
Loading summary
Shane
Neighbor game.
Courtney
Oo.
Doug
And Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual. Even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show.
Shane
Hey, everyone, check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first date? Oh, no.
Doug
We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.
Shane
Yeah, the bird looks out of your league.
Doug
Anyways, get a'@libertymutual.com or with your local agent.
Shane
Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.
Trevor
Yes you can. A five minute quick and easy calorie burning workout. Give it a try. Come join our sweat sesh on TikTok.
Shane
Hello and welcome to sm.
Courtney
Oh my God.
Trevor
Oh, that was awesome.
Courtney
Is that a red flag?
Trevor
That was really good.
Shane
Hello and welcome to Smosh Reads Reddit Stories. I'm Shane, and today we are doing Red Flags. That's right. And I'm joined by two. No, I'm joined by one red flag and one green flag. Who is who? Who is who? Trevor and Courtney.
Courtney
Red what? What did you call me?
Shane
Red flag.
Courtney
I thought you said something else.
Shane
Don't, Shane.
Trevor
White boy. You can't say that.
Shane
You can't say that.
Trevor
White baby.
Shane
We have red flags. We have red standing by. And he, like, flies it.
Courtney
Sorry. So sorry.
Shane
Hi. How's it going?
Trevor
Good.
Courtney
I'm ready to read.
Shane
Well, you're not reading. I'm reading.
Courtney
Well, I'm ready to read Opel.
Trevor
I'm ready to practice my active listening skills.
Shane
I, I think the Red Flag episodes are sometimes some of my favorites.
Courtney
And I think it's just a funny energy in the office, in the studio today because we've been like, working from home a lot and moving the studio. So, like, it's just I forgot how to person a little bit.
Shane
I, I, I have two. Yeah, like, I was reading a book the other night. I was like, oh, I really need to read because, like, I'm not reading Reddit stories. So, like, when I, what if, when we film the next episode, I forgot how to read?
Courtney
He forgot how to read.
Trevor
Bro goes a couple weeks without Reddit stories.
Shane
You get into a flow with reading. When you don't read for a while, you start reading. I'm like, I read really slow when I haven't read for a while and
Courtney
I gotta like, you reading really slow out loud is crazy.
Shane
My boyfriend. Imagine if that was how it was. All right, so we're gonna read stories, they're gonna have possible red flags, maybe some green flags and you guys have red flags and green flags that you can hold up when you feel the signs. What if I don't want to? You don't have to. Cool. You can do whatever you want. Technically, green flag.
Courtney
He's letting you do what you want.
Trevor
Green flag.
Shane
Yeah. All right, we're gonna hop into it.
Trevor
All right, reader boy.
Shane
Whoa.
Trevor
Let's see it.
Courtney
There's readers and breeders.
Trevor
Which one are you?
Shane
And I've got a lot of books. Okay, here we go. Our first Red Flag story. This comes from Relationship advice. It was posted in July of 2024. This is a 24 year old woman writing she goes. My boyfriend, who's 25, told me that snacking on mozzarella cheese balls might be a deal breaker. What should I do?
Courtney
Huh?
Trevor
I'm going to do it. I'm going to do an early flag raise here.
Shane
Yeah, yeah. Snacking on mozzarella cheese balls. Gross.
Trevor
No, no, the red flag is that he's telling.
Shane
Right? Look, I can get down with a
Trevor
little mozzarella cheese ball, but please continue.
Courtney
Yeah, we're at half mast.
Shane
We'll see. Any sort of. We'll see. I know, I know we're in silly territory still, but.
Trevor
Red flags.
Courtney
All right, we must hear this throwaway
Shane
account because my boyfriend knows my personal Reddit account. Red flag. Hey, Reddit. So I'm in a very weird situation and I don't know how to proceed. I'm hoping to get some insight from people who don't know us personally because this is really embarrassing for me. So to preface, I'm a cheese lover. I absolutely adore cheese and it's my favorite snack. My number one cheese has got to be mozzarella, specifically ball shaped mozzarella. The texture and flavor are so good, especially with a little salt sprinkled. I buy those Belgioso packs of mozzarella balls and they have been my snack of choice since I was a freshman in college. They were easy and convenient to keep in my for a quick, cheap and easy bite. My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years now and we recently moved in together. He's known about my love for cheese since our first date. He took me to a restaurant and we ordered like three charcuterie boards. Lol.
Courtney
Slay.
Shane
I don't think he knew what he was getting into with my snacking and he probably didn't expect to see me eat mozzarella balls on the daily. I thought he was fine with it, but now he's making an issue out of it and I don't Know if I should stop? His specific issue is the shape.
Trevor
His.
Shane
His spec. His specific issue is the shape of the cheese. Wait, sorry, I was thinking a million other things before the shape of the cheese being the issue. He tells me that seeing me eat, you know, ball shaped cheese makes him uncomfortable. He says that it is lewd and that, and I quote, Trevor is deflating, bro. It is lewd. It's lewd, brother.
Trevor
That's a you problem if you're seeing your girlfriend eat mozzarella cheese balls and you're getting a little bricked up like that. Yeah, brother.
Shane
Okay. Oh, my God. He says seeing me pop a wet cheese ball in my mouth makes him think of me having another man's balls in my mouth. Yeah.
Courtney
Huh.
Shane
I was really confused and I told him that I don't think this is that big of a deal and that it's literally cheese, but he told me the imagery still grosses him out. I thought we could work through this, but after a while, he said it might be a deal breaker if I don't stop.
Courtney
What?
Shane
Afterwards, he left for work and she's like. She's like, okay, fine, I won't have that anyways. I'm going to eat this banana right now. He's like, no.
Courtney
Yeah. What the hell?
Shane
What about the hot dog?
Courtney
No. Is she allowed to wear cleavage around the house? Like, what is happening?
Shane
Yeah, during the argument, he said he doesn't care if I eat mozzarella cheese, but he just wants me to eat it string or shredded instead. I know this is so high maintenance of me, but mozzarella balls are just my favorite snack. The texture, the taste, it's just so good. I like shredded cheese and string cheese, but they just aren't the same. I'm thinking I should maybe buy the smaller mozzarella balls that Belgioso sells and hope they won't bother him. But if I feed into this, could it reinforce this mindset he has? I don't know what to do. I want to make him comfortable, but this feels really controlling and unnecessary. Not to mention, I don't really want to give up on my favorite snack. He's a great guy and I know this post isn't doing him justice, but I just want to know if this is a red flag from him or if putting my foot down on this is unreasonable. Thank you in advance to anyone who reads this and offers me some advice. By the way, this is not an ad for Belgioso. Unless Belgioso, you want to hit us up.
Courtney
Can I say this and send Me some mozzarella balls of like the sizes of Belgioso mozzarella balls. Cause I've seen the big. I've seen the big and I've seen the little.
Trevor
Yeah, they make the little pearl ones and those ones they put in like the sauce. They'll put them in like an olive oil, like a salted olive oil type stuff.
Shane
I won't lie. When I'm at the grocery store, they have those big balls of mozzarella cheese. I imagine biting into them every time
Courtney
I see, like an apple.
Shane
Yeah. Oh, yeah. I love mozzarella cheese. It's so good. But it's basically like, it's as not cheese as it gets. You know what I mean? Like, it's basically cream.
Courtney
I'm just trying to understand. So how small is this man's ball
Shane
or how small does he think other man's balls are?
Courtney
Does he think there's an average size of balls?
Trevor
I just like, if I see my girlfriend eating cheese and my first thought is another man's balls, I think that's a me problem.
Shane
That's the problem. 1,000 million percent. That's a me problem. Like, that's why I. Sorry.
Courtney
I jumped straight to cleavage. You guys are probably like, whoa, whoa. But it's like, yeah, what are. What is she. What's that? Is how.
Shane
Well, it's his brain making it sexual. Yeah, she's eating cheese. He's going, that's another man's balls.
Trevor
Yeah.
Shane
He's not even thinking of his own balls. He's thinking of other man's balls. Yeah.
Trevor
He could be getting horny and being like, those could be my balls. And it could be like a hot
Courtney
thing for him who I'm getting they balls bit.
Shane
I'm just imagining you eating another man's balls.
Trevor
Like, bro, at what line do we draw? At what other balls do we draw the line? Like, if we're eating cheese puffs, is he going, damn, those look like other men's balls to me too.
Courtney
This is a particularly large blueberry. What are we gonna do?
Shane
I know.
Courtney
Where are we at?
Trevor
What foods are reminding this man of other men's balls? I know.
Courtney
God forbid she eats a hard boiled egg.
Shane
I know. Grief, just torment for this man. Okay, to be clear, this is a red flag. Yeah, to be clear, this is a red flag, 100%.
Courtney
And like, just like, let's even. Let's talk about the bare fundamentals of this is this person is projecting their insecurity onto their partner. Insecure that their partner would do. Would cheat on them. They're insinuating that this food is making them think of their partner cheating on them by, by, by eating this thing. But it's also calling it lewd and calling it sexual. It's like that's commentary on society and how everything women do is somehow sexualized whether they want it to be or not. Because the. The definition of sexualizing something is something that wasn't intentionally sexual. Being made sexual, like having your daily protein snack. Like, gosh dang.
Shane
Yeah.
Trevor
God forbid a girl just snack on some mozzarella cheese balls.
Shane
Yeah. Yeah. And to be fair on the packaging, it does say testicle sized, but, well,
Courtney
they call it fun size.
Shane
They are testicle sized mozzarella balls.
Courtney
I need to try these.
Shane
The perfect size. No, this is his problem for sure. I feel like he hits on a trifecta of things that are red flags. Right. One is any sort of like commenting or trying to control your partner's food or eating habits. Also taking away something that is like her favorite thing. It's like she's like, this is my comfort thing is my favorite thing. And he's like, no, you gotta stop. Because of my insecurity. But also it's hitting on the thing that I always think is a huge red flag, which is like when your partner jumps to, oh, you're cheating on me. Or that reminds me of cheating on me. That to me, in the most of the stories that we read is usually the biggest sign that they might be doing something or having thoughts of their own or whatever. Obviously we don't know if any of that's true, but it is a red flag in that, hey, you should be mindful of this.
Trevor
If this guy is as good of if he is a good guy, like she says. I think if someone were to look him straight in the eyes and say, every time you see your girlfriend eat mozzarella cheese, you think of another man's balls. Look inward. Yeah, I think maybe he could fix himself. I think if someone, if I was feeling that way and someone pointed that out to me in those words, I think maybe I'd be like, you know what?
Doug
You're right.
Trevor
That's insane.
Courtney
I would hope so.
Shane
He really does. It feels like, yeah. If this is all that that boils down to, he needs someone to just point out how embarrassing.
Courtney
Literally be like calling it a deal breaker. A deal breaker.
Shane
That and that. I don't like that too. I don't like how 1 to 0 or 0 to going with this. Like, because that's the controlling nature of it. It'd be one thing if he's like, yeah, I don't know why I'm having these thoughts of another man's balls in your mouth. But like he could communicate that I guess. But him being like, no, I'm going to break up with you, no.
Courtney
And that's like dangerous. This is dangerous territory where precedents are set and boundaries are ignored and and
Shane
if that's a deal breaker for him, it's like she's about to run into so many deal breakers with him in the future. I feel like this episode of Red Stories is sponsored by zocdoc. I know whenever I feel something off I start doom scrolling sympt and according to my recent spirals results I've been self diagnosed as a chronic overthinker. Luckily I know that isn't true because this big brain of mine remembered I could find a professional who has everything I look for in a doctor, makes me feel comfortable, explains things clearly, and most importantly has a doctorate. Zocdoc is a free app and website that helps you find and book high quality in network doctors so you can find someone you love. It's never been easier to find who you need, whether it's a dermatologist, general practitioner, or a guy in a white coat to tell me I'm not overthinking. You can even search by specialty or symptom to find the kind of doctor you need. And now I can happily say I'm actually super smart and intelligent and cool and stuff. I always use Zocdoc when I'm looking for a new doctor and you should too. I actually had been putting off doctor's appointments for a long time and when I finally downloaded the app it was simply too easy and to push it off any longer. I had an appointment within a few days. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to zocdoc.com PittReddit to find and instantly book a doctor you love today. That's Zocdoc.com PittReddit Zocdoc.com PitReddit Thanks Zocdoc for sponsoring this message. Back to the show. Nailed it. All right, comments? Someone said I would consider a partner who got
Doug
and Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual. Even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show.
Shane
Hey everyone, check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first date? Oh no.
Doug
We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Me to a Human him to a bird.
Shane
Yeah, the bird looks out of your league.
Doug
Anyways, get a quote@libertymutual.com or with your local agent.
Shane
Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Sexually jealous over a cheese snack. A deal breaker. Personally, 15,000 upvotes. Someone quoted underneath, she was cheating on me with cheese balls, bro. Someone said, red flag. He's so weirdly insecure that he's offended by you eating cheese. Real men would pound those suckers back. Right with you. By the way, what are his thoughts on bananas, popsicles, and corn dogs?
Courtney
God forbid I eat a corn dog.
Shane
Yeah.
Trevor
No, literally.
Courtney
And, like, what would she. What could she do about him then? Like, would she be like. Like, let's think, let's think. Yeah.
Trevor
Yeah.
Courtney
If he's getting. Getting in on a wall.
Shane
Put that taco down.
Courtney
Yeah.
Shane
Jesus Christ. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Put those coconuts down. You better not be holding two large melons in your hand at the grocery store.
Trevor
Do you want a cantaloupe or like a honeydew?
Courtney
No.
Shane
Okay, okay. Final comment. If you stop eating mozzarella cheese balls to make him comfortable, he's just going to think, good. She'll tolerate that crock of shit. She'll do whatever I tell her. And it will get worse. Stand your ground. If a man wants to lose you over cheese, let him. You'll have won. Yeah, I do agree with that. You will have one. We love one. Update.
Courtney
Yay.
Shane
Yeah.
Courtney
Cheese. Update. Cheese.
Shane
Update. Cheese. I also feel like. I feel like, as a man, I feel like any man who's dumb enough to come between a woman and cheese. Yeah, you're. You're going to get.
Trevor
You're going to get.
Shane
You're going to get broken up with. You simply are fighting a force. Like, scientists have studied this, and, like, they're like, this is a force stronger than the ocean solar waves. And they're just like, you can't stop this.
Courtney
Damn right. Damn right. Here. Wait. Shango, there's a little thing in there.
Shane
Get it.
Courtney
Yeah, got it.
Shane
Okay. Damn it.
Trevor
You gonna finish that?
Courtney
Sorry. That was making me think of a woman in your nose.
Shane
You can finish that. That's crazy. That's a razor statement. Okay, update. July 3, 2024. Two days later hey, guys, I hope I'm doing this update thing right. I've never made one before, so I'm just trying to copy what other people in this sub have done. I was debating posting this update or not, but seeing just how many people saw it and became invested in my snacking made me want to give anyone who is still interested a little bit of closure. First of all, I wanted to thank you all for your time spent with me. It's honestly a little overwhelming to see how many people took a break from what I assume our very busy lives to give me advice and support. I think it's very beautiful how so many people in so many different places can come together and give some love to people who need it. Secondly, I have a short and savory update. Get it? Because I couldn't leave you guys hanging the morning after I posted Hanging like balls. Like. Like balls.
Courtney
Sorry.
Shane
The morning after I posted, me and my boyfriend talked out this entire issue and he ended up explaining why his mind immediately went to a place of sexualizing something that has no implications. I left this out of my original post because it felt unrelated, even though in high hindsight it was obvious, but there was an issue with infidelity in his previous relationship. I didn't know the details of what happened and never tried to bring it up because I didn't want to upset him. That was my mistake though because he is still struggling with insecurities and felt unsure if he could tell me about it. Both of us were lacking communication skills, but we ended up clearing the air and I found out both why his last relationship ended and why seeing me eat cheese balls upset him. All I knew previously was that he had a serious relationship with his ex girlfriend and they broke up because she cheated on him. Now he let me know that he found out about the incident because the person she cheated with sent him a video of her eating another man's cheese balls. Oh, he told me that he feels like by now he should have gotten over it, but the betrayal stuck with him. The new move in together has started to trigger his unresolved feelings and has given him new anxieties that our relationship might end the same way. I think pairing that with the daily visual reminder through the cheese balls was a little too much for him. I know many of you have very strong opinions about him and I'm sorry to disappoint, but I am not ready to let go of this relationship yet. During our conversation, I let him know that I didn't like the direction that he was going with his ultimatum because it felt controlling and I told him I wouldn't tolerate another incident like this in the future. We already decided we would be looking for couples counseling in our area to help us both move on from this incident and generally learn to communicate more openly so that neither of us will Bottle up our negative emotions alone, and instead, we can help each other overcome these emotions as a unit. Right now, I'm feeling very hopeful, and I think that knowing about his past will leave me better equipped to pave a better future with him. Thank you for all your advice and support. I think that without your perspectives, I might have just given up on my cheese. And the two of us would continue to hide our emotions without realizing that we need to open ourselves up to more communication if we want to stay confident in both ourselves and each other. P.S. an extra thank you to everyone who gave me recipes and new cheeses to try.
Courtney
Ooh.
Shane
All right.
Courtney
I think green flag in the effort.
Shane
Yeah.
Courtney
Communication.
Shane
I think that's always huge. And he admitted the other possibility that we weren't considering. I just guess I. Yeah.
Trevor
Unfortunately, it's like, both the saddest and the funniest.
Shane
Yeah.
Trevor
At the same time, I very much empathize. Getting cheated on. That is an awful, awful thing. And unfortunately, it is kind of funny that it literally, like, the cheese balls remind.
Courtney
Like, can you imagine seeing a memory fifth, like, perfectly recreated in front of you, but with other things? And your brain goes, oh. Like, that came from a very real place.
Shane
Real place. I mean, I. I very grateful that I cannot relate to someone, like, being cheated on. And. And get, like, seeing.
Courtney
Rubbing it in. Yeah.
Shane
Like, seeing it being sent any sort of footage or photos. I'm like. And I've heard of people experiencing that. And I'm like, that's a nightmare. That's a nightmare that's gonna sit with you forever.
Trevor
Psychological damage.
Shane
Yeah, absolutely. Tormenting. So I understand that. And obviously, like, something that extreme, like, yeah, therapies. You're gonna need that. And, like, yes. He had inner demons from this. Thank God he's telling her. And I'm glad they're going to a couples counselor together, because that's a lot to work through. And clearly, if it's bubbling up now, like, that is something he has to
Courtney
work through with her. I mean, I'm so proud of her for, like, standing strong on. Like, I'm not tolerating this again. And it's controlling. Like, that's really important. And, like, the fact that he's willing to go do counseling with her too, like, this is. I'm hopeful, I'm optimistic.
Shane
Oh, for sure. Yeah. Cause it all comes down to trust and. Right. And his trust was completely obliterated in the past. Yeah. But he's in a whole new relationship with a whole new person. He's gotta establish new trust with her?
Trevor
Yeah. I feel bad now about what I said about being like, why would you think of another man's balls when you cheese balls? And I'm like, okay, like you. That's pretty.
Shane
That's fucked up. He has the one avenue of okay, that makes sense.
Trevor
It makes sense.
Courtney
No. Cause there's a horrible world where there is a type of boyfriend who was like, this will be my first thing that I do, you know, like the first step in being controlling and making it, of course, problem and stuff. So, like, and being on this show, we assume the worst sometimes, but thank goodness.
Shane
Absolutely. And I think even when it comes from a justified place, it's like, no, you still have your boundary. You cannot. Like, she was right to set her boundaries. And because she set her boundaries, this communication happened. Right? Like, would it have happened if she just said, okay, I'll stop. They had further conversations and she needed to know this about him and he needed to get it out there and
Courtney
maybe one day he'll enjoy those cheese balls with her.
Shane
Hey, man, I feel good.
Trevor
I love this show. If everyone in the room will allow me to wax poetic for a second. Shane, Sometimes when I think about the show, it's kind of like you're Jesus and I feel like we need to stop you there. And you're reading us these parables, you know.
Shane
Yes.
Trevor
And it's like, you know, the parables that Jesus was saying were like, you know, with titles such as the Good Samaritan, you know, and then you're reading us the stories of, hi, my boyfriend can't stop thinking about other men's balls when I eat mozzarella. And you know, it's like, are these stories true? You know, who's to say? But is the truth of these stories really, is it more important that these stories actually happened? Or does the truth of them lie in the lessons that we can learn? And it's just a really beautiful show that, you know, we can talk about mozzarella cheese balls and, you know, and walk away with something.
Courtney
Hey, hey.
Shane
Yeah.
Trevor
So thank you, Jesus.
Shane
Wow. You know, I guess what was Jesus but a 30 year old podcaster, right?
Trevor
Oh my God, look, the mass is out there. They're listening. This is the Sermon on the Mount.
Shane
You are Sermon on the Mount. Am I the asshole? Oh my God. God. Every Christian listener of the show is like, I gotta stop now. I have.
Trevor
Now they're going, you know, that's a good point.
Shane
I never thought about it. Wait a minute. Oh, God, thank you. Thank you, Trevor.
Trevor
Yeah, it's just Something I've been thinking about.
Shane
I like whenever anyone uses the term wax poetic. Yeah.
Courtney
I'm like, I, I. When you said mind if I wax poetic? I just picture you like waxing a car with a lot of feeling because I don't know what that means.
Shane
To speak beautifully for a moment, going
Trevor
into great detail and you know.
Shane
Yeah.
Trevor
Trying to be a little bit, maybe drop some wisdom here.
Shane
Yeah, well, you certainly did. You called me Jesus.
Trevor
Yeah, it's just the most, you know, maybe the best comparison I could think
Shane
of and people have said that before. Our next story comes from. Am I the asshole? Posted in December of 2021am I the asshole for quitting without notice over fake job postings? Okay, we have a job red flag story.
Courtney
Whoa.
Shane
As of Yesterday, I, a 31 year old woman, was the marketing coordinator for a real estate agent. Let's call him John. 39 year old man. He's very successful and recently hired a life coach who gives him weekly goals. Some of them are normal, like read this book on the cyclical nature of the real estate market. But other times it's shit. Like coach says I should take Friday off because sitting is the new smoking. Not the best behavior, but harmless enough. However, John's most recent goal caught me totally by surprise. Last week, John said his coach wanted him to develop his leadership skills. I asked what that entailed and he gave me a new task. Advertise fake job postings. One for every position on our team. John said he wanted 30 plus resumes per day and he'd interview the good ones. I can't overemphasize this enough. There are no job openings on our team. John's coach apparently thinks interviewing real people for fake jobs will make John a better leader. If someone can connect those dots for me, please do, because I don't get it. I asked John if he was serious and pointed out that people are desperate for work right now. His response? Coach says real leaders are always looking for new talent. Reason number one, why I might be the asshole. I couldn't refuse a direct request without getting fired. So I made the job postings. But I didn't list compensation in the hopes that people would see red flags. We got hundreds of resumes and John interviewed dozens of people. I listened in and they sounded like real interviews. At no point did John mention we're not currently hiring. One of the interviewees was a young woman who chatted with me while she was waiting and she said she's a single mother who had to get a last minute babysitter so she could make the interview. So not only is she not getting hired for this this job, it cost her money to show up. Another was an older man and when I walked him out, he asked, do you think a fossil like me has any shot? I almost burst into tears, but fury won out. I told him, there is no job. I'm sorry they lied to you. This company thinks nothing of wasting your time. He looked shocked and walked away. A Someone must have heard me because I got called into John's office where he proceeded to yell at me. Apparently he's fine with lying to people's faces, but not with people knowing about it. He threatened to fire me and I said to do it because I can't go along with this. You're getting people's hopes up for no reason. John argued that the jobs could be real in the future and it was helping him lead the team. So that made it okay. Reason number two, why I might be the asshole. I quit on the spot, no notice. I have a second job, so I'll be okay. But John said to forget about a reference. I've never not given notice before and I feel bad about that, but I just know John would make me keep bringing him resumes until my last day. Okay, this is. This, this isn't even red. This isn't even red flags. This guy is an.
Trevor
This is awful.
Courtney
I'm like, how is that legal? How is that even legal?
Shane
I never know about the legality of these types of business practices, but I would hope that's illegal. I think you should only be allowed to bring in like an interviewer if there's a real job opening. You are just wasting these people's time.
Courtney
So sad. No. And like, especially hearing about the single mother spending their money to go to this interview. Like, oh my gosh, that's so upsetting.
Shane
Yeah.
Trevor
If you've ever, like, had to like, like take a lot of time looking for a job in a really awful job market like the one that we're currently in. It's like every single time, you know, you get through an interview and then there's just. You don't hear anything back. It's demoralized.
Shane
Oh, absolutely. So hard.
Trevor
And to be doing that, like giving, like making someone. Yeah. Take time out of their day to go do something and give them like, oh my God, like, I got this interview in person. I'm going without there even being any chance of them actually getting a job is like evil.
Shane
Yeah. Not only is her boss an he's also a huge dumbass. Like, just like, this is a dumb guy. Like, I'm sure there's out there, there's good life coaches, but I don't know. This. This reads to me like a bad manosphere coach that he hired that's just spouting some bullshit. And I'm just like, I don't like this happening.
Courtney
Yeah, because it's like, I love the idea of people wanting to work on their leadership skills because leadership is a skill. But it's like, you're already a leader of a team. Like, if you want to improve those skills, maybe spend more time with the actual employees that you have at the company and without creating fake job opportunities for people. It's also just like, is the coach all of their bosses too? I personally, I don't think OP is the asshole for. For quitting. I wish they continue to be an asshole to the boss so that they'd get fired and maybe get severance.
Shane
Yeah.
Courtney
Because quitting and being fired are very different things.
Shane
True.
Courtney
But.
Shane
But, I mean, she just couldn't tolerate it. No, she couldn't go along with his horrible practices. I always also laugh at, like, because it reminds me of just the manosphere shit of, like, like, what is, in their mind, a good leader. Because I'm like. I'm like, oh, I'm a good leader, so I'm going to actually work on having less empathy and less understanding of human beings. I'm like, you don't even understand how another person works. Like, what the hell? Just. Just a dumbass verdict. Not the asshole comments. Not the. But report him to the board or some agent. This sounds highly illegal or immoral, to say the least. John is using his power to steamroll hundreds of people. You. Someone else said, not the asshole. And if they ask why you do not have a reference or why you left your old job, tell them the truth. I would hire you in a second just based on this incident. Someone said not the asshole. Hopefully John's life coach has experience in helping people apply for unemployment benefits. I think John is going to need it. Someone said, not the asshole. Your notice period was exactly as real as those job openings. And hey, having to scramble to cover your spot will teach him flexibility and gumption, making him a better leader. Good on you for sticking to your ethics.
Trevor
Yeah, that is such, like a. That's such an awful story to hear. Like, it's just so sad. Like, there's so many people, like, normal people that are just trying to get a job and, like, live that are being affected by it. And, like, I would hope that this is something that is an isolated incident, but who knows what other, like, kind of awful business practices are going on.
Courtney
Oh, yeah.
Shane
Especially when the current era, because I've been so lucky to have worked at this job for so long. But, like, I. I see comments and I see discussions of people talking about how hard it is to get a job right now. Like, people are sending out, like, just an absurd amount of resumes out there and not hearing back. And especially now with, like, just with the way the Internet works and with AI now involved with bullshit. Like, it's so hard to, like, get face to face time and get this close to getting a job.
Trevor
Yeah.
Shane
Like, this guy is evil for doing it.
Courtney
Yeah.
Shane
But, yeah, no update. No update. She quit. She quit. She left.
Courtney
Yeah. I hope that. I hope other employees caught on.
Shane
I hope this was back in 2021. I hope this guy's out of a job now. But Friday's sitting is the new smoking insane.
Courtney
Go play the Sims and do that in the Sims. Don't do this with real people.
Shane
Yeah, I'm just like, come on, do
Courtney
it in VR chat.
Shane
I don't know, guys.
Trevor
Don't go on VR chat. Don't do it. There's reason to go on VR chat.
Shane
Oh, my God. Anyways, all right, moving on. Our next one comes from relationship advice. It was posted in October of 2021.
Doug
And Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual, even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show.
Shane
Hey, everyone, check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first date? Oh, no.
Doug
We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.
Shane
Yeah, the bird looks out of your league.
Doug
Anyways, get a quote@libertymutual.com or with your local agent.
Shane
Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Girlfriend23 snooped through my Reddit account and threatened to break up if I didn't change the advice I give out. I think Reddit just ruined my relationship. Let's go.
Trevor
That's awesome.
Shane
Oh, my God, dude. Okay, I. This. This reminds me of, like, a thing that I feel like you and I have talked about a few times, that maybe we'll come back to it. Throwaway account. Because my primary account is compromised. We have been dating since we were. It's been compromised. Compromised. Throwaway account. Obviously. We have been dating since we were 19, and I love her a lot. She is overall a pretty awesome person. And the dynamic of our Relationship is great. We rarely use each other's phones, but also don't mind when we do. Today she just picked my phone up and started using it. She asked me what Reddit was and I gave her a rundown of Reddit and how it works. Once I told her about this subreddit and similar ones, she was keen to know the advice I give to strangers on the Internet because she thought of asking strangers for advice as a funny concept. She read through most of my comments and used my phone for two hours and was very upset at the end. I asked her what's up and she went ballistic on me saying I give horrible advice and that I should be ashamed. I was obviously confused because I only say stuff I would do and all my advice is in good faith. She said that most of my advice is about breaking up and don't consider biases that the OP might have made in the original post. Well, he sounds like a Reddit.
Courtney
Sounds like a Reddit.
Shane
Yeah people do be commenting to break up. You should break up. Break up, break up. Are those mozzarella balls? One of the posts she was upset about was of a dude that dumped his girlfriend of nine years because she cheated on him at the start and lied about it. My advice was that he should dump the cheater because cheaters don't change and that lying is much worse than cheating. When my girlfriend told me my advice was not good and not true, I asked her if she is a cheater because she clearly is trying to defend one. She said what if she was one and I told her we'd be done. This upset her even more and my dumb ass asked her are you a cheater? In an asking implying tone. That's my bad and I apologize since that's not what I was trying to say. We talked about other advice I gave out and with each and every one she got madder at me. To her, she thought I was a different person and doesn't think as I do about relationships. In my opinion I have done nothing wrong. I say everything I mean and would probably do that in real life. She said that I need to get a better perspective about relationships and change the kind of advice I give out, otherwise we won't work out. I told her that she threatening me with a breakup for a change in behavior is manipulative and she already read the advice I gave to one OP in the same same circumstance. This truly pissed her off and she left saying I need time to think about what I just said. I know this post is stupid, but who else to ask for help with Reddit ruining my relationship. Other than Reddit, this is mostly a rant with some advice seeking. Edit number one, I will show her this post once we make up. All to show her I'm not the only one that takes infidelity and similar acts so seriously and consider them instant dump worthy. Edit number two, I have been trying to reach her but she isn't responding, probably ignoring me. So I just shot her a text that I'm done with her and now is. No point in contacting me since she can't even speak to me. I won't beg her to come back. This is not a romcom. In our last interaction she raised several red flags, so I felt it was only fair to move on from this relationship. To be honest, if I was not the OP but a normal commenter, I would advise to break up. So that's what I'm doing. I'm not perfect, but I'm also not a hypocrite. Guess I'm single now with a peace emoji.
Courtney
It's like I lost my flag.
Shane
Yeah, the last part is a little bit like, all right, can I jump? Yeah, sure.
Courtney
I think it's, it's so interesting because we have talked about where a partner sees their boyfriend or girlfriend's Reddit account and they see how they behave online and how it's not what they expected. I think it is so jarring to see Internet behavior and then connect it to a real life person because we're so used to scrolling and it's just strangers. We're like this person who's saying, I would hire you in a second. Could be a 13 year old. Like, we don't know. And we see these comments all the time that are ignoring nuance every day, but we don't connect it with a real life person in our life. And so it's obviously really jarring for her. And I'm glad that nobody's really rubbing up against the fact that she went through his phone because with Reddit you can kind of go to an account and see every comment they've ever left, but I think it's just jarring to see such things and like, oh, that's a real person that I am close with is not talking like that.
Shane
Yeah. Cause I think what I've said to you is, I'm like, it's kind of crazy that, that for most people in the world there are two people and there's who they are in real life and then who they are on the Internet because you see so many accounts on Reddit. And I'd say, especially with Reddit where it's all anonymous of them, like, who are these people? Do they believe what they're saying here? There's probably, I guarantee you, with the way humans work, there are so many comments we've read where people are like, cheating is wrong, you should break up with them. And those are left by cheaters. Yeah, like, you just, just, you don't know who these people are. And that's the weird thing with, as people point out all the time, they're like, oh, that story is probably fake. I'm like, we don't know anything. This can be written by a 12 year old. That, that marriage advice you're getting could be from anyone. We don't know. But it's got to be jarring to. Because there was a story I read where a woman found out that her husband, who she was like, he's a great guy, he's so sweet. But his Reddit account, he just comments horribly misogynistic shit on posts all the time. And it's just like, who is this guy? Yeah, it's like that's, that is who he is. But it's like weird. Where the Internet gives people permission in weird ways. Anyways, I think this, converse, this story brings up a lot of like, topics around the story.
Trevor
But yeah, I think, like, for me, I think that this is a, I want to say it's a red flag and I think that a lot of Reddit is prone to it, especially with a lot of stories that reread. But people living in a fully, like, everything is black and white, there is right and wrong. If someone has cheated in the past, they are a cheater. If someone is a cheater, they deserve to be broken up with. Like, I think that it's very easy for people online to read a story that is coming from one perspective and has bias and be like, okay, this is what's right in this situation. This person's right and this person's wrong. And I think like, there's so much nuance that you can't capture in a Reddit story and so much nuance that is completely lost on commenters. And I don't know, honestly, with a story like this, I'm like, for me to make a, for me to make an opinion, I'm like, I gotta read everything this guy's ever said, every piece of advice he's ever said.
Shane
But yeah, because it felt like he cherry picked like the most blatantly obvious story where I'm like, okay. But I'm like, what else was going on in this conversation?
Courtney
Truly? It's like, oh, so interesting that, you know, he had to start a new account, so we can't go see what he was talking about. I also, like, I think it's so interesting how she was like, you need to change how you give advice. It's like, no, it sounds like he needs to. She's asking him to change his morals. Like, because it's not like, that's like a different guy posting those things. This is his guy. This guy.
Shane
He backs it up immediately.
Trevor
Yeah.
Shane
To his credit, he immediately is like, I believe that. Like, he doesn't deny like that. Or.
Courtney
Yeah. It's just so interesting to hear it worded like that. I don't know.
Trevor
Yeah. And for him to just, like, you know, be like, oh, she, like, didn't text back, so she obviously, like, isn't gonna give me the time of day. And everybody that commented on this was like, she's probably a cheater and is breaking up. It's like. Like, you were living in such, like, I feel like a distorted reality of, like, you have to at least give her a chance to, like, if she ghosts you and doesn't say anything for a week, then it's like, okay, yeah, like, I. I could see that. But I. I feel like to live in this world of, I'm right, you're wrong, you're wrong. I, like, whatever it is is just. It's. It's really damaging. And I don't think it. It, you know, is conducive to healthy relationships. I think that there is a lot more talking about and figuring out that needs to be done.
Shane
I agree with that. And I think. Yeah, I think it's very convenient. I think the black and white thinking, especially with the Internet and especially with. I think in our world today, where we feel so little control over anything, it's comforting to go like, that's a bad person. I get to file you into the bad person box, and I get to be the good person. I think it's algorithmic thinking, and we are using apps that are run by algorithms, and it has affected how we think. And we now think algorithmically of categorizing things and putting things into boxes and going, I'm read. I've read the story. I know you. I know your relationship breakup. That's the answer. It's like, sometimes the answers are complicated. People who listen to the show know, like, how I feel about cheating and that I've been cheated on. Does that mean that if someone I'm talking to goes, oh, I don't know, if someone cheated on me, if that's a deal breaker, do I immediately go, then you're a cheater. Like, I'm like, no. Like, people are complicated and it's more a matter of like, trust. It's not a matter of like good and bad. It's a matter of like what I think works and doesn't work.
Courtney
Yeah, yeah, like the first story.
Shane
Yeah, exactly.
Trevor
Yeah. I feel like with how long Reddit has existed, there's that. It's just these heuristics have been formed of like if someone says this thing that makes them this, if they speak like this, this is what they believe and that makes them this type of person. And that's always the case.
Shane
It's the jumping to character assumptions with things that always frustrates me with Reddit, right? Because it's going, oh, that, that act, what you did was wrong. Like, that's hurtful. I'm like, yes, I agree with that. But it's like, therefore, yeah, that's who this person is through and through. And I'm like, well, we don't know that.
Courtney
Yeah, like there's a difference between it's like, Shane, you're being a bitch or Shane, you're a like, and I am both. Like, there's a difference.
Shane
I'm a man of multitude, a bad bitch.
Courtney
Like, you're acting like a bitch is different than Shane, you are a full on 100% of the time band.
Shane
Sorry I've said this before, but like the thing that frustrates me and I see it in our comments is like, I don't have a problem if I say something go, oh, I disagree with what Shane said. There I go, yeah, even in rewatching it maybe disagree with what I said. What frustrates me is when they go, Shane said this and therefore he must be a really bad friend or Shane clearly is this type of person. I'm like, wow, whoa. Like, like person I don't know and have never seen like that. That's where I'm like, let's careful there.
Trevor
Based on the context of this story, it sounds like he is the type of person to be like that. Yes, it sounds like he is doing those things of like making very harsh and concise judgments based on the three paragraphs of text that he's read from the person's perspective.
Shane
And to be clear as well, if if like him talking to his partner and he goes, oh, this, this guy got cheated on and she lied and tried to hide the cheating, like. And she goes, I don't think that's a problem. I'd be like, that is a red flag. I'm not, I'm not saying she is in the clear here. I'm like, what she displayed was a red flag also. We're just ignal. We're just observing.
Courtney
He was like, I might have been an. For going, are you a cheater? But it's like that's kind of where the conversation was going. And she was actively antagonizing him in that moment. I think he was permitted to ask that question.
Trevor
Yeah.
Courtney
So like I do give him that. But yeah, there, there. It was a lot. There was a lot.
Shane
It was more, it was more the tone there at the end that I was observing like everything that actually happened. I don't necessarily have a problem with of him being like, oh, like I think cheating is wrong. And she goes, oh, I don't think cheating is wrong. He goes, are you a cheater? And she goes, what if I am? I'd be like, all right. Like that's a conversation. And, and, and for me it's like not about of you're a bad person. It's like, do you have trust for this person now?
Trevor
Yeah.
Shane
You don't have trust in the relationship. Doesn't work.
Trevor
Yeah.
Shane
I only thing I will criticize him for is I'm like, you went to the place where you frequent of people that you know are like minded to you to get advice.
Trevor
Yeah.
Shane
Maybe go to someone in real life to if you're having real relationship advice that like, you know the response.
Courtney
I also like, if we had the opportunity to read every comment that each person in our lives has ever left, I think we all would have a lot of shattering experience of.
Trevor
Whoa. Yeah.
Shane
Yeah. So the comments. Someone said, so as an avid advisor on this sub, what advice would you give yourself? OP said, this is funny. I feel bad for laughing. My advice would be something I have given out many, many times. Looks like this would be the hill I die on. Someone said it's a possibility for people to change, but it's also very hard to get trust back that is taken away. People try to go to counseling and try to work out the relationship, but that trust is never going to go back. You can build on new trust, but there's always going to a lingering feeling you have no problem giving it to her because you know yourself and you didn't do anything wrong. She took things way out of proportion. Once you're done healing, I hope you find Someone that you can trust and speak your mind with that holds no judgment. It's really hard to find, but just stick it out. You have to. You have a good head on your shoulders. Good luck. Someone said. Couple years ago, my husband borrowed my laptop while I was logged into Reddit and had left the page open. He read through a bit of my comment history, which actually really freaked me out when he told me. But his comment was that it was comforting to know that I sounded like exactly the same person on the Internet as I am in his life and that I didn't have some secret dark side or inner troll. The point being, I agree with you. If OP genuinely feels like he is the same person on Reddit that he is in real life, something is off in terms of their communication with or perception of each other. Yeah, yeah, I would say, like it. I'm a little shocked they haven't had any sort of convo of like, what's a deal breaker as far as infidelity goes. Like, not that that's like a obvious conversation for people, but I'm just like, that was a big topic that they had never. Yeah, bro. And she had an extreme take and he had an. They were on.
Courtney
How long were they together? Again?
Shane
Like four years. They were on polar opposite sides of this view and it's like, yeah, that doesn't work.
Trevor
Yeah, yeah. Not to be a Redditor, but I feel like. No, I mean it's, it is like her, her, her response to the question and topic of cheating is like, I would feel equally as uncomfortable like with that. I'd be like, that is not how I would want someone to respond.
Shane
I don't want anybody listening to this to think that I'm saying what she said was fine. No doing this show and reading so many Reddit stories. This story was interesting because it felt meta in a way.
Trevor
Yeah, I was gonna say it feels like the whole time I was talking about it I was like, I don't even think I was actually talking about this story. I think I was just talking about Reddit as a whole and like, like there is. It is possible for two people to be both right and wrong in the same story.
Courtney
Yeah, absolutely.
Shane
Everyone sucks and in the end, everyone sucks.
Courtney
Yeah, everyone sucks mozzarella balls. Oh, double referee, double call base.
Shane
Our next story comes from. Am I the asshole? Posted in May of 2021am I the asshole for refusing to get rid of a painting my friend made me Me. Oh, my best friend and I. 23 year old women met doing art at uni and since then have always had a tradition of giving each other homemade gifts, varying in levels from absolutely awful but well loved to genuinely time consuming pieces of art. They have always been a bit on the nose collages of drunken misdeeds and dodgy shaped pottery, etc. Everyone I'm close to is well aware of this tradition and we all tend to get a laugh out of it. This year she gifted me a canvas, a 4ish size painting of me standing beside a male celebrity that we both love. I absolutely loved it and sent pictures to one of our group chats where everyone laughed at how cringe but genuinely lovely of a gift it was. Straight afterwards I got a text from my boyfriend in two years telling me that he was pissed off and upset at how insulting it was for me to be displaying that in my flat when he would be coming over. It really upset me but I stood my ground and told him that it was my flat and this was a genuinely time consuming piece of art that my friend had put time and effort into so I would not be getting rid of it just because it made him insecure. I know there wasn't any malice on my friend's part in gifting it to me. She, like me, genuinely wouldn't have considered something like that would be upsetting. My boyfriend lives in a house with roommates where they have posters of women on the walls and I don't really see the difference. But now I'm beginning to doubt myself. I won't get rid of the flag.
Trevor
I broke the flag.
Shane
I waved it too hard.
Trevor
Too red of a flag.
Shane
Oh no, I'm beginning to doubt myself. I won't get rid of it like he wants me to. But should I be more sympathetic and hide it from me?
Courtney
Him?
Shane
Edit thank you so much for all the advice. Since people have asked, it's a very PG painting the celebs chest up with an arm around me. I think she took reference from a meet and greet with him and a fan and just replaced the fan with me. Oh see, I thought it was gonna be a painting of of like her and the Grinch and the Grinch's balls are in her mouth.
Courtney
Oh my God Shane.
Trevor
Now that would be funny.
Courtney
Shane.
Trevor
Now that would be funny. I want one of those.
Shane
But me
Doug
and D. Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual, even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show.
Shane
Hey everyone, check out this guy and his bird. What is this your first date?
Doug
Oh no, we help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.
Shane
Yeah, the bird looks out of your league.
Doug
Anyways, get a quote@libertymutual.com or with your local agent.
Shane
Liberty, Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Sorry.
Trevor
It was like.
Shane
Come on. It was low hanging fruit. Hey, sorry.
Trevor
That's good stuff.
Courtney
I'm just picturing, like, imagine like your. Your girlfriend is drawing something and it's like, them, and you're like, oh, that's so nice. And then you start seeing them drawing another guy and you're like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like, it is not real.
Shane
Come on, bro. Okay, yeah. This is a red flag on the boyfriend for sure.
Courtney
I want to know who the celebrity is.
Shane
Yeah.
Courtney
Is it Edward Cullen?
Shane
Okay, guesses. I would guess, like, let's see. This is posted 2021 and they're 23 year olds. They're 23 in 2021. Could be like Harry Styles.
Trevor
Could be a Styles.
Courtney
I think a Pattinson or a Styles.
Shane
Because Pattinson Styles.
Courtney
If they're uni, they're calling it at uni. They're probably.
Shane
Ooh, they're British.
Courtney
Yeah. Or from the uk. Chris Evans.
Shane
Yeah, it could be. It could be. It could be Chris Evans. It could be.
Trevor
There's no way. It's like a Timmy C. What if
Courtney
it was like Liam Neeson?
Trevor
I feel like a Timmy C. Liam Neeson would be Crimsony.
Shane
Yeah, no, I'm going. You're going.
Courtney
Grinch with balls in your mouth.
Shane
I know.
Trevor
Yeah.
Courtney
No, yeah, we know.
Shane
Shane. Yeah. No, even though that's funny. No. Grinch Green to all our fan art friends. Don't, don't. Or don't. Or don't. I drew fan art of Shane. I'm like, oh,
Courtney
the rpo box is.
Trevor
Dang it. Why do I have to get cast in the Grinch Balls episode?
Shane
Grinch Balls. Reddit stories, please.
Courtney
All right. What's the Internet saying?
Shane
Okay, okay.
Courtney
He's looking at pictures of Grinch's ball. I found out. Wow.
Shane
Comments Disposal services. I'd like to arrange a pickup. Yes. The whole man.
Trevor
Nice zinger.
Shane
Someone said my mom has a full room of shitty portraits of various male hunks that I did for her during my teenage imma be an artist phase. My father never batted an eye. This room is now unofficially his office. Someone said, not the asshole. And this is a huge red flag. It makes no sense for him to be pissed off or insecure about a painting. He wants you to get Rid of something that your friend lovingly made for you and he's making you doubt yourself. Yeah. Not only is it not something like she made herself, it's like a friend made this. It's like a gift. So. Come on, dude.
Courtney
It's the. It's the sweater curse. Remember the. Like when someone knits a sweater, it affects somebody. Somebody gets affected.
Shane
Someone. Someone. Yeah, you're right.
Courtney
Let's shed some light on the fact that the. The guy has a house that has sexy women on posters in their place.
Shane
There is a serious issue if. If you have this level of jealousy over. Over what is just a gift and is a fictional concept. Right.
Courtney
God forbid she actually went to a meet and greet and got a pick.
Trevor
Yeah. I think that there is some nuance to the, like, celebrity crush thing. And I could understand how, like, some people could be insecure about, like, if someone was like, way over the top and constantly being like, oh, my God, I love that they're so hot, like, constantly talking. But if it's a little portrait that
Courtney
your friend drew and it's like a
Trevor
little inside joke between two of you or whatever, just someone that you like, like, where is the harm?
Shane
Yeah. Truly, there is healthy amounts of it. It kind of falls into. It's. It's a. Nah, this is a different category. I was gonna say there was the one where the guy was, like, mad that his girlfriend was reading, like, spicy books, right. And she's kinda like, hey, man, there's a realm of fiction. And I think a lot of celebrity crushes fall into the, like, realm of fiction.
Trevor
Yeah, 100%.
Shane
Right. Where it's like, oh, this is a real thing. I just like this idea of a thing and it's just a Fun Whatever.
Trevor
Yeah, 100%.
Courtney
No, and it's still like, the fact that they. That wherever he lives with his guy roommates, they have pictures of women up all over the place.
Shane
Like, then they're living in the 80s.
Courtney
I know. I literally. I'm picturing, like, the 80s high. The high waisty, like, muscly, tan girls.
Shane
I feel like you would have that poster.
Courtney
I do.
Shane
No, you don't.
Courtney
It's just not up right now.
Trevor
It's up in a room you don't know about, bro.
Shane
What?
Courtney
I do have that one painting that's like, sexy legs.
Shane
Yeah, that's like a very artsy. That's not so.
Courtney
So it's the same. It's like. But you know what I'm saying.
Shane
I know.
Courtney
Like, it is. It's not sexual, but it is I've got.
Trevor
It's a little cat and he's got a little cowboy hat on and then a little gun. It's like a little kitten with a little cow. It's like a little cowboy cat.
Shane
That's awesome.
Courtney
I. I think what I'm trying to say is it's like it's all harmless, right? So like if he should not see the harm and if he doesn't see the harm in his own.
Shane
Absolutely. Update. Whoa. Oh, they do.
Courtney
They painted the bottom half of the painting and they're naked in the bottom half of the painting.
Shane
Final guesses for celebrities. It's a celebrity man. Popular in 2021.
Courtney
Robert Downey Jr.
Shane
It's a good guess. I think.
Trevor
I feel like RP. I think Robert Pattinson was a good.
Shane
That was a good guess. Okay, I've seen the photo, so I know.
Trevor
Okay.
Shane
For those interested, we have split up.
Courtney
Oh.
Shane
I know it seems like it's over something so trivial it's laughable. But I tried to have a civil conversation and explained that I wasn't willing to compromise on. On this. He got physically imposing and called me and my friend, which was truly the last straw. Various vulgarities which was very out of character but enough of a raging red flag for me to get the fuck out. He didn't even try to explain rationally why it made him upset, just that he was upset I hadn't thrown it away. Upon recollection he probably was looking for an excuse to break up. At least I'm hoping so. Or I really did waste two years of my life. Hung up on somebody genuinely threatened by an oil painting. He picked his hill and died a really embarrassing death on it. I've contacted his mum to make sure he's okay. K booked a drinks night with my best friend and I will now officially be telling everybody that Sebastian Stan ended my last relationship. Thank you so much to everyone who gave me advice. You were all lovely. X. Sebastian Stan. That's a good one.
Courtney
Winter soldier wig on.
Trevor
Oh, duh bro. Winter soldier Sebastian Stan.
Courtney
Oh my God. Yeah, but like with the wig though. Cuz that wig is rough.
Trevor
No, not the. I can't do the greasy wig.
Shane
I don't know.
Trevor
I need the haircut. Whatever one you got a haircut end.
Shane
Good pick though. A pick we respect. Yeah, I mean his response absolutely did the absolute right call. I know we just before said like hey, like not everything is breakup worthy. But like no, this, this, this, no. She tried to talk to him and he gave her his response.
Courtney
He did his big One.
Shane
I. I will also point out something that I feel like is commented a lot that I think of is. Is like, oh, he. He yelled out these vulgarities, which is very out of character for him. It's like, actually, I think you just got to finally see his character.
Courtney
Unlocked character.
Shane
Yeah, like, no, that' you're, like, unlocking
Trevor
a skill tree in life. And it's like, oh, I'm gonna choose the calling people vulgarities 1. That's my next level up. Yeah.
Courtney
Love that tree.
Shane
Yeah.
Courtney
Or like the star constellation in Sky Diamond.
Shane
Yeah, yeah.
Courtney
The abusive narcissist,
Shane
which, like, oh, what kind of build are you doing this?
Courtney
Run Stealth. Narcissist.
Trevor
Narcissist is crazy.
Shane
Oh, my God. It's like, oh, crazy. Anyways, I think I'm gonna do barbarian.
Courtney
Barbarian. Ch.
Shane
Barbarian. Cheater.
Trevor
I was just thinking about doing, like a mage, but I don't know.
Shane
Oh, yeah, Redditor. Oh, yeah. What are you playing as? Oh, so I'm an Argonian cheater right now. All right, we're having fun here. All right, it's time for our final story. And this comes from the subreddit, too. Hot takes. Shout out to Morgan over at two Hot takes, man. Good subject. Subreddit people. Submit some good over there. Like this one. Mother in law thinks I am a witch because I dressed up as one for Halloween.
Courtney
Hot.
Shane
Well, if it's that one episode of Buffy. Hot.
Courtney
Yeah, it is. Oh, yeah.
Shane
Yeah.
Courtney
And that Buffy.
Shane
Anyway, for the few Buffy fans out there, any Buffy.
Trevor
Few. Bro, grow up. It's a lot more than a few.
Shane
That show came out before you were born.
Trevor
Yeah. So what? So did a lot of great, I guess, media.
Shane
To be fair, I was also like 5 years old when it started, so it's not like I was watching it either. I married my husband about a year ago, and we'd been together for about three. I don't know his parents all too well, mainly because he had made a point to keep a fair amount of distance from them. But during all the wedding planning and events, I thought it would be nice to be closer with them, especially as both of my parents have passed away. Several years ago, I encouraged my husband to build more of a relationship with them. However, around the time of the wedding, I started to see a bunch of red flags. I generally chalked them up to wedding stress on them. My husband is their only son. But after the wedding, the red flags started getting even bigger. I was still nothing but kind towards them, but my husband was frustrated and started going low contact with them. So that's the backstory. Now, on Saturday, my husband and I went to a friend's birthday party which was Halloween themed and costumes mandatory. We both got too busy with work and at the last minute the only costume we could put together was him wearing a T shirt that said I'm with the witch and me wearing a black dress I already owned with a black choker necklace. That's it you guys. The extent of our costume. We took a picture at this party and it was put on the socials. The next day, mother in law texts hubby and I a screenshot of said picture and writes a message about how concerned she is about us and that she is praying for us. I was confused until my husband reminded me of her Karen Christianity. You know, the kind that gets offended if anyone happens to be a different religion, offended if anyone says what the hell etc. My husband then starts getting phone calls from random distant and extended family members asking if he's okay. Turns out Karen has texted my husband's entire extended family, uncles, aunts, cousins all over the country. The same screenshot of our picture with a long five paragraph text asking everyone to pray for her son that I, her daughter in law, am into some dangerous things and is a danger to her son. Huh? She doesn't spell out her cockamamy belief that she thinks I am a witch. Instead she says that I am into bad and dangerous things and that I am dragging her son down with me and she asks everyone to pray for him and pray for me too. Bless her heart for being so generous with her prayers for I am but an evil witch. So of course the extended family members assume maybe I'm into drugs or I'm poisoning him or some other type of abuse. You can see what this would do for my reputation in this extended family. I text her back and tell her that her actions were uncalled for and that I will be going no contact with her. Moving forward. She responds with daughter in law we all know you dabble in witchcraft. I am only concerned about my son. I pray for you both. Husband called his father and asked him how he could let her do something like this. But father in law doubled down on Karen's accusations. So now my husband has gone no contact with his parents too. I feel like I am in a really bad soap opera. This isn't real life. This has to be certifiably insane, right? Part of me feels like no contact isn't for everyone forever and that eventually my husband and they will reconnect even if I Don't. Which does bother me. What would you all do in this situation? Pick of the costume. It's nothing. It's.
Courtney
Yeah, she's got a choker on. And he says, I'm with the witch.
Trevor
Honestly, I'm reserving a very tiny speck of my judgment here for how low effort that costume.
Courtney
Yeah.
Trevor
I have a lot of judgment for the parents. And I'm like, look, you could.
Courtney
I was expecting so much more. I was expecting hat, gown, broom, room, skin painted.
Trevor
Yeah, you left me wanting more there on the costume, but I'll. I'll. I'll allow it. I'll let it slide this time.
Shane
OP this is, you know, I feel like we've brought up a lot of like, big Reddit convos, and this is another one of like another Reddit thing is like, no contact. It's like, oh, cut them out of your life. But here's the reality is like a lot of people's parents, it's like they're no contact for a damn good reason. It's like, because they're dangerous to him. Like, they are controlling, they're manipulative, and they are just, just. Yeah, yeah. Like, what do you do about this? Like, this is so extreme.
Courtney
I'm so confused because, like, what, what, what fed into this, that this one photo decided it?
Shane
I think. I, I mean, because, because he was saying. So where I'm a little frustrated at OP Like, a little. A little frustrated is that she talks about. She's like, he's very distant from his parents.
Courtney
Right.
Shane
So planning up to the wedding, I encouraged him to, to like, get his parents back into his life because her parents have passed away. She clearly must have had a good relationship with her parents. So she's going, you should be. You should too. It's like, why I feel like what they should have is really had more of a convo of why are you almost. Or low contact or almost no contact with your parents? Cause this happened very quickly.
Trevor
Yeah. I think, you know, coming from, you know, not a family like that, but, you know, growing up in Idaho and around a lot of kind of like conservative, like, Christian evangelical type things is like, this is the type of person, if I had to guess, the mother is very Christian and very controlling of her son or, you know, for whatever reason, and he goes off to live his life and, you know, probably like kind of steps away from that a little bit and, you know, is now marrying someone who's, I, if I had to guess, not a Christian. And now she's putting all of that Blame. Because in her eyes, it's like, oh, that's my perfect Christian son. And this woman, the secular woman, has bad influence, come in and ruined him and turned him to the devil. And now maybe this picture on Instagram was enough for her to be like, all right, here's finally the piece of evidence that I can send around to everyone and be like, see there? She's evil. She's ruining our. This is, you know, your family member. And they're. And it's just so toxic and awful, and it just comes from the. This very, like, controlling place.
Courtney
Like, imagine having to feel like you need to put out a PR statement for your family, for your bloodline.
Shane
Yeah.
Courtney
Like the fact that a witch. A witch picture, a costume photo. It's like, hello, just getting on here to say, I am not a witch.
Shane
Yeah.
Courtney
Hey, everyone. Like, where are we in the Internet that people are believing that. The fact that so. So this Karen might be saying some really nasty things to try and back up this. This. Because it's. It's baseless. It's one photo.
Shane
On a smaller note, it's so disrespectful and controlling for her to do to her. So she's like, my son who is incapable of living his own life or making his own decisions. I must make the decision for him.
Courtney
Right.
Shane
And tell all our family how they should feel about my son. It's like she's completely taking away his life and agency.
Trevor
Yeah.
Shane
And it's like, this is a fully grown man. Like, this isn't some kid. You know? Like, I just. Based on the picture, it's like, this is clearly a man who's like, definitely, like, in his 30s or 40s. It's like, yeah, oh, my God, you're doing that to him now. Like, she probably was way worse back in the day.
Courtney
And it's like. And yeah, it's probably because as they. They got into more contact with.
Shane
Yeah.
Courtney
Everything. And they're probably just regretting it. I don't think necessarily she needs to feel worried that they're gonna get back close to the family without her.
Shane
I don't think he needs much of an excuse to go. No contact with them again.
Courtney
Like, I think the biggest red flag is, like, I've experienced this where someone will, like, go around calling people and just disparaging a person. And, like, it's sad that that's happening, obviously. And it's also sad when people just choose to believe that. That. And, like. But, you know, people were texting him, saying, hey, are you okay? Like, what's going on.
Shane
They thought something. Yeah.
Courtney
Yeah. So I would hope that that was them giving them the benefit of the doubt. Because it's like you, if someone's ever calling around or calling you just to, like, talk just to talk about someone, it's a red flag to me.
Trevor
And it's like, so it's so toxic on her part to her entire family because she's clearly misrepresenting this and, like, making them worried. Like, potentially, like, you're now adding worry into their life that, like, oh, it's like something going on, like, is. Is everything o. When he's just living his normal life and he's very happy and now they're like, okay, forbid. I've spent this time now worrying because she's crazy. And like, it's just. It's so insane.
Shane
It's comments. She was looking for a reason to give you the boot and the costume was the perfect moment. She seemed super toxic. No wonder why he kept his distance to begin with. Opie said, you are absolutely right. Someone said, mother in law wrote herself out of your lives with this one. I would go no contact until she apologized, which might be never. It might be for the best for this to happen now over something as trivial and silly as a Halloween costume. If it wasn't this, it'd be something else eventually. Someone said your husband knew of his parents red flags and did his best to keep you safe from them. W hubby.
Courtney
W hubby.
Shane
W hubby.
Courtney
W hubby.
Shane
Lastly, someone said, dress up as your mother in law as a witch. Side note, if she really thinks you're a witch and into dangerous things, why is she messing with you? Ask her. Then ask for a lock of hair. I actually think after all this, I don't know if I believe the mother actually believes she's a witch. I think she's just like, willing to do whatever she has to. Like.
Trevor
Yeah, I think it's like, yeah, she's just controlling. And it's this very, like, weird, like, I don't know why it is such a thing, but this weird, like little mama's boy, like, oh, that's my little precious baby boy. And like, he can never do any wrong. And if he doesn't have the perfect girl that I picked out for him, then I'm just gonna be an evil, awful person to her.
Shane
Yeah.
Courtney
No, that's so real. So what do we think they should dress up next Halloween to probably as
Shane
change her mind, Trick her, Torment her?
Courtney
Angels.
Shane
Angels. And they say they post and they go, we've Gone to heaven.
Trevor
Yeah.
Shane
And she's just like Jesus.
Trevor
Yeah, she should be Jesus. That'll really tick her off.
Shane
Well, that was our last story. That was it.
Courtney
I think witches are awesome.
Shane
Yeah, I do, too. I like witches.
Trevor
I think so. I love the movie.
Shane
The Wicked Witch of the Beast, bro.
Courtney
Sounds scary.
Shane
The Vivich. The Vivich. The Vivich Vvitch is one of my favorites.
Courtney
What's the one? What's the midnight margarita to win? Practical magic.
Shane
I've never seen practical magic. I don't tell Amanda.
Courtney
You never seen practical magic? How could you not know what practical magic.
Trevor
You never seen Pract.
Shane
Know what practical magic is?
Courtney
Muhammad Ali of witch movies.
Shane
Good reference. Nice. Good reference.
Trevor
Good reference.
Shane
Wow.
Trevor
People are going to know what Reddit stories I was watching.
Courtney
I was practicing being with Trevor this morning by watching a Reddit story.
Trevor
He's like, I haven't talked to Trevor in so long. I haven't been in a video with Trevor in so long. I gotta remember what this kid's like.
Courtney
Feels good to be back in here, guys.
Shane
Yeah.
Courtney
And just making videos in general.
Shane
I'm excited for us to be in our, like, actual new studio.
Courtney
Oh, yeah.
Shane
It'll be cool. Gonna be sick.
Trevor
It's gonna be sick. Hey, stick around. I don't know when the air dates are, like, when we'll get new videos.
Shane
Stick around next week. Around the sweet life of Zack and Cody. Anyways. Yeah. All right. This has been chill.
Courtney
Hey, eat mozzarella balls responsibly. You.
Trevor
You guys are a couple flags to me.
Courtney
You always have been.
Shane
Look, I. Since I know you guys in real life, you guys are green flags. Now I need to see your Reddit history.
Courtney
Perfect.
Shane
Let's forget about it.
Courtney
I have one comment. Do you know what. What it is? It was one where Xbox was down, and there was a whole thread about Xbox being down, and I was like, it's 3pm but it's still down. That's my only one.
Trevor
This is crazy. This is real and true. I don't even have a Reddit account.
Shane
I don't have a Reddit account.
Trevor
I. I've never left a comment.
Shane
I've thought about making one.
Courtney
I have two.
Shane
I've thought about making one and then commenting, like, on the smosh. Reddit.
Courtney
Yes.
Shane
And just being like, I see you guys. Yeah. I'm lurking. I'm always here.
Trevor
Someone leaves a mean, like, comment, and you're just like, you're being a real dork right now.
Shane
I'm not kidding. I've thought about making a Reddit account. And. And being my biggest hater as a bit.
Trevor
Yeah,
Courtney
that's pretty good.
Shane
So that people are like, who's this guy who hates Shane?
Trevor
Why isn't he banned?
Shane
And then I would reveal it, like, years later, be like, I was my biggest hater.
Trevor
And there's a lesson.
Shane
And there's a lesson not to act poetic. But aren't we all? Anyways. All right, bye, guys. See you later. Bye.
Doug
And, Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual. Even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show.
Courtney
Hey, everyone.
Shane
Check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first date? Oh, no.
Doug
We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual.
Shane
Together.
Doug
We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.
Shane
Yeah, the bird looks out of your league.
Doug
Anyways, get a quote@libertymutual.com or with your local agent.
Shane
Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.
Host: Shane Topp
Guests: Courtney Miller, Trevor Evarts
Date: May 9, 2026
In this lively, laughter-packed episode, the Smosh crew dives into a Reddit classic: Red Flags. Host Shane guides guests Courtney and Trevor through a series of wild, cringey, and sometimes poignant Reddit posts—all revolving around suspicious behaviors (red flags) in relationships and workplaces. With a playful, self-aware tone, the trio unpacks these stories, waving literal red and green flags, poking fun, and sometimes sharing genuine insights about trust, insecurity, and boundaries.
[02:46–22:48]
A woman reveals her boyfriend may leave her because he can’t handle seeing her eat mozzarella cheese balls, claiming the act is “lewd” and makes him think of her eating another man’s balls. She wonders if this is a red flag.
The boyfriend’s behavior was rooted in trauma—his last partner cheated and he learned via a video of similar imagery. The couple chose couples counseling to work through trust and communication.
Green flag moment: "During our conversation, I let him know that I didn’t like the direction ... because it felt controlling … We already decided we would be looking for couples counseling" ([17:03-18:13]).
[24:11–31:18]
A marketing coordinator’s boss, under advice from a life coach, asks her to post fake job openings and conduct interviews for jobs that don’t exist, allegedly to “practice leadership.” She quits on the spot after realizing the harm, especially when a single mom spends money for a babysitter just to attend a fake interview.
[32:03–47:06]
A man recounts how his girlfriend scoured his Reddit comment history, was appalled by his frequent “dump them” advice, and demanded he change or she’d end things. After an escalating argument, he tells her the relationship is over.
[47:06–55:59]
A woman’s boyfriend is upset she keeps a playful painting her friend made of her with a celebrity crush (Sebastian Stan). He demands she remove it, despite keeping posters of attractive women at his own place. The conflict escalates; he becomes verbally abusive, and she breaks up with him.
[57:38–67:15]
After donning a low-effort witch costume (“I’m with the witch” T-shirt, black dress, choker) at a Halloween party, a woman’s mother-in-law launches a family-wide text campaign accusing her of being “dangerous,” sabotaging her reputation and prompting her and her husband to go no-contact.
On Internet “Parables”:
Meta Podcast Reflection:
Comic Relief:
Final Reflection
| Segment | Start | End | |----------------------------------------------------------|---------|---------| | Mozzarella Cheese Balls Dilemma | 02:46 | 22:48 | | Fake Job Interviews Red Flag | 24:11 | 31:18 | | Snooping Reddit Account/Black-and-White Advice | 32:03 | 47:06 | | Painting of Celebrity/Jealous Boyfriend | 47:06 | 55:59 | | Mother-in-Law Witch Accusation | 57:38 | 67:15 |
This episode delivers both comic absurdity and meaningful commentary, making it essential listening for anyone who enjoys pop culture, relationship dynamics—and a healthy serving of cheese-based humor.