Podcast Summary: Snap Judgment – "The Last Thing on the List"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Snap Judgment
• Host/Author: Snap Judgment and PRX
• Episode: The Last Thing on the List
• Release Date: January 23, 2025
• Description: Snap Judgment delivers cinematic, dramatic radio by blending real stories with killer beats. The show encourages listeners to view the world through others' perspectives, offering powerful storytelling with a musical edge.

Introduction

Glen Washington opens the episode by expressing his gratitude in sharing personal stories and emphasizing the authenticity that comedians bring to their craft. He introduces Cassandra D, a professional stand-up comedian who has battled depression and suicidal ideation while finding solace and expression through humor.

"Sometimes the applause is all you have when you're listening to the Snap Judgment."
Glen Washington [01:40]

Cassandra D’s Early Life and Family Dynamics

Cassandra discusses her upbringing in a tumultuous family environment, where constant yelling and screaming were normalized. She recounts a turning point inspired by the TV show Roseanne, which made her realize that her family wasn't as abnormal as she once thought.

"If you are always holding half of a donut, it always looks like you're on your your first donut."
Cassandra D [41:44]

Discovering Comedy as a Coping Mechanism

Facing bullying and self-esteem issues from a young age, Cassandra turned to writing and performing comedy as a way to cope with her struggles. She explains how stand-up became a necessary outlet for her to express and process her emotions.

"Nothing's ever funnier than what actually happened. And the hardest person to laugh at is always yourself."
Glen Washington [01:40]

Rise in Comedy and Finding Her Voice

Cassandra's dedication to comedy led to numerous bookings and participation in esteemed events like the Boston Comedy Festival. Her unique blend of humor, focusing on dark subjects such as depression and suicide, resonated with audiences, helping to destigmatize mental health issues.

"After years of trying different antidepressants, I ended up on Prozac, a children's dose of Prozac. And it solved everything."
Cassandra D [08:15]

Impact of the Pandemic on Her Career and Mental Health

The onset of the COVID-19 pandemic brought unprecedented challenges for Cassandra. With shows canceled and increased isolation due to living with immunocompromised parents, her mental health deteriorated significantly.

"I felt very much at the beginning of the pandemic that it was meant to hurt me."
Cassandra D [22:07]

Suicidal Ideation and the Critical Moment

Cassandra narrates a pivotal moment on April 3rd, when her depression and anger culminated in a severe suicidal crisis. She describes the frantic race between receiving antidepressants and suicidal materials from Amazon, illustrating the chaotic state of her mind.

"It was like a race. My brain may have been like, I'm gonna kill myself. I'm gonna kill myself. I'm gonna kill myself."
Cassandra D [27:23]

Averting Tragedy and Seeking Help

In a serendipitous twist, the timely arrival of her antidepressants halted her suicidal plans. This critical intervention allowed Cassandra to live and continue her journey toward healing, highlighting the importance of accessible mental health resources.

"I did not kill myself. I didn't try to kill myself. I didn't throw away the stuff. I just put it away."
Cassandra D [31:41]

Balancing Comedy and Mental Health

Cassandra reflects on the delicate balance between using comedy to address mental health issues and the risk of becoming desensitized to her own struggles. She discusses the challenges of integrating personal pain into her performances without it overwhelming her.

"The more I normalize talking about it on stage, the more it kind of, like, seeps into the rest of my life."
Cassandra D [32:42]

Final Reflections and Moving Forward

Cassandra shares her decision to temporarily step back from performing dark jokes about suicide to prevent them from dominating her life and performances. She emphasizes the ongoing journey of self-discovery and the importance of sharing her story to help others.

"I can't control how anyone receives my comedy in any way, whether today or a day after I kill myself. Though I do hope that when someone hears my jokes about killing myself, I do hope it makes them laugh."
Cassandra D [37:29]

Conclusion and Tribute

The episode concludes with Glen Washington thanking Cassandra for her courageous storytelling. He highlights her comedy special "Uncle Earth," available for free on YouTube, and acknowledges the collaborative efforts of the production team. A heartfelt message from Brent Wein of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention underscores the episode’s critical message about suicide prevention and seeking help.

"Suicide is a leading cause of death in the US but it is often preventable. Help is available. If you or a loved one is in crisis, please reach out to the 988 suicide crisis lifeline."
Brent Wein [Final Tribute]

Additional Segment: Caitlyn Gill’s Story

Following Cassandra's narrative, the episode features Caitlyn Gill, another comedian, sharing a personal and humorous story about a traumatic experience involving a minivan accident. Her tale underscores themes of self-acceptance and finding humor in adversity.

"I lost 30 pounds in 10 days. That's not Weight Watchers. That's when doctors start watching your kid."
Caitlyn Gill [41:44]

Closing Remarks

Glen Washington wraps up the episode, emphasizing the powerful stories shared and encouraging listeners to engage with the Snap Judgment community. He acknowledges the contributors and sets the stage for future episodes.

Notable Quotes:

• "I have to stop talking about this to try to stop feeling like I want to do it."
  Cassandra D [36:12]

• "Dear Caitlin, sorry we ran you over. Apologies accepted."
  Caitlyn Gill [41:44]

Key Takeaways:

• Courage in Sharing: Cassandra D’s story exemplifies the bravery required to share personal struggles publicly, fostering a sense of community and understanding around mental health.

• Comedy as Therapy: Utilizing humor to address dark subjects can be both healing and a double-edged sword, necessitating balance to prevent desensitization.

• Critical Interventions: Timely access to mental health resources, such as antidepressants and supportive relationships, can be life-saving.

• Impact of External Factors: Events like the COVID-19 pandemic can exacerbate existing mental health issues, highlighting the need for robust support systems during crises.

Resources Mentioned:

• Cassandra’s Comedy Special: Uncle Earth available for free on YouTube via Helium Comedy Studios.
• American Foundation for Suicide Prevention: afsp.org
• 988 Suicide Crisis Lifeline: Dial 988 for immediate assistance.

Final Note:

This episode of Snap Judgment masterfully intertwines personal narratives with broader societal issues, offering listeners a profound look into the lives of comedians who navigate mental health challenges. Through engaging storytelling and candid reflections, Cassandra D and Caitlyn Gill illuminate the complex interplay between humor and healing.