Reddit Is The Best Medicine | Reading Reddit Stories

Summary

Smosh Reads Reddit Stories — “Reddit Is The Best Medicine”

Podcast: Smosh Reads Reddit Stories
Host: Shayne Topp, with Trevor and Ian
Date: January 31, 2026
Theme: Medical Stories — wild, hilarious, and sometimes heartfelt tales from Reddit, centering on health, hospitals, and the surprise drama (and comedy) of the body.

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Episode Overview

This episode dives into a curated mix of medically-themed Reddit posts. Tall tales of bodily mysteries, relationship red flags during health crises, embarrassing hospital moments, and ethically fraught family/friend dynamics around medical needs are read aloud. Smosh’s signature banter keeps things light and irreverent, but there’s plenty of genuine empathy and smart insights woven into the reactions.

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Key Segments & Discussions

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"I Shit So Hard I Can Smell Again" (AskDocs Post)

Timestamp: 02:35–20:20

• Story Summary:
  A Redditor recounts regaining their sense of smell after a particularly intense bowel movement, prompted by a strong pain and a subsequent release of copious mucus. With a past cancer diagnosis, the OP wonders if they should worry, and describes dealing with sudden, high-level pain and relief.

• Hosts’ Reactions:

  • The team debates if it was the force or the smell that reset the sinuses.
    • Shane: “Maybe his brain got confused between anus and sinus and just kind of was like, let's clear them both out.” (08:28)
  • Speculation on sudden, unexplained body fixes.
  • Personal anecdotes: Shayne and Ian share stories about sudden pain relief or "body pops".
  • Trevor, on OP’s pain: “If I'm ever pooping and my head starts to hurt at, like, a level nine... I think I'm just dying.” (07:04)

• Advice from AskDocs and Reddit Comments:

  • Medical professionals urge the OP to get checked immediately: sudden severe headache + past cancer = ER (14:57).
    • Shane quotes an EMT: “You need to go to an emergency room ASAP... report your history of cancer, the pop, the intense pain, and the ability to smell again. You need imaging and a coagulation panel immediately.” (14:46)
  • Stroke and aneurysm horror stories are shared in replies, making it clear never to ignore this kind of pain.

• OP’s Updates:

  • Ultimately, no aneurysm or catastrophic finding. The likely culprit: a sinus cyst burst.
  • OP is grateful (and relieved to regain smell!), and turns the ordeal genuinely heartwarming:
    • (OP Quote, via Shane): “No matter how dark it gets... there will always be a few thousand people to listen to your shit stories.” (19:39)

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The Martial Arts Husband (Relationship Advice)

Timestamp: 22:15–32:06

• Story Summary:
  A pregnant woman develops a large, alarming hematoma on her hand; her husband refuses to help her get urgent medical care because he wants to go to martial arts training, suggesting his mental health comes first.

• Hosts’ Responses and Riffs:

  • Immediate, angry disbelief.
    • Trevor: “That makes me so sad.” (24:52)
    • Ian: “If my partner for any reason... needs to go to the hospital, there is never a situation where I'm like, ‘ah, sorry.’” (31:21)
  • The group lampoons the husband’s priorities—leaving pregnant spouse + kids for “training,” asking about getting a massage instead of expressing concern.
  • They debate red flags: prior infidelity emerges as an obvious pattern.
  • Listeners encouraged to always prioritize serious health issues—never delay emergency care.

• Notable Quote:

  • Shane: “I could never imagine in a million years being like, I’m gonna leave you alone while you’re... especially when there’s kids. I’m like, dude, you don’t care about anybody in this situation.” (31:47)

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Ugly Sobbing at the Doctor’s — Snot and Slapstick

Timestamp: 32:07–37:23

• Story Summary:
  A broke, 17-year-old nursing student openly sobs in a doctor’s office over the price of a required form, only to rocket herself face-first into a wall in front of the doctor—leaving a snotty imprint.

• Hosts’ Take:

  • Lots of laughter at the Looney Tunes physical comedy.
  • Shane: “She gave him a nice Looney Tunes moment.” (36:26)
  • Reflection on medical embarrassment: everyone feels weird at the doctor, but doctors see (almost) everything.

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Dog Trip Dilemma — “Am I the Asshole?”

Timestamp: 37:24–44:02

• Scenario:
  At the park, a friend (Kathy) dislocates her shoulder tripping near a small corgi, then asks the dog’s owner (OP) to pay her medical bills.

• Panel’s Ethics:

  • General consensus: not the OP’s responsibility.
  • Trevor and Ian unpack the difference between deliberate harm versus bad luck.
  • Trevor: “Kathy’s the one that’s making this awkward... the dog didn’t get hurt or yelp or anything.” (39:33, 40:42)
  • Memories shared: Ian reminisces about being accidentally bodyslammed by an off-leash dog as a child.

• Notable Reddit Verdicts and Quotes:

  • “If anything, she rear-ended that dog and therefore is 100% liable.” (42:54)
  • “Kathy can get fucked here. Frankly, fuck Kathy... she’s fragile as shit.” (43:36)

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“Remove Your Medical Devices for My Wedding” — Medical Boundaries vs. Wedding Aesthetics

Timestamp: 44:03–55:37

• Scenario:
  A diabetic bridesmaid is told by her sister (the bride) to remove her Dexcom and insulin pump from her arms to “not spoil” the wedding photos. The devices are vital and cannot simply be moved or removed safely.

• Smosh Cast Reaction:

  • Near-universal horror at the insensitivity.
  • Trevor: “That’s insane, dude. Your health isn’t important—what’s important is these photos looking real nice.” (45:43)
  • Shane, Ian, and Trevor all agree this is non-negotiable; health always trumps aesthetics.
  • Discussion on medical device stigma, and the pain of family siding against someone’s health needs.
  • Photoshop as a reasonable compromise, but only if OP is comfortable.

• Reddit Wisdom:

  • Supportive comments: “Photoshop exists for reasons just like this. Asking you to compromise your health is selfish...” (49:25)
  • Real-world anecdote: “My aunt turned up to my wedding with four stitches in her forehead from surfing...” (50:35)

• Resolution Update:

  • OP’s brother and grandfather intervene—grandpa, as the wedding’s financial backer, threatens to pull funding until apologies are issued.
  • The family apologizes, and creative solutions suggested (floral corsages, shawls).
  • OP’s reflection: “It was really upsetting... but it was a really big deal to me that [my brother and grandpa] unconditionally supported me.” (54:45)

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Embarrassment at the Doctor — Surgeon Roasts Patient’s Penis

Timestamp: 56:03–63:39

• Story:
  A 6’6”, 250 lb man on a hospital OR table overhears his surgeon joke—with another doctor—about his “small dick,” wrongly assuming the patient is fully sedated.

• Cast Reaction:

  • Roars of disbelief, empathy, and some grim laughs:
    • Ian: “If I’m awake on an operating table and a doctor... makes a joke about my tiny penis, I don’t think I would make a noise. I think I would be so mortified...” (58:41)
  • Discussion of professionalism, the damage of doctor judgment, and how “docs are just people—but that doesn’t make it OK.”
  • Members swap similar stories from Reddit and real-life, reflecting on vulnerability and medical shaming.
  • Banter veers into “cocktalk” (their word), and the mood stays breezy, even as they recognize the pain of the actual incident.
  • Trevor: “It’s physicians like that that make people afraid to go to the doctor... self conscious about something on their bodies.” (61:25)
  • Spin-off Reddit comment: “Just a thought, but have you tried having a bigger penis?” (63:24)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Medical Surprises:
  • Shane: “Have either of you ever dealt with like a symptom or pain that just went away in an instant?” (07:20)
  • Ian: “Doctors probably love stuff like that... It was probably like, a nice little bright spot on his day.” (36:10)
• On Priorities in Crisis:
  • Trevor (re: martial arts husband): “Babe, babe. For my mental health. I can't help you.” (25:03)
• On Medical Equipment in Weddings:
  • Shane: “How hurtful and insensitive is that remark, too? Because this is something she wears daily.” (45:57)
  • Ian: “It just communicates, like, even bringing it up... that thing isn’t aesthetically pleasing, I don’t want it in my photos.” (49:13)
• On Doctors as People:
  • Trevor: “You’re a professional. But I understand doctors are just in there all day... but... that’s still a really mean thing.” (61:05)
  • Shane: “Docs are just people, mechanics.” (quoted from Reddit, 62:14)

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Closing Theme & Tone

Throughout the episode, Smosh balances slapstick and sincerity. There’s irreverent humor—especially about bodily functions, medical horror stories, and ethical disasters—but also thoughtful reminders to trust your instincts, get checked out early, and never compromise your medical needs for others’ comfort or aesthetics.

Final sign-off banter:

• Trevor: “Thank you Dr. Topp.”
• Ian: “Thank you Dr. Dilf.”
• Shane: “Add Esquire to that.” (64:34–64:57)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 02:35 — “I shit so hard I can smell again”
• 22:15 — Husband abandons pregnant wife for karate class
• 32:07 — Sobbing teen faceplants in doctor’s office
• 37:24 — Corgi tripping dilemma
• 44:03 — Sister tries to ban diabetic’s medical devices at wedding
• 56:03 — Surgeon dunks on patient's penis

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Takeaways

• Sudden severe pain—especially with relevant history—always warrants emergency attention.
• Never put aesthetics over medical necessity, even at weddings.
• Don’t be afraid to err on the side of checking symptoms, and don’t wait to seek care.
• Laughter and embarrassment are universal in healthcare, but basic respect should always be upheld.
• Doctors are people—but professionalism matters.

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Useful for listeners who want relatable medical drama, “can you believe this?” moments, and Smosh’s trademark mix of gut-busting comedy and genuine empathy.

Transcript

[Sponsor Voice]

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[Shane]

Welcome to Smosh Reads Reddit Stories. I'm Shane and today's theme is Medical Stories. This is to help promote our live show that we just did, Smosh Hospital, which you can still check out the VOD for if you go to Live Smart. We're filming this before we do the show, but telling ya, we've been working on it for a long time. I think the show was pretty good so you're gonna wanna check it out. But this episode today I'm joined by two people who know everything about medicine, Trevor and Ian. I've been to the doctor, obviously before we get into this. If anything medically related is triggering for you, this might not be your episode. But I will say apparently it's not gon to get too gory, too intense. These are just medical related stories. Wow, this first one's awesome.

[Trevor]

Starting strong. Here we go.

[Shane]

This comes From a subreddit. AskDocs a subreddit where people can ask medical questions and all flared. Medical professionals are verified by moderators. So the responses are from legitimate healthcare professionals. This is awesome. Someone titled this post I shit so hard I can smell again.

[Trevor]

Wow, dude.

[Shane]

I can smell again.

[Ian]

Again.

[Shane]

This was posted in May of 2022. So I'm guessing this person got Covid. Lost their sense of smell. Maybe. And then. I don't know. Shit really hard.

[Trevor]

Look, I have a sense of smell, but I wish I could experience this.

[Ian]

Yeah, that's like, gotta be that. I mean, I've had some stinky poops. I think we all have. Okay, but pooping? So stinky.

[Trevor]

I don't think it's a stinky.

[Shane]

Do you think it's stinky or is that he shit. I think it's the. Do you think it's physical?

[Trevor]

It's the physical release.

[Ian]

I was thinking maybe it was like the smell, like literally.

[Shane]

So overpowering.

[Trevor]

Figured it out.

[Ian]

No, literally. I was like.

[Shane]

It opened up his.

[Trevor]

I was thinking it was like a physical release.

[Ian]

That makes more sense.

[Trevor]

Which sounds awesome.

[Ian]

That makes more sense.

[Shane]

Let's see.

[Trevor]

Yeah, sure.

[Shane]

Let's see. Was it force or was it smell?

[Trevor]

Vote now in the comments.

[Shane]

So the craziest thing happened and I am wondering if I should seek medical attention. Today I woke up and nature called. As usual, I made my way over to the bathroom and did my business. Now, I'm not sure what happened exactly, if I pushed too hard or what, but something in my head popped it. It was in the back of my head, at the apex of the back of the skull. This is the part that scared me. I had intense pain, really intense pain in the back of my head. I get cluster headaches and migraines from time to time, but this was not a headache. This was just an intense pain in the back of my head. I am a cancer survivor. Ewing sarcoma. That is a cancer that forms in your bones or in nearby soft tissue. And I have dealt with level 10 pain. This was easily an 8 or a 9 on my pain scale. So I went back to my bed and my girlfriend saw how much pain I was in. She brought Advil and the pain went down to a dull roar for about six hours and is now more or less gone. But the crazy thing that happened is when I got out of bed, I just started sniffling. And then a large amount of mucus just came out of both nostrils. The most I have ever seen in my life. Now, I have had almost no sense of smell for quite a long time. I was always congested and could not smell anything. Antihistamines did nothing. After this event, I can smell perfectly again. I am smelling things I haven't smelled in forever and getting very nostalgic. I'm honestly so worried something is gonna build up and take my smell away again. But even if it does, today has just been the best day in a long time. I'm in no pain right now, but. But I am wondering if I should seek medical attention. I am also wondering if this will stop my snoring. I guess I'll find out tonight. Honestly, this is such a ridiculous story and I'm not even ashamed of it. I wanna tell everyone they write, ha ha ha ha ha. Has anything like this happened to anyone else? Tldr I took a shit, popped my head, became a booger faucet, then regained my sense of smell. That's as one does.

[Trevor]

Okay. I don't think the shit had anything to do. I don't think the shit in the pop had anything to do with like this like sudden like sinus evacuation.

[Shane]

But he said he was in massive pain for like six hours, like so something. But it was the back of his head. Which shouldn't be related to sinus. Sinus.

[Trevor]

But I mean, you never know. Cause I guess like pressure can build and weird ways. I mean our sinuses are like so like messed up.

[Shane]

Yeah. That maybe his brain got confused between anus and sinus and just kind of was like, let's clear them both out. Yeah. Evacuate both.

[Ian]

It was actually. The mucus was actually a living thing up there. And when he pooped so hard, it like just got jostled around and had to evacuate. Yeah, that's probably what happened.

[Shane]

That's probably what happened.

[Trevor]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Well, either way, it seems to me in my non professional opinion, he did whatever he needed to do.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah. That was just.

[Shane]

He took care of business. Yeah.

[Trevor]

That's crazy. But like to be in that much pain for that long.

[Ian]

If I'm ever pooping and my head starts to hurt at like a level nine on a pain scale, I think I'm just dying.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Ian]

Like I don't, like, I don't know how I come back. I literally would be like, I think it might be my time to go. I might be meeting my maker today.

[Shane]

Have either of you ever dealt with like a symptom or pain that then just like went away in an instant at some point?

[Ian]

Yeah. No, I think, I don't know. Does this happen to anyone else? Because I feel like in my life, anytime I have a weird medical thing, I just assume that, like, yeah, this is probably a normal thing that happens to people, but just getting, like, a really sharp pain and, like, a random point in your body and having it, and then you're just like, oh, why does my forearm hurt like this all of a sudden? And then it just goes away.

[Shane]

Is that not like a cramp? Like a.

[Ian]

It's not like a cramp. It's like a sharp pain. It's not like a soreness, like, muscle pain. It's like. I just feel like this. Almost like, sharp. Like someone is, like, poking a needle into my arm, and I'm like, ah. And then it goes away.

[Sponsor Voice]

Interesting.

[Trevor]

Interesting. I don't know.

[Shane]

I'm getting some knots. But a lot of people nodded.

[Trevor]

Yeah, it's just your growing pains. Cause you're still a growing boy, still a widow guy.

[Shane]

You're still getting taller still. I. One time, a few years ago in the pandemic, when I was just, like, home one day, I was working out, and I think I was doing lunges, and suddenly something in my knee, kind of like. It felt like something was out of place, and it hurt really bad, and it kind of was messed up all day or for a couple days, and I was like, damn. And I was hobbling around, and suddenly at one point, I just kind of. For some reason, I bent my leg, and it was just kind of like it was fine.

[Trevor]

Yeah. Wow.

[Shane]

I was like. It just kind of, like, snapped back into place, and I was like, oh, and I'm fully good again.

[Trevor]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Wow. Okay. And I was like, that's amazing. All right. I thought. I don't know. It wasn't, like, horrible pain. It was just kind of like, oh, like, something's off. Like, I couldn't. I was having trouble. And then it just clicked back into place.

[Trevor]

I feel that way, like, when you got, like, a little headache, and then you just, like, pop a little ibuprofen.

[Shane]

And then it works really fast.

[Trevor]

What the frick? Like, why does that work? That's crazy.

[Ian]

Raven, my fiance, she. She just recently had a head thing. Cause she gets really bad migraines and. And, like, tension headaches. She was telling me that she was in bed, and, like, her jaw has been hurting recently. Like, eating.

[Shane]

It's just sore.

[Ian]

And she was like. I was in bed and yawned and just, like, the loudest crack in her jaw, and her jaw immediately stopped hurting. But then she had a headache for, like, two days afterward. And I was like. I was like, I don't know. And, like, I'll give her, like, lots of neck massages. Cause I think, like, some of that, like, tightness in the neck can lead to that. But I was like, I don't know. I was like, that freaks me out.

[Trevor]

She had tmj.

[Ian]

Well, I don't know. Maybe. But can it just fix from one pop? Anytime there's a big pop or something in my body, I'm like, this might be the end.

[Trevor]

Living by myself. Cause I've tripped down my stairs a few times.

[Shane]

Oh, shit.

[Trevor]

I don't have a handle. I don't have a railing to hold onto, which is probably stupid. And I've fallen a few times down my stairs. And I'm like, this could be the time that I fall down the stairs and nobody will find me for a week.

[Shane]

Oh, my God. We're doing the Reddit stories with just Trevor.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Shane]

We're like, isn't there somebody else who's.

[Trevor]

Supposed to be here, who was supposed to be.

[Shane]

And I'm just at the bottom of the stairs, like just Peter Griffin, like.

[Trevor]

Just body crumpled up.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Trevor]

No, I need to. I need to. I need to get a railing by the time I'm like, 50. Because then it's like, then you got a couple years. Yeah. Cause I feel like. Cause I landed pretty freaking hard on my hip one time and I was like, dude, if I was like, any older, I would be toast.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Oh, you just get ahead of it and just get one of those ones that takes you down. Honestly, they look like smosh reads.

[Sponsor Voice]

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[Shane]

This episode of Red Stories is sponsored by zocdoc. I recently got out of a doctor's appointment and thought that was easy painless. In fact, it made me feel confident about scheduling future appointments and finding doctors that support me. And you can find doctors like that on zocdoc. Zocdoc is a free app and website that helps you find and book high quality in network doctors so you can find someone you love. There are thousands of verified patient reviews to give you a real sense of who your doctor is. This is how I found my dermatologist, primary physician and my dentist and you get some excellent insight from these reviews. Maybe you prefer someone who is direct or maybe you want a little small talk. Zocdoc can find someone that works for you. You can easily book in network appointments with more than 150,000 providers across all 50 states. As I've said before, I pushed off seeing the doctor for a long time until I got Zocdoc and I was amazed at how simple it was and I had an appointment within 24 hours. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to Zocdoc.com PitReddit to find and instantly book a doctor you love today. That's Zocdoc.com PitReddit Zocdoc.com PittReddit Thanks Zocdoc for sponsoring this message. That's a show. Okay, so what happened?

[Ian]

Yeah, I gotta know.

[Shane]

I gotta. Oh yeah. So here are the responses.

[Trevor]

Okay, so these are the experts that.

[Shane]

Are waiting in now. Yes A EMT B AKA an emergency medical technician basic responded op. I am very glad that you can experience smell again and we're able to enjoy the basic joy that is meatloaf with ketchup. What's concerning me is the level of pain you experience during and after the event plus your medical history as wonderful and miraculous this event is. You need to go to an emergency room ASAP at Triage report your history of cancer, the pop, the intense pain and the ability to smell. Again, you need imaging and a coagulation panel immediately. 1000 upvotes. So a non medical professional responded. My sister in law was on the phone with her mom when mom suddenly said something just popped in my head and now I have an awful headache. Then she started slurring her words and later stopped talking. She had a stroke. My 30 year old friend was with friends and said something popped in my head and I feel really weird. Then screaming from pain. Aneurysm had burst. Three surgeries later and they had inserted three stents. The doctor said it was amazing that she arrived at the hospital and friends reported what happened in time to save her. Go to the ER with any tremendous headache with a sudden onset.

[Trevor]

Dude, aneurysm is like the scariest thing.

[Shane]

It is the absolute scariest thing.

[Ian]

The idea that you can just be sitting somewhere in your brain just like bursts like that's horrifying.

[Shane]

Yeah. But I have heard that advice that a sudden extreme headache is like go to the emergency room. Yeah. Update.

[Trevor]

Oh yes.

[Shane]

Woke up totally fine. I'm going to tell my GP what happened and probably end up with an MRI. But my mother died of an aneurysm about 10 years ago so I have had a few MRIs because it can be hereditary. I haven't had an MRI in the last five years though. I have also had a ton of CT scans from my days with cancer. Either way, based on what I'm seeing here, I will 100% tell my doctor. I have a feeling nothing will turn up on the scan but it's better to be safe than sorry. My GP is right next to the hospital so I can go straight to the er. The reason I didn't go to the ER right away was because I am tested constantly. Cause of my cancer. From heart function yearly to an MRI, CT every 5 years to blood tests every 6 months. I have been cancer free for 20 years now though the less happy reason I didn't go is that I found my mother dead in bed when she had her aneurysm and I was told even if it had burst while she was next to a paramedic, there would have only been a 50% chance she would survive and if she did, there would only be a 50% chance she should have regular brain function. I figured if I was having an aneurysm there wouldn't be much I could do and I just wanted to lay in bed with my girlfriend as my last moments. But Then the pain went away. And he smelled and I was smelling.

[Trevor]

Yeah.

[Shane]

And I could finally smell that my girlfriend smelled really bad. My stinky girlfriend. Aw, you're stinky.

[Trevor]

I like the idea that he's like, well, it could be an aneurysm, but I'm alive, so I'm good.

[Shane]

Yeah. He was like, oh, I'm gonna wait here. But I'm like, you waited. You said for six hours the pain was going.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Trevor]

I would go to the er, right?

[Shane]

Like, yeah. Okay, update number two.

[Trevor]

Okay.

[Shane]

I talked to a nurse, and I'm waiting for a doctor. They believe I had some sort of cyst blocking my smell receptors. And what was cleared out was all infection. They said to go to the ER if my headache comes back or I start having clear fluid drip out my nose and to lean forward to check if anything is coming out. I'll see what the doctor says within the hour. Ew.

[Trevor]

Ew.

[Shane]

What is. Emily. Yeah, Emily wrote in, you ever poop so hard, you pop a cyst?

[Sponsor Voice]

Ew.

Ew.

[Ian]

That's easy.

[Shane]

My head. Oh, my God. Okay, final update. Let's see what they said. So there were 10 plus updates from op.

[Sponsor Voice]

Oh, my God.

[Shane]

Okay. They did a great job of keeping people posted, communicating their medical journey. We've summed up some of them here, plus have included the final update. All Right, to summarize, OP's doctor encourages them to go to the ER for testing because she said my story is very interesting, but she doesn't like it at all. This needs punch ups.

[Ian]

Yeah, that's such a funny thing to hear from a doctor like, okay, this is pretty crazy and interesting, but I don't like it.

[Shane]

I don't like it, I don't like it, and I don't like you. Once OP is finally seen, OP has a bit of high blood pressure, and at first the nurse says they're going to do a CT and possibly a lumbar puncture. So a lumbar puncture was just explained to me, and that is where they basically need to get spinal fluid. They need to test that. And so the needle is huge.

[Ian]

It's like the substance.

[Shane]

Yeah, basically the substance. All right, final update. I hope after all of this waiting, I have finally been discharged. I have no aneurysms. And he said that he doesn't think I need a spinal tap because the chances of me having bleeding is very, very low. However, if I get a bad headache, have trouble walking or anything like that, I must go back and I'll be tapped. At that point, he Said he has no idea what happened to me yesterday. And he said I should scream this story from the rooftops because it's a great story. And to be honest, I agree. My blood pressure wasn't too bad, he said. I think it was 180 over 90 on the last one, but I'm not sure. I have to monitor myself closely and go back at the first sign of trouble. I haven't eaten anything today. I can't wait to get home and have some leftover meatloaf and smoke a bowl. The one silver lining is, I guess, hell yeah, dude. Meatloaf.

[Trevor]

Meatloaf in a bowl. This is my guy.

[Shane]

Turns out our MRI shows that you're fucking chill as hell, dude.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Shane]

The one silver lining is, I guess I get to wait nine years before I get tested again. Ha ha ha ha ha. Parenthesis. Kidding. To all of you who have supported me today, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you all. I was so certain I was fine until I read these messages. But honestly, I am glad I went. It's better to be safe than sorry. Never underestimate the power of human compassion. There are so many bad things in this world, so many things that make it seem not worth it. But no matter how dark it gets, no matter how much you think the world is against you, just know that there will always be a few thousand people to listen to your shit stories. All the best. That guy who shit so hard he could smell again. Yeah.

[Trevor]

And everybody clapped.

[Shane]

And everybody clapped. He really turned that around, Made it heartfelt at the end.

[Trevor]

Yeah, that's. That's lovely.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Ian]

That's an insane story.

[Trevor]

I think it's just like another one of those cases, though. Like, where. And obviously, I know it's a little trickier in the US with our health care system, but, like, if something feels off about your body and you're just like, something doesn't feel normal, just go.

[Shane]

I know.

[Trevor]

Just go. Cause if you're just waiting for it to get worse, that could make your recovery worse. Or something could snowball. If something feels weird, just go.

[Shane]

Yeah. That was my experience when I started to feel tooth pain, and I was like, oh, it's probably just like, TMJ or something. I don't need to worry about it. And then my tooth felt like it was gonna explode suddenly, and it was the weekend, so I was like, oh, my dentist won't see me till Monday. I can hold off. And it was the worst pain I've ever experienced in my life. Yeah, I've said it before. I would break both my ankles again before I had to experience that. That shit was awful.

[Trevor]

Yeah, it was like an abscess or.

[Shane]

Yeah, it was an infection and everything. So they had to do a root canal. And it was. But once they did the root canal, I was like. I was grateful. I was excited to get a root canal. So I was like, fucking pull this out. Yeah.

[Ian]

I'm like, I'm a cereal. I'm in pain, and I'll just wait and see if it goes away. Cause honestly, I had something happen in my tooth too, where I had like. It felt like a little cut maybe on my gum, but it was like so painful and my whole tooth was like, sore.

[Shane]

Oh.

[Ian]

And it went away.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Ian]

I never went and got it looked at, and that's bad advice.

[Trevor]

The tooth fell out. The tooth got really black and fell out.

[Shane]

It smelled really bad, but it was fine.

[Ian]

It hurts so bad for like. It hurt to eat or drink anything for like three or four days.

[Trevor]

My God, man.

[Ian]

And now. Jesus.

[Trevor]

All right, that's youth.

[Ian]

Yeah, don't do it.

[Trevor]

Don't do it.

[Shane]

I mean, I think I was literally your age when that tooth infection happened, so I don't know, man.

[Ian]

Well, guess who didn't get a root canal.

[Shane]

Okay. Okay. All right. Our next story comes from relationship advice. This was posted in 2024. It's a 37 year old woman. My husband, who's 36, put martial arts training ahead of helping me get emergency medical treatment. And I'm not sure how to react. Sorry, honey. My martial arts training, my training comes first. Training comes first, as the title says. And I'm not sure how to fit, feel about it, or react to it. I had a sudden unexplained hematoma appear in my hand and wrist. Hematoma is when blood pools under the skin and can't drain out and can damage large blood vessels. It's bulging and sore, causing my whole arm to ache, probably about 5 inches by 5 inches and sticking out an inch. I'm also 22 weeks pregnant and on aspirin. He came home from work within 20 minutes of this happening. I showed him and he agreed that it was alarming and I needed to see a doctor urgently.

[Trevor]

He's just like, let me just give it a nice chop.

[Shane]

Yeah, let me try something. We have a one year old together and I have children from a previous relationship, as does he. He's a stepdad, I'm a stepmom. I said, could he watch the kids? He asked if my mother could, as he had Training. My mother had work. I just left it and began cooking dinner. Totally shocked. He got changed into his training gear and came back to the kitchen. I said to him, I'm going to struggle to make dinner with my one hand. He said, I'll pick up takeaway after training. I said since he was going to training, I have to cook for the kids as it's their bedtime soon. He ignored me and proceeded to tell me that he is tense from work and might need to get in with a massage therapist. After he left, I rang him to call him out on this. He said he would come home if it was that bad.

[Trevor]

He.

[Shane]

He said he'd get takeaway, but he needs to go to training for his mental health. So he went. I cooked and took care of the baby and children. He came home, ate, showered, and is in bed. Eventually he asked how my hand is, showed him it's three times bigger than when he left. He said to go to the emergency room. I don't want to now. I'm so tired. I feel like I'm not worth it anyway. And while I'm there, I'll just be worried about the baby and he won't help to alleviate it. I felt it was really cold that he went to training instead of watching the kids while I sought treatment. But I'm not sure if I'm overreacting.

[Ian]

Oh my.

[Trevor]

Wow. That makes me so sad.

[Shane]

The amount of stories we read. Similar to this.

[Trevor]

Oh my God.

[Shane]

Where it's like, yeah, I was dying and he was like, no, but I've got basketball practice. Like, what?

[Trevor]

Babe, babe. For my mental health. I can't help you.

[Shane]

I got it. Sorry, I gotta get my gi on.

[Trevor]

You have this freaky unknown thing happening with your arm. Arm in hand. But like, gotta think about my mentals.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Ian]

And also I might have to get a massage after.

[Trevor]

Yeah, yeah, I might.

[Shane]

I just.

[Ian]

I might have to get a massage.

[Shane]

I'm so sorry. I understand you're going through a lot, but I'm going through a lot too.

[Ian]

I kinda need a massage.

[Trevor]

That's crazy that she's like, I gotta make my kids dinner. Cause like in my head I'm like, you gotta go to the hospital. Like figure out the food thing. Like the kids.

[Shane]

No, this is. This is.

[Trevor]

That's.

[Shane]

Yeah, yeah. Comments? You still haven't gone to the emergency room. Go to the emergency room. Deal with this fuckery later. You need a medical professional. My friend had three DVT, deep vein thrombosis and two SVT's. Supraventricular tachycardia during pregnancy. They looked like what you describe. Again, go to the emergency room. Op responded, I'm here now. It got so painful, I thought my hand was going to explode. Someone else said, you are not overreacting. You are underreacting. To your children and stepchildren, you are more important than the whole world. They rely on you. Go to the emergency room asap. Then kick this loser out permanently. He is making your life harder and dangerous. Someone else said, most martial arts at their core are about becoming a better, more rounded up person. Not dancing around on a mat. That includes protecting those in need, putting them above yourself. Your husband is a failure. I would have lost respect.

[Ian]

Another martial arts guy coming in and being like that is not the way.

[Shane]

I can tell by this post that your husband is terrible at karate. Someone said, I'm also wondering if he may be having an affair and the training and massage was actually him meeting his affair partner.

[Trevor]

Oh, he's getting a massage.

[Shane]

The problem is when someone is.

[Trevor]

Sorry, I won't. If you're just listening to this on the podcast, you're welcome. Yeah, but if you saw this on video, I'm sorry.

[Shane]

If someone listening to this knows exactly what you did. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Trevor]

They heard the jerk motion. They heard the wind through the air.

[Shane]

Where was he planning to get a massage at night after his training? Do you know why his previous marriage failed. Did he cheat on his first wife? Op responds, yes, he cheated. He did it loudly and proudly too, and made her think she was crazy. She has sworn off men now. I didn't know this. When we got together, he also made out to me that she was perfect and the relationship perfect and that I ought to hold a torch. I obviously didn't know he was a total asshole. Then he swooped in post. Violent asshole. I probably needed a therapist, not a cuddle. I'm just having a revelation. Whoa. Holy crap.

[Ian]

Yeah, I hope this is the wake up call. Cause that just. Ah, that makes me so sad.

[Shane]

It's sadly one where you read it and it's like, man, it doesn't really matter if he's having an affair or not. He's so awful.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Trevor]

Okay, look. So he says he's doing karate, right? So now what she needs to do is set up a scenario where somebody goes to rob both of them and.

[Shane]

See if he actually knows karate.

[Trevor]

Yeah. And then. Yeah, and then check his. Check his form. You know, how are his punches? How are his spin kicks?

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Shane]

You know, you should hire.

[Ian]

Should be a mar. Someone who's good at martial arts.

[Trevor]

A black belt.

[Shane]

A black belt at the very least.

[Trevor]

And just. Yeah. And if he can't defend himself, he gets his ass kicked. Go comment that it's a win, win.

[Ian]

Go comment that.

[Trevor]

Yeah, I think we figured this out. But first, obviously, yeah, the hospital is take care of that first.

[Shane]

She's at the hospital now.

[Trevor]

And then get your husband's ass kicked.

[Shane]

Yeah, get his ass kicked. It's like kind of one of those where every Reddit post has a comment that's like, they're cheating. And it's kind of like, okay. But the second she's like, yeah, he did cheat in his previous relationship, it's like.

[Trevor]

And was proud of it and was.

[Shane]

Like loud and proud and gaslighted his ex. I'm just like, oh, well now, now. Yeah, I believe it. Because he also is just Smosh reads.

[Sponsor Voice]

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[Shane]

Like he gives a shit about you. Yeah. So all signs are pointing to that now. Every medical thing related to this, it gets amplified by the fact that she's pregnant. Like, I keep forgetting that aspect. It's like any small medical thing is so much more serious when you're pregnant.

[Trevor]

Sure.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Shane]

That's just a whole other aspect to it. Yeah.

[Ian]

I feel like I just. If someone, you know, if my partner for any reason, even if it's not like a visible, like, giant thing on your arm, if they're like, hey, I don't feel right, I think, like, I need to go to the hospital. There is never a situation where I'm like, ah, sorry. I don't think that's gonna, like, let's get you there. Like, I'm gonna find a way to get you to a hospital if you feel like you need to go.

[Shane]

I could never imagine in a million years being like, I'm gonn leave you alone while you're. Especially when there's kids. I'm like, dude, you don't care about anybody in this situation. Well, there's no more updates, but I'm glad she went to the hospital. It sounds like she's having a revelation. Hopefully.

[Ian]

Let's hope for the best.

[Shane]

She's in a better place now. All right, our next story comes from True off my chest. This was posted 2025 op writes. I was ugly sobbing at the doctors. Then the most embarrassing yet hilarious thing happened to me. So today I went to complete a form at the doctor's office for my nursing program at university, and they said it cost $160. I sat down and I just straight up started crying to myself because I'm so comically broke, it's insane. I was called in not too long after and the doctor asked what was wrong. I just sobbed uncontrollably that I was only 17 and didn't know how I was supposed to pay for everything. Like, so ugly. I'm talking snot and tears running down my face like nobody's business. He sat in silence for a bit, then said he'd waive the fee for me. And then of course, my bum ass cried more because it meant so much to me. I thanked him for his kindness. Then my snot started dripping like a melting icicle as I'm blowing my nose. He asked me to come and check something, and lo and behold, I get up and drop my tissue. I immediately bend down to get it, but the room is so small and I'm proximity blind. So my ass hits the chair and Rocket launches me face first into the wall right next to him. And to make it worse, as I pull away, I leave an imprint of my tear soaked, snotty face on the wall. I got up with my face red, snotty, and wet, and straight up laughed. The stupidest, most low IQ laugh known to mankind. Because, like, what is even going on right now? I then stood there with the composure of a dumbfounded brick. And as the remnants of my face plant of doom haunted me a few inches away, the doctor turned away and stifled a laugh, then asked if I was fine. And all I could do was wish I pretended I passed out with my face glued to the wall by my snot so I wouldn't have had to face him again. Whoa, dude.

[Ian]

All right, that's pretty funny.

[Shane]

And then they died. Yeah. Just dead.

[Trevor]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Pretty good. Wow. Yeah. So that happened to this person how?

[Ian]

Yeah, you have to have a lot of moisture on your face for it to leave an imprint.

[Trevor]

I just imagine it was like they hit the wall. It was like just skidding, just slowly sliding down. Just face first.

[Shane]

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

[Trevor]

So there's says is that I was gonna make a. I don't know.

[Shane]

Okay, well.

[Trevor]

Cause he said it was. Cause it's medical. And he said, this is the subreddit chew off my chest. I was like, oh, it's gonna be a mastectomy story.

[Ian]

That's fun.

[Shane]

Hey. Hey.

[Ian]

It's funny.

[Shane]

Truly. True, true.

[Trevor]

I don't know. This is the joke. This is the joke I had bouncing.

[Sponsor Voice]

Around.

[Trevor]

That off my.

[Sponsor Voice]

I get it.

[Trevor]

Hey.

[Ian]

True. Off my chest.

[Trevor]

Yeah.

[Shane]

This reminds me of how, like, I do feel. And I think this is common of people to feel kind of embarrassed at the doctor or being like, nervous about anything, you know, like, we're just like, no. Doctors see so much stuff every day. Oh, yeah. It's not gonna be embarrassing.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Shane]

I went to a dermatologist for the first time in my adult life recently. Cause I was just like, oh, I've never gotten a checkup. Like, I should just make sure it's good. And then of course, like, I go in and they're like, yeah, so I need you to, like, basically strip down to just your underwear, and we'll come in and check. And then I was just kind of like. I was just kind of like, right, of course they need to look at my skin. But I'm just sitting there just kind of like this. I hope this is weird. I'm just like, this is really weird. But I'm like, they've looked at so many people today.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Shane]

And like, so the doctor then comes in. He's just kind of like, all right, yeah. I'm just looking around me. I'm just kind of like, whatever. Cause, like, as. As someone who's not doing that all day every day, you recognize how weird the situation is. But for a doctor, completely normal. But for her, smashing face first into a wall, that's super embarrassing. And she should feel embarrassed. He's never seen that before in his life.

[Ian]

That's true.

[Shane]

Nobody's ever seen that before in their life.

[Ian]

I gotta believe that doctors probably love stuff like that. Cause I'm sure that they deal with a lot of difficult things, like sad, difficult, whatever it is. And then for them to just have someone do something that funny. It's probably like, that was probably like, a nice little bright spot on his day.

[Shane]

I think so.

[Trevor]

I think so.

[Shane]

You gave him a nice Looney Tunes moment.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Comments? Nothing in life is free. You had to pay up somehow, someone said. I've been a supervisor before, specializing in the onboarding department. I would go through many candidates a week. I would hire you. Why? Because you're genuine. That's all. You did great. Give yourself some slack. Let your human self be human for a moment. Yeah, yeah. Prime nurse material, you know, that's what they're saying. That's what.

[Trevor]

I don't know if I'd want My nurse.

[Shane]

I hear that's what they're looking for.

[Trevor]

Falling face first into things.

[Shane]

When your nurse comes in to save your life. But there's a banana peel on the floor. Wait, I'll save you.

[Trevor]

Ooh, there's a banana and there's a rake on the ground. She steps on kaboom, slides through the.

[Ian]

Wall and leaves a perfect silhouette.

[Trevor]

Yeah.

[Shane]

I am imagining. I know this didn't happen. I'm imagining, like, she, like, went into the wall. Like, it smashed into the wall. Ah, fun. Fun to visualize.

[Trevor]

Love it.

[Shane]

All right, our next story comes from. Am I the asshole? This was posted in April of 2024. Am I the asshole for not paying hospital bills after my friend tripped over my dog?

[Trevor]

Oh, okay. We got ourselves a little dilemma here.

[Shane]

Got ourselves a dilemma. Okay. Yesterday, my friends and I were hanging out in the park. Me plus my dog, my friend Kathy, plus her dog, and another friend, Jenny. Jenny was walking Kathy's dog, and they were walking ahead of us. Kathy was walking a bit behind me and my dog. Kathy decided that she wanted to catch up with Jenny, so she started running from behind me. As Kathy ran past me and My dog, she fell and tripped. We thought it was a minor injury, but it turns out she dislocated her shoulder and needs surgery. And Kathy says that while she was running past us, my dog suddenly ran toward her and she tripped over my dog. Honestly, I didn't see clearly how exactly she tripped. I couldn't tell if my dog actually ran into her or if she tripped over my dog on her own. My dog didn't make a sound and didn't seem bothered. Jenny also said she couldn't tell. Kathy wants me to pay her hospital bills because she says it's my dog's fault that she tripped. But I feel like it's unfair for her to ask this. If my dog had bit her or attacked her, obviously that'd be a different story and I would 100% pay all the medical bills. But in this instance, Jenny and I are both unsure if whether my dog ran into Kathy, whether Kathy tripped over my dog, or whether Kathy tripped by herself near my dog. Kathy started running from behind me, so I didn't have a clear view of what happened. The money isn't a big deal, but out of principle, I don't want to pay the bills because I feel like this isn't my fault. Am I the asshole? Edit, by the way, my dog is a corgi.

[Trevor]

So pretty small, low to the ground.

[Shane]

Not big enough to knock anyone over. But you could definitely trip if he ran into you while you were running. Edit number two. Kathy is my co worker. We've been hanging out more, so I started to think of her as my friend. But we are coworkers. We work together in the same smallish office, which also makes things a little more awkward.

[Trevor]

I mean, like, the thing. The thing is, like, Kathy's the one that's making this awkward. Like, I think, like, I think if the dog's on a leash, I don't think it's the owner's responsibility. Because, like, I could see, like, if you're. If you're at a dog park or something and a big dog barreling towards you, hits your leg, breaks your leg or whatever, then I'd say, yeah, yeah, that's on the owner. But this person was doing the running, not the dog.

[Shane]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Trevor]

I don't think she owes Kathy jack squat.

[Shane]

I don't either.

[Ian]

I don't think there's a way you can cut this situation. Like, even if the dog did run into her, she's the one that decided to run. And you never know how a dog's gonna react. If you start moving fast, out of nowhere, my dog can just be laying on the floor. And if I get up from the couch too fast, he's like, you wanna fight? You just like you're running around a dog, and if the dog gets underneath you, like, it's a dog, it's a small dog, it's an animal that's on you as a human to be responsible.

[Trevor]

Also, the dog didn't get hurt or.

[Shane]

Didn'T yelp or anything. Didn't yelp or anything.

[Trevor]

That's almost making me think, like, she didn't even trip on the dog.

[Shane]

The contact is questionable. Sounds like just a skill issue.

[Trevor]

Yeah. Yeah. And I'm no lawyer, but I think if you agree to pay for her medical bills, then you're admitting responsibility. And then what happens if she's like, oh, actually, I need physical therapy for my shoulder too. And you're like, no, I don't wanna do that. Then she sues you, and she's like, well, you paid for this. You admitted fault. I don't know. I'm just thinking, America brain right now.

[Shane]

No, for sure. It certainly gets into, like, murky territory of, like, if you're just running and you run into someone, can you blame them for your injury? You're just like, nah, man. You chose to run. There's obstacles. You're on a hiking trail. You're not like, I don't know.

[Ian]

This just reminded. This just unlocked a memory. I was a kid one time. There's this park down the street from my house, and, God, I had to have been, like, 8 years old, probably. I was in elementary school, and someone had their dog off of a leash, and they were just playing fetch, and I didn't see. And then there was just a ball on the ground, like a tennis ball.

[Trevor]

And I went and picked up the.

[Ian]

Ball, and this dog just barreling and just completely sweeps my legs out from under me. And I literally did a flip and just, like, landed. And I was like, what the. And then I just went. I just walked home.

[Shane]

Yeah, I didn't even talk to the person.

[Ian]

I didn't talk. The person didn't talk to me. Like, the dog just, like, took me out, grabbed the ball, and I was like, all right, guess I'm going home. I wasn't meant to be outside.

[Shane]

Videos of dogs just absolutely leveling people or kids. Hilarious.

[Trevor]

Kind of funny.

[Ian]

No, it was like, I wish I had a video and could see from, like, an outsider's perspective. Cause I remember. I remember, like, genuine. My legs flying up in the air.

[Shane]

No, like when a dog's just going and they just barrel into someone's. Very funny. I also love videos. Not quite the same, but where people are walking and a cat will be waiting somewhere and just like fucking smack them in the face. That shit's hilarious. See, when you see videos of cats doing that stuff, it's so intentional. Yeah, Dogs do it by accident.

[Trevor]

Yeah, right.

[Shane]

Cats are actually like, no, I meant to hit you.

[Trevor]

Yeah, that's great.

[Shane]

Verdict. Not the asshole. Okay, comments. Accidents are why one has health insurance. Not the asshole. Also, keep in mind that if you consent to pay, you may open up a Pandora's box of issues. Lingering pain in the future, physical rehabilitation, pain and suffering, et cetera. 6,000 upvotes. Someone said, not the asshole. This was all Kathy's fault. She came from behind so you could not see her and she was the one running into your dog. Don't pay. She was negligent and injured herself. Someone responded to that? Yep. If anything, she rear ended that dog and therefore is 100% liable. Someone said, not the asshole. But also, tell me you're American without telling me you're American. Someone responded to that, saying, the asshole is the American health care system. True?

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah, sure.

[Shane]

Lastly, someone said, kathy can get fucked here. Frankly, fuck Kathy. She decided to run and ran into a damn corgi. Tell her ass to eat her vegetables and a glass of milk. Cause she's fragile as shit.

[Trevor]

Oh my God.

[Shane]

Oh, man.

[Trevor]

Is there a picture of the corgi?

[Shane]

No.

[Trevor]

Aw, what's the fucking point? What's the point?

[Ian]

It's the poster's fault. That's what they're the asshole for.

[Shane]

Okay?

[Trevor]

They're the asshole.

[Shane]

Not including a picture of the asshole. Yeah, that's how it goes. Next story also comes from, am I the asshole? This was posted in 2023. Am I the asshole for refusing to remove my medical equipment during my sister's wedding? Oh, my sister is getting married next weekend and I'm a bridesmaid. I'm a type 1 diabetic and I wear two medical devices. A Dexcom blood sugar monitor on one arm and a Omnipod insulin pump on the other. They're both really small, under 2 inches each, and work together to automatically monitor and regulate my blood sugar levels. This basically means I don't have to prick my fingers to test blood sugar or give myself insulin injections. The system does that automatically and makes my life way easier. Today when we were trying on our dresses, my sister told me she wants me to not wear them during the wedding because the gowns are sleeveless and the devices will look ugly in the photos. I told her I wasn't okay removing them. They're essential medical equipment, and I'm not going to put myself in a position to affect my health just for some photos. My sister complained to our mother and some of our friends, and they are all taking her side. They say it's no big deal if I just don't wear them during the wedding, but I don't see why I should. Mom suggested I could move them to my stomach, but I've tried that before and find it incredibly uncomfortable. When I put a new sensor on, I'm stuck with it for 10 days until it expires and I can switch to a new one. And I don't want to be stuck with one on my stomach where it will bother me the entire time. They're all complaining that I'm not willing to compromise at all. But I don't think my health should be in an area where. Where anyone can ask, would I compromise at all? Am I the asshole?

[Trevor]

That's insane, dude.

[Shane]

That's unbelievable.

[Trevor]

Actually, your health isn't important. What's important is these photos looking real nice. And you have that ugly little thing on your arm.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Trevor]

That's insane.

[Shane]

Yeah. How hurtful and insensitive is that remark, too? Because this is something she wears daily.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Shane]

And her sister's going, yeah, that ugly shit you have on, it's like, damn dumb, stupid fucking thing. So this is how you think I look all the time because of this?

[Trevor]

The thing that keeps you alive?

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Trevor]

Healthy now.

[Ian]

For my brother's wedding, I had, like, sprained my ankle really bad. And I was in a boot. And I was in a boot. So for the pictures, I took off the boot, you know, and then I just put it back on, and that was like, a very simple thing, you know, I just took it off for a few minutes to do the pictures. But for something that's literally like a medical device for, like, diabetes, like that. That is on you insane ass. Like, that is.

[Shane]

So.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Shane]

It's also a small device, said less than 2 inches each. It's just like, okay.

[Trevor]

Some people just get so obsessed with, like, the aesthetics of a wedding.

[Shane]

Yeah. And it's just like, hey, like, there's color schemes, there's certain themes. Fine. But when it gets to, like, no change who you are as a human being for this, that's always where they're in the wrong. The verdict was not the asshole. Also unfortunate. And this just seems, like, always the Case when we read wedding Reddit stories where the mom and other people side with the person who's shitty, it just always feels like, yeah, the shitty person's gonna have more people backing them for some reason.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Trevor]

I mean, I think there's just a lot of misunderstanding around, you know, like, medical equipment and diabetes and that kind of stuff. And people think it's optional, I guess. And.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Shane]

And it's easy for them to say it to someone, to be like, oh, just move it to somewhere else. It's just like, you're not the one who has to deal with it like they are.

[Ian]

Yeah, no, and you're right, because it's clear that she feels a certain type of way about it all the time. Cause it's something that she noticed and brought up. If I was in that situation, I wouldn't even think of that. I feel like I wouldn't ever look at that and be like, oh, no. It's something that she notices and is always looking at or always thinking of. Often that it was a big enough deal for her to be like, I don't want that in my picture. Which is just, like, uncomfortable.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Trevor]

It doesn't really matter what everyone else thinks. Cause if it's related to your health, it's none of your business.

[Shane]

Of course, 100%, I agree with that. But what an awful situation for OP because now her sister's done that, her mom's taken her side, all of her friends. It's like, oh, I. She now, even after this wedding, whether she does this compromise or not, it's like, you have to move on past that. Knowing now how you're perceived by these people who are supposed to have your back. That's gotta be very hurtful. If it's so dire for the sister. She could probably even talk to OP and just be like, is it cool if I Photoshop it out afterwards? Like, fine, there's that option. As opposed to, hey, really alter all this stuff.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Shane]

That is so crucial to you.

[Trevor]

Yeah, that's a super. I mean, if it's. If it's just like the glucose monitor on your arm, that's super.

[Shane]

Imagine being bothered by it.

[Trevor]

To paint that out in Photoshop, sure.

[Shane]

That'D be easy to do. But even still, I'm like, I just can't imagine being upset about that.

[Ian]

It just communicates, like, it just. Even bringing it up communicates of like, oh, that thing. Like, it's ugly. Like, I don't want it in my photos. Like, that thing, that ugly thing on your arm. Could you, like, move it. Like, even if you don't see, say it like that. That's what you're communicating. It's like that thing isn't aesthetically pleasing. I don't want it in my photos. And that's just like a really shitty thing to do to like.

[Trevor]

I think it's kind of cool. You look like a cyborg.

[Shane]

Yeah, totally. You know cyberpunk.

[Trevor]

Yeah, exactly. It is cyberpunk.

[Shane]

Comments not the Asshole promptly declined the invitation to attend if your sister cares more about her aesthetic wants than your medical needs. 12,000 upvotes someone said seconding this I just got married wearing my Dexcom and Tandem pump. I wore my Dexcom on my lower back, but I normally wear it on my ar. I did so for photos. And you know what? It sucked. My readings were off and I was stressed about that. Looking back, I don't care if you could have seen my Dexcom, because it's a huge part of who I am. Tell your sister to kick rocks if she cares more about her aesthetically pleasing wedding photos than your well being. Yes, someone else said. Not the asshole. Photoshop exists for reasons just like this. Asking you to compromise your health is selfish for them, not to mention unreasonable, someone said. My aunt turned up to my wedding with four stitches in her forehead from surfing that morning. She was also dopey from the meds. The photographer we had just removed them and we didn't notice until he told us he did it.

[Sponsor Voice]

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[Trevor]

Hey, that's awesome.

[Ian]

My aunt was shredding some crazy nara cracked open her skull.

[Trevor]

Didn't matter. I love the idea. Just showing up to a wedding just fucked up.

[Shane]

We could cut this, but I'm also like, oh. And the photographer also made our aunt snatched with huge naturals. It was just like crazy proportions. Like what the hell did you do to our aunt and our uncle too.

[Ian]

I love the idea of we just.

[Trevor]

Asked for a slight touch hug.

[Shane]

Jesus, you gave my uncle just a massive butt.

[Ian]

I love the idea of going to my nephew's wedding and being like, dude, I kind of want to surf this morning. Let me go catch some waves.

[Shane]

I gotta go catch some waves.

[Ian]

Dude.

[Shane]

Someone said, not the asshole. And I am judging your mother hard. Your sister and mother suck. Frankly, who in their right minds asks someone they love to neglect their very serious health issue for aesthetics? A lot of people. A lot of people are just out of their minds at weddings. I don't know what the deal is. Update. Oh my gosh. Thank you so much to everyone for the responses. I didn't expect this post to blow up the way it did at all. So I have an update for everyone. I didn't want to involve others, hoping to settle this between myself and my mom sister. But my brother got wind of what happened last night and absolutely tore my mom and sister a new one about how hurtful it was to suggest I go without my devices just for her wedding photos. He then told my grandfather, who is paying for the wedding. Grandpa apparently drove an hour into town this afternoon just to tell my mother how disappointed he was and that he must have gone wrong somewhere raising her. He told her that if they didn't apologize and make things right, my mom should figure out how to pay for all of the outstanding wedding costs herself. Now, I do think this was a bit extreme. I wasn't looking to cause this much trouble for my mom and sister, but it seems to have worked because they called me to apologize and say it was wrong of them to suggest I just go without my monitor and pump and we can find a way to dress it up instead. I accepted their apologies. We decided to try wearing flower corsages over each device so they can't be seen. If that doesn't work, we can try a shawl, as many of you suggested. Again, thank you for all the support. I'll be giving my grandpa a big hug and buying my little brother dinner tonight as a thank you for having my back on this. Maybe it seems minor to some, but it was really upsetting to me that my own family turned on me when it came to my own health. So it was a really big deal to me that they unconditionally supported me when my mom and sister wouldn't. That's so great.

[Trevor]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Thank you. Thank you. The happy ending.

[Trevor]

Happy ending.

[Ian]

The happy ending.

[Trevor]

And I mean, I think it just, like, you know, I think it was just more of, like, an ignorance thing with the daughter and mom, like, so, I mean, it seems like the apology. I would accept the apology.

[Shane]

Sure. I get that. Cause, like, I know with a lot of weddings, the vibe is like, hey, let's make everything peaceful and right. But I think it's good she stood her ground here. I'm really glad that she had other people back her up. I get that after the apologies and after the acceptance of, okay, you're not gonna have to go through that ordeal to be like, all right, now, I'll keep the peace. I'll accept your apology. We can move on from this as opposed to holding it on them, but happy about this situation.

[Ian]

Happy ending.

[Trevor]

Happy ending. We don't get a lot of those on.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Trevor]

On Reddit. I just, like, pictured the grandfather's like, this oil tycoon guy, and he, like, comes out of his Rolls Royce with his, like, little cane, and he's like, I tell you, if you don't apologize to my granddaughter, I'm cutting you out of the wheel.

[Shane]

I'm picturing the grandpa as the Monopoly man.

[Trevor]

Yeah, exactly.

[Ian]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Shane]

This last story comes from. True. Off my chest.

[Trevor]

You look stressed out.

[Shane]

I am stressed out.

[Ian]

Just gripping his head.

[Shane]

We talked earlier about how doctors see everything all day.

[Trevor]

Sure.

[Shane]

So it's like doctors are not phased. So, like, I was embarrassed to be, you know, basically naked in front of a doctor, but I'm like, oh, for me, I'm just another, like, part of the job.

[Sponsor Voice]

Sure.

[Trevor]

They see a lot of.

[Shane]

I'm special. Just whatever.

[Trevor]

They see a lot of objects and.

[Shane]

A Lot of different holes, right? Yep. But this final title, this was posted in March of 2025. Surgeon made fun of my penis.

[Trevor]

Oh, okay, dude.

[Shane]

Oh, God. Oh my God.

[Trevor]

Surgeon, huh?

[Sponsor Voice]

Okay.

[Shane]

All right, let's see what this is.

[Trevor]

Let's hear him out.

[Ian]

Dude, imagine.

[Shane]

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

[Ian]

Imagine, like getting home from surgery and you like, it's a roommate, partner or whatever, and you're like, ugh, dude, the surgeon made fun of my penis.

[Trevor]

I'm dying now. I'm like dying to know. I want to know details on this man's penis.

[Ian]

Yeah. Is there a photo?

[Trevor]

Is it a funny looking one?

[Shane]

Yeah. Oh, God.

[Trevor]

All right, let's go.

[Shane]

I, 32, male at the time, am a big dude of 2 meters and 120 kilograms. That's 6 foot 6, 250 pounds in Drunk Pirate units and had to have surgery on my calves because of varicose veins. So the day of, I was told to get completely undressed and put on the generic open back gown, which, due to my frame, made me look like Donald Duck, if you know what I mean. I was led to the OR by a nurse and placed on a cold metal table. They administered some local anesthesia to my legs and after about 10 minutes laying naked in a cold, brightly lit room waiting to be sliced up, the two doctors strolled in. I was very anxious, cold and self conscious, so I just stayed still.

[Trevor]

Nurse, he's really saying a lot of cold.

[Shane]

Yeah, he's really cold.

[Trevor]

It's very cold.

[Shane]

And I was just in the pool.

[Trevor]

It was very cold, freezing. Guys, for you guys, see where this is going?

[Shane]

Continue. Nurse says anesthesia was given. Patient ready. Doc one walks to the table. Wow. Big fucker and such a small dick.

[Trevor]

No, no, no, no, you can't just.

[Shane]

Doc 2 laughs, op goes. What? Nurse in a panic. Oh, no, you have the wrong patient file. This one isn't the fully sedated one. He is awake.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yes.

[Ian]

Dude, if I'm awake on an operating table and a doctor thinks I'm asleep and makes a joke about my tiny penis, I don't think I would make a noise. Like, I think I would be so mortified that I'd just be like, that was the worst thing ever.

[Shane]

Like, I might just go into a coma.

[Ian]

I might just die.

[Trevor]

I mean, like, yeah. Wow.

[Shane]

So, yeah, nobody said another word to me for the rest of the operation. Just 200 decibels of awkward silence while they ripped veins out of me. It felt like Ricky Gervais wrote this scene. I should have walked out But I was too shocked to even think when they were done. They exchanged quiet words with the nurse and quickly walked out. It was a bit shocking, but I quickly laughed it off. I mean, they weren't wrong, but man, some people edit. This was 10 years ago. I am fine. Oh, God damn, dude.

[Trevor]

I mean, yeah, of course, because, you know, like, doctors are humans like everybody else. And they're gonna talk, you know.

[Shane]

I know, but there's obviously like a.

[Trevor]

Level of professionalism you're supposed to bring to the workspace and then you go home and you be like, honey, this dude's dude. But yikes.

[Ian]

Yeah. At the very least, if you're gonna make fun of someone's dick, at least try and be funny. At least make something like a little shirt. Like, ooh, didn't realize I ordered the shrimp Alfredo. Like, at least try him.

[Shane]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would respect if they're even attempting something.

[Ian]

If they're attempting some sort of, you.

[Shane]

Know, well thought out job.

[Trevor]

I guess, like, I guess, like, why is it even worth commenting on if I'm a doctor?

[Ian]

Like, I don't wanna. I wouldn't wanna like, look, I would probably try to avoid looking at as many penises as possible. Like, I.

[Shane]

Because you're gonna see so many throughout the day.

[Ian]

It's not something I want to look at. And like, I'm not gonna like, let my, like, like examine it. Like, I'm working on his legs, I'm gonna look at his legs. I'm not gonna like, be like, I think of.

[Trevor]

I think.

[Shane]

But they had the wrong patient file. They didn't know why they were.

[Trevor]

Because it was a local anesthesia. Not a local anesthesia.

[Shane]

So this guy was fully awake.

[Trevor]

Dumbass, read the chart wrong or read the wrong chart. And then it's kind of one of.

[Shane]

Those situations where I'm like, I understand that they thought he was fully sedated, but it's like, dude, you're a professional. I also understand that doctors are just in there all day. This is just like, becomes routine. But it's like, damn, man. I'm still like, you're an asshole. You're like, that's still a really mean thing to be doing and saying. And the way you're talking about patients.

[Trevor]

I mean, it's physicians like that that make people afraid to go to the doctor because they're self conscious about something on their bodies that then they don't want to share with a doctor. They're afraid of that kind of judgment.

[Ian]

So, yeah, commenting on anyone's like, physical appearance in any way. Like that is just like. Yeah, it's just something you don't need to do. It's not like a necessary comments.

[Shane]

Wrong patient file. The do you mean wrong patient file.

[Ian]

When did I just saw a penis?

[Shane]

Okay, what was was.

[Ian]

It was in a show and it was like.

[Trevor]

Was it the chair company? Was it Saltburn?

[Shane]

It was the most recent episode, Chair Company.

[Ian]

And I was at the end, I was like, come on, man.

[Shane]

It was weird.

[Trevor]

It was a weird penis.

[Shane]

No, it was a fake penis. But it was a penis.

[Ian]

It was just. You didn't see it coming.

[Shane]

You really didn't.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Anyways, sometimes you don't. Another comment says, my grandma told me a story like this. She wasn't fully sedated while they had to save her during an ectopic pregnancy. After the doctor came in, they said, oh, boy, she's got some mud mashers on her. I know she ain't happy with those feet. She has a beautiful face, but look at those feet. My grandma wears a size 10 wide for women, so she has big feet, but stands at a solid 5, 3 or 160 centimeters. She couldn't speak, but she wishes she had told them that she heard them after she fully woke up. Op responded. I once worked on a livestreamed operation as a sound guy. Doc had a mic on, walks up to elderly cancer patient, opens the torso, sighs and says, yeah, close her back up. She won't live another month. Let's do lunch. This was streamed live to six universities. Docs are just people, mechanics. Yeah, someone said, just a thought, but have you tried having a bigger penis?

[Trevor]

Dude, hell yeah.

[Shane]

Oh, I should. Oh, man, I never thought about that.

[Ian]

Dude, that's good advice.

[Shane]

Oh, that is really good advice. Wow. Damn.

[Trevor]

I didn't know we'd be talk. Just be on cocktalk for like the last 20 minutes.

[Ian]

That's what happens when you get the guys.

[Trevor]

Unfortunately. Unfortunately, that's just what happens. And you get three boys in a.

[Shane]

Room, that's medical drama. You know what I mean? Heinouses.

[Trevor]

Did this happen on the pit?

[Shane]

Yeah, yeah, probably. That's my favorite part. Did this happen in the live show? We don't know yet.

[Trevor]

We don't know yet. That's true.

[Shane]

Anything could have happened in that live show, which you should check out by going to live.smosh.com. it's probably gonna be pretty wild.

[Trevor]

It's pretty great.

[Shane]

It's pretty good.

[Trevor]

It's pretty great. There's improv, there's things that we. We've written like an entire drama.

[Shane]

We have a full like medical drama in there with also a bunch of improv wildness going on too. So anyways, Trevor, Ian, thank you for joining me. Thank you today.

[Trevor]

Thank you Dr. Topp.

[Ian]

Yeah thank you Dr. Dilf.

[Shane]

Oh wow. It does say that this is your office. This is my office.

[Trevor]

I do sleep here for the podcast listeners. There's a plaque behind me says Dr. Dilf. I had no idea that was the.

[Shane]

And it says MFT. PsyD. PhD. You were in college forever. Yeah, yeah.

[Trevor]

Still are trying out for the bar tomorrow.

[Sponsor Voice]

Nice man.

[Shane]

Add to it Esquire. Pretty sick. Thank you for watching and please go check out our live [e-mail] and we'll see you next Saturday. Bye Bye bye.

[Sponsor Voice]

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