Smosh Reads Reddit Stories: "These Are Their Confessions"

Episode Date: December 20, 2025
Host: Shane Topp
Guests: Chance, Arasha
Theme: Wild Reddit Confessions

Episode Overview

In this episode, Shane, Chance, and Arasha dive into a series of jaw-dropping Reddit confessions covering regretful Bitcoin transactions, fraught romantic relationships, workplace dress code drama, petty tattoo revenge, and a relationship scandal with a tragic ending. They deliver their trademark blend of unfiltered commentary, dark humor, and earnest reflection, exploring how online anonymity brings out secrets people would never share elsewhere.

1. The Bitcoin Escort Regret

Segment Start: [03:04]

Reddit Post Summary:
A man confesses he paid an escort three Bitcoin in 2013 (then worth about $300, now over $350,000) and has obsessively tracked her wallet ever since. Recently, he saw she started cashing it out—triggering intense regret and fixation on his past financial decisions.

Key Discussion:

• Fate and Regret: Hosts compare it to stories of people losing fortunes in early bitcoin days:

  “He seems to be aware that, like, yes, he knows what actually happened. But I know of many stories… of people who had bitcoin and then… lost it.” – Shane [05:54]

• Ownership and Letting Go:

  “It’s not your money anymore. It was a gamble.” – Chance [05:31]

• Empathizing With the Escort:

  “Good for her. That was risky of her to accept it as payment.” – Shane [07:58]

Notable Quote:

“Just tell people that once you had a $350,000 escort and call it a day.” – Shane, paraphrasing a Reddit comment [08:16]

Humorous Spin-off:
A bit about “old people strip clubs” and inclusivity in aging professions, riffing off a relevant Reddit comment. [09:09–10:02]

2. Ashamed of My Long Distance Boyfriend

Segment Start: [12:35]

Reddit Post Summary:
A woman admits she is ashamed of her long-distance boyfriend’s looks. She hides him from her image-obsessed sorority life, despite loving and being attracted to him, because she fears judgment from her social circle.

Key Discussion:

• Harsh Societal Judgment:

  “She wants the world to see her with this conventionally attractive, large, masculine man… even if she was unhappy, she’d be like, well, at least appearance-wise, we look as if we are prim and proper.” – Arasha [18:00]

• Accessory vs. Real Affection:

  “She’s treating him so awfully. To hide someone like that is so cruel… If he knew this, I’d want to know if someone was embarrassed to be with me.” – Shane [22:24]

• Group Reflection:
  • Critique of the woman’s friend group’s mean-spirited comments (“ugly rat,” “troll,” etc.) and skepticism that people would really say such things unless set up.
  • Arasha and Chance speculate she’s projecting her insecurities and perhaps “setting up” coworkers’ negative comments [26:05].

Notable Quotes:

• “You could let that go and you'd feel so much better.” – Shane [23:47]
• “This is the most LA shit I've ever heard.” – Shane [23:35]

3. "Too Much Dick" In the Office

Segment Start: [29:19]

Reddit Post Summary:
An office worker’s boss asks him to stop wearing his usual pants, claiming his “bulge is inappropriate.” He insists the pants are regular business casual and posts a photo for proof; the hosts find them totally normal.

Key Discussion:

• Double Standards:

  “Would a woman with large breasts be told she can’t wear anything but baggy clothes?” – Shane [30:29]

  • Commentary from a Reddit poster confirms women are also policed for their bodies.
• Power Abuse and Escalation:
  • The boss offers to “supervise his shopping" if the company is expected to pay for new pants – causing an HR investigation and administrative leave for the boss.

  “I need to supervise your shopping is unbelievable!” – Chance [41:25]

• Legal Perspective:

  “If she hadn’t responded to his emails with ‘this is not a request,’ he would be stuck.” – Shane [41:53]

Memorable Moment:
Finding the situation so normal, they're convinced the issue is with management, not the employee, and are floored when the boss wants to literally go shopping with him. [40:22]

4. The Wild “Pick-Me” Tattoo Plot

Segment Start: [43:56]

Reddit Post Summary:
A woman describes lying to her "pick-me" frenemy about her tattoo plans (fake story about a Spirited Away dragon sleeve). The friend, trying to one-up her, rushes to get the exact fake tattoo, plus copies another friend’s music tattoo. The hosts marvel at how petty it is to “ruin your own skin” for revenge.

Key Discussion:

• Insecurity and Identity:

  “Her motivation is to upset this other person. And you’re willing to get a permanent tattoo on your entire arm because you think that’s going to really upset them?” – Arasha [48:42]

• Copycat Bullying:

  “She is stuck in that line of thinking as a 25-year-old… like a five-year-old who just wants the toy someone else has.” – Shane [53:02]

• Takeaway:
  • The group is equally bemused and impressed by the dedication and self-own of “winning” a petty contest by permanently altering your body.

Notable Quotes:

“I want to see how far people could go… like ‘I’m going to strap meat to myself and go to an alligator swamp.’” – Shane [53:41]

5. Affair Guilt and Tragedy: The Story Unfolds

Segment Start: [55:42]

Reddit Post Summary:
A man confesses that his negligence contributed to his affair partner’s death (she suffered an allergic reaction, used an EpiPen, he didn't take her to the hospital). He’s wracked with guilt as his personal and professional life falls apart.

Key Discussion:

• Conspicuous Lack of Remorse:

  “At no point in this story do I believe this guy loves anyone… Amy’s the real deal, but she dies and he says nothing about her.” – Shane [64:02]

• Selfishness Laid Bare:

  “All he’s talking about is his world collapsing… someone died and there’s no guilt or grief.” – Shane [61:37]

• Update/Twist:
  • In a follow-up, OP claims the affair partner was manipulating him for money/promotions and that he’s now at peace, feeling “no responsibility” for her death.
  • Hosts are appalled by the narcissism and the “pivot to victimhood,” as OP quickly absolves himself of any fault.

  “Now that you’re finding this information, it’s justifying all your horrible thoughts and self-centeredness.” – Shane [70:36]

Comments Read Aloud:

• “Everything that’s about to happen to you is your karma.” – Reddit commenter [65:32]
• “She was an adult who had a better understanding of her medical needs… Nothing to do with me.” – OP’s update [69:06]

6. The Co-Worker's Perspective: Layers of Truth

Segment Start: [75:45]

Reddit Post Summary:
A former coworker reveals new context: the OP in the previous story suffered a traumatic brain injury that affected his judgment, making his actions more complex. The company was corrupt and enabled both his and the affair partner’s misconduct, and even more drama is exposed about office politics and ethics.

Key Discussion:

• Nuance and Hidden Factors:

  “Whenever we get a third-party perspective… there’s always so much more crucial information.” – Shane [82:10]

• Brain Injury’s Role:

  “If you met him on a good day, you could spend a few hours with him and not realize… but there’s definitely something wrong here.” – Reddit co-worker [80:56]

• Muddying the Moral Waters:
  • The co-worker suggests both the affair partner and the company took advantage of OP’s diminished capacity.

Reflection:

• Hosts acknowledge how “real-life” is always more complex than initial impressions from anonymous confessions.
• Distressing note on how workplace environments and health circumstances shape behavior [83:01].

Most Memorable and Notable Quotes

• On Letting Go of Regret:

  “It’s not about fixing the past, but at least I don’t have to obsessively check an old address to remind myself what I lost.” – Shane, reading Reddit confession [05:16]

• On Image and Relationships:

  “She views partners as accessories. That’s the part of her brain that needs to go.” – Chance [19:26]

• On Petty Tattoo Rivalry:

  “You got a huge tattoo because you think it’ll upset someone else? Is this a sketch?” – Shane [50:51]

• On Self-Justifying Wrongdoing:

  “You can become a worse person when you start justifying bad things to yourself. You lower the bar in your own mind.” – Shane [74:26]

Section Timestamps

• Bitcoin Escort Regret: [03:04 – 10:02]
• Long Distance Boyfriend Shame: [12:35 – 29:12]
• Workplace Dress Code Bulge: [29:19 – 43:20]
• Tattoo Copycat Revenge: [43:56 – 55:27]
• Affair and Tragedy Confession: [55:42 – 75:44]
• Coworker’s Inside Perspective: [75:45 – 85:39]

Tone and Host Dynamics

The Smosh cast maintains a blend of biting humor, empathy, and candid reflection—never shying away from roasting poor decisions, but pausing for genuine analysis around society’s pressures and the hidden factors shaping “villains.” Their snark is balanced with earnest cultural critiques (“LA ranking yourself by appearance,” “letting go of shame”), and genuine discomfort at more disturbing confessions.

For More:
Check out the original Reddit posts (especially the coworker’s AMA) for further follow-ups and extra tea—as well as next week’s Smosh Reads Reddit Stories for more jaw-dropping online confessions!