I Don’t Chase Stages — I Build Them (How I Keep Getting Booked to Speak)

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Social Media Decoded

Episode: “I Don’t Chase Stages — I Build Them (How I Keep Getting Booked to Speak)”

Host: Michelle Thames
Date: February 18, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this episode, marketing expert Michelle Thames unpacks her unique approach to becoming a sought-after public speaker. Rather than waiting for invitations or chasing high-profile stages, Michelle shares how she consistently builds her own “rooms” — from small gatherings and panels to intimate meetups — creating authority, networking opportunities, and credibility on her own terms. The episode is packed with actionable steps, strategic insight, and motivation for entrepreneurs, creators, and business owners wanting to level up their visibility and speaking engagements.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Building Your Own Stages vs. Chasing Opportunities

• Michelle sets the tone by debunking the myth that frequent speaking opportunities are about luck or being discovered.
  • “I’m not lucky and I’m not chasing stages. I build them. That’s the difference.” (01:38)
• Instead of waiting for opportunities, Michelle actively creates spaces — both physical and virtual — to gather people, share ideas, and build her reputation.

The Power of Hosting

• Hosting events like Coffee and ChatGPT and Coffee and Connections goes far beyond casual socializing.
  • “It’s not just a cute meetup, it’s infrastructure.” (02:18)
• By creating the room, Michelle becomes credible and a thought leader: “When you convene, you become credible. When you gather smart people around a conversation, you automatically become a thought leader in that space.” (02:25)
• Practical Takeaway: Don't wait to be invited — identify ways to initiate and host your own gatherings, no matter how small.

Warming the Room: Pre-Networking Strategy

• Michelle emphasizes intentional ecosystem building by connecting with attendees before events.
  • “I don’t like walking into rooms cold. I like to warm the room before I step on the stage. That is strategy.” (03:01)
• Advantage: Ensures her voice, energy, and perspective are familiar to the audience, making her stage presence more impactful.
  • “When people know your voice, your perspective, your energy, before the event even happens, your authority multiplies.” (03:17)

Ecosystem of Opportunities: Strategic Event Stacking

• Michelle explains how she aligns the events she participates in—panels, career days, networking calls—with her brand ecosystem: community, corporate, entrepreneurship, education.
  • “Every room must align with the ecosystem that I am building. Community. Corporate. Entrepreneurship. Education.” (04:08)
• Panels as Positioning: Sitting alongside other leaders is less about performance and more about association and borrowing/lending credibility.
  • “Panels aren’t about performance. They’re about association capital.” (03:59)
  • “When you’re seated next to other leaders, you borrow credibility and you lend credibility. Your proximity expands your positioning.” (04:01)

Big vs. Small Stages: The Hidden Value

• Michelle shares her speaking experience at a Chicago Public Schools Career Day and reframes the value of smaller, less glamorous stages.
  • “Speaking at Career Day does three things: it strengthens your message, it builds community roots, it expands your narrative beyond quote unquote online business...” (04:36)
• Impact: Demonstrates authority not just by follower count, but by the ability to inspire and educate in different spheres.

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The “Build Your Own Stage” Framework

Michelle delivers a step-by-step system for creating your own visibility and authority:

1. Build your own stage
   • Host small gatherings and conversations; don’t wait to be chosen.
   • “Host small gatherings, host conversations, host rooms, warm rooms before you enter them.” (05:22)
2. Pre-network and connect
   • Make strategic connections before events so audiences are primed for your message.
3. Stack rooms strategically
   • Select events (community, corporate, education) that reinforce your brand ecosystem.
   • “Stacking rooms strategically.” (05:41)
4. Stay consistent
   • Compound your authority with ongoing, regular appearances and engagement.
   • “Authority compounds. This is not overnight. This is ecosystem building.” (05:49)
5. Be inevitable, not famous
   • “I don’t want to be famous. I want to be inevitable.” (05:53)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Being Proactive:
  • “If you’re waiting for someone to, quote, unquote, discover you and invite you to speak, you’re playing a very slow game. I don’t wait to be picked. I create rooms. Stop begging for invitations.” (01:46)
• On Hosting:
  • “You don’t need a stage, you need a room. And when you consistently build rooms, stages start finding you.” (02:34)
• On Ecosystem Building:
  • “If you keep waiting for permission, you will stay waiting. If you start convening, you will become the obvious one.” (06:05)
• On Legacy:
  • “I don’t want to be famous. I want to be inevitable.” (05:53)

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Important Timestamps

• 01:30 – Michelle introduces the idea of building your own “stages”
• 02:18 – Hosting as infrastructure, not just socializing
• 03:01 – “Warming the room” pre-networking strategy
• 03:59 – Panels as “association capital,” not just about performance
• 04:36 – The impact and strategy behind speaking at Career Day
• 05:22 – Michelle’s actionable “Build Your Own Stage” framework
• 05:53 – “I don’t want to be famous. I want to be inevitable.”
• 06:05 – Key takeaway: Stop waiting for permission; start convening

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Final Thoughts & Call to Action

Michelle closes with practical ways listeners can put her advice into action—whether by attending one of her events or by connecting with her on Instagram about upcoming opportunities.

Quote:
“If you’re ready to build your own rooms, come and see me at Coffee and ChatGPT or one of my other events.” (06:26)

She encourages listeners to:

• Share the episode with someone who needs it
• Subscribe and never miss an episode
• Connect directly for event updates

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This episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to ditch passive strategies and become the architect of their own professional visibility—on their own terms.

Transcript

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Welcome back to social media Decoded. It's your girl Michelle Thames here and. Okay, let's talk about something people keep asking me lately, how are you getting booked to speak so much? I got career day this week. I got the Power Table panel today, an ERG panel next week, speaking at the Power Table Live in April, hosting Coffee and ChatGPT next week, hosting networking calls and all. I need you to understand. And I need you to understand something. I'm not lucky and I'm not chasing stages. I build them. That's the difference. If you're waiting for someone to, quote, unquote, discover you and invite you to speak, you're playing a very slow game. I don't wait to be picked. I create rooms. Stop begging for invitations. Now, most entrepreneurs who want to speak do this. They update their bio. They say they're a speaker. They DM event hosts. They hope someone notices. That's passive positioning. And I don't build passive businesses. Instead, I ask, where can I gather people? That's why I like hosting things like coffee and chatgpt and my coffee and connections. It's not just a cute meetup, it's infrastructure. When you convene, you become credible. When you gather smart people around a conversation, you automatically become a thought leader in that space. You don't need a stage, you need a room. And when you consistently build rooms, stages start finding you. Warm the room before you enter it. Now here's something most people don't think about. Tuesday I did a pre Networking call with PowerTable Live. Why? Because I don't like walking into rooms cold. I like to warm the room before I step on the stage. That is strategy. When people know your voice, your perspective, your energy, before the event even happens, your authority multiplies. So when I sit on this panel today, I'm not introducing myself from scratch. There's context. That's intentional ecosystem building. Let me pause here for a second. If you've been thinking about building authority but you keep waiting for someone to invite you somewhere, this is your sign. Or on 27 February, if you are local to Chicago, I am hosting Coffee and ChatGPT in Homewood. This is exactly what I mean by building your own stage. It's not a giant conference. It's not overproduced. It is just intentional. We will be talking about AI visibility, backend systems, and how solopreneurs can leverage tools without losing their voice. It's practical, it's intimate, it's strategic. If you want to see how to build rooms that build your brand, come in and sit on one. The link is in the show notes if you want to join us. Shout out to my south suburban Chicago people. Come and pull up on me. All right, let's keep going. Panels are positioning again. Like I said, this week I am sitting on a power table panel. Next week I am speaking on an ERG panel. And I'm excited about both. But here's the real reason. Panels aren't about performance. They're about association capital. When you're seated next to other leaders, you borrow credibility and you lend credibility. Your proximity expands your positioning. That's why I don't say yes to everything. Every room must align with the ecosystem that I am building. Community. Corporate entrepreneurship education. Which brings me to Career Day. Career Day is a strategy too. So this week I am having the amazing opportunity to speak at Chicago Public Schools Career Day. Shout out to my sister in law for connecting me with this opportunity. Some people think that speaking to students isn't big enough. But let me tell you something. Speaking at Career Day does three things. It strengthens Your message, it builds community roots. It expands your narrative beyond quote unquote online business. When you can speak to a room of students about digital careers, visibility, entrepreneurship, that deepens your credibility range builds authority, not just follower count. Let's talk about the framework. So let me give you the framework. Go ahead and get your pens and your notepads ready because gems are about to be dropped. If you want to stop waiting to be picked, here's what you need to do. Number one, Build your own stage. Host small gatherings, host conversations, host rooms, warm rooms before you enter them. So that means pre network, connect and build contacts. Number three, Stack rooms strategically. Community, corporate education. You see what I'm doing this week? Stacking rooms strategically. Number four, stay consistent. Authority compounds. This is not overnight. This is ecosystem building. I don't want to be famous. I want to be inevitable. And inevitable comes from proximity. If you keep waiting for permission, you will stay waiting. If you start convening, you will become the obvious one. So this week while I'm speaking, hosting, paneling, networking, just know none of this is random. It's architecture. And if you're ready to build your own rooms, come and see me at Coffee and ChatGPT or one of my other events. I do ton of events. You can follow my event calendar and learn more down below in the show notes. Or go ahead and send me a DM on Instagram with the word events and I'll send you my events list. So thank you so much for tuning into today's episode. If this episode helped you, please share it with someone who will help them too. Make sure you press that button and follow social media decoded so that you never miss an episode. And I hope to see you on these social media streets. I will talk to you in the next one. Peace.

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