably.

[A]

Can we do moons?

[B]

Can we do moons?

[A]

What's that one moon of Jupiter that's got ice.

[C]

Oh, Europa. Europa, there we go. Europa what?

[B]

There are names of moons.

[A]

There's one that's got an ocean. And I'm just curious if there's some shit down there.

[C]

Yeah, there might be.

[A]

There might be some shit down there.

[B]

There might be some shit down there.

[A]

I think there's some shit down there. All right. Thank you guys for joining me today for this wholesome episode. Thank you for hanging through that.

[C]

Hey, no problem, man.

[A]

Thank you for all the tears shed in this room and thank you all at home.

[B]

And just when I thought, sometimes Eric behind the camera zones out. He doesn't.

[A]

He really doesn't.

[C]

He fails deeply. He's got an artist's heart.

[A]

All right, we'll see you next Saturday. Bye. This podcast is sponsored by IQ Bar. I've got good news and bad news. Here's the bad news. Most protein bars are packed with sugar and unpronounceable ingredients. The good news, There's a better option. I'm Will and I created IQ Bar plant protein bars to empower doers like you with clean, delicious, low sugar, brain and body fuel. IQ bars are packed with 12 grams of protein, brain nutrients like magnesium and Lion's Mane. And Zero Weird Stuff. And right now, you can get 20% off all IQ Bar products, plus free shipping. Try our delicious IQ Bar Sampler Pack with seven plant protein bars, four hydration mixes, and four enhanced coffee sticks. Clean ingredients, amazing taste, and you'll love how you feel. Refuel smarter, hydrate harder. Caffeinate larger with IQ Bar. Go to eatiqbar.com and enter code BAR20. To get 20% off all IQ Bar products, plus free shipping. Again, go to eatiqbar.com and Enter code BAR20.

[B]

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