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Graham Kay
Best thing that's ever happened to you.
Dan Soder
Financially. Go easy. Sold my car on Carvana. Amazing offer, really. I hit 200 on a scratcher. Did the scratcher come to your house and hand you a check?
Graham Kay
No.
Dan Soder
How many scratchers did you hit to get that? I hit a button on Carvana.com once.
Graham Kay
Okay, that's fair.
Dan Soder
It's like the lottery, except you always win.
Graham Kay
Not like the lottery at all, actually.
Dan Soder
Exactly. Inexplicably good offers worth bragging about. Sell your car today on Carvana. Pick up fees may apply.
Graham Kay
Evening.
Dan Soder
Buyer's remorse. Buy a new car. I'll be moving in. Let's get started.
Graham Kay
Sorry, I think there's been a mistake. I bought it from Carvana.
Dan Soder
You what? Yeah. Great price.
Graham Kay
I even have seven days to love it or return it.
Dan Soder
So there's no.
Graham Kay
No, no buyer's remorse. More like buyers rejoice.
Dan Soder
I guess I'll let myself out. Congratulations. I mean it.
Graham Kay
Buyers rejoice. Buy your car today on Carvana. Limitations and exclusions may apply. See our 7 day return policy@carvana.com I
Dan Soder
am on the road, but you know that comics can call it tours all they want. We're out here. We're always out here. I'm on the road this weekend I'm in Albany. Four shows Friday and Saturday, July 31 and August 1. I'm gonna be at the Albany Funny Bone, bringing Brendan Sagala with me. So we're just gonna have a hoot and a holler. Please join us dance order.com for tickets. And then in August, I'm gonna be at the port in Baltimore. I think all those shows are sold out. But again, Dan Soder.com I'm going to be in Baltimore August 13th through the 14th. And then Spokane, Washington. I'm coming out west to your beautiful town of filled with homeless Rambos. I'm excited to come out to Spokane, Washington. 20 August 20th through August 22nd. It truly is an awesome club and I feel like last time I was there it wasn't that long ago. So I'm glad to be back. Dance Otter.com for all tickets. Go to Dance Otter.com for tickets. Do not Google it. Do not. Okay? Because how many times I have to respond to people that go like, you're charging $700 a ticket for your show. No, that's crazy. Dansoder.com buy tickets from the actual vendor, not these second sites. Okay.
Graham Kay
Did she actually run?
Dan Soder
Now? That was. So we are recording right now. That was from upstate New York. There was a. A person running for Local government with the same name as Katie. Hilarious. You know, jokingly, Shane calls her Kathy a lot.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
It's like a little rib.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
And we were driving to the place we stayed that we like to go away to up in the Catskills.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
And I saw it, and I. You know, I'm a delinquent. As you were as a teenager.
Graham Kay
Yes.
Dan Soder
So stealing street signs is, like, old hat.
Graham Kay
Well, you got to take one.
Dan Soder
You have to.
Graham Kay
My friends, there is a politician in Canada. He lost, but it was gk.
Dan Soder
You need that.
Graham Kay
Like, GK with a Canada flag on it.
Dan Soder
You need that.
Graham Kay
And they stole that for me. And I have a handkerchief that says gk. Gk. Gk.
Dan Soder
That's incredible.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
And that was. So what happened was because she, you know, she's a grown woman woman now, she was like, I can't let my fiance pull the car over to steal a street sign.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
And I went, absolutely. Totally get what you mean. And then, like, two, like. Like later in the week, we needed groceries, and I was like, oh, let's go pick up some groceries. And then I came back and I put that in the lawn of the house we were staying at, and she came out. She's like, you got it. I was like, I definitely grabbed it and I did the thing where I was like, no one's coming, and pulled to the side of the road and then yanked it out. But good news is Kathy Nolan won, so we didn't affect it.
Graham Kay
Yeah. And she is a fascist, so.
Dan Soder
Well, we had to look her up.
Graham Kay
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dan Soder
And they.
Graham Kay
Are.
Dan Soder
They.
Graham Kay
Okay.
Dan Soder
So that we went.
Graham Kay
All right.
Dan Soder
Very progressive.
Graham Kay
Okay.
Dan Soder
We're so progressive that they would probably be mad that we stole the sign.
Graham Kay
It looked like a hate crime.
Dan Soder
That's exactly, like, just the guy to do it. Oh, they go, yeah, take it away. No, they thems up in my mountain town. No, I.
Graham Kay
Equal rights is bad for me.
Dan Soder
Yeah. But I got the sign. That was the very fun reveal, was her, like, going to make a coffee and being like, where did you get that? You're like, ooh, is that a little stinker?
Graham Kay
Did you get a little. Did you get a little kiss?
Dan Soder
I did. I got a little. I said. I said, give me some sugar.
Graham Kay
Yeah,
Dan Soder
it's good to see you.
Graham Kay
So you have a Jewish guy's hair.
Dan Soder
Oh, yeah. I was saying, when you get a hair transplant, the doctor tells you that the texture changes, which is funny. You know, I have a long bid about my. In my upcoming special about getting a hair transplant. But I will say for those of you at home, when you are wondering if a celebrity has hair tits, look. Look to the hairline and look to the texture of the hair.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
Because if they have different texture hair, they probably have had a hair transplant. Yeah, you guys, we know that it happened. And I go, oh, your hair is a lot different. And they're like, yeah, I don't know. And you're like, older. Guess it changes.
Graham Kay
Guess I have also Matthew McConaughey. McConaughey's hair texture. Remember when he did Wavy now?
Dan Soder
Yeah. But you know when he said he didn't get a hair transplant? No, because if you look back, he's like, balding. And then he did, like, the Matthew McConaughey thing where he's like, actually, what happened is I put some berries and some juices.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
And you go, no, you didn't. You got a fut. It's called an fut procedure, where they take hair from the back of your head and put it on the top of your head.
Graham Kay
But they were eating berries.
Dan Soder
But it was. It was berries. It was the berries of surgery.
Graham Kay
My Matthew McConaughey is not as.
Dan Soder
I'm not good at it. He's kind of got the wish. You got to get the wish. He does.
Graham Kay
The surgeon, the Jewish surgeon was eating berries probably within the same week.
Dan Soder
He did it with his. You try to get the light whistles, like the girlfriend Winnie the Pooh, who speaks like that, or the old pervert and family guy.
Graham Kay
Yeah, that's. That's it.
Dan Soder
Strong arm. Yeah. Got any good news?
Graham Kay
Strong arm, paper boy.
Dan Soder
So you got some berries. It's very fun.
Graham Kay
There's the last thing Matthew McConaughey saw before the. The drugs took over and he passed out.
Dan Soder
He goes, so I'll be taking care of your scalp. Zip, zip. You open. Wait a second, dude. I watched Pete and me. Awesome.
Graham Kay
Wow. Thanks, man.
Dan Soder
It's great. Check it out. It's on YouTube right now. We'll put the link right now.
Graham Kay
I was telling homeless pimp because he watched it too, because he's a good guy. I'm, like, blown away. Anytime in the con, anybody in the comedy seen takes time to watch a special.
Dan Soder
It's like, yeah, we've watched enough comedy. It's like, wow. You watched it, but let me tell you right now. Great. Love it.
Graham Kay
Thanks.
Dan Soder
Love how you did the scenes with Pete, including him as his intro, including the videos where he calls himself Gaston, was very funny. I'm not Gaston.
Graham Kay
I don't want to be Gaston. If I get. If I Date a woman.
Dan Soder
And you're like, absolutely. Wonderful explanation. I thought you did a really good job of explaining autism in a way of, like, there's no superpowers. It is a. It is. There are people that don't show signs. Because if what I mean by that is the Gaston clip, I would look at your brother, and I go, peter's not that autistic, just in the way he's con. The way he's talking to you.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
He looks very, like, conversational. And he's like. He's sitting there with his arm like, I don't want to be Gaston. And if you walked into a room and saw you two talking, I'd have no idea. Really? That always shocks me because my favorite. You know, one of my favorite jokes is when you're like, he's not. He used to. Used to have a disability, and now it's like, there are people who have regular lives or whatever. He goes, so now my brother has a thing that if you leave him alone for four to six days, he'll die. And you're like, yeah, but you don't understand. In those four days, you would assume he drinks beer, he likes steak, loves huge tits.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
This guy rules.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
Loves toys and cartoons. I'm going, what's up, Pete? Were we hanging?
Graham Kay
Yeah. Yeah.
Dan Soder
But you do a great job.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
You do a great job of the special, including the fact of, like, well, my parents are incredible and have had this patience and got them an apartment.
Graham Kay
Yeah. I try and highlight how great my parents are.
Dan Soder
Yeah. Do a good job of it.
Graham Kay
They only took away me making fun of them.
Dan Soder
Really?
Graham Kay
Yeah. That's all they took away.
Dan Soder
And that's what's interesting to me about that is someone that does jokes about his family.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
You have to prep them.
Graham Kay
People I don't.
Dan Soder
People you don't.
Graham Kay
Well, because last time I did a special, I. I had a joke about how my parents are, like, another joke about how my parents fight a. And. And my dad can't say I love you.
Dan Soder
Yeah. And that's what. And you put a version of that joke. Yeah.
Graham Kay
Me and he. And he. He wouldn't talk to me.
Dan Soder
Well, that goes. I'm not gonna lie, though. That is par for the course on a dad that won't say I love you. I'm not acting like your dad's pulling anything new out of his ass. Your dad's. I hate to take your dad's side on this. He's consistent.
Graham Kay
He is.
Dan Soder
He's going like, yeah, you know who I am? Why Would you say that publicly?
Graham Kay
One of the things you're not missing out in having a dead dad.
Dan Soder
Oh, he's been going through a. That recently.
Graham Kay
Is. Well, is that when you achieve something and you're proud of it and you show it to them, and then they make you apologize to them.
Dan Soder
Yeah. So I, I. You know what I mean?
Graham Kay
Instead of saying congratulations twice. Two and two specials in a row, people who lost.
Dan Soder
People who lost parents young will tell you that there's a moment in their 40s, and this isn't for everybody, but there are a lot of people that I've talked to about this that had similar. Like, lost their parents before the age of 15 or 18 or whatever. You hit your 40s and you look at your friends and you go, kind of glad because.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
I made fun of Lewis on the regs about it. Like, his dad would want money. My dad would want money.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
I've been saying this to Katie a lot recently. I go, dude, if my dad is still alive.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
Very small chance. I like him. Very small chance that I'm like, oh, you know who rocks? Gary.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
More. It'd be more of a thing where he'd be calling me and I'd go, he's calling me again.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
I don't want to pick this up,
Graham Kay
but, I mean, I got a tough beat.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Graham Kay
Danny boy. I had a tough beat. Oh, Danny, buddy, I'm in Sarasota.
Dan Soder
If you. Honestly. Yeah. You would make my. Make my life if you could give me this. Can you wire the casino?
Graham Kay
Yes.
Dan Soder
Five grand to get me out of this hole.
Graham Kay
And again, not my fault.
Dan Soder
Of course. It's the dealers. They're Asian. They count so fast. And you go, dad, that's not an excuse.
Graham Kay
They can see better at night. Did you know that?
Dan Soder
They must eat carrots. I think that's why there's always carrots and bon me sandwiches. But. So my question to you is, what's fun about watching a special? And knowing you is like, something I don't get to ask. Me other comedians that I watch the Specials. Your first 10 minutes is about. Or first five minutes is about how you want kids, but you live alone. You're almost a gay man because of how living. And then now you're married with a baby.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
And you're like, well, you got what you wanted. I'm gonna open my next special by being like, yeah. Millions of dollars in a giant acreage of land where I can go escape with a fresh water. Well, I'll never have that. When you. When you like, go back and watch that. That's got to be fun to be like, guess what, buddy?
Graham Kay
Well, when I recorded it, I knew that she was pregnant.
Dan Soder
Oh.
Graham Kay
I found out. So I worked on, I worked on making that special for two years.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Graham Kay
And then I got the off Broadway run there at Soho playhouse. And the second show of 25, I found out. And the first line is like, I'm never gonna have kids. And then I just couldn't figure out how to incorporate that. Yeah.
Dan Soder
Because you can't go.
Graham Kay
Because the whole conceit is that heat will always be there.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Graham Kay
And it doesn't matter. I'm never gonna have kids. Yeah. But what I didn't, what I didn't know is that my 42 year old girlfriend could get pregnant.
Dan Soder
Fun.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
Welcome to 20.
Graham Kay
26. Yeah.
Dan Soder
42 is the new 30.
Graham Kay
She's in great health, great shape.
Dan Soder
Baby's doing good.
Graham Kay
Turns out if you get your date. Baby's doing great. Baby's doing great. She's doing well. She's, she's just. Turns out if, if you get your, she's like played sports. So she got her like when, when she was a teenager, she got her period late. Oh. And I didn't, it shifts everything later.
Dan Soder
Oh, yeah.
Graham Kay
Field hockey.
Dan Soder
Field hockey.
Graham Kay
Also straight crazy. Yeah.
Dan Soder
Crazy. That's like getting, that's like getting a catcher in softball. I got a softball player.
Graham Kay
Oh, yeah.
Dan Soder
Yeah. Dude, look at us.
Graham Kay
Yeah. Yeah.
Dan Soder
Ours, our women should be together. Yeah, we should be together. Do you, the four pals. The four pals. The, the baby in the special, you bring up your chances of autism?
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
When do you find out?
Graham Kay
I mean, it's kind of like until he's two, but is it something you're,
Dan Soder
you know, you make a big point of it in the special. Yeah. Is this something you're worried about still?
Graham Kay
Well, we're, we're going, we're going to give him up for adoption. For s. Yeah.
Dan Soder
I was half a sip closer from blowing that all over your face. If you know how close you almost just got to get taken a face of coffee. He's like, yeah.
Graham Kay
Can you count to three?
Dan Soder
How fast?
Graham Kay
Yeah, he's like six months old. One, two, three.
Dan Soder
She's filling out the paperwork.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
She goes, listen, I got a hot ticket.
Graham Kay
You're tracking this.
Dan Soder
Put them out. Yeah, put them out.
Graham Kay
Yeah. No, I, I, I'm honestly just for some, somehow, some way, I'm not worried about it, and she is not worried about it. She hasn't said anything.
Dan Soder
She's just really you ever talked about it?
Graham Kay
We've talked about it. We talked about before it happened.
Dan Soder
Don't. Don't lie. Don't tell me. Oh, Mom. And, you know, it's like, oh, mom and dad aren't mad at each other. We just have. In different places, you go, we're always mad at each other.
Graham Kay
I will admit that.
Dan Soder
Yeah. And then you grow up and you go, yeah, it was the opposite of it. But I feel like if you have a fear of. Because you said of your genetic chances of autism, if you had a baby with a woman in her 40s, you would go like, hey, yeah. Are you freaking the out about this? Cuz I'm freaking the out.
Graham Kay
Yeah. I mean, we've definitely, like, been like, he's making all the markers. That's good. We're. We're both looking for it. You know, we had a chat about it even before we got pregnant because we just started dating. And I was like, hey, you know, I kind of want to have a kid. And she's like, well, you know, I'd be down, but we'll see. You know, I don't know. I'm not, you know, and then. And I was like, there's a higher chance of autism. And she was like, yeah, I mean, I'm not worried about that.
Dan Soder
You know, it was that, you know. And again, watch the special and you'd understand this question. Was that relieving after being with someone that was like, I can't do that. I can't risk.
Graham Kay
She's such, like. It was a huge relief. She's like. And look, it's not like I was forcing every. Every. Every second date I had, I was like, want to have a kid with me? Want to have an autistic child with me?
Dan Soder
That would almost seem like you. I'm a comedian. Are you sure you're not autistic? In your second date, you go, I have to be very upfront with you. The chances of autism in our child are skyrocketing.
Graham Kay
Also, money will be up and down.
Dan Soder
Yeah. It will be an emotional roller coaster. We might have a special needs child. Are you on board? Yeah. I don't know. I didn't even get to look at appetizers yet.
Graham Kay
And then I would just walk out.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Graham Kay
I would flip a table and walk out and say, shut up, you stupid woman.
Dan Soder
Can I say either way it goes? And, you know, I hope your baby's great. Everything's on the up and up. Pete's gonna be an awesome uncle.
Graham Kay
He's so good. I mean, one of like, the highlights of my life was when Billy was born. We. We, like, Pete came down with my parents.
Dan Soder
He did.
Graham Kay
And I gave. You know, he, like, held him. He's like, I'm gonna be. I'm. I'm the uncle Peter Parker Spider. I'm like, this is your Uncle Peter. And he goes, peter Parker, Spider man. And then takes the baby. Idiot.
Dan Soder
Yeah. Maybe he'll want to do Burton Ernie with me.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
Unlike you. Getting flamed out.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
Did you worry about it? We'll come back to him being an uncle. But did you worry about when you said, like, hey, Bert, Ernie is a fun. So he explains in the special, his. His brother, who is autistic, would call him and do a perfect.
Graham Kay
Yes.
Dan Soder
Or do a perfect Ernie.
Graham Kay
He's like you. He's got the same skills.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Graham Kay
Same impression skills.
Dan Soder
We're 1A, 1B. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Honestly, Fetal alcohol syndrome and autism, they live in the same realm. But he. But he does such a good Bert that I was like, Or Ernie. Yeah, Bert. Yeah. Because he goes, hey, Bert.
Graham Kay
Yeah?
Dan Soder
Would you work. You know, you're worried about your dad being mad about seeing that joke. Were you worried that Pete was going to see that joke and be like, oh, you hate doing Bert Ernie with me?
Graham Kay
So not. Not about that. So I opened for Nate in front. In Ottawa recently in front of 18, 000 people. My parents. Peter came. We were the Senators play where the Senators. I like, it wasn't, you know, insane. And they. I found out where they were seated kind of like in the lower. Lower bowl. And I did a couple jokes about. So just let the audience know that I have a brother with autism. And I. At the end, I go, guys, my. My brother's here. Stand up, Pete. And he stood up and there's 18, 000 people. And I go, cheer for Peter, Peter Parker, Spider Man. Everyone say, go, Peter, Peter Parker, Spider Man. Peter Parker, Spider Man. Peter Parker, Spider Man. And he stood up and he went, 18,000 people. And there's a. There's a picture that Noah, Nate's camera guy, took. It's like, incredible. He, like. I didn't have to tell him it was going to happen. He just got it and he's like this. Oh, it's on my. It's on my Instagram.
Dan Soder
Oh, my God. I'm gonna go look at that. Yeah, we'll put it right here. Yeah, we can edit it right here. What a cool moment.
Graham Kay
Yeah, it ruled, dude. It was the best.
Dan Soder
Did he say anything about that?
Graham Kay
So I do the point. Why I brought it up is because I. One of the jokes I told was that, you know, one of the annoying things he does is when I don't have to worry. I'm glad I have a brother with autism because I don't worry about going home for the holidays and arguing about politics.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Graham Kay
When I go home, thing that he does that annoys me is he makes me watch back to back episodes of the Power Rangers.
Dan Soder
And you said it didn't age well. Yeah. Which, by the way.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
Again, Pro Pete point.
Graham Kay
Yeah. Okay.
Dan Soder
Sitting around ripping beers.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
Watching the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
Sign me up, bro. I'll bring the stakes. Also, I'm gonna bring you some Spider man action figures. Yeah. And we're gonna watch Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
I might have to go to Ottawa and hang with Pete for an afternoon. Come off the wagon for Pete.
Graham Kay
You just. Just bring some N A's. He won't know what that means.
Dan Soder
Oh, yeah, I can bring a six pack of Heineken Nas.
Graham Kay
He won't know.
Dan Soder
And he's like.
Graham Kay
And he also won't care.
Dan Soder
Yeah. He goes, great, if you just bring a couple.
Graham Kay
A couple Diet Cokes.
Dan Soder
Yeah. I'm put on the movie, the Power Ranger movie. And he's like, well, let's go.
Graham Kay
Hey. But he. So, you know, I go backstage and I'm like, Pete, how was that? You know.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Graham Kay
The. All the people.
Dan Soder
You just got an 18, 000 ovation.
Graham Kay
And he goes, you shouldn't have said that about the Power Rangers. It's a fine program. It's a very good show.
Dan Soder
Is that what he said?
Graham Kay
Yeah. You should not have said that about the Power Rangers.
Dan Soder
That's cool. It's like, well, all right, well, can't win them all, I guess. Thank you, Peter. But with him as an uncle or did. Did he immediately. He immediately took to it.
Graham Kay
Yeah, he. He took to it. He. He knows how to hold the baby. He. Yeah, he likes. He wants to see him on, on like, on like FaceTime and stuff.
Dan Soder
And that's awesome.
Graham Kay
It rules. He. He's. He's always. He never asked questions, but he asked questions about Molly and he asked questions. He always asks, how's Molly and how's William? And I want to call him Billy.
Dan Soder
Sure.
Graham Kay
Molly doesn't want to call him Billy because she says that sounds like an alcoholic.
Dan Soder
And she's not completely wrong. William is a strong name. Will is fantastic.
Graham Kay
Billy Austin K just rips. I love that. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. I Mean, it's like an alcoholic who writes good poetry, you know?
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Graham Kay
And writes cool plays in the South.
Dan Soder
Billy Bob did a fantastic job. She goes, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. He goes, have you seen those new T Mobile commercials? He had a friend said that the reception sucked. His words. Yeah, that's. But so is that a fight when you call him Billy?
Graham Kay
Yes.
Dan Soder
Sure. Don't do that.
Graham Kay
She's like, don't do that. And, you know. But I'm bigger, so I can do what I want.
Dan Soder
Sure. Also, I would imagine, I don't know what it's like to have a dad. I'd imagine it's pretty cool when your dad has a name for you that isn't. You know what I mean? Or he goes like, hey, what's up, Billy? Like, when you see him, when he's, like, gonna be a teenager, like, billy, come here. And then you go, well, that's dad talk.
Graham Kay
Yeah. My uncle. My uncle Tony calls my cousin Nolan Joe.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Graham Kay
For no reason.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Graham Kay
He goes, hey, Joe. I just. I love that. I think it's so cool.
Dan Soder
I had a friend growing up, his family, his name was Johnny. They call him Bugsy.
Graham Kay
I love.
Dan Soder
No idea why.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
He was so cool. When you be at his house, his dad would be like, bugs come downstairs. And you're like, yeah, yeah, Bugsy.
Graham Kay
What?
Dan Soder
That's such a cool name.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
My mom was like, daniel. Yeah.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
So biblical.
Graham Kay
Yeah. I guess I'll just go be an accountant. Yeah, well, you have sex with women.
Dan Soder
When I was young, my mom was like. When I was, like, five or six years old, we were driving somewhere, and my mom was like, can I call you Danny? And I went, can I call you Trish? She went, all right.
Graham Kay
And she was like, it's so nice. How old were you?
Dan Soder
I was like five or six years old. Because my. My dad's family. My. My grandma and my aunt and my dad. My dad didn't, but my grandma, my aunt would call me Danny. And you can't tell them to off.
Graham Kay
No.
Dan Soder
So, like, maybe if you get Pete to call him Billy, he won't because
Graham Kay
he found out that that's what Molly wants. He wants him. And what Molly wants him to be William. So.
Dan Soder
So he calls him William.
Graham Kay
She's like, well, Graham, we should do what Molly wants. You can't. You can't break up with Molly. No, you can't, but simply can't.
Dan Soder
But simply can't. You so. Damn. Because that was my way out of it.
Graham Kay
But you don't want Molly to Leave you. He'll say like on speakerphone. I'll be like, hey, chill, bro. She'll be like walking around like, what? What happened?
Dan Soder
And you go, nothing.
Graham Kay
Nothing.
Dan Soder
He says he's worried I sex you too Good.
Graham Kay
Yeah, yeah. You need a break.
Dan Soder
The story about you. Tell a story in your special. And again, go watch the special. PD me about him loving big tits. When did you learn that? When was that discovered that hey, Pete's gonna yell out tatas or what?
Graham Kay
Does he scream out who's from the movie? He got hoo hoos from dude, where's my car? With Ashton Kutcher Shout Out. That's one of his favorite films.
Dan Soder
I mean, you know what? They had to write it for somebody.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
And they wrote 14 year old autistic for a 14 year old.
Graham Kay
This shall be my cannon.
Dan Soder
Through the writers room with all the things on the wall, they go, we're writing this for a 14 year old boy with autism.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
And then they go, that explains everything. You know what? All your jokes make sense now. Fantastic.
Graham Kay
We will still do like. There's a scene, which no one remembers but Peter and me, where he's like on the back. One guy.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Graham Kay
Stifler says, dude. The other guy says, sweet. They get tattoos. He's what does yours say, dude, what's yours say?
Dan Soder
Sweet.
Graham Kay
No, what does yours say? It's like, who's on first?
Dan Soder
It's for stoners. Yeah, it's who's on first?
Graham Kay
And Peter, it's just Pete has trouble like, getting a lot of like, modern comedy, but he gets that. It's like he understands why that's a joke.
Dan Soder
Great.
Graham Kay
And so he loves when, like, we can just do it.
Dan Soder
How much would it break your heart if he got crowd work? Like if he's clip. And you go, no, Peter, I don't need you understanding that. He goes, but find out what they do for a living.
Graham Kay
Yeah, yeah. And if they get up, are they taking a shit?
Dan Soder
Yeah. Also ask the person next to him if they.
Graham Kay
Yeah, yeah. And yeah. And on the second date. I think that would be nice, guys.
Dan Soder
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Graham Kay
He. I don't think he really understands what's going on. He likes to go and. And he likes that everyone's laughing. Yeah, I think that's. He thinks that's cool. What he does is he. His special needs group, they like organize Things on Fridays to go out and hang out. They'll go to a restaurant. Sometimes they'll go to Absolute Comedy Club or Yuck Yucks in Ottawa. And then he'll stand in the back and, you know, I'll be in New York or wherever on the road somewhere. He'll go to the headliner at the end.
Dan Soder
Oh, boy.
Graham Kay
And it'll be like, he'll walk right up to them and he's big. My brother's like 63250. He'll walk.
Dan Soder
And again. And I mean, this is a compliment on site. You would not. Quickly. Yeah, maybe conversation. You can see it. But you watch some, like, quick clips of you two together and you go, yeah, okay.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
Which one? Which one has it?
Graham Kay
And he'll want. He walks, right?
Dan Soder
It's like twins. I don't know which one is.
Graham Kay
I don't know what you're talking about, Dan. I know why you would say such a thing.
Dan Soder
But he'll go up to the headliner
Graham Kay
immediately after and he'll walk right up to them and like, invade their personal space and be like, my brother's Graham K. Look at this. And then he'll point at his groin and then he'll pull out his Spider man belt buckle. And so he'll. People be like, ah, Also effective. Yeah.
Dan Soder
Also effective because they go, who's Graham K. Yeah. And is he related to Spider Man?
Graham Kay
Yeah. I like how nobody knows who I am.
Dan Soder
Have you ever had anybody that goes,
Graham Kay
everyone message every weekend? Every second weekend I'll get a message from a guy I kind of know being like, dude, your brother just walked up to me. They'll like, figure it out. That is.
Dan Soder
There is also something I will say to be on the wrong side of a special needs group outing is when they don't inform.
Graham Kay
They swarm you.
Dan Soder
They don't inform the comedian and you're up there.
Graham Kay
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dan Soder
You know. What are you moaning about? Yeah, you can't see because of the light. Like, what are you. What? What's your problem? Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
Graham Kay
You just have to turn off the leave and turn off the lights.
Dan Soder
Dude. Shane has, like, one of my favorite stories about that at Magoobies. Yeah, Timonium. It was right when he was doing the Special Olympics joke.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
But it wasn't the Closer. And it was when he started headlining. So it's in the middle of his act.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
Because you want to have big bits throughout your act. And he said he was, like, doing that and it was getting like this weird Reaction. And he's like, why are you guys being all weird? And the lights are bright there.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
And someone would go up to the bathroom, and he, like, looked, and he was like, oh, no.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
Oh, my God. A whole table of special needs people. They didn't. But it's not his fault. You gotta prep him 100.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
It's on the club to go, by the way.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
Big group.
Graham Kay
That happened to me. I did my show and a bunch of special needs people came. It was like the whole audience, like, my brother. My brother's special group, like, needs group came and to. Because. To support I. And it's like, this is. This is for the brothers. It shows for the brothers.
Dan Soder
Quit making it all about you and not you. Tell someone with autism to stop making it all about themselves.
Graham Kay
Not black people. Yeah, them too.
Dan Soder
And I'm not talking about. They would have a different perspective on your condition, but you really don't.
Graham Kay
This shows for the brothers.
Dan Soder
Yeah, you go. This isn't for you. This is for the ones that you know.
Graham Kay
There was that accent. Was that my accent?
Dan Soder
It was. I don't know what it was.
Graham Kay
Was that an autistic Canadian accent?
Dan Soder
I was trying. Yeah, I tried. I reached.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
I've never been able to get a good Canadian acc. Hell, I don't know. That's not how we speak in Ottawa.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
But that. It was. Were they a good audience?
Graham Kay
No, they're laughing at the wrong time.
Dan Soder
That's almost like running with weights on. Yeah. You go do the hour in front of the group and you go, I'm just gonna go crazy. They go, but you'll learn.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
The strength you'll gain from it going.
Graham Kay
Or it will break you.
Dan Soder
Yeah. After doing an hour about one topic, are you like, I'm cool. Never talking about that again?
Graham Kay
Yes. That's kind of why I did it.
Dan Soder
Was it fun to, like.
Graham Kay
I mean, I probably will talk about it again because stuff will come up,
Dan Soder
but it's your life.
Graham Kay
I. I just. It was like this big thing. Like, I've been doing comedy for 19 years, and it's this big thing in the background. I've never talked about my. The whole time because I didn't want anyone to laugh the wrong way. Like, I would jump into the audience and kill them and strangle them to death. Like, watch the light leave their eyes, and I wouldn't care.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Graham Kay
And honestly. Yeah.
Dan Soder
I would tell you this. I've seen pictures. And you can go back to the first episode. Graham was on this podcast. He was an athletic man. He did time for a crime he did not commit.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
He was put away.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
The viral clip of yours on this podcast was from you getting locked up.
Graham Kay
Yeah, that's right.
Dan Soder
For spray painting.
Graham Kay
That's right. But bad boy comedy. A lot of people are calling me.
Dan Soder
There's also a picture of you where you straight up look like Wolverine.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
When you're like 18 years old in your military school.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
You some shit up. So you went in the audience. I don't doubt you would choke someone out.
Graham Kay
I probably haven't been in a real fight in 20 years, but. Yeah.
Dan Soder
But you know what? Someone laughs at your brother the wrong way.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
And all that knowledge comes right.
Graham Kay
That's your John wicked into a lot of fights, like from 16 to 24.
Dan Soder
Yeah. That's. Those are dangerous times to fight.
Graham Kay
There's a lot of tea.
Dan Soder
Yeah. There's a lot of testosterone and a lot of opportunity to go to jail.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
For hurting somebody.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
Because that's when it does become a crime. Is 18 years old. But also I do feel like that is your thing that'll hulk you up. Like I said, that's your John Wick dog dying.
Graham Kay
So. Yeah.
Dan Soder
Someone in front of your brother and you go, I'll stomp out this.
Graham Kay
Yeah. Yeah. So I didn't, I didn't want, I didn't, I didn't want to like just talk about it because I, I didn't. Maybe I just wasn't, I was scared and I probably wasn't good enough for a lot of the time.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Graham Kay
To figure out how to thread that needle where it's like ingrandizing him and, and, and making him seem cool, making him the hero of it, of the joke. And, and I finally figured out how to do that. And then I had like, you know how it is, like you have one bit, then you have two, but then you have three bits and then you do it on the road and you're like, I'm doing like half an hour about autism in my like 45 hour long headline set.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Graham Kay
It's like, it's kind of. People are coming up to me, like parents are coming up to me and, and, and, and crying after the show, being like, we have an autistic child. We were just coming to see comedy. We loved it, but it was a lot for us. We were trying to get away from it tonight and we couldn't. And that happened like, like more than a few times.
Dan Soder
Which isn't a reaction that you would expect where they go, hey, buddy, it's my whole Life.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
And I'm trying to come hear jokes about apps.
Graham Kay
Yes.
Dan Soder
Appetizers and mobile app.
Graham Kay
And mobile apps. Only those. Yeah. Apps are what again? Apps are what we're looking for.
Dan Soder
Yeah, yeah, I'm on it.
Graham Kay
And I want to eat some apps.
Dan Soder
I want to eat some ass while I watch. Jokes about apps.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
Did we. In that situation, do you feel like it's apologetic? What do you feel like? Because you go, well, you. I'm doing jokes about my life.
Graham Kay
I'm not. I am apologetic, but I'm like. But not like, I'm sorry I did that. I'm like, oh, yeah, I totally understand that. I. That's my life. And they go, but they're never angry. They're like, it's. It's usually like a, like a dad going,
Dan Soder
do you ever have.
Graham Kay
And then a mom going, like, it was just, you know, I love my son. Now she's thinking about her brother or the. The other son or the other, you know, and it's just like a lot. And so anyway, I just was like, I can't. This. I'm writing more jokes about this. I can't. No, I can't do an hour of just only autism on the road. I'm not a big enough draw where I can do that. Half the audience, three quarters of the audience don't know me.
Dan Soder
Ye.
Graham Kay
And they're just coming to see comedy. And then there's a guy talking about autism, you know, so it needed to go to a specific place. It needed to become a thing. It's a show. And like, that's why I did like a.
Dan Soder
It's wise. It was a wise move.
Graham Kay
One man show. I, you know, it's just. It's just stand up. But I did a beginning, middle, and an end.
Dan Soder
You know, I always. Yeah, I always hate when you go to what's previewed as a one man show. You're watching it, you go, just stand up. This is just stand up.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
This guy's just doing stand up with aids.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
Not the, the virus, the visual aids.
Graham Kay
Dude. I went to. I was. I did. I went to Edinburgh.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Graham Kay
And fringe. I did fringe to like, you know, work, figure out how to do a one man show. How. How to basically make a through line. And I know you did it and. And, yeah, but I did it and
Dan Soder
I was like, like everyone was in my head where they're like, you have to have a theme. It's got to carry you through all the time. And then Ari Shafir was like, do your hour. It's an hour that you're filming for HBO.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
Run that hour 100%. My publicist, which is very. A very important part of Fringe is what they tell you is to hire the right publicist so you can get people to your shows. I knew nothing about the UK market. She was like. She didn't watch the act or whatever in the first night. Yeah, I didn't do well my first show.
Graham Kay
No. Yeah.
Dan Soder
It didn't go like the preview.
Graham Kay
Fringe is the worst.
Dan Soder
I. I liked it for different reasons. Yeah. But my first. My preview show didn't go well.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
I had an hour and it ended up being 46 minutes. When I ran it that night, it flopped. Sweat or whatever. And I'll just remember her. She was very nice, but pushy woman. And I'm side stage after the show and I'm like, that sucked. I got a whole fucking month of this.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
And she comes back and she goes, you didn't tell me you was just doing something stand up. And I went, what? And she goes, you're doing just stand up?
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
And I went, what am I supposed to do? And she goes, you're supposed to have a show. And then she left. It was the most dramatic.
Graham Kay
Like a cape.
Dan Soder
Yeah, she really did. She should have. You're supposed to have a show. And left. And I went, this is a show. But that was part of what annoyed me about Fringe. Right. Go. Y' all are just doing stand up, but you got air in between your jokes.
Graham Kay
It's all it is, dude. It's why. I mean, we can get into it, but it's like why British comedians aren't as good is because they. They can it. All the. The cog in their wheel is fringe. Fringe shows. And they have to turn over a new hour every year. And only 20 year comedians can do a new hour every year. So they.
Dan Soder
I don't even think that. I think you need two or three.
Graham Kay
I do. Anytime. Anytime. You see, like a famous person put out one a year. I mean, Nate's the only person I've seen do it. Now I'm on only just saying that pays me. But, like, he, He. He can do it.
Dan Soder
But I mean, Louie did it.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
Bird did it a couple times. Nate can do it. I can also. I will argue that you can't do it prolonged. It's the. You could. It's like Nate's on a bit of a heater and.
Graham Kay
And that's, you know.
Dan Soder
Oh, my God. I was just. Dude, we watched him last night at the Cellar and I'm Like, I think he's number one. He's just like, I saw five bits and I was like, oh, yeah. You're like watching. You go, oh, I gotta go. Right?
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
But sucks. I do think you're. But I do think what a. What helps them doing the hour a year is the fact that it is somewhat emotional. It is somewhat. Using visual aids, videos, other things. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, taking stand up and going. We're not really doing stand up. And you go, well, we are.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
That was the thing that annoyed me. I met so many great comedians over there from the uk, From Ireland, from Canada, from Australia. You know, it pulls in people from Europe, from Switzerland. And I met all sorts of comics that I liked and had great conversations with. There was a couple, though. There are a couple that were pretty insecure.
Graham Kay
They're so.
Dan Soder
And they were real quick to start talking about American comedy.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
Like, I'm not an American.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
And you're like, all right, if we're getting into this, we smoke you.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
There's like, those after parties. So to explain to people that don't know about the Fringe Comedy Festival, it's a show with, like, it's in Edinburgh, Scotland, and it takes over the whole city for the whole month of August or July. It's August, right? Yeah, it's August. And it's like the whole month. You do a show every night. And there are so many shows. There's people stabbing themselves in the balls with needles. There's people, like, as a show, as a show, not just a guy, but. Well, there's a lot of those guys. Are there opiates are a problem in Edinburgh as well?
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
And there's just like a bunch of going on where you can watch pretty much anything you want to. So the idea of doing just straight up stand up does look a little stiff or, like, not corny, but just like, oh, you're not being artistic. It's like showing up to a Halloween party not dressed up kind of. Yeah, that's what it feels like. And they're like, what are you? And you're like, I'm me. This is just what I do.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
But, yeah, I met a couple that really wanted to try to get me to go like, yeah, what you guys do is art. And I was like, I don't give a. We're. We're mall clowns. You're talking to the wrong guy. Because I'm going like, well, in our country, you go against the Dave and Busters. Not a trapeze artist. But this one Irish comic who I did not like, and I let it be known after this hang, I was like, hey, me and you were good. We don't need to talk. He was trying to get me to admit that. He was like, you see, that's the difference between you Americans and us.
Graham Kay
Look at this.
Dan Soder
We're doing shows every night. Every night. We get it ready for the year, and we do it every night. You aren't hustling like us. Yeah. And I go, we do this every night. We do multiple spots in the city every night. What are you talking about? Stand up every night. And I got. Sean Patton was the one that had to kind of like, pull me away because I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? Like, we don't do shows every night. I go, this is.
Graham Kay
You're making fun of an autistic brother. You just start strangling it.
Dan Soder
We do shows every night in the city. In the city. In a big city. In a big city.
Graham Kay
A big American city with big fucking
Dan Soder
buildings with no castles, empty penthouses.
Graham Kay
And
Dan Soder
I was, like, really getting fucking hyped up to the point where Sean was like, yeah, I don't know if those after parties are a good idea for. For you.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
Because I wasn't drinking. And these. And honestly, I'll cut the guy some slack. He was, like, kind of drunk.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
But that whole idea of, like, what I. What got me ticked off is when he goes, see, that's what you got. You Americans can't acknowledge we do a new hour every year, and you guys can't do that. And I go, no, we're better than you.
Graham Kay
Yeah, we. We.
Dan Soder
Because we work on it.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
And we. We run an hour.
Graham Kay
You never do an hour. Yeah, we do an hour every two years. Yeah, you do. You know, ours is. You're all fart. No. You know what I mean?
Dan Soder
Excellent way of putting it. It's an excellent way of putting it.
Graham Kay
And I mean.
Dan Soder
But there are. But then, to be fair, there are the acts you see over there where you go, it was phenomenal. You watch an hour of it and you go, dude.
Graham Kay
Yeah. I'm not trying to despair. I'm not trying to say, like,
Dan Soder
all
Graham Kay
these UK comics suck. There's. There's phenomenal. It's a big place with a lot of talented people who are amazing.
Dan Soder
But you talk to David, and I
Graham Kay
like a lot of them.
Dan Soder
He talked to Sloth about it, and he's like, yeah, they're all full of. He's like, the first one.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
And you Go, yeah, you're about it. You're a fantastic comic that does jokes. And he goes, yeah. And he's fraud of Edinburgh. And he's like, yeah, all that shit's.
Graham Kay
It's just. It's just a bunch of new comedians doing misdirections, thinking they're geniuses.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Graham Kay
It's like the amount of, like, misdirections I would see on, like, hot shows at nighttime.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Graham Kay
And being like. And it was my. And I said, hey, Mom.
Dan Soder
And they go.
Graham Kay
And they set up, like, a sex joke, but. And I said, and you think it's like a girlfriend? He said, hey. And you're like, oh. And the whole audience is like.
Dan Soder
But then you also.
Graham Kay
What's fun is, like, that meme where the guy's like.
Dan Soder
What was funny to me was, like, realizing that they don't like sex jokes the way we like sex jokes.
Graham Kay
Well, they don't have sex.
Dan Soder
Well, they do, but I think they do very, like, yeah, button up.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
And I was doing the thing about. I'll search for a good rogering. And I was. I was doing a joke about eating ass. That's on my HBO special. And they were just like, no, no, thank you. That is how sailors would get sick. It's like something like that where they're like, no, no, no. That is how you die at sea.
Graham Kay
That's how you get ruby eye.
Dan Soder
But it really was, like. It really was a thing where you're, like, like, learning about audiences. So it's good you went and did that show because you really, like, realize.
Graham Kay
Yeah. I mean, it definitely did help. And then, I mean, maybe. And you did. You do get the hang of it at the end of it. But it did make me feel more comfortable about silences, because you're just. You, like, that's big. One of the things that, like, I like, you know, I. I do clubs, and I grew up doing clubs in the city here. And, like, you just. I just try. And my whole thing is smashing. And you just. You kill, and then you get off stage, and no one really knows you or remembers who you are.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Graham Kay
And then you watch, like, another comedian and. And. And they're really good, but, like, they're. They take their time a little bit.
Dan Soder
And jealousy.
Graham Kay
I have. And then you. Then the audience maybe doesn't laugh as much. They definitely don't laugh as much, but they know who that person is.
Dan Soder
They also. The impacts of those jokes.
Graham Kay
Yes.
Dan Soder
When they hit.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
Was something I had to learn.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
I wish I would have learned that 10 years ago. Same, because to me, a comic that's comfortable with silence on stage reminds me of the confidence of a man that's comfortable without his shirt. And I go, I'd kill for that.
Graham Kay
Yeah. Who doesn't have a great body.
Dan Soder
It's just. But it's like, Ari.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
He just takes his shirt off.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
And walks around. And I go, I can't. Even when I'm at Jay's pool in the privacy of his backyard ago. You guys aren't looking. I'll take the shirt off, jump in the pool.
Graham Kay
Everyone starts puking. I didn't think it would look like that.
Dan Soder
But you really, like, you really understand the value, especially from going to a place like Fringe where you go, oh, silences are also, you know, important for the act.
Graham Kay
Yeah. And that, that, that, that. Turns out these British comics are better.
Dan Soder
Turns out we've gone full circle on this podcast.
Graham Kay
Yeah. No. Why I brought it up is. I forget why we were talking about
Dan Soder
this, but I went, oh, running the show of an actual making it into you and you know the story of your brother.
Graham Kay
No, I think we were talking anyway, I, I, I, I, I went to go see somebody else's show. Like one of these.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Graham Kay
Like, guys with needles in their balls here. And, and me and this other comedian. And we were, he, we didn't, he was. We were sat at different places because we didn't go together, but we knew each other.
Dan Soder
Sure.
Graham Kay
And, and the guy, like, classic one man show. And he's like. And then I threw the ball and I caught the ball. And I like that. Fred, Fred Arneson's arms. And then he's like, I. And I used to list. He had a record player behind him. And he's like. And I used to listen to my, my mom's records. Ooh. You know. And he was like. And I loved it. It. And then I went outside and I played football with my friends by the tracks. And I threw the ball. And then, and then he goes over to his stool and the lights darken and there's a spotlight on him, and he's sitting on the stool and he turns around and he goes. And then I was for four hours. And then everyone in the audience went. And then I look over at the other comedian. We're both going.
Dan Soder
I'm not gonna lie, dude. That would make me laugh. We're just like, we go, I can't. And there really is a thing. And I don't know what it is, is maybe we're desensitized in North America.
Graham Kay
Is wrong with us.
Dan Soder
Something's wrong with.
Graham Kay
Wrong with me.
Dan Soder
But you do go to a fringe show. And they're like, I didn't realize having my genitals burned would mean. And you're like, yeah. It's like, dude, come on. You can't fucking act like. We're not going to laugh at that. Everything.
Graham Kay
It's an awful thing that happened to you. If it happened and probably did. I'm so sorry. That's not why I'm laughing. It was the presentation. Can I tell you 100 the presentation.
Dan Soder
And we might. You might want to mark this because I have to clear this with Katie to see if I could tell the story or. Yeah, but we watch Jeopardy. Every night, and there's a commercial for Shen Yun. Oh, yeah, The Chinese ballet before communism. Yes. It's the pro. It's anti communism, pro capitalism Chinese ballet. So Katie and I always would joke around about Shen Yun's coming to town. Shen Yun. And for Christmas this year, we open our presents, and we're sitting around and Katie goes, oh, I forgot, I have one more present for you. And she goes and busts out an envelope. And she got us tickets to opening night of Shen Yun at, like, why am I forgetting where it is?
Graham Kay
Rockefeller Center.
Dan Soder
No, not Rockefeller. What's the big Lincoln Center? Lincoln Center. At Lincoln Center. And I'm like, yeah, we're going to opening night at Lincoln Center. So, you know, we go, there are people there that take that very, very seriously. Like, I'm talking about Chinese people that might have lost their family to the current government that are like, yo, that I'm ready to see some classic Chinese ballet with a pro capitalist spin. And there was a moment where they, like, talk about the religious side of it where, like, God came down and they do this thing where the. The two people are dancing and then they, like, act like they're jumping into the screen, but they fall below the screen, but then they appear in the screen and then they fly around. And Katie and I had to fight a laugh that was so hard that we were pinching each other's legs because we were going, like, to the point where it was. We left at intermission because we were laughing so hard that we were like, dude, this is just disrespectful. We just need to leave this thing. We saw it, you know, but it was crazy. It was just such pure propaganda. Yeah, that. It was so funny that we were like. But it was that thing of, like. And then I was raped brutally, for four hours. Like, it's happening. I'm about to laugh out of my. Dude. I could like feel the laugh trying to kick down my sinuses. The laugh was like, let me the fuck out. Yeah, dude. They jump onto the screen and then they fly around and you go like, dude, come on.
Graham Kay
And under communism, we wouldn't be able to fly around.
Dan Soder
Yeah, yeah. And then they get in a chariot and they ride to earth and you're like, dude, this is the best thing I've seen.
Graham Kay
So I gotta see
Dan Soder
Shenyan.
Graham Kay
This is China before communism.
Dan Soder
Yeah. And then they do a thing where they're like, this stuff bad. It's just, it's phenomenal propaganda.
Graham Kay
That's. How'd you guys get dressed?
Dan Soder
You dressed up?
Graham Kay
Yeah. In where kimonos?
Dan Soder
Listen, brother, that's Japanese. Learn your Chinese. Did we, did we, did we find the dance of the water sleeve beautiful?
Graham Kay
Yes, absolutely, Certainly.
Dan Soder
So the really funniest part is that there's these two presenters that come out and kind of tell you it. And there was a Chinese woman named Julie, I'm sure that was her name. That's how you feel when you go to a casino and you go, oh, your name is Aubrey. Sure, yeah, but Julie. And then this white guy. But the white guy, when setting up, some of the things in Shen Yun would speak in a way where you're like, did you babble fish? This straight from Mandarin to English. Because you go, the next one is about a dance of a monkey. Monkey meets Crane. Crane is wise. And I'm like, Katie could feel me be like, dude, why is he talking
Graham Kay
like a white guy? Saying, yeah.
Dan Soder
And he's going like, crane learns Taoism, Crane learns Dao is powerful. Monkey now trains with master. And I was like, dude, why is he talking? Dude, you're white. Yeah, I know you have some guy to look up. Because I was like, why is he talking like this? It's like, I don't know, it's about to break me.
Graham Kay
My two month old son's like, I get this.
Dan Soder
Yeah, yeah. That's how I speak too. Yeah, dude, it was, it was, it was tough. Go. So if you really want to test your power of your abdomen, go see Shenyan. But I kind of like stuff like that because it makes me feel like back in school when you'd be laughing at a presentation with your friend. Those are the best laughs. When you're not allowed to laugh.
Graham Kay
Yeah, it was the best. It was the worst and the best. And then we like went out and we just were like, hey, let's. We had like a nice hang after dude, we, like, were friends for the rest of the fest because of that.
Dan Soder
I won't give any names on this story because I don't want it coming back to me or Katie in a way, but we were at a family event, and we watched a drunk family member fall in a way that it took it.
Graham Kay
I'm already in. Let me tell you.
Dan Soder
I cannot give any more information.
Graham Kay
Yeah. Yeah.
Dan Soder
I will not say whose family it was. I will not say where it was. I will just say a drunk family member fell, and it. We had to go into the bathroom together. And I laughed in a way that I thought I was gonna throw up because I was one of the only people that witnessed the fall, but Katie was with me, so she heard the thud, and then she was like, once we made sure the family member was all right, I was like, can you come with me into the bathroom? And I almost threw up. I was laughing so hard. Because those are the best laughs where you go, come on. Yeah. The world would be a brighter place if you could just do that thing of like. Yeah, yeah. Like, if you in that comic would have laughed at that moment instead of getting in trouble. If you would have gone, like, come on.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
People would go, like, all right. It was out of nowhere.
Graham Kay
I think other people, maybe five other people would have laughed, too, but it would have ruined the show, and we would have been kicked out of Scotland.
Dan Soder
But you in those. That group of seven of you.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
Would have been a merry band. You guys would have been laughing. That's the hardest part, is when you're at a. A quote, unquote. I know it's like an art festival, but a comedy festival.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
And they expect you to take something seriously and you go, don't do that. Yeah, don't do that to me.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
So did you feel. Did that. That didn't, like, influence the way you built the show, Pete and me?
Graham Kay
That. And watching that guy get.
Dan Soder
Yeah, yeah. Where you go. I don't want that moment. Because there's a moment where you go, pete was trapped in alone and ever. You know, you could have done that. You could have hit the brakes on something serious. The topic is very serious.
Graham Kay
I think that. That I have diff. Like, he was. That particular performer was trying to do something different than I was trying to do, and I think I have different taste than him.
Dan Soder
Okay.
Graham Kay
I'll say it like that.
Dan Soder
Very nice way of saying. Yeah, what? A Canadian way. Yeah, I'm saying that.
Graham Kay
No, but that's a good question. Like, you don't want to get Too, like. Melancholy. And you, you don't, you don't want to get. Yeah. You don't want to get too, like, too corny in a way.
Dan Soder
That's what I. That's. That's probably the best way of saying it because that's how I felt. Because at the time when I was doing my Fringe run, I had a large chunk about my dad dying of drinking. But the whole point of my joke was that this is gonna be funny.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
This is just gonna be funny the whole way through me.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
It's like, it's okay. You can laugh at it too. Even if your dad's alive and doesn't like alcohol, just laugh at the joke. And there was this thing of like, you go to fringe and they really want you to be like, make it sad, as I want the opposite.
Graham Kay
It's like this weird thing where they want it to be like. Like trauma porn.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Graham Kay
And it's. It's like, can we do it? I don't. I want this to be. I want this special to be happy and fun and silly and show that he's cool and that if you have a brother with autism or a son with autism, your life is not ruined.
Dan Soder
Sure.
Graham Kay
And that is the point of this, because I. Everything I watched when I was a kid, when they were like, peter has autism. Watch this VHS tape about autism, maybe want to blow my head off, you know? You know what I mean? It's like, I want something that like a 14 year old kid in my shoes can watch.
Dan Soder
Sure.
Graham Kay
And be like, oh, it's gonna be cool. It's gonna be fun.
Dan Soder
Oh, I'm gonna have a friend and a brother and everything. It's just, there's gonna be some special things that we need to take care of.
Graham Kay
100.
Dan Soder
Yeah.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
I love that. And I think that's like, exactly what someone. You know, I like when people make for, like past versions of themselves. Where you go, I, you know, I could have used this hour when I was 14. You know what I mean? Like, I think about that sometimes with my stand up where I go. I would have liked hearing that joke when I was 14 or 15 and my dad died being like, oh, yeah, yeah. Why am I looking at it? Sad. He ripped, he drank. Go, Gary. You know, and you go, oh, that would. Even though I know it maybe might not have solved what I was going through. It's just like, there's a little alleviation.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
Where you go, this feels good now. Do you.
Graham Kay
Do you think that would make you feel good?
Dan Soder
Yeah. If I would have seen that when
Graham Kay
I was younger, right after he died.
Dan Soder
Yeah. I would have been like, oh, that's funny. Because I think with me, what Stand up did, especially when I was younger, was it taught me that, like, you could make fun of that I didn't think you could make fun of. Yeah, that always blew me away.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
That I was like, oh, my God. I mean, you know, and I'm not gonna say the words, but Chris Rock bring the pain. The black people versus N word bit. Yeah, I saw that. I was like, that's crazy.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
What a joke. And you, like, see the construct of the joke and you're like, the comparison and you go, oh, that's brilliant. Brilliant. And I think that's why, like, that's part of the reason why I'm against making comedy for kids. Because I think you're robbing them of
Graham Kay
who's making comedy for kids.
Dan Soder
There's just people that go like, you know, I love Nate, but Nate's like, kids should be able to watch standup. And I go, I agree with that. But I also think you shouldn't make jokes for kids. No, I think you should make jokes. My favorite part of Stand Up.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
Was having. Was learning why it was funny.
Graham Kay
Yes. And be like watching your dad or grown ups laugh.
Dan Soder
Oh, my God.
Graham Kay
And then the moment when you're like 11ish and you get it on the same level and you're like, I'm in.
Dan Soder
Yes.
Graham Kay
I'm like a grown up.
Dan Soder
I feel.
Graham Kay
I love that feeling. I love that feeling. I still get it when I see grown ups laughing.
Dan Soder
But I would say. I would say that's part of my biggest problem with entertainment that's being made now, Is there? And listen, I'm talking about as someone that's developed shows, that's gone to the networks and heard what they're saying and they go like, well, kids need to be able to watch this. And you go, I don't think that's true. I think there is stuff. Now, granted, that's not everything that's being made, but in comedy, there is a lot of people at networks, the big networks that want like, well, kids got to be able to watch this. And you go, well, I want a kid to get in trouble for watching.
Graham Kay
Yes.
Dan Soder
And not in an easy, dirty way of just dirty words. Or they're just saying stuff like, I want a kid to go like, well, that's kind of an adult themed thing. That's why I liked Mel Brooks so much.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
Because it felt like I was listening to an adult conversation that maybe I wasn't supposed to understand.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
And then it's what you said. It's. When you did understand it, they were like, yo, this rules.
Graham Kay
It rules. I will say Nate's and Nate's. Nate's engine is whatever he thinks is funny.
Dan Soder
Sure.
Graham Kay
And. But it's mostly about a kid can hear it and not be and not have a. A parent go like. Like have to have a weird, an uncomfortable. I don't know. So, I mean, it's not like we all have different styles, and his style just perfectly adheres to that.
Dan Soder
That's what I'm saying. He's just like, perfect. He's perfectly funny and doesn't cuss. Yeah. Yeah. And it's also what I've always said about Nate. It's like finding out one of your favorite desserts is. Also has health benefits.
Graham Kay
Yeah. Yeah.
Dan Soder
Where you go, really? I'm not an absolute piece of. For liking this, but yeah, he's a raspberry. He is. You go, duh. I can eat so many of these.
Graham Kay
Yeah.
Dan Soder
Do you think Pete's gonna now expect you to have jokes about him, like, the next hour? Whatever it's about, if he sees it, he's like, hey, you talk about me, bro?
Graham Kay
I maybe. I don't know. I don't think so. I don't think he cares.
Dan Soder
That's also.
Graham Kay
He does not care. He doesn't really. He'll be like, you're doing comedy. That's good. Yeah, One time he did ask me. He goes, you're doing. I'm doing him. Well, hey, man, I'm gonna do jokes about our. Our friend, our relationship. You know, it's called. It's a show called Pete and Me. And he goes, are they nice jokes about me? And I go, yeah, they are nice jokes about you. And he goes, that's good. That's the only time he's ever asked anything about my stand up, man.
Dan Soder
What if he called in and, you know, you're saying, like, he doesn't have the counting thing of autism or whatever. What if he calls you? You found out his autism was just breaking down jokes. He just annihilates you. He goes, hey, Bert, that's not a premise. Yeah, hey, that's just a thought you could write down. You go, all right, well, let's chill the out on that. You're very wordy. You call that a callback? Yeah. You go, stop nailing me right now. I'm trying to get this hour out.
Graham Kay
You know what? I don't like autism. I just hang up.
Dan Soder
Feels to me like you should move back in with mom and I should have that apartment.
Graham Kay
Yeah,
Dan Soder
go watch it. It's fantastic.
Graham Kay
Thanks, dude.
Dan Soder
Pete and me. It's. The link is in the YouTube. Go watch. Graham K. Thanks. You've seen him before on the show. He's hilarious and one of my oldest friends.
Graham Kay
You're the best.
Dan Soder
You're the best. You're the best. Pete. If you're watching this show, him probably won't, but go. Spiderman.
Graham Kay
You won't watch it.
This episode centers on comedian Graham Kay’s new special, "Pete and Me," which spotlights his relationship with his brother Peter, who is autistic. Host Dan Soder and Graham dive deep into family dynamics, the specific triumphs and challenges of making comedy out of personal truth, and the emotional tightrope of representing disability in an honest, funny, and non-exploitative way. Along the way, the conversation veers into parenthood, stand-up craft, the pressure of comedy festivals (especially Edinburgh Fringe), and why the best laughs are sometimes the ones we struggle to stifle.
[02:21 – 04:28]
“The very fun reveal was her, like, going to make a coffee and being like, where did you get that? You're like, ooh, is that a little stinker?”
— Dan Soder (04:17)
[04:34 – 06:26]
“You got a FUT. It’s called a FUT procedure, where they take hair from the back of your head and put it on the top of your head.”
— Dan Soder (05:34)
[06:37 – 09:08]
“There are people that have regular lives or whatever… So now my brother has a thing that if you leave him alone for four to six days, he'll die. But…this guy rules. Loves toys and cartoons. I'm going, what's up Pete? Were we hanging?”
— Dan Soder (07:30)
[09:08 – 11:27]
“I hate to take your dad’s side on this. He’s consistent.”
— Dan Soder (08:55)
[11:27 – 14:47]
“I'm not worried about it, and she is not worried about it. She hasn't said anything.”
— Graham Kay (13:46)
[15:44 – 21:14]
“He’s so good. I mean, one of like, the highlights of my life was when Billy was born...he goes, 'Peter Parker, Spider-Man.' And then takes the baby. Idiot.”
— Graham Kay (15:54)
[21:29 – 34:06]
“I want this special to be happy and fun and silly and show that he’s cool and that if you have a brother with autism or a son with autism, your life is not ruined.”
— Graham Kay (55:26)
[36:06 – 43:05]
“We do shows every night in the city. In a big city. In a big city...with big buildings with no castles, empty penthouses.”
— Dan Soder (41:26)
[43:10 – 46:01]
“A comic that's comfortable with silence on stage reminds me of the confidence of a man that's comfortable without his shirt.”
— Dan Soder (45:01)
[54:35 – 56:20]
"Everything I watched when I was a kid, when they were like, 'peter has autism, watch this VHS tape about autism,' made me want to blow my head off, you know? I want something that like a 14 year old kid in my shoes can watch and be like, oh, it's gonna be cool. It's gonna be fun."
— Graham Kay (55:26)
On stealing signs and family pranks:
“Where did you get that? You're like, ooh, is that a little stinker?”
— Dan Soder (04:17)
On hair transplants:
"If they have different texture hair, they probably have had a hair transplant."
— Dan Soder (05:01)
On representing autism honestly in comedy:
“There's no superpowers. It is...there are people that don't show signs.”
— Dan Soder (07:08)
On family as comic material:
“You have to prep them.”
— Dan Soder (08:34)
On naming traditions:
“My uncle Tony calls my cousin Nolan Joe. For no reason.”
— Graham Kay (21:35)
On audience reactions to autism material:
“Parents are coming up to me and, and, and crying after the show, being like, we have an autistic child… It was a lot for us. We were trying to get away from it tonight and we couldn't.”
— Graham Kay (33:42)
On resisting “trauma porn” in festival comedy:
“It’s like this weird thing where they want it to be like...like trauma porn. And it's...can we do it? I don't. I want this to be...happy and fun and silly and show that he's cool and that if you have a brother with autism or a son with autism, your life is not ruined.”
— Graham Kay (55:13)
On why comedy can’t just be for kids:
"I want a kid to get in trouble for watching... and not in an easy, dirty way of just dirty words... I want a kid to go like, well, that's kind of an adult themed thing."
— Dan Soder (58:06)
On growing with the craft:
"You go, I would have liked hearing that joke when I was 14 or 15 and my dad died being like, oh, yeah, yeah. Why am I looking at it? Sad. He ripped, he drank. Go, Gary. You know..."
— Dan Soder (55:42)
This episode of Soder Podcast is a moving, laugh-out-loud but nuanced exploration of comedy as both family therapy and personal storytelling. Honoring Graham’s special, the show weaves honest reflections about growing up with an autistic brother into a broader meditation on the risks and rewards of truthful comedy. For those who want to understand how comics turn complex family realities into resonant, accessible art, it’s a master class — with plenty of laughs along the way.
“I want this special to be happy and fun and silly and show that he's cool and that if you have a brother with autism or a son with autism, your life is not ruined.”
— Graham Kay (55:26)