You'll Pay For This | Reading Reddit Stories

Summary

Smosh Reads Reddit Stories: "You'll Pay For This | Reading Reddit Stories"

Episode Date: August 8, 2026
Host: Shane Topp
Guests: Ian Hecox, Anthony Padilla
Theme: Payback & Revenge

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Shane leads Ian and Anthony through a collection of Reddit tales centered on the theme of "revenge" and "petty payback." The dynamic trio balances their signature irreverent humor with sharp commentary, dissecting each story for its justice, pettiness, and memorable cringe moments. The episode covers stories ranging from workplace snack wars to relationship drama worthy of a sitcom (or soap opera), always with plenty of laughter and tangents.

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Key Discussion Points & Story Breakdowns

1. Opening Banter: "The Best Revenge is Living Well"

[01:00–03:00]

• The hosts muse over the concept of revenge, sharing that they love revenge tales but aren't keen on living them.
  • "At one point in my life I thought it would be so satisfying to get revenge...but how much of my life am I thinking about this…I'm getting revenge on myself at this point." — Anthony [02:14]
  • Shane brings up the popular phrase: "Living well is the best revenge."
• They joke about old resentments dating back to high school and playfully threaten each other with future vengeance.

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2. Story #1: Creamy Girl vs. The Drive-Thru Monster

[04:22–18:12]

• Reddit Source: r/PettyRevenge
• Summary:
  A 19-year-old fast-food worker shares her escalating battle with a hostile elderly customer who not only berates her about slow service but repeatedly calls her “creamy girl” (gross) over his demanding custom lattes. One day, after an explosive meltdown, she pours his cream-laden coffee over the roof and window of his car ("his Fiat Panda")—not on him, but as a petty act of rebellion. The man ends up getting arrested after lashing out at staff and police.
• Notable Quote:
  • "He would call me his creamy girl. With a shit-eating grin on his face." — Reddit OP, read by Ian [07:17]
  • "This man makes five times what I do. When the opportunity came for him to fight for raises for us, he didn’t. And now he is coming into our office and stealing our gifts and eating our rich man’s nuts." — Reddit OP, read by Ian [53:47]
• Hosts’ Take:
  • All support the OP, arguing the customer is abusive, entitled, and "weaponizing his age."
  • Anthony: "If you're this specific about your coffee, why are you going to McDonald's? Like, bro." [14:36]
  • Shane: "Old people act like the customer is always right, because that's what was hammered into them." [12:33]
  • Ian calls out fast-food managers for not banning abusive regulars sooner; all agree that standing up for yourself isn’t being “the asshole.”
  • "This guy's calling this 16-year-old his creamy girl in front of his wife. I think she's allowed to dump a latte on his Fiat." — Ian [17:10]

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3. Story #2: The Cosplay Showdown — Exes, Insecurities, and a Friend Group Meltdown

[19:01–35:10]

• Reddit Source: r/AmItheAsshole
• Summary:
  OP (22F), an avid cosplayer and recent breakup survivor, is thriving post-breakup with self-care and confidence. She debuts a striking cosplay at a convention, but her ex’s new girlfriend feels threatened and makes snide “slut-shaming” remarks (“Why would I need more attention from guys? I'm not a slut.” [21:43]). OP finally snaps back, and a screaming match erupts, ending in their group being thrown out of a restaurant. Later, the ex tries to force OP to apologize or risk group rupture.
  • Update: The ex and his girlfriend, plus a couple siding friends, leave the group after OP stands her ground.
• Notable Quotes:
  • "Calling OP a slut in front of everyone—that’s crazy. It got into such a screaming match they got kicked out." — Ian [23:32]
  • "If you have to apologize, it’s only if she apologizes for all the stuff she did first.” — Shane [30:25]
  • "He’s trying to control OP and the friend group… it’s just like, dude, fuck you." — Ian [31:59]
• Hosts’ Take:
  • They diagnose the new girlfriend’s jealousy/insecurity and criticize the ex for trying to police OP's choices.
  • Ian/Anthony note emotional immaturity is a big factor.
  • They reflect that friend groups with dating history are inherently volatile, and standing up for yourself matters more than “keeping the peace” when someone is out of line.

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4. Story #3: True Off My Chest — "Revenge Served with a Side of Sibling Drama"

[37:47–52:15]

• Reddit Source: r/TrueOffMyChest
• Summary:
  A man (25M) laments that after he cheated on his partner of 10 years with her childhood friend, she “got revenge” by sleeping with his brother—Louis, the "golden child." He’s devastated, claiming she should have broken up with him first.
• Notable Quotes:
  • "My heart dropped to my stomach because Louis is my big brother." — Reddit OP, read by Ian [39:29]
  • "You already chose her childhood best friend… Like, so that it wouldn’t have been too hurtful?" — Ian [41:47]
  • "Everyone here sucks." — Shane [42:38]
• Hosts’ Take:
  • The group collectively has zero sympathy for the OP, calling out his hypocrisy ("Why didn’t she just break up with me?"—"buddy, we could ask the same of you.").
  • All agree this is actual “revenge” and cite the situation as an example of why lingering in a dead relationship is disastrous for everyone.
  • "The deception is what really gets people. No one wants to be lied to, repeatedly." — Anthony [48:48]
  • "Cheating really messes with people in their head. Getting away with it seems like it does something to your brain.” — Ian [50:08]
  • Some brief sympathy for OP’s pain, but not for his predicament.

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5. Story #4: Nuts for Revenge — "Rich Man's Nut" Workplace Pettiness

[52:54–60:43]

• Reddit Source: r/PettyRevenge
• Summary:
  An office worker’s boss regularly steals premium snacks (“the rich man’s nut”—pistachios) from their department’s rare gift baskets. Fed up, the OP eats the whole bag of nuts at once so the boss can’t have any.
• Notable Quotes:
  • "I am full of rich man’s nut while he cannot take anymore." — Reddit OP, read by Ian [56:24]
  • "If Robin Hood ate the gold coins." — Ian [57:11]
• Hosts’ Take:
  • All laugh at the overkill of eating all the pistachios (“He cut off his balls to save his wiener.” — Shane [57:19]).
  • Anthony suggests better options (“If you really want to put in the time…just give him a bunch of shells.” [59:09]).
  • Consensus: Revenge would be sweeter if the boss got tricked, not the OP's stomach.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• "When I was Chucky [at Chuck E. Cheese], the kids were fucking evil assholes. Always kicking my shins and pulling on Chucky’s tooth." — Shane [15:57]
• "This is the friend group. You guys have to operate as your own." — Ian [29:54]
• "If anyone sleeps with my childhood friend, I’m gonna sleep with their brother." — Anthony [61:02]
• "If Robin Hood ate the gold coins." — Ian [57:11]

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Important Timestamps

• [01:00] — Main theme intro: Petty and delicious revenge
• [04:22] — First story: Drive-thru “cream girl” tale
• [19:01] — Cosplay convention/Ex drama begins
• [22:07] — Restaurant screaming match fallout
• [33:14] — Ex's girlfriend and friends leave the friend group
• [37:47] — Cheating/backfire “revenge” story begins
• [52:54] — "Rich man’s nut" office story

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Structural/Meta Highlights

• Regular callbacks to Smosh lore (e.g., Chosen cosplay, Defy Media M&Ms).
• Each story is met with a blend of empathy, honest critique, and wild hypothetical “how would you get revenge?” tangent.
• Frequent audience-facing takeaways: “Stand up for yourself,” “trust is everything,” and “sometimes petty is just… appropriate.”

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Tone & Closing Thoughts

The Smosh team leans into humor, playful exaggeration, and collective catharsis, but also demonstrate insight into why revenge appeals to us—and why it usually makes little sense in real-life relationships. The “crazy brother” cheating saga is crowned the episode’s “peak revenge,” while the workplace and cosplay stories remind listeners that sometimes all you need is a good boundary (and maybe a backup bag of pistachios).

Anthony closes with:
"If anyone sleeps with my childhood friend, I'm gonna sleep with their brother." [61:02]

Shane’s closing reflection:
"That's peak vengeance. The rest was kind of silly, but still good." [60:56]

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Listen for:

• Roasting of workplace moochers
• Nuanced (but hilarious) takes on friend group politics
• Deep Reddit lore and cosplay appreciation
• Outlandishly specific revenge hypotheticals

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For listeners seeking both laughter and relatable wrongs-righted, this episode delivers pettiness and punchlines galore.

Transcript

[Anthony]

Meet Keith loving dad board game champ, bus driving pro. I drive 65,000 miles in my bus each year. If people knew what I know, lives could be saved. Like how there are some things I simply can't see on my route. The other day a car tried to sneak past me and ends up right in my blind spot. I turn slowly so accident avoided. But no car should be in the blind spot for a 40,000 pound bus. It's our roads, it's our safety. Visit www.sharetherodesafely.gov Queen Carvania stood haloed by the morning sun. An army hung on her every word.

[Ian]

My champions, I have sold my chariot on Carvana. Twas a lovely suv, an inexplicably queenly offer. They're even coming to the castle to collect it. Tonight we feast. An offer you can feast on. Sell your car today on Carv.

[Shane]

Pick up fees may apply.

[Ian]

This episode of Red Stories is sponsored by Doordash Got yout Delivered. Doordash. Hello, welcome to Smosh Reads Reddit Stories. I'm Shane and today's theme is payback. That's right, it's all about vengeance. And I'm joined by two guests who are carefully plotting vengeance upon one another. Ian and Anthony are joining us.

[Anthony]

Been plotting it for years.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Yeah. I got a bucket of rotten fish right above Anthony and I'm gonna yank a.

[Ian]

This whole buying back smosh and running this company together, it's all just an elaborate plot to get payback on one of them.

[Anthony]

Is it payback on me for having left for those six years? Are you waiting what's gonna happen?

[Ian]

It's something that happened in high school probably. It probably goes way.

[Anthony]

Yeah, There's a bunch of. There's a bunch of shit there.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Maybe like one day you didn't give me a ride home or something.

[Anthony]

I had somewhere else to be.

[Ian]

Tough.

[Anthony]

I had somewhere else to be. You weren't gonna bring that up?

[Shane]

One of his girlfriends that he didn't make out with.

[Ian]

God, these women, they just gotta be

[Anthony]

made out with sometimes.

[Ian]

How do we feel about vengeance, revenge?

[Shane]

I feel like it's probably not healthy, but I do love a good revenge tale.

[Anthony]

I love a good revenge tale. As long as it doesn't involve me. Like, I don't wanna be the one on either end of it. I feel like at one point in my life I thought that it would be so satisfying get revenge on people that wronged me. But I'm like, how much of my brain power and life am I spending thinking about this that I'M getting revenge on myself at this point.

[Shane]

It's not worth it, I think. What is the phrase? It's like living well is the best revenge.

[Ian]

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

[Anthony]

That's a good point.

[Ian]

Being actually happy and moving on from someone, I get that it's fun to play out the fantasy of revenge. Oh, yeah.

[Shane]

In certain situations.

[Ian]

But it's like in la, the amount of times someone cuts you off on the road, you imagine, like, how could I.

[Shane]

Great example.

[Ian]

But it's like the safest and best option is for me to forget about this.

[Shane]

Yes.

[Ian]

And live my life.

[Shane]

Most people own guns here.

[Ian]

I mean, tr.

[Anthony]

I didn't even go there. Jesus.

[Ian]

No, no, actually, that is. That is my brain. Whenever people talk about, like, oh, if I was on the street and someone bumped into me or said something rude, I would do this. I'd be like, I'm not trying to get killed.

[Anthony]

No, I'm trying to get out of there.

[Ian]

Yeah, I'm trying to. I imagine the types of stories we're gonna read today are a little bit more about the calculated revenge. Not like intense violence. Probably more along the lines of petty squabbles, whatever.

[Anthony]

I'm excited to hear the stories that I'm involved in.

[Ian]

I am very entertained by reading them.

[Shane]

Have you ever taken revenge on anyone, Anthony?

[Anthony]

Taken revenge?

[Shane]

Maybe somebody messed up your Taco Bell order. No.

[Anthony]

Are you alluding to something?

[Ian]

It feels like you're alluding to something.

[Shane]

No.

[Anthony]

Yeah. You're not talking about the time I spit in your food, right? That's not.

[Shane]

You're not.

[Anthony]

The time.

[Ian]

You know, information you just found out about.

[Anthony]

The time you just found out about. I don't know. I mean, I don't think so.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Anthony]

At least nothing substantial enough to have stuck in my memory. I'm sure there are little things like, I don't know.

[Ian]

Well, if it comes back to you at some point in this episode, feel free to bring it up.

[Anthony]

Halfway through the episode, I'm like, oh, yeah.

[Ian]

Oh my God, I slashed your tires.

[Anthony]

Yeah. Yeah. All my revenge is specifically against you.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Ian]

Well, you brought up fast food and that gets us into our first story.

[Shane]

Wow.

[Anthony]

Good segue, Ian.

[Ian]

This first story comes from petty revenge. It was posted a couple years ago. They write I got payback on an awful regular at my fast food job.

[Shane]

Mm. Okay.

[Anthony]

Okay.

[Ian]

So I, a 19 year old girl, quit my crappy job recently at a fast food chain that has a certain arch and remembered this story, which I thought was funny.

[Shane]

Wendy's?

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Anthony]

Yeah, the one arch.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Well, the w Is kind of like the Taco Bell.

[Ian]

You know, there's the arch.

[Anthony]

Oh, the arch.

[Ian]

Of the bell.

[Shane]

Of the bell.

[Anthony]

Yeah, there you go.

[Shane]

So many arches. They gotta be more specific.

[Anthony]

Yeah.

[Ian]

Unfortunately this is a very true story. I know, it's a bit ridiculous. We had these regulars that would come through the drive through nearly every day and I was always the one handing food out the window. They were an older couple and I was happy to make accommodations to make handing them food and drinks easier. However, it became increasingly difficult to allow their awful attitude towards me for context. My branch of the restaurant was one of five in my town, but the rest were 20ish minutes away, which we were the worst rated as we were small but extremely busy as a result and run by literal teenagers half the time. Lunch and dinner rushes were a mess as managers were more concerned with stats than actually running the place. Well, this couple would come through at our busiest time and order the same thing. Shouting at the order taker payment window and me for how slow we were. Our small kitchen was unable to accommodate how busy we got. So wait times were often 300 plus seconds. Supposed to be 120 seconds. Okay, so that's five minutes. Doing that quick math. Yeah, five minutes.

[Shane]

Five minutes now. Okay, so five minutes, you're waiting five

[Ian]

minutes at a drive through. That doesn't seem atrocious.

[Anthony]

That's not too crazy.

[Shane]

But I think the thing is when you sit in a drive thru, it does feel like time goes by so much slower.

[Ian]

It is very true. It'd be interesting. I'm never gonna do this, but it'd be interesting to like time it. Like press a timer. Like when I pull out, in and out and the line's way down the road. It's like how long is this actually gonna be?

[Anthony]

I've seen some drive throughs that have a timer. Yeah, have you seen that?

[Ian]

There's some, I seem to recall.

[Shane]

Was it Del Taco back in the day?

[Anthony]

I don't remember. I mean we used to go to Silver fast food place.

[Shane]

Cause I remember seeing a timer.

[Anthony]

Yeah.

[Shane]

But I haven't seen it since like Sacramento.

[Anthony]

I think they probably removed that shit. They're like, this doesn't need to be public knowledge.

[Ian]

Yeah, you don't need to know.

[Anthony]

This is private.

[Ian]

Yeah, but I think they move pretty fast, so they're operating at 300 plus seconds.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Ian]

Every time they'd yell at me for how busy we were, how slow we were, how their food would be cold, how it wasn't fair to make an old couple Wait, and every time. Yeah, and every wait.

[Anthony]

With the rest of us weaponizing your age.

[Ian]

And every time the man would ask for extra cream on his latte. If he didn't get it, he would become irate. I would do it for him because I'd learned to take the bullet for taking too long rather than deal with this guy so much so he. He would call me his creamy girl.

[Shane]

No.

[Ian]

With a shit eating grin on his face. And every time I'd laugh but explain that it wasn't appropriate on this day. I was maybe 16, 17.

[Anthony]

That's worse.

[Ian]

Yeah, we were flat out busy 600 plus seconds when the cream couple arrived.

[Anthony]

Oh God.

[Ian]

I asked them to pull into a bay and we would bring the food out so we could serve the next customer who whose order was prepared. He went ballistic on me, refusing to move, shouting at me, slamming his hands on the dashboard. Classic temper tantrum. This went on for so long. I started explaining to my manager the issue who wouldn't take shit from the situation and she phoned the police to remove the guy. This is usually enough of a threat to get the customer to go, but not this time. He said something along the lines of every time I come here we have to wait and my cream melts and every time we come here you're working. You are an awful person. I'm not the kind of person to take shit from people. You get the energy you give. But up until now I had been forgiving. So I blurted out while he was yelling at me, so go somewhere else. It's called problem solving, dude. He was stunned before lashing out again, explaining this place was his only option and there was no way I could make him go anywhere else. So I said, wanna bet? Latte and extra cream in hand, I poured the coffee all over the roof and window of his Fiat Panda.

[Anthony]

Oh, Edit.

[Ian]

To clarify, I was going to pour it out the window, but he was parked too close. As I was thinking about it, I realized that I could safely pour it onto his car window and roof and not burn him. Lol. I then asked him again to pull around and his order would be ready soon and slammed the window. I then promptly burst into tears out of exhaustion and hate and began making my way to my manager to tell her my crime. The police turned up basically straight after we explained what was going on. While cream man was trying to open the window, we they asked him to go and explained he was now trespassing if he didn't go. Long story short, the next thing I saw was this 70 plus year old man swinging at this copper before quickly getting put into the cop car, leaving his very frail wife still sat in shock. Latte less. Did this man deserve to get arrested? Probably not. Was it appropriate for me to pour coffee on his car? Maybe, maybe not. You decide if I'm the asshole if you want. Either way, it felt good. Plus I didn't lose my job. Lmao.

[Shane]

That's good because I feel like some of these things that she did.

[Anthony]

Yeah, directly on the windshield.

[Shane]

But I mean, that shows that this manager's okay.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Anthony]

Yeah.

[Ian]

This episode of Red Stories is sponsored by Doordash. Doordash makes showing up for the people you love easy. Got you delivered. Doordash order now. I was catching up with a friend and I could just tell they were having a really tough day. You know that phrase, when it rains, it pours? Well, it was a tsunami of problems for my friend. We've all been there where there isn't much you can do for your friend except just be there for them. I was racking my brain over how I could show a little love and try to make them feel a smidge better. Then it dawned on me. Doordash. I got them their favorite ice cream. Chocolate chip cookie dough. Even if chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream doesn't solve the world's problems, I knew it would make them feel a little better. It makes me feel good giving to my friends. And Doordash makes it easy to make someone's day a little better. Door. Doordash offers more than just restaurants. They have retail items, health supplies, late night snacks, groceries, and more. It's your turn to make someone's day better. Maybe you wanna send a thank you cupcake to your mom or restock your roommate's snacks that you stole in the middle of the night. Or you wanna order from your favorite restaurant for date night. Whatever it is, Doordash makes showing up for the people you love easy. Got you delivered. Doordash order now back to the show. Edit some more of the crappy things this guy would do to explain my out of touch reaction. He would throw a temper tantrum if we were too busy to top up on his extra cream. If there wasn't enough cream, we would have to remake the drink. The coffee machines could take two minutes to pour sometimes and would then complain about how long the order took. Often he would ask me to add like five packets of sugar to his pre syrup latte, which I would happily accommodate for if we weren't busy. But I also would remind him there were like Three pumps of syrup in there already. He would then complain it was too sweet and accused me several times of adding more sugar than he asked for. Remaking the drink would ensue. This was not the first time he refused to park up either. Sometimes he would. So it wasn't even that he didn't understand the concept. Like some didn't. But I was always happy to reiterate what he had to do. Worst of all, he would personally blame me if his service wasn't good enough. Even if I didn't have anything to do with the drive thru. My best friend was working on my day off and he apparently started screaming for the pink haired girl to apologize for ruining.

[Shane]

I need my cream girl. Where's my cream girl?

[Ian]

He was asking her to apologize for ruining his order when I was at home. I know I overreacted. I'll own up, but this is borderline abuse. Lmao. Okay. Wow. I don't think she's overreacting. This guy sounds insane.

[Shane]

Yeah, I mean, like I. It's funny cuz I thought at first like this sounded very much like the United States, but it sounds like it's the uk.

[Ian]

Yeah. But I.

[Shane]

But I think like really, like, I feel like they're from the customer is always right generation. Yeah.

[Ian]

Where like they feel certainly in the States that's like how old people act sometimes.

[Shane]

But that's like what was like hammered into them. Like, customer's always right, Customer's always right. And it turns out like that's not true. But they have this like, level of like, I don't know, like indignity about everything. About like. No, I know what's going on.

[Anthony]

They're entitled to everything. I'm so confused by this behavior. I'm like, someone's serving you, like getting things for you, making things for you. I'm like, I can't imagine. Yeah. They were from this generation that feels like, I paid you $10. I get to treat you any way I want.

[Ian]

Yeah, bro. Yeah. I feel like when it comes to revenge for fast food employees, I'm kind of always gonna be on the fast food employee side.

[Anthony]

Sure, of course.

[Shane]

Of course.

[Ian]

What a rigorous job and people are horrible to them.

[Anthony]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Yeah. And I do think like, it's really, it's obviously not cream girl's fault, but I think what the manager could have done, and this is what plenty of managers do do, is they just ban those customers. They say like, you're being a nuisance. You're constantly harassing my employees. You're done. And you can just ban people from. I mean, I'm assuming in the UK you can as well, but you can just say like, no, you're not welcome here anymore.

[Anthony]

Is it hard to ban people though? Like, to identify, like, because he's just going through the drive.

[Ian]

I mean, this guy is such a regular.

[Anthony]

Yeah.

[Ian]

Probably could clock it, but this sounds like a power trip for this guy.

[Anthony]

Yeah.

[Ian]

Like, this isn't. Like he doesn't actually care about the latte. I think they go for the. They're bored and they get the kick out of doing this.

[Anthony]

There's like some other emotional shit that he's not dealing with and he's taking it out on someone else.

[Ian]

Yeah, yeah.

[Anthony]

Imagine going like, I can't imagine going to a fast food through a drive thru and being like, give me my cream. Like, I need my cream. Like, that's. I'm just begging them to spit in my drink.

[Ian]

And they're going at the busy time.

[Shane]

It's not sweet enough. It's too sweet.

[Ian]

Like, I'm like, yeah. I'm like, dude, if you're this specific about your coffee, why are you going to McDonald's? Like, bro.

[Anthony]

Yeah.

[Ian]

What? And I know McDonald's now is more like as expensive as any coffee shop, but it's just like, if you're gonna be hyper specific, if it matters that much to you, like, you can't, you can't expect that of fast food. Like, they operate on speed and getting you the stuff as fast as possible. Not precise orders, you know?

[Shane]

Yeah. I mean, people love their routines. Right.

[Anthony]

And part of his routine is yelling at cream girl.

[Ian]

Yeah. It's like, you love your routine, but you gotta understand, these fast food employees, like, they see the line that they're in, but I think they cannot comprehend that these people are taking care of other people's orders as well.

[Anthony]

The lack of empathy is just wild.

[Ian]

Yeah. Well, people really do dehumanize like, the second people are in a service worker outfit.

[Anthony]

Yeah.

[Ian]

Like they're no longer human to them.

[Anthony]

I never worked at any food industry.

[Ian]

Yeah. I never did such a.

[Anthony]

But you did work at Chuck E. Cheese, so.

[Ian]

And you were in the. You were in the mouse costume. So you were kind of like able to spy. People probably forgot that there was a person in there. You put so many people, they're confessing.

[Shane]

I mean, I feel like I probably experienced the. When I was Chucky, because I feel like the parents were never mean to Chucky.

[Ian]

No, it was.

[Anthony]

He got respect.

[Shane]

It was the children that were fucking evil assholes.

[Ian]

The children were evil.

[Shane]

Yeah. Always kicking my shins and pulling on Chucky's tooth.

[Anthony]

You got revenge one time.

[Shane]

But I think.

[Anthony]

I don't know if I could say that.

[Ian]

When you killed those five children and stuffed them in animatronics.

[Shane]

Yeah, he might have thrown them into the dough maker. But I mean, like, the only thing that, like, some adults would get really angry over at Chuck E. Cheese was we had a one alcoholic drink per person rule. Because they didn't want drunk parents there, obviously. Cause they drove their children to Chuck E. Cheese.

[Anthony]

It's kind of crazy that they could serve alcohol there in the first place, right?

[Ian]

It's insane to me.

[Shane]

Yeah. So they would have like, you could have like one beer or one glass of wine. And some adults would get really angry about that.

[Ian]

That is so embarrassing.

[Anthony]

They're like, how am I supposed to have fun with my kids unless I'm drunk?

[Ian]

Really embarrassed. Like, that's one of those moments you gotta be like, huh? Yeah, real Valentine's going on here.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Anthony]

Like OP it almost doesn't seem like OP Got revenge as much as there was just a reaction. That's just like a human reaction to some crazy incident.

[Ian]

This guy's calling this 16 year old his creamy girl in front of his wife. I think she's allowed to dump a latte on his Fiat. I think that's fine.

[Shane]

I love that she didn't get fired for that.

[Ian]

Oh, that's great. That's really great. The comments on this. Someone said the dude was sexually harassing you with the creamy girl bit. On top of that behavior and his constant verbal harassment of a minor, he should have been banned long ago. But to answer your question, no, you're not an asshole for standing up for yourself and telling that creep off. Especially when he was already told to leave at the threat of the police being involved. Good on you. Someone said, no, the customer is not always right. And yes, he and his car deserve to be creamed. Well, well played. And touche. Someone said, what is a flat. What is a flat Panda? I feel old. Fiat, they wrote. Flat Opie says it's a car model. They're fairly old now and small. His was early 2000s at best. Someone said, yep, it was definitely my age. I don't have my glasses on and read. Flat not fit feet.

[Shane]

Flat panda.

[Ian]

No, honestly, a flat Panda. This makes me think. Any video I see of fast food employees getting vengeance on customers is always great.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Ian]

There's a clip of a guy getting really mad at the employees at a Taco Bell and he leaps over and squares up to this Taco Bell employee and he throws a punch. The Taco Bell employee dodges it and perfectly knocks him out. And I'm just like, hell yeah, dude. I'm like, this is my pay per view.

[Shane]

You know the Waffle House? The girls are watching, like, we need that guy, dude.

[Ian]

The Waffle House video forever ago where someone threw a chair and the employee, she catches it.

[Shane]

Yeah. The coolest thing, like, what are you doing?

[Ian]

Like, no. Anyways, our next story comes from. Am I the asshole? Supposed to only like a month ago.

[Anthony]

We're heating up.

[Ian]

Am I the asshole for humiliating my ex's new girlfriend in front of our friend group?

[Anthony]

Okay, this is probably pushing it.

[Ian]

Probably.

[Shane]

My ex's new girlfriend.

[Ian]

My ex's new girlfriend in front of. In front of our friend group.

[Anthony]

Oh, our.

[Shane]

So it sounds like, ooh, sounds messy.

[Ian]

Her and the ex are still in the same group.

[Anthony]

Okay, yeah, here we go.

[Ian]

Posting from my inactive account because I have some friends lurking in my main one. I, a 22 year old woman, broke up with my boyfriend who's 24. Around eight months ago, we decided to mutually call it quits and parted on pretty good terms. Which is good because we just so happened to share a friend group. After a rough patch, I decided to start taking a bit more care of myself. Eating better, going to the gym, going to therapy. The shift was pretty evident both in my attitude and the way I look. My friends said I looked much happier and healthier. And I began gaining confidence little by little. Now I am a huge nerd. I play D and D weekly. I have thousands of hours in Stellaris, and most relevant to the story, I like to cosplay as a hobby. Most of my involved characters that didn't show their face or body too much. Hornet from Hollow Knight, Mono from Little Nightmares, et cetera. But since I'd been feeling more confident, I decided that for the big con in my city, I'd like to try something different. A friend convinced me of going as Viper and Chamber from Valorant. So for the past six months, we've been pouring most of our free time into the cosplays. Three weeks ago, I sent a picture of me wearing the cosplay to the group chat, asking for feedback for the final details. My ex immediately DMed me, asking me to please not wear that cosplay to the con because it might make his new girlfriend uncomfortable. Oh.

[Anthony]

What?

[Shane]

What?

[Anthony]

Bro, you're too hot. Yeah, you're way too hot.

[Ian]

Please not be hot. I asked what it Was I'm afraid

[Shane]

of being horny in front of my new girlfriend.

[Ian]

I asked what about it would make her uncomfortable, but he refused to elaborate. I knew he was dating someone new, but I didn't know she was coming with us to the con. I tried to explain to him this was the work of months and I couldn't just throw it all away just because a I'd never met felt uncomfortable about it. In the end, I wore it to the con and it was a huge success. I tried to keep my distance from the larger chunk of our group because my ex and his new girl were with them, but we did spend a good part of the day with them. Throughout the whole thing, the new girl kept making snide comments at me and laughing whenever I got asked to pose for pictures. Everyone looked uncomfortable, but nobody said anything. After leaving the con to have dinner though, another friend asks the new girl if she would like to try cosplay as well. Her answer was, why would I need more attention from guys? I already have a boyfriend. I'm not a slut.

[Shane]

Oh my God.

[Ian]

I snapped and told her to stop acting like a pick me bitch just because I got attention all day. She started to cry immediately. My ex steps in, asking me to apologize. I tell him I'll only do it if she apologizes for the way she's been acting around me all day. More and more of our friends start to join the screaming match, and it gets so bad we end up getting kicked out of the restaurant.

[Shane]

Oh, my God.

[Ian]

It's been five days and my ex is threatening to leave the friend group if I don't apologize. I honestly wouldn't care if he did, but some of our friends are asking me to do so to stop him from leaving. Should I cave? Am I the asshole? Oh, my gosh. All right. I kind of want to see. So Viper and Chamber.

[Anthony]

Do you know that character? I don't play Valorant.

[Shane]

I must be hotties.

[Ian]

I don't play Valorant. I can only assume. Yeah, similar to Overwatch type of vibes.

[Shane]

I wonder if there's one. They got to be baddies.

[Anthony]

Okay, there are two. How do they dress up as two of them at once? Is it one character?

[Shane]

One day they probably dress as Chamber. One day they probably dress as.

[Anthony]

Okay, okay.

[Ian]

But they are not. They're like a fully covered costume. Like, it's not like.

[Shane]

Yeah, but the. I'm guessing which one is Viper has very form fitting.

[Ian]

Yeah, sure. Not that it matters, right? I think for cons you're allowed to dress up as whatever.

[Shane]

Absolutely. You could be as slutty as you want. Who cares?

[Ian]

But I'm just think I'm, like, picturing, what's the situation here? The ex's new girlfriend is clearly super insecure.

[Anthony]

Super insecure.

[Ian]

And that comment is calling OP a slut.

[Anthony]

Why would I want to be a slut? And if you think this is about you, then you're a slut. I guess.

[Ian]

Yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm not talking about you.

[Anthony]

I'm only talking about sluts. And if you think it's about you, then I guess you are one too. But I just say it.

[Ian]

That's crazy. It got into such a screaming match that they got kicked out of the restaurant.

[Shane]

I love that. I love that. I love that the whole friend group got into this.

[Ian]

What if the restaurant owner is like, I am kicking you out not because of. You're causing drama. I don't like Valorant.

[Shane]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ian]

Just get out of here.

[Shane]

Right? He's like. He's like, no, Viper Main's gotta get out. That is.

[Ian]

I think that's so embarrassing on the boyfriend's part too.

[Shane]

Oh, yeah.

[Ian]

Like, you'd be like, hey, like, no, that's my ex. Like, we're not.

[Anthony]

Yeah.

[Ian]

And for him to ask her, it's like, hey, you're not dating. You're completely separate. People. Like, you don't get to dictate what she wears to a Comic Con convention. Like, that is what these are for. People go to cosplay.

[Anthony]

I feel like this is very, like, young brain behavior.

[Ian]

22. He's 24.

[Anthony]

Yeah. Like, very early 20s or something. Because I feel like by the time you reach a certain age, you're like, oh, why am I putting all this energy towards something I don't like? Like, if they truly didn't like her, why are they so obsessed with her?

[Shane]

You know, I also just, like, wonder what this ex told his new girlfriend about. About his ex, about the op.

[Anthony]

There must be something that. That's, like, really setting her off, though. Like, I agree. Like, maybe he said maybe she was, like, prying, do you still have feelings for her? And he's like, I don't know, maybe or something. Maybe it was some weird.

[Shane]

Because she's apparently changed her look. Yeah, she's changed her look. Maybe he said something about it. He's like, wow, she looks really good now, or whatever. That maybe set this girlfriend off.

[Ian]

I mean, it's also. You have the element of they are still friends, right? He's still friends with his ex, which is totally fine. But some people clearly, like, in the case of this new girlfriend, are uncomfortable by it. Cause they're just like, what if he wants to get back with her?

[Anthony]

And that's the first day that they met too.

[Ian]

That is true.

[Anthony]

Yeah.

[Ian]

That's so awkward. Is it the first day that they've met?

[Anthony]

If I'm the new partner, I'm gonna wanna definitely make some good impressions. I'm gonna wanna show up as my best self in front of everyone. And they're just starting fights and being really petty.

[Ian]

See, I think I knew at a young age. Like, I know they're young, but I knew that I'm like, being insecure about someone's ex is like such a red flag.

[Anthony]

Yeah.

[Ian]

That I'm like, your best bet is to be chill and not make a big deal about it. Or if you're gonna say something, say it in private to it.

[Anthony]

Yeah.

[Ian]

Like, hey, like, I feel uncomfortable about this situation. I mean, even if it's irrational, like, that's how you have to handle it. You don't go and make rude comments to them to their face.

[Anthony]

I think that takes a level of emotional maturity and vulnerability to admit when you're not. When you're feeling threatened or jealous. Because I think when you do that, it's admitting that you are the one that has the work to do. You know, if you say, hey, I'm jealous of your ex in your life, it's like, oh, I have work to do on myself to not be jealous. It's not the ex's fault. It's my fault that I'm feeling jealous. At least that's what it sounds like in this situation.

[Ian]

This girlfriend, too, her comment is really messed up. Because it's not just insulting the op, it's insulting potentially a lot of people in that situation by saying, why would I, like, in regards to. Would you ever do cosplay? They go, oh. They're basically saying, anyone who does cosplay is a slut.

[Shane]

But you know that she's not saying, you know that she's not.

[Ian]

I know that she's not. But it's still just like, she's saying

[Shane]

this directly about 100%.

[Ian]

And everybody in that situation probably recognized that, including the ex.

[Shane]

And she probably. And she probably. I don't know, maybe. Maybe she also felt maybe a little jealousy that OP was getting all this attention at the Comic Con, like making these snide little quips and stuff whenever somebody asked to take a photo with her. I think that stuff is cool. You spend all this time on a costume and people want to share that enthusiasm and take pictures of you or take pictures with you.

[Ian]

It's funny though to be it's funny to be jealous of that when it's like yeah, cause they're at a convention where dressing up as cosplay is the point of it. So yeah, they're getting attention cause they're doing that. But I also believe I see what you're saying. Cause people who get jealous and aren't clocking the irrationality of it, she's jealous. It's like, yeah, yeah. Cause they're doing the thing that people do here. This episode of Reddit Stories is sponsored by Smalls. We've talked about our favorite dinners all the time on this channel, but what about my cat's food? They deserve the best meals that are not only healthy but tasty. Small's fresh cat food is protein packed recipes made with preservative free 100% human grade ingredients you'd find in your fridge. Now that my cat is getting a balanced diet, she sheds less, has fewer hairballs, and she has tons of energy. Other brands pack their products with carbohydrates, preservatives, and harmful artificial ingredients. Smalls packs their food with high protein so she is fueled up and ready for the day. Birdie's dinner consists of fish licks, bird broth, and fresh ground bird. She loves all of it and I love Smalls because it's delivered straight to my door. You can try Smalls risk free. They'll refund you if your cat won't eat their food. So stop serving your little carnivore a bowl of processed shortcuts for a limited time because you are a Reddit stories listener. Get 60% off your first order plus free shipping and free treats for life when you head to smalls.com pitreddit that's 60% off your first order plus free shipping and free treats for life when you head to smalls.com pitreddit and now back to the show. The verdict is not the asshole comments. I'll apologize after your girlfriend apologizes for implying that we, the people cosplaying were sluts, short, sweet and to the point. Let's see his hypocrite ass respond to that. I'd also tell your friend group that is your stance. It's the most fair for everyone involved. Someone said not the asshole. So it was perfectly okay for her to bully you all day, but the second you clap back, which anyone would do after being called a slut, she's suddenly the victim, and you have to apologize. No, she shouldn't give if she can't take. She started it. It's not your fault that she's so ridiculously insecure that she has to tear you down to feel better about herself. It's not your fault she's immature. Lastly, someone said, not the asshole. Keep in mind, you are 22, and this is probably not your forever friend group. If they want you to go against your values to keep the peace, don't. You're not the one in the wrong. Yeah, I mean, early 20s, you could keep a lot of those friends, but it's. You should not devalue yourself for your friend group or minimize yourself. I will say the ex. I don't like that he is trying to control the dynamic of the friend group. He's like, I'm threatening to leave if you don't abide by my girlfriend, who I'm bringing into the fold. It's like, hey, this is the friend group. You guys have to operate as your. Your own.

[Shane]

Yeah. I feel like there is still room for, like, a level set of, like, hey, you know, bring everyone together, bring all the parties together and be like, hey, like, I reacted this way because what you said was really hurtful. And. And the actions that you did throughout the day also hurt me. I'm sorry I, you know, reacted in this way. But there was. There was hurt there from things that you did. And so I think there's a way out of this, and there's a way to, you know, preserve the friend group. If the OP wanted that. Yeah. It would require. It would require both parties to be on board with that sort of, like, level set.

[Ian]

It would require a lot of work. I think OP should probably talk to the other people in the friend group first.

[Anthony]

Yeah.

[Ian]

About the situation. Because if they're all there and witness all this, it's tough, man. Man. When you're in a friend group and two people start dating and then they break up, it's like, all right. Like, that's on them to manage that. If I was.

[Shane]

That's why Anthony and I have never dated. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

[Ian]

Cause it would just be, like, really tough.

[Shane]

You didn't want to risk that.

[Ian]

Yeah, really tough.

[Anthony]

Yeah. Tough choice.

[Ian]

If I'm like, the friends in the friend group, I'm pissed at this guy because I'm like, hey, like, you are doing the thing that breaks up friend groups. Like, I'm sorry, man. This is the situation. You gotta navigate this.

[Anthony]

He's trying to control OP and the

[Ian]

friend group and the friend group by saying, like, I'm gonna leave if this.

[Anthony]

Yeah.

[Ian]

People don't accommodate me. It's just like, dude, fuck you.

[Anthony]

It's like, okay, then leave. I guess.

[Ian]

Yeah. It might be what has to happen. One of them has to go, it seems like. But he is bringing the insecurity about.

[Anthony]

Yeah. His insecurity is causing all the issues. Or I mean, I guess. And the person he's dating, but it's going through him. And then he's saying, everyone needs a change because of my insecurities.

[Ian]

Yeah. Or my. Or my partner's insecurities. Update.

[Shane]

Oh,

[Anthony]

okay.

[Ian]

So let's see what happens here. This is five days later.

[Anthony]

Okay. Some shit's gone down in five days.

[Shane]

She's like, I found a cosplay I'm doing that's even sluttier.

[Anthony]

I'm cosplaying as your girlfriend.

[Ian]

Small titty out. I'm Bayonetta.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Ian]

All right.

[Shane]

I'm silent.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Dude, Imagine showing silent.

[Ian]

That was from Metal Gear Solid V. Oh.

[Anthony]

It's basically like, I didn't get that far.

[Ian]

It's a big Foley naked bikini warrior.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Anthony]

Is that late in the game? Cause I only played the first 40 hours.

[Ian]

That game is like 200 hours, I swear.

[Shane]

Because Metal Gear 5.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Anthony]

Am I thinking of 5?

[Shane]

No, I think you are. Yeah. The open world.

[Ian]

Metal Gear.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Anthony]

I was like 40 hours deep in that. I didn't see her.

[Shane]

I think she probably comes in about 50 or 60 hours. I don't know.

[Anthony]

Anyway, I gotta hear this update.

[Ian]

All right.

[Anthony]

Sorry, I gotta distress.

[Ian]

Wow. I didn't expect this post to blow up as much as it did. Thank you for all the support, understanding, and kind comments. First of all, I want to apologize if the redaction in the original post wasn't the best. English is not my first language, and I kind of wrote it in the heat of the moment. Second of all, my ex left the friend group and took his new girl with him. Good riddance. After a final attempt at making me apologize, he left the chat through a long paragraph of text and a block to every single person involved. The two ex friends who asked me to apologize to him followed suit. I'm not surprised in the slightest since they've been his friends longer than they have been mine. I will admit I'm a bit heartbroken about it, but I'll get over it. Of course, my ex dmed me to call me an immature bitch one last time, then proceeded to block me as well. I'm honestly fine with that now. For Some clarifications on the original post. Yeah, I admit the screaming match was very immature and impolite of us. I don't want to make excuses, but after a whole day at the conversation, we were all tired, hungry, and very annoyed. Emotions were running high and we behaved very immaturely. Thankfully, that particular place is used to dealing with con attendees and weren't too harsh on us. We did leave a big tip as an apology to everyone asking if I'll post the cosplay. I am flattered, but while I believe I've become a bit more confident, we

[Shane]

just gotta see it. Yeah. Nice going, Reddit. Cool.

[Ian]

Cool story. Let's see photos.

[Anthony]

We'll be the kludge if it's slutty enough.

[Ian]

I don't think I'm ready to blast it to thousands of people on the Internet just yet. Maybe I'll upload something to my main account at some point, but definitely not here. Just in case anyone wants to know what the screen match scene looked like, only five people out of the 11 were wearing regular clothes. The others were all in cosplay. I love that viper myself, Chamber two micus, a kaveh from Genshin, and a friend's original character. Again, thank you all, and sorry if you were expecting a more dramatic update.

[Shane]

Thank you.

[Ian]

I'll reach out if anything more interesting happens, though. I really doubt it. See ya. That's so funny.

[Anthony]

If I saw this. If I saw someone recording this on TikTok, I would be watching this whole clip.

[Shane]

Yeah, I wish.

[Anthony]

That sounds awesome.

[Ian]

Oh, I'm sure fights happen at every convention. Because they are. It's always hot.

[Shane]

Yeah. I'd love to see a fight at a furry convention.

[Anthony]

Yeah. Oh, I'm sure you can find it.

[Ian]

David Attenborough's narrating it from somewhere.

[Anthony]

Yeah.

[Shane]

As you can see, the. The foxes have gotten into a tiff. Oh, man.

[Anthony]

I know. I got some Google searches in my future.

[Ian]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. We combine these first two stories. Furries getting in a fight at McDonald's.

[Anthony]

Hell, yeah.

[Ian]

Oh, I'm in some prime entertainment there.

[Shane]

Never thought about people going to a Con as their oc as an original character. Yeah, yeah.

[Ian]

If they're putting stuff out there, I don't know.

[Shane]

Interesting.

[Ian]

People do all sorts. People really go for niche things.

[Shane]

They really do.

[Ian]

Because there was the few times back in the day where we would go to Comic Con and I was like, I'm rarely recognizing things and I'm in. But nobody's gonna go as the most popular stuff. They gotta find the, like, they gotta

[Shane]

show that they know ball.

[Ian]

Exactly.

[Shane]

They're like, I went as the chef from episode 219 of One Piece that Was in the background. But that's gonna be a really sick fucking ref. For like the wild person that gets.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Anthony]

You've seen all the Chosen. There's this trend of people going to these cons as chosen.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Anthony]

There's videos of them coming down escalators.

[Ian]

They're so funny.

[Anthony]

There's just like 50 chosens down an escalator.

[Ian]

Yeah. I would be disappointed.

[Anthony]

Have you seen these popping up?

[Ian]

No. Oh. People really go as the Chosen a lot. It's a great costume for a con.

[Anthony]

Yeah.

[Ian]

I am very honored whenever I see people dressing up as the Chosen. If people get in a fight as the chosen, I will be disappointed.

[Anthony]

Yeah.

[Ian]

Like, that's because that goes against the character chosen. Uses words.

[Shane]

Well, at our Smosh Reed's Reddit story show in London, these two people went as Zok. Doc. Oh, I saw Zoc.

[Anthony]

I saw Doc.

[Shane]

One shirt said Zok, the other shirt said Doc.

[Anthony]

That's the deep ref right there.

[Ian]

I was like, you guys are doing free advertising. Okay.

[Anthony]

So this dude split up the friend group entirely. Split in half.

[Ian]

Split up the friend group.

[Shane]

And in such a lame way too. Being like, I'm gonna write this huge paragraph and I'm gonna block everyone so you can't respond to it.

[Ian]

And everyone's a bitch. Embarrassing.

[Anthony]

It is.

[Shane]

Embarrass. Embarrassing.

[Ian]

Anyways, moving on. I don't feel like either of these have been like revenge as much as these are people standing their ground in a very fair way.

[Anthony]

Yeah.

[Ian]

So far, I believe.

[Shane]

I mean, it's.

[Anthony]

It's kind of like a big reaction maybe, but it seems appropriate for the situation some, to some degree.

[Ian]

I. I'm. I'm on their sides.

[Anthony]

Yeah.

[Ian]

Our next story comes from True off my chest. This is posted in 2023. My ex girlfriend got revenge on me and I'm so broken. Oh, whoa.

[Shane]

Oh.

[Anthony]

This is from this perspective.

[Shane]

Yeah. Interesting.

[Ian]

This is gonna be a vengeance receiver.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Anthony]

I feel like this is gonna be a heartbreaking perspective.

[Ian]

Yeah. I, a 25 year old man, have been with my ex girlfriend Carly, 23, for nearly 10 years. We were high school sweethearts and had a good relationship up until after she completed college. Adulthood has been putting a strain on our relationship, so bills and finding sustaining jobs has been a challenge. We started arguing a bunch and just started overall being annoyed with each other's existence. We weren't sleeping in the same room, let alone Being intimate. It was a tough time, to say the least. We tried therapy and I felt like it wasn't working. I honestly wanted to be done, but I couldn't break up with her because we lived together and she helped me get out of debt. So I did something horrible and I started cheating on her with her childhood best friend.

[Anthony]

Her other childhood best friend.

[Ian]

I thought she would never find out and my gosh, I was wrong. Yesterday afternoon I came home and she wanted to talk and without hesitation she jumped straight into it and asked me point blank if I was cheating on her. And I of course tried to lie and she just starts laughing and says, I knew you weren't going to admit it, but I was going to give you the benefit of the doubt. So now I just feel less guilty. I just confessed to her and she just looked at me and didn't have any expression nor speak. When I finished, she just laughed and told me and I will never forget it. Honestly, it's fine because Louis was over last weekend and we had a great time. My heart dropped to my stomach because Louis is my big brother.

[Anthony]

Oh my God.

[Shane]

Oh, that is diabolical.

[Anthony]

Messy.

[Shane]

Diabolical.

[Anthony]

This is messy.

[Shane]

You kept it in the family. God damn.

[Ian]

I just thought it was a low blow on Carly, given she knew how insecure I was about my brother. He's the golden child and literally always did things 10 times better than me. I'm stuck having to have some sort

[Shane]

6 inches taller, bigger dong, 8 pack, maybe even 10 pack.

[Ian]

I'm stuck having to have some sort of relationship with him and meanwhile she can just drop her friend. My chest and heart have been hurting so much since I found out and I'm so broken. I know I was wrong for cheating first, but if she knew. But if she knew, why didn't she just break up with me first? I called out of work because I feel like throwing up just thinking about it. Edit. I did not intend for this to be a viral post. I'm just extremely hurt and I get I fucked up also. Yes, I know she did because she offered video proof and my brother has been dodging my calls. I'm going. I'm going actually insane right now. And all you people here are just obsessed with kicking me while I'm down and it's fucked up. Like I get it. Lol. So funny. She won. Good for her. Also with the debt she helped me pay off. She just did it from her inheritance. I didn't ask her inheritance. If she asks for the money back, I will be willing to Set up some payment arrangement with her. Oh, my.

[Anthony]

This is insane.

[Shane]

So messy.

[Anthony]

And he's the victim.

[Shane]

He thinks he's the victim, and she's offering to send. Send him a video of her fucking his brother. That's crazy.

[Anthony]

This is chaos.

[Ian]

Oh, my God.

[Anthony]

Oh, my God.

[Ian]

You know what? Okay, okay. There's a million things going on. One is him going, like, why didn't she just break up with me? Like, buddy, we could ask the same thing of you. And you're giving all these excuses of, like, well, the situation's weird and we're living together and stuff. I'm like, yeah, that's kind of why cheating is so shitty. Because. Yeah, you're stuck in that situation. Like, if you're gonna cheat, you need to just break up. Like, he's like, if she could, she

[Anthony]

could have just cheated on me with anyone else.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Anthony]

Like.

[Ian]

Yeah, like, so that it wouldn't have been too hurtful.

[Anthony]

Yeah, it hurt me too much.

[Ian]

Like, you already chose her childhood best friend.

[Shane]

Yeah. Which is.

[Ian]

It's already. I mean, how.

[Shane]

And also, like, to say. To say, I didn't think she'd find out. How dumb are you?

[Ian]

Like, dude, if you're gonna cheat, all

[Shane]

the people in the world, if you

[Ian]

are going to cheat, you have to know that that shit is gonna get found out.

[Anthony]

Especially someone so close to her.

[Shane]

Right? Oh, the closest person. Yeah. Outside of a brother, maybe. What the fuck?

[Anthony]

She one upped me slightly.

[Ian]

Yeah, it's like, duh. She's gonna find out okay, though. The best childhood best friend and his brother, diabolical human.

[Anthony]

Oh, they're horrible.

[Ian]

Everyone's horrible.

[Shane]

Everyone sucks here.

[Anthony]

Everyone here sucks.

[Ian]

Like, that's not. I guess it's not her childhood best friend.

[Anthony]

No.

[Ian]

What the hell? And then his brother, like, his brother just sounds like he's the devil, like, just living to ruin his life.

[Shane]

I mean, I think that dynamic happens a lot more than we think.

[Ian]

Oh, awful.

[Shane]

Of, like, people. I mean, you. I mean, I think a lot of times, like, I feel like we've all kind of heard stories of, like, people where it's like, oh, this, like, couple got divorced, and then one person started seeing the other person in the family. Like, I feel like that happens not, like, often, but often enough to know it's like an existing only 1 out

[Anthony]

of every 10,000 writes a Reddit post about it.

[Shane]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, right?

[Ian]

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[Shane]

Yeah.

[Ian]

So she was basically, I think in many ways, like pay, like supporting him

[Shane]

and they out of an inheritance.

[Anthony]

Yeah, it was just her inheritance.

[Shane]

She didn't earn her.

[Ian]

It was just her inheritance. She didn't earn it. I don't know.

[Anthony]

It was free money.

[Shane]

Free money.

[Ian]

I, it's just like it's impossible to be on this guy's side. Like, and, and all the things he's giving. I, I just kind of struggle with it. And he's like, we weren't sleeping in the same room, let alone being intimate. It was a tough time, to say the least. We tried therapy and it felt like it wasn't working. It's like, all right, like that. Then. Then have the conversation and break up.

[Anthony]

Everything in the universe was telling us to break up, but I just had to sleep with her childhood friend.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Anthony]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Were they married or were they just dying?

[Ian]

I don't think that girlfriend. No, they're just dating. But I mean, 10 years. Yeah, 10 years is like a marriage. I mean, it's, they're living together, their lives are intertwined.

[Shane]

I couldn't imagine like dating somebody from 13 to 25 or whatever.

[Ian]

Yeah, 23.

[Shane]

That's like, you just.

[Ian]

That is wild.

[Shane]

Completely different person.

[Anthony]

I mean, I get that feeling of being like kind of trapped in a relationship where you're living in a house and you're like in it. Way past it. You're in the relationship way past its prime. Totally.

[Shane]

And you don't know any other relationship.

[Anthony]

Yeah. And you're like, I feel like this isn't working, but I don't have enough experience in my life to know, is this the way that just relationships are just supposed to be this way? But, like, when it gets to the point where you're like, we're sleeping in different beds and I'm cheating, it's like, that's. And therapy isn't working, I just.

[Ian]

I don't understand. I'm like, if you are cheating on someone, the relationship is over. Like, if you are at that point where you have no communication and you're just operating, I'm like, you don't sound like you like each other. Like, why are you doing. Especially. Especially at 25. I'm like, I don't understand. It's not like you have kids and it's like, oh, we're supporting our children together and stuff. It's like, come on, man. There's always. And this is a tough thing. When a relationship's not working out. There's always a really good reason of, like, well, we can't break up because it's so. It's so uncomfortable and it's awkward. It's like, yeah, breaking up sucks. Especially if you live together. It is super inconvenient. It's gonna be an absolute hassle. But you gotta do it.

[Anthony]

As much as it hurts now, it's gonna hurt worse later. Like, if they broke up. If they broke up a year prior, the pain would have been a lot more manageable than this.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Shane]

It's also just funny that, like, he feels indebted to her to not break up with her because she paid off his debt, but not indebted enough to not cheat on her.

[Anthony]

Right. The debt stands out so much in his mind that he's adding it in his post.

[Shane]

Yeah. And also in the most hurtful way, too. Like, there's only outside of. Yeah. Relatives. There's like, that is probably the most hurtful person that you could cheat on.

[Anthony]

It seems almost purposeful. Right. To completely.

[Shane]

Like he was trying to force her hand. Almost like force her to break up with him.

[Anthony]

Yeah.

[Ian]

I don't think he was sabotaging it. Yeah.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Anthony]

He was trying to sabotage.

[Ian]

I'm picking up a few context clues from this One is that when he lied to her, she asked him, like, flat out, like, are you cheating on me? He lied, and she was like, I knew you would. She had already gotten her revenge. But she clearly at this stage had zero faith in him and had such disdain for him. And this behavior clearly had been. She had probably caught him in a million lies up to this point.

[Anthony]

Yeah.

[Ian]

Also I'm guessing that this affair with her best friend has been going on for a while. If she slept with his brother a week ago and is now asking, like, it sounds like this timeline. This was not like I slept with your best friend once. It's like stuff had been happening, so I think she was so beyond done.

[Anthony]

This guy lost me so many times though. He's like, yeah. And then she asked me if I cheated and I lied.

[Ian]

And I know he's not asking for our opinion. It's just a confession. Oh yeah, but it's like, dude, you're not gonna get sympathy from Reddit if you're saying like, people don't, like, they're not gonna stand with a cheater even,

[Shane]

like, especially not Reddit. Reddit hates a cheater.

[Ian]

Yeah, I mean, I just think like people nowadays really hate breaches of trust.

[Anthony]

Yeah, that's what it really is. It's the deception of it all. No one wants to be like. And it's not a one time deception, obviously is horrible. And then to be repeated and repeated and repeated, it just exponentially increases in.

[Ian]

Right. The comments on this, you didn't just cheat, you went to her best friend, all while you continued to reap the benefits of living with her. How is what you did somehow less worse than her going to your bro? And only in the aftermath of you doing it first, mind you, so she'd hurt you too. You really aren't a victim here, my guy. And I don't know why you expected anyone here to fall over themselves telling you otherwise. Someone said, this post is so funny. You go and cheat on her, but when you get the same treatment back, somehow it breaks your heart. Please. Someone said, if you had a bad relationship, then why didn't you break up with her? You decided to cheat instead, and now you're mad that she did it back. You should be ashamed of yourself. I'm glad she gave you a taste of your own medicine.

[Anthony]

And people are glad that.

[Shane]

I mean, I mean, like, yeah, I think he's still allowed to feel hurt by what she did, but at the same time it's like, yeah, he's probably

[Ian]

more allowed to be mad at his brother, but her, it's like, dude, there's

[Anthony]

just like this weirdness where like, when someone's being so hypocritical, it's like, Bro, look at yourself in the mirror for a second. Why are you getting your feelings hurt when you're looking at the situation in the mirror?

[Ian]

Yeah. I really think it seems like cheating really messes with people in their head. Like, getting away with it seems like it really does something. I almost think that's worst case scenario is to get away with it. Because I'm like, now your brain is like, oh, I got away with that. And I'm just like, ugh. I almost think that scares me more than the repercussions. You know, I'm just like, I just think it's bad for you.

[Anthony]

I feel like it would be such a haunting feeling totally to just to live.

[Ian]

I think it's the same with doing anything and getting away with it. Like people who get away with a murder or something, where I'm just like, you're now living day to day in this weird simulation of everyone's talking to me as if I am someone and nobody knows me. I'm like, it's gotta be isolating. And that's why I know. Isn't it a weird thing that with cheating, the cheater can develop a resentment towards their partner for not knowing? And it's a weird. I'm like. It's one of those things where I'm like, I don't wanna deal with the psychological horrors that come with that. Yeah.

[Anthony]

And a lot of times it comes up on this show. And you even mentioned when someone is so concerned about their partner cheating, so often they're the ones cheating. That's why the idea is planted in their head in the first place.

[Ian]

The biggest red flag is severe levels of suspicion.

[Anthony]

Yeah. And that's just their own anxiety going crazy because they're anxious about their own situation. So they're being anxious about everything.

[Ian]

Cause how you can't trust anyone if you know you've gotten away with something.

[Anthony]

Yeah. Yeah, that's true. It's like it was so easy for me to get away with. Everyone's getting away with.

[Ian]

It's truly like. It's like a horror to me.

[Anthony]

Yeah, I agree.

[Ian]

Anyways, moving on. Cause that is the revenge so far.

[Anthony]

That was crazy.

[Ian]

That is revenge.

[Shane]

That was the first real, true, diabolical revenge.

[Ian]

That was some Game of Thrones revenge where it's like the revenge had already been lain.

[Shane]

Literally.

[Ian]

It was like, oh, I've already done it.

[Anthony]

I want to see the scene reenacted with Game of Thrones theme.

[Shane]

Right.

[Anthony]

I could see that.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Anthony]

Oh, that'd be a good episode.

[Shane]

I want to see the girlfriend comment and be like, yeah. And I'm with his brother, and he's great.

[Ian]

Everything is awesome.

[Anthony]

Taller, longer, wider, faster, stronger.

[Shane]

We're buying a house. I'm already pregnant with this child.

[Anthony]

Better hairline.

[Shane]

Better. Way better hairline. Makes a really mean baked ziti.

[Ian]

Oh, yeah.

[Anthony]

What is that? Whatever.

[Shane]

Pasta.

[Anthony]

Okay.

[Ian]

All right. Our final story comes from petty revenge. This was posted the week of Christmas 2025.

[Shane]

Ooh.

[Anthony]

Merry Christmas.

[Ian]

I ate a bag of rich man's nut so my boss would stop coming into my office and eating the rich man's nuts. Okay.

[Anthony]

Coming into the office.

[Ian]

All right.

[Anthony]

The way this is phrased is.

[Ian]

Yeah, it's a lot.

[Shane]

There's a lot going on here.

[Ian]

It's the holidays. So the company I work for gets a lot of gift baskets from our clients and vendors. I work in a department that, because of the work we do, we rarely get gifts and treats unless one of the other departments shares their gifts with us. Us. Thankfully, someone shared a couple of baskets with nuts, candies, crackers, etc. The VP has been coming into our office almost every day to pick from our gift baskets. He doesn't do this to any of the other departments. And I have seen him get a couple of baskets himself and never shared them. We had an unopened basket, and he opened it, then chose the most expensive item, a bag of pistachios, and ripped into it, stealing some of our pistachios. Then said, I love the rich man's nut. Our pistachios. The rich, rich man's nuts.

[Shane]

They are more expensive.

[Ian]

Oh, wow.

[Shane]

Especially if. Especially if they come pre shelled.

[Anthony]

I gotta learn about the harvesting process of these things to justify the price of these rich man's nuts.

[Ian]

They are delicious. I do like. I feel like pistachios on a lot of, like, expensive, like, desserts and stuff.

[Shane]

Pistachios, like Middle Eastern desserts?

[Ian]

Yeah, like baklava with baklava. Pistachio on top. What is it? Is Dubai chocolate? Is that pistachio?

[Shane]

Yep. Pistachio.

[Ian]

Okay. So the vice president is coming into their office, grabbing pistachios and saying, I love the rich man's nut.

[Shane]

And these are gift. And these are gift baskets. These are gift baskets that were for the workers.

[Ian]

For the workers, for departments. They're a department that doesn't get many gifts. So, like, someone else gave them some of theirs, and this vice president's waltzing in, taking the best things from their basket.

[Shane]

Do you remember we had somebody. We had somebody back in the defy days.

[Ian]

What are you doing with your fingers?

[Anthony]

This sounds like a mystery, mysterious story. What is this? Remembering me.

[Ian]

Come with me to the casino. Pistachio pie.

[Shane]

You know, there. There was an exec, There was an executive at Defy, and there was a bowl of M&M's. And they would walk in and just, like, grab M and M's. And somebody was like, oh, I saw that person not wash their hands.

[Ian]

They didn't. Yeah.

[Shane]

They go to the bathroom.

[Anthony]

Is this when I worked there, or is this.

[Ian]

No, this was. This was in the dark ages.

[Anthony]

Okay.

[Ian]

This is the year after.

[Shane]

And then they start. Then they would, like, walk into this

[Ian]

room that had a bowl of M

[Shane]

and Ms. And they would just, like, stick their dirty little wiener hands on into the M and Ms.

[Anthony]

The hands were bad enough. The unwashed hands are bad enough.

[Ian]

The rich man's nut. If

[Shane]

they could have been peanut. M and Ms. Yeah. Oh, boy.

[Ian]

Yeah, I do remember this.

[Anthony]

Those wiener hands.

[Ian]

This man makes five times what I do. When the opportunity came for him to fight for raises for us, he didn't. And now he is coming into our office and stealing our gifts and eating our rich man's nuts. This cannot continue. I decided that I'm going to eat every single pistachio. I don't particularly like pistachios or nuts, but I am not gonna let him come in here and steal my rich man's nut. I'm gonna eat them all to myself and enjoy every single last minute of it. I have eaten four sleeves of nuts. The basket is now empty. My body doesn't feel good, but my pride is intact. Knowing I am full of rich man nut while he cannot take anymore.

[Shane]

There's lots of other ways to get that, you know?

[Ian]

I am full of rich man nut.

[Shane]

You can just get on, like, a sugar baby website.

[Anthony]

Okay?

[Shane]

There's lots of other ways. Why didn't this person just. I don't know if you're finishing the story.

[Ian]

It's.

[Anthony]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Okay. Why. Why didn't this person just, like, hide them? Just tell their department, hey, like, this guy shouldn't be stealing our rich man nuts.

[Ian]

I don't have to eat them all at once. This counts as revenge because that also means the rest of the department doesn't

[Anthony]

need to have rich man revenge on one person.

[Ian]

What are you doing?

[Shane]

He cut off his nuts.

[Ian]

Yeah. What the fuck? Stealing from the rich. And you're like, if Robin Hood ate the gold coins.

[Shane]

Yeah. He cut off his balls to save his wiener.

[Ian]

You know what? Oh, my God.

[Shane]

Cut off your what? Is it the term?

[Ian]

The rest of the accounting department's like, hey, man, where did the pistachios go? And he's over here, like, filled to the brim. Just like, ugh.

[Anthony]

Pistachios are so filling. I got a bag at the airport thinking I was just gonna chow down on the fl. I was so full by a third of the way through.

[Shane]

Yeah, they're, like, really fatty.

[Anthony]

Yeah, they're good for you, but that's a. That takes.

[Ian]

Yeah, he's got a lot of fiber.

[Shane]

I don't know if I don't know how much fiber.

[Ian]

I don't know. I just know they're really good for you.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Ian]

I don't know pistachios in particular. I'm thinking, like, almonds and stuff. Yeah.

[Shane]

Okay. Well, I have some fiber.

[Ian]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Comments. I mean, you could have taken them to someone who would enjoy them, but I still approve. That guy is a jerk. Someone said, life pro tip, you have enough pistachio paste inside of you right now that if you dipped yourself in dark chocolate, you'd be the world's largest Dubai chocolate.

[Shane]

That's a thought.

[Anthony]

Wow.

[Shane]

But you'd also need, like, Philo dough, too.

[Anthony]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ian]

You need a lot of stuff. Someone said, that's nuts. Just put the best stuff in your drawers and leave the cheapest for him. OP said, bro, that's the fucked thing. We hid them twice, and he still found it and ate our stuff. Oh, I think your vice president is a squirrel.

[Shane]

Yeah. I was thinking he's like.

[Ian]

Yeah, he's, like, sniffing around for that.

[Shane]

He's like a. He's like a truffle pig, you know? He's like, I know they're around here somewhere.

[Ian]

There's pistachios. Yeah. I don't know if that counts as vengeance. I think vengeance would be. You'd have to swap them out with, like, those super spicy nuts. Yeah.

[Anthony]

Oh, yeah.

[Ian]

Or something like that. You gotta get him. But he was unharmed in this process.

[Anthony]

There's so many fun ways he could have gone about that.

[Ian]

Revenge.

[Anthony]

Yeah, Right.

[Shane]

He could have swapped them out all for shelled pistachios.

[Anthony]

Or if he really want to put in the time, he could have taken them out of the shell, taken the pistachio out of the shell and just gave him a bunch of shells.

[Shane]

Oh, a bunch of shells.

[Anthony]

Bunch of shells. Yeah.

[Shane]

Or went through all the pistachios that have shells on them and only left in the ones that are, you know, sometimes the little guy, they don't quite like there's not enough of a gap

[Ian]

to actually open them.

[Anthony]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Shane]

Break a fingernail opening.

[Ian]

I really can't do anything that I have to shell. I struggle with that stuff. I'm like, I don't wanna work for this.

[Shane]

Okay. Privile.

[Anthony]

I'll crack those thick ass nuts in my teeth, though. And it's scary.

[Ian]

That's crazy.

[Anthony]

It's scary. You're like, I might lose something.

[Ian]

You know what he also could have done is attached the bag of pistachios to, like, a. Like a string, like a pulley system. So when he grabbed the pistachios, two logs came down and smacked.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Ian]

Okay, great, Great.

[Shane]

That's going to be an awkward.

[Ian]

He walks into his office. The guy's hanging from the ceiling. Like, whoa. Yeah, yeah.

[Anthony]

You know, did this guy not watch Home Alone? Were his wheels not turning? Yeah, clearly.

[Ian]

I mean, he can up his game here.

[Anthony]

Yeah. Instead he hurt his stomach. Instead, he felt full.

[Ian]

Yeah. Congrats, man. Ate a bunch of pistachios. You could have just take. If you're gonna eat them all, just take the pistachios home. Like, what are you doing? Why did you eat the guy in one sitting?

[Shane]

There's so many other things he could have done, and he chose the silliest opportunity.

[Anthony]

I want to know if the dude came in and was like, where are they? They.

[Shane]

Where am I? They're in my.

[Ian]

They're in my belly. They're in me. Then I'm gonna eat you.

[Shane]

Just tears open his stomach.

[Ian]

All right, well, that was our final story.

[Shane]

Wow.

[Anthony]

Wow.

[Ian]

Some good vengeance today. Was there nothing? Well, nothing beats the. The one guy who's the brother got Yahoo Chief, cheated on his girlfriend, and then she slept with his brother.

[Shane]

That's peak.

[Ian]

That's peak vengeance. The rest was kind of silly, but still good.

[Anthony]

If anyone sleeps with my childhood friend, I'm gonna sleep with their brother.

[Ian]

All right. And you heard it here, folks.

[Anthony]

It's the way the cookie crumbles.

[Ian]

That's just how it goes.

[Anthony]

How it goes. It's the only logical thing.

[Ian]

Hey, look, it's what you have to do. Any. Anyways, thank you both for joining me. Of course, had a great time.

[Anthony]

Thank you.

[Ian]

And

[Shane]

of course, I don't know, the way you said it, I was like, I'm just wrapping it up.

[Ian]

I'm just wrapping it up. Sure.

[Shane]

Look.

[Ian]

Yeah. You walk into my office and I have a bowl of pistachio nuts, and I'm like, go ahead, Ian. Help yourself.

[Shane]

You're like, what are you gonna face he wants.

[Ian]

I'm on the phone with your brother.

[Shane]

No, no.

[Ian]

Calling your brother now.

[Shane]

This is how I find out I have a brother.

[Ian]

You found your long lost brother and I fucked him.

[Shane]

I went on ancestry.com I have a brother. Your brother and I.

[Ian]

And you're just like. You just put the pistachio back in the.

[Shane]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ian]

Okay. All right. Thank you both for joining.

[Anthony]

Thank you.

[Ian]

And thank you for watching. Watching. We'll see you next Saturday. Goodbye. Thanks again to Doordash for sponsoring this episode of Reddit Stories.