Trixie Mattel Returns

Summary

Podcast Summary: So True with Caleb Hearon – Episode: Trixie Mattel Returns

In this engaging and heartfelt episode of "So True with Caleb Hearon," host Caleb Hearon welcomes the beloved gay comedian and drag icon, Trixie Mattel. The episode delves deep into Trixie's recent hiatus from drag, her experiences during this break, and her triumphant return to the stage. Throughout the conversation, Caleb and Trixie explore themes of mental health, personal growth, political activism, artistic expression, and the intricate dynamics of maintaining a public persona.

---

1. Taking a Hiatus: Personal Struggles and Mental Health

Timestamp: 05:00 – 12:20

Trixie begins by candidly discussing her decision to take a three-month hiatus from drag. The break was a necessary step to address her mental health and prevent burnout from her demanding performance schedule. She shares the profound impact this period had on her, including significant weight loss and emotional distress.

Trixie Mattel ([12:07]): "I've never been so thin and unhappy in my life."

Caleb empathizes with Trixie's struggles, highlighting the pressures that come with being in the public eye and constantly performing.

---

2. Activities During the Hiatus: Reconnecting with Self

Timestamp: 14:00 – 24:00

During her time away from drag, Trixie engaged in various activities aimed at rejuvenating her spirit and reconnecting with herself. These included:

• Cooking: Utilizing Green Chef services, Trixie honed her culinary skills, preparing meals with fresh ingredients from her garden.

  Trixie Mattel ([02:12]): "I cooked breakfast this morning. I made gorgeous eggs and potatoes, you know, a fresh rosemary from the garden."

• Gardening: She tended to her garden in Los Angeles, embracing a homesteading lifestyle.

  Trixie Mattel ([02:22]): "In the pit yard in the yard. I'm homesteading in Los Angeles."

• Creative Pursuits: Trixie played the guitar, practiced watercolor painting, and enjoyed long walks and bike rides.

  Trixie Mattel ([16:00]): "I play my guitar and sing all the time again. Getting ready for some DJ dates coming up and just not overworking."

• Social Activities: She dabbled in playing pool, leading to amusing anecdotes about competing against strangers in pool halls.

  Trixie Mattel ([25:36]): "I was in Milwaukee playing and I played against this, like, straight guy, and he was in front of his girlfriend..."

• Horse Racing Experience: Trixie attended horse races in Keeneland, Kentucky, providing a cultural contrast to her Los Angeles life and offering insights into the world of horse racing and the associated MAGA culture.

  Trixie Mattel ([16:00]): "I went to the horse races in Keeneland. It was really nice."

---

3. Returning to Drag: Embracing Authenticity

Timestamp: 24:00 – 35:00

After her hiatus, Trixie expresses a renewed dedication to the drag art form. She reflects on the dangers of feeling like her drag persona was becoming a mere imitation devoid of genuine emotion.

Trixie Mattel ([52:50]): "It was sick to sit down here in a wig and not enjoy it."

Caleb highlights Trixie's transformation, noting her shift from feeling like a product to embracing her authentic self in her performances.

---

4. Political Engagement: Voting in Drag

Timestamp: 20:00 – 24:00

A significant portion of the conversation centers around Trixie's decision to vote in drag during her trip to Wisconsin. This act symbolizes a blend of her personal identity with her political activism.

Trixie Mattel ([24:39]): "I'm gonna go vote."

Trixie recounts the challenges and cultural nuances of voting in drag, emphasizing the importance of participation in the democratic process.

---

5. Acting and "English Teacher": Exploring New Arenas

Timestamp: 28:49 – 30:00

Trixie discusses her role in FX’s new show "English Teacher," collaborating with fellow drag queen Brian on the series. She delves into the complexities of acting versus performing in drag, sharing insights into character development and the subtleties of television acting.

Trixie Mattel ([28:49]): "I got to play... in 'English Teacher.' It's so funny."

---

6. Mental Health and Self-Reflection: Prioritizing Well-being

Timestamp: 52:50 – 53:00

Both Caleb and Trixie reflect on the importance of mental health and self-care. Trixie emphasizes her journey toward valuing her well-being over the pressures of performance.

Trixie Mattel ([52:50]): "It was sick to sit down here in a wig and not enjoy it."

Caleb supports this sentiment, reinforcing the message that taking care of oneself is paramount.

---

7. Contemporary Art: Opinions on Jeff Koons and Banksy

Timestamp: 60:00 – 63:50

The conversation takes a brief detour into the realm of contemporary art. Both hosts share their candid opinions on prominent artists like Jeff Koons and Banksy.

Trixie Mattel ([60:10]): "I have almost no connection to the world of visual arts. I didn't enjoy art classes in high school."

Caleb Hearon ([62:56]): "I don't like his stuff. He makes me mad."

They discuss the subjective nature of art appreciation and personal tastes, highlighting their differing perspectives.

---

8. Parenting and Relationships: Aspirations and Realities

Timestamp: 45:00 – 48:50

Trixie and Caleb delve into discussions about the desire to have children, the realities of adoption, and the complexities of familial relationships.

Trixie Mattel ([45:26]): "I really want kids."

Caleb Hearon ([50:03]): "If my mom was like, I want to go on tour and watch every one of your shows, that would be my nightmare."

They explore the challenges of balancing personal aspirations with societal and familial expectations.

---

9. Current Projects and Future Plans: Music and Fundraisers

Timestamp: 71:32 – 71:50

Towards the episode's end, Trixie shares her excitement about upcoming projects, including DJing for a fundraiser in San Diego and collaborating with Cyndi Lauper. She also discusses her renewed passion for music production, highlighting her experimental approach to creating new sounds.

Trixie Mattel ([36:03]): "I'm writing a bunch of new music. I'm getting more into musical production."

Caleb echoes support for these endeavors, emphasizing the importance of pursuing one's passions.

---

10. Final Reflections: The Essence of Connection

Timestamp: 70:03 – 71:58

In their closing remarks, both hosts underscore the fleeting nature of life and the paramount importance of authentic human connections. Trixie advocates for valuing relationships over material possessions, while Caleb emphasizes the joy of genuine interaction.

Trixie Mattel ([70:16]): "People are here and gone... Make time for people. Your mom, call your brother you don't talk to."

Caleb Hearon ([71:12]): "You and I having fun today is the reason we're here. These people are watching not because of the incredible quality microphones and lighting, but because you and I are connecting."

They leave listeners with a poignant reminder to cherish relationships and prioritize meaningful interactions.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Mental Health Struggles:

  Trixie Mattel ([12:07]): "I've never been so thin and unhappy in my life."

• Voting in Drag:

  Trixie Mattel ([24:39]): "I'm gonna go vote."

• Authenticity in Performances:

  Trixie Mattel ([52:50]): "It was sick to sit down here in a wig and not enjoy it."

• Valuing Connections:

  Trixie Mattel ([70:16]): "People are here and gone... Make time for people."

  Caleb Hearon ([71:12]): "You and I having fun today is the reason we're here."

---

Conclusion

"So True with Caleb Hearon" featuring Trixie Mattel offers a profound exploration of the artist's journey through personal struggles, mental health challenges, and the quest for authenticity in the demanding world of drag. Through candid conversations and heartfelt reflections, Caleb and Trixie provide listeners with an intimate glimpse into the complexities of balancing a public persona with personal well-being. The episode serves as an inspiring reminder of the importance of self-care, genuine connections, and staying true to one's passions.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

That's bombas.com wondery code wondery. This message comes from Greenlight. Ready to start talking to your kids about financial literacy? Meet Greenlight, the debit card and money app that teaches kids and teens how to earn, save, spend wisely, and invest with your guardrails in place. With Greenlight, you can send money to kids instantly, set up chores automate allowance, and keep an eye on your kids spending with real time notifications. Join millions of parents and kids building healthy financial habits together on Greenlight. Sign up for greenlight [e-mail] wondery that's greenlight.com wondery I like my hair.

[B]

I think I'm beautiful, but if my hair goes, I'm like, that's okay.

[A]

If you sit here in front of me and tell me that you think you're bald one more time, I said.

[B]

I might go someday. I'm not. You know, I don't have. Obviously.

[A]

Obviously what? You know what? I always do this. I always. If people shit with the bag of makeup and I go, just start. Just start. You know, I saw the clip. Cause I was off social media for three months. But I did see the clip of you telling, I think, Mateo Lane that I'm the only one who's asked for the money. By the way, that doesn't speak weird to me.

[B]

No, you. You are right.

[A]

Somebody else needs to know what their fucking money's doing.

[B]

They need to buy their business.

[A]

Rocket money. No, I do use rocket money.

[B]

Where do you.

[A]

The thing is, something you know about me is I am that bitch who sells out and promotes shit. But I use the shit. Yeah, I cooked breakfast this morning. I made gorgeous eggs and potatoes, you know, a fresh rosemary from the garden. Do you know why I know how to do that? Green Chef.

[B]

No, I'm dead serious. You're using Green Chef.

[A]

No, I did Green Chef for so long that now I just know how to cook.

[B]

Yeah. Fresh rosemary from the garden.

[A]

Well, I have the garden.

[B]

You have the garden. Where?

[A]

In the pit Yard in the yard. In the pit yard. I'm homesteading in Los Angeles. You're gardening.

[B]

You're gardening in la.

[A]

I came to Los Angele, baby. I use darling daisy. Get it? Trixiecosmetics.com. if I look at the makeup bag, this is not.

[B]

That's pathetic. Isn't that horrible? That's pathetic.

[A]

Isn't that horrible?

[B]

I hate that you have that in here.

[A]

I don't think I see, you know, Norvina, James, Charles. I don't think I see the other.

[B]

Makeup moguls being like a fucking hefty Ziploc freezer bag. Hey, how many times have you used that?

[A]

Well, this just got recycled. This used to be a bag for face wash and stuff, and now it's this. Look, it has holes in it.

[B]

I can see it, hon. It's not. It's not very glam at all. You got makeup on my couch, girl.

[A]

No, your couch? This is Muna's couch. I've seen them here, okay? I've been here.

[B]

They rent it from me.

[A]

Yes. Is this okay?

[B]

You look gorgeous.

[A]

I just wanna remind. I love this. This is not my product, but I got this RuPaul shirt from her pride collection. And I think it's like so fucking cute. Don't you think?

[B]

Yes, yes, it's very cute.

[A]

She's God.

[B]

RuPaul.

[A]

She's God.

[B]

You know, I've never met her.

[A]

Well, have you ever worked with her?

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay, well, you will. You will.

[B]

I'm trying to ru.

[A]

She's always somewhere and I just. I am obsessed with her. I'm not like the other drag race queens where I think she's my best friend. I know I don't really know her, right? And so I worship from afar I'm obsessed with her.

[B]

Well, she's got that. What is that? The World of Wonder thing? They were doing comedy specials for a second. Do you ever see those?

[A]

No.

[B]

World of Wonder did like some 15 minute, 30 minute comedy specials or something.

[A]

No, the only thing I've watched on the wow. Network. I still. I definitely still have it. I obviously would watch Ohm when it came out. And then I watched Fashion Photo Review sometimes.

[B]

What's that?

[A]

The Roger and Raven toot and Boot. You don't know about that?

[B]

Pardon? Sometimes when you talk to me, girl, I'm like. You say. You put words in an order that I'm like, what the. What the fuck are we talking about?

[A]

Listen, we're in Silver Lake, we're not in Egypt. I know you know what I'm talking about.

[B]

The Ra'shan ran on Tutin. Boot.

[A]

No, Rajan, Raven. The drag queens, they have a show called Fashion Photo Review where they review the looks on the Runway of RuPaul's Drag Race and they decide whether they toot the look or boot the look.

[B]

Okay, that's cute.

[A]

Just like a lot of people who are in the know, know what it is.

[B]

No, I'm certainly. I know that I'm not in the know. I know that I'm the one on the outs here.

[A]

That's tough.

[B]

It is tough for me. Where the hell have you been, girl?

[A]

Just been on break. I've been on. It's. Let me tell you, it's been horny.

[B]

Horny.

[A]

Very horny. I was really. You know, I started first week of July and I. My last little gigs and then I just dipped and didn't really do any drag or spend any time in Los Angeles. For three months, I spent completely off social media, off emails. Once a week I had a 30 minute zoom with managers to say, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, and that's it. I watched cnn, played my guitar, did watercolor, went for walks, rode my bike. Went to Planet Fitness, didn't I? Did. I was. I was Amish. I think Amish people go to Planet Fitness.

[B]

Amish, Amish people are not cnn. They're not in Planet Fitness, baby.

[A]

You know, I've been watching a lot of the news.

[B]

Why? Well, because I can't believe you went on a break and watched the news the whole time.

[A]

Well, every day I would make my little breakfast and I watch the news because when you're phone, when you're not on socials, it's just people you barely care about saying, how are you? Mm, sounds horrible.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But no, like when I first went on the break, it's like everyone I had sex with once was like, babe, what's up, girl?

[B]

I didn't check in. I didn't want to know. I was worried about it.

[A]

We had sex twice.

[B]

Yeah, exactly correct.

[A]

No essay warning. We didn't have sex.

[B]

We did not. We did not have sex. I keep trying. Yeah, I'm hitting you up. You sending me pictures of you on hiatus holding a gun and shit? Everything I heard from you during your hiatus was deeply concerning.

[A]

Well, I spent a lot of my break in the south and we had BB guns. Not real guns. BB guns.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

In our backyard. Shooted a Diet Coke can. See what happens.

[B]

Yeah. At one point you called me a couple weeks ago and you said, there's a sound you made once in a video. That I love. Can you make it for me really quick?

[A]

Well, can I tell you what that was?

[B]

Sure.

[A]

My friend Becca was visiting me. Becca loves you. She listens to your pod every week. And she was thrilled when I was on this the last time. And she said she loved your Twitter during the COVID And then she said that you. You said something about Cher or so I don't know what you did. You made some sound that she loved. And I thought, what if I just fuck her up? I said, oh, let's hear it. And I called you and I thought she was driving and she was like. And then it hung up and I talked to on the phone. She loves you. Her name is Becca. You haven't said hi to her.

[B]

Becca. Hey, girl. Well, I'm learning in this moment that you used me like a wind up toy for your friends, for your friend's enjoyment. Here, I think we're checking in.

[A]

What do you think it's like to be a drag queen? Every time someone's birth, someone's like, I know you're not on Cameo, but if I'm not on cameo, do you think it means that I want to make free videos?

[B]

Cameo needs to be shut down, girl. We need to shut Cameo down.

[A]

Cameo is my like match.com boyfriend who won't quit every two weeks, then get an email from them being like, hey, yes. The thing is, I like Cameo. I've received them from Amanda Lepore and I loved it. I've received them. And when you get them, it's thrilling. If you love the person. It's awesome. Yeah, it's awesome. I got one from Tammy Slayton from Thousand Pound Sisters. Oh, yeah.

[B]

I didn't know she was on there.

[A]

They gasp over the room over here.

[B]

They were very thrilled about that.

[A]

Yeah. And she. I will say I loved it. I loved getting it. She was a little fat.

[B]

No. Did she lose the weight before the video? What did she do?

[A]

It's still called A Thousand Pound Sister. So what do you think?

[B]

Okay, so she's still big. One of them got.

[A]

Do you think every season they change the name? They weigh them again and change the name?

[B]

They're gonna have to. Didn't one of them lose a bunch of weight?

[A]

Well, they're, they're. They're both on weight loss journeys. One of them has lost a lot of weight. Now she's removed the trachea and the tracheotomy. She's removed the trach tube.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Tammy. And she, she now is. Has a girlfriend.

[B]

A lesbian.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, I love lesbians.

[A]

Listen, I love those girls. That show is great. I think. Yeah. I think the level of vulnerability, to talk about that level body stuff and family dynamic stuff and put it on TV takes a lot of bravery. Sure. And, you know, on tv, after five seasons, usually you get to renegotiate. You're like, you know, if you're on Friends, you get like a percent raise every year, and you can't renegotiate. And they just started season six, and I literally, during my break, would go to bed and be like, dear God, can we please make sure Tammy and Amy renegotiate and put the knife in TLC and Twist, because I want those bitches moving. I want those bitches in a palace. I want them to do well. I just think, honestly, in some ways, you watch the show because it's like, wow, this is wild. You know? But in some ways, it's like, no, that's fucking cool. I mean, look, they've lost weight. They put their family dynamics on tv. One of them lost a partner.

[B]

Which one's the blue hair?

[A]

One of them's boyfriend died.

[B]

Okay, which one's blue hair?

[A]

Well, that's Amy.

[B]

Amy.

[A]

Amy Slayton. Yep. And I got my cameo from Tammy, and it was thrilling. She said. She said, I heard you're going on break. It's good to take time to take care of yourself. And, you know, I gotta tell this. I gotta tell this to Katya, too. You work every day of your life in drag, and people are like, here she goes again. Miss Thing. If you take time off. Oh, my God, you are Princess Diana. You are. The BBC put out an article that was like, struggling Drag Race Star Takes a Step back. But the picture was, like, me in full drag at Pride DJing, looking like, really? And I was like, I could have given you a more downtrodden photo.

[B]

Call me.

[A]

Yeah, call me, call me. I have so many pictures of me on the phone, of me and, like, just a wig cap, which, by the way, why is a bald person wearing a wig cap?

[B]

Right? Yeah.

[A]

But I'm also wearing fake boobs. So what are we doing?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If I can pretend to have titties, can I pretend to have hair?

[B]

I think so. I would like to send them some of the pictures you sent me. I would like to do that.

[A]

What I like is when the drag queens get the units. The units installed the glue on male wigs, and then they put a wig cap on and put on the drag wig.

[B]

Hold on. What happens?

[A]

It's a wigiotomy. So they get the men's unit.

[B]

Yeah. Okay. Men's unit. Now. What is that?

[A]

So, okay, so people who don't have your gorgeous hair, by the way. Beautiful hair, by the way. Can I just touch a little bit.

[B]

Of it, by the way? Come on now.

[A]

It's so thick and glossy. Beautiful.

[B]

I've told you explicitly not to flirt with me on this show. And you keep. And you keep going back into flirting territory. Knock it off.

[A]

I'm sorry. So the drag queens, either they go to turkey, okay, and they get.

[B]

Oh, they're getting transplants.

[A]

They get the full transplant, or they go down to the clinic and they grow out the side hair, they shave the top, and they get the toupee custom made and glued on.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Which is fine.

[B]

Does that withstand, like, water sports and wind and stuff?

[A]

Yeah, they say you can shower in it and everything.

[B]

Whoa. Okay.

[A]

But you have to get it reinstalled every few weeks because obviously your. Some hair does grow back under the piece every few weeks even. You got to go in and get it redone.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

But you got to get haircuts, too.

[B]

I know, but just. I think I would. When there's glue involved, I think I would just go, I'll probably go bald someday. And I think I'll just go, how old are you? I am turning 30 in 100 days.

[A]

I don't think you're gonna go bald.

[B]

It's pushing back a little bit on the sides. I can see it. For me.

[A]

Is that hard for you?

[B]

No, no, because you know why I. Because growing up fat, I was never attached to the idea of being, like, traditionally handsome anyway, so I learned, like, a lot of other things about myself. And now if I like my hair, I think I'm beautiful, but if my hair goes, I'm like, that's okay.

[A]

If you sit here in front of me and tell me that you think you're bald one more fucking time.

[B]

I said I might go someday. I'm not, you know, I don't have. Obviously.

[A]

Obviously what? Well, you know, when I went on break, I was 167 pounds. My depression weight. I've never been so thin and unhappy in my life. And then now I'm back up to almost 190.

[B]

You look great.

[A]

And everyone's like, you look happy. You look healthy. Fena Barbital, you know, she's lost a lot of weight, so now she's a toxic, skinny person. It's amazing when somebody really big gets small. They're like, everyone here is really big.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

She's zipping the corset. She goes, when's the last time you wore this?

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

Is that horrible?

[B]

You look happy and healthy. Coded. That's coded.

[A]

Thank you. Thank you.

[B]

You're looking happy. You look jolly healthy. You look jolly.

[A]

Your cheeks look full.

[B]

You're looking rosy. Yeah.

[A]

I don't know. But here we are, you know, and you're back now.

[B]

You're back from the break.

[A]

Yeah, it's been awful. I filmed the last well. I filmed the last well. I got in drag for real and filmed. I was filming with Netflix Monday and Tuesday after Katie and I show. I like to watch. We filmed yesterday and the day before, and I forgot about getting in drag for, you know, getting up at 7 to get in drag and still being in drag at 4 or 5pm Jesus. I forgot how I was like, ugh. And the front of the. At the top of the day is, you know, we sit on couches like this, and we're all like. We're two queens who like to watch. Let's watch the show. And by the end, the corset, I'm like, the corset. The skeleton locks.

[B]

The.

[A]

You know, the stiffening. Right.

[B]

Stiff woman syndrome. Yeah.

[A]

The right arm. The right arm is all. Oh, all the signs of a heart attack are starting.

[B]

Really.

[A]

The arm is numb from the corset. The speech is slurring. You're on your sixth Red Bull. You're squinting under your one good eye trying to watch a Netflix program like.

[B]

Get rid of the Red Bull. Don't drink that stuff.

[A]

Who gonna jack me?

[B]

Boo me right now, presently, I'm telling you to stop. It's bad. Trixie, people drink alcohol and they probably shouldn't right now.

[A]

What about the vodka Rebel? That's the death wish, right?

[B]

Vodka Red Bul is a death wish? Yes.

[A]

When you do alcohol, what do you do?

[B]

I drink, like, once a year and I really go at it. Once a year. You'll see me on an Instagram story and go, it's the night, capital T, capital N. And I'll go deep on Jack and Coke's and vodka crayons like I'm 20 years old. Yeah. I'll go back and forth.

[A]

That's what you don't want to do.

[B]

Jack and Coke, vodka crayon.

[A]

You want to pick one thing and do that thing.

[B]

You know what? Two years ago, I got so drunk off Jack and Cokes and vodka crayons at 4100 Bar, worst bar in America, that I walked down this street in Silver Lake and fell into a bush and stayed there. For a little while. I had to stay there for a little while.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

I fell into a bush, and I said, I'm gonna be here for a minute. And I stayed in the bush, and I called some friends. They said, where are you? I said, bush, I'm in the bush on the street. And I stayed there for a bit.

[A]

Well, you know, you're a tall person, right? If you're blackout drunk, you're gonna need to call help. I did, right?

[B]

I did.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Someone came and got me.

[A]

Who?

[B]

I think it was my friend Sam.

[A]

Made up?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Made up.

[B]

Yeah. Of course.

[A]

You slept all night.

[B]

Yeah, I slept in the bush.

[A]

Yeah. Well, I quit drinking for, like, two years, and I started again during the break. I do like it. Okay, but you do get hungover, and that's the bummer.

[B]

Yeah, it's not worth it.

[A]

That's the hard thing. That's the hard thing.

[B]

It's not worth it. What were you drinking during the break?

[A]

Sometimes I do wine. Well, it's summer. I get into the margaritas, the mojitos. I asked my rheumatologist can I drink alcohol? And they said, you can have two glasses a day. Two drinks a day. And I said, well, I'm gay and I'm on vacation. And she was like, we'll just keep checking your blood work.

[B]

Great.

[A]

You let me know when I'm about to die. Yeah, thank you.

[B]

I'll check in.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You weren't doing bourbon?

[A]

No, I decided that diarrhea is not for me.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Well, I did a little bit of the bourbon. Because I was in Kentucky, I did a little bit of the bourbon, but, you know, you can kind of do a splash there. I went to the horse races, the Kentucky horse races in Keeneland.

[B]

Do you wear a big hat?

[A]

Yeah, I wore a hat. And you had to wear a suit. Cause I was in the club, Right? You know, in the club. The song Body in the Club, you know that song? It was like that. It's your birthday. We're drinking a party like it's your birthday, Right. You know, we don't give a fuck because it's your birthday party in the club. You know, 50 Cent, Curtis Jackson. Do you know what I'm talking about? Am I a delusional? Okay, thank you.

[B]

No, I know what you're talking about.

[A]

You're like, what's drag race? What's in the club? Quit this. Quit this.

[B]

I know what you're talking about, but it's the way you presented it. You go, I'm in the club. In the club. That song, it's your birthday. That's how you served it to me.

[A]

Well, I went there and can I just say, it was really nice. Like I've. We don't have horse racing in California or Wisconsin, anywhere else I've been. So I was like, this is a cultural thing where horses are racing for sport. People are betting. This is crazy that this exists. Right. I've only seen it at the casino when they have the fake plastic horses run. You know what I mean?

[B]

Right on the little tracks.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. And so watching the real horses run, I was like, this is crazy. You know, the jockeys are £110. Cause the jockeys who ride those notch to have tiny.

[B]

Yeah, they're three foot one.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I wasn't quite prepared for the level of generational Caucasian wealth at the function. The blondness, the MAGA hats. It's weird to see a mega hat in general to me, although I was at the farmer's market on Hollywood Boulevard on Sunday and I saw a person I know, or used to know who used to come to my shows and they had a mega hat on and I waved. And as they turned and I saw the red hat, it was like. It was so weird. It's so weird. By the way, I am voting and I'm voting for Kamala, if anybody cares.

[B]

You're voting for Kamala?

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

I didn't know you voted.

[A]

Of course I'm gonna vote. I'm voting in Wisconsin.

[B]

Oh, good. Thank you.

[A]

Cause I have my business in two houses there, so it counts.

[B]

It counts, right? I've just voted in Missouri.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Which will do nothing for Kamala, but I did vote for her. What's up, guys? It's me, Caleb. November 23rd in Kansas City. Waxahachie and I are co hosting a bunch of our friends, comedians and musicians at the Midland. We are doing a benefit show called Yeehaw. To benefit the tenants union. Tara's episode is out and she talked a bunch about the tenant union. But please, please, please. If you live in Kansas City or nearby Omaha, come on down. Chicago, come on down. November 23rd at the Midland. We're doing a show to benefit the tenant union that we're so excited about. Me, Waxahachie, a bunch of other fun people that we'll announce. But yes, please come. You know that feeling when your favorite brand really gets you deliver that feeling to your customers every time. Memorable moments like these are key to building your business and your brand. Klaviyo turns your customer data into real time connections. Across AI powered email, SMS and more. Making every moment count so you can.

[A]

Continue to build smarter, more meaningful relationships with your customers.

[B]

Build smarter digital relationships with your customers and make every moment count with Klaviyo. Learn more at K L A v.

[A]

I y o.com bfcm Think scaling AI is hard? Think again. With Watson X, you can deploy AI across any environment. Above the clouds, helping pilots navigate flight and on lots of clouds, helping employees automate tasks on prem so designers can access proprietary data and on the edge so remote bank tellers can assist customers. WatsonX works anywhere so you can scale AI everywhere. Learn more@ IBM.com WatsonX IBM let's create I'm in a vote. I'm gonna vote. Well, I always vote and sometimes voting lands on a day where I'm filming. One time in la, I voted in drag on the way to set.

[B]

That's so fucking chic.

[A]

It wasn't.

[B]

I would kill to see that.

[A]

My voting place was at an elementary school, so I'm Trixie.

[B]

You're just what they're talking about, girl.

[A]

So I'm on the way to set, I'm in full drag. I'm in like this shitty, you know, my look, shitty 60s dress, shitty blonde wig. I have a pink parasol and I'm like, here we go. I go in, I show my id, which means nothing at that point.

[B]

Did you take the parasol into the voting location?

[A]

Of course. Okay, well, I'm not going to be seeing the sun, right?

[B]

Of course.

[A]

I show my ID of another person, Right? Right. Don't look like that. Sure. Right. That could have been voter fraud. It wasn't, right? Could have been voter fraud, wasn't it?

[B]

Could have been voter fraud.

[A]

They said it couldn't be done and it was huge.

[B]

Yours is good. I like this.

[A]

Been watching cnn?

[B]

Yeah. You've been studying.

[A]

Well, you know, the day after I left the Internet for three months, the day after Donald Trump got shot in the air.

[B]

God, where were you?

[A]

I was on the phone. I was like, I'm not going to watch Twitter. I guess I'll just keep watching the news.

[B]

I was in London. There was a party.

[A]

That's your alibi, huh?

[B]

There was a party at the pub.

[A]

Yeah, there's a party at the pub.

[B]

There's a party at the pub. Then Donald Trump's been shot.

[A]

Yeah. So I'm at this. I'm at the school voting because I.

[B]

Was like, they're partying at the pub.

[A]

They're partying, they're racing the horses, they're drinking the Bourbon.

[B]

They love that. I got shot in London. In London.

[A]

I was in London and I got shot when I was there. And you know who wasn't? Kamala.

[B]

You're just kind of giving Trump on barbiturates.

[A]

And I'm obviously not a fan of his work, but unfortunately, watching the news so much, I see his fucking ass every day now.

[B]

So, you know, it just sucks that he's one of. He really is. Don't want him to win, obviously. I have a really specific plan for what I'd like to see happen to him quickly that I won't go into, but he is really funny.

[A]

Let's take a break.

[B]

Let's take a break.

[A]

Just let's make sure that Caleb said that and not me. Greg.

[B]

Yes. Yeah, it was me. Not you.

[A]

You're gonna get chapel roamed like that. It's over.

[B]

Just so I'm clear, you went to the horse races in Kentucky and were surprised to see rich white people?

[A]

No, no, no, no. Well, I'd never been. I knew nothing about it, okay. So I knew I had to wear a suit because it was in the clubhouse. And by the way, I'm in the club. In the club. I love Curtis 50 Cent Jackson. Yeah, right. So he's so funny. I watch on late night shows. He's always such a funny guest. No, he's a charmer because he's so rich and so his stories are always so crazy. Of wild things he's done with his money. And he always wears a three piece suit. I think he's so handsome. I love him. And he's probably not a fan of me, but that's okay.

[B]

We don't know that.

[A]

We don't know.

[B]

We don't know.

[A]

And I went there and it was like just real brazen, real brazen. Young 21 year old men in maga hats. Yeah, the young, young people in maga hats is so when it's like your. Someone's grandpa, it's like, oh, fucking old, you know, old white people. Whatever, idiots, whatever, you know? Yeah, but it's young people. It's just like so sad.

[B]

It is.

[A]

God, you're. You got flowered and dipped in the bra, the broth, and deep fried in the racism and the bigotry and the rich, the wealth. Money has padded every part of you. You understand nothing about people who need any. But then, you know, it's not just about money. I went to my hometown, Wosaukee, Wisconsin just a couple weeks ago where everybody probably lives way below poverty line, right? And I saw more Trump Signs than I've ever seen in my life. Yeah, I saw Trump signs bigger than people's houses.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They lived in trailers. And the Trump sign is the size of a. You know, And I was just like, wow, you think that this person is creating policies for you poor people in rural Wisconsin? You think he's looking out for you?

[B]

It's really nuts. It's not happening. It's like, I can't. Why did this guy. The craziest part of his whole thing to me is that he was able to capture poor people. Because when I grew up poor in Missouri, we hated rich people. It was like a thing. Like, we all would be like, oh, my God, that guy. If you even drove, like, a Cadillac. We were like, kind of fuck you. You know? And then they all went for this guy who was like, the quintessential rich guy. I was like, oh, okay. I didn't think we were doing that.

[A]

It's wacky. But when I. When I had to vote in drag, I remember walking in and I was like, I'm gonna boat, and I'm not gonna miss it just because I have to work.

[B]

Yeah, right.

[A]

That's not an excuse. Not boat.

[B]

We can have it all.

[A]

So I'm gonna go. And then everyone's like, yeah, girl, make a statement. I was like, I'm just busy. Yeah, this isn't. This isn't. Like. This is. Just give me the. Let me get out of the elementary school and drag.

[B]

There's a team. There's a TMZ article. Downtrodden Drag queen casts vote in dress.

[A]

And I. You know, I've turned a full corner on kids. I used to hate kids, and I've turned a complete corner on kids because adults aren't that great. No, think about it.

[B]

Worse.

[A]

Even adults aren't that great.

[B]

I'm saying, would you ever have kids?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah, absolutely. I was in Provincetown this summer. I went. Cause of course you were. During my break, because I used to do summer residencies there at the Post office Cabaret. So I went to see friends and hang out with my past coworkers. And I saw these two gay guys with kids, and I was looking at them with their kids, and I was like, God, that's so cool. It's like, wow, you have kids? And I said, I really want kids. And they recognized me, and they were like, so, what's your plan? I said for you to look the other way.

[B]

For you to look the other way.

[A]

For you to get a little. And then I was at made up. Do you know What? Do you know what Dave and Buster's is?

[B]

Of course I know what Dave and Buster. I know what main event is as well.

[A]

Okay. So I was at main event, which is like Dave and Busters a little nicer.

[B]

Nicer. Main event, A little nicer. It's a little. Main event. It's cleaner. Main event.

[A]

It's a little cleaner. And there was a woman there. It was like 11:00 at night. I was there playing pool because I played a lot of pool on my break.

[B]

Me and you were on very similar journeys, you and I. I played pool.

[A]

Every day for probably three months. Yeah, for like two hours a day. I loved it.

[B]

You any good?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I like to go to the straight establishments and what do you call it? Pretend to be bad and then take their money.

[B]

Oh, hustle.

[A]

In front of their little girlfriends.

[B]

Yeah, their little girlfriends.

[A]

I was in Milwaukee playing and I played against this, like, straight guy, and he was in front of his girlfriend and I was playing and he turns around and goes, oh, he lied. He's good. And I was like, no, you're bad.

[B]

Yeah. Are you code switching or are you being like, what's up, brother? Well, how are you interacting with these dudes at the pool hall?

[A]

I'm. It's directing traffic, you know, I don't say much. I'm like, it's a TikTok dance. I point at the table, you're pointing and you're like, yeah, yeah, totally cute.

[B]

So, no, you're not code switching.

[A]

No, I mean, I think I. Do you think I'm really gay?

[B]

Do I think you're really gay?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Is the sun gonna rise tomorrow?

[A]

Damn.

[B]

Does a bear shit in the woods? Do I think you're really gay? What are we talking about? You started this interview putting on makeup and then you finish it off with a cheetah print hat. Yes. I think you're really gay. Trixie Mattel, famous drag queen. Do I think you're really gay?

[A]

I just mean. And let me say this too. What I realized on my break. What I realized on my break. By the way, the mental health did improve. You know, obviously it didn't, but. No, obviously. No, it did. I'm so happy. I feel great. And I feel very appreciative of the gift of being able to be Trixie more than I ever was. Yeah, more than I ever was.

[B]

We're grateful that you're doing Trixie.

[A]

It's. I just. It's awesome. Three months without it. I would. The first month, I was like, oh, my God, should I just run? This is awesome. Networking is awesome. And then by, like, month three, I was like, I really miss doing drag and performing and talking and all that. And, like, talking on camera.

[B]

You know, the vow of silence.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm glad you're doing Trixie. You. I will say, I hope. I hope that in post break Trixie World, you will do less.

[A]

Yeah, everybody wants me to do less.

[B]

I do.

[A]

We're sick of seeing it. I do think because all my content is on YouTube, if you watch one of my videos I got you for 18 years. 18 years. On the 18th birthday, you find out it wasn't his. Like, because YouTube will think you want to see everything I ever do.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So if you watch one makeup video of me accidentally, because it's on autoplay every day for the rest of your life, I'm, like, hooked.

[B]

Hook nsynced.

[A]

No. Even if you don't want to watch it, YouTube thinks that you want to watch me.

[B]

Yeah, well, people mostly do. That's why we're here. That's why you are as big as you are. People mostly do want to watch you because you're hilarious and compelling.

[A]

Well, a lot of some things came out while I was gone, which, like, I think Pit stop was still on when I left. And then English Teacher came out when I was mia, so it was fun to have stuff come out while I just didn't. I was just get texting from friends. Like, watch your thing.

[B]

Did you get to do scenes with Brian in English Teacher? Is that what.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Isn't he the funniest?

[A]

So funny. I've been a fan of his for.

[B]

A long time, and that show's doing great.

[A]

It's so funny. Like, he's so funny. I've been a fan of his since Caleb Gallo, and then I watched him on Will and Grace, and, like, I love how his little characters are. The Snapchat filters.

[B]

Yes. I'm so proud of him. He's been working really hard for a long time, and this show feels like the embodiment of the thing he was trying to do. I'm really excited for him.

[A]

It's really funny. I mean, the show, basically, it's like the teachers and the parents are like, you know, their views are way like, ooh, don't say that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then the students are so woke. It's like this tug of war he's in as the teacher, which is like the infighting about political correctness of nothing, which I think in a school setting is like, a great arena for that, because it's like, age gaps and, you know, and I got to play. What I loved about it is now when drag queens are on tv, the role we get is like, love yourself. You're fierce diva. It's the magical gay person who helps everyone. And I don't know anyone like that.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Gay people are monsters who are out for themselves.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

Most of all, you drag queens are mentally ill whores, uneducated drug addicts. Like, all this, like, all this, like, we're here shit is propaganda. Ain't nobody helping anybody. Drag queens aren't helping anybody. Come on. Drag queens can't even help themselves. You know what I mean? So I say that as I have an assistant, but.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. A team of six people who, like, carried your stuff in here.

[A]

Hello. But in the show, I was like. He was like, oh, your characters. My character's trying to. Brian was like, my character's trying to prove to the school body that, like, not all drag queens are creeps. And you're gonna help us put on a part of a football game where you help the jocks learn how to do drag to do a good job. I was like, love that. He's like, but you end up being kind of a kleptomaniac, and you're, like, vaping, and, you know. I was like, love.

[B]

Yeah. Sounds about right.

[A]

Because that's real. If you let a drag queen into a high school, what do you think would happen?

[B]

Theft, Theft? Theft. Bare minimum Murder. Yeah. Murder. Stealing money, Hurting people.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Have you ever hurt someone physically?

[A]

I'm not, like, a fighter.

[B]

You're not a fighter? No.

[A]

If you. I've been mugged. I lay down and take the punches until they're gone. I don't even fight back.

[B]

You got mugged.

[A]

Oh, yeah, I know.

[B]

What'd you do?

[A]

I got carjacked.

[B]

You got carjacked?

[A]

Mm. By the way, I'm getting my license again. It's gonna be huge. It's gonna be huge.

[B]

Do you have a Kamala? Do you have a Kamala at all? You're watching a lot of cnn.

[A]

Hey. Oh, Kamala. This is bad. It's bad. It's not good, right? Kamala Harris. It's not good either. None of it's good.

[B]

My fight or flight is triggered so hard right now. Like, I am so prepared to get out of this studio.

[A]

Well, you've heard the Cher.

[B]

Oh, I'm Kamala Harris.

[A]

Yeah, she's on a pill too. They're all on pills. When I do it, they're all. I don't know what well, you know, my. My Cher's worse, you know.

[B]

That's not your Cher.

[A]

Yes, it is. I'm gonna vote, bitch. It's crazy, Trixie. Crazy.

[B]

All this cnn and this is what you brought to me.

[A]

I'm Kamala Harris. I don't know what that.

[B]

Actually, I will say on that last one there was a bit.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you. So you lost me again.

[A]

It's Michael Jackson a little bit.

[B]

And it is also giving Evil Elmo. Yeah. It's not giving the laugh is where you're getting off base, girl.

[A]

The other thing I'm trying to do is I'm a bird person. I love parrots. And why are you. I'm just talking about myself here.

[B]

Just the. It's the. I'm trying. I love. I love your mind. And I'm trying to go where you go. Cause we were on license.

[A]

Oh, right. Okay. You're asking if I hurt someone. Oh, I killed someone with my car. Just kidding.

[B]

Yeah. You're getting your license again. And you love parrots. I'm locked in. You're weaving. It's called the weave.

[A]

It's called the weave.

[B]

It's called the weave. And I'm doing it beautifully.

[A]

I'm doing it beautifully. Couldn't be done. I really wanna get a parrot again because I loved having parrots. Before Drag Race, I had a parrot and I loved it and it died right before I got on Drag Race, which is kind of a blessing because I don't know what I would have done traveling the world with a bird. Yeah, right. But, you know, now that I want a better work life balance, I want to reengage with. You know, parrots are not like dogs or cats.

[B]

Right.

[A]

They're the third most popular pet, but they're the first most rehomed because they're demanding, they're emotional, they're super smart. A lot of these birds are as smart as toddlers and they live 75 years. So you have a 75 year old toddler who can fly and has razors for a mouth, you know, like, it's a crazy animal to have.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But they're beautiful creatures and I think they're amazing. And I was at this bird store in Burbank the other day called Birds plus, and I was looking at different birds and they have a lot of people's birds being boarded, you know, because birds have to be taken care of. Like they have to be fed every day. It's not like a cat. We just, I don't know, throw dead fish on the ground and leave I don't know what you do. I don't like cats. But this person's umbrella cockatoo was in the cage, and they obviously are smart, and they look you in the eye and talk. And this person's bird was going, I love you. I love you. And I was going, I love you, too. And then I would walk away and the bird would go, la, la la la, la, la, la, la, la, la. It was so crazy.

[B]

I don't like that.

[A]

There was something about it that was like, oh, this bird has killed before and will kill again.

[B]

Don't check your watch right now.

[A]

I turned the sound off.

[B]

Nice. I. What you described to me was like a horror movie.

[A]

I loved it.

[B]

Yeah. Okay. Are you gonna get one?

[A]

Well, then there was, like, I was at this bird store in Kentucky, and it was called, like, Amazing Pets or something. Just some, you know, bird name, right?

[B]

It's not Birds Plus.

[A]

That's for goddamn Birds Plus Disc. There's one place in California called Discount Birds, which. I don't like that name. No, I don't like that.

[B]

No, that's not nice.

[A]

You know, Like, I don't like that. Everyone matters. Every bird matters, right? No bird left behind.

[B]

Oh, my God, she's running, right? Oh, my God, she's running.

[A]

They're eating the birds. They're eating the birds.

[B]

It's getting a little more sober.

[A]

It's getting worse.

[B]

It's getting soberer.

[A]

And I don't know. I was at that. And there was a cockatoo. Cockatoos are so crazy and scary because they're all white and they have big black eyes, and they are so emo and emotional and scary. And this one was in a cardboard box, and he was walking out of the box and then looking at me and then slowly backing back into the box. That's like, come in here, bitch.

[B]

You need that bird.

[A]

And the energy of these birds sometime is, I won't hurt you.

[B]

Yeah, it's all giving scary, Trixie.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you talk saying, I love you back to the bird really, genuinely caused some concern for me.

[A]

Well, I read this book called the Family Crucible, and they said that we in relationships try to play out family dynamics that we saw when we were younger. So what does it say? That I, like, want to get close to something that's like, I won't hurt you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I'm going to.

[B]

What does it say? What do you think?

[A]

Well, I'm opening for Cyndi Lauper.

[B]

What?

[A]

In November.

[B]

Where?

[A]

San Francisco and palm springs. I'm DJing before Cyndi Lauper's show. If anybody wants to come, I might.

[B]

November in Palm Springs.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Who's to say what I might do? I might swing by and swim by.

[A]

The Trixie Motel and have a drink, have a go and have a pint.

[B]

Who's that?

[A]

That's just Scotland.

[B]

You.

[A]

All of it. It's all of it. Do you like David Pitt?

[B]

You're an incredible actor. Actually. I really embodied that character just now.

[A]

Well, you know, when I did English teacher, I said, you know, Brian, I only know how to really be Trixie. I don't know how to, like, do. And I only know how to do theater acting, which is like me and a wig screaming, you know? He was like, basically, for this show, for this character, he's like, don't play any of the jokes. Just read the line and throw it away. And the more you downplay it, the funnier on camera it will be. And I was like, that sounds crazy. But he was right.

[B]

That's great advice.

[A]

I've never done TV acting or anything. My assistant has and stuff. And. And I was like, how do you. He was like, well, the camera reads everything. He said the camera. If you just think of something, the camera will read you thinking it. Like, you don't have to play concerned. Think about being concerned about that. And the camera will read. I'm like, that's weird and crazy.

[B]

It's just. It's stripping it all down from the stage back to, like, very small, basic stuff. Cause you have to telegraph everything on the stage.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Which you're so used to, but you, like, you know, if you're upset on stage, you have to fucking throw your arms. But if you're upset in the show, you can just. Just let it be in the face because the camera will get all of it.

[A]

I think acting is really crazy.

[B]

It is really crazy.

[A]

Do you ever get drunk on the fake wine?

[B]

Pardon?

[A]

Do you remember when lady. Do you remember that, like, actors. Like Roundup, where all these female actresses were like. Remember, they were all talking about acting? And Gaga was like, does anybody else get drunk when you like, does anybody else feel drunk when you drink the prop wine? And all the other actresses had to act like that was normal at all to say, I don't remember that. Oh, it was literally like Kirsten Dunst, like. Like.

[B]

K. Like, no, hun. No, no, I'm not getting drunk off the prop line.

[A]

Did you watch the Joker program?

[B]

You swore a. The Joker program.

[A]

The program.

[B]

The new Lady Gaga Joker program.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I didn't see it. Did You?

[A]

No, Because I didn't see the first Joker.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But I love comic book and I love D.C. and I love Batman, but I didn't watch the first Joker because remember the. Remember the type of person that loved that first movie?

[B]

Of course I do.

[A]

I was like, I'm going to hate this.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But now I've heard that they hate the second one, so I'm like, I'm.

[B]

You might love the second one because that Gaga shit.

[A]

Line it up. I will follow that bitch to space.

[B]

I love her.

[A]

I think we are alive at the same time as. You know, there's people that we're just lucky to be alive at the same time as.

[B]

Name them.

[A]

Her.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Missy Elliot.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Obviously. Beyonce.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You.

[B]

Thank you. Finally.

[A]

Honestly, Ru Ru. And there's a lot of them, like, Devo. I think we're all lucky to be alive. Well, I guess they're kind of like they were lucky to be alive. Although they're all alive. But honestly, people.

[B]

What do you mean they were lucky to be alive?

[A]

Well, I don't know if all those members of the band are still alive.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So I can't say.

[B]

Right. I'm just happy to be on the list.

[A]

Dolly.

[B]

Of course. Dolly. Of course. Dolly.

[A]

You know Serena Williams.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Greatest of all time.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

My God.

[B]

By the way, you swore up and down before this, before we got on mic, that you were going to ask me some questions about me. And this whole time I've just been asking you about the driver's license and it's your second time on the show. Trixie. Things are got to evolve a little bit.

[A]

Well, who would you add to that list? Like, you think we're lucky to be alive at the best. The best of the. You don't do that.

[B]

You. I mean it. You. Oh, God. Natalie Maines, lead singer of the Chicks.

[A]

Girl.

[B]

Girl.

[A]

Girl, you want to talk?

[B]

Oh, my gosh, I do want to talk.

[A]

I listen to that music a lot during the break.

[B]

Oh, good. Fly.

[A]

No, no, they're new. Shit.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Gaslighter.

[A]

Yeah, girl. Gaslighter. How do you sleep at night? That shit. Oh. Taking the long way, Taking the long way, Taking the long way around. They are so amazing. And obviously I don't have to tell you what happened to them was insane.

[B]

You don't have to tell me about it. Have you ever seen Shut up and sing?

[A]

Of course.

[B]

Thank you. God, you're so real. And this is. I've been saying you're real and everyone's been pushing back on me. Trixie's not real. Trixie's fake. Trixie's fake. Everyone I've ever talked to, but I say Trixie is real.

[A]

Everyone also thinks I'm Bill Gates, so financially, yeah.

[B]

They think you're.

[A]

No, they really do.

[B]

They think you're a billionaire.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Well, you're not doing bad.

[A]

Well, last time I was here, I made $50.

[B]

Well, you did, I guess. I remember I did end up paying you. Yeah, I remember you asking, but now I'm remembering that I also did pay you.

[A]

That was my first Apple pay. Was it like somebody sending Apple cash? Aw. I was wondering where I got that money from the other day, because it's still in there.

[B]

So you needed it badly. Then you took it from me and you didn't even use it.

[A]

Well, I'm saving it.

[B]

Oh, that's so special.

[A]

Oh, I lost a lot of money at those horse races, by the way.

[B]

Did you?

[A]

I don't know why people are gambling. I grew up just off the reservation where, like, if any, like, my mom worked at a casino, my stepdad works at a casino. So I think people who work at casinos are like, what the fuck are these people doing?

[B]

Yeah, come here.

[A]

Just throw your money away. I don't think I'll ever do that again.

[B]

Why did you bet on. Did you bet on horses? How did you choose?

[A]

Well, I just picked names that were compelling to me.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Like, one of them was named. One of them was. One of them was named, like, Blue. I don't know. I was just whatever in the moment spoke to me. Cause the horses have crazy names.

[B]

They do.

[A]

They're not like Ralph and Stephanie. And they're not like. They're not like. And they're not like Seabiscuit and Rocket. The horses names are like, love is a battlefield.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The horses names are like, the truth will set you free. They're like whole sentences.

[B]

For sure. Ralph and Stephanie would be fun horse names.

[A]

I also went to a horse farm to see where these retired superstars athlete horses go. Where they get retired and then they get studded out, which is where they get prostituted.

[B]

Right.

[A]

For their semen to inseminate.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And some of these star superstar athlete horses. Let's say you had a horse and you wanted this famous horse to impregnate. Guess how much it is, minimum.

[B]

Okay. I want to get my horse pregnant with a famous champion horse. It's going to cost me. And they're doing everything.

[A]

They're inseminating, all that stuff and as a guaranteed baby. So it's not just Once. They will. If it doesn't take, you do it.

[B]

Again until it takes. I'm gonna pay 500,000 for that.

[A]

That's. That's. I think, crazy, but it was closer. Like 250. Okay, so thanks for kind of ruining that.

[B]

Sorry. You just built it up in a way that. Oh, horse names.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Do you see what I'm saying?

[B]

Catching.

[A]

Freedom, Honor, Marie, Resilience, Grand Mo. The first epic ride.

[B]

Who would you bet on of these?

[A]

See that? Well, fierceness.

[B]

Right.

[A]

See, sometimes I just wait for a name. You know, the first four races, I won money, and then I started getting drunk and confident.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So then I started being like, hmm, well, and then putting more money down, and then it was like, oh, shit, I lost $200 that race.

[B]

You lost $200? Cause you bet on domestic product.

[A]

Well, I bought and. Well, then, you know, I'm lifelong vegetarian. I started to think ethically, like, do I align with this? Do these horses like this? I don't know. I don't know. But I at least got to experience it.

[B]

I would say they probably don't.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because they're working, right? You're on hiatus. They're at work. This is their drag.

[A]

Well, they're probably watching my YouTube videos.

[B]

They probably are. Everyone is.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, it just got served to them, and now it's like, everyone. It's in the lineup now.

[A]

Well, we had guests on the YouTube channel while it was gone, which was nice. Other drag queens came in and did YouTube videos.

[B]

Yeah. I didn't get asked to participate.

[A]

Well, you don't do drag. Mad. Mad at me that you don't do drag.

[B]

Put me in drag, then.

[A]

What would you do if you were a drag queen? Does anybody ask, like, what would your. Because we were talking about this before the show. Not you, but love to sit home and watch, like, drag race or whatever and be like, if I was on that Runway, they could not take me.

[B]

I feel that way.

[A]

It's like, really? You can't brush hair.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You can't do makeup. You can't walk in heels. You can't dance. You can't tell the goddamn joke. You can't. What would you do if you got out there? I'm not saying you just like the proverbial. What would you do? Go to an amateur show and you'll see what that would do. That will put on an Akira jumpsuit and whatever song is currently on the radio that they like. And they walk in a fucking circle.

[B]

Do you know they walk in circle? You know what I Would do. I would do. I would dress like the horse from stepmom with Julia Roberts and Susan Strandon.

[A]

She has cancer.

[B]

She has cancer. I would dress like the cancer horse and I would do a routine as the cancer horse from stepmom. That's the kind of shit I'd be doing. Did we. Was it last episode with Trixie that we talked about my two drag names, Caleb Baron and Caleb Baron. So there's okay. K. Lebaron, one drag name for me or Kayla Barron. So it's like, do I want to go classy? Do I want to go trashy? What do you think?

[A]

I like Barron.

[B]

Well, it sounds like Caleb Herron.

[A]

No, I get that.

[B]

So do you get.

[A]

Do you understand Baron, like, can't have kids.

[B]

Yeah. Okay. Do you want me to do Baron like that? Yeah.

[A]

Caleb Barron.

[B]

Caleb Barron.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's kind of fun.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I play a Barron woman who, like, all she wanted was kids, but she can't have them.

[A]

Do you want kids?

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

I think they're fun.

[B]

I think they're fun too.

[A]

And I feel really good about adopting.

[B]

I think we would be good at raising kids together, you and me.

[A]

This is moving fast. Yeah, this is moving really fast.

[B]

Well, stop flirting with me and we won't move fast.

[A]

And I think I've been talking to a lot of celebrity people about, like, they have kids. And I go, how do you do that? How do you have kids? And they all go, well, just patience and time, and you have to want it. Oh, we also have three nannies.

[B]

Exactly. Correct the help.

[A]

And I have I from a culture where nobody had a nanny. Right, right. We couldn't afford nannies. Right, right. You just spin the, you know, mobile above the crib and leave the kids at home. Whatever. But I just feel like if I had a kid, I would really try not to have help because why would I. Adopting. Adopting costs what, $250,000? Might as well get fucked by the horse. You know what I mean? Like, but it costs $250,000, and then what? I'm gonna pay someone else to take care of it.

[B]

Does adopting cost $250,000?

[A]

Oh, like 200. Yeah.

[B]

Does it?

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

I also love that you said, might as well get fucked by the horse. Like, that doesn't. Wouldn't get you a kid still, like you. There's nothing. There's nothing in that that would get you what you want.

[A]

I get something I want.

[B]

Nice. Nice. I like that.

[A]

God.

[B]

What do you. I have to ask you this. Overall, 40,000 to 70,000 for domestic infant adoption in California.

[A]

I don't believe that. I don't believe that.

[B]

Well, that's from American Adoptions of California dot com.

[A]

A friend.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's a fucking front.

[B]

That's a front for big adoption. They get you in for 70, and then they fleece you for the other 130.

[A]

Yeah. I don't know. I guess it's also. Okay. Part of me thinks you adopt, right? And then part of me thinks. I guess if you want to produce a child, too, there's a lot of ways to do that.

[B]

I'm going. Surrogate.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I'm going. I'm, like, asking a friend, like, will you carry. Will you take my seed and will you carry my child? That's what I'm asking.

[A]

Someone just went ugh over there.

[B]

It was taking.

[A]

What's ugh about this?

[B]

Yeah. A beautiful gay man wanting to raise a family. My seed repulses you.

[A]

Do you feel strong about, like, proliferating your genes?

[B]

I. You know. No. But I am the last of. I am the last of my. Like, if I don't have kids, my name dies with me. Heron.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Like, I'm the last of my name. There's no other people to do it.

[A]

You think that no one in the.

[B]

World is named Harren in my family, in my bloodline.

[A]

Mm.

[B]

Now, do I actually care about that? No. But my dad did mention it to me a couple times before he died. Oh, he would. He would just. It would be really random. It would just be, like, literally, like, we'd be at dinner, and he'd be like, and don't forget, you're the last of our bloodline. And I'd be like, okay, that's fantastic. But, yeah, so that is. That's present in the mind.

[A]

That's tough. I mean, I don't. Parenting and having children is something that I don't even pretend to act like I know a thing about. I find it hard to be even critical of my own parents or mother or anything, because I'm like, I'm not going to act like I know.

[B]

Do you know my mom, Trixie? Do you know what my mom sent me the other day? I wonder what you'll think of this. My mom sent me this TikTok. She's on TikTok now. She sent me this TikTok. Have you on there?

[A]

Oh, yeah. She said, I wish she put some clothes on.

[B]

You're the only one. Her fans love it. She sent me a TikTok. That's like a sunset with words over it. And it's set to music. And it says, if my children come to me as adults and tell me they need to heal from something I did in their childhood, they won't be met with denial or the feeling of being dismissed. Instead, they'll hear, I'm sorry that I wasn't more careful with my own trauma, but it's okay to let it go now and hand it back to me.

[A]

Dang.

[B]

She sent me. She sent me that. No con. She sent me that. No context, middle of the day. And I said, love you. And she said, love you.

[A]

Well, the older I get, I feel what your mom's saying, because the older I get, the more I'm like, God, I'm 35. If I was my mom, I would have had, I think, four kids right now.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I don't know fucking anything.

[B]

You really don't.

[A]

So I think when we're kids, we think the adults know everything. And then you get their age and you're like, you don't know anything.

[B]

You're 35. Yeah. I didn't know that.

[A]

I just turned 35.

[B]

Happy birthday.

[A]

You thought I was older?

[B]

No, I don't think I thought of you as having an age. I think of you as very. You're just sort of timeless.

[A]

You thought I was older? Well, I got a text from my mom. I said, forgot to mention I'm on a new English teacher on FX that started today. I mean, a new show called English Teacher on FX that started today. And I sent a picture of me and Brian on the show. And Aunt Gooch said. My Aunt Gooch? She said, intriguing.

[B]

Well.

[A]

And my mom said, interesting.

[B]

Well, it is. And was that it?

[A]

That's it.

[B]

I love that.

[A]

That's all they said.

[B]

I love that you texted them.

[A]

Because if I'm not on. And they, you know, if I don't tell them exactly where it is and how to watch it, I can't be mad later that they didn't watch it.

[B]

Right. You care that they see your stuff, though?

[A]

I want to give them the opportunity.

[B]

Yeah. I think that's beautiful.

[A]

But they don't really care, and they don't think I'm funny or interesting, which I think is healthy.

[B]

I think it's good.

[A]

Like, I don't know. I don't. If my mom was like, I want to go on tour and watch every one of your shows, that would be my nightmare.

[B]

Yeah. We don't want her there every night.

[A]

No. The shit I say about her.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

About everything. About sex. Like, I don't. Nobody starts Doing drag for their mom?

[B]

No.

[A]

You know.

[B]

Well, maybe these days you never know.

[A]

Oh, well.

[B]

Sorry.

[A]

The girls. The girls are. Well, Kati and I are at the age now in drag where people are like, I started doing drag because I watched you in middle school.

[B]

How does that feel?

[A]

Horrible.

[B]

Yeah, Horrible. I can imagine. Yeah. I don't like the idea that you and Katya are molding the future, like, the youth.

[A]

Well, sometimes I hear shit that we've said on the shows parroted by someone who doesn't know who we are. They just heard that phrase through the world.

[B]

Yeah. Oh. And you're hearing them say it in a way that's like they're not telling it to.

[A]

They just heard it the world. And I'm like, they don't know that it came from my loins.

[B]

What? It's born of my seed.

[A]

Yeah. Born of my seed. I went to Cracker Barrel.

[B]

Okay. What'd you tell.

[A]

I heard you and Britney talk about it.

[B]

I love Cracker Barrel.

[A]

It was delicious.

[B]

Yeah, right.

[A]

It was a Sunday. There was lots of families. There probably were at church.

[B]

I'm gonna cry.

[A]

Lots of iPad kids, which always. I don't. I don't wanna say I'm Amish. I don't wanna say what I would do if I was a parent.

[B]

Right.

[A]

The iPad kid thing. Girl, get the off the tv.

[B]

Get the off the tv. I'm not watching that. Yeah, exactly.

[A]

Yes. Whatever happened to the burping? Whatever happened to. You know, what have happened to kids sitting bored? You know how much of my childhood.

[B]

What happened to the burping?

[A]

Do you know how much of my childhood I spent bored?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What if I've been bored?

[B]

I have a question for you.

[A]

What?

[B]

Are you gonna relax after this break now, do you think?

[A]

Yeah. Like, right now I work only every other week. Like, I just flat out during my break started blocking off whole months of the whole weeks of the calendar. And then next month, next summer, I'm probably taking off again. Three months.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah, girl. Drag is cute. It's not. It's not. It's not that serious. We're not heart surgeons. We're not gym kind of planes. My workaholism ran so deep and so crazy that I got so sick and lost so much weight and just cried all the time. And I was like, what are we doing? This is disrespectful to the art form. It's disrespectful to myself and, most importantly, the people that choose to watch me. It's sick to sit down here in A wig and not enjoy it. It's sick to cover up that you're tired and that you don't feel funny that day. And, like, it's. It's sad. It's sad. I started to feel like a Trixie impersonator. I put on the blonde wig and the little dress and go say the shit and go home and be like I felt nothing. That was sad, you know?

[B]

I do. Absolutely. I know.

[A]

And I don't ever want to do that again. So I think Trixie as an industrial complex, I'm okay to let that kind of go away. I mean, I used to be an artist, and I just felt like for the last couple years, I was like a product.

[B]

Are you feeling artistic again now?

[A]

Very much so, yeah. Very much so. I love to talk and do comedy. I play my guitar and sing all the time again. Getting ready for some DJ dates coming up and just not overworking.

[B]

What are you singing lately?

[A]

Well, I'm writing a bunch of new music. Cause on my break, I just had. I was Amish, so I just had my guitar and nothing to do. And I would just. I was writing, like a song a day.

[B]

Really.

[A]

It come out like a sneeze, Sit down and write it out, and then move on. Plus, I made this rule for myself where I'd be like, if you have a song idea, don't get up until it's done. And then because of DJing, I got a lot more into musical production. So this time around, writing the music, I know how to use my music production software so I can burn out demos with. My old way was very analog. I would just sit with the iPhone microphone and play the song and send it away to. What do you think of this? Should we make this? And now I just have a lot more fun experimenting, playing different music synthesizers. Also, DJing really scrambled my understanding of music in drag. Everything is a regurgitation and a reflection of culture and something else. And in DJing, everything's like collage. It's a bunch of sounds put together to make a new sound. And I think my approach to writing music, I've gotten less precious about. It doesn't have to be good, because good doesn't mean anything. Nothing about what we're doing as artists. Making something good means nothing. It means nothing because what is good? Everybody thinks something different is good. Your favorite song is someone else's least favorite song. Yeah, my least favorite song of all time is hey, Y'all by Outkast. People love that song.

[B]

Why do you hate it?

[A]

There's one Part of it that drives me nuts. The part where it's like, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right. I can't stand it.

[B]

You don't think it's kind of fun? All right, all right, all right, all right. Like that drove you crazy just now?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Damn. Damn. I hate to hear that. I think that's a. I think that's a great song. So your point is well taken.

[A]

That's what I'm saying. I know that there's something wrong with me for not liking that song.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I know that. That's just a weird. I find that thing weirdly annoying.

[B]

Yeah, that's okay.

[A]

And so do you think that outkast thinks that song is not good? Because I don't think it's good. Of course not. It doesn't matter.

[B]

Do you think. Do you think Outcast would like playing that song? Do you like, do. Okay.

[A]

I bet he has a black. I bet live people.

[B]

I bet it's nuts.

[A]

I do like that part of the song. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. That little thing. I like that.

[B]

What part of the song is that? I don't think I know it.

[A]

It's like a little toy piano part in the background. It came out when I think was in high school, so I remember, like, hearing it just all the time.

[B]

I was really, really addicted when I was younger to their song Roses. Your roses really smell.

[A]

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

[B]

I like that song.

[A]

When I was a kid, I remember reading an interview with the Spice Girls, and all the Spice Girls had to answer, what song is their least favorite song? And I remember Victoria Beckham, Posh Spice saying that she hated the B52's love shack.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

And I remember being like, I didn't think anyone hated this song. And that's like a lifelong thing of, like, wow. Some people just hate something that other people love.

[B]

Yeah, go ahead.

[A]

One of my other big ones is, did you know 27 record labels passed on Joan Jets? I love rock and roll. Cause they said it wasn't a hit.

[B]

Damn. Did you know that Walt Disney was fired from his first job at a newspaper because he lacked creativity and Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team?

[A]

I love shit like that. I love shit like that.

[B]

I do. I actually unironically do, too. Are you following Horse Mafia?

[A]

No.

[B]

You gotta get on Horse Mafia. You gotta get on Horse Mafia. On Instagram, they're posting shit every day.

[A]

Is it about horses, honey?

[B]

In some ways, yes, but no, it's like, they'll post, like, every single. Every single day. They make, like, seven posts, custom posts a day. And they'll be like, shit like this. Grown means nothing as a mother, a child. As a child, they get bigger, older. But grown in a mother's heart, each will always be her baby. Or they'll post like, happy Wednesday. Time to get up and have a coffee and say our prayers. Buy me a daily one.

[A]

Do you follow that guy who's, like, a corporate guy? He's like, hey, guys, today's this one.

[B]

Go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back, go back. My prayer for this Wednesday is that my family and friends stay safe, happy, and healthy. And it's got a little. What do you think of that?

[A]

I'm going back on break.

[B]

Okay. Okay.

[A]

I follow this guy. Well, I don't know what his name is. Cause he always shows up on my feed. And because he says he's, like, a corporate guy. And he'll be like, hey, guys, today's the day. Go in, hustle. Give it 110%.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. I know this guy. The face is what did it. Yeah.

[A]

He's got, like, spiky dark hair and really spacey little teeth.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I just. I can't help but love the energy because it's, like, so misplaced.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That level of enthusiasm for corporate life, I think is wild.

[B]

It is wild.

[A]

But honestly, he's going to work and excited about it. He's got to figure it out.

[B]

He's got to get it. You got to get it up one way or another.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

One way or another, it's got to get up.

[A]

Hey, guys, today's the day. Go in, give it 110%, and then Trump it.

[B]

And then would you do Trump.

[A]

No, wait, wait, wait, wait. No.

[B]

What was that starting as? What are you guys doing here? That's what it was going into.

[A]

They gave it 110%. They said it couldn't be done.

[B]

Yeah. You love that it was done.

[A]

And it was huge.

[B]

You love. You love. Huge. And you love. They said it couldn't be done those years.

[A]

It was great. Everything about it was great. Even better than China.

[B]

Yeah, you're good.

[A]

It's not good.

[B]

It is.

[A]

And I hate that I've consumed enough content by way of watching the news that I know about this, that.

[B]

What's your favorite Trump moment of all time?

[A]

I don't. I just. I don't have one.

[B]

I do. I do. It's been. I've said before.

[A]

He said that he participated in a Peaceful transfer of power last time.

[B]

Yeah. Pretty cool.

[A]

Love delusion. Cuz he did love fantasy.

[B]

Pretty cool.

[A]

I love storytelling. When he says like that, it's like we're watching an animated just made up fantasy situation.

[B]

I love when you sing.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

I do. My favorite is when he told the photographers at his and Kim Jong Un's meeting, make us look thin and handsome. He told the press pool with Kim Jong Un to make them look thin and handsome. That's. I'm sorry, but that's awesome.

[A]

It's so. Make me look handsome, bitch. You look like you have barbecue sauce on your face. What are you talking about?

[B]

Kim Jong Un was literally like. Couldn't believe. Even Kim Jong Un was like, this guy's nuts.

[A]

Should we leave?

[B]

Should we leave? Should we get out of here? Hey, we got a voicemail. Put those headphones on. I beg of you.

[A]

Okay, Sorry.

[B]

You got a pair over there.

[A]

And by the way, I probably sound overtly political. I just think it's important to tell people that I'm voting, that's all.

[B]

No, I like that you're voting. I like that you're voting for Kamala. I did as well.

[A]

Hell yeah.

[B]

I already voted.

[A]

Hell yeah.

[B]

Did I tell you that?

[A]

Well, it's not the perfect candidate. Really? Bitch, if you were outside and you were freezing, which is our situation right now, would you not put on the winter coat? Because it wasn't the one you wanted, right? Put the winter coat on, bitch.

[B]

You're real as fuck.

[A]

Star wars cut open the animal, crawl inside. Oh, does that happen in Star Wars?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, but I don't know if it feels.

[A]

I've never seen it.

[B]

It's fun to talk to you in these. Wait, what's the voicemail? Hi, Caleb.

[A]

So true and esteemed guest.

[B]

Thanks for just being y'all. I have a question about contemporary art mostly.

[A]

What is it?

[B]

Who is Jeff Koons?

[A]

Who is Banksy?

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

Where do NFTs fall within all of this?

[B]

I don't understand it. So if y'all could shed some light, that would be super great. Thanks again.

[A]

Love you.

[B]

Bye, sweetie. Well, love their energy. You know Jeff Koontz.

[A]

I do not know what you're talking about. I don't know what any of this says.

[B]

Jeff Koontz is that. I almost put artist in quotes, which is. Would be mean. But Jeff Koontz is the guy who made like the sculpture of the balloon animal dog.

[A]

Oh, they sell it at the airport.

[B]

He does those things they sell at the airport. Yeah, yeah, this Jeff Koons. I Don't like his stuff. I don't like it. He makes me mad. I don't like the bunnies. I don't like his stuff. I don't like his stuff. I don't like his stuff. I don't think he's. I don't think he's fun. I don't like it. I fucking hate that. I hate Jeff Koons. Like, I don't like his stuff. Like, and you look at him too. He's like, oh, God. I just don't like him. I'm sorry. I. There's. I'm a hater about.

[A]

Show me that yellow picture. He looks pump. Tina Aguilera. Is he an F word? He's gotta be right.

[B]

There's no chance he's not right.

[A]

Girl.

[B]

City girl. And he's the chancellor. He's the chancellor of city. A gay guy to his. Yeah. I just don't like his work. What do you think? Are you. Is it moving you?

[A]

You know, honestly, one of my worst traits is that I have almost no connection to the world of visual arts. I didn't enjoy art classes in high school. I don't like going to art museums. It just does not stimulate me. So, like, gun to my head, I could not tell you what art is, good or bad. I don't know.

[B]

I'm not interested in good or bad. I do think art should evoke. I mean, you know, his art does evoke emotion in me. It pisses me off.

[A]

Can I say that in art? I like when people play with scale. I like giant things that usually are small and small things that are usually giant. I love. I just sit the Milwaukee. The Milwaukee Discovery World, and they have a tiny version of Milwaukee. I love like, a tiny version of a city.

[B]

And I walk over it sometimes. They'll put those in, like, a glass floor, and you can walk on top of the small city. Wouldn't that be fun, though? I've been to one of those.

[A]

Didn't get to do that. But then I also love when it's a small thing they make. Giant.

[B]

Yeah. You ever been to the world's largest rocking chair?

[A]

No.

[B]

A lot of fun. It's big.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

It's big. It's way bigger than you'd think.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

It's way bigger than you'd think. Illinois. Is it in Illinois?

[A]

I bet it's huge.

[B]

Oh, it's massive. You're gonna go into it thinking, like, oh, it's a rocking chair, but it's big, honey. It's bigger than you even think.

[A]

Yeah. I Don't really care for that. Yeah. And Banksy, I mean, my only response to that is, I've seen the video of someone buying the art, and then the second the art gets purchased, it shreds itself. Do you know about that? Yeah, I think that's cool.

[B]

I think that is pretty cool.

[A]

I think it's funny to take people's money and then do this.

[B]

Yeah. Banksy in general feels a little like 2012. What are we doing? But that is pretty cool. I like making someone waste a bunch of money. I think that's funny.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, it's like when makeup brands have mystery boxes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Here's your brown lip balm or whatever, you know, like, I don't. Whatever they're putting in there. Random shit. You don't know what it is.

[B]

You're gonna do. 1.

[A]

You know, I hate to be a hater, because I bet in some of these mystery boxes, you do get great shit.

[B]

Yeah. Well, it's like when you go to the thrift shop and they. Or the. Like, a clothes sale, and they're like, oh, here's just random mystery bag in your size.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like, big butt will do that sometimes.

[A]

I don't know if I would like that. I don't want to miss makeup mystery box, and I don't want a clothing mystery box. I'd rather just have less, but know what I'm gonna get.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Same with. That's why I have a problem with gambling. You're going to throw away money because you might get money.

[B]

You just did that.

[A]

But I wanted to experience the culture.

[B]

It was a cultural thing.

[A]

Yeah. And I went in with $400 cash, and I had enough to drink and then go home, so I don't know.

[B]

That's pretty beautiful.

[A]

It was fine. I liked it. And I would go, like, once a year for the culture of it.

[B]

What's something you've loved recently?

[A]

Oh, my gosh. Well, the Gypsy Rose Blanchard Life After Lockup show. Oh, was that awesome.

[B]

She has a reality show.

[A]

Yeah. So it starts with, literally, the cameras following her getting out of jail and going to buy shoes because she's leaving jail with no belongings.

[B]

Do you know how connected I am to her? She did have that murder in the town where I went to college, and then she was locked up at the women's prison that my mom used to work at in my hometown. Yeah, I'm very connected.

[A]

I love Love is Blind.

[B]

I've never seen it.

[A]

Okay. Love is Blind is awesome. It's a show where they have. It would Be like me and you dating. And there is a wall between me and we cannot see each other. And so we have to fall in love just based on our voices.

[B]

Would not like that.

[A]

You cannot say what you look like, cannot say how tall you are, what you weigh, your ethnicity, how long. You cannot say, I have long hair. You cannot say anything. It is just. What are your beliefs? Do you want children with your sense of humor, the sound of your voice? It is an experiment to see whether or not people can fall in love without there may be proclivity for their usual type getting in the way. Yeah, because a lot of times they fall in love being like, I would have never talked to you in a bar.

[B]

They.

[A]

I love you.

[B]

They do. Do you think they're genuinely falling in love?

[A]

Multiple people a season get married.

[B]

Well, wait. Oh, you know, we have.

[A]

I'm gonna win more money.

[B]

Trixie, I'm gonna ask you. I'm gonna tell you. Okay, I'm gonna tell you 15 statements. You're gonna tell me as quickly as you can if you think they're true or false.

[A]

Do you know why I win this?

[B]

Why?

[A]

Because I'm, you know, I'm like part, part psychic. And by part, I mean whole thing.

[B]

What?

[A]

I'm dead serious. Very intuitive.

[B]

I think you're intuitive, but you're not a whole psychic, I don't think.

[A]

What part?

[B]

What?

[A]

Well, if not whole, then how much?

[B]

How much psychic? I would say maybe if you. I think you do have really strong intuition. I think you're somebody who knows the world and pays attention. I would say if I were. Make that a percentage psychic. Maybe you're like 25% psychic.

[A]

Do you think if I work with the FBI, I could find a dead body?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I do, too. I'm dead serious.

[B]

You'd be good in a mindhunter situation.

[A]

Yeah. Let's say someone was murdered and this was their cup of coffee. I think I could be like, they're in Sarasota, Florida.

[B]

Right. So that I don't believe.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

That's where I would cut you off.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And I would say you're. I would say maybe if we had a little bit more evidence, you would get there.

[A]

Okay, you're hurt when you die. I guess I'm just not gonna find you.

[B]

No, don't say that. What if they need your help?

[A]

Okay, I'll find you.

[B]

Nice. I'm gonna tell you 15 statements. You're gonna tell me as quick as you can if you think they're true or false. If you get 10 or more correct you're gonna get US$50. You're the only person who's ever asked for the money.

[A]

Why is that, like, so crazy? I just think it's all these other people are ballin. I don't need $50.

[B]

Every single one of them has less money than you. Okay, here we go.

[A]

My uber to birds. Plus the other day was $33 there and back. So $66 to look at birds that say I love you.

[B]

And you were talking back to them, which I do want to talk about off camera. Okay. Human teeth are the only body part that can't heal themselves.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

True. The Green Bay packers won the first Super Bowl.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

True. Baby rabbits are called cubs.

[A]

Not true.

[B]

False. Kits. The longest time between twins being born was 90 days.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

That's true. Ken Doll's full name is Ken Richard Dalloway.

[A]

Not true.

[B]

False. Kenneth Sean Carson. The airplane was invented in Kitty Hawk, South Carolina.

[A]

False.

[B]

It's false. It's North Carolina. The Spanish national anthem has no lyrics.

[A]

True.

[B]

It's true.

[A]

All. You can all doubt me in my powerful mind. All of you sat here. All of you. Wait, is there more left?

[B]

Oh, there's so many more left. There's so many more left. Facebook is older than Timothy Chalamet.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

That's false. The pride. Pride begets a major downfall. That is so. You were on a roll. The current city manager for Palm Springs, California is Scott Styles.

[A]

True.

[B]

True. Will Frell's character on the office was named D'Angelo Knightwood.

[A]

No, it's D'Angelo Vicker.

[B]

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. You're correct. Dolly Parton is the youngest of 12 children.

[A]

She is false.

[B]

She's the fourth child. Owls can fly up to 90 miles per hour.

[A]

That is not true.

[B]

It's true. She's the fourth of the 12.

[A]

I'm talking about the owls.

[B]

What? Oh, false. Yeah, you're right. 40 miles per hour. The comic book superhero Storm is a member of the Justice League.

[A]

No, just. Just. Justice League is dc. Right? And she's Marvel. Oh, it's false.

[B]

False. It's X Men. There's no letter Q in any US State. Name.

[A]

Is there a time limit?

[B]

Why would this be the one? Why would this be the one that.

[A]

Cuz. I feel like that moment dropped her. Gorgeous. She's like Alabama, A L, A B, a M, A. I think that's true.

[B]

It's true. Over 80% of Earth's oceans are totally unexplored.

[A]

Oh, yeah. The deep part.

[B]

True.

[A]

True.

[B]

Thirteen.

[A]

Wow. Every one of you.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Can sit over there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Has anybody ever. No one's been better than me. I was the greatest that ever lived.

[B]

Let's see if I got. I might have 50 right here. Let's see what we got in here.

[A]

Has anybody ever done better than that? I don't think, but I get one wrong, two wrong.

[B]

Here. You need to find me $10 later, babe.

[A]

I'm going to find your body when you're dead. Cause I know. Shit. Oh, I. Shit. I got. I'm moving up. I got 60 this time.

[B]

You owe me $10, Trixie girl. And don't check your phone right now.

[A]

No. I'm gonna try to do the apple payback to you.

[B]

Oh, that's really cute. Let's do it. Oh, I love that for us. Is there anything else you want to tell people? Oh, you still need to. Okay, well, it's different because you're our first repeat get guest. You're our first repeat guest ever.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What's so true to you right now?

[A]

Oh, my gosh. You know? Oh, my gosh. I'm gonna tell you. Money's just money.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Work is just work.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Items are just items. Literally, people are, like, here and gone.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

People are here and gone.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Here and gone. And I think it's so true that nobody's ever on their deathbed. Like, I wish I'd worked more.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Make time for people. Your mom call, your brother you don't talk to. Try to make a better relationship with your roommate. Try to heal your relationship at work with your coworker you hate. Just, like, be nice and make time for people and be sweet.

[B]

You're on some wholesome love shit lately.

[A]

Yeah. Because none of this. None of this shit matters. That light doesn't matter. This couch doesn't matter. But, like, you and I having fun today is the reason we're here.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

These people are watching not because of the incredible quality microphones and lighting, but because you and I are connecting. And that's, like, fun and magical. They feel like they're part of it.

[B]

It absolutely is. I'm on the same thing. I really just want to connect and have fun and be my joy. I'm, like, trying to have joy. That's it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's all I want.

[A]

You can have it.

[B]

You can have it, too. I literally love you to death.

[A]

I love you. I'm so happy to be here. Please have me back again.

[B]

I'll have you back. What are you doing tomorrow?

[A]

Oh, gosh. I gotta do pod stuff. With Katya tomorrow. I'm actually going to do it with her later today. Yeah, she and I have some pre taping to do tomorrow and then San Diego on Friday. I'm DJing for a fundraiser in San Diego.

[B]

Is there. Do you want to tell people where to find you?

[A]

I'm pretty much everywhere. At Trixiemattel and on YouTube. Rixie and what? I would invite you all. When does this come out?

[B]

Probably the next couple weeks. Like, two, three weeks.

[A]

Oh, great. It's a little early, but our holiday collection at Trixie Cosmetics this year is so cute. Y'all are going to die. And it's really giftable items, so check it out.

[B]

Hell, yeah. I love it. I love you. Thanks for being here.

[A]

Thank you all. Goodbye.

[B]

What do you know?

[A]

That was a hit gum podcast.