Rachel Pegram Vs. Landlords

Summary

Podcast Summary: So True with Caleb Hearon
Episode: Rachel Pegram Vs. Landlords
Release Date: September 19, 2024

So True with Caleb Hearon, a weekly podcast hosted by beloved gay comedian Caleb Hearon, delves into personal experiences, comedic insights, and real-life challenges. In the episode titled "Rachel Pegram Vs. Landlords," Caleb sits down with fellow comedian Rachel Pegram to discuss a variety of topics ranging from their comedic journeys to personal anecdotes about life and relationships. This detailed summary captures the essence of their conversation, highlighting key discussions, memorable quotes, and the dynamic between the two hosts.

---

1. Road Trip Memories and Comedic Beginnings

A. Highway Realizations and Hurricane Experience

Rachel and Caleb reminisce about their road trip through Texas, highlighting humorous misunderstandings and intense experiences.

• High Occupancy Vehicle (HOV) Lane Epiphany:

  • Caleb: "We both at the same time went, huh?" [00:48]
  • They both realized the meaning of HOV lanes simultaneously, leading to a shared moment of amusement and realization.
  • Rachel: "High occupancy broom vehicle." [01:21]

• Driving Through a Hurricane:

  • The duo narrates their calm facade amidst a severe storm, discussing hydroplaning and the decision to seek shelter.
  • Caleb: "Do you want to drive?" [03:12]
  • Rachel: "I just realized we hydroplane." [02:35]
  • Caleb: "We definitely hydroplane." [02:35]
  • They recount pulling into a diner for safety, receiving free beignets, and the absurdity of the situation.
  • Rachel: "They were confused because I think I was in a short." [03:19]

B. Reflections on Their Bond

Caleb and Rachel discuss their friendship, formed through shared performances and mutual support.

• Caleb: "We grew up in Texas. Grew up in Denton, Texas." [20:15]
• They highlight how their experiences and backgrounds have solidified their bond.

---

2. Stand-Up Comedy: Characters vs. Authenticity

A. Transition from Characters to Self

Rachel and Caleb delve into their stand-up careers, exploring the challenges and revelations of performing as characters versus being their authentic selves.

• Caleb's Struggle with Characters:

  • Caleb: "I went back to being this guy." [44:23]
  • He discusses his initial reliance on characters to mask his insecurities and the eventual shift to authentic storytelling.
  • Rachel: "Sometimes you just gotta get back in you." [44:26]

• Rachel's Minimalist Approach:

  • Rachel: "I always did as minimal as possible." [43:05]
  • She emphasizes using simple, additive props that enhance rather than overshadow her performance.

B. The Craft of Comedy Without Overreliance on Props

Both comedians agree on the importance of substance over spectacle in stand-up.

• Caleb: "The joke was not worth the setup." [43:53]
• They share anecdotes about ineffective character performances and the lessons learned to prioritize genuine humor.

---

3. Personal Insights: Mental Health and Perspectives on Life

A. Embracing Mortality and Mental Resilience

Rachel and Caleb discuss their views on death, mental health, and finding joy amidst challenges.

• Caleb's Philosophy:

  • Caleb: "If I were to die, these things would all be erased. And it makes me really happy." [26:53]
  • He shares his coping mechanisms, emphasizing a positive outlook despite acknowledging life's impermanence.

• Rachel's Coping Strategies:

  • Rachel: "I list all the people in my head that I love." [29:00]
  • She details how reflecting on her life accomplishments helps alleviate anxiety, especially during stressful moments like plane rides.

B. Overcoming Depression

Both hosts touch upon their past struggles with depression and the strategies that helped them overcome it.

• Caleb: "This perspective is what brought me out of depression." [24:17]
• They highlight the importance of shifting focus from fears to gratitude and future aspirations.

---

4. Comedic Segments and Interactive Games

A. True or False Quiz

Rachel and Caleb engage in a lively true or false quiz, challenging each other's knowledge with humorous stakes.

• Caleb: "If you get 10 or more correct. I'm gonna give you 50 US dollars." [70:20]
• Rachel impressively answers most questions correctly, showcasing her quick thinking and comedic timing.
  • Example Question: "Sharks are technically mammals, not fish."
    Rachel: "False." [70:42]

B. Improvised Comedy Bits

The episode features spontaneous comedic exchanges, reflecting their chemistry and ability to riff off each other.

• Character Impressions:

  • Caleb and Rachel attempt various accents and characters, leading to playful banter and laughter.
  • Caleb: "If I tell you I'm gumping it, just know I'm running across the country." [32:20]

• Creative Duo Ideas:

  • They fantasize about forming a comedic duo with characters from popular culture, blending humor with creative concepts.
  • Caleb: "We need to form a duo." [72:27]

---

5. Navigating the Rental Market: A Critical Take

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing the frustrations of the rental market, particularly the absurdity of broker fees.

• Caleb's Rant on Broker Fees:

  • Caleb: "I just paid a fifty-nine hundred dollar broker fee to get an apartment." [56:16]
  • He shares his negative experiences with real estate agents, highlighting systemic issues in urban rental markets.
  • Rachel: "The landlord should always pay." [57:40]

• Rachel's Rent Increase Experience:

  • Rachel: "I just got a rent increase at my place, and I was like, about. Well, listen, not that much." [58:56]
  • She discusses the challenges of rent hikes and the poor maintenance of rental properties.

---

6. Light-Hearted Banter and Wrap-Up

Towards the end of the episode, Rachel and Caleb transition to lighter topics, sharing humorous anecdotes and playful teasing.

• Discussing Music Preferences:

  • They talk about favorite albums and music, blending personal tastes with comedic flair.
  • Rachel: "Tapestry by Carole King is a really good one." [66:55]

• Final Thoughts on Friendship and Support:

  • Caleb: "I think you're a genius and I just love you." [75:28]
  • They conclude with mutual appreciation, reinforcing their strong friendship and collaborative spirit.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Caleb: "We both at the same time went, huh?" [00:48]
• Rachel: "High occupancy broom vehicle." [01:21]
• Caleb: "We definitely hydroplane." [02:35]
• Rachel: "I just realized we hydroplane." [02:35]
• Caleb: "What are you doing all this for?" [73:32]
• Rachel: "What is it all for?" [73:32]
• Caleb: "I'm really out of the loop." [12:44]
• Rachel: "Keep it mushing." [05:49]
• Caleb: "Survive until 25." [11:34]

---

Conclusion

In "Rachel Pegram Vs. Landlords," So True with Caleb Hearon offers listeners a blend of heartfelt discussions, comedic insights, and relatable life experiences. Rachel and Caleb's dynamic interaction provides both humor and depth, making the episode engaging for existing fans and newcomers alike. From navigating tumultuous road trips to dissecting the intricacies of stand-up comedy and confronting personal challenges, the episode encapsulates the essence of authentic and thoughtful comedy.

---

For more insightful and entertaining episodes, subscribe to So True with Caleb Hearon on Headgum.

Transcript

[Rachel Pegram]

The teachers, like, they're not even necessarily full stand up comedians. They're just like very funny teachers. And I'm like, they're crushing and they're.

[Unknown Comedian]

Going around the country and it's not, it's not even full jokes.

[Rachel Pegram]

No.

[Unknown Comedian]

It's students. They're like. Students don't really turn in their homework dying.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes, yes, yes, yes. You know, you know when the kids don't sit in their seat, Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

Do you know, I was just thinking about this morning. What I was thinking about when we were in Texas together.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes.

[Unknown Comedian]

And we did shows together. And we were driving down the highway and at the same exact moment. Do you know what I'm about to say? Well, there were so many things when we drove down the highway.

[Rachel Pegram]

That's the thing. That's the thing. I was like, I don't know what.

[Unknown Comedian]

That's the thing about the highway. On that trip, we were driving down the highway and at the exact same moment we realized what the HOV lane meant. Do you remember that?

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes, yes, yes, yes. And I already forget. What?

[Unknown Comedian]

High occupancy vehicle.

[Rachel Pegram]

That's it. That's it.

[Unknown Comedian]

And I didn't know that it had a meaning.

[Rachel Pegram]

No, I didn't. I was just like hov.

[Unknown Comedian]

I thought like, I thought it was like the Vroom. Wayne. Yes.

[Rachel Pegram]

You gotta move over here.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

No, I did not know that it stood for something. I didn't know it was an acronym.

[Unknown Comedian]

We were driving through Texas. We were going from Houston to Dallas to do shows.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes.

[Unknown Comedian]

And we both at the same time went, there's a sign. We both at the same time went, huh? And I went, what was yours about? And you go, I just realized. And I go, I just realized.

[Rachel Pegram]

Although I had no idea.

[Unknown Comedian]

High occupancy vehicle.

[Rachel Pegram]

And I'm like, it's making sense. High occupancy broom vehicle.

[Unknown Comedian]

There's multiple people. That's why you get the special name.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

It all added up. And in that moment I was like, damn. To learn something so that a four year old knows with your other adult friend. In that moment.

[Rachel Pegram]

No.

[Unknown Comedian]

And then there was, of course. And then there was of course the part of the trip where we drove through a hurricane. Really?

[Rachel Pegram]

It was raining so hard and you were being so chill about it.

[Unknown Comedian]

I was being strong. I was being strong.

[Rachel Pegram]

You were being like, this ain't no thing. I'm cool with the rain. I don't mind.

[Unknown Comedian]

Guess what? I'm driving in my heart Fear. It was raining. Raining so hard. The other cars Are like, sliding off the highway. The rain is coming down so far we cannot see two feet in front of the windshield.

[Rachel Pegram]

No.

[Unknown Comedian]

And you were trying to play it cool, but you were not being a very good actor in the moment. Because you are a good actor. But in the moment you were like, yeah, I think we keep going.

[Rachel Pegram]

I was really. I think I was just going off of your energy, which felt so calm. And I was like, well, Kayla's chilling then, Rachel, you need to be chill. Then you need to calm down and just be along for the ride, and it's fine. But I was like, damn, we can skid off the road at any second. And there were a couple little, like, shakes. And I was like, we hydroplanes.

[Unknown Comedian]

We definitely hydroplane. And it was. A lot of. It was raining. It was thundering really loud. It was a big ass storm.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes.

[Unknown Comedian]

And the roads were starting in real time. We were watching the roads flood.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes.

[Unknown Comedian]

Like, they were like the oceans, the rivers were, like, rising next to us. And we were like, damn, that's happening presently.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes. Yeah. There was even that one moment when we were about to go through the water. Remember when we were driving and it was like, oh, we kind of weren't even really paying attention. And then out of nowhere, it was like the water was coming up over the wheels. I don't think we can go through that. Yeah. Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

And then other cars tried. I mean, it really. The moment I knew that we had to pull over, because we pulled over and went into some. Some little diner, which was kind of cute.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes.

[Unknown Comedian]

Think of us, free beignets.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes, they did. They were really trying to treat us.

[Unknown Comedian]

They liked us in there. Probably because I was soaking wet with rain.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah. They were confused because I think I was in a short. And they were like, girl, what'd you wear that for?

[Unknown Comedian]

And you were dry because you got dropped off at the door.

[Rachel Pegram]

No.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yes. Yes, you were dry. No.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah, I was a little wet.

[Unknown Comedian]

The moment I knew that we needed to pull over was when I said, do you want to drive? And you, within a millisecond, said. I was like, oh, this Rachel. Rachel's as scared as I am. We gotta go to the diner.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah. Yeah, we gotta go.

[Unknown Comedian]

And then we waited it out a.

[Rachel Pegram]

Little bit, and it was fine after that.

[Unknown Comedian]

Honestly, we timed it perfectly to where it was that thing where you would. Sometimes when you pull over in a storm, you're like, either we're gonna pull over and it's only gonna get worse and worse, and then we're gonna decide to continue going While it's worse or we're gonna pull over and somehow, by the miracle of God, it's gonna pass. And it passed, like, as we were, like. I think we were, like, licking our finger, just a little powdered chicken. What a breakfast. And then it literally. It literally was gone.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah. The sky's opened up.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Ready for us to go.

[Unknown Comedian]

That was a mostly good trip.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah, I mean, I was. Oh, okay. I was on my meteorology grind, though, because, you know, I can. I can kind of be in there.

[Unknown Comedian]

You weren't being very helpful, but.

[Rachel Pegram]

But I'm pretty good.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

I kind of got a little knack in there.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Well, the meteorology.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Kind of keep up with the weather.

[Unknown Comedian]

Did pull up a map.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah, but you got to pull up the Doppler. That's all I'm saying.

[Unknown Comedian]

You pulled up the Doppler, but what you were telling me was very unhelpful.

[Rachel Pegram]

Okay. Interesting.

[Unknown Comedian]

You were going. You were going. Yeah, it's purple over here.

[Rachel Pegram]

Well, that's helpful. How is that not helpful? It's darker over here. Over there. That's Meteorology School 101, baby.

[Unknown Comedian]

Weather. That's weather, man. Yeah, Weather Channel Weather.

[Rachel Pegram]

Weather. Masturist, by the way.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah, I was thinking of that because I was thinking about. I was thinking about our episode, thinking about how excited I was to see you because you kind of avoid me like the plague. You don't really. You only see me every. You see me two or three times a year.

[Rachel Pegram]

That's crazy.

[Unknown Comedian]

But I was thinking of Keep it Motion. Keep it motion was. Keep it motion was when we were. You and I were filming a TV show together in Portland, Oregon, United States of America. That did not say it with me. Go to Seattle.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah. No, it did not go.

[Unknown Comedian]

And we. We lived there for, like, what, six weeks or something?

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes.

[Unknown Comedian]

And we got pretty. We got pretty drunk one night.

[Rachel Pegram]

We did.

[Unknown Comedian]

We were out and we were out, and we were with Krista Rodriguez.

[Rachel Pegram]

Krista. And Ally.

[Unknown Comedian]

Ally Maki. And who has a baby now.

[Rachel Pegram]

I know.

[Unknown Comedian]

Shout out, Ali. Baby time.

[Rachel Pegram]

Baby. The little hands.

[Unknown Comedian]

Little tiny baby. Hold it like this if you want. If you hold it like this, put it in there. It would just sit there. I could. Hello. That's the baby in my hand. And you tried to say, keep it pushing, and you said, keep it mushing. And it actually has. I think of it every time I think of you.

[Rachel Pegram]

Keep it mushing.

[Unknown Comedian]

Keep it mushing.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah, Keep it mushing.

[Unknown Comedian]

Keep it mushing. Mush. Like the Iditarod.

[Rachel Pegram]

Exactly.

[Unknown Comedian]

Why not?

[Rachel Pegram]

It's pretty good.

[Unknown Comedian]

Think about it.

[Rachel Pegram]

Use it.

[Unknown Comedian]

Next question.

[Rachel Pegram]

Uh huh.

[Unknown Comedian]

Sure. What's going on with you?

[Rachel Pegram]

Well, not much. Me, I don't know. Me, I don't know.

[Unknown Comedian]

Come on.

[Rachel Pegram]

I'm just out here, I'm out here driving around, Getting around, Going around.

[Unknown Comedian]

Okay. I said, I said, what's going on with you? You said, well, I'm driving.

[Rachel Pegram]

Well, okay. You know what I mean? Ultimately, the thing that comes to mind. I got. I got sick yesterday.

[Unknown Comedian]

What?

[Rachel Pegram]

I had some kind of. I got food poisoning. Yes. Literally, I was out. I think it was. I got carne asada fries and I think the carne asada got my ass. Okay. I'm hearing some laughter.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Okay. Why are we, why are we laughing?

[Unknown Comedian]

Asada fries. They don't know that. But that is something you love.

[Rachel Pegram]

I feel love about a carne asada fry.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

And I shouldn't be scared of that?

[Unknown Comedian]

No.

[Rachel Pegram]

Well, why should I be scared of a car?

[Unknown Comedian]

Did you get it from a food truck?

[Rachel Pegram]

No, I got it from an establishment.

[Unknown Comedian]

A restaurant?

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah. Walk in. I like to order this.

[Unknown Comedian]

Branding on the front.

[Rachel Pegram]

They got branding on the front, branding on the back, branding on the side.

[Unknown Comedian]

Branding on the top.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah, they got branding all around.

[Unknown Comedian]

I checked it out.

[Rachel Pegram]

Air rights, counter serve.

[Unknown Comedian]

Wow.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

I don't know.

[Rachel Pegram]

It's pretty good though.

[Unknown Comedian]

Sometimes, Sometimes the street. I was thinking it was a street truck and you know, the street tacos in LA are amazing.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes.

[Unknown Comedian]

But sometimes you take a look at the pork and the temperature of the day and how long it's been sitting there and you go, I'm not sure about it.

[Rachel Pegram]

Sure.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

And I wouldn't do a pork.

[Unknown Comedian]

Right.

[Rachel Pegram]

This was a beef.

[Unknown Comedian]

Sure.

[Rachel Pegram]

Come on.

[Unknown Comedian]

All meat is subject to temperatures.

[Rachel Pegram]

Interesting. But. But the beef should be. Okay, cooler, huh? Shouldn't it?

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Because the inside sometimes.

[Unknown Comedian]

You know what I'm talking about? Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

You know, when it's a little rare.

[Unknown Comedian]

Of course I know what you're talking about.

[Rachel Pegram]

You know what I'm saying?

[Unknown Comedian]

You think you're going to come in here and I'm not going to know what you're talking about?

[Rachel Pegram]

A little rare when it comes to beef. Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

Now I want to tell you something that I've been a kind of. I've been spiritually connected to you in that way because I came back from Europe and for a week, I'm telling you, nine days after I got back, and this isn't going to be fun for anyone to hear.

[Rachel Pegram]

No, that's okay.

[Unknown Comedian]

I had weapons grade diarrhea.

[Rachel Pegram]

Damn.

[Unknown Comedian]

And Heartburn. And my. Just on day 10 yesterday, my poop turned back to a normal color.

[Rachel Pegram]

Oh no.

[Unknown Comedian]

My poop was so dark that I was googling dark poop cancer. What? Yeah, it was so weird. And I'm like, oh, it's just. I'm literally back in the United States where the food is.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah, it's running through you.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah, well, the food is really bad for you here. And my body is actually used to that. So now my body's getting back.

[Rachel Pegram]

Used to getting back into the game.

[Unknown Comedian]

My body's like, yes, carcinogens.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put the, put the microplastics in there.

[Unknown Comedian]

Put the microplastics in the nutsack. Yeah, that's where it goes.

[Rachel Pegram]

Put them right in the bowl.

[Unknown Comedian]

That's where it goes in the bowls. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

And that's how they. And that's how they spread.

[Unknown Comedian]

That's how they spread. You know, I'm giving, I'm giving somebody's son microplastics.

[Rachel Pegram]

Exactly.

[Unknown Comedian]

Every once in a while.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah. Get it, get, get it wherever it gets.

[Unknown Comedian]

Because you know, I'm not using protection. You know what? No, I am, but.

[Rachel Pegram]

Oh, okay.

[Unknown Comedian]

Someone asked me to wear a condom to get a job recently.

[Rachel Pegram]

No, they didn't.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yes.

[Rachel Pegram]

Is it 1982?

[Unknown Comedian]

And I was like, what kind of horish man are you fucking around with?

[Rachel Pegram]

Oh, I see. I thought that was more of a like, you know, I'm so, you know, like so safe.

[Unknown Comedian]

That's what I'm saying. But you to, to want someone to wear a condom for a job.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

You've had to have some pretty disturbing dicks in your mouth.

[Rachel Pegram]

I think it's either disturbing or extreme, like Christianity or something. You know what I mean?

[Unknown Comedian]

Okay. It's Christian head.

[Rachel Pegram]

I feel like. Yeah. Cuz that's something I would hear back in the day. Girls were like, yeah, you need to put, you need to put a condom on before I put that in my mouth.

[Unknown Comedian]

Really?

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

That was a Christian thing.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

Cuz they didn't want the skin in their mouth.

[Rachel Pegram]

Well, the. Whatever, you know, it's kind of a barrier. It's like, is it even real? Does it even count?

[Unknown Comedian]

Oh, it's real.

[Rachel Pegram]

Well, well, for the girls it was, it was, it was a.

[Unknown Comedian]

Would you wear a condom for the job?

[Rachel Pegram]

I mean, I wouldn't do it now.

[Unknown Comedian]

I said no, keep that off. I said, I'd rather not get job than wear a condom for the job. No, I don't need a job that bad. No, they're not that hard to come by. As a gay fella. No, there's a gay fella. You can get a whole job pretty much anywhere.

[Rachel Pegram]

Hey, talk about it any old time. Say about it.

[Unknown Comedian]

There's someone, you dick. Any old time. Hey, you know how gay guys are.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah. You whip it out. Someone. Someone's getting down.

[Unknown Comedian]

You don't even really have to take it out.

[Rachel Pegram]

No.

[Unknown Comedian]

I'll come over and get it out for you.

[Rachel Pegram]

They're getting on their knees.

[Unknown Comedian]

It's nice. I love the way gay guys are.

[Rachel Pegram]

They're putting it in their mouth, and that's beautiful.

[Unknown Comedian]

For sure. I love when that happens. But you asked me to put a condom on for it, and I say bye.

[Rachel Pegram]

Get away from me.

[Unknown Comedian]

Why?

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

For what?

[Rachel Pegram]

Stand back.

[Unknown Comedian]

Stand back.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

And stand by, Proud boys.

[Rachel Pegram]

Right?

[Unknown Comedian]

I'm calling in the proud boys.

[Rachel Pegram]

You're calling in the proud boys?

[Unknown Comedian]

Calling in the proud boys.

[Rachel Pegram]

What are they doing?

[Unknown Comedian]

You better give me condomless head or else. I'm calling in the proud boys.

[Rachel Pegram]

Oh, and they're gonna what?

[Unknown Comedian]

Well, domestic terrorism is kind of their thing. I don't know how. What they're gonna do in this situation.

[Rachel Pegram]

To the other person.

[Unknown Comedian]

A lot of those guys are gay.

[Rachel Pegram]

The proud boys.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

Matching uniforms, little events, for sure.

[Rachel Pegram]

They like to hang out together, you know, build community. Exactly.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. They're hanging out.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

Do you remember, like, a year ago when they showed up at, like, a. A Utah pride event? Like 20 of them matching uniforms in the back of a van together?

[Rachel Pegram]

No.

[Unknown Comedian]

They, like, came out of a moving truck. They were all in there. I was like, that's the literal. Most I've ever. Like, that's homo behavior. Absolutely to a T. And they were wearing masks where only their mouths were showing. Hello. Y'all are doing glory holes.

[Rachel Pegram]

Oh, wow. No, that's so true.

[Unknown Comedian]

But you're right wing.

[Rachel Pegram]

What's that?

[Unknown Comedian]

What's up?

[Rachel Pegram]

Huh?

[Unknown Comedian]

You vote for Republicans? Yes.

[Rachel Pegram]

Totally.

[Unknown Comedian]

Nice.

[Rachel Pegram]

Sorry. Yes.

[Unknown Comedian]

I love that. Sorry.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes, sir. I'm clocking into the neighbor of the Army.

[Unknown Comedian]

The Navy. Of the army.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah. And the Air Force all at once. Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I knew that about you. Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

You know I got that big bush tattoo on my back.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. And I thought it was the band at first.

[Rachel Pegram]

No, it's. It's Daddy and Senior.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Wait. And Junior.

[Unknown Comedian]

No worries.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah. Hold on. Wait. Actually, it's just. Yeah. It's just both Daddy, both Senior.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah, no worries.

[Rachel Pegram]

You know, I love. I love the OGs.

[Unknown Comedian]

What is really going on with you?

[Rachel Pegram]

What is going on?

[Unknown Comedian]

What's up in your Life. You're doing stand up.

[Rachel Pegram]

I'm doing stand up these days. Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

We work in a bad industry.

[Rachel Pegram]

It's rough. Currently. Currently. Strange.

[Unknown Comedian]

You know, things are weird when everyone in your industry has a catchphrase for how bad it's going. And right now, survive until 25 is bad. You hear him?

[Rachel Pegram]

That I've been.

[Unknown Comedian]

That's. Someone said that to me. That I said, don't say that to me.

[Rachel Pegram]

That's. I was like, who? This is the meanest thing that anyone's ever said to me. Survive until 25. Who has the time?

[Unknown Comedian]

I'm barely surviving the patience, let alone until 25. No, it doesn't make sense to me.

[Rachel Pegram]

No, I'm honestly, every now and then I do think about, what if I just move home for a little bit? Nice.

[Unknown Comedian]

Texas should be so lucky.

[Rachel Pegram]

You know, just like a little cute stint.

[Unknown Comedian]

Go back to. Well, I know that you're from the Dallas area, but I really, in this moment wanted to call back. I wanted to remember the spec. You're from Denton. Yes, that's the truth.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah, that's it.

[Unknown Comedian]

Texas.

[Rachel Pegram]

You gotta come sometime.

[Unknown Comedian]

Hey, I would love to be down there.

[Rachel Pegram]

It's pretty nice.

[Unknown Comedian]

I got to meet some of your friends after our Dallas show. I love your friends.

[Rachel Pegram]

They're really sweet.

[Unknown Comedian]

They're lovely. Yeah, you have some really sweet friends.

[Rachel Pegram]

Thank you so much.

[Unknown Comedian]

They came to our Dallas show and then we all hung out for a second afterwards.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes.

[Unknown Comedian]

And then I think they came to LA and I missed them.

[Rachel Pegram]

They did. They were in la. But we were running around. Yeah, we were running around. I was taking them all across town. My. Well, my boyfriend is Fellow. He's. He was driving us.

[Unknown Comedian]

Hold on.

[Rachel Pegram]

Being a What's. What? Yes.

[Unknown Comedian]

What'd you just say?

[Rachel Pegram]

What'd you say?

[Unknown Comedian]

You're who now?

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah, I got a. Yeah, you got a boyfriend? Well, you know. Oh, wow.

[Unknown Comedian]

I'm really out of the loop.

[Rachel Pegram]

Well, yeah, I'm kind of. Yeah, I'm kind of seeing him.

[Unknown Comedian]

Okay.

[Rachel Pegram]

Well, I mean, I am seeing him. I don't know why I'm saying kind of. Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

What's his deal?

[Rachel Pegram]

What's his deal? He's, you know, he's out there doing stuff.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. Do I know him?

[Rachel Pegram]

No, he's not. He's not in comedy.

[Unknown Comedian]

Good.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah, good job.

[Unknown Comedian]

Good.

[Rachel Pegram]

He's a professor.

[Unknown Comedian]

Professor.

[Rachel Pegram]

Okay.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. Yo, you talked to me about this guy.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

Well, yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Still seeing him.

[Unknown Comedian]

He's a professor. Well, you told me. I don't think it was boyfriend when we talked.

[Rachel Pegram]

No, no. No, no, no. That was a while ago.

[Unknown Comedian]

Y'all close. Y doing a closed down situation.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah, we're locking it.

[Unknown Comedian]

Monogamy.

[Rachel Pegram]

Oh, yeah, we're. We're kind of doing that.

[Unknown Comedian]

You're doing monogamy?

[Rachel Pegram]

That's. That's what's happening currently. Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

Wow.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

That can be so scary. It.

[Rachel Pegram]

It can be. It can be, but it's feeling good.

[Unknown Comedian]

So you're liking the monogamy?

[Rachel Pegram]

I'm liking the monogamy currently. Although I have talked. I'm like. I don't know if she's like, but I have talked. We have talked about how. I was like, yeah, you know, I don't know how it came up. We're talking about sister wives.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

And just, Just, Just the idea.

[Unknown Comedian]

Well, it kind of matters how it came up.

[Rachel Pegram]

Well, I don't know, but it doesn't matter. All right. But it came up dinner.

[Unknown Comedian]

And he's like, have you ever heard of this, this concept?

[Rachel Pegram]

He's like, what if there were a couple more of you? And I'm like, say more. No, he. He was. We were just talking about it, and I was like, oh, no, I don't know that I could be, you know, one of many, obviously, of the girls. But I was like, I don't know, it might be nice to have a husband and a wife. And then I was like, might be nice to have a boyfriend and a girlfriend. And then he was like, yes. Are you saying that you would want. You would want to have another? And I was like, well, maybe, you know, for a little bit or something. You know, I just think it would be nice to have a girlfriend too.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. Because you're a little lesbian.

[Rachel Pegram]

People are calling it bisexual, but, yeah, we can say that.

[Unknown Comedian]

I have my own. I have my own praise for it.

[Rachel Pegram]

You're a little lesbian. You're a little lesbian.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. Bisexual, right? What does that mean? What do you mean, bisexuality?

[Rachel Pegram]

What is bisexuality mean?

[Unknown Comedian]

You really are just 50. 50 with it.

[Rachel Pegram]

For me.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. Personally, Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

I feel that. Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

Your percentage is straight. 50, 50.

[Rachel Pegram]

I. Well, you know what I think the men are not like. I don't know how to like. It's not. It's not like I'm not going like, I don't want anyone to. You know what I'm trying to say on the men?

[Unknown Comedian]

Because unless you're watching, you can't see that Rachel just said, I don't want anyone. And then she pulled back as if to strike or be stricken.

[Rachel Pegram]

I don't want me in those tough Boys. I don't want anyone who's winding back, you know, I don't want anyone. I don't want anyone too big, you know, I don't want anyone like this, you know?

[Unknown Comedian]

You don't want a man who's gonna pull back on you.

[Rachel Pegram]

No, I don't want that.

[Unknown Comedian]

I also hate domestic violence. Yeah, you'll find a. You'll find an ally in me on that every single time.

[Rachel Pegram]

But you know what I was saying, I don't just. I just. I can't be having too much of that. I like someone who's a little. Like, how you think, you know, what's up with the, you know, like, look, you know, like, I kind of like that. It's something that feels a little softer.

[Unknown Comedian]

You like a soft boy?

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes. Yes. Yes.

[Unknown Comedian]

Is your guy bisexual?

[Rachel Pegram]

No.

[Unknown Comedian]

Right?

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

Does he. Is he.

[Rachel Pegram]

What's that?

[Unknown Comedian]

Is he violent?

[Rachel Pegram]

He's not winding it back. No.

[Unknown Comedian]

I hate when that happens.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah. He's not hitting me.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Oh, he's going to love this.

[Unknown Comedian]

No, we'll check it. Skin off camera, for sure. When the mics and the cameras and the lights go off, you and I will be having a conversation in the parking lot. I'll be like. I'll be like, hey, fun episode.

[Rachel Pegram]

There was that one part when you were sort of. No, no, no, no. He's really. He's really sweet. Really cool. Of course. Yeah. Yeah. We went on a trip this summer. We went to Mexico. That was nice.

[Unknown Comedian]

I do remember that. Yeah, I do remember that about you.

[Rachel Pegram]

I've been out and about.

[Unknown Comedian]

Where'd you go to Mexico?

[Rachel Pegram]

It's the Yucatan Peninsula.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yes, of course.

[Rachel Pegram]

Where else is there?

[Unknown Comedian]

The. The yp.

[Rachel Pegram]

So, you know, hitting Cancun. Yeah, a little. A town called Merida.

[Unknown Comedian]

You speak Spanish?

[Rachel Pegram]

No, no, not much.

[Unknown Comedian]

Texas people.

[Rachel Pegram]

I know enough.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

If I was real, if I was stuck, like, say, if I was kidnapped.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

I think I could hear some keywords and be okay.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. You would know when they say, we're gonna kill her.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah. Yeah. They were like, you know, like, we're going to the left or the right or whatever we got. We're in. We're in the house.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. If they say. If they say, I want a coffee with milk, I'm going to be really. I'm going to be really locked in, tuned in. If they say, hello, my name is. How are you? I'm going to be exactly right there with them.

[Rachel Pegram]

I was like, oh, okay. Write that down. Mentally.

[Unknown Comedian]

If they say, merry Christmas, I know exactly what they're talking about.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah. Or completely on by the way.

[Unknown Comedian]

No worries.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

That's.

[C]

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[Unknown Comedian]

This episode is brought to you by Huggy's Little Movers. Huggies knows that babies come in all shapes and sizes and their tushies do too. Huggies has more curves and outstanding active fit. Parents know that there's nothing worse than an ill fitting diaper, especially for active wiggly babies. Huggies little movers are curved to fit all curves so babies feel comfy no matter how much they're moving around. And we all know they're moving around a lot. They also offer 12 hour protection against leaks, which is a game changer. Get your baby's butt into the best fitting diaper. Huggies little movers. We got you, baby. Sweet. Well, what do you. What do you. Okay, so you're doing stand up.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

Did you put out the audio album?

[Rachel Pegram]

I haven't yet.

[Unknown Comedian]

That's what I thought.

[Rachel Pegram]

It's coming I think September though, so it should be pretty soon. End of September.

[Unknown Comedian]

September. This episode will be out by then.

[Rachel Pegram]

Oh, so people can go get the.

[Unknown Comedian]

Album to your audio album.

[Rachel Pegram]

Wow, that would be exciting.

[Unknown Comedian]

Who's putting it out?

[Rachel Pegram]

A Special Thing Records.

[Unknown Comedian]

A Special Thing Records. And it's. You'll post it about it all over your social media.

[Rachel Pegram]

Of course.

[Unknown Comedian]

What? It's a half hour stand up comedy.

[Rachel Pegram]

It's. It's actually about 45 minutes. No one's doing it like that.

[Unknown Comedian]

It's a 45 minutes of stand up comedy.

[Rachel Pegram]

No one's doing. Not an hour.

[Unknown Comedian]

Everybody said the options are half an hour. An hour you said. Think again.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah, I said I'm not a girl. Not yet a woman, you know.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah, that kind of thing. Not a girl don't get me started. What's it about?

[Rachel Pegram]

It's kind of hitting. It's pretty silly up top. Pretty. Pretty goofy silly. A lot of little. Little fun little jokes and then it kind of lands in a bit like some, like, stuff around sex and identity from growing up, so.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

Hell, yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

Is it. Is it any of the. Because I saw your. Your very funny solo show.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

Titty Meat. Yes was the name of it. Is it any stuff from that or is it.

[Rachel Pegram]

It's like a little bit of stuff from that, but. Excuse me. Not a ton.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. You're a very funny comedian. Oh, my God, I'm a huge fan of yours.

[Rachel Pegram]

Oh, my God, that's so sweet.

[Unknown Comedian]

I literally think the world of you. You know this.

[Rachel Pegram]

I do. But thank you.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. It's nice to hear it though, huh? Yeah, no, I do. I think. I think you're a genius. And in fact, know you are. I've seen you be one many times. But you started out in. We grew up in Texas. Grew up in Denton, Texas. Thank you for your service.

[Rachel Pegram]

Thank you so much.

[Unknown Comedian]

And then you went to nyu.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

As all of our great creators do.

[Rachel Pegram]

And we all have to tap in.

[Unknown Comedian]

All of our great artists. It's true. For a little bit.

[Rachel Pegram]

No. It's nice to see the graduating class of multiple years being so successful out and abroad.

[Unknown Comedian]

I love to see the alumni. It's good wearing that purple.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Unknown Comedian]

With pride.

[Rachel Pegram]

You're sort of being like, okay, 14, 13, 10, 11, you know?

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. Person I had a weird interaction with on the train after class, but. Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

And I'm like, look at you.

[Unknown Comedian]

Thriving person I slept with and regretted it.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Whoa. And we went somewhere, and we went somewhere for a moment. And you. What did you study at miu?

[Rachel Pegram]

Musical theater.

[Unknown Comedian]

Musical theater.

[Rachel Pegram]

Technically. Theater. Theater. But I. I was in school for musical theater my first two years.

[Unknown Comedian]

What's your favorite musical?

[Rachel Pegram]

What is my favorite musical? Company.

[Unknown Comedian]

What's your favorite song from Company?

[Rachel Pegram]

Being Alive.

[Unknown Comedian]

What does that sound like?

[Rachel Pegram]

You know, like, I'm not gonna hit it. Right. But, you know, it's like being alive.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Somebody. No, I can't do it. But I can sing.

[Unknown Comedian]

You absolutely can.

[Rachel Pegram]

I can certainly sing.

[Unknown Comedian]

Well, one of my favorite bits of yours, and it's an older one, and it's. You've had so, so, so many funny jokes since then. Sometimes when people come up, compliment an old bit of mine, I get annoyed because I'm like, what, did you just, like, clock out after I had a hit, you know? What? I mean, what do you know? One good joke of mine? That's the only thing you have to compliment. You have had many funny jokes since then, but you had a very memorable song that you did. Well, I think the first time I saw it, I saw a video of you doing it at union hall, maybe, but it was the song about, like, where you're talking about violence against women. And you were like, you can't trust your boyfriend. You can't trust your boyfriend. And it's about, like, women having to like, carry their keys in their hand. And how did you. Was that just from reading the news that you came up with that?

[Rachel Pegram]

I. It came up out of a bit with an ex boyfriend that I would make a joke about saying, like, don't kill me.

[Unknown Comedian]

A lot of women make that joke just to test the waters I found.

[Rachel Pegram]

And I was just sort of like, like, you could kill me if you wanted to. And he's like, I'm not gonna kill you. And I was like, but you could.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

So, yeah. And he was like, but I won't do it. And I was like, but you might. And I would do it a lot. And then I think he actually got frustrated by it.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah, it's a pretty unsavory vi.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah, I understand. But it is just like, you could, though. I. I made the same joke with this current person seeing, but like, where I'm like, oh, you could kill me. But I kind of feel like anybody could kill. You know, I would. I wouldn't just be willy nilly with women either. I'm like, you could kill me too.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Like, you know, I might fight back, but like, I don't know. I don't know what you're doing.

[Unknown Comedian]

You could totally get killed at any moment.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah. I don't know what you're doing from nine to five. I do think about that. That I could get killed at any, any time.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Is that what anyone else thinks about?

[Unknown Comedian]

I will say I'm not thinking about it.

[Rachel Pegram]

Okay. Sometimes I do just be walking down the street and maybe this is. I don't know what this is bringing to light. But sometimes I do just be like, yeah, someone could shoot me right now in the head. I could fall down and I would die and this would be it.

[Unknown Comedian]

People don't really like my perspective on death. People get kind of upset when I talk about my perspective on death because my perspective on death is like, I'm having a good time being alive. I'm liking it. I would like to do it for longer. Yeah, no worries. If not. Like, I. Like, anytime I think about death, I go. It would solve a lot of problems. You know what I mean?

[Rachel Pegram]

Interesting.

[Unknown Comedian]

Like, I'm not. I'm not. I'm. Trust me, I have been in the past. I was. When I was younger, I was very depressed. I am not itching to die. I like being alive. I have a lot of plans for my future. I like my life. I've got a really good one. It's been a nice time, especially recently. Things are going well.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

If someone killed me, if the plane went down, if the car crash was at the wrong, exact wrong angle.

[Rachel Pegram]

No.

[Unknown Comedian]

Guess what? All those phone calls I've been avoiding, all those emails I haven't responded to, they pretty much go right away, don't they? You know what I mean? You never. You never think like that.

[Rachel Pegram]

I do. I do. Honestly, though, yeah. Yeah. It's not. It's like. But I also. At the same time, I'm like, but I got to do something. I got to keep living.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. You know, truly, this. This perspective is what brought me out of depression.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

Where I'm just. Well, two things brought me out of depression. Number one, I lie to myself constantly. Anything negative I tell, I gaslight myself. I say, that's not true. True. That's a classic. I'm telling you listeners, I've said it before, y'all. If you're depressed, lie to yourself. All your problems are fake. Nothing is real.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

Lie to yourself. Put yourself in debt. Do whatever you need to do to be happy. It'll all come out in the wash. That's number one.

[Rachel Pegram]

Hold on. Go ahead.

[Unknown Comedian]

You have a question?

[Rachel Pegram]

Put yourself in debt.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah, they're just numbers on his computer screen.

[Rachel Pegram]

Well, I mean.

[Unknown Comedian]

Run it up.

[Rachel Pegram]

Okay.

[Unknown Comedian]

Run it up.

[Rachel Pegram]

I don't know. I don't know about that one.

[Unknown Comedian]

Run it up. Y'all have some fun.

[Rachel Pegram]

That's okay. I agree with the rest of it. I absolutely do.

[Unknown Comedian]

If your bank account. If you've got $17 in your bank account, right? And you're like, oh, rent's due next week. I don't have any money for rent. I don't know what I'm gonna do. And your friend calls you and says, hey, I want to go to dinner tonight. This really fancy seafood restaurant. You should come. It's probably, like, gonna be like, three, four hundred dollars a person. Let's go. Your instinct that, like, the devil. When the devil works in your brain, the devil's gonna say, come on, preacher, you can't go to that. You've only got $17 in your bank account. You don't know how you're gonna make rent, right? That's what the devil says.

[Rachel Pegram]

Testify.

[Unknown Comedian]

But when you enter God and you're living in godliness and you're existing in the infinite love of God, you say, I'll be there.

[Rachel Pegram]

Hey.

[Unknown Comedian]

And you overdraft that bank account.

[Rachel Pegram]

Come on.

[Unknown Comedian]

And then you stiff your landlord. And then you just.

[Rachel Pegram]

Come on.

[Unknown Comedian]

You just live, man.

[Rachel Pegram]

All right?

[Unknown Comedian]

And then if you get evicted, guess what? First of all, squatters rights, the system's designed to protect you a little bit. Stay as long as you need. Figure it out. They shut off the lights, you get a candle. You just focus up on how to make things work. And then maybe eventually you have to go back and get a job or you start stealing, or someone you love that's close to you dies, and there's an inheritance of some sort. Everything will work out. So that's number one of my mental health. And then.

[Rachel Pegram]

Right?

[Unknown Comedian]

And then number two of my mental health is that I go, hey, I love being alive, even though it is mostly a nightmare. Like, things are going really bad. The news is not good. You read the news and you go, that's pretty much all bad. Hey, yeah, so that's bad. We hate that. And then also, everything is so much. There's always a million tasks. Then my tooth hurts, and then your tooth hurts, and you're like, God, I have to go. I have to go to the dentist. And now I have to do that to make my tooth not hurt just so I can continue living. Horrible, right? But then you go, someday this is all gonna. You go, if I were to die, these things would all be erased. And that's okay. And it makes me really happy.

[Rachel Pegram]

I feel, honestly, if it works for you, then it works for you.

[Unknown Comedian]

I think you should do it, too, though, okay? You should adopt this. You should adopt this mindset, and so should all the listeners. It's not enough for it to work for me.

[Rachel Pegram]

I do. Okay. I do feel. Now, look, I was listening to a documentary. I was watching a document just last night about James Baldwin. And I do feel, honestly, this is a similar mindset that he presented in the documentary, although he was obviously very much specifically talking about black folks.

[Unknown Comedian]

He was much more articulate than you.

[Rachel Pegram]

He was. He was. Yeah. I don't know. No, no. But it was. It was like, you know, because you know that you could potentially die at any moment, especially, you know, whatever. You could just die any time that it gives you a relative bit of freedom that it's like, oh, this could happen. And you could go, so why not be a little more free with. Because, yeah, we live in an absolutely terrifying country where, like, yeah, you could just. You could just be doing anything. You just be going to the store and it's like, oh, there's a shooter. And now, now we're all dead.

[Unknown Comedian]

Now we're all done.

[Rachel Pegram]

Now we're all dead at the target. Like, that's crazy. You know, now we're in dead, exclamation.

[Unknown Comedian]

Point at the target.

[Rachel Pegram]

Now, come on. That's good. That's good. Take it to Broadway. But you know what I mean? So I'm just like, yeah, you could be dead. Might as well just, like, try stuff, do things.

[Unknown Comedian]

I really do think if I were to earnestly sit down. Obviously, I've been kidding around the last couple minutes. If I were to earnestly sit down. No, If I were to earnestly sit down and talk about the fact that you can't not live because you fear death. But I also. What I tried to do for a long time was just not fear death. I tried to go, okay, the problem that is inhibiting me is that I fear death. That is the reality. So I'm going to try not to fear death. And that didn't work. I could not get rid of my fear of death. It's a normal human condition to be like, oh, no. Oh, I was born with autonomy and, like, knowledge. I'm sentient. Whoops. And so now I know I'm conscious of my own mortality. That's the curse of being human. Can't get rid of that. Someone else did that to me. The universe. God, I don't know. Someone gave that to me. It's a curse. Okay, so then you go, if I can't not be afraid of death, all I can do is kind of embrace that. It's gonna come.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

Actually, if you read, like. If you read genuine books about, like, fear of death and how to overcome it and things, this is what they tell you.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

Is they go, just make peace with it.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes.

[Unknown Comedian]

Because I've got friends who go, I don't go to the movies. I'm afraid I'll get shot. And I go. I go to the movies knowing I might get shot.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

I go, if I die at the movies, I die at the movies.

[Rachel Pegram]

Right. I died doing something that I really liked.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Just going to the movies.

[Unknown Comedian]

And it's like, yeah. If you. If for sure. If you said, hey, there's going to be a gunman at this movie. If you Go tonight. I would skip that.

[Rachel Pegram]

We're not going to go, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

But that's not how it works.

[Rachel Pegram]

No, exactly. I feel this way about getting ready to go on a trip, like on flights, because I can get a little scared on a plane. And so I truly, like. As we're taking up, I'll just, in my head be like, I've lived an incredible life.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

I love everything that I've ever done. I list all the people in my head that I love. I think of everything that I've done that I like about my life. And I was. And if I were to die right now, sure, there are things that I could have done more. But I think I lived a good life.

[Unknown Comedian]

But also, that's really the only difference between. Because plane anxiety used to be a huge thing for me, which. The amount I fly just was not sustainable. And the big thing that I realized was I was like, oh, when you think about dying, you're fixating on all the things you haven't done. And that's what's causing this psycho, turbulent, crazy reaction in your body that's making you so scared and fearful. All it is is a perspective shift to be like, think about all the things you have done.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes.

[Unknown Comedian]

And then all of a sudden, it doesn't feel so bad.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

It's like, you lived a great life. You got very lucky. You did a lot of things in that. In that time.

[Rachel Pegram]

It's true.

[Unknown Comedian]

Hell, yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

And I'd like to do more.

[Rachel Pegram]

Right.

[Unknown Comedian]

I got my eye on a couple things I'd like to do.

[Rachel Pegram]

Would be incredible if this plane didn't crash.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. Because next summer I'd like to be on a jet ski somewhere. I've got that in my mind. I'm picking that up.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes.

[Unknown Comedian]

I'm playing it next summer. Where am I gonna be on a jet ski for a week or two. Oh, I'm thinking about that.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes.

[Unknown Comedian]

So I've got things to look forward to.

[Rachel Pegram]

So it's like, you wanna. You wanna land?

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

But if the plane. If the plane starts to nosedive.

[Rachel Pegram]

Right.

[Unknown Comedian]

I'm not gonna be like, jet skiing's off for next summer. You're saying I'm gonna be like, damn, good thing I had a nice lunch before we got up here.

[Rachel Pegram]

Exactly, exactly. Exactly.

[Unknown Comedian]

You know what I mean?

[Rachel Pegram]

Good thing you sat down.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Had a nice lunch. You didn't run. You didn't run through. You know, pick up a water burger. I'm thinking about Dallas airport.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. You know Dallas Love Field.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

Why not?

[Rachel Pegram]

I love a water burger.

[Unknown Comedian]

I know you do.

[Rachel Pegram]

That's pretty nice. This isn't a plug for them. Him. But, you know.

[Unknown Comedian]

But thank you, Patrick Mahomes, for bringing it to Kansas City.

[Rachel Pegram]

Oh, really?

[Unknown Comedian]

He brought whataburger to Kansas City? There was none. And then he signed to the Chiefs, and he said, let me tell you something about your city.

[Rachel Pegram]

Dang.

[Unknown Comedian]

It's gonna have a whataburger.

[Rachel Pegram]

Y'all gonna have a whataburger.

[Unknown Comedian]

And we do.

[Rachel Pegram]

Oh, my God.

[Unknown Comedian]

Not bad.

[Rachel Pegram]

That's nice.

[Unknown Comedian]

You refuse to visit me.

[Rachel Pegram]

That's not true. You know what's crazy? I've never been invited. I don't think.

[Unknown Comedian]

Oh, don't.

[Rachel Pegram]

I don't think think so.

[Unknown Comedian]

Look into your camera and tell them.

[Rachel Pegram]

I don't think I've ever been invited.

[Unknown Comedian]

You tell my family, I don't think.

[Rachel Pegram]

I've ever been invited.

[Unknown Comedian]

You're invited.

[Rachel Pegram]

I've never been invited.

[Unknown Comedian]

Oh, this is sick. No, you're a twisted individual.

[Rachel Pegram]

How do I get. How do I get there?

[Unknown Comedian]

What?

[Rachel Pegram]

I got a wall.

[Unknown Comedian]

You're not allowed to fly to Kansas City. That's. You can't fly.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah. It's really crazy.

[Unknown Comedian]

I'm like, you can come visit, but you have to walk.

[Rachel Pegram]

Damn.

[Unknown Comedian]

They want what you want a plane?

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah. I got a gump it.

[Unknown Comedian]

Gump.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

Not forest. That is so sick to try and pass that off as a. As a Turner phrase. Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

People say that.

[Unknown Comedian]

I got a gump in.

[Rachel Pegram]

You got a gump it. You gumping Sometimes you got to gump it. Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

Hey, if I tell you I'm gumping it, just know I'm running across the country.

[Rachel Pegram]

Exactly.

[Unknown Comedian]

Or having a kid with someone who has aids. That was another big thing he did. That was another big thing he did that movie.

[Rachel Pegram]

So fucking long.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

And it really feels like it shouldn't have been made.

[Unknown Comedian]

Well, they had to do so much.

[Rachel Pegram]

History, you know, they're supposed to do a second one.

[Unknown Comedian]

What?

[Rachel Pegram]

You've heard about the second one? No.

[Unknown Comedian]

What were they gonna do?

[Rachel Pegram]

It was gonna include 9 11.

[Unknown Comedian]

The squeak will.

[Rachel Pegram]

I'm not kidding.

[Unknown Comedian]

No, not.

[Rachel Pegram]

You can look it up. Yes.

[Unknown Comedian]

Not Gump.

[Rachel Pegram]

911 is gonna be about how I think he stopped it or tried to. It's really crazy.

[Unknown Comedian]

Not Gump goes to the north Tower. Not that.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes. And then it got stopped.

[Unknown Comedian]

So imagine him trying to process 9 11.

[Rachel Pegram]

I. We don't like. Oh, the story we never needed. Yeah. You hear about stuff like that, and you're like, maybe Hollywood should fail a little. You Know a little.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah, it's not bad.

[Rachel Pegram]

We don't need it to fail so much.

[Unknown Comedian]

But comp too goes to 9 11.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

That's nuts.

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[Unknown Comedian]

Who would you want to play you in a movie?

[Rachel Pegram]

Ooh, ooh, ooh. Who would I wanna play me in a movie?

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Maybe this is this. I'm just tossing somebody out. This might not even be correct. Kerry Washington.

[Unknown Comedian]

Kerry Washington would be a lot of fun. She's considerably older than you.

[Rachel Pegram]

Well. Right.

[Unknown Comedian]

Which is no worries. She's a beautiful and an incredible actor.

[Rachel Pegram]

No, you're absolutely right. Yeah, that's true. I didn't think about it like that. I was thinking about it like. So it would be later.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

In my life. But then she's only gonna get older.

[Unknown Comedian]

So she'll continue to age at the same rate that you age.

[Rachel Pegram]

So it actually doesn't make any sense.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Huh.

[Unknown Comedian]

I'm trying to think Dewanda Wise. Do you know her?

[Rachel Pegram]

I don't think so.

[Unknown Comedian]

She's really talented.

[Rachel Pegram]

Where was she from?

[Unknown Comedian]

She. She's done a couple things. I'm thinking of Jurassic. I met her. She was. She was in Jurassic. She played a. I believe a fighter pilot. But she's a really good actor. So she would. She would do you really well. She could do all the big dramatic Rachel moments. Oh, Kerry Washington. I like.

[Rachel Pegram]

No, no, no. Let me think about it. Let me think about it. Let me think about.

[Unknown Comedian]

Let me run it through my.

[Rachel Pegram]

And it's actually only older black actresses that keep coming to mind.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Such as Viola Davis.

[Unknown Comedian]

God.

[Rachel Pegram]

Which is incredible. But again, it's kind of the same issue.

[Unknown Comedian]

I just hope you don't pick her because I was gonna pick her for me.

[Rachel Pegram]

Wow.

[Unknown Comedian]

That would actually be a lot of fun.

[Rachel Pegram]

Wow.

[Unknown Comedian]

Do a biopic about me and then have Viola play it. Come on. Come on.

[Rachel Pegram]

Wait. Yeah, that's good. Maybe I have Emma Stone.

[Unknown Comedian]

That would be huge.

[Rachel Pegram]

Margot Robbie.

[Unknown Comedian]

Ooh, ooh. Her doing Zip Zaps Op in a basement near nyu.

[Rachel Pegram]

Let Margot do blackface one time.

[Unknown Comedian]

Oh, yeah. I've actually. I'm glad you said that. Cause I've been saying that.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

So it's nice to have a coalition kind of building around that. I think Margot would nail your energy. She could get your energy.

[Rachel Pegram]

Exactly.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

She's got it.

[Unknown Comedian]

Kerry Washington was probably the best choice.

[Rachel Pegram]

Why?

[Unknown Comedian]

Why the best choice so far? What's up, you guys? Thank you so much, zocdoc, for being a sponsor of this episode. We absolutely love you. Look, some things in life are okay to be a total crapshoot. Like trying a new type of milk in your coffee or a cheap Instagram ad. Impulse buy. Or rolling the dice on a new workout class. Or mixing it up with a new takeout spot. Okay, all those things can be a crapshoot. But finding the right doctor shouldn't be a total crapshoot. And with ZocDoc, it's not. Because you've got more options than you've ever had before. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors. Choose the right one for your needs and click to instantly book a appointment. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors. Choose the right one for your needs and click to instantly book an appointment. We're talking about in network appointments with more than 100,000 healthcare providers across every specialty from mental health to dental health, eye care to skincare, and much, much more. Plus, Zocdoc appointments happen fast, typically within just 24 to 72 hours of booking. You can even score same day appointments. So stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to Zocdoc.com Sotrue to find and book highly rated doctors today. That's Z O c d o c.com so true. Zocdoc.com so true. What do you think about for me, Viola excluded.

[Rachel Pegram]

Viola excluded?

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah, I just realized I maybe don't want you to answer. It might get hurtful quick. No, you know what I mean. You know what I mean. When you let someone do that game and then you go, it's tough.

[Rachel Pegram]

It's tough.

[Unknown Comedian]

I didn't think I was given C. Bushemi, but all of a sudden, kind of, no.

[Rachel Pegram]

It's like people used to say in high school that I looked like Michelle Obama, which I didn't take too very well.

[Unknown Comedian]

She is beautiful, but I don't think you guys look alike.

[Rachel Pegram]

We don't. And it also just felt like black person.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Black person in politics, you.

[Unknown Comedian]

I think if we're relying on Pretty good.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

If we're relying on the awareness about black women from the teenagers at a high school in Texas.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

I can. I can see where it's all headed.

[Rachel Pegram]

Right Where Bush won or who was it going against? Was it still Michigan?

[Unknown Comedian]

Romney.

[Rachel Pegram]

No, it was Romney. That's it. Yeah. Romney won at our high school. We were voting.

[Unknown Comedian]

Oh, I bet he did.

[Rachel Pegram]

And I was like, oh, okay. I was like, all right. Good, good, good.

[Unknown Comedian]

You know what? I don't know his name, but there's an actor who was on Mindhunter and also had a small role in season one of Barry that is a big. He's a really. He's like a big, tall, heavy set, like a fat guy, and he's really funny and handsome, and I'm like, I would like it to maybe be him. I need to think. I need to know his name. But he will. Mmm. I don't know. He played. He played Ed Kemper in Mindhunter, I think. Yeah. Cameron Britton.

[Rachel Pegram]

Let's have a look.

[Unknown Comedian]

He's talented. He's talented and he's a handsome guy. Yeah. Yeah, Handsome guy. Talented actor.

[Rachel Pegram]

Cutie.

[Unknown Comedian]

Think he could do funny. I like Cameron. I'm happy to know his name.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah. That's your guy.

[Unknown Comedian]

Handsome guy.

[Rachel Pegram]

That's the one.

[Unknown Comedian]

Want him bad.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

Need him to be me.

[Rachel Pegram]

Okay.

[Unknown Comedian]

Would be cool with you. What are you in. Whoa, hold on.

[Rachel Pegram]

I don't know.

[Unknown Comedian]

Hold on.

[Rachel Pegram]

Well, he's got to get in the character.

[Unknown Comedian]

No worries. Hit me up, dog.

[Rachel Pegram]

We don't know who he is.

[Unknown Comedian]

Hey, brother. If you want to be inside of me, brother.

[Rachel Pegram]

Jesus Christ.

[Unknown Comedian]

I'm not really doing all that. Yeah. Hey, brother.

[Rachel Pegram]

What's up with that?

[Unknown Comedian]

That's. That's. That's my impression of a bottom.

[Rachel Pegram]

That's good. Hey, that's good.

[Unknown Comedian]

Come on. Please, sir. I'm just.

[Rachel Pegram]

No, I wish you did characters.

[Unknown Comedian]

Characters.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

Used to come on back in the day.

[Rachel Pegram]

That's good.

[Unknown Comedian]

You didn't know me when I was a character guy.

[Rachel Pegram]

I know. I don't Think you knew. Did you know me when I was doing characters?

[Unknown Comedian]

No.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

We both met each other at Normal. We both escaped our mental illness before our friendship. I think that's why we're so rock solid.

[Rachel Pegram]

Right, right, right. We went through something, and now we're out of it. Yes.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. Shared trauma. But not. Didn't experience it at the same time.

[Rachel Pegram]

No, no, no, no, no, no. But it informs us.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. Mo, I'm glad we never did a UCB showcase together.

[Rachel Pegram]

That.

[Unknown Comedian]

That's what I will say.

[Rachel Pegram]

No, it would have been.

[Unknown Comedian]

I don't want to see you pull a rubber chicken out of a bag. I like you. I like you just the way you are.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you have a lot of props?

[Unknown Comedian]

No.

[Rachel Pegram]

No.

[Unknown Comedian]

Do you want to know why? Do you want to know why I didn't have a lot of props? There was a tragic story in Chicago. This guy. Oh, this guy in Chicago worked for, like, a full year on his SNL audition. Like, busted his ass, did a million guest spots. I'll tell you who later did, like, a million guest spots and, like, really worked on it. And he was a pretty funny dude, honestly. Like, he had some stuff that made me laugh, and I'm famously critical. It was pretty funny, and he worked really hard. And then he did. He got. In Chicago, we do, like, a huge round where, like, a lot of people get a slot. Like, I think it's, like, was like three, 400 people get the first round, and the theater owner, Sharna, and the other people selecting, but mostly Sharna, they see all those people in a big first round, and then the second round is maybe like, what was it when we did it? Like, 30? 40. Yeah, 40. And then the third round, like, when SNL comes to town, and they always come watch the Chicago Showcase, if they're still even doing it. Yeah, it's 10. Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

And there's, like, one showcase for SNL.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Wow.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. For Chicago because they. And then they go see Second City, which. But they. This guy worked really hard, and he did his audition in the first round thinking, like, I'm definitely gonna get the second round. Like, this is my year. And then, like, the day he did a bunch of props, he did, like, a big bag and, like, a wig, and I, you know, and, like, really, like, would, like, ran around the back of the flat on the stage to, like, change into a new shirt, and then came out and was like, heidi, ho. You know, like, you know how it is.

[Rachel Pegram]

I do.

[Unknown Comedian]

And he really went heavy on props and, like, immersed himself in each character.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

And then the next day, the theater sent out a community wide email to, like, students, performers, ticket holders, anyone on the email list. The theater sent out an email that was like, hey, y'all, we've officially lost the plot on the props. Like, if you're running. And then specifically referenced his set and was like, if you're running backstage to put on an old lady wig, you're wasting time. Specifically our time. And it was like, really, like, everyone knew who it was about, of course. And so when I was. That was the year that I was preparing for mine for the next year, and I was like, I will do zero props.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

And I did zero props.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

No, that makes sense.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Damn.

[Unknown Comedian]

There's a real. There's a real craft to building your, like, five of a character showcase. And I have had a really specific theory on mine, and my theory was always, you should never have to announce the character you're doing. You should always come out with your loudest, biggest character. You should close with your killer. That's standard. And you shouldn't need props. Yeah, that was my. What do I know?

[Rachel Pegram]

You know, I. No, I. I feel like I generally agree with that. The only. I always did as minimal as possible.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Like, very, very few, Few things.

[Unknown Comedian]

Like, yeah, you can. You can have props, but they should be so additive and so simple.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes. And they only need to, like, it could ultimately be. I do them without them too. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's like, if it still will land without all of the stuff. Like, I also never really tried to do a lot of wigs, mostly because I can't really break my hair down very well. So I was like, it's going to be out.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

But wait, what was I going to say? Props and stuff on stage.

[Unknown Comedian]

On stage. Back when we were doing characters.

[Rachel Pegram]

Oh, I was. Oh. Just the thing about, like. Oh, yeah. Not explaining the characters. I feel like the only time when I would explain characters is like, I'm setting up specifically a bit.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. Like, that was a big problem I saw in Chicago, though, is that, like, people. I taught a character class for a second, and a big problem I saw was that people, like, the setup for the character would be funnier than the character itself.

[Rachel Pegram]

I see.

[Unknown Comedian]

They would be like, this is John Goodman at the Samsung store, you know, and then everyone would. That would get a laugh. And then in, it would just be John Goodman being like, my phone's broken. You know, it would be like, it would not. It would not have. The joke was not worth the setup. And it would be like, yeah, you. You just. You liked saying the setup out loud.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes.

[Unknown Comedian]

The joke. The juice wasn't worth the squeeze.

[Rachel Pegram]

I see. Yeah. But that makes sense.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. Hey, I gave it up.

[Rachel Pegram]

That makes a lot. And so did I. I gave up.

[Unknown Comedian]

Characters, as did you.

[Rachel Pegram]

Mm.

[Unknown Comedian]

And I went back to being number one. Being this guy. I went back to being this guy right here.

[Rachel Pegram]

Sometimes you just gotta get back in you.

[Unknown Comedian]

It really was funny in my comedy career that I for sure thought my route to success was gonna be, like, playing characters and doing all this, like, weird, like, extremely high concept stuff. And then over and over again, every time I tried, the, like, overwhelming feedback was like, we're not interested. We would like you to just be. We want to hear about you actually be regular. And I didn't want to. The reason I wanted to do characters so bad is I didn't want to be myself on stage. Stage.

[Rachel Pegram]

Right. Which is hard.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. I was like, I don't want to be me. I don't like me.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

When I was younger, you have to.

[Rachel Pegram]

Let yourself really be seen.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Just like, oh, you know, doing this all the time. Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

Sitting here, talking into there, and then also doing it on stage is like, eventually, even the most sociopathic, like, crazy good at hiding who they are person. The truth about you will come out.

[Rachel Pegram]

Of course.

[Unknown Comedian]

And I don't think I'm a sociopath. I just think I didn't like myself because I was 20, you know?

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

But you have to get really comfortable being like, you better like, who you are, because it's gonna come out and people are gonna see you. Yes.

[Rachel Pegram]

And it's easier to hide in characters. And also, like, really well crafted, like, oh, I know every little thing, you know, versus, like, sometimes being on stage is just, like, you're coming up with stuff. You're, like, letting stuff out. You're, like, saying things that you didn't plan. And, like, there's, like, obviously a lot of, like, fear in that. But then there's also a lot of, like, oh, there's great things that come out of that.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. There's also the most creative fulfillment and joy I've gotten out of my comedy were for sure. After I started just being myself.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

And talking about, like, what I actually want to talk about and writing jokes from my own actual perspective instead of. I mean, there was even a period there where I was first starting stand up, where I tried to do standup as characters because I was like, I'm interested in this art form. But I still don't want to be myself on stage. And that was, like, probably the bleakest. That was where it got really, like, buddy, just come on.

[Rachel Pegram]

Everyone's kind of saying, what are you doing?

[Unknown Comedian]

Everyone's like, come on, man.

[Rachel Pegram]

Hop on in.

[Unknown Comedian]

Come on, faggot. No, they're saying that. They're saying, you silly. Silly. Oh, tricks are for kids.

[Rachel Pegram]

Are they saying it's sweeter? They saying it means sweet. Okay, then, fine.

[Unknown Comedian]

Wouldn't that be fun if that was the commercial with the rabbit? Instead of saying silly rabbit, they said silly. And the rabbit was like, I want some tricks. You know? Wouldn't that be kind of fun? Let's put this out.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah, let's put this out as a clue.

[Unknown Comedian]

So it's. They. He'd say. He'd say, can I have some? And they'd say. Or. Sorry. He'd say. He'd say, can I have some? Yeah, because he wants their cereal.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

And then they'd say, silly. Tricks are for kids.

[Rachel Pegram]

I like it.

[Unknown Comedian]

That's fun.

[Rachel Pegram]

I like that. Yeah, I'll tune in.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. I'd watch him.

[Rachel Pegram]

I watch a show.

[Unknown Comedian]

And then. And then they'd say that. And then it cuts back to his reaction. He goes, oh, you know. You know how gay guys whimper.

[Rachel Pegram]

I do hear about that. I do be hearing about that.

[Unknown Comedian]

Anyway.

[Rachel Pegram]

No, but with the kids, anyways, it's cool. I'm like, why is he hanging out with the rabbit? What's the. What's the context?

[Unknown Comedian]

Why was the rabbit with the kids?

[Rachel Pegram]

Why are they hanging out? I'm not saying whether he's gay or not. Not. Okay.

[Unknown Comedian]

You're like, why are queer people around kids?

[Rachel Pegram]

No, no, no, no.

[Unknown Comedian]

Drag queen story hour.

[Rachel Pegram]

Okay, Listen, don't make me pull out my bush tattoo. Yeah, I. No, I'm just like, why? Why? But that is always off in the theme. It's just like. Like, Lucky Charms is just a little old man, and he's hanging out with all these kids.

[Unknown Comedian]

Well, he wants cereal.

[Rachel Pegram]

He wants the cereal.

[Unknown Comedian]

He loves it.

[Rachel Pegram]

No, he's saying they're after it.

[Unknown Comedian]

What?

[Rachel Pegram]

He's like. He's trying to keep the kids. It's like they're always after my lucky charm, but they're always after my.

[Unknown Comedian]

Oh, you can do that accent.

[Rachel Pegram]

I can do it.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

I don't know that I can.

[Unknown Comedian]

They're always after me Lucky Charms.

[Rachel Pegram]

I don't even think I have Irish in me.

[Unknown Comedian]

Try it.

[Rachel Pegram]

That whole. When he's after me Lucky Charles, there was something.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah, it was definitely different.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah, I'm really bad at them. Sometimes my Irish kind of dips into Jamaican, which is totally cool for you.

[Unknown Comedian]

I have to walk a pretty fine line, huh?

[Rachel Pegram]

Why?

[Unknown Comedian]

Well, be strong. If I'm doing a Jamaican accent.

[Rachel Pegram]

Get out there.

[Unknown Comedian]

Like, get out there. Come on, try it. Why not?

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah, Give us a little be bold. Was that it?

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah, this is my Jamaican. This is my Jamaican accent. I'm just a nice regular guy, and I'm from Jamaica. That's my Jamaican accent.

[Rachel Pegram]

I haven't heard that.

[Unknown Comedian]

You haven't heard Jamaica?

[Rachel Pegram]

Are you a white guy? Is that a white guy?

[Unknown Comedian]

In Jamaica, there are white Jamaicans.

[Rachel Pegram]

There are. But I feel like sometimes they still speak in patois.

[Unknown Comedian]

What does that sound like?

[Rachel Pegram]

The white guys?

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah, a white guy patois.

[Rachel Pegram]

Didn't you see? I've seen. I've seen a video recently of a little girl speaking patois.

[Unknown Comedian]

Oh, you're thinking of Chad Hanks. Yeah, you're thinking of Chad Han.

[Rachel Pegram]

Ah, you're so right.

[Unknown Comedian]

Rachel, I have a question for you. What's so true to you?

[Rachel Pegram]

Okay. Yes. So for me, I believe that black people, right. Should be able to believe.

[Unknown Comedian]

No worries.

[Rachel Pegram]

One conspiracy theory without judgment.

[Unknown Comedian]

I think I. Yeah, I'm down with that.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes.

[Unknown Comedian]

What's yours?

[Rachel Pegram]

My. My favorite. Although.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah, hedge those bets, baby. This is going out, so hedge those bets.

[Rachel Pegram]

No, no, no, it's okay.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Stevie Wonder can see a little.

[C]

What?

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

You do not.

[Rachel Pegram]

Sometimes he'd be taking pictures. I'm not saying he can see. I'm saying maybe he can see a little. He can see. Maybe he got procedured.

[Unknown Comedian]

I don't know. What do you mean he's taking pictures?

[Rachel Pegram]

Like, there is a picture of him taking a picture of, like, a wax figure of Michael Jackson or something. And I'm like, he's either trolling or he can see a little. He's taking pictures, right? He's catching stuff pretty quick in some videos. Look, I know the other senses are heightened, okay? And I. And I. And I believe this man can or couldn't see, was born without sight. But I'm just saying maybe now he can see just a little.

[Unknown Comedian]

You think he developed a little sight?

[Rachel Pegram]

I'm not like, man, you know, the science is all going all kinds of places.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Sciences, they're always coming up with something, you know?

[Unknown Comedian]

And you think they cured his blindness and didn't tell anybody?

[Rachel Pegram]

Well, think about. Think well, come on.

[Unknown Comedian]

Come on. You know, Bad for the brand.

[Rachel Pegram]

Exactly. No, it's too late. Yeah, he would have had to been seeing years ago. Yeah, yeah. For It. To change the brand. Now people are like, what? Huh?

[Unknown Comedian]

Just go out the way we remember you.

[Rachel Pegram]

Exactly. Keep it classic.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Keep it motion.

[Unknown Comedian]

Keep it motion. Keep it classic and keep it motion. I will say you saved yourself with a little bit. When you say he can see a little bit. That's what really keeps you in the safe zone.

[Rachel Pegram]

Just a little.

[Unknown Comedian]

That's the important thing for a conspiracy theorist, as I think, you know, you have to leave a little bit of like, I don't know.

[Rachel Pegram]

Right. And I. Right, right, right. And I could be. And I probably am.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

In fact, I know I'm wrong, but.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

It's still kind of like. Like, I couldn't be. Right.

[Unknown Comedian]

But to your point, black people should get one a year.

[Rachel Pegram]

I think so. Because we've been lied to.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

We've been lied to time and time again.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

This, that, and the other in this.

[Unknown Comedian]

In your idea, like, when. If black people get one conspiracy theory. Which I'm on board with.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes.

[Unknown Comedian]

Does this count as reparations or do. Are we still also doing.

[Rachel Pegram]

No, we're gonna need some. No worries. We're gonna need a little extra. We'll need a little extra.

[Unknown Comedian]

Happy to do it.

[Rachel Pegram]

I don't know how we figure out reparations. It's wild.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Like, I mean, they're trying to do it in California.

[Unknown Comedian]

Are they?

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes, to give reparations. Which is hard to me because I'm like, how do you put a price on it? Ultimately, not to get to, but. Yeah, but like, cuz, like. Okay, so during the pandemic, you know, a lot of people, I think, were doing this where they were sent, like, white people. They were sending money to any of their black friends or just any black person that they'd ever met or just sending a note. I got a note from somebody I was on an improv team with maybe 10 years ago or something. It was something wild. Not that long anyways. But some. This guy, and I was like, he's reaching out, being like, I hope you're doing well. All of this stuff is so crazy right now. But, like, I'm just thinking about you. I'm like, do you really have so few black friends.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. That you.

[Rachel Pegram]

You had to reach.

[Unknown Comedian]

You're dipping into the archive, like, come.

[Rachel Pegram]

On into the Mary Poppins bag of, like, black people, you know, to pull me out. I'm like, why? Are you kidding? But that, like. But I also had somebody, like, send me money during that time too, who was like, I don't think I paid you enough for all of this, like, labor you did. And then it was just like, oh, you've now put a price on it, and now you're absolved. Or he feels absolved, you know?

[Unknown Comedian]

Did you absolve him?

[Rachel Pegram]

I mean, I took the money, absolutely, But I. But then afterwards, I was like, should I have taken it? But then I was like, I don't really know what the right thing to do would have been.

[Unknown Comedian]

Well, as you know, I am not black, and I do apologize, but thank you. And thank you for letting me apologize.

[Rachel Pegram]

Thank you for that.

[Unknown Comedian]

I would say I think you should. Absolutely. Anytime a white. A white person is doing, like, a big white guilt gesture.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

I would think dealing with white people is exhausting enough that you should just probably take the money.

[Rachel Pegram]

I know. It's just like. I just want you to not talk to me anymore.

[Unknown Comedian]

Let it be over.

[Rachel Pegram]

I just want to be done with this.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

But then it's like you walk away and you're like, well, I helped her out, you know? And I'm like, no, this sucks.

[Unknown Comedian]

I guess this is not cool.

[Rachel Pegram]

Right?

[Unknown Comedian]

We. You and I talked a little bit about this, but when. When white people with followings. Do you remember during the, like, the 2020 stuff when white people with big Internet followings were, like, letting a black person run their account for two days? People were in my DMs, mad that I wasn't doing that. And I was like, I have to tell you.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

This feels to me like if I do this, my black friends are going to make fun of me until the day I die.

[Rachel Pegram]

Right.

[Unknown Comedian]

It feels so patronizing.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes.

[Unknown Comedian]

To be like, I'm so sorry about the plight of your race for many hundreds of years in our country. Might it help if you could be me for two days?

[Rachel Pegram]

Right.

[Unknown Comedian]

That's insane.

[Rachel Pegram]

No, it doesn't make any sense. We were really poisoned during that time. I think no one was really thinking straight. Exactly. There were certain things that were good, of course, but then it was just like, what's going on? Like, I remember there was a girl who, like, really did. Doesn't. Hadn't ever fucked with me. Really. Did not.

[Unknown Comedian]

Mortal enemy of mine.

[Rachel Pegram]

No, but just. I don't want to. I don't want to give too much, but, like, she just, like, didn't really fuck with me. But then she just, like, posted me on her story, being like, like, and I love this comedian. And I was like, you do? I was like, just like, and I love you. And I love these other four black girls. Like, these are my favorite girls in comedy And I was like, huh, Obviously it was a white woman. But like, I was just like, oh.

[Unknown Comedian]

I guess that had to feel so insane.

[Rachel Pegram]

No, I felt absolutely crazy. I was like, you can't look at me backstage after a show, but you about to post me. Like, you know me. Anyways.

[Unknown Comedian]

Anyway.

[Rachel Pegram]

I'm talking too much shit.

[Unknown Comedian]

No, you didn't say a name. But that is. That would feel fucking crazy.

[Rachel Pegram]

It just felt like. It was just like, oh, you're just pandering. None of this actually means anything to you.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. Yeah. So I'm glad you took the money from that guy. I'll say that.

[Rachel Pegram]

Thank you.

[Unknown Comedian]

I'm happy for that.

[Rachel Pegram]

I bought an apple watch.

[Unknown Comedian]

Did you?

[Rachel Pegram]

That I still have.

[Unknown Comedian]

He sent you. Oh, he sent you a lot of money.

[Rachel Pegram]

Well, you know.

[Unknown Comedian]

Well, things were bad.

[Rachel Pegram]

Well, you know, things were going well.

[Unknown Comedian]

I love that.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. That's nice.

[Rachel Pegram]

I still have the Apple watch. And ultimately, I do think about it from time to time.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. When I'm checking my steps, I think of this man.

[Rachel Pegram]

I say, oh, beautiful. Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

Huh. Well, okay. So what's so true to you is that black people should get a conspiracy free of judgment. I love that.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

And I'll go in with you on that.

[Rachel Pegram]

Thank you.

[Unknown Comedian]

I had it so true that I was thinking of this morning.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes.

[Unknown Comedian]

But I can't remember what it was. What was I upset about this morning? I was in the shower. I was in the shower talking out loud to myself. Do you ever do that?

[Rachel Pegram]

Of course.

[Unknown Comedian]

I was in the shower going, these fucking people. I was so mad about something. Something that somebody was doing.

[Rachel Pegram]

No, my.

[Unknown Comedian]

So true. This morning. What was it? God damn it. I can't remember it, but I was hot this morning. Something happened that had me.

[Rachel Pegram]

Hot damn.

[Unknown Comedian]

But this is. I get. I get real rageful about something for 20 seconds, and then I move on.

[Rachel Pegram]

And you let it go.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

But that's good.

[Unknown Comedian]

I do think it's the best thing.

[Rachel Pegram]

That's excellent. Holding on to it. That's the worst.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Then it comes out at really weird, random times. And now you're, like, yelling at somebody like, I don't know.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Then I have. I don't know. I'd be having road rage, you know? Well, nowhere.

[Unknown Comedian]

Oh, I.

[Rachel Pegram]

Or something.

[Unknown Comedian]

You do not have to talk to me about it. I definitely have. Yeah. I'm. I'm. I'm a great driver, but I'm. Hey, I have opinions out there.

[Rachel Pegram]

Of course.

[Unknown Comedian]

Here's something I want to say. Broker fees.

[Rachel Pegram]

Okay.

[Unknown Comedian]

To get an apartment. Enjoy. Hell y'all. Are all going to hell. Every one of you are going to hell.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

I just paid.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

A fifty nine hundred dollar broker fee.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

To get an apartment.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

I don't get that back. That's not a deposit. That doesn't come back to me.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah, yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

That just goes to the real estate group who they sent one 22 year old girl to be mean to me and open up the apartment for 20 minutes.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes.

[Unknown Comedian]

She wasn't even nice to me. And I was being charming. I was like, I walked up to the apartment, I said, I said, hey, how's it going? Thanks for showing it to me. She goes, it's fine. Here you go.

[Rachel Pegram]

It's such a scam.

[Unknown Comedian]

I said, first of all, you're a tween. They couldn't even send an adult to deal with me. This is the most disrespectful situation I've ever been in. Then I'm asking her questions about the apartment. I'm like, how many units in the building? She's like, I don't know, probably like 20. I'm like, probably like, probably like, yeah, can I get an adult in the room?

[Rachel Pegram]

No, the. I, I feel like the broker's fee is truly one of the biggest scams, like, is. I don't feel like it's in LA though.

[Unknown Comedian]

This was in New York. Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

They have like a broker. But I'm like, it's so like, what is the point of this and who does this money go to? You know, it goes straight to them. But like, for what?

[Unknown Comedian]

LA is better because if you rent an apartment over a certain amount per month in la, they can't charge you a broker's fee. They can only charge the owner.

[Rachel Pegram]

Which makes sense.

[Unknown Comedian]

That's how it should be.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes.

[Unknown Comedian]

I'm getting you a quality tenant who's gonna come in and pay the rent on time and not fuck up the walls or whatever. You should pay them, not me. Why the fuck am I paying?

[Rachel Pegram]

The landlord should always pay.

[Unknown Comedian]

But in New York it's so hard to find a good apartment that they have everyone over a fucking barrel.

[Rachel Pegram]

Oh, they do.

[Unknown Comedian]

It's insane, it's disgusting.

[Rachel Pegram]

And all the kinds of deposits that they used to try and make you pay, baby. The first, the middle, the last, the in between. I said, what are we doing?

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. They're like, we want, we want first, last, third and sixth. How about I just pay? How about I buy the apartments? That sound good? God, people.

[Rachel Pegram]

I mean, I. There was like an apartment, but this is actually out here. When it was like, just a bad time. Just like during. Like, right after Covet or whatever. And there was somebody who came in. They were like, oh, offered to pay for the full year. Like, their parents offered to pay for the full year of the apartment. I'm like, well, none of us are competing with that.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Like, no, I'm not going to pay you. Whatever. $40,000 out of my pocket right away.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

That's crazy.

[Unknown Comedian]

I'm not set up that way. No, I did. I did. The apartment I just rented in New York. I had to go up in rent to, like, get the place.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

To compete with the other people who applied. And I was like, I'll go up a little bit.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

I'm not going up much more than the place. But the place. The thing is, the place I just got is. It was underpriced, I will say. I see they're not charging as much as they should have been. So I was like, I'm happy to go up a little bit because it was under my budget.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

But these people are insane.

[Rachel Pegram]

No. People will go nuts.

[Unknown Comedian]

It's out of control. Renting is. So we need a federal rent control. We need regulation on the highest level.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes.

[Unknown Comedian]

I'm ready.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes. Yeah, I just got a rent increase at my place, and I was like, about. Well, listen, not that much. Not too bad.

[Unknown Comedian]

You're like, 50 bucks.

[Rachel Pegram]

No, it was like. Okay, but it's the principle. It's the principle. It's about $80, but it's the principal.

[Unknown Comedian]

Okay, I'm with you.

[Rachel Pegram]

Okay. Because this place is not that nice. I mean, it's nice enough, but it's not that nice. You know, it's cute. Okay. Or whatever. But, like, there are issues, you know?

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Sometimes the elevator just stops.

[Unknown Comedian]

It's not working.

[Rachel Pegram]

Right.

[Unknown Comedian]

Or like.

[Rachel Pegram]

I don't know. They're just like, oh, it's not working. You can't get out of it.

[Unknown Comedian]

Stair time.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

It's time to walk.

[Rachel Pegram]

And I'm like, come on. But I'm paying for the elevator.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Am I right? Come on. I'm paying for the elevator.

[Unknown Comedian]

I'll always be. You're not gonna find me siding with the lamp, all right? I'll tell you that.

[Rachel Pegram]

Look, the. There's a gym downstairs. Technically, the gym should be a full gym. You know what I mean? You're using all the equipment. All the equipment should work, right?

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

The light should be able to turn on.

[Unknown Comedian]

Think again.

[Rachel Pegram]

That kind of thing, you know? No, the elliptical hasn't worked in years. I don't know. When the last time I think makes so much noise. Clank, clank, clank, clank. The bike is by the door. If someone opens it, they're gonna hit you.

[Unknown Comedian]

And guess what they're not going to do with that extra 80amonth from you.

[Rachel Pegram]

No.

[Unknown Comedian]

Fix the elliptical.

[Rachel Pegram]

They're not fixing nothing. No, but I'm about to ask for some things. I'll tell you what.

[Unknown Comedian]

When you're. Hey. When you're. When your landlord raises the r. The only thing they're fixing to do is go on vacation.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah. Come on, take it to the stage. Take it to the stage, honey.

[Unknown Comedian]

The only thing they're fixing is their situation in the Bahamas.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes. Come on. You're killing. You're killing feelings.

[Unknown Comedian]

That is so stupid.

[Rachel Pegram]

No, it's good.

[Unknown Comedian]

You want to know my new favorite joke?

[Rachel Pegram]

Huh?

[Unknown Comedian]

Picture this. I'm in a pharmacy in Paris.

[Rachel Pegram]

Okay.

[Unknown Comedian]

Like, I'm only the listeners. I'm going to try to tell this every episode now. No, I'm not. I will tell you, though. I'm in a pharmacy in Paris.

[Rachel Pegram]

All right?

[Unknown Comedian]

I'm trying to make my friend laugh. Okay? We're in the feminine hygiene section. I turn to my friend and I go, okay, feminine hygiene. I'll give it a try. Hygiene. Now, that's a real comedian right there. Respecting the craft. A true love for the form.

[Rachel Pegram]

You go, full clean comic. Like, that's pretty. That's pretty good.

[Unknown Comedian]

I get on stage and I go, when you're. When your landlord raises rent, the only thing they're fixing is fixing to go on another vacation. I put feminine hygiene in there. I wouldn't. Let me tell you something.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes.

[Unknown Comedian]

If y'all ever see me take a turn into Christian comedy.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes.

[Unknown Comedian]

Keep your mouth shut.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

I'm buying a private jet.

[Rachel Pegram]

Exactly.

[Unknown Comedian]

They fucking pay. And I would kill.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes.

[Unknown Comedian]

I would kill. Y'all ever notice the different ways that people hold up their hands during worship?

[Rachel Pegram]

Already laughing. Already dead. Dead Screaming, laughing.

[Unknown Comedian]

Private jet. Private jet. New home. New home. Home.

[Rachel Pegram]

You're doing this one. They're like, so you.

[Unknown Comedian]

You know, Christian comics are raking it in. And if you ever see me make a turn, know that my heart was not changed. No, I did not find God. Jesus did not enter my life. I got serious about my money.

[Rachel Pegram]

I won't say a word.

[Unknown Comedian]

Thank you.

[Rachel Pegram]

I will know what's happening, and I'll say, keep it going.

[Unknown Comedian]

Keep it going. And just know that on the side, I am silently donating a lot of money to progressive causes.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

But if you see me doing a Christian arena church tour about what's going on with our men and boys. Don't worry about it. Just know. Just know I'm getting paid handsomely.

[Rachel Pegram]

You're crushing, though. Yeah. You're making so much money.

[Unknown Comedian]

I would kill in there. Feminine hygiene is gonna go platinum in there.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes.

[Unknown Comedian]

You go platinum. At a Christian men's conference in Missouri.

[Rachel Pegram]

There was like a set I watched or like part of a set that was just like a bunch of teachers doing comedy for other teachers. And the teachers, like, they're not even necessarily full stand up comedians. They're just like, very funny teachers. And I'm like, they're crushing. And they're going around the country and it's not.

[Unknown Comedian]

It's not even full jokes. No, it's students. They're like. Students don't really turn in their homework dying.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes, yes, yes, yes. You know, you know when the kids don't sit in their seat, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know when they sit like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

You always got to put the talkative one in a new seat. Yeah. That's kind of what I do for gay people.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

I'm like, y'all ever heard of Grinder? They go, they scream, they fall out of their chairs, they bleed out of the eyes.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah, yeah. They're having the time of their life.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

I'm feeling seen.

[Unknown Comedian]

I'm like, yeah. I'm a topic comic for lesbians. I go, I go. I go. Not when you get a girlfriend and you guys have to move in right away. Lesbians scream, shout, throw.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah, yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

They love it. They unlace their docks. They throw them.

[Rachel Pegram]

I was thinking Birkenstocks.

[Unknown Comedian]

Birkenstocks, yeah. Either one could be the other. It's so you could do my job as well. Yeah, it could have been Birkenstocks. No worries. Yeah, they throw their copy of All About Love by bell hooks.

[Rachel Pegram]

You have to.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah, you just toss it up on the stage. That's what they do for me. They love me.

[Rachel Pegram]

I'm sitting on the middle of my table.

[Unknown Comedian]

What do you want?

[Rachel Pegram]

All About Love. What's that?

[Unknown Comedian]

What do you want? What do I want out of life?

[Rachel Pegram]

Me.

[Unknown Comedian]

What are you doing this for?

[Rachel Pegram]

What am I doing all of it for?

[Unknown Comedian]

What are you doing all this for? You're a brilliant comedian. You're so talented. You're an incredible writer. You're a very successful writer.

[Rachel Pegram]

Get out.

[Unknown Comedian]

Things are going well. Meanwhile, you're writing TV shows, you're making money. You're an NYU graduate. You're making your family proud. Your mom and dad are. They're in Denton. They're smiling big. They love to see Rachel winning and so do I. But what's it all for?

[Rachel Pegram]

What is it all for? Oh, my God. I don't know.

[Unknown Comedian]

Come on.

[Rachel Pegram]

Just having a good time.

[Unknown Comedian]

That has been an answer recently. People are really digging that one.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Having a nice time.

[Unknown Comedian]

People are liking to have a nice time.

[Rachel Pegram]

I don't know. I think I'm doing it not to be. Not to be. But I don't know, I kind of feel like I'm doing it because I'm trying to write and make things that speak to a younger version of me and people like me that I think is important.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

A big thing that's been coming up with a lot of my artistic friends recently is just like inner child stuff.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

And thinking about like, what is going on with. Yeah. What is going on with 10 year old you? 12 year old you? What did they want to see?

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

Or what life would they have wanted you to live?

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah. I think like, especially in like a lot of people's like solo shows and longer pieces that I've been watching, it feels like a lot of it is a nur thing, like something to do with that. Even if it's not like directly about like childhood something going on. It's like, oh, there's like some way in which you're trying to like heal a little bit. And I kind of. But being very funny. I think that's actually the key. But yeah, I, I really resonate with that.

[Unknown Comedian]

So I asked some friends at dinner this recently and I'm curious what your answer would be because I feel like you have really good taste in music. Well, if you can only hear two albums for the rest of your life. And when I say that, I don't mean just like when you sit down to listen to music, I go, when you're hearing music in the grocery store, in a cab, when you hear music in a movie or TV show, it would all be replaced with only some music from these two records. What would your two albums be? My. I. It's hard to choose, obviously, but the two I've been saying that I think cover the widest range of things for me.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

Are the Chicks Fly album, formerly the Dixie Chicks and Miseducation of Warren Hill. Those two albums together, I'm like, I could do anything with something off of those.

[Rachel Pegram]

Oh my God, yes. I'm so bad with off. Like knowing off the cuff, I'm like, what music do I like, I'm only thinking of the music that I last listened to. It's like the City Girls. Not gonna be the city girl. Love the city girls.

[Unknown Comedian]

That's a great answer.

[Rachel Pegram]

Answer be the city girls. That doesn't feel correct. I think it would be Tapestry. Carole King and then going, absolutely brain dead. No, I'm like, just searching through the things and I'm like, well, what's the most, like, actually resonant, meaningful that I really like?

[Unknown Comedian]

Tapestry by Carol King is a really good one.

[Rachel Pegram]

That one.

[Unknown Comedian]

That's a really good one.

[Rachel Pegram]

It's like I kind of return to it all the time. Yeah. So I'm trying to think of the things that I return to. I mean, honestly, it was coming, not coming for. But I did have my sort of conspiracy theory around Stevie Wonder. But Stevie Wonder is a very important.

[Unknown Comedian]

You can do songs in the key. Life.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

Didn't you see him live?

[Rachel Pegram]

Well, so. So that's actually an interesting. Well. So here's what happened. Okay. So I was at. You're like, why aren't you like. You're all.

[Unknown Comedian]

I'm like, something's really going on with you and Stevie.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah. Spiritually, we're connected. No, I was at a concert in the park. There was just like a DJ who was like playing Stevie Wonder tribute.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Like, just all his music, remixing, whatever, and everyone. It's like a bunch of families. People are dancing, having a nice time. It's really cute. And, you know, you're just chilling. Like, it's just. It's just the dj, stay in the park. In the park. So then I know where the DJ sort of announces like, hey, like, Stevie Wonder's here. And I was like, no, he's not. I said at the park. Specifically, it was MacArthur Park. So, like downtown. Oh, Stevie Wonder's at MacArthur Park.

[Unknown Comedian]

Sure, sure, baby.

[Rachel Pegram]

But everyone's rushing the stage and I'm like, oh, Realizing he's here. He's come to the park.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

He's come to be amongst the people. And he was really just there to kind of hang out and be like, hello, Bob.

[Unknown Comedian]

In his head, he's like, this is a good one. Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

He wanted to, like. He wanted us to sing a bit of a song. He was like teaching us the parts at one point for a song that he had created. And then getting mad at us for not getting it right and being like, somebody's off. Stop, stop, stop. Somebody's off. Like, we're not singers. We also didn't know this was going to happen, you know? No, One's warmed up, like, give us a chance. But no, he was like, there. And then he started singing. And then at one point, he was like, hey, now, listen. Tomorrow, I want everyone to listen to me. Okay? 6am Tomorrow, 6am I need you to do something for me. Everyone's like, yes, Stevie, yes. Yes. Like, I'm gonna need you to pray. And they say, yes, I'm gonna need you to be. Just be at your home. And I need you to pray. Pray for a cure to cancer.

[Unknown Comedian]

Well.

[Rachel Pegram]

And that's it.

[Unknown Comedian]

And did you.

[Rachel Pegram]

And that was it.

[Unknown Comedian]

And did you.

[Rachel Pegram]

Did I pray?

[Unknown Comedian]

Yes.

[Rachel Pegram]

Well, I. Not at 6:00am but later.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. He said. He said, hey, I hate cancer as much as the next guy, but I'm not getting up.

[Rachel Pegram]

Well, I was sort of like. It just kind of came out of nowhere. We were. We. He wasn't even talking. No one was talking about cancer. Cancer wasn't even on the menu. But then he was like, we need a cure. And I said, well, that's not wrong. Yeah. It's not incorrect.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah, he's right.

[Rachel Pegram]

Love for it to be gone.

[Unknown Comedian]

I do hate cancer.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

But.

[Rachel Pegram]

But what are we talking about? And what are you doing here? And then he left for a little while. Okay. And then he came back. He came back to just sing a little bit and talk a little bit. Left again.

[Unknown Comedian]

What? How are you going to feel when the news breaks in, like, two weeks that he has cancer?

[Rachel Pegram]

He has cancer and he's about to leave us?

[Unknown Comedian]

You're going to feel crazy that I didn't. He's dropping all these hints. He's like, I just need y'all to pray. Tomorrow at 6am he's got, like, an appointment. Appointment. He's like, 6am Tomorrow. Pray for anybody who's at Cedar Sinai receiving secret treatment for cancer.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah, well, you know. And then I'll be happy that I got to see him.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

What?

[Unknown Comedian]

Got it in under the wire. Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Well, you know, to get right before he goes.

[Unknown Comedian]

No worries.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

Hey, I got a segment for you.

[Rachel Pegram]

Huh?

[Unknown Comedian]

Guess what? I'm gonna read you 15 statements. You're gonna tell me as quickly as you can if you think they're true or false.

[Rachel Pegram]

Okay?

[Unknown Comedian]

And let me tell you something, Rachel. If you get 10 or more correct.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes.

[Unknown Comedian]

I'm gonna give you 50 US dollars.

[Rachel Pegram]

What the heck?

[Unknown Comedian]

Exactly correct. Kim Possible aired on Cartoon Network.

[Rachel Pegram]

No.

[Unknown Comedian]

False.

[Rachel Pegram]

It was false.

[Unknown Comedian]

Disney Channel. Sharks are technically mammals, not fish.

[Rachel Pegram]

False.

[Unknown Comedian]

False. They're fish. There are 73 books in the Catholic Bible.

[Rachel Pegram]

True.

[Unknown Comedian]

True. Daniel Radcliffe has been in two Broadway shows.

[Rachel Pegram]

True.

[Unknown Comedian]

False. Five Key West, Florida is the southernmost point in the continental United States.

[Rachel Pegram]

True.

[Unknown Comedian]

True. Sloths have wings.

[Rachel Pegram]

False.

[Unknown Comedian]

False. Audra McDonald was born in New York City.

[Rachel Pegram]

True.

[Unknown Comedian]

False. Berlin, Germany. 1.3 million planet Earths could fit inside the sun.

[Rachel Pegram]

True.

[Unknown Comedian]

True. I don't like thinking about that. Prior to the year 1800, 43% of all people died before reaching the age of five.

[Rachel Pegram]

True.

[Unknown Comedian]

That's true. The largest wedding veil on record was over four miles long.

[Rachel Pegram]

False.

[Unknown Comedian]

True. The Dallas Cowboys were originally the Fort Worth Fighting Footballers. The first iPhone was released in 2007.

[Rachel Pegram]

True.

[Unknown Comedian]

True. The Great Fire of London only caused six deaths.

[Rachel Pegram]

True.

[Unknown Comedian]

True. Don Knotts is a fictional character.

[Rachel Pegram]

False.

[Unknown Comedian]

False. Lighters were invented before matches.

[Rachel Pegram]

True.

[Unknown Comedian]

True. Ah, you. That's the best one we've had in a long time. Yeah. Really, really impressive. Good job.

[Rachel Pegram]

Thanks.

[Unknown Comedian]

You. That's better than. When was last time we had a. 12 months. My guests are not really.

[Rachel Pegram]

I'm tapped in.

[Unknown Comedian]

You're tapped to include.

[Rachel Pegram]

I'm tapped into all kinds of stuff.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah, you're smart.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

A lot of my guests are a little on the. On the ding bat side. A little silly, a little bit.

[Rachel Pegram]

A little bit goofy, A little on the ding bat song.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Jesus.

[Unknown Comedian]

Guess what would kill at Christian conference Crush.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

I lived out in LA for a while. Let's just say my friends were a little on the ding bat side. Let's say I had a couple friends whose hair color they weren't born with. Okay.

[Rachel Pegram]

You might be a ding bat.

[Unknown Comedian]

You might be a. You might be a ding bat.

[Rachel Pegram]

Come on. That's going on the shirt.

[Unknown Comedian]

We need to form a duo. We need to form a duo.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes. Yes, yes. Yes.

[Unknown Comedian]

You ever watch Righteous Gemstones?

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes.

[Unknown Comedian]

We need to form like Amy Lee and Baby Billy. Please get us the Haven people.

[Rachel Pegram]

I think what would be crazy is, like, people would really love it.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

But maybe be confused if it's real or not.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. You. I. You think you and I. If it suits us.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes.

[Unknown Comedian]

Earnestness.

[Rachel Pegram]

Like an earnest Christian comedy.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. We could get there.

[Rachel Pegram]

And then at the end, we're asking people if they want to dedicate their life to Christ.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. Coming down to the altar. Why not?

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes.

[Unknown Comedian]

Running through the house with a pickle in my mouth. Come on, Miss Behaving. You know that song? Love that song. You and I would do good as a Christian duo.

[Rachel Pegram]

I agree.

[Unknown Comedian]

We could do like a modern twist on it too. Like a young person's Christianity.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah. We're doing some claps. We're getting people going.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah, we're like using Internet slang. We're like, notice how I show up to church? Very demure, very cute.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah, we're kind of getting like all different demographics too, you know, so we're like getting people in their early 20s, but we're also catching people in their 60s. Yeah, they're enjoying it.

[Unknown Comedian]

Exactly. Because they're like. I don't know what they're saying, but the young people eat it up.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yes.

[Unknown Comedian]

I'm like, I think the apple's rotten straight to the core. Eve shouldn't have eaten it. And they're like, oh, my God.

[Rachel Pegram]

It's like, what was Eve doing?

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

You know, what was she thinking?

[Unknown Comedian]

Eve, you crazy dumb. We take it a little too far. Eve, you stupid. These. There's one rule. We really go in.

[Rachel Pegram]

Stay still, Eve. Okay, Mind your business.

[Unknown Comedian]

All right. There's a snake that can talk, you idiot.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah, you stupid little.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah, yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

Take your hair out of your eyes, you long haired. They're like, oh, they go, oh, we.

[Unknown Comedian]

Maybe shouldn't have hired these two. These two are not actually given.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah, you raggedy old. You're Adam's little, aren't you, Rachel? Yeah. With your. All your holes open, bent over.

[Unknown Comedian]

Oh, don't bring Adam into holes.

[Rachel Pegram]

Open for Jesus. Born yet, you idiot.

[Unknown Comedian]

Rachel.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah, you.

[Unknown Comedian]

You're sick.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah, let Adam spit in your hole. Learn. Learn to live a little.

[Unknown Comedian]

Did you say spit in your hole?

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah.

[Unknown Comedian]

I don't think I've ever had a guest make me as uncomfortable as you are.

[Rachel Pegram]

Okay. Or we not having? Freaky. No.

[Unknown Comedian]

Spitting in holes.

[Rachel Pegram]

Are we not out here having.

[Unknown Comedian]

I mean, it's happening for sure.

[Rachel Pegram]

Exactly.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah, yeah.

[Rachel Pegram]

We're licking the pits. We're having some fun.

[Unknown Comedian]

We're looking.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah, we're. We're.

[Unknown Comedian]

Come on, brother.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah, we're kind of getting in there.

[Unknown Comedian]

Exactly.

[Rachel Pegram]

Getting in the creases.

[Unknown Comedian]

I love your energy.

[Rachel Pegram]

Let me get behind an elbow crease.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah. What are you doing over there?

[Rachel Pegram]

I don't know.

[Unknown Comedian]

You're gonna bite the elbow crease, fool around in it. You're getting in there.

[Rachel Pegram]

I'm figure I'mma get in there and I'll figure it out.

[Unknown Comedian]

You're scaring the hell out of me. I know your. I know your professor boyfriend. I didn't know he was really dealing with all that.

[Rachel Pegram]

I'm just saying this is how. This is how I am. This is who I am.

[Unknown Comedian]

Yeah, you're doing elbow crease stuff.

[Rachel Pegram]

Elbow crease stuff for the girls, for the boys.

[Unknown Comedian]

I've always said that about you. Yeah. Cuz you're a little lesbian.

[Rachel Pegram]

Yeah, that's what they're calling it.

[Unknown Comedian]

I'm a little lesbian. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, boy. Well, thanks for being on.

[Rachel Pegram]

Oh, my God. Thank you for having me.

[Unknown Comedian]

I think the world of you.

[Rachel Pegram]

I think the world of you.

[Unknown Comedian]

I just think you're a genius and I just love you.

[Rachel Pegram]

Oh, my God.

[Unknown Comedian]

Will you tell the people where they can find you?

[Rachel Pegram]

They can find me on Instagram at. I am Rachel Pegram.

[Unknown Comedian]

And you truly are. You really are Rachel.

[Rachel Pegram]

That's all it is.

[Unknown Comedian]

Thanks so much for being here. Bye.