Soder Podcast

Episode 122: Son of a Gun with Anthony DeVito

Date: February 24, 2026
Host: Dan Soder
Guest: Anthony DeVito

Episode Overview

This episode of the Soder Podcast features stand-up comic Anthony DeVito in a raw, hilarious, and unexpectedly moving conversation with Dan Soder. The main theme revolves around Anthony’s discovery of his late father's secret life as a “made man” in the Mafia, the impact this had on his upbringing, and the process of untangling complicated family legacies as an adult and a comedian. The conversation brings together laughter, vulnerability, and the unique way comedians find catharsis by mining pain for material. They also discuss Anthony’s solo show “Jersey Boy” (formerly “My Dad Is Not Danny DeVito”), the risks and responsibilities of telling true stories, and the unique tension between dark family truths, pride, and self-acceptance.

Key Topics & Discussion Points

1. The Story Behind the Podcast Episode

[02:55 – 08:59]

• Context: Greg Stone, Anthony’s best friend and fellow comic, previously told a story involving Anthony’s father — a story they ultimately decided to edit out for safety and respect due to its sensitive (and dangerous) nature.
• Industry Talk: The two riff on how showbiz is full of “climbers” who lack boundaries, with both having seen comics betray each other for personal gain.
  • Memorable Quote:
    “You see people where they do the entertainment business equivalent of shooting their friend in the leg so the zombie can eat them.” – Dan Soder [07:00]
• Honesty in Comedy: Shout-out to Tim Dillon’s brutal honesty as a refreshing counterpoint.

2. Anthony’s Dad: The Mafia Legacy

[08:59 – 12:05]

• Revealed Secret: Dan bluntly shares, “Your father was a professional killer for a very large mafia family.” [09:00]
  • Anthony clarifies: his father was a “made man,” meaning to achieve that status you had to kill for the mob.
• Anthony's Upbringing: His father died when he was only seven months old; he grew up not knowing the full story.
• Art Imitates Life: Anthony discusses his show and the evolution from the title "My Dad Is Not Danny DeVito" to "Jersey Boy" to better reflect the gravity of his family's story.
  • Quote: “They go, holy shit. Your father was involved with horrible people.” – Soder [10:57]

3. Childhood Myths and Reality

[12:05 – 24:43]

• The Stories Told: Anthony was told his father died in a car accident—his mother carefully shaped his early perception.
• Toughening Up: Stories of bullies and learning to stick up for himself; his mom would tell him “your dad didn’t take shit from anyone” for encouragement.
  • Comically, a story emerges about Anthony’s third-grade rivalry with a kid named Kenny, culminating in a year-long “fight club” in the cloakroom.
    • “I’m not gonna fight you today. I’m gonna fight you for a full calendar year.” – Anthony DeVito [17:49]
  • The principal’s reaction: “I bet your dad is proud.” [22:03]
• Growing Up in a House of Women: Soder and DeVito bond over being raised without fathers and by strong, protective mothers.

4. Discovery and Confrontation of the Truth

[24:43 – 35:12]

• Anthony’s Reluctance to Ask: As an only child, he refrained from questioning his mother, picking up on her sadness whenever his father was mentioned.
• The Revelation: At 18, a chance encounter at a basketball game leads to meeting a cousin from his father's side, forcing his mom to partially reveal the truth: his dad was a gangster.
• Piecing History Together: Over time, Anthony learns his dad wasn’t just a “regular guy” — though the full gravity remains obscure until years later.
• Anecdotes: Amusing aside about not being allowed to watch “The Godfather” growing up — his mom said it “maintains harmful stereotypes about Italian Americans.” [31:35]
  • “What a cool thing to find out your mom’s not a nerd, that she’s just protecting you.” – Soder [31:58]

5. Processing Complicated Legacies

[35:12 – 54:54]

• Reconciling Idealism with Reality: Research as an adult leads Anthony to official records – mugshots, crime stories, realization his father died “in a trunk,” not a car accident.
  • “He was found in a trunk.” – DeVito [44:29]
  • “If you don’t go, ‘I’m having a heart attack, let me get in the trunk’ – people put you there.” – Soder [44:35]
• Complex Emotions: The struggle to integrate the “cool factor” of having a Mafia dad with the painful reality of organized crime, and not glamorizing the pain.
• Comedy as Therapy: Discussion on how comedians transform trauma (“dead dad jokes”) into material, and the healing that comes from acceptance.

6. Family, Privacy & Telling the Story on Stage

[54:54 – 63:12]

• Timing in Comedy: Anthony waited years (late 30s) before addressing this story on stage. Initially, he refrained out of fear for family safety and respect; later, he wanted to “round it out and talk about it right.”
• Digging Deeper for the One-Man Show: When the show ("Jersey Boy") began to attract notice, word got back to the old family — the Mafia “sent a guy” to check it out.
  • “A couple weeks later I’m driving with my mom and she’s like, ‘oh, they sent a guy to check out the show’ – and that was terrifying.” – DeVito [58:11]
• Authenticity and Respect: Anthony wrote his show with his mother’s involvement and blessing, checking details to avoid disrespect or exposing secrets.
• Contact with the Family: Anthony has remained cautious and transparent, checking with extended family before any adaptation or commercial offer.
  • “I’ve reached out to them to be like, hey, so-and-so, this could be happening. What’s your say on this?” – DeVito [65:16]
  • They have, at times, vetoed ideas, and he’s respected their wishes.

7. Reflections on Motherhood, Identity, and Comedy

[63:12 – End]

• Reframing His Mother: Understanding her life as a “Jersey hot girl dating a mobster” gave Anthony a new depth of empathy for her quirks, paranoia, and vanity.
  • “Hot enough to destroy your life.” – DeVito [67:46]
• Relationship with Extended Family: Any contact with his father’s side has been cordial, focusing on mutual respect and recognition of shared loss, not “infiltrating each other’s business.”
• On Not Making It His Whole Identity: Soder praises Anthony for not letting his father’s legacy define his comedic persona, noting that he remains “a fantastic stand-up comic” first and foremost.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On the Entertainment & Crime Worlds:
  “The world that you’re describing is filled with respect and danger in a very real way. And then you’re in the fakest business on the planet.” – Dan Soder [65:33]
• On Honesty in Comedy:
  “The most fun thing is taking something that really hurt you and making fun of it. There’s like this feeling of power over it.” – Soder [42:27]
• On Parental Truths:
  “She did the right things with sort of letting this out, the way she let it out.” – DeVito [49:43]
• On Respecting the Past:
  “It’s always like they have to be informed. You check in, I check in.” – DeVito [66:34]
• On Coming to Peace Through Comedy:
  “I’ve done enough dead dad jokes … I’m kind of cool with it now, and I’m also personally in my life, done a lot of work where I’m at peace with it.” – Soder [43:11]

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 02:55 — Salt & Pepper Tour: Early comedy days & friendship with Greg Stone
• 08:59 — Revelation: Anthony’s father was a “made man” in the Mafia
• 10:45 — The Show: Title evolution & weight of family history
• 13:13 — Childhood: What Anthony was told about his father growing up
• 17:49 — The Year-Long Schoolyard Fight Story
• 24:29 — The Encounter: Meeting his cousin, the “veil” begins to lift
• 31:35 — The Godfather ban: Stereotypes & family cover stories
• 44:29 — Discovering his father’s real cause of death (“found in a trunk”)
• 58:11 — The Mob Reacts: “They sent a guy to check out the show”
• 65:16 — Seeking Permission: Clearing projects with extended family
• 67:22 — New Understanding of His Mom (“hot girl dating a mobster”)
• 70:08 — The Future: Taping “Jersey Boy” and continuing the story

Final Thoughts

This episode expertly weaves the deeply personal with the universal—the pain and pride of family secrets, the double-edged sword of mythic parentage, and the burden of inheriting a complicated legacy. Through their easy camaraderie and dark sense of humor, Soder and DeVito manage to elicit both laughter and reflection. Anthony’s journey, from innocent misunderstanding to cautious ownership of his truth, offers listeners both insight and comfort—especially those wrestling with legacies less cinematic but just as emotionally complex.

Anthony DeVito:

• Watch his stand-up special (link in video description)
• Follow on Instagram for updates
• Look out for the taping of “Jersey Boy” in the coming year

Dan Soder:

• Catch him on tour (tour dates at dansoder.com)

Recommended for:
Fans of personal storytelling, dark comedy, Mob lore, and anyone interested in how comedians process and present their deepest truths.