Loading summary
Caleb
This is a Headgum podcast.
Lisa
I just love that, you know, I hired pr and they were. I was like, you really don't need to come to Caleb's show. He's my good friend, and I feel like I've ruined my career before it started. Well, you also tried to fight start a fight with me yesterday.
Caleb
What about?
Lisa
You didn't invite me to your party on Tuesday. I had to send a screenshot proving this. Yeah, but I have fucked up before, so I was like, maybe I didn't. This happens every. I've lost a friend, every party I've thrown. Every party I've thrown, someone is pissed. And I'm like, but why are you putting more weight on a pothead inviting you than what I truly do feel for you?
Caleb
You knew I was a snake when you picked me up. Honey, why are you mad at me for forgetting something? It's all I do.
Lisa
Yes.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
That is how I felt. But I was gonna say, I live above a coffee shop, so I get coffee every single day there.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
And I usually, you know, it's straight past after soul cycle or right out of bed, like. So today they were all kind of stunned.
Caleb
Yeah. That you looked like we were done up. Yeah.
Lisa
Like, if I look like, even a bit, they're like, ooh. And so today they're like, we love your shirt. It was exciting.
Caleb
Oh, my God. Well, you do look great.
Lisa
Because usually I look fresh. Like, sometimes I don't even brush my teeth. I just run downstairs.
Caleb
That's okay.
Lisa
Oh, yeah. They don't mind.
Caleb
That's how it is sometimes they don't care.
Lisa
I tip a lot, and if they give me a free one, I tip even more.
Caleb
Yeah. That's the truth.
Lisa
So I, you know, I'm good for business.
Caleb
I'm spending $10 on a coffee if it's 6 with a $4 tip. If you give me a free coffee, I'm tipping 12. I'm talking 15. You're getting all that. It's going straight to you give me a free coffee if you see me.
Lisa
That's what you have to do. Because then one day I'm not going to be able to get a package and they're going to hold it for me.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
You know what I mean? It's not community. It's community. Or is it transaction? I never really know.
Caleb
No, it's the definition of community. Because you're not doing it. You're not doing it in exchange for them doing that. And if they didn't do it for you, you would.
Lisa
I'm doing it for the youth to follow their passions at their day job. Unless they're rich kids. That's what's tough in wow.
Caleb
They.
Lisa
If they're rich, I don't want to, like, let me know.
Caleb
Yeah, there should be. Everyone should have a marker.
Lisa
Like, are you working for fun? Because you have to learn what the real world's like so you can take over your dad's company. Or are you here really trying to make it as a photographer?
Caleb
Everyone should have an emblem on their sleeve.
Lisa
Yes.
Caleb
That says their income. What's your income? Let's start getting serious.
Lisa
Yeah.
Caleb
We want equality. Let's start. Let's put it out there. I don't want to be nice to you if you make more money than me. You. How's that?
Lisa
Yeah.
Caleb
And once your emblem changes and when you're below me, then I'll be charitable towards you. I don't want to tip someone who's that? Invented oil.
Lisa
You're making me look bad.
Caleb
No, the thing is, Lisa, I'm kind of being serious. I'm like, I agree with what you're saying.
Lisa
Yeah. It's just. But, you know, they are young. I am older now. It's weird. I had like a heart tart with a T Mobile employee that was 24. He was like, ah. I majored in journalism. Now I'm here at T Mobile. And I was like, you gotta get experience. You know, that's an industry where you need to learn, you need to get better. You're also interacting with. Look at you. Look at you updating my phone. I'm like, you're getting skills.
Caleb
The news you're reporting to me on what's wrong with my phone.
Lisa
Yeah.
Caleb
Yeah. That's beautiful.
Lisa
So, yeah, I feel like an elder. It's weird.
Caleb
Do you think you're wise enough to be an elder?
Lisa
I've always been wise. I don't follow my own advice, but I've always been very helpful to people.
Caleb
Yeah, you're a great advice giver.
Lisa
Yeah. I'm always there for others as I, you know, sit alone in my home making beaded bracelets, watching a show. I've seen you give good advice.
Caleb
The. The upkeep of the apartment maybe falls through the cracks.
Lisa
No, it's. I've gotten so much better. It's honestly. Well, because I started taking the pills again. It's the Wellbutrin. It's the Wellbutri. Wellbutrin works.
Caleb
Can I say on the pod, what happened?
Lisa
You were worried about me. I was worried. Well, because I let Everyone know we had plans, but I was being really psycho, and I was like, I'm gonna try to cancel, or we have to go immediately right by my apartment to eat. Or. And I'm ordering buttered noodles, and you're gonna judge me?
Caleb
Yeah, but that's not even what happened. What happened is you did cancel. And we said, no, you're not canceling on us. We worked really hard to make these plans. Our schedules are really intense. We were gonna do this dinner, and then. And then Lisa said, caleb, do you want to come over to my place? It's a little messy. You might be worried about me. And I go, oh, my God. I've seen a messy apartment. I've had a messy apartment. I'm not going to be worried about you. I walked in the door about two seconds after being in there. I said, hey, grab my hand. I'm worried about you. I said, hey, honey, come here. I'm going to hold your hand when I say this. Something's got to give.
Lisa
And it has. It's given. I got back on the Wellbutrin, and now I'm wearing a lip color. You know, it does kind of work. It's crazy. Yeah, But. And my cleaning lady's been helping me a lot, too, But I wanted to clean for her finally, because she spends so much time putting clutter away that she's not able to, like, get in there.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
And so I. Wait. I was like, are you impressed? She's like, I'm proud of you. And, like, we had a nice little chat, but. And I'm getting rid of more and more stuff. And she said she'll take everything I don't need.
Caleb
Oh, gorgeous.
Lisa
So now I have, like, an exit plan.
Caleb
That's beautiful.
Lisa
Well, I was gonna leave it for unhoused people outside. Some sweaters. I put them in individually, and she was like, I'll take it. And I was like, okay, that's great.
Caleb
She's probably reselling those.
Lisa
Yeah.
Caleb
And that's nice. That's good. That's a. That's a nice thing.
Lisa
Like a person. Well, because it reminds me of the story where so we. There's a person we don't like. And he's like. He used to be.
Caleb
We being you and I, or we.
Lisa
Being you and the Cleveland. Yeah. Like our Chicago community.
Caleb
Okay, cool.
Lisa
Back in the day. And he was just like. Instead of being like, hey, can I get a ride? He would try to snake his way for, oh, where are you going? I think that's. And then it would be out of the way, you know, like dishonest.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
And so. But one time my friend had leftovers and there was a, you know, a woman on the street. And so she goes, hey, I have these, do you want this? And the woman goes, oh, yeah, I'd love that. And then this guy went, oh, if you're gonna give it away, I'll take it. And then he took it.
Caleb
He took it from the unhoused person.
Lisa
Yeah. And then my friend was like, okay. But he just. This is what he would do. He like asked a friend to lunch and goes, let's go to Chipotle. My friend orders. Then he goes and gives them a coupon and they go, no, you have to do the coupon together. He was trying to have a hidden coupon. So then my friend had to pay for two burrito bowls.
Caleb
So he was trying to. He said, let's go to Chipotle. So I can you be the buy one, I be the get one free.
Lisa
But instead of telling him, instead of being like, hey, I'm really broke, I have this coupon. Would you mind splitting this or paying? Which is acceptable. Which is acceptable. Up front? Up front, it's all acceptable. People are broke. It's fine. Yeah, but he. So my friend paid and then he tried to sell sneakily. Do the coupon. But that's not how coupons work.
Caleb
I'm with him. Go ahead and.
Lisa
Yeah, that's just not how coupons work.
Caleb
That's psycho, dude.
Lisa
Yeah, we know. Yeah, we know him.
Caleb
That's. That's crazy. And you're not going to name and shame.
Lisa
No, because I think he's better. He got hit by a bus. Eventually he got a settlement.
Caleb
I think he's better. He got hit by a buzz. I'm flying him out for my party. It's. Yeah, it's going to be really special. What we. That's nuts, dude. That's so nuts.
Lisa
So when I was like, oh, I'm just gonna leave these outside because my block does that, she was like, I'll take it. And so I thought of him. But I'm like, listen, it's tough, it's tough. If you wanna. If you fit in my sweater, take it.
Caleb
Take the sweater.
Lisa
But it's like way better now. There's still some, like, I, you know, I have unhealthy attachments to stuff. But it's so much nicer when it's clean. And I organized all my beads. It's so nice.
Caleb
Do you have a fear of becoming a hoarder? Cuz you say unhealthy attachment to stuff. And I'm like, oh, my dad had that and he was a hoarder.
Lisa
Do you feel that way? My dad's sister and I have. Are mentally unwell in terms of stuff clutter. My dad has his basement and then he has his office in the kitchen.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
And. And then he also has like a shed and then his trunk. And then we just got a. A letter from the village that he has to clean up the yard.
Caleb
Yeah. What's in the yard?
Lisa
Traffic cones, Hula hoops. A step ladder.
Caleb
Of course. What was I thinking? Like, just naturally. Hula hoops. Of course. Yes.
Lisa
To hold like the bushes. I mean, it's a bad.
Caleb
Your 80 something year old immigrant parents, of course, have hula hoops in the yard with the stepladder. I don't know what I was thinking. Of course that's what's going on in the village. Wants them gone. The village, a homeowner's association is one of the most fascistic things I can imagine.
Lisa
No, it's not that. It's like the actual village too.
Caleb
A government. I don't like a government either.
Lisa
They left an unhinged voicemail. They didn't call me back. My sister went and handled it at the VI.
Caleb
What was the voicemail?
Lisa
I go, you're asking my 87 year old? My dad kept being like, tell him I survived the Holocaust.
Caleb
Well, he did.
Lisa
He did. But I was like, we don't have to start there.
Caleb
Hey, we'll get to holocaust when it's needed. We're not gonna enter the door with Holocaust. That is so fucking. He's real as fuck, by the way. If I survived the Holocaust, you'd never hear the fucking end of it. There wouldn't be a person I met who didn't fucking hear about it.
Lisa
It's so funny. So Germany still gives money to people like how we should. A lot of communities in our country. Yeah, but. So I told my dad, I'm like, oh, the, you know, the Germans give you money. And he goes, how do you know about that? I go, I fill out your paperwork. I go, you don't speak English. He's like, how do you know? I get that. I'm like, I took the photo of you holding your id.
Caleb
Like, how do I know? I'm in correspondence with the government. Yeah, I'm working with, I'm working with the feds to get you your Holocaust payments. I know they're coming.
Lisa
Yeah. But yeah, he's real.
Caleb
As if I, If I survived the Holocaust, every time A check came to my table. I'd be like, really? To a Holocaust survivor?
Lisa
I know there's very few of them, you know.
Caleb
Yeah, yeah, that's. Yeah, that was. Sorry, please. That's horrible. Don't make jokes about that. But anyway, you left the voicemail. What did you say?
Lisa
I was just like, are you kidding me? Because they gave like a January 14th due date for the. I go, you're asking an 87 year old man in these weathers, in this weather to clean up this weather and these weather. This is unacceptable. Because I also thought they were trying to get, make him get rid of his shed. And I just thought that was fucked. And then they thought it was a certain neighbor. So I'm like, I'm going to go talk to the. They're like, please don't talk to the neighbors. But I just get riled. I don't want my dad being disrespected like that. But it's fine. He just has to clean up the yard. He's not going to be responsible for the. What's the retaining wall? Yeah, there's some loose bricks, but we've just, we fought that. Yeah, the shed can stay, but the yard needs to be cleaned by a spring date. You can't make an old man go out there in 20 degree weather.
Caleb
That's fucking negative three. They're like, get your old ass in the yard and pick up that hula hoop.
Lisa
But we have another neighbor who got a letter from the village too. So now we're in cahoots.
Caleb
Oh, we're building. See, this is community.
Lisa
It is.
Caleb
And no, this is organizing.
Lisa
No, it's actually really beautiful. You would love this. So when we moved into this townhouse, the George and Grace lived right there and they were elderly. And then when George passed my mom, we would take Grace to the supermarket. We would just do everything for Grace. And then when they moved out, a young couple moved in that started helping my parents and doing all these things.
Caleb
No, that's actually gonna make me cry. Ooh, yeah. That actually could.
Lisa
Yeah.
Caleb
Ooh, yeah. I love that actually in a way.
Lisa
That I actually had new people that just got a letter from the village. They were my parents. Let's let me know that they helped carry a rug for them. So then I went and, you know, said, hey, you know, the grill smells great. Thanks for helping my parents.
Caleb
Yeah, yeah, Equivalent. They carry the rug. You give a compliment on the grill. It's beautiful. Yeah, yeah.
Lisa
And he was hot. I was like, damn, you got some hot new neighbors.
Caleb
That's Nice. You. That's nice. You took me from a place of crying to be like, okay, yeah.
Lisa
And they. And then they've been feeding a stray cat. My parents.
Caleb
That one. I don't care about much. Cats feeding the stray cats up. People think it's.
Lisa
Well, their cat of 17 years died, so now they have at least a street cat to feed.
Caleb
That's beautiful. I guess. Yeah, I could find beauty in that.
Lisa
Yeah. And. And it's gotten chubby since my parents started feeding it.
Caleb
Well, that's kind of fun. I like when people are fat.
Lisa
Oh, yeah. Oh, my. This cat. This street cat's eating, like, kosher chicken cutlets. Homemade.
Caleb
Obsessed.
Lisa
Like, fresh.
Caleb
Fresh on the grill. Fresh on the grill, yeah.
Lisa
Knocks on the window of the shed Obsessed.
Caleb
Yeah, it's completely obsessed. You daddy's needs to pick up that hula hoop.
Lisa
No, he's gonna get to it. But it's like. It's mental stuff. And it could be either like, immigrant, like, you know, immigrants, when they have to leave everything type of thing, or it's just having. I don't know what it is, but it went into my sister. We were addicted. After, like, homecoming and prom, we would run and buy all these dresses on sale, and then we'd have closets full of dresses. For what? Yeah, but that's the way we live. And then my sister moved into a smaller space to work on. We just, like. We accumulate things, and we want things. We don't want to get rid of things, and we want them to be used. And it's like. And then we'll give my dad stuff to give away. And then later, a year later, he'll be like, do you need this? I'm like, I gave that to you to give away. To give away two years ago.
Caleb
It feel. I mean, it feels like there's a pretty clear line of psychology from the things that your parents went through to this obsession with material things and comfort, and it feels pretty like. Yeah, no shit. Like, I feel like I would be that way, too, had I gone through what they went through.
Lisa
Right. But I didn't really go through it, so I need to get it together.
Caleb
Yeah. Do you. You speak Russian, right? Yeah. Do you ever do comedy in Russian? Have you ever.
Lisa
No, I wouldn't even be able to. And these people don't have a good sense of humor. They. The Russians are truly, like. They love torture, Suffering.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
They don't want to not suffer.
Caleb
It's weird. Do you. Do you. Would you speak Russian outside of talking to your parents?
Lisa
Yeah, like, A Lyft driver here and there.
Caleb
Yeah, that makes sense. That's cool.
Lisa
Yeah. And you bring it up. A couple friends, they go like, you.
Caleb
Look like, you know Russian.
Lisa
Yeah, they could tell. Like, we could tell, or they'll say something or it depends. Or if I see, like, a Russian person struggling in a street, I'll talk to them. Or just soar.
Caleb
Nice.
Lisa
Like if an old woman's confused at directions. Not yet.
Caleb
It's good.
Lisa
I know. I can't wait. I'm like, I've been a fan of that actress for a while because I like better things.
Caleb
Yeah, she's great in it. It really is great. And it's.
Lisa
And I know the tow truck driver, Sebastian.
Caleb
Really?
Lisa
Yeah. He's in the city. You guys should, like, swap pods.
Caleb
Oh, yeah. Oh, he's a podcaster.
Lisa
He is. Are you mad?
Caleb
No. What? No. Not at all. No, I just. That kind of. I'm just surprised by that because he.
Lisa
Does such a good job. Well, you're a good. You're an actor and a podcaster.
Caleb
No, not because he does such a good. You want me to have contention with this guy so bad. I just thought it was cool that you knew a guy in the movie.
Lisa
No.
Caleb
You're like. You're like, oh, you fudgeing hate him, huh? No, he said no. I like the guy. Sounds cool. I'm glad he has a podcast. Good for him. I hope it does numbers.
Lisa
Yeah.
Caleb
That's really exciting.
Lisa
No, it is. I. That is exciting. I love watching stuff and be like. Like that Leonardo DiCaprio meme. That's me. And I like it.
Caleb
It is fun. I love it when I know somebody, I'm like, wow, how fun. It's also interesting. I'm sure you feel this too. But, like, I made a part in my. I'm at a point in my career now where, like, you gotta. You have a connection to, like, everybody. Like, even, like, Bowen and Rachel announced the Oscars this morning. I'm like, we know Bowen and Rachel, you know, or like, whatever. It's like, you know, your musician friends go on a big tour and you're like, oh, I didn't know everybody. That's kind of fun.
Lisa
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Caleb
And it's not like a. It's not like a. I want something for them or I feel cool because they're cool. It's just like, oh, that's kind of weird. Like, I want to watch this.
Lisa
I do feel cool, though.
Caleb
Do you?
Lisa
Yeah. Like, I have a friend with a piece at the Met, and I've Been talking and I, I. I feel cool.
Caleb
I feel that they're cool for that. I don't think you're cool for knowing them. I think you're cool because you're you.
Lisa
I feel like Carrie Bradshaw.
Caleb
I think you are Carrie Bradshaw. But Carrie Bradshaw was cool because she was cool, not because her friends were cool.
Lisa
Yeah. Yeah. But I feel cool being there, seeing it, maybe.
Caleb
Yeah. I think you're cooler because you're friends with me.
Lisa
Yeah.
Caleb
I don't know about anyone else.
Lisa
No. People are obsessed with you. Actually, when you came to the Cellar.
Caleb
With me, I was kidding, by the way. That didn't.
Lisa
I know. I know you did.
Caleb
I didn't get any. No, bite on that. But that was a bit. I got no play on that bit. That was a bit. Can't let that one go into the. They're going to have to clarify. I was kidding.
Lisa
That was cool. Did you ever have that your teachers on the tv, they would type in Microsoft Word and you'd look at it at the tv.
Caleb
That's how we. They. That's how I know where the episode is at.
Lisa
I love. I used to love that little clicking sound. I like the smart board.
Caleb
Oh. Or when you were in school, it was probably.
Lisa
Yeah. I wasn't a smartboard.
Caleb
Sorry. You had one of those. Like, we did.
Lisa
The clear ones. Yeah, the clear projectors. Yeah. But writing with those vis a vis markers on that clear thing with the.
Caleb
Yeah. Or did you. In math class, did you ever.
Lisa
An abacus? Yeah.
Caleb
No, I was. They would pass out the individual chalkboards or whiteboards. Like our math teacher would pass out little, tiny individual whiteboards. And we get to write out our equations and then wipe them clean. It was fun for me. I liked it. So I really didn't want to interrupt you, though. You were going to compliment me, I thought. Almost.
Lisa
Oh, I was. So you went with me to the Cellar.
Caleb
Oh, God.
Lisa
And we were with someone. You know, I would say high profile. Oh. After you left, I would say no less than seven people went, oh, my God, Was I okay near Caleb? Did I embarrass you? Like, people were losing their minds.
Caleb
That's really funny.
Lisa
Like, the next day, people were like, wow. So Caleb was here. And I go, yeah.
Caleb
You're like, yeah, he's fine.
Lisa
Well, there was one person that acted weird with. I don't know if you caught that, because I, you know, you don't like to talk about people, so I don't bring it up to you. But there was one person being weird.
Caleb
Yeah. God love them. Yeah, they were. Yeah, they were having a. It seemed like they were having a moment, and I.
Lisa
But I. But you were so kind. You really turned into a Southern gentleman. Even though you're not from the south, you're just a gentleman.
Caleb
I don't.
Lisa
If someone treated me like that, I'd be like, you need to get away from me right now.
Caleb
It was. It's funny. It's always funny in a space like that where I'm like, we're peers. You're a comic. We're both comics. So I'm. That is funny to me, that I'm like, I just would never expect it. But then you're going fan mode, so then I have to switch into speaking with a fan mode. And I wasn't in that. I was in hanging out with my peers mode.
Lisa
Yeah.
Caleb
So it's strange, but I'm not mad at you.
Lisa
Oh, come this way. I'm like, he's been inside.
Caleb
Well, there's a funny thing about those spaces, though, that people feel really. I'm sure you feel a level of this. People feel really identified with a place like the Cellar. They feel like this is my home. So when they see someone that they. They want to open it up to you, they want to be like, let me share my home.
Lisa
I feel that way. You know, I want. Try this or have this, or they are, oh, this is this person.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
Like.
Caleb
And I don't care about that, but it's.
Lisa
It's.
Caleb
It's a. It's a perfectly nice thing to want to do, to want someone to feel at home in a place that you feel is your home. That's nice. Yeah. Yeah.
Lisa
No, it was all very nice, but you. I wouldn't have handled it.
Caleb
What's. What's been going on with you since I saw. You asked. You're a returning guest on the pod.
Lisa
Well, today I just ordered the New Lover Taylor Swift cardigan came out.
Caleb
Oh.
Lisa
I actually was out the door, and then I saw it on my. Open the laptop. And then I was in line for six minutes to check out.
Caleb
She's doing it. She's. What is it?
Lisa
She just drops these cardigans to take our money and I buy them.
Caleb
Yeah. And you love it.
Lisa
And it's my third cardigan. Yeah.
Caleb
That's really exciting. What's it look like?
Lisa
It's white with pink hearts, and the buttons are hearts.
Caleb
That's cute.
Lisa
It's cute.
Caleb
Sounds cute.
Lisa
Yeah, I had to have it.
Caleb
Yeah, it sounds really cute. You're a big. Well, you're a big. I'VE said this about you a million times. You're a big fan of everything. You're a fan.
Lisa
Yeah, yeah, I'm a fan. I'm a fanatic. I want mer, but of people I know and don't know.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
Wait, did I. I've been talking about this for weeks. And I actually did tell my soul cycle teacher. I've been talking about her for weeks, but she, in the middle of class, went, who's got a crush? Is it real or parasocial?
Caleb
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what? Call him out, Queen. Yeah, fucking say that. Say that.
Lisa
As I'm dropping letters to Luigi into.
Caleb
The mailbox, I'm like, yeah, let's Luigi part.
Lisa
I was like, lisa, we gotta pay attention to is. It's like. It's. It's. I'm sorry, what's happening? Do you think what is happening is. And this is like, so on Etsy, you can't buy Luigi merch, right? He's also alleged, not found guilty of any crime. Yeah, you can buy. You can't buy it. There's only, like, one sticker. Like, you cannot buy Luigi stuff. The government is stopping it. Like, the terms and conditions. You can buy a candle that says, smells like Jeffrey Dahmer.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
You could buy Gacy shit. You could buy Unabomber stuff.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
So what the fuck is that? And then Bill Burr said positive stuff about Luigi on Kimmel. All the comments are positive comments. Now shut down. Yeah, like, there's something going on. You cannot charge this guy with terrorism. Try to put him to death, and I stop paying attention. Yeah, it could be any one of us. Yeah, well, they have not matched any. There's not evidence, like, for anyone to believe the cops. Cops can lie. And any article you read that said the cops reported can be a lie.
Caleb
Totally. Totally. You're being. I'm really scared right now. I've never seen you like this.
Lisa
Because I'm scared.
Caleb
I've never seen you like this.
Lisa
We're entering an authoritative government.
Caleb
We're in it, babe. We've been in it.
Lisa
We've been in it. It's just a little more. It's. There's more. Heil Hitlers.
Caleb
Yeah, I'll say. The high. The hiling is up by 200%.
Lisa
Yeah.
Caleb
Yeah. The hiling is up a bunch. And then, you know what's really insidious about.
Lisa
It's not even Ohio. Yeah.
Caleb
They're going. They're going, oh, and they'll share pictures of, you know, Hillary Clinton or Kamala where their hand happens. To be like this during a speech. Hand happening to be like this and versus going fucking hard chest, straight arm is.
Lisa
Yeah. Well, I also just saw a video. Hopefully it's not real, but it's obviously people looking like the kkk, like on a cruise ship or something. And then the, the, the management said, oh no, they were dressed like. Snow cones are bad. Yeah, I'm like a snow, A white snow cone.
Caleb
Yeah, I don't think that, that, that doesn't sound.
Lisa
I don't think it was. I mean, just like all the rollbacks. We'll see. Whatever. I just think this is a case we need to pay attention to because also if cases that are this high attention, usually it's like a 24 hour news cycle. Right. We talk about it. We talk about it. Why aren't we talking about it?
Caleb
I'm talking about it.
Lisa
The next court dates, February 21st was pushed from this month. But like I just feel. And they're also trying to like diminish the support of him because it's like tied to being attractive or something. I just don't want someone bulldozed for a crime that did not commit.
Caleb
I think they're trying to diminish the support of him because they are scared. They have. Yeah, they have a very obvious stake in no one wanting to kill very, very rich people for doing evil. Because if we start doing that well, they're going to get killed. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Lisa
So I get what's happening, but that's why I think it's more important than just because it's like we don't have a handwriting written analysis match. We don't know how he would have gotten from the hostel to the place in the time that they say he did. Did he leave the stuff in the park or was it on him? Like, there's just all these questions and the eyebrows don't match.
Caleb
Yeah, that's a big one.
Lisa
So to me I'm just like, fuck you. Let us comment and let me buy some shirts.
Caleb
You're like, I'm in Portugal, I don't have a side. I want a shirt though.
Lisa
But I'm not gonna do anything. Like, the authorities don't have to worry about me because I'm a stoner, I'm a casual girl. I'm funky fun. I like to go to dinner.
Caleb
You're the revolutionary, they can handle.
Lisa
Yeah, exactly.
Caleb
Trust me. Hey, I'm the radical that you can tolerate because I'm gonna. My ideas are bad, but my actions are good for y'all. I'm not Going anywhere.
Lisa
Yeah. And I'm just like. Well, I just want. And just like in parallel with the inmate firefighters on the west coast and just like, just everything that's happening and how it's all interconnected and just prison. I don't know. I'm just thinking about it.
Caleb
This is what I'm hoping for though, is that people will stop with this fucking like Donald Trump getting in office and immediately signing an executive order about pronouns or gender or whatever. It's like, guys, they are distracting us. They don't want us to think about the fact that it's class consciousness. That's the thing. Like, everybody can get behind this. Stop with the deportation. But I'm not saying don't worry about it. I'm saying, guys, the people who want it, stop, like, leave them alone. Leave immigrants alone. They don't need to be deported.
Lisa
Yeah.
Caleb
They're not hurting you. They're also just trying to make a living. It's the rich people trying to distract you.
Lisa
Yeah.
Caleb
And also by the way you say you want rich people to be handled. What? Where? How do you. Rich do you think is too rich? Just so I know.
Lisa
So my thing I'm even going to let people have. I have a lot of thoughts. Okay, ready? Well, because we. We just have to topple all of this. So my threshold is less than it would have been.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
If you've gotten rich through a creative pursuit, you can keep your money.
Caleb
Okay.
Lisa
I think if you wanted to, even billionaires, if you wanted to bring goodness into the world. Well, the billionaires and then start trying to buy like burnt up Hawaii land, then your creative stuff takes. Gets taken away.
Caleb
Okay. So that supersedes.
Lisa
Yes. When you start doing real estate crime, you know?
Caleb
Yeah, no, real estate crime with the creative money. Make your paintings, but leave the houses. Yeah, got it, got it. I like that. That's nice.
Lisa
But I feel like if you're like a singer, I don't know, I just, I don't think you're the issue.
Caleb
Yeah. Okay. That's convenient.
Lisa
Unless you're making merch with slave labor. It's just all so interconnected. It's like really, really tough because I doubt this CEO is even my rich threshold. But I think no one should make more than a billion. And once you hit a billion, all the money goes to social services.
Caleb
I 100% agree. But just to check the. The Taylor Swift branded cardigan that you bought this morning, like made with union labor or did you check in on that?
Lisa
No, I don't. But I also have lots of stuff that's made by, you know, enslaved children.
Caleb
Just wondering. Yeah, cool. No worries. Me too. I'm sure.
Lisa
So we get sewing machines. No, we're all a hypocrite. I'm a hypocrite. I'm a hypocrite.
Caleb
Well, no, we're all hypocrites. I'm just trying to interrogate, which I'm trying to figure out where we.
Lisa
One of the things I really believe in is if you come from generational wealth based on the work of enslaved people, you should lose all of your real estate, all of your money. It should be given to the descendants of those enslaved people, and you should start from nothing. Okay, so I believe in that. Okay, so if you come from generational wealth that profited off of enslaved humans, you can't keep your money.
Caleb
Right.
Lisa
Give it back.
Caleb
I think that's a. There's some. I think there's some merit to that. How would we figure that out?
Lisa
No, I don't know. I don't read enough to have, like, true opinions. It's like, all. I'm like, do you watch Veep?
Caleb
No, I've seen. I've seen, I've seen.
Lisa
Now I feel like the Chris. For anyone that. I feel like the Christopher Maloney character. He plays like, this gym bro who's like, I think money is actually evil. Like, that's how I feel.
Caleb
Well, that's nice, though. As long as the ideas are good, I don't really care about how we know.
Lisa
But if you work in evil industry, it's like if you're like, if you were one of the people that put money into, like, Zoom and masks before COVID and made money. Yeah. Your throat in the street in the town square.
Caleb
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Lisa
I want to watch it.
Caleb
Yeah. Interesting.
Lisa
Yeah. I just watched Hostel yesterday. Gave me a little bloodlust. I've never watched Hostel, so I watched it yesterday.
Caleb
I don't know what that is.
Lisa
Oh, it's a scary movie about, like, a hostel that sells people to rich people who want to murder for, like, joy.
Caleb
Oh, good night. That's no good.
Lisa
I also watch Jeepers Creepers.
Caleb
Oh, what the. Oh, yeah, that fellow with the. Yep. Drives the truck and has all the bodies down there.
Lisa
I had a really good night. This is why I can't have nights off from comedy.
Caleb
That's no good.
Lisa
You're always like, take a night off. And then I watched a documentary, Robin Williams films about a man.
Caleb
Now he's funny because he didn't have to be mean or nasty.
Lisa
He was Just except in one hour photo.
Caleb
Wow. What's that about?
Lisa
Oh, well, no, but he is sad at the end. But yeah, yeah, his crimes come from a sad place.
Caleb
How he does crimes. Here's where more than 50, 000 LGBTQ plus people have signed up for Folks Health Folks is the go to healthcare provider for our community. It was created for queer people by queer people. They provide everything from talk therapy to gender affirming hormone therapy to family planning. They have dedicated LGBTQ + clinicians and therapists around the country. So booking a visit online is really easy and always affirming. They accept insurance so you can pay with your co pay which is usually around $20 and you can have your med shipped straight to your door. Join over 50,000LGBTQ+ people already using folks for expert and affirming health care. Today's listeners get a 10 day free trial to folks plus 25 off your first three months with the code SO TRUE. Go to folxhealth.com and use the promo code so True to start your free trial.
C
Hi, I'm Kat.
Lisa
And I'm Pat.
C
We're from Seek Treatment podcast and we're here to talk about Blue Land. Do you know what I'm so about right now, Pat?
Lisa
What? Tell me. Do not not tell me.
C
Well, ready for this? I just heard that we're eating and drinking roughly a credit card's worth of plastic a week. Yeah, that's right.
Lisa
Oh my God.
C
I know. The products we're using are contaminating our water supply, generating hundreds of microplastics that we're eating. So here's the good news. You're never gonna believe this. Blueland is doing something about it. They're eliminating the need for single use plastic in the reach for the most.
Lisa
From cleaning sprays to hand soap, toilet bowl cleaner and laundry tablets, all blue and products are made with clean ingredients that you can feel good about. Blueland is trusted in over 1 million homes, including mine. That's correct.
C
They offer refillable cleaning products with a beautiful cohesive design that looks great on your counter. And refills start at just $2 and 25 cents. You can even set up a subscription or buy in bulk for additional savings. I use my Blueland spray today. I cleaned my dirty, dirty, dirty yoga mat with my Blueland all purpose spray today. It smelled good, it got the job done, and the bottle looked beautiful while doing it.
Lisa
Blueland has a special offer for listeners right now. Get 15% off your first order by going to blueland.com save15.
C
You won't want to miss this. Blueland.com. save 15 for 15 off. That's blueland.com. save 15 to get 15 off.
Lisa
I don't know. I just feel bad. Oh. I also, like. Like, things that should be social services, that shouldn't be private businesses, like jail. Like, that's something I'm passionate about. Right.
Caleb
Yeah. You love jail. You just want it to be done by the government.
Lisa
I want it to be about rehabilitation and not a business. Yeah.
Caleb
Yeah. So you want. You want socialized prisons instead of privatized ones?
Lisa
I do, but I don't trust our government either.
Caleb
Right. So then that becomes an issue.
Lisa
Change the 14th amendment. I mean, I don't know. I don't know. Like, where do you start? Like, this is what I mean. Where do you start? The throats of the start. Because I don't know where to start. Do we start with pharmacy? Do we start. Who do we start with?
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
Do we go to the Skulls, the Secrets, the Yale clubs?
Caleb
It's all really good questions. And I think everyone's feeling this way. It's overwhelming how bad so many things are. Life is beautiful, but the systems are bad. And it's like, yeah, I don't know where we would start. And all that being said, you have a special coming out on Netflix.
Lisa
Yeah, that. That. That's what's even more crazy. Like, I'll be talking. Talking to my bestie on the phone, and it'll be like, oh, God. Did you. Oh, God. And then I'll be like, but the party's gonna be. You know, it's like going in and out of tragedy is also, like, a privileged place to be. We're not in it. In it, you know? But I am also plugging my Netflix special days after the inauguration. We have to. But we have to keep going. It's, like, sick. Like, I don't know how to. Like, it's a wild life.
Caleb
Yeah, I'm with you, dude. I mean, it's a crazy. It's crazy to do this while the world is burning for me to be like, I gotta get to the studio and put out an episode of my podcast where I chat with my friends always.
Lisa
We just didn't. Maybe we just didn't know as much in the past. Yeah, people didn't know as much for sure.
Caleb
Ignorance is bliss. That's the whole entire thing. Knowledge is a burden. Knowing is awful. It's horrible because then if you have any kind of conscious and, you know things are bad, you should be acting towards making it good. If you know nothing, you're dumb. It's wonderful you can have a conscious and do nothing because you didn't know about it. That's the beauty of dumb. Dom is. Oh, my God. Dom is the best. I envy dumb. Smart is evil, bad stuff.
Lisa
I know.
Caleb
I don't like to know. I hate to know. In fact, I. But then if you don't know, they get mad at you for not knowing. They say, oh, you're avoiding to know. Well, to know is to hurt. I want to be dumb.
Lisa
To know is to hurt.
Caleb
Knowing is hurting. Dumb is comfy.
Lisa
Or, everyone should know. Yeah, that's another thing. Like, when did it start that, like, if you're in a poor neighborhood, your school's worse? What I don't know was that Reagan. Reagan.
Caleb
Hold on. Who did that? Who drew up that one? Who drew up that one? Tell me that. I really think this episode is gonna change things. Is that crazy to say no?
Lisa
But that's, like, all I have. Like, that's what I tell people. I'm like, you know, when I perform at a place where people are coming from all over the country and they're visiting and some people clap, they vot. They're happy. They're not mad. All I have is being able to get on stage and going, we're going to rich people, you know, like, that's all. That's all we have is our voice until it's taken away. Yeah, because they're going to come for, you know, schools, the artists. They're going to do it.
Caleb
They already have. They're already coming for schools in the artists. They're already cracking down on what we can teach and we can't teach. They're already cracking down on how, like, you know, there are fucking states that have drag bands. Like, you know, the number of DMs I get that are like, why don't you come to Florida, honey? I'm scared. What do you mean? You know, it's like, what? It's. It's. Yeah, it's bad. They're. They're fascistic. They're authoritative. And the sad part is everybody who loves the. Like, they love the. The deportations and the. There's only two. Gender is like, you are falling hook, line and sinker for the thing that is going to come for you as well. You will not end up safe in all of this.
Lisa
That's what I say on stage two. Sometimes I go, and at the end of the day, the people that voted for him, their lives will be worse, too.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
And that's my silver lining. I go, your kids are not gonna have schools. You're gonna be like breathing in smog.
Caleb
Does that make you genuinely happy, though? Because that makes me more sad.
Lisa
No, it makes me. I want them to suffer until they finally realize that it's not black people's fault. You know what I mean? Until they suffer, they'll never realize it.
Caleb
I want them to realize that. But it doesn't.
Lisa
Yeah, they'll realize it once we. Mark Zuckerberg.
Caleb
Chance having a heyday in the notes right now. He's like, much of this has to be cut. Let's air towards bleeps and not cuts.
Lisa
By the way, they'll guess a little.
Caleb
Editing note live in the episode. One of the only episode I think I've ever had to do that. No, but here's the deal. The reason it makes me sadder is not because I feel bad for them. The reason it makes me sadder is because they. They initiated, they match sticked all this evil and they're not even gonna get what they want from it. So it's senseless evil. If there was a world where they matchstick and like this fire of evil and then they get everything they want. Want, at least I can go, oh, you're a horrible, selfish, awful person. But you and your people are going to get what you want out of it. And so at least I understand why you did it. I can't even get there because I'm like, you're not going to get anything. And I'm hoping that this next administration will be people's moment to go, oh, the emperor has no clothes. Groceries will not get cheaper. Your life will not get better. Rich people will still have more money than you. Everything will not get better.
Lisa
But thank God. So the wife of the WWE starter is in the administrator, like, yeah, that's what's crazy.
Caleb
I know. The fucking education.
Lisa
At least Idiocracy had a fun spirit.
Caleb
Yeah, they were dumb.
Lisa
They were dumb, but chilling. Like they were. You know, Terry Cruz was like, fine in it.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
Is that his name or is that the guy? Oh, that. Who's the guy? In the South. That's a bad guy. That's Terry Crews.
Caleb
I didn't see Ted Cruz. I did not. Ted Cruz?
Lisa
Yes.
Caleb
Ted Cruz is an actor.
Lisa
Yeah. And he played the President Idiocy.
Caleb
The President Idiocracy. I've only seen bits and pieces.
Lisa
I was. I knew. I knew it.
Caleb
Yeah. Sorry.
Lisa
But you know a fun fact that I heard on the Internet is this movie was made. I don't know what year, but a while ago and they had to find like a shoe for everyone to wear. That's so stupid. That. And it was Crocs. Everyone in Idiocracy is wearing Crocs because they're like, well, no one will ever wear these.
Caleb
Really? Yeah. And now people love them.
Lisa
Yeah, they're comfortable.
Caleb
That's really interesting. Thank you for sharing that. I thought that was a beautiful fact.
Lisa
Is it?
Caleb
Maybe we move into the, the fun facts part of the episode.
Lisa
Yeah. So my Netflix special is out or coming out. It's called Night Owl. I take taped it in New York City. And you know, I've been doing stand up for 15 years and it's my first hour and I'm excited about it and it was fun.
Caleb
Will you tell? First of all, you're one of, one of, if not the best comedians working right now. And that's just a pure fact. And everyone has to go watch the special. It's gonna be amazing. Your stand up is always the most fun. I, I, I, I, literally, you are one of the only. We know every comedian working and you're one of the only people that I will leave my house just to go watch you do a set. You're that good. It's. Everyone has to go watch the special. That having been said, you're an extremely toxic person. No. I wonder if you'll tell people a little bit, because there are probably some people who are interested in this. How did you get to having a Netflix special? Like, what, what was the process of. Did you do the thing where you tape it first and then sell it to them? Or, like, what did it look like?
Lisa
Yeah, no, like, the industry is wild.
Caleb
I don't, I know it.
Lisa
But basically I did a show at Bell House and I taped it and then I sent it to all the people. Everyone said no. And even I think Netflix was like, man, maybe in a year. And I went, all right. So then I, and I am not good with money. I'd rather have fun. So I'm like, I'm not gonna finance it.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
So I went, I'm just not gonna do an hour. Like, whatever. I'm not gonna not keep doing comedy. And when it happens, it happens. And then two weeks later, I got a call from Netflix saying they'll let's do an hour.
Caleb
Yeah, love that.
Lisa
And so once I gave, it's like the classic. Once I gave up on that idea, it came forth and I knew I wanted to do it, tape it before the summer, because then I wanted to have a Fun summer in New York. Because I moved back to New York, and so. Yeah. Taped it in June. And I was ready. I was, like, beyond ready. That's the thing. I didn't have to, like, get ready because it's just. That's how I make my money. I'm on the road, and so. And I wanted, like. I didn't write a set list. I knew I was gonna end and start, but I didn't write a set list for either show. They were both different because I wanted it to be a reflection of how I performed and my favorite way to perform, which is loose in the moment in a basement late at night. And so I didn't want it to be like, I'm in a theater now doing a. Like. Like a pageant.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
Cause that's not how I perform.
Caleb
Yeah. So you.
Lisa
And so it was, like, really fun. I'm excited and natural and, like, I felt good about it and relaxed and all the other tapings of half hours and the five minutes and, like, that, like, all those lessons and everything I hated and everything was able to kind of all come together. Everything's about the lessons, man.
Caleb
Yeah. That's beautiful.
Lisa
Yeah.
Caleb
I'm really excited for it to come out.
Lisa
I am, too. I'm really excited. I mean, it's like. It's weird. You want to get rid of the nervousness because all the nervousness is how people are going to react to it or write about it or be into it or not into it. And you can't control that. So there's no point of worrying. It's the work I'm proud of. But it's hard not to be nervous.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
About, like, people. Like, a lot of. Hopefully a lot of people seeing it.
Caleb
Totally. A lot of people seeing it and being really nice about it and liking it. That's the hope. Right? It's like.
Lisa
Yeah.
Caleb
No one hopes that they have, like, a contentious special.
Lisa
I think some people do that don't have talent, but need to stoke the fires of what's happening in our country for success.
Caleb
I just would never think of that. I've never been untalented.
Lisa
Yeah.
Caleb
So it's hard for me to go to that place mentally.
Lisa
Yeah.
Caleb
Yeah. Damn. That must be hard for them.
Lisa
Yeah. They just have to do, like, hack racist material from 70 years ago.
Caleb
Yeah. And it working. Isn't that crazy.
Lisa
Yeah. At the convention. I mean, who.
Caleb
Working in an evil industry comedy. Like, a lot of these people are evil idiots.
Lisa
Yeah. Anywhere where there's, like, money, connection, anything, there's gonna be, like, evil Any sort.
Caleb
Of ego and microphones. I mean, this doesn't help. This makes you more. I'm, I, I can, you can feel it. When, when people are listening to you and, and regularly on purpose, you start to like, I, I, I, I've said on here a couple of times, like, I'll feel my, I'll hear myself say something and I'll go, go. Do you think that. You know what I mean? Like, it's really, it's an interesting. Not even necessarily anything that matters. I'll take an opinion on something. Sometimes in the middle of an episode that I'm like, huh, I wonder if I meant that. You know what I mean? But it's. You're talking, so I don't think people realize they listen to little snippets. They listen to one clip of a podcast or something on this on social media that came through their feed and they think like, well, I would have never said that. And it's like, yeah, but you don't talk for a living.
Lisa
It's. Yeah, we're talking. Yeah. So of course we're going to say up. You get to not talk. You are bo. Like, you sit like, no one knows what you think.
Caleb
You have the privilege of sitting behind the thing and then just pointing out. And it's like, but you don't do this. You don't make jokes. You don't, you don't, your thoughts don't matter. And see, even saying that, I'm like.
Lisa
I don't believe that I stopped myself.
Caleb
And it's like, I don't even believe that. It's just, I'm mad that they're being mean to me.
Lisa
But, But I've also in private said, stupid. I've had an opinion. And then my friends will talk to me and I'll be like, oh, my opinion was wrong. I didn't know this information. I'll be smarter. Or you get a gut reaction or a feeling or how you were, and you're like, oh, that's like, yeah, that's kind of what life's about, hopefully.
Caleb
Do you think you're generally right about people?
Lisa
No. I get swindled often and I get, I get, I get fucking bamboozled. But I also do trust since it. When I'm like, I don't really like this person, I feel good. Or like, that's shady. But I've. This just happened to me. I was at a party. I, I was talking to someone, having a good time, bonding, bonding. I walk away. They go, you know, he punched a woman. I go, no, I'm sorry.
Caleb
That's insane.
Lisa
Punched a woman, I think stabbed. So I go, no, I didn't know that.
Caleb
Stab somebody.
Lisa
What party were you telling me?
Caleb
Yeah. What part of you at that there's woman punchers and stabbers just running around for you to get cocktails with our industry. Yo.
Lisa
Hunt. Industry event.
Caleb
I hate that.
Lisa
No, but it was like, yeah, you. I don't know. All the time.
Caleb
Yeah. That's interesting. I was just wondering.
Lisa
But sometimes. But when I'm on stage, I read people really well. Like, I could tell where, like, what is up. If they're really. Like, I'm really proud of myself when I can, like, call it out. Or I ask, like, I get fortune teller vibes. I get how they do it. Because I'll ask, like, a qu. I don't know. Like, sometimes I just know if someone's not doing well or well. Like, I feel, like, intuitive. I do feel intuitive at times, but then sometimes it's so shut off, I can't not even say I'm intuitive because I've been swindled.
Caleb
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Identifying as someone who's easily swindled is so funny. Yeah. I get bamboozled a lot.
Lisa
No, I thought I. This. I was young, young, young. I'm sure I've, like, talked about this on podcasts before, but, like, I thought I got this, like, marketing job, and I showed up for training, and it was basically selling, like, products out of a van, door to door.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
And I didn't realize it was weird. I had to go home.
Caleb
That's American.
Lisa
My best friend. And my parents had to sit me down and be like, like, we don't think this is a real job.
Caleb
You did American, honey. Do you ever see that? No. Shia LaBeouf and a bunch of other people, kids in a Midwestern van selling, I think, magazine subscriptions. But it's a fake. It's a fake van job. And it's really.
Lisa
It's actually, I thought I got, like, hired for marketing. It's like, why would they hire me? I got arrested and had to drop out of Iowa State. I thought I got a marketing job.
Caleb
You're like, no, it's a real job. I'm the director of Intel. Yeah.
Lisa
Or like, I've just gotten into, like, friendships that then you're like, why are you. Wait, what the fuck? Like, I've definitely gotten myself in situations where I'm like, oh, my God, get me out of here.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
But I've also been right about a lot of people. I've Hated. I've been like, that's a shady motherfucker. And then, you know, stomping for fascism. And I was right.
Caleb
You dislike a lot of people, so the hit rate's pretty high.
Lisa
Yeah, but I don't know, it's just, like, annoying because people like. I don't like the. Like, if you're like, you. You seem crazy, but it's like, I was right.
Caleb
Yeah. Yeah. I might sound crazy, but I was right. That person sucks.
Lisa
I also, in our biz, it's just, like, tough because it's like, yeah, if I see you cheat on your wife, I'll never respect you.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
If you talk about cheating on women, I will never respect you.
Caleb
Yeah, that's easy. I like that for you.
Lisa
Yeah. Like, I won't speak to you again.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
Like, you have to respect women.
Caleb
That's beautiful.
Lisa
I can't.
Caleb
Do you have a problem with me in that regard? Because I don't love women romantically. Is that okay, or.
Lisa
Oh, yeah, that's not what I meant.
Caleb
That's fine. It's just that you. You have expressed a lot in private that you don't love gay people. So I wanted.
Lisa
Oh, wow.
Caleb
I wanted to just kind of publicly bring up that thing that you have about that.
Lisa
No, I'm pretty into it.
Caleb
Gay people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's pretty clear that I'm setting you up for a fake. A fake personality trait that. I was interested in it for a moment, but I've moved back to reality. You're an ally.
Lisa
Yeah, yeah. I've also, you know, I've more than a pussy or two.
Caleb
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I love that. I wish you were doing it all the time.
Lisa
I do, too. I'm like, I really actually need help. I need to get out there. I need to go on dates. I need to be, like, flirting out and about.
Caleb
What are you looking for? This is a perfect venue to be.
Lisa
Oh, I've been doing this for years. No. When people are like, oh, my God, I get all these disgusting DMs. I'm like, I would love one disgusting DM. Can someone try to objectify me in a rude way? Like, I. I can't even imagine.
Caleb
Someone should be.
Lisa
If you DM me, I will meet you.
Caleb
Like, be careful, because this is. Who are you looking? You have to say who you want to meet. You, though.
Lisa
I would like someone that is passionate about their life, like, into what they're doing.
Caleb
Any gender.
Lisa
Yeah, any gender.
Caleb
Any gender. Okay.
Lisa
I'm not. I will up your pronoun if it's not a classic. You gotta give me grace.
Caleb
Will you be remorseful about it?
Lisa
Oh, I always will switch it right away. I will stutter and do it right. But it's. I'm not gonna have a success rate.
Caleb
But if it's a new model, if it's not an og, I might stumble.
Lisa
I will stumble.
Caleb
Okay. That's beautiful to know about yourself.
Lisa
Yeah.
Caleb
I think there's a lot of grace for that.
Lisa
It's hard for me. So you can't be. You can't take it too seriously.
Caleb
Yeah. So I guess if you're non binary. Flirt with caution. Yeah. You might have a tough couple of dates.
Lisa
I'm gonna be on it, thinking about it, but I will fuck it up.
Caleb
Y. I think that's beautiful to know about yourself. That's lovely.
Lisa
I'm always try. Eventually I'll have to get good with practice. Like I practice often. I don't know why. That's how I feel with most things I do. Like I'm at Soul cycle. I'm over 220 classes.
Caleb
Congrats.
Lisa
Still cannot do. Put it back in a push. Like there's just some moves I like can't.
Caleb
There's moves.
Lisa
Of course there's Coro.
Caleb
I don't. I'll be honest with you. I love you to death and I'm very happy for you that you like it. But I. This is where my truth comes out. I. With Soul Cycle, I wear. Get it. You know, it's. It's not. We get it with you. It's just with Soul Cycle itself, I just don't. I can't. It's.
Lisa
Is it any group fitness or that one specifically?
Caleb
It's. It's. It's the. It's. It's Soul Cycle specifically. Because the way people talk about Soul Cycle like they have cured cancer when they go. I just feel that there's a self importance about going to Soul Cycle. That I'm like, I. It feels there's a. There's a taste to it.
Lisa
No, no, no. Yeah. There's not everyone is as fun and cool as me.
Caleb
You're cool about it?
Lisa
Yeah.
Caleb
You're cool about it. And you know who you know, I'm.
Lisa
Just also passionate about the teachers. I go, you know, like, like when you see someone doing what they're so good at, you get happy.
Caleb
Totally.
Lisa
And that's how I feel with the teachers I go to. I'm like, you are meant to motivate people on these bikes.
Caleb
Soul Cycle is much better than Peloton. Peloton got Very quickly to a place that was untenable. But do you know my favorite group workout culture? Zumba people. Those are good people. Zumba people are good people. They're not ostentatious. They're not. They're not full of themselves.
Lisa
They mostly just have joint issues.
Caleb
I think people, Zumba people are salt to the earth workout people. I love a Zumba person. Zumba community.
Lisa
I love you, but I can't keep going. I'm like, I don't have rhythm. I can't. I'm not doing Zumba. I like kickboxing. I would do big boxing back in the day.
Caleb
Nice.
Lisa
Yeah.
Caleb
You good at it?
Lisa
Yeah, I just. I try really hard.
Caleb
Yeah. Wait, Lisa, I'm so sorry. We got to get back to what you're looking for.
Lisa
So I'm looking for someone that's not like, bitter and angry at life. You know what I mean? Like, I want someone that's, like, into what they're doing.
Caleb
That's a low bar. Yeah.
Lisa
I would like someone that had as like, a community of some sort, like friends or cousins. Someone like people that they like a full life.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
Someone that you could leave at a party and can behave for 10 minutes. Not like a shadow.
Caleb
They need to be able to hold their own in a social event.
Lisa
Yeah.
Caleb
That's the biggest thing.
Lisa
Yeah.
Caleb
Please, God, have some social adeptness. I'm begging. And it's. It's okay if you don't. It's just not going to work with my lifestyle. I can't have you clinging to me like a.
Lisa
But I also, also, some people go, but you can be with someone that you just don't do these things with. And I'm like, that's not the life I want.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
I don't want to go to a party, be like, oh, you know, he's antisocial at home. No, no. I want to live a life with.
Caleb
A person that's not for my partner.
Lisa
Correct.
Caleb
Yes.
Lisa
I want to see stuff and I want someone that's. I mean, this is like, cheesy, but, like, down to lounge. I'm a lounger.
Caleb
Totally.
Lisa
But also, like, I like to go to museums and see art and go to concerts and sporting events. And, like, I don't want you to.
Caleb
Be with a lounger. I want you to be with someone who's pretty much spearheading the plans. I think someone would be great for you is someone who's like, hey, you're free Wednesday night. You don't have spots. Okay. Meet me at 7 o'clock. I made the plans. Like, someone who would just be like.
Lisa
Honestly, I can't even fathom living a life that good.
Caleb
You got horny. When I said it, I could feel it.
Lisa
I'm, like. I was, like, too shy to even say I would want something like that.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
I would love someone to be like, oh, surprise. Or like, yeah, we're gonna do something Wednesday. Or, like.
Caleb
And what do you want them to look like?
Lisa
It's tough.
Caleb
It'd be so funny if you said something crazy specific.
Lisa
Well, I'm, like, so opposite. For the girls and guys, I'm.
Caleb
This is helpful, though. They need to know this. Okay, Say that for a guy.
Lisa
I want. I want burly. I like. Like hair like a. Yeah, burly.
Caleb
Nice. Big.
Lisa
Big, strong. Played football.
Caleb
Flannel.
Lisa
Yeah. I always say we would.
Caleb
No, it's interesting. That's all. Yeah. What about women?
Lisa
Like, I looks like a Backstreet Boy.
Caleb
Okay.
Lisa
You might be thinner. Like. Like, Miley Cyrus is my dream girl.
Caleb
Okay.
Lisa
Yeah.
Caleb
Really? I don't find that. She looks like a backstreet Boy. Away.
Lisa
Oh, like her b. Like. Like little. Little thin.
Caleb
Thin. You want a small girl?
Lisa
I want. I like smaller. Boo. But that's, like, so specific. I'm, like, open. Like, obviously, like, girls are hot. I don't know.
Caleb
What cup size do you want?
Lisa
I'm, like, disgusted.
Caleb
Say cup size.
Lisa
I'm sickened by myself.
Caleb
Reveal cup size.
Lisa
No one. This is when no one DMS me.
Caleb
Reveal cup size. Do. Maybe do one of these.
Lisa
You know how gays sometimes will date someone that looks just like them?
Caleb
Close. Would they fit in here?
Lisa
I want to put the whole titty in my mouth.
Caleb
Oh, yeah. So we're talking like.
Lisa
No, I'm kidding.
Caleb
No, you're not.
Lisa
I sucked on big tits.
Caleb
Totally. But you want them to be small.
Lisa
No, I just, like. You know, there's gays that want that. Like, oh, you look exactly alike if.
Caleb
You have big titties. Don't hit Lisa. That's how it is.
Lisa
I want someone that's opposite of me.
Caleb
Yeah, you want a tiny little titty?
Lisa
Yeah.
Caleb
Maybe like an A cup.
Lisa
Yeah, it's just like, two titties. Like, that's just too much. Maybe a third. We can. We can together. A third big titty.
Caleb
Yes, you're a big titty third. No worries. You can't be at least as primary if you got huge, huge ass warlocks on your chest. If you got big knockers, you're not Lisa's primary. You might be someone she sleeps with on the side. Just for fun in an open situation. But you're not the number one. Right. Not building a family with someone who's got, you know, craters on the. It's not gonna work. Not craters. The opposite of craters. Mountains.
Lisa
I just love that, you know, I hired PR and they were. I was like, you really don't need to come to Caleb's show. He's my good friend and I feel like I've ruined my career before my. Finally my one hour special comes out and I am like, no. With, like, I don't. Yeah. Like the girls. It's opposite of me. I would say more butchy. Like a soft. But, like, more butchy.
Caleb
Okay.
Lisa
More masculine.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
And then for guys. Yeah. I just want like, like a big burly guy that wears a hat.
Caleb
Nice. Well, it's all good to know. A lot of stuff we could do with this information.
Lisa
Yeah.
Caleb
So if you're interested, hit these up. I'd love to see you get a floor. Are you checking the dms? Be honest. Because if you're not, there's no reason for me to send them there.
Lisa
I will. I don't respond to them all, but I'll. I. I like, slide through to see what's up. Yeah, but you also can't have a private profile. Like, if you're trying to, like, hit someone up in a sexual way. Like, you need to have at least like one good photo as your profile. But, like, have it be on private.
Caleb
Can I.
Lisa
Can I say a photo of a dog and it's private.
Caleb
I need to say something about this because you're so real. I have said on this podcast many times I have and will sleep with a fan. Okay. I'm hoping that era comes to a close soon. I'd love to lock it down and not be doing this anymore.
Lisa
God, please be married.
Caleb
God, oh God, I want to be married. God, please, if you can hear me, deliver me from this lifestyle.
Lisa
I want something serious. I want some, like, go out and if you are down to learn backgammon and dominoes, that's kind of important.
Caleb
And maybe a little bit of Russian would be fun. But if you are going to hit me up sexually in the DM requests, I need a clear face picture in the profile. If it's private, I need an age somewhere. I need a birthday post in the last year. I need to know where you generally are in the world. I need a location and age and a face picture. These people are hitting me up. I'm getting DMs. I'm getting DMs. That are like, you're right. It's a picture of a mountain in the profile. Everything else is locked. No bio. And it's like, hey, shooting my shot. Would love to take you out in Seattle, honey. I'll come to Seattle, but I need a headshot. Show me what you look like.
Lisa
And sometimes with girl dms, I'm like, oh, she's just a fan that thinks I'm done.
Caleb
You know, you need to be explicit about it.
Lisa
Yeah, you gotta be explicit. A little more winky winky. But yeah. I don't know why I. Because I remember I was going on dates with someone, we were watching a show, and I was like, oh, that person's hot. And they're like, oh, I don't think so. I think that person's hot. And I was like, oh, yeah, we have opposite tastes. That's like what we're into.
Caleb
Yeah. Hold on.
Lisa
Actually, you're into me and I'm into you, so that was like a cool moment to learn, but yeah, just someone that's, like, down, fun, flexible, adventurous, chill.
Caleb
Yeah, that's beautiful.
Lisa
Yeah. Honest. I kind of like honesty.
Caleb
Kind of of.
Lisa
I'm into honesty.
Caleb
Yeah. I don't think you're going to operate well with someone who's not into honesty. Yeah, you're gonna need that. As your friend, I'm telling you, that's gonna have to be upfront.
Lisa
Yeah. And I would love someone that's way smarter than me. Not hard, but, like, I want someone to, like, tell me about history. Yeah, that's my dream. Like someone that just knows stuff and then they can recap the books they read to me.
Caleb
Yeah. Okay.
Lisa
But then they have to be okay with someone that's not really a reader. And that's what's tough.
Caleb
Yeah. What do you bring to the table if you're not bringing read? If you're not going to recap books for them, what might you do for them? Them?
Lisa
Okay, I'm not going to recap books, which is fine.
Caleb
No one. You don't need to do that. Yeah. What do you do?
Lisa
Yeah, no, I would tell them about movies, TV shows.
Caleb
Yeah. Culture, really.
Lisa
Culture. I would take them to fun stuff, but I think special things. I pay attention. I know what people like. Like, I think it would be, like, very. I like thoughtfulness, so I. I bring thoughtfulness to the table.
Caleb
I love that.
Lisa
I'm like, not a people, but, like, this used to be a struggle for me where I wouldn't speak up for what I wanted because I was so invested in making some, like, Whatever you want. Oh, whatever you want. And then I would be resentful.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
Because I'm not doing what I want.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
And so that is something I have to control in myself. Like I would. I. But that's my instinct.
Caleb
I went on this exact same journey where I. I feel like when I was a little bit younger, I was. I don't think I was ever like you said, a people pleaser. But I would resent people for things that I allowed them to do. And going on that journey of being like. You are allowed to disagree. Dislike me. I do not care. I can't care. You can be mad at me, you can dislike me, you can not enjoy. You can also tell me you don't want to do that thing and. But then I won't resent you because I said what I needed. Yeah, I am so. That was such a big growth thing for me of being like. You can be mad at me. I'm not going to. I'm not going to prioritize your feelings over our relationship because it will hurt our relationship if I let you do something to me or around me that I don't enjoy or appreciate and then I just resent you. That's not fair also.
Lisa
So that's why when I feel people can't get over a breakup, especially for me, it's not as much as what that person did. It's like what I allowed always. It's like I'm always more mad at myself for.
Caleb
For. What do you mean? Like stuff you allowed in a relationship?
Lisa
Yeah.
Caleb
Oh, interesting.
Lisa
Just like not seeing or being like, ugh, I can't believe I was like acting like that. It's not even that that person like that I put up with the stuff. Not as much as.
Caleb
What do you think your red flags are?
Lisa
I'm impatient. I fly off the handle. I'm conspiratorial.
Caleb
I don't. I don't know what I expected. And also you're. None of those are untrue. But I'm impatient. I fly off the handle. I'm conspiratorial. It's like you sound like every man I grew up around. But the difference is, is the self awareness that you have. They could never. I'm impatient. I fly off the handle. I'm conspiratorial.
Lisa
Well, I love that. And I'm a little gross. Like I didn't shower today.
Caleb
No worries.
Lisa
Like I'm just a little gross.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
A little messy. Like things don't bother. Like I just.
Caleb
Cuz I'm too messy.
Lisa
I'm too fucking clean. No one's ever said that about me.
Caleb
Too fucking clean?
Lisa
Yeah. Never.
Caleb
Yeah, that part never gets there. Okay.
Lisa
Never about it. Like I, Yeah, I feel like a little careless, sloppy in that way. Yeah. And I, I. Because I do talk a lot, but sometimes like I have trouble communicating when it's like a serious thing. Like conflict resolution stresses me out really. But like to get better about it. No, I've gotten better and better. Like the fur. The further you are away from me, the easier it is to be honest. And then the closer it is like, Like I grew up in a non communicative household, so I really have to like work on that and have been.
Caleb
I'm just so interested, I guess in.
Lisa
The casualness where it's like, hey, this bothered me. Okay.
Caleb
You want. You tend to make it a fight.
Lisa
Yeah. That's how I grew up.
Caleb
That's how you know. Okay.
Lisa
Scream.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
Silent treatment.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
And then you pretend never happened.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
Well, that's good.
Caleb
Yeah. Okay.
Lisa
Yeah. So it took me like a long time to realize it wasn't good.
Caleb
That's really good though.
Lisa
You can work through friends that it's not just done, you know, stuff like that.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
But then, because, but then I would have a fear of losing so I wouldn't bring stuff up and it all. It always eventually comes out and it resulted in endings of friendships that probably wouldn't have happened if I was able to communicate.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
More effectively.
Caleb
That's really self aware and beautiful. Yeah, I love that.
Lisa
Oh, I guess my other flaw I'm not good with like, I will spend your money.
Caleb
Yeah. Okay.
Lisa
Like you have to make sure you have a savings account that I can't get a hold of.
Caleb
Yeah. You will keep separate bank accounts for you.
Lisa
Yeah.
Caleb
For your own good. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Lisa
No, I want to like do stuff. Stuff I. Yeah. Pay for parking.
Caleb
I'm bad with money. I want to do stuff. That's so funny, dude.
Lisa
Yeah.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
I don't want to say no. I want to go to dinner. I want to. I want to do stuff.
Caleb
Yeah. I've same floor seats. I was living. I was living now. I was living then the way I live now when I didn't have the resources to.
Lisa
Yeah.
Caleb
When I had no money, I was like, chance will tell you I overdrafted my bank account to go out to eat when someone asked me to. I never said no.
Lisa
Yeah. I would be like, oh, do I have $250 in my account? Okay. I could do $100 dinner easily, no problem.
Caleb
That'll figure itself out.
Lisa
Especially Chicago, because my rent was 400. Always it's like, yeah, you, you really only had to scrape up 400.
Caleb
Yeah, that was the old days. Yeah, that was back in the day. That was good stuff.
Lisa
That was good stuff.
Caleb
I, I, it's so funny. I was thinking the other day, my rent when I was in Chicago was, was my, my rent for the place I was at for two years was like, $720 for my room. And I, I, I felt like, like I was moving mountains to get that done every month. And now I'm like, you really couldn't find 700 bucks a month? Like, I had a job where I was making enough to make that happen. Not crazy to not have 700amonth, by the way. Anyone listening who has a different job situation than I did? I'm not judging. I had a job that made it more than capable for me to do that. But then I look and I go, that's because you were never saying no. You were spending money on anything but rent. And then rent was like this thing where I was like, they can't do this to me.
Lisa
But I also because of it.
Caleb
What do you mean?
Lisa
But I remember I was a salon receptionist in my later teens, and everyone else was, like, adults living and working. I was living with my parents. My parents got me my car. Like, I just had kind of a different situation. So I remember I was at the reception desk with my paycheck that was like 300 something dollars. But I was trying. I was bidding on ebay to buy Anthony Kiedis from the Red Hot Chili Pepper Pants. I, like, wanted his pants.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
And everyone was like, but don't you need that money to live? And I'm like, I'll be fine. Like, I didn't like. And I just remember that moment. But I was like, I don't have enough, but I'm buying these. I'm getting these pants.
Caleb
I need the pants.
Lisa
I didn't win the thing, thank God.
Caleb
That's your least favorite tattoo of yours, isn't it?
Lisa
Yeah.
Caleb
Your Red Hot Chili Peppers one.
Lisa
Yeah.
Caleb
Yeah, I like it.
Lisa
But you told me my sweetie one got like, Like, I got scarred.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
So, like, I'm mad that I got scarred by an inexperienced person, but, you know, sometimes you have to. I won't. I don't learn lessons, so I need to be scarred to remember. Maybe make an appointment ahead of time.
Caleb
Tattoo artists should be faking it till they make it, though. You'll get a tattoo from someone who they have such an official looking presence and. And shop and things. And then later on you'll find out they're three months out of their apprenticeship. And I'm like, you should have told me.
Lisa
Yeah.
Caleb
You know, I'm like, whoa.
Lisa
Yeah. Wait, did you watch. Did you see Barbie's movie? Bob Irving likes it.
Caleb
Bob Trevine, Barbie Ferreira's new movie. I was meant to go to a screening of it. Did you go?
Lisa
I did go.
Caleb
Got canceled, so I didn't get to go. How was it?
Lisa
Cried hysterically. It was like, so, so good. But the reason I brought it up was because it had something to do.
Caleb
Tattoo artists.
Lisa
Oh. She goes to a therapist who's like, studying to be a therapist, and she's only 12 hours into her clinical and needs 3,000 hours.
Caleb
She's incredible. I can't wait to see Bob. Trino likes it. Barbie Ferrera. And John, like, Wasamo.
Lisa
When I saw John, because I knew nothing. I was just like, you know, you introduced me to your friend. I love. I want to feel cool. I want to go to Tribeca, you know, like, I loved everything and I'm. I'm a film girl. But I was blown away.
Caleb
I was devastated to miss it.
Lisa
Heartbreak. I mean, you're gonna see. I bet it's gonna be a big hit.
Caleb
Because it's like, I will see it, but I really wanted to go. Barbie's so excited about it, and I wanted to support her at that. But my fight. Yeah, my fight got canceled.
Lisa
It really was like, so good.
Caleb
God, that's so fun.
Lisa
Cuz I was went. Yeah. I've also been to a screening of A Friend where it was one of the worst things I'd ever seen. And it was cool to experience the opposite.
Caleb
Yeah. It's nice to go and be like, oh, actually, whoa, whoa. This is actually so good.
Lisa
Well, because she also downplayed it.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
She kept me like, oh, God. And then it's like, are you gonna get nominated for an award?
Caleb
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, she's incredibly talented. It's actually crazy.
Lisa
But, yeah, it was like low hours. But I. But I've gotten tattoos by people that were newer apprentices. That's how I started getting tattoos. It was like someone else worked at the hair salon's partner was, you know, sweeping. Yeah. Get. Get into it. This was a shop I trusted. Yeah. It was a bummer.
Caleb
That is a bummer.
Lisa
It was a real bummer.
Caleb
So sorry that happened to you.
Lisa
No, it's okay.
Caleb
What's so true to you?
Lisa
But also, I do want to say Trying to get people to date me. I just want someone to be the aggressor. I feel like I'm always having to have these crushes or, like, long lost or like, I'm figuring stuff out. I want someone to, like, put in some effort.
Caleb
Yeah, don't I know it? I mean.
Lisa
Yeah, you're the effort.
Caleb
Boy. Someone who makes a plan and, like, does. It's like, God, that would be so nice for someone else to be like, hey, I bought tickets. Hey, I made a dinner reservation. Hey, I'm grabbing the bill. Hey, I'm. I'll get like. And it's not about money either. It's not about grabbing the bill.
Lisa
No. It's about generosity.
Caleb
It's. It's leg. It's logistical generosity. It's like being like, hey, what are you doing Tuesday night? Nothing. Okay, meet me here. We're. I've got it.
Lisa
Even if it's like, come over and we'll. This came out today. Or I just got that. Like, I'm fine for that kind of hang.
Caleb
Or it's. You said. You said that you wanted to try this restaurant, and it's really hard to get tables, so I called until I got us one, and we're got, like. It's like, that's. That's fine. You don't even need to pay for the meal. Get us. Do something.
Lisa
Yeah.
Caleb
God. Do something, dude. It's the do something challenge, and everyone's failing. It's the do something challenge.
Lisa
It's also, like, how different lives are. I went out with two of our really, really beautiful friends. Name them Sydney and Marie, of course.
Caleb
Gorgeous.
Lisa
I mean, they get shouted like, oh, my God, you're beautiful. Like, people are running to them.
Caleb
It's crazy to watch.
Lisa
And I was telling a friend, they're like, well, they're well known. Was it fans? I go, no, these are not people that knew who they were.
Caleb
Also that, by the way. But this is a different thing.
Lisa
Yes. I experienced those too. They got recognized. But it was like, people being like, you're gorgeous.
Caleb
If an ambulance.
Lisa
And I was like, wow. To live that life. I can't even imagine. Because Marie was like, well, if you want to meet someone. Because I really want to meet someone. I've been single for, like, six years.
Caleb
Here we go. I already know this. Go ahead.
Lisa
You know this.
Caleb
No, but I. Marie goes, yeah, well, I want down the street.
Lisa
I know that I like guys that wear this type of brand of clothing. So I'm gonna hit up those stores, do a lap and meet people. I Go.
Caleb
Truly, people.
Lisa
Ma'am, are you looking for something because you can't fit.
Caleb
They put me in Lacoste jail.
Lisa
Yeah. Yeah.
Caleb
It's not happening for me.
Lisa
So the advice sometimes that, like, really, I'm like, yeah. I was so glad I got to hang out in the day with them.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
Because I was like, the. The different life we live. And I'm like, I want. I want.
Caleb
When they walk down the street, an ambulance with their lights on and a patient coding in the back will stop to be like, I love your coat. Like, it is like, hot people. And hot people always have these most disgusting dating advice. Like, I'm not on any of the apps. I meet people out. I'm like, well, guess what? When I try to do that, no one, like, here's the deal. I. Plenty. But it takes logistical work. You know what I mean? I'm not leaving the house and not knowing that I'm. It takes. I have to. There's court, there's many people at work. Levers are moving that you couldn't imagine for me to get laid. You know, it's like, no, I'm not. One of my hot friends will be like, oh, yeah, just. Just go to the bar and, like, see who's about. Who's about.
Lisa
Yeah, yeah. I go. I go sit at the bar and.
Caleb
I hit on someone who didn't.
Lisa
We have.
Caleb
If I hit on someone who didn't agree to it on an apple, get stabbed. People are not into it.
Lisa
Yeah, it's tough. So seeing that, like, so wildly in the day in the city, I'm like, God, such different lives.
Caleb
Yeah. It's crazy. It's really interesting.
Lisa
Just have them pay for your trip. And I'm like, yeah, okay.
Caleb
Well, they're be. Well, you're beautiful, too. But it's a different kind of, like. It's a different kind of, like, universal thing with people who are like, I don't know, dude. It's like, I just don't. It doesn't happen for me that way.
Lisa
Yeah.
Caleb
I have to work. I have to find people who are into my little thing.
Lisa
Unless it's like, I guess midnight at a hotel bar, and I'm staying at that hotel, but I've still fumbled that.
Caleb
I've messed that one up. I've messed that one up. Oh, God, that's so funny. Lisa, tell me what's so true to you right goddamn now.
Lisa
What's so true to me? Honestly? Feeling grateful?
Caleb
Yeah. Gratitude is true to me.
Lisa
Gratitude. I just. I. With everything happening in the world, I keep it's like so self helpy but I keep just sitting in my apartment being like oh my God, I can't believe I have an apartment in New York City.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
I can't believe because I, at first I was. This was my first winter with a radiator heat since I was a child. And the noises, I was complaining a little.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
And then all of a sudden I'm like, I can't believe I have free heat.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
I'm like, I have heat here. Like I'm just sitting in my own peaceful space beating bracelets. Like I can't even believe it. And not even thinking about like the career stuff or being able to perform or the special or anything like, like just these little things. A friendship, having people text or call or plans. Like it just feels cool.
Caleb
I ground myself all the time in this, in this fact. And I tell often friends who are spinning out that want to talk about it. I'm like listen, here's the reality. If you.
Lisa
Cuz I've spun out too. You've been. Yeah, the last time I spun out totally.
Caleb
And I spin out. We all spin out. But the reality is this. If you wake up in a, in a climate controlled environment that has heat or air conditioning depending on what the thing is, is if you wake up in a bed, if you can go take a shower, if you have clean water to take a drink of, you are living a better existence than like most people who have ever lived. Still some people currently living don't have it like that Many, many, many people do not have that. And like most people who lived ever in the whole world never had that. So just that is very grounding to me because it's like everything else is cool. I have many privileges on top of that. I'm a very lucky person. Thank God I have warm community and a career I like and all that kind of stuff. Stuff. But like that's enough. If, if, if you have the worst day ever and people are, you know, you're someone's being mean to you or you're this relationship's falling apart or your job sucks or whatever, none of that is invalid. That's all real. That's also can be, can suck. But if you wake up in a bed and you have a climate controlled environment and clean water to drink, that is insane.
Lisa
It's insane.
Caleb
That's insane. And you have a, you're very lucky for that. And we are. That's a very lucky thing.
Lisa
Yeah. Cuz when you walk around the city like people are working, working hard at Jobs that I can't imagine they're into.
Caleb
Right.
Lisa
People are really working really hard in a place where they're not. They don't have the free time.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
And by the way, free time, like, I. Sometimes when I don't have plans or work, I don't like that.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
But it's like, to have free time. I, I. Yeah. It's just the magnitude of how good my life is is kind of hit its peak. I don't know.
Caleb
Gratitude is lovely. So true. I like that. So true for you.
Lisa
Yeah. It feels really, really true at this moment. It. And that's how I felt in the beginning. To bring it back to how we started this, where it's, like, where I feel cool knowing some of them are feeling cool that I know a person in a movie. I think it's like being around creative people like that or people that are also living their dream. Like, that's what's.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
Maybe, like, cool about it.
Caleb
Yeah. Well, Lisa, we have one more second.
Lisa
Yeah. I was about to say, you already know what it is.
Caleb
We're gonna play a game. Don't look at that screen because it's gonna be on there.
Lisa
So I'm not looking at it.
Caleb
You're not looking at that because it has the answers up there. And. Yeah. So we have a segment for you, which, you know, you've played it before.
Lisa
Yeah.
Caleb
Yeah. I'm gonna read you 15 statements. You're gonna tell me as quickly as you can if you think they're true or false, and if you get 10 or more correct, Lisa, I'm gonna give you 50 US dollars. Are you ready?
Lisa
Yeah.
Caleb
Don't look at that screen. I want to see your eyes firmly away from that screen. Alaska has more caribou than people.
Lisa
True.
Caleb
True. Theodore Roosevelt was blind in one eye.
Lisa
False.
Caleb
True. The first laptop computer was invented in 1981. False.
Lisa
False.
Caleb
True. A hexagon has eight sides.
Lisa
False. False.
Caleb
It has six. The Rainforest Cafe in Chicago is still open.
Lisa
False.
Caleb
False. Joan Rivers never won a Daytime Emmy.
Lisa
Oh. True.
Caleb
False. She won one.
Lisa
Yay.
Caleb
The standard Chinese typewriter has 1500 characters.
Lisa
Typewriter.
Caleb
The standard Chinese typewriter has 1500 characters.
Lisa
False.
Caleb
That's true. There's a city in South Dakota called T. True. There's a city in North Dakota called Beta.
Lisa
True.
Caleb
False. Lemonade was invented in 1299 A.D. ooh.
Lisa
True.
Caleb
True. The medical term for your kneecaps is the Claude.
Lisa
False. False.
Caleb
The patella Lego has never made a Seinfeld collector set.
Lisa
False. I bought it for my friend for Christmas.
Caleb
There are four Al's Beef locations in Chicago.
Lisa
I gotta stay true.
Caleb
It is true. The movie version of the wizard of Oz is three hours long now.
Lisa
False.
Caleb
False. Hour and 42 minutes. Niles. Niles. North High School's mascot is the Spartans.
Lisa
False.
Caleb
Falsehood.
Lisa
The Vikings. Nice.
Caleb
Let's go. How'd you actually do?
Lisa
Really? I didn't think I got 10. Oh, thank God. I feel bad. I didn't know that Joan Rivers won. She is a hero.
Caleb
She is a hero. But, hey, congratulations to her on the award, huh?
Lisa
I'm so happy that I got 10. And I'm so. I can't believe I bought that Seinfeld for a friend.
Caleb
Oh, that's so beautiful. Of course you do.
Lisa
Lane. Julia's boyfriend. Yeah, I love it.
Caleb
Lisa, tell people where they can find you in the special.
Lisa
Netflix Night Owl, January 28th. Can't wait. And then. Or it's already out. And then glitter cheese on the Internet, and that's messed up. An SVU podcast on podcast. You know, podcasts.
Caleb
When Lisa's episode comes out, the special will be out.
Lisa
I really want to be in top 10. I really want to be in top 10. So if you can watch it as soon as you can, I would like that.
Caleb
Go see it.
Lisa
And maybe it's desperate. I don't need external validation, JK. I need it. I need to be in top 10. Because I want to be on. Watch what happens live.
Caleb
Of course.
Lisa
And he doesn't respect. Respect, people. Unless you're in the top 10. Unless you're top 10.
Caleb
I need Andy Cohen's respect. Watch the special.
Lisa
I also. I want to eat hot ones. I want to eat the hot wings.
Caleb
Yeah.
Lisa
And to eat the hot wings and get asked those questions, you need to be popular.
Caleb
You need to be top 10.
Lisa
You need to be top 10.
Caleb
So watch the goddamn special. Lisa, I love you so much.
Lisa
I love you.
Caleb
I'm so proud of you. Congratulations, baby. That was a Headgum podcast.
D
Hi, guys. I'm A.A. wodom. Check out my new show. Thanks, dad. Now on Headgum. I was raised by a single mom, and I don't have a relationship with my dad. And, spoiler, I don't think I'm ever gonna have one with him because he's dead. But I promise you that's okay, because on my new podcast, I sit down with father figures like Bill Burr, Kenan Thompson, Adam Pali, Hasan Minhaj, Tim Meadows, Andy Cohen, and many, many more. I get to ask them the questions I've always wanted to ask a dad. Like, how do I know if the guy I'm dating is the one. Or how can I change the oil in my car?
Lisa
Can.
D
Can you even show me that? Or better yet, can you help me perfect my jump shot? I am so bad at basketball. Oh, my gosh. Maybe. Maybe I'm bad at basketball because I don't have a dad. But subscribe to thanks, dad on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Cast, or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes drop every Monday.
Podcast Summary: So True with Caleb Hearon – Episode: Liza Treyger Returns
Release Date: January 30, 2025
In this engaging episode of So True with Caleb Hearon, host Caleb Hearon welcomes back his good friend and fellow comedian, Liza Treyger. The conversation spans a wide array of topics, blending personal anecdotes with broader social commentary, all delivered with the characteristic humor and honesty that listeners have come to love from both Caleb and Liza.
The episode kicks off with a humorous yet candid exchange about a missed invitation to Caleb’s party, highlighting the strains that friendships can endure.
Liza shares her frustrations:
“Every party I’ve thrown, someone is pissed… Why are you putting more weight on a pothead inviting you than what I truly do feel for you?” ([00:21]).
Caleb responds with his typical wit:
“You knew I was a snake when you picked me up. Honey, why are you mad at me for forgetting something? It’s all I do.” ([00:45]).
This light-hearted banter sets the tone for a deeply personal conversation about friendship dynamics and the challenges of maintaining relationships amidst personal flaws.
Liza delves into her daily routines, living above a coffee shop, and her efforts to manage mental health issues. She discusses the impact of Wellbutrin on her life:
“I got back on the Wellbutrin, and now I’m wearing a lip color… It's kind of work. It’s crazy.” ([03:31]).
This segment underscores the importance of mental health management and the role of medication in improving daily functioning. Caleb echoes her sentiments, emphasizing the value of support systems:
“She’s probably reselling those. And that’s nice. That’s good. That’s a nice thing.” ([04:59]).
A significant portion of the conversation explores the concept of community and whether actions are genuinely altruistic or driven by transactional motives. Liza grapples with this dichotomy, pondering:
“Is it community, or is it transaction? I never really know.” ([01:40]).
Caleb reinforces the idea of genuine community engagement versus transactional interactions, highlighting the complexity of human motivations.
Liza passionately discusses her views on generational wealth and its ties to historical injustices:
“If you come from generational wealth based on the work of enslaved people, you should lose all of your real estate, all of your money.” ([25:02]).
This sparks a profound discussion on economic disparities and the moral obligations tied to inherited wealth. Caleb acknowledges the complexities involved in addressing such deep-rooted issues:
“I think there's some merit to that. How would we figure that out?” ([25:24]).
The conversation shifts to Liza’s burgeoning career in comedy, focusing on her upcoming Netflix special, "Night Owl". She recounts the challenges of securing a deal and the creative process behind her performance:
“I did a show at Bell House and I taped it… two weeks later, I got a call from Netflix saying they'll let’s do an hour.” ([36:09]).
Caleb offers heartfelt praise, encouraging listeners to support Liza’s work:
“You're one of the best comedians working right now… Everyone has to go watch the special.” ([35:27]).
This segment highlights the resilience required in the entertainment industry and celebrates Liza’s achievements.
Both hosts reflect on their personal privileges and the importance of gratitude amidst societal challenges. Liza emphasizes her appreciation for having a stable living environment:
“I keep just sitting in my apartment being like oh my God, I can't believe I have an apartment in New York City.” ([65:36]).
Caleb adds a grounding perspective:
“If you wake up in a bed and you have a climate-controlled environment and clean water to drink, that is insane.” ([66:29]).
These reflections serve as a reminder of the often-overlooked comforts that many take for granted.
Towards the end of the episode, Caleb introduces a fun and interactive segment where Liza participates in a True or False challenge. This light-hearted game tests their knowledge on various quirky facts, adding a playful element to the conversation.
Notable Quote:
“Alaska has more caribou than people.” ([68:46]).
Liza impressively scores 10 out of 15, celebrating her success and adding an entertaining twist to the episode’s dynamic.
As the episode nears its end, both hosts share final thoughts and promote upcoming projects. Liza highlights her Netflix special’s release:
“Netflix Night Owl, January 28th. I really want to be in top 10. So if you can watch it as soon as you can, I would like that.” ([70:14]).
Caleb expresses his pride and support for Liza, wrapping up the episode on a positive and encouraging note.
Conclusion
In "Liza Treyger Returns", Caleb Hearon and Liza Treyger deliver a heartfelt and multifaceted discussion that intertwines personal stories with broader societal issues. The episode offers listeners a blend of humor, vulnerability, and insightful commentary, making it a compelling listen for both regular fans and newcomers alike.
Notable Quotes:
Listeners are encouraged to watch Liza Treyger’s Netflix special and stay tuned for future episodes filled with authentic conversations and heartfelt humor.