Lea DeLaria Paved The Way

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Lea DeLaria Paved The Way" on So True with Caleb Hearon

Podcast Information:

• Title: So True with Caleb Hearon
• Host/Author: Headgum
• Episode: Lea DeLaria Paved The Way
• Release Date: May 22, 2025
• Description: A weekly podcast hosted by beloved gay comedian Caleb Hearon, focusing on unpacking and identifying what’s truly real in various aspects of life.

---

Introduction and Early Career Beginnings

The episode kicks off with Caleb Heron warmly welcoming guest Lea DeLaria, a trailblazing comedian and actress known for her role in Orange is the New Black. Lea shares anecdotes from her early days, highlighting her move from St. Louis to San Francisco in 1980. She recounts how attending the Valencia Rose, a pivotal queer community hub, inadvertently launched her comedy career.

Notable Quote:

Lea DeLaria [02:20]: "Valencia Rose was definitely a kind of a queer community house. It was such many things happened there. There was art, there was all this stuff. It was queer people hanging out before we really had community centers."

---

Transition to Stand-Up Comedy

Lea describes her initial struggles with stand-up comedy, noting that her first attempt received a lukewarm response. However, encouraged by her peers, she persisted and soon became a fixture in San Francisco’s queer comedy scene. By September 1980, just five months after her first 15-minute set on April 20th, she quit her day job to pursue comedy full-time.

Notable Quote:

Lea DeLaria [05:48]: "I haven't had a day job since September 1980."

---

Breaking Barriers in Television

In 1993, Lea made history by appearing on The Arsenio Hall Show as the first openly gay comic on American television. This breakthrough propelled her onto the international stage, allowing her to tour extensively across English-speaking countries. Her appearances on major platforms underscored her role in paving the way for LGBTQ+ representation in comedy.

Notable Quote:

Lea DeLaria [08:37]: "I was the first openly gay comic on television in America. And once I did that, it set me on the road all over the world."

---

Challenges and Industry Insights

Lea delves into the hardships faced by LGBTQ+ performers, particularly concerning residuals from Orange is the New Black. She highlights the disparity in compensation between streaming services and traditional network shows, emphasizing how groundbreaking shows often exploit actors without adequate financial rewards.

Notable Quote:

Lea DeLaria [34:28]: "We were the original getting fucked. We literally... that was because... we were a show that was women, and a lot of non-white women. Yeah, also part of it."

This segment underscores the ongoing struggle within the entertainment industry for fair compensation and recognition, especially for marginalized communities.

---

Personal Stories and Friendships

A heartfelt portion of the conversation centers on Lea's friendship with actor Jesse Tyler Ferguson. She shares a humorous yet poignant story about an emergency room visit, illustrating the depth and resilience of their friendship.

Notable Quote:

Lea DeLaria [24:19]: "Jesse was trying to pull me up, and it's not working. And I'm naked, and I'm screaming. And he goes, what should I do? And I said, I think we have to call 911."

Their camaraderie highlights the supportive networks that often underpin successful careers in entertainment.

---

Current Projects and Future Endeavors

Lea discusses her ongoing projects, including the Outrage Tour and a forthcoming special titled Leah DeLaria is Hysterical, envisioned as an off-Broadway musical. She also touches on her recent hysterectomy and how it has influenced her creative work.

Notable Quote:

Lea DeLaria [37:03]: "I'm writing a show about it. The Outrage Tour is about what the fuck is going on in our country right now. But while I'm doing the Outrage Tour, I'm putting together this special that in my mind is gonna be probably an off-Broadway musical."

Additionally, she shares her experiences grappling with long COVID, showcasing her resilience and dedication to her craft despite personal health challenges.

---

Industry Advocacy and Strikes

Lea passionately advocates for fair treatment of writers and actors, recounting her support during the writers' strike. She emphasizes the importance of solidarity in fighting systemic inequities within the industry.

Notable Quote:

Lea DeLaria [36:12]: "I always feel that the writers and the actors get screwed more than anybody else in our industry. That's why when the writers went on strike, I walked the picket line with the writers."

---

Fun and Lighthearted Moments

The episode is peppered with humorous exchanges, including debates over pineapple on pizza and playful banter about personal quirks. These moments offer a glimpse into the lighthearted rapport between Caleb and Lea, adding warmth and relatability to the conversation.

Notable Quote:

Lea DeLaria [47:06]: "A U haul."

Caleb Heron [32:18]: "What does a lesbian bring to a second date?"

Lea DeLaria [32:14]: "A U haul."

---

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

As the episode wraps up, Lea shares her aspirations to diversify her roles further, expressing excitement about portraying a gay man in future projects. Her relentless pursuit of authentic representation underscores her commitment to evolving the landscape of LGBTQ+ media.

Notable Quote:

Lea DeLaria [58:07]: "I'm dying for somebody to write me an original musical part, you know, for me. Something for me, just original that doesn't exist right now that I'm dying for."

Caleb and Lea conclude with a heartfelt exchange, reinforcing the mutual respect and admiration that define their friendship.

---

Key Takeaways

• Trailblazing Representation: Lea DeLaria’s journey highlights significant strides in LGBTQ+ representation within comedy and television, setting the stage for future generations.

• Industry Challenges: The conversation sheds light on systemic issues related to residuals and fair compensation, advocating for better treatment of writers and actors.

• Personal Resilience: Lea’s anecdotes reveal her resilience in the face of personal and professional challenges, showcasing her enduring passion for performance.

• Future Aspirations: Her commitment to expanding the types of roles she plays underscores a dedication to diverse and authentic storytelling.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• [02:20] Lea DeLaria: "Valencia Rose was definitely a kind of a queer community house. It was such many things happened there."

• [05:48] Lea DeLaria: "I haven't had a day job since September 1980."

• [08:37] Lea DeLaria: "I was the first openly gay comic on television in America."

• [24:19] Lea DeLaria: "Jesse was trying to pull me up, and it's not working. And I'm naked, and I'm screaming."

• [34:28] Lea DeLaria: "We were the original getting fucked. We literally... we were a show that was women, and a lot of non-white women."

• [36:12] Lea DeLaria: "I always feel that the writers and the actors get screwed more than anybody else in our industry."

• [58:07] Lea DeLaria: "I'm dying for somebody to write me an original musical part."

---

This episode of So True with Caleb Hearon offers a deep dive into Lea DeLaria’s influential career, her personal experiences, and her unwavering advocacy for equitable treatment in the entertainment industry. Through engaging storytelling and candid discussions, listeners gain valuable insights into the challenges and triumphs of a pioneering LGBTQ+ comedian.

Transcript

[Caleb Heron]

This is a headgum podcast.

[Leah Delaria]

Because you were getting X rays, we need to make sure that you weren't pregnant.

[Caleb Heron]

I could have solved that problem for you.

[Leah Delaria]

Well, what I said was, take a.

[Caleb Heron]

Look at my hair cut.

[Leah Delaria]

Honey, honey, if I'm pregnant, I'm changing my name to Mary and taking to riding donkeys is what I said. And about six months ago, I pulled out all my late 90s sunglasses. I've been wearing them ever since.

[Caleb Heron]

It's back, baby.

[Leah Delaria]

Happily.

[Caleb Heron]

Well, Leah, I'm so glad that you're here. Thank you for doing this.

[Leah Delaria]

Thanks for having me, Caleb.

[Caleb Heron]

It's so exciting. I'm such a.

[Leah Delaria]

Who named you Caleb? Who named you Caleb?

[Caleb Heron]

Well, you know, my mom, who was.

[Leah Delaria]

Into the Bible, of course, because, I mean, that's the only place you're going to find a Caleb. And that. And Seven Brides for seven Brothers.

[Caleb Heron]

Uhhuh.

[Leah Delaria]

You know, she.

[Caleb Heron]

Well, she says she picked it because it means bold, which. Which we'll take. And she's a. She's a nice lady, but she. We. I grew up in Missouri. And you're chill coffee up north.

[Leah Delaria]

Oh, I'm from St. Louis.

[Caleb Heron]

We from Belleville.

[Leah Delaria]

Well, I'm from Belleville, which is. Yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

Outside.

[Leah Delaria]

But you say. You say St. Louis because people are like. If you say Illinois, people automatically go to Chicago.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They take you to Chicago, but in fact, you're from just outside St. Louis.

[Leah Delaria]

Right.

[Caleb Heron]

And you spend a lot of time there, right. In St. Louis going. Is that where you were, like, hanging out when you were growing up?

[Leah Delaria]

I left so fast. No, I was, I was. I left home when I was. Let's see, that would have been 22. So. Yeah, I left home when I was. And went to San Francisco in 1980. But yeah, as a little gay kid. Yeah. I was growing up in St. Louis.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah. And you went to San Francisco when you were 22 to do comedy?

[Leah Delaria]

I just. It happened. It wasn't that I went there to do comedy. It just sort of happened. And mostly because the Valencia Rose was this club that was opened by Ron Lanza and they started doing this thing. They were gay comedy night. Like, they had a little open mic night that was for queers. Valencia Rose was definitely a kind of a queer community house. It was such. So many things happened there. There was art, there was all this stuff. It was queer people hanging out. You know, before we really had community centers.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

So they started doing this Monday night gay comedy night. And so I was like, oh, that's interesting, because I was writing plays at the time. And they were comedies, of course. And I. So I went, oh, I'm gonna. I'm gonna go take a look at that. Right. And it was like, where are the comics? There were, like, lesbians with acoustic guitars. And like, there was a fucking mime. There was a fucking mime. Why would. Why would a mime show up anywhere where people wear T shirts? Silence equals death.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

So it was like, I mean, what the fuck? So I was like, you know, there was one comic, his name was Tom Amiano. He was the host of the show. Tom was very good. And I just thought, fuck this. And you could see him, he's like, oh, it's mine. It's all this. So the next week I went and I just tried out some material.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

And all my peers say, no, you didn't. I killed the first time I read it.

[Caleb Heron]

You did.

[Leah Delaria]

I bet you did. All my peers, every comic of my generation, from Dave to, like, all of us that we all know each other, they. They all tanked the first time they did it.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

And I. Rosie o' Donnell, went so far as to actually be stealing Jerry Seinfeld's material. First time she was on stage because she didn't know that was a no. No.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

She didn't know. You weren't supposed.

[Caleb Heron]

A lot of people do that when they start out. They'll just do, like, their favorite jokes up there.

[Leah Delaria]

Imagine, Rosie, you suck, you asshole. But, like, she talks about it openly, so I'm not like letting it out or anything, but yeah, I fucking killed. They were. You weren't supposed to do. You're supposed to do, like, no more than, I want to say, six minutes or something. And when it was close to the time, they would. Instead of bringing out a hook or whatever, they'd say, telephone call. Telephone call. And they let me just stay on stage for 15 minutes.

[Caleb Heron]

You did 15 minutes the first time you got up there.

[Leah Delaria]

15 minutes. Good God, it was insane.

[Caleb Heron]

That's nuts.

[Leah Delaria]

Yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

So then after that, you just. Did you just start doing stand up kind of all over the city or. What was the.

[Leah Delaria]

What happened then was Then Tom went, you want to host this with me? So I hosted it with him.

[Caleb Heron]

Smart. And.

[Leah Delaria]

And then I said to Tom, we should do. We are now starting to get all these comics that are pretty fucking good and we need to do another night. That's not an open mic where nobody's getting paid except us because we were the hosts. That. Where we can pay these comics. And so we started doing. So we had gay open mic Comedy every Monday and gay comedy night every Saturday night at the Valencia Rose. And he and I would switch off hosting. Although we would, you know, tag. Tag team Monday. We would tag team Monday. That we did together. And by basically by September, I did. You love this. It was April 20th, so it was 4:20, 1980. The first time I did that 15 minutes. It was. That was so long ago. We didn't even call it 4 20. 420 wasn't a thing. Right. You know what I mean? It wasn't a fucking thing. But it was 4:20. And by September of that year, I quit my day job and was supporting myself solely as a standup comic.

[Caleb Heron]

So without. But from April, doing your first set, 15 minutes, which is psycho right to September, you're full time doing comedy.

[Leah Delaria]

Yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

That's nuts.

[Leah Delaria]

Yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

What the fuck?

[Leah Delaria]

I know, it's crazy. So I haven't had a day job since September 1980.

[Caleb Heron]

What is. What do you. How. How are you paying? What is. Okay. What is paying your bills full time with comedy at that time? Look like, are you mostly in San Francisco or are you on the road by then?

[Leah Delaria]

I was in San Francisco and on the road. So, I mean, I didn't. The problem with San Francisco was that was it. You know what I mean? There weren't that many places. I performed at a lot of dyke bars and a lot of bars and a lot of cabaret kind of places. The kind of material that I was doing, it wouldn't go. Comedy clubs just didn't work. It just didn't fucking work. I tried, but, you know, I'd be like having to deal with people heckling me. Cause I was wearing a tie, you know what I mean? And anybody that's ever seen me do stand up. You are so fucking stupid if you try to heckle me. That is just. You are just asking for death. Are you fucking kidding me? I mean, I got a mouth, right? And that's the other thing. My comedy, that's how I was able to do 15 minutes. It's all very improvisational. When you see me, I mean, I know I'm going to talk about something and then I just start talking. And so that was how I got to 15 minutes. It wasn't like I even had material that I was planning on doing. I just knew I was gonna talk about this, this, this and that. That's how it went. So at a comedy club, it'd just be me dealing with the insults. It's like, can I. I'd like to do a set, you know. So I found that If I went to the queer bars and the cabaret kind of houses, that'd be great. Then I went to. What happened was I came to New York City and I did a set at Don't Tell Mamas. And a woman who owned a nightclub in Provincetown, Massachusetts was in the house and she walked up and she said, we don't really have any lesbians in P Town.

[Caleb Heron]

No shit.

[Leah Delaria]

Well, we didn't. We didn't then. Now there's a ton. But back then, she goes, we don't have any real. There aren't really a lot of lesbians. There were actually a lot of lesbians who went there. There were just no lesbian performers. But I don't know if it'll work. You want to come try it? So I came and the first show I had, there were two people in my audience. Right. Like it. We're just. We're gonna work this out. So those two people told their friends. And then by honestly, after a couple of weeks, I was selling out every show. 100 dykes and are coming to my show.

[Caleb Heron]

Every.

[Leah Delaria]

Every show. And everybody at that time. So we're talking 1982. Right. So that was the place that everybody went for. If you were queer, you went to Provincetown. So that really made me kind of a household name with queers in Canada and America. And that's when I was really touring. I went on major tour, and then it was 93 that I did the Arsenio Hall Show.

[Caleb Heron]

You're the first openly gay comic to do late night.

[Leah Delaria]

Yeah, well, actually, television period in America, we pushed the late night because it's more prestigious. It just is. But the reality was that I was the first openly gay comic on television in America. And then once I did that, that set me on the road all over the world. Every English speaking country in the world.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

And so that happened.

[Caleb Heron]

You know what? Not to ask you a what was it, how was it back then? Question, but I am going to.

[Leah Delaria]

Oh, please do.

[Caleb Heron]

But you know, I. Being gay is such a huge. I don't think about it much. It's just my. It's just what I talk about up there.

[Leah Delaria]

Yeah, you. You should get down on your hands.

[Caleb Heron]

And knees and kiss our feet for.

[Leah Delaria]

What we've given you Here she goes, just once, I'd like you to get a little bit of the discrimination that I had to deal.

[Caleb Heron]

You climbed uphill both ways in the snow.

[Leah Delaria]

Yeah, motherfucker. But I did.

[Caleb Heron]

I know you did.

[Leah Delaria]

You fucking. I didn't even start this shit. They have, like, gay. They have like gay clubs in high school. You know, I had a club in high school for lesbians. It was PE.

[Caleb Heron]

You got arrested. You got arrested for open, notorious homosexuality in my home state, Missouri.

[Leah Delaria]

And in Illinois.

[Caleb Heron]

What the hell does that mean? So what happened?

[Leah Delaria]

You were just lesbian in public in Illinois. I got busted for. I was holding a girl's hand. You and walking down the street in Missouri. I was doing a whole lot more than holding her hand. What?

[Caleb Heron]

They walked in on you eating pussy?

[Leah Delaria]

What's going on? We were by a lake. That's all I'm gonna say.

[Caleb Heron]

Where in Missouri was this?

[Leah Delaria]

Columbia. Oh, come on.

[Caleb Heron]

You were allowed to be gay over there? No.

[Leah Delaria]

Oh, it's Stevens College.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

Okay, so here's the story.

[Caleb Heron]

I'm not Steven College.

[Leah Delaria]

Here's the skinny. Here's the skinny. So my best friend went to Stevens College, right. I did not go to college, so.

[Caleb Heron]

Well, you went for five minutes, right?

[Leah Delaria]

I went for five minutes and left. It was boring. It was too boring for me. So what I would do is I would go visit her basically every weekend.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

So I basically was a student at Stevens College.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

I mean, if you are what you eat. I was a student at Stevens College.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah, I bet you were real popular at Stevens College.

[Leah Delaria]

Gobbled those girls down, man. It was so much fun. Which is why I was there every weekend. Every weekend to visit my best friend. And she never saw me. I just dropped the suitcase.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah. And then went on a pussy tour. Yeah. Good Lord. So you got arrested in Colombia?

[Leah Delaria]

Yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

Did they take you to jail?

[Leah Delaria]

Yeah, I was bailed out the next morning. It was not a crime that I got. Got like, a major fine for. I didn't have to go to in front of a judge or anything like that.

[Caleb Heron]

Did you at least get a cool mug shot out of it?

[Leah Delaria]

I hope so. I assume so. We gotta look up the record. I don't remember.

[Caleb Heron]

We gotta find it.

[Leah Delaria]

We tried to find the record. We tried to find some of these records, and these records are so old that a lot of the ones in the one that happened in Illinois, it burnt down. Like the courthouse where all these records were burnt down.

[Caleb Heron]

Jesus.

[Leah Delaria]

So that was gone?

[Caleb Heron]

That one's out of there?

[Leah Delaria]

Yeah. Yeah, that was gone.

[Caleb Heron]

Good Lord. Did the other girl get arrested?

[Leah Delaria]

Oh, yeah, we were both arrested.

[Caleb Heron]

Oh, nice. Okay, that's fair.

[Leah Delaria]

We were both arrested. We got. They put us in separate cells, though. Like, they thought, what, am I going to continue eating her pussy in prison? Got to put us in separate cells.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That was smart of them.

[Leah Delaria]

Yeah. Fucking ridiculous.

[Caleb Heron]

That is so funny. Well, I have been a huge fan of yours for such a long time, but I. I knew you before Orange is the New Black. But Orange is New Black was where I really spent a lot of time watching you.

[Leah Delaria]

Yeah. That's when everything exploded. I've had. Like I said, I've had three feeding frenzies in my life. The first one was Arsenio and the second one was on the Town. That was when the whole Broadway world opened up for me and I became the. I was the toast of New York for a while. And then Orange is a New Black, which. And I, you know, I've been moderately famous my entire life. I've always said, for me, it was a long climb to the middle.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

Right. You know, and then Orange is a New Black Explosion.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

So I can't. Yeah. I can't go anywhere getting my picture taken a thousand times.

[Caleb Heron]

Did you ever imagine when you were growing up in Belleville, were you like, yeah, I'm going to be a big famous comedian.

[Leah Delaria]

Yes, I did. I knew it.

[Caleb Heron]

I knew it.

[Leah Delaria]

Not a comedian. But I always want. I'm doing what I wanted to do my whole life, you know, was to perform.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

In whatever way that may be. It just so happens that comedy took me there.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

You know, so great.

[Caleb Heron]

So after Arsenio, you start kind of this. That's Arsenio's 93.

[Leah Delaria]

Yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

And you start touring around. All over the place.

[Leah Delaria]

All over the place. I did. I did like the Edinburgh Festival and won Best of the Fest. And then they have another festival in Wellington, New Zealand. I won the Best of Fest there. I did a big tour of Australia. I've been to Australia a bunch of times and do the Five Cities and England. And I actually did live in England for about a decade. I had a place in England and a place in New York and was going back and forth constantly.

[Caleb Heron]

You were in London or where in London?

[Leah Delaria]

Just outside of London, in a place called Northwood, which is west of Wembley. Most people know it because it's next to Pinner, where Elton John was born. But I like Pinner because there's a pub there called the Queen's Head and it has different ales every Friday. So I was there usually every Friday, trying one of the new ales.

[Caleb Heron]

Nice. Why'd you stop doing that? Why'd you stop the back and forth?

[Leah Delaria]

Well, first, because my girlfriend and I split up, so she lives in the house that we. That we own together, and God bless her. Enjoy your life. You know, we're dykes. So we're friends.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah. Talking on the phone every day, sending flowers.

[Leah Delaria]

It's culturally a lesbian thing. You know, you keep your exes around. That way you can, you know, you can borrow a backpack in any color to go with any outfit.

[Caleb Heron]

It's funny how those things. Nothing has changed. Every lesbian I know, fucking 20 year old lesbians, 70 year old lesbians. Some of those things are just like. That's how it is with y' all. Y' all are over there being friends with your exes in a crazy way.

[Leah Delaria]

I know. I had this young dyke come up. We were going into the cubby hole and she started to go in and then she turned around and she goes, I can't go in there. And I said, why? And she said, my ex is in there. And I went, bitch, let me know when 10 of them are in there. And I walked in, I was like, you gotta be kidding me. One ex is in there?

[Caleb Heron]

Level up, rookie. That's crazy.

[Leah Delaria]

Crazy. Come on, let's go now. Yeah, yeah. I had that conversation with. I've always been the bad girl. Dyke comedy. I think everybody knows that. I've always been kind of the badass. Kate Clinton was always the good girl.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

Kate and I are really good friends, by the way. So I've always said, kate, why don't you please just be like you are off stage, on stage once. Just do it once. Just be mean once. But Kate had a party and it was all these, like, dyke performers that were there. And they started talking about how many times they'd had sex with how many different people. And my head was exploding because they were like, oh, I think I've had sex with six women. What?

[Caleb Heron]

Which day?

[Leah Delaria]

I've had sex with more than six women in two hours. Are you kidding me? I know. And then Kate. Because I guess I must have been making quite a face because Kate looked at me and she said, it's in the thousands, isn't it, Leah? And I went, yeah, Kate, it is.

[Caleb Heron]

And you were dodging the cops while you were doing it.

[Leah Delaria]

That's us. Thank you.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah, we got to put some respect on your name. I understand. I'm gonna start spreading the word. Leah was really about it. That is so funny. So you were. Okay, so when. Help me understand the timeline. You're in San Francisco in the 80s.

[Leah Delaria]

Yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

And then how long do you stay there? And then where do you go?

[Leah Delaria]

Well, once I started doing Provincetown. Let's see. We were. We were kind of. We were in San Francisco. We went to Provincetown to do the gig there. Then we kind of said we liked New York. So we were. We were in New York for a minute and doing Provincetown. And then the. My comedy partner was actually my girlfriend. We split up, so she went back to San Francisco and. And I basically did Provincetown, Boston.

[Caleb Heron]

Gotcha.

[Leah Delaria]

Yeah. But only for a couple years because 93 was when I went to LA after Arsenio. I was in LA.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

Fucking hated it. And I'm just very East Coast. Yeah. Far too east coast for la. I just, you know. Drives me fucking crazy.

[Caleb Heron]

What about it?

[Leah Delaria]

A lot of white people with dreadlocks.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah. You know, I think they've all moved north now. You might be safe these days.

[Leah Delaria]

Yeah, I might be a little safer.

[Caleb Heron]

They're in Seattle and Portland.

[Leah Delaria]

It's just a little. Also, I'm just. I don't have. I remember going into the New York bagel place that's there on Santa Monica Boulevard. What was it? I think it was literally called New York Bagels. Wasn't that the name of it?

[Caleb Heron]

I don't know.

[Leah Delaria]

It was a bagel joint. And I went in there and I was kind of in a hurry, and I went. I went, dut, dut, dut. And the guy by the counter was like, it looks like such a nice day today. It looks so nice out. Is it nice out? It looks really nice.

[Caleb Heron]

Can you go make that fucking bagel?

[Leah Delaria]

Basically put that fucking bagel in a bag.

[Caleb Heron]

God.

[Leah Delaria]

You know, so no time for politeness. I just. Yeah. I'm not. That's. I mean, I fit in here so much better. You know, it's. And I'm kind and nice to people. A lot of people think I'm not, which is interesting. If you talk to me for more than a couple of minutes. You know, I'm actually a pretty decent person and a nice person. I'm not mean. Unless you deserve it.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

And if you deserve it, I'll come at you so fast.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah, I know. I can feel it.

[Leah Delaria]

Yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

I'm scared of you, Caleb.

[Leah Delaria]

You can't be afraid.

[Caleb Heron]

I'm scared of you. No, I'm not.

[Leah Delaria]

You can't be afraid of me.

[Caleb Heron]

I'm not.

[Leah Delaria]

But.

[Caleb Heron]

No. I just want you on my team. I want you on my side. If some. If some shit goes down and you're in the room, I go, please, let me. Let her be on my side.

[Leah Delaria]

Oh, hell, yes.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah. I don't want to be. I don't.

[Leah Delaria]

I'm already on your side.

[Caleb Heron]

I don't want to be against you.

[Leah Delaria]

Because you're a bear, right?

[Caleb Heron]

Sure. Why not?

[Leah Delaria]

Sure.

[Caleb Heron]

Why not?

[Leah Delaria]

Because, you know, I just always say I'm bear adjacent. If. I mean, if. If I was a. I'd be a bear. Because, you know, all they want to do is eat, laugh, and that's just my life right there.

[Caleb Heron]

Wait, that. That is what I want.

[Leah Delaria]

Wait, hold on. You are a bear.

[Caleb Heron]

Hold on. Were you hanging out with a lot of gay guys in San Francisco?

[Leah Delaria]

Yeah. My best friends are still all gay guys.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah. Are they all here?

[Leah Delaria]

No. No. Well, I think famously, people know that Jesse Tyler Ferguson is my best friend. And. Yeah. And he and Justin and I have a ton of gay boyfriends, like, here in the city that I hang out with. All the boys at Titanic are gay. Every stinking one of them. Oh, my God. I just outed Andrew Keenan, Boulder.

[Caleb Heron]

You know, I humiliated myself in front of Jesse.

[Leah Delaria]

When?

[Caleb Heron]

At a game night for Dan Levy's birthday last year. We were. There was like, you know, maybe eight of us, and I. God, it was so humiliating. I misunderstood. We had played a game where maybe it wasn't quite charades, but we had played a game where you. You say out loud what the thing was, and then someone else acts it out. Or basically, there was a part of the game where you say out loud the clue.

[Leah Delaria]

What celebrity? Maybe these are three rounds in the same clues.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

Yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

What is. Okay, so there's one where you're supposed to say it and one where you're not supposed to say it.

[Leah Delaria]

Yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

Well, I thought I was doing the say it round when I was actually supposed to be doing the quiet round. And I got up in front of everybody, and I so confidently just yelled out the thing. And everyone in silence is like. And I ruined the game, of course.

[Leah Delaria]

Yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

And everyone in silence. And then Dan just goes, honey, that's not this round. And I. My reaction was to sprint out of the room. I sprinted to the kitchen. And then, of course, everyone's laughing at me. And that was the first time I had hung out with Jesse. So, Jesse, if you're watching, please don't think less of me. It was humiliating. It was humiliating.

[Leah Delaria]

Trust I can tell you stories that would humiliate the fuck out of Jesse. Oh, tell one.

[Caleb Heron]

Come on, tell one. What's it gonna hurt?

[Leah Delaria]

This is a real. This is a Reader's Digest. I, again, used to live with Jesse when I had my place in England before I got my apartment here. I was in England a lot of the time. So whenever I had to come to New York to do a play, to do a reading, to shoot a television show, whatever it was. I stayed with Jesse. So it was Jesse, me, and Montego Glover, who's a pretty well known Broadway actress. We all live together. And that was a time. So I was coming to town because I was doing a reading of a new musical called Drowsy Chaperone, and Jesse met me for lunch. He was in spelling bee at the time, so was it spelling bee? Yeah, he was in spelling bee. So he. Sorry. He meets me for lunch. We're sitting there, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I. And he's like, okay, I've got to go. And I was like, I got to go to rehearsal. And I stand up and immediately fall to the ground. I had wrenched my back.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

Picking up my suitcase. What happened was I was very. I'm always very careful about that because my bad is my back isn't great. But it was one of those moments where somebody went, oh, my God, your little area. As I was picking up my suitcase, it distracted me, and I went, oh, that. That hurt. Yeah, but it was fine. I sat in the car, went there, blah, blah, blah. Stood up from lunch, fell to my knees. Jesse had to take me to the emergency room because, I mean, I could not move. He goes, okay, I don't have to be at the theater for a couple hours, so let's get you to the emergency room. He gets me to the emergency room, and they're like, we need you to pee in a bottle. Pee in a cup. And I was like, I can't bend over. Jesse Tyler Ferguson.

[Caleb Heron]

No.

[Leah Delaria]

My gay, gay, gay, gay boyfriend held a fucking cup while you pissed in it. While I pissed in it. Jesse. Jesse was like, if you piss on my hand.

[Caleb Heron]

Did you.

[Leah Delaria]

No, of course not. It was like. And it was like. And while it was happening, it was. Jesse, please don't make me laugh. It hurts so bad to laugh. So we're like. And we're laughing. So then we come back, and we come back. We're waiting. I'm like, in this room waiting. And the doc comes in, and he goes, I'm really sorry. You're gonna have to do that again. Something happened, and I had to do it again. So. Poor Jesse.

[Caleb Heron]

Twice.

[Leah Delaria]

No, wait. So he comes back. He comes back after doing spelling bee. At this point, I'd done all the things that I was supposed to do, and they told me that I still strained my back and basically gave me Tylenol. They just gave me Tylenol.

[Caleb Heron]

Well, strained your back. It's like, no, Shit. That's why I'm here. I know I strained you.

[Leah Delaria]

I strained my back, of course. I'm like. I'm having muscle spasms. Just take this tile and I'll go to sleep, and you'll be fine. So I'm in. So I'm in Jesse's bedroom in his bed. Jesse is on a futon that, you know, when I stay there, I would stay in his bed. He would stay on the futon. And I have to pee, by the way. I sleep naked. So this is important. I sleep naked. I always sleep naked. Oh, I have to pee. I kind of pull that. And I can't get up. No, no, I can't get up. It's bad.

[Caleb Heron]

Stop.

[Leah Delaria]

So I went, jesse. And he goes, what? And I was like, I really have to pee. And I honest to God cannot get up. And he goes, okay. So he comes over, And Jesse weighed 30 pounds soaking wet at that time when he was a zygote little guy.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah. Breaking his pocket.

[Leah Delaria]

He was really skinny. Little gu.

[Caleb Heron]

Me.

[Leah Delaria]

Never. So Jesse's trying to pull me up, and it's not working. And I'm naked, and I'm like, screaming. And he goes, what should I do? And I said, I think we have to call 91 1. So. Yes, we have to call 911. So he calls 91 1. And I'm laying there in bed, and he's like, running around. He's, like, putting on clothes. He's fixing his hair. I'm like, what are you fucking doing? He goes, leah, firemen are coming. You know, I've never told this story before, by the way. I have never told this story before.

[Caleb Heron]

I can just picture him so frantic.

[Leah Delaria]

I mean, just frantic. The fire. And so a truck pulls up. The sirens are going. The whole thing. Yes. Two big firemen come in, and they're like, Jesse's in a French maid costume.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

Basically.

[Caleb Heron]

He'S like, she's in there, boys.

[Leah Delaria]

I mean, so funny. So they're like. They. Firemen are able to get me up, but again, I really have to pee. So Jesse has to help me into the bathroom to help me pee because I can't get myself down. And then he has to dress me. And then they put me on a gurney and they take me to the next hospital where once again, I'm asked to pee in a cup.

[Caleb Heron]

Stop it.

[Leah Delaria]

So now this is the fourth time that Jesse has had to deal with urine urination for me.

[Caleb Heron]

Do they not have nurses in these fucking hospitals?

[Leah Delaria]

Well, that was what I'm like. Somebody I can't do this. Somebody has to do it. And they looked at him and said, can you do it? It's like they didn't have a nurse.

[Caleb Heron]

Do we have a fucking LPN in this hospital? Good Lord.

[Leah Delaria]

Fucking crazy, right? So we go through the whole thing, and the doctor says, you are horribly misdiagnosed. You have sprained your back. It is bad. You'll have to sleep sitting up. These are the pills you're gonna have to take. I had to leave. I couldn't do drowsy chaperone. I didn't even make it to the first fucking rehearsal. I had to, like, I'm out of drowsy chaperone. I can't move. Jesse's now sleeping in his bed. I'm in the chair that the food time that he was in because I have to sleep, like, sitting up and everything, like, all this is happening. And just before we leave the hospital, I say, why did I have to pee in a cup so many times? And they said, because you were getting X rays, we need to make sure that you weren't pregnant.

[Caleb Heron]

I could have solved that problem.

[Leah Delaria]

What I said was, take a look at my hair cut, honey. Honey, if I'm pregnant, I'm changing my name to Mary and taking to riding donkeys is what I said. Which Jesse almost peed his pants. He was so pissed about the. At first. And then when I said that Jesse almost peed his pants. Meanwhile, this is the. This was the day he went in. That very fucking day. He was going in for the class. He was auditioning for the class that day. And like, he. Instead of he being. Getting his sleep or whatever, he stayed up with me all night. He went and he got dressed and did the audition and got the part, as we all know. But the best part is we get home, we're going like Jesse's. We got the medication. He gets me in the chair he puts up. Then Montego wakes up with her little eye mask on, walks in her little baby doll pajamas, which is another reason why I love staying at that apartment. Montego walks in with her little baby doll pajamas on her little eye mask, and she's like this, how are you guys? Did you sleep well? And we're like, montego, there was a fucking ambulance out front. There were firemen in here. I was screaming like I was being murdered by an axe murderer. And you slept. She goes, there were not firemen in here. And she was like. She slept through the whole fucking thing.

[Caleb Heron]

That is nuts, right? That is completely insane.

[Leah Delaria]

Crazy story.

[Caleb Heron]

And you Know what? Jesse doesn't come out looking so bad and all that. He looks like a really good friend.

[Leah Delaria]

Oh, he's. He's the one of the best friends I've ever had in my life.

[Caleb Heron]

But knowing that he held your piss cup is a little embarrassing, for sure.

[Leah Delaria]

Oh, absolutely. More than once.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah. Multiple of your pisscups.

[Leah Delaria]

And got me dressed.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

And got me. Put me on his toilet. I mean, while he was fixing his hair because the firemen were coming.

[Caleb Heron]

I love that so much.

[Leah Delaria]

Oh, so funny. But that was. It was like when he went, leah, firemen are coming. I was like, please. It hurts so bad. It hurts so bad.

[Caleb Heron]

Oh, that is so funny. Yeah, I can. I can picture the two of you. Y' all know how much I love a comfy couch or a comfy chair. Having the right furniture is a key ingredient to turning a house into a home. So I want to talk to you about my friends at Cozy, whose motto is everyday home furnishings made easy. Cozy is built for real life. Their pieces are modern, adaptable, and worry free. And they're designed to make your day to day feel a little lighter. Just like me. With functional innovation at every step. And if you're like me and can barely assemble a house of cards, let alone a coffee table, don't worry. Cozy provides easy assembly, easy mix and match, and versatile multifunctional style that adapts to you. Cozy helps you open up new home possibilities. Furniture shopping should be an exciting experience. Cozy helps make the whole process, from shopping to purchasing to setup, an absolute breeze. Cozy is dedicated to the idea of easy everything and offers modular design options so your furniture can change with each season that life brings you. Mix and match different styles and colors, Swap out the old and add in the new with stylish selections and design assistants to help you as you explore new options on your personal interior design journey. Transform your living space today with cozy. Visit cozy.com that's C O Z E Y.com the home of possibilities made easy. Okay, we are back and better than ever with our friends at Alma. Today's episode is brought to you by Alma, a regular advertiser here on our program. We love and respect y' all. Alma is on a mission to simplify access to high quality, affordable mental health care. Alma has built a community of over 20,000 diverse therapists. Therapists on the platform offer both in person and virtual care. While online tools and resources can be a useful starting point or supplement, human relationships are an irreplaceable part of mental health care. ALMA can help you Find someone who will work with you on your specific needs and goals and support you in making real progress in improving your mental health. ALMA also makes things real simple to find a therapist. Some people turn to impersonal online resources like forums or chatbots because they think finding a therapist is expensive and difficult. The directory makes it easy to find therapists that take your insurance and meet your unique needs with filters like gender, race, therapeutic approach, and more. Know the cost of your sessions up front using Alma's Cost Estimator tool. At Alma, 97% of therapists accept insurance, including United, Aetna, Cigna, and more. Some of my favorite brands in the healthcare space. For real, y' all. Better with people, better with Alma. Visit hello Alma.com so true. To get started and schedule a free consultation today. That's hello A l M a dot com S O dash T R U E. Thank you, guys. The you. It makes sense to you hang out with gay guys because you have one of my favorite jokes of all time. I don't know, a lot of lesbians listen to this show, and I don't know how many of them are familiar with this fact, but you have one of my favorite jokes of all time, which is, what does a lesbian bring to a second date?

[Leah Delaria]

A U haul.

[Caleb Heron]

And then the follow up, what does a gay guy bring to a second date?

[Leah Delaria]

What's second date? Yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

I mean, that is so fucking funny. And you originated the fucking U haul.

[Leah Delaria]

That is. Yeah, I wrote the U haul joke. And we keep trying to get U haul to hire me to be the face of you.

[Caleb Heron]

Just you like this on the side of every U haul truck.

[Leah Delaria]

They will, you know, just let me do it. Do a U haul commercial. Let's do it. I can do it on my Instagram. What you. I've got like, well over a million followers. You want, let's do a U haul commercial. Yeah, Come on, you all. Let's do it. Eat this for gay pride. Let's do it for gay pride.

[Caleb Heron]

Just pop up in the back, a bunch of lesbians run out. It'll be fun.

[Leah Delaria]

Oh, my God. So funny. But yeah, that's. That's a joke. It's like me. I wish when you wrote a joke, you got residuals. That's all I'm gonna say.

[Caleb Heron]

Wish they sent you a check in the mail every once in a while, right? Well, the orange is new. Black residuals have to be pretty good, no? Are they not?

[Leah Delaria]

You know we went on strike over this, right?

[Caleb Heron]

They're not sending you good residuals for that. Show.

[Leah Delaria]

They never did.

[Caleb Heron]

Shut up.

[Leah Delaria]

Oh, my God. This was so famous. Famously a part of the strike. I'm so surprised you don't know this, Kayla.

[Caleb Heron]

I know the residuals, but I just assumed a show as big as Yalls that y' all were getting something.

[Leah Delaria]

No, no, no. When Orange is a New Black started. We started filming in 2012. Nobody knew what. What this was going to be. Yeah, nobody knew. We all knew it was the future.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

But we didn't know how it was gonna look.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

So basically, Netflix used us as all the other streaming service, then handed it all to. Over all the other streaming services as a template on how to fucking screw the actors so that the streaming service and the company that they and the men who are the presidents and blah, blah, blah, got all the money from these shows. We got doodly squat. We were told that we weren't eligible for residuals, that they weren't necessary under the con. Under a con. A SAG contract.

[Caleb Heron]

Because, like, the new media show.

[Leah Delaria]

Because it was a new media. Yeah, yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

So, I mean, I knew we were all getting fucked. I just thought that maybe y' all got in before that or something. No, no, you were the original getting fucked.

[Leah Delaria]

We were the original getting fucked. We literally. That was because I assure you.

[Caleb Heron]

That.

[Leah Delaria]

Robin Wright and those guys were getting paid and they were. They were getting their residuals, but we weren't. It was like a show that was women, and that's also part of it. And a lot of non white women. Yeah, also part of it. So they. Yeah, they used that and then they shared it. And a lot of other. A lot. That's why this was. That's why we struck. And it was over the residuals of streaming service services. That's one of the major reasons why we struck.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah. And I knew that, but I guess I just thought. I mean, I thought maybe that that was something that had changed, because I.

[Leah Delaria]

Think about, like, you know, 24.27 was my last residual check for more.

[Caleb Heron]

Jesus Christ. That is nuts.

[Leah Delaria]

And it's still watched by over 200 million people in 190 countries.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah, that's nuts. And some people who don't. Who are not actors or don't work in the business might understand how. Might not understand how crazy that is, but if that had been a network show in 2010 or 2009 or whatever, you'd be buying fucking multiple properties off just the residual checks.

[Leah Delaria]

Absolutely. As Jesse can attest.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah, no shit. Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

Because his show was a network show and mine was, you know, Streaming.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

And it's just that, you know, we talk about it all the time. They really. They really fucked us over. And, you know, you have a thing is that if. If you're in this business, you get it. I just got a hit show.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

I'm never gonna have to worry about money again. I'm never have to worry about work again. I'm never gonna have to. A lot of people who were on orange now have day jobs.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah, lots. Yeah. I mean, this. This is why so many of us do this now. It's like I was in writers rooms. Writer rooms don't really pay anymore. This is the shit that pays now. It's like we have to go make our own thing.

[Leah Delaria]

Yeah. I'm. I always feel that the writers and the actors get screwed more than anybody else in our industry.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah. It's horrible.

[Leah Delaria]

That's why when the writers went on strike, I. I walked the picket line with the writers. We hadn't gone out on strike yet.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

But I was very vocal about we need to join the writers on this strike.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

And I was out there with the writers. I have a ton of. Yeah. Tons of friends who are television writers. So. Out there walking with them.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

Yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

And then are you spending more time. I mean, you're doing Titan. Titanique right now.

[Leah Delaria]

Yes.

[Caleb Heron]

Which is so fun.

[Leah Delaria]

And then I'm also working on my. I'm working on my tour for the Outrage Tour. I'm calling it. So Titanic's done, and we're starting to book that. So the rest of this year is going to be me doing that. And then I had a hysterectomy last summer. A full hysterectomy. And I'm writing. I'm kind of writing a show about it.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah. Is that. Is that the Outrage Tour? Is that something.

[Leah Delaria]

No. Outrage is about what the fuck is going on in our country right now. And that's going on. But while I'm doing the Outrage tour, I'm putting together this special that in my mind is gonna be probably an off Broadway musical.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

Called Leah Deleria is Hysterical.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah. So Outrage. Is it. You're gonna. Is it gonna be an hour of stand up? Is that. It's an hour.

[Leah Delaria]

Yeah. But, you know, I do music, too, so that when I do a show, it's always everything I do combined.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

So, yeah, it's gonna be. It's music and it's comedy and. And it's. Yeah. Fun.

[Caleb Heron]

Great. I love that. So when is that gonna start?

[Leah Delaria]

I think. Well, I just. I actually did it in San Francisco in January. Like, that was the first one. Then I went, okay, so I fixed this. I fixed this. I fix this. You know, that's what I do. And then I did it in Florida. When was that? March, I guess. March. Sorry. I had Covid. Just in case anybody wants to know, I had Covid really fucking badly. So I'm still dealing with COVID brain. I've actually got long Covid now. I can't believe it or not, I can't taste a goddamn thing.

[Caleb Heron]

Which is.

[Leah Delaria]

If you're looking at me, it's going, Leah's lost a lot of weight. Leah has lost a lot of weight. Cause I'm not eating. I have no appetite. I can't remember things. So I'm being sent to a long Covid specialist. Luckily, it hasn't affected me in the show much, and it hasn't affected me as a standup on stage at all. But as a human talking to you. I can't put two fucking sentences together.

[Caleb Heron]

Can you remember? You're like, march. Was it March?

[Leah Delaria]

When was it? Yeah, and I did it there in March. And I'm booked in Provincetown in August. And. Yeah, from. That's like the first major booking. And then we'll just. We're gonna shoot from there and go to a bunch of other places.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah, you brought up weight loss and I wanted to ask you. And we can absolutely cut this if you don't want to talk about it.

[Leah Delaria]

I don't give.

[Caleb Heron]

I figured you didn't. But, you know, you. You were fat for a very long time in the industry, and it is a nightmare to be fat in the industry presently. But I'm wondering if you've seen.

[Leah Delaria]

I'm still fat in the industry.

[Caleb Heron]

Ye. Without a doubt, most thin people are fat in the industry. I mean, everyone's fat in the industry. It's. No one's allowed to be really, truly thin. Yeah, but what. Have you seen any shift in that or what was it like when you were starting out? Or just like. Yeah, what's that been like?

[Leah Delaria]

Well, you know, I. The thing. Yeah, there hasn't. I'm gonna just say it. There's not a lot of shift. You know what I mean? Yeah, I think exactly what we just said. Points. Points to it that I'm always gonna be the. I'm a fat chick, even even though I would say that I'm more chubby than fat now. But, you know, whatever. You know what I mean? There doesn't seem to be any about it. Yeah, there's like, my fiance is stunning and she went to la. I would have. See, if we had known each other, then I would have said, no, no, no, no, no. Stay in New York, get some credits, then go to la. But she went to la. She's absolutely fucking stunning. And the. She had a meet with the agent, and the agent was like, you need to lose 20 pounds. I think she weighed at that time 121 pounds.

[Caleb Heron]

Jesus.

[Leah Delaria]

You know, and she's about a half an inch taller than me.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

Why would she have to lose. She's. And she's womanly, you know, she has. Yeah, Dalia, I'm talking about you. She's. She's got tits and ass. You know what I mean?

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

Cause I'm. You know, I love women and I don't want. If she lost £20, I'd be with a fucking teenage boy. I don't know what the fuck, you know. Well, let's have the tits and ass, please. And so, yeah, the industry, I don't think has changed at all. There was a minute there where Lizzo kind of did some stuff, you know what I mean? But now, especially with the weight loss, drugs and all that shit.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

And you know, FYI, I take Ozempic because I'm a diabetic.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

You bitches that are taking it to lose weight are making it impossible for me to get Ozempic, without which I will die.

[Caleb Heron]

Well, but if they don't lose 20 pounds for swimsuit season, they might die.

[Leah Delaria]

Exactly.

[Caleb Heron]

You have to be considerate of that.

[Leah Delaria]

You know what? If I don't get my Ozempic, I will fucking kill them before. Before swimsuit season even fucking starts.

[Caleb Heron]

Hey, life doesn't happen bi weekly, so why should Payday, the money you earn can be in your hands today with Earn and Earn an is an app that gives you access to your pay as you work up to 150 per day with a max of $750 between paydays. Just download the Earn an app app, verify your paycheck, then access up to 150 a day as you work and leave an optional tip. Any money you access plus tips are automatically repaid from your next paycheck anytime I get a little extra money I wasn't expecting to have. I always try and treat myself with, like, a fun dinner with a friend or stopping by my favorite store and snatching up that new shirt I've had my eye on. Hey, earning can make moments like that possible for you. Maybe make earning a part of your financial routine and join earnings over 4 million customers who say things like when I think about earnings, I think about financial stability security. It gives me a lot of peace of mind. Download Earn in today. Spelled E A R N I N in the Google App, Google Play or Apple App Store. When you download the Earn an app, type in so True with Caleb Heron under Podcast when you sign up. It'll really help our show so True with Caleb Heron under Podcasts. Earn it is a financial technology company, not a bank. Cash outs are based on your available earnings. Standard cash outs take one to two business days with no mandatory fees. Option to expedite your transfer for a fee. Tips are voluntary and don't affect the service. See the Cash out user agreement for details and read that user agreement. I would say everybody probably service is not available in all states. Okay, Earn in Thank you for advertising with us Ernan. What's up everybody? It's me Caleb and we just want to shout out our advertiser Hims. Thank you guys so much for advertising on the show. It means the world to us and we are so brand loyal to you. If anything ever happens with my junk and getting hard and whatnot, y' all know I'm coming to hims. Folks, I'm gonna be honest with you. If ED is getting you down, you need Hymns to help get your confidence and other things back up. Hymns provides access to treatments that can help you stay hard and last longer so you can be ready whenever the mood strikes. Hymns is changing the healthcare industry by providing you with access to affordable sexual health treatments from the comfort of your couch. Don't bother with a pesky doctor. Hims provides access to a range of doctor trusted ED treatments like Chewable Hard Mints and Viagra and Cialis and their generics for up to 95 cheaper. The process is 100 online so there's no need for uncomfortable doctors visits. I hate going to the doctor and telling them about my junk. My thing, my thing. A ling Just answer a series of questions on their site and a medical provider will determine the right treatment option. It prescribed your medication ships directly to you for free. No insurance is needed and one low price covers everything from treatments to ongoing care. With hundreds of thousands of trusted subscribers, HIMS can help you find the ED option that works for you. Start your free online Visit [e-mail] so Drew that's H I M S.com so true for your personalized ED treatment options. Hymns.com so true. The feature products include compounded products which are not approved nor verified for safety, effectiveness or quality by the fda Prescription requires. See website for details, restrictions and important safety information. Price varies based on product and subscription plan. Oh, my God, I killed that. It's not. It's not getting any better. It's. Yeah, it's. That's what I suspected, but I was like, maybe. I don't know, something. But. Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

No, no, no, it's not. It's when I started to lose weight when I was shooting orange. So this is the opposite. I started to lose weight because I was diagnosed as a diabetic. Because the medication that they put me on did help you. It just was a side effect at the time. Nobody knew it because I was actually a part of the study that came up. I was one of the thousand people that was in the study that gave us wegovia and Ozempic and those things. Right. So I was taking Victoza at the time, which was another, you know, that same thing. I changed my eating habits. My mother was a diabetic, and I didn't want, you know, I was like, I'd like to stick around. Life is really good right now, so I'll change my eating habits. And then the last piece of the puzzle is the metformin that diabetics take. Metformin, which has what I call the Willy Wonka effect, so. Named after the chocolate waterfall. So. So the three, those medications and me changing, you know, my eating habits, I was dropping weight really quickly. And for that season, they actually had to put me in kind of a fat suit for one. For one particular episode. But they called me at the producers and they went, you know, you're playing a character called Big Boo. I was like, well, you know, there's nothing we could do about this, guys.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

You know, well, I'll just still be Big Boo. And that's why they added the first episode of the next season where my character said that she got a parasite in the lake.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

And that's how they explained that I had lost all that weight.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

Because I got a parasite in the lake.

[Caleb Heron]

Also fun to imagine Hollywood producers asking you to stay fat. I'd love to have that happen. It was.

[Leah Delaria]

They were like, is there any way we can slow it down? I was like, I don't know. I don't know what to tell you. This is. I mean, they were very sympathetic about it, but it was like. It was becoming incredibly apparent on camera.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah. What season was that?

[Leah Delaria]

Well, let's see. Season two is when we were in the lake, so. Yeah. So season two. Season three.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

Season three is when it just kind of went Holy shit.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

That was one of my better ad libs on the show because Nick, who wrote the episode, I said something about the parasite and had Yael, who was my roommate in orange and also my really good friend, just as a human, said, oh, I wish. Maybe I can get one of those. And I turned, ad libbed. Why are you tired of sticking your toothbrush down your throat? And Nick came out and he goes, okay, we're gonna shoot that again. Leah, say that every time. And like, I was just like.

[Caleb Heron]

I love that we ask people on this show. I don't know if they told you, but we always ask people, what's so.

[Leah Delaria]

True to you that pineapple does not fucking belong on pizza?

[Caleb Heron]

You really are so strong on that.

[Leah Delaria]

I'm really fucking strong on that.

[Caleb Heron]

You're gonna tell me you haven't had pineapple on a pizza in. Ever?

[Leah Delaria]

I'm gonna tell you that if I saw a pineapple pizza, I would pick it up and throw it out a window before I'd let anyone eat it. Leah, I fucking. It's disgusting. Pineapple does not belong on fucking. Okay? Pizza's Italian. Pineapple is Hawaiian. There aren't pineapples in Italy. It's Frankenfuckin food. There's Frankenfood. Frankenfood, Frankenfood. People that do this fucking like duck breast and pesto on pizza. Are you fucking kidding me?

[Caleb Heron]

You don't like a fusion?

[Leah Delaria]

No, it's Frankenfood. I think I'm making that clear.

[Caleb Heron]

You're being very clear.

[Leah Delaria]

I'm being very clear. And I love food. I fucking love food. But I am very strict about the way food works. I don't drink iced coffee. Coffee is meant to be drunk hot.

[Caleb Heron]

You have lost the goddamn plot, Leah.

[Leah Delaria]

You have.

[Caleb Heron]

You've come into the wrong room.

[Leah Delaria]

I have not lost the wrong room. But you want to. I'll tell you what. You bring a pineapple with p. A pizza with pineapple on it, and you set it right here and see what happens.

[Caleb Heron]

You don't drink an ice latte ever?

[Leah Delaria]

No, I don't drink a ice latte. I will have a Coke Zero.

[Caleb Heron]

Okay? You're real as fuck for that. But an iced latte? You're friends with so many gay guys and you're telling me you're out here being anti ice latte?

[Leah Delaria]

I also don't suck dick.

[Caleb Heron]

Come on.

[Leah Delaria]

I'm friends with so many gay guys that I suck dick. What? Come on, don't be fucking ridiculous.

[Caleb Heron]

An iced latte is a delicious treat On a hot day. You're mad at me. Come on.

[Leah Delaria]

Computer says no.

[Caleb Heron]

We finally got Leah to go on the record that you don't suck dick. People were wondering.

[Leah Delaria]

I know they were. That was a hardcore wonder there.

[Caleb Heron]

That was a big question mark for people. People.

[Leah Delaria]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

Wow, that's so funny.

[Leah Delaria]

About Leah's bisexuality.

[Caleb Heron]

The bisexuality allegations. You've been up against them for years and today, Han. So true. We're beating them right now. Wait, what was I going to ask you? Oh, I was going to do we do it. We have a segment for you.

[Leah Delaria]

Okay.

[Caleb Heron]

We do this game. It's a true false game.

[Leah Delaria]

Okay.

[Caleb Heron]

It's. It's. I'm basically, I'm going to read you 15 statements. You're going to tell me as quickly as you can if you think what I said is true or false.

[Leah Delaria]

Okay.

[Caleb Heron]

If you get 10 or more correct, we're going to give you 50 US dollars. Dollars. This is the game. 50 bucks. That's a big. That's a big cab ride to nowhere.

[Leah Delaria]

I feel like that these are impossible questions, but go ahead.

[Caleb Heron]

No, no, no. We'll see. Okay. Oh, I'm looking at the wrong page. I was like, that's just a fact about Leah. Okay. Okay, here we go. Pink Floyd only won one Grammy Award.

[Leah Delaria]

True.

[Caleb Heron]

That is true. Sharks do not have bones.

[Leah Delaria]

That is true.

[Caleb Heron]

That is true. You're killing it. Toms were invented in 1989.

[Leah Delaria]

What? Toms the shoe.

[Caleb Heron]

Toms the.

[Leah Delaria]

Oh, Tom.

[Caleb Heron]

Tommy medicine. Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

True.

[Caleb Heron]

False. 1930. Oh. Whitney Houston was an avid Dungeons and Dragons player.

[Leah Delaria]

That's false.

[Caleb Heron]

That is false.

[Leah Delaria]

That is the stupidest question I've ever been asked.

[Caleb Heron]

The letter Z does not appear in any US State. Name.

[Leah Delaria]

True.

[Caleb Heron]

False. Arizona.

[Leah Delaria]

Arizona. I forgot. Arizona.

[Caleb Heron]

People do, and for good reason.

[Leah Delaria]

Yeah, I can believe it.

[Caleb Heron]

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

[Leah Delaria]

False.

[Caleb Heron]

It's true.

[Leah Delaria]

Damn it. I went back and forth so long.

[Caleb Heron]

Belleville, Illinois's sister city is in France.

[Leah Delaria]

True.

[Caleb Heron]

False. It's Paderborn, Germany. Well.

[Leah Delaria]

Oh, that's right. German settlers. I forgot. Yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

It would take 19 minutes to fall to the center of the Earth.

[Leah Delaria]

What?

[Caleb Heron]

Apparently this is calculable. It would take 19 minutes to fall from where we are now to the center of the Earth falls. It's true.

[Leah Delaria]

That's so crazy.

[Caleb Heron]

That doesn't feel right to me.

[Leah Delaria]

That doesn't feel.

[Caleb Heron]

But I believe it. Sunday in the park.

[Leah Delaria]

I was doing so good.

[Caleb Heron]

You were doing. And honestly, this one feels. Sunday in the park with George's original broad Broadway run was 604 performance performances.

[Leah Delaria]

True.

[Caleb Heron]

That is true. The letter A is the most popular letter in the English language.

[Leah Delaria]

False.

[Caleb Heron]

False.

[Leah Delaria]

It's E. I know.

[Caleb Heron]

Let's go. Okay. Vietnam is the world's big second biggest coffee producer.

[Leah Delaria]

I don't know why you would ask if it wasn't true. So true.

[Caleb Heron]

True. 40. 40 of the population is left handed.

[Leah Delaria]

Yes. False.

[Caleb Heron]

False. 10.

[Leah Delaria]

10. Same as us. I was like, wait, it's the same as queer people. We're 10.

[Caleb Heron]

The origins of the word jazz are unknown.

[Leah Delaria]

That's false.

[Caleb Heron]

That's true. Oh, Netflix still offers their DVD delivery service. Why?

[Leah Delaria]

False. False.

[Caleb Heron]

They stopped in 2023. San Francisco's official motto is golden, peace, iron and war.

[Leah Delaria]

San Francisco's motto.

[Caleb Heron]

San Francisco's official model motto. Gold in peace, Iron in war.

[Leah Delaria]

City of brotherly love. Sorry. Gold. Say it again.

[Caleb Heron]

Gold in peace, Iron in war.

[Leah Delaria]

I'm gonna say true.

[Caleb Heron]

It is true. How'd she do? Nine. Oh, you were so close. I'm still hung up on your coffee. Take that. Really hit home with me. That was. That was personal for me.

[Leah Delaria]

I'm hung up that I didn't get 10.

[Caleb Heron]

I know. You were so close. You were so close. And it's really not goddamn salt.

[Leah Delaria]

The fall to the center of the earth is what?

[Caleb Heron]

Well, also France and Germany. That's just. That's pretty. That's pretty close. I think we ought to count it. I think we ought to give it 10. Follow this into the earth. Now where. How do we know that? No one's done that. You can calculate just like, the amount. We know the distance from the crust to the core and like the weight of like, you know, like of a human.

[Leah Delaria]

But what about the magnetic core? Wouldn't that make a difference? I mean, we're not just calculating that. That has to be part of the equation, don't you think?

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah, I'm also. I'm thinking I'm kind of dumb because I was thinking 19 minutes is too short. But I'm like, 19 minutes is a long time to fall.

[Leah Delaria]

It's a long time. I mean, I was actually thinking it might be shorter.

[Caleb Heron]

Really?

[Leah Delaria]

I said false?

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah, I was thinking it was too short.

[Leah Delaria]

And I was also going, the magnetic core, it has to do something. You know what I mean? So there you go.

[Caleb Heron]

But almost 10. Almost 10. Okay. I wanted to ask you. You have had. You've been in so many cool productions and shows, is there a moment in your career that you look at and go, oh, that was like a real. Pinch me. Like, holy Shit moment.

[Leah Delaria]

Wow. I've had a. I've had.

[Caleb Heron]

You've had a lot of fun.

[Leah Delaria]

I've had a lot of those pinch me, holy shit moment. I think the real pinch me, holy shit moment was when I met Meryl Streep. I think that was probably the big one. Where'd you meet Meryl Streep? I was doing as you like it, and Gwyneth Paltrow was the lead, and she had just won the Academy Award, so it was a big production in. Fuck me. Where's the theater festival? Is it Williamsburg?

[Caleb Heron]

Williamstown?

[Leah Delaria]

Williamstown, yeah. And they always have a big festival there every summer. And so this was a production that they were thinking would come to New York. And it was a lot of great people in it. And Mark Lynn Baker was my touchstone, and I was Audrey the Shepherd. It was just. It was great. And every day they would be, this is who's coming. Because, you know, it was because she just won the Academy Awards, like Steven Spielberg, blah, blah, blah, blah. One day. One day. The stage man. Okay. And I said, who's coming today? All the living presidents. I mean, it was just like. It was insane. But it was Meryl Streep, and it was. That was just amazing. And with Blythe Danner, and they were. They just kind of got. Blythe was there to see her daughter. Of course. Meryl came to see the whole thing. And I was she introduced. So I got introduced through Blythe to Meryl, and I started to kind of shake her hand, and I was such a pleasure. I'm such a huge fan. And then I just became me, and I got down on my hands and knees, and I was like, oh, my God, I'm so. I'm so unworthy. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then I went. And then I just kind of switched and went, you know, as long as I'm on my knees, Meryl, is there anything I can do for you?

[Caleb Heron]

You're threatening to eat Meryl out backstage at the theater festival.

[Leah Delaria]

She laughed, and then she looked at me and she went, you know, that's why I like you, Leah. You always make the small choices.

[Caleb Heron]

It's subtle and understated, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

And then I saw her again, and then we. That's what. Like, we became on a first name basis through that. And then we did this event together for the Public Theater, and it was like. It was me, Meryl Streep, and Natalie Portman, who I've had a crush on for a minute. You know, I love Natalie Portman. So they're both standing there, and I brought the fucking house down. I did what I did, and I kind of stopped the show. And I came up stage and I said something to them, and they both, like, meryl kissed me. Natalie took me by the hand and was kissing me on the hand, and Meryl was kissing me on the cheek. And I did not wash my cheek or my hand for a year, I can tell you. It was amazing. And then the next time I saw Meryl was. Jill Claiberg was doing a Broadway show. We went to. We went to Bar Central. I went to Bar Central. I was doing a different Shakespeare play, right? So I was doing Midsummer Night's Dream. And afterwards, I went to Bar Central, and Meryl and Jill Clayburg were there. I was shitting myself because I already met Meryl, and I knew that I could get an intro to Jill Claiborne because she was sitting right there. I walk up to them. They were so drunk. They were so drunk. And I met Jill, which was my thing. And then they were like, you know, we're gonna go now, Lee. And I went, I'm gonna walk you out to the cab. And Meryl said, are we that drunk? And I went, yes. So they both started laughing. So I put them in a cab. I gave the cab driver $20, and I said, this is royalty. You take good care of these women. Yeah, right? And then we saw each other at the Emmys and the SAG Awards. And when all that happened for Orange, it was just, you know. Hey, Meryl. Hey, Leah. How's it going? It's insane.

[Caleb Heron]

That's so cool.

[Leah Delaria]

But when I first met her, it was like, I'm gonna shit myself.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

Yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

Two legends, you and Meryl, hanging out. I'm serious. I've. People feel that way about meeting you, too. That's crazy.

[Leah Delaria]

That's nuts.

[Caleb Heron]

That's nuts. What is there. Is there a role or a thing you haven't gotten to do yet that you are, like, dying to do?

[Leah Delaria]

I'm dying for somebody to write me an original musical part, you know, for me. Something for me, just original that doesn't exist right now that I'm dying for. And I have played every type of thing that. I mean, I just played a fucking elf on Nora from Queens. You know what I mean? I've done all of that shit. I have never played a gay man. I played tons of straight men. I have never. And tons of straight women, tons of lesbians, fantastic creatures. You know, stuff like that. I have never been cast as a gay Man, I would love at some point for somebody to cast me as a gay man.

[Caleb Heron]

Okay. Interesting. Yeah, I would like that.

[Leah Delaria]

Oh, I don't mind. You know, again, I played so many men. I don't mind playing men. It's. It's fun.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

To create a character, but to play a gay man. So much fun.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah. I think your take on a gay man would be. I actually need to see that. I need someone to step up. Maybe the musical. Maybe someone needs to write you an original musical where you play.

[Leah Delaria]

Where I literally play a game.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah, that'd be good. That'd be good. That's Tony Bates.

[Leah Delaria]

Take that, Cole Escola.

[Caleb Heron]

Sorry, Cole. You're over, honey. It's Leah's turn. I would love that. I would love that so much. So original musical for you and you'd like to play a gay man?

[Leah Delaria]

Yeah. Okay, that's it.

[Caleb Heron]

Hollywood needs to get to work.

[Leah Delaria]

Let's go, kids.

[Caleb Heron]

We're gonna make it happen. Is there anything you want to. Obviously Titanic.

[Leah Delaria]

I'm sorry. And Hallmark Christmas movie.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah. What do you want to play? Play the. Play the evil. The evil businessman who comes and shuts down the Christmas fair or whatever. Is there anything you want to plug. Tell the people about. Tell them where to find you.

[Leah Delaria]

Titanic. But I'm only in that until the 25th of May, so I don't know when this is going to air. I do the second Sunday of every month at 54 below. Brunch is gay. Which is. The whole concept is I do a different show every month. I have a different guest every month, and there's a different theme. So it's. We're always. Especially the guests. We're doing things we don't normally do. So there's lyric sheets in front of us and mistakes are made and lots of jokes flying and people have. It's so loose and it's so much fun. So brunch is gay. I'm doing. Let's see. Oh, the Carlisle. That's the. I forgot about that. That's part of the outrage. The Carlisle. The Friday of Gay Pride weekend. They are doing a bunch. That whole Gay Pride week. They're doing a bunch of different queer performers, and I'm one of them. And let's see. Movies. God, I've made a bunch of movies.

[Caleb Heron]

So.

[Leah Delaria]

Wholly Irresistible is currently on. Not Hulu, on Amazon and shit. Outerland, filmed in San Francisco, just hit the festival circuit, getting much, much heat. So look for Outerland. It's. It's a really interesting story. And my friend Asia Dylan is lead And Asia's doing some of the best work they've ever done in this particular movie. Really good. I mean, there's a lot to plug. I keep. I just can't keep it all straight. Yeah, yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

But follow me on Instagram. That'll help. Go.

[Leah Delaria]

That will help.

[Caleb Heron]

And go. Keep up with everything. And we come to the brunch shows.

[Leah Delaria]

Just come. They're so much fun.

[Caleb Heron]

And then go to the Outrage tour.

[Leah Delaria]

Yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

Hell yeah. Rock on. Well, thank you.

[Leah Delaria]

Where are you get to sing? Donald Trump is a. With me, of course.

[Caleb Heron]

And we've always wanted to do that. Oh, easy. That's one of my dreams. Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

It's so cathartic.

[Caleb Heron]

Yeah.

[Leah Delaria]

And the audience really loves it. You know, he's a. Yeah.

[Caleb Heron]

Thanks for doing it, Leah. Oh, thanks for being on.

[Leah Delaria]

Hey, my pleasure, Caleb. Having back.

[Caleb Heron]

That was a Headgum podcast. Hi, I'm Rachel Bilson. And I'm Olivia Allen.

[Leah Delaria]

And we host the podcast Broad Ideas.

[Caleb Heron]

Yes. That's now on Headgum. On our show, we chat with people like Britney Snow, Lucy Hale, Kristen Bell.

[Leah Delaria]

Margaret Cho, Jake Johnson, and so much more. And we talk about all the things you would talk about with your best.

[Caleb Heron]

Friend, like your periods and mental illness and the food you ate for lunch. Most importantly, listen to broad ideas on Spotify, Apple, podcasts, YouTube, or wherever you.

[Leah Delaria]

Listen to your podcasts.