Laura Peek Wants to Collab

Summary

Podcast Summary: So True with Caleb Hearon – Episode: "Laura Peek Wants to Collab"

Release Date: March 6, 2025

In this engaging episode of So True with Caleb Hearon, host Caleb Hearon teams up with guest Laura Peek to delve deep into personal relationships, sexuality, political anxieties, and the challenges of maintaining authenticity in a tumultuous social landscape. Their candid and humorous dialogue offers listeners a blend of introspection and sharp social commentary, peppered with memorable quotes and relatable anecdotes.

---

1. Navigating Complex Relationships and Sexuality

Caleb and Laura kick off the episode by exploring the intricacies of bisexuality and the societal perceptions surrounding it. Laura opens up about her marriage to a conservative, straight man and her internal struggles with her sexuality.

• Laura: "I was just gonna ask... Would you mind if I... did that sometimes?" (04:34)

Their conversation touches on the stigma of bisexuality, with Caleb highlighting the challenges of balancing personal desires with societal expectations.

• Caleb: "The fact that you don't think that's cheating is homophobic." (05:08)

This segment underscores the difficulties faced by individuals navigating non-traditional relationships, emphasizing the importance of understanding and acceptance.

---

2. Reflections on Popular Culture and Personal Idols

The duo takes a nostalgic turn, reminiscing about the Coyote Ugly soundtrack and the impact of artists like LeAnn Rimes on their lives.

• Laura: "She put her hugussy into that soundtrack. LeAnn Rimes." (02:27)

Their playful banter about music serves as a gateway to deeper discussions about fame, personal admiration, and the influence of pop culture icons.

---

3. Political Climate and the Future of LGBTQ+ Rights

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to their apprehensions about the worsening political climate and its potential repercussions on the LGBTQ+ community.

• Caleb: "Things are getting bad for gay again soon. And when they do, I'm going down with the ship." (15:11)

They speculate on the possibility of increased persecution, referencing tools like Grindr and societal attitudes that may become hostile. The conversation delves into fears of regression in LGBTQ+ rights and the resilience needed to combat such challenges.

• Laura: "They are trying to drum up the base and they're getting... making it so exciting for all these misguided people." (40:14)

Their dialogue highlights a sense of urgency and the need for proactive measures to protect and advance LGBTQ+ rights amidst rising political tensions.

---

4. The Struggle for Authenticity in Comedy and Art

Caleb and Laura discuss the evolving nature of comedy as an art form, questioning how comedians maintain their authenticity and political stances in a commercialized environment.

• Laura: "If I am feeling badly about myself comedically, I will go and watch that Apollo set." (57:03)

They critique the commercialization of comedy, lamenting how success often forces artists to compromise their values for broader acceptance and financial gain.

• Caleb: "Nobody gets to come out scot free under capitalism." (72:31)

This segment serves as a critique of the entertainment industry's influence on personal integrity, emphasizing the balance between financial stability and creative freedom.

---

5. Personal Anecdotes and Daily Struggles

Interwoven throughout the episode are personal stories that illustrate the hosts' daily challenges, from dealing with online harassment to managing relationships under societal pressures.

• Caleb: "I've never had a better time in my entire life. It's insane." (29:50)

These anecdotes provide a raw and unfiltered look into their lives, making the conversation relatable for listeners facing similar struggles in maintaining personal and professional relationships.

---

6. Hope and Resilience Amidst Chaos

Despite the heavy topics, Caleb and Laura infuse the conversation with moments of hope and strategies for coping with overwhelming societal changes.

• Laura: "I'm being very forgiving of myself. I'm a very shameful guy, guilt-ridden person." (65:18)

They advocate for finding joy and maintaining personal well-being as acts of resistance against oppressive societal structures.

• Caleb: "Finding something to work on to help find something to work on." (66:19)

This optimistic outlook encourages listeners to focus on personal growth and community support as means to navigate and overcome societal upheavals.

---

Notable Quotes

• Caleb: "I say it so much that one... something happened." (00:58)
• Laura: "He wrote, 'somebody drain those milkers before they rupture.'" (54:15)
• Caleb: "I'm all in on gay." (17:35)
• Laura: "Do you think the listeners will like it?" (82:07)

---

Conclusion

In "Laura Peek Wants to Collab," So True with Caleb Hearon offers a thought-provoking and humorous exploration of personal and political issues impacting the LGBTQ+ community. Through honest dialogue and shared experiences, Caleb and Laura provide listeners with both contemplation and laughter, navigating the fine line between personal struggles and broader societal challenges. This episode stands out as a testament to the power of authentic conversation in times of uncertainty.

---

Timestamps Reference

<a name="timestamp"></a> For detailed quotes and their corresponding timestamps, refer to the inline citations above.

Transcript

[A]

This is a headgum podcast. This is a mini meditation guided by Bombus. Repeat after me. I'm comfy. I'm cozy. Cozy. I have zero blisters on my toes. Blisters. And that's because I wear Bombus. The softest socks, underwear, and T shirts that give back. One purchased equals one donated. Now go to bombas.com wondery and use code wondery for 20% off your first purchase. That's B O M b-a-.com wondery and use code wondery at checkout.

[B]

We gotta have fun. Someone referred to my birthday party as. I can't remember the exact wording, but somebody said it felt like the kind of party that you can only have right before freedom ends.

[A]

I am walking around my house 100% of the time saying, I'll shoot you with a gun.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

I say it. I say it so much that one.

[B]

Really caught on, huh?

[A]

Something happened. Something happened. Well, it was just like, the simplest.

[B]

Like, well, we're violent.

[A]

Yeah. Getting violent.

[B]

We're a violent people.

[A]

Yes. Comedians. Sweet comedians.

[B]

Humans. Humans are a violent species.

[A]

They're like, shoot somebody with a gun.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, I love that.

[A]

Don't mind if I do.

[B]

What a nasty little. What a nasty little thing for me to say and for people to enjoy.

[A]

Well, all I do all day is just field, like, the worst. You know, just people saying the worst possible things to you all day, every day. And you're, like. You're trying to be. You're trying to be, like, creative and clever, getting back to them, or you're trying to convince yourself that it, like, doesn't bother you. I'll shoot you with a gun.

[B]

Yeah, pretty much.

[A]

Unbelievable. Unimpeachable.

[B]

Pretty much so good. Unimpeakable. You should use that.

[A]

Unbeatable.

[B]

She's unbepeakable.

[A]

Like that, dude.

[B]

The Coyote Ugly soundtrack. Let's talk about that.

[A]

Goes hard. Goes really hard. Let's finally get it.

[B]

Let's talk about that, honey.

[A]

Goes so hard Goes so hard under.

[B]

The night sky Gonna be me and no one's gonna be around oh, oh, baby. Coyote Ugly. Leann Rimes.

[A]

Oh, my God, I miss her.

[B]

Leann Rimes.

[A]

Where's she at?

[B]

Leannes? Leanne.

[A]

Girl, where are you, girl?

[B]

What she did on the Coyote Hugly soundtrack.

[A]

Hugly.

[B]

The Coyote DL Hughley soundtrack. I was just about to say it.

[A]

I was just about to say it. I'm so mad that you did it. I'm so mad that you did it. I go, 100%. We're getting there at exactly the same time. He's gonna beat me by a millisecond. Put her fucking boot into that hugussy.

[B]

She put her hugussy into that. Her coyote.

[A]

Just a beautiful gentleman from the wild West.

[B]

Her coyotesy ugly into that soundtrack. Leann Rimes. Leann Rimes.

[A]

Where are you, girl?

[B]

Leann Rimes. Hold on. Let's get a clean one of both of us saying it.

[A]

1, 2, 3.

[B]

Leanne Rimes. I mean. Cause who's talking about it?

[A]

Do you remember? So you're a little country girl like me. Do you remember. What was her name? Trisha Yearwood.

[B]

Do I remember Trisha Yearwood.

[A]

Okay. Massively important to me as a child. I remember in first grade, they made us. They were like, what's your favorite musical artist? And they would, like, write it down for us. We couldn't write yet. We were stupid.

[B]

Yeah. Now you know her and G. Brooks cheated.

[A]

Yes, dude. I Now. But I now know about all the lore. And I was obsessed with her. My mom was too. On a. On a bus to St. Cloud, Minnesota. Do you remember that?

[B]

They cheated. They were cheaters. How you feel about cheating?

[A]

I love it.

[B]

You and your husband. Closed.

[A]

Totally closed. Closed tight.

[B]

Yeah. You're randomly very conservative.

[A]

I'm super. I'm really far right. I'm really far right. I hope to be your most far right guest. Well, I. Famously. Now. I. Okay. I don't want to get into bisexuality with you because I know how you feel about it, but.

[B]

No, it's not true, Laura. It's not true.

[A]

You know what?

[B]

You've heard wrong. I want to tell you. And bisexual. Can I say something about bisexual, please? It is real.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

It is valid. I love it.

[A]

I love hearing about it.

[B]

I believe in it. Leanne Rhymes.

[A]

Leanne Rhoims.

[B]

I love bi.

[A]

Okay, but so what is your. So I used to pork a lot of women back in the day.

[B]

Wound up with a man, though.

[A]

And I wound up with a man.

[B]

Which is part of it.

[A]

It's like 100% of the thing, isn't it, that eventually I do.

[B]

You're not allowed to say that.

[A]

He. I. He. I'm finally cleared to. To talk about this publicly, and I'm excited about it. But I did have, like, a dream about having sex with a woman, like, a few months ago, and I woke up from it, and I was just like, you know what? I'm. I'm just gonna do. I'm just gonna ask. I'm just gonna ask.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I was like, would you Mind if I, like, did that sometimes? And he was like, oh, do you mean have affairs with women? And I said. I said, no worries, no worries. And he said sentence to me that I'm never going to forget. He goes, the fact that you don't think that's cheating is homophobic.

[B]

I'm loving him.

[A]

He's so smart.

[B]

I'm loving.

[A]

He's so smart. It's the most big brain I've ever heard in my entire life. I've been trying. Listen, I'm not running bets on you, but I've been trying it on stage, and sometimes it doesn't hit. And I'm like, you don't. He had to teach me that women are people. I'm falling asleep. I'm like, boobs, butts. He's like, those women have personal histories.

[B]

You don't mind if I. A couple of these.

[A]

These absolute hoes on here.

[B]

Feelings are just collateral damage. And my quest. You don't mind, do you?

[A]

And you know that and I know that you don't mind. Right? You said, hey, hey, honey, that's. You're actually not coming from.

[B]

They're more than just tits and curves, my friend. Those are human beings.

[A]

He broke my fucking brain with it. And he's so right. Yeah, he's too smart. He's too smart. That's the thing. You can't pull one over on this.

[B]

It was brave of you to tell that story because you come off really bad in it.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I'm 100% the bad guy. I'm 100% the bad Guy. And I'm straight.

[B]

Straight.

[A]

Is he first ever conservative, straight villain? Yeah, he's straight.

[B]

Your straight husband has to teach you about women having feelings and agency. And agency.

[A]

He's like, you don't get to just go have sex with. He was like, that's a choice they're making. They have personalities.

[B]

Yeah, they have personalities. So I hadn't considered that. Women have personalities.

[A]

Have you thought about that, ever? Whoa. It was news to me.

[B]

No opposite. I only consider women as having personalities. When I find out they have sex desires, I'm like, whoa.

[A]

They're just kind of an amorphous mist to you that have a lot of opinions, no physicality.

[B]

Women to me are a warm, glowing light in the corner of every room.

[A]

God, that's beautiful.

[B]

They guide me through this dark time we call existence.

[A]

But always the corner, though.

[B]

But then when I find out they have a physical body that has sexual desires, I go, leanne Royce.

[A]

Leann Royce. And you know, a woman With a physical body.

[B]

She has a physical body. Ha, cha cha. Does she ever nurse? Yeah. Need her. We're lusting after who?

[A]

I need her like water, bread like ring.

[B]

Don't say her name. Normal in here, you know? Leanne Rhymes.

[A]

You even did it then. You went, rhymes.

[B]

Rhymes. She did something so special with the Coyote Ugly soundtrack.

[A]

I mean, I'm really. I've been impressed with that for years. And it was on the. Yeah. I shouldn't be.

[B]

I can't fight the moonlight and I won't even try.

[A]

I tried when I was younger.

[B]

I tried to fight the moonlight, and guess what didn't take.

[A]

Also, that woman was, like, 12 when she made that. Like, she was so young for so.

[B]

Long, deep into her 20s, I think.

[A]

Was she really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Why is she, like, a cherubic? Why is she perpetually, like, 19 to me? I have no idea.

[B]

Huh.

[A]

That's because I don't care about women and their stories.

[B]

You don't like women? I'm kind of glad you ended up with a man, because you seem to have a lot of reverence for him.

[A]

He's a doll.

[B]

I fear what you might have done to a lesbian.

[A]

To a sweet, good lesbian.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know. I think it was never meant to be.

[B]

How'd you end up with a guy anyhow? Well, somebody with your countenance, somebody with your whole situation, you ended up with a guy.

[A]

This is not the first I've thought about it.

[B]

No.

[A]

I've known him since I was 15 years old.

[B]

Oh, boo.

[A]

I know. Doesn't suck. We started dating at 25, but we were good friends for, like, 10 years.

[B]

Nice. Good friends. Like, had you ever.

[A]

I was just pining. You were pining? For years.

[B]

Really? And was he pining?

[A]

No.

[B]

No, he was not pining.

[A]

He didn't seem to be. And I. I mean, I. I think about it all the time, but, like, I truly was, like, I will just never tell him if it means that he'll be my friend because I love him. And then.

[B]

Been there.

[A]

And then one time we got really drunk and he was like, you want to. And I was like, yeah. And then it's been great ever since.

[B]

Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

[A]

Wait a second. Really?

[B]

Hold on. You guys are friends at 15?

[A]

15?

[B]

Yeah, for 10 years.

[A]

10 years.

[B]

You take the coward's way out.

[A]

That's right. Well, it was. It was about four years, I would say, of me being in love with him. We went to the University of Tennessee, Knoxville together. I really fell in love with him.

[B]

Go Vols.

[A]

Yes. Go Balls. For.

[B]

And you, for four years, you carry a flame for this young man.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

And you say nothing of it?

[A]

Nothing.

[B]

Because you think being a heartbroken friend is better than being.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, excommunicated for my deep feelings. Yeah.

[A]

I get, like, being down bad was better. Better in some way.

[B]

Being down bad was better.

[A]

Yeah. Than being out for good, Being up for Jesus.

[B]

Go. False. And so then you make no moves.

[A]

I make no moves.

[B]

You exist as a coward for four years.

[A]

Total coward. Also, by the way, dating other people, pretending to love other people was just like, absolutely head over heels.

[B]

Pretending to love other people.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Most of them men or women. Yikes. So you are playing with the emotions of several women while you wait for this man to see you in the right light or something. What was the plan?

[A]

I had a party where I had, like. Has some blush on.

[B]

Yeah. And then you still say nothing. You both get drunk, which is inappropriate, of course.

[A]

In college especially.

[B]

And then he says, should we fuck?

[A]

He did not say, should we fuck? That was certainly the subtext.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He just kind of looked upon me. I'll do it to the camera.

[B]

Go ahead. You're him and the camera's you. That does not to me. To me, that doesn't end in sex.

[A]

I don't think it's a restraining order, maybe.

[B]

Yeah. You go, no, he said it with his eyes. And he's doing, like, the freeze frame from a Debbie Downer sketch.

[A]

He absolutely did not say, do you want to fuck? But it was like, I feel a certain level of attraction all of a sudden. I said, me too.

[B]

He said that it was something.

[A]

It was. It really was something along.

[B]

You're not painting him in any clear or good light. He.

[A]

Okay, I. I true.

[B]

I. I feel a certain level of attraction.

[A]

He's a cyborg.

[B]

Sounds good.

[A]

Jeffrey Dahmer.

[B]

Yeah. What the fuck?

[A]

Something has aroused me suddenly.

[B]

Laura, I hate to alarm thee, but I've just been overcome by an emotion that is quite foreign to one in my life. Can I cross the bridge or not?

[A]

I love you, by the way. No. He said something that at the time sounded romantic, but I don't remember it was. And then it would just broke down this barrier, and we've been together ever since.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Did you ever. When you were still going on dates with people? Some of us are still in hell.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Did you ever, like, after a really good first date, be like, I'm gonna remember everything about this? Because it's the beginning of a big story.

[A]

Yeah. Actually.

[B]

You ever do that, like, catalog?

[A]

Yes, Yes, I have.

[B]

Be like. Be like. Yeah. It's important that I remember what corner we kissed at, because that's gonna be the corner we have to take our wedding picture.

[A]

Where he's gonna get. Yeah. Where he's gonna propose.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And this is such a. It's odd. It's a corner, because it's a real turning point in my life.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I would romanticize. You're romantic. You're a romantic. That's what I do that with everybody.

[B]

I am a romantic. You are, are you?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Nice. I think, just for this one guy, though.

[A]

Yeah. I don't know. I'm pretty locked in, except for wanting to have sex with lesbians or whatever.

[B]

Well, by the way, can I say, both of you are homophobic because you. You are homophobic because you fail to consider women have personhood. And he's homophobic because he's not going to allow you to sleep with women.

[A]

I did. I did talk to him about it. I was like, I do think I married the one straight man in the world who's like, no, I don't. That doesn't really appeal to me in any way.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what I mean? He's like. He can't even be, like, hot.

[B]

Why don't you say yes and then stroke off about it? Free.

[A]

Yes, stroke off. Stroke off about it, you little freak.

[B]

Why don't you say yes and then jerk your shit thinking about it, you fucking psychopath.

[A]

Some things have risen in my. You are a romantic, though.

[B]

I am.

[A]

Are you like, are you? Are you. You're not like, a serial dater, are you? Are you in relationships oft.

[B]

I am a. I am a many times scorned lover boy. I was sent to earth. Here's what I think. Here's what I think. I think I was an angel in heaven.

[A]

That I think you're still.

[B]

That I think God created me and I was an angel in heaven. And then I fell from grace through circumstances that were not my own fault 100%. And I ended up behaving devilishly. And then God said, to teach you a lesson, I'm gonna send you to earth with so much love to give. And you are going to encounter the type of gay men who are sent from the devil who make you hate yourself to scorch the earth. And so I'm a crestfallen lover boy.

[A]

Oh, that's beautiful.

[B]

Sent down from heaven to partake in a punishment.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And that's what's my dating life?

[A]

I'm a crest faller. I'm a crestfallen lover boy.

[B]

That's beautiful. I'm a fallen from grace lover boy. Forced to mingle with these heathens.

[A]

Yes. And he said, I'm gonna give you more love than you've ever known, than anyone's ever known what to do with.

[B]

Yeah. And he said, by the way, I'm not gonna send you back to earth during a time when gay men were pining for each other in silence and sharing beds at war and writing each other letters when they're kissing maybe once at the end of their lives. I'm not gonna give you that. I'm gonna send you to a time that has an application called Grindr.

[A]

And you're gonna have to be on it.

[B]

You're gonna have it.

[A]

You're gonna have to be on it.

[B]

You're gonna be receiving taps, and you're gonna be sending taps.

[A]

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

[B]

And you're gonna be sleeping with guys who you may not even like.

[A]

No. As people. And they don't like you.

[B]

Some of name. And some of them you will not.

[A]

That's so true.

[B]

I'm a crestfallen.

[A]

You're a crestfallen lover boy. In the wrong time of gayness, in.

[B]

The wrong time of gayness, in the wrong era of gayness, I was meant to be persecuted. I was. I'm not going to lie to you. When the idea of gay persecution, which is, like, really palpable right now. Right. It kind of feels like they're going to do it again.

[A]

Yeah, it's coming. It's coming.

[B]

I'm a little like, ooh. I'm a little like, I'm going to be good at it.

[A]

I'm going to shine in this moment.

[B]

Yeah. I'm going to be good at being persecuted. I'm gonna be really good at being person.

[A]

I believe that. I believe that. What do you think your strong responses are gonna be?

[B]

Well, I'm gonna go down with this ship.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I will go down with this ship.

[A]

And what does she say right there? I won't porcupine up and remember and surrender and remember. I won't porcupine up and remember.

[B]

There will be no white flag above my door.

[A]

Leanne Rhymes, she's in love.

[B]

She's on the beat. Look, if they persecute gay people, I'm going down with the ship. 100 know gay people who, when it comes, they will. They will pretend that they have become straight again.

[A]

Yeah. They'll go Back in the closet.

[B]

They'll definitely. I can already see some people hedging some bets.

[A]

Really? Really?

[B]

Oh, yeah. Cowards all. Cowards all. They will. They will bury me as a gay man.

[A]

Oh, my. And good for you for that.

[B]

They will take me down.

[A]

You really see that, though, when. When the. When the going gets tough, you're like, I see some of my folks going back in the.

[B]

For sure.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

For sure.

[A]

Which, you know, I don't. Man. I can't blame people.

[B]

I can.

[A]

Okay. You can. You absolutely can. I can.

[B]

No. When things get bad for gay again.

[A]

For gay.

[B]

Probably what, this summer or fall.

[A]

I think we're close. I think we're like eight. Eight, like eight months out. Maybe a cool eight months out.

[B]

Things are getting bad for gay again soon. And when they do, I'm going down with the ship.

[A]

Good for you.

[B]

They're going to say. They're going to. They're going to give everyone a chance. I bet they're going to say, if you want to repent and go to straight, come on over. I'll go, no, no.

[A]

I gay.

[B]

Kill me.

[A]

You'll have to kill me before I not gay. Kill me.

[B]

No, I'm doing gay.

[A]

I'm dying.

[B]

I'm all in on gay.

[A]

I'm so happy that that's the case.

[B]

I'm all in on gay also.

[A]

I do love you. I am.

[B]

This is me. Table full of chips. I'm in on gay. Okay, run it. 52 black. Spin the fucking thing. I'm in on gay. I'm in on gay.

[A]

That's so beautiful and true. And I love that you gave a realistic timeline.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Cause some people are out here being like, we've got like a year and a half. I'm like, I don't know.

[B]

By the time the leaves change again, it'll be bad for gay.

[A]

By the time we reach May. Bad for gay.

[B]

Bad for gay. And guess what I'll be doing? Dancing with my friends right up until they take me away. I'll be dancing with my friends when they put the cuffs on.

[A]

They had to round Caleb up. He was having the time of his life.

[B]

I'll be smoking a joint at dinner with my friends. When they cuff me, There will be no white flag above my door. They're pulling me out of a Chili's. It's a gay away.

[A]

Thank God. Thank God they're taking gay away in the first place. They're coming.

[B]

Well, that'll be the last place they come. They'll have gathered all the other gays and they'll say, where are the fat ones?

[A]

Where are the Chili's?

[B]

They'll say, where are the fat ones? Because we'll need to send extra team. And when they come for gay at Chili's, it'll be me and 17 lesbians.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

And it'll take a whole team. They'll have to use tranq darts.

[A]

Yep. So many drinks on the table that are blue.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, the ends of, like, a. Like a fishbowl situation, you guys.

[B]

After they tranquil me, I'll pass out in a skillet queso. They'll have to drag me out of there. But God, will I have lived.

[A]

Oh, I love it. I love it. Apparently, when it gets bad for gay.

[B]

I'm going down with it, sister.

[A]

I couldn't be prouder.

[B]

What will you do in the revolution?

[A]

I love. Listen, you be.

[B]

What's your role?

[A]

You be. I. Here's my goal for this year.

[B]

Say it.

[A]

I don't want to. I never want to try to lose weight ever again in my life. What I do want to do is have jacked arms.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

That's my goal for the next, like, six months. I want to get, like, traps, and I want to get really good definition in my arms. And that's scary when you see a lady with, like, a tank top on and like that. And then I'll go back to Tennessee and, like, get the guns that I have there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'll do what I can for my people out here.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'll travel across state lines.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'll come and stand in the resistance. Yeah, I guess. Or I'll be at Chili's with you.

[B]

Yeah. I'm not really gonna take up arms. I'll let them take me from Chili's. I'm not really gonna get a weapon. I'm like, I don't want to go down enough. I'll just, like, take me to the camp or whatever.

[A]

It's so funny that, like, everybody's dream of armed resistance. It's like, that's so funny. All my friends in the South, I'm like, you're done.

[B]

Yeah. You're.

[A]

There's nothing. There's nothing you can do. Don't. You don't have to have a handgun.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I kind of want one now. I don't know what it is. Something. Something's happening in me.

[B]

Well, I could tell you what it is if you want me to.

[A]

Please.

[B]

It's. Yeah. It's an understanding of the moment that we're in.

[A]

I'm so Scary. What am I going to do with it?

[B]

Can I say something?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I feel happier than ever.

[A]

Oh, my God. Do you really?

[B]

I really do.

[A]

Okay. Okay.

[B]

I really do.

[A]

Something is happening. Tell me. Tell me if this is how you feel.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I've been experiencing the same thing where I've been experiencing, like, sort of an unbridled joy that I haven't had in a long time. And I think it's like. I think it's like a big time. Like, fuck it. Like, I'm not trying to fix myself anymore. That's insane. I'm just gonna have a good time with my buddies.

[B]

The masks are off.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

There's clans, there's clan meetings in the town, Squ everywhere. Everyone's a Nazi. Yeah. Elon Musk is in charge of the treasury or something.

[A]

He's got my Social Security number.

[B]

RFK doesn't believe in vaccines. We're going to have him do Health and Human Services. They're going to have a fucking wrestling wife. Do the Department of ED for a week. And then they're going to shut it down.

[A]

And they're going to shut it down. And they're not giving passports to certain.

[B]

Kinds of people anymore. They're turning Guantanamo Bay into a concentration camp.

[A]

You're going to tell me that I'm supposed to be all sad. I'm going to have a little bit of fun.

[B]

Someone play the new Lady Gaga track. Someone play Abracadabra.

[A]

Would you please take this?

[B]

I'm happy, I'm scared, but by God, am I dancing.

[A]

Do you find yourself okay? I'm dancing. I'm dancing.

[B]

I'm dancing.

[A]

I'm doing a little drugs on the weekends, like old times. I'm like belly laughing a lot.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

My friends are making me laugh a lot.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

God's honor.

[B]

I'm laughing about it. I'm laughing in the face of all of it.

[A]

I know I'm feeling the same thing.

[B]

Well, I'm horrified, but I'm just like, we gotta have fun. I know we gotta have fun. Someone referred to my birthday party as. I can't remember the exact wording, but somebody said it felt like the kind of party that you can only have right before freedom ends. And I thought, it does.

[A]

That's beautiful. Freedom reached its climax at your birthday party. That was the freest anyone's ever been.

[B]

Right on the precipice of fascism. And I think, good golly, let's have some fun with it.

[A]

That's so funny.

[B]

Good night. Can we have a good time?

[A]

I'M putting in. I'm putting in Coyote Ugly into the CD ROM player.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I'm going and having drinks with my friends and dancing.

[B]

There's a tank rolling down my street. And guess what? I'm in my house like this.

[A]

It's Taniman Square, but it's just you, Dan. Oh, no.

[B]

Yeah, I'm having fun. I am happy. I am randomly happy. I am soberly aware of how bad the political climate is 100% every day. Know that it's bad and getting worse. And, you know, I think there is something to be said about. Look, I'm doing my part. I'm doing what I can. I'm sharing things. I'm donating things.

[A]

Right? Giving money.

[B]

I'm take. I'm doing what I can. But I will have fun on the way out.

[A]

1,000%, I will. And you know what? I don't think many people are putting words to this, but I think a lot of people are feeling that.

[B]

I think they're feeling it. And can I tell you something? When they put all the gay guys in a camp for a couple weeks.

[A]

Gonna be fun.

[B]

Gonna be fun. Gonna be fun. Gonna be fun. The shower sex at the gay camp.

[A]

Shower sex at the gay camp. When everything's going to hell. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, Sorry. Cause, yeah, I guess it's gonna be. And it's not just gonna be. I'm not gonna cry because it's not just gonna be shower sex. It's gonna be like, we might not get to do this tomorrow ever again sex. Yeah.

[A]

Ever again sex.

[B]

Might be the last time I come.

[A]

Oh, my God. You know those. You know, the. What are they called?

[B]

Good night.

[A]

What is it in Pompeii? Those skeletons that are, like, hugging each other like rubble. It's just you and 80k guys in the shower.

[B]

Yeah. Yes. A chorus line.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

A chorus line of fucking.

[A]

For a couple weeks. For a couple weeks.

[B]

For a couple weeks. The camp's gonna be a key. And then obviously, I envision it will get dark.

[A]

I think things will probably get dark. Oh, at the camps? Yeah. I think it might get.

[B]

Yes. Once they decide to go there, I imagine, yes, it'll get dark, but boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, you and another.

[A]

Guy talking at the camp. I do imagine that at some point this will get dark.

[B]

Well, it's good. I'm gonna know all of them. You know what I mean? I know, like, every gay guy.

[A]

Is that how it is? Justin, this is about to get bad.

[B]

Justin, this is gonna get dark. But in the meantime, I Know a place where there's no cameras? I know a place.

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

I know a place we can go. Come on.

[A]

Okay, but where are. Because you're not an LA boy anymore.

[B]

No, ma'am.

[A]

I want to live in New York City so. Bad move. I know.

[B]

What are you doing?

[A]

I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I'm doing. I. Well, I was supposed. I was there when you were there. I was supposed to be at your damn party and I.

[B]

Why didn't you come?

[A]

I had shows that ran really, really late and then I went to sleep.

[B]

Yeah, the shows didn't run until 4am.

[A]

I'm guessing, but did your party go until 4am?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No one was texting me back.

[B]

Who?

[A]

CG.

[B]

She's a fake dumb bitch.

[A]

She didn't text you back because he's a fake dumb bitch who doesn't like you.

[B]

It's a chicken in an egg situation. Did she not text back because she's a fake dumb. Is she a fake dumb bitch because she didn't text back? Either way, all things the same. When your car breaks down, you take it to a mechanic with no hesitation. You need it. And it's not something most guys can fix themselves. And people should think the exact same way about evil. But the reality is you might be hesitant to seek help. Thankfully, through hims, you can get access to personalized ED treatment without stepping outside your door. HIMS is changing the healthcare industry by providing you with access to affordable sexual health treatments from the comfort of your couch. HIMS provides access to a range of doctor trusted ED treatments like Chewable Hard Mints and Viagra and Cialis and their generics for up to 95% cheaper. The process is 100% online, so there's no need for uncomfortable doctor's visits. Just answer a series of questions on their site and a medical provider will determine the right treatment option. If prescribed, your medication ships directly to you for free. No insurance is needed and one low price covers everything from treatments to ongoing care. With hundreds of thousands of trusted subscribers, HIMS can help you find the ED option that works for you. Start your free online Visit [e-mail] SoTrue that's H I M S.com SoTrue for your personalized ED treatment options. Hiss.com so true. The products mentioned are chewable compounded products which are not approved by or verified for safety or effectiveness by the fda. Prescriptions require an online consultation with a healthcare provider who will determine if appropriate restrictions apply. See website for details and important safety information. Subscription required Prices Very Prices very Price varies based on product and subscription plan.

[A]

Nailed it.

[B]

Elevating my style used to mean breaking the bank, but with Quints I get high end versatile pieces at prices I can actually afford. Now I can upgrade my style by snagging killer luxury essentials that sync with my vibe and wallet. Quint has all the must haves like Mongolian cashmere crew neck sweaters from $50 and those are usually like $100 million or something iconic 100% leather jackets and versatile flowknit activewear. The best part? All Quint's Items are priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. By partnering directly with top factories, Quint cuts out the cost of the middleman. Get him out of here and passes the savings on to us, me and you. The so true Family and Quints only works with factories that use safe, ethical and responsible manufacturing practices along with premium fabrics and finishes. I love that. I ordered some of the Merino crew socks and let me tell you something, I cannot stop wearing them. I wear them all over my house. Okay? I wear them when I sleep. I just can't get enough of the snug and warm feeling they give me. Whether I'm walking to dinner with a friend or kicking my feet up on the couch, getting ready for an evening and watching my favorite shows and programs and content, Indulge in affordable luxury. Go to quince.com SOTrue for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q U-I-N-C-E.com SOTrue to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com SOTrue this podcast is sponsored by Squarespace folks. Squarespace is the all in one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. If you need a website and who doesn't these days, Squarespace has all the right tools for you. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience and sell anything from products to content to tickets. All in one place. All on your terms. They have amazing features like Square Square Leave it in like Squarespace Payments, which is the easiest way to manage your payments in one place. And it's so fast and simple all it takes is a few clicks and you can start receiving payments right away. Plus give your customers more ways to pay with popular payment methods like Karna Ach Direct Deposit, Apple Pay, afterpay and Clear Pay. You can also Connect major social and multimedia accounts to your website in a few clicks as icons, direct links, or embedded feeds. It's a great way to point customers directly to your products and content. And when you go to your favorite comedian's website, you can easily find their Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, even their Facebook, if you so choose. Which. Who's choosing Facebook these days? Squarespace also helps with invoicing. They provide an easier way to collect payments so you can focus on your growing business. Invoice clients and get paid for your services, turn leads into client boot proposals, estimates and contracts, and simp your workflow and manage your services business on one platform. So head on over to squarespace.com so true. So true. To start your free trial and when you're ready to Launch, you can save 10 off your first purchase of a website or domain using code. So true. No, it was a fabulous party. You were missing.

[A]

So fun. That looked so fun.

[B]

I couldn't believe you weren't there.

[A]

I know. I'm a fool. Well, and I just, I. I went for like a week and a half and this is the first time I've ever done that just for stand up, just been like, okay, I'm just gonna go do as much comedy as I possibly can. Never had a better time in my entire life. I've never. It's insane. Were you there before you were here?

[B]

I lived there for two summers in college.

[A]

Okay, okay, okay.

[B]

And I really enjoyed it. But I gotta say, I'm glad I was broke in Chicago. I don't think I would have liked being broke in New York. I liked being broke in Chicago. Fine. It was doable.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

I like living in New York with a more comfortable financial situation. I can pay my bills, which is nice. And I enjoy coming to LA every once in a while. Yeah, it's nice.

[A]

Well, that's the move. And like, I don't know, this is actually the time in my life for me and my guy both where I'm like, we could do this a little bit better than we could have five years ago. It's not gonna be luxurious. No, it's not gonna be beautiful. The bills are paid, but the bills are paid. And we could get something decent and live in Brooklyn and have a fun time.

[B]

You could. You could live by me.

[A]

Where are you?

[B]

I'm in Brooklyn.

[A]

It says the exact address to me.

[B]

Oh, where am I? We're offline. Yeah. You guys should come out there, move out there.

[A]

I like.

[B]

And for someone who cares about stage time, I do.

[A]

And you really do well, it was very stupid. I was like, the last day I was there, I was like, okay, what am I even. I had. I had like 12 sets or something. Like, truly unbelievable. And it's like at a certain point, is there a plateau 1000%. You do not do all that. That's a lot. It is a lot. You do not need to be doing.

[B]

New York comics and I, we don't see eye to eye on.

[A]

No, you don't.

[B]

They're like, they're like, New York's about stage, where I'm like, New York's about dinner.

[A]

You're so fucking.

[B]

New York's about dinner and a long walk home.

[A]

You're so right to me. That was what. There were several times that week where I was like, I would rather go eat seafood than do the three remaining spots that I have.

[B]

I want to go try a new restaurant. I want to go on a date. Do you know what my favorite night in New York is?

[A]

What?

[B]

Date. Dinner date. Cute guy, dinner date. Fun. Maybe you make out a little bit outside.

[A]

Of course you're kissing outside the train. Of course you're kissing outside.

[B]

Then cut the evening short. Don't sleep with him.

[A]

Okay, so you're reinventing the form.

[B]

Go meet up with your friends. Have a great night with your friends. Go to a bar or two, maybe do something. You know, go. Go see a movie, do something. See your friends, then re. Meet up, text the guy what's going on.

[A]

And that's.

[B]

Then meet up, then have sex.

[A]

That's beautiful. And that's so allowed.

[B]

I'm gonna cry.

[A]

There's. It's so like, I'm gonna cry. I'm gonna cry thinking about it.

[B]

That's beautiful.

[A]

It is beautiful. And that's so accepted in New York. Like times there where I would be with a friend for like four hours and then we would take a six hour hiatus and then get back together after spots. Like, everybody's just around. Yeah, everybody's around in the area.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When I go home today, I'm gonna be home for seven days.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what I mean? I'm not gonna get out of my bed for seven days.

[B]

One of the key differences between New York and LA is when someone says, I'll see you later.

[A]

They might.

[B]

In New York. It might happen.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Hey.

[A]

Hey. I love you.

[B]

You'll be lucky if you ever see them again.

[A]

Exactly. There's a reason I've hung out with you four times.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That wouldn't be the case in New York.

[B]

Mostly your fault.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Do you feel that.

[A]

Yes, I feel that. I take that on. I take that.

[B]

No, it's my fault. I'm bad. I'm bad. I'm bad.

[A]

Well, I'm a bad hanger here. Just generally. Yeah, because you have to, like. I don't know. I. When I was. When I was.

[B]

My homophobic husband. Yeah, you guys have that going on. You guys have.

[A]

We have to be at home and he has to be home.

[B]

Well, he doesn't give you permission to go out that often, so. On the nights that he does.

[A]

No, no. We were out the other night, and he's a much. He is a much more introverted person than I am. And. But it's so funny because he's such. He's like a quiet guy. He's like a shy guy. And I'll bring him around. Comedians, other people who just, like, can't shut the fuck up and, like, never let anyone speak if they're not screaming. And he was around somebody that I would say, he's been around 15 times. And at the end of the night, the guy was like, your husband's really funny. I was like, yeah, you should let other people talk for, like, one second.

[B]

You should shut the. Up.

[A]

You should shut up. He's so much funnier than you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You've never let him say a word.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's really insane.

[B]

Wait until you hear what he has to say about. By women. Oh, he's a hoot.

[A]

He's a hoot and a holler.

[B]

Oh, he's a hoot and a holler. I'm not allowed to talk to girls.

[A]

Stop it.

[B]

Yeah, he's a. He's a regular riot. I've painted him so I've got rules on where I can go.

[A]

No.

[B]

No, I'm kidding. For everyone. Listening hall.

[A]

He's lovely.

[B]

He's lovely. I am supposed to say he doesn't.

[A]

Let me look at them.

[B]

He's lovely. He's holding up a sign to me in the corner of the room that says, say that I'm lovely.

[A]

He has a knife to chance his nec.

[B]

Well, all of our guests do that. Hang out with chance for 5 minutes. You'll pull a knife, too.

[A]

Aw.

[B]

You know who's got a knife to my neck? Chance. Every month, when it's time to get paid.

[A]

Not this face. Not this punchline delivery face.

[B]

Caleb's got a knife to my neck. Everybody who works here, when it's time to get paid.

[A]

Caleb, I'm not kidding. That's the worst guy I've ever seen in my entire life.

[B]

He's at the store every night.

[A]

He is. He runs the place.

[B]

He's at the store every night. He kills at the Cellar.

[A]

Sorry, I'm about to say something. Yeah.

[B]

I've never been to prison, but I've got a wife.

[A]

The blinking. The blinking.

[B]

So you can say I live with a warden.

[A]

I'm so triggered by that guy. I am so triggered by that guy.

[B]

It's kind of fun. I want to take. I want to get. I haven't done stand up in a minute. But when I get back to it, I think I want to take on an affect like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It's the Tim Heidecker. Okay. It's the Tim Heidecker bit. God, Tim is so funny.

[A]

He's so good at everything.

[B]

Put that picture on screen in the actual episode. That's so fucking funny.

[A]

Sorry I went there.

[B]

It's the blinking. It's the blinking.

[A]

The blinking is insane, actually. And I think that's one that you should.

[B]

So what do you think's gonna happen to our country?

[A]

Bad.

[B]

You think?

[A]

Bad.

[B]

You're from the South.

[A]

I'm from the South. I'm from.

[B]

You're from Tennessee.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And you're a liberal girl.

[A]

Yes. Very.

[B]

Even a leftist? I would say.

[A]

Yes. Yeah.

[B]

Even.

[A]

To go so far as very, very left politics.

[B]

And I'm sure you have some Republican family.

[A]

Everyone. Everyone except for my mother.

[B]

What. What do you think? What are we going to do? How do we do it?

[A]

So I've been. Me and my. Me and my father are done fighting. I don't. I. We just. We had it for years. He fucking. I'll challenge him on everything, but it's like. I'm not going to waste my time. Me and my brother spend nine hours a day texting each other and arguing about Elon Musk. I'm serious. This is where I'm putting all of my creative energy. I haven't written a joke in a month and a half because I am just railing against my brother all day and he's saying things. He's. People is like. Loves a troll. Just loves to get a argument going. He's bored. I'm bored. It's the middle of the day. I don't have a job anymore. You know, I'm just locked in.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then by the end of the day, we will have completely. Just come right back to the start. And he's just saying something hateful and awful and it's driving me insane.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I also think he's like. He's one of the few people I know who's like musk good and I just can't. There's nothing. There's like no, I have no recourse for that. I can't. I. If you're starting with like that guy's good. And it's right that he's doing all this stuff. I don't. I don't know. I don't know what to tell you.

[B]

Has single handedly. We were making so much progress on autistic people.

[A]

I know. And then he.

[B]

We were making so much progress. We were like it's fine if bright lights scare you. We were getting so cool.

[A]

You don't know what to do with your face. Me neither. That's fine.

[B]

Yeah. Numbers can be fun or whatever the fuck. We were getting there with them. Oh why?

[A]

Why is that up so high? Stuff like that. You know What?

[B]

Getting there with autistic people.

[A]

Yeah. And can you not scratch your leg like that? Yes.

[B]

Tanked the autism stall with the fucking gay little jumps.

[A]

He's being so gay.

[B]

He's got our Social Security number.

[A]

He has every single piece of our data. Hello.

[B]

Is anyone.

[A]

Is anyone worried about this? I'm so scared.

[B]

Is anyone worried about this? He's hiring 19 year old Nazis 19 year old little Nazi boys to go through our finances. And they're cutting. They're cutting. Also this is the thing I don't get about these guys is they're going. Going. They're going. We have an America first agenda. We're not going to be stopping AIDS in other countries. It's like they're cutting funding to aids. Hey, guess what happens if that gets out of control. Dumb.

[A]

You dumb idiot. It comes over here too. And then you. And then we're not going to care about it here. You've already taken down half the fucking websites about everything.

[B]

Also the website scrubbing.

[A]

It's so strange to me because I did. I think they literally removed every single government federal website that made any mention of diversity, inclusion, accessibility. Like they just scrubbed every have. It's unbelievable. Here's my theory that I've been thinking about a lot. These guys have weird dicks, right?

[B]

Totally.

[A]

Right. Every billionaire has a weird looking dong. Totally egg shaped. We saw with Epstein. It looks strange, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I think that once you reach a billion dollars I should be able to see it.

[B]

You take.

[A]

And I think it should be his profile picture on X. Yeah. So that every time he's doing something terrible and tyrannical and racist and Nazi shit I at least get to go. Weird little Dinghy, though, you know? I think so. And I want to see Bezos's. I'm sure it's weird. I'm sure it looks like his face.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

I think that's my right as American. Every. If I have to hear about you Every. Yeah. To see their. To see their weird little peen. If I have to hear about you every day. If you have my Social Security number, show me your copy.

[B]

I get to see your dick. Yeah. Interesting. That's really interesting. Cool. Cool, man. Cool, man. Whoa, Laura. This was fun, dude.

[A]

I just can't. I truly, at this juncture, cannot believe that I have to hear about these men every day of my life. You know what I mean? And that's the rest of our country. That's the rest of the democracy.

[B]

Do you want to hear about my Hopium? Do you want to hear about my Hope Core?

[A]

Yes, please.

[B]

Do you want to hear about why I feel so hopeful?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

This isn't going to work. What they're doing is not going to work.

[A]

It will collapse in on itself.

[B]

I feel really like they're. Most people. I really think most people are not racist. Racist. I really think most people given. Given the actual. Confronted with an actual person different than them, most people are like, hey, man, how's it going?

[A]

A hundred percent.

[B]

I think most people are nice. I think most people are normal. I think that this will backfire.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

All this shit that they're doing right now, they're drumming up the base and they're getting. They're making it so exciting for all these misguided people who are interested in whatever the fuck they're doing.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I don't think it's gonna work.

[A]

It can't.

[B]

And then on the other side of it, I think there's gonna be a real opportunity for people who are actually pro working class, who are not racist and evil, who don't hate immigrants for no fucking reason.

[A]

No reason at all.

[B]

Who like trans people and love trans people. But there's gonna be a window for people like us, which is not the Democrats, by the way. The Democrats are not as bad, but, like, they're.

[A]

No, they're.

[B]

They're fucking also stupid and fumbling.

[A]

They're so stupid and they're so ineffectual, and they just have been for too long.

[B]

It's like, I think there's gonna be a window for people like us to come in and say, okay, here's a real plan. Yeah, here's a pro immigrant, pro trans, pro gay, pro worker. Because the thing is, like, a Farmer in Iowa has way more in common with a trans woman in la.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Anything with a billionaire.

[A]

And finally, like, I have been more than I have in the past several years is like the rise of this has happened. I have been seeing so, so many working class white people just being like, hey, buddy, like, you've been misguided. You've been lied to. And let me tell you why and how. And let me tell you how this hurts agriculture in every way. Our jobs, our livelihoods, our family. Families. And this is a grift. Like, you can admit that you don't have to, like, apologize, but you can admit that you've been misled. And by the way, this group of.

[B]

People, not for nothing, not just working class white people.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Working class black and Hispanic people as well.

[A]

Yes. Oh, 100.

[B]

The right is making a lot of gains with those.

[A]

I know. It's. Yeah.

[B]

And so as fun as I think it's been for people on the left to go. Poor white people. Bad.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Poor white people are voting overwhelmingly bad.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But even more than that, middle class white people.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So it's not just poor white people, it's white people in general and then also growingly Hispanic people and black people as well.

[A]

Yeah. I know.

[B]

Now the margins are nowhere near similar, but there's a growth there. And so I think we've been doing ourselves on the left a real disservice by being like poor white people. What do you need to hear from us?

[A]

True. Yeah, that's true. That's true.

[B]

The reality is working people in general of all races have got to get an understanding of the fact that, like, a transgender DJ in la.

[A]

Yeah. Is not.

[B]

And an undocumented line cook in Kentucky. These people have more in common with most all of us than you ever.

[A]

Will with Elon Musk or with anybody making. I mean, they were looking at. The tax plan today is like literally under 500k a year. You will be paying more in taxes. So it's like, what's happening to the people over that they're paying. They're going to get killed.

[B]

Hold on, hold on. I didn't read that.

[A]

What's going on?

[B]

What happens to gay podcasters who make 20 billion a week?

[A]

Oh, no, Caleb, am I in trouble? You're in big trouble. You're in big trouble.

[B]

What if I give away like 100,000?

[A]

But what if picking at your microphone. What if. I don't know.

[B]

What about a gay podcaster who makes $20 billion a week?

[A]

I really care about people.

[B]

I Think from Meundies and Casper Mattresses, which are extremely comfortable, by the way.

[A]

Yes, I love a Casper. Wait, that's your camera.

[B]

Get your camera. Get your camera, please.

[A]

I love Casper Mattresses. Good night. I know. It's crazy. It is. Well, it's. It is. It is. Working people versus non working people.

[B]

It is. But we have to. I think, yeah, the. I do think there. There's a lot of hope that I have that we can make that case. And it's. Yeah, it's actually a really. It's actually a really easy message. We just have to find someone on the national level who can make it. Well, yeah, truly, you know, is there.

[A]

Are there people that you. I'm obviously losing hope for the Democratic Party, but it's like, who do we need right now? Who is. Who is the person for this moment?

[B]

I've lost faith in candidates in general. I don't donate to them. I don't promote them. I find it hard to believe I would ever have one on this show. I just don't care about candidates anymore.

[A]

I think that stumping for candidates, either side. Lamest shit you can do.

[B]

Humiliating, right?

[A]

Lamest shit in the world.

[B]

Well, I just had a friend text me about this really cool socialist candidate for an office that. That I think is really cool, and I like his platform, but I'm just like, I don't want to do it because they always let me down. I know whether they win or not, I'm like, I want to focus on causes. If I had to pick a party, I think maybe the. But they have no power. But that's the thing is none of the good ones do. But Working Families Party is very exciting to me. I've read a bunch of their stuff. I like the Working Families Party. I think they're. They're having a lot of the same conversations that I'm trying to have about class and work and things like that. So maybe them. Yeah, but parties. I don't know. I don't know.

[A]

It's just not working. Yeah, it's not working. Yeah, well. And it's like, I'm done with the Democrats. Oh, I mean, done with the Democrats. It is hysteric. The failure and the refusal to change in any meaningful way. They're already talking about midterm. They're already talking about pushing their messaging further to the center, Further Right. It's like, have we done nothing? Have we made absolutely no progress?

[B]

Hey, guys. Someone's doing that.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

And they're winning against you.

[A]

Extreme. It's so annoying.

[B]

You idiots. I can't. I cannot believe it, dude. I cannot believe it.

[A]

It's the least cool shit in the world. You know what I mean? On top of that. On top of it being incorrect, not effective. It's also so lame.

[B]

Also, can we just go down with some fucking dignity? Can we lose? Can. Can you just try being what you say you are and just. If you lose, you can at least hold your head high?

[A]

Yeah, a little bit.

[B]

That's the thing with the como losses. We can't even hold our heads high. Because she was out there every day.

[A]

Being like, I have a gun.

[B]

Yeah. She's like. She's like, I have a gun. Frankly, I'm a cop, and Liz Cheney will be my vice president.

[A]

Dude, when it's like, what. When the gun thing happened, I was like. I truly. I thought so. I was like, what voter was that for? What? What? What? I got my Glock in my. You're like, what are you talking about? She. I was like, is there. I love thinking about, like, a farmer in Iowa being like, wait a minute. I didn't like that strong black woman.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I love that she's armed.

[B]

Or her. Like, every. Every time she got an opportunity. Being like, nobody has done more deportations than me.

[A]

Hey, this is good. Okay, Very good point. Also an incredible impression.

[B]

Twice.

[A]

You'Ve tested twice, spit everywhere. Because I was so shocked. Are you serious?

[B]

On a white guy who can do a compliment?

[A]

And were you doing the Kamala.

[B]

No, they passed on me.

[A]

That blows my mind.

[B]

On me. Twice that. I mean a worse one. This episode of so True is brought to you by booking.combooking. yeah. Every time I use booking.com to find a place to stay in the US I know they'll have exactly what I'm looking for. They have a huge variety of options, from hotels to vacation rentals. And I know I can find exactly what I'm looking for. I found booking.com has something for everyone in my friend group. Yeah, you could say I'm definitely the planner. If I didn't do it, no one would. So when it's time to take that group vacation to the beach, I sprint to my computer and go right to booking dot com. Now, my friends can be pretty specific about what they need out of a place to stay on vacation. We simply must have an outdoor barbecue grill so I can go make some of my famous ribs. Booking.com makes it easy and convenient to find so many great places to stay all across the country. No matter who you are, Booking.com helps you find the stay that's ridiculously right for you. Find exactly what you're looking for for Pardon? Booking for on booking.com booking. Yeah. Today's episode is brought to you by Alma. Alma's on a mission to simplify access to high quality, affordable mental health care. ALMA has built a community of over 20,000 diverse therapists. Therapists on the platform offer both in person and virtual care. While online tools and resources can be a useful starting point or supplement, human relationships are an irreplaceable part of mental health care. ALMA can help you find someone who will work with you on your specific needs and goals and support you in making real progress in improving your mental health health. I'mma also make things real simple to find a therapist Some people turn to impersonal online resources like forums or chatbots because they think finding a therapist is expensive and difficult. Well, this directory makes it easy to find therapists that take your insurance and meet your unique needs with filters like gender, race, therapeutic approach, and more. Know the cost of your sessions upfront using Alma's Cost Estimator tool. At Alma, 97% of therapists accept insurance, including United, Aetna, Sigma, and more. Better with people, better with Alma. Visit helloelma.com so true to get started and schedule a free consultation today. That's hello A l A M a dot com S O T R U E Another brand I love. How about DoorDash looking for love this Spring? Whether you're looking for a spring fling, situationship, or something more serious, our friends at Doordash have you covered. And get this, they're joining forces with Panera Bread to bring you the perfect match. Well, for lunch at least, Panera's you pick. 2 offering lets you pair two items like a cup of soup, half salad, or half sandwich together from Panera's menu. I bet you're wondering just how many different combinations or pairings that could be possible. And I'm here to tell you that with this deal, you have over 800 possible combinations to choose from. It's easy to find your one True lunch. Isn't that romantic? So many of us spend time looking for love on an app. Why not find a great meal to fall in love with this spring with Doordash and Panera bread?

[A]

Huh?

[B]

Steamy soup, refreshing salad, savory sandwiches. They make it so easy to find your perfect pairing. And for listeners of this podcast, they're making it even easier to get in on this incredible deal. Deal Use code true lunch for 20% off your Panera. You pick two order on DoorDash from March 3 to March 12, terms apply. For full terms, go to Panera store page on doordash. That's right. You heard me correctly. Get 20% off your Panera. You pick. 2 order on DoorDash with code TRUE LUNCH, March 3 through March 12, terms apply. For full terms, go to the Panera store page on doordash. I went back for the impression and did it worse. I have a decent.

[A]

Who do you got? Yeah, who'd you bring?

[B]

I have a decent. I'm scared to say it. I have a decent Maya Angelou. Haven't done it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Haven't done it.

[A]

I'm scared to say this, but I'm gonna say it because you've been so brave in terms of the quality, the. The sort of nasal quality of her voice.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Not that far from Kamala. I could see you being really.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

God, that's fun.

[B]

It reminds me of that. Was it. Was it always sunny when he does CCH Pounder?

[A]

God damn it.

[B]

He, like, nails it really killer. So funny. Because if you're a guy like me and you watched all of the show Shield twice, you love to see a CCH Pounder.

[A]

I think Carson and I were watching, like, some sort of ridiculous, like, hype house reality show.

[B]

This is one of the days that you were allowed to watch tv.

[A]

Yes, one of the days that he let me watch tv. I also got to text one of my girlfriends one day. That was a big one. This guy was like, 19, and he was talking about being depressed, like, before he started to be a content creator. And he go, 19 year old kid. He goes, I just, like, didn't have anybody to collaborate with. And we were like, hey, brother, are you talking about having a friend?

[B]

Yeah, I just. I wanted to link and build with people, but there was no one to link and build with.

[A]

Just didn't have anybody to collab with. Like, I was alone and not collabing a lot of the time, and I.

[B]

I wanted to collab. Like, I'd be like, yo, who wants to collab on, like, dinner tonight? Or, like, does someone want to collab on, like, bowling?

[A]

Do you want to collab on, like, maybe just talking about our feelings for a few hours?

[B]

Does anyone want to collab on hanging out at my place?

[A]

You have to start.

[B]

Camera's off. I do say that. Of course I do say that. Anyone want to collab on a hang tonight? Hey, I'm looking for creators. I'm looking for creators in the comedy space to collab.

[A]

It's four people that you text.

[B]

Yeah, Black Cat, 10 o'clock Thursday night. No cameras. I want to collab.

[A]

There was this guy that I saw that I haven't opened Facebook in years. And I opened it a few months ago and I saw that someone had tagged me in like a post that they had made. And it was LA's most overrated comedians. It was this guy who I guess just sucks for a living. And he wrote, he wrote, it's not fair that she gets stage time because she has a good frame, as in my body.

[B]

I mean, I feel that way, but I've been saying that for years.

[A]

I'm kind of a burkhouse.

[B]

I say, I say, I say showing good stage time because of her. Va, va voom. Her beautiful figure. That's psychotic frame.

[A]

And like, I'm doing that. Yeah, he tagged me in it.

[B]

What a psycho.

[A]

I loved it. I was obsessed. I liked it. I commented on it. Yeah, hilarious. What are you talking about? This is a person that I've never seen in my entire life. Like, just a totally mentally ill, like, open mic.

[B]

Her frame.

[A]

I love her frame.

[B]

Sorry. That cord's been bothering me the whole episode. I had to do something about it. You're nicer than I am because I would have went the off on that guy.

[A]

Well, I'm like, if I. If this was a person that I had even remotely knew existed, I would be like, oh, that makes me really sad. See, and this is what I. We were talking about it a little bit at the beginning, but I'm like, I am fielding. Finally, I. I have no attraction on the Internet. It's gonna make me put a gun in my mouth ever. Hate it so much. Hate it so much. The bane of my fucking existence. Yeah, but whenever you do, you're like, oh, thank God. And then it's just like the cruelest shit you've ever seen in your life.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

How do you. What do you shoot them with a gun?

[B]

If you're me, you pretend that they're kidding.

[A]

I like that.

[B]

That helps me a lot. I go, oh, he was kidding.

[A]

They're doing a bit.

[B]

Someone's saying something brutally mean about me. I go, I go, okay, they're joking around.

[A]

Hilarious to joke around like that.

[B]

That's so funny. You wouldn't actually want me dead over nothing.

[A]

I love that. I love that.

[B]

I love. That helps a little bit.

[A]

I've started going that famously. There was a guy who commented on a video of mine where I'm doing stand up and I just have the tits that I have the Joke was not in any way about my body. And whatever just happened have the. The. The frame that I was gifted.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And this guy. This guy commented, I can't look at you when I say this. I have to close my eyes. He commented. And he said. He said, somebody drain those milkers before they rupture.

[B]

He's looking out for you.

[A]

Doesn't it sound like something the city has to do?

[B]

Like, a government employee comes down. Sorry, ma'am.

[A]

This has been at the top of the dining room for three weeks.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I have a family. Okay.

[B]

They bring you out to Altadena when the fires were going.

[A]

Shut the.

[B]

So it's just. We could contain, like, 30% of this.

[A]

30 of this. I mean, they're gonna rupture if we drain those milkers. Somebody. Somebody.

[B]

Somebody. Dude, that's insane.

[A]

It was the craziest. And I DMed this man and I said, you know, people say a lot of insane things on the Internet. I said, I cannot put into words how much this disturbed me. It made me feel crazy. It made me feel like I was gonna chop my own titsaw. It made me feel out of my mind. Baby body dysmorphia, 100%. And he goes, my bad. And deleted it.

[B]

That's kind of beautiful.

[A]

And Carson is at home right now.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And we've been marri. So I married him.

[A]

No, I married him.

[B]

That's insane. Also, I love the idea. It's such a funny thing to launch at a woman. To be like, you're only getting ahead in comedy because you're beautiful. Yeah. That classic thing that audiences laugh at a beautiful person.

[A]

Oh. Oh, yeah. A person.

[B]

You are beautiful. But it's like, no, you kill because you're funny. It's like, yes. To be, like. To be like a huge, gorgeous pair of tits up there. I'm laughing already.

[A]

Exactly. Guys, that's not coming in. Every op on every side of the room is just like, a woman who. Who kind of immediately doesn't like you because you have your tits out a little bit. Yeah. A guy who's. Who is angry and doesn't think women are funny. So it's like every single time you're getting people back on your side. Exactly. You're not going up. Unless I was, like, tripping and falling over them. It's not, like, a thing that's going to make people laugh.

[B]

I'm not doing slapstick with them.

[A]

Have you seen her slatter titty slapstick in the new hour. I just can't stand up. Right?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

My frame.

[B]

That's so fun. Well, what's your frame?

[A]

My tender frame.

[B]

It was gifted to you by God. By titty God.

[A]

So should I name myself Titty God?

[B]

Special.

[A]

My rap career goes crazy.

[B]

Special title. Titty God Or a pink titty God?

[A]

T, I, T, T, I G, O, T. Of course.

[B]

G, A, W, D. Okay. We in rhymes. Tittyguard.

[A]

It's my kids. So I catch rays after every single punchline. I wipe myself with a towel and say, leah.

[B]

Titty gouache.

[A]

Titty gouache.

[B]

Yeah. You're like. You're like a black 90s comic, 100%.

[A]

I'm earthquake up there, just wiping my brow, Titty gore.

[B]

So I told him, get lost, titty gore dog. Shout it out in a way that like only Bernie Mac could have pulled off.

[A]

Oh, God, it is bombing, by the way. Every single time.

[B]

It is eating Titty God's eating titty gods. Dude, you know what I've been rewatching? What? The Bernie Mac show.

[A]

Oh, my God, it's so good. I haven't watched it since I was a child, but I remember really liking it.

[B]

I love him. I miss him.

[A]

He's so entertaining.

[B]

And he would just. They set it up so perfectly where every confessional was just him going America and then he would just address the nation.

[A]

Yes, it was. It was beautiful.

[B]

It was amazing.

[A]

I. This is kind of a. I feel like kind of a hack stand up thing. But if I am feeling badly about myself comedically, I will go and watch that Apollo set.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Every single fucking time. I watch like five times a week. I'm not scared of you.

[B]

Incredible.

[A]

It's the best stand up set that's ever been recorded.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And it's him.

[B]

Just.

[A]

What is it? Kick it. Every time.

[B]

Kick it. It's so good, Blair. Music.

[A]

So good.

[B]

Inspirational.

[A]

It really, it's.

[B]

I've read articles about that set, truly.

[A]

Like, I forget about it often and then I go back to it and I'll watch. I'll like, mention it to a comedian. They're like, yeah, yeah. I watch it all the time. It's like, it is the most monumental stand up set ever recorded. And it makes me feel better about myself because I am scared of these motherfuckers.

[B]

Oh, the audience. Titty God's a little fearful. I'm not gonna lie. I'm scared of y'all. I'm gonna lie.

[A]

I'm a little scared. I'm gonna bomb. Titty God being vul.

[B]

Being vulnerable as Diddy God, my mental.

[A]

Health is slipping a little bit. Diddy God.

[B]

And y'all know what time it is. Titty God needs to take her medication. They yell at back then, no one says anything. Titty God.

[A]

I'm turning over a new leaf.

[B]

Yeah, my mental health's been in the drain a little bit. My husband won't let me talk to women. Did he go? God, so stupid.

[A]

Oh my God, I love it. Oh my God.

[B]

What's so true to you?

[A]

Oh, I was thinking about this. Wait, what was my thing? Oh, okay, yes, I did. I. I read your email. I do have it on my phone. Is that okay?

[B]

That's fine, I guess. Just maybe.

[A]

So. We've been trying. I'm not as smart as you, Caleb. I can't keep it in my head. Okay. The. Me and Carson have been looking for a new place. We've been trying to move within la. And the things that they want from you. Yeah, they want my. My past three employers.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're going to call my employer.

[B]

I don't talk to them anymore. They hate me. I was run out of there.

[A]

Yeah. Literally, I hate every job I've ever left. What do you not. You've never had a job, you fuck. Okay, so when we get these in the application, I think I should be able to submit an application back to them.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That has the following questions.

[B]

Okay. Okay. Yes.

[A]

Have you ever evicted anyone?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If yes, please explain.

[B]

Yeah, get them, please.

[A]

Please provide the contact information of minimum four tenants who have lived in your properties in the last five years. Yes, I'm gonna call them.

[B]

Yes. Cuz I do wanna talk to them.

[A]

I do wanna talk to them. Does he come and fix shit on time?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is he mean to you?

[B]

Why'd you leave? Did you find out there was lead in the bathroom? 100% now they're not gonna tell you.

[A]

Did you wake up with a cockroach in your mouth?

[B]

Yeah. Tell me. No, stand by that. Okay.

[A]

Okay. Have you increased rent without any meaningful updates to the property in the last five years? If yes, please explain why. Please list all of your sources of income. Will you be relying on me to provide 100% of your income? If so, why would you do that?

[B]

If so, explain.

[A]

And finally, in 100 words or less, please justify your lifestyle.

[B]

It's valid.

[A]

That's what. I don't know if that falls under so true, but I cannot get over how much they want from me while giving me nothing in return. Return? I'm giving you. I'm giving you every piece of my financial history. My Social Security number.

[B]

I know nothing about them and I have to move quick.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

For the privilege of paying your mortgage.

[A]

I'm going to give you my Social Security. What are you, Elon Musk?

[B]

Landlords go to hell when they die. They do.

[A]

They.

[B]

They go to hell when they die.

[A]

They do.

[B]

And no one's talking about that.

[A]

I. I think. I think they're. If, if anything is right in the world, they're all already kind of in hell. You know what I mean? They always seem so frantic and like, worried and it's like you should be, you know what? You don't have a life.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're taking my money and like, letting me live in squalor. Yeah, I hate him.

[B]

I know. Me too. And that's why all my tenants are friends. That's my family. I don't have tenants. I family.

[A]

And when they. When I get some more just meundies money, I get them some extra stuff.

[B]

I got hundreds of units across the country.

[A]

Those are my sons and those are.

[B]

My sons living in there. Titty God.

[A]

And that's on Titty God.

[B]

I do. I love him. No, I do. It's so funny watching your friends start to make money and then the values that change so quickly with the justification.

[A]

It's crazy.

[B]

Like, just you, seriously, if you are a comedian who's around other artists that are starting to do well, you will go to a lunch with a friend who's a leftist and you will hear some version of. Of, well, don't we need good landlords? It'll just. It'll be like a.

[A]

You look over, they're wearing a hat that says it. You're like, wait, hold on.

[B]

It's like they're merch now.

[A]

You're like, whoa, Good landlords exist.

[B]

Yeah. Question mark please. Pair hands. It's so quick.

[A]

It's so bad. This is how I know that your politics are real. Cuz they're not going anywhere. No, I'm not a landlord. Those are my sons.

[B]

Those are my sons. Titty God. That's on Titty God. That's on Titty God. You need to rebrand.

[A]

I am ready.

[B]

God.

[A]

Something isn't working. So I think it's time for Titty God.

[B]

Oh my God, that's so funny. Yeah, landlords, they're asking too much. They're giving us nothing. Let's also remember how funny it is that I moved to New York, paid an amount of money for a broker's fee that I cannot even explain to you. Like the amount I paid for the Broker's fee was in the many thousands of dollars.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

And then, like, three weeks later, they banned a broker's fee fees. And I said, hey, y'all, what happened? Let's set the session up a little earlier in the year next time.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

Like, I'm pretty sure I, I.

[A]

You paid the last broker.

[B]

I paid the last broker fee. I got. I got. I caught that woman through December and January.

[A]

They made you pay so much money that we were like. They were like, we don't need these anymore.

[B]

They're good.

[A]

Her kids are going to college.

[B]

K took care of it. Yeah. I was like, what the. I can't even do that anymore. It's illegal. The way I was treated last month. Yeah. The way you guys treated me last month. You can go to jail for now.

[A]

The Caleb Heron law. They can't. We robbed this guy blind, and that's not right.

[B]

They took a look in the mirror.

[A]

They. You made them come to. You gave them so much money.

[B]

They said, guys, we can't keep doing this to people. He's.

[A]

Have you ever potty? He's just a comedian.

[B]

What we did to that young gay man. Golly, golly, knock it off. Knock it off right now. We can't keep doing this to people. It's like, they're like, yeah, I'm the one that put it over the edge. Not like the, like, immigrants that they out of, like, school money for their children. It was me that they were like, no, guys, it's not right.

[A]

Y'all see that white comedian that we did that.

[B]

Come on. He podcasts so hard. Hard.

[A]

He's riffing into oblivion.

[B]

This guy studio coming up with all kinds of things to talk about.

[A]

You really do have to come up with so much to talk about. He's got his podcaster. You really have to think of a lot of things to talk about.

[B]

He's got his guests. Most people go with, like, you know, famous people, but he's got.

[A]

Just having his friends on titty God.

[B]

He did have titty God on, though.

[A]

Did you see that?

[B]

Everyone's like, oh, we love her.

[A]

It's just me and Glo. We're, like, hanging out.

[B]

What's giving you hope? What's making you feel happy? Tell me that.

[A]

Ooh. I think, I mean, we touched on a little bit the, The. The kind of impending doom that we're feeling. And you just made me feel a lot better about it, actually, that it's like, these. It's too. It's too dumb to succeed where this is they won't actually wreck our whole country. But there is something that's happening as a result of that where I'm just like happy. I'm being, you know what I'm doing? I'm being very forgiving of myself. I'm a very shameful guy, guilt ridden person.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm doing less of that because I'm like, listen, you're on the right side of stuff. You're going to try your best and don't just give yourself all day, every day.

[B]

Are you accompanying that grace with some work as well?

[A]

Yeah. You mean like on me or content?

[B]

Like on content?

[A]

Are you, are you producing enough content?

[B]

Are you at least putting out reels? Are you at least putting out reels while you're.

[A]

I love that you're giving yourself a. A good time and an easier time.

[B]

But hey, love that you're not being so hard on yourself, but can you at least put out a TikTok every day?

[A]

Views are down.

[B]

Yeah. Views are down and we need them. No. Here's what I would say. Everybody, give yourself more grace. Yes. But everybody, this is for the people listening. Everybody find something to work on to help find something to work on. Because I do think there is a problem with a lot of white people. A lot of white people are going, you know what?

[A]

This is about me. I'm gonna take care of me 100%. I'm.

[B]

Stop being so hard on myself 100%. Here's what I would tell a lot of especially, especially moneyed, Cis, white, straight, privileged white people. Maybe be a little harder on yourself.

[A]

Yeah, that's true. You just clocked me because.

[B]

So I don't know if that's you, because I don't know what you do. But I'm saying I will say I am working on not making myself so crazy about all. Yeah, I am reading less. Straight up. I'm gonna read less of the news, period. There are gonna be bad things that happen to people that I'm not reading about. Yeah. That I'm not going to. Okay. But I am. I do know my little parts. I do know where I'm giving time and money and resources. I do have my little sector of the world that I'm trying to make better. And that at least makes me feel a little better about being less hard on myself. I do have some friends, most of them white women, because the men didn't care in the first place. Most of them white women who are pretty privileged in the world. You know, they've got couch jobs and they're Going, you know, I'm just, I'm not going to beat myself up over it. And I'm thinking, I'd like you to beat yourself up a little.

[A]

These are. Okay, These are, these are. I want to talk about this because I, I wrote down on my phone the other day, like the most self involved person you've ever spoken to your entire life being like, this year's about me. And it's like, when was it, when were, were you donating most of your time before this? I really don't think. What were you doing? What were you doing that was so selfless to begin with? I'm very allergic to that person. I also, when I like the, I think the only place or, or despair or whatever, or like shame, guilt, whatever, all of this shit, the only thing that lifts you out of that is being productive in some way for another person, for, for anybody else. So you're exactly right. I'm allergic to that girl. I hope I'm not that girl. I don't want to be that girl. But I also am like, like there's so much opportunity. We live in these major cities where it's just like ice is fudgeing everywhere. Like, go volunteer. Go find people that you can actually help. Go get your, get to know your neighbors a little bit and don't just sit around in self pity. Yeah, that's a, that's massive.

[B]

Also. Well, yes, I, because I, I'm finding, I think that hopelessness is a privileged person's disease. It that the number of privileged people I'm talking to that are going, she's hopeless, I'm hopeless. And I go, why don't you go create some fudgeing hope then?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because you have money and time.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you know who doesn't have money and time to create hope? The fucking undocumented people that are getting yanked out of the restaurant you go.

[A]

To every week, 1,000%.

[B]

So I think it's a balance. I think, yes, we need to. I think joy is a very critical part of surviving times like this. I think joy is so important and I'm, I'm not kidding when I say I am very happy. I do want there to be joy. I do want to have fun with my friends. I do want to acknowledge that like, like Jo, it is necessary to have joy in any successful movement. God knows they're having fun doing what they're doing over there.

[A]

Oh, they're having the time in their lives.

[B]

We have to have fun. But I don't want that to be confused for apathy.

[A]

And not caring.

[B]

Laziness.

[A]

Yes. 100%. You know, 100.

[B]

I also don't want to be. There's this. There's this thing that I'm very weary of that I don't want to be. I don't want to be marketed as like the. The moral comedian, you know, like the good guy, because I don't want to do. I care about stuff, but I'm like. I don't want to be like, it's like the Ellen Degener disease where she, like, got. She got on. I'll never. That'll never happen to me because I'm not that clean. But there's like a. There's like a thing where people attribute a certain thing to you so much.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That it's like. Then you can never live up to it. It, like, becomes bigger than you.

[A]

Well, that you'll never be afflicted by that because you're very funny. You know what I mean? It's like, I don't think you're. I don't think you've ever been the type of comic. I'm the same way where I'm like, it. You get. Getting your point across is huge. And keeping your morals about you when you do your stand up is huge. But it's like, I'm not waiting for clap.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't want to clap. I want you to laugh really, really hard.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I want to not sacrifice. I don't want to turn into a right wing grift or like all these, like some of these guys. So. Yeah. But it's like you do that very effectively, I think. Thank you. Yeah. The. The separation of the, like the funniest first.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And. And then, I mean, listen, you know what you're talking about, and you're a. You're a.

[B]

Do you think you. That's very nice. But do you find I don't really worry about becoming a right wing grifter because that requires such a level of evil? No.

[A]

It's terrifying.

[B]

But there's actually this worst thing that I kind of fear that I wonder if you ever think about where I'm like, I don't worry about becoming a right wing grifter because I know that I actually don't think. I just don't think I'm capable of that level of evil. I really don't.

[A]

And of just like, discord inside of your own soul. Yeah.

[B]

Like, I'm like, I actually don't think I have that within me. That's not to say I'm an angel. But I don't have that.

[A]

You certainly don't.

[B]

But I do worry about becoming a complacent centrist, or not even a complacent centrist, but like a. Like a limousine liberal or something where it's. It's like there's a complacency that I see with people who really do have good values and really do care, but because their shit's locked down and they're going to be okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I do watch some very good people just become like, well, you know, I know.

[A]

Do you. Do you mean comics? Do you mean people like artists? People that are making art?

[B]

I think artists, yeah, I think artists. And not even just that. I also mean people who have, like, really good day jobs. I've got a couple friends making 100, 130, 140k, a lot of money.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, living in the Midwest and. And they've got good values. And we march together at all the things and, you know, it's a little different there because they don't have. There's a specific thing that happens with artists where the criticism of everything starts to kind of stop once they get successful.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because now they know these people.

[A]

Well. Yeah, now they know these people, and now they're on such a larger platform where they're like, you know, I. I have been. I've been about my business or I've been moral in this exact way for a really long time. And I've used that as like a boon. Not a boon, but like a. A part of me that people know publicly.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And to see that shut down in the face of, like, getting bigger is crazy to me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I see happen in stand up a ton.

[B]

And everybody has their own, you know, like, look, you know, you don't want to call out a certain powerful person because maybe they do have a. They do give you a job and you do have bills to pay. And so it is a constant negotiation between, like, look, I'm not going to be able to help anybody if I'm out of house and home 100, you know, but at the same time, I don't. There's. Nobody gets to live blame free under capitalism. I'm. I'm sitting on this podcast here in a. Like, probably right at this moment, it's going to cut to an ad of me being like, you know, and I'm not going to say a brand because we value our sponsors.

[A]

We do.

[B]

Thank you, thank you, thank you. But it is like that. That's. I'm working advertising, you know what I mean? That's inherently those companies and those people and the people that, that benefits. There's. There's nothing to really like, puff your chest out about that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I'm not, I' I'm not trying to come at this from an angle of like, I am the, the good right guy who does it, all right? No one gets to come out scot free from.

[A]

No, no one. No one, no one. We're all marred by this.

[B]

I'm not trying to be mean to individual people, but I am just like, yeah, at a certain point, the number of artists I know who don't seem to have really much thought at all about who they cozy up to, as long as it benefits them. And these aren't my friends. These are just people I encounter. My friends aren't really like that. But I do find it, like, interesting, especially as things get so tough. You know what I mean?

[A]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Well, I don't know what to do with that.

[A]

It's never, it. First of all, it's never been more apparent in art, I think. I don't know. I don't know at what point comedy especially went from being like a truly anti establishment art form.

[B]

It was like, yeah, I was like, it was.

[A]

That's the reason it was made, right?

[B]

The people's art form.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You're supposed to go up and make fun of the film.

[A]

Everybody.

[B]

I'm not on their podcasts.

[A]

They've got all their podcasts. And it's like no one. Well, no, strangely, no one's doing the opposite. You don't hear any comics being like, I didn't see anybody perform at common rallies. But it's like the, the, I guess the paycheck that they get from these people or I guess the notoriety that they get is more important than any art they've ever. But I, I tried to write so much about this was like, you start, you start comedy as like an artist. You're like, I'm going to challenge myself. I'm going to challenge my own, my own assumptions and my own beliefs and I'm going to challenge everybody in the room. Room. And then you get a few million dollars and you're like, I'm gonna see if I could his dick so hard that out of my ass or whatever.

[B]

Truly. And by the way, those guys are also. Their whole thing is like, well, wouldn't you if you had the opportunity? And I go, no, I would not. No, I would not buy by that.

[A]

No, not, not in. Actually not in a trillion years.

[B]

No, I would not have JD Vance on my podcast. Sorry, I don't know what's not clicking for you, but no, no, I would not do that. No. Oh, you wouldn't do it? Like, you wouldn't like to hold Donald Trump's feet to the fire? No. There's a couple things I'd like to see happen to that guy.

[A]

I'd like to hold.

[B]

None of them are guesting on my podcast. I could list them, but it'll get cut. It's like, no, I would not do that.

[A]

Yeah, I know. I know it is. And I, I don't think there's ever been a. More also. It's like a time, a horrible, obviously time in America, but a time to really make choices about that kind of stuff. And it has never been more fraught or more apparent. Parent that. It's like, this shouldn't be popular. It should not be popular to have these people on your podcast. It should not be popular to. To align with them. It shouldn't be like a. A thing that you're proud of. And it does make me feel insane because it is.

[B]

And I also feel like, yeah, I just feel like, you know, not to talk so much about politics. I guess we're pretty deep into it at this point, but I'm like, yeah, I, I just been. Been thinking a lot lately about, like, I'm actually not going to be made to feel dumb for caring about people.

[A]

No, you can't make me do that.

[B]

I'm not doing it. The number of people on the, on the right that are like, their whole thing is like, you know, I watch JD Vance do these interviews where he's like, sorry, I don't want my kids living next to an immigrant. They might be in a gang. I'm like, you will never make me feel stupid or naive for not being like you.

[A]

It's. It is hysterical. And we are, we are. I'm glad that we're. I'm so glad that this. I mean, glad. I am relieved in a certain way that this moment is coming at this, like, at my ripe old age. Because I'm like, no, I'm so done with people making me feel foolish for shit like that. I'm so. I am so done with people being like, immigrants actually. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. They have a harder life than you have ever even imagined.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Or could imagine for yourself. You are being cruel. Cruelty is not funny to me. It is not cool. It shouldn't be popular. It is a lame ass fucking point of view. And you're right. Nobody from this point onward in our lives is going to look at us and be like, you're actually being foolish. You're being naive. Like, nope, I'm just not a dick. Had.

[B]

Also fine.

[A]

Yeah. Okay.

[B]

I'm dumb.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, I'm dumb. And I have a wonderful life.

[B]

I'm stupid and lovely.

[A]

Yeah. I'm stupid and lovely and a lot of people, I love a lot of people. A lot of people love me. Yeah.

[B]

I don't. I don't believe in borders and. And I'm actually really like trans people. I guess I'm a fucking idiot. I guess I'm a huge what now?

[A]

I guess. I guess the trans people in my life are some of the best people I've ever met. I guess I'm a huge fucking moron.

[B]

I guess You're a genius and your kids don't want to talk to you. So what now? You're gonna. You're gonna die on your deathbed alone.

[A]

You're gonna die in your deathbed alone.

[B]

Or with your ugly wife and you're fucking.

[A]

You're staying with your ugly ass wife and you're standing a guy who is literally on the Internet being like, I defend this young man who says that race mixing is bad. And it's like, dude, you're, you're like, it goes against every. Your wife is. Is an Indian woman that shit like blue. Sorry. Now I'm just talking circle. That blew my mind. Where he was like, we can forgive this little Doge kid for saying that he thinks that interracial coupling is bad.

[B]

Yeah. You know what? The kid who said it, J.D. vance and his wife. Yeah.

[A]

Literally all of them.

[B]

She's complicit. That's a, that's, that's another thing I'm tired of is this. These right wing guys, wives getting passes where they're like, she's probably scared to speak up. It's like, no, she's evil too. So that as well.

[A]

They do it with Melania all the time where they're like, look at how fed up she is with him. I'm like, what? Yeah, she probably hates his ass. Of course. He's a repugnant human being. But she stuck around.

[B]

She's like rubbing his shoulders while he writes executive orders.

[A]

Exactly, exactly. Exactly. She's like, trans people don't exist. That's exactly.

[B]

Fuck. And all these people like, yeah, the, the people that are trying to take pity on J.D. vance's wife. That bitch.

[A]

Ridiculous. It is ridiculous and it's infantilizing and it's sexist.

[B]

Yeah. Actually, I'm pro women because I hate her. It's stupid. She has autonomy. She could have left him. It would have had a big impact at any juncture.

[A]

She could have made a show to America by being like, this guy fucking sucks. And he doesn't stand up for me, and he doesn't stand up for our children. And he's a weak, weak, little, spineless piece of.

[B]

And I'm out.

[A]

And I'm out. And I would have praised her for that. I don't praise her for sitting up. I don't praise her for standing.

[B]

Like, she can't do it now, though. That's the other thing is we have to. Yeah. We can't let them back in after too long.

[A]

How do you mean?

[B]

Like, if she had done. If she had done the big stand, I. What I don't want is for her to think in a couple years that she can come back over.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[B]

Normal people will have back any time. Yeah, regular working class people will have you back anytime, any moment. Any people that were like figureheads of the right wing movement. I'm like, we're not having you back.

[A]

No, it's not going to happen.

[B]

You got to go to jail.

[A]

You're on the deus at the inauguration. You made a big choice. It is so infantilizing that they do that with the, the spouses of these.

[B]

It drives me insane.

[A]

It really is stupid.

[B]

And it's, it's always. They're never doing it to, like, Sarah Huckabee Sanders husband.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

It's all. It's misogyny. And it's always the women that they're like, that Leftist people are like, well, who even knows what she thinks? I'm like, I can tell you exactly what she thinks. And it's what he thinks. Yeah, she's married to him, you psycho.

[A]

It's not. Yeah, it's not like she like, like threw her hat in the ring the moment that he was going to be VP or something. I was like, she's been around this toad for long enough.

[B]

She's also a loser.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Like what? I also. Yeah, I found it kind of. I kind of found it. Same thing with the ads that were like, your husband doesn't get to go in the voting booth with you. I'm like, these people.

[A]

That shit was so.

[B]

Are getting horny on this.

[A]

That was. Oh. First of all, the overt sexuality of those ads was extremely confusing to me. What the fuck are you. I'm making eyes at the woman above the thing. I'm like we just go fudge in the bathroom.

[B]

Those ads are also a Democrat.

[A]

I'm gay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That was so infantilizing, though. Just like, you don't have to tell your man. Are there people, Are there, like really far right guys in America who are, you know, abusive and violent? Of course. But it's like that shouldn't be the. The message should be like, you should be able to talk to your husband about who you're fucking voting for, or else you shouldn't be in a marriage with him. What are you talking about?

[B]

Hello?

[A]

What are you talking about? I'm not a baby.

[B]

And guess. Guess what, speaking of misogyny, you have to play a game. We have a segment for you. Okay, okay. This is a true or false segment. I'm Gonna read you 15 statements.

[A]

Oh, I'm stupid though. Do you know that?

[B]

Well, you're not stupid. You're so pretty. You're gonna tell me as quickly as you can. Laura, if you think what I've said is true or false, I'm ready. And if you get 10 or more correct, we're gonna give you 50 US dollars.

[A]

USD.

[B]

USD.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

In fact, are you ready?

[A]

Oh, titty God.

[B]

Titty God. Cartoon Network was started in 1950.

[A]

False. False.

[B]

It was 1992. Fish oil is not edible for humans.

[A]

False.

[B]

False. A hummingbird weighs less than a penny.

[A]

True.

[B]

True. And Nashville used to be named Fort Nashwood.

[A]

False.

[B]

False. It was for Nashboro. Margot Robbie is from New Zealand.

[A]

False.

[B]

False. Australia. There are no reply. There are no reptiles in Antarctica.

[A]

True.

[B]

True. There are 52 cards in a standard deck of playing cards.

[A]

True.

[B]

True. Steak is the official state food of Texas.

[A]

True.

[B]

False.

[A]

Damn it.

[B]

Fuck you.

[A]

Fuck you.

[B]

Fuck you.

[A]

You idiot.

[B]

It's chilly. No, you're doing incredible. This is crazy. Chance you did a bad job on these ones. The Purple Mask Players is the theater club at Father Ryan High school.

[A]

True.

[B]

True. YouTube comes pre installed on all Android phones.

[A]

True.

[B]

True. Anthony Davis plays for the Los Angeles Lake Acres.

[A]

True.

[B]

False.

[A]

Oh, God, I knew that one.

[B]

You did it good on that one.

[A]

I knew that one.

[B]

Grizzly bears run as fast as the average horse.

[A]

It's true.

[B]

True. The state motto of Rhode island is, out of one comes many.

[A]

Sure. True.

[B]

False. It's hope.

[A]

It's just the worst hope. Okay?

[B]

Johnny Knoxville graduated from the University of Tennessee.

[A]

False. I think.

[B]

False.

[A]

Yeah, because where do you go? You teach Chattanooga.

[B]

Don't have it, but maybe.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Pearls dissolve in vinegar.

[A]

False.

[B]

True. You did what? 12. How'd she do? 11. 11. 50. Us you were on a historic run.

[A]

There, by the way. I mean, what, the first? Like seven or eight?

[B]

I don't think you got one wrong. Until Texas. Yeah, you got.

[A]

Yeah, you got so many guys really proud of you.

[B]

I didn't know a woman could do that.

[A]

And from the South.

[B]

You know what? That changed my perspective today.

[A]

Hey, that's what I'm here to do.

[B]

That was beautiful. Zoom in on that. Zoom on that right there. Well, I love you. Where can the people find you?

[A]

Find me on Instagra at Lara Peak. Comedy LA U R A P E E K And you can see all my dates. I'm going on tour. I would love to see you there.

[B]

Go see Laura on tour. We love you so much.

[A]

I love you too. Thanks for doing it. This is great for having me.

[B]

Sorry we talked about politics so much.

[A]

I love it. I like talking about politics.

[B]

Do you think the listeners will like it?

[A]

I hope so. If they're leftist. Piece of. If they're leftist, they're little lefties.

[B]

Most of my fans are right wing. That's why I have to bring it up.

[A]

So crazy that you've amassed such a right wing base. How did that even happen?

[B]

Well, I mostly agree with him in private. That was a headgum podcast.