Josh Gondelman Loves Eavesdropping

Summary

Podcast Episode Summary: "Josh Gondelman Loves Eavesdropping"

So True with Caleb Hearon
Host: Caleb Hearon
Guest: Josh Gondelman
Release Date: March 27, 2025

---

Introduction

In this engaging episode of So True with Caleb Hearon, comedian Josh Gondelman delves deep into the art of eavesdropping, blending humor with insightful commentary on various facets of modern life. The conversation navigates through topics ranging from the dynamics of entourages, the impact of artificial intelligence in entertainment, the nuances of modern Judaism, to the intricacies of the WGA strike. Josh's candid anecdotes and sharp wit make for a compelling listen, offering both laughs and thoughtful reflections.

---

1. The Entourage Philosophy

Josh opens the discussion by sharing his unique perspective on entourages, expressing a desire to have all his friends and loved ones accompany him wherever he goes. This includes not just long-term moves but even short vacations.

• Josh Gondelman: "I want all my people with me." [01:52]

He humorously emphasizes his commitment to inclusivity, stating that he has started implementing this philosophy by inviting his close circle to join him on tours.

• Josh Gondelman: "And as soon as I can afford to just do that, I'll do that." [02:03]

---

2. Eavesdropping as a Comedic Muse

Central to the episode is the theme of eavesdropping. Josh discusses how overhearing conversations transforms into rich material for his comedy routines. He finds humor in everyday interactions, witnessing the quirks and conflicts of those around him.

• Josh Gondelman: "Eavesdropping is my Olympic sport." [52:00]

The guest echoes this sentiment, highlighting the universal nature of eavesdropping bits that resonate with a broader audience.

• Unknown Guest: "Bits are for everybody." [19:50]

---

3. Artificial Intelligence and De-aging in Film

A significant portion of the conversation tackles the intersection of AI and creativity in the entertainment industry. Josh critiques the overreliance on CGI and AI for de-aging actors, arguing that it diminishes the authenticity of performances.

• Josh Gondelman: "If you're gonna do something weird and get away with it, I think go nuts." [07:08]

The guest shares his disdain for AI's role in filmmaking, advocating for traditional methods and genuine performances without technological interference.

• Unknown Guest: "I personally think any film that uses AI for any piece of the process should be disqualified from awards." [07:30]

---

4. Exploring Modern Judaism and Diversity

The dialogue shifts to a more personal note as Josh and his guest discuss the diverse practices within Judaism. They explore the spectrum from Modern Orthodox to progressive movements, emphasizing the faith's adaptability and inclusivity.

• Unknown Guest: "It's such a beautiful thing about Judaism is, like, the expansiveness of the faith..." [12:00]

Josh reflects on his own experiences, sharing how his educational background exposed him to various Jewish traditions and practices.

• Josh Gondelman: "I learned about the different flavors of Judaism in college." [12:22]

---

5. The Writers Guild of America (WGA) Strike

Josh and his guest delve into the recent WGA strike, evaluating its outcomes and the solidarity displayed by the writers. They express pride in the writers' ability to stand together and negotiate effectively for better contracts.

• Unknown Guest: "I think we did a good job. It was really, like, a really hard time, but the solidarity of the membership was really beautiful and inspiring." [21:35]

Josh shares his personal support for the strike, detailing how it affected his tour and professional engagements.

• Josh Gondelman: "I was on tour during the picket line, so I didn't get to be physically there a lot." [22:14]

---

6. Travel Tales and Destination Dreams

The conversation takes a lighter turn as Josh and his guest exchange stories about their favorite travel destinations and the challenges of touring life. They discuss the allure of places like Minneapolis, New Orleans, and Iowa City, balancing the excitement of exploration with the exhausting nature of constant travel.

• Josh Gondelman: "When I lived in Missouri and I was broke, I would go to New York anytime I got the chance." [32:05]

• Unknown Guest: "I love Minneapolis. I'm always a fan there." [35:49]

They also express mutual enthusiasm for exploring national parks and the unique cultural experiences each destination offers.

---

7. Political Humor and Social Commentary

Josh and his guest engage in sharp political humor, critiquing current governmental policies and societal issues with their characteristic wit. They envision absurd scenarios, such as decentralized power structures and unconventional political campaigns, highlighting the often ludicrous nature of political discourse.

• Josh Gondelman: "What are we going to do, do you think? Me and you." [61:37]

• Unknown Guest: "They're trying to pitch that, like, why are we the world's peacekeepers?" [44:47]

Their satirical take underscores the complexities and frustrations inherent in modern politics.

---

8. Anecdotes of Everyday Eavesdropping

Towards the end of the episode, Josh shares amusing and often shocking snippets of conversations he's overheard, illustrating how eavesdropping can reveal genuine human emotions and interactions that are ripe for comedic exploration.

• Josh Gondelman: "I need a one on one with him, her, the ugly mom, the baby." [52:05]

• Unknown Guest: "I love a little bit that's just out in the wild." [53:03]

These stories highlight the unexpected and sometimes poignant moments that underpin Josh's comedic material.

---

Conclusion

The episode wraps up with a playful quiz segment where Josh tests his guest's knowledge with true or false statements, further cementing their camaraderie and showcasing their shared sense of humor. They reflect on the duality of creating art and navigating the entertainment industry's challenges, leaving listeners with a blend of laughter and contemplation.

• Josh Gondelman: "Do you have any interest? Why? Why don't you go?" [30:00]

---

Notable Quotes

• Josh Gondelman: "If you're gonna do something weird and get away with it, I think go nuts." [07:08]
• Unknown Guest: "Bits are for everybody." [19:50]
• Josh Gondelman: "Eavesdropping is my Olympic sport." [52:00]
• Unknown Guest: "I think we did a good job. It was really, like, a really hard time, but the solidarity of the membership was really beautiful and inspiring." [21:35]
• Josh Gondelman: "I want all my people with me." [01:52]

---

This episode of So True with Caleb Hearon offers a rich tapestry of humor, personal insights, and thoughtful discussions, anchored by Josh Gondelman's infectious enthusiasm and sharp comedic instincts. Whether you're tuning in for the laughs or the deeper conversations, "Josh Gondelman Loves Eavesdropping" promises a memorable and entertaining listen.

Transcript

[Josh Gondelman]

This is a headgum podcast.

[Unknown Guest]

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[Josh Gondelman]

If you're interested in learning how to.

[Unknown Guest]

Master your emotions and hearing scientifically backed advice for using your emotions as a tool, may I suggest Shift by psychologist and bestseller author Dr. Ethan Cross. Trust me, listening on Audible can help you reach the goals you set for yourself. Start listening today when you sign up for a free 30 day trial at audible.com wondery that's audible.com wondery Were there people doing that in the 1700s? It's just someone scrawled an image of George Washington with huge boobs spanking King George iii. And people are like, verily, how come this never makes it to the printing press? I always say when people leave New York or move to New York, I'm always like, nobody should leave. Everyone should come here. But that's not because of New York supremacy. That's just I like all the people. I like to be where I am.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

It's not. Yeah. It's nothing like, oh, why would you leave New York? It's like, there's a million reasons that make themselves evident every day.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Leaving New York makes only sense.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

But you should. People should be wherever I'm at. Yes. Has always been my theory.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. Like, if I had to go to Philadelphia for six months or something, I'd be like, everyone should probably move to Philly.

[Josh Gondelman]

By the way, this includes vacation.

[Unknown Guest]

Yes.

[Josh Gondelman]

If I'm in Paris for two weeks, it's like those two weeks you need to be in Paris.

[Unknown Guest]

Like, that's right.

[Josh Gondelman]

Everyone needs to be where I'm at.

[Unknown Guest]

Get your Google calendars lined up.

[Josh Gondelman]

I don't know what's not clicking about that.

[Unknown Guest]

Thank you.

[Josh Gondelman]

But I've been pretty clear.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

I want all my people with me.

[Unknown Guest]

That's right.

[Josh Gondelman]

And as soon as I can afford to just do that, I'll do that.

[Unknown Guest]

Yep.

[Josh Gondelman]

I'm like, I kind of started. Have started doing that. I mean, that's tour. Chance in Virginia are with me on every tour stop. And I'm like, please, I will pay. Come. Yeah, please come.

[Unknown Guest]

How big? And I'm sorry to just do. Because silly. Before the show starts, even. But like, how big is your ideal entourage?

[Josh Gondelman]

My ideal Entourage? I would say 50 to 75.

[Unknown Guest]

So you're rolling MC Hammerdeep?

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, I'm saying 50 to 75. I'm saying. I'm saying old friends, new friends, couple strangers that we pick up each night.

[Unknown Guest]

Guys with, like, nebulous jobs. You need that next single quick, or else that's going to dwindle.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I need another hit podcast yesterday. This one's not going to cover the 75 flights.

[Unknown Guest]

Has anyone I know been murdered recently?

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. Can we do it? True crime situation. Can we exploit the families of people who've had someone die? Yeah, I'd like. I'd like to get in on that big time.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah, that's. That's where the money's at.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. If you're exploiting people's deaths, you're making money.

[Unknown Guest]

That's right.

[Josh Gondelman]

That's the facts.

[Unknown Guest]

Normally when people die, I'm just, like, bummed out.

[Josh Gondelman]

Well, unless they're ugly. I've been saying this. When an ugly person dies, it's a little like, oh, it's okay. You know, it's like, oh, God bless them. You know, I've been saying a hot person dying is so sad because you just think, like, why? Whoa.

[Unknown Guest]

It's so sad.

[Josh Gondelman]

You remember when Paul Walker died? They put the flags at half mast. He was so gorgeous. No one knew what to do with themselves.

[Unknown Guest]

That's why it's good when you die old. Not because you've lived a full life, but because you're less hot than you used to.

[Josh Gondelman]

You're unattractive.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. You live past your prime.

[Josh Gondelman]

You've been stripped of all desirability. So now we can float you off. Get out of here into the ether. Go on. Cause then you're beautiful.

[Unknown Guest]

Right? Right, Right, right, right. It's like you're beautiful in a way that like. Like, nature is beautiful.

[Josh Gondelman]

I was literally about to say like a wise old tree. Like a redwood.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. Like you look in a canyon. You're like, God, a river did that for 100,000 years.

[Josh Gondelman]

Oh, I just love that that exists. And if it doesn't, soon, that's okay. We had it while we had it.

[Unknown Guest]

I'm so glad I got to see it.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. Oh, my God. To get to know it during my life.

[Unknown Guest]

Pretty incredible.

[Josh Gondelman]

Do you have any artists like that right now that you're like, I cannot believe I get to be alive at the same time as them.

[Unknown Guest]

You know, There are so many. One of the things I've really been thinking about is, like, how there's so much beautiful, incredible art Being made right now and so much horrible art.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

But, like, truly. And I'm not, like, I wouldn't consider myself a Beyonce, Stan. But it, like, I just can't imagine how we're gonna explain it to, like, our kids, like, people.

[Josh Gondelman]

She's our Michael Jackson.

[Unknown Guest]

Yes.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. She's so famous that you are gonna. We are gonna have trouble telling people what we lived through.

[Unknown Guest]

Right. Like, her music is going to be on the radio forever. And it will sound like when we grew up and it was like the Beatles. And you're just like, oh, this isn't even. These aren't even songs. This is just what life sounds like because it's so ingrained. Do you know what I mean?

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

Like, that was just what that time felt like. Like, that was a day.

[Unknown Guest]

It felt right. It was like. Like the soundtrack to Forrest Gump where you're like, I guess that was what the 60s sounded like. Clearwater Revival.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, that's it. That's exactly what I was thinking of.

[Unknown Guest]

Some folks. A bone.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. Or the. The songs. When he's just running through the country, I'm like, that's what running through the country feels like. Yes. That's from the movie.

[Unknown Guest]

Right?

[Josh Gondelman]

They made that based on emotions. Right.

[Unknown Guest]

That's not even a song. It's just like. Like when a breeze goes through trees and it. And it sounds like. Yeah, that's. That's what running through a field sounds like.

[Josh Gondelman]

The craziest part for Scump is one of my favorite movies. And. And the craziest part of it, to me, I mean, there's so much to choose from. But when he. He's running and he starts giving people ideas. Yeah. That's so funny. Hey, man, do you have any ideas for a bumper sticker? And he's like, it happens. And the guy's like, shit. And he's like, sometimes. And it's like, shit happens. Bumper sticker. I'm like, what did we need that.

[Unknown Guest]

Did you know there was. There was a Forrest Gump 2 book that they almost made into a movie? And apparently this. This might be apocryphal. Cause the story is, like, too spectacular. But they're meeting. Well, they're meeting about, like, Zemeckis. And I forget whoever else it was, but they met to talk about, like, all right, it's a go. First one was such a big hit, we gotta do the second one. And it was like, September 10, 2001.

[Josh Gondelman]

Stop it.

[Unknown Guest]

And then the next day, they were like, I mean, this shit doesn't matter, right? We can't be making that.

[Josh Gondelman]

Hey, y'all, Nevermind.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah, it's over.

[Josh Gondelman]

Hey, just forget it, I guess.

[Unknown Guest]

Dump it down.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. God, that's so funny.

[Unknown Guest]

Forget I said anything.

[Josh Gondelman]

You know what? He wasn't in the towers, actually.

[Unknown Guest]

They were like, should we write him in?

[Josh Gondelman]

It's like. No, no, no, no.

[Unknown Guest]

The opposite.

[Josh Gondelman]

Just let it go.

[Unknown Guest]

He was. The only detail that I remember about the second one was that he was crouched in the back of the white Bronco during the OJ chase.

[Josh Gondelman]

No, no, stop. That is unfortunately hilarious and needs to be made immediately.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. I think it would be really funny if they made it now with present day Tom Hanks.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

And not de aged with CGI or AI. No, just makeup.

[Josh Gondelman]

Present day. Whatever. We can do with some blush.

[Unknown Guest]

Full face. Yeah, Full beat.

[Josh Gondelman]

That is so fucking funny. What was that Deaged? Was it him and Robin Wright. Yes. That were in a de aged movie together.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. Called Here. I think also Zemeckis.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

And it was just like one angle in a house and they were de aged.

[Josh Gondelman]

You know what? I love it. I don't care.

[Unknown Guest]

You're all in.

[Josh Gondelman]

I don't care. I fucking love it. If you're gonna do something weird and get away with it, I think go nuts.

[Unknown Guest]

I do think go nuts.

[Josh Gondelman]

The one angle of it all, the de aging. I'm like, oh, oh, yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

I'm so all in on the one angle. The de aging. I'm like, come on.

[Josh Gondelman]

I know.

[Unknown Guest]

It used to be they would. They would get different actors. They would do make or they'd just be like, fucking imagine.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. Well, I think personally for me, any film that uses AI for any piece of the process should be disqualified from awards.

[Unknown Guest]

I really hate that shit. And I know I'm such a. I'm like beyond reason being a hater with AI too.

[Josh Gondelman]

Oh, I'm past logic. You can't get me out of this.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah, same. They'll be like, someone will be like, but it could be useful for medical technology and like, probably would just kill people.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, it. I'd rather die.

[Unknown Guest]

I would rather die.

[Josh Gondelman]

I don't. I also don't like that they're like AI air. They're like, oh, we're only.

[Unknown Guest]

I don't even spell air with an AI.

[Josh Gondelman]

I won't do it.

[Unknown Guest]

I just call it Oxygen Plus.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. It's R for me. R. Dude, I can't. They're also like, we're only going to use AI to like fix up. You know, we're just going to fix up the accent. Work a little bit. I'm like, oh, you mean acting.

[Unknown Guest]

That's what acting is. That's the whole thing.

[Josh Gondelman]

You're not doing the accent well. You didn't act well.

[Unknown Guest]

Austin Butler hears that and just like, loads a gun, like, you'll pry my accent for my cold, dead hands.

[Josh Gondelman]

Do you know what's so I actually speaking of accents in Austin Butler, that in that biker movie he did.

[Unknown Guest]

Yes.

[Josh Gondelman]

The woman. What was her name? I don't know the actress. I forget her name, but she's so great. What is her goddamn name?

[Unknown Guest]

Jody Comer.

[Josh Gondelman]

She did a ridiculous accent in that movie. And people. I came for her and were like, this is so over the top. And then they put out videos of the woman she was playing. Sounded just like, that's great. Like, it was like, no, she didn't do an over the top job. She did the truth. And that woman is ridiculous.

[Unknown Guest]

We got to tone down that real lady.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

She's just walking around all day meeting people.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. Truly. They're like, no, the real lady's much more cartoonish. We actually had to do one of these with the acc. So fucking funny.

[Unknown Guest]

We took out the racial stuff, but I don't know if that lady was racist. I have no idea.

[Josh Gondelman]

Hey, it's a safe enough bet.

[Unknown Guest]

I just feel like any accent strong enough, there might be a slur or a word that's a slur that you didn't know was a slur.

[Josh Gondelman]

If you have an accent, you're problematic is what Josh Gondelman thinks.

[Unknown Guest]

And I think that's not just American. French accent. You're gonna say some shit I don't wanna hear.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. Boston accent. Oh.

[Unknown Guest]

I mean, that's my birthright.

[Josh Gondelman]

You're from Boston?

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

You grew up there?

[Unknown Guest]

I grew up in the suburbs. Lived in the city for a while after college. Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

You went to Brandy's? Brandeis.

[Unknown Guest]

I went to Brandeis.

[Josh Gondelman]

How do you say it? Brandeis.

[Unknown Guest]

Brandeis.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, Brandeis. Take out me getting it wrong. Take out me getting it wrong. Is that in Boston?

[Unknown Guest]

It's just. It's like eight miles west, so I'll say many people haven't heard of it. And I went to college just outside Boston. And then I see their face and I go, not Harvard.

[Josh Gondelman]

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

[Unknown Guest]

Don't give me that face. Reel it back.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. It would never be me. Is Brandeis like, what is it gayer? What is it going on out there?

[Unknown Guest]

I guess it's kind of gay. It's very Jewish.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. Okay. Rock On.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. In a way that sometimes is nice. And sometimes I'm like, I don't know about that.

[Josh Gondelman]

What do you mean?

[Unknown Guest]

Just, it's. I learned a lot about all the different flavors of Judaism. Like, I went to school with a kid who was like, Orthodox Jewish, hippie, big. Like, I seemed like a hallucinogens guy, psychedelics guy. And on his birthday one year, he blindfolded himself for the whole week before and then had his friends lead him around so that on his 21st birthday or whatever birthday it was, he would see the world with fresh eyes in the new year. And so that's like a kind of Jew there is.

[Josh Gondelman]

Pardon my ignorance.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

I didn't know that Hasidic folks were allowed to be stoner hippies.

[Unknown Guest]

Not Hasidic. Like, modern Orthodox. Yeah, yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

What is modern Orthodox?

[Unknown Guest]

So it's like you can, like, live in the world and it's more like.

[Josh Gondelman]

Or you can take acid.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. It's less, like, small. I'm trying not to say, like, offensive stereotypes about Hasidic people. Maybe I'll just do it in a Boston accent. But it's less. The communities are less self contained. And so it's like people who are very religious and observant but are out in the world doing world stuff.

[Josh Gondelman]

Nice. Hell, yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. But it is like. I mean, it's not to get too deep into things, but it is like, because there is every flavor of Jew. There's like a lot of super cool progressive people that I met, like, of all kinds of religious faiths and stripes. And then there's like, a lot of stuff that's like, I'm gonna go over to Israel right now to help.

[Josh Gondelman]

You're like, what are you talking about?

[Unknown Guest]

To help? Watch.

[Josh Gondelman]

I'm tapping in.

[Unknown Guest]

Don't finish that.

[Josh Gondelman]

What are you tapping in on?

[Unknown Guest]

Do not tap in.

[Josh Gondelman]

Do not tap in.

[Unknown Guest]

Why are you wearing goggles when you think the goggles are full? And so it is like a real. It's interesting.

[Josh Gondelman]

I'm going to Israel right now to help.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

Do not say for what is.

[Unknown Guest]

Don't finish that sentence.

[Josh Gondelman]

Hey, that's enough. That's enough. That is so funny. Yeah. I mean, I only ever knew. I didn't grow up around any Jewish people. And then I learned about Judaism in college.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

And. And then only ever was around, like, very progressive, like, modern, like, liberal Jewish folks.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

That was very, like, like, I. I took an Intro to Judaism class in Chicago when I lived there and had, like, a woman rabbi and had, like, we talked about, like, trans People, you know?

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

It was so I, I. It was like the third rung of learning, learning about Judaism that I even learned about, like, Orthodoxy and Hasidic people.

[Unknown Guest]

It's. I think that's such, like, a beautiful thing about Judaism is, like, the expansiveness of the faith to be able to be like. We had a woman as a rabbi for a while when I was a kid, and then a gay man who had converted from Southern baptism. And he had, like. He was Scottish, of Scottish descent. So he had, like, a tartan plaid tallis that he wore. Yeah. And I was just like, this is sick. And so, like, how expansive it is in that way and, like, really kind of pushing in a social justice way. And I think that's, like, a nice malleability to be able to go, like, I belong to this religion, and there are people that practice in a way that I don't agree with, but I don't feel like I have to be like, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. I don't know. I feel like whenever being from Boston, being Catholic, and there are people who are Catholic who will be like, yeah. I mean, not like those guys, you know, not involved.

[Josh Gondelman]

Not those fucking guys.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah, dude.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. That's so funny. Do you think you'd ever move back to Boston?

[Unknown Guest]

I don't think so. I don't think my wife would want to live there.

[Josh Gondelman]

She's a New Yorker.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. She's from Jersey. She went to college in Philly, which. Philly is just Boston.

[Josh Gondelman]

It's the same.

[Unknown Guest]

They're both. Not that one is better or worse than the other, but they're equivalent.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

Except for my family isn't one of them.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're the same. Except that I have deep roots and loved ones in.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah, exactly.

[Josh Gondelman]

Interesting.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

Why do you think she wouldn't want to go to Boston? She's just so in on New York.

[Unknown Guest]

She likes New York. I think she would do la.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. Whoa. Would you do la?

[Unknown Guest]

I would. I love our life here, though. I'm, like, not itching to move.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

But I do. I enjoy visiting L. A. I'm not a hater.

[Josh Gondelman]

We're getting a new dog.

[Unknown Guest]

We are getting a new dog.

[Josh Gondelman]

You have a New York dog coming.

[Unknown Guest]

New York dog.

[Josh Gondelman]

New York dog. Hey. She's walking in.

[Unknown Guest]

She's barking over here. She is in Massachusetts right now. She's from the. I don't know if I'm supposed to say. She's being fostered in New England in Worcester, Mass. And so we're joking about her being like, A little Massachusetts dog, like off.

[Josh Gondelman]

She's voiced by Seth MacFarlane. Just straight up Brian Griffin. Yeah, that'd be sick. Honestly, I would love that for y'all. That would be great. What's going on with you these days? What are you up to?

[Unknown Guest]

Oh, my gosh. That is a loaded question.

[Josh Gondelman]

Oh, come on.

[Unknown Guest]

It's mostly the dog thing. I've been on the road a bunch. I'm gonna special coming out eventually. Stand up. Yeah, I'm really excited. I shot it last summer at the Bell house, which is the best. I love that place. I love the Bell house.

[Josh Gondelman]

Although can I say please? And you don't have to co sign this. Live nation. Relax on the green room changes at the Bell House.

[Unknown Guest]

Oh, it's very different.

[Josh Gondelman]

I don't like. There's a big buffet in there now that takes up too much space. I don't like the metal detectors very much. I'm kind of pro bringing metals, but the metal detectors I don't.

[Unknown Guest]

I like to. When I get into my seat at a show, I put an anchor down.

[Josh Gondelman]

I anchor myself right there.

[Unknown Guest]

That's right.

[Josh Gondelman]

No, it slows down the process.

[Unknown Guest]

Hey, would you mind moving? So me and my. Nope.

[Josh Gondelman]

No, my anchor is going to be here.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

No, the metal detectors are fine, but I don't like the green room changes. They took out a lot of the seating.

[Unknown Guest]

They did.

[Josh Gondelman]

And I'm mad about it. Live Nation. Fix it.

[Unknown Guest]

I like all the scenes. One thing that changed there recently and this I feel a great fondness for and attachment to is when we did this special, we shot a little intro through. There's a door that's like to the side of the stage and goes right backstage. And we were just shooting through the open door. And the wall was just like a big beige wall. It didn't have to be anything else, but they were like, oh, it'll look nicer. The production folks are like, it'll look nicer if we take the little B and H that are bolted in the green room and. And put them on that wall. And then the Bell house people were like, ooh, we like that there. So it stayed from my taping. And I'm like, so every time I go now, even just to watch a show, I'm like, oh, that's nice.

[Josh Gondelman]

You enacted a change at the bellhouse.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah, such like a special night for me. And then just seeing the letters there, I'm like, yeah, we did that.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, that's me.

[Unknown Guest]

That's my impression of my dog.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, yeah. Already really proud of it. That's actually sick. That's your mark on the Bell house.

[Unknown Guest]

I feel really. I don't know, I feel like I've lived here a long time and I like those little things of, like, knowing which subway car to get in for my destination to be like, I'm going to get out and then climb up the stairs right there. I feel like Jason Statham. Like, I could avoid being assassinated or I could assassinate.

[Josh Gondelman]

You're just like Jason Statham.

[Unknown Guest]

I'm a lot like Jason.

[Josh Gondelman]

I've always said that about you.

[Unknown Guest]

I'm bald. That's it.

[Josh Gondelman]

I've killed a lot. I'm running around.

[Unknown Guest]

Yep.

[Josh Gondelman]

That's so fun. So you recorded it last summer.

[Unknown Guest]

Last summer.

[Josh Gondelman]

And when's it coming out?

[Unknown Guest]

We're still waiting. I think, like, I should know in the next couple of weeks. Weeks. But I'm very excited.

[Josh Gondelman]

Hell yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

I'll ask you questions off mic about what's going on because I'm curious. I want to know all the details.

[Unknown Guest]

I'm really excited.

[Josh Gondelman]

That's exciting. But when it comes out, everyone has to go and stream it.

[Unknown Guest]

Thank you.

[Josh Gondelman]

And watch Josh Gonelman's Stand Up Hour.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

Stand Up Hour. Stand up two hours.

[Unknown Guest]

I did four.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. Yeah. It's a four part series.

[Unknown Guest]

Remember what Dane Cook was doing in like the late aughts where he would just talk until people fell asleep?

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. Until people started walking home. He's like, all right, I guess that's it.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. Like, the subways are going to close, man.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. We can't get back to Jersey. They're shutting off the path.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. Which is both. It's like a. That is obviously what the name of the train is, the path train. But that also just sounds so. That's like something Gandalf would say.

[Josh Gondelman]

They're closing down the portal. Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

Thou shalt not pass.

[Josh Gondelman]

Honestly, you should be in charge of the trains in New York just so you can make announcements like that.

[Unknown Guest]

I think that would be fun.

[Josh Gondelman]

Hey, guys, this is Josh. Thou shalt not path.

[Unknown Guest]

I love when people have fun with it.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

Like when. Especially when you can hear him. When like a subway announcement starts with.

[Josh Gondelman]

Like, all right, everybody, listen. Here's the deal. Yeah, yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

Like. Or someone just goes, you've got to stop standing in the doorway when they're closing.

[Josh Gondelman]

Like, you're like their child. Yeah, yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

They just admonish. It's so. And it's like, you can't. Obviously they can see cars that you can't see. So you're just like, where is that happening. She's really mad at that guy.

[Josh Gondelman]

You. Yeah, I love. That does make me feel, like, very in community with the conductor.

[Unknown Guest]

Oh, it's great.

[Josh Gondelman]

I'm like, yeah, we're just two people. You're at work on the train, and I'm sitting over here.

[Unknown Guest]

I love. One of my favorite things in the world is encountering someone at their job where they're not putting up any pretense, where they're just, like, being a person. And I like, there's a guy that used to work at my Dunkin in my neighborhood, and I would go, how's it going, man? When I would come in to pick up, even when I order from Happy, hey, what's up? He's always very friendly. And then he would go, dude, I wanna fucking die. And, like, obviously, I want the best for him. I don't want him to die. But I really appreciated that he wasn't like, I'm great.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All good here.

[Unknown Guest]

Never better. And you're like, what's wrong with you?

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, no, I do kinda like that sometimes. I can't remember the exact one, but there was one time in Kansas City, I went into a quick trip, which is like, my favorite gas station, and there was this old guy working the counter, and I said something. I said something like that. I was like, hey, man, how's it going tonight? And while he was, like, checking me out, and he said something to the effect of, like. He said something like, I'm overworked, I'm underpaid, and I'm over the hill. How about you, brother? And I just, you know, he said it a billion times, and it's like his go to. Yeah, but I liked that. I thought that. I think stuff like that is cute.

[Unknown Guest]

I love a little, like, bit that's just out in the wild.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

Like, he does that, and people are charmed, and it's like a nice moment for him.

[Josh Gondelman]

That's his daily bit. Yeah, yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

People should get to have bits. It's not just for us.

[Josh Gondelman]

No, it's for everybody.

[Unknown Guest]

That's right.

[Josh Gondelman]

Bits are for everybody.

[Unknown Guest]

Bits are for everybody.

[Josh Gondelman]

And that's why you're running.

[Unknown Guest]

I'm democratizing bits.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're doing universal bit care. Everyone gets bits under Josh. Would you ever run for office?

[Unknown Guest]

I don't think so.

[Josh Gondelman]

I think you'd be good at it.

[Unknown Guest]

Thank you. I did. I'm, like, in the WGA elected leadership, but elections stress me out.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

I don't like having to prove that. I'm. Or attempt to be more popular than other people.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. To be like, please, I'm better than the other guy.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. Like that. This. This guy. Vote for me. That guy stinks.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. He's gonna do a horrible job.

[Unknown Guest]

And, like, I. That's. I do a bad job when people are like, why should we vote for him? I don't know a lot of good people, but I'll try really hard.

[Josh Gondelman]

You're on the wga.

[Unknown Guest]

What is the East Council?

[Josh Gondelman]

Got you, got you, got you, got you.

[Unknown Guest]

So I do. I'm. I'm the. But I can't imagine doing being in an election where the body is larger than, like, people. Like, a few thousand people who all do the same job.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. Who I, like, know a lot.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

Like, really, genuinely, intimately know many of them. Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

Like, I like running for mayor. Like, mayor of New York Seems like such a bad job, too.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

You have to be such a. Like, you have to be such a madman. Like, you have to be Andrew Cuomo to want to do it, or Eric Adams. You have to just be like, I want to be the city's dad.

[Josh Gondelman]

I want to be reviled.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. You know, people in my district hate me, some of them, but I would like America to hate me.

[Josh Gondelman]

I want to be hated by every talk show host in the country.

[Unknown Guest]

I'd like to be like, if the president had no power outside of 10 miles from my house.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. Many questions like, why.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

Why are you doing that? I have a question for you, please. The WGA strikes.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

How'd we do? Did we win? Technically, I think we did. Did we get.

[Unknown Guest]

Did we get good stuff? I think we did a good. I think we did a good job. It was really, like. It was obviously a really hard time, but I thought the, like, solidarity of the membership was really beautiful and, like, inspiring. And I think there are a lot of things that came out of it that wouldn't have, like, a lot of groundwork that was, like, for future stuff that wouldn't have happened without the strike. That offer, you know, the contract that was on the table before the strike was, like, pretty insulting.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

And we. We won.

[Unknown Guest]

I think we did.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

I. That's. That's what I've been saying.

[Josh Gondelman]

I can never really tell.

[Unknown Guest]

I. I'll tell you what. I'm still not working, so this is huge. I'm, like, really sticking. Sticking with it.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

Not my choice at this point, but.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, that's what I'm, like. I'm. I'm Wondering because I was so pro strike. I mean, I was so pro. I was on tour during the picket line, so I didn't get to be physically there a lot. But when I was in town, I was on the picket lines. I supported. I donated money to the different things and, like, really believed in it. I turned down, like, a couple, like, big gigs in support of, like, trying to be a good union member. And I felt like I'm a pro strike guy.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

And then after it, no one's working.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

In either thing. And I'm like, oh, like, did they win? And I just didn't know it.

[Unknown Guest]

My impulse with that, my inclination is just like, they're doing the thing they were going to do anyway. And the strike was like, a convenient thing to blame for, like, for them to make money, they should have to make stuff.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

But they're like, we found a trick. If we just don't do anything, then we're not spending money.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

Well, then what goes on tv? And they're like, the office.

[Josh Gondelman]

Ever heard of a show from 10 years ago? How about watching it once again?

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah, totally. And that's like. I don't know. It just feels all that when something. When the companies get that big, big. I'm just like, well, there's no way. Because they're. They just need to intake too much money to exist.

[Josh Gondelman]

Well, there's. Yeah, there's. There's the show from 10 years ago that we can rerun, and then there's this new fun trick called we're making it in London.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

Or. Or ever heard of Toronto? And so then you go there and they don't have to follow the rules and they make it somewhere else.

[Unknown Guest]

Their crew is children, Right. Just like a child labor child. Coal miners, camera op. They're like, I don't think that baby's old enough to see color yet. How is he operating the camera?

[Josh Gondelman]

Don't worry about it. Netflix loved him for it.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah, they actually. Netflix actually doesn't care. They don't see color. Actually, they're not allowed to say that anymore. They do see color, but they don't care if the audiences see color. Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, yeah. I don't know. I've been. I've been thinking about that a lot because no one is working. So I'm like, what's going on?

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

And I don't know the answer.

[Unknown Guest]

It's. It's. I don't think. I mean, I think the rest of the country is catching up. And they're like, I don't think anyone's going to have a job in like, six weeks.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, I don't think anyone's working anywhere.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

And I make one, not just in our industry. I'm like, what is going on? Well, with the world? Yeah, what's going on in the world?

[Unknown Guest]

And. And I don't know why we keep going back to the price of eggs. Like, eggs are the barometer. We're like, God, have you seen eggs? They're like $17 a piece.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, well, it's similar. The eggs thing to me is so similar to the trans people in sports thing, where it's like, sure. It's just like, this is a fucking thing they latch on to. And for some reason, most of us are dumb enough to go, yeah, yeah, I hate that. And then they're all pissed off and it's like, no, of course groceries need to be cheaper.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

Making ends meet is difficult, but I'm like, how are we letting them convince us that it's about the nebulous price of eggs, which they have no plan for? And not, like, I don't know, the price of rent, which they're actively avoiding talking about because they're going to continue letting real estate criminals do crime against us.

[Unknown Guest]

Exactly.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. I don't understand that.

[Unknown Guest]

That's. It's brutal. And. Yeah. Let trans people play sports and let. Let eggs be. Let eggs be.

[Josh Gondelman]

Let eggs be.

[Unknown Guest]

When I'm the mayor, bits are for everyone.

[Josh Gondelman]

Eggs can be. Eggs can be. And trans people will be playing sports. Actually, they're not gonna get an option.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

If you're trans, you have to enlist in sports. You have to play sports. You have to play a sport.

[Unknown Guest]

Josh is gonna make you pick.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. I'm thinking, who plays what, dude? Well, you know what's funny? I get. Do you know what an egg is in the trans community?

[Unknown Guest]

I don't know what egg is.

[Josh Gondelman]

An egg is something that I get called a lot. An egg is when, like, trans people will call someone an egg when they suspect that you are trans, but you don't know it yet.

[Unknown Guest]

Interesting.

[Josh Gondelman]

Or like, you're gonna hatch a bit.

[Unknown Guest]

Oh, so like an embryonic.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, they're like. They're like, you're. You're an. You're an egg. Like, you're trans. And we'll give me. Give you five years, basically.

[Unknown Guest]

People say that too often.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. I think it's because I hang out with almost exclusively trans people and talk about it so much that I think a lot of my trans friends are like, you gotta be right. And I'm like, well, no, you know, I don't think so, but I guess only time will tell. I'm open to anything happening generally.

[Unknown Guest]

Sure.

[Josh Gondelman]

I feel pretty locked in on boy right now, but if I woke up tomorrow and it was giving girl, then I'd start giving girl.

[Unknown Guest]

That's beautiful.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. I don't care. Whatever. Why the fuck not?

[Unknown Guest]

Who knows what's happening in the future?

[Josh Gondelman]

I don't know.

[Unknown Guest]

There was almost a Forrest Gump, too, and then there wasn't.

[Josh Gondelman]

And then there wasn't. I could be planning to go trans. And then 911 happens. All of a sudden, I'm kicked out of the Bronco. Nothing's happening.

[Unknown Guest]

You're like, it would actually be disrespectful to America to destroy another tower.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't. The tower. That is me being a boy. No, I don't. I don't understand people's, like, obsession with certainty and saying what things are absolutely are and absolutely going to be. I'm like, I don't know. Who knows?

[Unknown Guest]

I don't know anything.

[Josh Gondelman]

Nothing.

[Unknown Guest]

That's a fact.

[Josh Gondelman]

I barely know anything about the present moment.

[Unknown Guest]

No.

[Josh Gondelman]

Let alone the next one.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah, that one. We haven't even been there yet.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. What?

[Unknown Guest]

That would be like me knowing a lot about Taiwan, a place I've never been.

[Josh Gondelman]

You've never been to Taiwan. That's so true about you.

[Unknown Guest]

Thank you.

[Josh Gondelman]

You sort of. I keep asking you to go with me, and you'll never.

[Unknown Guest]

I thought. Honestly, I wrote it off as part of your bigger thing of everyone should be where you are.

[Josh Gondelman]

You're right.

[Unknown Guest]

So I did consider it a personal.

[Josh Gondelman]

I'm always in Taiwan. Yeah. I'm always saying, josh, come to Taiwan. And you're going, no, I don't want to.

[Unknown Guest]

I've been declining all these requests to go to Brazil.

[Josh Gondelman]

This episode of so True is brought to you by booking.combooking. yeah. Every time I use booking.com to find a place to stay in the US I know they'll have exactly what I'm looking for. They have a huge variety of options, from hotels to vacation rentals. And I know I can find exactly what I'm looking for. I found booking.com has something for everyone in my friend group. I'm definitely the planner. If I didn't do it, no one would. So when it's time to take that group vacation to the beach, I spread to my computer and go right to booking dot com. Now my friends can be pretty specific about what they need out of a place to Stay on vacation. But we simply must have an outdoor barbecue grill so I can make so my famous hot corn on the cob. Everybody can't get enough of my famous hot corn on the [e-mail] rental booking.com makes it easy and convenient to find so many great places to stay all across the country and make and eat hot corn on the cob. What is the hot corn on the cob?

[Unknown Guest]

Just get through it.

[Josh Gondelman]

No matter who you are. Booking.com helps you find the stay that's ridiculously right for you. Find exactly what you're looking for on booking.com booking. Yeah, I've been looking to find the best deal on concert tickets, which is why I want to give the sponsor of today's video, seatgeek, a huge shout out. Shout out. There are more than 70,000 events listed on SeatGeek and none of them are a wedding for Caleb. But there's concerts, sports, festivals, and more. Right now you can get tickets to the recently announced Beyonce, Kendrick Lamar and SZA Tour and more. I love using SeatGeek. As a frequent concert goer, it's been so great to have all my ticket buying needs all in one place. And the app they have is so darn easy to use. Look at all these great upcoming shows in my area. Wow. Seatgeek has your back. Each ticket is rated on a scale of 1 to 10, so you know you're getting a good deal. So look for the green dots. Green means good, red means bad, just like in traffic. Plus, every ticket is backed by their buyer guarantee. And you know I came through for you guys. You know I came through for you guys. You can use code SOTRU10 for 10% off your next set of tickets at SeatGeek. That's 10% off any tickets with promo code SOTRU10. Make sure you click the link in the description to download the app and have the code automatically added to your account so you can use it later. Thank you, seatgeek. Yeah, dude, I. I would love to actually go. Do you know what's big on my travel list? Hanoi.

[Unknown Guest]

Ooh.

[Josh Gondelman]

Have you ever been?

[Unknown Guest]

No.

[Josh Gondelman]

I just keep hearing amazing things about it. I would like to go.

[Unknown Guest]

I'm so poorly traveled.

[Josh Gondelman]

Really?

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

Do you have any interest?

[Unknown Guest]

I do.

[Josh Gondelman]

Why? Why don't you go?

[Unknown Guest]

Great question.

[Josh Gondelman]

Get out of here. Get to jfk.

[Unknown Guest]

I'm taking my anchor and I'm leaving. Yeah, no metal detector here.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, you can take your anchor on the plane. You should have to buy in a seat. Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

You know, I'm Like, I'm very self conscious about going places where English isn't, where I speak a little Spanish. Like, not enough, but enough to put my. Yeah, poquito. Just enough to put myself in a bad position.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, yeah. Just enough to insult someone without trying.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. Or to, like, get to the hospital.

[Josh Gondelman]

And just be like, help pointing out a gunshot wound. Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

And just, like, so proud that I remember, like, abrazzo ayura me.

[Josh Gondelman]

Ayura me.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah, exactly. And then it's like, como.

[Josh Gondelman]

Don't know anything, but, like, you can't travel. You're right.

[Unknown Guest]

And then. And there's. I get self conscious about, like, so many of my friends have gone to Japan, but I don't. I don't know Japanese. And they're like, we didn't. And that was fine. And I was like, but it wouldn't be fine for me.

[Josh Gondelman]

I do think you'd be fine.

[Unknown Guest]

Okay.

[Josh Gondelman]

But I worry about. I worry about traveling in Asia in general, and it's why I haven't gotten around to it quite yet, because I'm so big and I've heard how small things are there. Just like, tiny, tiny little restaurants and tiny little cars, and I'm worried that I'm going to, I don't know, be hunted for sport or something.

[Unknown Guest]

Sure.

[Josh Gondelman]

Or, you know, forced to, like, join the circus or something. I don't know. I'm so tall and fat that I'm like, there's no way I get out of this unscathed. I don't. I don't think they're gonna just let me go into the ramen place that has two seats, and I need three of those. The restaurant. The whole restaurant is two seats, and I need three. I'm not getting a bowl of ramen. You know what I mean? So I'm worried about that. But I want to go anyway.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. It does seem exciting and, like, different. Everyone I know comes back and is like, oh, it is like, a worthwhile place to travel because there is a culture that's so different from American culture that it's worth, like, visiting and learning about and enjoying.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. Well, some people don't want to travel at all.

[Unknown Guest]

I. My dad is like that.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

He's not a traveler.

[Josh Gondelman]

Some people are just like, I've got everything I need right here.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

And I don't desire to go anywhere.

[Unknown Guest]

And you. But you like to travel.

[Josh Gondelman]

I like to travel. But you know what's interesting? I have always been someone that if I had any free time and money, I was going. I was like, I'll go anywhere. I'll go. When I lived in Missouri and I was broke, I would go to New York anytime I got the chance. And when I got a little bit of money, I was like, I'll go to Europe anytime I get the chance. And just this year, I'm thinking about this summer. I need, I need to go on like a month long vacation because I've been burning the candle at somehow more than both ends. And I'm like, I need a vacation.

[Unknown Guest]

This sounds like a menorah, by the way.

[Josh Gondelman]

I'm burning the menorah at eight ends.

[Unknown Guest]

Happy Hanukkah. It is the wrong time of year, but I like that you're getting into this.

[Josh Gondelman]

Just. Yeah, I. All year round. I'm an ally. You can't stop me from being an ally. But I need a vacation. And for the first time ever, I'm thinking about just staying in the States, which is a new thing.

[Unknown Guest]

Where, where would you go in the States?

[Josh Gondelman]

Well, there's. I thought about just like getting a house for a month in like Wyoming or Montana or. I've also randomly. I did a. I went to a movie premiere in Savannah, Georgia recently and just loved it down there. And I was like, I could spend a month down there just like writing and walking to restaurants and wearing shorts.

[Unknown Guest]

That sounds beautiful.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. And sweating and getting a tan.

[Unknown Guest]

There is so much America.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

And I have seen a lot of America, which is cool. I like, I've done a lot. Not as many national parks as I would like and I think I should do more of that. But like Grand Canyon, pretty spectacular. Yeah. We got so many different weird cities.

[Josh Gondelman]

Oh, and fun little ones too.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

I'd like to do a big. And I don't know if you relate to this or not, but you tour. And so I get really sad that like I go to. I go to these cool cities for. For 16 hours.

[Unknown Guest]

Yep.

[Josh Gondelman]

I show up, I go to the show, I do the show, I sleep as much as I can, I leave.

[Unknown Guest]

Totally.

[Josh Gondelman]

And that is weird because then I'm like, yeah, technically I've been to Charlotte five times.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

But fuck if I know anything about it. You know, they'll be like, what's your.

[Unknown Guest]

Favorite thing to do in Charlotte? Like, well, I know this one hotel and then it's like a nice walk to the venue.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. I'll tell you, there's a Thai restaurant that delivers at 2:00am to my, to my hotel I stay at.

[Unknown Guest]

And it's fine and it's okay.

[Josh Gondelman]

And it's okay.

[Unknown Guest]

But it's the best place I've been.

[Josh Gondelman]

In Charlotte, if you need to know, like, the best venue. Chicken Tenders.

[Unknown Guest]

Yes.

[Josh Gondelman]

Boy, do I totally. Some things to tell you.

[Unknown Guest]

That's. Sometimes I'll go to a city, especially if it's just for one night, and the folks there will be like. If you need new restaurant recommendations, I've printed out, like, I made you a list, and I'm like, I can go. None of these places are within arm's reach right now, so I can't go to any of them.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, I will go to whatever is across the street.

[Unknown Guest]

But on the other hand, if I'm in a place for, like, three days and I have two friends there, and they're like, oh, this is a great place to get brunch. Here's a place to have a drink. And before the show, here is a place that's open late. I'm like, dallas is the best city in America.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. I can see my life here, and I like the way it looks. Totally.

[Unknown Guest]

It's all unfolding in front of me. Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

I do this every city we go to on tour. I literally, at one point say, I could see my life in Toronto, and I like the way it looks. Yeah, I love the way my life looks. If we get more than 16 hours, I see myself moving there.

[Unknown Guest]

It's like, God, I went to an art museum. One out of one days I was here. I'd probably go to a museum every day.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. Yeah. It's totally sick.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. It doesn't scale.

[Josh Gondelman]

No. I think that way, too. And then I'm in New York. Meanwhile, I haven't been to a museum in months. Can't get me in the door of one.

[Unknown Guest]

No.

[Josh Gondelman]

I'm like, it's my day off. What am I gonna do?

[Unknown Guest]

If they're trying to bring you in?

[Josh Gondelman]

Stop, stop. Keep. I will not get back.

[Unknown Guest]

The path is closed.

[Josh Gondelman]

The path is closed. You cannot Path. Yeah, I do. There is. I'd love to take a. Also, I'm kind of thinking maybe for my summer. My summer vacation, I'd like to take a road trip through the South.

[Unknown Guest]

Oh, I've been to a lot of.

[Josh Gondelman]

Places in the south, but I'd like to do a very specific road trip where it's like, I'm gonna stay in. I'm gonna go to New Orleans. Five days. I'm gonna go to Birmingham for five days. I'm gonna go, like. I'm gonna, like, be out there.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

Get a little house in each one.

[Unknown Guest]

It's fun.

[Josh Gondelman]

That'd be Fun.

[Unknown Guest]

New Orleans is like one of the most fun places in America too.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, I'd like to go spend some actual time fun. Yeah. Would be fun. What's your favorite place you've been to? What's your favorite place you've been to in the States that, like, surprised you?

[Unknown Guest]

Oh, that's a great question. I love the Twin Cities. I love Minneapolis especially.

[Josh Gondelman]

We were just there two days ago.

[Unknown Guest]

Isn't it great? Yeah, it's so nice.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

Like, it's a. It's fun. It, like, it is a real city. Like, I think people kind of gloss over because Chicago is wonderful too. And people are like, oh, the Midwest, that's like Chicago, etc. But like, I love Minneapolis. I'm always. Audiences are great there. I always have a great time doing shows.

[Josh Gondelman]

The people are so nice.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. The. The comedy scene, because I've been through enough times. I like, know a bunch of comics. So it's like one of those places where I've been there for a few days. There's enough friends to go like, oh, let's get lunch and catch up. And we haven't seen each other in forever. And so I. Yeah, that's one of the places I love visiting.

[Josh Gondelman]

We had a bison burger in Minneapolis. That was life changing. So back to you.

[Unknown Guest]

Oh, wait, you know where I love is. I really like Iowa City.

[Josh Gondelman]

Oh, yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

I love, like a college town.

[Josh Gondelman]

Big time.

[Unknown Guest]

Fun.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. What college town was. I just. Oh, Fayetteville. Fayetteville. I just did a show at University of Arkansas. I love a college town, dude.

[Unknown Guest]

Bloomington, Indiana. Yes. So fun.

[Josh Gondelman]

Like, Jesse Eisenberg lives there.

[Unknown Guest]

I know.

[Josh Gondelman]

You know that I've met.

[Unknown Guest]

I've met him there.

[Josh Gondelman]

Really?

[Unknown Guest]

He was so nice.

[Josh Gondelman]

He's so big on, like, the Bloomington play community.

[Unknown Guest]

Oh, that's really involved with like a.

[Josh Gondelman]

Play workshop there or something.

[Unknown Guest]

I think that must be so nice and so intimidating for them for him to be there. He's sitting in the audience and like, that guy was just nominated for a bunch of Oscars.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. I think that guy's cool as fuck.

[Unknown Guest]

He's really nice. I like the movie.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

A real pain.

[Josh Gondelman]

A real pain. I saw it at my favorite indie theater in Kansas City.

[Unknown Guest]

Oh, cool.

[Josh Gondelman]

I'm like, so on the verge of sneezing. Armor Screen. I'm okay, baby. Thank you. Armor Screenland in Kansas City is this really cute little art house theater in north Kansas City that has like. Like kind of. I don't know how you say it, like, what are those old, like, Atari and stuff? What are Those like.

[Unknown Guest]

Oh, the arcade games.

[Josh Gondelman]

Okay. The old arcade games. Like a basement themed bar around those.

[Unknown Guest]

That's really fun.

[Josh Gondelman]

Isn't that fun? Yeah, Yeah, I like that a lot. I like a weird little art house theater a lot.

[Unknown Guest]

You do?

[Josh Gondelman]

It's pretty much my favorite thing.

[Unknown Guest]

It's getting like. I feel like such a. Like a cranky old man where I'm like, oh, everything is now like movie with like cocktails they bring to your seats and stuff. Which I'm not against especially. It's like a fun date night for like a fun movie or whatever.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

But I do miss like the charm of like one of one independent theater.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. I think my rule for those kind of theaters you're talking about, like your Alamos and stuff would be they can only play certain types of movies.

[Unknown Guest]

Yes.

[Josh Gondelman]

I'm sorry, but it's distracting when someone two rows in front of you is getting buffalo cauliflower bites during Triangle of Sadness.

[Unknown Guest]

Yes. You know what I mean?

[Josh Gondelman]

It's like, hey, let's keep it. Let's just stick to Marvel.

[Unknown Guest]

I know the Zone of Interest has such intricate sound design, but all I can hear is your celery sticks.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. Only during a Superman movie should you be getting buffalo chicken tenders. Yes. And then.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah, but they've gone the other way where it's like a little towards the artsy and it's like, no, that's where you should go to see Fast and Furious.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yes. That's where you see the big dumb studio. Hundred million dollar movies. And then I want to be at a place like, you know, some tiny little. I want to be at fucking Armor Screen Land when I see Triangle of Sadness.

[Unknown Guest]

Yes.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. Or Zone of Interest.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah, for sure. Because that's like the. Those are movies where you're like, I couldn't even think about buffalo cauliflower right now.

[Josh Gondelman]

No, I couldn't think about being hungry.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

I'm so into this art.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

What was. Did you have one growing up like an art house that you went to?

[Unknown Guest]

We went to. I saw like there are a few around Boston. We would go to this second run theater called Hollywood Hits and that's where we would see like the slightly weird movies because it would be like $4 and they didn't check IDs.

[Josh Gondelman]

Hell yeah. I think so.

[Unknown Guest]

We could go to like rated R movies and we would see. I saw like, oh Brother, Where Art Thou There?

[Josh Gondelman]

Hell yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

A super long run at the bigger the AMCs and stuff. And it was like, it was cheap and it was fun and the Seats were horrible. And you would be like. There'd be like four people in there. It was great.

[Josh Gondelman]

That's the best.

[Unknown Guest]

I really loved it.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

And it was like right near the mall. So you go there, go to the mall, hang out. Real good teen spot. And it felt like I was getting. I was like, oh, this is like a little more cultural.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you lived in the burbs.

[Unknown Guest]

I did live in the burbs.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. I lived in the country, like, oh, an hour and a half outside the city. But I would drive into Kansas City, same thing, and go to this place called the Tivoli.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

That was like a. Yeah. A two room art house theater. And one of the rooms was massive. And it's where I would see all the weird stuff that like the. We had a. A chain in my. A theater chain in my town that wasn't like a big one. It was like a regional one. It was called, like BNB Theaters, but they wouldn't play.

[Unknown Guest]

It was the movie theater where you could sleep over and they just make you.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

Breakfast is a big bucket of popcorn.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. The, the. The bed sheets are made out of like, curtain, like red velvet curtain. It was awesome.

[Unknown Guest]

I like the Airbnb theater, which is just the screen on the back of those.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was, it was not far off from being that zany. And they wouldn't play any of the cool movies.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. Like, I like that. It was nice to see. I would get so jealous as a child when they'd be like, opening in select theaters this Friday. And he'd be like, select the ones near me.

[Josh Gondelman]

I'm a loser.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. Why don't you select the Kendall Square Cinema in Cambridge, Massachusetts?

[Josh Gondelman]

Dude, that. I mean, that I really did feel like when I would go to the. When I would go to the city. Kansas City.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

And. And get like, Thai food. Getting Thai food was like, whoa. Like, we are culture.

[Unknown Guest]

I mean, even in the suburbs where I grew up, like, my mom still doesn't trust sushi as a concept.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

She's like, I just don't know how people do it.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It just can't be right.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

They're not cooking it.

[Unknown Guest]

You're not great. She's like, I just worry. And it's like, but you've, like, other. Never mind.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

And they. When they start. My parents started eating Thai food when, like a place open up, they're like, well, try it.

[Josh Gondelman]

But like, we'll see.

[Unknown Guest]

Well, we're using Forks.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. Not xenophobic, but, like, strangely adamant. Yeah. No, I. It felt so, like. It's so funny now living in, you know, New York and stuff, but as a. As a kid in rural Missouri, it was like getting like. Yeah. Having an oyster was like. It felt like going to the moon.

[Unknown Guest]

Totally.

[Josh Gondelman]

It was like, we just don't do that.

[Unknown Guest]

Totally. And my. My parents are. They're very, like, inclusive and. And they are excited about that. There are other kinds of people. But my mom is so worried about getting stuff wrong, which is. I guess I've expressed the same thing. But she was.

[Josh Gondelman]

Okay.

[Unknown Guest]

Face the fork. Like that kind of thing.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

Are they gonna be mad at me?

[Josh Gondelman]

Well, there's a. There. No, that's a totally. It comes from a totally nice place. Like, there is an. I definitely have relatives like that who. There's an uneasiness to being like, I don't want to come embarrass myself in front of you.

[Unknown Guest]

Totally.

[Josh Gondelman]

I don't dislike you. I want. I want. I want to be cool and try new things, but I'm like. It's embarrassed. I'm shy.

[Unknown Guest]

Which I think is. Especially growing up pre Google. It was a kind of thing where you didn't always know the customs and you had to know someone who knew how to be ushered in and what was the way to do things. I was out at a fancy restaurant with some friends recently, and two of us. They brought those little cube towels that expand when they're a little moist. Two of us almost ate those. That's where I still am.

[Josh Gondelman]

No, it's. You used to need, like, a weird cousin who listened to alternative music.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

To teach you about, like, chopsticks.

[Unknown Guest]

Yes.

[Josh Gondelman]

Like, you need that.

[Unknown Guest]

Needed to.

[Josh Gondelman]

That used to be.

[Unknown Guest]

Yes.

[Josh Gondelman]

But now there's so much. There's so much access, but nothing feels. It's funny. There's so much access to everything, but nothing feels accessible.

[Unknown Guest]

Nothing feels accessible. People get too comfortable.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

We're like. I don't think you were supposed to do the accent when you order.

[Josh Gondelman]

That is so. Yeah. It's like a white guy who. Who is obsessed with a certain culture.

[Unknown Guest]

Yes, Totally.

[Josh Gondelman]

Usually Asia.

[Unknown Guest]

And it's. Right. And it's like, just because you're like. Your ponytail is not a passport.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. Hey, konichiwa. Should not be coming out of your mouth at this suburban Japanese restaurant.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. Right. With all in a whole Italian staff.

[Josh Gondelman]

Your ponytail is not a passport. Let's take that to heart, boys. Boys. Let's take that to heart.

[Unknown Guest]

But when I'm the Mayor, your ponytail will.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, ponytails will be passports. I don't. Yeah, I think give everyone passports. I don't care anymore. I don't understand some of the fights we're having right now. I'm like, am I the only one who just doesn't give a fuck? Yeah, I don't care.

[Unknown Guest]

Well, there's bad stuff that's going on that I was like, I didn't even know things could be bad like that. Yeah, it's like the opposite of when you try a new cuisine. You're like, I didn't know food could be good in this way. Where, like, the government now. I'm just like, you can just, like, tear out all the chairs at the Supreme Court and sell them on ebay. Like, whatever it's happening. This all sucks. Stinks. Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

Or the stuff that. Yeah, the stuff we're supposed to be mad about that they're, like, trying to pitch, like, get us pitched into a fever about. They're like. They're like, well, we can't have the federal government sending money for special needs kids to, like, jump on trampolines at recess. I'm like, we can't.

[Unknown Guest]

Why not?

[Josh Gondelman]

I'm supposed to care? I thought that. That sounds kind of cool to me.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah, it's just like, how much does trampoline cost?

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. They're like, oh, it's 20 bucks. I'm like, that's crippling the debt. I don't understand what's going on.

[Unknown Guest]

You already have my 20 bucks.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, you.

[Unknown Guest]

That's what I wanted. All this stuff that, like, we can't do it.

[Josh Gondelman]

It's.

[Unknown Guest]

You already have my money, and now you're just telling me cool stuff you're not doing with it anymore.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. So that's the other thing they're trying to get. They're trying to get us being like. They're being like, yeah, Biden started sending, like, a billion extra dollars to food banks, and we're cutting that waste. I'm like, no, I like that. Do that.

[Unknown Guest]

Do that. Don't do the other stuff.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. Stop sending guns to people. Fuck.

[Unknown Guest]

Wait, do you want to do. Does everyone just get to send a list of priorities? I have some thoughts.

[Josh Gondelman]

I've got ideas.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. That'd be sick, actually. We should start a government where once a week, everyone gets in a room and just goes, okay. Someone with a marker at a whiteboard goes, what do we want to do? Everyone yells things out. We go, okay, tally for free food. What else?

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. Who thinks we. Right. Guns we should. Guns on the moon. You're like, I don't know, man. They have a lot of votes for guns on the moon.

[Josh Gondelman]

No, they really want guns on the moon this month. Let's give it one month.

[Unknown Guest]

Where it's like, yeah. Oh, it's ridiculous. Where like, we're sending foreign aid to stop people from having malaria. And it's like, I don't think people should have malaria.

[Josh Gondelman]

That sounds great to me. I think that also benefits us. That's the other thing is they keep the conservative. Right now is trying to pitch that, like, why are we. Why are we the world's peacekeepers? And it's like, well, okay, maybe that's a perspective that you're allowed to have. But hey, if malaria gets really bad, guess who that's going to come back to, right? Fucking us, dog. Yeah, those. That stuff can come over here too.

[Unknown Guest]

You're not going to fucking keep malaria out at the border with more guards.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. It's like your tight borders thing is not gonna keep AIDS from spreading.

[Unknown Guest]

Right. You can sneeze across borders.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

And I will, which is not how you get aids.

[Josh Gondelman]

And I will say that I understand that's not how AIDS are.

[Unknown Guest]

I would sell the other.

[Josh Gondelman]

I'm giving people in Canada aids. I'm sneezing at the border.

[Unknown Guest]

We're sending our sickest Americans to the border to sneeze into Canada.

[Josh Gondelman]

Everyone get to Niagara Falls now.

[Unknown Guest]

Oh, the tariffs aren't working. We're giving you. We're just gonna gum syphilis across the border.

[Josh Gondelman]

Everyone touch your eye and start rubbing it on door handles.

[Unknown Guest]

Bring your toddlers. We're giving a whole nation pink eye.

[Josh Gondelman]

We're fucking these people up. We're going to war with Canada.

[Unknown Guest]

These biological warfare.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, we're going nuts. Everyone get out there and open mouth cough on their pastries.

[Unknown Guest]

Honestly, if that was all the funding our military got, I'd be like, all right.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. If all we did was send people over to cough, yeah, I'd be into it. I'd be like, that's gotta be cheaper.

[Unknown Guest]

Probably not the worst time we've done that in American history.

[Josh Gondelman]

Y. I think we have a history of that. Yeah. When was the last time you needed to go to a doctor? But you pushed it off? You made an excuse like, it'll heal on its own, or I'm too busy, or maybe I don't even know which doctor we go to. I think we've all been there. Booking a doctor appointment can just feel so daunting. But thanks to Zocdoc, there's no reason to delay. They make it easy to find and book a doctor who's right for you. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment. We're talking about booking in network appointments with more than 100,000 doctors across every specialty for mental health to dental health, primary care to urgent care and more. You can filter for doctors who take your insurance, are located nearby, are a good fit for any medical need you may have, and are highly rated by verified patients. No more of the tyranny of the unverified patient. Once you find the right doctor, you can see their actual appointment openings. Choose a time slot that works for you and click to instantly book a visit. Appointments made through Zocdoc also happen fast, typically within just 24 to 72 hours of booking. Just somewhere in there you can even score same day appointments. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to Zocdoc.com Sotrue to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's Zocdoc.com Sotrue Zocdoc.com SotRue Spring is upon us folks, and I've always said the spring is the perfect time to get organized, set goals and prioritize what matters most. For me, a top priority is my financial wellness or financial wellness if you're British, which feels more important than ever. Thanks to Rocket Money, my goals feel achievable. They show me all my subscriptions right in one place and help me easily cancel ones that I forgot I've been paying for. Rocket Money also pulls together all of my spending across all my different accounts so I can clearly track my spending habits and see where I can cut back. Rocket Money is a personal finance app or personal finance app depending on just where how you talk that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. See all of your subscriptions in one place and know exactly where your money is going. For ones you don't want anymore, Rocket Money can help you cancel them. Rocket Money's dashboard gives you a clear view of your expenses across all your accounts. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all the apps, premium features, $740 a year. You could take up probably one or two trips to Five Guys, but that, well, very good. The new Goals feature automatically saves money for you so you don't have to think about it. Pay off credit card debt. Leave it in. Pay off credit card debt. Put away money for a house, or just build your savings. Rocket Money makes it easy. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to rocket money.com so true today. That's rocket bunny.com so true. Rocket money.com so true. What was. What's one. What's one law you would pass if you were in charge of the whole world? Silly. Not serious.

[Unknown Guest]

Oh, one lie.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, silly. You know, actually, you know, women.

[Unknown Guest]

Get them out of here.

[Josh Gondelman]

No more women.

[Unknown Guest]

Like, actually, there are so many podcasts where that is just what they say.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

Gosh. What is the law?

[Josh Gondelman]

I think Josh Gondoman's silly law.

[Unknown Guest]

I know. Okay. I think we need a caveat to the First Amendment.

[Josh Gondelman]

Nice.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

It's not feeling silly yet, but let's see.

[Unknown Guest]

And then it's, like, where you can. You should also. It's also freedom of like, hey, man, shut the fuck up. Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. Fuck, yeah. And we should be able to. We should be able to. I think that in every public space, you should be able to vote on kicking one person out.

[Unknown Guest]

I love that.

[Josh Gondelman]

Like, if someone on a plane's misbehaving, everyone on the plane should be able to click a button and go eject their seat. Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. Y. Yeah. Parachute. They're just done.

[Josh Gondelman]

Or like, a restaurant be like, that table is being annoying. And we all think it to an extent that they need to leave. Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

And maybe it's like, just like, a quiet thing where, like, everybody hits their button, and once it reaches critical mass.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

Then they're just kind of quietly escorted out.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

It doesn't have to be like a. Like, an eye.

[Josh Gondelman]

No. It's not. It's not theatrical. It's not violent. I think they should get their bill paid for or whatever. They should get, like, a Visa gift card. We say, hey, everyone voted for you to leave. Leave the space.

[Unknown Guest]

Yep. I do think, though, in certain places, you should. There should be an opposite vote. Like, not just yay or nay, but a vote of, like, let him cook.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep them.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

I like what.

[Unknown Guest]

I want to see where this is going.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. It's up votes and down votes. Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. Yes.

[Josh Gondelman]

You should be able to upvote the behavior.

[Unknown Guest]

That's right.

[Josh Gondelman]

Sometimes a person's being crazy on the train, and you can tell three people want them to leave, but everyone else is like, I don't know, it's kind of breaking up the year I'm out. Yeah, you know what? Fuck yeah. They're cooking a little bit.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah, Especially like, my. My wife is such a good eavesdropper and so she'll like, clue me in because I'll be. I'll just like, be thinking thoughts or like, want to hear what she has to say. I want to say something to her. And then it'll just be like a guy being like, I don't know. It's just like, I think my ex is gonna get mad if I have sex with this one I'm working with. But it's like, we broke up four hours ago.

[Josh Gondelman]

Dude, I'm so eavesdropping is my, like, Olympic sport.

[Unknown Guest]

It's so good.

[Josh Gondelman]

I'm locked in on it.

[Unknown Guest]

It's so good.

[Josh Gondelman]

I'm always listening.

[Unknown Guest]

Have you had a good eavesdrop lately?

[Josh Gondelman]

Yes. Have I told this one on the actual pod yet? I had a. We'll find out. Trust the fans will let us know anytime. Anytime I repeat something, I hear about it. But there was a. I was on the. I was on a rental car shuttle from LAX to the airport. From the rental car place to the airport. And the southern woman is sitting with her husband and they clearly don't like each other. And she's like, you know, being like, babe, look at my phone. And he's being like, you know, ignoring her. And I have my headphones on so they think I'm not listening. And then at one point, they're silent for a second. She goes, oh, my God. And he go. And then he even. He was like, what? Like he knew it was something good.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah, yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

And she looks at her phone and she turns him and goes, how could a child this beautiful come from a woman so ugly? And I was like, whoa. I was like, I need a meeting with everybody.

[Unknown Guest]

That's really good.

[Josh Gondelman]

I need a one on one with him, her, the ugly mom, the baby. Like, I need. I need to debrief with everyone. Everyone. Yeah, I just was like, that's good shit.

[Unknown Guest]

I love that we got one, a sliver on our block the other day that was like so mysterious. And I wanted to stop the lady and ask follow up questions because she was on the phone and she just went. And it was just so fucked up that he did that. And then we walked past and I didn't hear anything else. And I was like, oh, that's just a mystery forever.

[Josh Gondelman]

I would give anything to know.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah, we heard.

[Josh Gondelman]

So we heard something recently. I feel like that was like a business guy being, like, being like, I don't care if. I don't care if they want to be home with their kids for the holidays.

[Unknown Guest]

It sounded like he was doing businessman Foley.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

He was like, if they want to be home with their kids for the holidays, they need to get the work done. It was, like, out of. Out of, like, a 90s movie about a guy who's about to meet a ghost of Christmas.

[Unknown Guest]

Meaning Bill Pullman's gonna learn a lesson.

[Josh Gondelman]

Truly. Bill Perman. The movie's called Bill Perman. Bill Pullman Learns a Lesson. Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

And he's played by Bill Paxton.

[Josh Gondelman]

He's played by Bill Paxton. And it doesn't matter.

[Unknown Guest]

That's why people are so confused.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, it was. Yeah, that was a nuts at one.

[Unknown Guest]

God, I love it. I wish I also, when you had the headphones on, just eavesdropping. I was picturing instead of connected to your phone, it's just connected to, like, one of those spy microphones.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

That little kids can buy with the.

[Josh Gondelman]

Fucking, like, with the furry on it. Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

Oh, yeah. The full, furry, like, pop, filter, whatever.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just, like, inching the thing closer to them. Just. Am I out of frame? Okay. Trying to get more of it. Yeah. I'm boom miking. The worst kind of eavesdrop.

[Unknown Guest]

I would love. I wish Broadcasting it through speakers for the rest of the show. I wish you could do. I wish that could be a podcast where, like, when people are doing. You're like, hey, would you just tell me the whole story?

[Josh Gondelman]

Tell me exactly what's going on. Yeah, actually, that's a great idea. You should start that show, Josh.

[Unknown Guest]

I would do it.

[Josh Gondelman]

You'd have a hit.

[Unknown Guest]

I don't. I'm not assertive enough. Really public. Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

You know, I think you. But that's why I think it would work for you. You would. You would sweetly be like, hey, I just. I overheard what you said. I've got a podcast. I'd love to talk to you about what was going on, if it's okay. And I think they'd be like, yes, yes. Sweet man in great shoes in a sweater. I'd like to talk to you.

[Unknown Guest]

She'd be like, I mean, that baby was really ugly. Or, the baby's beautiful. That lady was really.

[Josh Gondelman]

We'd get to the bottom of it.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

Joshua, I have a question for you.

[Unknown Guest]

Please.

[Josh Gondelman]

What's so true to you?

[Unknown Guest]

What is so true to. Oh, I. Alluded to it before, but I think that this is something really important, is that I think we're in an era where there's so much wonderful, beautiful art and so much of the worst dog shit that's ever been produced by human or computer minds.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

And it is so baffling to me how popular the second thing is.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

Where it's like, was there stuff like that? There's, like, stuff that's AI, Right? Or it's just like an old man at a birthday cake. The whole building behind him is on fire, and it has 100 candles, and it's like, it's my 40th birthday. This is all made by AI. And people like, why doesn't this ever go viral? And it just makes me want to be like, were there people doing that in, like, the 1700s? Like, it's just someone, like, scrawled an image of George Washington with huge boobs spanking King George iii, and people are like, verily, how come this never makes it to the printing press? Do you think people were just ravenous for dog shit back then, too?

[Josh Gondelman]

I don't know. I don't know. I mean, they were certainly stupid. And we're dumb. We're dumb now, too, but we're dumb in a way that's more pathetic because we have all the answers.

[Unknown Guest]

That's right.

[Josh Gondelman]

All the answers are available.

[Unknown Guest]

Yes.

[Josh Gondelman]

But people are so stupid.

[Unknown Guest]

Yes.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. It's insane.

[Unknown Guest]

We're like, people like, okay, this is A, B, or C. All of them are great options. And they're like, you're not gonna make me use the first three letters of the Alphabet.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. I do wonder if there was, like. Yeah. What the. What the, like, shit stirring political scene was, like, back before all the technology.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. Or even just, like, entertainment. Do you think, like, when Shakespeare's plays, which were, like, obviously very popular and not, like, highbrow art, do you think there was a guy with, like, way worse plays that was way more popular?

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

Where it's just like, Romeo and Juliet, and they're like, oh, well, neither of them dies, and he fingers are in the third scene.

[Josh Gondelman]

And then people are like, we love that.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah, that rules.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. That's sick. They've made 20 of them. We can't wait for the 21st. Yeah, there's 20. There's 20 Romeo fingers Juliet plays, and we're gonna go to it.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. And it's like, I just don't know. But I think there's so much. Cause people talk trash about comedy all the time they're like, oh, comedy. Ever since George Carlin died, I've stopped listening to things, so I don't think anything could. And it's like, there's so many wonderful, brilliant, diverse voices that are like, doing amazing work. The kind of stuff that like people in the 1950s, like, you watch like an old. I don't want to name names because they were doing the best they could back then before they invented good jokes. But people just would be like, my mother in law, she is a bad cook. And audiences were just like, can you believe this guy said that?

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

Just screaming and crying. And now there's so much good stuff. And people are like, no, we just want to hear jokes that were written in 1992 that people stopped saying in the early 2000s and now have gone back to saying, yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

And it's those. Yeah, the we love comedy crowd. That's one of the funny things about the right wing movement right now is they're all so like, we gotta bring back being funny. And I'm like, you haven't done it once.

[Unknown Guest]

Yes.

[Josh Gondelman]

J.D. vance being like, I don't know. To me, being a guy's just about telling jokes with your buddies. I'm like, tell one joke, you stupid, pathetic loser.

[Unknown Guest]

He's the guy that like. And I have a friend that does this and he's gonna know that I'm airing him out for this. But J.D. vance's idea of a joke is like when he walks into a room or a bar and his three friends are already there being like, what's up, ladies? And he's got the one friend that's like, who the are you talking to?

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, yeah. True. That is identically their version of like, we're bringing back joking with the boys.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah, that's right.

[Josh Gondelman]

It's like, not a joke, not interesting. You're a loser. Yeah. I just don't. I don't. I don't get the, like, their obsession with comedy, because they don't. They say they're obsessed with comedy, but I'm like, you're just actually obsessed with being mean. Yeah. Telling anything funny.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

There are so many funny and it's not. There's no formula to it. There's no craft, there's no. The jokes are never funny.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. It's just I want to be able to say a mean thing. And then when people are like, that hurts my feelings to be like, that's what I wanted.

[Josh Gondelman]

Or like, Elon Musk, too. Same thing of him being like, oh, we love comedy. And then every Single, like, comedy thing he shares is like a meme being like, when it's. When it's illegal to own the libs, but you do it anyway. And then it's like him with muscles or something. And it's like that. You like praise. That's not a joke.

[Unknown Guest]

Right. His idea. It's all this stuff that you're like, we're laughing at that we're like, I truly. There is a chance, I think this is gonna happen. This is my only political prediction, I think before this Trump presidency is over, which is like 12, 13 years from.

[Josh Gondelman]

Now, 14, 15, 16 years from now. Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

Elon Musk is gonna be at a rally and he's gonna do the Ace Ventura talking with his butt thing. I think that is a lock that's coming. I could bet on that on Fanduel. I would sign up for an account I would bet my life savings on.

[Josh Gondelman]

That's coming down the pike. Everyone get ready.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

Prepare yourself. Prepare to laugh until you cry.

[Unknown Guest]

He'll be like. And it'll be like the first. It'll be the Mark Twain Awards, and Donald Trump will be receiving it. Cause he runs the Kennedy Center. And he'll bend over and he'll be like, president Trump, may I ask you a question? It'll cricket. And they'll be like, must be a bunch of libs in here.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. I just got really sad. I know.

[Unknown Guest]

I'm sorry.

[Josh Gondelman]

No, no. It's not your fault, Josh. It's everything that's going on. The idea of him running the Kennedy center, which is happening, is so unbelievably funny and sad.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

It's unbelievably funny that he was like, I'll run it.

[Unknown Guest]

I'm the president.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. It's like, why?

[Unknown Guest]

He literally did. He literally did Bits are for everyone.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. He said, hey, Bits are for everyone. Have at it. Yeah. But they're deporting people who are citizens so bad.

[Unknown Guest]

It's so bad.

[Josh Gondelman]

Which is really not good. Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

I hate it all.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. What are we going to do, do you think? Me and you.

[Unknown Guest]

What are we going to do?

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, what are we going to do to stop stuff?

[Unknown Guest]

Well, once we get back from Taiwan.

[Josh Gondelman]

We'Re going to ride motorcycles into Taiwan until we figure something out.

[Unknown Guest]

Just you and me, shirtless, me on the back.

[Josh Gondelman]

You have on one of those, like, 1950s helmets. We're just flying. Hey, we're just over there.

[Unknown Guest]

This is what it sounds like when you're on one of those motorcycles.

[Josh Gondelman]

Come on.

[Unknown Guest]

That's not even a song.

[Josh Gondelman]

We get the idea. I go, oh, my God, Josh, we gotta go back and run.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah, yeah. We're driving this motorcycle back to D.C.

[Josh Gondelman]

So we can get on the ballot. Now, that's a movie. I'd watch things.

[Unknown Guest]

I also think things should be stupider for fun and not stupider for real.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

Like, the government is so stupid. But more movies should be about, like, two guys riding a motorcycle from Taiwan.

[Josh Gondelman]

To D.C. to get on the ballot.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah, to get on the ballot. Unclear what get on the ballot even means.

[Josh Gondelman]

Wait, dude, the election's, like, next week. Should we go to D.C. and get on the ballot?

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. Yeah, we got to get on that ballot.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. It's a dumb and dumber road trip to get on the ballot.

[Unknown Guest]

My favorite. I love how. I love how, like, anytime you have a meeting, right. For this maybe is too inside baseball, but any kind of entertainment meeting. The notes that they give you are so suffocating. They're like, we just don't see this going 13 seasons. Nothing goes 13 seasons.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

Yeah. That's why we're not making this. And then, like, in the 70s, 80s, 90s, the movie premises are like, what if a dog was the prime minister of Canada?

[Josh Gondelman]

And they're like, how's 12 million? Can you do it for 12? Which in today's money is $113 million.

[Unknown Guest]

That guy wrote the one script he retired. He lives in the top of Mount Everest.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yes. In a mansion that cost $28 billion. He paid for it with residuals, by the way. We used to have something called residuals.

[Unknown Guest]

He. His back end was so good. They're like, if anyone goes to see, we'll give you 75 of the profits. Grossed a billion dollars. 81. Money.

[Josh Gondelman]

And he's chilling. He's chilling.

[Unknown Guest]

God, I'm so jealous.

[Josh Gondelman]

Josh, I have a segment for you.

[Unknown Guest]

Please.

[Josh Gondelman]

This is the true false segment. I'm Gonna read you 15 statements, okay? You tell me as quickly as you can. If you do the true or false.

[Unknown Guest]

Okay.

[Josh Gondelman]

If you get 10 or more correct, I'm gonna give you 50 US dollars.

[Unknown Guest]

Okay?

[Josh Gondelman]

Okay. It's kind of huge. Okay, here we go. You ready? Hens do not need a rooster to lay an egg.

[Unknown Guest]

True.

[Josh Gondelman]

True. Boston is named after a town in Ireland.

[Unknown Guest]

True.

[Josh Gondelman]

False. England. Hawaii is the only US State to never report a temperature of zero.

[Unknown Guest]

False.

[Josh Gondelman]

True. The tongue is the fastest healing part of the human body.

[Unknown Guest]

False.

[Josh Gondelman]

True. An alligator can go through 3,000 teeth in a lifetime, like, eating them.

[Unknown Guest]

True.

[Josh Gondelman]

True. McDonald's is older than White Castle.

[Unknown Guest]

False.

[Josh Gondelman]

False. The fig Newton is Named after Isaac Newton. False. False. Newton, Massachusetts.

[Unknown Guest]

Hell, yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

Let's go.

[Unknown Guest]

That's right.

[Josh Gondelman]

A suction cup will not work in outer space.

[Unknown Guest]

False.

[Josh Gondelman]

True. A pearl can be dissolved in vinegar.

[Unknown Guest]

A pearl can be dissolved in vinegar.

[Josh Gondelman]

True. True. The average raindrop takes an hour to hit the ground.

[Unknown Guest]

Huh? False.

[Josh Gondelman]

False. Two minutes. Harvard was the first university in North America.

[Unknown Guest]

False.

[Josh Gondelman]

True.

[Unknown Guest]

Ooh.

[Josh Gondelman]

Stoneham High School does not have a hockey team.

[Unknown Guest]

False.

[Josh Gondelman]

False. Seinfeld first aired in 1989.

[Unknown Guest]

True.

[Josh Gondelman]

True. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

[Unknown Guest]

True.

[Josh Gondelman]

True. Carrots are technically a fruit.

[Unknown Guest]

False.

[Josh Gondelman]

False. How do you do 10? Whoa, whoa. Let's go. This is huge, Josh.

[Unknown Guest]

Wow. I feel amazing.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. And you did amazing.

[Unknown Guest]

Thank you.

[Josh Gondelman]

Ten's hard.

[Unknown Guest]

Ten. I was worried I blew a couple easy ones.

[Josh Gondelman]

You did well. There was a little. There was a run there where I was worried about you.

[Unknown Guest]

And then I really came back.

[Josh Gondelman]

You came back in historic fashion.

[Unknown Guest]

I go to the ballot, and that's.

[Josh Gondelman]

The city of Boston, baby. Woo. That's Boston blood.

[Unknown Guest]

We were down 30 to the Yankees, 2004.

[Josh Gondelman]

And then, lo and behold, Kennedy, low and bold.

[Unknown Guest]

I feel like that's. I love the guy that, like, oh, Boston accent. And it's just Kennedy.

[Josh Gondelman]

Ask not what Josh can do for his country. What the country can do for Josh. Josh, anything you want to leave the people with, where to follow you, what you're up to.

[Unknown Guest]

Oh, my gosh. Yeah. I'm Oshgondelman on social media. I'm Instagram and TikTok and BlueSky now, and I have a newsletter called that's Marvelous that I write every Monday, and it's free and it's full of pep talks and jokes, and it lets people know where to find me. And I'll have the information for my new special there soon, hopefully.

[Josh Gondelman]

Hell, yeah.

[Unknown Guest]

I would really like for people to watch it.

[Josh Gondelman]

We just love you, Josh.

[Unknown Guest]

Thank you so much for having me. This was so much fun.

[Josh Gondelman]

Thanks for being here. Of course.

[Unknown Guest]

My pleasure.

[Josh Gondelman]

Josh Conelman. We did it.

[Unknown Guest]

That was a Headgum podcast.

[Josh Gondelman]

Hey, I'm Wayne Brady.

[Unknown Guest]

And I'm Jonathan Mangum.

[Josh Gondelman]

And we're two big improv nerds who get a chance to play and make.

[Unknown Guest]

Stuff up on shows like Whose Line Is It Anyway?

[Josh Gondelman]

Or let's Make a Deal. And we're now hosting a new improvised.

[Unknown Guest]

Show called what if on the Headgum Podcast Network.

[Josh Gondelman]

And on what if, we believe that improvisation is a conversation.

[Unknown Guest]

So we get to have conversations with.

[Josh Gondelman]

Guests from the worlds of tv, film, tech, and literature. Guests like Bobby Moynihan Aisha Tyler, LeVar.

[Unknown Guest]

Burton, and Adam Conover.

[Josh Gondelman]

We asked them the big, ridiculous questions.

[Unknown Guest]

Like, what if you hurt a monkey's feelings?

[Josh Gondelman]

What if your grandma was a secret agent? What if Jonathan was invited to the cookout? I'm not.

[Unknown Guest]

And then we turn the conversation into spontaneous scenes, songs. Well, because that's what we do. Subscribe to what if on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Cast, wherever you get your podcasts.

[Josh Gondelman]

And watch episodes on YouTube. No script, no net, just what if.