130: Fritos by the Pool with Kyle Kinane | Soder Podcast | EP 128

Summary

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Soder Podcast Episode 128: "Fritos by the Pool with Kyle Kinane"

Date: April 21, 2026
Host: Dan Soder
Guest: Kyle Kinane

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Episode Overview

In this lively, nostalgia-packed episode, Dan Soder sits down with comedian Kyle Kinane to riff on everything from awkward childhood discoveries and growing up with single parents to the evolution of standup comedy and life as a grown-up without kids. The two reminisce about 90s culture, awkward family moments, raunchy VHS memories, and how the comedy industry has shifted. With their trademark blend of humor and candor, they skewer themselves, their upbringings, and the quirks of modern fame, offering a mix of honest insights and laugh-out-loud moments.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Tour Announcements & Personal Updates

(01:00–02:10)

• Kyle wraps up his "Golden Retriever of Comedy" tour, with final shows in Iowa, Nebraska, and New Jersey.
• Expresses pride in his new hour: "I'm very proud of it. I think you'll like it. And then, then the new stuff."
• Touches on mental health: "You never know what someone has going on inside their own head. But you also sometimes don't take into account what you have going on inside your own." (01:53)

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2. Awkward Family and Childhood Memories

(02:10–17:50)

• The pair trade stories about weird family dynamics—aging grandparents, power of attorney, and the unique trust issues involved.
• Dan shares about getting Playboys from his grandmother ("Me and my cousin were doing yard, which is one of those things, like, we just throw cherry tomatoes at each other. And then she'd give us 50 bucks. [...] But then we come neatly with twine organized stacks of Playboys from decades.") (10:17)
• Both recall elaborate schemes to hide porn as teens: stashing magazines in ceiling tiles, dealing with the "thrill" and shame.
• Kyle muses on growing up as an only child to a single mom, comparing privacy dynamics to a "roommate relationship." (13:06–14:08)

Memorable Quote:

• Kyle: "That's what it is. It's a terse… It's the demilitarized zone between being mom and a son. Where you go, I won't cross here and you won't cross here." (14:08)

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3. Pre-Internet Porn, Teen Schemes, and Parental Interventions

(17:50–29:09)

• The excitement and plotting required for porn pre-digital era: barter systems, stashing VHS, blackout moments when tapes jammed in the VCR.
• Dan on the pivotal difference: "As far as… you can't take away a formidable experience of a young man. Like, not as a bit, but as… that's how you went about this generation learning about yourself." (18:01)
• Both reflect on the slow fade of shame and privacy with today’s easy access to everything online.

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4. Awkward Encounters with Softcore Cable & First Experiences

(26:41–39:46)

• Nostalgic dive into 90s softcore (Cinemax, Shannon Tweed movies, Red Shoe Diaries).
• The camaraderie and awkwardness of watching cable porn with friends, the social rules, and the wild imaginings required to fill in the blanks.
• Dan: "You gotta fill the gaps up and have… develop your sense of imagination, and hopefully that grows into an appreciation for art and creativity." (39:02)

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5. 70s-90s Parenting, Class, and Social Codes

(29:09–33:24)

• Kyle recounts time spent with his dad in rural California—crossing paths with racist neighbors, being bullied by "Fat Tit Neil," and navigating class/code-switching.
• "So to him, I might as well have been Richie Rich. [...] My mom would feed me dinner every night between 6 and 7pm. I had regular meals. I had a good life with your mom." (32:26)

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6. 'Fritos by the Pool' and Trashy Cuisine

(33:24–34:52)

• The origin story of "Fritos by the pool" and a debate about the best (and worst) white-trash snacks: "I'm trying to think of the shittiest white trash corn chip. It's un—it's regular. It's plain Fritos." (33:31)
• The classic Manwich vs. "meat witch" slip and its unfortunate double-entendre.

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7. Standup Comedy, Success, and the Social Media Hustle

(44:13–52:09)

• Musings on how comedy has changed as the business side has become dominated by social media and marketing.
• Dan: "I'm not even concerned with making a special anymore. I'm concerned with making a commercial to sell tickets to. Come see me live." (45:22)
• Both prefer a live, “in the room” feeling of standup, and share concerns about industry burnout and chasing content.
• Kyle: "It became more effective for me to not be doing 90 things. Yeah. And just focus on two things. Now I don't think in the current age that's probably the most… the way you're going to make the most money and all that stuff. But I think you'll be sane enough to enjoy what you do have." (48:34)

Memorable Quote:

• Dan: "The level I'm at, it's pretty good."
• Kyle: "You're one of the greatest comics in my mind of all time... you're on a level with Rory Scoville, with Nate, with Shane..." (49:20–49:28)

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8. Comedy as a Craft and Community

(50:53–52:42)

• The joy of still watching peers, learning, and not shutting oneself off after success.
• Dan cherishes time off to live life, drawing on new material rather than churning content.

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9. More 90s–00s Pop Culture Tag Teams & Confessions

(53:13–60:46)

• From B-movie parodies (“Dr. Alien,” “I Was a Teenage Sex Mutant”) to late-night skin flick absurdities (RC cars, camo bikinis, "snapping Cinderella").
• Wrestling, BMX, skateboarding, and being a punk show kid—comparing notes on what obsessions kept them sane or offered escape as children of chaotic homes.

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10. Middle-Age Life Without Kids & The 'War Chest'

(62:22–66:17)

• How childless adulthood changes priorities—more disposable income, room for hijinx (like being the "uncle" who buys loud toys for friends’ kids).
• Kyle: "If you pick to be the aunt and uncle in the world, you have to also understand that you have the war chest. If they go, hey, my kid broke his arm and we can't afford this... yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it." (65:09)

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11. Closing: The Reward and Community of Standup

(66:41–end)

• Both reflect on the value of helping friends, giving back, and appreciating the standup community.
• Dan closes by championing Kyle’s standup and encouraging listeners to see him live: "Kyle Kanane is one of the best working standup comics. Please go watch him live..." (67:21)

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Notable Quotes

• Kyle Kinane: "I didn't realize that's a different relationship until my fiance saw it. Enough that she's like, okay, you're one to one. In a weird way. It's like roommates." (13:06)
• Dan Soder: "Somebody had the bit it was about… Gran Torino. That's my grandfather. Except he thinks that movie's real funny." (04:56)
• Dan Soder: "If you don't enjoy the live shows… legitimately pack it up." (45:40)
• Kyle Kinane: "Sometimes my friends will, like, come out to see a show and I know that they're like tight or whatever, and I'll be like, let me get you a hotel room." (66:45)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Kyle’s Tour Dates & Mental Health Note: 01:00–02:10
• Generational Family Stories/Inheritance: 07:55–10:07
• Hiding Porn, Privacy as a Teen: 12:05–17:50
• Early Internet & Digital Shame: 22:31–24:30
• 90s Softcore, Red Shoe Diaries, B-Movies: 26:41–29:09, 53:04–55:09
• Class Differences & White Trash Childhood: 29:09–34:52
• The Social Media Grind in Comedy: 44:13–46:34
• On Slowing Down & Enjoying Life/Comedy: 48:34–52:09
• Middle Age Without Kids & ‘War Chest' anecdotes: 62:22–66:17
• Closing Standup Community Reflections: 66:41–end

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Final Thoughts

This episode is a must-listen for fans of both comics, as it delivers a raw, hilarious, and unfiltered conversation about growing up a misfit, navigating the pitfalls and joys of modern comedy, and finding a sense of belonging through humor and community. Kyle and Dan’s chemistry and wit make for an engaging journey through awkward adolescence, adult escapism, and everything in between.

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Transcript

[Kyle Kinane]

From Geico Subconscious News, I'm Tammy Racing thoughts tonight. You just left for work and had a non specific feeling that something was happening to your place and it wasn't good. Dan.

[Dan Soder]

Exactly, Tammy. It could be smoke damage, theft or just too much caffeine, but you can't stop thinking about it.

[Kyle Kinane]

But with renters insurance through geico, your stuff is covered so you don't have to worry.

[Dan Soder]

And that's great. Cause the weekend is coming up and it's chock full of social obligations that are ready to fill that void.

[Kyle Kinane]

Oh boy, will they, dad. It feels good to worry less. It feels good to Geico

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Kyle Kinane]

Hey everybody, thanks for watching the podcast. The Golden Retriever of Comedy tour is coming to an end. We got Larchwood, Iowa this Friday, Grand Falls Casino. And then I'm going to be running my hour in Omaha, Nebraska at one of my favorite clubs, the Omaha Funny Bone. I'm going to be there May 15th and 16th for four shows. I'm bringing SAG Daddy to God. We're having a hell of a time. And then if you live in the New Jersey area, I'm going to be there in June at the New Jersey Performing arts Center on June 5th. That's Friday, June 5th. One show and then the tour is over. Dance Otter.com all tickets are available right now. Please go get them and I'll see you on the road before I film this hour. I'm very proud of it. I think you'll like it. And then, then the new stuff. And then the new stuff. But thanks for watching the podcast. I hope you're doing good. You never know what someone has going on inside their own head. But you also sometimes don't take into account what you have going on inside your own.

[Dan Soder]

But it's show business. And what people have going outside their own head is like, oh, you're a nightmare.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah, you're.

[Dan Soder]

You're my living hell.

[Kyle Kinane]

If they did an updated version of that Mel Gibson movie, what Women Wanted, what we Want. But it's just in the, in the entertainment industry, it'd be a horror film

[Dan Soder]

that And I've always wanted a remake. Falling Down.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah. With Michael Douglas.

[Dan Soder]

I mean, it's a pretty funny movie.

[Kyle Kinane]

It is very.

[Dan Soder]

If you kind of take out the end where he's just trying to see his daughter or whatever.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

The rest of it's.

[Kyle Kinane]

You're kind of like, yeah, get him the McDonald's scene. Yeah, yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, he's like, no, that's all of us. You. You cut that out. That's all of us.

[Kyle Kinane]

Have you ever seen someone's bit and you can pinpoint the start of where that bit began? Where you went. Like, I. I bet that happened to you. And then you got all the rest of this bit.

[Dan Soder]

Yes.

[Kyle Kinane]

Falling down. That McDonald's scene. I went, yeah, that probably happened to you. And then you wrote this whole entire movie.

[Dan Soder]

You know what? I got a couple other grievances, a couple other things.

[Kyle Kinane]

Who could string this together?

[Dan Soder]

Doing an alimony payment. I was having a rough day. I missed breakfast at McDonald's.

[Kyle Kinane]

You know, I can get I am

[Dan Soder]

a vet pages out of this.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah. You like that movie specifically. You see that McDonald's scene and you're like, that had to be the inspirado.

[Dan Soder]

Well, that, like, I've always thought, like, you could redo it as a comedy if it's just a. A day of frustrations, of traffic and everything. It's real funny in its own right. Except now the whole. And I want to get a gun and shoot up places. People do that.

[Kyle Kinane]

Oh, God, that let a white boy get some motion.

[Dan Soder]

We got it hard out there, too.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Would you want an egg McMuffin at 11:05?

[Kyle Kinane]

You. You could argue that every Ben Stiller movie is falling down. But funny, like, every character.

[Dan Soder]

Why was it was the one. What's the one where he, like, makes friends with Adam Driver? Like, they're the hipsters.

[Kyle Kinane]

Oh, yeah.

[Dan Soder]

While we're young.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

And it is a little bit like. Oh, yeah, look, I'm like, there was a little bit element there, but.

[Kyle Kinane]

But there is, like, Meet the Fockers and stuff. Just everything. He's, like, disrespected.

[Dan Soder]

Falling down with Ben. Still, it. Honestly, it works.

[Kyle Kinane]

I think you could do it. I think it's a seamless. Where you put him in the same position, you go, it's just funny.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, yeah. Just read. Just turn it up a little. You just have to lose the weird flat top. Lose the Michael Douglas emo glasses. Flat top.

[Kyle Kinane]

That's what makes it.

[Dan Soder]

And let. Let, Let. Let's still get flat.

[Kyle Kinane]

You know?

[Dan Soder]

You know what he does. You Let him do what he does.

[Kyle Kinane]

Wind him up. Yeah, let's make it be funny. Ben.

[Dan Soder]

We just need classic you right now. You already know the scene and Ben,

[Kyle Kinane]

that's how they direct it. And you do.

[Dan Soder]

You do the thing you do.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah, because that is one of those movies where the older you get and the more frustrated by smaller stuff you get. Becomes less and less of a drama and more of a just.

[Dan Soder]

Somebody had the bit it was about. What was the Gran Torino like? Gran Torino. That's my grandfather. Except he thinks that movie's real funny. I forget whose bit it was. Everybody.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dan Soder]

I laughed at some of the wrong parts.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah. I mean, the, that movie. What's. What's crazy about Clint Eastwood is you would think at that age that he acted and directed it. That would have been his last movie. But he just stays alive like the sister in pet cemetery. How is. He's just so gross and weird.

[Dan Soder]

There was something like. You could tell he had like. Is the thin and the pants were just buckled hanging onto the last rib sticking out. That's the only way they're staying up.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah, it is. He's.

[Dan Soder]

He's yelling, action.

[Kyle Kinane]

He's like, I don't like.

[Dan Soder]

Doesn't have the, the cone, the. The old timey bullhorn.

[Kyle Kinane]

How am I supposed to talk to the actors if they can't?

[Dan Soder]

I mean, where's the crank on this camera? No, people.

[Kyle Kinane]

The Obama empty chair thing was so funny in Heinz. I mean, and when you watch it, it's just so. It's such a bomb. Go back and watch it now. Now that everything's on fire. Go back and watch that. Because you go back and you watch that and you go, oh, man, this was so much better entertainment. Pop.

[Dan Soder]

Pop. Going a little nutty on this one. Yeah.

[Kyle Kinane]

Well, I'll tell you, Obama.

[Dan Soder]

It's the one when the grandkids are like, no, let him run away.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah, dude, that's holding it in.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, it's sad. No, it's sad. You can choose to be sad. But we.

[Kyle Kinane]

I don't know. Judy won't shut up. She's crying. She can't let him do this. And you're going, he thinks he's there.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Kyle Kinane]

Or if you put an earpiece in him, like with them and then just someone did an Obama where they're like you. And he's like, I didn't say that. Actually. I think just at night. I think you're a. In those spaghetti westerns. He's like this full of dollars. More like a fistful of I'll get you Obama

[Dan Soder]

now. Yeah. Just a Bluetooth speaker in his bedroom.

[Kyle Kinane]

That's what it is.

[Dan Soder]

That's.

[Kyle Kinane]

We're not taking advantage of pranking the elderly as much as we should be. They're on the edge.

[Dan Soder]

Okay.

[Kyle Kinane]

They're living too long.

[Dan Soder]

I'll let you defend this standpoint.

[Kyle Kinane]

They're living too long.

[Dan Soder]

Sip of my water. We should be. We should be pulling the wool over these oldies eyes.

[Kyle Kinane]

Why are we just selling them gold? We could be selling them everything. Dreams and hopes. They fall for tons of you leave going. I didn't know soda was a rub my hands kind of together. I have a plan kind of guy. Oh, Kyle. We can take all their money.

[Dan Soder]

If you. If you had your will in place when it was supposed to be in place, you wouldn't have to worry about people like us coming through.

[Kyle Kinane]

Maybe if you feel free. Maybe if you didn't go to that. Maybe if you went to that notary.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. Yeah. Remember how your grandkids were like, get your paperwork in order. But you didn't. This was.

[Kyle Kinane]

We're.

[Dan Soder]

That's what we're doing now.

[Kyle Kinane]

My grandmother hit a. Hit an age where it became like she was refusing to take. I. I got her in home care so like a nurse would come by. She was like 94, 95. When this is happening. Yeah. She wanted to live alone. I talked to a doctor who said that's really good for their mental health if they can live in their own house because they know where everything is and they're kind of like in grooves.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Kyle Kinane]

Going to the kitchen. They know how to make coffee. And because she got coveted. And I was like, is this when I should put her in a home?

[Dan Soder]

Okay.

[Kyle Kinane]

And he was like, no, no, keep her in there, but get her in home care or whatever. And then I started noticing like, dude, my grandma has zero idea what's going on the world around. She was just like absolutely locked in in a way. But she wouldn't sign over power of attorney. So like, she treated me like I was a 10 year old boy.

[Dan Soder]

Did she know what that meant?

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah, she was. She was still with it. And I was like, hey, power of attorney. Kind of. If something medically happens to you, I can come in right now. I don't have any.

[Dan Soder]

I can hide Bluetooth speakers under your bed.

[Kyle Kinane]

That's what I want to do.

[Dan Soder]

That's what this paper is.

[Kyle Kinane]

And hope that you have a heart attack. No. But it became a point where she. This is. This was hilarious to me because she like wouldn't Go with me on it. I would visit her and be like, hey, I need you to get these power of attorney things. And then she'd be like, why? And I'd be like, well, in case something happened. And she'd be like, why? And she always was like, no. And then she met.

[Dan Soder]

Kind of funny.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah. And then she met my fiance and trusted her way more. And she was like, I'll sign him, but Katie has to be there. And I'm like, you don't think I could just pick up some strumpet to lie and work, you dumb asshole. I should have ripped you off. Because she eventually signed him and we went to the notary, but the whole time she's like, I'll only do it if Katie's there.

[Dan Soder]

What a witness. Trustworthy witness.

[Kyle Kinane]

No wonder our family has so many fucking issues. My grandmother wouldn't even be like, no, this is just a case if I have to pull the plug, which I did.

[Dan Soder]

No, she was mid-90s, and I guess my dad went over there one day. She was just sitting on the top of the stairs, was like. Sat down, was like, done. And that's how she died.

[Kyle Kinane]

No way.

[Dan Soder]

Was. Yeah. In her own house.

[Kyle Kinane]

Sat down at the top.

[Dan Soder]

Sat down at the top of the stairs, was like, I'm out. Like, that is kind of the greatest kind of hardcore.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah. That's the way you want to go.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. Got my first Playboys from my grandmother. Me and my cousin. Me and my cousin were doing yard, which is one of those things, like, we just throw cherry tomatoes at each other. And then she'd give us 50 bucks.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

But then we come neatly with twine organized stacks of plate boys from decades my grandfather had passed at this point, like, well, your grandfather's dead. I don't. I don't know what to do with this. And I was like, 15.

[Kyle Kinane]

Perfect.

[Dan Soder]

I mean, you.

[Kyle Kinane]

You're running on.

[Dan Soder]

I also. I was late to the game of getting my own stash at 15 years old.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah. And I'm trying to think how, you

[Dan Soder]

know, the woodland, the. The classic woodland pornography existed, but this was for me and Me and my cousin. Like, she's still with it. Like, there's. She's not cuckoo like this. And we had so many. Like, we're just putting them in the trunk. Like, are you calling our parents?

[Kyle Kinane]

You think it's a setup? You make her. You hit her chest to make sure she doesn't have a wire.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kyle Kinane]

Like, what are you fed?

[Dan Soder]

What do you think? We're.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah. Also, I got this Chronic blunt. You want to smoke the. You want to smoke the stickiest of icky.

[Dan Soder]

I mixed my pills again. You just sort them out for me.

[Kyle Kinane]

Take a handful.

[Dan Soder]

We had what it was like in the 30s. We had so many bundles that we tried to trade them at like, this dirt bag go kart track. We can't all. We can't just walk into our homes with this.

[Kyle Kinane]

We have.

[Dan Soder]

We have parents that are home. Like, so we're trying to give. I remember it's called Sil. Not Sylvester. Sylvester's Race Carts. Melrose Park, Illinois. Just an empty lot with spare tires and a guy with like, two go karts.

[Kyle Kinane]

Great.

[Dan Soder]

Some. Some old Pollock with like a spiderweb tattoo across his chest.

[Kyle Kinane]

But this is. This always goes to my. The rule that we need, our golden rule needs to come back of if you own it, you need to work there. Because now I don't need to go to some super clean indoor track owned by a financial private firm.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. That's never equity. And the dads smacking their kids because this is the path to NASCAR now is go karting. I saw that first. Not the smacking part, but like, you. You. You need to shave seconds off this lap. I'm like, we're next to top golf. Most of us are drunk. Calm down.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah, I don't think your kid's going to be in the Daytona 500 in five years.

[Dan Soder]

This was dirt track. Your shoelaces wrapping around the front wheel un. Just governor off on the lawnmower engine. And this guy going. Looking at my cousin's trunk full of Playboys, like, have these already.

[Kyle Kinane]

That's really.

[Dan Soder]

But was. So he's like, you go, how long you want? He just let us do laps all day.

[Kyle Kinane]

He. In here. I've come to.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, yeah, I know these ladies.

[Kyle Kinane]

But old porn was cumbersome because you had to hide it. You couldn't. You couldn't just, like, have a bookcase of porn in your room when you're 15.

[Dan Soder]

Well, okay, so I know, you know, you look. You like divorced parents stuff. Did you have privacy in your life enough to stash my one? I did not.

[Kyle Kinane]

So my stash. My mom. I was raised by a single mom, but I'm an only child. I didn't realize that's a different relationship until my fiance saw it. Enough that she's like, okay, you're one to one. In a weird way. It's like roommates.

[Dan Soder]

You're involved with each other.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah, but there's a privacy of like that. I don't think if There's a privacy you get single mom, only child that you don't get if you have siblings with a single mom. Because the single mom's like, I'm trying to take care of all these kids. I got to be in all these rooms. Yeah, my mom was kind of like. So one time I had a bunch of Playboys, maybe like a Penthouse or something. A couple magazines, top of my closet under this thing that you had to move, right? Well, she was trying to find something in my closet. Clearly moved it. Found the magazines, took them, didn't say anything.

[Dan Soder]

That move.

[Kyle Kinane]

I prefer that because I went and I reached.

[Dan Soder]

So you know, she knows I reached. She knows. You know, we're not mentioning it ever again.

[Kyle Kinane]

That's what it is. It's a terse. You know, what is this? It's the demilitarized zone between being mom and a son. Where you go, I won't cross here and you won't cross here.

[Dan Soder]

I was a goblin. I was like, they. I. My cousin went. So we had the one. My cousin tried to bring him into the house, like under a sweatshirt, just walked. Like he was holding a sweatshirt.

[Kyle Kinane]

Is it that we always like.

[Dan Soder]

It was like a. Like a. Like a trail lasagna when he walked in, like, oh, Kyle, here's your sweatshirt. I'll bring it in your room for you. As soon as he walks out, he's like, what was in the jacket? I'm like, just. Cuz I can't lie. I can't lie. So these I knew she had just, for some reason just stashed him under the bed in her room, throwing them out. But I'm like, well, I can't just take them. So I went and like I tore out all the pictures. That's crazy. Like I have to look back, not being a parent myself.

[Kyle Kinane]

Sure.

[Dan Soder]

But look at what my behavior was as a kid. And just if I was a parent, being like, Jesus Christ.

[Kyle Kinane]

Can I tell you something you just said that made me feel a lot better. I didn't want to admit this though, but in my stash, a lot of torn out pages. There were just torn out pages, like stacked in between magazines. I was a torn out page guy. If I was somewhere and I saw porn, I'm back. That's going on with me. Oh, girls in the PAC 12 fold, Arizona state. You're coming with me. I did. I had torn out pages all over the place.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, I'm not interested in this interview with Walter Cronkite.

[Kyle Kinane]

Oh, Bert, back at it. Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

I mean, smoking the band was Badass. But I know I'm not to read about it. Yeah, I, I. So I had that. I. Then I had, you know.

[Kyle Kinane]

So she would take them, go put them in her room.

[Dan Soder]

She said that one. That one grip of them were. Said I had all the pictures torn out.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

But then, you know, okay, you go to Tower records, you're getting your own. There was a drop ceiling in the basement. Like, real flimsy, like, press board stuff. And I just had it all up there. But then I just came home one day. My mom's like, there's a mess in the basement. I think it's yours. Go clean it up. So in the laundry room just. It gave way. It just showered. My mother in pornography.

[Kyle Kinane]

And what was she doing? She was just like, nothing.

[Dan Soder]

It just. The ceiling just. It was like. Like crappy press board.

[Kyle Kinane]

The weight of your horniness.

[Dan Soder]

It was. I had it. I was bolstering the foundation with what I had up there. It's like when they open those radio towers and it's just a squirrel's been putting acorns in there for the last 20 years.

[Kyle Kinane]

Bl.

[Dan Soder]

Like, yowza.

[Kyle Kinane]

There is an energy. First off, your cousin coming into the house like a shitty assassin with a gun under a thing, like he's trying to kill a president.

[Dan Soder]

Hold a sweatshirt with two hands like this.

[Kyle Kinane]

But the energy of, like, hiding porn and being creative in it is something that kids that just look at Internet porn will never understand of, like, taking something and finding something in your house where you go, yes, I had these drawers on, like a shitty cardboard bookcase that was just in that when I was a kid where all my books would go, you know? And then when my mom sold a bunch of them in the. In the garage sale, they were all empty. That's when I had a fake ID and I started buying VHS porn. So I just had VHS porn in there. And she never looked. And I had a good tent faced up like it was. It was. So it was in the closet against the wall. Oh, okay. And there was like sneakers and stuff in front of it. So really you would just like, knock them away and then pull it out to get like, splat on my rack too. The original mixtapes.

[Dan Soder]

First off, like, I'll. I want to address. Like. I know it's like a comedic moot point to be like, in the view.

[Kyle Kinane]

We had to find.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, pour in the wood. But still, as far as. You can't take away. A formidable experience of a young man. Like, not as a bit, but as. That's how you went about this generation learning about yourself. I remember one buddy, his dad had stuff, but then there was like the booby traps of like a string in front of the drawer. So like the cabinets, if you opened it and then closed the street, you see, we got to put this here and then this has to go back. And there was a thrill to it. And the v. The VHS tapes that

[Kyle Kinane]

was VHS tapes were. I remember one time one caught in the vcr. Hey, if you're trying to learn a new language, you're probably like me and you're like, well, that train has passed. But maybe it has it. Maybe there is a way that you can learn bite sized lessons that fit easily in your daily routine. Interested at all learning a language? Well, try Babel. Babel recognizes the real world connections at the heart of learning language. And you got to be immersed in it. They let you practice real life conversation step by step without the stress. You build the confidence to speak up if it matters. Whether it's ordering a coffee to chatting with new friends. Babbel is just more than lessons. They even offer a large connection of podcasts where Babel experts reveal language secrets and offer an inside look at local custom at local customs. My dog won't leave me alone because she wants to learn a new language. She wants to learn English and I won't teach her. Myrtle will never speak English because then she'll run this house. But if you want to learn Spanish, French, Italian, Russian, Japanese, there's so much you can learn. Here's a special limited time deal for our listeners. Right now you can get up to 60% off Babel subscription at babel.com/ford/soder. Get up to 60% off at babel.com/soder spelled b a b b e l.com/soder Guys, the money game's tough. You don't know what apps to use. How you gonna give money? Who are you gonna get money from? And then you gotta start using Cash app because Cash app is the way to go because it's secure app that you can send money, you can receive money and you don't gotta worry about people ripping you off. Plus, Cash app just released new status program for the way people actually spend called Cash app green. It unlocks new ways for you to pay, get rewarded and usually grow or manage your money on your terms. Now when you spend at least 500amonth with the Cash app card or Cash app pay, you earn green status which unlocks benefits like up to 200 of free overdraft Coverage huge high borrow limits big and custom personalized cash back offers every Friday at places you love to shop. You love that. So you go get the thing you love and then you go, I want to get a little money back because I buy a cake every Friday. Cake every Friday would be delicious. Turn everyday spending into status with Cash App Green Download Cash App today or visit Cash App New to learn more about this and other great features. Launch it now and for a limited time. New Cash App Customers can earn $10 if they use the code CASH APP10 in their profile at signup and send $5 to a friend within 14 days. Terms apply. Cash App is a financial service platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's banking partners. Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton bank member FDIC Cash App Green overdraft coverage Borrow cash back offers and promotions provided by Cash App A Block Incorporated brand Visit Cash App Slash legal podcast for full disclosure was VHS tapes were. I remember one time one caught in the VCR and I was trying to pull it out and then I heard a house fire. The garage?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. No, we just got to burn the house down.

[Kyle Kinane]

I went like this. I went, well, guess what, class A students, you're no longer a part of it. And I just, I pulled it out where you could see the. The thing was grabbing the film and I went and I just pulled it and then ran up, ran upstairs. Was like, fuck it, you're dead to me. But you really. It's shooting your friend when the zombies are coming. You're like, I'll never get to jerk off to this again. But mom, just open the garage.

[Dan Soder]

It's the two alpine climbers where the one guy was dangling on the rope, like, to save me. I have to. You have to die.

[Kyle Kinane]

That's what it is. I just had to cut it and cut my losses and run.

[Dan Soder]

I had.

[Kyle Kinane]

I just think the, the, the basis of that in a man's life of finding the excitement of finding ways to get it private truly makes you more romantic, I think is as you grow older because you go, oh, because it's special. Yes.

[Dan Soder]

Or the writ or the true risk. I so you did you get like I, you. I. You had the bit about like trying to print something out. So you had like the home computer thing.

[Kyle Kinane]

I had the home computer thing. That was. That was when I stopped with computers on porn. Was that moment. Because what happened is, you know, obviously I did it as a bit but she just came downstairs and was like, what the is this? And you were like, I don't even know. But then she hit me with the. She used to do my laundry, and I used to just.

[Dan Soder]

I don't even want to think.

[Kyle Kinane]

I know. And I used to just come in my old boxers. I would just cap it when I would. When I was like.

[Dan Soder]

I'd just be in bed in the Coke bottle thing. Oh, this is a mess.

[Kyle Kinane]

100, dude. 100 Mentos in the Diet Coke bottle. This is exactly what it was. And my mom just, you know, single mom, only child. That roommate relationship. She goes, do you know that cum smells?

[Dan Soder]

Oh, no. Oh, no.

[Kyle Kinane]

I was like, God damn it. I can never drink off it. So then that's when I went to Kleenexes.

[Dan Soder]

I'm getting my own place. Mom, you're 14. I know, but I think this is best for both of us.

[Kyle Kinane]

Me out. I want to divorce you.

[Dan Soder]

This is just to save. Save us.

[Kyle Kinane]

I want you to emancipate me. I need to go jerk off.

[Dan Soder]

Our home computer was at the bottom of the stairs in the basement.

[Kyle Kinane]

Okay.

[Dan Soder]

And I was like, down the stairs, down the stairs. And I was. That never. I don't know if I want to think about it that much right now. It was in the corner before. Now it's right. But never underestimate the horniness of a young man. And the risk, like, now this is going into criminal territory where you got guys that beat off in the park and everything.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Happy to say I didn't get. But as far as just in the home. In the home going like, this computer's a new thing. And everything I want to see is just. It's right there.

[Kyle Kinane]

And all you need. All you need is a clear window

[Dan Soder]

of privacy or some courage.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

I went for it. And it was. I mean, a purely. Just suburban white, like, so.

[Kyle Kinane]

Sure. The.

[Dan Soder]

The exotic, the variety. And it was. I remember specifically, it was like, thick black ladies. And it was. You know, I'm of an era where I was like, oh, these, like, the real thin supermodel thing. I was just. Now I could see the things that

[Kyle Kinane]

I look at her actual butt looks like.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, good God.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Just the door at the top of the stairs opens. It's just my mom, like. Like, you.

[Kyle Kinane]

A corner.

[Dan Soder]

Peas or something. And my choices were, you know, stay there, don't move. But trying to click off everything on a computer with, like, just nothing but windows that are open.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Or is that a rolling office chair? Just push off out of sight.

[Kyle Kinane]

That's kind of genius.

[Dan Soder]

I pushed off out of sight. You still. You see exactly what's on the computer, but plausible deniability. You didn't see me in the area with the computer.

[Kyle Kinane]

Sorry, Mom. I think we got a horny ghost. Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

What were you looking. Were you looking at this?

[Kyle Kinane]

I think dad was looking at that. Juicy black asses.

[Dan Soder]

Why are you still sitting in the chair? I was doing a thing. I needed to.

[Kyle Kinane]

I needed the wheels.

[Dan Soder]

Just a But to hear that scoop. You hear the rolling across linoleum.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah. What is.

[Dan Soder]

Sorry, Mom. She watches this. I'm sorry.

[Kyle Kinane]

What did she do? Did she just go Kyle. And then leave?

[Dan Soder]

It was a very much Midwestern just.

[Kyle Kinane]

Well, dinner will be ready in 20.

[Dan Soder]

We're gonna. We're gonna focus on our daughter. We're gonna make sure that one gets on the straight and narrow.

[Kyle Kinane]

My big thing, because our computer sucked and that, you know, we had, like, the dial up, as did you. But it was. It was so difficult to watch. Videos were like, not even a thought. It was mostly pictures, but I got. I remember a tape of, like, three B movies. Like titty movies.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Kyle Kinane]

Shannon Tweed movies.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, yeah.

[Kyle Kinane]

Remember Shannon Tweed?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. USA up late. Or I mean, us. USA different gal for that. Up all night. Yeah. Okay.

[Kyle Kinane]

But. But it was usually on Cinemax. Those are the Cinemax movies. Yeah, the Cinemax movies were like Shannon Tweed movies where she was a detective. And all of a sudden there was this handsome man that might be connected to the murder.

[Dan Soder]

The Emmanuel series.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yes. It was like Red Shoe Diaries. Oh, remember that?

[Dan Soder]

My man Duchovny.

[Kyle Kinane]

No one. No one remembers David Duchovny. Puddling, paddling, smut.

[Dan Soder]

No, no. He was just in the first. He was just reading the diary.

[Kyle Kinane]

There's. I know he was. He go, can she love people? He's like, on a beach with a dog.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Kyle Kinane]

And he'd be like, I fucked my mechanic. He's the guy in the park.

[Dan Soder]

And here we go. And here's what you wanted to see.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah. There's an episode with Kato Kalin where Kato Kalin's like, the guy that bangs her. Like Red Shoe Diaries. But Pre.Pre murder.Pre 94.

[Dan Soder]

O.J. or he had a little work getting some gifts.

[Kyle Kinane]

That's why he's in the guest house. One of these Red Shoe Diary episodes take off.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. You couldn't be a total slob and get the guest house.

[Kyle Kinane]

Well, maybe if O.J. didn't kill, he'd be. He would have been molder.

[Dan Soder]

Okay. This is what they're gonna know.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

O.J. this is really gonna screw up my career.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah. He goes, oh, Jay, I Was up for X Files. Now the narrator got it.

[Dan Soder]

Do you? I was talking about there's somebody else.

[Kyle Kinane]

And I called Fox Mulder, which I know you gotta remember that David Duchovny played Fox.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, I know, but I'm gonna screw up. Like according to the true fans. But do you remember a series and not to dump. Commandeer this episode. Make it all about middle aged men talking about porn.

[Kyle Kinane]

This is why people listen to this.

[Dan Soder]

All right, well, let's dive deep.

[Kyle Kinane]

There's people in the office right now that are going, I want to. I want to talk about 90s porn with Kyle Kanan. Dan Soda.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, there's a couple Reddit. I'm like, yeah, let's fall down this one.

[Kyle Kinane]

Fine, why not?

[Dan Soder]

Let's see. Let's see what? Before. Before they really figured out surgery.

[Kyle Kinane]

Oh, really?

[Dan Soder]

Oh, just like. Well, I don't even know what I'm looking at right now.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah, God bless.

[Dan Soder]

Looked at it more of like a stunt thing. Like look at what you did with your body.

[Kyle Kinane]

But isn't that what you felt like the first time you saw actual porn? Not Cinemax.

[Dan Soder]

I like, oh, I remember the very. The real rascal of a kid in junior high co it was one of those like, oh, you live in an apartment. I don't know kids. I mean, we didn't have money, but I like, oh, you just live with your dad.

[Kyle Kinane]

The middle class was doing so well in the 80s that if you lived in an apartment, kids were gone. What happened?

[Dan Soder]

It was one of those like, okay, you're getting, you're getting your life back together.

[Kyle Kinane]

Especially if you're in the burbs. I'm talking about if you're in like a Midwest or the Colorado. Like we would go to this kid.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Kyle Kinane]

This kid that lived in a town. There was a townhouse complex right across the street from my place. And I remember going into his house one time, these new kids moved in and we were like, these new kids are so cool. They're dangerous and they'll ride their bikes so fast and they smoke cigarettes like we do. And then we went into the kid's house. When the kid's dad was a clan member, he had like his shirt off and he had a huge confederate flag on his back. And I remember being like, well, I'm not coming over here with Johnny, who's my black friend.

[Dan Soder]

How old were you at the time?

[Kyle Kinane]

I was 11. I was maybe 12.

[Dan Soder]

And you knew what that stuff was then. I mean, I saw that. 12. No, 12.

[Kyle Kinane]

You, you know.

[Dan Soder]

Okay.

[Kyle Kinane]

I was like, oh, well, you're.

[Dan Soder]

You were at Denver or where I was in Aurora. So southeast Denver, you got plugged into that.

[Kyle Kinane]

But pretty early on, Colorado, I saw that because of where my dad lived. My dad lived in Lake county, which is three hours north of San Francisco. Very rural.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, California cities is.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah, it's tough.

[Dan Soder]

I remember going to Lancaster for a gig when I was in la, that people just had swastikas spray painted on the hood of the car. Like, there's nothing to be afraid of for them out there.

[Kyle Kinane]

There's a lot of great people in Lake county, but people know what I'm talking about. If they live there, that there is a racist enclave where you go. And my dad was, like, in trailer parks getting drunk with, like, anybody one.

[Dan Soder]

How far out from, like, Humboldt was it?

[Kyle Kinane]

Oh, no, it was. It was like. It was east of Ukiah, about 45 minutes east.

[Dan Soder]

Okay.

[Kyle Kinane]

Off the 101, so. But it's, like, beautiful. But the people there are terrifying. Some good people. There's a lot of great people there. There's a lot of. Very terrifying every area.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Kyle Kinane]

But when you're plummeting into the depths of alcoholism in your 40s, you're not hanging with the best and the brightest. And when you're a little boy's visiting you, you're exposing them to people that are, in my own experience, quite terrifying.

[Dan Soder]

I think I visited that apartment. It was where I first saw porn. That's exactly background. It was one of those, like, oh, this is one of those apartments we have to walk downstairs to get into. You know, your windows are so high

[Kyle Kinane]

on the wall, you know, the gayest. The gayest I felt in those situations were. Was they were all drinking. We went to the. The lake, like these, like, swimming spot or whatever. And my dad and his girlfriend and her fucking white trash family, we're just drinking. Shout out to Bonfire fans. They remember Fat Tit Neil. It was my dad's girlfriend's son. He had giant nipples and tits. And he was so mean to me because he liked my dad. He was 14 and I was 12.

[Dan Soder]

Okay?

[Kyle Kinane]

So he was mad when he found out that my dad had an actual son. And he was. I was just like, a nice kid and I was living in a good suburb, you know, I was living in, like, a suburb of Colorado. So to him, I might as well have been Richie Rich. And I came and he was like this fat tit Neil straight up bullied me. But we were. I. We were out all day with them. And the gayest I ever Felt hanging out there or like the prissiest I ever felt was they. My mom would feed me dinner every night between 6 and 7pm Yeah, I had regular meals. I had a good life with your mom.

[Dan Soder]

Cared for.

[Kyle Kinane]

I was cared for.

[Dan Soder]

You were loved.

[Kyle Kinane]

My mom loved me. My dad, they were like blackout drunk and it was like 11:15. And I remember being like, can we have dinner? And everyone was like, oh, who's the prince? And I was like, I need to eat. I was like really getting like. I was getting like bitchy. I was getting raised by a single mom bitchy. I was like, get along.

[Dan Soder]

Get a load of this guy in his basic needs.

[Kyle Kinane]

But you know what's funny is no one is there to tell me like, like, yo, you were right. So I just spent years being like, I'm. I don't know. I'm a prince.

[Dan Soder]

I mean, how are you supposed to gauge. I mean, I can only imagine especially if that's your dad too. Like, oh, that's not the part of your family. It's not like, well, this is how my friend's family lives and I won't be around.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yes, this was.

[Dan Soder]

This is my dad.

[Kyle Kinane]

This is my dad who I don't talk to a lot. So it was like I'd see him once every two years. So you're also going like, well, I want you to like me, but I'm very hungry right now. I'm also a 12 year old boy.

[Dan Soder]

I'm your fault for not getting enough Fritos by the pool.

[Kyle Kinane]

That's exactly what it was. That's exactly what it was, man. Where he went, like trying to think

[Dan Soder]

of the shittiest white trash corn chip. It's un. It's regular. It's plain Fritos.

[Kyle Kinane]

And I will say to this day,

[Dan Soder]

why are we eating scoops when there's nothing to scoop?

[Kyle Kinane]

Ask anybody that knows me. First off, that's a little too highfalutin for my taste. I like the single skinny Fritos. So you can snap them off and you also can make them with into a sloppy Joe pretty well. Or a pile of Fritos with meat. With like man meat witch on top.

[Dan Soder]

All right. It's really want to correct a few things that you said right in there. Meat witch.

[Kyle Kinane]

You know the key.

[Dan Soder]

It's Manwich, man.

[Kyle Kinane]

Which.

[Dan Soder]

Which isn't better than what you said.

[Kyle Kinane]

There's no way it's man.

[Dan Soder]

No, I think we grew up in the same kind of level and income. That's why I was like, it's Manwich Man.

[Kyle Kinane]

Which, you know what's funny, though?

[Dan Soder]

Don't call it meat witch.

[Kyle Kinane]

Man.

[Dan Soder]

Which type of porn we were talking about.

[Kyle Kinane]

Well, Manwich sounds like a kind of porn.

[Dan Soder]

Man.

[Kyle Kinane]

Which sounds like a g threesome.

[Dan Soder]

It's a burly gal.

[Kyle Kinane]

That's a meat. It's a meat witch meat.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, get up in that cauldron.

[Kyle Kinane]

But then I remember, like, ask, like, doing the passive aggressive thing of being like, hey, so. Oh. Like, looking through their cupboards. And then finally my dad was like, do you want that? And then they made me the saltiest hamburger helper. And what made me mad is my dad could cook. Yeah. So that was like a shitty meal. But he was just black out and he was like, yeah, salt meat noodles. There you go, you little fucking queer.

[Dan Soder]

This didn't help anybody. It's didn't help hamburger. It didn't help me.

[Kyle Kinane]

And then I had to lay on that couch, that itchy ass couch, and sleep there that night. And just. My dad was, like, banging some white trash lady. So he did the thing where it was clearly after they fucked. He was walking to the bathroom in his underwear, and he was like, you doing all right, buddy? Like, out in the living room, and you're like, I'm fine.

[Dan Soder]

You just. You inconvenienced his.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah, that was it. But that's what I mean. Like, you, like.

[Dan Soder]

I mean, you've dealt with this.

[Kyle Kinane]

So when you go to an apartment

[Dan Soder]

on your behalf right now. But. Yeah, that sucks. That's.

[Kyle Kinane]

Oh, it just sucked. But that's what I'm saying. Like, that was always to me, when I would go to a kid in a tough apartment's life, it would always in my head go like, this is what living with dad would be like that if.

[Dan Soder]

And not. And not to generalize, like, if it was with the mom, I'm like, she's trying to get it back together. She's working two jobs, and we're gonna. In this. We're kidding. If it was with the dad, I'm like, oh, there's no. There's no role model here.

[Kyle Kinane]

Oh, you go.

[Dan Soder]

That's why this kid.

[Kyle Kinane]

You're gonna be raised by a wolf.

[Dan Soder]

I was only friends with this kid because his last name started with a case, which is like, in junior high. Like, okay, you're. The guy sits behind me. So I guess we're friends. I saw him at the Addison State Fair or like a community fair at the booths and everything. Nah, come on. We're gonna go to my place, live across. I live in the apartments by the junior high. We're injured. Yeah. I'm like, all right. Because the Michael Jordan's Greatest hits. He put us in it just mid butt porn. Just. And I did not know that's how sex even worked.

[Kyle Kinane]

Wait, did he prep you at all?

[Dan Soder]

Nope.

[Kyle Kinane]

He just went.

[Dan Soder]

It's like, nah, watch his tape. Michael Jordan's greatest Hits. And then just put it in.

[Kyle Kinane]

Was he like, what Was he, like, doing the thing where he was watching it, being like, I don't rem.

[Dan Soder]

I. At that moment, I had never seen penetration.

[Kyle Kinane]

Did it.

[Dan Soder]

I think because it was still. Even in the magazines, it was still kind of like, yeah, she's over there and there's a guy like, hey, yeah.

[Kyle Kinane]

Oh, she's like squeezing her boobs together.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. Something that still wasn't to. That I recall. And it was close. It was one of those.

[Kyle Kinane]

They did a lot of close shots.

[Dan Soder]

I didn't see the two people.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah, they were all about dick and vagina.

[Dan Soder]

Dick and vagina. I'm like, what's this? This is Michael Michael Jordan. Yeah, this is Michael Jordan.

[Kyle Kinane]

Which one's Michael?

[Dan Soder]

This is also in the Bulls dynasty. So I'm like, wait, wait, I didn't. I mean, I didn't watch. I'm not a sports guy, but I don't. I don't remember this happening. Was this the third time they went championship?

[Kyle Kinane]

I'm guessing the ones getting fucked are the trailblazers.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Kyle Kinane]

Is that the one?

[Dan Soder]

I don't even know enough about the sport to know how to reference it. Oh, then he just put that on and then he's like, yeah, I was like, who? I gotta go meet up with my other friends because this feels like it's dark in here. And I don't know. I don't even know you. And we're in a basement, but it's also your whole house. And I got a feeling this weekend,

[Kyle Kinane]

that feeling of like, you're drowning and sad. Yeah. But you don't. You can't show to other kids where there is.

[Dan Soder]

Where I'm supposed to be enthused with. But this makes me feel like I don't want to be around. Like, that's why I never understood porno theaters.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Like, let's all hang out and watch this movie.

[Kyle Kinane]

Well, that's also what a lot of.

[Dan Soder]

That's how you had consume it back the day.

[Kyle Kinane]

That's what it was. Growing up, you would be around your friends and they'd be like, oh, I've got. My friend had a black box on his tv. Okay, so he'd get the Spice Channel. And I remember something that in hindsight was very wrong was we all watched the Spice Channel, and then we would make fun of each other for getting boners, where you'd be like, I bet he's got a boner. Meanwhile, I was tearing through denim. I just had my arms over it being like, I. I watch the girls boobs bounce. I remember because this is still softcore porn. They don't show the penetration in Spice. So what they do is they need it. No, they would. I'll tell you. And this is how simple it was. This is why I think we need to outlaw online porn for kids. Because there was something about being 13 years old and watching their bodies collide and move in a way that I went, oh, holy. That's doing something.

[Dan Soder]

It's a real jazz. It's about the noob nudity.

[Kyle Kinane]

You don't see that.

[Dan Soder]

You gotta fill the gaps up and have. Develop your sense of imagination, and hopefully that grows into an appreciation for art and creativity. Right now you're like, I think what's happening where the screen cuts off is it's going in.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

And there's a sound, and it looks

[Kyle Kinane]

like it feels phenomenal for everyone involved, I think. But her boobs bouncing. It was a spoon. They were having, like, spoon sex. And I remember her boobs bouncing. Maybe we go, like, I gotta go home right now.

[Dan Soder]

We. We were at the one kid's house. His parents were never. I think it was an open, like, using the bathroom.

[Kyle Kinane]

That's great.

[Dan Soder]

And nobody would, like, yeah.

[Kyle Kinane]

No one's like, yeah, go ahead. No one talks shit like that.

[Dan Soder]

It was the one that the first kid, like, what'd you do in there? Cranked it.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Like, oh, that's. We're just gonna be cool like that. All right, I'm up.

[Kyle Kinane]

That is that. You know what's funny is those kids, I feel like we should track them like buffalo, because they're gonna be the most successful in life. Because they go, I'm myself, and I just say what I do. Like, they go, I jerked off and I'm comfortable with it. And you go, we should be president. Well, because the rest of us are not.

[Dan Soder]

Okay.

[Kyle Kinane]

We're not gonna be there for three years.

[Dan Soder]

There's a part of me that would argue with, like, do you think that especially with stand up and how much, like, I've done, You know, you get book on, booked on. Like, this is not happening.

[Kyle Kinane]

Like, sure.

[Dan Soder]

It's a story that's cram. Like, that's my Whole I've, I've put everything out there. That's why the idea of shame, of like, we don't, nobody I know has shame. And that's a good thing about being like, I'm open about this. Look what they're beat off.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

What am I be secret about it? I know what I did, I'm telling you. But maybe a little, maybe a little bit of it, maybe a little bit back.

[Kyle Kinane]

You know, I wouldn't mind a little shame coming in. Like the, the whoring that we're seeing in society of just like all. I guess the example is celebrities with commercials, where you go, I don't feel like it used to. I mean, I did a joke about it, but it is true. It used to be like when you saw a celebrity doing commercial, you'd be like, oh, they need the money. They're like, yeah, they're hard up for work and they need to pay their bills. And now it just seems so like fans make excuses for celebrities doing commercials that you go, no, we should shame them. We should be like, you don't have enough, you don't have enough money. Because, like, a little shame goes a long way. I think you're right. We don't have shame. But I also think we did feel shame and we learned how to work through it by making fun of it.

[Dan Soder]

I, I, I had, I had talked about this and I got blowback on a different podcast about hearing that, like, some celebrities will just do a day's worth of work for a commercial, get a million bucks, and they can put that right into a, a charity or something. Like, you want me for an afternoon? I can ally this amount of money over here. It's like, granted, they probably have that money already. They could just give it. But it's also the ones if you don't hear them talk about that, because it would be tacky.

[Kyle Kinane]

Sure.

[Dan Soder]

Then I just, for my own hope in the good of the world, I want that to be happening. I don't think it is. I don't think it is, but I hope it is. Where I don't want to be absolute doomsday Armageddon about the world. So I will choose to think about certain situations that way. But also,

[Kyle Kinane]

Zach, Doc, baby, man, have I been worried about little pains in my hips or a little bump on my arm. And then I just sit there and I go, am I dying? Should I be scared? Should I be worried? Well, guess what? If I had Zocdoc, which I do. I've actually had it for a while, Sockdoc is a free app at a website that lets you find and book high quality in network doctors so you can find someone that you love and feel comfortable with. That's the most important part. You want to find a doctor that you feel comfortable with. Where you just go like, all right, I know the office. I love knowing a lady's name at the office of a doctor, being like, nancy, is he available next week? Boom. So stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to Zocdoc.com Soder to find and instantly book a doctor that you love today. That's z O C Doc.com Soder Zocdoc.com Sodor Thanks Zocdoc for sponsoring this message. If you like the unpredictable twists and stand up comedy, playoff hockey is right up your alley. Every shift and every game counts. There's no coasting when the Stanley cup is on the line. NHL on TNT has the best coverage with a panel that's just fun to watch. Paul Bissonnette brings the laughs and Wayne Gretzky breaks down the action in a way that makes it easy to follow. The intensity of playoff hockey is something you have to see for yourself. Watch the Stanley cup playoffs on TNT, TBS, TruTV and HBO. Max

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Dan Soder]

The idea of celebrity is different now.

[Kyle Kinane]

Well, it's so fractured.

[Dan Soder]

Everything. Everybody can have access to some level of fame and make money off of it. Yeah, I, I, I'm, I'm split both ways. I could be a hypocrite because there's some days I'm like, get paid. How are you going to get paid? Yeah, it's, it's a show out there.

[Kyle Kinane]

Also it's two people that came through comedy when there were gatekeepers and it was industry heavy and you watched all that drawing back on how I felt then to people. Now I go, yeah, get your money, go around these people. But then there are days where I go, is anybody gonna care about the quality of content?

[Dan Soder]

I heard that people, the Average people will. They'll watch 20 minutes of an hour special.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Like, I spend all the time trying to make sure the end is the best part and nobody like somebody coming in, just eating the fries, slapping the burger off the plate.

[Kyle Kinane]

I was like, no, I'm like, I was just gonna say, yeah, eat the stuff off the cake, but I don't like the cake. And you go. Baking the cake's the hardest part.

[Dan Soder]

Nothing. Nope, nope. I'm gonna set up, I'm gonna get six cameras so I can make sure I get 30 second clips because I don't. I'm not even concerned with making a special anymore. I'm concerned with making a commercial to sell tickets to. Come see me live. I still want to do that. I still like that part of comedy.

[Kyle Kinane]

The live part is if you don't enjoy the live shows is what I tell them all the time. The second that you don't like doing live shows legitimately, pack it up. Because there is. Outside of paying your rent, there is zero. I don't.

[Dan Soder]

We don't get. Have to get mired in like comedy talk. You know, it's easy to do, but

[Kyle Kinane]

if we slip into it, we slip into it. But I'm just, I'm not gonna get tased.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, yeah. Well, I got every coup and then

[Kyle Kinane]

the industry of the bot.

[Dan Soder]

But I'm fascinated with dudes that you find out that some of these people, they're open about it. Like how much money they spend on a social media team.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Like, and I'm not saying that if you have a good product and you spend a ton of money to get that product in front of people and then they like it.

[Kyle Kinane]

Especially as you escalate as things escalate as you get bigger. Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

So. But you, But I mean you could spend all the same amount of money some of these other comics are spending and if the X sucks, it's not. You're not gonna get back. But I'm like, where's the rest of your life?

[Kyle Kinane]

Well, there is. Where do you.

[Dan Soder]

Where do. Okay. Because I like you. You do this show.

[Kyle Kinane]

Sure.

[Dan Soder]

How many.

[Kyle Kinane]

I do this in stand up.

[Dan Soder]

You don't have any other.

[Kyle Kinane]

I do the regs twice. Twice a month with Bobby, Kelly, Lewis and Joe.

[Dan Soder]

Okay. That's a. Twice a month.

[Kyle Kinane]

Twice a month, guys.

[Dan Soder]

Like four podcasts.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah, man. I was.

[Dan Soder]

They got a, they got a camera crew that opens for them.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah, they. Then the camera crew opening thing. I've seen. We've seen that a lot and I, I understand it. Listen, everything this Is this, is this is where stand up leads into gun ownership. Where you're like, I understand these things, but I live in Oregon.

[Dan Soder]

Dude strapped.

[Kyle Kinane]

I love it. Going out into the woods of Oregon and shooting is one of my favorite things in the world. Shout out, Sumner. I'll be doing that soon. When I see you, you need a gun for protection sometimes. Sometimes you can be a gun enthusiast, but then sometimes that can bleed into you just being a full on psychopath and having way too many assault rifles and guns you don't need. And you're going like, hey, I think this is a bigger problem than you protecting yourself.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. My concept of how the world works is warp now. Is that what. Because some of these comics, I mean, whatever. Don't have to name names about it. I don't think they're bad people, but I don't need to out who if like, I know how much people spend on social media where. But what about the part where you write jokes or just live your life? Like, because I'm in a stage now where I'm like. And I'm not. Wouldn't even do that much. I just tour and I'm trying to like, I just wanna. But I think that like I'm here in New York, like, so what sets you got? Like, none. I did the Bell House on Friday. I did Jersey City Saturday. I did the thing.

[Kyle Kinane]

You know what?

[Dan Soder]

Trying to cram myself into five spots a night while I'm here. I want to see my friends.

[Kyle Kinane]

But as someone that lived like that for a very, very long time. Yeah. It becomes a fear of. And I'm only speaking for myself in this. It was a fear of slowing down, thinking it would all get taken away.

[Dan Soder]

I'm fighting it right now. It's where my calendar stacked.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

It's not spots in town, but it's every weekend.

[Kyle Kinane]

But I'll tell you right now what I learned and I think where I was fortunate enough to learn this during COVID whenever, when the road did get taken away and all this stuff got taken away. And then when it came back, I had a different attitude of like, well, now I have a life now I have a fiance and a dog and I want to do stuff. And it became more effective for me to not be doing 90 things. Yeah. And just focus on two things. Now I don't think in the current age that's probably the most. The way you're going to make the most money and all that stuff. But I think you'll be sane enough to enjoy what you do have.

[Dan Soder]

I'M trying to get over worrying about am I gonna level up? Like, I might not.

[Kyle Kinane]

I would say you're one of.

[Dan Soder]

The level I'm at, it's pretty good.

[Kyle Kinane]

You're one of the greatest comics in my mind of all time.

[Dan Soder]

Get the out of here.

[Kyle Kinane]

I am so serious. You're on a level with Rory Scoville, with Nate, with Shane. You're one of these guys that. With Sean Patton was always one of those guys for me where with him last night, I watch you do stand up, and you're like, want to grab everybody else and go. That's what you do. That's the first bit I ever saw you do was the rehearsal show at Gotham for Live at Gotham on Comedy Central, and you did your hold over on a bike bit.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, yeah. I was being a little bastard on that.

[Kyle Kinane]

And, dude, it was great. But I saw you that night at the rehearsal for Live of Gotham, and then you did Cabin Bar. You did comedy as a second language at Cabin Bar, and you're just one of those guys like Kurt Metzger. It used to be when I would watch him that I go, I want to quit. I want to quit. I don't think I can come up with that. I don't know how he came up with that. That. That. That makes. It doesn't make me angry at you. It makes you. It makes me help my. Hate myself.

[Dan Soder]

I love. I love still seeing those guys.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah. And that's why I think there's a delicate balance of. I think what happens is people get success, and then they shut the door. They, like, they just close the door and they go, well, I got to. I got to only worry about how I'm going to shoot into the other level. Yeah. But I think the real success is staying grounded in, like, seeing guys where you go, fuck, I want to go do stand up and. And find a bit like that.

[Dan Soder]

That's why Portland's great, because I still go watch people.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Doing their headline spot. Like, watch what the final product supposed to.

[Kyle Kinane]

Sure. That's what I love about New York City is I can catch someone like Ethan Simmons Patterson, or I can watch Peter Ravello, and I can watch him do 15 minutes and go, what the am I doing? What the am I doing on stage? And then you go. And you go, well, I have two choices. I can either start shutting all that off and going like, I'm the best. Go Howard Hughes Kleenex box on my feet. Go crazy and. And kind of insulate myself, or you just, like, get better. Just go do Four fun jokes or just bomb, moron.

[Dan Soder]

Like. Like, stop being scared of bombing. I'll get us out of this comedy tailspin.

[Kyle Kinane]

By the way, there's people. This is what I always find out, because I always will. I'll hit the eject button first on the comedy talk. But then there's been a lot of fans when I've been on the road recently that are like, hey, I know you're a stand up comic. I'm fine with you talking about it. It's just when I started the podcast, it was like, stand up come. And that.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Kyle Kinane]

Sucks. But talking to you talk. I'm talking to a guy that I'm not.

[Dan Soder]

I love it so much, I don't want to ruin it. Which is why I can't do five spots in a night. And I take all summer off to go live my life.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yes.

[Dan Soder]

And then when it's time to go back on the road, oh, here's all these things I was thinking about. And I think they're fun ideas. And I don't know if they're gonna be good jokes yet, but you're gonna watch me bomb a little bit. But it's because I got fun ideas. Well, not like, here's jokes that are jokes. Cause I know how jokes work. Cause all I do is go see people tell jokes every. Every night.

[Kyle Kinane]

It's the thing also for you where you bring all this stuff that happened to you and then you, like, put together the puzzle of the bit and you go, that's.

[Dan Soder]

That's always fun.

[Kyle Kinane]

That's the best part.

[Dan Soder]

You found all the edge pieces.

[Kyle Kinane]

It's gonna be a picture, you know, it's gonna be a whole picture. Oh, and then it doesn't happen for a week and you get frustrated.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, this is the worst comic ever.

[Kyle Kinane]

But I feel like, start driving for lift. Yeah, but that should be the energy. Comedy's popularity is about to go away. It's mass appeal. Is. It's. It just is.

[Dan Soder]

I hope so. I want this. This bubble has been stretched so thin for so long, you know, and I. I'm looking forward to the tourists falling away.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah, I was. It's filled with tourists.

[Dan Soder]

When we could talk about the weird late night pornos where was like RC cars, like, they were like a commando unit of big titty ladies.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

If you want to bail out on

[Kyle Kinane]

the combination comedy thing, I'll always talk about that one.

[Dan Soder]

If, you know, if you stay in

[Kyle Kinane]

those series of movies, they could sell me on anything. I was a teenage sex mutant. Do you remember that? And he had the thing that came out of his head, and the women would get naked. Saw my friend Justin's house sleeping over. Can you look it up? I was once a teenage sex alien. Okay, if we're going late, this is, like, late do.

[Dan Soder]

Okay. Do you remember when they did, like, a Cinderella parody, but she had, like, a. Like a snapping or something instead of the slipper? And so the prince had to go,

[Kyle Kinane]

is that a tight pussy?

[Dan Soder]

No, it would, like, make a noise or something. Like, even as a kid trying to be horny, I'm, like, really taking me out.

[Kyle Kinane]

This was first thought.

[Dan Soder]

Suspension of disbelief is destroyed right now.

[Kyle Kinane]

It was called Dr. Alien, a 1989 Dr. Alien. Dr. Alien. That was the piece. But I remember that lady, dude. I remember that lady. Judy Landers. Shout out Judy Landers. Damn.

[Dan Soder]

Back when you could be a sex symbol named Judy Landers.

[Kyle Kinane]

Look at her and just have the blonde hair. We'll put the picture up of Dr. Alien, the alternative title. The film was also released under titles I Was a Teenage Sex Maniac and I Was a Teenage Sex Mutant. Just like man. Which I should. I know the answer But I try to change it to make it right I know I got to go with my heart. The film's plot centers on an unpopular honor.

[Dan Soder]

Couldn't read that in the TV guide. That I was just like, oh, no, Dr. Alien. They'll know.

[Kyle Kinane]

They'll know.

[Dan Soder]

It's 11:30.

[Kyle Kinane]

And it had the little. It's a nudity and sexual content.

[Dan Soder]

Got Judy Sanford. What's her name?

[Kyle Kinane]

Judy Landers.

[Dan Soder]

She's got Judy Landers.

[Kyle Kinane]

And she was Miss Zenobia, her sexy biology teacher.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, I thought that was, like, a country that's no longer from a beauty pageant.

[Kyle Kinane]

They got bombed in 96. That was part.

[Dan Soder]

It was part of Czechoslovakia.

[Kyle Kinane]

That was. When they. Wait, was that Bosnia. Hercules, Covina and xenophobia. Wesley. This is what I remember. Wesley becomes a chick magnet whenever a phallic stock emerges from his head. So it'd be like a. Like an alien dick would come out of his head. Yeah. Wesley begins, xenophobia may have something to do with the fact that she isn't from Earth, but, yeah, that was it. I was a teenage sex mutant. All right, now I want to find snapping Cinderella.

[Dan Soder]

I. It was one of those ones where, like, so to go. There was a series of movies where, like, they were, like, commandos in a jungle, but, like, the bikinis were camouflaged like.

[Kyle Kinane]

Ah, yes.

[Dan Soder]

That's how you go undercover.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah. And then they're in heels always.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. They Were like. But then there was also. It was a one director and also they always use remote control cars or airplanes to get a bomb under the enemies jeep or something. So I was like, well like that.

[Kyle Kinane]

I love RC Boobs. Yes.

[Dan Soder]

And it's gonna blow stuff up and then they're gonna take a shower.

[Kyle Kinane]

The mixing.

[Dan Soder]

This has got everything I want.

[Kyle Kinane]

That's why when people today go like you're a pro wrestling fan. Did you ever hear a glow? And you go, you think a little boy that got boners and love pro wrestling wasn't dialed in to glow. I told you. Body movement made me almost come in my pants. Of course these were slamming into each other.

[Dan Soder]

So I always tried to like, I always thought like that MMA was the logical conclusion between drag and wrestling or that that wrestling was the logical conclusion between MMA and. And drag. It's violence and it's pageantry, it's outfits, it's characters.

[Kyle Kinane]

No one wants to admit that loves professional wrestling. It's the gayness that is in is endearing. It's like the pageantry of it is endearing because you go like the match is fun, the stunt fighting is fun, but it's everything around it.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. It's a show.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

This. I don't know what happened. Like I look at my youth and people like, well, I was into wrestling a bunch or you were into sports. And I'm like, I wasn't into anything. And I'd like, what, what was I doing outside of just tearing out pictures

[Kyle Kinane]

of tits after just going through.

[Dan Soder]

They could shower. I'm like, if I had these other interests, maybe. Well, there's like a well rounded kid that's kind of horny. But I'm like, I'm looking back like that's the only defining thing I got going on. It's not like what other interests did you skateboard? I was a skateboard BMX kid. But also I just, I never was obsessive the way just other kids. Like you have the time to be obsessive about something and know all the names and you have all the koutram. Like I'm gonna get this. I mean if this on my cake for my birthday is going to be a WWF cake or something.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

And I didn't have had a couple of those. Yeah, I was just like, I don't

[Kyle Kinane]

know, like 100% escapism.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Kyle Kinane]

It was. Wrestling was a way where I could just watch conflict be resolved in front of my face in a way that was satisfying.

[Dan Soder]

That the world wasn't providing for you this is giving. This is giving me closure on some things. 100, 100 as a good guy and a bad guy. And most of the time the good guys. Sometimes the bad guy would. And that's how the life is to Kyle. You're usually unfair.

[Kyle Kinane]

You're nailing it. And then I would. I obsessively. I obsessively got into sports because I liked sports. But I also realized if I knew who everyone was and I could talk about sports facts, when I'd visit my dad and he worked in a bowling alley bar, I could sit there and talk to the other men and they'd go, go, hey, this kid isn't a queer. I like your boy Gary. And I'd be like, 49ers are 7 and 1. And Steve Young has 17 touchdowns and two interceptions. And they're like this little weirdo.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. All right. That's more numbers than I was planning on talking about, but all right.

[Kyle Kinane]

But it would always be a thing of kind of like it was rooted in people pleasing and like, because I liked it. So it was something I could talk about.

[Dan Soder]

And you got acknowledged in a way for it.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah, but like, I always wanted. I always wish I was ballsy enough to be a skateboarder.

[Dan Soder]

I was never good at. I never. I never was. I was the guy that would sit there and talk. I mean, it was always about being a smart ass. There's the guy. That's good.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah. Shout out. Chris and Mitch. They were the best out of my friends.

[Dan Soder]

Greg was the guy that had the. Had the balls to try things. And the rest of us drank 40s and. And mocked. Mocked each other for not trying things.

[Kyle Kinane]

That was.

[Dan Soder]

And also. And also like, like all ages music. Like, once I could start going to see punk shows in Chicago, that is what I did every weekend.

[Kyle Kinane]

That's awesome.

[Dan Soder]

And yeah, so I did have the thing that I got obsessed about, but that was not.

[Kyle Kinane]

That was by that point me. From the adults around me even further that that was. Yeah. Then they go, wow, this kid really doesn't want to talk to me.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Kyle Kinane]

Going to punk shows.

[Dan Soder]

They're like, got green hair at Christmas. Is that for Christmas or just because you're like gay or something? All right, all right. It's fun, it's good. Let's go to midnight mass.

[Kyle Kinane]

You know what? Video games are that for me? I can just go like, I'm gonna play video games. They go, are you gonna go play your little video games? It's like, so I don't have to talk to you. Are you not picking up on this? I don't like you, Joe. Yeah, mom's boyfriend. I want to go play WCW vs NWO revenge on six.

[Dan Soder]

Go play your little video games now. Don't bother me. I got this pile of scratch offs I got to work through.

[Kyle Kinane]

Dude. That's exactly. Dude. It really was like one of those things where you as a kid you just tried to find. Now everyone's in their phone so you don't have to go outside. But when you were a kid you had to like find a reason to go outside. You'd be like, I'm gonna go to the park and skateboard. But I would ride my bmx. I had a BMX bike.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. I was always out. I was always out. Not athletic, but just still out.

[Kyle Kinane]

I feel like kids are still out. I feel like that's the thing that we do in our older age that we go, they don't do the thing. But I think they're still out. I, I, you like my friends that live in the burbs. I go out there and I see kids running around with bikes.

[Dan Soder]

And do you get. Well that's what I love. Like I do this whole, like, we didn't wear helmets riding bikes.

[Kyle Kinane]

We weren't.

[Dan Soder]

No pussies. I'm like, you also didn't have X Games on high def. Watching a guy do a double.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Double flip with a tail whip in the middle of it. And now you got a seven year old going, I'm riding off the roof. Like, let him wear the helmet.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah, let him. If they're gonna do crazy shit. Yeah. Also they don't.

[Dan Soder]

And we did, we had kids with head injuries.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah. I remember one kid at my, at my daycare like after school program that had a head injury and had to wear a baseball helmet outside. And you're like, yeah, it makes sense. He spilled his brains.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kyle Kinane]

Cuz he was. No. Yeah. But you know, it also is, they also make helmets cool. Now they're not as lame as a

[Dan Soder]

hand me down motorcycle helmet from the

[Kyle Kinane]

garage or the one with the big sponge on the side and it's pink with the visor. You can get a good helmet now.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, I mean I already, I still do mountain biking. So I'm gonna go out. I look like a, every time I go out, but it's with a bunch of other middle aged dudes that look like dipshits.

[Kyle Kinane]

Better have wrist guards on now, brother. You better have everything on. Knee pads, elbow pads, the helmet, man.

[Dan Soder]

I'm pretty.

[Kyle Kinane]

You're pretty.

[Dan Soder]

Rock Pretty extreme. Dude.

[Kyle Kinane]

Is there a guy until I fall.

[Dan Soder]

Like, why wasn't it. Where are the wrist guards?

[Kyle Kinane]

Is there a guy in your middle aged group that rides that is overprotected?

[Dan Soder]

Oh, there's a. I mean, because it's a, it's a dentist sport. Yeah, it's, it's, there's a, there's a moneyed entry to like the bikes and everything.

[Kyle Kinane]

Oh yeah, you got to like buy a good bike.

[Dan Soder]

And that's what I like. Like again, I don't know if you're planning on kids or anything.

[Kyle Kinane]

No kids.

[Dan Soder]

Okay. So yeah, that little bit of. What should I. Yeah, yeah, buy whatever you want.

[Kyle Kinane]

I do that with my cousins and their kid. Their kids are like my friends and their kids will be somewhere and my friend's kid will be like, I want that. And they're like, we don't. And I go, you really want that? It's mostly piss my friends off when they go, don't do that. I go, oh yeah, you want just raise them.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, that's your job. Tell them.

[Kyle Kinane]

I go, you gotta tell him. What? Why he's feeling is wrong in this. Yeah, I just got the. I, I threatened my friends with Amazon drops. I threatened them, you're gonna be home

[Dan Soder]

between three and seven.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah. I go, some toys are coming. And I say that to him. I go, you around and piss me off. I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna silence you. I'm gonna send 300 worth of toys to your front door.

[Dan Soder]

My uncle would do that, but he would just buy like loud Christmas presents.

[Kyle Kinane]

Sick.

[Dan Soder]

For myself. Like, like hit sticks, which are drumsticks. Yeah, speaker that you could play on everything.

[Kyle Kinane]

I had a hot licks guitar.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. My sister didn't want him, but he's like, he wanted them because he wanted my mom to be like, what the is this?

[Kyle Kinane]

It's the best thing in the world being the drums.

[Dan Soder]

But anywhere, God, Jesus.

[Kyle Kinane]

The childless couple that presents the problematic present where you go, yeah, absolutely. I don't got to deal with it.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Kyle Kinane]

I literally was telling one of my best friends, one of my oldest friends in the world, he has two, his twins and a daughter. Three daughters total, but two of them are twins. I was like, when you guys get into music, let me know. And they're little play drums. They go, yeah, I'll get you a whole kit.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Kyle Kinane]

I go, you play guitar, I'll get you a stat. I'll get you an amp stack to the sky. Yeah. It'll be like the beginning of Back

[Dan Soder]

to the Future stepladder to turn it on. Yes.

[Kyle Kinane]

I'll get you a generator.

[Dan Soder]

That's the basement I have now.

[Kyle Kinane]

That's sick.

[Dan Soder]

That's my base. And there's little flashes of. Come on. Shouldn't you. Shouldn't I be doing, like, what else? What else was I supposed to be doing?

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah. Hell yeah. And knowing. I think, no.

[Dan Soder]

And it's. And I live in a house. So now nobody else has to hear only the first half of Kickstart My Heart except for me for about four hours. Depending on how many beers I've had.

[Kyle Kinane]

Depending on how many beers you have, sometimes it's going to be locked in.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Kyle Kinane]

Sometimes it's going to be really.

[Dan Soder]

It's never locked in. Just how enth. It's just. Can you hear the enthusiasm?

[Kyle Kinane]

But that also is the thing of, like, I understand. I get that in life and my friends get to feel a little love that I'll never feel the reward of

[Dan Soder]

putting a good person in the world and seeing them develop, Like, I guess that's nice.

[Kyle Kinane]

But I also tell them, hey, I got the war chest. So if you ever need anything, we can help you out.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, I've kind of been like, this is here for.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah, that's what you're supposed to do is community.

[Dan Soder]

Community funds.

[Kyle Kinane]

If you pick the aunt and uncle life. If you pick to be the aunt and uncle in the world, you have to also understand that you have the war chest. If they go, hey, my kid broke his arm and we can't afford this knee dropping. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it. Yeah. Because then.

[Dan Soder]

And then what's your tasteful way of doing that without being tacky with my friends. Yeah.

[Kyle Kinane]

If they have a problem like that, which has happened.

[Dan Soder]

Because you can ask, like, if you ever need help, just ask. And you know they won't ask.

[Kyle Kinane]

I'll collect the facts.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Kyle Kinane]

And then I'll ask if I can help. And if they say no, and then we talk about it again, sometimes I'll get a little aggressive and go, hey, what's your email? I'm gonna put you in touch. And then I put them in touch with the adult that runs my finances.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, I got one of those.

[Kyle Kinane]

And I go, can you help my friend out? And then they go. And then like, my friends will wait until we're face to face again and they'll just like do like a hard shoulder grab. And they'll go, yeah, thanks a lot. Why don't you just tell me first,

[Dan Soder]

let me show you what I would have bought with that money. So you don't feel bad about where it went?

[Kyle Kinane]

Did you think you can buy a human sized fruit by the foot? Because you can. 6 foot 4 of fruit by the foot.

[Dan Soder]

You know how I got a thing with even numbers and I only have seven mountain bikes right now? I would have just gotten another one. You know, odd numbers creep me out.

[Kyle Kinane]

It really is the thing where you're like, dude, please let me help you. Yeah, because you're doing the hard thing of waking up and feeding them breakfast and telling them what numbers are and

[Dan Soder]

get a back brace for your kids for the other one, too. But just in case.

[Kyle Kinane]

Also like, it just like, sometimes my friends will like, come out to see a show and I know that they're like tight or whatever, and I'll be like, let me get you a hotel room. Why don't you stay at the hotel with me? You can hang out, you get a different room, and then you and your wife can have a night in the hotel. Cuz you don't get that. But you don't. And then they go. And now I got to pay a sitter overnight. You go, all right, well, I don't know, dude, I'm trying to do something.

[Dan Soder]

Never mind. Never mind. Idols, don't worry about it. Don't come to the show.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah, I don't like you anymore. We're not friends. There's no war chest.

[Dan Soder]

Here's my bill for having to listen to you right now.

[Kyle Kinane]

Yeah. Also, I'm sending $700 worth of toys and it's just noisemakers.

[Dan Soder]

Also, I want that fruit by the foot thing back. Yeah, I know you didn't finish it.

[Kyle Kinane]

There's no way. There's no way. Because I spent years engineering that Kyle Kanane is one of the best working standup comics. Please go watch him live. You will see great comedy. That's just. Even if he's working on new shit, you'll see great comedy. Watch Kyle Kanane everything he has on YouTube.

[Dan Soder]

I gotta follow up that promise.

[Kyle Kinane]

Just. Just go watch Good stuff Stuff. And Kyle Kanane's Good Stuff, that's a podcast.