146: Locked Out with Jake Johnson | Soder Podcast | EP 143

Summary

Soder Podcast Episode 146: "Locked Out" with Jake Johnson

August 4, 2026

Episode Overview

In this heartfelt and hilarious episode of the Soder Podcast, host Dan Soder welcomes actor Jake Johnson (noted for "New Girl," "Tag," and much more) for a deep-dive conversation that drifts seamlessly from chaotic childhoods and pet stories to addiction, single mothers, the meaning of "dad," and the art of comedy. The episode is peppered with specific and moving reflections on broken dads, tough moms, how trauma shapes humor, and the craft behind acting and improv. It closes with a genuinely enthusiastic plug for Jake’s new film "The Dink" (out July 24 on Apple TV).

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Pets, Childhood, and Chaotic Households

(02:24–09:08)

• Jake shares the story of adopting a retired guide dog who’d been “too wild” for service — reflecting on a childhood with misbehaving dogs and “old-school” parenting techniques.
  • “They brought her back to guide dogs, but they couldn’t reprogram her. So that becomes available for adoption.” — Jake (02:50)
• Both discuss their upbringing around unruly pets, analogizing wild animals to wild people they’ve encountered in life.
  • Jake: “We always had dogs who bit.” (03:11)
  • Dan: “Did you have the house where the dog would not stop barking when a friend would come over?” (03:13)
• Stories include Dan’s mom’s adopted “oil Derrick” dog and Jake’s “outdoor cat” that survived coyotes, leading to broader thoughts about tough animals and the way hard experiences can form character.
  • Jake, about the cat: “You’re probably the toughest individual I’ve ever met.” (06:35)

2. Deeper Truths: Translating Animal Experiences to People

(08:18–09:50)

• Dan and Jake make a comedic analogy between unruly dogs and unpredictable, “dangerous” acquaintances, equating some friends to “wild animals” you introduce carefully.
  • Dan: “It’s almost like being a falconer, where you go, that guy looks dangerous. And you go, watch this. And he lands on your arm.” (08:18)
• Pet racism anecdotes open a nuanced discussion about dogs barking at Black friends, the discomfort, and introspection it triggers.
  • Jake: “Somebody really bummed me once, goes, damn, you don’t have enough Black people over.” (10:09)

3. Service Industry, Humble Beginnings, and Early Sobriety

(10:54–15:46)

• Both reflect on working in NYC’s service industry in the 2000s, the “mandatory” drinking/stoned culture, and finding coping mechanisms for stressful, low-status jobs.
  • Dan: “When you’re a waiter in New York City, it’s almost mandatory you drink.” (12:19)
  • Jake: “For majority of my day jobs before acting started, drinking or getting stoned before a day job was just part of it.” (12:22)
• Jake describes working weddings on boats, the grossness of catering uniforms, and his respect for older workers who keep a positive attitude.
  • “Now that I’m getting near 50... when it’s a full-on adult... I’m like, you got a fucking great attitude and you’re grinding here.” — Jake (14:13)

4. Comedy, Roasting, and Sensitivities

(16:00–21:53)

• Jake touches on improv vs. stand-up, referencing Hannibal Buress, Chappelle, and the fragility of being the subject of impressions or roasts.
  • Dan: “Nobody likes an impression of themselves, by the way.” (17:13)
  • Jake: “Some people know how to be cool about it... but everyone’s getting their feelings hurt.” (17:18)
• The conversation becomes a deep look at why certain jokes hit a nerve, comparing it to pro wrestling: “It’s like a joke that you’re not used to, you go, by the way, that is exactly right.” — Jake (17:41)
• Both admit to having “psychotic pauses” when someone unintentionally hits an exposed nerve.
  • Jake: “I do the psycho’s pause... in my eyes... I don’t know if I like them anymore. 14 years of friendship. Gone.” (18:19)

5. Broken Dads and Single Moms: Unvarnished Family Histories

(29:04–46:59)

• Jake and Dan compare stories of absent or alcoholic fathers, the false promises, and the emotional whiplash of childhood anticipation turning to disappointment.

  • Jake, on his dad: “He lived near. But it was like the Terrell Owens thing. My dad is three miles that way... but never at a game, never at anything... He would call, say we were going to go golfing, not come.” (30:21)
  • Dan, on his father: “He just. My parents got divorced. He hung around for three months. Then he was like, all right, I’m gonna go to San Francisco. And then I had to be, like, sent out by myself to go find him.” (29:22)

• Both describe the moment of waiting outside, hoping their dads would show up, then transitioning to the survival mechanism of “retreating upstairs” when disappointment inevitably struck.

  • Jake: “I was sitting outside, and I remember the sadness of her... You’re overreacting, goofy, he's coming. And then with each 15 minutes…” (32:45)
  • Dan: “The hardest part is going like, I thought we were gonna fix it. I thought you were gonna come back or at least have some resolution.” (29:49)

• Both also reflect on fantasizing about angry showdowns with their fathers and how that anger tempered over time.

  • Jake: “Mine was going to my dad’s condo and beating him up... It was soothing.” (40:28)

• The role of single mothers is honored repeatedly; both men recognize the “full-court press” of stressed-out moms trying to do everything and the unspoken “partnerships” they develop with their kids.

  • Dan: “My mom has always been my rock.” (41:57)
  • Jake: “My mom and I... we had an unspoken deal. And that deal was, we’re gonna make this work together.” (56:06)

6. Addiction, Recovery, and Reconciliation

(43:45–51:05)

• The complexities of addiction are laid bare, with both sharing skepticism about “disease” labeling, countered by honest discussions about allergy analogies and eventual acceptance.

  • Dan: “I would rather have a substance addiction than sex, food, or money or gambling.” (49:03)
  • Jake: “My brother and I have an unfortunate take... we've always had a really hard thing with calling addiction a disease.” (47:05)
  • Jake, on redefining the disease: “Take away the word disease and view it... as just an allergy. And by the way, all my little bitchiness for no reason — I think it’s so wonderful you’re in the program.” (49:42)

• As Jake’s father sobers and re-enters his life, the years-long process of genuine reconciliation is explored.

  • “So my dad then did sober up, was always consistent. Kept showing up, great. And then as I got older in life, I would lean on him.” — Jake (50:19)
  • “Years... probably when I was about 35.” — On when Jake believed his dad was truly different (46:35)

7. Comedy as Survival and Family Bonding

(59:04–64:22)

• The roots of comedy in survival instincts are highlighted, as both recall using jokes to manage tension at home.
  • Jake: “If I could find... in the rhythm of right now with this dialogue, how do I get that woman to think this is funny? And when you find that... that’s when we became real comedy partners.” (59:38)
• Jake fondly recounts a word game with his brother and late father, using inside jokes and improv to connect, even as his dad’s mind faded: “My brother would text me, pink monkeys... and I would go, too hard... and then we would die laughing.” (62:22–63:42)
• Dan misses having a comedic partner sibling, finding it instead with his fiancé.

8. New Projects: "The Dink" and the Joys of Small-Budget Comedy

(64:35–70:36)

• Jake enthusiastically plugs The Dink, his upcoming indie comedy about pickleball, friendship, and unexpected romance.
  • “It’s based in real life... these older women... they killed him [at pickleball]... started getting coffee with him. He was becoming friends with them...” (67:03–68:06)
  • “And then you like, make the move [on Mary Steenburgen]. And she goes like, no... I’m not sexually interested in you. That’s... and I went, Sean, I love this movie.” (68:37)
• Dan lauds the era of mid-2000s comedy (role models, Superbad, Sarah Marshall), lamenting its absence and praising Jake for keeping the tradition alive.
  • “Everything you’re describing right now makes me think of that period... where it was just a good setup.” (69:03)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Feral Childhoods and Comedy:

• “We always had dogs who bit.” — Jake Johnson (03:11)
• “You don’t know what this can be.” — Jake, on pampered dogs vs. tough dogs (04:27)
• “You’re probably the toughest individual I’ve ever met.” — Jake, on his outdoor cat Peter (06:37)

On Family and Broken Dads:

• “The hardest part is going like, I thought we were gonna fix it. I thought you were gonna come back or at least have some resolution.” — Dan Soder (29:49)
• “My mom has always been my rock. ... If my mom didn’t raise me, there could have been a really bad ending.” — Jake Johnson (41:57)
• “I think you know, it doesn’t get enough credit... how feral I would have been [without my mom].” — Dan (42:19)

On Addiction:

• “Take away the word disease and view it... as just an allergy.” — Jake (49:42)
• “You have an allergy and that allergy makes you lose control. When you have a sip and you drink too much, you fuck your life up. I think that’s so great for you and so great for my dad.” — Jake (50:09)

On Mother-Son Partnerships:

• “My mom and I... had an unspoken deal: we’re gonna make this work together.” — Jake (56:06)
• “You were a team... You were locked in with Trish.” — Jake to Dan (54:22–54:51)
• “... always my biggest fan... The only people I can ever relate to when they talk about moms is rappers.” — Jake (55:10)

On Surviving with Comedy:

• “What I love about acting... what I’m in it for is the tone and the tone management... the vibe would start getting tense... so what if I tried to take the tone that is clearly going sideways... and how do I get that woman to think this is funny?” — Jake (58:59–59:38)
• “If you get past this 20 minutes... we’re gonna go back to off. But we just gotta get past this 20.” — Jake, on surviving family conflict with humor (60:25)

On New Film, "The Dink":

• “We’re just going after bits and then there’s emotional heart in the middle.” — Jake (66:55)
• “I love that. And it’s on Apple TV. July 24th. This is the most sincere plug I’ve ever done on a podcast.” — Dan (70:36)

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Important Timestamps

• Pets, wild animals, and childhoods: 02:24–09:08
• Dangerous friends & wild animals analogy: 08:18–09:50
• NYC service industry, sobriety: 10:54–15:46
• Comedy, roasts, and sensitivity: 16:00–21:53
• Fathers, disappointment, & parental abandonment: 29:04–46:59
• On addiction & redemption: 47:05–51:05
• Mother-son dynamics & single parent roles: 54:22–57:47
• Comedy as survival at home: 58:59–64:22
• Plug for "The Dink", indie comedy process: 64:35–71:06

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Tone & Style

The entire conversation is driven by a combination of warmth, raw honesty, and biting humor typical of comedians who’ve processed tough upbringings through laughter. Both Jake and Dan riff energetically, never shying away from dark or taboo subjects, but invariably steering the conversation back to the power of resilience, found family, and the healing power of comedy.

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For Listeners:

If you’ve dealt with family dysfunction, wrangled wild pets (or people), worked soul-crushing jobs, or wondered if comedy really is “tragedy plus time,” this episode offers catharsis, laughs, and a sense of genuine kinship. Don’t miss Jake Johnson’s new film, "The Dink" (Apple TV, July 24), which stands as the comedic “set piece” celebration both guys miss from their childhoods and careers.

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End of Summary

Transcript

[Dan Soder]

Meet Keith Loving Dad Board game Champ Bus Driving Pro I drive 65,000 miles in my bus each year. If people knew what I know, lives could be saved. Like how there are some things I simply can't see on my route. The other day a car tried to sneak past me and ends up right in my blind spot. I turn slowly so accident avoided but no car should be in the blind spot for a 40,000 pound bus.

[Jake Zamanski]

It's our roads.

[Dan Soder]

It's our safety.

[Jake Zamanski]

Visit www.sharetheroadsafely.gov Wildfires can start in an instant. At Pacific Power, we've invested in advanced technology to stay one step ahead. From predictive modeling by our meteorologists to wildfire cameras and weather stations that give our Wildfire Intelligence center teams a real time view of changing conditions. Together, these tools help us spot wildfire risk, allowing us to make fast, data informed decisions to protect the people and communities that count on us. Learn more at pacificpower.slashwildfire Punch Up.

[Dan Soder]

Live. Go check out our movie. Watch along. We did Made in Manhattan from a popular comedy festival. I don't know if we're gonna say it. I'm afraid if we say it we might get in trouble. But we did it at a very popular comedy festival. That was fun and I got Tim Dillon, Joe DeRosa and James McCann to watch made in Manhattan with me. So if you go to punch up.live sign up, give them your email address. Not only will you be on my mailing list, which we don't spam, it's just when I'm in town and you'll be able to watch this for free for absolutely nothing. We had such a good time. Pimp did a great job editing it. Put it up on Punch up. Go check it out. Punchup live. Hey. Spokane, Washington August 20th through August 22nd, I'm going to be at Spokane Comedy Club in Spokane, Washington. I'm excited to come back. I love it. I'm bringing the very funny Tom Thakar with me and we're going to have a hell of a time. And then all the way in September. Empire Comedy Club in Portland, Maine. Tickets are almost sold out, but if you go to dansoder.com all my live dates are posted. See which show I'm I'm you're the closest to and come on out and I'll see you there. I'll do today. Even today when I was doing some work, she just sat next to me and was like not. It's never enough.

[Jake Zamanski]

No. I have a retired guide dog that we adopted and how Old were how she was three.

[Dan Soder]

Okay.

[Jake Zamanski]

She did it, got the assignment, passed all the tests, got a woman up in Oregon. And then I guess the woman got sick or was a little abusive and left her in a cage too much. So she got weird. So they brought her back to guide dogs, but they couldn't reprogram her. So that becomes available for adoption.

[Dan Soder]

Sure. Because they go, if we give this to a blind person, they're going to run out in traffic dogs, a maniac.

[Jake Zamanski]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

They're just gonna run.

[Jake Zamanski]

Right on. She's a liability.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

But like a pet chimp. She's a very smart liability.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

So I was like, oh, I grew up with really wild animals.

[Dan Soder]

Okay.

[Jake Zamanski]

I was like, I would love. Not like wild, just untrained dogs.

[Dan Soder]

So you were in the house.

[Jake Zamanski]

We always had dogs who bit.

[Dan Soder]

Did you have dog? Did you have and, you know, shout out my friend Joey. I still love him to death. Did you have the house where the dog would not stop barking when a friend would come over?

[Jake Zamanski]

Not only that, the dog would attack if the dog got out. It was like a coyote on the streets.

[Dan Soder]

How many dogs did you have growing up? There was always that were a problem. At any given time, every single dog. Every dog you had was a problem. Why were they not? Your mom was just like, I love dogs, and I'm never going to give them rules.

[Jake Zamanski]

The opposite. My mom. My mom was like a little bit of the old school. And there was some. This is not for camera, but there was some techniques she did for punishment.

[Dan Soder]

You know what? My mom watches this podcast, so I know my mom's watching this. There were moments when my mom scolded my dog where I was like, don't do that. Don't do you. Don't rub their face in it. That kind of shit. Yeah. And then, so. So, yeah, that would make sure.

[Jake Zamanski]

There was a few things my mom would do to dogs that looking back. Yeah. I went like, you tipped him over the edge.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. Dude, you can't.

[Jake Zamanski]

You can't. Well, especially now I've married a very sweet woman. I got a whole different life. But now we treat our dogs like they're essentially children.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

But every once in a while, I'll look and I'm like, you don't know me.

[Dan Soder]

You have no idea.

[Jake Zamanski]

You don't know. You don't know what this can be.

[Dan Soder]

That's what we say to her whenever she's, like, being too much of a, like, prima donna or. Or kind of, like primpy. And we're like, yo, there's dogs that just sleep outside. So don't make us.

[Jake Zamanski]

There are homeless people that have your breed.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. We've walked by, you know, and don't act like you're a real dog. You're not a real dog. You're a pampered ass bitch.

[Jake Zamanski]

So we have two dogs. We have a retired guide dog, and then we have a dog that was a backyard breeding dog that ran off. But then we got her, and she's an Australian shepherd.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, those?

[Jake Zamanski]

Love them.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

My other dog, my lab, the retired guide dog.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

Looks at them like we're both the same thing.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

The other one I look at once in a while, I'm like, I get you.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

But we don't get this.

[Dan Soder]

My mom adopted a dog. The last. The most recent dog she adopted, they found on an oil Derek in New Mexico, like, living there for days. And the crew would, like, feed it. And it was a really sweet. It's. She is the sweetest dog in the world.

[Jake Zamanski]

That's my dog. Who's the mini Aussie?

[Dan Soder]

Okay.

[Jake Zamanski]

She's just special.

[Dan Soder]

It is freckles. My mom's dog is, like, the sweetest dog in the world where it's too much. Where you, like, pet her. And she's like. And you're like, all right, come on. You're, like, kind of creeping me out.

[Jake Zamanski]

You know what it is? It's when you're younger and you meet somebody who just got out of a bad relationship.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. And they're just like, can you hold my hand?

[Jake Zamanski]

And you're like, I'm into you. And you're right. I'm never gonna do that stuff. It's too much for me. I'm not full. I don't know how to do this, but I agree. We have a nice thing, but it's too.

[Dan Soder]

You go, put it away. Put your. Put that shit away. And she. And she'll be over there. But when we take. When we go on our road trip for Christmas and we're out in Denver and we have Myrtle and that dog playing, I'll say to Myrtle all the time, I go, that dog lived a life. That dog appreciates the food. So we appreciates everything it has.

[Jake Zamanski]

We had an outdoor cat, and I have allergies, so it can never come in. Peter, he lived with us for 14 years.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, he did.

[Jake Zamanski]

And I'm not kidding when I say. And this was from late. Some late nights on certain drinking days or when I was getting too stoned, where I would just look at him and I'd be Like, you're probably the toughest individual I've ever met. They'd be like a pack of coyotes that would come through the neighborhood. I would look at him and I'd be. Aaron would be like, should we bring him in the garage? And I'd be like, maybe try to get him. He would run off. I'd see him on a roof. I'd be like, you're the baddest motherfucker I ever met, dude. He had no respect for me. And we were both. I would honestly feel, when I would look at him at times where we were both trying to hustle my wife, where I'd be like, I got a nice thing cooking here, Peter.

[Dan Soder]

Don't fuck it up with Aaron.

[Jake Zamanski]

And he would look at me, be like, I see you, you fucking rat. And I'd be like, I'm in the house.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. I'm inside, you're outside. I'm straight.

[Jake Zamanski]

It's inside, you're out.

[Dan Soder]

I can lock you out.

[Jake Zamanski]

And I'm gonna fake and allerg. If.

[Dan Soder]

If Peter would have been a human, you would have been intimidated by him. If Peter, you would have been like a guy at a bar that you go, I'm not even gonna talk.

[Jake Zamanski]

My life goes one of two ways.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

Either I would have been so far away from people. There are certain people I meet and I go, something scary.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

And I don't care if everybody in my group goes, love that guy.

[Dan Soder]

No. Those are the scariest.

[Jake Zamanski]

I don't love that guy. Also, I don't want to be with him. If a knight gets on top of me, he's not the guy I want to be like. I did say something stupid.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

I was trying to be funny. Yeah. And I promise you, I didn't think about it.

[Dan Soder]

Please don't try to hurt me.

[Jake Zamanski]

Your reaction is at a 10. I live at a 4, brother.

[Dan Soder]

This is too much.

[Jake Zamanski]

Or that guy. Right away, it connects. Like Legos.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. And I'm like, those are my favorite people.

[Jake Zamanski]

You're the craziest person I've ever met. But I actually trust you like no one's business. And I really connect to you.

[Dan Soder]

There were people that, when I used to drink, like regulars at the bar, I'd go to that. When a new friend would come with me to a bar, it was almost like being a falconer, where you go, that guy looks dangerous. And you go, watch this. And he lands on your arm.

[Jake Zamanski]

And you go, exactly.

[Dan Soder]

And you go, oh. Now, he can get dangerous at any moment, so be careful around.

[Jake Zamanski]

He's a wild animal, but it won't be with me. As long as we're together, you're 100% safe. But here's what I promise you not to do. Don't move around fast.

[Dan Soder]

Do not. And also, don't get up quick.

[Jake Zamanski]

And don't go like this. Yeah, you're in trouble dead, too.

[Dan Soder]

If you have books, do not drop them on the ground. He will revert to Vietnam, where all this damage occurred.

[Jake Zamanski]

And guess what? Then you're on. But I have that way with our dog. Our dog, the guide dog. When they got there, would be, like, rules. Small kids can't come from behind. Skinny men in mustaches, uniform. There were, like, things she had.

[Dan Soder]

That's always why I think we freak out if your dog ever barks at a black person. Because a black person goes, well, now I know I'm your thing. I'm your. Don't walk up on a dog. You know what I mean? So what happened? Either racist or this dog was harmed by a black person.

[Jake Zamanski]

Yeah. Or what's really awful is you go, honestly, I don't know.

[Dan Soder]

That's.

[Jake Zamanski]

And then you go, and if it's between. Especially if it's a black friend.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, my God.

[Jake Zamanski]

You know. And they're going, what's up with your dog? You go, well, let me make something crystal clear. It doesn't speak English. It's heard no subtle joke references. It's just what that breed thinks right now. So either it's your people or it's just you, my man.

[Dan Soder]

Or you just got bad vibes.

[Jake Zamanski]

You have bad vibes when you.

[Dan Soder]

When it is a friend and you're apologizing and you say the. This never happens. You always, like, toss that out. Or you go, I don't know why this is happening.

[Jake Zamanski]

I don't know why this is happening.

[Dan Soder]

I don't know why this is happening. And then your black friend goes, I know, because you're racist. And you go, no, but that can't be.

[Jake Zamanski]

You know, it's just that he's barking. Somebody said to me. And I feel, Lauren, it might be somebody else, but. But I think what. Somebody really bumps me once. Who goes, damn, you don't have enough black people over.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

And I was like, oh, my God, My dog does not experience enough black people.

[Dan Soder]

That's what it is.

[Jake Zamanski]

Then you go, like, that's garbage. That's on me.

[Dan Soder]

Now I've got to save the last dance, my dog. Keep my dog rhythm.

[Jake Zamanski]

Mushy, annoying white guys. Come here.

[Dan Soder]

I'm gonna tell Katie to Go. We're leaving Soul Train on for her whenever we leave the house. That is gonna be the only way we get past this. We're going to put on old episodes of 106 in the park or Soul Train just to get our dog. You and I both waited tables in New York City from 2007. When did you stop? 07 earlier than that.

[Jake Zamanski]

So I lived here in 99 to 2002.

[Dan Soder]

Okay.

[Jake Zamanski]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Damn. You were here for 9 11.

[Jake Zamanski]

I was here for 9 11. I walked down to the towers at

[Dan Soder]

911 after it happened.

[Jake Zamanski]

Yeah. I was in Queens. It happened. I walked over the bridge, walked downtown and was just hanging out. And then.

[Dan Soder]

You haven't been approached by any law firms for mesothelioma? I believe you're. You might be. Now I'm just talking about subway abs, but you might be entitled. Were you also a Camp Lejeune?

[Jake Zamanski]

Will you represent me? And can we make a run at this and see what we can do?

[Dan Soder]

He goes, yeah, Dan Soto's a comic. Did you also know that he's like, ambulance chaser, but, like, did you also

[Jake Zamanski]

know he's my guy and he'll fuck

[Dan Soder]

you up in court? He's the bulldog.

[Jake Zamanski]

Wait, so did you stop drinking? Stop drinking?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, in 2013.

[Jake Zamanski]

So now meetings and all that, or did.

[Dan Soder]

No, I read a book called the Easy Way to Stop Drinking by Alan Carr, and it worked Well, I. I tried quitting, and I, like, tried going to meetings and stuff, and nothing. And then this book was, like, reframed the way that I looked at drinking, and it actually worked.

[Jake Zamanski]

Wow.

[Dan Soder]

And then once I got far enough, I, you know, I talked to friends of mine who were in the program, and they would tell me, like, 90 days. Get to 90 days. It's the truth. I got to 90 days and I

[Jake Zamanski]

was kind of, like, different.

[Dan Soder]

Why would I go back to that? That's cool, because I just remember the bad.

[Jake Zamanski]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

And when you're a waiter in New York City, it's almost mandatory you drink.

[Jake Zamanski]

Well, there's a. I honestly say for majority of my day jobs, before acting started drinking or getting stoned before, a day job was just part of it.

[Dan Soder]

Listen, you can take it. And I. And I. And feel free to take an ssri. Feel free to take something else. I needed a couple one hitters and a Dunkin Donuts on my way to open cafe.

[Jake Zamanski]

Yes. But not only that for me. So I used to. When I used to cater on boats. So we do weddings here in New York, in Los Angeles.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, my God. I can't imagine. That's like party down. Shit.

[Jake Zamanski]

Yes, it was exactly like party down.

[Dan Soder]

We were weddings.

[Jake Zamanski]

So you would do an entire wedding party and then you could do two in a night.

[Dan Soder]

On a boat.

[Jake Zamanski]

On a boat.

[Dan Soder]

So. So the boat does like a. A run.

[Jake Zamanski]

Exactly. I think it was Newport Beach. You pull up at the thing, you have your little tuxedo on. There's four of you total.

[Dan Soder]

How many tuxedo pieces did you own?

[Jake Zamanski]

I think, I mean, not a lot. Two or three.

[Dan Soder]

It's always my all blacks. I had maybe two shirts.

[Jake Zamanski]

It was. I mean, truthfully. And this is what people, when they do those events. It's disgusting stuff because you're not washing it that much.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, and you're sweating, you're sweating.

[Jake Zamanski]

And you get yellow neck on like the food splattering. My little. I'd be like. And I would get home to my disgusting apartment. I'd be like, should I wash it for. Tomorrow's off, man. I have 14 hours.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

I'm not spending four of them doing that.

[Dan Soder]

They would get mad when I would bring my apron, would just. I would just leave it at work because there's lockers and my apron would just. I did lunches. So I just, I made no money and I was running around and when I would clean it in the cappuccino

[Jake Zamanski]

station because of the steam and my

[Dan Soder]

manager's coming around, you're like, what? And he's like, that's disgusting. And you're like, I don't give a shit about this job. So I'm sure as fuck not gonna launder it after every shift. No, you bring it home and you go, what? Can I get off with water as fast as I can and so I can sit down and not think about going back tomorrow.

[Jake Zamanski]

I gotta say, I have still to this day, certain day jobs. I'll see people and I'll have so much respect. Especially now that I'm getting near 50. When I'll see somebody our age grinding it out and they seem to have a good attitude. I'm like, you're fucking awesome. Yeah, because. And I don't have it. If it's like a 27 year old, I'm like, don't care.

[Dan Soder]

I'm like, you don't know, 25, trying to upsell, get fucked.

[Jake Zamanski]

Don't care. Don't. I was like, whatever. But when it's a full on adult.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

And whatever you came to New York to do, or if this is what you want to do, you know, this is it through probably 65. And then you're gonna slow down and you're gonna figure it out. I go like, you got a fucking great attitude and you're kicking and grinding here and you're being less of a bitch than me. Yeah, and I'm bitching right now because, like, it was a little hot. And my bitching feels very real to me.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, they're older people that, you know. I don't know if you've ever worked at a steakhouse. No, but steakhouses are kind of where old waiters go to make, like, real money. Yeah. Because when you're at a steakhouse and you have an older waiter, there's just like this level of trust where you just go like, you're gonna know how to cook this. You're gonna know what, by the way.

[Jake Zamanski]

So anytime I do Kimmel now, I go to Frank Amuso's after and I'll say to the people there, cause I'm not going on a regular night.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Jake Zamanski]

So a buddy of mine will mostly come with me to the taping. And you get like the 400 bucks a night. So I go like, let's just piss all like, over order.

[Dan Soder]

Great.

[Jake Zamanski]

This is not real life.

[Dan Soder]

Great.

[Jake Zamanski]

I'm not gonna go like this. You're getting a shrimp cocktail. This is the first night in a while. I'm not gonna count anything.

[Dan Soder]

Don't just go nuts.

[Jake Zamanski]

It's just an hour of doing. And I'm not a stand up. So that night for me is like, it's not a pleasant feeling. Well, I'm like doing panel is.

[Dan Soder]

Is you. I mean, you come from the improv world.

[Jake Zamanski]

I know, but it was so long ago.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, but you still got it. You still have that, like, you still know how to. Like the way that, like when you watch Tom Brady play catch with someone before he does a Fox game, do the thing, and he's just going like, yes. Oh, I kind of know how to do it. I don't think I would.

[Jake Zamanski]

I don't want to do this.

[Dan Soder]

You're not on a team anymore. You're not running, you know, not doing.

[Jake Zamanski]

Ask at him or something. No, but what's different is. Is when you see a real standup doing it, they have all their bits so beaten down that they can still like. And I didn't really know this about standups, but I. My buddy Hannibal Burris, we made a movie years ago.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, tag.

[Jake Zamanski]

Tag was great.

[Dan Soder]

Shout out. Jeff, Tom.

[Jake Zamanski]

Jeff Tom. The great Tom. He's like, yo, I'm doing a show tonight. You want to come Chappelle's performance. By the way, you're Chappelle.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, thank you.

[Jake Zamanski]

It's on the fan. I watch your pod. Fan.

[Dan Soder]

Thanks, dude. I'm a fan, so that's great.

[Jake Zamanski]

But your stories where you would do

[Dan Soder]

Chappelle, I mean, Chappelle's my favorite. He's my number one of all time. Your Chappelle is So I, I, I've, I've met him briefly a couple times, but I don't really want to meet him because I just know someone showed him a clip and it's like, agreed. And we can. We both know this because we've worked in entertainment long enough. Nobody likes an impression of themselves, by the way.

[Jake Zamanski]

You're right.

[Dan Soder]

Nobody.

[Jake Zamanski]

Now, some people know how to be cool about it.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Jake Zamanski]

I think it's the same with roasted. So, yeah. People will go like, dude, these are a bunch of. These are my fucking friends. We rose. And then you're like, I know. Everyone's getting their feelings hurt.

[Dan Soder]

Some. A joke.

[Jake Zamanski]

A joke.

[Dan Soder]

And you know what it is? It's usually like, I'm a big pro wrestling guy. Pro wrestlers get injured in weird ways where it's like not falls they're used to.

[Jake Zamanski]

Right.

[Dan Soder]

And that's what happens. It's like a joke that you're not used to.

[Jake Zamanski]

And you go, by the way, that is exactly right. There's certain things. So my buddies and I will all roast each other constantly.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Jake Zamanski]

But it's always the same stuff.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

You know, you're being roasted on the stuff where, like, I know. I'm weird with that.

[Dan Soder]

Yes, I am. I do interrupt a lot. I am desperate for attention.

[Jake Zamanski]

I can't shut up. I can't. I'm not that smart.

[Dan Soder]

I am dumb. And it's like, I know that. And then they go like, also, you're not that big of a 49ers fan. And I'll be like, I'll kill you, bro. I'll fucking kill you, bro. Like, there's little one thing where they go, your dog's not well trained. It's like, I'll grab you in the throat.

[Jake Zamanski]

I do. Which is even worse.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

Is I do the. If they go like, you know, whatever it is, your dog's not. I'll do the like. And then I'll take the pause and it's the psycho's pause. Where you go like. And you go like. And in my eyes, for that second, I'm like, first of all, I don't know if I like them anymore. 14 years of friendship gone. Now I'm thinking of such mean things.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

That I'm like, well, I wouldn't want to say that to them because I know that would hurt him. But I'm like, but if I, like, laugh a little before and then I'm like, I'm turning into such a piece of shit. They didn't mean it. And then I go, I'm in the wrong situation for me.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, man. You know, a lot of times we do these ads and granted, whether it's like clothing or stuff that I'm wearing, I generally like to sell it. But I used Zoc Doc yesterday. I have a problem with my foot. I think I either pulled or damaged a tendon in my foot. I need to go see a podiatrist. I pulled up ZocDoc. I'm logged in. I got all my health insurance info in there. They gave me a doctor in network. I got an appointment for tomorrow morning and I made it yesterday. So within three days I got an appointment. I'm going to go meet my new podiatrist, probably get some inserts, maybe get some cream for my feet. I don't know what's going on with it, but I'm going to find out. All because of Zocdoc, because I went on Zocdoc on the app. You can also go to Zocdoc.com and you just can book a doctor that can help you with exactly what you need. I'm telling you, if you maybe you're moving to a new city, maybe you're starting a new job or insurance, a situation where you suddenly have to prioritize your health, you should use zocdoc.com your health matters. And taking care of yourself shouldn't be complicated. Find and book the right doctor with Zocdoc. Head to Zocdoc.com Soder to get started and check that appointment off of your to do list. That z o c doc.com/soder. If you're running a business, first off, congratulations, because I think you've got more chutzpah than I ever will. But starting a small business, very difficult. You need the right kind of tools to make sure it gets off the ground. Well, Square is the platform behind the scenes of so many businesses that you already love. Whether you're selling smoothies, cutting hair, fixing bikes, or running a boutique, Square gives you the one connected system to take payments, manage inventory, run payroll, send invoices, all of that stuff. It's not just a point of sale. Square also includes hardware that works in person. And on the go. And software for managing staff, marketing and customer insights. Banking tools like Square checking to get paid instantly. All the stuff you need is with Square. If you're starting a business or running one that deserves better tools. Square helps you sell, manage and grow without slowing down. Right now you can get up to 200 off 200 off square hardware at square.com go/soder. That's sq u a r e dot com g o slasher. Run your business smarter with Square. Get started today. Bobby Kelly had a joke from like I think of this joke at least once a month, but he has a. He had a joke 20 years ago about when your friends are making fun of you and you take it too far because you're mad and they're like, ah, yeah, you're a fucking loser. And he's like, yeah, well your mom's sick. And the guy goes, hey. You go, that's. That's always the feeling I have where I go way too quick.

[Jake Zamanski]

So. When I was growing up, my mother was from a family of nine brothers and sinners sisters in Chicago. Tough people.

[Dan Soder]

Crazy.

[Jake Zamanski]

My siblings and I are sissies from the suburbs. But my mother and her family were genuine tough people in Chicago. And they were. Yes, very genuine. Old school.

[Dan Soder]

Any accent.

[Jake Zamanski]

Yeah. Chicago. These and does.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

So t's become these. These are those.

[Dan Soder]

My brother Bob.

[Jake Zamanski]

Yeah, my brother Bob, you know, it'd be Bobby and everything's from the neighborhood. My brother Bobby's from the neighborhood. And then Timmy was over there. But this, this guy says to me,

[Dan Soder]

I love the north. The. Is that north or south? It's north Chicago.

[Jake Zamanski]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Where they go. I've been on the force for damn near 20 years. You'd think I'd have some respect from them. I like the Chicago.

[Jake Zamanski]

Like I don't know why people think

[Dan Soder]

Caleb Williams is a gay. I mean, he's got his nails painted, but the guy can put a ball on a dime. I like love that north.

[Jake Zamanski]

I love it.

[Dan Soder]

That north Chicago shit to me is up there with the Philly and the Boston accent. Oh, for sure. The best subtle because everyone knows a New York accent.

[Jake Zamanski]

Yes.

[Dan Soder]

Everyone knows a Texas accent. Everyone knows a Southern accent. But like the Mid Atlantic with Baltimore and Philly.

[Jake Zamanski]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

To me, Chicago, Boston, Philly and Baltimore.

[Jake Zamanski]

Especially when it comes to that type of man and sports.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

My favorite thing going to Caleb William has been watching that type of. That man now, by the way that you're describing is now 70 or dead.

[Dan Soder]

So that is really. Yeah, that old. The Bears. That's The Bears generation. The.

[Jake Zamanski]

There's a. The younger Chicago is different, sure, but that Chicago, that. Because I left in 2003. That was my dad and his group.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

Where the big. My father used to sell cars on the Saturday of Chicago. My father was in a commercial where he goes, it's City Chevrolet. He throws a ball like that. It cuts to a shot of the gun in the air. It swishes. Scotty, a rookie. Scotty Pippin and Horace Grant go. It's a sure shot.

[Dan Soder]

No way.

[Jake Zamanski]

Yes.

[Dan Soder]

Dude, that is. That's the. I call that the Webster shot.

[Jake Zamanski]

Yeah, my dad did a Webster shot. You throw it, it cuts to. And there was a period of the 80s that. That was cool, dude. It was. One editor goes like this. You know what you could do?

[Dan Soder]

Just put it in there.

[Jake Zamanski]

And everyone goes, you think it'll work? He goes, nobody will know, dude.

[Dan Soder]

They.

[Jake Zamanski]

They did it all the time.

[Dan Soder]

The Webster. I think Michael Jordan might be in the episode. I forget. There's an NBA player in the episode. And he's like, throw it up, little man. And he goes like, huh? Cut two. And then it goes, cut to switch. And you go. And it worked.

[Jake Zamanski]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

You know, I mean, now people would go, you.

[Jake Zamanski]

Well, now. Now you've got little weirdos in, like, green outfits doing trick shots and being like, I threw a ball off a mountaintop. And then there's like, a weirdo on a zip line being like, let me show you how it's done. I grabbed it.

[Dan Soder]

I love those. I If. When those come up in my feed of a guy in, like, a castle on a coastline, and he throws it and the ball goes, Dan, like, down in a hoop.

[Jake Zamanski]

I'm like, no way. I. I did until I saw one of the green guys. Now I hate those guys in a way.

[Dan Soder]

Okay.

[Jake Zamanski]

Could you imagine being like, all right, the two of us, let's say we're starting a business. We're real grinders. You know what I think we could do? We can make these videos use trick shots. I go, dude, I think we can start making 60, 70,000 bucks each. Let's all go to Scotland. You getting the weird green outfit you film, and I'm going like this. Here we are. You do this whole thing, all you're doing, it's like, worse than magic.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

Just try to hit a trick shot.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, I'm talking about the guys that

[Jake Zamanski]

actually hit real trick shot guys.

[Dan Soder]

Real trick shot guys. I'm not talking about the ones that fake that.

[Jake Zamanski]

No, but my problem is now I'm

[Dan Soder]

talking about the actual ones that keep trying, and you see them try, even those.

[Jake Zamanski]

I think you're believing in magic.

[Dan Soder]

I'm a pro wrestling fan. I'm a mark, dude. I believed Hulk Hogan was a good guy.

[Jake Zamanski]

His documentary was so fun.

[Dan Soder]

You get to episode four, and you go, there you go. You're gonna really talk about it. Because I had watched episode one, and I was ready to run through a wall for Hulkamania. And then I go right over everyone in the business. It was super racist. Got it. But I'm a mark, so, like, yeah, I love trick shots.

[Jake Zamanski]

Interesting.

[Dan Soder]

Total mark, dude. Can't go to Vegas. Can't go to anywhere where they could sell me, because they'll be like, this idiot. Can't go to a car lot. When we buy a car, she's gonna have to go, because I'm gonna be like, I'll take it. I'll take it right now.

[Jake Zamanski]

You know, I did a podcast. We're here to help. We'd love to have you on.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Jake Zamanski]

Gareth is my partner.

[Dan Soder]

Is Mark. Oh, my God.

[Jake Zamanski]

We used to call him option one.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

Literally, we don't even get to option two. We'll do bets with each other in real life. And it's like, literally, we'll go like we were talking years ago, where he's a big Packer fan, I'm a Bear fan. And he goes, there's no way Brad Favre is going to go to the Vikings, and if he does, he'll never win a Super Bowl. And I go, I think they're talking about him going to the bike, and if he does, they're going to be good. This was back then.

[Dan Soder]

I remember that. I remember that. I mean, I remember that NFC Championship.

[Jake Zamanski]

He goes, not a chance. He goes, dude, if he does that, I'll put a fucking pole in my dick and cut it off. And I go, well, you won't do

[Dan Soder]

that, because that's crazy.

[Jake Zamanski]

I was like, well, that's also stupid. We're on a hike. You're being stupid. But would you get a tattoo of Brett Favre in a Vikings jersey that covered your whole leg that said my mvp? And he goes, yeah. And we shook hands. I go, deal. There's a pause. And then he goes, well, what? What do I get if I don't? And I go, like, we already shook, man. You took option one. Wait for option two, brother. He still does it to this day.

[Dan Soder]

Gareth. I'm an option one boy. And that is why. But what's key in life is to find an option Two person to marry. Because she is so bogged down by option two that when we were furniture shopping when we moved from Jersey into this place, she was like, I looked at this couch. I don't know. I went in and I went in the store and I sat down. Take it. I'll take it. And she was like, what the. I go, well, you did the research, right?

[Jake Zamanski]

Yeah. So it's a nice place. So I'm a big option to guy.

[Dan Soder]

Okay.

[Jake Zamanski]

I am not a mark. I. I'm not and it's not. So I don't think marker, not mark has any mark of intelligence.

[Dan Soder]

Because I. Yeah, I just want people to be happy.

[Jake Zamanski]

The illusion that a non mark is like. Well, you got it all figured out.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

Just more paranoid.

[Dan Soder]

That's what it is.

[Jake Zamanski]

You just go like this.

[Dan Soder]

Can I tell you, that helps the insecurity of being a mark a little bit as you go.

[Jake Zamanski]

If someone's going like this.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

I don't know where it is, but I know you're me over. So someone's good. 20 bucks, I go like this. No, no, no. And then they go, you know, you were right. It was a hustle. I don't know what the hustle is. I know I'm not smart enough to figure it out. I know this fucking guy.

[Dan Soder]

I fucking know you.

[Jake Zamanski]

Goes like this. This is not a thing. It's summer. It's just fun. There's a marble. Catch the marble. If you get the marble, I go like this. I don't know what you're doing, but nobody in my group's giving you any money.

[Dan Soder]

If you were a cat, I'd spray bottle you right now.

[Jake Zamanski]

I'd fucking yes, whatever you're doing. And they'll be like, honestly, it's not. It's a promotion for Red Bull. Everybody wins. Did I go like this? You're not even faking me. I don't care that the CEO of Red Bull.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, you got a car with wings on it full of cans.

[Jake Zamanski]

Let me tell you this, pal. Pretty good hustle.

[Dan Soder]

Do you think that's because your dad was a car dealer and you kind of watched the. The sausage be made on getting on him, hustling people?

[Jake Zamanski]

Kind of. So my dad used lot, or it was used and it was Chevy. So my dad was gone when I was 2. Came back when I was 18, so I missed a lot of his stuff and.

[Dan Soder]

You mean gone. He was gone.

[Jake Zamanski]

Drunk, alcohol. Party guy.

[Dan Soder]

Shout out. Same here. Mine clocked out at 14, but. Okay, but what was your story?

[Jake Zamanski]

I heard it On a video. What?

[Dan Soder]

Was my dad drunk?

[Jake Zamanski]

Drunk?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, he was like an alcohol. Like, he was like an abandoned a family drunk. Like, where he was like, you'd go

[Jake Zamanski]

on a bender and be gone?

[Dan Soder]

No, he just. My parents got divorced. He hung around for three months. Then he was like, all right, I'm gonna go to San Francisco. And then I had to be, like, sent out by myself to go find him. And I would stay with him at my grandma's. And then they moved up to Northern California and shit got. And then it went from like seeing him twice a year to seeing him once a year to seeing him every other year to seeing him once every two. And then he died.

[Jake Zamanski]

Oh.

[Dan Soder]

So it was like. We never got that.

[Jake Zamanski]

So we never got the finish.

[Dan Soder]

No. Which.

[Jake Zamanski]

That's hard.

[Dan Soder]

I would argue for anybody that's lost a dad early or a mom and that has that kind of shit, the hardest part is going like, I thought we were gonna fix it. I thought you were gonna come back or at least have some resolution. So when he comes back at 18.

[Jake Zamanski]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Does he come back full into your life? I'm so. Or is he just go like.

[Jake Zamanski]

So when I. When I was 17, I was the youngest, so obviously I'm graduating.

[Dan Soder]

How many? Three. Okay.

[Jake Zamanski]

So he sobers up when you're 17. 17. Almost. About 18.

[Dan Soder]

When did your parents break up?

[Jake Zamanski]

When I was 2, so.

[Dan Soder]

And then he was gone.

[Jake Zamanski]

He lived near. But it was like the Terrell Owens thing.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. Where it would be like sit ups in the driveway.

[Jake Zamanski]

My dad is three miles that way.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

But never at a game. Never at anything. Never showed up. Never. He would call, say we were going to go golfing, not come for some reason. Oh, man, that move, that move, like,

[Dan Soder]

brother, that's what makes America is looking at headlights going, here he is.

[Jake Zamanski]

No, but that move where you'd be like, as a kid. Now I'm nearly 50. And it does change as you get older, but you look back and you go like, weird move, brother. Just don't invite.

[Dan Soder]

Can I tell you why? There was no ability to reach people besides letter or phone, so they knew they weren't on the hook. Because my dad gave a hell of a speech when I was 11 about catching my Pop Warner football game when I was in seventh grade to the point that I was like, dude, I've got. I was like doing more off season training to be like, I'm not going to be a bum when this guy shows up. I'm going to be good. And then by the end of the season, I was like, I talked to him once or twice. And I go, hey, you coming out? He goes, oh, the season's ending. You go, what do you think it's NFL? You think it's 16 weeks? We're fucking 12. We got eight games.

[Jake Zamanski]

You think we're going deep into the playoffs for network money?

[Dan Soder]

It's over before November. It's over before November. We don't. We're not going to be on Peacock. No one cares. We're at the. We're at Mission Viejo Park. But he did that thing and did your dad your. So your dad did the same thing.

[Jake Zamanski]

So my dad would do a thing where it would be. The movie Parenthood kind of shows it perfectly with Joaquin Phoenix.

[Dan Soder]

We're walking Phoenix. And that's where Keanu Reeves snaps on the guy.

[Jake Zamanski]

Yeah. Snap. And everyone come home and destroys the Dennis thing.

[Dan Soder]

Shout out.

[Jake Zamanski]

But that movie, I forgot about that. I know. So that scene for me, when I watched it, I was like, movies. That movie's cool.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

I was like. Because that is what it feel. You go like. Because you have to play to your mom and to other women.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

I don't care. And you don't even know why, because they're being sweet to you. So, like, my. My mom was at a. My sister had surgeries growing up, so my mom and my sister were gone, and my aunt was staying with us, and it was me and my brother, and my dad said he was gonna pick us up or something. I don't even remember what the context was, but my aunt told my mom, and my mom was like, he's not coming. And then my aunt said, jake, just let me help. It was like a whole, like, let me help you. We'll do it. And I was like, my dad's coming.

[Dan Soder]

Oh.

[Jake Zamanski]

And I was sitting outside, and I remember the sadness of her. Oh, I wasn't sad because I was like, you're overreacting, Goofy. He's coming. And then with each 15 minutes, I had to do the. At a certain point, like, you know what? I think I'm gonna bail on this and head back upstairs. Your read was incorrect.

[Dan Soder]

The read that I. What I'm thinking is a catch sounds awful. Right about now, I just have to

[Jake Zamanski]

say something kind of like, where I'm at. Pardon these tears. I'm having allergies.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. You know what I. You know what I just remembered is I have homework.

[Jake Zamanski]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

And something you don't want to do.

[Jake Zamanski]

You know, this old cat wants to do is I want to be in my room by myself, literally. No drama.

[Dan Soder]

And I. I'm gonna put my face in the pillow and I'd appreciate if you don't come in there.

[Jake Zamanski]

If you come in, it's a joke.

[Dan Soder]

I'm sleeping and. Oh, my God, I can't believe you thought I was sad. Cash App. Gotta use the Cash App. Gonna use the Cash App. Hey, listen, I know cash isn't king anymore. Now it's all about apps. What app you use and what app you can bank with and all that stuff. Sometimes, you know, they stink and sometimes they're great. That's what Cash App is. It's one of the great ones. It does more than you think when it comes to having your back and making sure your money stays your money. Cash App just released a new status program for the way people actually spend called Cash App Green. Now, when you spend at least $500 a month with Cash App Card, you earn green status, which unlocks benefits like $200 of overdraft coverage. Huge. If you overdraft unexpectedly, there are no hidden fees. You also unlock higher borrow limits and custom personalized cash back offers every Friday at places you love to shop. Turn everyday spending into status with Cash App Green. Download Cash App today and make your money work for you. Visit our link in the bio. Cash App is a financial service platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App Banks Partners Prepared debit cards issued by Sutton bank member FDIC Cash App Visa Double flex cards issued by Sutton Bank Member FDIC in the Bancorp N.A. pursuant to license from Visa USA Incorporated. See Terms and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card, Sutton Debit Flex cards and bank debit flex cards. Cash App Green features savings, direct deposit roundups, overdraft coverages and discount provided by Cash App, a Block incorporated brand. Visit cash.comapp legal podcast for full disclosure. Ooh, it's the summer. Ooh. Ooh. It means shorts, weather. And that's why check out Mack Weldon's Air Knit fabric. It's all errors. It's underwear that's designed to wick moisture, fight odor and give you maximum airflow. So even if you got those linen shorts on, sometimes those underwear can be bunchy. But you put that Mac Weldon airnet on.

[Jake Zamanski]

Whoo.

[Dan Soder]

Plus you can browse Aaron it's full [e-mail] plus get 20% off your first order of $125 or more with code Dan. We'll get back to that in a little bit. I'm saying this summer you're going to want to get some Pieces that you go, you know what? I can wear this, but I want to look in style. And I want stuff that's made comfortable, easy to style, versatile looks all that and more. So don't sweat the heat this summer. Feel as effortlessly cool as you look with Mack Weldon. Go to mack weldon.com. get 20% off your first order of $125 or more with code Dan. With promo Code Dan. That's M, A C K W E l d o n.com code dan. I. There is something to be said about when you're a teenager or young, in your teens, and you see an adult, be sad. Worse.

[Jake Zamanski]

I'll tell you what, I hate it even more. And this took me a lot of years to get over the resentment when you see another family's mom be extra nice to you because she's sad about something that's happening in your house.

[Dan Soder]

Dude, you are preaching to the choir.

[Jake Zamanski]

I hate this. It's. Well, you know, you could. You know, you could always call me and they go like this also. You know, you could also bring this to school and you're going like this.

[Dan Soder]

Can I tell you, and this is something I think you'll very rare. Anyone who would identify with this, when you have to keep the other adult being nice from you, from your mom, because you don't want your mom.

[Jake Zamanski]

I say that now. My mom would kill. So there was a moment, and we did.

[Dan Soder]

Trish, I know you're watching, but it's true. Be cool.

[Jake Zamanski]

Be cool. Thank you for raising me.

[Dan Soder]

Thank you. I love you. I love you. You gave me such a great life. Thank you so much. It was crazy.

[Jake Zamanski]

I'm in a happy relationship.

[Dan Soder]

You're the reason I'm a decent human being. But it is. When someone was sad for you about something your shitty parent did, you tried to keep the good parent.

[Jake Zamanski]

Because it was always. I would say some would be like, are you sad your dad's not here? And I go, no, my mom's both.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, dude.

[Jake Zamanski]

And the one there's literally, I went to a great public school in a really nice neighborhood. I did not have that childhood in, like, a bad neighborhood.

[Dan Soder]

So I grew up in the suburbs and I went to a great high school.

[Jake Zamanski]

Safe as it gets. Whatever.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. It was not. My life was never in danger.

[Jake Zamanski]

Same with me. Not bad. Everything was fine.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

Literally one day, I think there was a scheduling thing and we forgot a lunch.

[Dan Soder]

Okay.

[Jake Zamanski]

I was always chubby.

[Dan Soder]

Okay.

[Jake Zamanski]

I was not a hungry kid.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, you go. I know when a meal was Missed.

[Jake Zamanski]

Yeah, for sure. Had like double McDonald's after and everyone felt bad. But there was a day the meals

[Dan Soder]

you got when people were sad for you. Oh, I lived off.

[Jake Zamanski]

I still do. I still do this with the wife where she's like, how you doing from New York? I'm like, just so tired.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, dude. That's what I do, dude. I'm not joking. I'm going to Stanford, Connecticut this weekend. I'm going to call her and be like, I just miss you and the dog. I'm going to eat Burger King.

[Jake Zamanski]

So gross.

[Dan Soder]

I love it. I love sloppy food.

[Jake Zamanski]

It's the best. Junk food's my biggest thing.

[Dan Soder]

It same.

[Jake Zamanski]

Yeah, but so we she free one meal. All of a sudden this group of moms do this thing and back then it was pre email where they said like, why don't we do like a meal train and we will bring lunches so that your mom can just worry about what's going on with your sister. We know what's happening with your dad.

[Dan Soder]

Okay.

[Jake Zamanski]

When my mom found out the amount of trouble we were in, that's what it is.

[Dan Soder]

Because in. And honestly, now that you're a parent and you're older and you're in your, you know, in your 40s. I'm in my 40s. You can kind of see it. You go, their anger wasn't that you did something wrong. It was sure embarrassment and like.

[Jake Zamanski]

And also like, you don't have it bad.

[Dan Soder]

Yes.

[Jake Zamanski]

So what we were talking about our dogs.

[Dan Soder]

Yes.

[Jake Zamanski]

But it's that. So then what my mom would then do is go over the top. She was like, just so we never mess a meal in this house. We had a basement fridge that we had to make nine months worth. We'd be. My brother and I are sitting there making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches like workers in a factory. And then every morning you get. And she'll go, oh, did you grab your lunch so that misses Blah blah blah. And she'll go, because are you not eating enough? And I'd be like, I didn't.

[Dan Soder]

I didn't say I didn't rat on you, Trish. I like my lunches. I didn't rat.

[Jake Zamanski]

Now I gotta eat turkey and eat this manifest frozen ice chips when he

[Dan Soder]

comes back when you're 17. Because I'm not going to lie. My dad died when I was 14. And when I was.

[Jake Zamanski]

Died at 14?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, when I was 14. He died when I was 13. I had real heat for him.

[Jake Zamanski]

Oh, I had real heat.

[Dan Soder]

I had real.

[Jake Zamanski]

So you my biggest fantasy Was the. My biggest life injustice was my. You know, before you go to bed, you masturbate or you do something to like calm your brain down and self soothing. You're like, let me go back to this pleasure seeking missile. Right. And then you relax and pass out.

[Dan Soder]

Out. Great.

[Jake Zamanski]

Mine was going to my dad's condo and beating him up. And I would imagine the door dragging his ass into the bathroom.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. It's like a Penthouse letter where the better the description, the hornier you get. But it was. It was ooh. As I kicked open the single lock. But it was soothing. Yeah. And it was so you really wanted to him up.

[Jake Zamanski]

So what happened was we would have times when my mom would get too much and she would, you know, say, I. I can't keep doing this. It's time to go to your dad's. And we would drive to his house. We'd be begging her. No. We'd get to his house, he would come out in his box, say, no.

[Dan Soder]

No way.

[Jake Zamanski]

Yes.

[Dan Soder]

He would deny.

[Jake Zamanski]

He say no. So get him the out. No, it would be more like Eve would know this, you know, and he wasn't sober. So then we'd have to get back in the car. My mom would have to do the. I say, we're going to just make this work with us and we got to start doing some chores. And I'm like, did you say something I love? And that's a schedule. Cuz if it's about dishes, these hands are made for cleaning responsibilities, please. You know, actually, everything you're saying that you like in a day is what I like in a day.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. That watching them go, like it. We'll do it is. You're like, that's a very specific experience to have with a single mom.

[Jake Zamanski]

Yes.

[Dan Soder]

Where they go like and.

[Jake Zamanski]

But you also.

[Dan Soder]

All right, we'll do it. And then you go like, you're either on board. Which I was on board.

[Jake Zamanski]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Whenever some terrible would happen to us, my mom would always go, go, we'll get through this.

[Jake Zamanski]

Always.

[Dan Soder]

And you're like, hell, yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

My mom has always been my rock.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

My mom has. I. I jokingly tease her the most now. I'm now like using her voice notes on appearances on talk shows. My mom is a character. I love her. If my mom didn't raise me, there could have been a really bad ending. When I see like a wild person under a bridge, I don't go, that alien is other than me.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

I go, thank you, Eve.

[Dan Soder]

J. Yeah, dude, for real. I. I don't think that Gets enough credit. Because, like, there really is a thing of, like, how feral I would have been.

[Jake Zamanski]

That's.

[Dan Soder]

I. If I did not have a mom that was like, hey, don't do that. Don't do that.

[Jake Zamanski]

You're not allowed to do that. And when I would start up, would be like, my mom was tough.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

And it was. Now it's you and me. And I'd be like, I am afraid of you physically.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, I was afraid. In fact, I have a joke right now. Or it's in my special. John Filmed it where I say I watch her get older. And I go, God, I can't believe I was afraid of you. Because I was so scared of her.

[Jake Zamanski]

So scared.

[Dan Soder]

The anxiety I would have when the garage door would open, when she would come home from work.

[Jake Zamanski]

When Eve.

[Dan Soder]

Because I was a bad kid, too. Or I was bad at school.

[Jake Zamanski]

I was so bad at school.

[Dan Soder]

So I'd be like, I never was. Like, I can't wait to show you this. A. She was coming home. And I was like, I got in big trouble today because I was.

[Jake Zamanski]

When I.

[Dan Soder]

Hilarious.

[Jake Zamanski]

When I knew trouble was coming and

[Dan Soder]

I was giving me a feeling right. Now you're even saying that.

[Jake Zamanski]

And I would hear it would always be something would happen. It was really report cards and teacher conferences.

[Dan Soder]

Yep. Where calls to home.

[Jake Zamanski]

Calls to home. And I would hear the stomping. And I'd be like, big mama, Eve is mad.

[Dan Soder]

I'm in big, big trouble.

[Jake Zamanski]

And you would know trouble's coming.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. I. What's interesting about. Because is your relationship with your mom now great?

[Jake Zamanski]

Yes.

[Dan Soder]

And she's like, probably an awesome grandma.

[Jake Zamanski]

She is. So what happened with my mom. What's really funny is it's currently happening. So when. So my dad sobering up a lot up. Meaning really. So he came back and was Mr. I do AA. I've changed. And my brother and sister were more evolved. And they forgave them.

[Dan Soder]

Them because they're in their. At that point. They're in their 20s.

[Jake Zamanski]

They're just a little bit older. We're more like. He seems different. And I would not forgive him. I would only.

[Dan Soder]

You're the baby.

[Jake Zamanski]

When he would want to take amends, like, make amends. I would meet him in bars. I would smoke his cigarettes and drink Stoli on ice. And I'd be like, dude, he did. Like, I'm smoking marriage, dude.

[Dan Soder]

Look at me.

[Jake Zamanski]

You. But also, like, I know you're gonna slip up. Up. You're not. It's the dumb thing about I'm not a Mark.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

You've seen the intervention.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

Where it's the. Rocky. The boxing coach and his two sons.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

I don't know if I've seen that episode where the. He goes like,

[Dan Soder]

no, but I gotta look it up.

[Jake Zamanski]

It's the best one.

[Dan Soder]

Okay. Big Jay and I used to watch a lot of intervention together.

[Jake Zamanski]

I mean, I've seen every episode.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, I gotta watch that one. Rob, the boxing coach.

[Jake Zamanski]

No, the boxer.

[Dan Soder]

Okay. The boxer.

[Jake Zamanski]

He's got sons. He stops seeing them. But Dad's kind of like, I don't give a. I'm trying. My bad. You.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

And then this son goes like, I hate you. Whatever. In the. Dad's like, I hate you, too. And then this, you know, it's one of the. You're like, this isn't gonna be a happy ending.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

They're both getting too gnarly. And then the son goes, but somewhere deep down in me, I must love you. Cause I'm here. And the dad goes, I have seen that. I have seen that.

[Dan Soder]

I've seen it in a.

[Jake Zamanski]

Was like, you know, it for me. It was with me and my dad was, hate you. I hate you. You know? And then deep down, it was because I really loved him. Absolutely. And once I. The only reason. And also, I like. The problem is what? I liked him, dude. I thought he was cool. It was fun to be with him. We liked sports the same way. We sat the same way. He was a true chubby, like me. Where he would go. He'd sit down and he would go, you know, we're getting cheeseburgers, eight Diet Cokes. And I'd go, why you go, four each. And I was like, I grew up with a woman who said, diet Coke gives you cancer.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

You never get more than one soda.

[Dan Soder]

He goes, we're gonna get four. I drink them so fast.

[Jake Zamanski]

You drink them fast. He was an addict. So he would go, look at what I got in the freezer. It'd be 12 ice cream bars. He'll go, start eating, honey, because you're gonna be gone tonight. That means we're each eating six.

[Dan Soder]

I loved it. I would have loved for Gary to have gotten to a sweet tooth thing because was. He was a. He could cook. So that would have meant he would have been firing up. That was always the bummer, because. So, I mean, I guess I have a lot of questions because I never got to see that turnaround. At what point did you believe that he wasn't going back to the booze?

[Jake Zamanski]

Years.

[Dan Soder]

Years.

[Jake Zamanski]

I mean, he got somewhere in 17, probably when I was about 35.

[Dan Soder]

Damn. So about 18 years it took to go, like, walk the walk then.

[Jake Zamanski]

What? No, it was. We were friendlier, but it would be fake. He would. He would always show up. He would always call. But then I started getting on tv and I'm like, easy to like me now.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

And I'd be like, easy to call now, but it would still be like. But he didn't. He was richer than me. He didn't need anything from me.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Jake Zamanski]

So I would just be like, yeah, whatever. And then over time. Over time, I just had to go like, oh, this is the real you. And you were sick. So my brother and I have an unfortunate take that I'm sure people are going to dislike, but we've always had a really hard thing with calling addiction a disease.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

Because cancer's a disease. Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Norm. Norm MacDonald has the phenomenal bit about. He's like, what are. What a disease to get. He's like, what a fun disease to have. So I'm out boozing.

[Jake Zamanski]

So my dad's disease took him from raising three kids. One of them had a leg shorter than the other, was in and out of the hospital, and the mom had a pretty bad attitude and took him to every prostitute in Chicago. The best cocaine in Chicago. Friends with the Chicago Bulls during the. The Jordan era.

[Dan Soder]

Sick.

[Jake Zamanski]

Knew Michael Jordan sick. Because he was a dealer. He had his. A car dealer on the south side. He had a cocaine dealer on staff.

[Dan Soder]

I love that. I love old fucking 90s car dealers.

[Jake Zamanski]

And he. That was his legit. Like. Like, literally would get. There'd be like a big thing where he would go, like another prostitution ring at Gibson Steakhouse. He was in all of this stuff.

[Dan Soder]

Jesus.

[Jake Zamanski]

That. Then when I was in high school, my aunt came and moved in with us who was dying of cancer.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Jake Zamanski]

And I was like, just two people with diseases.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. Same as my dad. Oh, yours is my dad. Do you do radiation for alcoholism?

[Jake Zamanski]

Your disease is killing you. His is, too. But it's different. Different.

[Dan Soder]

Well, I think what the. What it is is. I think they use the word disease, and I know people that do believe that, but I think what it is is because it's a condition.

[Jake Zamanski]

Yeah. And it is a condition because the

[Dan Soder]

way you like fast food, I agree, is very similar to it. And, dude, the way I get into and the way I, like, I get addicted to everything, and I go like, oh, I had it. Now I want a thousand of them.

[Jake Zamanski]

But also not only just food, ideas, projects, anything. Anything.

[Dan Soder]

You can see why People, you know, I think addictions aren't. It's, it's like, you know, I don't think this is like a popular take, but I think it's true is I would rather have a substance addiction than sex, food or money or gambling. Tell me why, Because I know, I just. It's like having a food allergy. Yeah, yeah, just a food allergy. I can't have alcohol.

[Jake Zamanski]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

If I ate. I'm allergic to scallops. If I eat scallops, I'll puke and everywhere. I'll never eat scallops.

[Jake Zamanski]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

I don't hate scallops. I don't know. I have a disease that stops me from eating scallops. But I go, I have a condition where I can't eat scallops.

[Jake Zamanski]

So I'm just not allowed to. So my buddy who got into the program, we were having big talks about this and I was being really cunty about my dad then being like, well, yeah. And then finally he goes, so take away the word disease and view it like, just call it an allergy. And I went, by the way, all my little bitchiness for no reason. I think it's so wonderful you're in the program and so is everybody. You have an allergy and that allergy makes you lose control. When you have a sip and you drink too much, you fuck your life up. I think that's so great for you and I think it's so great for my dad.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

And I went like, oh, I'm just being a bit. Literally, I'm just a childhood anger about nothing. And it's just a word. But the truth is my dad then did sober up, was always consistent.

[Dan Soder]

Great.

[Jake Zamanski]

Kept showing up, great. And then as I got older in life, I would lean on him and I would find times that I would realize I'm doing something weird over and over and I'm not seeing it.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Jake Zamanski]

And he would go, well, have you ever considered this, honey?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

And I would go, no, but that's really. And I was like. And so I don't. I feel like this would kind of hurt me in reverse. And I don't mean to because I like you, but I do feel like I got what a dad is supposed to be. It was, later, dude brother, if you

[Dan Soder]

can get in at any moment. But I, I don't give a about that. Because I think what's interesting about that, especially, especially for people that have lost parents, is if you understand where your parent size hole is, right. You will understand fixing it. You will understand also what bumps up against it.

[Jake Zamanski]

Yes.

[Dan Soder]

If you have a cut on your ribs.

[Jake Zamanski]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

And people keep touching your ribs, you go, don't do that. Don't do that. But they don't necessarily see the guy.

[Jake Zamanski]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Or the surgery.

[Jake Zamanski]

You're just reactive.

[Dan Soder]

You're reactive.

[Jake Zamanski]

So what I saw later in life is what a dad is supposed to do now.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Jake Zamanski]

I was too old, so I couldn't be like, thank you, Daddy.

[Dan Soder]

It's like getting a hundred dollars of Toys R us cash at 40. Where you go, I can. I could do this myself. But you also go, you know what it's actually.

[Jake Zamanski]

You know what it's actually like in terms of the Toys R Us? It's like having a credit card.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

And now you go, I can buy whatever the I want.

[Dan Soder]

Yes.

[Jake Zamanski]

And you go, this was always the dream. And you go, I'm not gonna buy anything. But I now get what that means.

[Dan Soder]

When I am. And I'm. And I'm serious about this, when I'm on the road and I stop at a Walmart or a Target to get something, what I will always do is walk through the toy section to go, I could buy this whole thing right now, and I don't want it. I just walk through it. I go, I could buy every toy right here. Because when I was little, you wanted him. So my mom and I, you know, my mom did all right. But money wasn't. We didn't have a lot of money. Money was always on her mind.

[Jake Zamanski]

Yeah, it was. It was always a conversation.

[Dan Soder]

It was. I had to wear clothes from Target until I was in high school and I had a job and I came could. And then she would let me get a couple good pieces of clothes. But it was always, like, we weren't tight on money, but we weren't rich. But I remember always going to Target and being like, damn, I want this. And she'd be like, no, you don't have any money. And you're like, one day I'll have money. And then now when I do and I walk by, I go, I'll buy all these GI Joes. My question about getting a dad later in life and having kids, is there any resentment towards, like, what's the relationship of your dad when. With your kids?

[Jake Zamanski]

Well, he's dead now.

[Dan Soder]

Okay. When did he. Was he. Was he alive when they were alive?

[Jake Zamanski]

Yeah. But he was not involved.

[Dan Soder]

Okay.

[Jake Zamanski]

Not in a dramatic way.

[Dan Soder]

Okay.

[Jake Zamanski]

So I saw this great Instagram clip that, like, broke me down.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Jake Zamanski]

And it was an old man clowning around for his grandkids and then jumped in a pool.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

And it said when grandparents love being a grandparent, it means they miss being a parent.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Jake Zamanski]

And when they don't, it means they never really were meant to be a parent.

[Dan Soder]

Parent. And completely agree.

[Jake Zamanski]

That's interesting.

[Dan Soder]

I completely agree. And that's like the old saying of like, if you don't raise your kids, your parents have to raise your kids. And if you do raise your kids, your grandparents, your. Your parents get to spoil your kids.

[Jake Zamanski]

That's exactly right.

[Dan Soder]

And that's what it is. It's like if you don't raise. No, I'm saying this wrong. They say if you don't raise your kids, you're going to end up raising your grandkids. And if you raise your kids, you're going to be able to spoil your brain.

[Jake Zamanski]

But it's the same because it makes sense. Because you go, yes. It's just putting the emphasis on the parents.

[Dan Soder]

Exactly.

[Jake Zamanski]

But you're like, I think that's totally right. So my dad. But my dad wasn't a bad guy. He just didn't.

[Dan Soder]

Shouldn't probably have.

[Jake Zamanski]

He just wasn't. But here's what.

[Dan Soder]

He probably didn't want to be a parent.

[Jake Zamanski]

But he did. But it was just in the old world.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Jake Zamanski]

Here's what he wanted. He wanted to go to work, essentially have his women he was having an affair with party and then had the kind of woman that just put up with it because he was bringing home money.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. He wanted a guma.

[Jake Zamanski]

Or he just married the wrong person. And a lot of those guys made a whole life work.

[Dan Soder]

Work. Did your mom get remarried?

[Jake Zamanski]

Never. Never even dated. How about never even dated?

[Dan Soder]

My mom dated.

[Jake Zamanski]

Oh, she did? So there were guys around.

[Dan Soder]

I got bits.

[Jake Zamanski]

For days.

[Dan Soder]

I got bits.

[Jake Zamanski]

But how many siblings you got?

[Dan Soder]

None. I was an only child between my mom and my dad. But my dad had a daughter with another woman.

[Jake Zamanski]

You were locked in with Trish?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, we were.

[Jake Zamanski]

You were a team.

[Dan Soder]

She. When we go back to Denver for Christmas, we. We've been together for seven years, engaged for three. And she will go back and go, like, when we leave Colorado, she always goes, you guys, this relationship astounds me. And I go, what do you mean? She's like, you guys are in a two man band. You're just like so great. You're like the White Stripes. You're just like playing. You're just like, it's just you two. And it really is like, there's like this.

[Jake Zamanski]

It's magic.

[Dan Soder]

There is this Familiarity. There's this short shorthand. There's this like, understanding. And also there's a quick to get annoyed, quick to get angry.

[Jake Zamanski]

Here's a positive. And this is what I'm. Because my. I moved my mom to LA three weeks ago or a month ago. And I.

[Dan Soder]

From Illinois, from Chicago.

[Jake Zamanski]

And I'm sure you have this too. My mom, no matter how much I annoyed her, was always my biggest fan. And we were the only people I can ever relate to when they talk about moms is right. Rappers.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

So whenever a rapper talks about their

[Dan Soder]

mom or a number one draft pick.

[Jake Zamanski]

Or a number one draft pick. But when someone's talking about what this means to them. Well, not anymore. Now. Number of draft picks, all their dad's trained them.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. I know the first NBA guys I watched in the 90s.

[Jake Zamanski]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Ron Harper's kids going to the MBA.

[Jake Zamanski]

And he did a great job as a dad.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

The NBA draft for me was, well, this is what goes to show when you have a generation of men who break the cycle.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

All these dads were like. Like I was around my kids and then like, all the kids are like, we love our dad and our mom so much.

[Dan Soder]

I love you both. I love both of my parents equally.

[Jake Zamanski]

This feels like a wonderful family.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. But it was.

[Jake Zamanski]

It was different.

[Dan Soder]

But I know what you're saying when you talk to rappers or people where you go, like, but we have a.

[Jake Zamanski]

My mom and I, I felt like we had an unspoken deal.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

And that deal was, we're gonna make this work together.

[Dan Soder]

Yep.

[Jake Zamanski]

And it's gonna figure it out and we're gonna be okay. And we are in this dance forever. And what's nice is, is a lot of years when my dad came back, my mom kind of did the. Oh, well, I fucking lost again. Then go.

[Dan Soder]

All of a sudden I'm second fiddle.

[Jake Zamanski]

And. But my mom is so old that it wasn't even that tough. I'm not guiltying you for you to take me back. Fuck you then.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

Then do what you got to do. And I'm like, I had again. I haven't made a decision. It feels like a boss going, all right, I'm looking to hire somebody. We have an interview at 1 and 2. You're leaving?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

And you go like this. You got an interview at 1 and you go, yeah, but it's probably gonna. Then you button.

[Dan Soder]

You go, okay, yeah, fine.

[Jake Zamanski]

I was for sure gonna hire you, but it's weird.

[Dan Soder]

You're up in my. That I'm interviewing.

[Jake Zamanski]

So Mad at me. What I'm doing is normal here.

[Dan Soder]

You know what's very interesting about that is the idea of when you're raised in a situation where the mom is overburdened by the responsibility.

[Jake Zamanski]

Yes.

[Dan Soder]

It's. You grow up with her kind of full court pressing you the whole time, because she has to.

[Jake Zamanski]

Yes.

[Dan Soder]

So there was a moment in my late. I think it was when I. After I quit drinking, where I had, like, a long conversation where I was like, I love you. You're always going to be one of the most important people in my life. Back the up.

[Jake Zamanski]

You did.

[Dan Soder]

I was like, you gotta back the up, because I need my room for my own life. And interesting. She was very receptive to it.

[Jake Zamanski]

Cool.

[Dan Soder]

Very positive about it.

[Jake Zamanski]

Saved the relationship.

[Dan Soder]

And. And I say that all the time. That moment, that conversation, to where now I can go, hey, you're hitting the barrier. And she goes, all right. And you're like, great.

[Jake Zamanski]

But that's a woman that wants a relationship with her son.

[Dan Soder]

And she's also a fan. She was a fantastic mom. She was a fantastic mom. And that feeling of, you know, acting very similarly to stand up is just this, like, you might as well tell your mom you're going into space to be a. A space ranger.

[Jake Zamanski]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

And there's. Then there could be treasure out there.

[Jake Zamanski]

Yes.

[Dan Soder]

But I don't know. I'm a space pirate now. But it could work. And if your mom goes like, just remember to tie your ship up. You go, all right. Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

Yeah, that's exactly right.

[Dan Soder]

My mom was very like, hey, can you please get your college degree? It's the only thing I ask. It's the only thing I ask is as your mom. And I was like, it. I'm gonna. But I did stand up while I was in college, and then I got the degree, and I was like, I'm gonna go to New York and do stand up. And my mom was like, fuck, yeah. Good luck.

[Jake Zamanski]

That's how Mama was.

[Dan Soder]

And it was. And by the way, she didn't have any money to give me. She didn't have anything. But she knows, like.

[Jake Zamanski]

But it was always encouraging.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

It was also. The other thing is that for me, the reason. The only. The thing that I still. And I'm sure it's the same with standard, but what I love about acting and the question I always get that I find so boring, will they be like, it's a similar character of a guy down on his look stuck. And then I'm like, well, that's just because I like that arc.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

I don't give a fuck about the arc. I don't care about the character's job. I'm just in it for the tone and the tone management.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

Because that's the itch, and that's the addiction. It would. I would be at home, and the vibe would start getting tense.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Jake Zamanski]

And if it gets tense, things could go sideways, which is. And I like the situation right now with this woman, my siblings here.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Jake Zamanski]

So what if I tried to take the tone that is clearly going sideways.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

And if I could find. Not in my sense of humor, but in the rhythm of right now with this dialogue, how do I get that woman to think this is funny?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

And when you find that. And my brother and I. That's when we became real comedy partners.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

He would always. Because he was always smarter than me.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Jake Zamanski]

So he. We would start. And we talked about as we were older, we would start making eye contact and communicating. And what he would do is he would start basically setting up premises.

[Dan Soder]

Great.

[Jake Zamanski]

So my mom would like. And the mess. And I'm doing it on my own. And he'd be like. And I agree. And she'd be like, you're saying that green. And you go like. And he'd be like. And what we got to do is we have to come with a schedule. And look at me. And I'd be like, oh, schedule. No one would laugh. And I'd be like. And she'd be like, it's not a time to be like. That was a mess. I went. I went. Absurd. And it wasn't. And you keep going. But when you land it. She laughs. And then when the dust settles, either me or my brother would go, I think you're right. It is messy. If you give us a couple days, knowing if you get past this 20 minutes.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

Then we're gonna go back to off.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

But we just gotta get past this 20.

[Dan Soder]

That's what it is. You're. You have turbulence. Get through the turbulence.

[Jake Zamanski]

Once you're in the turbulence, we both know we're taking our belts off and having another drink.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

But right now, you're scared. We're all scared.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. That's what it. That really is. I used to have a lot.

[Jake Zamanski]

That, to me, is still the job.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. My. My thing was because I was. The power dynamic was single mom and child, and she had a boyfriend who she's trying to impress.

[Jake Zamanski]

That's scary.

[Dan Soder]

But I don't give a. About this dude.

[Jake Zamanski]

Oh, so you could.

[Dan Soder]

Funny. So I. I don't care about what this guy thinks of me. I'm just trying to be funny, honestly.

[Jake Zamanski]

And not physically afraid of him ever.

[Dan Soder]

No, not really.

[Jake Zamanski]

That's cool.

[Dan Soder]

I think there never really was a time she wasn't anyone around that was, like, violent or anything.

[Jake Zamanski]

It's just a dude.

[Dan Soder]

It was just a dude. And I was like, well, watch. Watch me be funny in a way that almost will offend my mom, but if I can make this guy laugh.

[Jake Zamanski]

Interesting.

[Dan Soder]

And it was, like, kind of fun to, like, be like, I'm actually a good time. And then what really interesting, really kicked it into overdrive was high school with my friends. And they would be over, and I would have my friend, like, Danny would be there, and I would, like, make a joke at her, but knowing it would land with him, and then he would be laughing. And she's. She's not going to get mad at him.

[Jake Zamanski]

No. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dan Soder]

She's going to go, danny. And he's going to go, I'm sorry. That's just so funny. And then there's moments where she'll be like, all right, it is funny.

[Jake Zamanski]

I agree. And then it's fun. So we had a thing, my brother and I, with my dad. And I've told this before, but we've never talked about it. But the way I actually got close with my dad was because he partied so hard for so long. It pickles your brain.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

And anybody who claims it doesn't like

[Dan Soder]

it's CTE of partying, it's.

[Jake Zamanski]

It really. And there's a moment where you're still there. And look, I loved him. By the end, we were truly. He was in my top five of best friends. Not as a bit, sure. But we could do a game that we used to do, and that is the three of us would be sitting in a room, and he and I could. My brother and I could text each other words. And the goal was. My dad's nickname was Croco, as in Crocus.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

And he's the only impression I do. But my impression of him is good.

[Dan Soder]

I was the only reason that people

[Jake Zamanski]

go, you doing Columbo? It's actually my dad.

[Dan Soder]

That's fantastic.

[Jake Zamanski]

And it's.

[Dan Soder]

He really.

[Jake Zamanski]

It was Shin Shang, and it was a thing.

[Dan Soder]

It was this. And let me take the broad shake.

[Jake Zamanski]

And so what we would do, we'd be sitting there and my brother would text me, pink monkeys.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

And I'll text back, like, too hard. And he'd be like, you can. And I would go, hey, Croc, I'd be watching a Cubs game. He'd go, yeah. And I go, you take a bunch of red and a bunch of white, you mush it together, what do you get? He'll go, a mess. Another colors. You put them together. He'll go, I slap jam. He's trying to be favorite. So I go, no, dad, what the cut. And he goes, oh, that color makes pink. You go, yeah. And then you go, let's play a crazy ass game. You go, what do we.

[Dan Soder]

Everything you do is crazy.

[Jake Zamanski]

You know what animal makes this sound?

[Dan Soder]

I'll.

[Jake Zamanski]

A monkey. My brother's dying laughing.

[Dan Soder]

My dad thinks he's laughing because he did the.

[Jake Zamanski]

I'm doing the monkey. I'm doing the pink. And he's getting that jumpy energy. I go, put the words together. He goes, go pink. No. And you go, pink monkey. And my brother would go, that's so fun. The three of us would die laughing. That's what I know.

[Dan Soder]

That's what I wanted. That's what I wanted in a sibling was a partner in crime comedically because I finally got it with her. When we go home, my mom will say and I can like look at Katie and be like, it's so crazy. And then it's like I tell her on the drive back, always, I'm like, I'm so glad I have you, cuz it's so much better having someone.

[Jake Zamanski]

It's a relief.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

And it doesn't what I learned for a while. Cuz then I was like, I know I'm mean and I know I take my comedy too far. But I was like, I actually. My heart of hearts. I don't think it's against these people.

[Dan Soder]

No. This.

[Jake Zamanski]

I'm just. It's literally. It feels good. And then I would realize it's not. It's not for others. Like I can still.

[Dan Soder]

That's the best comedy.

[Jake Zamanski]

It's. It's just for us.

[Dan Soder]

What?

[Jake Zamanski]

And I'm like, that's where. But. But if you go back to our game, what I'm. What I've got to at this point in my life is that's acting. Now I'm truly. I'm doing a presto right now for the dink July 24th.

[Dan Soder]

Check it out on Apple TV.

[Jake Zamanski]

Thank you so much. But the reality of it is I love the movie. I'm doing the game because when those moments are happening, it's fucking joyful.

[Dan Soder]

So when you're doing the dink and it's like, you know, you're playing like a tennis player. That, that now Goes into the world of pickleball. Yeah. What do you do? You practice tennis?

[Jake Zamanski]

I had to, so.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, because you had to have a good swing.

[Jake Zamanski]

So what happened on this one, which was different, is Sean. Roger Clemens with a T. Clements. Clemens. How would you say.

[Dan Soder]

Not the rocker.

[Jake Zamanski]

How would you say Roger Clemens with a T. Clemens with a T. Clement.

[Dan Soder]

Clementons.

[Jake Zamanski]

Sean. This is what happens to me. So Sean is my actual friend for 15 years. He hosts a Hollywood handbook. He's one of the best comedy writers. And like, yeah, he's so funny.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

I refer to his name as Sean Clements. C L E M E N T E. Clements.

[Dan Soder]

Clements.

[Jake Zamanski]

Clements. I was on a podcast. He goes, what you're saying is really nice. You're saying my name wrong. You. It's Clemens with a T. It made it so much worse.

[Dan Soder]

Don't do that, because now Clemens with the T is how I'm gonna say it every time. That was formally. If I introduce you guys, he's Clemens

[Jake Zamanski]

with the T. This is Sean Clemens

[Dan Soder]

with the T. With it.

[Jake Zamanski]

Like, Roger Clemens with it.

[Dan Soder]

It's like the rocket with the T. Roger Clement.

[Jake Zamanski]

He and I went out and got lunch, and it was pre presidential election.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Jake Zamanski]

And he goes, what are you looking to do? And I was saying, we're just talking about where we're at in the game. And I said, honestly, man, I want to make something light with a lot of set pieces. I go, what I like about sitcoms is sometimes you'd get to set and the premise is funny.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

And you go, oh, the crew's laughing while we're reading the scene. Because the premise is just a classic premise.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Jake Zamanski]

And you go, it's just funny. Now we're going to improvise and add stuff and add some heat to it.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

But lately, in the last few years, when I've gotten more into, like, the drama comedy. Right. You're like, sure. There's. There's not. Like we're gonna find something.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

But it's not clean.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. You're not coming in, going, the setup is making people laugh.

[Jake Zamanski]

I'm good. We are going to be in a spot where we're winning from the start.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Jake Zamanski]

And I go. And I haven't had that. And I think those are going away at my level. Jumanji still happening.

[Dan Soder]

Sure. Or.

[Jake Zamanski]

But they're spending whatever kind. I was like, how about a small budget indie that they're set pieces and every scene has a comedic presence with all funny people.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

And we're just going after bits and then there's emotional heart in the middle. And he goes, so what do you. He goes, I got a movie I'm working on that Ben Stiller might be interested in producing.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Jake Zamanski]

I'm obviously a fan.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

And I go, what's it about? He goes, pickleball. What do you know about it? I said, no, nothing. I don't care about it. He goes, what do you think about tennis? I go, I don't care about it. And he's like, well, he then told me the premise. I'll give a spoiler, but it doesn't matter. But he said it's based in real life. He used to play tennis. He got hurt his back. He wanted to get back to tennis. So he started playing pickleball. To get back to tennis. He went to a court in Beverly Hills where there was these older women, like 75 year old Asian ladies, and they asked him to play. And he was really embarrassed because he used to play, I think in college or high school. He was good.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

And he was like, it's okay. And one of the ladies he could tell was getting pissed off and was like, please play. And he was like, no, I'm just. And he's like, play. And they killed him.

[Dan Soder]

Really?

[Jake Zamanski]

Because part of the game when you first start, it's just all angles.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

So if you know where to hit the ball, you're just not gonna kick. It's a wiffle ball.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Jake Zamanski]

So he then got beat. And then these old women who've never been able to do it started talking shit.

[Dan Soder]

Great.

[Jake Zamanski]

And then afterwards they said, play with us again. And then he started going and getting coffee with him. But then he started getting embarrassed because he got caught up in their lives and he was becoming friends with it.

[Dan Soder]

That's fantastic.

[Jake Zamanski]

And he was telling me, I was like, all of this, I love. And then he goes, then I want to invent you. And one of them start having an almost. Will they, won't they? And I was like, really fun. And then I'll give something away because this is what sold me. And he goes, but then you decide the age I'm in. Yeah, I'm not scared no more. Right. And I was like, yeah. And he goes, she's awesome. She's hot. We have Mary Steenbergen. Mary Steenbergen is hot.

[Dan Soder]

One of the best. And it's like, you don't land Tim dancing with that.

[Jake Zamanski]

Yeah, agreed.

[Dan Soder]

She's without being.

[Jake Zamanski]

She's a smoke show.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

And it's. And Sean and I were both laughing. Then he goes, so then you like, make the move. And she goes like, no. And I go, why she say no? And he goes, you go, if it's about the age thing, I'll screw. I'm. You're 30 years older than me. Who cares? And then she goes, I'm not sexually interested in you. That's. And I went, sean, I love this movie.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. You go, please let me.

[Jake Zamanski]

I was like, okay. And then we started. We put it together. It was really indie. We didn't.

[Dan Soder]

That's very fun. And also, that's where comedies live now.

[Jake Zamanski]

Yes.

[Dan Soder]

Comedies aren't gonna be able. Because, you know, everything you're describing right now makes me think of that period with, like role models 100, all that, where it was just a good setup

[Jake Zamanski]

and that type of movie.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

Which was the movies I watched going, oh, those are what I want to do.

[Dan Soder]

Sure.

[Jake Zamanski]

Somehow just disappeared.

[Dan Soder]

Super Bad had all these movies that just go, oh, a high school party. They need to get booze. That's the movie.

[Jake Zamanski]

How about forgetting Sarah Marshall?

[Dan Soder]

Unbelievable. A guy gets cheated on and he writes jingle. He writes the music.

[Jake Zamanski]

Everybody who just comes in are comedic killers that they come in for two days.

[Dan Soder]

That's what it was. I mean, you know, and Apatow is great at that. With 40 year old virgin and get

[Jake Zamanski]

him to the Greek.

[Dan Soder]

All get him to the Greek. But he would be like, bring in Kevin Hart for Knocked Up.

[Jake Zamanski]

Just come in for a scene.

[Dan Soder]

Have that scene.

[Jake Zamanski]

And so we want. And part of that is you got to fucking shoot in LA or New York.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. Because you have to have people that

[Jake Zamanski]

are around willing to drive over.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

So Sean and I were like, let's put this together, keep the budget small. We got our other friend, Josh Green. Jake Zamanski was going to direct it.

[Dan Soder]

Sick.

[Jake Zamanski]

Unbelievably talented dude. He got. Had to go back to jury duty too.

[Dan Soder]

Great. I mean, that first season was unbelievable. I don't know how they're gonna do it.

[Jake Zamanski]

Yeah. The second season's funny.

[Dan Soder]

They casted someone that I love that I saw.

[Jake Zamanski]

Ian Roberts.

[Dan Soder]

Ian Roberts is great. There's someone else. What's her name? Lisa Gilroy.

[Jake Zamanski]

Oh, Lisa Gilroy.

[Dan Soder]

So she's like one of the funniest people out there right now. She was on something where you go, oh, hell yeah. But, yeah, go do jury duty.

[Jake Zamanski]

Go do your job. And then we got Josh Greenbaum, who's unbelievably talented. So he came in, we had a group of friends, we made it independently, raised money, and then Apple came out, and now it. We're pushing it like it's a studio comedy, but it's actually a little indie.

[Dan Soder]

I love that. And it's on Apple TV. July 24th. This is the most sincere plug I've ever done on a podcast. I think we've done. We've done a lot of episodes. Yeah. John will tell you this is the most sincere plug we've ever done on a podcast. Because I genuinely was like, yeah. And then check out the date on July 24th on Apple TV. And usually I gotta go. All right. You can see the link below. We just fucking walked into that. God damn. You have me driving off the lot. The Cadillac.

[Jake Zamanski]

No, a Chevy.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Jake Zamanski]

And I'm gonna put you in it. You know what? I'm gonna put you in. I'm gonna put you in a core second. I'm gonna tell you why. Because it feels sporty. Yeah, but you don't. You're not showy.

[Dan Soder]

Like, you know what? While we're here, why don't you get me a Tahoe for the lady, Let me get a red Tahoe, and I'm

[Jake Zamanski]

gonna give you a deal that's gonna

[Dan Soder]

blow your mind, dude. Jake. Jake Johnson. One of the best. One of the funniest people working. We're gonna just a dude that's had a, like a career where you're like, every time you pop up at something, you're like, this guy rules. So I'm so happy you were able to come through the podcast.

[Jake Zamanski]

Yeah, I'm a big fan.

[Dan Soder]

Dan the dink. July 24th. Apple TV. You rule. Thanks.

[Jake Zamanski]

You too, man. What a pleasure.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, thanks. That was fun as hell.

[Jake Zamanski]

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