Readers Beware... | Reading Reddit Stories

Summary

Smosh Reads Reddit Stories

Episode: "Readers Beware... | Reading Reddit Stories"

Date: October 25, 2025
Host: Shayne Topp
Guests: Damian, Angela
Theme: Spooky and Scary Reddit Stories – Paranormal, Real-Life Creepy, and Hair-Raising Internet Tales

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Overview

In this special Halloween-themed episode, Shayne Topp gathers Smosh friends Damian and Angela to plunge into some of Reddit's eeriest stories. With a focus on both supernatural phenomena and genuinely unsettling real-life situations, the crew reacts to tales of haunted houses, "gnomes", boundary-breaking partners, and chilling personal encounters. The group interjects snark, skepticism, gallows humor, and moments of introspective vulnerability as they dissect the wildest Reddit posts themed around fear — both imagined and all too real.

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Key Sections & Time-Stamped Recap

1. Halloween Vibes and Ghostly Scepticism [01:00–15:30]

• The trio riff on Halloween's status as "the best holiday," pumpkin-themed foods, and how some people plan their entire October around spooky festivities.
• They dive into the vibe of "pumpkin times" and the thrill of spooky stories, but quickly reveal that, among them, belief in the paranormal is complicated.
  • Shane: “I need to be skeptical because I’m skeptical of what I am seeing.” [09:03]
  • Damian: “Everything is magic until you understand how it works.” [10:12]
• Angela brings up the “Dynasty Typewriter Ghost,” pondering patterns in hauntings, and the psychology behind wanting to believe the world is stranger than it seems.

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2. The Haunted House, The Gnome, and Real-Life Danger [04:53–28:38]

The Paranormal Reddit Story: “I Think My House is Haunted. I See Gnomes and Hear Voices.”

• Story summary: A woman in Spain describes a series of bizarre experiences: hearing her absent husband’s voice, seeing a gnome run under her bed, mysterious moaning, possessions moving, and underwear/jewelry appearing in strange places. She even finds her sink inexplicably full of warm, soapy water.
• The group discusses:
  • The surreal escalation from a spooky voice to “literally seeing a gnome.”
  • Skepticism about human perception, logical fallacies, and the potential for mundane explanations (like plumbing issues).
  • The concept of “frogging” — someone secretly living in a home — is raised as a plausible explanation.
  • Memorable Quote:
    Shane: “Pause. You’re like, oh, I heard a voice. By the way, I have seen a little tiny man run under my bed… By the way, side note, I’ve seen a tiny little man run.” [07:03]
• Updates: The situation evolves when she discovers evidence that someone was actually living in a loft in the connected house, including trash, a mattress, and stolen underwear. The “gnome” is likely an actual intruder.
• Discussion around real-life horror overtaking supernatural explanation:
  • Angela: “Everything makes sense, and I feel like you never get this… The moaning makes sense, the jewelry, all… underwear… except the gnome!” [26:26]

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3. Real-Life Nightmares: Manipulative Partners & Unsettling Art [29:40–52:59]

1. Girlfriend Secretly Sabotaging Partner’s Jobs [29:40–43:47]

   • Man discovers his girlfriend is responsible for years of harassment and job losses by leaving false complaints and reviews under aliases.
   • Resonance with Munchausen by proxy and pathological need for control.
   • OP finds detailed spreadsheets in her emails, leaves her, and seeks legal and psychological help.
   • Damian: “This is what she did when she liked you…” [41:36]
   • Angela: “Police, lawyer, therapy. Repeat.” [40:36]

2. Brother-in-Law Writes ‘Gone Girl’-Style Book About Sister-in-Law [44:47–53:12]

   • The group recoils at the inappropriateness and potential danger in someone fictionalizing their obsession with a family member—then handing the manuscript to their muse.
   • Discussion of trust, safety, and the inevitability of revealing the situation to the sister.
   • Angela: “I’m showing you this book not because I’m jealous or in love with your husband. I’m showing this book because it’s the other way around.” [49:22]

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4. Therapists, Boundaries, and Hair Crimes [53:29–67:12]

1. Psychiatrist Asks Patient If She Can Move In With Her [53:29–61:50]

   • Patient’s psychiatrist repeatedly makes overstepping requests, blames personal tragedies on “not being happy enough,” and makes the patient doubting her own boundaries.
   • The group reiterates: “This is wildly inappropriate and unprofessional — report her immediately.”
   • Damian: “The only test is how much you can make your therapist laugh so you become their favorite.” [61:19]
   • Update: OP takes the advice and switches providers.

2. Boyfriend Secretly Curls Hair While Girlfriend Sleeps [64:30–68:36]

   • Both unsettling and darkly comic, this story turns from odd fetish to outright violation of consent.
   • Angela: “No, that. She said no, it’s not your body. Go away.” [66:15]
   • Damian: “Not bodily autonomy. You didn’t consent to any of that. Time to go.” [65:44]

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5. One Last Tale: Sex and Soul Thievery & Final Thoughts [68:41–74:51]

• Story of a “horny 21-year-old” who discovers his casual sex partner lays out hundreds of photos of herself (and her family!) on the floor — and demands sex atop them. He soon faces months of being stalked at work and online.
• Group jokes about occult “soul-stealing rituals” and relieves tension with bitey humor.
  • Damian: “She just didn’t have any rose petals, so she’s like, all these Polaroids…” [71:07]
  • Angela: “That was a lot today. Ghouls gotta up their game. Nothing scarier than trauma.” [73:31, 73:43, 73:45]
• The episode closes with a consensus: “Turns out that people are still the scariest thing in the universe.” [73:45]

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Damian, on skepticism: “Everything is magic until you understand how it works.” [10:12]
• Shane, on the haunted house Reddit story: “You gotta at least go, I have had weird experiences here, but nothing like this… except for the gnome that ran under my bed.” [16:50]
• Damian, on manipulation: “This is what she did when she liked you. Sorry.” [41:36]
• Angela, on boundary-crossing relationships: “She said no. It’s not your body. Go away.” [66:15]
• Angela, reflecting: “Nothing scarier than trauma.” [73:43]
• Shane, summing up: “Turns out that people are still the scariest thing in the universe.” [73:45]

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The Hosts’ Tone & Dynamic

• The episode is marked by irreverent, quick-fire banter blended with genuine concern and skepticism.
• Shayne leads with a grounded, analytical approach but regularly cracks at absurdities.
• Damian relishes punchlines and wordplay but tempers discussions with empathy and cynicism.
• Angela oscillates between comedic interjections and serious, supportive outbursts.

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Quick Reference: Segment Timestamps

• Halloween Banter and Skepticism: [01:00–15:30]
• Haunted Gnome House / Intruder: [04:53–28:38]
• Manipulative Partner / Job Sabotage: [29:40–43:47]
• Brother-in-Law’s Creepy Novel: [44:47–53:12]
• Therapist Overstepping Boundaries: [53:29–61:50]
• Hair-Curling Boyfriend: [64:30–68:36]
• Soul-Thieving Ex: [68:41–74:51]

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In Summary

If you’re seeking a podcast episode that expertly blends horror, humor, internet culture, and hard-won wisdom about the dangers — supernatural or entirely human — that lurk behind closed doors and online, “Readers Beware…” delivers. It’s equal parts terrifying, affirming, and laugh-out-loud funny, with memorable one-liners and sobering takeaways:

“Turns out that people are still the scariest thing in the universe.” [73:45] – Shane

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For more goosebumps, camaraderie, and biting commentary, tune in next Saturday for the following Smosh Reads Reddit Stories.

Transcript

[Narrator]

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[Shane]

Get into this episode, I do want to give a trigger warning. This is the scary episode, which means there are some intense themes and subjects that we are going to talk about. Hello and welcome to Smosh Reads Reddit Stories. I'm Shane, and today is a spooky, scary episode. And I am joined by two people who are spooky and scary. Damian and Angela.

[Angela]

Woo.

[Damian]

Woo.

[Shane]

Oh, my God.

[Damian]

Psych.

[Angela]

That's your thing. Boo.

[Shane]

But Hoya, best holiday ever.

[Angela]

Best holiday ever next to Christmas.

[Damian]

Agreed. What could possibly.

[Angela]

What are you, a Thanksgiving guy?

[Shane]

I'm not a Thanksgiving guy.

[Angela]

I knew he's a Thanksgiving guy.

[Shane]

I'm not a Thanksgiving guy.

[Narrator]

Yes, you are.

[Shane]

I promise you, I'm not a Thanksgiving guy. You're not a Thanksgiving guy.

[Damian]

It's.

[Shane]

Yeah, I'm not a Thanksgiving guy.

[Angela]

What the fuck are you?

[Damian]

What are you?

[Shane]

I'm thinking. Let me think about all the holidays.

[Damian]

Think about it.

[Shane]

What are the other holidays?

[Angela]

Boxing Day.

[Shane]

Boy Barber Day.

[Damian]

Arbor Day.

[Angela]

Watch it.

[Shane]

Does New Year's Eve count?

[Damian]

Yeah, it counts.

[Angela]

But you're a Thanksgiving guy. Look at you.

[Damian]

More than Halloween guys.

[Angela]

You're in cowboy boots. You're Thanksgiving.

[Damian]

That's true. Are those. What are those, Thursdays? No. These are not even.

[Angela]

Jesus.

[Shane]

I don't know.

[Angela]

Okay, Halloween's really fun.

[Shane]

Here's what I like about Halloween. Here's my hot take. Yeah, Halloween. The day. It's always kind of whatever the week, the month is. What's cool. And it's not even because, like, I don't. I have so many friends. I feel like you're one of them who, like, their month is planned out now. I don't feel like you're. It's Damian.

[Angela]

It just seems like you have so many friends. This is one of Them.

[Shane]

I've had so many friends.

[Damian]

I made it. Can't you.

[Angela]

I made it.

[Shane]

I have a lot of friends who I feel like the October is their month. Right. Chance is another one. I feel like, where it's like, oh, yeah, I've got it all planned out. Well, it's gay Christmas by August.

[Angela]

Halloween is gay Christmas.

[Shane]

Yeah. Yeah. But for me, I don't really feel like I do a lot throughout October. Like, I don't. I go to like, maybe one or two parties.

[Damian]

Thanks. So cool.

[Shane]

Compared in LA compared to like a lot of people, that's a very small amount.

[Angela]

Oh, it's a big social partner.

[Shane]

But I have a lot of fun in my own geeky way where like in October I'm just like, well, I'm gonna read scary books and watch scary movies. So I kinda like. I just have a theme for like, what I'm doing all the time.

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Damian]

I think it's just the vibe. Like, I call it like the month of it. I call it pumpkin times.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Damian]

The same way I know the McElroys have candle nights, but I've got pumpkin times.

[Angela]

Nice.

[Damian]

Let's make it a thing. And you know, like, Christmas gets earlier and earlier every year. I'm starting to, you know, when we film this beginning of August, I'm already seeing a bunch of stuff in stores for Halloween and I'm like, good, take it over. Yeah, I need that dopamine. I want the, like, pumpkins everywhere. I want a spiderweb.

[Angela]

Get your pumpkins out. Get your pumpkins.

[Shane]

Get your pumpkins out, dude.

[Damian]

Hey.

[Angela]

Get your pumpkins.

[Damian]

Hey, it's Saturday morning. Reddit's here. Whip out those pumps.

[Shane]

Pumpkin pancakes actually sound pretty good.

[Damian]

I hate them.

[Angela]

I love a pumpkin beer.

[Damian]

So sorry.

[Angela]

A pumpkin ale.

[Shane]

I can do a pumpkin ale occasionally.

[Angela]

Yeah, usually just one. Yeah.

[Damian]

Yeah, usually I don't drink anymore, but whenever I had a pumpkin ale, it sounded so good, but I.

[Shane]

It didn't.

[Damian]

Like, it didn't merge. Sorry. It didn't merge. It was just like. It was an ale and there was some.

[Shane]

I get. I get what you're saying.

[Damian]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Well, are we ready for some scary stories?

[Angela]

Yes.

[Shane]

To get us in the zone.

[Damian]

I hope this. I hope this. I hope this isn't too scary, Shane. Nope.

[Shane]

Well, I have been informed that some of these stories are on the more spooky side of, like, paranormal ghosts, perhaps. And then there are some on the scary side of real life. Scary situations that people end up bad.

[Angela]

Boyfriends.

[Damian]

Public speaking.

[Angela]

Not having healthy communication and boundaries.

[Damian]

Ghosts again. Whoa.

[Shane]

Rule of fours.

[Damian]

Sorry.

[Shane]

Rule of fours.

[Damian]

Gotta do it.

[Shane]

Okay, let's get into it.

[Damian]

Oh, man.

[Shane]

Okay, this first one comes from the paranormal subreddit.

[Damian]

Okay.

[Shane]

I think my house is haunted. I see gnomes and hear voices.

[Angela]

Gnomes.

[Shane]

Context. Southeast of Spain. I have one old French bulldog. All doors are locked. I only have two neighbors, et cetera.

[Damian]

They both wear little hats.

[Shane]

Do you know what gnomes are?

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Okay, just making sure. You turned and you went, gnomes.

[Angela]

Yeah, but I don't want to open this can of worms. But I don't really know what a gnome is, but keep going.

[Damian]

It's. Oh, I feel like that's maybe important.

[Shane]

They work for Travelocity.

[Damian]

It's just like a little guy.

[Angela]

I know. It's just like a little guy. Like a garden gnome and a garden gnome.

[Shane]

Yeah, like that guy with a hat. But I feel like there's probably a monster version of them right? In some parts of the world where it's like, oh, it's just like a evil little creature.

[Damian]

Oh, I see the Keebler elves, and I think those are gnomes. Okay.

[Shane]

They say they're elves.

[Damian]

They say they're elves. But I'm like, yeah, right.

[Shane]

Yeah, but we don't owe them our respect.

[Damian]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Okay. So he has one old French bulldog. All doors are locked. I only have two neighbors, et cetera. I'm laying in bed, scrolling on my phone, and I hear my husband shouting, babe. I look at my clock, knowing it's way too early for him to be home. I open the bedroom door and reply, yeah? Nothing. I assume he didn't hear me. We live in an apartment with weird angles walls. Sometimes it muffles words. I yell my husband's name back. Still nothing. Now I'm weirded out. I call him and I'm half laughing, half panicked and ask him if he's home. He says no. I ask him what he's doing and he says he's driving to the airport. We run a car rental business. I tell him what happened and he assured me I'm home alone. I'm at a loss. I hear him call me so clearly it was like he was looking for me. I've checked the whole house and nobody is home apart from me and our dog, an old friend who can barely walk anymore. I've had other experiences in this house, such as a literal gnome running under our bed. I'm serious. I can't explain it. And it sent shivers all over my body. Okay, yeah, pause. You're like, oh. I heard a voice by the way I have seen a little tiny man run. Run under my bed. By the way, side note, side note. I've seen a tiny little man run.

[Angela]

Back to the voice.

[Shane]

That's the best thing I heard.

[Damian]

It's so clear to know what it is. Like if in your par you see something move, you'll be like, what was that? A mouse? A spider? I should investigate. To say, without a doubt, this was a gnome.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Angela]

Crazy to say periphs.

[Shane]

Perifs.

[Damian]

Peripheral vision takes too long, so I just say, periphs.

[Shane]

Perifs. Update already.

[Damian]

So that was the whole thing when you paused and now there's update story.

[Angela]

I mean, you updated so fast.

[Shane]

Do you have anything to talk about?

[Damian]

She lives in a tree. I don't know.

[Angela]

That was just crazy. I've just never heard you. It just happened so fast.

[Shane]

Yeah, for sure.

[Angela]

Okay.

[Damian]

That was almost a jump scare.

[Angela]

That was the end of it. She was like, okay, I heard a voice.

[Shane]

I heard a voice.

[Angela]

But it doesn't compare to when a gnome ran under my bed.

[Shane]

I guess I need to ask before we get further into these stories, Angela, where do you find yourself on the. When it comes to ghosts or paranormal or things? Like. I'm not asking even if you're a believer or not. How quickly are you, like, when something happens to be a skeptic of it or to be.

[Angela]

Depends on the day. Okay. But I am usually probably right in the middle. Like, I'll be like, are we sure she wasn't tired that day?

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Angela]

But then I'm also like, so a gnome must have lived there before, you know, like, so I kind of buy into it. And you buy into it too, right? Nah.

[Damian]

I mean, I love paranormal stuff. I love the stories. I love the idea of it. I don't personally really believe in pretty much anything at all, but, you know, even close family members have ghost stories of things they went through. And I'm like, I believe them. But then, like, in the back of my mind, I'm like, well, it was the 80s. Maybe they were coked out. Like, I don't know.

[Shane]

You know, that's also fair.

[Angela]

What about you?

[Shane]

I. I kind of. I'm super skeptical. Right. And so people think that I don't believe in anything. My thing is, I believe anything is possible. But because I believe absolutely anything is possible, and I believe there is an infinite amount that we don't know, I need to be skeptical.

[Angela]

Yes.

[Shane]

And tear everything away. So, like, if I see a blur go by, I go, I know that I saw a blur go By I know that I don't know what the fuck just happened.

[Damian]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Where I get skeptical is especially when people go like, oh, I saw a gnome. And I'm like, you're so certain. And I'm like, that's where I'm not skeptical. I'm not skeptical of the world being mysterious and having a lot there. I am skeptical of human perception because it has been proven to be so faulty. You're a fan of true crime. You know that witness testimony is very, like, up in the air because our memory, our perception is tough to trust a lot of times. And so I'm like, I need to be skeptical. I need to be skeptical because I'm skeptical of what I am seeing.

[Angela]

Yes. Yes.

[Shane]

It's not that I don't trust people. I don't trust. Just our brain makes sense sometimes.

[Damian]

I also, like, I think a lot of things can be explained. And like, my dad had a good way of putting it is like, everything is magic until you understand how it works for sure. But, like, I was swiping earlier today and I didn't even look into whether the image was real or not. But, like, you know, sometimes water turns red due to some kind of algae, and it was like a waterfall in Antarctica that was like pure red and.

[Shane]

It looked like blood.

[Damian]

And I thought to myself, like, if I didn't know exactly how that happened and there was not, like, Internet communicating stuff, I would have been like, the falls turned red, and when we killed Jake, that counted as a sacrifice and it stopped being red. You know what I mean? Like, it's so easy to be like, this is probably it, right?

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Look, I mean, we live in a world where we have to be skeptical of, like, AI can create a person who talks and sounds real. And I'm like, we already live in.

[Damian]

Oh, Mr. Beast is really my friend.

[Shane]

Like, we're already living in the sci fi world that we read about as a kid. So I'm like, I have to. I am not saying anything is impossible. I'm just like, I have to be skeptical, literally. But there's mysterious stuff. And look, there's so much undiscovered. There is so much. Once we discover it, once we know what's going on, it changes what that could be. Right.

[Damian]

I'm also the type that I would love to be proven wrong in the same way of being skeptical. If there was some way someone were like, oh, yeah, we found gnomes and we've made contact.

[Shane]

Great.

[Damian]

It's probably not under Bethica's bed. After thousands of years of being undetected.

[Shane]

You know what I mean?

[Angela]

Have you guys seen the Dynasty ghost?

[Shane]

The Dynasty ghost?

[Angela]

I've heard there's a theater we perform at a lot. Dynasty Typewriter. And they have a. A documented ghost sighting. And then I do my podcast there and someone in the comments was like, second ghost sighting at Dynasty. So then I fully was on board. Cause it was the second. Like, if it's a pattern, if that gnome's back, I'm in. Right. But then we looked at it and it looks like a piece of ac. Like AC lit. Weird. But the first one you have, I'll show it to you guys. It's crazy.

[Damian]

Really.

[Shane]

I'm sure. I'm sure. And I'm not doubting you.

[Damian]

None of us are doubting you. We hear you.

[Shane]

But I'm still. I'm skeptical because I believe most people want ghosts to be real. Because we want to prove that there's more. Right? Cause I think to me, there's nothing scarier than them not existing.

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Damian]

Did I ever tell you my really sad ghosts aren't real story? No, it's not sad sad. But I've always loved paranormal stuff. And when I was a little kid, maybe six, five or whatever, went to Disney World for the first time, rode the haunted mansion. And at the very end, you know, they're looking in the mirrors and it says, be careful. You might just take something home with you. And you see in the mirrors, there's like a ghost with you. And my parents were like, hear that? You might take it home with you. Be careful. The moment I get home, first thing I do is run into the bathroom and look in the mirror. And I'm like, it's not working. It's not working. Like, how do I do this? And I like talking to my parents. I'm like, where's the ghost? And they're like, oh, sweetie. It was just in the mirrors on a mansion. But I wanted a ghost friend so bad.

[Angela]

This is why I think I'd be a fucked up mother. I'd be like, look to your left.

[Shane]

You're like.

[Damian]

Like, I gotta kill someone for my kid.

[Angela]

Did you see him? Damien? I'm kidding. I would do that.

[Damian]

Okay, okay.

[Angela]

Update. I need to know.

[Damian]

Sorry, Sorry.

[Angela]

No, you're perfect. What happened?

[Shane]

Okay, update. A year update. I'm selling this house. I've had enough.

[Damian]

Whoa.

[Shane]

So it's a year since everything happened. The snake, the. The gnome, the voices, the snake.

[Angela]

I love this author. She just has, like, a funny way.

[Shane]

And things aren't much better. We have small possessions go missing and turn up in crook and crannies. My underwear and my husband's jewelry often winds up under our living room sofa when they have no reason to be there. It can't be my French bulldog as she's too big to fit under. We also routinely hear whistles slash weird mimicking like sounds. A big one is when I leave the house and my husband reports hearing me moan sexually from upstairs in the guest room. I know, I know. Both weird and creepy, but it's happened multiple times and when he checks it out, there's obviously nothing. Same with when I hear a man whistling when it's just me home with my old dog. We are trying to sell this house and buy a new one. It's not been easy because we've had some especially religious families come and view it only to feel weird or some outright tell me I need to have it blessed. I'm not religious, part of any religious groups or a church. I'm also scared to mess with anything in here.

[Damian]

Whoa.

[Angela]

Done.

[Damian]

I wish you would have gone.

[Shane]

I gave you the update way too soon and now you want it immediately.

[Damian]

Well, both of these ended like. It was just.

[Shane]

I know, I know. These end on just like. And I don't know.

[Angela]

Do you think the moan was the gnome?

[Shane]

We have gnomes that are fucking.

[Damian]

Oh, no, she has. Fuck gnomes.

[Shane]

Fuck gnomes.

[Damian]

Oh, no.

[Shane]

Bone gnomes.

[Damian]

Bone gnomes.

[Angela]

The gnomes are boning.

[Shane]

They're little hats. Damn.

[Angela]

God, this is weird. The whistling, the moaning.

[Shane]

Look. And here's where I'm at. Like I said, I'm skeptical. I'd be like, I don't know what's going on, but I don't want to be here. And I also, on her note of like, you need a blessed place. I'm like, I don't want to mess with anything. I just want to get out of here.

[Damian]

You got to shake that hornet's nest to get them all out. Well, I don't know about that.

[Shane]

You got to punch it. Show them who's boss.

[Angela]

I might just get in my car and go home.

[Shane]

Yeah. Um.

[Damian]

Oof.

[Shane]

Well, there is another update.

[Damian]

Well, thank you. So I saw that whole thing. He made you feel bad about that.

[Shane]

Yay. Woke up to a sink of warm soapy water. What gives? Okay, as the title suggests, my husband, who's 25, and I 24, are asleep. It's currently. It's currently 12:55am As I type this, I wake up to get a drink of water and the washing up bowl is Full of warm, soapy water. Wake up my husband, he is just as confused. The pots are from earlier and all dry. We live alone and I always leave my bowl slash sink empty due to flies. What the fuck? I've never experienced this before. I have had weird experiences here, but nothing like this. Sorry. Stop, stop. Your. Your sink fills with soapy water and you go, I've never seen anything like this. A gnome rain under your bed. I like, come on, stay consistent with us, please.

[Angela]

I've never seen you sit up on her in this.

[Shane]

No, I'm just like, you gotta at least go. I have had weird experiences here, but nothing like this.

[Angela]

Except for the gnome that ran.

[Damian]

Except for the grin that ran under my bed. I like this, though. It makes me believe that she believes it. Because so many of these Reddit stories were like, what happened last night? I have to tell you, it all began on Thursday. You're like, okay, this is too written. You're full of shit. Like, at the very least, I think she believes this is happening, which is.

[Angela]

Yeah, listen, this may be in poor taste, but do you think the gnomes boned and moaned too hard? Bowl of soapy water.

[Shane]

Bowl of soapy water. I. Okay, this is one where disgusting. Angela, I gotta be completely honest.

[Damian]

I thought. I meant they were just cleaning up. No, no, come.

[Shane]

Unfortunately, I am skeptical of this lady's judgment a little bit. Yeah, yeah. Because a sink being full of water is actually an extremely normal thing. Am I wrong?

[Angela]

Okay, I see a sink full of water that didn't have water in before, and I have chills.

[Damian]

Did you play?

[Shane]

Really? You don't think, like, the water could have come up from the tub?

[Angela]

Oh, it could have come up.

[Shane]

Or like, just your sink? I. One time I had a crazy one happen. I came home and now I lived in a, like the fourth story of a apartment building. And I came home one time, and there was just perfectly a puddle in the middle of, like, my kitchen area, like a couple feet from the sink. Perfectly just in the middle. And then. But the sink was empty. And I was like, where did this puddle of clear water come from? And then I noticed there was water around the edge of the sink. And I deduced. And we had had there's plumbing issues. I deduced that. I was like, wow. Cause I'd been gone all day. The water had overflowed onto the ground and then gone down. And then because, like, the sun hit my, like, yeah, it dried off over there. Had evaporated enough.

[Damian]

Wow.

[Shane]

That was my assumption. Now, ultimately, I don't know now. I've also told stories on here. Like, I'm like, I have been in an apartment by myself and just a full on yell happened just in the apartment that sounded like it was inside. And it went on for a while and I was like, was it.

[Angela]

Was it inside?

[Shane]

And it was actually. It was actually me. You look in the mirror in the house, you screaming? And then I was like, I looked in the mirror and I saw that.

[Damian]

I was just like, ah, I solved it. That's horrifying.

[Shane]

But I have no idea. I just don't know.

[Damian]

Yeah, I think they live in an area with weird trees.

[Shane]

Hear me out.

[Damian]

I've also had plumbing issues before because trees have grown into pipes. That's how my neighbor's doo doo ended up in my shower, which was very scary.

[Angela]

I.

[Shane]

Your neighbor shit in your.

[Damian]

No, he promises. It was rude. And you know, like, trees rubbing up against windows can sound like, I'm your husband.

[Angela]

I'm your husband.

[Shane]

Yeah, maybe.

[Angela]

Weird trees.

[Shane]

So they live in Spain, which means there could be some very old architecture.

[Damian]

Southeast Barcelona trees.

[Shane]

It's always, look, here's part of also my skepticism. It's always really old buildings. It's like, yeah, it's old. Cause like, yeah, there's people that live there. I'm like, it's also old, which means the infrastructure of it's bad and it's kind of shitty. Like, things are falling apart.

[Damian]

The pipes are crazy.

[Shane]

Yeah. Like, there's a lot going on that we don't see. There's rats in the walls. There's also. I will say this does happen where people live in people's places and don't know about actual. Guess I was thinking here's the sink.

[Damian]

Well, sorry, you can't just show a sink of water and be like, here's proof.

[Shane]

Like, that's so the tub is filled with water, but the sink around it is not. But I don't know.

[Damian]

Right.

[Shane]

But that's also. So it didn't come up from the pipes, it didn't come up from beneath it. It's in that tub. But I get what you're saying where it's just like, all right, person on the Internet, I trust you.

[Damian]

Yeah.

[Shane]

And that's the tough thing with the Internet. That's why, like, no matter what you read, you kind of have to always have that lens of someone could be lying. We see that with any Reddit story, right? Where it's like, oh, hey, my girlfriend's being really shitty. And then you get the girlfriend commenting being like, do you want to tell them the actual story?

[Angela]

Yeah, yeah. Are the comments like begging for more gnome stuff?

[Shane]

So what is the poll? Huh?

[Angela]

Cause I'm like, what happened?

[Shane]

So top comment, frogging with a ph. Frogging is when someone secretly lives in another person's home without their knowledge.

[Damian]

I think that could be true.

[Shane]

And there's been a lot of proven cases of it to like, shocking degrees. Not to terrify you.

[Angela]

What's it.

[Shane]

So there was like a story, there was like a video of like this apartment. And truly someone was living in a high up cupboard.

[Damian]

And it's like, people, there's a high cupboard situation. There's also a famous story where it was a crawl space of an attic where they were just sort of off to the side. And there was a happy ending one where it was like, once the lady found out, she actually let him stay there for. And they kissed. It was a Hallmark movie. It was called Dirty Stinky Addict Man. No, she let him stay there for a week or two until it was like he was able to get back on his feet. But yeah, no, I think it's a possibility.

[Shane]

We don't know.

[Damian]

And if he's tiny and has a.

[Shane]

Little hat and if he's. Hey. Someone said if you have an attic or crawl space, you might want to check them. Op said, we have no attic or basement and we live in a two bedroom apartment. We have checked the rooms and nothing. Checked the locks just to be sure. We do have a few crawl spaces, but too much furniture to check. Lastly, someone said, carbon monoxide. And Opie said, we've checked. All clear.

[Damian]

We're good. No, the detector's not going off. They're like, madam, that's a banana.

[Angela]

This is freaky.

[Shane]

Do we have carbon monoxide? A whole ghost is like, no, we're good. She's lying to you. We're good.

[Angela]

You're overreacting.

[Shane]

All right, update number three.

[Damian]

There we go.

[Angela]

Let's go.

[Shane]

Hi, everyone. Sorry I didn't update sooner. I have.

[Angela]

Hi, everyone. It's me, the gnome.

[Damian]

Sorry I didn't update sooner. It takes me so long to get to the individual keys.

[Angela]

I found our peace post.

[Shane]

I'm the Ray Romano gnome. Ray Romanome.

[Damian]

Nice, nice, nice. Eric.

[Angela]

Someone write their hat down.

[Shane]

Hi, everyone. Sorry I didn't update sooner. I had a lot of abusive messages which made me not want to post anymore. But I also know there are people here genuinely curious and supportive to answer common questions. I have checked the monoxide detector twice and even replaced it. We are safe. And that is not it. We also have no dishwasher. We don't take sleeping pills or any drugs. As I stated a couple days ago, we searched our flat and my husband's parents adjoining house with some friends. Here's the weird part. Sorry. Okay.

[Damian]

Yep.

[Shane]

Husband's parents, adjoining house with some friends. So the parents and some friends live in the adjoining house.

[Damian]

Okay.

[Angela]

Okay.

[Shane]

I just throwing it out there. Here's the weird part. Our area is clear as expected. We don't have an attic or basement. But we also searched the house connected while his parents are away in the UK for a while. Turns out the upstairs loft had an old mattress which looked used despite being left as a spare. Bottles of what looks like pee and some empty wrappers, et cetera. Nobody was up there, but we alerted police who came to check it out. They helped us call a locksmith and searched the house completely and our apartment and found nothing. We hope whoever it was isn't able to come back. I think this will be my last update unless there's some more updates or if the person returns. Sorry, this person. I love this person. So there's not gonna be any more updates unless there's some updates. And we're like, you got it, dude. You got it, man. That's literally the sentence. I think this will be my last update unless there's some more updates.

[Damian]

That explains everything. But also like, except for the gnome, where she's like, well, some of the consequences of this, like, is it that common where people are like, yeah, you have gnomes. But like, what was this about someone.

[Shane]

Yelling, dave, you got gnomes. But what's all this other stuff?

[Angela]

Yeah, it's like, my husband and I, we don't do drugs. Except the one night we saw the gnome.

[Damian]

Yeah, we don't do drugs. Just salvia. And it's.

[Angela]

And just that one night we saw that gnome anyway, and guess what? Number four. So she had an update. So she updated.

[Damian]

James, you're killing me.

[Angela]

It's almost like she said she'd do it and she did it.

[Damian]

Okay.

[Shane]

Our friend sent us a few pictures from the loft, the mattress, which used to be new, a few trash bags and empty cans, as well as what turned out to be woman's underwear that thankfully wasn't mine, men's clothes, which aren't my husband's, and a couple used condoms, which is unsettling. We are guessing it's probably a male pervert who has a thing for underwear and watching, which is the worst outcome. I doubt I'll have any other updates after this one. Fingers crossed this keeps whoever it was out. But police have said if we see anyone loitering or in the house apartment again, to call. And they will be arrested, thankfully. Thanks again, everyone.

[Damian]

That is horrifying.

[Shane]

All right, so that's. That is actually the worst. A gnome. We would have loved a gnome.

[Angela]

Yeah, I would have loved a family of gnomes.

[Damian]

Unless they were also perverts.

[Shane]

All right, so everything effectively was explained.

[Angela]

Everything makes sense. And I feel like you never get this.

[Shane]

That's the gnome, that snake, that snake and snake and snake and snake.

[Damian]

She like.

[Shane]

It was like, oh, yeah, also the snake. It's like, you did not tell us about.

[Damian]

Well, that one's not paranormal. That's just like, uh.

[Shane]

Oh. Oh, yeah, you got a snake.

[Damian]

Not like there hasn't got snakes here in a thousand years.

[Angela]

The moaning makes sense. The jewelry, all it all underwear. It all makes sense. Except the gnome.

[Shane]

I feel really bad. Cause this sounds like a horrible, horrifying situation. Yeah.

[Damian]

I do think that the police gave her the equivalent of what she did to us at the end of last story. Like, no updates unless there are updates. And the police are like, well, if the guy intrudes again, isn't a pervert in your house, you can call us and then we'll handle it.

[Angela]

It's like, yeah, I mean, what can you do? You could just be like, all right, well, we looked and if start a.

[Damian]

Manhunt for a pervert, just start like clinking two underwears together and see if.

[Shane]

Have underwear underneath a big box with a stick.

[Damian]

Yeah.

[Shane]

And when he goes under there, you pull the stick and then boom.

[Damian]

And then he goes duck season fire. And then you shoot and his beak is backwards.

[Shane]

All right, we're getting a picture of the snake.

[Angela]

I don't want pictures of the sink. I don't want pictures of the snake. I don't want pictures of the underwear or the mattress.

[Shane]

I want to see the gnome, the bottles of piss.

[Damian]

Yeah, well, go back.

[Shane]

Wait, slow down. Oh, okay. A snake at the bottom. My creepy house is playing with me. A snake at the bottom of the stairs. And then there's a snake at the bottom of the stairs. But that's a snake. Like, snakes exist.

[Damian]

Well, we know they will.

[Shane]

They will go into your house.

[Angela]

Snakes exist and gnomes don't.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Damian]

What's he planning on doing? He doesn't have legs for the stairs.

[Angela]

Is this the first story?

[Shane]

I'm not.

[Narrator]

We ha.

[Damian]

It's been like a half hour.

[Shane]

I'm not gonna read a snake 30 minutes.

[Damian]

I don't know.

[Shane]

Should I read this? I'm using the hairdryer. And I hear what sounded like my husband again. This time I heard him say philly Goose, my nickname, in a high pitched sing, songy voice. He does this very often and I felt relief. I open the bathroom door and I shout, thank God. I've been really on edge. No response, Nothing. And then after all that, she goes down to the bottom of the stairs and there's a snake at the bottom. I feel like, once again, it sounds like this guy who was potentially living up there was like a creep.

[Angela]

Is this like a whole bit? Are you guys doing a never ending, really scary story that's not gonna stop until the end?

[Damian]

No, no.

[Angela]

Cause I'm starting to get a little freaked.

[Shane]

No. No update. No.

[Angela]

Like, we're on like seven updates.

[Shane]

All right. But we didn't know we had that one. Okay, we're done. We're done. That's where it was left off. A bunch of creepy stuff happened. They found proof that a guy was living in the. What? You can't just do that.

[Damian]

You can't just do that. I was like, no, no, it always works with Amanda.

[Angela]

You can't just do that.

[Damian]

I feel so bad in haunted houses because I love scary stuff, but I'm not easily scared. So usually now we all have masks, but usually I'm just smiling and they're like, rah. I'm like, I'm just having a great time. Yeah.

[Angela]

That was so funny. I tried to scare you. You can't just do that.

[Shane]

Sorry.

[Damian]

No, you can't just see that.

[Angela]

Next story.

[Shane]

Let's move on to our next story so Angela can stop freaking out.

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Damian]

It's all okay.

[Shane]

Our next story.

[Angela]

There was another snake.

[Shane]

Our next story. I have gnomes in my house. No, I'm just kidding.

[Angela]

No, like, literally, I'm actually mad about it.

[Shane]

We should do that to Amanda the second she's back.

[Angela]

Yes.

[Shane]

And you're in the episode.

[Angela]

Yes.

[Damian]

That's fine.

[Angela]

And then we'll just keep going.

[Damian]

Yeah. Sounds like a great time, Shane. Have fun.

[Shane]

All right. Okay. This one comes from the subreddit advice. And it came From September of 2020, I think. My girlfriend has been trying to get me fired from all my jobs. I'm shaken. Please help me. I'm a 24 year old man and I've been with my girlfriend, let's call her Janice. She's 29 for two and a half years. I just finished my education where we started dating, and I have been doing all sorts of jobs. Since sometimes two at a time. I did this to expand my resume and gather job experience. I worked in cafes, bookstores, a library, a grocery store, and as an English tutor. Most of those jobs lasted about three to five months. My shortest stay was two and a half weeks, my longest eight months. But since I didn't have a hard time applying for new positions, I tried to block it out though it was kind of eating me up internally. People called to complain about me, people left bad reviews about me, people used my employee wi fi access to look up sketchy things on the Internet under my name or former employees called to inform them about me. Right name and all and much much more subtle stuff that I couldn't disprove, but I was too anxious to do anything about it. I just told my girlfriend. She comforted me, she supported me. Every time I got my life ruined by these people. But I kept going though. They kept finding me. Fast forward to this week. I currently hold a part time position at a bakery. I've been working there for two months and a half. It's going okay, but my manager approached me about something regarding our Google reviews. Someone was complaining about an employee and their description of them could only really fit me. It was on a day where we were pretty short of staff, so I could have been the only person in the store on that day for all I know. Anyway, their review contained some pretty elaborate and nasty comments about me. This has happened on one or two of my jobs already. I told my manager that it was all pretty bogus and that someone had a vendetta against me as it has happened before. She believed me and told me that she'll dismiss the comment on my break. I checked out the review myself. Their username was kind of stupid. I'm not going to type it out here since I still work there, but I'll just call them McMurdle as it was in the same range of sounds. Kind of fake, but not really. Anyway, I come home but don't tell Janice about it. She had heard it all before so I didn't see the point in complaining about another time I almost lost my position. We chat, all is well and she leaves the room. Her phone is on the table and suddenly she gets a notification or an email of some sort from Google. I don't remember what it said exactly, but the pop up read something along the lines of McMurdle manager has responded to your review. My heart dropped. I've been trying to ignore it since this was two days ago. It just fits in the picture of bad Reviews. It fits in the picture of the phone complaints my workplaces have received about me in the past. It fits in the picture of all the sketchy things I've been fired for. Why would she do that, though? I'm looking for an explanation. This literally can't be. She's the only thing keeping me sane. I don't know what to do.

[Damian]

Whoa, that freaks me out.

[Angela]

I'm, like, almost lost at this.

[Shane]

Because, yeah, it's. It's just like, she's just doing this to him.

[Damian]

I've seen a fair amount of, like, that category of thing where, like, someone can like the idea of, like, wow, so one person's just gonna take it upon themselves to, like, ruin your life. It's like, yup. Sometimes people can be like that.

[Angela]

But they're still dating.

[Shane]

They're still dating. And she still comforts them.

[Damian]

Well, it's only a couple days since that since he saw that. And so he's fighting for something.

[Angela]

But I mean, like, it wasn't a bad ex or anything.

[Shane]

It's like, no, she's there together, and he's like, talking about her like, oh, she comforts me. She's there for me. Like, this is all great, but to be honest, this almost sounds like. And this is not a real sort of like, diagnosis or anything. It reminds me of, like, Munchausen's by proxy type of vibes it does, where it's like, she's harming him to put him in a vulnerable position where she's then there to comfort him.

[Damian]

She's also five years his senior, so like, it could just be like, he just finished school and maybe it's like, oh, he doesn't need you anymore. Well, yes, you do, baby. Don't worry.

[Shane]

Like, I'll. That's. Now we're not psychologists. Like, that is. I am, but I'm just like, yeah, but I'm just like, that reminds me of what I hear about with those things. But it also reminds me of a Reddit story that I don't know if we've read on here, of a woman who found out her boyfriend, who is the sweetest guy, she's like, he's so sweet. He's so great. She's like, but I found out that he on Reddit just goes on subreddits and just says horrible shit to women. Like, leaves horrible comments to women. And I'm like, think about this. How often in real life do you meet people that are just. That seem great, but you then go online, you see all these horrible comments and you're like, who is leaving these comments? Are they like that in real life?

[Angela]

Are they amongst us?

[Shane]

Honestly, it's a terrifying aspect of the Internet. Right. Is that all of us are a little different when we go onto anonymous forums and can type whatever. So, like, what are people doing? It's an awful thing to consider, but it's why trust is so important. But this takes it to another level.

[Damian]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Of like, betrayal. You're doing it to me.

[Damian]

Yeah.

[Shane]

But it's a full thing that people can get away with and do.

[Damian]

The Internet is such a scary thing. Like, there's so much beauty that comes from the Internet, like, people connecting, etc. But so much power lies in the hand of, like, every individual that, like, even if 1 out of 10,000 people is crazy and vindictive and mean, it's like that one person can have so much of an effect on your life.

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Damian]

And it's.

[Shane]

It's. Once again, it goes towards the, like, being skeptical of what you read on the Internet because you don't know who's posting it, you don't know who's saying it. And it's so scary that one person can get someone fired from that many jobs.

[Angela]

One person could create life on multiple levels and come at you on all sides. That's what's scary about this is like, the multiple usernames.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Angela]

I remember I took a class at ucla and it was like some type of psychology class or something, and it was all based in, like. And this was like, in 2017, 2015, like, and I can't imagine taking something like this now, but it was like a. It was a class where we got on Second Life.

[Shane]

It was like, yeah, yeah.

[Angela]

And then we, like. Yeah. And we. And she had us, like, be as different as we could and then kind of as far as we can go there and then write about the idea that we had a separate life. And, like, what that made me think and the safety I felt being able to do whatever I wanted with no one knowing that was me.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Angela]

Right. And it was like, it was just bare. I mean, it wasn't even that developed of a game, I guess, at the time. But like, that and just talking about, like, how no one knew that was me and what that did to my brain and, like.

[Shane]

No, I mean, here's the thing. The Internet as we know it has developed so fast, so powerfully in the past. I mean, five years every year. Psychologists. Our understanding of what it's doing to us is not keeping up. We'll know in, like, 50 years, what it's doing to us. But we're always gonna find out after the fact, right? And now we have AI talking to us all the time. We have no idea what that's doing to people. But, like, this is an aspect. And anonymity does so much to a person. Truly, like, it does so much to a person, and it's very scary. And clearly she has the ability to just invisibly.

[Angela]

I mean, honestly. And these are stories, though, that go back. Like, think about. This is so lame. But I'm thinking Cyrano Bhatriak. I'm thinking, like, disguises, like in old stories too, where it's like, I wanna become another person. I wanna create life that's different than my own. And I wanna manipul other people using my pen.

[Shane]

It's like I can control people. I can control his life.

[Angela]

My gosh, I never thought about, like, all those Shakespeare plays. It's like the original. Catfishing.

[Shane]

Yeah, yeah.

[Damian]

Midsummer Night's Dream is basically like gaslighting.

[Angela]

Catfishing. Yeah. Like violent.

[Shane]

Shakespeare was like, this is Gonna hit in 500 years. All right, comments, please. For the love of God, do not stay with that woman. She is sick. Who the hell does that to someone they love? Someone replied to that saying, it's like that girl who was putting nicotine patches on her partner every night so when she left, he would be chemically dependent on her and start going through withdrawal. Did not hear that one.

[Damian]

Yeah, it's like that one time.

[Shane]

Yeah, it's like that one time with the gnome. Someone said, this is extreme manipulation and abuse. I feel sick to my stomach thinking about you having gone through this for years, losing job after job and being devastated and confused. The worst is you confiding in her and her knowing exactly what she did to you. I really don't understand how anyone can do this to someone they love. Please, Op, for your sake, you need to leave this relationship. Lastly, someone said, Op, this vile McMurdle is the real version of your girlfriend. The version you love is a fantasy image she used to trap you. Yeah, this is one of those where it's like, I don't think you're gonna be able to understand what's going on. Yeah, you can't update oh, gnomes. Hello, people who are still invested. I'm sorry for not updating you guys earlier. A lot has been going on. First of all, yes, we broke up. That's why I'll be referring to her as my ex from now on. Anyway, let's start from the beginning. On the Monday of the following week, I couldn't take the uncertainty anymore. I told my ex I needed her booking account to book a train ticket to visit my dad for a few days. She complied, and when she was in the shower getting ready for work, I booked my ticket and started looking through her emails.

[Narrator]

I.

[Shane]

After some digging, I found an email to herself which contained a spreadsheet file. I sent the file to myself, printed it out, and took a screenshot. Why? The spreadsheet contained about every single information about me that there was numbers, emails, passwords, work times, colleagues, their numbers, and social medias, as well as some emails and passwords that she used for accounts to ruin my life with. Everything was on there conveniently sorted for her to ruin my life as efficiently as possible. When she left for work, I decided it would be best to immediately pack my stuff. Nothing that mattered would be left behind. I felt like a wanted man, like I was being hunted. Despite not being seemingly out of place, I called my boss, told her I would be taking some time off from work and headed out to see my dad. Needless to say, he was the sanity I needed. I cried about everything I saw. I panicked for a whole two days straight about how my life was ruined and I didn't know what to do. He had to sleep on the couch in the guest room because I was so scared of my ex coming out. He handled it like a champ. I love you, dad. He called the police, a lawyer, and most recently a therapist for me because I was in the most horrible state of my entire life. We're currently sorting out the legal stuff. I haven't talked to my ex except for letting her know it was over and that she's a sick psychopath. My dad handled the rest. I changed all my passwords and now I'm looking for a new place to live. And that's the last. That's the last update.

[Angela]

Police lawyer therapy. Repeat. Police lawyer therapy. Repeat.

[Shane]

Yeah, call the Avengers on your ex.

[Damian]

I, like, I don't know. I'm sure all of us have experienced levels of like, breaches of trust that sort of shake you for a while. I don't know how you process that.

[Shane]

Yeah, yeah. This makes cheating look like nothing. Like I'm like, oh, dude, why couldn't you just sleep with someone else? Like, God damn, I'm scared for this person.

[Angela]

You're terrified. And not just op. I mean, I'm scared for that. This like, this person is cuz that's behavior that.

[Shane]

That. That doesn't stop.

[Damian]

No, they're not like, lesson Learned.

[Shane]

No, it's. It's one of those where it's like, do everything you can. Cuz this person needs to be like something needs to happen.

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Damian]

And it's not even that, like this could follow specifically him for years.

[Shane]

I.

[Damian]

It could.

[Shane]

That. That's where my head's at. Where I'm like, I'd be more scared of you being my ex. Like you need to be my ex. But I'm now terrified forever. Yeah.

[Damian]

This is what she did when she liked you. Sorry.

[Narrator]

Yeah.

[Angela]

No, no, no. It's like one of those types of extreme abuse that it's gonna get worse when you stop it.

[Damian]

Yeah.

[Angela]

And a lot of people are like, all they can do is rely on loved ones. Thank God OP had their dad.

[Damian]

Yeah.

[Angela]

Like you just need people around you and that's just so. It's so hard and horrifying. I can't imagine.

[Shane]

I would probably do the same thing as him. I think. No. This is such a unique position situation. Right. I've never heard of anything like this. But what I've also heard the advice given in situations where it's like, you need to get out is like before they know that you're getting out, get everything in order. And so if I was his friend and he told me about this, I'd be like, change all your passwords, change all your information and then clean sweep, get out.

[Angela]

No, I mean that's a lot of abusive relationships.

[Shane]

That is like the best advice that I would have given him. But also at the same time, you have to get out. And even if it's worse when you get out, it's like, you have to like, if you stay, you know what's gonna happen.

[Damian]

Well, isn't that kind of what he did? He was like, I'm gonna book a train ticket to see my dad. And then he's like, I got there and changed all my passwords.

[Shane]

I think he basically did that. Yes, he did effectively do that. And I think it worked out. Cause she didn't know that he was. So I think that is effectively what he did.

[Angela]

It's kind of just. But it's about the point where it's like an abuser at this level is going to get set off so bad when you catch them.

[Damian]

Yes.

[Angela]

And they're gonna double down or come in in another way. And it's like, you gotta protect yourself.

[Shane]

Yeah. And fortunately they're not married. Right. Cause I know people say that about like, get the, like get yourself together. Get the papers together first. And then let them know because but this is so unique and it's like terrifying. Cause she is smart. She had a whole spreadsheet with all the information. I mean, what an awful. I would rather have every ghost.

[Damian]

I was about to say, like, I wish this was ghosts.

[Shane]

I'll take ghosts every time.

[Damian]

Yep.

[Angela]

See, I don't know if I could.

[Shane]

I will take ghosts every time.

[Damian]

Ghosts can't use Excel, so you'd be unclear.

[Shane]

Ghosts can't make spreadsheets. I've never heard of a haunted spreadsheet.

[Angela]

But I can block a person. I can't block a ghost.

[Shane]

I'm gonna be real honest. I would be skeptical if I can block this person. This person seems terrifying.

[Angela]

No, you're so right.

[Shane]

I hope it's been five years. I hope this person's doing well. I hope their ex is. I hope their ex has faced repercussions. I hope their ex or has miraculously learned to be a better person. Yeah, died or died. This next one comes from Am I the asshole? Would I be the asshole for telling my sister about her husband's creepy AF novel about me? My sister, four years younger than me, and her husband have been married for two years, together for five. Brother in law and I dated during high school and it ended under circumstances that were not ideal. Brother in law and I have not gotten along since he and sister got together. My sister essentially believes I'm jealous of her for marrying my one who got away. He is not that, so our relationship has also suffered as a result. This whole situation is already fucked up, and yes, I'm pretty sure it's putting my therapist's kid through college, but that's not the problem right now. Recently, Brother in law has begun reaching out to me more frequently. I've been very cautious, but after talking it over with people in my own life, chose to be more friendly toward him as part of an attempt at repairing certain aspects of my relationship with the entire family. Last week, Brother in Law asked if I would read a book he had written with the underlying implication that I would help him career wise with his aspirations as a writer. Out of politeness and curiosity, I said sure, thinking I would perhaps get a good laugh out of it and a story to tell my publishing friends. The book is about us. I don't know how else to put it. It's a domestic thriller, so think Gone Girl, you, et cetera, about a man who realizes he has married the wrong sister and becomes obsessed with his sister in law. Sugar water.

[Angela]

Sorry.

[Shane]

It's one of the weirdest things I have ever Seen. It doesn't exactly read like a manifesto. More like something you'd see on Are Men Writing Women. But aspects of the story were deeply unsettling to me personally, touching on things that happened to me in high school and later. And I don't understand why he would give this to me to read unless he wanted to either creep me out, or, as in the story, he intends to leave my sister and wanted to see if this would.

[Damian]

Ow.

[Shane]

Jesus. It's too weird to say, open a door with me. I'm the scatman.

[Damian]

Yeah. I was like.

[Shane]

I can't explain it.

[Angela]

But I'm so uncomfortable. I have to scat.

[Damian]

The Angela Giratona story. They said she couldn't jazz, but she just had to.

[Angela]

This man makes me scat.

[Damian]

Well, keep going. Don't say it like that.

[Angela]

That's the end of the clip. Nice, perfect button.

[Shane]

Here's how I'm conflicted. People have always used art as a form of cathartic healing. If a stranger handed me this book, I would just say, not my taste, and move on. That said, this is my sister's husband, and I found certain elements so skin crawlingly uncomfortable that I almost didn't finish it. That also said, this is my sister's husband, and I am afraid, based on the past, that if I tell her about this, she will flip out on me and not him. And. Or if she confronts him, will he also just lie about the whole thing? And on the off chance that it's more than just tasteless catharsis? I don't want my sister to get turned into a skin suit. There are no skin suits, but you get it. And if it is just a fictional fantasy thriller, I'll either look like a paranoid asshole or the lawmakers who tried to ban video games after Columbine.

[Damian]

I don't say this ever, so it's not even in my vocabulary. But when she was like, here's when I'm conflicted, I almost went, honey, like, it just. Cause. Come on.

[Shane]

Yeah, I. No, there's no like, oh, well, I'm conflicted here. It's like, no, this is wild as a girl.

[Angela]

I mean, I don't. I don't blame OP for not really fully being grounded in a response. Because this is so.

[Shane]

Because you're not expecting this. Same with the previous story.

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Shane]

These are situations that you don't expect to happen to you.

[Angela]

Right. And you don't expect your brain to have a logical and safe response to something this scary.

[Damian]

You're also probably kind of hoping that someone in the comments is like, oh, no, this is actually totally normal. Don't worry about it. In a weird way, I'm.

[Angela]

You're like hoping.

[Shane]

Yeah, because once again, similar to Reddit stories where someone writes out something. Cause like, getting your thoughts out, getting your fantasies out, getting all these things into a diary setting where you write it all out and then you read it and you go, oh, right, this is irrational. Oh, right, this is stupid. Yeah, but he wrote a book about all of this and then was like, I want you to read this.

[Angela]

I.

[Shane]

You know how much work goes into a book like this is too calculated, too much time has gone by. This is a dead serious situation.

[Angela]

And what sucks about this is that her sister's collateral damage here, right? And she's worried about their relationship.

[Damian]

That's true.

[Shane]

And honestly, if her sister doesn't have her back here, she cannot then just.

[Angela]

Go, but get out. Do that.

[Shane]

You gotta give her sister the book and go, you can read this. If you don't think this is as serious as I do, then you don't have to talk to me.

[Damian]

You can't make that decision for her. You gotta give her the tools to.

[Angela]

Be like, I'm showing you this book not because I'm jealous or in love with your husband. I'm showing this book because it's the other way around. It's the pure, and I'm getting away no matter what. And if you don't believe me, I can't stop you.

[Shane]

Yeah, from, I don't know, some comments here. I don't have a judgment here, but have you thought about asking him if your sister has read it and. Or asking her OP says, he says she hasn't read it, but I could potentially ask her in an innocuous way in order to broach the subject. Someone said, not the asshole. I would handle it differently though. Find a way to meet them when they are together and then tell him you really liked the book. Then ask her if she has read any of it. She will obviously say no. Then tell the story in the most optimistic way possible. Try to get the fuck out before someone gets emotional. Good luck. This shit is weird as hell. I don't think that's. I don't know if I'm taking that advice.

[Damian]

That's very Reddit. Like, I stood up and everyone's like.

[Shane]

Don'T say you liked it. To him, like, don't say you liked it. That's not true. Someone said, I think it would fall under not the asshole, but your relationship with your sister is already Strained. If you are serious about trying to salvage your relationship with her, I would keep this bomb away from her. Comedy option.

[Angela]

Read it. Read it.

[Shane]

A silly one for mom. A silly option. Casually mention. Oh, I saw brother in law's manuscript. Had he gotten any offers for it? Okay. OP said, I'm 50% leaning towards your serious option and 50% leaning in the direction of. If she finds this on his laptop, email, and then finds out I knew about it, she will be rightfully infuriated. A bomb is right. I don't know, man. Like, he. It's his fault.

[Damian]

Yeah.

[Shane]

He's the bad guy.

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Shane]

And I'm sorry that your sister's on her side, despite the clear, obvious warning signs that were there since high school.

[Damian]

That's the other thing too. With the high school. She didn't get into specifics. And it's none of our business, but the way she made it sound, she was like, it did not end on good terms. We are not friendly, and it's like we don't know what happened. And if she even has felt safe this whole time.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Damian]

Like, this is creepy no matter what, but she needs to be safe.

[Shane]

Yes.

[Damian]

If the sister doesn't believe it, I hope that's salvageable.

[Angela]

But damn, I feel bad for the sister too.

[Shane]

I do, too. I know that's gotta be an awful situation. And. And it's awful in relationships to, like, hear someone else say, yeah, your partner's awful. And to be like, you don't wanna believe that.

[Angela]

All you want is angry at that it's being brought to you and just kind of killing the messenger because you hate the message so much, and that sucks.

[Shane]

Right?

[Damian]

And you look back and you're like, aw, sorry.

[Shane]

Especially something so egregious as, like, oh, they wrote a book about me sexually. It's like, no, I can't handle that. I can't handle that my partner did that.

[Angela]

And I almost humanize the sister getting angry. I know it's not right, but, yeah, the other sisters, a whole book is about her. But I'm starting to think I would even believe that her sister's marriage is all. Not real. You know what I mean? Or like, all and that. Like, what a bomb for both of them. Like, that her whole life is. Yeah. I don't know. Oof.

[Damian]

You're right. There's so many layers of it. Because, like, when it's something that big, you don't necessarily know where to stop. Where it's like, oh, man, what a betrayal. And it's like, what if it Goes this much deeper.

[Angela]

Yeah, it's like, you gotta. And I'm not trying to, like, measure the pain, but like the book versus, like, this is her husband.

[Damian]

Yeah. Yes.

[Angela]

Like, this is gonna turn her upside down.

[Shane]

Oof.

[Damian]

Oof is right.

[Shane]

There's no more updates on that one.

[Angela]

Because, like, our girl said a couple ops before. No update. Because there isn't an update. Yeah, I'll update when I have an update.

[Shane]

Yeah. Seriously, I hope they're okay.

[Angela]

Me too.

[Shane]

Man, that sucks. Spooky, scary skeletons. Am I overreacting for thinking my psychiatrist asking to move in with me is inappropriate?

[Damian]

Buddy, no. No, you're not.

[Shane]

So last week, I had an appointment with my psychiatrist, and I had disclosed to her that my husband and I were buying a house. She asked for details of the house and when we were closing, so I told her. She then replied with, that's perfect. I just need one bedroom and a kitchen. I like to cook. Of course, at first I thought she was joking, but then she went on. She goes, I told my landlord I am moving out of my current place because the commute is too far and I am looking for something closer to work. Would you be willing to rent a room out to me? She then showed me text threads with her current landlord who was praising her for being a good tenant. I kind of brushed it off and said, well, I don't know about a room, but the place we are renting now will be available once we move out. And she said that would be nice, but she was looking for something cheaper. As our session ended, she told me to call her if I needed her. And then she said, but I might need you first. Now, my husband thought it was funny when I told him my best friend thinks this woman should not be a psychiatrist. I have had previous uncomfortable encounters with her where she told me my miscarriages happened because I wasn't happy enough. And this most recent session, she told me it's because my baby knew that we didn't own a home yet. Am I overreacting, thinking that this person is wildly inappropriate? I don't know if you're seeing a psychiatrist. You might be seeing a demon ghost.

[Damian]

I missed the paranormal ones.

[Shane]

Please give me a ghost.

[Damian]

Where the fuck are you, ghost?

[Angela]

It happened again. It really happened again. Someone was talking about one spooky thing, and then they used something even spookier to just describe the behavior and then moved on. Cause that is so fucking terrifying, that thing about the children.

[Shane]

I. Sometimes, you know what I feel like. Okay. You know what I feel like happens I don't think this is discussed often. I feel like sometimes people bring to, like, a friend or to an accomplice. They bring like, hey, this thing happened. And it's the mild thing because they're.

[Angela]

Kind of scared or something.

[Shane]

And in telling the mild, like, you can. Cause it's kind of like putting your toe in the water. It's like, yeah, so this person said this stupid thing and. Yeah, I mean, obviously they said this. Others.

[Angela]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Shane]

I kind of feel like that happens a lot. And that almost feels like her writing it out, being like, yeah, it's kind of weird. And. Yeah, this other stuff happened too. And it's kind of putting, like it's allowing her process.

[Angela]

No, for sure.

[Shane]

Cause like, oh, my God.

[Angela]

I think the brain is funky with how it takes care of itself. I like it a little bit sometimes.

[Shane]

Thanks, little gnome.

[Angela]

I think sometimes it presses down the stuff that's even worse, and that's just survival, I guess.

[Damian]

When talking to my therapist about something once I went on a little tangent in the middle of the story and continued on, and she actually went, oh, my God. And I was like, oh, what? Oh, that was bad, huh? Yeah, I guess that was pretty bad. But anyway, back to the thing I meant. But to make your therapist stop and go like.

[Angela]

I was like, like, dissociation is real.

[Shane]

Yeah. Horrible. People do manage to get degrees and licensed every day. It does happen plenty. Should we trust professionals? Yes, but also, it is a doctor, and getting second opinions and third opinions is very smart. And if you're a psychiatrist and they're saying anything like that, which is also not based in any sort of science.

[Damian]

The person in charge of your brain meds.

[Shane]

Yeah. It's like, you could be like, I'm gonna go see a different psychiatrist.

[Angela]

See, this is why we give him the iPad, folks.

[Shane]

I feel like it's well said. I feel like I say the most common sense things. No, but.

[Angela]

No, but you have to say that.

[Shane]

You say the most basic things just to establish a ground.

[Angela]

Oh, I wasn't making fun of you at all. I thought you did that. Very well done. Where it's like, we shouldn't. Like, yeah, people have degrees and stuff, but you need second opinions, especially when it gets like that.

[Shane]

Can I. Can I make a wild comparison, please? It reminds me of when I was doing really bad at math in fifth grade. I was behind in math, like, horribly. And so my parents were like, we're gonna take you and put you in Kumon, the math learning program. And I go and like, by this time in fifth grade, we're doing, like, long division and stuff, but I go. And I'm like, all right, I'm gonna start doing math. Cause apparently I suck at it. But then, like, all right, great. And I get my first packets, and it's truly zero plus zero. And I remember being like, this is an insult. Come on, guys. They're like, no. We start you at literally the basic ground level. And they're like, the reason we do that is because if you missed something at the very base level, it's gonna mess you up all the way to the top. Whoa. And so it's like, if you, somewhere along the line, thought two plus three equals six, that's messing you up here. That's just all the way. And I don't even know where I. I caught that. I did mess up. But I went from being behind to being in the advanced program in, like, five months.

[Angela]

Wow.

[Shane]

That. And so. And like, I was doing, like, crazy. I did stuff in sixth grade in Kumon that I never hit in college. Wow. Like, I was doing crazy shit. Just. Cause, like, they just. They're like, all right, now you're moving. Now you figured it all out. And I was like, I don't know what I missed, but I missed something. That was so basic. But it's kind of why it is important to, like, establish these ground rules, like. Cause another example that we see in Reddit stories is, like, toilet etiquette, right? Where people are like, oh, yeah, we have a poop knife, and that's normal. And everyone has it. And it's like, no, we don't. But because we don't talk about these basic level things, you miss it, and that's clear.

[Angela]

I mean, that's really wise, Shane. Now I'm thinking about that for even people with relationships where, like, go back and in a fundamental age, in, like, an early relationship, you were treated a certain way that made you believe something about your worth, that it was a learning curve that you never healed.

[Shane]

It's why people will, like, you'll hear something so atrocious said to someone, and they'll just be like, fine with it. And it's like, you know, that was bad, right?

[Damian]

Yeah.

[Shane]

And they'll be like, no. It's like, did you. Somewhere along in your life, you learned that that was actually okay? It's so common knowledge that that's bad, what they said. But in our learning, we miss these very, very basic things. It's so important to, like, establish the baseline over and over or it's boring.

[Angela]

Or we learned that, like, that happened to you. And your body has to keep going and pushes down.

[Shane]

Totally.

[Damian]

Like, protects you by doing it totally.

[Shane]

And we all have that. We all have the blind spots. But this person thought it was okay that the psychiatrist said that to them.

[Damian]

Cause they are an authority figure. And if you're not used to it, if you hear something like that, even if you think it's a little bit off, everything they've said so far to you has been something you've taken as the truth. Like, I do need that medication. That is a good way to treat things. Yada, yada, yada. The baby thing is weird, but okay.

[Shane]

You know, it's also the tough balance of, like, we have such a distrust of science and medicine nowadays, but you also, you need to find that healthy balance of trusting your own judgment while also trusting the judgment around you. But that's why it's like, it's always okay to go get second opinions. It's always okay to go to another professional.

[Damian]

Yeah.

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Anyways, let's move into the verdict, which is not overreacting, obviously. Comments? Is she even a licensed therapist? Yes. This is a massive violation of your personal and professional relationship. Does she work on her own or part of a group of therapists at the office? If she works for a group, I would call up and ask to speak to a manager. I would ask for a different therapist or a referral to a different office. Tell them the story about what happened. Someone else said, are you a recovering people pleaser? Perhaps she was testing your ability to set boundaries. Aside from that, it's definitely weird, though. And if she's being 100% serious, it's worth reporting, to be honest. OP said I am a people pleaser, but I haven't been seeing her very long, so I'm not sure she would be testing me, but I don't really know.

[Angela]

A good therapist shouldn't be testing.

[Shane]

Yeah, no, that's not how it works.

[Angela]

I'm just gonna say that that's not.

[Shane]

How it works at all.

[Damian]

The only test is how much you can make your therapist laugh so you become their favorite.

[Angela]

And that's me Every time.

[Shane]

Yes.

[Angela]

Not because I'm making them laugh, but I try to. Just.

[Damian]

You gotta be the favorite.

[Shane]

I gotta be the favorite.

[Damian]

You gotta be the favorite.

[Shane]

Someone said psychologist here. Wildly inappropriate and unprofessional. She needs to be reported to her board, licensing agency bosses, if she has them, to your insurance company, et cetera. And you need to find a new doc, stat. So sorry this happened. To you. She should not have done that. Update. I am reporting her and switching providers. Thanks for all the comments.

[Angela]

Great.

[Shane]

Thank God.

[Damian]

And there's no horror movie because you did the right steps.

[Shane]

Update. I went back to her office and she hadn't been there for 20 years.

[Narrator]

What?

[Damian]

All that I saw was a little snake and a little hat and a little nose.

[Angela]

My sink is soapy.

[Damian]

Yeah, My sink is calling me babe.

[Angela]

I mean, I feel like I hear like nightmare therapist stories a lot these days. Cause I think it's the thing. You just gotta triple double check. You gotta. You're putting that person's inherently in a place of power or like manipulative. Possible.

[Narrator]

I don't know.

[Shane]

It's just also to be clear, for therapists and psychiatrists, I mean, I don't know about psychiatrists, but therapists. Therapists aren't actually supposed to be like telling you what to do. They are supposed to guide you and ask the right questions and help you figure it out. If you have a therapist that's going, you need to break up with your boyfriend or obviously moving in with them is wildly a breach. But, like, it's okay to be skeptical. Like, I think therapy is so important. It's so huge, it's wildly expensive. So I understand why a lot of people can't do it. But like, if you're able to, it's also okay to be like, you know what? This therapist, I'm not feeling it.

[Damian]

Yeah.

[Shane]

You are allowed to keep going to new therapists, like keep trying it out, but, like, have that healthy balance of am I right? What am I feeling?

[Angela]

I think the best way to do that is to like, talk to other people. Like, this person did want a Reddit, so it's important to just like talk to us.

[Shane]

Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely.

[Damian]

Communication's key.

[Shane]

Diversify. Similar to stocks and bonds, you also diversify your network and get everyone's opinions and feelings on things.

[Angela]

And feelings on things.

[Shane]

Bitcoin of emotion. Whoa.

[Damian]

Spooky.

[Shane]

Really scary.

[Angela]

Whoa.

[Shane]

NFTs are back.

[Angela]

Shane. If he sold bitcoin, put everything in.

[Damian]

A high yield money market of, you know, treasury bonds, which is.

[Angela]

You guys feel like today's been seven years.

[Shane]

Yeah, dude, that's the gnome of us. I'm gonna. You wanna know something scary? We shot the try not to laugh smosh mouth episode. I don't know when that aired. I wanna say four hours, but no.

[Damian]

Oh no.

[Shane]

We filmed it hours ago, but it aired like a month and a half ago.

[Angela]

And that's scary.

[Shane]

But we filmed that today. So we filmed that hours ago. So imagine the headspace we are in. Cause if you haven't watched that, go back and watch that now.

[Angela]

You're gonna be like, what?

[Shane]

Insane.

[Damian]

And Angela and I, specifically, we were both nap takers.

[Shane]

You guys took a nap. I walked out and you guys were asleep. And I go, ready for Reddit stories? And you went, yeah.

[Angela]

And in between them, play a little game.

[Shane]

That's how we do it here.

[Damian]

That's true.

[Shane]

Our next story comes from relationship advice. This is a 22 year old boyfriend, 19 year old girlfriend. My boyfriend won't stop curling my hair in my sleep. Oh, okay. Just a little serial killer behavior.

[Damian]

You smell different when you sleep.

[Shane]

My boyfriend is curling my hair in my sleep.

[Angela]

The bear.

[Shane]

How do I confront him?

[Angela]

Get off.

[Shane]

My boyfriend has always been interested in my hair and he likes to watch me curl it, et cetera. Then he started asking me to curl it. Just subtle hints at the beginning, which then evolved after this going on for a few weeks. It progressed and he became more pushy about it, resulting in lots of arguments. These got progressively worse for a few months. Then recently, probably about two weeks ago, I noticed strands of my hair were curled when I woke up in the morning. I've also noticed my curlers have been moved around and are slightly warm when I go to use them. At first I didn't think much and just put it down to my erratic sleeping habits. But my hair gets progressively more curly every time it happens. I don't know how to confront him about this, as when I tried, he denied and became extremely agitated. Oh, if anyone has had similar experiences and or some advice, please share.

[Damian]

Not similar, but I've got advice. Yeah, get out of there.

[Shane]

Yeah, done. Done deal, man.

[Damian]

That's kind of like what you're saying about like not knowing the baseline, like 19 to 22. I'm assuming that this is probably the first, maybe in the first couple of like, oh, it's a boyfriend that I can actually like stay over the night with. Whatever. Like, is it normal that he gets kind of mad about that? It's like not bodily autonomy. You didn't consent to any of that. Time to go.

[Angela]

This is bad. I thought we heard the worst today. This is the worst. I hate this. I think this man needs to go away and take a long shower and really. Oh, I hate him.

[Damian]

Yeah.

[Angela]

No, that. She said no, it's not your body. Go away. Sorry.

[Damian]

No, don't be sorry.

[Shane]

It's this is this, is this. I feel like this case cut, dried and curled.

[Damian]

No, no, no, Just cut and dry.

[Shane]

No. Yeah. Awful comments. I don't know what else to say.

[Damian]

Comment. What next? Top comment. What?

[Angela]

Cause at the top of this, I was like, oh, I don't want to, like, kink shame if he's, like, into girls. But she said no.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Angela]

And then using hot tools, you're. I don't even care if it's cold. Emily.

[Damian]

Little cold curl.

[Angela]

She doesn't want to do that.

[Shane]

You don't like a little cold curl.

[Damian]

You know, you got even a little cold curl. Doesn't even make it noise.

[Angela]

Cold curl. No. This is. This guy's got to go read a book.

[Shane]

Yeah. Can I get a hamburger, a shake, and can I get a side of some cold curls?

[Damian]

We have some curly fries from yesterday. Why do you call them that?

[Shane]

You know what I want. All right, comments. Every day I think I cannot be surprised by this app. And every day I am proven wrong.

[Angela]

Me too. Me, me, too.

[Shane]

It is shocking.

[Angela]

Up upvote.

[Shane]

Someone said, I'm thinking of her dead asleep when he sneakily curls her hair with a comb or hot iron. And it seems hilarious to me. Not to her, though. This is definitely wild. Lastly, someone said, if he became agitated when you tried to confront him, I'd say this should be the end of the relationship. He is clearly aware that you don't want him to do this, but now does it when you're asleep. Absolutely. Without your consent. He could be doing other things without your consent. Yes. Even if he isn't right now, he could get bolder as he knows you can sleep through the hair. Curling.

[Angela]

Yeah. Like, this is so quirky of a weird thing, but at the end of the day, it's just not respect. And it's like, we talked about this before with the stories where someone is. Like, someone does something to them when they're asleep, or like, you know, like the person goes sleeping under the. Like, it's just your safe space. And it's like, I just. Like, this guy's gotta go just, like, curl his own fucking hair. Shove the curling iron up his throat.

[Shane]

I like how you switch that. Mid sentence switches.

[Damian]

Curling iron. You should just shove that curling iron right up into the drawer and put it away.

[Angela]

Sorry, we're cutting all that anyway. Okay.

[Shane]

All right. There's nothing else to say on that one.

[Angela]

Yeah. That's so scary.

[Shane]

That is awful. All right, our last story.

[Damian]

Please be a ghost. Come on.

[Angela]

I just wanted to be a gnome and not a stupid idiot.

[Damian]

No more just creepy dudes.

[Shane]

This last one is a. Today I fucked up.

[Damian]

And now I'm dead. And haunting things.

[Shane]

Today I fucked up by being a horny 21 year old and not realizing how scary a girl actually was. Girls are scary. So I've heard.

[Angela]

Can you just read that again?

[Shane]

Today I fucked up by being a horny 21 year old and not realizing how scary a girl actually was. So he clearly got himself into a situation because he's like, oh, I can get laid. But not realizing she was probably like a vampire or something.

[Damian]

Okay, I hope so.

[Shane]

I hope so.

[Angela]

Okay.

[Shane]

So this story happened as. This story was posted four years ago, but it happened five years prior. He's talking about a story from five.

[Damian]

Years before on this very day.

[Shane]

Yes, I had been seeing this girl for a couple of weeks. Pretty casual, but she was really fun and funny, if not a bit intense. After a few weeks, she starts referring to me as her boyfriend and talking about meeting her parents. I'm not feeling it, but being a douchey 21 year old, I go with it. Cause she's having sex with me. So it all comes to a head one night when she pulls me into a room off of her bedroom. Laid out on the floor are dozens, if not hundreds of pictures of her. And I'm not talking about sexy pictures, which would still be weird, but regular pictures of her. Pictures with her family, her friends from high school, definitely at least one Christmas card with her whole ass family on it. She then proceeds to ask me to have sex with her right there. Shit was creepy. So I left real fast after I finished.

[Damian]

Okay, moving on.

[Shane]

After regaling some friends with that bizarre tale, they were pretty sure she was cursing me or stealing my soul. I cut it off with her and she proceeded to come by my work daily for hours and stare at me.

[Angela]

Well, you don't say.

[Shane]

That went on for a couple of months before we banned her. After that, she would send me messages on Facebook about how we were meant to be together and how much she loved me. I'd get a message every couple of months before I eventually blocked her. Haven't seen or heard from her in years. Thank God.

[Damian]

She's just gotten better at hiding, dude.

[Shane]

Yeah, that.

[Angela]

So the pictures were on the ground and they had sex on top of the pictures of her?

[Shane]

Yes.

[Damian]

She just didn't have any rose petals. And so she's like all these Polaroids, I guess, of me and my family. Oh, God.

[Angela]

And they're just like. Like normal pictures. Like. Yeah, that's what's weird is.

[Damian]

Oh, that's. I didn't. Mm.

[Shane]

That made that. Yeah.

[Damian]

Also, like, family Christmas card is rough. Like, come meet my parents. Like, hi, Rick.

[Angela]

That's really weird.

[Shane]

Oh, God.

[Angela]

Oh, my God. I wonder if that was like a spell. If you have sex with someone on top of pictures of them and their.

[Damian]

Life, he needs a counter curse of some kind.

[Shane]

Yeah, he needs to jack off completely by himself.

[Damian]

He's like, that's it. Oh, thank God. I think I've already broken that curse, like 12 times.

[Angela]

That's all I had to do.

[Damian]

That was easy. But fool, you'll never learn the counter. Oh, what are you doing? Well. Oh, God.

[Angela]

Yo, that.

[Narrator]

Whoa.

[Damian]

Oh, that's a cold curl right there.

[Shane]

Stop that. That's a gnome right there.

[Angela]

Oh, I feel bad for him. That's scary.

[Shane]

Should have threw the work. Okay, but it's been five years and he hasn't seen her.

[Damian]

What if his work is at a. Is it a mortuary?

[Shane]

I love that the top comment in quotation is left so damn fast. I almost didn't have sex. The good Reddit comment. That's a good Reddit comment.

[Damian]

Good comment.

[Shane]

Thank you for the gold kind, stranger. Someone said after a few months, you had this as a daily occurrence for hours on end. For months before you banned her. Coming to his work and staring at her. And it took months to ban her. I understand some workplaces. That's just how it goes.

[Damian]

Yeah, she might buy something. I don't know.

[Shane]

Someone said, my theory is the OP did get their soul stolen. OP is actually the girl who completed the ritual to steal his life. And the girl stalking him after is original OP trying to get his body back.

[Damian]

Yup, yup. Dude, I was thinking that. I was literally thinking, like, what if it keeps? Like, what if someone sees him later and someone's like, no, someone had sex with you and you had photos.

[Shane]

Like, what do you mean? Oh, it's like, this is a follow situation.

[Damian]

Dude. Dude, this is way better than what they wrote.

[Angela]

Whoa. Yeah, this. This was a lot today.

[Damian]

That was a lot. I think ghouls gotta up their game.

[Shane]

Because ghouls need to start doing this.

[Damian]

These were all scary, for sure. And I'm glad we had a gnome in there. That's awesome. But like, a lot of creepy people. Lot of creepy people.

[Angela]

Nothing scarier than trauma.

[Shane]

Turns out that people are still the scariest thing in the universe.

[Angela]

And so is Reddit.

[Shane]

Black holes.

[Damian]

Second place, there are planets where it rains molten glass forever.

[Shane]

It's kind of gorgeous. Cause it's just happening over there.

[Damian]

Is that a ghost? It's over there. Don't worry about it.

[Angela]

It's over there. He's not here. It's over there. It's over there.

[Damian]

It's in Disney World. Dude, they can't even see your mirror or anything.

[Shane]

They're under contract. They can't leave.

[Damian]

Walt had his ducks in a row with the occult.

[Shane]

Well, are you guys scared?

[Angela]

Yes.

[Damian]

Yes.

[Shane]

Yeah, me too.

[Angela]

Today was. Yeah. This was a very scary Reddit story.

[Damian]

It was. Yeah.

[Shane]

Thanks for hanging out.

[Angela]

Thanks for having us.

[Damian]

No problem.

[Shane]

Powering through it. And thank you for watching. Let us know if there's any gnomes under your bed.

[Damian]

Yeah. Are you in Spain? Is it a normal occurrence?

[Shane]

Yeah. What's the deal with gnomes?

[Damian]

I love that, by the way.

[Angela]

Even though the art department.

[Shane]

Yeah. Did they make that? They made that?

[Angela]

They made this?

[Shane]

Damn. Whoa.

[Damian]

That's so cool.

[Shane]

Awesome.

[Damian]

I literally love it. Guys, what if we name it?

[Narrator]

What?

[Damian]

Or we can just send the video. That's fine. Thanks for coming.

[Angela]

Bye.

[Shane]

Bye. See you next Saturday.