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Shane
Hi, welcome to Smosh Reads Reddit Stories. I'm Shane, and today's theme is updates.
Ian
Y.
Shane
So buckle up for some good stuff. We got a lot of updates coming your way. And I'm joined by two people who have updates to tell me. Ian and Tommy.
Ian
I'm pregnant.
Shane
Whoa. Better top. You gotta top that.
Tommy
Mmm.
Shane
We're pregnant.
Ian
There we go.
Shane
Ian, you were here for the last updates episode.
Ian
Okay.
Shane
Which had the story about the butterfly.
Ian
Oh, brother.
Shane
Oh, butter. Yeah, yeah. Op. Her boyfriend kept disappearing to the bathroom with a stick of butter and then would come out and he didn't have.
Ian
The butter anymore, and she would hear moans from the bathroom.
Tommy
Was I in that episode or did I just listen to that episode?
Shane
It was Damian who was in it. Okay.
Tommy
I just listened. Cause I'm a fan and also editor. Yeah, it's crazy. It's crazy.
Shane
Yeah. One of many crazy stories we read here. But anyways, thought we'd point that out. I don't know if that's gonna mean anything.
Ian
Whoa.
Shane
There was a note. There was a note to bring that up.
Tommy
We gotta bup.
Ian
Date. Oh, nice. If Butterboy saw this episode.
Shane
Oh, no.
Ian
Gave an update. That'd be crazy.
Shane
Oh, no.
Ian
I hope he gave some tips.
Shane
All right. Yeah.
Ian
Hey, hey.
Shane
All right. Well, so obviously expect some updates.
Ian
I'm so stoked. I love. Updates are the best.
Shane
It's always the best. Our first story. Am I The asshole told my coworker that she's falling for a romance scam and now she's upset. My friend. Let's call her N. N and I have worked together for three to four years at a hair salon. N is early 30s, kind of an airhead, gullible, but really kind and nice person. She's currently in a relationship with this guy for the last six months. He lives in New York, we're in the Midwest. They talk on the phone all the time. He's been out here a couple of times to visit. We've never met, but I have heard a lot about their relationship. This morning she texted me at 6am asking to borrow $10,000 because her boyfriend's mom has a family emergency and needs the money soon. She said he's working on an offshore oil rig in Dubai for two months and can't transfer the money until he's back to the States. She doesn't have the money, so she asked if I can ask my relatives for the 10k for her. I told her that this sounds like a romance scam and that if he's asking her for such a big amount of money like that early in their relationship, it's a red flag and that she should. I told her that since I don't know her boyfriend that well and if he ghosts her, either me or her will be on the hook for the $10,000. Now she won't answer my text or call. She also took a personal day from work today. Am I the asshole? Should I have kept my mouth shut and minded my own business? Edit? Yes. She is very naive and gullible. She believes she can talk to ghosts and spirits. That's another can of worms that I won't get into. She didn't bring her boyfriend around when he was in town a couple of times. Just a bunch of excuses. But I told her sister about it and got an earful about how I shouldn't judge a person in need like that. I gave up. I sent her a few articles about sweetheart and pig butchering scams. Still no reply. I know she read it. She's not the type that's loaded. She lives with her parents in their basement and lives paycheck to paycheck. I hope she will realize this is a scam before she's in debt. This will be an expensive lesson. Thank you for letting me vent. Oh no.
Tommy
Oh no.
Ian
Yeah. That doesn't sound great. Cause as we all know, oil is not in Dubai. It's in Abu Dhabi, guys. Dubai is purely tourist. That's my story.
Shane
I wish she'd have told her that, you know, Dubai is where they have all that chocolate.
Ian
Exactly. They got the chocolate. That's. Yeah, it's the chocolate and the big. In the big building.
Tommy
It's the first thing you learn in elementary school.
Shane
Yeah.
Tommy
Yeah. That's too bad.
Shane
Okay, this sucks.
Tommy
This sucks. She's getting scammed.
Shane
She's definitely getting scammed.
Ian
For sure. Yeah.
Shane
Yeah. I kind of have had this, like, barometer for my entire life, or at least my adulthood, of, like, relationships. Like, the first six months, like, don't do anything extreme in that first six months. Like, don't. This is me. People don't have to listen to this.
Tommy
Right?
Shane
But it's like, whenever I hear about people being like, we're getting engaged, and I'm like, have you been together for six months? That's always where I'm like, that, to me, always feels like a little fast.
Tommy
Right?
Shane
And I think giving the person you're dating a large sum of money in the first six months fits into that. Unless it's like, you are hanging out with their family. You are there. You've got all the evidence in front of you, but you're talking mostly on the phone with this guy, and he's like, by the way, I need $10,000. It's like, I'm gonna need to see some more.
Tommy
I'm like, how often does this work? Should I be asking for $10,000? Should I just pull that for 10?
Shane
Yeah, yeah.
Tommy
Should I just be, like, throwing it out there?
Shane
Shoot your shot.
Ian
Okay. Yeah, yeah. Be like, I need the new PS5.
Tommy
It's $10,000.
Shane
$10,000. There's then the leap that she's asking a co worker for 10,000, asking for if they have relatives. It's becoming a whole mlm.
Ian
Yeah, right.
Tommy
Yeah.
Ian
Because I'm sure she told him, like, she doesn't have any money. And he's like, no, no worries. Ask your family. Ask your friends.
Tommy
Yeah, exactly.
Ian
I actually.
Tommy
I actually don't think asking your coworkers for $10,000 is crazy. Right? James. James, do you.
Shane
James, what's.
Tommy
James, do you have. I asked you if you had. Do you have.
Shane
James is looking over at Eric.
Tommy
$10,000.
Ian
10,000.
Shane
What is a pig butchering scam, Ian? Do you know?
Ian
I mean, I watched the John Oliver episode on pig butchering, but it's basically like, you know, you fatten up your target. You know, you get them all buttered up and then you go in for the kill and you get all that money from them. So it's a lot of the romance scams are like the Tinder swindler. All this, like the Brad Pitt scam in the hospital woman.
Shane
Yeah, hospital woman.
Ian
So there's a woman that gave like, I don't know what it was like $50,000 because she thought she was dating Brad Pitt.
Tommy
Oh.
Ian
And he sent her photos of him in a hospital and they were like really terribly photoshopped images of Brad.
Shane
I crashed in the F1 movie and.
Ian
Now I need help. And yeah, she sinned. She sent who she thought was Brad Pitt.
Shane
She thought Brad Pitt needed $50,000.
Ian
Yeah. I mean, would you agree to be in that F1 movie if you had money? Actually, I don't know if it was a bad movie.
Shane
I think it was apparently amazing movie.
Tommy
People really liked it.
Ian
Was it okay?
Tommy
I haven't seen it, but people like it.
Shane
It's apparently really good.
Tommy
Oh, okay. Every dad is happy with it.
Shane
Yeah.
Ian
Yeah.
Shane
It always makes me really sad.
Ian
Yes.
Shane
It's heartbreaking. It's heartbreaking. It unfortunately, good scam, like, people are lonely. That's a way to get em.
Ian
Oh.
Shane
And it really works. I mean, she's so convinced, she's so like wanting to do this for this guy that when her friend calls it out, she just stops talking to her. Yeah. As we know, there's gonna be updates.
Tommy
So I'm still gonna react like I didn't know there was one.
Shane
Yeah, yeah. So he did visit her. That doesn't mean he can't still scam her. Right. Like, you know, he visited her a couple times in person.
Ian
But I think a lot of these, I'm surprised that they actually saw each other. Cause like a lot of these are like, oh, like it's like, you know, a young woman in like quote unquote Venezuela, like reaching out to like some 55 year old man in Ohio, being.
Tommy
Like, I can't face time.
Ian
Yeah, yeah. And then, and then being like, oh, I'm in this bad accident or something, like sending money. Right. So I'm surprised he showed up, which is like.
Shane
Yeah, I think this stuff is happening all the time. There is a. We have an article title here. Scammer pretending to be Keanu Reeves Bilkes Bay Area woman out of $160,000.
Tommy
Whoa.
Shane
Boomers got that money and they believe anything they see online.
Tommy
We have learned this, We've learned that.
Shane
Yeah. I'M wondering with AI, how much boomers are getting scammed.
Ian
So effed. Just don't trust anybody, guys.
Shane
Yeah, don't trust anyone.
Tommy
Hey, listen. Don't trust anybody at all. Yeah, live miserably. Live miserably. Be upset.
Ian
Don't trust anyone online. Anyone online. But give me $10,000.
Shane
But give Ian $10,000.
Ian
I need it. I need it. Cause my foot hurts, so.
Shane
James.
Ian
James. My foot hurt.
Shane
Some comments here. Not the asshole. That's a classic scam scenario. And in any case, she shouldn't be trying to borrow such a large sum of money from you and your relatives, even for her, much less for a total stranger who sounds nice online. It's a good thing that you warned her. I suppose you might have added links to some reliable sources on scams too, if you had had the chance. Now, you can only hope that she comes to a sensible conclusion while isolating herself from you and taking time off work. I hope to think and do research. Someone said, not the asshole. And how do people have the audacity to just ask for $10,000 to their friends, co workers? Someone said, not the asshole. I worked with a lady that fell for one of these. I even contacted the med school she said he went to and confirmed he was not an Al. And she still wouldn't let it go. Eventually, she realized, and she later admitted, that the Valentine's Day flowers she received at work were actually sent to herself.
Ian
Aw.
Tommy
Oh, God.
Shane
Someone said, not the asshole. You can take a thirsty horse to the lake, but you can't force the horse to drink the water it needs. You already did your part. It's up to her to do hers.
Ian
Yeah.
Shane
Update. What? A few days later.
Tommy
Oh, okay.
Shane
Those little tiny mice at the bottom of the screen, she's like, all those ladders.
Tommy
Wait, what's that in. Babe?
Shane
Babe? Yes.
Tommy
Thank you.
Ian
Yes.
Shane
Yeah, someone will get it. All right. She just texted and asked for the money under the guise of her sister needing it. It was a flat no. I feel bad for her. I told other coworkers and my boss about it so they can say no to her. And maybe she'll understand from a group perspective that we're trying to protect her. Way to go. Update number two.
Tommy
What?
Shane
Two and a half weeks after the original post, what we, me and many Redditors suspected was true. She was in a romance game. She has never met her boyfriend in person. They only talk online. Oh, so she was lying about seeing him in person.
Ian
Aw, damn.
Shane
She said she was lonely and was afraid of being alone. She Said her boyfriend stopped contacting her after she couldn't get the money and. And started asking simple questions like no Internet on the rig, satellite phone, et cetera. After she realized that he was scamming her, she started telling me about how she had been sending him small amounts of money, like 50 to $500 in the past six months to help him out with some small emergencies. When he ghosted her after she couldn't help him with the $10,000, that's when she realized that she had been romance scammed. I'm glad that she saw it for what it was.
Tommy
Well, at least she didn't do the $10,000 part.
Ian
That's true.
Tommy
The giant bullet bill. Not the little ones, but, you know, the big one you gotta squat in that little pit for.
Ian
Yeah, I want another update. That was like Brad Pitt told me, I did a great job handling that and we're gonna go to Italy tomorrow, but he said that his card's getting declined, so.
Tommy
Yeah, yeah, yeah. My friend almost got $10,000 taken away, but Brad Pitt and I are going to France today. Damn. I mean, still. It all still sucks.
Shane
It's.
Tommy
It sucks. It's good that she was able to.
Shane
Figure it out, right? I really feel bad for her.
Ian
Lot of lonely folks out there.
Shane
It's really sad. I mean, I understand when people are so lonely, why they wanna believe so bad. We've all found ourselves in places where it's like. And whether it's believing, oh, I have a crush on this person, maybe they like me back. And it's like, oh. And then you look back and you're like, no, they never did. Why was I convincing myself of that? We all find ourselves in places where we want to believe in something. But you have to always have a healthy amount of doubt. Go. Wait, why am I sending $500 to this person?
Tommy
Yes, you lie to yourself. The best. Yeah, I've suspended my disbelief for far too long plenty of times before.
Narrator/Ad Voice
From the Cascades to PDX to your kitchen. We recycle like we live here. That's why governments, brands, and recycling companies are all joining together to bring change to make recycling better. As in trusting that your recyclables end up in the right places to be made into new things. And having brands help fund the cost of recycling. You can find the Latest updates@recycleon.org Oregon. From Mount Hood to the bin under your desk. Together we can do this.
Shane
I'm here on a job site with Tim, who owns his own electrical contracting business.
Ian
Three employees and two work trucks.
Shane
Tim traded up to Geico Commercial Auto Insurance. We're positively hitting where he needs us most.
Tommy
They sure are.
Shane
With step by step help on all his insurance needs. All for shockingly low rates.
Ian
Shockingly low, huh?
Shane
Just a little bit of electrician humor. Do you get it? I got it. You know, it feels like we have a real connection.
Tommy
All right, I'll stop.
Shane
Get a commercial auto insurance quote today@geico.com and see how much you could save. Get more with Geico Today's episode of Reddit Stories is brought to you by Zocdoc. I always forget to schedule my doctor's appointments, especially my biannual cleaning with the dentist. Life happens and it's easy to get sidetracked. But Zocdoc makes it easy to find the right doctor. Right now, Zocdoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment. I love that you can filter for doctors who take your insurance and are nearby. With Zocdoc, I can find someone who is near the smosh office so that after filming all day, I can easily pop over to my appointments. I can choose a time slot that works best for my schedule and with a click book instantly my teeth are going to be glistening after this appointment. But truly, I had pushed off so many doctor's appointments before I downloaded ZocDoc and I was amazed at how simple it was. I had all my doctor's appointments planned within weeks. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to zocdoc.com PittReddit to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's zocdoc.com PittReddit zocdoc.com PitReddit Back to the show. Our next story. Am I the asshole for telling my heavily pregnant friend her fiance was in a documentary? So this was posted only two weeks ago as of today. Okay. It's currently 4am and I feel so guilty right now I can't sleep. So myself and a few girlfriends decided to watch a documentary that's been trending. Not gonna lie, I was expecting a documentary showing a human side of a certain person. But yeah, as anyone who has watched the documentary knows what it was. So the documentary that OP is referring to was the 1000 Men and Me the Bonnie Blue Story, where an OnlyFans adult content creator Bonnie Blue had sex with 1,057 men in 12 hours. The event was fully recorded and the footage is shown in the documentary. Onto the issue. My Friend's fiance was one of the 1,000. I wasn't the first person to notice. Two other friends were the first to notice. I didn't believe it at first, but with a second watch, it was definitely him. Even though his face was covered, the body shape and especially the tattoos were undeniable. We debated till the early hours of the morning if we should tell her or wait because she's eight months pregnant. But in my opinion, if someone cheats like that, it's not their first time. And I'd rather lose her friendship for telling straight away the than her finding out I knew and hid it. Because, let's be real, when you tell someone news like that, there's a huge chance they'll hate you. Not the cheater. So this Sunday morning, I asked my friends to meet up to talk. I showed her the evidence, and the minute she looked at the picture, she knew it was him and broke down. I expected her to be angry at me, but she thanked me for being honest. As multiple people have hinted that she should watch the documentary instead of being up front like I was.
Ian
No, wait, wait. Why can't you just try just telling her first?
Shane
No, don't tell her. Let her watch her husband have sex with him.
Tommy
Yeah, just check this out.
Shane
That is.
Ian
That is. That is.
Shane
Come on.
Ian
So that's.
Shane
That's messed up. That's making an excuse for your cowardice.
Tommy
Right?
Shane
It's like, Right.
Ian
I mean, like. I mean, like, I think it was. I think it was right for her to tell her friend. Obviously it was right for her to tell her friend. Absolutely.
Tommy
Yes.
Ian
Tell. Don't. We don't need to. That's one of those things where maybe tell don't show.
Shane
I think it's. I agree. Cause I think there's many situations where it's like, oh, there was video of your boyfriend at the club making out with someone. It's like, oh, show her the evidence and stuff. It's like, no, you can just tell her she doesn't need to watch that shit.
Ian
Yeah.
Shane
And then if she doesn't believe you.
Tommy
Then if you need to, then you.
Shane
Can go look, it's there, but you probably don't want to see it.
Ian
Or worst case scenario, just take a screenshot that's like. Of him that doesn't show stuff going on.
Shane
Sure.
Ian
Like, be like, okay, trust me. There's no other video. There's no other content with this guy being. I don't know. But also I'm like. I'm like, did they have a documentary crew filming the Porn crew, Probably. I have so many questions. Probably.
Shane
There's a lot.
Ian
Did they greenlight the documentary? Probably a lot of layers side by side with. Wow.
Shane
I ended up driving her to her mom's house. I'm guessing she told her fiance. I told her because he has been blowing up my phone, calling me an evil little home wrecker who ruined not only his life and. And calling me out on social media for trying to ruin his relationship and wanting his unborn daughter to grow up without a dad. My friends are angry with me for telling her straight away and not waiting till she had the baby in case the stress would cause issues to her health. I don't give two shits if I'm being honest about her fiance, but I feel so bad for putting my friend in this situation while heavily pregnant. And I'm worried if something does happen to her, it will be my fault. Maybe she would have watched it herself and found out on her own. Am I the asshole for telling my pregnant friend her fiance was in a documentary?
Tommy
Okay, well, there's no right time to accomplish this.
Shane
There's no right time. I would also assume with something like that. There's been a lot of discourse about this on TikTok and Reddit and all.
Tommy
Over the documentary itself.
Shane
The documentary itself? I assume. You have to assume she's gonna find out. Right. This isn't like, oh, I saw your husband or your fiance at a restaurant and they were by themselves, like, oh, maybe nobody else is gonna know about this. This is a wild. There's a published work out there.
Ian
Yeah. And like, you know, somebody's going for a record and you're gonna be like, oh, I'm gonna do this on the sly and no one's going to find out.
Tommy
Oh, there's. There's noticeable filming it.
Shane
There's noticeable tattoos.
Ian
Yeah, come on, man.
Shane
And he's acting like she's the one who ruined the home record. You made a choice, man. You sat there, you probably waited for hours that day.
Tommy
Like, yeah, line out the door.
Shane
You probably had eight hours eating a.
Ian
Crystal ball to sit there and go.
Shane
What am I doing?
Tommy
Right?
Shane
Yeah, but you never stopped when they.
Tommy
Said that this obviously isn't his first time. That's like, that's so true.
Shane
Oh, my God.
Tommy
You're not gonna start there.
Shane
Yeah.
Ian
I feel like I wanna see a documentary of those thousand guys and just like, get their thought process on what they were thinking.
Shane
I think a fair thing to say regarding cheating in general is that you are also putting your partner at risk in a health Way, Especially this. Cause it is effectively sleeping with a thousand people.
Tommy
Did they use protection?
Shane
I don't know.
Tommy
Yeah. I haven't seen the documentary, but it.
Shane
Doesn'T really matter to me. You sleep with one person, you sleep with one person, you don't know what.
Tommy
What they've done.
Shane
Yeah. Cause he's sleeping with strangers, so he doesn't know the situation. And his wife is pregnant. Like, this is. I understand. So they bring up a concern that's valid of, like, being concerned about her health because she's eight months pregnant. Sure. Her husband is not considering. Or her fiance is not considering her health.
Tommy
Right.
Shane
There's some context from the comments. Opie says our friend group is afraid that the stress would harm her, as she has had issues during the pregnancy and suffers from panic attacks. If anything were to happen to her or the baby, I'd never forgive myself. I understand that. I think that's valid. I also agree that, like, it's like, there's no good time.
Tommy
There's no good time.
Shane
I don't know. I don't think, like, waiting for the baby to be born to that. That feels also messed up.
Ian
But I feel like there could have been a better way to like, relay the information to her rather than just like, here's the video.
Shane
Well, she. And she didn't show her the video.
Ian
Oh, she didn't? Oh, I thought she did.
Shane
No. So OP told her straight away, her friends were saying, no, you should have just had her watch the video.
Ian
Oh, yeah.
Tommy
The friends were like, you should watch the video.
Shane
Op said, no, I want to just tell her.
Ian
Oh, good, good, good, good.
Shane
So, no, as far as we know, she showed her the evidence. So she showed her a picture. Yeah, she looked at the picture, she knew it was him and broke down. So there's a picture, but not watching more. But I. Yeah, I don't know. That's a tough. That's a tough thing.
Ian
It's damned if you do, damned if you do.
Tommy
It's messy or garbage.
Shane
It's a whole situation. But to be clear, he's the one who made this situation. Exactly. She's now burdened with the knowledge. And I can't really fault someone for being like, I'm going to immediately go and tell you. Like, we've read so many stories and our takeaway so many times with knowledge of cheaters. It's like, yeah, go tell him. Like, right off the bat, like, that's really. Like, that's your friend. Like, yeah.
Ian
And he puts. And he puts. I mean, he puts the wife at risk. He puts the baby at risk. Like, I don't know if they use protection during all that stuff, but, like, sleeping with somebody that's sleeping with that many people potentially getting something that you could give to the wife and the baby, like, when the baby's delivered, like, that's just, like, not good.
Tommy
Just not good all around.
Ian
Not smart.
Shane
No op left a comment saying they got engaged on Christmas Day, and my friend would have found out around January she was pregnant. She didn't tell us till she was three months pregnant. Okay. Someone said, just to be clear, since the op wasn't, the dude was in a porn video banging a random chick with 999 other guys, apparently while already with his fiance. I'm pretty sure this is cut and dry. Someone said so. Apparently many people in her circle have seen this and recognized the jerk, all keeping silent and maybe hinting she watched. How would her watching and suddenly seeing her baby's father be part of this disgusting freak show have been less stressful? You are not the asshole. You had the courage to tell her what so many others were whispering behind her back. It's true that like many others, she may decide to stay. Even if that happens and she pulls away from you, you still did the right thing. Yeah. Watching and being blindsided by that.
Tommy
You're watching crazy.
Shane
Like, oh, my God.
Tommy
That would be harder to deal with.
Shane
Yeah. Oh, my God. You want to know?
Ian
Yeah.
Shane
Someone said, I'm six months pregnant and I would want to know. Someone said, not the asshole. He hid his face and didn't tell her because he knew he shouldn't do it. He's facing the consequences of his choices. I guess men were wearing ski masks to help obscure their identities in this.
Ian
Who wants to watch that? Yeah. I mean, hey, I don't know.
Tommy
You're pregnant. Wouldn't you want to know?
Shane
That's true.
Ian
Yes.
Tommy
There you go.
Ian
And there you go.
Tommy
You heard it here, folks.
Ian
I would love to know for the sake of my child and our child. Sorry. Our child.
Tommy
I'm so sorry.
Ian
Yeah.
Tommy
I forget.
Shane
Yeah. Lastly, someone said he not only cheated, he did it in the most hideous way. What sort of STDs has he brought to his fiance? An unborn child. You are not the asshole. His behavior is particularly disgraceful given the way he's gone straight to offense and blaming you to deflect from what he's done. I hope she doesn't take him back. Yeah, I don't know the logistics, but I don't think there's a safe way that that happens. Like, that's 1,000 people.
Ian
It's not foolproof.
Shane
That's definitely not really something could slip through.
Ian
That's just about the most heinous way to cheat on somebody. That's a type of cheat.
Shane
I would think many people who cheat would go, oh, well, I'm not doing that. Well, I'm not crazy.
Tommy
It's the Godzilla of cheating.
Ian
They're like, how dare you? At least just find a motel and banging the military.
Shane
I'm a member of class.
Ian
We've all heard about this video. Yeah, right?
Shane
I have heard about this.
Ian
Yes.
Tommy
Yeah. Guinness was there.
Ian
We're all men of culture.
Shane
The Guinness person was there. Like, Jesus Christ.
Tommy
This one doesn't count.
Ian
Yeah, it is funny.
Shane
There's, like, a challenge bit. They're there too.
Ian
There's, like a Guinness World Records, like, dispatch center. They're like, okay, you're gonna go to Smosh for this. And, Jerry, you're going to the giant orgy.
Shane
Yeah.
Ian
He's like, yay. I thought they would give me the most rubber bands on an arm.
Shane
Yeah. I'm in Iowa for biggest corn. Well, this corn here is pretty big.
Tommy
Wait.
Shane
Yeah? What?
Tommy
There's an update, isn't there?
Shane
Update.
Ian
Oh, my God.
Shane
1,000 updates.
Ian
Bonnie Blue Ways.
Tommy
It wasn't me. It wasn't me. It wasn't me. It wasn't me.
Shane
What I like about this story is that we're judging him. Like, I feel like a lot of discourse I saw was focused on judging the woman in that video. But I'm like, that's crazy. It's a thousand guys. I'm like, what do they think? Like, what are they doing?
Tommy
Let's look at that as well.
Shane
Update the next day. My friend's fiance wasn't the only one of our partners to do the lineup. Oh, no.
Ian
Yes. Yes. Do they all just, like, live in the same town? She's, like, British, right? Is this in the uk?
Tommy
I don't know.
Shane
I don't know. I don't know.
Ian
Yeah, I mean, it's a small island, you know? Everyone knows everyone.
Tommy
It's a Small World ride at Disney. Except it's horrific to look at.
Shane
Guys, get ready.
Tommy
Okay.
Shane
Op writes, my boyfriend of three years was one.
Ian
Let's go.
Shane
All right.
Ian
Do you think they carpooled?
Shane
So was another friend's husband.
Ian
Stop. What are we doing, guys?
Shane
Okay, this is off. These guys are idiots.
Tommy
Oh, no.
Shane
I don't wanna see the sex. I wanna see, like, the drive home where they're just all in the Jetta.
Ian
Just, like, yeah, it's either that or none of them knew they were gonna be there. And they see each other in the ski mask.
Tommy
They're like, jerry, Steven, do you mind going with Don Wilde after this?
Ian
Don't you have a wife?
Tommy
God. What happens at the sex cache?
Ian
Oh, wow.
Tommy
Stays at the sex cage.
Shane
Two hours ago, he op's friend's fiance, Screenshots of a group chat and photographic receipts. No one could deny other men in relationships are involved. He said in the caption, I wasn't the only one there. Tags me. Maybe check your man before coming for. My relationship tags five other women. I'm not taking the blame alone and being seen as the bad guy. While tags, the men did the same. There was a lot more said, but I stopped reading and just deleted my social media account and then blocked my now. Exactly. I don't want to hear his explanation. I feel so humiliated and physically sick. I don't know how I'm gonna face the coworkers or clients at work tomorrow. I wish I could just disappear. My phone is going crazy, so I'm going to turn it off, go take a long shower, then see if I can get any sleep for what I'm sure will be a hell tomorrow. Aw, dude.
Ian
He really said, if I'm going down, I'm taking everyone down with me. That's why I.
Tommy
But then it's like, well, good. I'm glad she initially said something, because she's, you know, she got to end up, like, clearing out all the minds.
Shane
Of the mind for us. No, she can't be like, I don't think she's upset that this all transpired, that this domino effect.
Tommy
I'm just like, well, I'm glad she did. Cause now it's all out in the open.
Shane
But it is humiliating as fuck.
Ian
Of course.
Tommy
Of course.
Shane
It really is the Godzilla of cheating. It's the Godzilla. Cause you're not only. You're cheating in such a public way that it's like, yeah, everyone's gonna know about this. They're gonna know I'm dating someone who did this without me knowing that. And, like, all right, dude, cool.
Ian
They should have had, like, a ski mask for, like, their whole body, you know?
Tommy
Ski body.
Ian
Skiba. Skiba. Skibidi. Toilet.
Shane
They're in. What's it called? The morph suits. Yeah, but just imagine.
Ian
Imagine if 1000 guys in morph suits and they're just wieners are out. Sorry.
Tommy
And one mummy.
Ian
It's a funny image. One mummy. Yeah. And one ninja. Yeah. Okay. If they all. If they all had Halloween costumes on. I might watch it.
Tommy
That would be fun.
Ian
Cause it's like, oh, who's next? Spongebob? God and his nose. Nevermind.
Tommy
Yeah. It's just so. What a. Okay, okay. May I say horrible update.
Shane
Horrible update.
Tommy
Could I just say absolutely horrible update.
Shane
You may.
Tommy
One of the worst.
Shane
Sometimes you get updates where it takes a real nice turn for the horror.
Tommy
I know, but that's what I love.
Shane
Updates are gonna be better, man. There's those ones where the updates get worse and worse, where we get more and more reve.
Ian
Yeah. Damn. Is that where five Guys Burgers and fries got their name? Mm. That was a bad joke. That was a stupid joke.
Shane
Five burgers, one burger, five guys.
Tommy
Hey, we got there again.
Ian
We figured it out.
Tommy
We got there.
Shane
Comments. Honestly, he thought he was getting revenge, when in reality he did all those women a big favor by exposing the rest of them.
Ian
Exactly.
Shane
Gotta love it when the trash takes it to. Someone said, what a wild ride. I think oop, did the right thing by deleting her social media and taking time to herself. But what a horrible, horrible human being is this guy. I don't really know what to say. These guys asterisks.
Ian
Yeah.
Shane
Someone said, radical concept. If you are in a committed monogamous relationship with a person, don't sleep with other people. It's not that hard. Jesus fucking Christ. Bonus tip. Don't film it. Someone said, I have never had an update. Knock me out of my chair this hard.
Ian
Right?
Shane
Yeah. Op. It's strange to read where OP is not the subject matter. They're like, this is happening to my friend. And then they get drafted into it too. Oh. It's actually just as much me. These guys suck horribly. Wow. These are awful dudes.
Tommy
Yeah.
Shane
Glad they got exposed.
Tommy
It just sucks again.
Shane
There's not really like any silver lining, really. Out of this one.
Ian
I'm like, where did they find all these men?
Shane
LA casting.
Ian
Yeah. Yeah.
Shane
It's a thought. I don't wanna think too much. Is just how many men were cheating on partners on that day.
Ian
Yes.
Shane
That's an aspect that I'm like, oh my God.
Tommy
Right?
Ian
Yeah.
Tommy
Cause we know it's gotta be more than these five guys.
Ian
And you know, like when they casted for that, they didn't care about that.
Shane
They don't care about it.
Ian
Anything.
Tommy
They're reaching a number, not a quality thing.
Ian
How big was that crafty table? A thousand guys.
Tommy
I feel like it was less of a production than you're imagining it being.
Shane
I highly doubt.
Tommy
I don't think they had sun chip on a table.
Ian
I'm imagining they needed a whole Universal Studios soundstage.
Tommy
They rent out CBS for it.
Ian
Yeah. They flew people in.
Tommy
Steven Spielberg's like, let's take it again.
Shane
I'm just thinking, like, the rig. He's moving around.
Ian
Yeah. You need, like, military level, like, logistics to pull this off. I feel like, how do you feed a thousand people? That's like a problem the Romans had, you know?
Tommy
Very true.
Shane
Imagining the visual of, like, waiting in line for Santa.
Ian
Oh, no.
Shane
You'Re just in the spiral.
Ian
Yeah, that's fine.
Tommy
Yeah.
Shane
Oh, it's awful. I am so sorry, Op. Yeah, there's nothing to say to that.
Tommy
Or there isn't.
Shane
Sometimes we read stories and we're just.
Tommy
Like, damn.
Ian
I'm sorry to. Well, aside from the men in this story, I'm sorry to everyone involved in this.
Shane
It makes me. This all just makes me feel bad.
Ian
Yeah.
Tommy
Yes.
Shane
Yep.
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Shane
Today's episode of Reddit stories is also brought to you by Mint Mobile. If you're still overpaying for wireless, it's time to say yes to saying no. At Mint Mobile, their favorite word is no. No contracts. No monthly bills. No overages. No hidden fees. No bs. Here's why Smosh said yes to making the switch and getting Premium Wireless for 15 bucks a month. With all of the people and projects that come through our office, we need a reliable network with unlimited talk and text. Our old provider lacked the service we needed to operate. It was slow and unreliable. Once we made the switch to Mint Mobile, not only were we saving, but we were being delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. When we traveled to Montreal and Canada for our Smosh Reads Reddit Stories live show, our production phone was able to work great and get all of the background footage that we needed. It worked seamlessly thanks to Mint Mobile. Ready to say yes to saying no? Make the switch@mintmobile.com PitReddit that's mintmobile.com PitReddit Upfront payment of $45 required equivalent to $15 a month Limited time new customer offer for first three months only. Speeds may slow above 35 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Taxes and fees extra. See Mint Mobile for details. Back to the show. Our next story I got fired from Walmart and never worked there.
Tommy
That's cool. What does that mean?
Shane
So this comes from a subreddit that I've checked out before called I don't work here lady. Awesome. This happens a lot where people assume people work somewhere.
Ian
Yeah, you go to Target in a red shirt.
Tommy
Yep.
Shane
Yeah. And so people just fuck with people in those situations. About a year ago, I worked selling solar panel systems. This job required me to wear khakis and a blue polo when I was meeting customers. One particular day after meeting with a homeowner, I had to stop by my local Walmart and to get more pens and a notepad for my work bag. I pretty consistently got asked if I worked there by other customers and I would help if I knew what they were after. But I always told them that I didn't work there and they were always kind. So this fateful day, I grabbed my pens and paper and checked out in the self checkout section. As I was leaving, I heard someone say behind me, and just where do you think you're going? Now a little about me I try to mind my own business as much as possible and don't like to get wrapped up in other people's drama. When I hear outbursts like that in public, I assume it's not because of me. I also try to follow the rules as much as possible. In this case, I assumed it wasn't me because I paid for everything. So I continued to my car. Roughly 30ft from my car, I hear again, hey you stop. I do turn around at that one because that's typically what you say to a thief. An employee who can only be described as a Karen is marching towards me eight different kinds of pissed off. She starts reaming into me about how I'm abandoning my shift and. And I'm not supposed to get off for another three hours. I'm standing there bewildered because I genuinely have no clue what she's talking about. I try to let her know I don't work there, but she won't let me get a word in. Eventually she says, forget it. You're fired. I waited about five seconds and told her I don't work here. I've never worked here. She stared at me and muttered sorry and ran back inside.
Tommy
That's awesome. That's awesome.
Ian
I didn't think she'd actually apologize. I love that.
Shane
I'm still not sure, but that's my tale of being fired from a job I never worked at. Hope it brought you some joy.
Tommy
That's so incredible.
Ian
I love that she apologized.
Tommy
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Ian
It's like, have you seen, like the Watch People Die Inside subreddit?
Shane
Oh, yeah. Watch People Die inside. It's great.
Ian
I feel like that's like, definitely one.
Shane
Of those moments very much. Do you think if you ended up in that situation, I think all of us know we'd probably be similar. Yeah, right. None of us would be the types that would. I think I could see Arasha playing into it.
Tommy
Oh, Chigoshi just would be like, no. Really? You're firing me?
Shane
But I.
Tommy
But I need this job.
Shane
No, I'll show up tomorrow and I'll.
Tommy
Can I get my last paycheck at least?
Ian
Yeah.
Tommy
Think about that. In cash.
Shane
You're firing me? Then I demand severance.
Tommy
There you go on Apple tv.
Shane
See what you get. Sweet deal.
Ian
Can you collect unemployment if you get fired from a job that you never worked?
Shane
Gotta show proof. Probably. Comments? I kind of wish oop went back and asked for severance and the unemployment documentation. That would have been hilarious.
Ian
Hello?
Shane
Someone said if she had the powers to fire someone even if they don't work there, that means she's some kind of supervisor or manager. How shitty of a manager are you that you don't even know who your employees are, you'd think she'd at least know their faces, if not their fucking names. Someone said, I worked at Walmart for two weeks until I found a better job. Managers didn't know who many of their employees were due to high turnover.
Ian
Yeah, I believe.
Shane
I think when I got hired, there were 40 new employees. When I left about two weeks later. Another 30 to 40 were hired and on the floor. Unless someone was there long term, they had no idea who worked there.
Ian
Yeah.
Shane
Whoa.
Ian
Yeah, I believe that. I figured that's probably why she chased after him. Cause, like, the turnover at Walmart must be nuts. And it's a big building.
Shane
Yeah. I thought I heard once that Amazon's turnover was so insane that they're like running out of people.
Ian
I believe that they're like.
Tommy
Like they're running out of new people.
Shane
There's nobody to hire because we have run through everyone caught.
Tommy
Hopefully that teaches them a lesson on workplace safety stuff.
Shane
Yeah, it won't.
Tommy
No, of course not.
Shane
No, it won't, dummy.
Ian
Simply won't.
Shane
5 million people won Amazon.
Ian
Jesus Christ. You know your husband worked at Amazon.
Shane
You know your husband worked at Amazon.
Ian
With all these people. There's a ring doorbell photo of him delivering a box.
Shane
So that's where that is. Yeah, funny. Wait, update.
Ian
What?
Shane
Three years later.
Ian
Stop it.
Shane
What do we think happened?
Ian
I think he's her boss now at Walmart. I think he, in spite, he got a job. He got a job at Walmart at a different Walmart, became a regional manager, transferred. Transferred. And then fired her ass.
Shane
Fired her. Mm, that's pretty good.
Tommy
I'm thinking they ran into each other and now they're married.
Shane
That'd be cool.
Tommy
He married a. Karen.
Shane
Wait.
Tommy
Stop Walmart. Karen, I love you. You.
Ian
Stop. Thief.
Tommy
You have violated the law of my heart.
Ian
Sorry, it's oblivion.
Tommy
Sorry.
Shane
This first sentence. I've been banned from that Walmart.
Ian
What?
Shane
The manager in that story apparently has a memory like an elephant. Kind of looks like one too. That's what. Boom, boom, boom. That could mean so many things.
Ian
Right? She's got a huge nose that goes all the way down. She drinks water through it.
Shane
Like, elephant is such a. That's such a descriptor look. Kind of looks like one too, and is still working there. Today I went in to pick up a couple things and return one thing for my wife. I'm waiting in the return line and the person in front of me is having some issue with the return. So the employee helping them calls for a manager. It's the same lady. Recognized her immediately. And as it turns out, she recognized me, kind of. She points at me and tells me I'm not allowed to shop at this Walmart and if I don't leave, she'll call the police. I asked why I was banned, she said she didn't remember, but she knew I was, so I left. My wife and I have been cackling over this for a couple days and thought you'd find it funny as hell.
Tommy
So this person's just making decisions based.
Shane
On nothing out of their mind.
Tommy
Right?
Shane
Typical manager behavior.
Ian
Hey, yeah. This is definitely striking me as somebody that's just like power trips.
Shane
Oh yeah, 100%.
Ian
And probably explains why they're still probably working the same like position at the Walmart and they haven't gone up.
Tommy
I bet the turnover is partially because of her.
Ian
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Probably, yeah.
Shane
Comments? Contact Walmart corporate and inform them that she is harassing you and banned you because she was embarrassed for harassing a customer. He shows up to Walmart corporate in a suit and they're like, yeah, okay, so come on in. You have a meeting.
Tommy
Yeah, we're at the board. You come and sit at the board.
Shane
He's like, I don't have anything prepared. And they're like, you're fucking fired, dude.
Tommy
I like that. That comment was basically, can you out Karen? The Karen? Yeah, can you go to corporate?
Shane
Someone said, hello, former loss prevention for Walmart here. If they didn't give you paperwork saying you are banned, you are not banned. Walmart can't ban you just by saying you are banned. There is a process that must be followed. Cops must be involved in order for them to legally ban you. Per Walmart loss prevention rules, most of the time, only people who have been caught stealing get banned. I suggest calling corporate and asking for the market asset protection manager complain about this. Manager.
Ian
Wow, okay, yeah, but you can, you can refuse, you can refuse service to anybody in a private business. Right?
Shane
It's just that she said you've been, she said the term you've been banned. Right, right.
Ian
But if she just said like, get out of here, get out of here. Like I think. Right, yeah.
Shane
Someone said, I've been banned from Walmart for smoking and drinking in the parking lot years ago. I still regularly shop there. Update number two, that's crazy. Two years later after that, so five years later, short version, to catch people up, I was fired from a Walmart that I didn't work at by a power tripping manager because I apparently looked like someone who worked there. The final update is that recently my family moved to a new neighborhood around the corner from the Walmart. After meeting the new neighbors, I found out one worked at this Walmart. I told her the story because I still think it's hilarious. And she let me know that that manager, let's call her Gertrude, was arrested and fired. Old Gertie apparently had a history of arbitrarily banning people, like she did to me, but nobody really ever complained, so nothing ever got done. She was just shifted from department to department. One day last year she got a little too aggressive with an off duty cop. The cop tried to forcefully remove her from the store, which inevitably led to Gertrude punching the cop. She was arrested and finally fired. My neighbor and most of her co workers have rejoiced. Karma can be a beautiful thing. Once again, when it comes to karma being brought up, this wasn't karma. It was. She was doing shit and finally had consequences for her.
Tommy
This is fuck around, find out.
Ian
Yeah, right, yeah, she, she entered the find out phase. Yeah, she found out.
Shane
Absolutely. Well, that's. If that's karma to people, then that's karma. But you punch a cop, you'll get arrested properly.
Ian
Yeah, you've like, yeah, you've, you've paired somebody that's probably power tripping against somebody else.
Shane
She met her match.
Ian
Yeah, right, The Karen final boss.
Shane
Yeah. Oh God.
Tommy
I mean that was a pretty good update.
Ian
Yeah, I like that. I feel satisfied.
Tommy
I feel good, like ate a snack.
Shane
Yeah, she's very funny as a fictional character.
Tommy
Absolutely.
Shane
Just banning people, that's so funny.
Ian
You're banned.
Shane
You're banned. I'm sorry, you're banned.
Ian
And the fact that everyone was just like, oh, I guess she banned another person. I don't know.
Shane
Everyone just went on the premise of like, yeah, she can do that.
Tommy
I guess she can do that.
Shane
Yeah, she's the manager, she can ban me.
Ian
She got arrested.
Shane
She got arrested and fired.
Ian
Punched the cops. So. Yeah, yeah.
Shane
And she did it inside the Walmart. It's like you're gonna, you know, sorry, Gertie.
Ian
Yeah, you gotta learn to take it outside.
Shane
Yeah.
Ian
Then it's not illegal.
Shane
Right? They say that. They say that our next story comes from the subreddit relationships. And this was posted 10 years ago.
Tommy
Wow. The original post, our oldest Reddit story I claim.
Shane
I think 2015's about as old as we've gone, but Reddit's been around since like 2006, so there's some old shit on there. Me, 24 year old woman with my. So 27 year old man of one year. He destroyed a sentimental item of mine and sees nothing wrong with it because of the circumstances. Me, 24 year old female, so 27 male, let's call him Eugene. My sister, female, deceased two years, let's call her Carrie. Oh, I just got sad background about my sister. Two years ago, my sister was killed In a car accident, she was riding with a friend to the mall. The friend's parent was driving and a teenage boy plowed through a red light while texting on his phone and hit the car with my sister. Kerry was in. Carrie was killed instantly and her friend June was in a coma for three weeks before her parents took her off life support. When Carrie passed, I was devastated and angry and just not in a good place. Kerry and I had been extremely close despite a seven year age gap between us. We enjoyed a lot of the same shows and we went to concerts together, we volunteered together and I took it upon myself to guide Carrie like any big sister would do. Our parents were extremely busy with work most days and Carrie and I would often cook together and do crafts when we weren't too busy with schoolwork. Carrie wanted to be a NICU nurse when she grew up and I helped her find a volunteer position at a local hospital to help her gain some experience being around patients. In short, Kerry was my sister and best friend and when she passed, I was a mess. The last craft Carrie and I made together was a set of candles and we both bought the wax at a local craft store and we both made each other a candle and decorated the jar it was in. That was the day before she was killed. At her funeral, Carrie was buried with the candle I made her. The candle Carrie made me sits on my desk next to my favorite picture of her and I together at the beach. Or it did until last week. Background about my Boyfriend I met my boyfriend about a year and a half ago. About six months after Carrie passed. I wasn't looking for a relationship. I was still grieving my sister's death. But Eugene came along and it was love at first sight. He was extremely supportive, let me cry on him when I needed to. Didn't push me into getting over grieving or anything. He was extremely gentlemanly about everything and very, very patient. After six months of seeing each other pretty regularly, we made it official. Eugene came into my life at a very low point and he has always been very respectful of sentiments I keep from my sister. Never asking me to take them down, always giving me space when I needed to cry. Eugene, along with most, if not all of my friends and family, know about Carrie's candle. There was a point after she died where I would take the candle with me everywhere out of fear that someone might light it or steal it or who knows what. The point is, that candle was and still is a very important part of my life and something that my sister made for me. And me alone. When Eugene and I moved in together about four months ago, I packed away most of the reminders of my sister and put out the candle and picture on my desk. I felt that this was a huge step because when I'd lived just by myself, I had pictures everywhere and a few knickknacks laying around from my sister. I wanted to make Eugene and I's home our home with just a small part of my sister there. Eugene understood and was very supportive. The issue Last week we had a massive winter storm that knocked out power. We didn't have power for three plus days. The power was knocked out at Eugene and I's house while I was at work, which did not lose power. Eugene texted me that he was going to light some candles and try to get a generator so we could have some power or at least be able to charge our phone, use lights slash et cetera. Now we probably have 30 plus candles in our house. I am a huge fan of sales and when Bath and Body Works has a candle sale I like to stock up and get a range of scents. We have candles scattered all over our house.
Ian
This is a 10 year old story. Yeah, Bath and Body Works.
Shane
Yeah, I know it's still around. In the room where my desk is, there are no candles aside from the one Carrie made me, none at all. And there never has been. This room is also downstairs where Eugene doesn't spend a lot of time. His desk is upstairs. When I arrived home from work last week, I noticed a bunch of candles burning in our living room, safely, always monitored and not near anything that could ignite. One of these candles was the candle that Carrie had made me. I burst into tears and when Eugene heard me crying he came out from the bedroom where he was lighting more candles and asked what was wrong. I was a wreck and couldn't get any words out. When he tried to calm me down, I shoved past him and locked myself in the room where my desk was and just cried. I don't know how he could be so stupid. I thought he understood how sentimental the candle was and how much I cherished having a candle that my now deceased sister had spent time making with me just a day before she was killed. I haven't been able to speak to Eugene since it happened Tuesday of last week. He has tried to explain why he did it because he needed candles to be able to see, but I just can't wrap my head around it. He hadn't gotten to the large candle stash I have upstairs right by the living room, but went downstairs out of the way to grab the most sentimental, cherished item I have. The candle was burning most of the day while I was at work and is now melted and pretty much gone. I do still have the jar it was in, but I can't look at it without bursting into tears. Reddit what do I do? Eugene says it was an accident, but I just don't believe that. He said he was getting around to lighting the candle surplus we have upstairs but just hadn't gotten there yet. After being home six hours alone with no power, I am heartbroken and feel like this is a major slap in the face. I feel disrespected. I feel like he disrespected my sister. I just don't know what to do. I just don't feel like I can forgive him for this. Can or should I try to work past this.
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Shane
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Tommy
Tariffs because their clothing products Never left.
Shane
The U.S. get 20% off your first order when you use promo code STAPLE20@american-giant.com Ooh, wow.
Tommy
That's sad.
Ian
That's so sad. I yeah, this episode is a frigging roller coaster.
Shane
I know. Updates always have a lot. I understand that she may not be able to get past that and I understand, oh, we can all be forgetful and stuff. It's like, that's a pretty intense one.
Tommy
And it seems like that was her big one. That was her big single thing.
Shane
That's not like oh my mom got me a candle for my birthday. It's like, oh, I lit that. It's like, oh my mom got that for my birthday. It's like, oh sorry, I didn't realize it was that important to you.
Ian
I Would bet money that he completely forgot the significance of that candle.
Tommy
Oh, of course. Otherwise he wouldn't have done that.
Ian
And that he just thought it was like a memorial candle. Exactly. To be next to the photo. Not that I'm, like, defending him. No, no, no.
Tommy
It's like he's either the devil, pure evil, or he's a dumbass and didn't register that. This is very sentimental.
Shane
Yeah, but they've been together for years and they're moving in together. Exactly. And it's like he's heard this story.
Ian
Maybe in the beginning, but I'm not.
Shane
That's a story that if you've forgotten, like, oof. Like, this is your person you're moving in with. Like, damn. Like, there's a. I give people a pass on forgetting things all the time. Right. Like, we're all forgetful. But this one, I mean, holy shit. Yeah. Anything to do with grief, like, it's like, you gotta take that so seriously.
Ian
Yeah.
Shane
And if he truly did forget, I mean, man, you gotta be so apologetic. You are gonna have to pull out all the stops to show her that this was an accident. You cannot play this off.
Ian
Yeah. Instead, he diminished it.
Shane
He totally just. Yeah, he.
Ian
He just said I needed candles to see.
Shane
Yeah. It's like, okay. It sounded like they have a bajillion.
Tommy
It sounds like you can't walk in this house without tripping over a candle.
Ian
Yeah.
Shane
They don't live in a cave. Yeah. So she said, like, they have a candle stash.
Tommy
Yeah.
Shane
It's like they're cheating.
Ian
Walked in with candles lit, and he came from the other room having just lit other candles. I'm like, how many candles have to be in the room?
Shane
So she's saying, like, we're doing it safely. It's like, well, you have candles in different rooms. You need to be in the room with the candle. I think, like, you need to be.
Tommy
Usually.
Shane
Usually, yeah.
Tommy
You'd do that?
Shane
For the most part. Comments? I would say this is an accident, except he clearly grabbed a bunch of candles and Carrie's candle as well. He knew it had significance to you. Geesh, I don't know. This is a weird one. I'm a very forgetful guy myself, I'll admit. But if you had told me all of this history about the candle, there is not any way you should forget that candle. As a boyfriend or so or whatever, it pissed me off reading this. I forgot babe. He would have got a slap to his face and I would have walked out. If you can't trust him with Something that simple and yet so important to you. What does that say about his future actions and being responsible for them? There should be heavy repercussions. Stay with your parents till the new candle is done. Show him how unacceptable this is. Someone said, this may be the wrong idea and it may not help, but as a sentimental crafter, I have a thought First, I am so sorry about the candle. From what you said about your boyfriend, I think he just wasn't thinking. It might not even have occurred to him to remember that candles are consumable and the wax would melt completely, completely away. Okay, onto the next step. Maybe a stupid idea. It's so, so clear that you're still grieving over the loss of your sister. You still have the jar on her birthday or the anniversary of her death. If that feels right. Make a new candle in the jar. Pick her favorite color or something. When you make the candle, pour in all of your love for her along with the wax. Think of it now as something you made together. She made the vessel, you made the love. Just a thought. Maybe cheese and stupid, but maybe not. Someone lastly said, has he apologized sincerely or just blown it off? The magnitude of his remorse should be your guide in how to take this. If he was just an absent minded dolt, yeah, mistake. But a more deliberate action would have him showing little to no remorse. Op said he actually has not apologized, but instead tried to defend his actions by saying he needed the candle for light and then moved on to saying it was an accident. But thinking back, I don't think he's apologized for it at all. That's your answer? Oh, there you go. That's your answer, man. Like, I don't.
Tommy
If he's not apologizing, then it's.
Ian
I think he's embarrassed.
Tommy
Yeah, I mean, sure, sure. I think that comment of like filling up the. Like, if you melt down the remaining wax and combine it with new wax and then pour it into the candle, that'd be a way to like, at.
Ian
Least that's an interesting way to like.
Tommy
Honor to, you know, rejuvenate that item.
Shane
Of course. It is so sad though, because I'm sure there was a part of her that thought like, she will light that candle someday. Of course she would be the one to do it. And now that's just gone and it's gone from this stupid situation. But these types of things happen all the time. And I do think that type of comment is important, though. I think the ritual of things is really important.
Tommy
Absolutely.
Shane
And I do think she needs to do something to fix this for herself, for one. To bring it back for herself, and then also to help her move on.
Ian
Cause every time she sees that candle now, she's gonna be reminded of this. Like, she's gonna resent her significant other.
Tommy
The fact that he can't apologize is just so.
Shane
No, this sounds like if I'm a friend of hers, I'm gonna be like, this sounds like that guy sucks. This is broken. Like, that's. I don't know how you get past that.
Ian
Yeah, right?
Tommy
Jeez. Okay.
Ian
All right.
Shane
Update from 20 days later.
Ian
20 days later. Good movie.
Tommy
Good movie.
Shane
Do you think they're gonna stay together? Think they're gonna break up?
Tommy
I would hope they break up.
Shane
I do too.
Tommy
Fingies crossed.
Shane
Yeah. My original post was the day before Thanksgiving. Eugene and I had planned to spend Thanksgiving with my parents, but that did not end up happening. On my way home from work, I stopped at a local craft store to pick up supplies to make a new memorial candle for Carrie. Thank you to the user for that amazing, heartfelt suggestion. My parents and I spent a day remembering Carrie and making a new candle using some of the wax from the original candle. I also ended up purchasing a locket and having some of the remaining wax from the candle put inside and the locket welded shut by a friend. On the evening of my post, I got home and Eugene said he wanted to talk. I agreed we needed to clear the air before Thanksgiving, so we sat in the living room and started to talk. I was not ready for what he told me. A few commenters from my original post seemed to hit the nail on the head in a way. Eugene told me that when we first met, he was extremely turned on by the fact that I was essentially a damsel in distress. Bro.
Ian
No. Oh, he wedding crashered her.
Shane
I just lost my sister recently. I was in a massive depression. I wasn't myself. And that turned him on, both sexually and in a protective way.
Ian
Oh, no.
Narrator/Ad Voice
God.
Tommy
I just need men to do something like. Like anything better.
Shane
God, yeah. Over the past few months, I've started to become more myself. I got promoted at my job. I've joined a cooking class and have gotten out more. And I've definitely moved away from being a damsel in distress in the eyes of. He went on to explain that he burned the candle in hopes that it would throw me back into that phase, because that is the only time he felt he was attracted to me. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Ian
All right. No.
Tommy
No.
Ian
Eugene.
Shane
No.
Ian
This is Eugene now, so he is pure evil. He is actually just all right.
Shane
This is all all right. Permission to kill.
Ian
I guess we should always consider that, like, like men, men be horny, you know, and that any and any motivation to do anything could be horny. Horny. Unfortunately, this is one of those cases. Oh, my God.
Shane
I, I, I was sitting there and I was like, there's, there's the chance he did it on purpose. And I was like, there's no fucking way. What is no way he did it on purpose? What was gonna happen?
Tommy
She'd, like, just restart and be like, oh, please have sex with me, man.
Ian
God. Crazy.
Shane
That's right. He is not attracted to me unless I'm upset, crying, and a damsel in distress. When I prodded for more information, he told me that everyone prior to me that he had dated had either just experienced a loss or was in need of rescuing. Eugene told me he was no longer attracted to me. He dreaded having sex with me because he could no longer be the hero that was rescuing me, which is what turned him on in the first place.
Ian
Brother, that is what role play is for, you dumb fucking idiot. Oh, my God.
Tommy
Rent a castle. Jesus.
Shane
He didn't like to go out in public with me because I had started to put myself together more like, not just wearing a T shirt and jeans like I did when depressed. And that attracted the stares of other men that he saw as a threat, taking away his damsel in distress. Eugene had a whole laundry list of things he hated doing now because I wasn't in a funk anymore. I told him if that was the case, then we needed to break up. He agreed and said he would go stay with a friend until he could make new living arrangements. My name is the only one on our house, and I told him I would give him 60 days to vacate the house, which he agreed was fair. Over the past few weeks, I've spent a lot of time with my parents and with close friends. I don't really feel like I've been dumped or broke up with someone. I just feel like me. Carrie's candle sits on my desk where the original was, and I wear the locket every day. Thank you, Reddit, for listening. I appreciate it more than you know. Oh, geez.
Tommy
Wow, wow, wow.
Ian
I just think, like, it's so wild because, like, obviously this guy has, like, a fetish. And, like, you could, you could, like, you could fulfill those consensually, like, in the bedroom with, like, something like role play. Like, you don't have to try to, like, manipulate your partner to get her into A state to, like, turn you. Like, that's like.
Tommy
And he admitted that. That's like, he preys on these people who are either grieving or going through shit.
Ian
Yeah. Cause he's too. He's too cowardly to try to find another way to get his rocks off. That's crazy.
Shane
It's wild when we read about people doing things that. It sounds fictional. I believe this story, though, because I know these types of people are real. And it's just like, man, you watch a movie sometimes and you're like, oh, well, the villain wasn't believable.
Tommy
Right.
Shane
Because they were just evil.
Tommy
And then you sit on screen and then see this.
Shane
And this guy was evil because he was horny. Like, that's. That's the thing.
Tommy
That's all it took.
Ian
Many such cases.
Shane
Like, truly, he's just like, oh, I'm turned on by your despair. I'm like, that sounds like, horrible. That doesn't sound like a real guy, but it is.
Ian
Yeah.
Shane
Jesus.
Tommy
What I loved about that last thing is that she was like, I don't feel like I've been dumped. I don't feel like this. I feel like me.
Shane
Yes.
Tommy
And I'm like, that's beautiful.
Ian
Thank God.
Shane
I am happy that she is.
Tommy
She has found something getting out of this. Yes.
Ian
Well, I think he wanted to get out too. Cause I kinda hate that he wasn't feeling it anymore.
Shane
I truly. This is a situation where I'm like, I hope karma finds this man.
Tommy
This is where karma will.
Shane
I'm like, death, do your thing. Find him. Him admitting all this shit to her. Like, oh, I only date grieving people. I'm like, you're giving a villain speech to her.
Ian
It's just one of those things. He hasn't done the internal work, and he's just working the only way that he thinks he can. Not that I'm giving any like, no.
Tommy
That's just the explanation of why he's acting that way.
Ian
And it's bad. And it's like, we can all see it. And it's like, oi, oi, oi.
Shane
All right, let's move on from that. Move on to our final story, which should hopefully be a bit of a palate cleanser.
Tommy
We'll see.
Shane
We'll see.
Ian
This is a crazy episode. This is a crazy one.
Tommy
It really is.
Shane
Do I tell my wife the truth after 11 years?
Tommy
All right, looks like we're in for another doozy.
Ian
Hold on. He could be Santa.
Shane
I'm the Easter bunny.
Ian
I killed JFK.
Shane
Killed JFK.
Ian
11 years ago, when we first started.
Shane
Dating, my girlfriend asked me what my favorite meal was so she could cook it for me for our one month anniversary. We were 16 and I told her my favorite meal was chicken parmesan. She cooked it for me from scratch and it was delicious. However, I realized that what I meant to say was chicken Alfredo. I felt bad that she went out of her way to cook what she thought was my favorite meal. So I didn't correct her or myself. Fast forward to now. We've been together for 11 years, married for two years, and once a month or so she still makes chicken parm for me because she thinks it's my favorite. It's good, but it's really just not my favorite. At this point, it's way too late to tell her the truth. Right? You don't have.
Ian
Okay, I have a solution. I have a solution. He's like, hey, babe, have you ever had chicken Alfredo before? And then he has it. He's like, oh my God. It's like, this is my new favorite film.
Tommy
It's your new favorite thing.
Shane
Oh my God, I love this so much.
Tommy
I also feel like this is something that isn't too intense of a thing to where, depending on the couple and the right person, this could now become the coolest, funniest bit for them to share. It could, like, you know, oh, the parmesan. Let's have a parm.
Shane
It could. Unless it doesn't.
Tommy
Unless it doesn't.
Shane
He's like, actually, I meant to say chicken Alfredo. And she's like, get out of here.
Tommy
Okay, go, go.
Ian
Her ex was named Alfredo.
Shane
She just slams the butcher knife into the cutting board. Chicken Alfredo. What if? She's like, I know, I've known this.
Tommy
I've always known.
Ian
Oh, chicken Alfredo would be easier to make too, because you don't have to.
Shane
Like, ooh, yeah, she's been making. She's been breading that chicken all this.
Ian
Time that involves an oven.
Shane
Chicken parm is delicious though. I don't know what he's talking about. Chicken parm's amazing.
Tommy
Yeah, well, I mean, he's still eating it.
Ian
He's still eating it.
Shane
He's still eating it. He's still eating it. Comments? I have been with my husband for almost 25 years, and it would make my week to find out he had been covering up his Alfredo goo for this long. At this stage of our relationship, finding something new about each other to laugh about is gold. Like, I learned something new about a story from his childhood. His family always tells. And I was Thrilled. Someone said, yes, it's too late. And the fact that your wife still does this for you after all these years means chicken parm should absolutely be your favorite dish. That shit is made with love, man. The purest and best form of love. Do you realize how lucky you are? Someone said, ask her to make chicken Alfredo and hype it up so much and say, I might be reaching, but this might be my new favorite. How did you manage to do that and just talk about it so much? And then when she asks what you want for a special dinner, pretend to be stuck between the two. Scratch your head and sigh and say, you know, I really think I want chicken Alfredo. Last time you made it, it was so good. I've been craving it ever since.
Tommy
Smart.
Shane
Or you could tell the truth.
Ian
We don't tell the truth in Reddit stuff.
Shane
We're all about lying. No, no, no update.
Tommy
Okay.
Shane
10 days later.
Ian
Oh.
Shane
What do you think happened?
Tommy
I think he told her.
Shane
I think she's cheating on him.
Tommy
Right.
Shane
She's having an affair.
Ian
She was in the Bonnie Blue video.
Tommy
Aw.
Ian
She was the fluffer. Oh, sorry.
Shane
I'm glad my travesty brought so many of you joy. I apologize for taking so long to update you all, but I was vexed with a life altering decision and needed to weigh the responses I received. I ultimately decided to tell my wife the truth. I'm not sure I made the right decision after all, because I am far more embarrassed now than I ever was over this. I have never seen my wife laugh the way she did that night. Just when I thought she was done laughing, she would start up all over again.
Tommy
Yep.
Shane
We now have this incredible inside joke for the rest of our lives together. Huge thank you to everyone who commented their advice.
Tommy
I told you. Depending on the couple, it could be an incredible bit.
Shane
I feel like communication always just results in a stronger bond.
Ian
Absolutely. You should make up a lie to Courtney and then reveal it 10 years later.
Shane
I never drowned. Oh.
Ian
No, I did that shit.
Tommy
Yeah, I did that shit.
Ian
No, I did.
Shane
I did.
Ian
And you did it well.
Shane
Yeah.
Ian
Yeah. You really succeeded with that.
Shane
I feel like. Yeah, Courtney and I have plenty of. I mean, we have. Our wedding is kind of a funny bit for. What if.
Ian
What if Courtney's like, I don't like ramen?
Shane
That'd be crazy.
Tommy
That'd be crazy.
Ian
Cause she's the one that makes it. Yeah.
Shane
I don't think Courtney can fake anything when it comes to food.
Tommy
Okay.
Shane
When she does not like something, everybody in the room knows.
Ian
Yeah.
Shane
She'll drink something she doesn't like, she'll be like, ah, ah, ah. Yeah, she cannot hide stuff well, unless we're playing werewolf. And then suddenly she turns into a different person.
Tommy
Exactly.
Shane
I don't get it.
Tommy
Wow. I thank God for this last story being fun and light.
Shane
Yeah, there we go.
Tommy
I love a happy ending.
Shane
We end on chicken parm.
Tommy
Chicken parm. We always end on chicken parm. Here.
Ian
Kind of want chicken parm now.
Shane
Hey, breadsticks for the whole family?
Ian
Yeah.
Tommy
Aw, breadsticks. Are they coming in?
Shane
In a little bit. Wow. Well, thank you both for this wild ride.
Tommy
Hey, thanks for driving.
Ian
I feel like I said this last time I was on Reddit stories, I was like, this is one of the. I feel like this is one of the craziest stories. And I feel like this one, I'm like, this is one of the craziest set of stories.
Shane
Yeah, this was wild.
Ian
How do you guys keep finding them?
Shane
They don't stop. It always blows my mind when you find old ones that we've never seen. I'm like, damn. Holy shit. Thank you both for joining me.
Tommy
Thanks for having us.
Shane
Thank you for watching. And we'll see you next Saturday for more stories. Goodbye.
Tommy
Goodbye. James, I need that $10,000 right now.
Shane
James.
Ian
Give him $10,000.
Shane
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Date: September 27, 2025
Host: Shane Topp, with guests Ian and Tommy
Theme: Reddit Stories With Jaw-Dropping Updates
This episode of Smosh Reads Reddit Stories is themed around spectacular Reddit updates—stories that shocked, delighted, or horrified both readers and the cast. Shane is joined by Smosh colleagues Ian and Tommy for an especially wild ride through four bombshell stories, each featuring a notable (and, at times, infamous) follow-up from the original poster. Expect hilarious banter, genuine empathy, and the classic Smosh blend of shock and silliness as they react to tales of scams, cheating scandals, workplace disasters, and surprisingly wholesome confessions.
"AITA for telling my coworker she’s falling for a romance scam?"
[03:00 - 13:46]
"AITA for telling my heavily pregnant friend her fiancé was in a documentary?"
[16:40 - 33:43]
"I got fired from Walmart and never worked there."
[36:41 - 46:41]
"He burned my deceased sister’s candle (update: not what you think!)"
[46:41 - 65:04]
"Do I tell my wife the truth after 11 years?"
[65:09 - 70:19]
This episode is a shining example of why Smosh Reads Reddit Stories is a favorite: the mix of wild, jaw-dropping human drama and comedic, heartfelt commentary. Whether you’re here for the catharsis (“Godzilla of cheating”), the schadenfreude (Walmart bans), or the wholesomeness (Chicken Parm Love Story), Shane, Ian, and Tommy deliver both laughs and empathy.
Tune in next Saturday for more stories that surprise, confound, and maybe even restore your faith in humanity—one Reddit update at a time.