136: IRL Kayfabe with Chris Faga | Soder Podcast | BONUS EP

Summary

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Soder Podcast Episode 136: IRL Kayfabe with Chris Faga

Release Date: May 29, 2026
Host: Dan Soder | Guest: Chris Faga

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Episode Overview

This bonus episode dives deep into the culture of wrestling fandom, the blurred lines of IRL "kayfabe" (the wrestling term for maintaining character and suspension of disbelief), and how these play out in food, nightlife, and everyday life. Dan and returning guest, comedian Chris Faga, swap stories about wrestling events, food addictions, strip clubs, and working in New York's intense restaurant scene. Their unscripted banter flows through tales of excess, vulnerability, and the constant hustle, all with plenty of self-deprecating humor and personal insight.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Wrestling Fan Experience

• Wrestle Kingdom and New Japan Pro Wrestling:

  • The episode opens with an enthusiastic discussion on New Japan Pro Wrestling's Wrestle Kingdom (their WrestleMania), featuring classics like Osprey vs. Omega and Nakamura vs. AJ Styles ([01:53]).
  • Dan and Chris lament WWE’s botched main roster handling of dream matches first seen in Japan (eg., Nakamura vs Styles).
    • “That WrestleMania match... it was like a nine hour pay per view... that was the match everyone was stoked for.” – Dan ([02:17])

• Wrestling Week Overexposure:

  • Chris describes the burnout of attending too many shows in a week—comparing it to over-indulging in other vices.
    • “I was just so exhausted... didn’t even want to watch WrestleMania.” – Chris ([03:00])

• The Horny/Fanatic Comparison:

  • Dan draws a parallel between diehard wrestling fans and insatiably horny guys—there's never enough, and some just can’t stop.
    • “You meet dudes that are really horny... and you realize… maybe I’ve never been horny." – Dan ([03:29])

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2. Addiction, Compulsion, and Food as Kayfabe

• Food Addiction Stories:

  • Chris shares how the pandemic and restaurant closures disrupted his relationship with food; he details indulging in 12-course solo meals at high-end spots after open mics to cope with depression ([04:07]).
  • The ritual of self-rewarding with extravagant meals is equated to self-destructive habits in other realms.
    • “It does sound almost like a weird S&M with food and comedy.” – Dan ([04:24])

• Peak Gourmand Moments:

  • Chris loves Le Bernardin (his best meal ever), Boulay for lunch deals, and describes the class divisions even in fine dining ([05:10]–[07:14]).
  • Feelings of class-impostor syndrome pop up sitting among true high-rollers:
    • “How are we eating the same meal, peon?” – Chris ([07:26])

• Comparison to Strip Club Culture:

  • The dynamic at high-end restaurants is likened to strip clubs—a theme revisited throughout; attention and service are distributed unequally based on perceived wealth and status ([07:39]).

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3. Strip Clubs, Booze, & Dissociation

• Bachelor Parties, Drinking, and Disbelief:

  • Dan avoids bachelor parties/Vegas since quitting drinking; Chris and Dan both agree that booze is what allows people to fully "go with the show" in strip clubs ([08:52]–[09:26]).
  • “The only way that you're suspending disbelief in a strip club is like, three shots, seven beers.” – Chris ([09:13])

• Comic Strip Club Tales:

  • Chris tells stories of eccentric strip club regulars—one friend tipped dancers with mozzarella sticks and performed at a haunted, rapper-hosting club ([10:33]–[11:45]).
  • Both poke fun at the pretense and transactional nature, debunking Chris Rock’s “no sex in the champagne room” myth.
    • “What a lion piece of... He's an absolute lie.” – Dan ([09:54])

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4. Restaurant Industry Inside Baseball

• Service, Turnover, and Scripting:

  • Dan details working in NYC at Dos Caminos and the "chains that look fancy but rot from the inside," comparing apartment complexes and restaurants that degrade quickly ([13:05]–[13:52]).
  • Discussion of how chain restaurants script waitstaff and rely on actors/comics who have no intention of making a career in hospitality ([21:18]–[23:14]).
  • “They're really just being like, okay, we have all these actors. Let's just give them the script.” – Chris ([23:14])
  • The darker side—managers showing bias for “hot” female staff and the politics of tip distribution—illustrates how hierarchy and exploitation play out ([25:09]–[27:50]).

• Boundaries and Exploitation:

  • Chris describes being exploited as a bar door guy, forced to wait tables while his boss hooks up with a waitress ([27:50]).
  • The mirage of workplace camaraderie evaporates when profits appear:
    • “We're a team until all of a sudden there's money. And then it's like, I will fire you.” – Chris ([29:08])

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5. Lawlessness, Guns, and Regional Culture

• Tales from Tucson and Arizona:
  • Both reminisce about the wild-west feel of Tucson—open gun ranges, "lawlessness," and strip club drama ([14:21]–[20:09]).
  • “There's almost this, like, embracing of the lawlessness… It's very cowboyish.” – Dan ([20:09])

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6. Betting, Gambling, and Consumer Culture

• The Spread of Gambling into Everything:

  • Discussion of modern gambling not just on sports but TV shows, politics, e.g., “Polymarket”—blurring IRL and kayfabe ([32:44]–[35:14]).
  • The sense that the US has become a casino, with people now betting on truly anything.
    • “America's becoming that... you're just like, yeah, let's bet on it.” – Dan ([34:50])

• The Risk of Corporate Takeover: WWE, Disney, and Beyond:

  • Dan voices worries about WWE becoming stale or “Disneyfied” like so much else—corporate entities subsume the product’s rough edges and authenticity ([31:54], [37:42]).

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7. Superheroes, Nostalgia, and Cultural Saturation

• Comic Book Movie Burnout:
  • Both reflect on once loving comics and superhero IPs, but now feel overwhelmed and exhausted by constant sequels and sameness ([39:08]–[40:08]).
    • “If you would have told me at 11 years old that I’d be sick of superhero movies... I’d be like, you’re out of your mind.” – Dan ([39:17])

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8. Hookers, Coming of Age, and Darker Stories

• "Growing Up Fast":

  • Chris shares childhood tales of working at his dad’s restaurant next to a motel, being tasked to “shoo” hookers out of the parking lot at age 12, and his first encounter with fake boobs—a darkly comic, melancholy snapshot of urban coming-of-age ([40:16]–[43:39]).
    • “Come on, what am I doing? I got a kid this age and I'm blowing guys for 20 a pop.” – Chris ([40:55])

• Falling for “Sluts” and Incels’ Cures:

  • Both admit they fell for so-called “sluts” and speculate about incel culture, sharing that self-improvement and “getting jacked” (getting in shape) transformed their love lives ([44:17]–[50:38]).
    • “You just have the cure for incels.” – Dan ([50:38])

• Advice for Young Men & Midlife Dating:

  • Chris: Take art, cooking, or even dart/pool classes to meet people; don't rely on online apps. Dan agrees and adds that face-to-face activities are best, especially for older singles ([51:31]–[54:19]).

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Strip Clubs & Disbelief:

  • “You need to be so drunk, you feel like you’re in a rap video.” – Dan ([09:16])

• On Working Restaurants:

  • “They're training you, but… we have all these actors. Let's just give them the script.” – Chris ([23:14])
  • “Restaurants really can just… go, here's how we're going to treat you.” – Dan ([29:00])

• On American Consumer/Gambling Culture:

  • “The casino… you’re just like, yeah, let's bet on it.” – Dan ([34:50])

• On Comic Book Movies:

  • “If you would have told me at 11 years old that I'd be sick of superhero movies… I'd be like, you're out of your mind.” – Dan ([39:17])

• On Incels, Self-Improvement, and Dating:

  • “Go away and get jacked… don't talk to them.” – Chris ([49:14])
  • “You need to give them whiplash… show up at a party.” – Dan ([49:58])

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Timestamps of Major Segments

• [01:53] — Deep Dive on Wrestle Kingdom and Wrestling Fandom
• [04:07] — Food Addiction and Solo Fine Dining
• [08:52] — Why Booze Is Necessary for Strip Clubs
• [13:05] — The Reality Behind Fancy Restaurants
• [21:18] — Lifers vs. Transients in Restaurants
• [29:00] — The Myth of Restaurant Teamwork
• [32:44] — Gambling on Everything: Sports, TV, Politics
• [39:08] — Comic Book Movie Burnout
• [44:17] — First Encounters with Hookers, and the Dark Side of Youth
• [49:14] — Incels, Self-Improvement, and Dating Lessons
• [51:31] — Art Classes and Meeting People in Real Life

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Tone & Style

The episode is loose, quick-witted, crude, and unapologetically honest. Dan and Chris riff with each other, veering between personal confession, social critique, and comedy club storytelling. There’s a recurring theme of nostalgia for authenticity—whether in wrestling, food, strip clubs, or relationships—and frustration with how money, branding, or superficiality corrupts everything over time.

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Final Thoughts

Episode 136 offers an unfiltered look at the intersection of fandom, excess, and the struggle to find meaning (or pleasure) in adult life. Whether dissecting the performance of wrestling, a Michelin-star meal, or a half-remembered night at a strip club, Soder and Faga keep it hilarious and painfully real.

Transcript

[Chris]

Liberty Mutual customizes your car and home insurance. And now we're customizing this ad for your morning commute to wake you up, which could help your driving. Science says that stimulating the brain increases alertness. So here's a pop. How many months have 28 days. What gets wetter as it dries? What has keys but can't open? Locks. If you don't want to hear the answers, turn off this Liberty mutual ad now. 12 months. A towel, piano. Enjoy being fully alert.

[Dan Soder]

Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Hey, sweetie. Your mother showed me this Carvana thing for selling the car. I'm gonna give it a try. Wish me luck. Me again. I put in the license plate. It gave me an offer. Unbelievable. Okay, I accepted the offer. They're picking it up Tuesday from the driveway. I haven't even left my chair. It's done. The car is gone. I'm holding a check anyway. Carvana, give it a whirl.

[Chris]

Love you.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

So good you'll want to leave a voicemail about it. Sell your car today on car pickup fees may apply.

[Dan Soder]

Hey, everybody. If you are in Key West, Florida, June 1 and June 2, I'm going to be doing comedy. Key west. Go to dan soder.com to get those tickets. Got a huge announcement coming up of all the clubs I'm going to be hitting soon, including the Comedy Vault in Batavia. We got New York Comedy Club in Stanford. That's going to be awesome. The Port in Baltimore and a bunch of other clubs where I'm. I'm working on the building the new hour. So we're going to have an announcement soon with a. A poster and everything. It's not a tour because it's not really a tour. It's just me on the road building a new hour. Dance. Order.com for tickets. Enjoy the episode. Because for those of you that don't know Wrestle Kingdom is New Japan Pro Wrestling, it usually is their. It's their Wrestlemania. It's always on New Year's or like a couple days after New Year's, but it's on crazy time. It's Japan.

[Chris]

Japan's time.

[Dan Soder]

And they sell out The Tokyo Dome. 100,000 people. Some of the best matches you'll ever see happen. I mean, Osprey Omega. I'm an Omega guy, so.

[Chris]

Osprey Omega, that was great.

[Dan Soder]

I mean, I mean, but you go back to, like, Shinsuke Nakamura, all his matches when he was like the IC him versus aj.

[Chris]

Styles is a great match that they like, completely flubbed in WWE.

[Dan Soder]

Like that WrestleMania match. I don't if for Those of you that remember the WrestleMania match between Nakamura and Styles at WrestleMania, it was before WrestleMania broke into two days.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

And it was like a nine hour pay per view and you felt the audience go like. And that was the match everyone was stoked for.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

There's two indie guys or a New Japan guy and an indie guy.

[Chris]

It's four and a half hours in, though.

[Dan Soder]

It was so tiring.

[Chris]

I can't imagine like sitting. That was. Was that in the one in New York?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, I remember that was at MetLife.

[Chris]

I hung out with you. Like, even like, I was like, people were like, do you want to go to that? There's like, you can get tickets online for not that expensive. I'm like, dude, I've watched five live wrestling shows. Like, I went with you to the busted open thing that you did.

[Dan Soder]

Great.

[Chris]

And then Catalytic Catalyst Wrestling did a show that I worked and then I like went to Super Card and then I was just like, I didn't even want to watch WrestleMania. I was just like, there's just been so much indie. I went to like random indie shows

[Dan Soder]

in Brooklyn that week of.

[Chris]

Yeah, I was just so exhausted. I remember like, Scott Chaplin went to like, he was like, we were watching something. We were watching NXT doing live commentary at Gas. And Scott was like, I gotta leave now. I gotta go to a show. And I'm just like, didn't you come from a show?

[Dan Soder]

It is like when you grow up and you meet dudes that are really horny.

[Chris]

Oh, yeah.

[Dan Soder]

And you realize, you go, oh, I don't think I've ever been horny.

[Chris]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Where they go like, no, I need it again right now. And you go, what, you're not satiated with you just, you know, guy whose

[Chris]

girlfriend leaves and calls a hooker.

[Dan Soder]

Yes.

[Chris]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Like those guys. I'm always like, man, that to me in my mind, as someone that can't drink anymore, just because I do it too much. I think that's the worst of all. Food addiction, I think is the worst. Like when those people are like morbidly obese.

[Chris]

The only thing that broke me a food addiction was Covid restaurants because I was like a fancy food.

[Dan Soder]

Really?

[Chris]

Yeah, dude. When I started doing open mics, I would get so depressed. I'm in my 30s and I was like flush with cash at the time.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Chris]

I would literally do an open mic and then go to like marea by myself and eat a 12 course meal and then go do two more open

[Dan Soder]

mics just to take the beating, just to get through that does sound almost like a. So like a weird way of S M with food and comedy.

[Chris]

So, like, because I used to be so fat and like by that point where you. I was £300 at my fattest. And then I just.

[Dan Soder]

I don't think I ever knew you fat.

[Chris]

You knew me like chunky. Like I had re. Chunked.

[Dan Soder]

Okay.

[Chris]

Like, you know what I mean? Like, and my weight has gone up and down like a bunch. But like, it's been like pretty steady since COVID happened. But like I was like the way like, you know, like a heroin addict like, lays out their needles because they just got out of the joint, you know, like, that's how I was with food once I got skinny. Like, I was like methodical with it.

[Dan Soder]

Like, I was like, what would you say? Because you always need to ask if you were a sex addict. I would ask what's the best night of sex you ever had? If you were in den. What's that?

[Chris]

Le Bernardin Liberty. Also by myself. I would go to these restaurants by myself. So that's. I went to a three Michelin restaurant in Hong Kong alone.

[Dan Soder]

Okay, let me ask. So let me ask the question. Clean. What is the best meal you've ever had?

[Chris]

Le Bernardin was my favorite.

[Dan Soder]

And where is that?

[Chris]

That's in Manhattan.

[Dan Soder]

In Manhattan?

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Three parts, three star Michelin restaurant.

[Chris]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dan Soder]

What kind of food?

[Chris]

It's like mostly seafood, but it's like a 12 course thing. And then I like ordered some. They just like threw me stuff. My favorite place to go though for a while was there was this place Boulay, which was two Michelin stars, but they had the best deal for lunch. Oh, it was like, that's like a.

[Dan Soder]

That's like a sex. That's like a sex addict in those strip clubs.

[Chris]

Yeah, yeah. You go on a Tuesday so you get more attention. When I was fat, a strip club guy because I was eating junk. And then when I lost the weight, I was like, I can get pussy now.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Chris]

So I was just like, I'm just going to fancy as restaurants.

[Dan Soder]

So my, my feeling with fancy restaurants is the same feeling I have whenever I've like gotten behind the wheel of like a very powerful car.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Dan Soder]

Where I go, this is wasted on me.

[Chris]

I see.

[Dan Soder]

Give me a Nissan Maxima and I feel like I'm in a race car. Like, I go to like a decent restaurant and I'm like, this is really nice to me. But guys like you, Tim Dylan's very similar to that. Yeah, Tim Dylan's the only person Ralph too ra. Yeah. But Tim is the only person I know whose pocketbook caught up to his tastes. So, like he would do that, but he had no money. But he'd be like, we're gonna go get this fantastic meal. So now when you're around him, you're like, I feel like you're the only other person I've ever met where we need to get your. We need to get your pocketbook flush again.

[Chris]

Oh, it's gonna be a problem. It would be a problem.

[Dan Soder]

It would it.

[Chris]

Really? Somebody was just describing to me they had like a guest Nigerian chef at Keens. My buddy Keith was just saying, keen Steakhouse.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Chris]

And he was like, yo, he's like hanging a tomahawk. He's like, I ate a tomahawk for two to the face on my birthday. And he was like, it was just basically they hang this steak, they char grill and then like the, the juices all drip into this plate and then they make a jus out of that, put it over the top. I was like, I would go eat that alone right now. I would sit there. No headphones on.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Just sit there. Meth likely eat it just like a serial killer.

[Dan Soder]

Just casually hacking it apart.

[Chris]

And I would go to this place because I'm like a mook. Even like the places you have to wear a jacket. Like that place Le Bernardin. I'm in there and I'm wearing a nice sport coat or whatever.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Chris]

And this guy's looking at me weird from like a another table. I was just like, why is this guy looking at me? And then I realized like, he's like, oh, I have like a 200 watch on and he's got a twenty thousand dollar Patek Philippe on. And he's like, how the. Why are we eating the same meal? Peon.

[Dan Soder]

That's got. That's gotta be. That's the jealousy in the strip club where the old guy that comes and gives a lot of money and then the stripper sees a cute young guy that's paying her. And then he's like, no, I'm the one giving you the big. That's the same jealousy dude at Columns.

[Chris]

Bachelor party pimp was there. This girl was just sitting and talking to me the whole time. Like, young girl, pretty. And she's just like, didn't get a laugh dance from her once. We're just chatting the whole time.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Chris]

And she's just like, you just remind me. And I finally go, is it your boyfriend? Are you talking about your boyfriend? It's like, I don't care that you have a boyfriend. She's just like. She's just like, yeah. And I was like, that's fine. I was like, you are saving me so much fucking money by sitting here. No. Nobody else has asked me to get a dance. And I would have wasted because I was fucking. You know, it's bachelor party. I was all fucked up.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. I was like, did you guys on Legion of skanks when that group. You guys, like, stop by Legion of skanks? I think before you went out, the coke eyes on everyone. When I watched that episode column was like, come to my bachelor party. You got to come to my bachelor party. And I was like, I don't know, man. I don't really do well in Bachelor. I would probably say the two things I don't do anymore at all are Vegas and bachelor parties.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Dan Soder]

Because I don't drink.

[Chris]

Yeah. Without booze.

[Dan Soder]

And I've been to. I've been to with it. I can't go without it.

[Chris]

So the boot. Like, that's the thing. It's like, you can't. I can't be around strippers without booze. Like, it's like when people are like, yo, this place is bottomless, but there's no boo. I'm like, yeah, but I can't suspend the disbelief. Like, I can't. Like, you have to suspend disbelief. And the only way that you're suspending disbelief in a strip club is like, three shots, seven beers.

[Dan Soder]

You need to be rap video bumps. You need to be so drunk, you feel like you're in a rap video.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Where they're just dancing because you're so cool. They just want to dance on you.

[Chris]

It's for you.

[Dan Soder]

Yes.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Because when you go in and you have any sort of connection of humanity in a strip club, place feels way different. Place feels way different.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

You just go in and you're like, oh, you're dancing because you're sad and you need the money. But when you're drunk, you're like, God damn, I make you horny, don't I? Here's 20 bucks.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

And they're like, oh, daddy. The funniest was.

[Chris]

I mean, I'm still mad at Chris Rock for lying to me about the no sex in the champagne room thing.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. That's a absolute.

[Chris]

What a lion. Piece of.

[Dan Soder]

He's an absolute lie.

[Chris]

Smith smacked him in the face.

[Dan Soder]

There's a lot of sex in the champagne room. Yeah, there was.

[Chris]

They're weirded out if you don't try.

[Dan Soder]

Have you ever did you ever go to Montreal, those strip clubs, because you grew up in New York?

[Chris]

I went to one or two when I was up there the last time. But it's like, here's the thing. It's like, if you're in a spot like that, so it's like you met. Oh, it was when I. I saw you in Montreal that time. Remember, I was up there with a bunch of my boys randomly when JFL was going on, and we were just drinking. It was before I was even doing standup. I was just drinking. But I, like, went to. Stanley was doing Bennington. You were doing Comedy 101, and Paper Face closed it. So he's a strip club guy. So you need a guy like that. I've seen him tip strippers with a mozzarella stick. Like, you know what I mean?

[Dan Soder]

Funny. Like, what is the reaction to getting tipped with a mozzarella stick?

[Chris]

He's just such a strip club guy that they're into it. Like, it's like he speaks the lingo dud. Like, they just see him and they're just like, oh, this is going to be fun. Like, he walks in with a box on his. Like, he'll do it.

[Dan Soder]

He.

[Chris]

Dude, he did a rap show at this place, Liquid Assets. That was on one of those, like, haunted place shows. Like, he did a strip club. He did a.

[Dan Soder]

Wait, it was a haunted strip club?

[Chris]

It was. It was on one of these, like, haunted place shows. The owner's, like, a car. Like, an Italian guy. But they would have, like, Jada Kiss there and, like, Jewel Santana would do a show. And then the guy just saw Pape with the. With the bag on one at the club one night, and he was like, oh, you rap? Why don't you do a show here? And then at one point, he got paid in a bottle of Ciroc.

[Dan Soder]

Great.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

What flavor?

[Chris]

Probably grape.

[Dan Soder]

More than likely.

[Chris]

More than likely grape. And then I remember at one point, like, the strippers were just annoyed. It was just a bunch of us that were there to hang out with him. And then, like, some of us were kind of, like, getting lap dances and stuff. But you could tell that, like, the regulars were pissed off because it wasn't, like, a famous rapper. No, it was just this guy.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Chris]

And all with the mic. You hear this old Italian guy go, yeah, that was Paper Face. You're gonna see Paper Face again real soon. Because even if you don't like Paper Face, I love paper.

[Dan Soder]

That's great. That's what you want. You want the owner of the strip club Being like, I had a great time tonight.

[Chris]

Yeah, this was a blast.

[Dan Soder]

The girls are mad, but I'm having a blast.

[Chris]

Yeah. I basically own them.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. He goes, they don't know their real families are. I got them out of a shipping crate. That's the reason, like, booze does help those things with, with meals. Do you like to drink?

[Chris]

Yeah, I'll have like a cup, but like, I'm not getting drunk.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Like, it's like I'll like order a drink while I'm waiting for the first course and then I'll have like a glass of wine. Like, I'm not like, Maybe I like 11 Madison park does like some really good cocktails. And like, I knew the head bartender at one point, so I would do the cocktails there because the guy even like, kind of knew what I liked, you know what I mean? So it was like kind of that.

[Dan Soder]

People that move through the restaurant world of New York always impress me because they always like, know where to go. My friend, my friends like that. I got a buddy I grew up with that moved here and he's like, can move through the world where he's like, oh, they got a new chef. Like that sentence where it's like, oh, they got a new chef at this restaurant. How do you know that? What are the trades that you're reading?

[Chris]

Well, if you just work. I mean, because you only worked at the one restaurant here.

[Dan Soder]

I worked at. I only worked at one restaurant in New York and it was like those Caminos at the time. A beard guest restaurant.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Dan Soder]

Be our guest. Owned a lot of restaurants. They owned like Ruby Foods. Okay. But all those Grill, Water Grill.

[Chris]

Oh, those are all like high end chains though.

[Dan Soder]

You know what it was because you, you're a fancy restaurant guy. They were nice.

[Chris]

Applebee's, like a McCormick and Schmicks or something like that.

[Dan Soder]

I would say, yeah, I would say it's a little below that. It was. So when I lived in Arizona, you would, you would watch these, these things. When I lived in Tucson, you would see these apartment complex go up because it's the desert. So you can build wherever. These apartment complex would go up and they'd be huge with a pool and it would be like the coolest apartment complex at the University of Arizona for two years. Everyone would be like, you go into. You going to like Star Ranch. Are you going to like all these like uni house? You're going to go to these. And it's these giant buildings. But then you would go and like, I had friends that Lived there. I lived at one, eventually.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Dan Soder]

And then you go in and you go, oh, this is made really shitty. This is made like. They pop this up, they put a pool in. They made it a party place. The drywall is like paper thin.

[Chris]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dan Soder]

It just.

[Chris]

Cabinets are falling off as soon as you move in.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, it looks really nice for the first two years. By year five, you're like, this is a apartment complex.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Dan Soder]

So that is kind of the feeling.

[Chris]

It was Tucson, like, so I've only been to Tucson once. It was also to visit somebody at U of A who was managing a strip club in his spare time.

[Dan Soder]

TD TDs, probably. TDs west or TDs east, maybe.

[Chris]

No, it was only one location. I met the guy who was the son of the owner of TDs, like, just in the street that night, and he, like pulled a gun out and just ran away.

[Dan Soder]

That's fun.

[Chris]

I was like, whoa, that was the weirdest. He just.

[Dan Soder]

Wait, he just pulled the gun and then was like.

[Chris]

I was wearing like a Yankee hat. So we started talking to me and my boy who came with me, and my boy who was out there in U of A, just started talking to us about New York and how he's been here a bunch of times. And he was like. He's like, yeah, I don't even remember the name. My buddy Kevin was managing the strip club. I don't even remember the name of the club, but he was like, oh, yeah, who zones this one?

[Dan Soder]

Centerfolds maybe? Centerfolds is Denver. What was the other one?

[Chris]

Dude, it's like, yeah, over 10 years ago. There's no way I'm gonna remember the name of this strip club. But he was like, yeah, they own this one. And then he was like, my dad owns this one and then this one. And then he goes. And we're talking for like 10 minutes, and he just goes, oh, yo, I got beef with that guy. And just goes into his glove box, pulls out a nine, clocks it and just starts running. And I looked at my boys and like, we gotta go. Go.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Chris]

No, I didn't hear any gunshots. I don't know what the happened.

[Dan Soder]

Tucson was wild. Tucson, though, if you love comedy that keeps you guessing, playoff hockey is right up your alley.

[Chris]

NHL on TNT has the best coverage and it is just as entertaining as a great stand up set. Paul Bissonnet is hilarious on the panel

[Dan Soder]

and Wayne Gretzky breaks down the action like a pro.

[Chris]

Every game is intense with overtime and big hits that make every shift matter. Studio Coverage adds to the fun, making it the best place to watch. Watch the Stanley cup playoffs on TNT, TBS, TruTV and HBO. Max.

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[Chris]

Not for nothing. Like, the bars are fun.

[Dan Soder]

Very fun. Great college town. Great college town. And very fun if you're like gonna live there and around for a little bit.

[Chris]

Yeah. Inexpensive. The desert's great. You just go out in the desert, blast a cactus with a shotgun.

[Dan Soder]

Did that. I got to do that with an AK47, which is also. Yeah, yeah.

[Chris]

Oh, really?

[Dan Soder]

Oh, dude, you just go to the desert and shoot. Yeah, my buddy.

[Chris]

Go to the dollar store and buy a bunch of. Just blast it, dude.

[Dan Soder]

My buddy, My buddy Jersey Mike. So I still see I'm not going to give his legal name because I'm.

[Chris]

Well now he owns this chain of sub shots.

[Dan Soder]

You are. Dude, that was. So that came out and he was like. Because his nickname in college was Jersey Mike. And then now Danny DeVito and Eli are pushing his commercials. But he had an AK40. He had a couple, a couple guns.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Dan Soder]

But he would. You'd be hungover on a Saturday. He'd be like, you want to go out to the desert and shoot? Exactly what you do. You go buy a junk store.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

You know, the best time was to do. It is now January because it was warm enough, you could go outside and all the Christmas was like 75 off. So you buy like those plastic.

[Chris]

In Arizona, you can get a black Santa for like a nickel.

[Dan Soder]

They don't even want it. They. They're like, that's a misprint. That's a misprint. You go, santa can be black for black people. Like, oh, that's a misprint.

[Chris]

We don't have any here. It's the prior joke. There are no brothers in Arizona.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. But they really. We just go shoot. And you would like go out to the desert and like, he had a truck you just put his bed down and you, like, lay out all the. You know, shoot guns, smoke a joint, and go back into the city. Also, you could go to gun ranges there, which is something that I would

[Chris]

do, because you can rent guns and swap them out. Right. Really fun.

[Dan Soder]

You could. You could rent, like, really cool guns and be like, well, I would never be able to shoot this.

[Chris]

You could do that in Colorado, where you're from, right?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. But not as easy.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Dan Soder]

Arizona. It was, like, on every block.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

You had. You could. It was a stone's throw from anywhere you were. You're like, I wouldn't go shoot guns over there. Yeah, it was. Dude. My old roommate.

[Chris]

It's like. It was like. It's like pool halls in the 90s in New York.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. They were just everywhere. Dude.

[Chris]

We.

[Dan Soder]

My roommate, who I. If you watch the Comedy Central story about us getting robbed when he sold weed, the gun he bought, he just, like, went to a gun show and was like, he's just some Long island dude. He's like, yeah, what's the cheapest gun you got? I remember the guy at the gun show went, what? And he was like, cheapest gun that you have. And he's like, that's not a good thing.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Amir thought he was getting, like, a deal. He was like, no, I want a deal. And then he bought a gun that we took. That was one of the reasons we went to the range for the first time.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Dan Soder]

Because he's like, I want to try this out. And it shot like. It shot bad. It, like, carried to the left.

[Chris]

You had to do the.

[Dan Soder]

I don't know what that is in the gun world, but I was like, this doesn't work.

[Chris]

You did do the Angela, Lena, Jolie, and Wall.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. They got, like, just to even. Just even to clip the target. But, yeah, I would. Tucson was, like, a great place. That's. That has a feeling of lawlessness.

[Chris]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dan Soder]

It has a feeling of, like, people that live here. The guy that Mario Puzo based the Godfather on retired in Tucson.

[Chris]

Oh, really?

[Dan Soder]

Because they would all. You drive by, you know, this was like when you would drive around and smoke weed, and my friend would always like, godfather house. I forget where it was in Tucson, but it was the former head of the mob. You could probably look it up. Retired to Tucson.

[Chris]

Damn.

[Dan Soder]

So there's people there that. You have that feeling where you're like, that guy pulling the gun out. You go, well, you're too crazy for New York.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Because if you just did that in

[Chris]

New York, you'd be in jail forever.

[Dan Soder]

Forever, dude. Put your rikers. And they go like, we're not letting you out.

[Chris]

Yeah, yeah, you're gonna die of starvation somewhere.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. But Tucson, there's almost this, like, embracing of the lawlessness. Yeah.

[Chris]

It's very cowboyish, which is like the opposite of. I was actually going to ask you this. Like, you said those things would be shitty in two years. Does Tucson have the same need for places with divorced dads that, like, Phoenix does?

[Dan Soder]

Probably. Probably. I just didn't know it because I was in college, so I was just witnessing that where I was like, oh, they just build these apartment complexes and kind of let them rot. That's a little bit of what Be our guest did. They would, like, build these restaurants that were, like, super cool and, like, in demand? When I worked at Dos Caminos.

[Chris]

Yeah, I lived in that area, like 50th and 3rd. I thought you worked at the. Wasn't there one also downtown?

[Dan Soder]

Like, there's like, there was four at one time.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Dan Soder]

There was meat packing, There was soho.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Dan Soder]

There was Dose third. Okay. And then there was four of them, I think Vegas. There was one in the, like, in one of the casinos for a while. So they would build it and they'd be really cool. But then within four years, you were like, starting to rot. I was there for, like five years and I watched it go from being, like, really cool to being like, there's a cooler restaurant down the street.

[Chris]

Because the workplace culture in a place like that is not great. Like, it's not like even, like, turnover

[Dan Soder]

is just non stop.

[Chris]

Yeah, because that's what you said. Like, you don't, like, know if there's a new chef in a place or whatever. It's like, is that a lot of that? Because, like, in a restaurant like that, you're not getting these people that are like sort of service industry lifers.

[Dan Soder]

No, you're not. You're getting people. That's a great point. Yeah, you're good. Restaurants rely on lifers.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

You want someone that waits, even if

[Chris]

they're just passing through.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Chris]

Somebody with that experience.

[Dan Soder]

But they take waiting tables seriously.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

And when you wait tables, you see the people that do take it seriously and you go, go to a steakhouse. Like, go do something. But that was like. It was gringo Mexican. It was white people serving you Mexican food. So they want, like. And it was like, dude, the remixes that they would play, it'd be like a Mexican ver. It would be like a blend of Cold play with Mariachi and you're like, I'm gonna kill myself. There are some songs. There's songs that I get triggered like a Manchurian Candidate when I hear them.

[Chris]

Really?

[Dan Soder]

I'll hear them from that playlist and I'll be like, I'm double sat. Like, you just hear the choppers going over. It's not like non vets probably went nuts with Credence for a while where they're like, don't play Credence around me.

[Chris]

They're probably playing right now. They're probably playing that Dolly Parton Pitbull song non stop.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, my God. It would be like, like that. Where you'd be like, I hate this. Or like lower level indie rock songs that just made weird noises but sounded cool.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Dan Soder]

So they just play that all the time. But the clientele was all Wall street people.

[Chris]

Yeah. It's these guys who think they're classy but don't know anything about anything. They just want to know that they're spending money.

[Dan Soder]

Yes. So that's how you'd make money for me is you selling patron margaritas? Because we knew, like, you had to do, like, by the way, I'm not saying be our guest slapped together. They trained you at Dos Caminos to, like. You had to learn tequila. You had to, like, learn. But they would. Because they're trying to get you to upsell.

[Chris]

Sure.

[Dan Soder]

But.

[Chris]

But there's also. It's also like, they're. They're training you, but they're really just being like, okay, we have all these actors. Let's just give them the script.

[Dan Soder]

That's exactly it. Like, it's exactly it. And then you have. You have all these, like, actors that want to make it or comics. And then you have just, like, high priced drinks. But, dude, they would hire, like, girls that were, like, hot actresses.

[Chris]

Yeah, of course.

[Dan Soder]

And then they would sell a ton of tequila because all these businessmen are like, well, I. I have a career. You, dude. Watching girls get picked up. Because you know the turnover in the restaurant industry.

[Chris]

Oh, yeah.

[Dan Soder]

But you'd watch a cute girl start, and then you would, like, watch her flirt with, like, a couple of Wall street guys. And you're like, they're absolutely gonna start dating one of them.

[Chris]

Oh, yeah, that's why they're there.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. It literally was like, them, like the Wall street guys were coming by for enchiladas and to pick up a girlfriend.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Like, who's that girl? Oh, dude, 21, right? Yeah, I had a table. I used to work doubles. And so, like, I would Close lunch, take my break. But the dinner shift would start because, you know, you close lunch all the way up till the dinner takes over.

[Chris]

Okay?

[Dan Soder]

So I'd take my break, but the dinner shift had already, like, had like, a half an hour, 45 minutes, which I'd give a couple of people my tables. That's fine. But one time I was coming back on the floor, and I think I've told the story on the podcast before, but this cute girl that I worked with, like, came up to me, and she's like, I started table fucking whatever. Like 314, four guys, four double margaritas, four double. Two double guacs. It's like the bill was already sitting at, like, $200 before entrees. And I was like, let's fucking go. And I walked up to the table, and I was like, hey, gu. I'm your waiter. And collectively, they went, oh. And I was like. And I went back to some of those double guacs. Yeah. And I went back to her, and I was like, why don't you take the table? And. And then at the end, she was like, they were so nice. And I was like. To you. They were.

[Chris]

Yeah, I was. I was working at a bar at one point, a long time ago, and I remember some girl just, like, left a resume. She was cute or whatever, and I gave it to the owner, and he was like, there's no picture on this resume. And I go, I mean, she's got a lot of experience. She's like, if I don't know what she looks like, I can't hire her. I mean, I might be calling this phone number.

[Dan Soder]

Some restaurant managers are pure slime balls, but some of them have a little slime on it because they know that's how you grease the wheels and make the restaurant. Oh, yeah, we hired. We used to have a large turnover of managers. We had a lot of great managers, like, people. I became lifelong friends with some of my managers, but some of these guys that corporate would bring in, because they'd be like, hey, we want them to train on the cafe.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Dan Soder]

At 50th and third. And then break with this dude. I don't remember his last name. Just like, a bulldog of a man. But he was very, very short, very muscular, and very, like, strip club manager.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Dan Soder]

Was the vibe he had. But he had his suit, and he would, like, you know, hit his little zip card to, like. Okay.

[Chris]

To avoid or whatever. Yes.

[Dan Soder]

Void capabilities, as Jay calls it. Big J called, but he would just void or whatever. This girl started working there that every straight man on staff was like, like jaw dropped. She was like just thick as, like, she was like spilling out of her top and wore like a very small dress and was very, very flirty. And she had this one manager around her finger. She was a horrible waitress. She was a horrible waitress. And he would give her like six table sections and other waiters would be like, like, what are you doing? She would be so in the weeds, and he would be like jumping in and helping out. That that's where it gave up that you were like, oh, you want to her so bad, you're back waitering for her.

[Chris]

Wow.

[Dan Soder]

Like, when we saw it because it was lunch. So the lunch pop is like, it's all at once.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Dan Soder]

But watching him like go and like pre bus and drop and like run stuff to her tables. And you're like, but he's not helping anyone else out. And we're like, you fucking. And by the way, she loudly had a boyfriend. Loudly. Who's like a fucking huge Albanian dude. So you don't want to fuck with. Yeah.

[Chris]

Most barrel somewhere on the Belt Parkway.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. I'm not getting. I don't want to see. The last thing I see is Adidas pants as I get stuffed in a bag. But I was like, every guy that heard that, like me was like, ah, fuck that. Fuck that. I'm going around the corner to CV6 and I'm having a beer. I'm not talking that bitch. That was like always the vibe. But watching that I. Michael was his name. I'll always remember watching Michael back weight for her in a way that I was like, she's not gonna.

[Chris]

You, dude. When I was a door guy, I used to end up having to wait tables all the time because, like, just the owner started banging the waitress that was on my shift. And I was like, wait, so I'm not getting. So we had a slow night. I just got like. He'd be like, oh, it's slow. We're just gonna leave. And I'd be like, oh, like, so it's a slow night. I'm not getting my 20 an hour that I would get as the door guy. I'm getting just hit in the tip pool.

[Dan Soder]

So wait, this is. You're a door guy at a restaurant bar. At a bar.

[Chris]

But it was like cocktails.

[Dan Soder]

Okay. And then he started banging one of the waitresses.

[Chris]

Yeah. And then like, I would show up like, later. I would show up at like 8.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Chris]

The door. So now I'm working the door and waiting tables and like, if it was a slow night. I'm making less money.

[Dan Soder]

So they wouldn't let you stay on the $20 and get tips.

[Chris]

I think at one point I was just like, hey, like, so when this is, if it ends up being a slow night and I'm making less money, I don't think that's really fair. And they were like, okay, like, you can choose one or the other. Like, or you can get out or you get a half a tip share. That would make me and keep the 20 an hour. And I was like, that was fine.

[Dan Soder]

That's okay.

[Chris]

Yeah. But I am doing two jobs.

[Dan Soder]

Restaurants really can just. You just start working for them and they go, here's how we're going to treat you.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Like absolute.

[Chris]

I say this about every, about every, like, independent, like restaurant or bar. It's, we're a team until all of a sudden there's money. And then it's like, I will fire you.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Like, it's like, we're a team. We're all in this together when there's no money. And then all of a sudden the amount of guys I know who like opened bars, who were like, promised sweat equity and then all of a sudden there was money and they were like, I remember talking about that. Yeah, oh, fudge, you. And now I need this job because it's finally starting to pay.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. Especially like that because the restaurant industry is so many misses. You know, they always say, like, you start something, you're going to go in the red for the first like five or six years until if you're lucky to go in the black.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

And the second it starts going in the black, they go, we're bringing in better employees.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

What do you think? But that feels like that happens with almost everything in America now where it gets good the way it is and then they make money and they switch it. They're like three card mont. They like switch it and they go, oh, it's not the same product. This sucks.

[Chris]

Yeah. But if you do that, like, I don't. People eventually figure it out and now you're not making money again.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

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[Dan Soder]

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[Dan Soder]

like that is my fear. With the WWE that we were talking about, it got taken over by tko, which owns UFC and stuff.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

And it's like, listen, pbr.

[Chris]

Don't forget pbr.

[Dan Soder]

They own pbr.

[Chris]

Not the beer, the bull riding company.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, yeah, they own. We watched that one day. Katie and I were bored and we just watched.

[Chris]

I went to it at the Garden. It's a blast.

[Dan Soder]

It's very. The team rodeo thing. What a concept. As someone that used to go to the Western stock show in Colorado and watch the actual rodeo teams makes it way better.

[Chris]

Oh, yeah.

[Dan Soder]

You go, this guy's gonna ride the bull longer. And then like, they have like a really good one and then he gets kicked off and you're like, someone's gotta step up.

[Chris]

I think they had to make teams just because at first it was just the individual guys. Now they have the team version and it's like that just makes it easier to gamble on. Yeah, they need the gambling spot. Every. Every sports league needs a gambling sponsorship.

[Dan Soder]

Would you see now they're starting to do gambling on, like, ending of TV shows. There's like, like, yeah, like politicians. You can like pick who's gonna win, which.

[Chris]

That's like Poly Market is just doing that. Yeah, it's just insider trading, essentially.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, that's it.

[Chris]

You just lay a heavy bet. Like, they, like, said it was like some corporate guy was like, how he would end his speech and then literally Ends the speech went, sorry, polymarket. Like, so it's like, what did you lay on yourself to not do this thing?

[Dan Soder]

Crazy. That's what I mean. Where it's like, man. Also, I would make the argument if you got into sports because of gambling, you're not into sports. Oh, okay.

[Chris]

Yeah, that's fair.

[Dan Soder]

It's like, you don't like ball. You just like betting on it. You just want the.

[Chris]

Just get a racing form. Like, what are you doing? They literally have entire sports that are built for this.

[Dan Soder]

Horse racing.

[Chris]

Horse racing. And like, high lie.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. There's highlight down in Florida. It's just a gambling day.

[Chris]

But now it's all on the Internet. You could just do it.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. Like, there's a thing. There's like a dark thing that Katie showed me. There's like a whole Russian industry. Someone did an ex, maybe John Oliver. Someone did an expose on this. But it's sports just for the sake of gambling. So it's like two guys sitting down, kicking a soccer ball at each other. And when. And they're like, one's wearing red, one's wearing blue, and you just bet on it.

[Chris]

It's like.

[Dan Soder]

And it's like students dystopian. It's like 70 videos of watching people gamble on. Like, they're just like. It's like, remember the casino?

[Chris]

I was literally thinking that when you said that. This is a different kind of casino.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Guess the number.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. War. He keeps playing war. Yeah. The buffet there. Yeah. Oh, yellow's looking mighty fine today, Clark. But it really. America's becoming that the casino. The. The casino from just. You're just like, yeah, let's bet on it. The fact that you can bet on a TV show. I have a friend, my friend Carlos, Shout out Los Legitimately unbelievable at predicting shows. He's a writer, but his. We met working at those, and he's a writer, and he's like. When I tell you he has predicted. He would predict seasons of billions. Okay? So, like, I was just a guy

[Chris]

holding a copy of Save the Cat. Like Biff and Back to the Future.

[Dan Soder]

He's got all of them, and he's just fucking. He's got. Someone visited him from the future, but he would guess. Like, we would film the season of billions and it would be like, starting to come out, and he would, like, text me, and I would never tell him if he was right or wrong till the end. One season he got like four out of five things right.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Dan Soder]

One season he got like three out of five things right. And then he comes back and goes, five or five. And you're like, dude, this guy knows his shit.

[Chris]

Okay?

[Dan Soder]

He should be getting on this app.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Why wouldn't you?

[Chris]

I don't know, but they limit those bets. Like, prop bets at least. Or is.

[Dan Soder]

That's what. I don't know. Yeah, I don't. I don't get in the mud that

[Chris]

much because it must, like, be a thing where it's like. Like, if the writers of the show find out, what's to stop you from laying money on your own?

[Dan Soder]

Hurry up.

[Chris]

Your money.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, you dummy.

[Chris]

Double your money.

[Dan Soder]

Or just call your sister.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Hey, want to make some.

[Chris]

Want to make.

[Dan Soder]

Remember that Marvel show I was on? Yeah, go here. Daredevil dies at the end. She goes, oh, okay. All right.

[Chris]

Well, I guess that's. I was looking forward to that, but okay.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, no. Yeah. I love that show.

[Chris]

The Daredevil, the new one.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Chris]

I thought it was pretty good. Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Well, as long as I never have

[Chris]

to see another season of Iron Fist, I'm good. That was trash.

[Dan Soder]

That was like. That was like when a celebrity is feeling themselves and they do a music album and you go. It does a crossover. I. I was like, Luke Cage, I liked.

[Chris]

Yeah, it was good.

[Dan Soder]

But then Iron Fist, you're like, yeah. What were you guys doing? It's rough. It wasn't bad enough to watch and make fun of in a film.

[Chris]

Also, if you're going to just make a character, another ethnicity, just make Iron Fist Asian. What are we doing here?

[Dan Soder]

Iron Fist, just do it.

[Chris]

Like, he was just supposed. Like, him and like, Shang Chi. They were all just supposed to cash in on, like, the kung fu movie craze in the 70s.

[Dan Soder]

That's it.

[Chris]

Like, Luke Cage was just like, oh, like, blackmail.

[Dan Soder]

Black story. It was the black. The black exploitation Black Panther.

[Chris]

That's just what that is.

[Dan Soder]

That's what. Yeah, that's all. It's. What's up.

[Chris]

Did you see this?

[Dan Soder]

300k won for betting a gay couple would be the first featured Kiss at New Year's NYC New Year's Countdown show.

[Chris]

I mean, what the. Would the odds must have been against you on that one. Like, it's like, of course it is.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. What are you talking about? That probably wasn't even a good bet if you looked at that on paper. But the guy also is in a maga hat. It's like, I think he's watching that. So he can also jerk off to it later. Yeah. Because those guys that are so obsessed with gay watch. Yeah. You go, I think you just want to fuck dudes. I don't think you, like, actually think this is polluting our society.

[Chris]

Yeah, yeah. You don't want trans women in the female locker room because you'd like to see them in the male locker room in your mouth.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, yeah, we get it. That's always, like, the DOS protests too much, where they're like. They're just everywhere, and their butts are so nice, and just the way they.

[Chris]

They really just taste so goddamn good. I can't get them out of my mouth.

[Dan Soder]

And when they. They just keep going.

[Chris]

There was a Tootsie Roll in the middle.

[Dan Soder]

The guy sucked it like he needed it. But I. It is like watching stuff get built up and then watching it, like, suck. And then they sell it like, this doesn't suck anymore. And you're like, I hate that. They do that to almost everything.

[Chris]

Everything.

[Dan Soder]

Almost everything.

[Chris]

Anything. You kind of like. And it's just like, even, like, with Marvel, like, Disney just bought them, and it, like. It was like. The whole thing was like, oh, we're gonna go out of business if we don't try something. So we're gonna take Iron man, who was never a popular character. No, I liked Iron man because he was, like, a drunk. Yeah, Just like, drunk driving armor is hilarious, dude.

[Dan Soder]

Having a space suit and you're hammered. Yeah. You've had a three martini lunch, and you go, those thrusters hit way different when you know he's hammered. When they took that out of it, it's like, oh, yeah. It's like, oh, the Hulk's not mad. He's just emotionally distressed. You're like, no, the whole thing about anger, it's about alcohol.

[Chris]

Even, like, the she Hulk thing. Women are always angry. It was like the whole point of Bruce. In the comics, Bruce Banner got, like, beat to death by his. Like, near to death every day by his dad. That was the whole thing.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. His anger was from abuse.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

You know what's weird, man, is, you know, we grew up in the same era of, like, loving comic books. Death of Superman coming out, like, it being a big thing. And I remember, like, the Batman craze, the Tim Burton Batman craze. And then I remember it wearing off. But if you would have told me at 11 years old that I'd be sick of superhero movies that I don't

[Chris]

even need, especially after. In between Batman Returns and Batman Forever. If you had said that to me, I'd be like, get the out out of here.

[Dan Soder]

I'd be like, you're out of your.

[Chris]

You mean they're going to do them Connected like the comic books. I don't have to watch the same origin story every movie.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, they're going to. If you would have told me that after Dark Knight, if you would have gone, you're going to get sick of comic books. I don't know. We're hitting our stride. You got one of the best directors doing the best version of Batman.

[Chris]

Dude. If you told 12 year old me that they were going to do the Infinity Gauntlet over six movies, I would have jizzed myself.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. If you would have told me even in my 20s when I was reading Planet Hulk that they were gonna do a version of that with fire. With Thor. Yeah, they're gonna do the Thor storyline from Planet Hulk.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

I would have been like, sign me up. Then you watch and you go, sorry, that was.

[Chris]

Yeah, it's not as good as Planet.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. You know, it really is. It's like how excited I was for fake boobs versus the first time you touch fake boobs. Like not good ones.

[Chris]

They're so much better now.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, that's what I mean. But I'm talking about early 2000s. The first time I touched fake boobs was maybe 03 04.

[Chris]

I was young when I touched fake boots for the first time because it was. My dad's restaurant was in front of like an hourly rate motel.

[Dan Soder]

Nice.

[Chris]

And like one of my jobs could

[Dan Soder]

get real sad to shoe hookers out

[Chris]

of the parking lot. Like, really?

[Dan Soder]

How old are you? 12. And you're shoeing hookers?

[Chris]

My dad was just like, get out there, kid.

[Dan Soder]

What would you use a broom?

[Chris]

I would just be like, guys, you can't just go over there. Like, just go by the door over there. Like, I was like, I was like. And I knew the manager's name was Terry. I was like, terry doesn't give a. Like, just go over there.

[Dan Soder]

The thought.

[Chris]

Shout out Windjammer motoring.

[Dan Soder]

The thought of one hooker having her. So lowest moment is a 12 year old going, what are you doing?

[Chris]

Come on.

[Dan Soder]

And she goes, what am I doing?

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

I got a kid this age and I'm blowing guys for 20 a pop.

[Chris]

So yeah, like in between like washing giant amounts of dishes, I get shoot outside to kick hookers out of the parking lot. He's like, they like. He's just like, they listen to you. You're a kid.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. Like it was like the innocence of. Yeah. From the mouth of bear.

[Chris]

Well, because my dad also, when my mom first kicked him out, he lived in that motel. So it was Like, I was, like, desensitized. I remember seeing girls that would show up first and how hot they were, and then like a month later being like, ew. I was jerking off to that lady.

[Dan Soder]

That's crazy, dude.

[Chris]

And it's like the. The fake tip was like, this lady came by, and you could tell. She started smoking crack while married. She showed up with all of her jewelry and a coat, but crack mouth.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, yeah.

[Chris]

Like, you know, the.

[Dan Soder]

The pinched. It.

[Chris]

Not like bad teeth, but, like the pinched in wrinkly.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, it's where their lips disappear and everything kind of collapses.

[Chris]

She goes. She goes, I'd rather do this than sell any of my stuff. She goes, and also these. And she kept pulling her tits out, and they were just like. They were the ripples on the side. She was, like, older at that point. And she was like, you want to touch him? And I probably touched one real boob at that point in my life. And I was like, yeah, let's see what this is all about.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. And I was like, it was old school. Now they're great because they go under the muscle and they feel real. But the first time I remember touching a fake boob, it's like when you

[Chris]

pull a koosh ball that was like, with the squish in the middle out from under the couch after six months, you know what I mean? It's gotten, like, stale somehow.

[Dan Soder]

You go, how's this thing hard? What is made of? But I remember the first time I touched a fake boob. Like, maybe. I think, like, 03 04. It reminded me of one time when I was visiting my dad in San Francisco. He lived with my grandma, and she had a bowl of wax fruit. I didn't know what wax fruit was, so I goes, apple looks fresh. Just grabbed it, went. And I was like, ah. Like the bite in. And you're like, what the. That was how I felt when I grabbed it. Where I go, boobs are supposed to move. Titties are supposed to jiggle, right? Yeah. And you grab it and it was like, firm as fuck.

[Chris]

Aggressive.

[Dan Soder]

He was like, fucking grab me. And it was. It was a girl that worked probably at TDs. Okay. She lives in my apartment complex. Shout out, Erica. Hope she's safe. But she had ripples on the side because you could see the bag. She's a skinny girl, but she had, like, the ones that were like, over here. And she just lived in my apartment complex and would come by and get drunk and hang out. Let me grab her boot, grab on her boob. One Time. And I was like, this is sick. But I remember grabbing it, being like, whoa. But then like looking gay because I was like, like, sorry. Oh yeah.

[Chris]

I mean, I bet she was kind of used to that at the time, right?

[Dan Soder]

Like, that girl had a dark life.

[Chris]

Oh, really?

[Dan Soder]

She's. She. We would be drinking and she'd tell me a story one time and I'd be like, how old?

[Chris]

She's your age.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Chris]

So, yeah, if she had faked hits. You're in college.

[Dan Soder]

I was 20.

[Chris]

20. So she's 20 already with fake tits.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Like stripping. Especially back then when it was like, like now it's like you. You kind of see 20 year olds with fake tits because it's like so much more common.

[Dan Soder]

But they're doing. Only fans. They're doing that kind of. Back then when you saw you were like, like, damn. It was like when a kid skipped a grade. You're like, damn, you're mature. You got fake titties in your 20. I liked her. And this is, you know, most comics will always admit a lot of comics loved. Fell in love with sluts growing up. Like, that's a common thing.

[Chris]

Sluts are awesome.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, they're the best. But I remember I had this patio when I worked Tucson. When I did shout out to Rialto, Sagalo and I were driving around and I showed him where I lived, this apartment complex. And I showed him where I lived and I told him the story about there used to be like the tree would like go in front of my porch and be outside smoking cigarettes. And I liked that girl. And she came home in the strip club limo. Like the strip club limo like, brought her to the, you know, like the alcove where all the parking lot was. And she got out of her. Out of the limo.

[Chris]

And I heard out of the front

[Dan Soder]

seat, no, back seat. I was smoking a cigarette.

[Chris]

She got out of the front seat. Now you're like, oh, she was just blowing that dude.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. But at the time I was still. I was nine. I was 19 or 20. And I was still like, yeah, I know she strips, but she's really cute and we have fun when we hang out together. And I really. And she got out. She got out of the limo. And I was like, you couldn't. It was night in the. The tree was like mostly in front of me. And I was like, is that who I think it is? I was like doing that thing. And she gets out and I just hear a. I don't know from where just a dude's voice go hey. And she goes, hey, what are you guys doing? Like, we're just drinking. We're hanging out, drinking. She's like. And then I see the door open to the apartment, her going in, the door shut. And I was like, damn. That first feeling of like, I think I'm a loser.

[Chris]

Yeah, that'll happen. I've been there.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. That first feeling when you go, am I the sucker? Yeah.

[Chris]

What you know, it's a great freeing feeling is if you're still banging that chick and you know she's a whore, but then you realize it and you're like, wait, I can bang other chicks. So now I just have this.

[Dan Soder]

Very true.

[Chris]

And now I don't have to worry about the other girl making me feel bad because I could just slide into this to feel better because I'm a dark alcoholic at this point.

[Dan Soder]

Same.

[Chris]

Yeah.

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[Chris]

youm think a ticket

[Dan Soder]

for not wearing your seatbelt is the

[Chris]

worst that could happen until you crash, click it or ticket paid for by nhtsa.

[Dan Soder]

I also wasn't getting a lot, so I was going like. So my thinking was like, at least you're getting some. Yeah, like, just.

[Chris]

That's also fine.

[Dan Soder]

Do you just go, you just can't care about it anymore?

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

But the sensitive boy in me was

[Chris]

going like, it still hurts.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, it still hurts. And also trying to, like, act cool. Like, I don't even give a about that. And you're like, I gave so much of a. When I was 20 years old, I was like, that really hurts. I thought we had a very.

[Chris]

Oh, yeah. When I was in my, like, early 20s, I would get like. Like, it's so funny because, like. And then I got. I got so Desensitized by it. I got so desensitized to it, and then I was just, like, kind of a lot.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Chris]

And then it was, like, funny. Like, I got my chick now and then, like, the first couple years we were together, we broke up so many times.

[Dan Soder]

Why? Because she would just break up with me. Just.

[Chris]

It was a mess of a human being. I was, like, selling drugs and living alone alcohol, you know? Like, it was like, I was a nightmare person.

[Dan Soder]

When you can't blame them for leaving. When you go, like, I get it.

[Chris]

There's no future future here.

[Dan Soder]

I get the.

[Chris]

So we. She would just, like, break up with me, and I would be, like, heartbroken. And then she would call me in a couple months and be like, did you hook up with anybody? Like, of course I did. I drowned my sorrows in terrible.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. I don't make good decisions when I'm heartbroken. Yeah. When have I ever gone, like, yeah, I'm eating vegetables and running a lot.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. That was.

[Chris]

I did do that once.

[Dan Soder]

Really?

[Chris]

I.

[Dan Soder]

But you. Because you thought you were gonna get her back.

[Chris]

This was a different. First of all, it was a different chick who, like, went to study abroad, and I was just like. Like, she had stopped paying me. I was. And that was when I was fat. And I was just like. I was also, like, eating too much Xanax, and I was, like, depressed, and I just, like, stopped doing that, and I felt better. And I was like, oh, I'm gonna run in the morning. Then I'm gonna play handball in the afternoon. Then I'm go to the gym at night. And I just got. That was the first time I got jacked.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Chris]

And then, like, all these girls that were like, you're like a brother to me. It's like, you're already there, but now all of a sudden, you don't see them for a couple months because you're busy getting jacked. And you show up and you're. And they're just like. Like. And they're drunk. And you. You're just like, oh, what's up? And they're like, what is this? And then you're just like, boom. Like, it's like, this is. They're like, this is almost. They're like, I'm not even gonna count this as a number, because I should have just.

[Dan Soder]

You two years ago, Chris, you son of a. I think you just cracked the code for incels. Yeah.

[Chris]

Go away and get jacked. Just go away and get, like, don't talk to them.

[Dan Soder]

You get into shape and you see the reaction on a woman's face that you're in shape.

[Chris]

You're like, like, why wasn't I doing

[Dan Soder]

this the whole time? He's been doing a lot of cardio.

[Chris]

Yeah, like what?

[Dan Soder]

I should have just been doing this the whole.

[Chris]

You get a set of cheap weights for $40 and just do curls.

[Dan Soder]

You can also do those like park works out workouts. Like, dude, there's guys doing pull ups on scaffolding. Yeah, yeah, you can get it done. Yeah. But you really do when you like commit yourself and do it and they go like, oh, it turns out improvement was the way.

[Chris]

Yeah, but it's also, I think it also, it has to be that stark contrast. You have to just be like busy or not return their calls and then just show up at a party.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Chris]

And then you're like, Then they're all,

[Dan Soder]

they can't watch the progress.

[Chris]

Yeah. No, because gradual, like, you gotta like show up.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. You just need to, you need to give them whiplash.

[Chris]

Yeah, you gotta. She's all that take off the glasses and overalls with the hair out.

[Dan Soder]

But you got to do the, the, the shirt pull from the back.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

And pull it off. Oh my God, we're. Before I used to have a joke about that where I used to take my shirt off like this one arm at a time and be like, don't look at my.

[Chris]

Like the way a girl takes a bra off under her shirt.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, that's how. Because I got to get back into shape because that's how I've been taking my shirt off around Katie is. I've been like, don't look at me as Holiday season was horrible. Hey, Like a goddamn animal. But yeah, I, I think that you just solve the cure. You just have the cure for incels.

[Chris]

Well, especially if you like are around chicks like, yes, summer vacation's coming.

[Dan Soder]

Just go get jacked, man. If you're younger and you're watching this and you're. And you have a girl that you like that you have a good connection with, but it's not romantic. Pull back.

[Chris]

Hey, by the way, just the ignoring her will add to it.

[Dan Soder]

Pull back. Get jacked.

[Chris]

Yeah. I'm not saying like, be a dick and ignore it, but just don't make as much time.

[Dan Soder]

Don't make as much time. Fill the time that you would have for her with the gym them.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

And then you got spring break coming up.

[Chris]

Now you're smashing.

[Dan Soder]

Well, make it happen properly. Go to spring break with them. Show up jacked. Bring, Bring drugs, dude, it's crazy. Bring drugs.

[Chris]

I'm telling the youth out there.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, this is Bring drugs to Spring break, guys. We're about positivity here at this podcast. We're trying to get you laid. We're not trying to shut you down and have you go on the Internet and become more toxic.

[Chris]

And if you're an adult and you're listening to this and you just like, people will be like, like, really? People? Just take an art class. I took an art class, like, in my 20s, and if I didn't have like a. No, like my late 30s, actually. Yeah, it was like, if I didn't have a girl at the time, it was literally me and 10 pretty girls. Like, it's like, go take an art class.

[Dan Soder]

Go take a cooking course. If you want to meet a dude,

[Chris]

learn how to throw darts or shoot pool.

[Dan Soder]

I mean, shooting pool is like. Or bowling. But you're not gonna meet the guy you want to. You're just gonna be big guys with bellies that can crack that can. They're gonna put spin on the ball and they're gonna crack the ball.

[Chris]

Imagine them doing that to your nuts.

[Dan Soder]

Feel good? Yeah, dude. The at a bowling alley is always like, woof. That's where my dad would pick up.

[Chris]

They're all named Shirley somehow.

[Dan Soder]

Cheryl. Yeah, it was always a version of Cheryl. It was always a version of Ch.

[Chris]

I love a woman with a pencil

[Dan Soder]

behind her ear, you know, dude, my dad would bring home women that, like, when I would go visit them, would just be that, like the kind of hair that looks wet but isn't. You know what I'm talking about? Oh, you know what I'm talking about. Where it's like.

[Chris]

It's like crunchy.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, yeah. And just like a very light purple lipstick. And just absolutely purple lipstick in the 90s is brutal.

[Chris]

Where did you find a 40 year old woman who shops at Hot Topic?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, dude, my dad would hook up.

[Chris]

Come on, Gare.

[Dan Soder]

And I would go. I would go visit him, you know, like, it'd be years, I think. I think like after I was 10 years old, it was once every two. It was once a year. And then it went to two years. And then he died. But that once a year I would come back and he'd be like, first time when he had a really hot girlfriend named Cheryl. Okay. Next time I go back, there's like Cheryl Ann or something like, similar, way worse. And then when I went back and she had her, he was staying with this girl that had kids when I was 12, and the kids like my dad and hated me because I was taking attention from. Yeah, but she was like one where you're like, oh, this is the final boss of the Cheryl. It's like the Pokemon evolution of Cheryl where there was like little cute squirtle and then it's like the bigger one and then it's like Cheryl Ton or something. It was crazy. It was. That was like when you're like, maybe don't go get at a bowling alley.

[Chris]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe.

[Dan Soder]

And then he got hep C and he died from it.

[Chris]

From that chick.

[Dan Soder]

I think so. Got hep C and then he just didn't go to a doctor and drank. So you go, but he knew it.

[Chris]

No, he found out after he died.

[Dan Soder]

Well, he found out when he got cirrhosis. He's like, how the did I get cirrhosis? And the doctor was like, you have hepatitis C. You shouldn't have been drinking any alcohol. I don't know though. I don't know if he knew or whatever because I wasn't talking to him at the time. So I was like, I don't know. But that is bowling alley. It'll get you killed. It'll get you killed. Art class, I think, is what we're learning. Art class, Go to our class.

[Chris]

There's chicks there.

[Dan Soder]

There are.

[Chris]

Now you have the common interest with them.

[Dan Soder]

But I also feel like New York City has that specific thing where you can do little art classes or cooking classes.

[Chris]

Oh, yeah, true.

[Dan Soder]

Botany classes.

[Chris]

But I think that kind of exists anywhere now. Like, you go anywhere. There's a paint sip.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Like, you know what I mean?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Now you're drinking and there's just chicks there.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. If you're an older guy and you kind of have your life together but you're single.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Take an art class.

[Chris]

I think so.

[Dan Soder]

If you're divorced, take another class.

[Chris]

Yeah, just something like you just get. First of all.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, like, just think online's cooked.

[Chris]

I. Well, I think. I think older guys can. First of all, there's like a Facebook dating now. So if you're just middle aged and single all of a sudden because you got divorced, I think that might be an angle. But I've never used those things. Yeah, I don't think I would be good on them either.

[Dan Soder]

I never was good on apps. I never was good on apps. I tried three of them, got a girlfriend off two of them, but really it wasn't great. Relationships.

[Chris]

I like, don't even know how to like, even if I know a girl, I don't even Know how to, like, text with them other than, like, you trying to chill.

[Dan Soder]

Like, it's like, that's all women know. And now they just get texts of dudes just being like, well or what? They're like, no, I'd like to go out with you and have a meal, dude.

[Chris]

My girl once, I remember, like, it was just like. It was this when we first got. She'd be like. Like, she's like, how come I always call you before you call me? I was like, well, I wake up at 1 and you call me at, like, 1:30 every day.

[Dan Soder]

So you.

[Chris]

I'm like, still on my second cup of coffee.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. Maybe just chill out a little bit. Dude, I couldn't go back. If I ever lost Katie, I think I'd just go celibate. Just go live in the mountains.

[Chris]

So you just go hook or.

[Dan Soder]

I think, yeah. You just show up with, like, a lady whose, like, name is, like, a star.

[Chris]

Just, like, low profile. Get it out of you.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. Just pull the venom the out of of you and then get going again. Did you bring those cards?

[Chris]

I did.

[Dan Soder]

You got them on you?

[Chris]

They're in my bag.

[Dan Soder]

Let me grab your bag for you. We got wrestling cards. Yeah.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

So we're pulling back an old.

[Chris]

And they're like, not even like, a branded wrestling card. Like Classic All Stars. I think these are from the early 90s.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, let me grab.

[Chris]

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