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Narrator/Advertiser
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Shane
Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.
Sophia Wilson
Hey, it's Sophia Wilson, athlete and gold medalist. And this summer, my wardrobe is being perfected with Abercrombie's newest drop. I'm a girl who loves jeans, and Abercrombie's new linen blend denim has changed the game for me. They have that lightweight feel for summer, but the outfits I live in all summer are matching sets. They always look good, and they give your wardrobe options. Spend the summer in Abercrombie. Shop in the app, online and in stores.
Shane
Hello, welcome to Smosh Reads Reddit Stories. I'm Shane, and today's theme is wedding. And I'm joined by two people who are about to get married right now. Courtney and Arasha.
Courtney
It's us. Yes.
Arasha
Actually, guys, I have to tell you something.
Shane
Oh, what?
Arasha
This is so crazy. I'm actually not getting married.
Courtney
Wait, what?
Shane
What?
Arasha
I know, I know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Courtney
What if you're going by a Rasha and only a Rasha so that one day you could be a Rasha Miller?
Shane
That was my plan. That was the plan all along.
Arasha
It was actually, though I don't know if I told you guys to. Cause Rory the other day was here and saw the save the date on the fridge and came over and was like, oh, my God, I didn't know you were getting married.
Shane
You got one last person, last casualty.
Arasha
But I was like, oh, that saved the date. So hideous.
Shane
And that's. That's. Wow. Are you offended that they thought that was real?
Arasha
Yeah.
Shane
That's tough.
Courtney
Yeah, they were like.
Arasha
I wasn't going to say anything but green.
Courtney
Oh, my God.
Shane
Well, today we have a ton of wedding stories. We've done wedding stories before, and they're always the best. They're the most drama filled. Emily and Bailey have found a new subreddit that they've been scouring called wedding shaming. Ooh. We've had some stories from there in the past, but they've really delved into it, and, boy, do people make some choices at weddings.
Arasha
Oh, yeah. So I've heard I wonder if there will be like ring talk in it too.
Shane
Ring talk?
Arasha
You know, ring talk, ring drama, rings.
Shane
I'm assuming there's some of that. I'm assuming someone's gonna wear white to a wedding.
Arasha
Oh, of course.
Shane
Oh, but else. Never understand that choice that people make. They know it's such a blatant rule. Yeah, but people go for it.
Arasha
I assume with those rules. Maybe there are just outliers though, right? Like genuinely people that haven't caught up with some people.
Shane
Someh.
Courtney
Some people just think they're above rules sometimes.
Shane
Certain rules.
Courtney
It's like, well, I'm. But I'm special though.
Shane
Yeah, that's true.
Arasha
But it's a really cute white dress.
Courtney
But it's so cute.
Arasha
It's so cute.
Courtney
Shane, Can I say the joke? Can I say the joke?
Shane
Say the joke.
Courtney
Welcome to reading wedded wedding stories.
Arasha
Let's just cut that and put it into the beginning.
Shane
Into the beginning.
Arasha
They'll fix it in the edit.
Shane
Yeah, that was my joke. I'll make it work.
Arasha
Yeah.
Shane
Shall we hop into our first wedding story?
Arasha
Okay.
Courtney
Yes.
Arasha
Let's just all get married at the end of this.
Shane
Yeah, that'll be great.
Arasha
Yeah.
Sophia Wilson
I've never been.
Arasha
And then, you know, we can leave Shane out and just.
Courtney
Okay.
Shane
Okay.
Arasha
Okay.
Courtney
Yeah.
Shane
Our first story comes from wedding shaming. This was posted a few months ago. As of recording this, I recently went to a wedding reception where the seating arrangements were alphabetical by first name.
Arasha
Ooh, fun.
Shane
All the Anns and Bobs at one table, all the Joes and Katies at another, regardless of whether or not any of them knew each other. If you came as a plus one and didn't know anybody besides your date, too bad. No exceptions. Strictly alphabetical. Except for my one friend Kaitlyn, who was seated at the K table for some reason. No, we still don't know why. Sounds like a typo.
Arasha
Okay.
Shane
There was one table that was pretty much just women named Sue, Susan, Suzanne who didn't know each other. There was one table where a guy I know, his current girlfriend and his ex all got seated together.
Arasha
Oh.
Shane
Basically everybody ended up standing around the edges of the room all night. Edit. Because I've answered this 10,000 times already. Caitlin's name was spelled correctly on the seating chart and on her place card. That's why it's funny that she was seated at the K table. No, it wasn't a hastily corrected spelling error. The seating chart was hand inked calligraphy without any awkward crossouts. They wrote Caitlin on purpose in the middle of A bunch of K names. That's why it was worth commenting on. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. Edit number two, can we please all chill out a little? Nobody died. Nobody cried. Some people swapped seats around, and it made for a good story at the end of the day. It was a nice wedding. Also, we all know the one thing that really matters at a reception is that the food was damn good.
Courtney
Okay, well. Yes.
Shane
Wow. I'm gonna be honest. After all of this. Cause the wild choice. After all of this, I have a couple thoughts just about opinion.
Arasha
I love this. I love this.
Courtney
And it was their wedding. It was just a wedding they went to.
Shane
Supposedly that was wedding shaming. But it has me wondering if this was their wedding. And they're like, ha, ha, isn't this crazy, you guys? That they did this?
Arasha
And then it's like, edit two.
Courtney
Stop, guys.
Shane
Everybody chill out.
Courtney
Stop.
Shane
But even regardless of that, I love when people post things. This goes for anywhere on social media when they post things and then they're surprised by the Internet being the Internet, right?
Arasha
Yeah.
Shane
You see it a lot on TikTok, where they're like, guys, my boyfriend's so crazy. He. He doesn't wash the dishes. And then the next one's like, guys, stop being mean to my boyfriend. Okay? He's actually great.
Arasha
He loves me very much. I was teasing him.
Shane
You put this out there like the Internet was the Internet.
Arasha
100%. That is so interesting. It very much could be.
Shane
Cause it feels like a bold choice. That's almost like a joke. Like it was meant to make everyone mingle.
Courtney
Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Like, it was supposed to be like a cute, quirky. Everyone get to know each other.
Arasha
Yeah. Yeah.
Courtney
Maybe Caitlyn was at the wrong table. Cause it's like, K, T, Lynn. Like, K. Oh, Tyn. K. Tylin.
Shane
Cause there's K in her name.
Arasha
Klin. Yes. K. That's really good. See, but. And that tells me that these people are funny. They have a good idea of, like, oh, wait, that's like, smart.
Shane
Yeah. Wait, guys, this is really quirky and
Arasha
cool, but it is. I think that's really funny. That is something that, like, from our view, not attending this wedding, not having to sit by your ex or anybody like that. It is funny. From afar.
Shane
It's all. Yeah. It has me thinking of a lot of fun ways to have seating arrangements that are also extremely messed up, but, like, to organize the entire seating chart by height difference. So tallest to shortest. And you just. You don't tell anybody, and they'll show up. And they're all there. They're like, I think everybody at that table's really tall, and we're all really short.
Arasha
I know what table I would want to be at.
Shane
Yeah.
Courtney
Roar.
Shane
He organizes it by, like, hottest to least hottest. And nobody knows. And everybody's. By the end, they're like, wait a second.
Courtney
Literally was, like, funniest.
Shane
Yeah. You don't tell people what it's raked on. It's just like, at some point in the day, the groom is just like. Just so, you know, we seated you all in a specific order. You must figure out what the criteria is. Oh, my God. Let mayhem ensue.
Arasha
Honestly. Really fun.
Shane
Really awesome.
Courtney
Really awesome.
Arasha
No, no. So awesome. Because at the table that it makes everybody be like, okay, so what do we all have in common?
Shane
What are we? What are we?
Courtney
So, wait, what are we?
Shane
Yes.
Arasha
It's like we were all placed here for a reason.
Courtney
Why? Ugh.
Shane
Could be a really fun, horrible game to play.
Courtney
Murder mystery, but not.
Arasha
I like it.
Shane
Yeah. Courtney, you and I would not be sitting close together at all.
Courtney
No.
Shane
I'd be so far away.
Arasha
That's fun.
Courtney
Who would I be with? I would be with Chance.
Shane
Oh, I'd be Damien. I'd be by Spencer.
Courtney
Lacking.
Arasha
I'd be a.
Shane
My.
Courtney
You'd be the triple A. I'd be
Arasha
by Amanda and Angela.
Shane
My triple AAA would be there.
Arasha
That's a great wedding.
Courtney
Chance. Courtney, Damien Bailey,
Arasha
let's make this the video.
Shane
Tommy would be close to Spencer, and I.
Arasha
Let's just build the smosh table assignment.
Courtney
Yes.
Shane
Someone out there designed this.
Arasha
Someone will make it.
Courtney
I remember planning an event similar to this where I thought a version of seating with some mangling involved would be fun, but it seemed like at the end of the day, people preferred to just be with the people they knew because, you know, people are anxious and like to be with their friends.
Shane
Well, at a wedding, you're also stuck there kinda.
Arasha
Yeah. Yeah.
Shane
Weddings are designed also. I mean, not designed, but, like, they're a great opportunity for a family to get together. So you kind of remove that element.
Arasha
It's like a reunion.
Shane
Yeah. Yeah.
Arasha
I think it's also particularly cruel to separate the plus ones.
Shane
Oh, that's rough.
Courtney
That's so messed up.
Arasha
Like, you came with somebody to this wedding, and then you're like, have fun with the steak, you know?
Shane
Yeah.
Courtney
Cause weddings, like, plus ones, it's kind of like a romantic thing. People, like, see it as like, hey, will you go to this wedding with me? And you're like, oh, so we're in a rom com now, and then you show up, and then you can't sit with them. But that's also the funny scene in the rom com where you, like, I guess I'm stuck with these weird people. And you see the date across the place being funny with the other people. And you're like, he's really great, isn't he? And then eventually
Arasha
I think he's gonna be the one.
Shane
Too bad his name starts with. Too bad his name starts with a Z. Xander.
Courtney
Xander.
Shane
That's an X.
Courtney
They spelled Kaitlin with a K. Xylafall.
Shane
We have comments here. Someone said, this person loves an icebreaker. At a professional meeting.
Courtney
Icebreakers mentioned.
Shane
Someone said, I'll do you one better. I once was at a wedding where at one point all the guests had to form two circles, one inside the other, so you would face another guest. Every couple then had to hold each other's hand. And everyone sang a little song about how happy they were that the other person was here today. Oh. And then the inner circle rotated so you had to do the exact same thing with a new person.
Arasha
Okay.
Shane
And again and again and again.
Arasha
It's not stirring.
Shane
That's a cult.
Arasha
No, no, see, that's not fun.
Shane
No, I'm not. Please.
Courtney
I'm so.
Shane
I love how I immediately wrote the song.
Arasha
I was like, hello.
Shane
I love how I immediately know that that was a dry wedding. Like, I'm like, that was a dry wedding. You're not doing that shit when you're dry.
Arasha
I remember they were all so stoned
Shane
hammered, and that was not in the plan. They all collectively did it.
Arasha
I'm so happy.
Shane
Guys, the Tito's is telling us to do this.
Courtney
I'm so happy.
Shane
Someone said, why on earth would anyone do this? Laziness and lack of emotional intelligence is my guess. Op said, not laziness and not ill intentions.
Arasha
Yeah.
Shane
This was. Oh, this was Op's wedding.
Courtney
I think this was Op's wedding. Yeah.
Shane
Not laziness and not ill intentions. I think the groom genuinely thought it was a fun way to get all the different people he and the bride cared about.
Courtney
I think Dobrou, he was really smart,
Shane
who's really hot and has a huge dick, by the way. I think it was his. I think it was a great idea.
Courtney
Yeah. Yeah.
Arasha
Just completely out of left field to these comments.
Courtney
I think the groom is packing.
Shane
Just so you know. I got that sense.
Arasha
They're like, great, but the alphabetical thing.
Shane
So the alphabetical thing was weird, though. It's like, oh, yeah.
Arasha
No, that was fucking weird.
Shane
Only someone who's packing heat can do that. Okay. Someone else said, if my wife and I went to a wedding with this bs, then we would just ignore the seating chart and sit together. OP said, we did smiling face. Okay? So it didn't matter.
Courtney
Huh?
Arasha
Huh? We did smiley face.
Courtney
We did smiley face.
Shane
We did smiling face. This was op's wedding. Yeah.
Courtney
That was your fucking wedding.
Shane
Yeah.
Arasha
Op, we know you abandoned the seating chart. Cause you were up at the altar.
Shane
You wanted to put a post on wedding shaming to see that. Everybody thought your idea was actually amazing,
Courtney
that they weren't gonna shame it, and it didn't work.
Shane
Not slipping past us.
Arasha
That's right. Fuck you. Next story. Just kidding. I hope it was a lovely ceremony.
Shane
If I did go to a wedding, I think I'm the type that if I went to a wedding and they. It was seated that way, which is so absurd and chaotic. I don't think I'd be mad about it. I'd be like, this is crazy.
Arasha
Yeah.
Shane
Like, I would get mad if it was like. If it was designed in a way, like, very intentionally that also split people up. This was just a pure chaos move.
Courtney
I'd like a break in the simulation moment. When you break the simulation, you're like, what even is the seating?
Arasha
Yeah.
Courtney
Yeah.
Arasha
Your outies come out.
Courtney
Your outies are out. The innies are in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or indies are.
Arasha
They're like, wake up.
Courtney
I'm here.
Arasha
You're bye.
Shane
They're like, all right. Your seat and chart. You'll find your name on a table. There will also be another name on the table. That is your target.
Arasha
Find them while I shoot them.
Shane
Kill them. They're searching for you too.
Arasha
Where's the gun?
Courtney
The groom.
Shane
The groom. Only the groom has a gun.
Arasha
Has a big gun in his sock.
Courtney
Okay, okay. We must move on.
Shane
We must move on.
Arasha
Okay.
Sophia Wilson
Hey, it's Sophia Wilson, athlete and gold medalist. And this summer, my wardrobe is being perfected with Abercrombie's newest drop. I'm a girl who loves jeans, and Abercrombie's new linen blend denim has changed the game for me. They have that lightweight feel for summer. But the outfits I live in all summer are matching sets. They always look good, and they give your wardrobe options. Spend the summer in Abercrombie. Shop in the app, online, and in stores.
Narrator/Advertiser
Put together your summer wardrobe with Abercrombie. First step, new denim. Abercrombie added new linen blend jeans to their lineup. They're really lightweight and a comfortable cotton linen blend you need for summer. Their Archive shirt is your next must have cut at a 90s inspired oversized fit that gives a put together but relaxed look. Pair it with their classic Poplin short and you have your new go to outfit for the season. Set your wardrobe up with Abercrombie this summer. Shop in the app, online and in stores.
Sponsor Voice
This episode of Reddit Stories is sponsored by Wayfair.
Shane
I'll be honest with y'. All.
Sponsor Voice
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Shane
of items because because Wayfair has thousands
Sponsor Voice
of five star reviews which allowed me to shop with confidence. I really love that Wayfair offers installation
Shane
and assembly because I don't have time to read instructions. I'm reading Reddit stories. I don't have time to build. I'm reading Reddit stories. Sorry, I just really love Wayfair's professional assembly.
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Shane
can read more Reddit stories. That's all I do anymore. It's fine. Our next story comes from wedding shaming. My cousin faked her own wedding to get money and gifts.
Arasha
That's just wrong. That's just wrong. That's so, so bad.
Shane
Gosh, that's just so bad.
Arasha
I can't even take it.
Courtney
It's so horrible.
Shane
That's just so wrong.
Courtney
Pranking about being married is horrible.
Arasha
Like what did she like make? Save the dates and stuff. That's awful.
Courtney
Did she do it on April Fool's Day?
Shane
What a bastard.
Arasha
That's the worst of it.
Shane
What a huge piece of shit.
Arasha
Yeah.
Shane
Yes, you read the title correctly. This happened almost 20 years ago and is still talked about amongst my family. My cousin declared to all of us that she Met this great man 6 months or so later. They were expected to be married now. My cousin had lucked out because my mom and aunts agreed to prepare all of the food. The wedding venue was at my uncle's house. Not her dad. He has a huge amount of land. So the ceremony was set up outside with chairs and. And there were tents put up for the reception and the food. My mom's side of the family is big. We have people all over the country and some even overseas. So we had over 100 people who agreed to travel far and yonder, rent cars and get hotels in order to attend this wedding.
Arasha
Oof. See, I didn't do that.
Shane
The morning of, my cousin, the bride was acting so sketchy. She was so reluctant to get ready. She kept taking off her gown and putting on casual clothing. We were all so confused. We thought she had cold feet. Meanwhile, my mom and aunts were sweltering in the kitchen preparing all of this food for all these people. Someone noticed she kept making trips to her car and would come back to the house. But we were all so busy setting everything up that we didn't focus on it too hard. What made matters worse, the groom was nowhere to be found. People kept telling her to call him. She did, and apparently it kept going straight to voicemail. Guests are arriving, preparations are being made, and the groom isn't here for his wedding. We are questioning her and asking her what the hell is going on, and she says, he had a meeting yesterday in New York, but he was supposed to come back last night but didn't, making it seem like he stood her up instantly. We deflated because we could tell that she was lying. She went outside for a moment. My aunt took her phone and looked at her call history. She never called him once. We all started screaming, wondering, what the hell is she trying to pull here? My aunt calls him and he picks up. She asks him where he is. He says, I'm in New York for business. She's questioning him, how are you on business the day of your wedding? I'm sure none of you are surprised by the fact that he had no idea there was a wedding, let alone a wedding he was supposed to be getting married in. He was in shock and couldn't believe my cousin did all of this, but he said he never proposed to her and planned to be away this weekend, and she knew that. We all go outside to confront her and she's gone in the wind.
Courtney
Gone in the wind Gone in the wind
Shane
she's gone in the wind. Those trips to the Car she was taking. We found out later from her son, she was taking gifts and money off the table as they arrived and stowing them in her car. My uncle said when she came outside, she tried to grab more, but he stopped her from grabbing them so soon because it looked tacky. Not having any idea. That was the whole point for this entire charade. He made a joke later that night. Well, guess this was just another family reunion. Moments after that, people were just going back and forth about all the money they spent. My mom spent over $700 on groceries for the wedding, $300 renting a car, and money for a hotel. My dress was. I don't even remember how much from David's bridal. I was her flower girl who never got to do her job. Whenever I share this story with people, they find it insane. I absolutely agree, but looking back on it, it kind of makes me chuckle at how ridiculous it is. She still very much is the black sheep of the family. Unfortunately, this is not the worst thing she's done at our expense.
Courtney
What? Whoa.
Arasha
This isn't the worst.
Shane
You still talk to her. How did she show back up?
Courtney
That's.
Shane
How do you show back up after that?
Courtney
That's what. I. For some reason, thought it was gonna be like a heist and her and the boyfriend did it together. But no, he was none the wiser.
Arasha
No, he had a meeting in New
Courtney
York, and she was gone in the wind.
Arasha
It's actually. It's so sad to think about all the stuff that she did wrong. Like, incredibly inappropriate for her to just involve her family. Overall.
Shane
What a terrible heist. Rob a bank. Like, at least rob someone you're not gonna see again.
Courtney
Right? Yeah. Wow. You don't care about your family at all.
Arasha
At all.
Courtney
At all.
Shane
I get infuriated when people, like, people do bad things. I get really mad when they do them really stupidly. Cause I'm like, not only are you doing a bad thing, you're also insulting everyone's intelligence.
Courtney
You're doing it badly, stupidly.
Shane
You're doing it badly and stupidly. Yeah, but I'm. You're trying to get free gifts and money. So you staged a wedding with your entire family there.
Courtney
That's wild.
Shane
To rob your family and just leave. I'm like, you okay?
Arasha
But she kind of pulled it off.
Shane
I hope those gifts and money were worth losing your entire. She didn't lose her entire family.
Arasha
They're back.
Shane
They were fine. She showed up to Thanksgiving, and she was like, hey, yeah, that's crazy.
Arasha
That wasn't okay.
Shane
She's like, I'm sorry.
Courtney
This is the last time she's ever gonna like. It's truly like, I would never like, how could you do that with any inkling that you might see them again?
Arasha
Yeah, it seems like they don't care. That's just attached to her role.
Shane
And it's not even her worst offense.
Courtney
The family seems very forgiving. They're like, eh, Yeah, I spent $700. Well, that's not even the worst thing she's doing.
Shane
I know. I'm shocked. Like, they were like, willing to go this far. Like, what was it? I'm shocked they have any trust for her.
Courtney
Did she have a name?
Shane
No.
Courtney
Caitlin. Oh, there. Classic Caitlyn.
Arasha
Classic Caitlyn.
Shane
Op did comment other offenses. Yeah, worse offenses to name some. She's taken scholarship money for college from her son and used it for her own benefit. He never ended up going to college. She stole Social Security checks from my aunt with dementia who was in her care and has gotten involved with grimy people just to make money. Why are you talking.
Arasha
Okay, well, there you go.
Shane
Those are all.
Courtney
This scammer. She's a famously known scammer in her family. Wow. Holy crap. How did they fall for the wedding?
Arasha
Wow.
Courtney
Also, she has a kid.
Arasha
I'm just.
Shane
This is like old school.
Courtney
Yeah.
Arasha
Like, I'm having a hard time.
Shane
Like, hey, I'm good for the money. Come on. She's going to borrow a couple thousand.
Courtney
She makes you look like a pastor, a saint.
Shane
You gotta up your game.
Arasha
I did nothing wrong.
Shane
You got zero money out of boyfriend.
Courtney
She's an honest woman.
Shane
You did it for the love of the game.
Arasha
No, honestly, I'm having a hard time not being impressed. This is. She pulled off a lot.
Shane
Awful person.
Arasha
Terrible. Kind of cool, like, but awful.
Shane
No. Robbing your children, robbing your aunt with dementia.
Arasha
Objectively terrible.
Shane
The worst kind of thief.
Arasha
Horrific. And the fact that her family is still keeping her around, it's really sad.
Courtney
It's so interesting.
Shane
I know. I'm like, wait, yeah, come on.
Arasha
Like, at that point.
Courtney
Sorry. The son's in college now, so she's
Shane
like, well, the son can't.
Arasha
He can't go to college. Cause she took the scholarship money.
Courtney
Okay. But they said he never ended up going to college.
Shane
He never enjoyed college.
Courtney
This person is not just like a girl in her early 20s getting a little cash, getting a bag. Like, this is a grown, grown woman. Yeah.
Shane
Doing this stuff and she's just continued to do this. That sucks.
Courtney
Yeah.
Shane
Someone commented, is the groom still with her? Or did he leave her after that stunt? Op said, luckily he ended things very quickly after that, so at least he
Courtney
had the sense she's probably taking money from him, too.
Shane
Yes, someone said. So a whole wedding was planned without anyone really knowing the groom meeting his parents or anything like that? Hmm. Someone said, due to living in different cities, my mom and sisters in law didn't meet until the wedding day. It is rare, but it happens, Op said. Like I said, we have family from all over and don't live close. A lot of us have never even met the man, let alone knew what he looked like. My cousin's dating history is pretty terrible in itself, so we weren't surprised that she agreed to get married shortly after meeting him. But you're entitled to believe what you want. Lastly, someone said. Love, granddad. Well, at least we had a family reunion.
Courtney
That was true. That's true.
Arasha
That's an upside.
Courtney
It became an impromptu family reunion with food.
Arasha
Yeah, they got to collectively like shit on me.
Shane
Well, this was just another family reunion.
Courtney
We love a common enemy. Yes.
Arasha
Yes. She's doing them a favor.
Courtney
Jesus. She actually might be a saint, actually. Yeah.
Arasha
Honestly, not the asshole.
Shane
Honestly, best person we've ever heard.
Courtney
Yeah, I'm just picturing her, like, with a silk scarf around her hair. It's flowing in the wind. And she's driving away on the convertible, and there's like a blender in the passenger seat.
Shane
Yeah, that's what I mean. Like a bad. You didn't even get good shit out of this. Really?
Courtney
She got a blender?
Shane
You could have gotten, like. I'm like, more. You could be a better thief.
Courtney
Right?
Shane
Like, she's like Robin Hood, except she just steals from her family and gives it to herself. Yeah, yeah.
Arasha
Now I'm trying to think of, like, life events that you can fake and get more money out of. Not for me.
Courtney
Sweet 16.
Shane
Do you think anyone's ever faked their own death and gotten their own life insurance money?
Arasha
Oh, 100%.
Courtney
People do it all the time. They drive the car off the cliff, leave the license, the driver's license, and the car.
Shane
But then how do they pick up the life insurance money? Cause they're dead.
Courtney
Pretend they call be their mom.
Arasha
You get a really big trench.
Shane
And this is his mom. And I really need that money.
Courtney
Yeah. My son is gone in the wind. Can I collect his tickets?
Arasha
And he's got.
Courtney
And he's packing.
Shane
And he's packing penis.
Arasha
I just want to make sure you know that.
Shane
Just need you to know that. All right. That's going to be hard to top. That was a crazy one. All right, Caitlin, Our next story. This comes from Am I the asshole?
Courtney
Yes.
Shane
Am I the asshole for having a no ring, no bring wedding? Huh?
Courtney
No wing. No wing.
Arasha
No wing, no ring.
Shane
No wing.
Arasha
No. Oh, oh, I know this. I know this. I know this. I think I know this.
Shane
You heard of this?
Arasha
I think it's if you're not married to your plus one, they can't be there.
Shane
Oh, I've never heard of that.
Arasha
No ring, no bring. I think that's cool.
Courtney
Hotline, hotline, Hotline. Ring.
Arasha
I loved it. I loved it.
Courtney
I'm in a weird place today, guys.
Arasha
This is a great discussion to have, so I can't wait to hear the story.
Shane
No ring, no bring wedding. What?
Courtney
Okay, welcome to Weeding Wedded Stoies. All right, no wingdo boing. No wingdo wing into wind. Gone into wind.
Shane
Using a throwaway account for this I'm a 32 year old woman getting married to my fiance, a 35 year old man, next summer. We've been together since this January, which might seem sudden, but have been living together since Easter and both know that this is the relationship we want to be in forever. This was posted in November, so they've been living together since Easter. So half a year maybe. I am the last of my core friend group to get married and have playfully of course, been teased about being the last one standing since the second to last friend got married last year. That along with being the youngest sibling and youngest cousin means that there is no one important in my life who isn't already married or engaged when discussing wedding plans originally and in line with our budget and venue size, we realized quite quickly that we wouldn't be able to have many if any plus ones. To me, a plus one is a friend of a friend or unmarried, not engaged partner. From everything I knew about my fiance's friends that I'd met, they were all married and there is one couple engaged to be married next spring. He had often mentioned a friend, a 33 year old man who lived at the other end of the country and his partner 29 year old woman. I clarified they were not married or engaged and so only included the friend on the invite. What my fiance failed to tell me in advance was that this couple have been together for 10 years and will never get married due to some kind of trauma that the girlfriend has from her parents marriage growing up. Given the no plus one rule, unfortunately I couldn't make an exception for this once I was made aware I was contacted by the wife of my fiance's best man to ask why this friend and girlfriend were the only couple to not be invited together. And despite explaining the above, she thinks I could have been more flexible. My fiance is concerned that his friend won't attend the wedding. We are close to the RSVP deadline and we haven't yet had his response. But my own friends don't see an issue with the no ring, no bring as a rule, given how expensive weddings can be, especially with guests I don't really know. I personally just don't want to make things awkward at my fiance's friend's wedding in the spring. As we have been told, this couple will be attending. Okay, that's. It's like, I made this rule and I can't. I'm sorry, I can't break my. I can't break this rule. It's like, it's your wedding. Do whatever the hell you want.
Arasha
Totally, totally. This is a clear indication of the concept of, like, keeping something just because it's a rule or a ritual or a tradition. When it's like, there's exceptions, there's outliers. Like, there are reasons to break this made up rule that you made up.
Courtney
Yeah, yeah. Like the fact that these people have been together for over 10 years and because they haven't assumed a traditional role of their relationship, I'd be like, dude, there's an imaginary ring. They've been together 10 times longer than you guys have, if that. So that's very silly to. Even though the RSUP deadline has not happened, I thought, oh, it's too late. And literally the wedding's today. But it's like, no, there's time and you're just choosing to. That just feels very black and white and not fair.
Arasha
Yeah, it's like you're putting so much value on this concept of marriage and the ring is so big when it's like. I think when people are trying to use that rule, usually it's to signify a strength in relationship and a commitment. And I get the idea of like, oh, we want people at the wedding who will probably stick around in our lives. Like, eventually they'll get married or we'll see them down the line at maybe their wedding, like that kind of thing. But to strictly just be like, if you don't have a ring, then you don't come into the wedding. Like, that feels strictly.
Shane
It's bullshit. She's trying to remove any responsibility by acting like, oh, this rule was placed upon me. It's like, you Made it a fun rule because you thought it would be in line with everything you were already gonna do. Turns out that's not the case. You're gonna exclude one couple. Just let them come and call all your friends who aren't married and say like, hey, here's the number that can attend. So, like, I had to in order to get everybody.
Courtney
Yeah.
Shane
I can't have plus ones for all of you.
Courtney
I personally think. I think that they're just super into the marketing idea of no ring, no bring. When it's like, clearly she wasn't saying no plus ones unless you have a ring. It sounds like she was checking if people were engaged or not, married or not, and was like, okay, they're not. Okay. I'm only gonna put his name on the invite. So it's not even like a. Oh, and bring a plus one. It's like she's inviting people by name.
Shane
Yeah.
Arasha
Yeah.
Courtney
It's not like a casual. You can't have a plus one. It's just gymnastics at that point.
Arasha
Yeah. Like fixated on the expression for some reason. Like, they like that idea of it.
Shane
Yeah, it's really silly. The verdict is asshole.
Courtney
But of course.
Shane
Last thing I will say is, like, she's talking a lot about her experience and why this rule is, like, funny for her. We're not hearing much about the groom and it sounds like she's excluding the groom's friends.
Courtney
Mm.
Shane
It's sounding selfish to me. Seems a little personal.
Arasha
Yeah.
Shane
Comments? As someone who had been single for so long, you would think she would be more empathetic to unmarried people. She should know better. You're the asshole. Someone said you're the asshole. I'm sorry, I thought you and your husband were getting married. Why is everything about you? Oh, unfortunately I couldn't make an exception. Fuck out of here. It's your husband's wedding too. And if he's upset or concerned that his friend can't or won't attend, then why are you the only one that gets a say in the matter? Sounds like you and your friend group put far too much value on a ring. Someone said, easy fix. Invite her separately. I totally get that. You don't want people bringing dates just to make up the numbers, but 10 years is a long term relationship. Longer than a lot of marriages. If it's important to your future hubby to have his friend there, then make this one exception. Marriage is about compromise. Who all else is pressuring you for plus ones. This sounds like a non issue. Invite their long term partner and be Done with it. No one else knows the exact nature of everyone who is invited's relationship. You are impacting your future husband's friendships. You're the answer.
Courtney
Yeah. I think that's one thing I'll say, too, is like, I think whenever we read stories around weddings and choices made within the wedding, you can't treat it as an isolated choice. Like, it is a statement toward that relationship. Like, that choice is a message in a lot of ways. A lot of choices about weddings are a message. And it's sad that the groom's close friend is maybe not gonna go because they care about their partner. They might have been with their partner longer than they knew this friend.
Arasha
Definitely.
Courtney
Yeah. It's just selfish.
Arasha
I agree. I think it definitely feels like an individual choice. And it's what I was gonna say earlier that feels peculiar is the way that she described her relationship to marriage in the beginning of the post, talking about how no one pretty much important in her life is unmarried, which I found kind of strange.
Courtney
She did declare, like, hey, I got teased about being the last one. So.
Arasha
Yeah, yeah.
Shane
As that top comment points out, it's like, hey, like, you know what it feels like? Why are you doing this?
Arasha
Yeah. It's almost like she wants to turn it around and, like, give some shame to other people now that she's crossing the finish line.
Shane
It kind of reminds me of something that I struggle with a little bit. And I feel like in la, this is common of people who are so dedicated to an aesthetic that they're willing to ruin an event. You know, it's like, no, this is the theme. Like, this is the thing. And it's like, hey, man, due to what you want the optics of it to be, you're making it a bad time. Like, that's what she's putting this weird rule on this that is gonna ruin it.
Arasha
Yeah, it's definitely something deeper. I think knowing the idea that the relationship that she has to marriage, this expression, no ring, no bring, I think it is some sort of, like, underlying feeling that she has about it, which, again, makes sense. But it's important to dissect and make an exception, right? Yeah.
Courtney
Yeah.
Shane
Update.
Courtney
Update.
Shane
Update.
Courtney
Update.
Shane
No update.
Arasha
Save the date.
Courtney
Save the date. Gone with the wind.
Arasha
Update.
Courtney
Gone in the wind.
Shane
Gone in the wind.
Courtney
I see I said it properly that time.
Shane
All right, well, good luck to them. Yeah, whatever.
Arasha
Happiness to you, too.
Shane
Yeah, I hope you're happy.
Alex Kanchrowitz
Hi, this is Alex Kanchrowitz. I'm the host of Big Technology Podcast, a longtime reporter and an on air contributor to cnbc. And if you're like me, you're trying to figure out how artificial intelligence is changing the business world and our lives. So each week on Big Technology, I bring on key actors from companies building AI tech and outsiders trying to influence it, asking where this is all going. They come from places like Nvidia, Microsoft, Amazon, and plenty more. So if you want to be smart with your wallet, your career choices, in meetings with your colleagues, and at dinner parties, listen to Big Technology Podcast wherever you get your podcast.
Josh Spiegel
Hey, I'm Josh Spiegel, host of the
Shane
podcast Lunatic in the Newsroom. If you enjoy journalism that drifts into mild panic, wild overthinking, and a guaranteed nervous breakdown, Lunatic in the Newsroom is for you.
Narrator/Advertiser
It's news like you've never heard before.
Shane
The only newsroom with a panic button. You'll laugh, you'll cry and gasp in horror as the show spirals completely out of control. It's not just news, it's emotionally unstable
Narrator/Advertiser
Lunatic in the Newsroom.
Shane
Listen today.
Sponsor Voice
This episode of Reddit Stories is also sponsored by hungryroot. You're looking at a man whose groceries were planned and delivered to his door this week. You're looking at a man whose groceries hit every single one of his health goals and dietary preferences. You're also looking at a man whose groceries all came in under his current budget. You're looking at a man who uses Hungry Root. Hungryroot has it all. It makes sure to offer a variety of foods like snacks, supplemental meals, salad kits and kids meals, along with making sure the food is made of high quality ingredients. They source only high quality meat and seafood with no hormones or antibiotics, offer organic produce and non GMO options, and carry trusted healthy brands. I ordered the Barnana Organic Dark Chocolate Banana Bites from Hungryroot and they were so good.
Shane
And that was just one of the things that came in the box.
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Shane
This comes from wedding shaming. Best man speech was incredibly insulting to the couple.
Courtney
Oh best man.
Shane
We love. We love a horrible Best man speech.
Arasha
Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For those of you that don't know me, yeah.
Shane
Yo, Bobby, dude, this guy's crazy, dude. All right, here we go. I was a guest at a wedding, knew both the groom and the bride before they started dating, and they are both very lovely, kind people. The groom's family had an attitude of, it's about time. Having seen the groom date people, party in the city, et cetera. He was not old by any means. Early mid-30s. The best man was the groom's brother, and his speech still lives rent free in my head. He got up and started off with some jabs about typical family brother, athletic banter, and then turn to the couple. He goes on to explain that their relationship is similar to how the groom shops at ikea. You go through the store. So many options. What about that one? What about this one? Can't make up his mind. So you keep moving and eventually you get to the warehouse area where you pick up the parts. And then right before the checkout line, you look to your left and see the return slash incomplete bin and grab something out of there right before checking out. HE CHUCKLES at this point and the entire audience is silent except for someone who audibly says, what the fuck?
Arasha
That would be Spencer.
Shane
And then someone came to grab the mic away from him. As he was raising a glass to the couple, his own brother roasted him and her, comparing her to the last possible option, broken or damaged. At one point, a family member of the bride had to be restrained from a fight. I think it was her cousin slash friend. Not sure. The buffet line was super awkward right after that and everyone was talking about it for the rest of the night. Luckily, the couple brushed it off and didn't let it dominate the night. I would have been out for blood, but they kept it classy. A distant relative said, I've been going to weddings my entire life. Ain't nothing as bad as that crap. Woof.
Courtney
Okay. I, like, couldn't even grasp what the best man was saying.
Shane
Yeah, he was saying, you go through Ikea, like, you see everything.
Courtney
You're shopping and you're looking good options.
Shane
And then right before you check out at Ikea, there's the incomplete, there's the broken. Bullshit stuff.
Courtney
Right, right.
Shane
That's really cheap. And you just grab it right before you check out.
Courtney
I know what's so crazy is, like, I'm like, oh, so what are you. So he's checking out with some. So I have notes. I have notes. It's also, oh, so you found something great and you're checking out. But also, you found something lost and damaged in this other section. Yeah. It doesn't even work.
Arasha
Unfunny. Bad writing.
Shane
Yeah. Like, if you're gonna insult someone, at least have it be like a good analogy.
Courtney
Yes.
Alex Kanchrowitz
Right?
Shane
Yes.
Arasha
Make it juicier.
Shane
Yeah. This was dumb and also mean.
Courtney
And your brother.
Arasha
That is heartbreaking.
Courtney
Was he drunk? Was he drunk, Shane?
Shane
It sounds a little planned, though. It was actually too. It was too good to be like. He might have been drunk, but I think he kind of thought about this before he was drunk.
Arasha
You think he thought he was gonna, like, eat?
Shane
I think he thought, like, this is awesome.
Arasha
Is he gonna, like, E? E?
Shane
Well, I mean, look, not reading that hard into it. It is objectifying too. Like, he. The way he's talking about, like, I'm like, I think I know what this guy thinks about women just based on how he's talking about women being things that you go through IKEA and just grab or whatever.
Arasha
Even just the idea of shopping.
Shane
Yeah.
Arasha
Like what?
Courtney
Hello?
Shane
He could pick whatever he wanted and he chose that broken bullshit.
Courtney
And I thought the speech was gonna go like. And then he looked left and he saw a gorgeous, juicy, shiny hot dog at the food court. And that and you actually. Yeah.
Arasha
And wouldn't we all enjoy that more?
Shane
Wouldn't we?
Courtney
And then that joke is gone in the wind.
Shane
It would have been. That would have been fun.
Arasha
You guys need to get a writer's room.
Courtney
Yes.
Arasha
You and the groom.
Shane
Let's workshop that.
Courtney
I don't wann this groom the best man.
Arasha
You can punch him up.
Courtney
I can punch him. Punch him up.
Shane
Out of all the wedding speeches I've heard on Reddit stories, that's definitely in the top three.
Arasha
That's awful.
Courtney
And it's not even well constructed.
Shane
No, no. It's poorly written.
Arasha
The couple is. I'm very impressed by the couple.
Courtney
Yeah.
Arasha
I feel like they're being classy. Wow. I don't know if. I don't know.
Shane
I also gotta give mad props to the person in the back just, what the fuck?
Courtney
Yes. Yeah.
Arasha
Did I just hear that?
Courtney
Someone needs to love that. I think the couple probably were like, well, everyone got to react for us. And like, maybe they weren't surprised by this brother. You know, you never know.
Sophia Wilson
Yeah.
Shane
They were in their corner.
Arasha
Totally. And it does. Like, he did his own shame.
Shane
He was the best man.
Courtney
I mean, best man and brother.
Arasha
You're right.
Shane
So the brother had to have at least had some respect.
Courtney
Well, I think.
Shane
Or felt pressured sometimes.
Courtney
It depends on where it comes from, the decisions for a wedding. It's like, well, I have to make my brother my best man because he's my brother.
Arasha
True. A lot of people do it out of obligation. Just because you're a sibling, there's reasons.
Shane
Comments Everyone wants to be the funny man. In reality, most people should simply be a little sentimental and a lot concise. Wedding speeches aren't your opportunity to be a standup comedian. Say something nice about the groom. Say something nice about the bride. Say something nice about them as a couple. Toast and put the microphone down. Nothing more is needed. 4,000 upvotes someone said. I remember one story here, as in on Reddit, where the maid of honor, a childhood friend of the bride, decided to regale the guests by sharing how when she'd sleep over at the bride's house as kids, they'd go out into the yard late at night and poop in the morning. Father of the bride would find it and blame the dog. So she concluded with a sparkly smile, now you know it was us all along. By this point, the bride's face could not have been deeper in her palms.
Arasha
That's an awesome story.
Shane
That's a great story.
Courtney
I'd rather the best man take a shit on the floor than say that to the cops.
Arasha
You can pick up the shit and toss it at me in my white dress, but don't do that.
Courtney
But don't call me a piece of furniture.
Shane
Someone said, my husband has horrible social anxiety and was the best man at his best friend's wedding. He was dreading the toast and went last. After everyone had given their long, heartfelt, sometimes funny, sometimes awkward toasts, people were ready for cake and dancing. He stood up and just said, I'm so happy for you too. I love you guys. It was perfect.
Courtney
Aw.
Shane
Someone said, best man sucks. But kudos to the person who said, what the fuck? And to the mic confiscator. I've read so many stories of situations in which people were too stunned to call out the asshole behavior. Yeah, someone said to be generous. I get that. He was maybe trying to say, hey, my brother found something he wasn't expecting at the last minute, but not the right comparison. A friend went to a wedding once when the best man said, you know, I'm happy for them. She seems fine. That was apparently not what the best man had meant to say, but he got stage fright and totally blanked on his speech. Bride and grood still gave him a hard time. Lastly, someone said, what if the bride had just left being compared with damaged things picked up as the last option is not what you want to hear on your day.
Courtney
No. Wow. He took us on a journey.
Shane
He took us on a really bad journey. Nobody even wants to go through IKEA on a good day.
Courtney
Yeah.
Arasha
Ikea.
Shane
I like IKEA for, like, the first half. And then it feels like a movie that goes on too long where I'm like, all right, yes. Oh, we're bringing up rooms that I forgot about.
Arasha
And I'm like, yeah, this makes me think too, like, how much of a wedding is just what we do because it's what other people do. Like, do we need the maid of honor and the best man speeches? Do we need, like, do we need any of it?
Shane
Certain things, you know, you can be whatever you want.
Courtney
When we did, like, our big family celebration, we chose to each do a speech, and then we were like, okay. And then we'll just do no speeches, just so it's fair to everyone. And sometimes I look back and I wish, like, what if I just let the mic get passed around? Like, what would people have said? Just like. Cause it could be funny. Like, what do people. I don't know. But also you might hear something you never wish you had heard.
Shane
Yeah.
Courtney
But, yeah, we chose of, like, we will thank everyone for being there. And, like, we don't want anybody to feel left out.
Shane
What I think about, though, is, like, how many times I hear about, like, when people have these opportunities for speeches and stuff. It's like, don't try to be funny. Like, it's just. It's like, yeah, if there's something that's a really sentimental funny joke, sure. But I'm like, the amount of times that people go for the funny thing, and it's insulting. Cause it's selfish. It's like, oh, are you trying to get a laugh? Or are you trying to make that person feel special? Like, when you're giving a speech, especially at a wedding, the point is to give the spotlight.
Arasha
Yeah.
Shane
Which is kind of opposite in so many other situations where you're giving speeches. Cause maybe it's like, oh, you won an award. Or like, you're, you know, like, maybe a graduation thing. But this is a very unique one where you're not trying to have the spotlight.
Arasha
And the easiest comedy is just shitting on another person.
Courtney
Right.
Shane
It's the lowest common denominator.
Courtney
And it's like wedding jokes or marriage jokes. I feel like they are originally so deep rooted in just like, domestic issues and just like the old ball and chain. Me. Old whatever.
Arasha
Like, me Old with those speeches too. I find it so funny. I've gone to a handful of weddings where people, and, you know, with the right amount of taste, you can do it, but a lot of people also choose to go up there and make jokes about them being single.
Courtney
Yeah.
Shane
You know, it's just like, once again, it's like you're taking the spotlight away. You're talking about yourself. Like, it's not like, yes, if I'm a guest at a wedding where I don't know anybody, I'm entertained by it all.
Arasha
Yeah, right.
Shane
But truthfully, it's like, if you're there and this is someone you care about and they're getting married, this is kind of almost more of an opportunity to talk directly to them and be like, this is a core memory. Like, what do I want you to remember forever?
Arasha
Totally true.
Shane
Huge day for them. Instead of thinking about, like, I'm in front of all these people, it's like, no, you're kind of on the spot for your friend right now.
Arasha
Yeah.
Shane
It's just you and them. You and them.
Arasha
That's sweet.
Shane
Our next one comes from wedding shaming. Another wedding shaming story. They want my daughter to be a flower girl at their wedding, but I'm not invited.
Courtney
Okay, well, let's hear the relationships. Let's hear the relationships.
Arasha
Break it down.
Shane
Have I been eating crazy cakes? Am I off base? I really need to know. Have I been eating crazy cakes?
Arasha
Am I going in the wind right now?
Shane
Am I going in the wind right now?
Courtney
Am I eating crazy cakes?
Shane
Am I eating crazy cakes? I want to be eating crazy cakes. That sounds awesome.
Courtney
Amen. Damn, Shane. Ooh.
Arasha
Damn.
Shane
Okay.
Courtney
Damn.
Shane
I am. Fuck.
Courtney
Shay wants that crazy cake.
Shane
I go into Susie, I go to Suzie cakes. I'm like, do you guys have any crazy cakes? They're like, come to the back.
Arasha
Yeah. They're like, dude, you're the one that reads Reddit stories.
Shane
Do you read Reddit stories?
Arasha
I'm like, no, just the cakes, man.
Shane
Just the cakes. Just show me the cakes. Becky is someone I have known for many years. We are in the same social circle, more like friends of friends. But we are not super close. It's really more like an acquaintance I run into from time to time. I do see them and hang out with them at gatherings, probably three to four times per year. But I've never been to their house nor them to mine. I'm a single parent to an 11 year old girl and I received a call from Becky who has never called me in her life. Before this, asking if my daughter would do the honor of being a flower girl because there are no other young kids in her family. Side note, my daughter would eat that up. She'd love to be a flower girl. I asked for the wedding date and where it was, and she told me that it was at a winery in the middle of nowhere, almost two hours driving from where we live. But she also said that it's an extremely intimate wedding for family and a few very close friends. And unfortunately, there wouldn't be room for me at either the ceremony or reception. I'm sure you can understand.
Courtney
Okay.
Shane
I told her I'd have to look into it and call her back because honestly, I was too stunned to reply. Listen, I have zero problems not being invited to anyone's wedding. You do. You and your day. No problem. But let me get this straight. Becky wants me to spend the time and money on getting a flower girl dress and shoes, drive my kid two hours away to a winery in the middle of nowhere and drop her off unsupervised with a bunch of adults. And I should do what? Wait in the car? Wait down the road? Wait in the bathroom? Wait in the kitchen with the caterers? LOL. There isn't even a cafe within a 30 minute drive. Am I off base thinking this is just totally bonkers?
Arasha
No, that's crazy, case.
Shane
Totally bonkers.
Courtney
FBI, open up.
Shane
Yeah, I'm like, you're sketchy, dude.
Courtney
Yes. Can you send your child to this winery in the middle of nowhere unsupervised for us? Like, what? Yeah, that sounds insane.
Arasha
It's actually like. It's like, gross. Like, it's like, you don't have kids. Here, let me take yours.
Courtney
Dropping off a.
Shane
Yeah. Your 11 year old is gonna be alone here with a bunch of adults
Courtney
they don't know at a winery where they're drinking.
Shane
Yeah. This is atrocious.
Arasha
No, that's awful.
Courtney
They want to cast a flower girl for a wedding and not even have a chaperone for this chi. It's a child. Yeah.
Shane
No, they're making Ikea man look really good right now.
Courtney
Truly, truly.
Arasha
A flower girl doesn't have to be a child. Let me just say, I would eat that up.
Courtney
I think it could be a sleigh, honestly.
Shane
No, get the oldest person there. That's the epic move.
Arasha
That's awesome.
Courtney
Gorgeous. Have her in a goddess wrap fabric. And the flowers are not in a little basket. It's in those. The fruit of the loom baskets. And she's like holding it under the arm. She's like cornucopia and so gorgeous.
Shane
I'll do you one better. Get a Roomba. Let it just roll down.
Courtney
It's gonna suck them up, Shane. It's gonna suck the flowers up.
Shane
A reverse funnel.
Arasha
Reverse. Yeah, to hit the other squid girl.
Shane
That eats them up.
Courtney
And then you know what? They eat them up. You know what roombas use? You know what roombas use to do that?
Shane
What?
Courtney
Sucking air. Those flowers will be gone in the wind.
Shane
It uses wind.
Arasha
No.
Courtney
I loved it. No. So no. So thank you, guys. A beat.
Arasha
An unbeat clap.
Shane
No, this is. This is someone who I think has just maybe not been around kids in a long time.
Arasha
This is creepy.
Shane
They don't understand how kids work. They're just like, yeah, can we just grab that kid?
Arasha
Just have him give us a kid from flowers.
Shane
Just let that kid just run around. Whatever. We'll give him some wine.
Courtney
There's so many weddings with no flower girl. Like, literally, if the child isn't signi. They're like, it's a really intimate wedding except for this strange child who will be throwing plants.
Shane
They're calling up someone they talk to three times a year. They're going, yo, can I borrow your kid for my wedding?
Courtney
Yes, absolutely. Why not?
Arasha
I'm actually thinking about that now too. Like somebody that you see three times a year and just being like, can I have your stranger kid?
Shane
It's like, who are you marrying? And she's like, oh, my husband's name is William Afton. Just like, yeah, no, yeah.
Courtney
No, it's fnaf. It's fnaf.
Shane
Fanath.
Arasha
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no.
Shane
Yeah.
Courtney
I'm like, yeah, okay. If my daughter wears a body cam, I'm not like, that is down the aisle. That is so beyond weird. I'm reporting you. I'm recording you with my child's body cam.
Arasha
Yes.
Shane
Comments. You're right, this is bonkers. I'd be saying no. No matter how much she would love being a flower girl, I would not be leaving my 11 year old daughter alone with a bunch of people she didn't know who would be drinking 7,000 upvotes.
Arasha
Think about how scary that is to down the aisle. Like just the flower girl being like, I don't know.
Shane
I mean, she said her daughter would be cool with it, but the person asking does not know anything about this daughter. They're just like, yeah, random kid. Yeah, come on.
Courtney
Absolutely not.
Shane
Of course. Like, if I would never want to put a kid in that situation.
Arasha
No. And I'm sure too, the mom is speaking in a way of like, she would love to be the flower girl, surrounded by maybe her relatives, surrounded by people that she knows and is comfortable with. But put her in a strange environment, and she's probably like, why am I putting flowers on the ground right now?
Courtney
But also not even having supervision. 11 is not even old enough to babysit a younger sibling when the parents are away. That shouldn't be.
Shane
11 is arguably kind of the worst age to be stuck at a wedding by yourself too. Cause you're not a little tiny kid that doesn't.
Arasha
No, it's not.
Shane
You're 11. You're definitely like, what the hell am I doing at this wedding? Yeah, but you're also not a teenager where you're just like. You're like, I don't know. That would suck.
Arasha
That would suck.
Courtney
I'm side eyeing this family for the end of. Till the end of time. Yeah.
Shane
I'd be like, you guys are sketchy.
Courtney
Are you on a list?
Arasha
I like that she. I just feel like I have to make note of it. I like that she was like, let me get back to you. Instead of just immediately emotionally reacting and being like, hold on, is this. Am I crazy? And now she has the full wherewithal, hopefully to call back and be like, no, definitely not.
Shane
You guys are in the wrong. Someone else said, it's also a red flag that the bride supposedly doesn't have anyone closer to her with kids than Op, who's an acquaintance. If they don't have any kids in their life, why would they want a random one in their wedding photos? Someone said, I think the red flag isn't that she doesn't know anyone with kids, but rather that she wants a child that she doesn't know at all to be part of her wedding. For the sake of aesthetic, a child is not your prop. And yeah, obviously not knowing that kids don't just attend weddings on their own is a. Is daft. I 100% agree that the kid would be completely ignored once their duty was done. Someone else said, I would suspect Op's daughter is a beautiful child. And this entitled bride wants the appearance of a picture perfect wedding because all other possibilities are creepy or just weird.
Arasha
Right?
Shane
Someone said, your daughter is not a prop for her Instagram wedding. Yeah, exactly.
Courtney
She wants to hope that that's the reason. Yeah, yeah.
Arasha
I would say that it's the aesthetics as well. Likely she wants like that cutie aww moment when the flower girl comes out and she wants everyone to be like, amazed at it and it's just like you can't get that?
Shane
No, you don't have a kid update.
Courtney
Let's go, let's go. Every eye, open up.
Shane
Boop boop boop.
Courtney
We're here with the wind. We're here in the wind.
Shane
We have the wind with us. They say you're in the building. The wind is gonna speak to you now. Honey, honey. Sorry. Okay.
Arasha
Sorry. She's in the wind.
Courtney
She's in the wind.
Shane
She's in the wind.
Courtney
She's in the wind.
Shane
So this text message string is from a few months ago and I'm just getting around to posting the updates. We got screenshots, we got the receipt of text messages. All right, OP Right. Unfortunately, we are unavailable at that time. Sending warm wishes that your wedding is everything you've dreamed of and wish you both the best in your new life together. Congratulations.
Arasha
Classy.
Courtney
Scot free.
Shane
They write back for real. Two question marks. You're busy over a year from now. Just say you don't want to do it or are broke. Just say you don't want to do it or are a brokey. Lol. I was trying to do something nice and include you, your kid in my day and you can't even be honest. So rude. I don't know why you're acting like this. OP writes back. Come again? Wtf? I tried to take the high road, but you had to push it. So let's get this straight. You asked me to dress up my 11 year old child, spend time and money to drive her two hours away to a remote winery and hand her off unsupervised to a group of adults she doesn't know just so she can perform in your ceremony while I checks notes, wait alone outside like the hired help. Let's call it what it is. What you are asking for is a prop, A glorified insta accessory. Not a guest, not an actual human being. I decline politely and you accuse me of being rude? What the fuck? What's rude is treating my child like a decorative accessory, a fucking prop. And if that's not bad enough right there, but then you add acting entitled to her presence without extending even the most basic respect to her parents. The fact that you don't even see a problem with this is exactly why the answer is no.
Courtney
Yeah, bitch.
Shane
Seriously, what the fuck are you thinking? You are completely delusional. Please stop texting because you can fuck right off. I won't change my mind. Okay, my queen. They continue to write Reader, I have to confess that the two glasses of cabernet Dragon woke up inside me and I did. Yay.
Courtney
She was drinking a coffee.
Shane
I've been off on a ramp. Was it my finest moment? Absolutely not. Did I say fuck right off near the end? Yep, that was me.
Courtney
Yes.
Shane
And I blame the wine and the fucking audacity of. Well, all of it. On the plus side, she never replied and it has been months, so I assume the role of unpaid child actor went to central casting and this episode is closed.
Arasha
Wow. Holy shit.
Courtney
Wow.
Shane
Yeah. They went to central casting. Got someone who's over 18 to play younger.
Arasha
Yes. You know what? I am interested.
Shane
Wow.
Arasha
You can get a rush and I will do it.
Courtney
What in the world?
Arasha
That's so crazy.
Shane
To see actual texts and be like, damn, this isn't fake. Like, this. Someone really did this.
Courtney
For real?
Arasha
For real. Or like, just tell me if you're a brokey.
Courtney
Like, there's gonna be so many casting directors at this wedding. This is an incredible opportunity for your daughter.
Arasha
Hate that, hate that, hate that.
Shane
Wow.
Arasha
Okay, so she sucks.
Shane
She's awful.
Courtney
Yeah. And we love a woman who's mad after a couple glasses of wine.
Arasha
Yes, we do. Yes, we do. Cabernet Dragon, send a link.
Shane
Do not talk to any woman after she's had two glasses of wine. You're not gonna get. No, just you wait.
Courtney
No.
Arasha
You love me when I'm hangry, but
Shane
you hate me when I'm. Two glasses of Cabernet Dragon. You hate me.
Arasha
And that's our speech.
Shane
And that's why Brent and Sydney, you guys are the best.
Courtney
Still better than the IKEA best man.
Shane
You guys are. So, Brett, when you went to Chili's and you ordered the triple dipper, but you only found you found the one, though.
Courtney
And then.
Arasha
But I always there to finish your meals because I love you.
Courtney
I love drugs.
Arasha
You're sitting in the crowd and you're like, okay, yay. Have a yay.
Shane
I would pay money to go to a wedding where the bride and groom are giving those types of speeches to each other that are so atrocious.
Courtney
Oh, yeah.
Shane
Where it's like, babe, you're so friggin hot. You know, just wanna. Yeah. Like where she. And she's just like, brett, I can't wait to make you pancake. For sure, babe.
Sponsor Voice
Yeah.
Shane
She's like, yeah, babe, for sure.
Courtney
Did we do a time to laugh bit of that?
Arasha
Did we?
Courtney
Or it's like you say stupid shit
Shane
and you're just like, yeah.
Arasha
Yes, yes.
Shane
Oh, it's the best.
Courtney
Thanks for letting me game.
Shane
Letting me game with my boy.
Courtney
Can we go to pound time with
Shane
you and then play Skyrim after she's. Oh, my God. All right, we have to move on.
Courtney
Okay, we have more.
Shane
Our next story comes from relationship advice. He won't dance at our fucking wedding. I think I found my deal breaker. Oh. He's a 25 year old woman and a 30 year old man. Oh. We've been together five years, we're engaged, planning a wedding, and he won't dance. Says he doesn't want to. He's even pushing for choosing a venue that has no capacity for dancing at all. What?
Arasha
Hasn't even dancing.
Shane
He can't dance. No, honey, dance. This stuff doesn't exist at our wedding. I know. I meant to offer a backstory about our relationship, but this is it. Our entire relationship in a nutshell. I want to do something because it's important to me and would take mere minutes of his time, and he won't do it because it's lame, boring, annoying. He is physically and mentally capable of dancing. He just doesn't want to. The same way he doesn't want to do the dishes or cook dinner or clean.
Courtney
Oh, oh, wait, we're gonna back up on that. So you're getting married?
Shane
The second he wants to do something, we do it, no questions asked. I learned to ski for him. I put up with his family. I host parties I don't want for people I don't like because he wants me to. And yes, he does dance at those. I. I know I do all I can to make sure his life is improved by having me in it because I want him to be happy. And I have asked for one fucking thing. To dance with my husband at our wedding over a year from now, and he doesn't want to. And any push for him to do it leads to him saying I'm pressuring him to do something he doesn't want to do. Despite the rant, I do love him. He's a good partner and we want the same things and we've been together for years and he loves me, but he won't dance with me at our fucking wedding. How do I tell him that this is important to me and I need him to do this for me without making him feel pressured.
Courtney
What in the world? Pressured to go like this?
Shane
We cue back to what we were saying earlier of girls posting their boyfriends and being like, yeah, so he doesn't clean the dishes and he doesn't respect me. And then another. Like the second post is, guys, stop leaving hate in the comments. Stop. He's Great.
Arasha
He loves me.
Shane
She actually loves me.
Courtney
She led with that, too. She was, guys, this is what he's doing. And he's done this her whole relationship, by the way. She's like, this is the entire tone of our relationship, by the way. It doesn't sound like it's been a deal breaker for this person, but it should be. The wedding is the most important time to show up for your partner. Arguably, for a lot of people, it can be. So if he can't do this one thing that he does in other weddings.
Shane
She posted this on relationship advice, and I'm like, what advice are you seeking right now? Because you give us all this shit and you go, but I do love him. And he's actually great. I'm like, what do you, what response do you want here?
Arasha
Okay, I think I've got it. I think I've got it, actually.
Courtney
Okay.
Arasha
It can get tricky when it's in the territory of, like, how much am I changing this person versus how much are they helping me grow?
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Shane
Wait, what?
Josh Spiegel
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Arasha
And just because I could see from her standpoint of possibly reasoning her way out of breaking up with this man, of just thinking like, oh, maybe he is right, like I am again, pressuring him, or I, I'm asking him to do something that's uncomfortable. She has enough evidence, I think, to make the decision of, no, wait, like, he's dancing at Other weddings. And he's not doing things like household chores that make them on an equal plane. Like, that feels enough to where she should. But maybe that's the gap. That's where she's struggling, is validating herself and feeling confident in separating from him. I'm sure he shows up in lots of other ways. And she's not just listing that.
Courtney
I hope so.
Arasha
So that's probably what, like, masks over everything.
Shane
Yeah. It's hard, though. Like, I have to assume there's a bunch that she's not telling us.
Arasha
Of course.
Shane
Because what she's saying is he does all the stuff he wants to do, but never wants to do anything for me. And I'm like, well, if that's your. She says at the beginning, too, that's our relationship in a nutshell. And I'm like, so it's bad.
Courtney
Yeah.
Shane
So you're telling us it's not good.
Arasha
Yeah, like, she's being a good partner, but he isn't.
Courtney
Yeah, he's not there for her. She's making sacrifices for him, but he's not willing to do that. I also think it's just knowing that he does dance at other gatherings and stuff that are. When it's on his terms. It feels like he's making this choice control move. Like, I will not dance at our wedding. Cause I've been in a relationship where someone denies me a thing because they know. They almost find it funny that it hurts me so much that they deny me this one thing that is as simple as dancing at a thing. And also, I. I relate to a lot of this. She's like, I learned to ski for him. I put up with his family. I hear that. And I'm like, oh, so is he not even willing to get to know your family? And you guys are about to merge families. I'm. Obviously, I have a personal bias in this one, so I'm reading into it, but. Oof. A wedding is an important time, and some people get premarital counseling to make sure they're doing the right thing.
Shane
Yeah.
Arasha
So, yeah, I think I would suggest that too. Yeah.
Courtney
I mean. Cause I think what also she's saying is, like, should I make this a deal breaker? Could mean a couple things at once. It means, should I really hold strong to this and make him choose? Or is it like, is this the reason that I break up with him? It's kind of like. It feels like it's both of those things.
Arasha
That's exactly what I was thinking as well, of, like, it seems like it's Building up. The wedding is approaching. And now she's. Now would be a great time for someone to give me permission to get out of this, if possible. Especially. Cause dancing seems to be like. At least dancing at the wedding. It's something that she's clearly valuing. And she's like, well, this I really, really want. So now I finally have to ask the question, should I separate?
Shane
Yeah.
Courtney
Yeah. Cause it's not about the dancing. Obviously, dancing is fun and nice, but it's clearly like, oh, you don't see how much when something is important to me, how it should be important to you too. And like, yeah, I hear you on, like, the should. This. Is this my reason? Is it okay that this is my reason to back out? But it's like being married and getting married's a big thing. Like, you don't have to have a reason. If you don't feel ready, you don't feel ready.
Arasha
But I think that counseling is a great option, honestly. It doesn't have to be like an end all. Be all of like, okay, great, you're not dancing. That's it. But it can be a conversation of like. So I've noticed this pattern with this particularly. It's really important to me. I'd really like to figure out this stuff before we get married. And then in counseling, you can actually break it down. You might hear more situations or experiences that he's having. And that might be enough to be like, okay, I can make this decision and not go through with the wedding.
Shane
Yeah. A few comments here. Someone put in the quotations the same way. He doesn't want to do the dishes or cook dinner or clean. That's a bigger deal breaker for me. OP said, I can live with that. It's annoying. But he does earn slightly more and works an extra half an hour each day plus commute while I work from home. And he's terrible at all forms of housework. So I figured that was just something I would have to live with and accommodated. Accommodated for.
Courtney
No.
Arasha
He works an extra half hour.
Shane
So I figured that was just something I would have to live with and accommodated for. But this is just. No, this is the limit. This comment was downvoted. No surprise.
Arasha
Yeah.
Shane
Someone said, I understand you love him, but do you like him? Can you happily picture yourself sacrificing your happiness, your mental well being, your time, just to not upset a grown man over the fact he doesn't want to do the dishes? It sounds more like you're his mom, to be honest. Whether he's aware of what he's doing or not. I think this is the moment where you realize that no matter how much you give for him, he won't do the same for you, even if it's small. I would consider postponing the wedding until you are on equal footing to the point you can ask him to do this his part. And you feel like even your smallest requests are met with respect. Op said, I like him most of the time. He's charming and funny and we're really compatible. But he can be such a pain in the arse when he wants to be. I do 95% of the housework because he either doesn't want to do things or he does them so badly that I have to fix it. I feel like his mother some days because of that. But then he apologizes and puts in an effort around the house, and eventually he slips back.
Courtney
I'm gone in the wind I'm gone in the wind. Can we unpack this a little bit? Can we just unpack that a little bit? Like, just, he doesn't want to or is bad at them, which is weaponized incompetence. And she's like, well, he makes a little bit more money than me. She still works. Just because she works from home does not dismiss that she has a job. And so she's falling into a dynamic of male privilege. Sorry, guys. I'm saying the word of like, well, because he doesn't want to. I'm going to assume this role which people fall into. And it's not. Not everybody wants to be in that role. And it sounds like she isn't satisfied with that role. Like, ooh. And it doesn't sound like she wants to be in that dynamic forever, but she's fallen into a dynamic of. Of he's in charge and he's in control.
Arasha
And yeah, yeah, that first comment was really big for me. Honestly, I think I really liked that that person just quoted it and said, that would be a bigger deal breaker for me because that then doesn't also put words in Op's mouth. And it doesn't say, you should do this or tell him this. Cause you're right. Not everybody wants that role. Some people do.
Courtney
Some people are fine with it. Yeah.
Arasha
I think the best advice that this person should take, in my opinion, would be to just, like, reflect on her personal values and actually understand what she's looking for in a partner. If what she says is true, that that stuff doesn't bother her, that's totally fine. But then why is the dancing a bigger issue? What's the difference there. And really try to dissect. And I don't want to say negotiate, because it's not like a business deal, but compromise. Maybe communicate with your partner and be like, these are the things that are important to me. I understand that you don't wanna do these things, and I don't mind doing them, but can we do this?
Shane
This is reading to me like one of the stories where we'll get an update and she will then reveal the worst things that he's done. Right. Because right now this is sounding very controlling. And you mentioned male privilege. And it seems very much like his values are that he is first priority here. He gets to do all his stuff. She's not allowed to get her stuff. And that's just what he sees as being right. That he gets to determine the rules of everything. And a lot of it, you know, it's like, it's the unfortunate thing where maybe he's dumb and really bad at housework, but also a lot of people very carefully, you know, it's the weaponized incompetence. Very carefully and strategically do everything to make the relationship super cushy for them.
Courtney
Yes.
Shane
And this is just coming across as a real lack of respect for her.
Arasha
Yeah, I saw, like, that.
Shane
If what she's saying is true.
Arasha
Yes. I saw a TikTok that was basically that too. I'm sure you guys maybe saw it too. Cause it went really viral. It was like this guy folding a blanket while his wife was cleaning the rest of the room. And he was just sort of pretending not to, like, he was like, folding it and then, like. And then, like, unfolding it and just, like, doing that for, like, 15 minutes. Oh, and she was cleaning, like, the rest of the room. And then at the very end, she, like, comes over and grabs the blanket and like, folds it in three seconds and puts it down. And all the comments were like, hey, girly. Like, he's doing that on purpose.
Courtney
Oh, my God.
Arasha
He's 100% weaponized incompetence is what you said.
Courtney
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Arasha
Like, that feels like exactly like that. He just was, like, pretending to struggle so he wouldn't have to do anything.
Shane
And then her next post was like, guys, he's really great most of the time.
Arasha
He cooks really well.
Shane
Yeah. Yeah. Another comment said, ask him what the difference between dancing at the parties you have been at versus your wedding. Why doesn't he feel comfortable? What's the difference? Op said, I already asked him that. Thinking that it was the amount of attention or the setting or if he thought he'd be a mess on the day. And I suggested compromises to help with these potential issues, like us dancing alone for the first 30 seconds to one minute and then having other couples come to the floor, or letting him choose the song, or literally just standing in one spot and swaying without moving our feet.
Courtney
Just get a little drunk. Let the music flow through you.
Shane
But he just says he doesn't want to. And dancing at weddings is dumb. Lame.
Courtney
That's a lot.
Shane
Yeah, it's just.
Courtney
Why are you getting married if you think it's dumb?
Arasha
It's just like, there's no. It's what you said. You're just not caring for your partner to be happy at all. If you know that this would make your partner smile naturally, I feel like you would be like, oh, then let me do this to make them happy.
Shane
Right.
Arasha
And this person's like, no, I don't want that.
Shane
Yeah, that's not someone you want to marry. Like, that's not love.
Arasha
No.
Shane
Not respect. No update.
Arasha
You were holding on to that.
Shane
This was posted three days later.
Courtney
Three days.
Arasha
Three days.
Courtney
Three days. A lot can happen in three days. You could be gone in the wings.
Arasha
You could be so gone.
Shane
So my ex fiance.
Arasha
Uh oh, uh oh.
Courtney
Who's dancing now.
Shane
So my ex fiance got dragged through the fucking mud on my first post, and I say that in the most grateful way possible. I was alternating between defending him and resignation in the comments, but I ultimately decided to hash this out with him, thinking that if I restated how important dancing at our wedding was to me, along with a few other issues the first post brought up, such as me doing overwhelming majority of the housework and made clear that I was thinking of leaving. He might fully get the gravity of the situation and he would either shape up or ship out. And I think that from the tone of this post and the title, you can tell which one he chose to do. He was actually angry that I dared to tell him I needed things to be more balanced between us. I said it needed to be give and take on both sides, not just me giving and him taking. And he said, I can't just change everything about us. Right before over a year, our wedding, he took the ring back and went to stay with his family. The breakup happened on the same day as my post. So 1st of October. I felt really lonely the last couple days. So yesterday the third, I asked a few girlfriends to come over tonight, the fourth, for a meal or a drink or a movie or whatever. Two of the four people I invited didn't respond at all. The third was really hostile. And the fourth asked if I was aware that my ex was telling people he caught me cheating on and showed me some screenshots of an Instagram and Facebook post he made. I have a childhood friend, a guy who I reconnected with last year. We never dated, but were always close and fooled around once or twice as teens. And my ex had said he was fine with us being friends, but now he's saying that we were sleeping together. I've told the friends I contacted what really happened, and while two of them have accepted that the other two have left me on read, I've not even checked my own social media because I have no clue what I'll find. Show the Reddit. I might need advice again. Any ideas on what to do about this? Regarding my ex, my friend who's been being accused, or the mutual friends that my ex has apparently already told?
Courtney
Show them the Reddit post. Show them the Reddit post.
Arasha
And the link.
Courtney
It's literally timestamped. Dang. They broke up on Angela's birthday.
Shane
Well, this fully turned into what we expected. He's awful. Yeah, probably was doing worse shit to her.
Arasha
No, just making up that she cheated. What a child.
Shane
He did that immediately, too.
Courtney
So quick with it. He was so ashamed and embarrassed.
Shane
Well, he was just like, how dare you ask him.
Arasha
How dare you is insane. Yeah, like any benefit of the doubt just completely dissipated.
Shane
There's one comment here, and it's a big one. What he did, as far as accusing you of sleeping with this friend, is inexcusable. He cannot hold his own self accountable for the failures in your relationship. Your friends should know your character and have responded as so. Yeah, if they didn't, they weren't friends. Or they didn't know you as well as you thought they did. Don't worry about what those people think. You've spoken your piece and there's not much you can do about their reaction. You know your truth, and that's what matters. Your ex is behaving like a child, and I hope you can move on and find someone who is more emotionally intelligent. I'm sorry you're going through this, but I'm glad you didn't marry him. Your future sounds like it would have been a nightmare. Op said. I think he knows how unreasonable he's being, so he decided to to make this bullshit up. So he's the good guy to our friends. I'm glad, too. I was expecting to be devastated if we ever split, but when he took the Ring. I felt almost lighter. I can't really explain it. Not better exactly, but lighter.
Arasha
Good.
Shane
Yeah, I know.
Courtney
I know that feeling.
Shane
God. Wow. Well, that sucks.
Arasha
I mean, that just proves his point. If what she's asking is so crazy, then just tell people that. Just tell them the truth of why you guys broke up.
Courtney
Yeah, I mean, the Reddit post, again, like, it is exactly what was going on.
Arasha
Yeah.
Courtney
And that's just, yeah, the biggest bullet dodged.
Arasha
Yeah. And it sucks about the friends too. But that is a great point of like, I feel like if I saw something like that about my friend, I wouldn't be so quick to just be like, they're done. I feel like I would also want to hear their side of it. Or especially if they reached out and were like, hey, girls night, like, need some help? Whatever. I'd be like, like, let's go get the scoop. Let's figure out what actually happened instead of just leaving on red.
Shane
I agree.
Arasha
Yeah.
Courtney
I think it's important for people to do that. Boy,
Narrator/Advertiser
please.
Arasha
That's really rough. I feel bad for her.
Shane
Yeah, I mean, I feel really bad, but I'm glad she is out of that.
Courtney
I think she like, deep down knew cause, like, to turn to Reddit with something like this, like, yeah, yeah, that's rough.
Arasha
She knew, but she's out now.
Courtney
She's been new.
Shane
I have a feeling if he's willing to turn to something, she's probably been pretty gaslit in that relationship. And so she's like thinking she's crazy all the time.
Arasha
Yeah, 100%.
Shane
And then you just look like this angry, angry girlfriend, when really it's like, hey, you're being mistreated all the time and this imbalance. And then he just goes off and says, yeah, she cheated on this ex. He was aware of this person that he could perfectly stage this whole situation.
Arasha
And if she. It sounds like she doesn't have that many friends or like that strong of a support system, so she probably wasn't able to ask other people of like, is this okay? And what I'm being told what not.
Shane
I mean, we know nothing about it, but I just. Just. Yeah. Damn. All right, moving on to our final story. This is not necessarily a story. We have a game to play here.
Arasha
Oh.
Shane
If you're listening, I will do my best to describe the images that we're about to see. This comes from wedding shaming. Wedding guest wore custom made gown.
Arasha
Oh, okay.
Shane
This is mostly a photo post. So we're gonna play a game. Guess who the bride is. No.
Arasha
Yes.
Shane
Oh, My God.
Courtney
It's like siblings are dating, but it's bride or guest.
Arasha
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Shane
So for listeners. All right, for listeners, we have two women here.
Courtney
Can I describe the dresses?
Shane
Okay, Courtney will describe these dresses.
Arasha
Can I help? Can I help?
Shane
Here we go.
Courtney
Yes, we know, we know. You know, like the word, like scallops and, uh.
Arasha
Oh, okay. Okay, let's start with. Let's start with the right.
Courtney
Okay, so we have a. Yeah, we have a dress on the left.
Arasha
Okay. Yes, yes. And we have a left one.
Courtney
Oh, you sit on the right. You said on the right.
Arasha
No, that's good. Now let's start on the left. Yep.
Courtney
Okay, we have a knee length white, maybe satin, maybe cotton looking gown. Like a nice. But it's like a very plain, simple material.
Arasha
Maybe be cinched at the waist with above the earth, some like rhinestones.
Courtney
Looks like some rhinestones, but very small, not too shiny. The bodice is fitted, has like some seams at the front. Like almost like a corset kind of vibe.
Arasha
Maybe like, I think I'm seeing like sheer sleeves.
Courtney
Yeah. It has like tank top straps, but it seems like it's connected to sheer material.
Arasha
Yeah.
Courtney
As a long sleeve and then there's a cuff.
Arasha
A cuff.
Courtney
So it's a long sleeve dress, but the sleeve part is sheer and there's diamonds and the.
Arasha
No, we're not done sharing.
Courtney
Gown.
Arasha
Yes, the other one. The other one.
Shane
It's like a beige.
Courtney
It's off white.
Arasha
Beige tan. Maybe off the shoulder. A lot of texture.
Courtney
It's kind of like mermaid scale, like pattern. But it's not the tiny. It's like big. They look like giant. Yes, like beaded sequin.
Arasha
It goes all the way down and there seems to be somewhat of a veil.
Courtney
A train of some type. Yeah.
Arasha
Yes, yes, sorry. A train.
Shane
It is extravagant.
Arasha
Yes.
Shane
I will say the off white one looks like something you'd see at the Oscars.
Courtney
And it's not like a. It's not like a ball gown.
Arasha
I thought you meant the other one. I was like feeling like the wall
Shane
one looks like a wedding dress, but like a simple.
Courtney
It reminds me of like what I wore when I eloped with you, where it's like, it's like simple, cute. And then the one on the right, it's like. It's not like a ball gown or a. A line, but it's like a fitted kind of gown. Straight down.
Arasha
It's giving red carpet.
Courtney
Yeah, very red carpet.
Shane
It really is giving red carpet.
Courtney
The glambot would eat it up.
Arasha
Yes.
Shane
Yes.
Arasha
Okay. So gonna take a wild guess.
Shane
I mean, I think I know who the bride is.
Arasha
I hope the photographer.
Courtney
Yeah, I hope. Well, it sucks either way. It sucks either way.
Shane
It's bad.
Courtney
I mean, one.
Arasha
Yeah.
Courtney
One technically isn't as bad. It's unfortunate. The other one is like, because if it's not, at least it's not white. But.
Shane
Oh, no, I think that's. It's so insane.
Courtney
Either way, it's bad.
Shane
It's bad either way. Right.
Arasha
I think the least worst option. So, like, the better option is the one in white is the bride.
Shane
I. Yeah. There's not one that's good.
Arasha
Yeah.
Shane
Cause either way, you wore white and that's such a faux pas.
Courtney
Right.
Shane
Or you wore the most insane, like, sight stealing dress you could possibly wear.
Arasha
Truly.
Courtney
Truly.
Shane
Like really? This is like. Oh, this is like Met Gala almost.
Arasha
It's gorgeous.
Courtney
And it looks like a wedding choice. Like some people like to do white. Some like ivory or beige people. Yes.
Shane
But it's like, man, if you have a dress like that, why are you wearing it to someone else's wedding? Save that for the event of your life.
Arasha
Save it for your own.
Shane
My gosh.
Arasha
Yes. Okay.
Courtney
Oh, God.
Arasha
Okay.
Shane
Who is it?
Arasha
Who is it?
Shane
So this is mean. Either way, I'm.
Arasha
The train is crazy if you're not the bride.
Shane
I guess. Okay. Do you know here's. Yeah, yeah.
Arasha
The train is crazy if you're not the bride. I'm loving him. The train is the bride.
Shane
So you're thinking white is the simple white.
Courtney
Yes.
Shane
Now here's what. Maybe here's what's going on. Maybe this is what happened. Maybe she knew that the bride was wearing off white or beige or tan and was like, oh, well, I'll wear white. Cause they're not wearing white.
Courtney
Yes.
Arasha
Yeah. Cause it's.
Courtney
Oh, perfect.
Shane
So I'm so I'm not saying it's great. I'm saying that's the. I'm saying that's the best possible scenario.
Arasha
That is the best possible option because the train has to be the bride.
Courtney
I swear to God. I swear to God, Shane, if the
Arasha
train ain't the bride.
Shane
If Shane white is the bride, the
Courtney
train is on the guest. No, I am so sorry.
Arasha
Uh, uh, uh, uh.
Shane
The girl in white is the bride. This is a guess custom gown.
Arasha
One of the photos.
Shane
Oh, ho.
Arasha
Girly.
Shane
What the hell, bro? That is mean.
Arasha
I'm dead in all caps. Left is the bra.
Shane
Okay.
Courtney
Left is the bra.
Shane
Text from the original post. She doubled down and made a Facebook post. About how women shouldn't tear each other down.
Courtney
Oh my God, says the queen of mogging.
Arasha
How dare she go on train.
Shane
No one hates you more than the women who can't compete with you. They watch your every move. Talk non stop. Because if they talked about themselves, no one would listen. Let them bark from behind. Real queens don't tear each other down. Only mistresses do. Let's shine. Babe keeps being pretty.
Arasha
Okay. Literally not even eloquent in the slightest. That all sounded terrible.
Shane
It makes you. Yeah, it makes her. I mean, she is awful. Girl.
Courtney
Why did you need a custom gown to a wedding that you are not getting married to? First I'm like, okay, if you had a gown that you were supposed to wear at this other event, it happened to need to be customized.
Shane
How much is a custom dress like that?
Courtney
You think, oh God, thousands.
Arasha
Thousands.
Courtney
It's gotta be, oh God, at least a thousand.
Arasha
No. And she knew what she was doing. She knew because she went on Instagram and was like, don't fight me.
Shane
Well, she was able to buy this custom dress from all the money and gifts that she stole from her fake wedding.
Courtney
You're right.
Arasha
Yes.
Courtney
She's back from in the Wind. Yes.
Shane
Comments? Someone said, that's a gorgeous dress. But I thought she was the bride. 10,000 upvotes. Someone said, I hate the fact that I love that dress. Honestly, it would be amazing in any situation other than a wedding and maybe a funeral. I don't know why she would dim her own shine by wearing it at someone else's wedding and becoming the bad guy instead of waiting for a different, more socially acceptable event to break it out.
Courtney
Well said.
Shane
Oh, what the hell. Some people really go to far lengths just to like make other people feel like shit.
Arasha
No, it's actually making me think that that is the goal. Like some people just like, like rage baiting. I genuinely want to be talked about like that.
Courtney
And that her Facebook post is projecting big time.
Shane
Exactly. Oh yeah, exactly one. I found the post on Facebook and saw some pictures of her with her husband from the same wedding and her husband was wearing a short sleeve button down shirt with slacks. Like he looked well put together and everything, but definitely a different vibe than the red carpet worthy custom gown this main character wore. Honestly, based on the bride's dress, his outfit was probably more in line with the wedding dress code.
Courtney
Oh yeah, his sounds closer to the vibe.
Arasha
Cause like it's.
Courtney
Yeah, she should have taken the train.
Arasha
At the very least the train is inappropriate. I can't believe the bride even took a photo with her, I would be like, get out.
Courtney
I think she took that photo on purpose to be like, hey, guys, look at this asshole.
Shane
Honestly, this sounds like the bride was like, you know, this person bullied me in high school, but we seem cool now, and maybe I'll bring her and it's like, oh, no, you're the same person.
Arasha
Yeah, that's sad.
Shane
Oh, my gosh. God. Jesus.
Arasha
Just a ton of people having to, like, turn the other cheek at their own wedding.
Shane
Yeah.
Courtney
But no matter how much shit comes
Shane
between them, they always stick together.
Arasha
Shit comes out of the ass.
Shane
Well, man, those were some weddings we woo wee did.
Courtney
We dos wedding stories.
Arasha
Wedding stories we do.
Shane
Thank you both for being here. And, you know, both weddings were so great. Wait, your wedding, which was real?
Arasha
Yes. That already happened.
Shane
And that already happened.
Arasha
Yes. And I just wanted to say that you love me when I'm hangry. And I do.
Shane
I do.
Arasha
Oh, my God.
Courtney
We're married.
Arasha
Oh, my God.
Shane
Before we go, we should let you know that the next few episodes are gonna look a little different because Smosh is currently moving. We're moving studios, getting a new space, and so we're gonna be in a temporary space for a while. It's gonna look a little different for the next few weeks, and then we'll be back in a new studio. And maybe we're gonna revamp it a little bit. Maybe I'll have a new chair.
Arasha
We need to make sure it's contained for dancing.
Shane
Yes. No, dancing is fine in the next Reddit stories.
Arasha
And boring.
Shane
But anyways, we'll see you next week. Next Saturday. See you later. Bye.
Arasha
Should we go be gone with the wind?
Shane
Let's go be gone in the wind.
Courtney
Let's go be gone in the wind.
Josh Spiegel
Every day, the world gets a little weirder and a lot more awesome. Cool Stuff Daily takes a look at everything from mining in space to the latest in the fight against cancer to how AI is is basically changing everything. It's all the cool stuff you didn't know you needed to know. Join us for Cool Stuff Daily as we take a quick look at science tech and the.
Shane
Wait, what?
Josh Spiegel
Stories that make you sound way smarter at dinner. Subscribe to Cool Stuff Daily now because the future's happening fast and it's way too fun to miss.
Date: March 28, 2026
Host: Shane Topp
Guests: Courtney, Arasha
In this wedding-themed episode, host Shane Topp leads fellow Smosh cast members Courtney and Arasha through a collection of wild, dramatic, and hilarious wedding stories sourced from Reddit. The group reacts to tales of bizarre seating charts, wedding scams, awkward (or disastrous) speeches, rigid wedding rules, questionable etiquette, and relationship deal-breakers. The tone is irreverent, supportive, and deeply comedic, providing listeners with both outrageous Reddit content and the cast's signature riffing and hot-take commentary.
[03:27 - 13:40]
[15:47 - 25:06]
[25:53 - 34:45]
[37:16 - 46:09]
[47:30 - 58:55]
[60:50 - 79:41]
[80:33 - 88:53]
On the fake wedding scam:
On arbitrary wedding rules:
On awkward speeches:
On the ‘prop’ flower girl:
On refusing to dance at your own wedding:
On guest outdressing the bride:
The cast wraps up reflecting on how many wedding-related disasters come from people prioritizing aesthetics, social performance, or rigid tradition over empathy and real relationships. They congratulate themselves and listeners for surviving the gauntlet of wedding drama and look forward to the next batch of wild Reddit stories. Expect a new look for upcoming episodes as the show moves to a different studio—but, in true Smosh fashion, don’t expect the drama (or laughter) to go anywhere.
Final Sign-off
“Should we go be gone with the wind?” — Arasha
“Let’s go be gone in the wind.” — Shane [89:54]