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Host
What is Dadication?
Father
The thing that drives me every day as a dad is Dariona. We call him Day Date for short. Every day he's hungry for something, whether it's attention, affection, knowledge. And there's this huge responsibility in making sure that when he's no longer under my wing that he's a good person. I want him to be able to sit back one day and go, we worked together. We did a good job.
Host
That's dedication. Find out more@fatherhood.gov Brought to you by the U.S. department of Health and Human Services and the Ad Council.
Shane
Welcome to Smosh Reads Reddit Stories. I'm Shane, and today's theme is jealousy. And I'm joined by two people that I am jealous of.
Courtney
What? You have Courtney.
Shane
Just kidding.
Guest
Oh, they're jealous of me.
Courtney
Yeah, right. Exactly.
Shane
There it is. Jealousy. Are you guys jealous people? Do you ever deal with jealousy?
Guest
You go, I would. Okay, so I wanna say no. I do want to say no, but I have to say, yeah, just actually not with, like, wins and acting stuff. I'm really good about that. Like, I'm like, yay, I'm glad you got that. Even if I was up for the same part, I'm like, that I feel happiness instead of, like, I should have gotten it instead.
Shane
Sure, yeah.
Guest
What's the difference between envious and jealous?
Shane
Jealousy is the fear of losing something in a situation because of someone else, possibly. Whereas envy is going, oh, I wish I had what they had.
Courtney
Right.
Shane
I think in a lot of those situations, I don't think I'm the jealous type too much. I definitely have felt a lot of envy throughout my life. But I think that's very common in acting. Right. Cause we're in an industry where it's like, people Just get a role that you want and it's, you know, it's just an interesting career in that way. But jealousy in relationships, I don't think I ever really like, I'm not threatened by someone. Right. Cause I guess I've always had the thought of like if someone's gonna, you know, leave you or cheat on you or something, I'm like, there's nothing I can do about it.
Courtney
Like, you know, there are the moments where emotions feel like they're high and it's like, wait, I'm maybe threatened or feeling a little bit concerned. But then exactly that. That feeling of hold on if they are actually interested in somebody else or if they're even like going so far as to like pursue them. There's nothing really that I can do.
Shane
Jealousy definitely seems to pertain in relationships because your fear of losing your partner. Right, right. But envy seems to be more the case with anything career related.
Courtney
Yeah, I think so. Or just outside of romantic relationships.
Shane
Okay, here we go. Our first story comes from relationship advice. Okay, this is a 37 year old man writing in why is my wife 30 year old woman jealous that my ex wife has found love? I don't know what else to add to the title. My wife is kind of obsessed stalking and following my ex wife since she told us that she was engaged. Apparently my ex has been seeing this guy for a while, but since, since she's a mom, she didn't want to make it official until everything is serious so as not to confuse the children. My wife is in shock and her first reaction to the news is who is this loser then? But the new guy seems really nice. And instead of being glad that at least her stepchildren would have a good man in their mother's life, my wife is very irritated and angry. I would even say jealous. She isn't following my ex on Instagram so she can't follow the relationship. So she sent the new guy a follow request. I confronted her and she denied being jealous or obsessive. I told her that we should be happy since my children will have to live with this man and it is a good thing that he is good to their mother and that she's in a happy relationship. It benefits everyone. She asked me who in his right mind would want her. I was surprised because why would she not think any human, let alone someone like my ex, is worth love? I told her probably plenty would because she is a kind and pleasant person. All hell broke loose and she started calling my ex names. Can anyone help me out here?
Guest
This Is interesting. Yeah, this is interesting. My first inclination is like, I wanna know what the other guy's deal is. Like, if. Okay, let me explain this.
Courtney
Let's hear it.
Guest
If he's hotter or more successful, I'd be like, fuck, she went up, she upgraded, and I'm stuck with the schlub that's my husband. No, that's my inclination.
Courtney
Sure.
Shane
Just.
Guest
Cause it's in jealousy. So I'm like looking at a lens through jealousy. She's like. And maybe she knows stories about her hurting the husband, so she just wants the worst for her.
Courtney
Sure, maybe.
Shane
Yeah.
Courtney
It could be that. Almost like a sort of like protectiveness in a way, or anger off of whatever happened between their relationship. I am suspecting that a lot of these stories are going to be related to insecurity.
Shane
Oh, totally.
Courtney
You know, which a lot of that derives from. It's like. Cause people that are completely content and at peace with themselves are. Are so often not jealous of other people or envious because they are like, at peace and they're good. And it seems like this situation kind of screams to me like, she is maybe not super happy or she feels like she has to win and so she's in competition with this ex wife. And now that the ex wife has found happiness, she's not happy with it and is reacting in some sort of way of like, no, she can't have this. And I love the point of like the husband being happy because his kids are gonna get another great figure in their life. That makes so much sense. But she, for some reason isn't able to see that because she's caught up in her own tiff with this ex wife who again, there's definitely a lot of context missing.
Shane
Yeah, it's interesting. Cause I hear about people being jealous of their ex or caring about their ex's life, but it's interesting that she is obsessed with her partner's ex.
Guest
Yeah, that's weird.
Shane
That's a lot. Assuming a lot of time has had to have passed by this point. I mean, she's clearly comparing herself to his ex. And maybe it's that the ex is doing so well. Maybe she's worried that he'll see how well she's doing. It seems that all hell broke loose once he said, no. She's a kind and pleasant person.
Courtney
Right.
Shane
It's like, oh, his ex has her life together and so she's doing really well. So she's maybe like, oh, no, will this make him want her more now that she's with someone else? Maybe kind of that type of thinking.
Courtney
Totally. Totally.
Shane
Again, because maybe that would be her logic.
Courtney
Yeah.
Shane
So she's putting her logic in his. She's definitely insecure.
Courtney
Oof.
Guest
When I start talking to a boy, I'm gonna look up every ex you've ever had.
Shane
Really?
Guest
I'm gonna look him up and I'm gonna. Yeah. On LinkedIn, on Instagram. Like, I wanna know everything interesting.
Courtney
I guess for me, it's kind of like a. It's like the pain that I wanna feel, you know, I want to hurt today. Yeah, I wanna hurt myself. Tell me how you guys met. You know, and it's like it hurts, but I wanna know.
Shane
I get that.
Courtney
So I think for me, it's in a way, kind. I don't think I obsess over it in that way. Cause I also try to just be like, that was a different time and space and almost everybody has exes. And so when I put myself in the shoes of my partner and then I think of my ex, I'm just kind of like, wait, there's no competition there. I'm not thinking about my ex like that.
Shane
I guess what's tough with this one is they have kids, so it's not like she's completely out of his life. Yeah, they do probably see each other. They're both parents to the same children. That adds another element. But you still. I mean, come on, you have no choice but to kind of get over it or you can't be in this relationship if this is gonna eat at you like this. Yeah, it seems.
Courtney
I bet she thinks of the kids a lot in the way of like, that's a leg up that that woman has on me.
Guest
Oh, I didn't even think about that.
Shane
Comments on this in her head. Your ex wife is a hag that couldn't keep her husband. She thinks she's the upgrade. Someone falling in love with and committing to your ex doesn't fit her narrative. Your ex was meant old and alone in her mind. Your new wife isn't a good person. Someone said if this is true, this is wild behavior. You seem healthy and well adjusted at least. The only thing I can think of is if she has some irrational need to feel superior to your ex wife. Maybe she is in constant competition with her. Someone said Op commented that his wife was a colleague at the time of his divorce. He fell out of love with his ex and in love with her, but didn't consider the relationship cheating because it wasn't physical. Op's wife played the long game, but has been in competition with his ex the entire time. And Op noticed it's been a feather in her cap since she won him. And now that the ex moved on, she has to know that she got the better man.
Courtney
Yep.
Shane
Someone said my immediate thought when reading this was Op's wife was the other woman. Good to know that my instincts are correct.
Courtney
Ooh, yes. I was thinking that.
Shane
That's an interesting element. I did not think about that.
Guest
Wait, what?
Shane
So op's wife, the 30 year old woman who's jealous in this story, she was the other woman. So he basically kind of cheated on his ex wife with her. It's sounding like, like an emotional affair with her. So now that the ex wife has moved on and stuff, she's like, I'm not winning anymore. Like, I won, but totally.
Guest
So it's also like that weird. Not fetish, but it's just like that weird. Like some people like the danger of it and when the danger is gone. When I'm not the other woman. When I'm the woman.
Shane
Yeah. Or the power of it all.
Guest
Sorry, not I shouldn't say woman. When I'm the other person in the relationship, sure, it's not the primary partner.
Courtney
But that makes so much sense. It's like it began as this like, chase of like, oh, I need him to choose me outside of his marriage. And now that he's done that, there's this again, like, whole story that she's built up in her head.
Shane
It makes me question how long this relationship has been going on. You know, if it's only been a year or so. She's his affair partner. This has all happened, but now it's like, okay, well now it's, now you're just in a relationship and now it's not exciting to her anymore, so she's gonna move on, probably cheat on him to someone else.
Courtney
And finding that thrill in stalking the ex.
Shane
Yup.
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Host
What is Dedication?
Father
The thing that drives me every day as a dad is Dariona. We call him Day Date for short. Every day he's hungry for something, whether it's attention, affection, knowledge, and there's this huge responsibility in making sure that when he's no longer under my wing that he's a good person. I want him to be able to sit back one day and go, we worked together. We did a good job.
Host
That's dedication. Find out more@fatherhood.gov brought to you by the U.S. department of Health and Human Services and the Ad Council.
Advertiser
You just realized your business needed to hire someone yesterday. How can you find amazing candidates fast? Easy. Just use Indeed. Stop struggling to get your job posts seen on other job sites with Indeed sponsored jobs. Your post jumps to the top of the page for your relevant candidates so you can reach the people you want faster. According to Indeed data, Sponsored jobs posted directly on indeed have 45% more applications than non sponsored jobs. Don't wait any longer. Speed up your hiring right now with Indeed and listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit. To get your jobs more visibility at indeed.comkidsandfamily just go to indeed.comkidsandfamily right now and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Hiring Indeed is all you need.
Host
What is Daddication?
Father
The thing that drives me every day as a dad is Dariana. We call him Day Date for short. Every day he's hungry for something, whether it's attention, affection, knowledge. And there's this huge responsibility in making sure that when he's no longer under my wing that he's a good person. I want him to be able to sit back one day and go, we worked together. We did a good job.
Host
That's Dadication. Find out more@fatherhood.gov brought to you by the U.S. department of Health and Human Services and the Ad Council.
Shane
Back to the show. Okay, our next story. This comes from True Off My chest. I was once again left out of my daughter's birthday pictures, and I'm done talking to my husband about it.
Guest
Oh.
Courtney
Oh no.
Guest
This is sad.
Shane
Pretty much. As the title says, my daughter turned five in the middle of last week, but yesterday we had her birthday party. We had it at the local trampoline park, since that's her favorite place right now. Because of my husband's work schedule I did the majority of the planning. He did contribute financially, but I planned the theme, made the party reservation, ordered the cake, made the party favors, et cetera. My daughter is a huge daddy's girl and thus he is the favorite parent. She's only five, so I don't hold it against her by any means, but it still definitely hurts. For health reasons, I can't jump with my daughter, but my husband was. They both had a great time and so did the other kids that were there. But just like previous years, I'm the one behind the camera. I take all the pictures every year and I'm not in any of them. I've spoken to my husband about my feelings before, but all I get are empty promises of how he will do better. Last year we rented a room at the local conference center for her party and I asked my grandmother to take pictures of me and my husband holding our child while we sang Happy Birthday and cut the cake. Instead of pictures, she took a video and once again, no pictures of me. Call me old fashioned, but I like printing pictures for photo albums and I can't exactly print off a video. So another year of no pictures. After yesterday's party, we decided to take her gifts home rather than open them at the party. The kids had a very limited time at the park, so rather than spend 20 minutes opening presents, we figured it would be better to take them home and open them there so the kids had more time to play. Even while opening presents, I was behind the camera. My husband didn't think once that I should be in any of them. I. By the end of the day I was very upset and I'll give my husband credit for knowing where I am. But then again, I wasn't really hiding it. I went to say goodnight to my daughter because I had to be up early the next day. He followed me to talk to me. He said, what's wrong? What did I do? I just looked at him and said, it's what you didn't do. For the third year in a row. I went to the bedroom and he didn't follow me. I'm just done. I'm so sick of his empty promises of doing better. Besides little things like this, he's a good husband and an amazing father. But it genuinely feels like there are times when he doesn't think about me at all. And if anyone thinks, well, why don't you just ask him to take pictures? I shouldn't have to. I'd like to think that my husband would want pictures of me and our child together. The Last picture I remember him taking of me and our daughter was in a restaurant on my 29th birthday, and I asked him to take it. I'm so tired of this. At any time, I could get sick or be in an accident and die. And the only pictures my daughter will have of me will be selfies I've taken none of me on her birthdays or even holidays because of our crazy schedules. I won't see my husband again until next Sunday unless he stays up all night to see me in the AM which he sometimes does. Part of me wants to text him and lay it all out again, but the majority of my thoughts is to just give up on it. I told my husband it's the third year in a row, but it's probably been more than that. I don't recall seeing any pictures of me and her on her birthday or me even being in the background. I'm just so hurt and tired of it. Thanks for reading.
Guest
I'm like, okay, pull yourself together.
Shane
What?
Courtney
Yeah, I think I've got it.
Shane
I think I see a lot of elements of this. Cause clearly it hurts her. She tells him after the fact, every birthday of, like, can you get photos of me? And he's like, oh, yeah, for sure. I will next year, 365 days from now. And then he doesn't. And it just sounds like he's a little, like, just not the type to think about it. But I also understand she's hurt that she's like, I don't want to have to ask. I want you to care for me and take photos of me because you know how important this is to me. But you're not doing it. However, out of all this, she's talking about, like, it seems like in her quest to prove a point to him, that she's correct and she's not getting photos with her daughter on her birthday. And that matters to her so much. It sounds like she's giving up a little quickly. Like, the grandma took a video. It's like, okay, you got a video. She could have just handed the phone back and been like, can you also get some photos?
Courtney
Right?
Shane
This one I think about a lot. Cause in my family, my mom loves photos. And the majority of my family, otherwise, we just don't take photos.
Guest
Yeah, right.
Shane
Like, I'm really bad with taking photos. My brothers are too. Like, we just don't think about it. But my mom is just like, okay, we're getting a photo. First thing we're doing when we all get together on Sunday, we're getting a Photo. And it's like, all right, okay, we'll get a photo. All right. We're doing matters to her and we know that, so we're gonna do that.
Courtney
And that part of it just truly cracks me up that she finally was like, okay, grandma, here, you take the photo. And then grandma hands it back and she goes, it's a video.
Shane
I do think she's doing a little bit of the martyrdom here where she' well, I guess I just won't be in any photos. It's like, hey, I understand it sucks. I'm not disregarding that your husband should be taking photos of you and your daughter. He needs to realize it's important to you and it should also be important to him to have photos of you. I agree with that. But giving up and being like, well, I guess there just won't be any photos of me when I die. It's like, okay, well, that sucks for you too. Don't self sacrifice because your husband's forgetting this.
Courtney
Yeah, it's. It's clear to me that there is a hypersensitivity toward her taking photos. And we don't know where that comes from. But she's clearly finding great value and importance in this. And for that I understand.
Guest
And I feel like the more she, she's in a prison of her own making, like the more she pours into this idea, she's like purposely making it harder. She's like looking at all the ways that he will mess up. Yeah, she's looking for ways that he's going to fail. Well, if you start filtering the world in, how is this going to happen? It's going to start happening the way you want it to happen. If I'm looking for all the ways, how is he really doing? Well, how is he being a really good husband? If she filters through that, she's gonna start seeing all the ways that he's coming through for her and thinking about her.
Courtney
And it feels like she even like wrote some of that.
Shane
Right.
Courtney
Like she talked about him like staying up all night to see her, like he sometimes does. I'm like, that's incredible.
Shane
There's stories where it's like, it's not about, I can tell your husband or the wife is doing a bunch of disrespect across the board.
Courtney
Uh huh.
Shane
And here's an instance where it's the tipping point. This doesn't read like that. This reads like they are in a marriage that they don't want to get out of. It's this one thing that she is just so mad about 100%. Because otherwise she's not saying he sucks all the time. She's like, this one thing I want him to do, and he's not doing it.
Courtney
But I think I can be empathetic toward the idea that it is so crucial to her.
Guest
Totally.
Courtney
It's kind of. It seems silly to be like, I want him to just want photos of us. You can't really control people like that. And you can't be like, well, why don't you want that? But what you can do is communicate and be like, this is really important to me.
Shane
Right.
Courtney
And it is important that he learns that. As you were saying.
Shane
Yeah. I think there's. I think how she's going about this is, like, not the right way.
Courtney
Totally.
Shane
It's like, okay, get the photos. You want these photos? Get them. If you have to do it yourself, you have to do it yourself. And then after the fact, though, tell him. Be like, it really hurts me when you don't, like, take photos, like, communicate that.
Guest
I just feel like she's not being vigilant enough about getting the photos in the first place.
Shane
Just tell him, I know.
Guest
Frank, can you come take a photo of me and our daughter?
Courtney
Yeah.
Shane
Unfortunately, the way this is written, the way she's, like, talking about this, it makes me wonder how she's communicating this day. Is it communicating? And, I mean, you do have to be very straightforward with people, depending on the person. But you have to go and go, hey, it would mean so much to me if you take photos of me without me asking. It hurts me when you don't take photos. Cause it makes me feel invisible and makes me feel like, you're not thinking about me. Instead of. It could be, like, delivered, as in, wow, it really sucks. I guess I don't have any photos of myself this year.
Courtney
Again, rooted in that sort of bitterness and resentment of not having the photos.
Shane
Cause some people just do not pick up on things. Cause she might say that. And he goes, oh, that sucks.
Guest
Yeah.
Shane
Yeah, I'll make sure next year I get some photos.
Courtney
And it's a quick next year rolls around.
Shane
He's just at the trampoline place, not thinking.
Courtney
Right. Right.
Guest
He's jumping on trampolines.
Shane
Like, I think this is also, like, it brings up, like, love languages and stuff. And clearly, like, I think acts of service matter to her. And they may not matter. They may not be something he thinks about with him. My love language is photosy.
Courtney
I want photos.
Shane
I did the test. My love language is selfies.
Courtney
No, not the selfies Those aren't enough. She has those.
Shane
But, you know, he's staying up all night. She says he stays up all night sometimes to see me.
Courtney
Yeah.
Shane
And it's like, so quality time might matter to him. And like I said, she's not writing this like, I hate my husband.
Guest
He sucks.
Courtney
Yeah.
Shane
It's this one thing.
Courtney
Yeah.
Shane
Comments on this. Your feelings are valid, but you kind of cut off your nose to spite your face here. You should have insisted on some photos. Sure, you should not have to ask, but the end result is no photos and you can't take that back. Someone else said, yeah, it truly sucks to have to outright ask your partner to do something that you are already doing for them. But I've discussed this with my therapist before, and for things like this, sometimes the only way to actually get what you want is to be direct. If it was me, I'd stop my. So during the party, hand him my phone, and directly tell him to take some photos of me and my child together. I totally get Op's frustration, but it's better she be direct and ask than miss out on any more photos with her child because her husband doesn't take the initiative. Someone else said, this absolutely sucks and your husband needs to be better. I will suggest taking screenshots from the video of you and your daughter and printing them out. A lot of times videos actually look better photo wise. I hope your husband starts respecting you more. Op said, thank you. I'll try to do that later. Hopefully the quality is good enough for me to get a couple of pictures.
Courtney
I don't know about this quality being the video.
Guest
The video picture.
Courtney
I think grandma got on there and.
Shane
Commented, we don't know what grandma's like. She was filming it. It was in 0.5 too. There's the element too, of like the possible jealousy of like, the daughter really seemed to be a daddy's girl and I can just spend time with the daughter.
Courtney
No, I forgot about the theme of the.
Shane
I just feel like I understand.
Guest
I forgot about the theme too.
Courtney
I forgot it was jealousy, so. You're absolutely right. Good one, Shane. Hey.
Shane
That's all I got. There's also probably jealousy there.
Courtney
Yeah, yeah.
Shane
But I mean, well, what she's also is jealous of just there's all these photos and I'm not in the photos, but I understand what she wants and I've done it before where it's like, yeah, you screw yourself over in the hopes that it's like, well, they're gonna learn their lesson eventually. They're gonna Go, oh man, we don't have any photos of you and be like, yeah. Cause you never took them.
Courtney
Right?
Shane
And now you learned your lesson. It's like, cool. Well, you're not in any photos in the process of this too. So yes.
Courtney
It's like you think you're gonna have this huge impact because of your feelings. It's like when you're mad at someone and you just kind of shut down. You're like, you don't actually deserve my personality anymore. And it's like you're just doing that to yourself and now you're just upset and everyone else is kind of like, what's going on with you?
Shane
Right.
Courtney
Yeah.
Shane
Update. Before I dive into the update, there are some comments that were made that I want to address. Many pointed out that my husband is probably just someone who wants to live in the moment, and I 100% agree. The biggest reason I was hurt was because of how many times I have spoken to him about my feelings and his constant promises to do better.
Guest
Yeah.
Shane
However, like many said, he probably just doesn't think about it at the time. I don't think he does it on purpose or doesn't do it out of spite. He's probably having too much fun with our daughter and forgets and I shouldn't have let it get to me too much. I still think I should have to ask, but we clearly have different views when it comes to special occasions. He wants to live in the moment and I want to preserve the moments. With that said, please know that I don't constantly have a camera in my hand. I just use my phone to snap pictures. Every so often I put the phone down so I can enjoy my daughter's parties and family gatherings too. I just wanted him to do the same for me. On occasion, many have said to just take selfies of me and her, and I do take a lot of them. I would just like pictures others have taken as well. Or even just pictures of me there where I'm not necessarily posing, just pictures of me playing with her or hanging out at the party with family and friends. Many suggested hiring a photographer.
Guest
That's what I was about to say. I was like, why don't we just hire it?
Shane
But that's not something we can really afford. But hopefully with our talk, we won't even need to consider it. Anyway, onto the update. My husband and I spoke last night. When I don't have work the next day, I stay up late so I can spend some time with him and I wanted us to finally talk when he came home, we sat down. He says he still didn't fully understand what he did wrong and I told him again how I wasn't in any pictures and how I have talked to him about this many times. I did say that I understand he was someone who lives more in the moment and but I just wanted to have proof that I was there too, that I was present at her parties and for her to have memories of me there. Our daughter is only five and she won't remember her parties or holidays from when she was younger. As she gets older I know she will know I was there, but I also want her to see me in her younger years as she grows up. There were some tears and we apologized to each other. He promised again to do better but I'm not gonna lie, I'll believe it when I see it as he said that before lol. And I promise to be more understanding of his values going forward. I'll ask family and friends to help take pictures so there are also more photos to save and not just mine. And yes, as many said, there will be times where I just flat out ask him to take pictures. Thank you again to everyone who commented on my last post. I appreciate the support and also the comments that made some great points about how each of us have different perspectives and I need to be more understanding of his values and not just mine.
Courtney
Wonderful. I think that's great.
Shane
That was perfect.
Courtney
I truly, I think she is valid in what she's feeling and I just think that it's different priorities. I'm so glad that they had that conversation. That sounds like a really heartfelt and productive moment for them.
Shane
Yeah, they talked and I will say.
Guest
About the hiring a photographer, like just hand the phone. Can you help me for two minutes? Can you take a couple candid photos?
Advertiser
For sure.
Courtney
And Grandma didn't?
Shane
No, no, no. Why are you giving it to Grandma?
Guest
Don't give the phone to grandma.
Courtney
She's like I got it.
Shane
I don't know what your if you need photos taken, do not hand it to an.
Courtney
What?
Shane
Do it.
Courtney
No, literally. Cause then they go, it's a video.
Shane
You're truly better off handing it to a five year old. Like hand it to anyone but the old lady.
Courtney
Right?
Shane
Oh my God.
Courtney
Crazy.
Shane
Even though you could also get some really funny photos and content out of that.
Courtney
There's plenty of stuff.
Shane
But if you want some genuinely good photos, hand it to a younger person.
Guest
Yeah.
Courtney
Or the timer feature. Anybody.
Guest
Boom.
Shane
But she didn't want selfies. She wanted unpo. She wanted in. She wanted Candid.
Courtney
No, no, no, no. Timers aren't selfies, Shane. Let me teach you right here. You gotta set it up and the three seconds or the 10 seconds.
Shane
I know, but it's still a posed picture. She wants people taking photos of her while she's unaware.
Guest
Oh, that's what candid is.
Courtney
Oh, that's what she wants.
Shane
She said that in there? Like, I don't want just posed. I want some. I see, I see. She wants it happening while she's not naturally.
Courtney
Gotcha, Gotcha.
Shane
And I get that. Cause those are, like, genuine moments. Candidates are so good.
Courtney
Great, great, great.
Shane
I definitely feel bad. Cause Courtney is someone who takes tons of, like, candid photos. She does. She's very good about it, and I'm horrible about it. I don't think about pulling out my phone to take photos, and I feel really bad. So sometimes when I do, I'm like, oh, I feel bad she doesn't have as many. Cause she takes tons of candid photos of me. I feel like the majority of photos of me are on Courtney's phone.
Courtney
Right.
Shane
Because I don't even take photos of myself ever.
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Shane
Back to the show. Our next story comes from. Am I the asshole? Am I the asshole for calling my sister a jealous hag because she got judgy over my husband making me an Easter basket? I believe as of this airing, Easter is tomorrow.
Guest
So he has not risen.
Shane
He has not rised yet.
Courtney
He has not.
Shane
My husband and I do Easter baskets for one another, and this year he gave me mine early since I'll be gone. In the basket was the usual dark chocolate bunny, starburst jelly beans, and then some swifty stuff from Etsy, a fidget toy. And really surprisingly, he got me three full bottles of perfume that were on my wish list.
Guest
Oh my God.
Shane
Cutie Hundred silent ways. Bianco, latte and Oriana. I was shocked because that's a big spend. I was over the moon and took a pic and posted it to my Insta story. The next day my sister came over. I had left my basket on the table and she poked through it and took some jelly beans and then made a comment asking me if my husband had stepped out on me or something and was trying to make it up to me. I was like no, of course not. Why would she say that? She asked why he'd go all out like this then and how it must be nice to have all this extra money to spend when everyone around us is struggling. Oh, it must be nice to have such a picture perfect marriage. I was really taken aback and asked her what her issue is. She was like most women I know can't even get their husbands to fill a Christmas stocking for them and you're out here bragging about yours and shoving it in everyone's faces. I'll be lucky if I get a card on my birthday. I told her to stop blaming me because she chose to marry a thoughtless man.
Guest
Oh no, that's an overstep that she.
Shane
Had the choice to marry someone who did nice things for her and she chose to marry a man who doesn't help around the house, buy her flowers, et cetera and not be a pissy jealous hag because she chose to settle for less.
Guest
Oh no.
Courtney
Oh yes.
Shane
This set her off and she started arguing with me more, telling me that I'm fucked up for calling her a jealous hag when there's nothing to be jealous of. More like embarrassed that it's 2024 and I'm acting like life is a rom com, that the fact that I even listened to Taylor Swift is proof that I need to grow up. I told her to just get out and double down on her being a pissy jealous hag. Now that I'm on the other side of the country for worse, I feel like maybe I was over the top in calling her a jealous hag. You're just jealous is the most annoying comeback in the world and I used it on my own sister. She also typically texts me throughout her day and she hasn't sent me anything since then, which means she is definitely still pissed. Am I the asshole?
Courtney
No, she's a jealous hag.
Guest
You didn't need hag.
Courtney
You didn't need hag. I'm sorry, she was being a jealous hag.
Guest
She was being Jealous that I didn't get hag.
Courtney
I was getting pissy though.
Shane
Hags can be extremely powerful.
Guest
Yes. They're curses.
Shane
They're curses. They can be very powerful. They're formidable opponents.
Courtney
It was a compliment, actually.
Shane
I meant it as a compliment.
Courtney
I was trying to say something nice.
Shane
I meant that you're cursed. That's such a wild statement to see a really kind gift and be like, so, did he cheat on you?
Guest
Yeah.
Shane
What? Damn, bro.
Guest
And also, what if life was a rom com?
Courtney
Right? And. Sorry, was life a rom com? And now it's not because it's 2024. What does that mean?
Shane
Yeah, I'm not saying she's wrong or not, but if someone said something of that, especially like a brother or sister, they said all of that shit of that nature, I think my response would be like, is everything okay?
Courtney
Right?
Shane
Like, did your husband cheat on you? Like, whoa. I'm feeling some projection here. Damn.
Courtney
Well, she can't even get a birthday card is what she said, so clearly she's unhappy.
Shane
Damn.
Courtney
She's 100% projecting. And yes, maybe not a hag, but 100% jealous.
Shane
Yeah. I mean, she is being jealous. Right, Right. Or anything. Yes, yes, absolutely. In this situation. And she's saying really mean things 100% out of thin air where it's not necessary at all. I also, I can understand the hag if this is a series of a pattern.
Guest
Okay.
Shane
If she's probably been dealing with this for. This is her sister. They text all day, every day. She's saying, this has probably been behavior that's been going on for a long time. Yeah. Then that happens.
Guest
Didn't she say it was older or younger?
Shane
I'm assuming older. Cause she's a hag.
Guest
Yes.
Courtney
Oh, I was assuming younger because she was acting like a hag.
Shane
She's acting like a hag. I don't actually know. It doesn't say.
Guest
But just with the power dynamic, I guess it goes either way too.
Shane
I guess my thought always is with like, with siblings, especially sisters. Sisters is. I'm like, okay, I'm not. It doesn't matter necessarily to me if you're an asshole or not. It's just like, what do you want to happen? Because by calling your sister a hag, you're. It can't just end there. You got. If this is someone you're. If you're planning on cutting her out of your life, you can say whatever you want to her. But if you guys are gonna maintain a relationship for the rest of your life, like, you're gonna have to resolve every argument and everything you say to each other. So, like, are you trying to make the situation more intense or are you trying to like. Yeah, that's why I'm not saying she's wrong for calling her a hag as much as I'm like, eventually, do you want your sister to not be this way to you? So I, like, call her out on that behavior. Calling her out on her behavior is totally warranted. But also being like, why are you saying that?
Courtney
Saying these things, it certainly seems like a quick response. Right. She was obviously just reacting out of anger, of course, because clearly her sister threw the first punch, so to speak. She immediately saw this basket. What I'm getting from it is that she was like, oh, my gosh. Like, I wish my husband would do something like this. Like, he would never. And is sort of like, well, I need to protect myself and convince myself that this isn't what I want by being like, ew, who would want this? And bring her sister down? Which affected her sister, obviously, and made her be like, why aren't you supporting me, you pissy, jealous hag? And jumped in there and kind of attacked her like that. And clearly it seems like she's not a bad person. She's, like, feeling regret for saying that stuff. She's guilty, of course, but she was being jealous. And I think she did deserve to be called out on that front.
Guest
Definitely.
Shane
Absolutely. I do think in these situations, when someone's acting irrationally or saying really jealous things or really, like, cruel or just, like, out of pocket stuff, I do think questions disarm the situation so much better. And I think you can still get that satisfaction of kind of like, if you want to dunk on them, you can still get it by just throwing a question back at them. It's just like, sometimes it's as simple as, like, why would you say something like that?
Courtney
That's brilliant.
Shane
And then it's just like, well, I don't know, Ben. I can't get my husband to do this. It's like. It's like, why do you think that is? If you ask these questions, she's gonna have to admit she's already kind of admitting her situation sucks. But the verdict was not the asshole comments. Not the asshole for calling her out on her jealousy, as she was the one who made an issue where one didn't exist and then attacked you by trying to say that your taste in music made you immature. Different people have different budgets and therefore different lifestyles. That's just the way things are where you are kind of the asshole is when you commented on her relationship with her husband. Is the guy truly thoughtless, or did you just irrationally lash out because your sister was being aggressive? If she and her husband can't afford lavish gifts, that doesn't mean that what they do get is any less meaningful. That's also true. She was also like, oh, it's not my fault you married a thoughtless man.
Courtney
Which was fire.
Shane
Look, if I'm watching Bridgerton, I'm like, hell, yeah.
Courtney
You're like, yeah, you. Wait.
Shane
I feel like asking questions. I feel like she was already saying that. Like, she's offended by you saying, like, confirming what she was already saying. She's like, I can't get my husband to do this. It's like, well, you married a thoughtless guy. It's like, how dare you?
Courtney
Right?
Shane
Yeah, that's what you just said.
Courtney
Yeah, but that is literally what you just said. That is a fair argument, though, that, like, that's just assuming. Like, just because he's not giving you gifts doesn't mean that he's a bad husband. There's clearly, hopefully, other qualities that are redeemable in that.
Shane
Of course.
Guest
And it goes back to love languages, too.
Shane
Op responded to that, saying, hi. I wanted to respond to this because I want to make it clear that I don't say these things because he isn't spending tons of money on lavish gifts for her. I get why there's hesitance over me naming the perfumes, but I thought it would be useful context. I hope my explanation helps. It's not about the money, but about the effort and attention. My sister's husband does not pay attention to what she likes or dislikes in terms of gifts. If he even remembers to get her things, he gives her very generic things that he probably finds lists of 30 gifts for wives. And it's often stuff she doesn't like. She has complained about it for years and nothing ever changes because at his core, he doesn't care. She will go out of her way to make stockings for him and the kids, but she doesn't get that effort returned. Aw.
Courtney
She heard us and said, no, he sucks.
Shane
No, I'm sorry. He's a piece of shit.
Courtney
Yeah.
Shane
Someone else asked. Easter baskets for adults. Never heard of it. No shade. Op says, I don't think it's that common, but my mom always did it for my dad, and they have a really good and fun marriage. It's always been just really silly stuff dressed up in the old baskets. We have one year My mom didn't realize when Easter was and ended up giving my dad stuff from the pantry he forgot about. And he was over the moon because he didn't know we had beef jerky left. Lol.
Courtney
That's so sweet.
Shane
That's very sweet.
Courtney
Yeah. Please say update.
Shane
No update. I don't think there's much.
Guest
There's not much to update like.
Courtney
Well, I want to know if the sister's like, bitch coming back.
Shane
You know, the sister needs to realize the villain here is her husband.
Courtney
That's juicy.
Shane
It is the case. The sister's getting mad at op, but the real problem is her husband is a piece of shit.
Guest
Is he a piece of shit?
Shane
That's what the OP was. Just like, he's not really thinking about her at all.
Courtney
Well. Cause he's the Easter bunny. He has Easter to think about.
Guest
There you go. He's got a bunch of eggs to deliver up in that basket.
Courtney
Bet you didn't think about that.
Guest
That he dated.
Shane
Okay, our next story comes from relationship advice. I, a 28 year old man, am considering leaving my girlfriend, who's 29, after she catfished me as a prank.
Guest
Oh. Oh, okay. I'm kind of in.
Courtney
I'm very much in. Yeah, I know.
Shane
Okay, so op's girlfriend catfished him as a prank?
Courtney
Yeah.
Shane
Me and my girlfriend have been together for two years. I've always thought she was very sweet and kind and I really appreciate how much she loves me. And while she sometimes got a little jealous, I didn't think it was a big deal. Hell, maybe I even enjoyed being doted on like that. It made me feel really attractive, which I never really felt I was. Recently we attended a work event organized by my company and we met one of my co workers there. She works at a different branch and we hardly ever talk outside of work emails and calls, but we get along well enough. This event was my girlfriend's first and only time meeting this co worker. On the way back from the event and the following day, my girlfriend was acting a little weird. She kept asking me about a work wife and asking if I thought that co worker was pretty and other stuff about her. I knew my girlfriend could get kind of jealous and I did my best to calm her down. No, that woman isn't my work wife. I don't follow her on any socials. I don't even have her personal phone number. I don't think she's more beautiful than my girlfriend. And I am happy with my girlfriend, et cetera. She seemed to relax and things got back to Normal. A few weeks later, out of nowhere, I got a follow request on ig. My account is private from my co worker. I approved and followed back. Her account is also private. That account was almost nothing but a few pictures of her in swimsuits uploaded very recently. It didn't look like anything overtly sexy, just normal vacation pics. But there was nothing but vacation pics. It seemed weird, but I didn't really care. Then a few days later she DMed me on IG. It was just small talk and I replied but it wasn't flirty or anything in my opinion. She kept reaching out every few days and eventually it did seem to get kind of flirty. I told her this felt inappropriate and I was in a relationship and I'd appreciate if we kept things professional, which she seemed okay with. My girlfriend seemed extra affectionate the days after that, and while I didn't suspect anything at the time, you can all probably see exactly where this is going. Still, at the time I was happy and my girlfriend even seemed to be better regarding her jealousy. But then last week I got a follow recommendation on my ig. It was my coworker's account. This one wasn't private and was just a normal IG account and looking through it, that was where those swimsuit pics came from. Here they were just a part of her normal IG account which contained mostly normal pics and not just swimsuit one. Then I put two and two together. Before confronting my girlfriend. I talked to that co worker at work and asked for her IG account and she gave me her normal one which I followed. And indeed she gave no indication that we ever interacted on IG before, so it became clear I was being catfished. I confronted my girlfriend then and at first when I was trying to be subtle, she denied everything outright. Then she shifted to gaslighting me about it and saying it was just a prank or that it was a or that because she was cheated on before, she just needed to know that she could trust me. I told her that her being able to trust me was great, but how am I supposed to trust her now? She said that made no sense and kept deflecting no matter how I tried to explain, going so far as to question how I even knew it was her if I wasn't cheating on her with my coworker. I told her that this was unfair and manipulative and that I needed some time and went home. She's been texting and calling since saying that I'm ruining a great relationship over nothing. I'M overreacting. And that when I finally realize how much she loves me, it might be too late. And it's not fair for me to throw everything we built over some skank. But that just feels incredibly manipulative to me. And like, she doesn't get what she did wrong at all. So I'm conflicted between wanting to just cut and run and giving it another go. After all, we've been happy together for two years, but also can trust be rebuilt after something like this?
Guest
Woo.
Courtney
Second jealous hag, Shane.
Guest
I'm like. I'm like.
Shane
Okay, all right. Pulling something out. Okay. And you got. Oh, throwing it out.
Guest
Taking it under the trash, bitch.
Shane
Wow.
Guest
Gotta get in the cabinet.
Courtney
Get the new.
Shane
Yeah, the new one.
Courtney
Yeah.
Shane
Put the co worker in there. Yeah.
Guest
Coworker in there.
Courtney
Yeah, yeah. Unfortunately, this is a.
Shane
Off.
Guest
Fuck off.
Shane
Gross.
Guest
She's gotta go.
Courtney
Unhinged behavior.
Shane
Yes.
Courtney
And just it continued to get worse. The gaslighting, the being like. Well, it was a test. It was a prank. I actually just needed to make sure because I had been cheated on.
Guest
You're gonna miss me. I'm the best thing that's ever gonna come to you.
Courtney
Bye.
Guest
I'm gonna lie to you. I'm gonna test you without you knowing. I'm gonna pretend to be people I'm not. I'm gonna make your relationship with your coworker possibly weird.
Shane
Yes.
Courtney
And just let's think about that for a second of creating an Instagram account for someone else, going on their profile, finding the scandalous swimsuit pictures, pulling the swimsuit photos. And just like. And then the fall, and then the. Every few days the small talk until it eventually gets flirty. Do you have a job?
Guest
Yeah.
Courtney
Or a hobby or anything.
Shane
It's a long talk.
Courtney
Something to do, girl. Yeah.
Guest
It'd be like effort.
Shane
It would be like, okay, the trust is broken, the lying, all this stuff. But at the end of the day, also, it's like you're also kind of a loser.
Guest
Yes.
Courtney
Right.
Shane
And I have the ick. Because you're a loser.
Courtney
Big ick. Big ick. Cause you're crazy town.
Guest
And it's like, what was best case scenario? Like, you catch. Or I guess she. That was best case scenario, is that she doesn't.
Shane
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, but I've said it before. Like, to me, like, the cheating. The worst part of cheating is like the lying and stuff. And by catfishing him, she kind of. I'm like, it's not much different in a way.
Courtney
Right.
Guest
So it's such an Invasion. She knows how to flirt with him. She's his partner. She knows exactly what to say. She already did it once.
Shane
It's awful.
Guest
That is so awful.
Courtney
That is twisted.
Shane
It's really twisted.
Courtney
The logic of putting all that together and just thinking, I'm not doing anything wrong because I'm about to catch him doing something wrong. Possibly.
Guest
Yeah, possibly.
Shane
It's also the thing of. She's like, well, I trust you now. I don't believe this is where this behavior ends. No, dude, if you keep dating her, she's gonna do this again, right? Those feelings aren't just gone forever. She has trust issues and that's a thing she's gotta deal with. She has to reckon with that herself.
Courtney
Yes.
Shane
It's not gonna be solved in this kind of manner.
Courtney
Right.
Shane
The next woman he meets, she's gonna have to do this again. He's gonna get follow requests on IG every year.
Courtney
Well, that too. Now she's given. She's distributed her trust issues. Now this man also is gonna have to face some of that, you know.
Shane
Oh my God, no. And like her calling the co worker a skank, it's like, okay, whoa. You don't even know. Like, this lady didn't do anything.
Courtney
Just breathed.
Shane
Truly did nothing but be kind.
Courtney
That's it.
Shane
Yeah. And it's like, it's not even someone he's close with. It's just so.
Guest
They didn't even follow each other on Instagram.
Shane
Literally. Don't. He's like, I don't even really know this person. And it's like, okay, so God forbid you actually are friendly with someone. God forbid you actually like someone you work with as a friend. He's not gonna be able to associate with any women, like ever, ever with this girlfriend.
Courtney
Skank is way worse than hag, though.
Shane
You think so?
Guest
Oh, I would rather be called a skank than a hag.
Courtney
Really?
Shane
Yeah, absolutely.
Courtney
A hag. I'd just be like, all right, move on. Disrespected me. Well, for sure.
Shane
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Host
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Shane
Okay Comments I couldn't forgive someone after they breached my trust like this. The fact that she did this with no care for the consequences too you could have potentially reported your colleague to HR shows incredibly poor judgment as well as all the obvious other problems with this. This is likely not the only unhinged thing she's done in your relationship, and it won't be the last. Op said, I don't think she ever did anything on this level before, but obviously there were signs. I just didn't really want to see it because I was never regarded as particularly attractive and having someone be this into me just felt really nice. But I guess a lot of this is my own issues I need to work through and this relationship is clearly as great as I may have thought. Yeah, that's really true.
Courtney
He said that he said that up there that she had shown signs of jealousy, but he was like, well I'm wanted and that's valid, that's fair. But it just could orchestrate into something bigger and messier.
Shane
Someone else said, never stay with anyone who tests you. They want you to fail the test to prove their doubts are genuine. Every time you pass, they'll be loving for a bit until another doubt enters their head and they come up with another test for you to pass. It's no way to live your life. No trust equals no relationship. Op said, oh my God, this is it. I didn't even realize how much of a test. Some of the previous stuff had been, like asking my opinion on other women or getting my opinion on characters cheating on tv. There was just always something someone said, you guys are way too old for this high school behavior. I'd end it. Op said, I completely agree. This just doesn't sit right with me at all. Like this weird mind game bullshit. That's not how you treat a person you supposedly love, right? I think I might have to end it. I just needed the push. Yeah, push. There's no update. Cause that was this week as of recording it.
Guest
Oh, my God.
Courtney
That doesn't feel right.
Shane
Yeah, but this type of stuff is super common. Yeah, I hear about this all the time. And I've also been in situations in my past where I understand, like, the feeling of insecurity and wanting to be. Like, these doubts I have in my head, how do I prove that they're right? But it's like, to me, if you don't trust your partner, that is such a deep issue.
Guest
I've been also on Instagram right now, how you can see the things that people like that you follow. You know what I mean? It's kind of changing the game for me a little bit because there's some boys that I be liking, and I'm looking at what they're engaging with and liking. And it's some weird shit.
Courtney
Interesting.
Guest
And it's some questionable shit. And I'm like, oh, oh, no.
Courtney
Yeah.
Guest
Oh, no.
Shane
Yeah.
Courtney
See, I feel like there's.
Guest
There's like, some racy jokes, and I'm like, you liked this? Oh, you thought this was funny?
Courtney
Okay, now that.
Shane
Oh, no.
Guest
It's tough when you see, like, when you're on reels, then it shows you, like, what are your friends liking? I'll, like, click on it sometimes.
Courtney
Yeah.
Guest
And girl.
Shane
What if you guys looked over and I was suddenly sweating and I was like, you can't.
Guest
Do.
Shane
They could do. So you could do.
Courtney
Yeah, we see that you're liking your edits. We can see that he's liking his own thing.
Shane
It's all Shane top thirst traps.
Courtney
And you.
Shane
Is that worse? Is that worse than me liking.
Courtney
You created the account.
Shane
You've created the edit.
Courtney
And then you go to another third.
Shane
Courtney's like, I think I'm jealous of you.
Guest
Or it's like, Spencer thirst traps.
Shane
So Courtney. Courtney would be like, I get it.
Guest
Yeah, that's funny.
Courtney
Courtney's like, I made that one, actually.
Shane
I actually make.
Guest
So it's good.
Shane
It's good. Yeah.
Courtney
It's hard. Yeah. And you fell for the trap.
Shane
She's like. She's like, you didn't like my Spencer thirst trap better? All right, our next story comes from Am I the asshole? And it ended up on Am I the devil?
Guest
Whoa. It's gonna be good.
Shane
Yeah. Am I the asshole for my reaction to my sister in law's nickname for my husband?
Courtney
No, sister in law.
Shane
Her husband's sister has a nickname for it.
Courtney
Op's husband has a sister, and that sister is calling her brother. Who's the op's husband. A nickname?
Shane
Yes.
Courtney
I'm with you.
Shane
Okay. The people involved me, a 27 year old woman, my husband Connor, 27 year old man, and his sister Sophie, a 30 year old woman. Fake names. I feel uncomfortable with the nickname my sister in law calls my husband. All right, what do we think the nickname is?
Courtney
Pookie.
Guest
Pookie?
Shane
That'd be rough.
Guest
Gingy. Oh, maybe he's like Ginger and she calls him Gingee.
Courtney
Okay, okay.
Shane
They'd be pretty rough.
Courtney
Maybe Babe.
Shane
Babe.
Guest
Daddy Warbucks.
Shane
Daddy Warbucks. Daddy.
Courtney
At all would be creepy.
Shane
Okay. Bubby, Bubs or Booba. It's not inherently sexual, but I think it's weird for two grown adults. No one else in his family calls him that. Just her. When I brought it up to my husband, he brushed me off saying she's always called him that. Last night at a family dinner, she used the nickname and I guess I made a face and got quiet, which I tend to do. Later, when we were alone, she asked if something was wrong. I debated saying nothing, but figured this was my chance to address it. I told her I found it inappropriate, especially since my husband doesn't like nicknames in general. She wasn't surprised, which annoyed me, and said that as long as Connor doesn't mind, she doesn't see the issue. She also said she felt like I was implying something inappropriate, which was gross. Her words. Then that set me off and I regrettably made a comment about how she's been single her whole life and might be projecting onto her brother. She just started laughing and said if I'm jealous of my husband's sister, I need couples therapy. Then she said she'd ask Connor if it bothered him and if so, she'd stop. At that point I panicked because I didn't want this getting back to my in laws. As she was leaving, I killed her. No, I'm just kidding. Oh my God.
Guest
Can you.
Shane
Wow. As she was leaving, I stabbed her in the back.
Courtney
I was so gripped at that point.
Shane
I panicked because I didn't want this getting back to my in laws. As she was leaving, I told her not to start drama and to handle it like adults. Instead of telling on me. Oh, she just rolled her eyes and said, you made your bed today. She called Connor and told him everything. He said the nickname doesn't bother him and that my reaction was disrespectful to his sister. He also said it made him feel like I don't see their relationship as platonic, which is disgusting. I told him I don't think he has bad intentions, but I can't say the same for his sister. That just made him more upset. Now he's being cold toward me. I know I didn't handle it perfectly, but I don't get why it's such a big deal. Their insistence on keeping the nickname makes me feel like something bigger is going on. So, Reddit, am I overreacting? Should I push this or do I need to drop it?
Guest
Yeah, it's like, it's his sister. Like, they have a completely different dynamic.
Shane
It's probably been a nickname that they've had since they were kids. So it's like, it's not something he thinks about as an adult. He doesn't want new nicknames, but it's like, well, is it even a nickname? It's just kind of what you call me.
Courtney
Right.
Shane
I understand that my mom has a nickname. Her brothers call her a nickname, but it's from when they were little.
Guest
Same.
Shane
It comes from when they were. Before they could speak properly. They're saying it's just like having bubby Bubs or Booba. Almost sounds like she was trying to say brother as a little kid. And she's like, booba, you know? And I just kind of stayed that way.
Guest
The oldest son is always Bubba, so my dad's Bubba, I'm Bubba.
Shane
Wow.
Guest
Funny, it seems like, especially for grandparents, too. Nana, Dada, Amy.
Courtney
I think there's just clear. Clearly there's just discomfort, there's jealousy, there's just weirdness around it. Maybe she just genuinely is, like, finding that, like, nickname icky. And it's just like, I don't want to hear that, but it's just like, you're not involved in that relationship just because you're married. Like, that's weird being like, you can't call him that. Like that.
Guest
Yeah.
Shane
It's the type of control that's really insane.
Guest
So weird.
Courtney
Yeah. And again, it's like, for me, since they're siblings, it just seems so clear to be like, there's obviously something going.
Shane
On in regards to siblings. And this is a nickname that's been around a long time. This is very silly.
Courtney
Yeah.
Guest
And it's also like, if my friends have a nickname for me, like, my college friends have nicknames for me.
Courtney
Yeah.
Guest
But like, if my partner was like, I don't like them calling you that nickname.
Shane
What?
Guest
Why?
Courtney
I guess if it was, like, drawn from, like. Again, that's why I was guessing, like, babe. Like, if your friends are calling them, like, mostly romantic nicknames, then it's maybe like, hey, like, maybe that one's reserved for me, you know?
Guest
Yeah, but like a nickname is not like babe. It's not like a. It's not like a pet name. It's like a specific to that person, not something that you dish around to anyone.
Courtney
Right, right.
Shane
Yeah.
Guest
So like, Rash, like, I wouldn't call anyone else Rash probably.
Shane
Right?
Courtney
But then like, if my partner was like, hey, don't call her that, I'd.
Guest
Be like, who the fuck are you?
Courtney
That's weird.
Guest
What? Are you sure that's Rash? I know her before I knew you. What are you talking about? That's Rash.
Shane
To me, the only situation I could think of a nickname being inappropriate or uncomfortable is if like someone had a nickname for your partner and it was like very sexual.
Courtney
Yeah, exactly.
Shane
Then I'd be like, okay, yeah, but like, like that's a very specific situation. Yeah, this is not that situation whatsoever.
Guest
Like Titty Ginny. Like, don't call my wife Titty Ginny.
Shane
Don't call my husband Titty Ginny.
Courtney
Yeah, yeah, call her skank.
Shane
Yeah, please call her Hat. Comments. You're the asshole. I live in the South. I can't throw a rock right now and not hit at least five Bubbas. The female version is Sissy. Every little kid down here calls their brother Bubba or Bubs or their sister Sissy or Sissy.
Courtney
This.
Shane
It's literally the most common nickname in this region. If you yell it at Walmart, you'll get the attention of all the shoppers. What's gross though, is you thinking something more than sibling affection is going on here. And you do need to work through that ASAP. Oh, and FYI, I have at least two cousins older than 55 that are still known as Bubba. OP responded. This genuinely helps a lot. I'm not from the US and an only child, so this is all new to me. His family is originally from the south, so that context makes a lot of sense. That is 149 down votes.
Guest
Her response.
Shane
She's like, she's like, I understand now. Wrong. And everybody's like, fuck you.
Courtney
Everyone's like, no, you killed her.
Shane
I still fucking hate you. Someone replied to that. So instead of asking, looking into the culture of your in laws, you went off, you need some help. Seriously. Instead of being curious and having the desire to learn, you go, it's wrong. You've some serious learning to do. Oh, another person said, you're the asshole. You sound like a jealous kid with a schoolyard crush, not an adult in your late 20s. What they call each other is their business. But the real problem here is that it sounds like you never brought this up to your husband before you going to his sister. Marriage is about communicating. If it made you uncomfortable, he should have been your first port of call. Or at least you should have brought it up right after you talked to her rather than waiting for him to find out. Op said. Just to clarify, someone mentioned this earlier, but it got lost in the comments. I wrongly assumed that Bubby was a mix of hubby and brother, which is why it felt strange to me. I'm an only child. My family doesn't use nicknames, and I'm not from the US which doesn't mean I was right, but I do think it's an important context. I'll talk to Connor ASAP to clear things up, because, yeah, I'm obviously the asshole here. Someone replied to that, saying, I'm sorry, but the fact that your mind went to incest simply because of a nickname you didn't know the meaning of and put together in your head is disturbing. You need help to figure out why you went there because being an only child or your family not using nicknames should be irrelevant. This is her husband, and she's never asked him, like, where does Bubby come from?
Courtney
Right.
Shane
That's all this took.
Courtney
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Shane
But she let it linger all this time.
Guest
She incest.
Shane
Yeah.
Courtney
Yeah, that's definitely odd. But I will give her credit for being open and clearly quickly being like, you know what? You're right. I'm the asshole. I mean, she asked and she's not upset at the answer.
Shane
Yeah, her acknowledging it and that getting downvotes is funny to me. Like, people are still throwing tomatoes at.
Courtney
It's all the bubbies They've gathered.
Shane
Yeah, they've gathered. Oh, my God, they've multiplied. I just think, like, all of this, like, I understand there's culture differences and all sorts of things. I mean, none of it really justifies it in my head, but, like, all of it is just alleviated by just talking to your husband. Yeah, talking to him first.
Courtney
Right.
Shane
Instead of holding this in and then bringing it out towards his sister. Our last story comes from. Am I overreacting? And also ended up on Am I the devil?
Guest
Oh, damn.
Shane
Am I overreacting for being offended that my parents called a little girl the cutest little girl they had ever seen.
Guest
Oh, I think Voice, your ass is ugly.
Courtney
Get over it, you little hag.
Shane
I think Voice inflection matters a lot here. They said it very emphatically and with purpose. As if they meant every word. Sincerely, context. At my brother's wedding, the bride's four year old niece was the flower girl. I was 26 at the time. I get it. It sounds like I'm jealous of a four year old and I'm not. She was an adorable little girl. I also understand that families sometimes kiss the keisters of their in laws to establish or retain good family relations. The way they said it was such absolutism just rubbed me the wrong way. She is the cutest little girl I have ever seen. They fawned over and over again. I'm their only daughter, so I felt some kind of way about it just standing off to the side like, great. I'm just not a fan of speaking in absolutisms to begin with. I tend to take things very literally. I avoid saying things like that's the best wedding slash party I've ever been to because it could easily be overheard by someone else whose wedding slash birthday party retirement party I've attended. I don't know. It felt like a burn from my parents. Am I overreacting or do my own parents think I wasn't that cute? I mean, why didn't they say cutest kid I've ever seen? Because that would contend with my brother. Why couldn't they have just said she's adorable? So cute. She did a great job in her role. You can compliment without setting up a favoritism paradigm. Eta they were speaking to the flower girl's grandparents.
Guest
Absolutisms.
Shane
Instead of just being like, oh, she's really cute. Being like, she's actually the cutest girl.
Courtney
I've ever seen in my entire life.
Shane
Ever. Yeah. Yeah.
Guest
But only sith deal in absolutes.
Shane
So maybe they are wrong.
Guest
Yeah.
Courtney
I would simply try to make this woman understand that she is just this small person right here and that there's a whole fricking world.
Shane
I make her understand that she's a disgusting hag.
Courtney
I mean, I wasn't gonna say it.
Shane
No, I'm just kidding.
Courtney
Like, she's like, oh my God. Everything that happens around me has to do with me.
Shane
Yeah. No, she's definitely just like, yeah. I'm like, okay, bro. Like, whoa. Also the context of this, like weddings, dude. People just are in their feelings at weddings. Like at weddings, the flower girl. And they're talking to the flower girl's grandparents, Right? Of course. They're like, she is just the most precious thing I've ever seen in my entire life. It's like you're sitting here thinking about yourself in competition with a 4 year old. All of sudden they turn back and op is like going down the aisle with the flowers.
Guest
She rips it out of her hands.
Courtney
It's clearly just mommy daddy issues. And she's like, oh my God, this four year old's cuter than me.
Guest
Maybe she didn't get enough love as a child.
Courtney
It's totally that.
Shane
And look, I'm not saying there's other things going on here, but it's just like, dude, you're 26, right? There's an open bar.
Guest
Go get a drink.
Shane
Go have some fun, man.
Courtney
Right, right.
Shane
And if there's not an open bar, you've got bigger issues here.
Courtney
I think it's just what is confusing me here. What's confusing me here is that like these people, they write these posts and aren't able to be like, wait, this is a metaphor for what I need to deal with in therapy. Instead they're why am I obsessing over this sentence that my parents said? And everybody else has to be like, hey honey. And walk them to what it actually means. That's really concerning.
Shane
Yeah. I think this person's having a hard time thinking that other people don't think the way she does. Right. Cause she's like, I don't speak in absolutism because what if I say this is the best party I've ever been to and someone else nearby has had a party recently and they feel bad about it? Like they're not feeling bad about it.
Courtney
Yeah, probably. So she's maybe just like overly considerate in a way.
Shane
Yeah, she's being. Cause that's how she thinks of things. But it's like, hey, other people don't think that way. Yes, I'm sure your parents don't think that girl is better than you. Like you're their daughter and you're an only child. But it is self centered.
Courtney
That's a great point.
Shane
Her universe is very self centered. She's just thinking about herself in relation to everything going on here.
Courtney
Right. And it's manifesting in a way of her think. Exactly what you said. It's a great point of like, so often we get caught in the cycle of like, this is how I think. And therefore every human around me thinks the exact same way.
Shane
Right.
Courtney
And it almost goes back to the story with the photos. Right. The wife is like, well, I think that photos are important and I need to have them with my daughter. My husband definitely thinks that too. And so therefore him not taking photos with is intentional. And it's like, we literally all think so differently. You cannot assume that.
Shane
Also, look, this kid might be the cutest four year old ever, but it's like, hey, when she's 26 years old, go find her and be like, yeah, well, how do you match up to when I was 26?
Courtney
Killer.
Guest
Hell yeah.
Courtney
Killer. Oh my God. Sorry.
Shane
Comments. I get it. It sounds like I'm jealous of a four year old and I'm not. Yes, you're jealous of a four year old. Someone else said, did I miss something? Is this really about your parents making a compliment about a four year old girl? I think of all the things someone could do to make you feel bad about yourself, that's really not that bad. I think it had nothing to do with you. And you'd probably be a lot happier not wasting your energy on such things. Yeah, you're essentially saying you'd feel happier policing what kinds of compliments your parents pay. That's what would make you happy. OP responded saying, no, what would make me happy is feeling like I was the cutest little girl my parents had ever seen instead of being saddled with this lifelong inferiority complex.
Courtney
Okay, this is a test. This is a prank.
Guest
Jesus, she's fighting.
Shane
Yeah, you know it's bad when they're fighting it. You end up on Am I the Devil? When you fight in the comments.
Courtney
Oh, I just want to read those.
Guest
The other woman from the last story should not have been in Am I the devil? I don't think.
Courtney
Right. It's kind of crazy.
Shane
She admitted she was on the fence.
Courtney
That doesn't seem like she admitted she was wrong.
Shane
That part over? Yeah, someone said, I read an article once from a woman who had a baby, and after the birth, the doctor got the baby all cleaned up and handed it to the mother and said, this baby is the most beautiful baby I've ever seen. The mother beamed and told all her friends and family what he said. Sometime later, maybe years, I can't remember, she met another mother whose kid was close to the same age as her, and they compared birth stories. It turned out they had the same doctor. The other mother proudly said that the doctor said her baby was the most beautiful baby he'd ever seen. The first mother, the writer of the article, was shocked. All this time, she believed that the doctor really thought her baby was the most beautiful. But it then dawned on her that he said this to all the mothers. So my advice is to take your mother's comments with a grain of salt. I am certain that you were. And in her mind still are the most beautiful little girl she has ever seen. Op Responded, oh, my God. Saying, I wish I could give you an award for this beautifully written, insightful, and emotionally intelligent response. All I can offer is an upvote. And thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your response means a lot to me.
Courtney
Aww.
Guest
That was nice.
Shane
Okay.
Guest
But also the doctor, we're omitting a possibility that. That it was the most beautiful baby. And then new baby. Truly, this is now the most beautiful baby I've ever seen.
Shane
New baby just dropped, and it's the most beautiful. And it's like, oh, new baby just dropped. Like this.
Guest
This is the most beautiful baby.
Shane
The odds are there of every baby he sees is just a little better than the previous baby.
Guest
Yeah.
Courtney
That's natural selection news for everybody.
Guest
Like, it's just like, we're getting hotter.
Shane
Babies are all getting better.
Guest
The Earth is getting hotter. Babies are getting hotter.
Courtney
Yeah, let's.
Shane
Guys, good news. Every human that's coming out, they're all stronger, faster.
Courtney
They're hot, you guys. Right out the oven. They're hot.
Shane
Oh, my God.
Courtney
The doctor's like, your baby's hot.
Guest
Your baby is hot.
Shane
He said my baby was the most beautiful baby he's ever seen. He's like, he told me my baby was hot.
Guest
He said my baby was sexy. What brings you that titty, Ginny? Ophir.
Courtney
He said, give me that skank.
Guest
Your baby's a hat. No.
Shane
Okay. Can I say, though, okay. Cause I think babies are super cute, right?
Courtney
Some.
Shane
Most babies are super cute. I think all babies are really cute. But sometimes you'll like a friend of yours, right? Like, you'll know someone, and they're an attractive person, but they'll show you a baby photo, and you're like, oh, my God.
Guest
Yeah. Whoa.
Shane
Bad, bad. You turned out good.
Courtney
But like, whoa.
Guest
Oh, yeah.
Courtney
And enough stuff.
Shane
Your parents probably didn't know what was gonna happen, Right?
Courtney
Yeah.
Shane
Wow.
Courtney
Yeah. Well, I'm glad that she also seems like she accepted accountability, which I guess gets you into the am I the devil club.
Guest
Yeah.
Shane
In that one comment. Yeah. It seems like she gets it a little bit, hopefully, but still fun.
Guest
Yeah.
Shane
Damn. Well, these were some. This was a lot of jealousy.
Courtney
Yeah.
Guest
Yeah.
Courtney
And envy.
Shane
And some envy.
Guest
And some envy.
Shane
Little sprinkles of envy in there. Thank you both for joining me.
Courtney
I feel like I learned something.
Shane
What was it? You don't know?
Courtney
Yeah. I don't know, but I just feel it. Maybe some of a baby.
Guest
I think I did. I don't know what it is, but I think I learned something.
Shane
That's great.
Courtney
Okay, that's good.
Guest
Yeah.
Shane
Well, thank you both for being here. You guys are definitely the second best guests I've ever had.
Courtney
I think I just learned something else.
Shane
Just kidding. You're the best guests I've ever had on this show.
Courtney
No, he says that to everybody. Here's my toast.
Shane
Thank you for watching. Let us know what other themes and subreddits you'd like to see on this show, and we'll see you next Saturday. Bye.
Courtney
Bye.
Podcast Summary: Smosh Reads Reddit Stories
Episode Title: Green With Envy | Reading Reddit Stories
Release Date: April 19, 2025
Host: Shayne Topp (Smosh)
In the "Green With Envy" episode of Smosh Reads Reddit Stories, host Shayne Topp explores the multifaceted emotion of jealousy through a series of compelling Reddit submissions. Joined by guest panelists Courtney and Guest (unnamed), Shayne delves into personal anecdotes that range from relationship turmoil to familial tensions, offering both heartfelt insights and comedic relief.
Timestamp: [05:00] - [10:12]
Summary:
A 37-year-old man shares his distress over his wife’s intense jealousy towards his ex-wife, who has recently found love. Despite his ex-wife now being with a seemingly nice man, his wife reacts with anger and resentment instead of happiness. She goes as far as sending a follow request to the new man, interpreting his engagement as a personal slight against her.
Notable Quotes:
Discussion Highlights:
Timestamp: [13:53] - [26:20]
Summary:
A Redditor recounts her frustration over being consistently excluded from photos during her daughter’s birthday parties, despite her significant role in planning and organizing these events. Her husband often takes all the pictures, leaving her feeling invisible and unappreciated.
Notable Quotes:
Discussion Highlights:
Update Segment: At [25:35], the Redditor provides an update after a heartfelt conversation with her husband. They apologize and pledge to improve their photo-taking habits. While Shayne remains cautiously optimistic, the panel underscores the significance of ongoing communication and effort in mending relationship strains.
Timestamp: [30:28] - [51:06]
Summary:
A user questions whether they are the asshole for calling their sister a "jealous hag" after she criticized the lavishness of an Easter basket her husband thoughtfully prepared. The sister expressed envy over the effort and expense, insinuating that the user’s marriage is more picture-perfect compared to her own.
Notable Quotes:
Discussion Highlights:
Final Verdict:
The panel collectively agrees that the sister’s behavior was driven by jealousy, but they also recognize the lack of understanding stemming from cultural differences. They emphasize the necessity of open dialogue to prevent such conflicts.
Timestamp: [40:53] - [51:06]
Summary:
A 28-year-old man considers ending his two-year relationship after discovering that his girlfriend catfished him by creating a fake Instagram account to interact with his coworker. This act of deceit was initially dismissed by his girlfriend as a trust test stemming from her previous experiences with infidelity.
Notable Quotes:
Discussion Highlights:
Conclusion:
The guests unanimously view the girlfriend’s actions as unacceptable and advise the man to prioritize his well-being by considering ending the relationship to prevent further emotional harm.
Timestamp: [61:42] - [70:55]
Summary:
A user feels insulted when her parents refer to her niece, a four-year-old flower girl at her brother's wedding, as "the cutest little girl they have ever seen." She interprets this absolute compliment as a slight against herself, leading to feelings of inadequacy and resentment.
Notable Quotes:
Discussion Highlights:
Advice Offered:
Final Verdict:
The panel advises the user to address her feelings openly with her parents, seeking understanding rather than harboring resentment. They emphasize the role of self-awareness in managing personal insecurities that affect perception.
Differentiating Jealousy and Envy: Understanding the nuances between fearing loss (jealousy) and desiring what others have (envy) is crucial in addressing and managing these emotions effectively.
Communication is Paramount: Many of the conflicts stemmed from a lack of direct communication. Expressing feelings openly and seeking mutual understanding can prevent misunderstandings and resentment.
Impact of Insecurities: Personal insecurities often fuel jealousy and envy, leading to destructive behaviors. Addressing these insecurities through self-reflection or therapy can foster healthier relationships.
Cultural and Contextual Influences: Misinterpretations arise when cultural or familial norms are not considered. Being aware of and sensitive to these differences can aid in better understanding and interactions.
Trust as the Foundation of Relationships: Trust, once broken, is challenging to rebuild. Acts of deceit, even if intended as tests, can irreparably harm the relational bond.
The "Green With Envy" episode of Smosh Reads Reddit Stories offers a deep dive into the complex emotion of jealousy, showcasing its impact on various aspects of personal and familial relationships. Through engaging discussions and relatable anecdotes, Shayne and his guests highlight the importance of communication, understanding, and self-awareness in navigating jealousy and envy. Listeners are left with valuable insights on fostering healthier dynamics and addressing underlying insecurities to build stronger, more trusting relationships.
Notable Quotes Compilation:
Disclaimer:
This summary is based on the transcript provided and aims to capture the essence and key discussions of the podcast episode. For a complete and nuanced understanding, listening to the full episode is recommended.