Liar Liar, Pants On Fire! | Reading Reddit Stories

Summary

Podcast Summary: Smosh Reads Reddit Stories

Title: Liar Liar, Pants On Fire! | Reading Reddit Stories
Host: Shayne Topp
Release Date: May 24, 2025

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Introduction

In this episode of Smosh Reads Reddit Stories, host Shayne Topp and his co-hosts delve into the theme of Liars, exploring various tales of deceit, secrets, and the consequences that follow. Through a series of Reddit submissions, the Smosh team unpacks personal anecdotes that range from harmless white lies to more severe betrayals, providing both humor and heartfelt commentary.

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Story 1: Pretending to Graduate College

Timestamp: 03:15 – 10:11

A Reddit user shares their experience of faking a college graduation. Facing burnout and academic struggles, they fabricated their graduation to avoid disappointing their family. The story unfolds with the user revealing the immense pressure of being the first in the family to attain a degree and the ongoing guilt associated with maintaining the lie.

• Ethan: "I hate lying to them. I hate lying to everyone. I've finally re-enrolled and I'm taking night classes now. So slowly fixing the mess I made." (04:02)
• Amanda: "They killed someone and they have a different name." (03:27)

Discussion Highlights:

• The group empathizes with the storyteller's predicament, acknowledging the stress and pressure of academic achievements.
• Shayne: "There's a big difference between lies and pranks. This is actually just like living in a lie." (05:45)
• The conversation shifts to the societal expectations surrounding education and the importance of honesty in personal growth.

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Story 2: Taking Credit for a Purchase in a Relationship

Timestamp: 16:19 – 26:50

A long-term couple faces tension when the woman, the primary breadwinner, buys a house without her boyfriend’s financial contribution. During a family dinner, her boyfriend’s family mistakenly praises him for buying the house, prompting her to publicly correct them. The fallout leads to her questioning the viability of their relationship.

• Amanda: "I bought this house. You weren't ready. You never even contributed." (20:23)
• Ethan: "Their values are just so different. This does not sound like it's gonna work." (25:07)

Discussion Highlights:

• The hosts discuss the importance of transparency and teamwork in financial decisions within relationships.
• Shayne: "He wanted to look like a big man while writing his girlfriend's coattails." (25:27)
• They explore the dynamics of financial insecurity and how it can undermine trust and respect between partners.

Update: The original poster reveals that after their confrontation, the boyfriend attempted to move back in, leading to a tense standoff where he decides to leave permanently. She expresses relief and the need to protect her space, highlighting the severity of unresolved financial and emotional conflicts.

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Story 3: Missing Out on a Paid Volunteer Opportunity

Timestamp: 34:06 – 44:10

A Reddit user regrets not informing their friend about a paid volunteer gig that offered both financial compensation and networking opportunities. Their friend felt betrayed, believing they were intentionally withholding information to sabotage his chances.

• Ethan: "Am I the asshole? You set me up... you didn't let me do this opportunity." (37:19)
• Amanda: "Ryan's just causing drama, man." (43:56)

Discussion Highlights:

• The conversation touches on the ethics of withholding information, even with good intentions.
• Shayne: "He couldn't have assumed you would get paid later on." (42:30)
• The hosts debate whether the original poster is at fault for not sharing the information promptly and discuss the balance between honesty and protecting friends from disappointment.

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Story 4: Faking a Peanut Butter Allergy

Timestamp: 44:31 – 58:33

A Reddit user confesses to lying about having a peanut butter allergy to avoid unwanted advances and peer pressure. Six years later, the lie has become so ingrained that even his new girlfriend is unaware of his deceit, leading to mounting stress and complications.

• Ethan: "I love peanut butter. I eat it in secret. I have a stash at work." (45:46)
• Amanda: "Peanut allergy is... you can die from it." (48:34)

Discussion Highlights:

• The group underscores the dangers and ethical issues associated with lying about health conditions.
• Shayne: "You gotta back. You gotta stop." (54:03)
• They discuss potential resolutions, emphasizing the importance of honesty and the challenges of undoing long-term lies.

Audience Engagement: Listeners debated the morality of "white lies" and the potential fallout from such deceptions, with a consensus leaning towards valuing honesty over temporary comfort.

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Story 5: Husband’s Tattoo and Affair

Timestamp: 58:41 – 68:41

A Reddit user narrates the discovery of her husband’s affair, which was indirectly revealed through his tattoos. Initially, her husband explained the tattoo as a tribute to his sister-in-law’s husband but later admitted it was connected to an ongoing affair, leading to the end of a 19-year marriage.

• Amanda: "This is devastating." (60:56)
• Ethan: "He tattooed Ivy next to Lily. That's a betrayal." (62:16)

Discussion Highlights:

• The hosts express deep sympathy for the user's situation, highlighting the betrayal and the complexities of long-term relationships.
• Shayne: "He’s gaslighting his wife and begging her not to end it with him." (62:16)
• They discuss the psychological impact of deceit in marriage and the challenges of rebuilding trust or moving forward post-betrayal.

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Story 6: Lying About Cupcakes in the Office

Timestamp: 70:31 – 76:00

A Reddit user admits to lying about the quality of cupcakes in the office break room to spare a coworker with dietary restrictions from disappointment. Despite good intentions, the lie creates awkwardness and guilt.

• Ethan: "You're lying to make someone feel good." (71:56)
• Amanda: "If you tell her they sucked, she'll stay the same." (73:37)

Discussion Highlights:

• The team debates the fine line between kindness and honesty, questioning whether the lie ultimately serves a greater good or causes unnecessary complications.
• Shayne: "If you're lying to protect someone, it's not a lie, it's just not." (72:28)
• They conclude that while the motive may be noble, honesty is generally preferable to avoid unintended consequences.

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Conclusion

Throughout the episode, Shayne Topp and his co-hosts provide a blend of humor and sincere advice as they navigate through stories centered around deceit and the ramifications it carries. From personal confessions about academic dishonesty and relationship betrayals to lighthearted tales of office cupcakes, the episode emphasizes the importance of honesty, communication, and the complex motivations behind why people choose to lie. The hosts encourage listeners to reflect on their own experiences with truth and deception, fostering a space for both laughter and introspection.

Notable Quotes:

• Shayne: "There's a big difference between lies and pranks. This is actually just like living in a lie." (05:45)
• Ethan: "I hate lying to them. I hate lying to everyone." (04:02)
• Amanda: "Peanut allergy is... you can die from it." (48:34)
• Shayne: "He wanted to look like a big man while writing his girlfriend's coattails." (25:27)

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Closing Remarks

For those who haven't tuned into the episode, Smosh Reads Reddit Stories offers a captivating exploration of human experiences through the lens of Reddit submissions, providing both entertainment and valuable life lessons. Whether it's grappling with personal lies or facing the fallout from others', the Smosh team delivers relatable content that resonates with a wide audience.

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Stay Connected:

• Subscribe: Follow Smosh Reads Reddit Stories every Saturday for more themed storytelling and discussions.
• Engage: Share your own stories or suggest themes and subreddits for future episodes.

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Note: This summary excludes advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content sections to focus solely on the core discussions and stories presented during the podcast.

Transcript

[Narrator]

When the Moore family ditched cable Internet and switched to Zigly Fiber, they got so much more. Mr. Moore got more upload speed for next level gaming and livestreaming to the masses. With reliable service. Mrs. Moore is no longer her family's IT guru, leaving her more time to stream games into overtime.

[Shane]

Let's go.

[Narrator]

And young Mason Moore got more done quickly uploading HD product demos and video conferencing without freezing the numbers look good.

[Brad]

Brad, you're on mute.

[Narrator]

Switch from cable Internet to ziply Fiber and get more of what you love. For $65 less per month than [e-mail] get.

[Ethan]

What is daddication?

[Amanda]

The thing that drives me every day as a dad is Dariona. We call him Dae Date for short.

[Ethan]

Every day he's hungry for something, whether it's attention, affection, knowledge. And there's this huge responsibility in making sure that when he's no longer under my wing that he's a good person. I want him to be able to sit back one day and go, we worked together.

[Amanda]

We did a good job.

[Ethan]

That's dadication. Find out [e-mail] Brought to you by the U.S. department of Health and Human Services and the Ad Council. Hello and welcome to Smosh Reads Reddit Stories. I'm Shane, and today's theme is Liars. And I'm joined by one liar.

[Amanda]

Yes.

[Ethan]

And one person who tells the truth.

[Shane]

Good.

[Ethan]

Which one is it?

[Shane]

Amanda.

[Amanda]

I'm a little lying girl.

[Ethan]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Take off your baby bump.

[Amanda]

I lied about it. Could you imagine if it was a prank? I actually was thinking about that. I'm like, that would be awful.

[Ethan]

Okay, to be clear, Arasha, you thought that this was a prank.

[Shane]

You need to talk to Aaron Dougal, about this like once a week. I would be like, I'm not fucking falling for this shit.

[Amanda]

And I know why. It's cuz I showed her an ultrasound picture and they did have the wrong date on it, which I don't know why that happened.

[Shane]

And I fucking clocked it.

[Amanda]

And she went, that's the wrong date. And I went, oh, that's so weird. It is like.

[Ethan]

So you thought Amanda would wear a fake baby bump every day for months, even in videos, just to fool you?

[Shane]

I pitched it first.

[Ethan]

Jesus.

[Shane]

I was like, I will do that.

[Amanda]

I would never in my life. I'm not a prankster. I just. It eats me up inside.

[Shane]

No, it's hard. Yeah, it's hard, but it's fun.

[Amanda]

Are you retired?

[Shane]

I'm done now.

[Ethan]

You're done lying I'm done. Okay.

[Shane]

Never again.

[Ethan]

Okay, before we begin, I want to point out we are about one year after the famous story where we had both of you here and we talked about the guy who was paying his wife for sex, and we lost our minds.

[Amanda]

Christmas time.

[Ethan]

We filmed that episode at, like, 6pm on a Friday after filming so many videos that week. So we were out of it.

[Amanda]

No. And it's Friday right now.

[Ethan]

It is Friday.

[Shane]

And it's the last pit video of the week. Crying.

[Amanda]

I. It was just so, so funny to me that it was Christmas and a little blowjob and he would give her purses.

[Shane]

Not the little blowjob.

[Amanda]

And he would give her purses. Like, whoa. All those stories made me cry.

[Ethan]

They were funny.

[Amanda]

That was a mess.

[Shane]

That was a mess. And people who only saw the first half didn't even know where we went toward the end. So they were like, this was just a normal video.

[Amanda]

Yeah. Watch till the end, people.

[Shane]

Watch till the end.

[Ethan]

Okay, let's get into the lies. Ooh. Our first story comes from True. Off my chest. I've been hiding a huge secret from everyone in my life for the past three years.

[Shane]

Iconic.

[Ethan]

No. Oof. All right, what do we think this lie is? 3 years they've been holding this.

[Amanda]

They killed someone and they have a different name.

[Shane]

Amateur running from the law.

[Ethan]

That'd be a big secret.

[Amanda]

Yours.

[Shane]

I feel like it has to be romantic based. It definitely has to be, like, a personal person that they're hiding someone that they've been seeing.

[Ethan]

Where?

[Shane]

In their house.

[Amanda]

Then you agree with me?

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

Oh, like they're cheating.

[Shane]

They're cheating.

[Ethan]

Okay, okay.

[Shane]

Some good guesses or like, they're, like, not studying. What? They told their parents that they were.

[Ethan]

Oh, you think it's a college thing?

[Amanda]

That's a thing.

[Shane]

That's a thing.

[Ethan]

It's worse than that, though. I pretended to graduate college. I walked across the stage, wore the cap and gown, had the family celebration, took pictures, holding a fake diploma, cover the whole thing. But I never actually finished my degree. One semester before graduation, I just cracked. I was burnt out, failing a couple of classes and too ashamed to tell anyone. So instead of facing it, I faked it. I told my parents everything was on track. I bought a cheap gown online, faked the graduation date, and. And made sure the ceremony wasn't open to guests due to limited capacity. Since then, I've been working random jobs, telling people I'm between offers or exploring different fields. It's a constant weight on me. I've had panic attacks Just thinking about someone finding out. My parents still proudly mentioned that I'm the first in the family with a degree. I hate lying to them. I hate lying to everyone. I've finally re enrolled and I'm taking night classes now. So slowly fixing the mess I made. But it still feels like I'm living in a lie. I don't know if I'll ever have the guts to tell them what really happened. Oh, man.

[Amanda]

Damn. Okay, this person needs to finish night school, get their degree. Cause I get it. It's really hard. It's really stressful. It's really overwhelming to do college. And if you're the first in the family, so much pressure. So if they just did night school, which is awesome, they have it. Okay. They have it behind their back.

[Ethan]

So you think, oh, you can graduate. Their logic is, I'm gonna graduate. And then it's all true. It was still a lie.

[Amanda]

No, they should confess.

[Ethan]

You think they should confess once they get it?

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Ethan]

Okay.

[Shane]

Yeah, this is tough. Cause it's like, I feel like reading, hearing that story. It made me be like, okay, yes. Cause there's a big difference between lies and pranks. And in this case, you're fully just lying. Like, this DoP doesn't really have a set date to be like, hey, this is the truth and this is when it's gonna come out. And this was all for fun. This is actually just like living in a lie.

[Ethan]

Right.

[Shane]

Which, for the record, I would never do.

[Ethan]

Okay. As far as we know, I don't.

[Amanda]

Believe a word you say.

[Shane]

My parents don't know I work here.

[Amanda]

Could you imagine? That would be crazy.

[Shane]

They're like, hey, how's the hospital today? It's going great.

[Amanda]

Dr. Arasha.

[Ethan]

Dr. Arasha. It's so good. You burn.

[Amanda]

So.

[Ethan]

And they're like, so this is the hospital?

[Shane]

And you're like, yeah, I'm like, in the corner.

[Amanda]

Yes.

[Ethan]

I feel bad because, you know, this isn't like a malicious lie. This is one of those, like, lies where you're covering something up that you're embarrassed about.

[Shane]

Right.

[Ethan]

And I feel bad for people in that situation, but I can. I'm incapable of doing something of this level. Because as they're explaining the guilt.

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Ethan]

The. Just the weight. I'm like, your life is gonna suck so much more by doing this. Because now you gotta do so much work all the time to cover it up.

[Shane]

But like you said, I think the incentive here, the motivation is like, which one is worse, the guilt or the shame?

[Ethan]

Yeah. I feel so bad for this person. And you know what? Like, those last, like, years of college are really hard. Like, it's super easy to, like, crack and walk away from college. And that's also okay. If that's your decision, that's a completely fine decision. And also, like, he's going to graduate college. And it's not like, oh, you didn't finish your degree. Like, you just took longer to do it. I took 10 years to do mine because I was off and on. I took years off. Like some people do. Take a couple years off and then go back and keep going.

[Amanda]

I will say college, in my opinion, happens way too quick. I think you get out of high school, you're like, who am I? And they're like, all right, what's your major? Where do you want to go? Blah, blah, blah. And then you have these pressures. I wish that they forced us to take a year or. Or two to travel, to, like, get some work experience, to figure out who the f we are and then go to college.

[Ethan]

I think a lot of people do that. A lot of people do take a year off or so. I think it's huge. And also, I am. What I did and I'm such a huge fan of is going to community college. Cause the stakes are a lot lower. Cause it's not as astronomically expensive. Still expensive. But, you know, you can then. And then switching majors is a great thing. I think people should do it.

[Shane]

But the systems in place, I think, are set up in not only going to, you know, like, a big university and having sort of this big college experience, but I feel like these days, too, from middle school, you're expected to pick, like, a track, and those are the courses that you'll take that will eventually lead up to your career. And the reality is that you don't actually know what you want to do until after college several times.

[Ethan]

It's so funny, too. At this stage, in my 30s and everyone I know, the amount of people who have degrees that match their career is shockingly, like, not that high. People end up in completely different places. Like, your life is gonna go so many more directions than you expect. I think for this person, I'm even curious if their degree is going to change their job field that much or if it's just kind of like a mental thing.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Ethan]

Just something that they need to do for their own sake and their family's sake. Either way, I just. I feel bad for this person. I hope they get the weight off their shoulders.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Ethan]

The comments. My nephew did the same thing. He forgot to get tickets for the family to attend the ceremony. Even though they'd flown in from out of town, his dad, my brother, kept pressing to see the diploma, not because he was suspicious, but because he was so proud. Took my nephew a year or so to come clean. After the initial shock wore off, we all rallied behind him to help him redo a year or two. He's now truly degreed and we all love him so much. Anybody can crack.

[Narrator]

When the Moore family ditched cable Internet and switched to sickly fiber, they got so much more. Mr. Moore got more upload speed for next level gaming and livestreaming to the masses with reliable service. Mrs. Moore is no longer her family's IT guru, leaving her more time to stream games into overtime.

[Shane]

Let's go.

[Narrator]

And young Mason Moore got more done quickly uploading HD product demos and video conferencing.

[Brad]

Without freesight, the numbers look good. Brad, you're on mute.

[Narrator]

Switch from cable Internet to Zibli Fiber and get more of what you love for $65 less per month than [e-mail].

[Brad]

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[Ethan]

Someone else said, hey, I'm so proud of you. You're finishing. Honestly, I'm legit thrilled for you. You got all the congrats on celebratory back pats and you could have just not gone back, but you didn't. You're finishing. That's terrific. I also dropped out right before graduation and that was 25 years ago. My family knew and I was putting myself through school so there was no surprise or disappointment. I I still haven't finished because that last semester was so brutal emotionally that I've never really even considered finishing. I'm very happy for you. You're doing the hard thing and confronting a sense of shame. You've Lived with. You're legit my hero right now, and I wish you the very best of luck.

[Amanda]

Aw. Okay. These are so sweet.

[Shane]

So positive.

[Ethan]

Great comments on.

[Shane]

I thought people were gonna tear them a new one.

[Amanda]

Me too.

[Ethan]

Hey, fuck you, pal. Yeah, someone else said, I completely understand. I did the same thing. I was working on an associate's degree and I ended up failing. It was too much. I had some physical and mental health things going on. Mine was by accident, though. I was told I was going to be graduating and was listed and invited to the ceremony. Got the robe, walked the stage. My family was there, and it was so great. Then I got a letter in the mail a week later saying I failed a class and I did not actually graduate. I was so ashamed. I kept it a secret from everyone for a long time. Worked for a while and got things under control. Slowly started taking classes again. I let my mom know, but kept it from everyone else. Eventually I got my associate's, bachelor's, and master's degree, and I needed to go at my own pace, not pack on 15 credits in a semester. Just one or two classes at a time so I could truly learn and do well. I graduated late from everything, but who cares? I did it my way and I'm so proud. Yeah, I mean, here's the thing. You don't have to list on your degree when you got it or how long it took you. You get it and you get it.

[Shane]

I also feel like I haven't shown anybody my degree. Like, nobody has ever seen my diploma.

[Ethan]

Yeah, I mean, it's a bit for me, but I know for a lot of people, it's. It depends on the field.

[Amanda]

Right?

[Ethan]

Of course, a lot of jobs do require bachelor's masters. They still probably pay shit. I mean, that's just the way things go right now. But.

[Amanda]

But when you're an actor, you're fine. It doesn't matter what school you went to.

[Shane]

You have a journalism degree, right?

[Amanda]

No, I have communication and sociology.

[Ethan]

That's cool.

[Amanda]

So my sociology was actually what I wanted to major in was, which was all about, like, relationships. I did a whole semester on women in hip hop videos.

[Ethan]

Hell, yeah.

[Amanda]

Straight up. It was fucking awesome. I wanted to intern for it because it would be, like, this huge Indian man who was incredible, and he would break down every music video and, like, the relationship and, like, of women and how women were portrayed and what messages these were sending. And then I also went over, like, abusive relationships and, like, nuclear family, and I was obsessed with it. And then I took forensics for fun.

[Shane]

Let's go back to.

[Amanda]

It's very boring.

[Shane]

Actually, can we go back to the huge Indian man? Like, he was like physically large.

[Amanda]

His name was Sutjali. And I wanted to be his intern. And so many people wanted to be his intern. But he was like, he was like 7ft tall. He saw anything.

[Ethan]

He was like.

[Amanda]

No, thin. I think he's heard. Okay.

[Ethan]

Heard. I also feel bad. Cause I know this is very much the case. How many people are getting degrees just for their family's sake?

[Shane]

I was just about to say, and.

[Ethan]

I feel so bad. And I mean, how many things in life do people do? Like get married, have kids, all these things, big things that they do for someone else's approval. And it's like, hey, man, if you don't wanna finish your degree, you don't have to. That's your journey.

[Shane]

I mean, lying is essentially for other people, right? So that you can kind of twist other people's thoughts. You know the truth.

[Amanda]

What's happening here? She's constantly trying to make it better. Constantly.

[Shane]

I'm not lying to you. Take that off.

[Amanda]

No, I have to keep this song for the video. It's not that kind of video.

[Ethan]

Oh my God.

[Shane]

No, but in hip hop.

[Amanda]

See, she's a villain. Not the shirt.

[Shane]

It's a baby bump.

[Amanda]

Get out of here. It's real, right? Let go of my hand. Can I tell you something weird? I get uncomfortable when people hold my hand for so long.

[Ethan]

That's so funny because you're such a touchy feely person. But then holding your hand is too much.

[Amanda]

I'm such a touchy feely person. But like, even if, like someone holds my hand for a while, I'm like, all right. And feel, squeeze.

[Ethan]

You said that about your husband even, right?

[Amanda]

Yeah, my husband will sometimes hold my hand like while we're walking. And I'm like, yeah, squeeze, squeeze. Mwah. Love ya. All right. I don't know why it is just with holding hands.

[Ethan]

Just your hands.

[Amanda]

Just hands.

[Shane]

All right, well, I'll just. I'll have this here. Whatever you want. No big deal.

[Amanda]

You have beautiful hands.

[Shane]

Thank you.

[Ethan]

All right, let's move on to our next story. This comes from. Am I the asshole? Am I the asshole for telling my boyfriend's family that I bought our house, not him?

[Amanda]

Huh?

[Ethan]

Okay, so she's telling her boyfriend's family that she bought their house, not him.

[Amanda]

Okay, okay.

[Shane]

Girl boss.

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Ethan]

This whole thing started last month so. Me, 27 year old woman and my boyfriend, 26 year old man, who I will call Matt, for privacy's sake, have been together for six years now. I'm the main breadwinner and that has always been a struggle in our relationship. I would say he's pretty insecure about earning less than me. About a year ago I had finally saved up enough to purchase a house in the neighborhood I really like. Up until then, me and Matt had been living in his apartment which is cramped and not located in a nice area. Matt has never been too bothered about moving. He likes living in his apartment and he doesn't mind living elsewhere as long as he doesn't have to pay more than half. Knowing damn well I could easily purchase the whole house and it was a bargain for the area. I bit the bullet and bought it from all my own savings. When we moved in, Matt loved the place and I thought everything was fine now this is the reason I am posting on Reddit. Two days ago me and Matt went over to his mom's place for dinner. Conversation was going fine until the topic of our house was brought up. Mother in law mentioned how proud she was of Matt for owning his own house at 26, which I was confused about but obviously didn't want to start anything at the dinner table. Then Matt's sister chimed in about how much of an achievement it was. Matt looked over at me not saying anything. I'm not usually a petty or confrontational person, but something about the fact that I was the one who not only bought the house but also paid the majority of the bills and and Matt didn't even drop a dollar stuck with me. So I decided to say something. I asked Matt who really bought the house in front of everyone?

[Shane]

Girl boss.

[Amanda]

Honestly, I would probably do that.

[Shane]

Oh yeah?

[Ethan]

Who bought it?

[Shane]

Yeah, who's your mommy?

[Amanda]

Who's your mommy?

[Ethan]

Girl boss, There is nothing that's the most intense thing she could have done.

[Amanda]

Oh yeah, who bought the house? But the house.

[Shane]

Of question.

[Ethan]

There is no better question or statement. You good?

[Shane]

Put his. Put his ass on the line.

[Ethan]

Yeah, I know it was a dick move, but honestly I was so riled up by that stage. Matt said nothing. And then I announced to everyone that Matt didn't even contribute to buying the house. Okay, immediately, immediately after saying that, I packed up my stuff and went home. I have been texting with Matt's sister. I will call Kate who seems to be on my side. Matt is staying with his mom right now, so I have the house all to myself. He hasn't contacted me yet and I don't know whether it's worth breaking up over A lie like this. Am I the asshole?

[Amanda]

Okay, Breaking up is a little extreme, but then again, she owns the house.

[Ethan]

The situation is certainly a bit of a deal breaker in a lot of ways. Like this relationship.

[Amanda]

The right thing.

[Ethan]

Yeah. I mean, absolutely. I don't. Don't let him get away with that lie.

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Ethan]

No, I'm thinking more about the grand picture of this of, like. Of like, where you guys are at as far as, like. I think it's really complicated in a relationship to buy a house. And it's like, if you're not going in on that together, I don't even mean financially. Just like, it doesn't seem like they're together as a team doing this. Like, you know, it's almost like. But I don't know how long they've been together for.

[Amanda]

Six years.

[Ethan]

Six years to me.

[Amanda]

I think it's very tricky when someone is a breadwinner. I think you have to have multiple conversations to cause feeling guilty, feeling shameful, feeling embarrassed. Those are all real things. They're human things, and they're totally okay. But it's like, you have to have these conversations. You have to understand that if you're going to make this big purchase, you're in it together.

[Ethan]

Totally.

[Amanda]

There are other ways to contribute than making money. You can contribute emotionally, physically, around the house. I don't know. I just. I'm so over this. She makes more than me, and I'm really insecure. And I'm gonna lie. It's like, that's your relationship with your own family. Don't drag my accomplishments into your, like, sad, shameful stuff.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Ethan]

Cause I guess the way I'm seeing it is like, you know, they've been together for six years, they're not married. But I'm like, six years. I'm like, you're in a very serious relationship. I don't care if you're married or not. So it's like, but she bought this house. I'm like, you bought your house? But then he's claiming that he bought this house. I'm like, that's intense. Yeah, because you didn't buy it as a team. You didn't even. It doesn't sound like they even discussed it together. Right. That's where I'm like, are you guys even really, like, is this relationship serious in where you're going?

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Ethan]

And that's so disrespectful, what he did. That is extremely disrespectful. I'd have a hard time being like, oh, yeah, this relationship can keep going Forward. Not only is he taking away all of her accomplishment and just making it entirely his own. Not even. The lie wasn't even we bought a house together. The lie was, I bought a house. He's taking away her accomplishment entirely, too. He's not even. It's one thing. Even if he said, we bought this together, he could be proud of her.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Ethan]

But I don't know. He's embarrassed.

[Shane]

Yeah. Which is why I think it's maybe, like, maybe why she felt the need to say something right then and there. Yeah, totally. Cause I feel like she definitely did the right thing, obviously, by standing up for herself. But what's tricky is maybe her bringing it up in front of the family, which in this context is funny and is like, yes, go off. But I think in that situation, if you truly are a partnership with whoever this person is. Right. In this case, your boyfriend, it feels like there's a little bit of an exchange of like, oh, we're gonna talk about this later.

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Ethan]

Fair.

[Shane]

And later. Being like, hey, what was that? Like, what's going on? Or a brief beforehand of like, hey, my family doesn't know this yet. I'm really ashamed of this. Can we maybe bring this up? Or can we maybe avoid talking this? Like, there just needs to be, like, an alliance, and that's clearly missing. And he was kind of dumb to just accept that this would come up.

[Ethan]

The family brought it up, so he lied to them and said, I bought this house.

[Shane]

Right.

[Ethan]

It does bring up another. And this is what I talk about with cheating and all this stuff. I'm like, the layer of disrespect of, like. And you're gonna go along with it, right? My girlfriend's gonna go along with this lie. It's like, damn.

[Amanda]

Which makes me also think that she came in hot because I think that there was already resentment built up from her. She was like, I bought this house. You weren't ready. You never even contributed. Which is also another thing. It's like, we let all these conversations go unsaid, and it builds up resentment. And I'm not saying that she's in the wrong. I get it. When you're in a heated moment like that, that's essentially just completely ignoring all of your work that you've done.

[Shane]

Totally.

[Amanda]

But this, if you guys are together, you can buy the house, but it's kind of like, what is the agreement that you guys have together in on this?

[Ethan]

Yeah, I see that. I can't fault her for what she said.

[Amanda]

No, no.

[Ethan]

It is also pretty badass. And Funny what she did.

[Amanda]

It's really funny.

[Ethan]

But he started this. He lied. He premeditated lied. It wasn't a momentary like that maybe, but he thought this out, and he lied to the family beforehand. He didn't even tell her. Like, it's a big lie. That would. I mean, buying a house in today's world is an extremely hard thing to do. And it's not only that. It's, like, a big risk. She put all her savings into it and everything.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Ethan]

And here, the most important person in her life, who's supposed to respect her more than anyone else, blatantly disrespects her. Like, I. I'd be so pissed.

[Shane]

She really reads as just incredibly independent to me. Right. The way that she has laid out him being in this cramped apartment, not a nice area, and he's not really in a rush to move, and she's like, I want to move forward. I'm ready for the next step. I'm doing it with or without you here. I've done it now, almost just letting him be a part of this. And she has kind of taken that dominance, which she seems to be fine with. Like, this is the plan that she has executed, and it's fine. But he's clearly not fine with it. He doesn't want that narrative. He's like, you make more money than me. My family can't know this. He's, like, lying about it to cover it up.

[Ethan]

And this is just not gonna work.

[Amanda]

It's not working.

[Ethan]

It's not gonna work. Their values are just so different, you know? Like, they're.

[Amanda]

They're not going. This is a big thing that's, like, not gonna work.

[Ethan]

And I do not think this situation is a deal breaker in itself. I know so many couples where one person makes more money than the other. That's almost how it's just gonna always shake out. And I know that in many different variety. Right. Like, I know plenty of couples where a woman makes more than the man or whatever, and they're fine because they're a team. And it's. You can tell, like, they view it all as, like, we're working together.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Ethan]

And there's also just a level of security. Like, dude, it's a different world now. Right? Like, stop.

[Shane]

The only sad part about that is that you are insecure.

[Amanda]

Yep, 100%. But the thing is, not only did he lie, he just. To me, it shows a level of respect that he just doesn't have for her.

[Shane]

Totally. Totally.

[Ethan]

And to go to what you said, it's okay. To feel insecure. What action you take upon that, though, which is what he did.

[Shane]

Right.

[Ethan]

You know, it's like if he goes to her and he goes, you know, hey, sometimes I feel. I don't feel great about myself. I don't feel, like, good. She clearly doesn't care. At least I'm reading from this. I feel like she's okay with this situation.

[Shane]

She's like, fuck it. I bought real estate. Move in.

[Ethan]

Yeah, exactly.

[Shane]

Yeah, that's it.

[Ethan]

So the verdict is advice needed. They just want more info, but we have several comments here. Someone said, not the asshole. The fact that he said nothing actually speaks volumes. He wanted to look like a big man while writing his girlfriend's coattails. As for the breaking up part, I think it would depend on what he actually told his family. And did they assume he contributed or did he tell them he did? If he told them he did, he's stealing your valor. Get him out. Op responded. Kate told me he said he contributed. Tomorrow I'm contacting him to see where this all goes. All right. So I guess it depends on what he said.

[Amanda]

Okay.

[Ethan]

I think I'm. I'm going based on the assumption that he told them I bought the house.

[Amanda]

Yeah, me too.

[Ethan]

Which isn't fair. I. So we don't. I get where the advice is needed of, like, what specifically did.

[Amanda]

Well, regardless, the family, the way they portrayed it, it was like, oh, he bought the house.

[Ethan]

She went under the assumption. And then also in the moment, she was like, wait, who bought the house? And he stayed silent.

[Shane]

Right. He, like, gave her a look of, like, nothing.

[Ethan]

And.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Ethan]

Cause he could have, in that moment, been like, oh, no, we both contributed totally.

[Shane]

Which would have been easier.

[Amanda]

Was there someone else at that dinner table that wasn't involved at all? That they were just like, the younger brother. Pass the mashed potatoes. Yeah. He's like, can I go upstairs now?

[Shane]

I want a game.

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Ethan]

Someone said, soft. You're the asshole. Here's my question to you. Why was it so important to you to set the record straight when it came to who actually paid for the house? Oh, I would have probably raised an eyebrow at Matt with the inherent promise of, we will be talking about this later, but I don't think I would have humiliated a man that I professed to love in front of his family. I mean, did he actually tell them that he bought the house, or did they just infer it in a sexist fashion? However, if this is all part of. I'm getting tired of his fecklessness and Financial insecurity and his lies on top of that was the straw that broke the camel's back. Then you should probably start to think about what life looks like without Matt. I would have been disappointed that he did not correct them, but frankly, it's nobody's business who paid what for the house that had 74 down votes. So a lot of people did not.

[Shane]

Agree with that recklessness.

[Amanda]

I mean, what does it even mean?

[Ethan]

I do. Also, something I was thinking earlier was that I'm like, his family knows the financial. I would assume the family knows like his job and whatever the financial situation. So like, I get that there's the sexism of like, oh yeah, we immediately believe you bought the house or contributed the most.

[Shane]

Yeah. What I disagree with that take is definitely like, it certainly does matter the verbiage of who bought the house, who did this. Cause what the family is saying is true in that purchasing your own house at 26, massive, really impressive, borderline unheard of.

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Shane]

But give it to the woman who actually did that.

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Not this man who's claiming it.

[Ethan]

I will say, like, I would view any couple who's buying a house. I'm like, oh, you guys bought this house together. I'm not gonna do this thing of like, you, out of the two of you did this like, he bought the house. Yeah, that's. That is also striking me as a little.

[Shane]

Which is maybe where Matt gets that. Right. That's his family. So maybe his family instilled those values and virtues in him.

[Ethan]

OP responded to that comment saying it was definitely more of a straw that broke the camel's back situation. As I said in the past, financial insecurity is a major problem in our relationship and shit like taking credit for purchasing small things has happened before. Never anything as big as taking credit for buying the house though.

[Amanda]

Resentment 68 upvotes.

[Ethan]

There's a pattern here. Different commenter replied, imagine if you had kids with him. He'd probably take credit for giving birth.

[Amanda]

Oh my God.

[Ethan]

Someone said. So it isn't worth breaking up over this specific thing. But this is now a pattern. You say I'm the main breadwinner and that has always been a struggle in our relationship. I would say he's pretty insecure about earning less than me. This is why you break up. I had an insecure boyfriend who was threatened by my achievements once. It sucked. They constantly pick at you to bring you down to their level and. Or you start not talking about your achievements. And as much to lower their sulking and passive aggressive behavior, it is a very unpleasant way to live. There are literally millions of men out there. Why live your life with one that doesn't meet a reasonable standard? Now, I definitely would not have just left like that. This should have been a conversation between the two of you ideally. But I do get wanting to set the record straight. I will say, not the asshole, but you could have handled it better. OP Responded this. I'm worried if I stay with him, shit like this will continue. Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's very possible. I think that's what I was thinking from the start of this is just like, this does not sound like it's gonna work.

[Shane]

Totally. Again, not to completely drag Matt. I think he just needs some growth, and he also just kind of needs to learn his place in his family and his life and his world. But for Op, I think she deserves a man that's gonna be like, look at my awesome fucking girlfriend who bought a house and is making a lot of money and is awesome and is actually worthy of that title. I think far too many women date men or marry men that aren't proud to be their partner and instead are like, oh, my God, everything that they're doing, I'm actually jealous of and insecure of, and I wanna pull them down.

[Amanda]

Yeah, that sucks.

[Ethan]

If your partner's not your biggest fan and isn't, like, rooting for you to be the happiest, like, ultimate version of yourself, then what is the point? What the fuck?

[Amanda]

You wanna be in competition with your partner, then?

[Shane]

They don't truly. They're actually just like, I want us to be together, or this relationship is something that I want, but I'm not actually, like, I don't love you. I don't want you to be happy. Because those things are obviously great things to attach to your partner. Otherwise.

[Ethan]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

Update.

[Ethan]

Update.

[Amanda]

He's dead. Oh, my God. She killed him.

[Ethan]

She's like, my house, bitch. She killed it.

[Amanda]

Burying you in the backyard.

[Brad]

Yes.

[Ethan]

One day later. Hi, Reddit, I'm back. Last night I posted an am I the asshole? And it kind of blew up. I don't know Reddit standards, But I think 400,000 views is a lot. So some stuff happened today. Matt, fake name for boyfriend, came back to the house. I was assuming he was coming back to get his things and leave, but I was unfortunately very wrong. He literally told me he could forgive me and that he was moving back in as if that was a good thing. I was so shocked, but he was dead ass. So, as any sane person would do, I grabbed all his remaining Stuff, Gave it to him and told him to get the fuck out. He got really mad at that and I was worried he would get aggressive. So I called Kate, sister in law, for backup. She was really helpful and drove Matt home. As soon as I can, I'm changing locks. As for some of the comments, I pay the mortgage, and I don't even think Matt knows what a mortgage is. I live in Canada, so I'm not sure if I have legal rights to kick him out. He has stayed with me for just over a year. I am trying to seek some lawyer advice. Thank you for all your help and I will try to update if I can. Whoa.

[Amanda]

So he took that 24 hours to go. I know the right thing to do. I forgive you, and I'm moving back in.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

And I want a man cave. Ew.

[Shane]

I hate him. I can't believe he did that.

[Amanda]

That sucks. Also, the sister in law, like, your own sister's like, I got you, girl.

[Ethan]

I know.

[Amanda]

And she's like, come on, brother, you dumbass, get in the car.

[Shane]

Seriously.

[Ethan]

I feel like in these stories, like, brother and sister in laws are often the ones who can end up being an ally in a weird way. Like family you can't rely on a lot of times.

[Amanda]

But she's probably been annoyed with her brother for a long time.

[Ethan]

He's a piece of.

[Amanda]

Get your stuff. It's like a shitty backpack with like a hat.

[Ethan]

Sister in law's like, should we kill him?

[Shane]

Right. Matt's gonna go back home though, and his parents are gonna be like, she's a bitch. Yeah, you don't need to.

[Amanda]

You stay here until forever.

[Ethan]

Yeah. The pattern continued and she clocked it.

[Amanda]

Good for her.

[Ethan]

Yeah. Damn. All right, our next story.

[Amanda]

Yay.

[Ethan]

Am I the asshole for not telling my friend that the volunteer gig he flaked on was actually paid? Ooh.

[Shane]

What?

[Ethan]

Okay, So I, a 23 year old man, and my friend Ryan, a 23 year old man, are both in engineering. Last month, our department posted a call for volunteers to help run logistics at a local tech conference. It sounded like a good networking opportunity, so I signed up. And I told Ryan about it too. He was like, eh, not worth the time unless they're paying. Fair enough. I showed up the first day and to my surprise, they hand me a badge, free food vouchers, and say we'll be getting a small stipend at the end. Like, not huge, but still $300 for two days. Not bad at all.

[Amanda]

Pretty good.

[Ethan]

Ryan texts me while I'm there, like, yo, how's it going? And I just say, not bad. Chill. So far I didn't mention the money because one, I didn't know how long I'd be staying and two he already decided it wasn't worth it anyway. After the event, I got the stipend and posted a pic of the staff group on ig. Ryan sees it and asks, wait, you got paid? I say, yeah, it ended up being paid after all. He flips, says I was shady for not telling him, that he would have come if he knew and that I knew he needed the cash. He told a few people I set him up to miss out on it, but like, he made his call. I didn't know it was paid either at first, and I never lied to him. Am I the asshole you just realized.

[Brad]

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[Amanda]

I love this person writing this thing. He's like, he's got like a sidewards hat. He's like, dude, chill. Anyway, so I, I, he just, yeah.

[Shane]

How did he find out that it was paid? Through the staff meeting.

[Amanda]

We got paid.

[Shane]

They're all holding Payday bitches.

[Ethan]

Holding the $300.

[Amanda]

Just like, it's like one of those massive checks and it says $300 for two days.

[Shane]

And free food vouchers.

[Ethan]

And free food vouchers. Yeah. I guess where I'm confused is like, I'm like, was he even able to join once he, like, got through? Like, I'm like, you're already on the job. I can't. You can't just show up.

[Amanda]

Also, he didn't know it was paid.

[Ethan]

He didn't?

[Shane]

No. This is the problem with so many of these situations is people just make assumptions before asking of, like, hey, like, did you end up finding out that it was paid? Or like, what was the, like, what happened there? Instead of just being like, so you set me up?

[Amanda]

And then to like, spread his name, being like, oh, my God, he set me up. Can you believe that? You guys, like, what? You knew I needed the money.

[Ethan]

It set me up. It's like, dude, it's not like if he got paid, I wouldn't get paid, right? It's kind of. I'm confused. Like, the flipping out. I'm like, hey, man, I don't know.

[Shane]

He's just trying to make enemies.

[Ethan]

I think he's just upset that he did miss out now.

[Amanda]

Well, it's just like, you knew I needed the money. It's like, okay, well, be a grownup. I don't know. Reach out to the volunteer place. Yeah, like, well, let me just double check to make sure.

[Shane]

Yeah, he's definitely being clouded by this need for finance. That he's like, I needed money and you didn't let me do this opportunity. I'm desperate for it, and that's getting in the way of his job.

[Amanda]

He was home just looking at ig and he was like, oh, big check. Whoa.

[Brad]

Damn him.

[Shane]

Get off ig. Go volunteer man.

[Ethan]

The verdict was not the asshole comments. Not the asshole. They needed you there in the beginning for a quick volunteer orientation. Right. I've done this event work before. So when you found out it was paid, it was too late for him to get paid. Make sure he knows that and that should be the end of it. And you were right, by the way. The networking opportunity was worth more than the $300. And I hope you got some contacts out of it. Maybe one day Ryan can decide an internship you go for isn't worth it and you'll find out it was paid too. Then later, Ryan will wonder why he didn't get a job offer. Someone replied to that saying, in this market, networking is worth months of employment. When you spend months trying to find a job with no luck, while the person who network finds a contact that is looking to hire Op's friend is shortsighted if they thought it wasn't worth it without cash up front.

[Amanda]

I love these commenters. One of them is like Ryan's mom. She's like, see? Yeah, just tell him.

[Shane]

Networking.

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Ethan]

With almost any Reddit story about any sort of career, I, of course, am overall out of my depth and clueless because I've worked this job my entire life. But in the acting field, that is a very similar sentiment of like you do when you move out here, you go under the assumption of like, you have to take every opportunity you get.

[Amanda]

Every.

[Ethan]

Whether it's paid or not. Because you need to, like, make a ton of contacts and friends.

[Shane]

Totally.

[Amanda]

Most are unpaid.

[Ethan]

Most are unpaid.

[Amanda]

And unpaid are the ones where you meet, like, some of the best people.

[Shane]

Yeah. I think what you have to do is evaluate these events not just, like, by money, but what other forms of currency are you gonna get? Expensive exposure, publicity, contacts. Like, those are also big things that if you just go into these events or jobs in general, just thinking, how much money am I making per hour? Ultimately, you're not gonna get very far in life. Cause there's a lot more that's actually going to pay you.

[Amanda]

Right.

[Ethan]

Right. Someone else commented, saying, you're the asshole. He didn't flake on anything. He said he didn't want to do it unless it was paid. If you're his friend, the moment you found out it was paid, why wouldn't you tell him? That's so weird. If he's some random dude you work with, who cares? But you yourself said, my friend, so I assume you're, you know, friends. He made an uninformed choice. You then got more information and purposely withheld it from him for some reason. Sounds weird. And definitely on you.

[Shane]

How many downvotes does that have?

[Amanda]

This is also Ryan's mom. She's like, actually, wait, I love my son.

[Shane]

You guys are right.

[Amanda]

Ecosystem.

[Ethan]

Someone replied, saying, real talk. By the OP's justification, it doesn't even seem like he considers the guy his friend.

[Amanda]

Yeah. This random dude, this is not the asshole. It's clear. I don't know.

[Shane]

Yeah, it just. That's going off of the assumption that, like, OP is thinking about his friend at all times.

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Which you aren't.

[Amanda]

He's working.

[Shane]

He's working. He's doing his thing. And he's like, oh, sweet cash. Like, I'm not thinking about everybody that I've ever known who needs money and could show up right this second.

[Amanda]

Right.

[Ethan]

Cause Ryan texted him while he was working. He was like, hey, how's it going? And he responded, not bad. Chill so far. He said he didn't mention the money because he didn't know how long he'd be staying. And he already decided it wasn't worth it. That his buddy already decided it wasn't worth it. But that's not. The stakes are low for me a little bit. But it's like, okay, you decided it wasn't worth it when you didn't know you'd get 300 bucks, but now there's 300 bucks involved, so.

[Amanda]

Right.

[Shane]

I don't know. Actually, Being clued into that made me think, like, maybe they are closer if they are talking so much and like, they're. Yeah. Texting every day, seemingly. Or like, he's at this event and he's like, hey, how's it going? Like, maybe they do have regular conversation.

[Ethan]

Yeah, we don't have. This is a very short story. You know, it's one of those types of situations, and I think it's true for a lot where I'm like, you're the asshole. Depending on the level of, like, friendship you got going here. Cause like, a random acquaintance, I'm like, you don't really owe them as much, but it's like, hey, if you guys are buddies, what has this guy done for you in the past? What have you done for him? Like, hey, what's the trade off here? Whatever.

[Amanda]

Yeah, I think if they were close friends, he would have been like, yo, man, it's actually paid. I'm so sorry. Like, sorry that you missed out. I bet it's probably too late. Unless you want me to ask. Like, I feel like close friends would probably try to make it work.

[Shane]

Totally.

[Amanda]

But if he's like, chill so far, it's like, yeah, yeah.

[Shane]

Then that's a little sus.

[Ethan]

But what I will also say is I still don't think it warrants the reaction he got from his buddy totally.

[Shane]

Being like, he's flipping out.

[Ethan]

Like, you set me up. Like, you're like, I hate you level. And it's like, whoa, man.

[Shane]

Yeah, there's more needed in terms of level of friendship. And also I would say how much OP has heard about this financial situation if they really have been, like, having deeper conversations about it. And he's constantly been like, hey, if you have any work that might come up, like, let me know. I'm really trying to, like, look for some money. I'm strapped.

[Ethan]

Yeah. And it's also depends on, like, what's going on with this friend's life. Like, if this friend is working and grinding nonstop and he's just like, oh, any chance he can get where he's not working, he's got to take it. He's like, I don't have the time to volunteer right now. There's those things too, but we just don't have that info.

[Amanda]

Right.

[Shane]

The way that it read at first was more of like a casual, like, hey, how's it going? You set me up.

[Ethan]

Yeah.

[Shane]

And it's like, that probably wasn't it then. Yeah.

[Ethan]

One last comment here says, not the asshole. Everyone thought it was a volunteer thing. Turns out that they actually paid the staff, which is awesome, but not your fault or problem. Ryan didn't want to give up his weekend. I'm assuming it was on the weekend for free, and that's understandable. Still, no one's fault here, but Ryan became the asshole for acting like you intentionally screwed him over. You. You even offered the opportunity to him, and he rejected it. Yeah, I really see that one. Cause it's the response after the fact. Yeah, I mean, I don't know these guys.

[Amanda]

Ryan's just causing drama, man.

[Ethan]

Yeah, dude. Fricking Ryan, man.

[Amanda]

Ryan, man.

[Ethan]

Ryan. He's just chill.

[Shane]

Yeah. He could go on a reality show and make some money.

[Amanda]

That's so true.

[Ethan]

All right, there's a solution, right?

[Shane]

Don't they make so. So much money on.

[Amanda]

You would slay on a reality show.

[Ethan]

You would kill.

[Shane]

I would kill people.

[Ethan]

You would kill.

[Shane]

No.

[Ethan]

Well, all right. Our next story. This is a confession from the subreddit. Confession. I've been faking an allergy for years, and now it's gone way too far.

[Shane]

Yes.

[Amanda]

No, I don't like this.

[Ethan]

Honestly, everyone with an allergy, literally.

[Amanda]

Am I right?

[Shane]

Literally. Cut it out. You have to get out of here.

[Ethan]

Can you imagine?

[Shane]

Like, give it up.

[Amanda]

Can you imagine if I mean, everyone with an allergy, Am I right?

[Shane]

Just own a cat and get a spoon of peanut butter already.

[Amanda]

Get out of here.

[Shane]

What do we think it is?

[Ethan]

Okay, what's the allergy?

[Amanda]

Pollen.

[Shane]

Penicillin.

[Amanda]

Men.

[Ethan]

Faking pollen would be tough. Cause that's everywhere. Yeah, men.

[Shane]

I'm gonna go with cats. I think people.

[Amanda]

Oh, maybe their boyfriend has a cat and they're like, I can't stay with a nasty apartment. Yeah.

[Ethan]

Okay, this started as a dumb excuse, and now I'm in too deep. Years ago, I went on a date with this girl who was obsessed with peanut butter. She kept pushing me to try her peanut butter smoothie, even after I said I wasn't in the mood. Instead of just saying no, I blurted out, oh, I can't. I'm allergic. Big mistake.

[Amanda]

Yeah, bro.

[Ethan]

She was super concerned, asked a million questions, and I figured, whatever, I'd never see her again. But then she introduced me to her friend group, and they all knew about my allergy. At that point, correcting it felt too awkward. Fast forward six years.

[Shane]

What?

[Ethan]

I'm still friends with these people. My allergy is a known fact. They warn restaurants for me. They check ingredients. One of them even threw out a peanut butter cake someone brought to a party just to be safe. The worst Part I love peanut butter. I eat it in secret. I have a stash at work. Once my best friend said, man, it must suck not knowing what a Reese's tastes like. And I just nodded solemnly.

[Amanda]

Best friend.

[Ethan]

His best friend at work. Or wait, no. Once best friends. Wow. Okay. Now my girlfriend, who also believes I'm allergic, wants us to move in together. And? And she's super cautious about food. I'm terrified she'll find my peanut butter stash and think I've been lying to her. Well, she'll know you've been lying to her. Which I have for years. I have no idea how to get out of this. Do I fake a miracle recovery? A medical misdiagnosis? Or do I just keep the lie going forever?

[Amanda]

What the hell, dude? I love peanut butter. This is a tragedy. Here's the deal. Wait, is this the same girlfriend from the start? The girl he was like all the time?

[Ethan]

I don't think so. I don't think so.

[Shane]

Random girl, new girlfriend.

[Ethan]

He was dating a girl, but he met friends through that girl. And then it just spread like wildfire, like peanut butter. Everyone knows and everyone thinks that it's at work. It's invaded everything.

[Amanda]

Oh.

[Ethan]

Over not wanting to try a delicious peanut butter smoothie.

[Shane]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[Ethan]

However, can I also say, whenever someone's, like, pushing something on me, and they're like, here, try this. I'm like, no, thanks. And they keep trying. I'm like, no, thanks. You gotta fucking stop.

[Shane]

You gotta back.

[Amanda]

And that's all.

[Ethan]

If I say no. If I say no, you gotta respect.

[Shane]

That no means no, no matter how.

[Ethan]

Delicious the smoothie is.

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Ethan]

Stop it.

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Ethan]

But he then did this, and he kept it going for six years.

[Amanda]

That is wild to me.

[Ethan]

Yeah. He could have instead, in that moment, said, hey, please stop asking.

[Amanda]

Hey, please stop.

[Ethan]

Hey, fucking stop.

[Amanda]

So he basically needs to go to a doctor and then go, oh, my God. Hallelujah, miracle happened. I can have peanut butter now.

[Ethan]

Don't. Allergies. Is this a myth that allergies shift every seven years? So he could. Hey. He could just say, hey, it worked.

[Amanda]

Do you not agree what's happening here?

[Shane]

I just feel like I'm mad that he didn't take the sip of the peanut butter smoothie in the beginning.

[Amanda]

Oh, have you.

[Ethan]

Sounds delicious.

[Amanda]

Pushed your smoothie?

[Shane]

No, No, I won't push my smoothie.

[Ethan]

Peanut butter smoothies are delicious.

[Shane]

They're fucking delicious. So I'm over here. Like, the lie is that he's going, I love Peanut butter. But he's not taking a sip of this peanut butter smoothie.

[Amanda]

Yeah, he messed up.

[Shane]

He messed up by not taking the sip.

[Amanda]

This is karma, essentially.

[Ethan]

It's really dangerous because this is. This. This paints a horrible narrative for. For all the people who really have allergies.

[Amanda]

Peanut allergy is. Is. You can die from it.

[Shane]

It's so scary even just being around it.

[Ethan]

Like, it's so serious that it's got to be terrifying because it's. Peanuts are fucking everywhere.

[Amanda]

Everywhere. Everywhere. They took it off planes.

[Ethan]

Good. Yeah, agreed. I was always confused by that.

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Ethan]

I was like, out of all the foods, you chose the one that kills a lot of people. I was like, you know, there's a lot of snacks out there, and you chose peanuts?

[Amanda]

Yeah. Come on.

[Ethan]

I understand it's probably cheap and easy, but come on, man. People. Cause I knew of people who had severe peanut allergies where they had to wait for specific flights where they would clean out the whole plane and, like, vacuum, like, do intense cleaning because, like, they can't fly.

[Amanda]

It's such an intense allergy, and it, like, needs to be taken seriously. So I get why his friends threw out that whole peanut butter cake at a party.

[Ethan]

I mean, we're. We're.

[Amanda]

Get out of here.

[Ethan]

We're. We have a lot of people. We have. There's a lot of people at Smosh who have, like, a lot of severe allergies, and we're extremely conscientious of it, so it's a very serious thing. I do think lying about allergies is a very serious lie.

[Amanda]

It's a no. No.

[Shane]

Yeah. Well, do you guys think it would be embarrassing if he was just like, hey, I have to admit, like, this is where this lie came from.

[Ethan]

Like, I don't know, man.

[Amanda]

I don't think he can.

[Ethan]

He's in pretty deep. It's such a. Compared to other lies, it feels like such an innocuous one at face value, but the length of time and the amount of effort they've all put in for this. Six years.

[Amanda]

They threw away a cake at a.

[Shane]

Party, A peanut butter cake.

[Ethan]

I'd be thinking about that shit. I'd be like, we threw away a delicious cake for you.

[Amanda]

And, like, Amy's also, like, he's got.

[Ethan]

A girlfriend who he's gonna move in together with, and he's been lying about a huge aspect I. His life.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

This stresses me out. I'm like, bro, Yeah.

[Shane]

I think.

[Ethan]

I think he might get hives just from the stress. Right.

[Shane]

I think he just Let it spiral too much. I think he should have corrected it right at the beginning. Oh, well, yeah, it should have been a more immediate, like, hey, I didn't. I accidentally just said this in the moment, but I actually didn't mean it.

[Ethan]

There are so many things he could have done that would have been like, I said, I'm mad at the person for pushing anything on you when you say no. Yeah, but he could have also just been like, hey, I'm leaving right now.

[Amanda]

He's like, I'm never gonna see you again.

[Ethan]

But I'm allergic is probably the one you can't do. And then to stick with it. Cause he could have said, I'm allergic. And she could have been like, oh, I'll. But. And then later been like, I lied because you were pushing it.

[Shane]

Yeah, exactly. Like, you blurt out things sometimes and then it's like, oh, shit, I shouldn't have said that.

[Ethan]

Yeah.

[Shane]

But then he doubled down and then tripled down, and six years later, he is here.

[Ethan]

But lies. Lies make you keep lying.

[Amanda]

Yeah. So I think, is this wrong for him to be like, oh, my God, I'm. You know, I don't have this anymore.

[Ethan]

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[Shane]

That kind of feels almost like the first story where it's like, if he just, like completed college and got his diploma, then it's almost like a technicality of now. Everything is true. Where you did graduate from college now. But earlier lies still persist. Same with the peanut butter. Allergy now the truth is out that you are not allergic, but they think anymore.

[Ethan]

I. Yeah. He's not gonna be in the clear, though, because he's, for one, he's gonna know that he lied for six years. But it's also gonna be a thing. It's gonna keep getting brought up of, like, man, and you were so allergic to peanut butter for seven years, and then you weren't. And he has to keep being like.

[Amanda]

Where'S his family during all this? Could you imagine? The mom visits for one day and just blows it all up. She's like, when were you ever allergic to peanut butter? This boy used to banana. He's dunked in peanut butter.

[Ethan]

He's kept his family a secret because they work on a peanut farm.

[Amanda]

When you coming down to peanut farm? I don't know.

[Ethan]

My great grandpa, Jimmy Carter. This is my dad, Dr. Jif.

[Amanda]

Doc.

[Ethan]

It's pronounced gif.

[Shane]

Yeah, these are my cousins. Creamy and crunchy.

[Amanda]

Okay, comments?

[Ethan]

Comments. Someone said, I'm gonna be real with you. Misdiagnosis is your best bet. Your next step is telling her you're seeing an allergist who's been microdosing peanuts for you to get to eat them, and voila. Cured. It's actually a thing. And what's one more lie? Dude, come clean or do it quick. Before she marries you and has access to your medical records.

[Amanda]

Whoa. Okay.

[Ethan]

If she's gonna be.

[Amanda]

That's going a little bit far.

[Ethan]

I have not.

[Amanda]

I don't look at my husband's medical records every day.

[Ethan]

I haven't done.

[Amanda]

Show me the.

[Ethan]

I didn't know that was a thing.

[Amanda]

Yeah, you know what? It's actually not. You can.

[Ethan]

I was gonna say that feels.

[Amanda]

You have to. The person has to, like. Because this actually happened to me recently, you have to be like, yes, I give my husband permission to look at my medical records. They can't just look at your medical records. I would certainly hope so, because they're married to you. I'm pretty sure.

[Ethan]

I hope that's the case everywhere. OP responded, okay, I actually didn't know this. Is this common knowledge to everyone? Someone responded, it's common knowledge to people who know people with actual peanut butter allergies. Someone said, just say your parents told you you've had a peanut allergy since childhood, and you went to an allergist to inquire about microdosing, and they did some tests, and you found out you've outgrown the allergy.

[Amanda]

Blame it on Dr. Jeff.

[Ethan]

OP responded saying, I think this is the safe one. Mentioning microdosing and the tests will help for sure. I'm not the best liar, but hey, I was lying in the first place and I just want it over with. I'm be real honest with you, man. I think you're a good liar.

[Amanda]

Yeah. Six years.

[Ethan]

Six years from you threw out a cake. That's a lot of practice. You know they say it takes 10,000 hours to master a skill and I think six years, you're pretty close.

[Amanda]

Yeah, that's pretty much it.

[Ethan]

I think you've actually done it.

[Amanda]

You've done it, buddy.

[Ethan]

I'm not going to do that math right now.

[Shane]

It's just kind of crazy that all of the solutions are like this is practically the best thing to do is to lie again to get out of all of it. Instead of being like confess, you know, Which I guess true.

[Amanda]

I think it's too late. Yeah.

[Ethan]

His life will blow up if he tells the truth, which is crazy. Well, that's what happens when you lie.

[Amanda]

Don't lie.

[Ethan]

That's what happens.

[Shane]

Don't lie.

[Ethan]

No. This is awful. This is my nightmare. Like my nightmare is this.

[Amanda]

That's why I don't lie.

[Shane]

Agreed.

[Ethan]

Here's the best possible situation. He, the seven year mark hits and he develops a peanut allergy.

[Amanda]

An allergy.

[Ethan]

What if he actually started to develop one?

[Shane]

I think he'd be really disappointed.

[Amanda]

That's karma.

[Ethan]

That would be like Twilight Zone.

[Amanda]

That would be.

[Ethan]

That's the Twilight Zone. That's the Twilight Zone ending where he does develop a peanut allergy.

[Amanda]

It could happen.

[Ethan]

It could, it could theoretically happen.

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Shane]

I feel like you gotta think ahead when you lie and make sure that it's not gonna be something that like haunts you or puts you in a bad box for later.

[Amanda]

Like I feel like a Marvel movie.

[Shane]

Right, right, Exactly. Like that's a genius lie. It's like if you lied about the peanut butter smoothie, like later, if it comes up one more time and you're around other people, then it's like, oh no, I wasn't referring to the peanut butter. I was referring to the, the cocoa powder. You know, like just like, I don't know, switch it up like you never.

[Amanda]

Have hot cocoa ever again.

[Shane]

I just, Right.

[Ethan]

I just, I feel so much more stress with any lie. I'd rather like, I'd rather face all the other things like the shame, the, like the uncomfort, the everything else. But knowing that I'm on the surface is so nice. Cause I'm like, okay, this is all true. Yeah, like you Might. You might lose out on a lot of things in life by not lying. You might, like people do, go places by lying. But I'm like, yeah, but you're living a lie. It's not true. And I don't like that.

[Shane]

And you have to live with yourself.

[Ethan]

Yeah, man, that's the worst.

[Amanda]

Yeah. And how is he gonna hide his peanut butter little stash from his girlfriend when he moves in? Like, how?

[Shane]

Yeah, put it under the sink. Maybe he just tells her, like, what if it's like, hey, let me let you in on something.

[Amanda]

Hey, let me. Hey, come here.

[Shane]

Hey, get over here.

[Amanda]

Let me get over here. She's like, okay, don't murder me.

[Shane]

And it's like his peanut butter room.

[Ethan]

Yeah. You know what? Okay.

[Shane]

And they're fucking it.

[Ethan]

You know what's another movie ending of this before I move on, is like, he tells everyone. It all blows up. He loses all his friends. He loses his girlfriend. He goes home by himself and he makes himself a peanut butter smoothie. And he tries it and he's like, that's delicious.

[Amanda]

You're so right.

[Ethan]

That's really good.

[Amanda]

And then the girlfriend's like, ooh, from the dead.

[Ethan]

I don't know why. Wow.

[Amanda]

Okay.

[Shane]

Yeah, that's. That's a tough one.

[Ethan]

All right. What a. What a story.

[Amanda]

What a story.

[Shane]

Creamy.

[Ethan]

All right, we're apparently going to love this next one. Okay, this story comes from the Too Hot Takes subreddit. Shout out to Morgan over at two hot takes.

[Shane]

Okay?

[Ethan]

Her subreddit. Man, we love Morgan. It's like the best. There's some of the best stories.

[Amanda]

We love Morgan.

[Ethan]

Her fans submit some wild stuff.

[Shane]

Yay.

[Ethan]

My husband lied about the reasoning for his tattoo, and he was having an affair.

[Amanda]

Two separate things.

[Ethan]

Okay, now that I've told you one lie, another.

[Shane]

Yeah, completely separate.

[Amanda]

Yeah, separate. Okay.

[Shane]

I'm on my period.

[Ethan]

A year and a half ago, my husband got a tattoo. I don't have a problem with tattoos or anything like that, but he had never gotten one before or talked about getting one. He said he started thinking about it because one of his sisters married a man who had several tattoos. It made him realize he wanted one. He ended up getting a lily tattooed on the left side of his chest. I didn't really like it, but I didn't comment because he is free to do what he wants with his body. A little over a year after he got the lily done, he went back and had some ivy added around it. I used to go to certain work events and parties with him because it was normal to go. He started telling me I couldn't because of the pandemic, which made sense a few years ago. But things began opening back up, and events were more normal. He finally relented and brought me to one. I met one of his colleagues. She works in the same department as him, and they have the same title, so they work together a lot. Her name was Lily. Lily. My husband swore it was a coincidence. I had tried to ignore my feelings about him suddenly wanting a tattoo. He eventually admitted they had been having an affair for the last two years. I was so shocked, I was not even thinking about the Ivy. But my husband said that Lily had a baby she named Ivy, and he got the tattoo a few months after the birth. He begged me not to get a divorce, but I can't forgive this. We have to be separated for a year before we get divorced. Our daughter is turning 18 next month. There will not be child support ordered for either of us by the time we are divorced. The divorce should not be complicated. We both work, so the attorney I consulted said there will not be spousal support ordered for either of us, and our assets will be divided. Part of me is still in shock. He wants to go to counseling, but I can't. We have been married for 19 years, and I let him convince me my feelings about his tattoo were wrong. I never thought I would be 43 and getting a divorce, but here I am.

[Shane]

Fuck this, man.

[Amanda]

This is devastating.

[Ethan]

Okay, so the husband then got Ivy tattooed. Shortly after, this woman, Lily, had a baby that she named Ivy, but we.

[Amanda]

Don'T know that Ivy is his baby. But he got Ivy tattooed next to Lily.

[Ethan]

It points to that. And the baby was born during the affair.

[Shane]

Okay, Okay.

[Ethan]

I think. I think.

[Amanda]

And he got it on his chest, on the side of his heart, probably. That's very sweet. I will say that's very sweet. Like, in general, like, that's very sweet.

[Ethan]

For, like, if that was you, but that's him.

[Amanda]

That's so devastating. So devastating. Also, I'm so sick of these people gaslighting other people. She clearly was like, I don't like this tattoo. I don't feel good about it. And then he's like, eh, great.

[Ethan]

Boldness is always shocking.

[Amanda]

Oh, it's so bold right here. Damn.

[Shane]

And that sucks that he's just like, let's do counseling, babe. Like, what the fuck?

[Amanda]

No, man, you need counseling.

[Shane]

You need personal counseling away from everybody.

[Ethan]

Begged me not to get a divorce. What?

[Shane]

Why?

[Ethan]

What are you thinking, man?

[Shane]

Dude, that actually makes no sense. Like, there's nothing I want to advocate for with this man.

[Ethan]

His first tattoo was for the woman he's having an affair with, and he got it in plain sight, dude.

[Amanda]

He made a decision, and now he's gaslighting his wife and begging her not to end it with him. It's like, here's the thing. People go through a lot of tough things in marriage, but, like, the way he handled it, I'm just like, buddy, if he maybe came to her and confessed, like, this happened, holy shit. Maybe, maybe they could go somewhere with that.

[Shane]

But he. He's not even sorry.

[Amanda]

I don't even think he's not sorry at all.

[Ethan]

No.

[Shane]

This affair has been happening for two years. He possibly has another child with this woman, and he's been married for almost 20 years.

[Amanda]

Yeah. That's crazy.

[Shane]

That's insane.

[Amanda]

Yeah, that's wild.

[Ethan]

Absolutely insane. And they have a daughter who's 8, who's now turning 18.

[Amanda]

Like, and she has probably seen the tattoo.

[Ethan]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

And she's like, who's Lily and who's Ivy?

[Ethan]

Everything about this is awful.

[Shane]

That's actually psychotic of him to do.

[Ethan]

That's. I think I've said this before too, but, like, I sometimes wonder what's the more infuriating part about affairs and cheating is it's the affair and the cheating or it's the, please, let's not break up over this. Like, don't break up with me. Don't do this.

[Amanda]

Yeah, come on.

[Ethan]

I'm like, if you're gonna cheat or have an affair, you need to at least be like, I fully understand if you're. Yeah, you're gonna.

[Shane]

Right.

[Ethan]

Like, it's like, to think, like, no, you'll stay with me after this is that shows how much you disrespect this person.

[Shane]

Like, what's the long term plan here? You know, Is it like, was he actually just, like, ever end it?

[Ethan]

Right?

[Shane]

Like, I'll just do this for all of time, and when it comes, I'll just be able to keep her in my life too.

[Amanda]

The tattoo has, like, a home and then a dog and a strange site where he's gonna be buried next to Lily. Wait a second. What's happening here, man?

[Ethan]

Comments on this one. He seems pretty proud of his extracurricular activity. 6.7 thousand upvotes. Wow. Someone said, let's just for a second, not even talk about just the cheating part. You go and basically get your affair partner's name tattooed on you and then have a kid with her. You also tattoo on yourself and then you Expect your wife to work on the marriage. Like, what in the world is he smoking? It sounds like he's done with the marriage too. It makes no sense. Like, how delusional is this dude? Someone said, so Ivy is your husband's daughter. Someone responded to that. That's what I came here to ask, too. Why else would he add the Ivy to his tattoo right after the baby was born? OP43 is still young, trust me. Surround yourself with good people and plan yourself a nice vacation. You deserve to be treated with love and respect. And when you're ready, you'll meet someone that is worthy of that trust. I've been there. And it's really painful to get over that kind of betrayal. But be patient with yourself and you'll get through it. Sending lots of invisible hugs your way.

[Amanda]

Also, 43 is not old.

[Ethan]

Not old at.

[Amanda]

You can start over any time in your life.

[Ethan]

Yeah, right.

[Shane]

The timing of it is a nightmare. Only in the fact of how many years they've put through with this marriage.

[Ethan]

19 years.

[Shane]

19. And that's just like. It's like cheating is such a betrayal on so many levels. But to actually truly never see it coming in the fact that you're like, I'm committed to this man. Like, I've been married. We have a kid who's almost 18. Like, it's just like that is the cherry on top of all this unpredictability.

[Amanda]

But she did feel bad things happening. She did feel.

[Ethan]

She sensed it.

[Amanda]

She was sensing it. And then he denied her that. That's what I hate.

[Ethan]

It's. It's an infuriating part too. Cause I've heard this from a lot of people and I felt this too, of just like, you kinda know. You kinda know. But then you're also like, you know, if you're a good person, you're like, well, I don't wanna be. I wanna trust. So I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna be the paranoid person. I'm not gonna do that. But you kinda know. Cause we pick up on body language when we don't even realize it. We're picking up on tons of signs and stuff. And yeah, you get bad vibes from things. Like, intuition is real. Like, our brain is so much subconscious that we do pick up on things. We don't consciously go, oh, here's what's happening. We know what's happening. Sometimes before we know what's happening.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Ethan]

And it's some of the most infuriating parts of life. And so you sit there and you Go. Oh, I knew. And I couldn't. Either I was denying it, or I just was convincing myself or just overlooking it. And it's so tough. But it's not her fault at all. I mean.

[Amanda]

I mean, a Lily on your heart, on your chest, after knowing them for so many years, out of nowhere, it's.

[Ethan]

Shifts in behavior, right? Like, there's no behavior that's suspicious except for complete changes. And you're like, wait, what caused this complete change?

[Shane]

Yeah, and also just the lousy cover up of like, oh, you can't come to work because of COVID And she's like, it's 20, 25.

[Amanda]

Yeah, yeah, we're out of it now.

[Ethan]

No, it's. The signs are always there. But I never blame people for not, like, picking up on her.

[Shane]

Oh, totally, totally.

[Ethan]

Until it's like, blatant. Yep, yep. And then you look back and you go, oh, my fucking God. You had like, a billboard saying, yeah.

[Shane]

Yeah, like, you're right, it's not her fault. But I can totally see her reflecting and being like, I knew something was up and I didn't follow through on that. Again, not her fault. But that's just like the natural human thing to do, to be like, I should have known. I should have said something. Like, she's clearly, obviously going through a lot of grief and loss over this marriage and everything. I can just already also see that as a layer that she's also experiencing.

[Amanda]

I think sometimes life, though, does it like, sets you up so that it hits so hard that you can't deny it anymore. Like, for it to, like, for her to be like, oh, this is happening, this is happening. And then see Lily in person, she's like, dun, dun, dun. Like, it's like sometimes life is like, now you can't deny it. There you go. Yeah, it's right there.

[Shane]

Just gonna make sure that the truth comes out.

[Ethan]

Yeah, right. I wanna know what his logic was behind the tattoos even more. You know, like, we know the logic, but I'm just like, so blatant so there. Like, I wonder if it was like, his way of kind of committing to this affair. Cause she was probably like, are you gonna leave your wife? Whatever? And he's like, no, I'll get the. No, but I gotta. I got this right here. And I got this for our new child, too. And I'm also like, you know, I'm sure his daughter, 18, is gonna figure this out and it's gonna be like, okay, cool, you got a tattoo for your new child. Cool. What was he gonna do? That's kinda what I'm thinking. I'm like, this is a betrayal when you have kids. I'm like, you're betraying your kids too. There's the added stakes there.

[Shane]

I think you have a great point of he kind of already had this other woman in terms of his wife, he's like, oh, we're in a committed marriage. She's not going anywhere. I have this kid. They already love me. Now that I have an affair and a new kid, I need to prove to them that I'm gonna show up for them. So I'm gonna get this tattoo. Cause that's what they need. They need to just not find out about them. In his head, he's like, I'm awesome.

[Amanda]

Yeah. No, seriously, that's exactly what's happening.

[Ethan]

Damn.

[Amanda]

Update.

[Ethan]

No update. I think she's divorcing the shit out of him.

[Shane]

Yeah, good.

[Amanda]

Definitely good.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Ethan]

Unrelated, like, I'm always surprised by, like, the first tattoo people get and where they get it. And like, a chest tattoo is a bold first.

[Amanda]

Bold.

[Ethan]

I think it's cool, but I'm just like, damn. Like, bold. People usually get, like, a small one somewhere where it's like, okay, like, I'm starting out.

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Ethan]

But like, first, right off the bat, bam.

[Amanda]

Bold. Yeah. Huge. I don't have a tattoo. Cause I can't think of a tattoo that I want forever. Like, there's not one that I'm in.

[Ethan]

The same exact boat. I want one. I love tattoos. I think they look sick.

[Shane]

See, I think for me, it's kind of if I get a tattoo on my body, it's not necessarily important for me that this means something for the whole rest of my life. It's more just like, even if this just represents the time that I got this tattoo and I was happy about it, then I can just look back and be like, that version of me is really happy with this. And so I'm gonna honor that version.

[Amanda]

That's true.

[Ethan]

I've heard that. And I've also heard once you start getting tattoos, then you just go, you don't care. The stakes are lower. Totally. Yeah. Cause I look at like. Like, Spencer has a lot of tattoos that I think are sick. And it's just like video game and like, Ninja Turtles. Yeah, Ninja Turtles. And like, he's got the squirtle squad. That looks so sick. Our final, final story.

[Amanda]

Whoa.

[Ethan]

This is another confession.

[Shane]

Oof.

[Ethan]

Here we go.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Ethan]

I lied to my co worker about the cupcakes in the break room. Classic.

[Shane]

This is.

[Amanda]

This is scarily Devastating.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Ethan]

My co worker can't eat cupcakes because she just got diagnosed with Crohn's disease and is on an elimination diet. But she loves to eat. She sounded very sad when she warned me that there were cupcakes in the break room. So I lied and told her they sucked and were dry and the icing was crusty, but they were perfectly delicious. I even mentioned in passing to another coworker eating cupcakes who is also aware of her stomach issues to tell her they sucked. She later told me that she felt better knowing they weren't that good because she couldn't eat them, but they were good. I feel bad lying and roping someone else into it. That's so funny.

[Shane]

Oh, my God.

[Amanda]

My God.

[Shane]

I've read it.

[Ethan]

They were trash. God, they were awful. My life is worse than eating them.

[Amanda]

An email to everyone in the office. The cupcakes are trash.

[Shane]

Cece.

[Amanda]

Just the other. It's like, guys, they're actually so funny.

[Ethan]

The guy who made them was like, aw.

[Amanda]

Yeah, he called me.

[Ethan]

Fuck you, Jake. These fucking sucked. Damn.

[Amanda]

It's like Jake's Bakery coming 2027. I guess not. He rips it off. Aw, guys, I made it up.

[Shane]

No, Jake, this is where I.

[Ethan]

This is where, you know, I have such a hard stance against lies. This is where I struggle. Cause I'm like, you're lying to make someone feel good.

[Shane]

Ok, this is fine. No, it's actually. I'm so glad that you said that. There's a Bollywood movie that there is a line in it, and it's jis jut se kisika kushi hotai vo jut jut nae hai.

[Amanda]

Whoa.

[Shane]

Which means. Which means love.

[Ethan]

That I understand.

[Shane]

That was fun. Yeah.

[Amanda]

You guys got that?

[Shane]

Do you like that got means? Like, it roughly translates to, like, if the lie is going to make someone happy, it's not a lie, which is complete bullshit. But.

[Ethan]

And Bollywood movies, the logic fully sound.

[Amanda]

It makes sense.

[Shane]

But it's truly like in that movie. It's just full of flooding people with lies to protect them. It's constantly just like, oh, no, no, no. I'm lying because I don't want you to be hurt by that.

[Amanda]

It's a white lie.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Ethan]

But it's Is the resolution of the movie at all about that being wrong? Cause if you're saying a buildup of lies. Oh, it's not.

[Amanda]

You didn't finish it?

[Shane]

No, no.

[Ethan]

I don't know. I stopped watching. Yeah.

[Shane]

I don't know. I turned it off. No, it's definitely like they go through with that being the full message. And it's like, this is a story that in a weird way kind of reinforces that where it's like, you aren't really harming anybody except for Jake and his business. Maybe Jake's bakery. Yeah.

[Ethan]

It's also arguably a subjective lie where it's like, oh, we all think these suck. No, we all thought they were good. It's not an objective lie of like, this isn't happening kind of thing.

[Amanda]

I get going up to the person and being like, oh, they suck. And the person's like, aw, thanks. You know, and then everything's fine for them to go so hard. I'm like, they suck.

[Shane]

They're actually trash.

[Amanda]

You know what?

[Ethan]

I also have this view where it's like, okay, it's a lie that if they uncover the lie, are they gonna feel bad or not? And it's like in a way, if I found out that everybody was lying and saying they sucked so that I didn't feel bad, I'd actually be like, okay, that's actually also really chill that you guys did like that.

[Shane]

Sweet.

[Ethan]

Finding that out wouldn't make me feel worse. It almost made me feel better. They'd be like, wow, everyone would do that just cause I. Yeah, yeah.

[Shane]

I think you have to evaluate who is being harmed. Is there anybody that is going to be hurt should the truth come out? Is the lie itself hurting people? Are you getting people's emotions involved? Are you going to feel guilty, like, truly doing an all around, like check in?

[Ethan]

And this lie kind of ends with today? Because once we move on, it's not like people are gonna be talking about the cupcakes.

[Amanda]

Well, Jake is quitting.

[Shane]

Jake's switching fields.

[Amanda]

I guess I'll be an accountant, just like my parents wanted.

[Shane]

I guess I'll work at State Park.

[Amanda]

But I will say, if that was me and everyone lied to say it sucked, I would have been like, what's wrong with me? Am I like the one who flips out?

[Ethan]

Oh, yeah, no, no.

[Shane]

It's tricky. It's tricky.

[Ethan]

Comments. This was a lie for good, not evil. Though someone said, yeah, not all lies are bad. This didn't hurt anyone and actually made someone's day better. So, Opie, you have absolutely nothing to feel bad over. Someone said, this kind of lie is perfectly okay in my opinion. Unless they were made by a coworker. Then social norms dictate you say nice things because it would get back to who made them. Context from another comment by Op. The cupcakes came from a different floor, so not made by anyone close or around. Okay. In that case, unless it gets down to that next floor.

[Amanda]

So Jake's like, everyone loved my cupcakes. He has no idea. Ignorance is bliss.

[Ethan]

Floor five hated him.

[Shane]

I really like that language of it is a lie, but it's a good lie or it's a lie for good in that way. But don't call it not a lie. You know? So again, the Bollywood movie's very wrong.

[Amanda]

I'm worried about you, like, taking on this new thing about good lies.

[Ethan]

Yeah, I don't.

[Shane]

All my lies are good.

[Amanda]

This is what worries me.

[Shane]

I didn't hurt anybody.

[Ethan]

I'm not sure about this message.

[Amanda]

Guys.

[Shane]

Think about it. I got everybody donuts that day.

[Ethan]

That is true.

[Amanda]

We all. Yeah, but I watched you be upset that day, and I was like, yeah.

[Shane]

No, that part was bad. That part was bad.

[Amanda]

So the donut didn't taste as good. But we.

[Shane]

But we got closer.

[Amanda]

We actually did.

[Shane]

And so now I'm a good person.

[Amanda]

Yeah. Bye. No, the video's not over.

[Ethan]

Thank you both for being here.

[Amanda]

Oh, my God, we loved it.

[Ethan]

Thank you for watching. Let us know, what are the themes and subreddits you'd like to see on the show? Let us know in the comments if you're holding back any big lies in your life, Confess. Confess in the comments and we'll see you next Saturday. Goodbye.

[Brad]

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