Briston Maroney Doesn't Want to Live Forever

Summary

Podcast Summary: So True with Caleb Hearon – Episode: "Briston Maroney Doesn't Want to Live Forever"

Release Date: September 12, 2024
Host: Caleb Hearon
Guest: Briston Maroney
Podcast Platform: Headgum

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1. Introduction and Personal Connections

The episode kicks off with a warm exchange between host Caleb Hearon and guest Briston Maroney. They discover a surprising personal connection:

• Caleb Hearon [01:02]: "We were born on the same day. I know. Can you believe January 24th."
• Briston Maroney [01:06]: "That's fucking cute."

This shared birthday serves as a foundation for their ensuing conversation, highlighting their existing friendship and mutual admiration.

2. Navigating Anxiety and Substance Use

Briston delves into his struggles with anxiety, attributing part of his demeanor to past substance use:

• Briston Maroney [01:32]: "Over the years of my relationship with substances, I think that I've become really somewhat subdued and I think that that really lends itself to coming off as wise sometimes."
• Caleb Hearon [06:19]: "Dealing with anxiety is such a killer because a lot of times it manifests, at least for me, as doubt and decision paralysis."

They discuss how anxiety impacts their professional lives, with Briston reflecting on his "minute detail anxiety" and Caleb sharing his experiences with performance-related stress.

3. Celebrating Friendship and Collaboration

The duo expresses deep appreciation for each other's presence and support:

• Caleb Hearon [03:17]: "You guys talk, and then I sprint away."
• Briston Maroney [03:36]: "You have been truly, like, such a light to us."

Their friendship is portrayed as a source of joy and stability amidst the chaos of personal and professional challenges.

4. Music Career Challenges and Creative Burnout

Briston opens up about the pressures of turning his passion for music into a career:

• Briston Maroney [07:48]: "It's something that I've tried to think about a lot in recent months. Like, just the concept of, okay, you going out and doing a heinously horrendous set. Like, there's risk involved."
• Caleb Hearon [21:45]: "Everything starts to get muddied. The most basic thing of just, like, I would like to make something that has an emotion becomes, like, so far removed from what I'm doing."

They explore the dichotomy between creating art for emotional expression versus making it a means of income, highlighting the resultant creative crises and the struggle to maintain authenticity.

5. Touring and the Music Industry Insights

The conversation shifts to the logistics and emotional toll of touring:

• Caleb Hearon [37:50]: "Don't touch our merch."
• Briston Maroney [38:03]: "It is crazy to me."

They critique industry practices, such as venues taking a significant percentage of merchandise sales, and discuss the isolation and challenges of being on tour, emphasizing the importance of personal connections and mental well-being.

6. Personal Reflections and Philosophies

Both hosts share introspective thoughts on life, legacy, and personal fulfillment:

• Briston Maroney [49:46]: "What is so true to me? It's just having a good day and good vibes."
• Caleb Hearon [52:29]: "People are obsessed with extending life. They want to live as long as they can."

They ponder existential themes, valuing genuine moments and relationships over the pursuit of longevity, and express a desire to leave behind meaningful memories rather than seeking immortality.

7. Trivia Segment: Testing Knowledge

In a playful interlude, Caleb engages Briston in a trivia challenge:

• Caleb Hearon [61:56]: "I'm going to read you 15 statements, okay? And you're going to tell me as quickly as you can if you think they're true or false."

The segment includes questions about historical facts, pop culture, and random trivia, showcasing their camaraderie and ability to engage in light-hearted fun despite deeper conversations.

8. Conclusion and Final Thoughts

As the episode wraps up, both hosts reflect on the value of their conversations and the impact of their creative endeavors:

• Caleb Hearon [64:33]: "I'm so, so glad that you came on the podcast."
• Briston Maroney [64:57]: "I genuinely could not and do not want anything beyond that."

They reaffirm their mutual respect and gratitude, emphasizing the importance of authentic connections and shared creative journeys.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• [01:02] Caleb Hearon: "We were born on the same day. I know. Can you believe January 24th."
• [07:48] Briston Maroney: "It's something that I've tried to think about a lot in recent months. Like, just the concept of, okay, you going out and doing a heinously horrendous set. Like, there's risk involved."
• [21:45] Caleb Hearon: "Everything starts to get muddied. The most basic thing of just, like, I would like to make something that has an emotion becomes, like, so far removed from what I'm doing."
• [49:46] Briston Maroney: "What is so true to me? It's just having a good day and good vibes."
• [52:29] Caleb Hearon: "People are obsessed with extending life. They want to live as long as they can."

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Key Themes and Insights

• Balancing Art and Commerce: Both Caleb and Briston discuss the inherent tension between creating art for personal fulfillment versus its commercialization, leading to creative burnout and existential dilemmas.

• Mental Health and Anxiety: The episode sheds light on how anxiety affects their creative processes and personal lives, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and coping mechanisms.

• Industry Critique: They provide candid critiques of the music and comedy industries, highlighting unfair practices and the isolating nature of touring and performing.

• Authentic Connections: Despite the challenges, the value of genuine friendships and supportive relationships stands out as a cornerstone of their personal and professional lives.

• Legacy and Fulfillment: The conversation touches on deeper philosophical questions about legacy, the desire for meaningful experiences, and the acceptance of mortality.

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This episode of "So True with Caleb Hearon" offers an intimate glimpse into the lives of two creative individuals navigating the complexities of art, mental health, and personal relationships. Through honest dialogue and shared experiences, Caleb and Briston provide listeners with relatable insights and heartfelt reflections.

Transcript

[Briston Maroney]

Something that I've tried to think about a lot in recent months. Like just the concept of. Okay, you going out and doing a heinously horrendous set. Like there's risk involved.

[Caleb Heron]

I don't know if I said that.

[Briston Maroney]

This is like a true. Like a fever dream.

[Caleb Heron]

This is an honor.

[Briston Maroney]

It's so for me to have you nanas to be here. Thank you.

[Caleb Heron]

I can't believe you agreed to do this.

[Briston Maroney]

You know, I felt very charitable today.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah, yeah. This is dangerous because I'm gonna be hard on you.

[Briston Maroney]

Please.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Briston Maroney]

Do not take it easy.

[Caleb Heron]

I have immediately something really exciting to tell you that I don't think you even know.

[Briston Maroney]

I'm just like truly sweating.

[Caleb Heron]

Like I have to ask you. Well, no. What order do I want to tell are you?

[Briston Maroney]

I'm 26.

[Caleb Heron]

You're 26?

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

So different years. But I have to tell you, we were born on the same day. I know. Can you believe January 24th.

[Briston Maroney]

How did I not know that?

[Caleb Heron]

I didn't either until I literally read the research for this episode.

[Briston Maroney]

That is fantastic.

[Caleb Heron]

January 24th.

[Briston Maroney]

Nice research. That actually is like. That's my favorite kind of research.

[Caleb Heron]

Same birthday.

[Briston Maroney]

That's fucking cute.

[Caleb Heron]

Can you believe.

[Briston Maroney]

That's amazing. That makes me so happy.

[Caleb Heron]

Three years apart.

[Briston Maroney]

That's okay.

[Caleb Heron]

You do feel. You feel wiser than me. I do think you're.

[Briston Maroney]

Oh, I can. I will immediately tell you that that is not true. I can make that known immediately.

[Caleb Heron]

You have a very wise vibe about you.

[Briston Maroney]

Thank you.

[Caleb Heron]

You have a very kind of. It's not stateliness. That is certainly not the right word. You just have a very. Like what? Like I think you've been here before.

[Briston Maroney]

You know, over the years of my relationship with substances, I think that I've become really somewhat subdued and I think that that really lends itself to coming off as wise sometimes.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah. That's interesting. You think it's the substances?

[Briston Maroney]

100%.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah. Okay.

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah. The long term effects of interesting of the decisions of my youth. Yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

I just think you're really. I think you're really grounded and really smart.

[Briston Maroney]

That's very sweet. And that's what I same to you.

[Caleb Heron]

Every once in a while. I love our friendship, which is semi new in the world of friendships, but I love that every once in a while I can get you to come to my house for 15 or 20 minutes.

[Briston Maroney]

It's been honestly the highlight of my. The collective 45 minutes I've been at your home in the year that I've been in la.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Briston Maroney]

Highlight.

[Caleb Heron]

I'LL throw a big party, and I'll say, briston, please come. I want to see you. And then you'll come for 15 or 20 minutes.

[Briston Maroney]

It's because I'm terrified of the world. I get to see you, and you're like, social butterfly. Like, killing it. And then I'm, like, lingering in the corner, like, looking at what's in the fridge. And then I'm like, I should just go home. Like, I'm so scared to be here. You're so hosting.

[Caleb Heron]

I'm literally running around. I mean, like, you guys talk, and then I sprint away.

[Briston Maroney]

You're like, it's. Yeah, it's. You're so good at it. Like, puppet master. Like, literally, like, just setting people up, like, making these social. Like, just, like, beautiful fireworks happen.

[Caleb Heron]

People sometimes love it and people sometimes hate it. But when I'm hosting a party, my big move is to walk up to, like, if I see a group of three that all knows each other and a group of two or four that all knows each other, I'll go, you guys. Oh, hey, you guys. Meet each other. And then I go, anyone want a drink? And then I run away and I go, continuing to engineer. And some of my friends have been like, you know, we're actually all adults who are really capable of talking to other people. And I go, no worries.

[Briston Maroney]

I am, like, your dream client. Like, me being in your home is, like, truly, like, the people that you've introduced me to. And just, like, those moments are, like, I live for that shit. Like, I cannot operate on my own.

[Caleb Heron]

I love it. I think it's so fun to be, like, you guys, be friends.

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah. It, like, genuinely, like, we've met so many sweet people through those moments, and, like, yeah, it's been really awesome to have. I did want to say this to you on your podcast. Like, you have been truly, like, such a light to us. Like, yeah. Yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

Your check is in the mail. Thank you.

[Briston Maroney]

That's what I like to hear. I'll use it to move to New York with you, but we're getting that in. Yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

No, y'all are the best, you and Sam. I literally, I am so excited that. I mean, I met you guys, like, at your going away party in Nashville.

[Briston Maroney]

I know. I like, honestly, that interaction, like, still burns my brain. I feel like I was so weird to you that night. I genuinely, like, that is a laying in bed crosses my mind thing sometimes how weird I was.

[Caleb Heron]

I was in Nashville for something. I don't even remember what.

[Briston Maroney]

Maybe something with Annie.

[Caleb Heron]

Well, definitely with Annie. That's my girl.

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah, she's my favorite.

[Caleb Heron]

And she was like, yeah, you gotta come. And I was like, oh, my God, I'm a huge fan of them. I would love to come to their going away party. How fun. I love your music.

[Briston Maroney]

Oh, thank you.

[Caleb Heron]

I have to say, you know, I'm a fan.

[Briston Maroney]

Thank you.

[Caleb Heron]

I'm really deep in there.

[Briston Maroney]

I'm honored.

[Caleb Heron]

I'm really listening all the time.

[Briston Maroney]

Thank you. Thank you. The liner notes. You're on. I'm in the genius.

[Caleb Heron]

I'm checking song credits. I'm saying who. Who wrote on this? Who produced?

[Briston Maroney]

Was that you who explained the lyrics of every song on the last record on Genius?

[Caleb Heron]

Yes.

[Briston Maroney]

Okay, cool.

[Caleb Heron]

I was happy to do that.

[Briston Maroney]

You did a great job.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah, it cost me a lot of money though.

[Briston Maroney]

Sure.

[Caleb Heron]

I took off work, I canceled gigs.

[Briston Maroney]

And I charged you.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah, you did charge me for that.

[Briston Maroney]

I vent mode you, I requested a thousand dollars for.

[Caleb Heron]

You're a very ungenerous person.

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah, I try. Charity is something I'd. I do not fuck with.

[Caleb Heron]

No, it's not you. You don't have that within you.

[Briston Maroney]

Thumbs down. Yeah, I'm not interested in that.

[Caleb Heron]

I've always said that I will not do for others.

[Briston Maroney]

I like vanity and I like hatred.

[Caleb Heron]

I'm a big hatred guy. I'm a big what's good for me. And also forget about others.

[Briston Maroney]

What can I. Yeah, how can I benefit from something while other people don't?

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah, specifically because I only enjoy it if I know that other people are not enjoying it. You just did Lollapalooza.

[Briston Maroney]

We just did Lollapalooza.

[Caleb Heron]

How was it?

[Briston Maroney]

It was the hottest day in history, but it was like the best day of my life. It was so fun.

[Caleb Heron]

Outdoor music is tough.

[Briston Maroney]

It is it like, specifically for the type of anxiety that I have every day. It's like kind of my nightmare. Like, not knowing if at any moment something could, like, completely change the entire day, like weather wise or like, I don't know, it just increases the number of things that can, like, blow up in your face.

[Caleb Heron]

What specific type of anxiety do you have? Do you think?

[Briston Maroney]

It's a really. It's like a pretty common flavor. It's like minute detail anxiety. Like, I freak out about the intricacies of like, you know, in like the early 2000s movies where it's like the scene where it's like the camera goes into somebody's brain and it's like going through all of their. That's like me, but not in a cool way. Not in, like, a stylistically appealing way.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah. It doesn't feel like a movie at all. No.

[Briston Maroney]

No. More of a. Yeah, more of a. Just living nightmare.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Briston Maroney]

It's been a lovely existence so far for me. Yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

So funny. Yeah. I feel like you're. How do you feel about earnestness as a concept?

[Briston Maroney]

I can. I almost asked if I could swear. I can swear. I can, like.

[Caleb Heron]

Oh, brother. You can swear on here.

[Briston Maroney]

It's cool. If I cuss.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah, you can cuss on here. Curse words are kind of our thing.

[Briston Maroney]

I feel like we should totally explore why I asked that question at some point.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah. Yeah. At some point in the world.

[Briston Maroney]

I fuck with earnestness is what I think.

[Caleb Heron]

You're an earnest guy.

[Briston Maroney]

Thank you. I think humility is a thing that I've really analyzed a lot over the past few years of my life. It can definitely be weaponized. And I think where I came from, and I'm from Tennessee, and there's just a general pressure for humility to be a part of your everyday life. And I think people, like, kind of become addicted to that, and it can be as heinous of a thing as, like, being overly confident and being an asshole.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Briston Maroney]

So I've, like, really, in the past few years, tried to, like, analyze moments where I'm like, am I trying to be humble so that people like me more or something? You know what I mean? As opposed to being, like. Well, no. I, like, generally, I want to genuinely have, like, a grasp on my relationship to art I'm making or things I'm doing that isn't based in, like, outward validation. You know what I mean?

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Briston Maroney]

Does that even, like, make fucking sense?

[Caleb Heron]

It absolutely does.

[Briston Maroney]

Okay.

[Caleb Heron]

I think it's a balance between. We all have to do, like, perception management all the time.

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

About, like, how are people perceiving me and what do I seem like? And. And, like, that is something we're all always thinking about to some extent.

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

Like, oh, did I seem like a nice person when I said thank you just then? Or did it seem fake or whatever? That's all on some level, for some of us, much more consciously, which I think is usually anxiety, and some of us much more subconsciously, which is less anxiety. But, yeah, we're all doing that. And so, like, humility can become this thing of, like. Especially in. Yeah. A place like Tennessee or a place like Missouri, like, places that are, like, pretty white or pretty Christian or pretty just. You're like, Euro. I think humility can become. Yes. A weapon, like, a thing of, like, it's more important than anything else. It's more important than being honest or more important than, like, you're not supposed to, like, you're almost not supposed to like yourself.

[Briston Maroney]

Totally, you know. Oh, 100%.

[Caleb Heron]

That's crazy to me.

[Briston Maroney]

It, like, fucks you up so much.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Briston Maroney]

Then you, like, start questioning your motives internally. If you're, like. Especially if you're predisposed to any type of anxiety, you start questioning your motives on everything you're doing. And then, like, genuinely awesome moments in your life become, like, these weird mirrors where you're like, well, who? Like, what? Am I allowed to be happy? Should I hate myself? Should I not hate myself? Like, what the. Like, what do I do?

[Caleb Heron]

Like, should I hate myself? Is such a funny question.

[Briston Maroney]

Oh, I asked what y'all think?

[Caleb Heron]

Should I hate myself today?

[Briston Maroney]

Oh, yeah. Let's do a poll. Regularly doing that poll with myself and other people verbally out loud.

[Caleb Heron]

So funny. Well, anxiety is a particular. I mean, it's. So dealing with anxiety is such. I've gotten better about it over the years, personally, but it is such a. It's such a killer because a lot of times it manifests, at least for me, and, like, just doubt and decision paralysis, like, how to. Like, how to be or what to say or what to do or what to wear or how to feel about a situation. I can never quite make a decision when I'm feeling super anxious because it's just, like, this thing that's, like, beating inside of you, being like. Well, it could be the wrong thing.

[Briston Maroney]

Totally.

[Caleb Heron]

That sucks.

[Briston Maroney]

I mean, nothing beats it, though. Like, just doing the thing. Yeah, we were kind of talking about that earlier. Like, honestly, when you, like, turning point in my life was when you asked me to do that show in New York. Like, I think I told you that night. And it maybe it seemed like I was, like, just being silly, but I was like, oh, I'm gonna die. Like, I'm so nervous that I'm going to die right now, tonight. And, like, I was so scared to just be in an environment, like, with someone like you, who I, like, look up to, and, like, you know, I just, like, had to face that fear and went out and, like, played a couple songs and, like, ended up, like, riffing. Maybe a little too much.

[Caleb Heron]

No, you killed. You killed. And they love the riffs, but, like.

[Briston Maroney]

Get just, like, I don't know, just facing the thing and, like, getting through 10 minutes of, like, physically, like, shaking and, like, confronting this anxiety that things were gonna go wrong, like, really set me free and like, my time in LA has been full of experiences like that.

[Caleb Heron]

Like, that's so funny because as a. As a cool and successful musician, being on a show of mine, you are, like, objectively the coolest person within a square mile, you know, like, me and. Me and my fans are such humiliating little figures.

[Briston Maroney]

Caleb, I talked about. I talked about Baldur's Gate 3. I talked about Dungeons and Dragons. I literally described my Baldur's Gate 3 build to an audience of people. It's like a nightmare and a dream come true.

[Caleb Heron]

It was great. I do have a tendency of anyone who will go along, like, I did tell you, hey, I think you should fly to New York on a whim and do my show.

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

And you did it. And I also. That's how I got. That's how I got Annie Dusso hooked into my little world as well, was I was like, I think you should fly to New York and do my show.

[Briston Maroney]

Y'all were like, cosmically meant to be in each other's eyes.

[Caleb Heron]

Annie is my soulmate. Annie D. Russo. Listen, girl, I don't know if you know or not. Annie is really. I met her and I was like, when we first met, it was so rushed and so we met at like a party at south by years ago. But really when we started hanging out after that, I was like, oh, this is a person who I'm like, truly, like, meant to be friends with.

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah, I feel the same way. Like, her and the whole squad, Eden and everybody. The boys, my family, dude. Yeah. Especially, like, just meeting them in Nashville, which, like, I have a lot of love for Nashville, but in the last year that I was there, it just really felt like the walls were like, caving in intensely. And meeting someone like Annie who's just like, so open minded and so like, just a great reminder that the world is so much bigger than whatever tiny spot you feel like you're in when you feel stuck.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Briston Maroney]

Like such a. Yeah. Such a beautiful presence.

[Caleb Heron]

The Nashville crew, everyone doing, like, there's so many incredible people doing, well, comedy too, but just making art in Nashville.

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah, totally.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah. All those Eden, Levi and Jol, all those fun, like, I just love everybody that I've met there in the past couple years. I'm just like, damn, Nashville's starting to feel like. I feel like I'm. As I get older, I'm like, collecting new homes.

[Briston Maroney]

Totally.

[Caleb Heron]

Like, I'm like, not physically, no, Just have one of those.

[Briston Maroney]

Your portfolio.

[Caleb Heron]

But yeah. Yeah, I feel like I'm almost collecting real estate.

[Briston Maroney]

It's kind of, like, a game of Monopoly.

[Caleb Heron]

That's fun to me. And I don't mind that other people have zero. I want to have more.

[Briston Maroney]

Well, as we discussed.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah. I want my happiness at their expense. No, I only have one house, y'all, But I feel like I'm collecting new, like, Nashville. I've been spending more and more time because of Annie and just, like, other friends I've had there and doing shows and stuff. And I just feel like Chicago was the first place after college when I went there to do comedy that I was like, this is a new home to me. Like, I feel very at home in Chicago.

[Briston Maroney]

I didn't know you lived there.

[Caleb Heron]

I didn't know you for three years.

[Briston Maroney]

Really?

[Caleb Heron]

For three years I lived in Chicago.

[Briston Maroney]

Oh, my God. That, like, genuinely makes me nervous because I'm, like, such a fan of the Chicago comedy world.

[Caleb Heron]

Like, Chicago comedy, baby.

[Briston Maroney]

Goodness gracious.

[Caleb Heron]

I love Chicago.

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah, it's kind of the best.

[Caleb Heron]

It's kind of faded into the background for me as I've been away from it longer, because there becomes more and more reason to go other places and less and less reason to go to Chicago.

[Briston Maroney]

Sure.

[Caleb Heron]

And not in a spiritual way. There's always a reason to go to Chicago, which is that I love it, but in, like, the little practical, legitimate way.

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

But I did, like, the last time I needed to test shows, I went and did, like, a three night run at Zany's Old Town Chicago.

[Briston Maroney]

No way.

[Caleb Heron]

Chicago is, like, always where I end up, back when I feel like I need to creatively find something.

[Briston Maroney]

Totally.

[Caleb Heron]

But yeah, I just keep collecting. Nashville's a place in the last couple years that I've been like, this feels like a home.

[Briston Maroney]

Good for you for, like, taking those trips and, like, going to those places. Like, it's so important to have places where you can, like, just restore your soul. Like, I was freaking out, honestly. Had a horrendous day yesterday. Just like, you know the days where you just, like, get the call from the manager that you're like, instantly you're like, oh, this is gonna be, like a thumbs down situation. It just inevitably, when you're doing an artistic based career, like, there are just days that are so unpredictable as far as, like, when you feel great things could just turn on a dime. So I had one of those, like, phone calls and then was just talking to Samya about how bummed I was to be here, and she was like, dude, you should just go back to Nashville for, like, four days and, like, get your roots back. I don't know, like it can be that simple. It can, it's just really easy to feel like you're, you're drifting when you do a creative thing. Like, because so much of the appeal of doing this is the variety of like every day is gonna be a little bit different. It's up to you. But that can also, yeah, just put you in this really like, detached place. And it's so important to like have a place where you can go and be yourself and like reconnect with what you. Why you started doing all this episode.

[C]

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[Caleb Heron]

What's going on with you artistically right now? I mean, I know you're touring, but are you working on a new record or.

[Briston Maroney]

I, we just got mixes back on a new EP that I'm like, leave it to me. I straight up make it to me.

[Caleb Heron]

As soon as we end this episode.

[Briston Maroney]

I on the drive here, like visualize the thing where I'm holding the iPhone to the thing and everyone's going fucking crazy. It's like, that's what caffeine does to me. I just visualize playing people my music through a microphone on my iPhone. Yeah, I'll totally send it to you.

[Caleb Heron]

New ap.

[Briston Maroney]

Fucking ridiculous. It's like the goofiest, craziest shit I've made in years and I'm so happy about it.

[Caleb Heron]

So exciting. What's the plan for When's it gonna come out?

[Briston Maroney]

That's, like, kind of the vibe of why the phone call yesterday was really hard. There's, like, all this bullshit with our label, like, going down, so we kind of don't know. But I'm trying to kind of just hold on to the fact that I'm really stoked about the music and letting that steer the ship and just knowing if it's supposed to get where it's supposed to get, then it will.

[Caleb Heron]

But, hey, I'm friends with a couple musicians, and if I know anything about the music industry as an outsider, it's that there's always something going on with the label.

[Briston Maroney]

Good Lord.

[Caleb Heron]

There's always something. Something going on with these people.

[Briston Maroney]

Lord, yeah, they love. Honestly, it's like, kind of a dream job. Cause they're just like. It feels like to someone who doesn't work at a label, working at a label, just, like, you wake up and you're like, how do I fucking fuck this date? Like, what can I do? To what extent can I make everything that this, like, kid that I've promised the world to feel like it's all fucking flipped upside down?

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah. Yeah, it's awesome.

[Briston Maroney]

It's really great. And that's with all the love in the world. To my label, please. I only have a couple more records on the deal. Please.

[Caleb Heron]

We love you guys.

[Briston Maroney]

Just, like, we can get through this together. Like, we just need to talk. It's great. I'm just kidding. I genuinely am so lucky. I do love my label a lot, and I love my people on my.

[Caleb Heron]

No, you've said that a lot. You really do. Yeah. You really appreciate them. Truly. I was. I had dinner last night, actually, with a friend of mine who's head of A and R at a label, and I. You know, it was interesting that she was talking about, like, going to shows all the time and how much it does become, like, work. I'm like, oh, that's. I've always viewed that job as something that I would be really good at and really love.

[Briston Maroney]

Sure.

[Caleb Heron]

And I'm like, oh, if I had to have a different kind of job than the one I have, like, maybe I would like to, like, work at a record label or something. But I'm like, oh, I do always do this. I do always forget that when you try to turn the thing you love into work, it becomes work totally. And it makes so much sense to be like, oh, that would burn you out very quickly.

[Briston Maroney]

Oh, my God. Yeah, it's so. Oh, it's so crazy. Like, we were touching on that earlier, but, like, the idea of, like, I got into all of this, like, any. Any creative adjacent thing that, like, rules my life now. I got into it because I felt like I couldn't explain to the people that I wanted to explain who I was. Like, I had no language to tell them who I was. And then I found music and it felt like that was my chance to be like, oh, my God. In this community, in this world where I felt like, maybe a little misunderstood. I, like, finally found my way to explain what I care about. But now I rely on that thing to, like, keep the lights on, you know what I mean? And it's a really strange combination. And my time in LA honestly has, like, really shined a light on how to my detriment, I, like, put all that pressure on myself to, like, make music my career. Like, and I've really tried to take a step back and make music from a place of, like, just true emotion, like, which, like, is nothing profound. Like, that's not a new idea. But, like, it's crazy how distant I was from, like, the joy that I felt when I was 14 and I had started playing guitar.

[Caleb Heron]

Like, this is the thing that everyone who gets really good at a thing and it becomes their career that I'm. I have heard so many people talk about this. I feel a version of it in my own work and creativity that, like, the thing even you're saying about, like, oh, this isn't profound. It's like the most basic thing. It's like, yeah, that's the problem is that, like, you get so far from the fundamentals and the basics of it. Like, I remember when I was first in Chicago and I was first doing comedy, like, just had moved there fresh out of college. Like, really, like, everything was an option to me. I didn't know if I was gonna do stand up or improv or theater or acting or like, any. Everything was an option. And I would put up material that was so bad, I would put up. I would do shows that were, like, genuinely, like, criminally bad. The idea that people paid money to see it made me physically ill.

[Briston Maroney]

So awesome.

[Caleb Heron]

But I was happy to do it. I was like, I can't wait to do a bad show tonight because I'll learn something from it. And now if I have an incredible. If I do an hour of stand up and it's an incredible show and I have one bad joke, I feel so much guilt that these people had to see me do a bad thing. And I. It's so. I've Gotten really. I'm really having kind of a creative crisis recently, honestly, where I'm like, I've gotten so far from creating, from the place I did when I started out, which was such a pure place to create from that. Yeah. Now it's all about, like, well, if I'm gonna spend time on something, it needs to make money, because now this is how I pay my bills and I have a mortgage and people depend on me, and, like, it does. Everything starts to get muddied. The most basic thing of just, like, I would like to make something that has an emotion becomes, like, so far removed from what I'm doing.

[Briston Maroney]

Oh, my God.

[Caleb Heron]

Do you know what I mean?

[Briston Maroney]

100%. 100%.

[Caleb Heron]

It is the basic things. And I'm like, I would love to get back to making something that has an emotion.

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah, totally. I mean, which is, like, kind of just, like, not. It's incongruent with, like, profiting on something. You know what I mean? Like, it doesn't make sense to combine the two things. Like, they just genuinely are not. They don't belong in the same category, but something that I've tried to think about a lot in recent months. Like, just the concept of, okay, you going out and doing a heinously horrendous set. Like, there's risk involved.

[Caleb Heron]

I don't know if I said that. I don't know if I've ever had one of those.

[Briston Maroney]

You're doing one of the. I don't know, potentially the worst standard.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah, yeah. So you go out and you do something that makes people suicidal. It's so unfunny.

[Briston Maroney]

You harmed your community.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Briston Maroney]

With your early.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah. You took it so far. You go out and you do a set that's like, someone's never been on stage before, and then.

[Briston Maroney]

This is my nightmare. No, you have a hard night. You have an unideal evening. Yeah, there is, like, risk involved when you're young and excited and, like, new to doing a thing that is, like, honestly the best part of what we do. And I think the longer you get to do this, the risks become more apparent and the pressure becomes higher. But I think something people, like, lose touch with a lot that I've really tried to, like, get myself connected with again is, like, the risk is what makes these shows exciting. And we have been doing this long enough now that we have the ability to take those risks and maybe still fall, but not fall as hard as we would have when we were 18. Experimenting with this stuff for the first time, it's so important to hold on to the. I don't know, just like the hours you've put into this. Like, it's not nothing. You know what I mean? Like, we become refined versions of ourselves over years and years and years of doing this. That like, doesn't go away. Like, I talk with the band about that a lot because we're all so, like, predisposed to just being so fucking, like hateful towards ourselves right before we play a show. Like, we are constantly questioning whether or not we're gonna remember the songs that we have played thousands of times. Like classic shit like that. And so I don't know, like, at a certain point, like, it's. It's beyond your cognitive. Like, you don't have to think about it to go. Like, you could totally go do a set where you like, tuned out and you could totally, like just still it's in your body and in your soul at this point. Like, and holding on to that and allowing that to let you take risks is like everything. Like, you can't. Like, that's what the hard work is for. That's why you go up and do, you know. Heinously horrendous.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah. The worst comedy anyone's ever seen. As I do. As I do. What's inspiring you lately? Like, what's. You just did an ep. What's on your mind? What's making you feel good?

[Briston Maroney]

Anything that makes me feel like I'm like 14 year old me. So just like goofy shit. Like, I've always loved comedy, but I'm like a huge kick right now. And like, I don't know, just like literally watching like funny movies. Like, I have such a tendency to, like when I'm like watching, watching movies or listening to music or like reading books to like feel like I need to be like, really, like gaining some gigantic thesis out of all of it. But lately I've just been like, no, I'm watching fucking Scooby Doo, dude. Yeah, I'm watching that live action Scooby Dooby Doo. And I'm gonna love every fucking second of it.

[Caleb Heron]

Do you know what I put on, like two nights ago?

[Briston Maroney]

Tell me.

[Caleb Heron]

I was doing. I had to do a bunch of like, it was like, I was like, fuck, there's all this like logistical shit I need to do. Like, there's like five emails I need to respond to. There's this, that and the other. And I was so annoyed and really dreading it. And I was like, here's what I'm gonna do. I'M gonna order a dinner that I like into the house. I'm gonna sit on the couch while I do the laptop stuff. And I'm gonna put on the stupidest, most vile thing I can think of to be in the background, which usually is Family Guy. And. But I can't do Family Guy anymore because I'll stop and watch it. Like, I literally love it. Like, I literally love Family Guy so much. And I. You know what? I put on Dumb and Dumber.

[Briston Maroney]

No way.

[Caleb Heron]

And it was awesome. It fucking ripped. It's the dumbest movie I've ever seen.

[Briston Maroney]

It's so good.

[Caleb Heron]

Really take, like, comedy movies, too. Used to be, like, now they're so ruined by execs. Sorry. I love you guys, but they're so, like, tightened and all. Like, everything has to have a purpose and a fucking. They Dumb and Dumber, canonically, when he's driving the limo, he causes an explosion that had to kill at least four people. Be gone while he's driving her to the airport.

[Briston Maroney]

And that's how it should be.

[Caleb Heron]

And that was what comedy movies used to be.

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

And now.

[Briston Maroney]

No, no, none of that. I need. I need two hours of, like, complete, complete bullshit. I don't want anything to make sense. Like, some of my favorite comedy movies, like, do not. It feels like they take place in, like, 40 different locations over, like, a 45 minute period of time.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Briston Maroney]

Where like every joke just feels like they were, like, writing and then took, like six days off and then were like, hey, I thought of a funny thing.

[Caleb Heron]

Another place they could go. Yeah. Stupid thing.

[Briston Maroney]

They could say, that's the best, dude. Like, that's. Yeah. There's something so sacred about, like, that style of thing. Like, I'm so into that. Same with music. Like, I love records that are just like. You just feel like you're hanging out with somebody when you listen to it. Like. Yeah. There's so, so much inspiration in that.

[Caleb Heron]

For me, one of my favorite genres of music is the funny country song.

[Briston Maroney]

Oh, totally.

[Caleb Heron]

I'm talking about. I'm sure I've Talked about it 17 times on this podcast, but I do love that Brad Paisley song. That's like, I love her, but I love to fish.

[Briston Maroney]

Oh, yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

Are you kidding me?

[Briston Maroney]

I had the, like, guitar chord book for that album.

[Caleb Heron]

Let's go.

[Briston Maroney]

It's still, like, in my childhood.

[Caleb Heron]

Was that the album that had celebrity on it, too?

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah, I think so. It's like the red one with him, like, with the hat. Right. I mean, I could be totally wrong.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah, I think so.

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah, there's some absolute bangers on that one.

[Caleb Heron]

God damn, he was making. Country music has a uniquely. Like, They're. They're. Alex Edelman, a comedian that I'm friends with. He and I have talked a lot about this, like, specifically funny country songs. No one. No other type of music has really captured the funny song as well as country has undeniable. There's some funny rap songs, but, like, funny country is, like, really. They're really getting into it over there.

[Briston Maroney]

It, like, transcends. Like, everybody is into it.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Briston Maroney]

Like, and it's such a naturally goofy ass. Like, what the hell? I think it's really funny that that also is, like, attributed or, like, associated with some of the most, like, badass, like, artists of all time.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Briston Maroney]

Like, Johnny Cash. The shit. So cool. But, like, that shit goofy. Why it's cool, though? Like, I love it because it's, like, so weird. Like, he's such a weirdo. Like, it's amazing. Like, so just, like, uniquely himself.

[Caleb Heron]

Like a character.

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah, dude. Yeah. Cartoon.

[Caleb Heron]

Like, the way that people. The way that artists in general. I mean, I love an artist who takes on, like, a Persona. Yes. Why? I think drag queens are so cool, but Johnny Cash being, like, the man in black is, like. It's like, that's silly. Like, that's literally silly.

[Briston Maroney]

It makes me want to go like, oh, yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

It's like, okay, buddy, look at you.

[Briston Maroney]

Sure you are, and get out there and do your thing.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah, Go play that guitar. It's so silly to take on a Persona in, like, a fun way.

[Briston Maroney]

100%. Those are, like, my favorite people. Like, my. The people I look up to the most are just, like, primarily artists who, like, earnestly. I come back to Ernestine. Like, people who just, like, adopt the, like, most refined and intense version of themselves, and it, like, is so serious that it becomes, like, this reflection of how not serious everything is. Like, Johnny Cash being the man in black is like, the world is so gigantic. The, like, minutia of the insanity that is occurring on this planet is fucking crazy. But that dude is like, my world is me wearing my little black shirt, and I'm singing about the fucking railroad. Like, yeah, it's such a. Like, it's a very. That's just, like, What I love about music is, like, it's such a relief. Like, you can. You can go into that world for a little bit and, like. Yeah, it's just. There's a lot of. A lot of joy in that.

[Caleb Heron]

Do you think you would never, ever do another project, like, an Alter ego project.

[Briston Maroney]

That's kind of what this EP really is. It's like a very. It's not like a full out, like, character, but it's, like, very influenced by. I, like, grew up between Tennessee and Florida, and so it's very influenced by the, like, you know, the typical capital F. Florida, man.

[Caleb Heron]

You born in Jacksonville?

[Briston Maroney]

Close to Jacksonville. It's Amelia Island. It's like this tiny little island between. It's on the Florida Georgia line.

[Caleb Heron]

Hey, now.

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah. Speaking of, I didn't know you were.

[Caleb Heron]

Born on an island.

[Briston Maroney]

I was. I. My mom moved there in when I was in elementary school, so my, like, stepdad is from there. So he, like. It was a big, like, moving back home. There's like 10,000 people on this island. Like, it's. It's like the Goonies. Like, I would go there in the summer and, like, ride my little bike around and, like, smoke weed out of a Sprite can.

[Caleb Heron]

And you're looking weed at that age.

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah. No, that's not true.

[Caleb Heron]

I was like, damn, you were cool.

[Briston Maroney]

I was 13 the first time. Yeah, we. The first time I smoked weed was there. It was in. It was on the island. I knew these twins named the Snyders, Ben and Zach. Shout out, shout out.

[Caleb Heron]

Schneider twins.

[Briston Maroney]

They're the shit. I think I'm gonna see them. They're gonna come. We're playing in Orlando. I think I'm gonna see them soon. But they. They had an older brother who, like, bought us a bong, and they hid it in their closet behind this big stuffed animal of Sully from Monsters, Inc. So I have, like, a fantastic memory of just, like, hitting this bong and then, like, looking over and, like, seeing Sully, like, unblinkingly. It just, like.

[Caleb Heron]

I was gonna say nothing. Nothing. Like getting high in a closet with a giant monster.

[Briston Maroney]

Oh, undeniably. Yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

That's how you want to do it. That's so funny.

[Briston Maroney]

Undeniably. Yeah. And then, like, their parents were there or something, and I like, oh, my God. I, like, fell asleep in their bathroom. I, like, went to go and I, like, laid down on the floor. I can't believe that I didn't remember the story until now. I was laying on the floor, and then their mom came in and started shrieking because she was like, who the fuck is this kid? Cause I was like, from. I would, like, go in the summer, so I would just, like, show up. And I was like, the summer friend to everybody, and I was just, like, on their floor. And she's like, ben, what the hell? Like, I'M like in like a full like Fear and loathing Las Vegas. Like Hawaiian shirt. Nope. No pants. Like sprawled out on the ground with like a McDonald's hotcake in my hand. Like. Yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

Wow.

[Briston Maroney]

This is really fun to talk about.

[Caleb Heron]

Completely obsessed. I love that.

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

I hope, I hope that. I hope that I have kids someday and that they do insane weird shit like that. Like I do. They will come home to some madness.

[Briston Maroney]

Oh, absolutely.

[Caleb Heron]

I do want some. I do want to be. I want to be the straight man to their goofy little bullshit.

[Briston Maroney]

Absolutely.

[Caleb Heron]

That'd be a lot of fun.

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah. That's a very important dynamic.

[Caleb Heron]

I want that.

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah. That's like the greatest joy.

[Caleb Heron]

Because if they're not going to do it, I'm going to have to be goofy dad. And I don't want to be goofy dad.

[Briston Maroney]

You'd be good goofy dad.

[Caleb Heron]

I would, but it's like I'm goofy at work. I want to be buttoned up at home. I want to be Mr. Serious. I want to be like guys.

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[Briston Maroney]

Yeah, I do.

[Caleb Heron]

Hell yeah.

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah, I got a lot of little siblings on my dad's side. They're all like half siblings and so I just like grew up around babies and it's so much fun.

[Caleb Heron]

I love kids.

[Briston Maroney]

So, so much fun. Yeah, me too. I feel like there was a point this year where I, like, genuinely thought I wasn't gonna do music anymore and was, like, really asking what I wanted to do and, like, preschool teacher. That's, like, it.

[Caleb Heron]

I feel, like, so good at that.

[Briston Maroney]

I have so much peace, like, within me now knowing that, like, whatever happens with, like, my dreams, I can, like. I don't know. That's something that, like, would genuinely fulfill me so much, like, just being around kids.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah. The only downside if you stop doing music, though, is I'm gonna kill myself. Why would you stop doing music?

[Briston Maroney]

The stakes are high. I would never stop doing music. But, like.

[Caleb Heron]

Because I will say not to cut you off, but to tell you where the question is coming from, Obviously, I'm a fan. I would hate to hear that. But I do the same thing all the time where I tell myself, like, hey, we don't have to do this forever. I can go do something else.

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

What is inspiring you to even think.

[Briston Maroney]

About that this year, particularly? Just, like, a really hard tour. Like, we were on the road. It's just so easy. Like, I don't. I don't know if touring makes you feel this way, but it's just really easy to stop being able to see beyond, like, the day that you're in. When you're on the road for fucking two months, like, you're on show, like, 37, and your brain just, like, as a survival tactic is like, okay, this is your life now. It's really easy to just get so sucked into that bubble and, like, not be able to. I don't know. I just, like, have these, like, flashes of me being, like, 45 with, like, chronic back pain, like, trying to do what we're doing right now, and it, like, frees me the fuck out. But then I come home for two weeks, and, like, I'm like, oh, my God. I would give anything to go back out and watch again.

[Caleb Heron]

I've never loved a show until it was over. I've only loved a show that I did back in the. I've only ever loved a show that happened a while ago.

[Briston Maroney]

But you have fun when you're performing, right? Like, I have.

[Caleb Heron]

Here's. Here's my trajectory with shows. First of all, touring as a comedian is so much easier and better than what y'all are doing.

[Briston Maroney]

We did have the soundcheck conversation, I have to say.

[Caleb Heron]

The soundcheck, the fact that y'all show up to a venue seven Hours before that alone could make me jump off a building. Yeah, y'all are really at the venue. Your job is really so much harder. And you real. I will get to a venue. I've gotten to a venue when the show was supposed to start because I just walk up there. Or you really can come later. The opener's already up there. I mean, not me because I host, but like, your guys's touring is so much harder and then the amount of people you have to pay. When I went on tour with Annie, Annie Dusso and I did a, you know, that like seven city tour just for fun.

[Briston Maroney]

The coolest tour, which was so fun.

[Caleb Heron]

And cool and I'm really glad we did it. It was such an experiment and like, it really was so much fun to do like a co headlining tour, a band and a comedian. It was tough and interesting and weird, but it was great. But when Annie was like, yeah, a lot of musicians just like, merch is where they make the money. Ticket sales are kind of a wash. I was like, ticket sales are a wash. I'm hell no. I was like, what?

[Briston Maroney]

No. 100%.

[Caleb Heron]

I can't believe it.

[Briston Maroney]

You were like, yeah, you're always. I mean, it's fucking ridiculous. It's just designed to be.

[Caleb Heron]

It's crazy. And the 20% of the merch from the venues, throughout my comedy venues, don't do that.

[Briston Maroney]

Fuck that.

[Caleb Heron]

Don't touch our merch.

[Briston Maroney]

It is crazy to me. That is like, there's some really amazing interviews online with like, there's this one journalist. I like, have to find him and share that shit again. But he like specifically has that conversation with just like reps at venues and like a face to face interaction where he's just like, can you explain, like genuinely, like, can you justify why you guys are taking this percentage of merchandise that like, you have nothing to do with? Especially like at shows where the bar sales are great and ticket sales are great. Like seeing a person have to like verbally explain how that makes any sense. Like, not a single person can do it.

[Caleb Heron]

Keeping in mind all of these people know that we pay our managers 10%, our agents 10%, our lawyers, a percentage. Our publicist, our publicist, our publicist, a percentage. Our fucking business managers, a percentage. You're going to take 20% of our merchant. I have been saying for a long time, and I will stand 10 toes down against any venue in the country about this. Yeah, if you want to take 20% of merch, I get 20% of the bar sales. And if you don't want to do that. It's because you inherently know that that's crazy. And then you shouldn't be taking anything out of my merch.

[Briston Maroney]

100%.

[Caleb Heron]

It's fucking nuts.

[Briston Maroney]

100%.

[Caleb Heron]

That is so crazy. But my trajectory with shows is every show I have felt this way. I dread it every single second from the moment it gets announced until the moment it happens. I dread every show I've ever had to do. I don't want to do it. My body physically rejects the idea of it.

[Briston Maroney]

What is that? Are you dreading your experience or, like, what are you dreading?

[Caleb Heron]

I dread having to go. I can't believe I have to show up at that place. I can't believe. I can't believe I've given myself a place I have to be.

[Briston Maroney]

Right.

[Caleb Heron]

I would. I would dread. The thing about me is someone. I said this once on the podcast, and someone told me there's a term for it. Apparently I'm mentally ill. But it was like, no. Someone was like, oh, my therapist told me that this is called. Like. It's like. I don't know. Like, they. Anyway, they said I was fucked up. But I dread everything that's on my calendar. It doesn't. If I. If someone. If someone put on my calendar, three weeks from now, you have to go to a free blowjobs and money money convention where they're still. They're just gonna, like, blow you and give you a million dollars. But you have to come at 3pm, right? I would be. I would be like, I don't think I can make it right. Like, I can't go to that.

[Briston Maroney]

I would be sobbing the entire way.

[Caleb Heron]

I hate having an obligation, but I'm so great. And by the way, I'm grateful for it. I love it. I prepare for it. I take it very seriously. I have a very. A very, very serious sense of responsibility about what it means to get on stage in front of people.

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

I think if you disrespect that. I think if you don't prepare for your show, if you get on stage too drunk or high to put on a good show, I sincerely, really do not fucking like you. I think you're a. I think that's a bad. That's something a bad person would do.

[Briston Maroney]

Sure.

[Caleb Heron]

I don't know if there are bad people or not, but it's not a good. It's not nice, and it's not respectful or responsible.

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

I really respect my audiences genuinely and, like, appreciate that they gave up a night of their life to be in a Room with me.

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

And I love the time I'm on stage from the second I start talking on stage to the second it ends. I have an amazing time. Even if it's going badly.

[Briston Maroney]

Right.

[Caleb Heron]

I think there's a thrill involved in knowing that I can get it back. I just have to work at it. I love that part.

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

And then the second I'm off stage for at least a little while, I go, you fucking fool. You idiot. Why did you do that? Why did you put yourself out there like that? And then later on, maybe like a day or a week later, I go, you're the king of being up there. You're the best at doing that. You should do that all the time.

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

That was amazing what you did.

[Briston Maroney]

100%.

[Caleb Heron]

That's crazy.

[Briston Maroney]

Isn't. Okay, now do that. That is fucking insane. That that mental roller coaster is like your job. Like, that is so wild. What a wild, wild thing to do routinely. Like, that is crazy.

[Caleb Heron]

It's the hardest job in the world. No one has worse.

[Briston Maroney]

Uniquely difficult.

[Caleb Heron]

No one has it worse.

[Briston Maroney]

Agreed.

[Caleb Heron]

No one has it worse. Coal miners couldn't do what I do.

[Briston Maroney]

No. Let's see. Let's see a coal miner do a Type five.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah. Best of luck, buddy.

[Briston Maroney]

Knock them dead.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah. Try doing a callback 45 minutes into your hour, pal. I'll take whatever's going on with your lungs over my job any day. Sorry. Obviously, I. Obviously, we'll keep it in, but I don't. That's not.

[Briston Maroney]

Obviously that's not. What a crazy community to attack.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah. Coal miners. No, I, I really. To me, guys, to me. That's funny. Because my job is so silly.

[Briston Maroney]

Of course.

[Caleb Heron]

I really respect coal miners and I love what they're doing to the world. And I want those West Virginia electoral college votes when I run. So I love what y'all are doing to the environment, to the world. Yeah.

[Briston Maroney]

Oh, my God. Yeah. It is like, so, so, so I think the toughest part and like, maybe I romanticize it because I'm like, grass is always greener kind of thing. But, like, the music world is small and there are elements of it that feel really tight knit. But, like, just the isolation. Like, there are times where, like I was saying earlier that you get a tough call from a manager, get a tough call from the label or whatever. And I'm like, I don't even know who I can talk to about this. Like, even though I feel like the people I play music with, the people in our crew are like my family, it's like Such a specifically intense position when you're like fronting a project or like, you know, not to fucking. I don't know. I'm not saying that it's like it was what I'm saying making sense. I'm not trying to be, like, it's really hard, no one understands. But like, it's just tough to like, try to have conversations about a really specific personal experience with like folks who like, no matter how well intentioned they are, like, maybe have not experienced that thing. Like, and that goes to anyone in any position in the creative world. Like, you know what I mean?

[Caleb Heron]

There's also to me some shame because it's like, there's some shame if I'm having a bad day or I've gotten bad news or things aren't going my way. Specifically in the career sphere. I don't know who to talk to because my friends who are doing, who aren't having a bad time. My friends who are up, who are. I know they're only winning. They're on a, they're on a huge project right now. They're feeling great, they're making a lot of money. Whatever, whatever. I don't want to talk to them about it because I don't want to bother them. They're busy.

[Briston Maroney]

Exactly.

[Caleb Heron]

Number one. And number two, it's only going to embarrass me more. Anything they say is going to feel like, well, easy for you to say. You're fucking up right now. You're, you're on top, you're winning. So of course you have. Like, you're going to be like, oh, just stick in there. Fuck you, it's going well for you. And then if I talk to someone who is maybe like doing a little worse than I am right now, like, they don't have as much going on as I do or something like that. Like a buddy who I know is like, oh, they haven't gotten a gig in a while. Or they've recently told me that they were dealing with this out or the other. Well, that feels mean.

[Briston Maroney]

Sure.

[Caleb Heron]

It's like I'm gonna go and complain about my little thing to somebody who I'm like, you would kill to be having the annoying call that I just had or whatever.

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah, always.

[Caleb Heron]

It never feels like you're exactly in lockstep with the people that you would normally confide in.

[Briston Maroney]

Sure.

[Caleb Heron]

And so it just starts to feel a little lonely, like, oh, who do I even.

[Briston Maroney]

Especially with like so much of your communication with those people, like when you're just really busy, like it's through the Internet, like, catching up with people in person. Like, becomes, like, this rare, like, foreign experience. And, like, yeah, I really am trying, as I go forward to, like, just, like, go so old school. Like, I don't even think. I think I'm gonna, like, delete all my social media shit before this next tour and, like, try to just go full, like, Grateful Dead style. Like, I just want to be, like, on the bus with my friends, having fun, like, seeing my friends in cities that I don't get to see a lot. Like, just being present. Like, that's why, honestly, Lala was, like, so, so amazing for that reason. Like, I felt like these kids were just, like, so present. And honestly, I think it may have had to do with the heat. Like, people were just kind of like. Like, they couldn't even move to, like, fucking phones out of their pocket. But, like, they. I don't know.

[Caleb Heron]

They were having a heat stroke.

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah, they were present.

[Caleb Heron]

There's nothing going on behind their eyes. They're sweating. They're falling down.

[Briston Maroney]

Airlifted out of.

[Caleb Heron]

Dizzy. They're walking in circles. They're falling to their knees.

[Briston Maroney]

They're chanting, they're yelling.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah, their skin is warm to the touch, the red. I don't think they're offline, brother. I think they're really sick.

[Briston Maroney]

Those people are passing away on their back.

[Caleb Heron]

No one's turning them over.

[Briston Maroney]

They have every, every.

[Caleb Heron]

I will say, when you said just now, I think before the next two, I'm going to delete all my socials. I. I was like, I'm starting to understand the call from the manager. You know what I mean? I'm going, hey. Oh, I'm going, hey, I'm. Me and the manager might need to get on a call as well, because we. I don't know if we can have that. But I. But I totally. I totally feel the exact same way.

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah, it's so hard. Like, it's so, so tough. It's so confusing. It's really, really confusing.

[Caleb Heron]

It's also a really interesting balance between. I've talked to several friends about this, specifically with, like, things that feel like selling out, where it's like, I grew up with so little money and so many people in my family. If I like. I'm like, I don't want to. I don't want to post a TikTok talking about this shoe company for $50,000 or whatever. Yeah, that's. That's not cool. And I'm a cool guy. If I told my grandfather who, like, can't walk upright because he worked on the railroad his entire life. If I told him that, he would shoot me with a gun until I die. You know what I mean?

[Briston Maroney]

No, I know.

[Caleb Heron]

Like, he doesn't. He would not care about how cool I feel doing it. Yeah, he would be like, dude, shut the fuck up.

[Briston Maroney]

I said the same shit. Yeah. I just like did this like, private event a couple weeks ago and like, same vibe where I was just like, it doesn't really feel like it's aligning with my current brand. It's like my. My fucking uncle would punt me like a football. Yeah. And it's correct, like. And yeah, 100%, which I got. Yeah. There's a balance there. I think that, like, it is a weird conversation of like, sometimes you do have to preserve your sanity and like, not do the weird, like birthday party thing. But then sometimes it's like, well, I am like working. Like, this is like a thing I gotta, gotta work for. And like those opportunities, I'm trying now to like turn them into really good times to practice. The shit I was talking about earlier, like, go do the private event, but do it as if I was like, mentally, I don't know, just like 14 year old being again. Just like go have a blast and like fuck up and make a fool of myself and like learn from that shit. I did that private event and I forgot the words to one of the songs and I literally was like, I could already tell, like, people did not want me to be there kind of event.

[Caleb Heron]

Really.

[Briston Maroney]

It was like, not in like a negative way, but they were just like, who the fuck is this long haired hippie boy that's like preaching to us right now? But I forgot some of the words to the song and I, in front of all these people was like, you know what? I'm going to make sure that I never make this mistake again. So right now in front of you all, I'm going to take my phone out and I'm gonna google the lyrics to my own fucking song. Like crickets, dude. Like, not a single reaction to that. And I stood there and using Siri. I said Siri. Genius lyrics. Briston Maroney Small Talk. It's one of my older tunes.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Briston Maroney]

And I looked up the lyrics and I read them out loud and then I played the song.

[Caleb Heron]

You know what? I would have loved to see that.

[Briston Maroney]

I missed my trick. I sold my. Wow. Do you hear how I. I just.

[Caleb Heron]

I miss my truck. Yeah, I saw it come out full body. I was beautiful.

[Briston Maroney]

I really do miss. I had a truck in Nashville. Before, it was a tiny little gmc.

[Caleb Heron]

Exactly.

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah. Very small.

[Caleb Heron]

Exactly.

[Briston Maroney]

Really fucking cute.

[Caleb Heron]

And I want to thank you for that.

[Briston Maroney]

It was my pleasure. It had a cigarette lighter in it, of course. It was like, a 2000.

[Caleb Heron]

I wouldn't have it any other way.

[Briston Maroney]

Yep. How it should be.

[Caleb Heron]

I ask people on this podcast a lot. What do you want? And I. And I want to know that from you. What is. What is. Where's all this headed? What is all this? What do you want, Grammy?

[Briston Maroney]

That would be cool. I don't know. I mean, I wouldn't say no.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Briston Maroney]

Then invited me to come hang out. Would be cool if you did. I honestly. Oh, my God, this is gonna be so, like, good. Is he doing this? But, like, what we're doing right now is what I want. I just like the fact that we're hanging out and, like, I'm getting to have a conversation with someone that I admire and look up to and have for a long time, and, like, just to even get to be in the realm of all these other creative people that I just, like, really genuinely love. Like, that. That's all I could ask for. Like, the fact that I can pay my bills and, like, be present in my life and have the fucking luxury to, like, I don't know, talk about things and feel all the feelings that I want to feel. Like, that's. That's all I could ask for, dude. Like, I genuinely could not and do not want anything beyond that.

[Caleb Heron]

Like, I. Yeah, it is the best part.

[Briston Maroney]

It's awesome.

[Caleb Heron]

Just talked about this on Devin Walker's episode. I was like, you know, if the only thing that ever comes from all of this, really, and in the long run, is that I get to meet, like, a bunch of cool, creative people who are, like, in my opinion, like, the most brilliant artists alive right now. Like, my cohort of, like, the people I'm friends with. Like, everyone we've talked about, like, you and Annie and Samya and. And all the comics that I'm friends with and Devin, of course, included. If the only thing that happens from all this is I get to meet and be friends with a bunch of brilliant people that are trying to make art right. And succeeding. That's cool. That's good with me.

[Briston Maroney]

I would like that 100%.

[Caleb Heron]

That's a pretty nice thing.

[Briston Maroney]

It just feels like.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Briston Maroney]

I mean, it's like you said earlier, like, talking about spending money to move and shit. Like, you can't. I don't know, like, this stuff, our lives are just, like, a blink of an eye. Like, we are truly, like, here and then we're gone. And it's like, at the end of the day, I'm obsessed with this, like, article that's, like, become. It's very, like, Facebook. But, like, just like, some dude was interviewed on his deathbed. He was like, 98 or something, and people just, like, were asking him what he wished he had done differently. And he just straight up was like, I wish I'd eaten more ice cream, man. And, you know. You know, that's getting a lot of, like, thumbs up on Facebook, that kind of vibe. But I genuinely, like, I love that shit. Like, it's just like. Yeah, like, it's. There will be a moment where all of the pressure and all of the constructs that we have, like, placed on ourselves as creative people completely fucking vanish. And that day is inevitable for every person who does this thing. And, like, I just want to. When that day comes for me, I want to, like, be able to look back and smile about the fucking great times I had with my friends. Like, truly, that is what I care about.

[Caleb Heron]

My favorite is the. You know, people are so obsessed with living longer and extending life, even if it's a not quality life.

[Briston Maroney]

Not me.

[Caleb Heron]

People are obsessed with extending life. They want to live as long as they can. And they. So they always like to find a really old person and ask them, like, what's the secret? And my favorite is every fucking time, without fail, if you ask someone who's like, 106, what's the secret? They will give an answer that is so disgusting.

[Briston Maroney]

Oh, my God.

[Caleb Heron]

They will be like, every hour on the hour, Since I was 11 years old, I have eaten a cigarette, and.

[Briston Maroney]

It'S so fucking true.

[Caleb Heron]

And I only drink Mountain Dew.

[Briston Maroney]

It's true.

[Caleb Heron]

And I have never taken a shit. And they were. And they. And the literally people will be like, wow, really? That's the secret? And they're like, yeah, that's what I've done.

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah. Are we done yet?

[Caleb Heron]

It's never something profound.

[Briston Maroney]

No.

[Caleb Heron]

It's never like, I ran a mile every. Never, Never.

[Briston Maroney]

I did some heinous shit.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah. I lived a truly fucked up life. I didn't want to make it this far. Every day I pray God will take me.

[Briston Maroney]

He just won't.

[Caleb Heron]

I wasn't some, like, sociopath yuppie who only drank spinach drinks every morning.

[Briston Maroney]

No, dude, no.

[Caleb Heron]

Those people. Those people flame out from skin cancer at 63.

[Briston Maroney]

It's so real.

[Caleb Heron]

Only a psycho living in the Appalachian mountains who, like, truly eats a steak for every meal can make it to 102 and God love them.

[Briston Maroney]

They really.

[Caleb Heron]

They do. I don't know what to tell you guys.

[Briston Maroney]

I'm sweating. Sweat is pouring down.

[Caleb Heron]

The people who are obsessed with living, they never do.

[Briston Maroney]

It's true. It's so real.

[Caleb Heron]

I think I'm a live to be 200.

[Briston Maroney]

Fuck yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

That's my prediction.

[Briston Maroney]

A boy can watch me die.

[Caleb Heron]

Next week we put out this episode and I immediately die. No, that'd be horrible. We would all hate that. Say in the comments. We would all hate that.

[Briston Maroney]

We would all hate that.

[Caleb Heron]

Everybody in the comments say that we would hate if I died young. That's every episode I start. I start asking people, would y'all just please, in the comments say that you would hate if I died young.

[Briston Maroney]

I feel, I feel like tired like that. Just like.

[Caleb Heron]

You know what's funny? It is. It gets. I get so sweaty in here. But the AC is on. I always say this. Every episode. I'm dripping in sweat.

[Briston Maroney]

It's a good sweat.

[Caleb Heron]

It's a good sweat.

[Briston Maroney]

It's a really, really, like.

[Caleb Heron]

It's cuz I'm hard at work.

[Briston Maroney]

Fucking awesome sweat. Yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

I'm the hardest working man in America right now.

[Briston Maroney]

Damn right.

[Caleb Heron]

Damn right. Me and you.

[Briston Maroney]

Damn right.

[Caleb Heron]

Two hard working guys clocked into the Factory.

[Briston Maroney]

That's what I'm saying.

[Caleb Heron]

The Laugh Factory. Well, that's a real. Yeah, that's a real place.

[Briston Maroney]

Oh, shit.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah. This isn't the Laugh Factory. There's not a 30 year old guy with a 17 year old girlfriend in here.

[Briston Maroney]

Sure. Tag him. Tag him.

[Caleb Heron]

Hey, get them, get them, tag them. Would take not enough room in the comments to tag them. That's what I'm saying, you know? Well, I ask everyone on the show, what is so true to you, Bristol? What's so true to you?

[Briston Maroney]

What is so true to me? I feel like I've said so true. Like not even knowing that. I've said that so many times on this episode and I really.

[Caleb Heron]

It's kind of catching on.

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah. I will say a fucking great phrase. Did you. Was it easy for you to name this podcast? Were you like, I know exactly what I want to call it?

[Caleb Heron]

No. I knew that. I kind of wanted it to be a gay little phrase.

[Briston Maroney]

Cool.

[Caleb Heron]

Like I did. Like, I actually have somewhere. I wonder if I can find it. I actually have somewhere. Like a list of titles that I was thinking of for the podcast and that would be kind of fun.

[Briston Maroney]

That would be fun.

[Caleb Heron]

I'll try to find it later. We'll probably do it on The Patreon. Check out the Patreon if you want to hear that list of names. But no, I was like, I want it to be a gay little phrase of some sort. Like, I want it to be something that would just kind of roll off the tongue.

[Briston Maroney]

It's so good. It's, like, such a great name.

[Caleb Heron]

Thank you. I didn't want it to be like the Caleb Heron show.

[Briston Maroney]

Sure.

[Caleb Heron]

That felt a little too, like. Sure, yeah.

[Briston Maroney]

Now I feel you. What is so true to me? It's crazy how much my internal voice is going, say good vibes. There's, like, a man in my head who is, like, on fire screaming that. Say good vibes, bro.

[Caleb Heron]

Say goodbyes.

[Briston Maroney]

It's what you fucking. You love good vibes.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Briston Maroney]

What is so true to me? I'm gonna try to find a better way to say good vibes.

[Caleb Heron]

What does good vibes mean to you? Good vibes are so true, but in.

[Briston Maroney]

One way, no, I do not like this. This hole that I've dug. What is true to me? What's so true to me? How. Having a good day. I don't fucking know. No. I believe in nothing.

[Caleb Heron]

I guess the truth of the matter is the listeners don't know you.

[Briston Maroney]

That's true.

[Caleb Heron]

Like, personally, probably a lot of them. No, but good vibes and having a good day is so true to you. That's extremely brist encoded.

[Briston Maroney]

Unfortunately, I. I've probably said stuff that's more like. Hopefully more profound than that within this episode, so I'm gonna leave that there if you want to check that out. But my answer to this will be having a good day and good vibes. Yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

What's your favorite day? What's a good day to you?

[Briston Maroney]

Mmm. I'm a classic Saturday boy.

[Caleb Heron]

You're a Saturday boy.

[Briston Maroney]

I fucking love Saturday. Yeah. Because you're. You're fresh off a Friday where you had some fun. Sunday is like the Sabbath.

[Caleb Heron]

Well, Sundays for worshiping our Lord. If you go really Christian.

[Briston Maroney]

Sunday. Well, we all know what we do on Sunday.

[Caleb Heron]

Well, Sunday, we worship the Lord.

[Briston Maroney]

Sunday, we work. Yeah. Yeah. I like Saturday a lot. I feel like in the past five minutes, my brain just shut off. I just got really stoked. Like, when you were saying all this stuff about people living a long time, it just made me laugh so much, and then I kind of forgot that I was, like, on a podcast. I was just watching you, and then now I.

[Caleb Heron]

Well, you got blissed out on the idea that you and I might live forever.

[Briston Maroney]

Yes, I do.

[Caleb Heron]

The magic we created here today might Even live longer than us.

[Briston Maroney]

I like that concept a lot.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah, you got blissed out on that.

[Briston Maroney]

Yes. The yes.

[Caleb Heron]

That can be really blissful indeed. I like podcasts. Will live long after me.

[Briston Maroney]

Isn't that wild?

[Caleb Heron]

My podcasts, for better or for worse. Could you guess?

[Briston Maroney]

Gonna outlive me maybe the next cuz remember they sent the, like, gold record to space or whatever.

[Caleb Heron]

Boy, do I ever. Have you talked about a whole podcast about.

[Briston Maroney]

Are you fucking kidding me?

[Caleb Heron]

I did.

[Briston Maroney]

Wait, what?

[Caleb Heron]

Keeping Records. It was back in the day, but it. Shelby Wolstein and I had a podcast called Keeping Records where we only talked about the golden records that NASA sent into space.

[Briston Maroney]

Are you kidding me?

[Caleb Heron]

No.

[Briston Maroney]

Oh, my God. That's crazy. I can't believe I have not ever talked about that. That's crazy.

[Caleb Heron]

I read books about it. I became obsessed with the golden records for a while.

[Briston Maroney]

Wow. Is that something you would, like, want to do? Like, would you want to, like, have a record with one of your episodes on it? Blast it off into.

[Caleb Heron]

I wouldn't do that to the aliens. I wouldn't send them a gay podcast. I probably wouldn't allow a gay guy to talk on there.

[Briston Maroney]

Sure.

[Caleb Heron]

I would. I would allow a gay guy to paint or sing or something. I would never allow a gay guy to speak to the aliens.

[Briston Maroney]

No, no, no.

[Caleb Heron]

Unless they think that everyone down here is like that.

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah. We don't want them to get to.

[Caleb Heron]

We don't want the wrong idea, get the wrong idea.

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

I would probably be the only gay guy I trust to talk to the aliens.

[Briston Maroney]

Sure.

[Caleb Heron]

And actually, maybe the only human in general. I do think me and the aliens, if we could get in a room together, I think we could figure some stuff out quickly.

[Briston Maroney]

Sure.

[Caleb Heron]

I do trust my ability to interface with them 100%. I think they would like me. I think they would see me as real. I think the aliens would understand that I am a man of the people.

[Briston Maroney]

I love that in your alien world, they, like, they value, like, real respects real. They, like, they have.

[Caleb Heron]

They value realness.

[Briston Maroney]

They have, like, the most complex technology, like, in all of history, but they're like, we just fuck with a dude who's like, himself.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like, no, this dude's, like, fucking down to earth.

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah. That dude's chill as hell.

[Caleb Heron]

He's cool as fuck. He literally. He has, like, humble Midwestern roots.

[Briston Maroney]

He's cool. He has really good music tastes.

[Caleb Heron]

I legitimately think if I was in a room with the aliens and they were like, we want to Destroy humanity. I'd be like, they're not even fucking worth it, dog. Like, focus on you. Like, you don't want to get your own stuff together. Like, focus on what y'all have going on. Yeah, we can hang out, but, like, don't even. Like, destroying them would, like, literally make you. It would bring you down to their level.

[Briston Maroney]

You're better than that.

[Caleb Heron]

About humans. Yeah.

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah. 100%.

[Caleb Heron]

And I'd be like, take me with y'all.

[Briston Maroney]

I hope that that conversation gets to go down. I really hope that there's a day where that conversation is had and straight up.

[Caleb Heron]

You know how most people who get abducted by aliens come back and, like, tell everyone about it and route out the aliens?

[Briston Maroney]

Sure.

[Caleb Heron]

Nah, I wouldn't tell anybody.

[Briston Maroney]

You are not a snitch.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah. If they were like, what happened up there? I'd be like, there was no up there. I never saw an alien. And then I'd, like, look at the sky and wink. And the aliens would be, like, smiling at me. And they'd be like, he kept his word.

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah, dude. They just go, yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

Fuck. I'm gonna start crying.

[Briston Maroney]

That's okay.

[Caleb Heron]

I really want the aliens to love and respect me.

[Briston Maroney]

They will.

[Caleb Heron]

I don't believe in them.

[Briston Maroney]

It's a matter of time.

[Caleb Heron]

I hope they're real.

[Briston Maroney]

I 100% am so into it.

[Caleb Heron]

You think they're out there?

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah. I'm like, we don't have to do. I don't have to talk about that. But no.

[Caleb Heron]

Expose. Expose.

[Briston Maroney]

I do like it. I'm like, it's just so fun to me, dude. That's such a fun option. Like, of all the ways that, like, we will inevitably crumble. Like, I really dig the concept of, like, there being an intergalactic battle kind of situation.

[Caleb Heron]

I do think we would lose so bad.

[Briston Maroney]

Oh, it wouldn't last long because we're.

[Caleb Heron]

Not good at being. Coming together.

[Briston Maroney]

No, we're not. And, yeah, that's our. One of our greatest weaknesses.

[Caleb Heron]

Do you know that song Earth is Ghetto?

[Briston Maroney]

No.

[Caleb Heron]

It was, like, a bit. Wasn't that a big tick tock song? Don't know that one. She's. It's like a young girl, and she's like, earth is ghetto. I want to leave. And she's like. She's, like, asking the aliens to come and pick her up. Okay, we have to. We have to listen to it later. Yeah, but it's really. It's actually. We get. Well, no, you're. We're gonna have to cut it anyway because of the. We have to make money on this show. We can't just put in music wherever we want. Aliyah Sheffield. Earth is Ghetto. I love that song. Aliyah, if you're watching, I love your song.

[Briston Maroney]

I'll listen on the way home.

[Caleb Heron]

I'm gonna play it in this room the second this episode ends. I asked you what's so true to you, and now I have a segment for you.

[Briston Maroney]

Oh, fantastic.

[Caleb Heron]

I'm going to read you 15 statements, okay? And you're going to tell me as quickly as you can if you think they're true or false. If you get 10 or more correct, Briston, I'm going to give you 50 US dollars.

[Briston Maroney]

Like cash. Cold hard.

[Caleb Heron]

Yes, cold hard cash. Nutella was invented during World War II.

[Briston Maroney]

True.

[Caleb Heron]

True. Winston Churchill's mother was born in Ireland.

[Briston Maroney]

False.

[Caleb Heron]

False. The United States Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas voice. Charlie Brown's sister Sally.

[Briston Maroney]

False.

[Caleb Heron]

True. Mike Vrabel is the current head coach of the Tennessee Titans. Titans.

[Briston Maroney]

False.

[Caleb Heron]

False. It's Brian Callahan. The Arctic Ocean is the smallest ocean in the world.

[Briston Maroney]

I saw him at a cava one time. Side note, can you say that one again?

[Caleb Heron]

Mike Rabel.

[Briston Maroney]

Yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

The Arctic Ocean is the smallest ocean in the world.

[Briston Maroney]

True.

[Caleb Heron]

True. ATM stands for Automated Teller Machine.

[Briston Maroney]

What was the first you said automated? True.

[Caleb Heron]

True. Orca whales can speak fluent english.

[Briston Maroney]

False.

[Caleb Heron]

False. Mr. Potato Head's real name is Long Shanks von Tuber.

[Briston Maroney]

As much as I hope that was true, I'm gonna say false.

[Caleb Heron]

It's false. Captain Crunch's real name is Horatio Magellan Crunch.

[Briston Maroney]

False.

[Caleb Heron]

That's true. Guitars were invented in 15th century Spain.

[Briston Maroney]

False.

[Caleb Heron]

True.

[Briston Maroney]

What?

[Caleb Heron]

Johnny Cash was 6 foot 2?

[Briston Maroney]

No.

[Caleb Heron]

True. Salt Lake City has never hosted the Winter Olympics.

[Briston Maroney]

True.

[Caleb Heron]

False. They did in 2002. Lipscomb University's mascot is Lou the Bison.

[Briston Maroney]

I went there for one year and then I left there. Sorry. True.

[Caleb Heron]

True. Uber and Lyft were founded by two feuding brothers.

[Briston Maroney]

That's really cute. And hopefully. True.

[Caleb Heron]

False.

[Briston Maroney]

Fuck.

[Caleb Heron]

Twister was the first movie released on DVD in the United States.

[Briston Maroney]

False.

[Caleb Heron]

True.

[Briston Maroney]

I thought that, like, being confident would change. I was trying to sway you into lying.

[Caleb Heron]

People take. People take the confidence approach. And people also will take the, like, litigating, the math out loud approach where they'll be like, well, Chevy is a car company. And then, of course, trees exist in the woods. True. Yeah, there's a bunch of different approaches to that. You went on a pretty good run there, though.

[Briston Maroney]

Thank you. Yeah, I love that kind of shit. I like. I kind of love being wrong in those games, it makes me feel like there's, like, hope to, like, learn more. I love Trip. I'm super bad at it. I'm super bad at a lot of things, but I like being bad at them because it's like, well, maybe tomorrow I'll be better at it. Give me something to do.

[Caleb Heron]

Briston, there's this dreamy quality about you that's very lovable. And it's having a good day and good vibes being so true and doing really bad at trivia and walking away.

[Briston Maroney]

I'm just happy to be here.

[Caleb Heron]

Walking away, positive that you have more to learn. This is what makes people fall in love with you.

[Briston Maroney]

Thank you. Thank you. I'm trying to just be honest.

[Caleb Heron]

I'm so, so glad that you came on the podcast.

[Briston Maroney]

Thank you. This is, like, truly one of the best days I've had in a long time.

[Caleb Heron]

I literally love you so much.

[Briston Maroney]

I love you, too.

[Caleb Heron]

Thank you for being on.

[Briston Maroney]

Thanks for having me.

[Caleb Heron]

And I can't wait for your ep. I'm a huge fan of your music.

[Briston Maroney]

I'll send it to you.

[Caleb Heron]

Please do. And anyone who, if you haven't listened to Bristol's music, which I would find surprising, go and listen to it. You can find Brisson on the Internet for a little bit longer and then maybe never.

[Briston Maroney]

Until my fall tour.

[Caleb Heron]

Until the fall tour. Thank you so much.

[Briston Maroney]

Thank you for having me.