C (5:24)
I was sleeping in my van. Even though I had money and could get hotel rooms and things like that, I didn't see any reason, like once or twice a week to get a good night's sleep and a shower and things like that. I like to sleep on the beach. I would go out there and spend a whole night out there gazing at the stars. It's not real good sleep out there. It gets really cold. Believe it or not, I was on Siesta Beach. I had spent the night out there and I just kind of looked at it and was like, man, why would people come out on the beach and just like, leave trash? I've got nothing to do, so why not start picking up some garbage and helping clean up the earth? This gave me an opportunity to do my part with it. I was probably doing it two or three times a week for a couple hours at a time. You could call it therapeutic in a way. I would absolutely think about the children while I was picking up trash. I'm a father of seven kids. I've worked my entire life, you know, 50 to 60 hour work weeks, just totally balls to the walls, workaholic kind of guy. My ex and I, we struggled a lot through the years. And at this point in time, my ex had taken off, she had the children. So everything I knew was just absolutely demolished. For the first time in my life, I was like completely alone. Definitely at a low point in my life. Nobody to turn to, nothing to trust. And in an argument with the entire universe, like there wasn't a point for me to live. I had kids for all those years and a wife, and now all of a sudden, nothing. I mean, just trying to bring any kind of light into my dark world that I possibly could. So July 17, I spent the night on the beach. It's Sunday, you know, I actually got a smile on my face. I'm at the beach and I get a phone call from a client of mine up in Paris. I was doing sprinklers and landscape, mainly sprinklers, for about 25 years or so. I had just done some work at his house actually, and sure enough, his filter was leaking. And when I left his house in Paris, I came across this little dirt road that I've never really noticed before. I didn't spend a whole lot of time out that way. So I turned down the dirt road and they got this really cool little like shop there. Looks like a house kind of, but it's like a little convenience store right on the property. I go inside and when I come back out, there's a lotto ticket on the ground to scratch off. Scratch it off is a fifty dollar winner. I was like, dang, I've never found that before. So I took it in. Cash that in. Like, I'm having a great day, right? There was some people hanging out and stuff. I turn on some music, I start cleaning my van out. I was in a great mood, so let me do something good for these people. So I started picking up trash there. There was brush on the other side of the road opposite the fence. There's trash on the other side of it. The first steps, I was following trash into the woods and throwing it over the fence. I started making piles of trash back through the woods. The brush is so thick. I was literally pushing myself through there. And it's, you know, all oak trees, vines, thorns. You couldn't walk. There was no pathway or nothing like that. Just overgrown brush intertangled with each other. So I'm getting cut up already. I finally came to a big open area and I kept looking at them woods. I kept looking at them. I'm like, man, I want to go have some fun. I guess I just had a hankering for being in the woods. I was like, you know what? This trash stuff can wait. To hell with it. And I just took off running through the woods, Going into the woods that Day I had a lot of resentment for everything around me, including myself. A lot of regret. Wish I did this right, wish I didn't do this wrong. When you're going through something that intense as losing your children, losing your whole life, I think I blamed myself too much. I think I was trying to release myself from reflecting on that because that was all that was ever on my mind. Very tough, very depressing. I was trying to escape that stuff. Like I'd rather endure some physical pain. Like I'm trying to get rid of the rest of that pain. I got so far into there and I didn't know how to get out. I was cut from a head to toe. I couldn't see anything. I'm like, do I keep going or do I turn around? I figured if I kept going, I would eventually find like another open area or something like that, that I wouldn't be getting cut up anymore. I had come so far through it. I'm like, man, it's got to be closer to keep going. I wandered around for roughly another three hours or so. I didn't really know where I was going or what I was doing. I seen some really tall grasses that I knew grew alongside of lakes, so I knew there was water there. And at this point, I'm just absolutely dying of thirst. It hurts to walk. So then I pushed myself through the grasses. That's when I came out to the waterside. When I was standing there, I could see my van. I was just so cut up and I was in so much pain. I was so happy to see my van. I knew it was about 8, 30, 9 o' clock at night because the sun was almost down, but it wasn't completely down. I knew I was running out of time and I didn't want to be in those woods. I felt like I could swim across there in like 30, 40 minutes and basically just make it before it got dark. I just do it. Just make it. So I decided to go ahead and get into the water. I just think about how much pain I'm in. That water is going to feel so good on all of these cuts. Oh my God. I can drink the water too. As I'm swimming, all my problems are solved. Like the whole world just came together. Oh my goodness. The distance between where my van was and where I was getting in the lake was like a mile and a half. I felt really confident in my ability to be able to make it across my first steps into the lake. I had already taken my boots off. I stepped into the water barefoot with my Boots in my hand and tried to swim like that. At first, I was taking strokes with them in my hand, and they're soaking wet. They were just so heavy. They're, like dragging me down while I'm trying to hold them. The boots were a representation of my work, so I grabbed onto those things like they were my life. I refused to let them go. And I was like, man, you're gonna drown if you don't. You know, I'm having this big internal struggle. So I dropped the boots. I'm continuing on, and I'm swimming and still struggling. The pants are weighing me down. And I was like, man, I'm not dropping these pants. My identification is in my wallet. Eventually, I had to drop the pants. Once all that was gone, it was pretty easy to swim. When I was finally naked in the water and the water was deep enough to where I wasn't kicking sticks and things like that, physically, I was relaxed. As I began to swim, my van was getting closer and closer and closer. And until I hit a certain point, every time I look up, it was basically in the same place. I don't want to say it was getting further away, but, you know, when it's not getting closer, it's getting further. Now I'm stuck in this current in the middle of the lake, and no matter what I was doing, I would come back where I felt like the same exact spot. I felt like I was swimming in circles. I felt stuck. I didn't know what I was going to do. How the heck am I going to get out of here? It was just like, all right, keep you cool, man. You'll get out of this. You get yourself out of all kinds of crap in your life. If you start panicking, you are going to drown. So, yeah, just stay cool. I'm just, like, kind of hanging out, floating on my back and swimming around. And I was just like, the heck with it, man. I'm gonna. I'm gonna hang out and save my energy for right now, and we'll get this figured out. As I'm floating on my back and gazing up at the stars, I see these three stars triangulated. And I was like, that's kind of cool. And I was like, son of a gun, that looks like an alligator. I was just so relaxed and trying to kind of do my thing so that I could last in that water. But when I did see those stars and they remind me of an alligator, I did take it as a sign. You know, the cosmos has a way of speaking to you sometimes. That's When I came to realization there could be one really close. And sure enough, when I flipped over on my stomach, there was an alligator a foot and a half away from me. I could see his eye and part of his snout above the water. As I gazed into the alligator's eye, the one eye that I saw, it was yellow. I knew this was a dinosaur next to me. There was no mistaking it was a big lizard. I took off swimming immediately. I mean, the second I seen that eye, it was like one motion and me moving so fast made the alligator go ahead. And he struck my right forearm just as the tip of my fingers would, touching the water. The speed of the alligator was unbelievable. It struck like a snake. Right away, it clamped down. When the teeth went into me, it's like, really? It didn't hurt that bad. Like, not like what you would think it would. I was like, damn, there's teeth in my arm. At that point, out of pure instinct, I rolled over and grabbed the alligator with my other arm to try to stop them from doing the death row. They start spinning around to kill their prey or snap limbs. I was gripping the alligator as tightly as I could. My arm barely fit around the alligator, and I did get a piece of his underbelly. It wasn't slimy. It was kind of rough, like leathery. What happened next? Because I was holding onto the ribs of the alligator, it tried to take me underwater. And then the alligator began to try to drown me. The first time the alligator took me underwater, all I knew to do was keep kicking. I wasn't underneath the water for, you know, more than 5, 5, 6 seconds at a time. Even though it was only seconds, it felt like an eternity. I was feeling like I was gonna drown at that point. I'm underneath there, suffocating. I'm back up above the water, and I'm back underneath. Like, the second I could get a breath. When I would push the alligator up from the water after being under, it wasn't but a half a second of being able to catch my breath. It felt like I was coming up and down like a thousand times. I would swear that I died a thousand times. And it was like, God was like, no, you're not dying yet. Try this again. Try this again. Try this again. So the alligator pulled me under three times, and on the third time, my hand slipped off of the ribs of the alligator and it was able to death roll. And it. Because my arm was already snapped backwards, it ripped the flesh off and was able to take from my elbow down. I remember everything Turning black for a millisecond, the alligator just kind of vanished. I don't know if he went underwater. My first thought was like, that arm's gone. I knew that was definitely done with that. It threw me in a serious state of paranoia. Once it was gone, it was gone. There was no question about it. And I didn't see any blood. I didn't see anything. Like, by this time, it's like 11:30 at night. It's pitch dark out. There's no street lights where I'm hanging out at. I was in the wrong part of town. After the alligator took off with my arm, I turned around and began to swim to the shore that I came from. I started heading that way and actually making headway. I'm kicking and swimming and worried about the alligator coming up from behind me. I was on pure adrenaline, swimming with one arm for the first time and losing my arm just like 10 seconds before. All I'm thinking in my head is, oh, my God, my arm is gone. At this point is when it's actually setting in that I lost an arm. I'm like, I cannot believe I lost an entire arm. I cannot believe this. And I gotta get back, back here. How am I going to get out of here? I just kept looking forward, trying to get out of there, scared out of my mind, paddling as hard as I could and thinking the alligators coming up behind me the whole time. It took me about a half an hour, maybe 45 minutes to get back to where I came from. As I hit the edge of the water and I pushed through some of these grasses, I wanted to get as far away from that water as I possibly could. I was just in survival mode that just. Man, you got to get away from this water and you got to get away from this water now. You already lost one arm. You don't want to lose another arm. I was worried about a lot of other body parts, too. It wasn't just my arm. I had to push back through some grasses and. And I found an opening with a tree stump about 8 foot tall or so. And I remember laying there. It's like at this point, probably midnight, maybe one o' clock at night, and I'm laying there, just waiting to see the grass start parting and the alligator coming through the swamp and through those grasses. Very unsettling. Eventually, I caught my breath. I was still in a heck of a lot of pain, if you can imagine, Just having the worst, nastiest cut you've ever had and the air blowing on it. If I haven't bled out yet and I lost like half of my arm. Then I'm not going to bleed out. I had a really hard time to even calm myself down enough to actually go to sleep. Exhaustion, fatigue. It finally did set in. I was at the tree stump less than an hour before I ended up passing out.