Soder Podcast Ep 61: "A Series of Embarrassing Decisions" with Sarah Tollemache

Date: December 24, 2024
Host: Dan Soder
Guest: Sarah Tollemache

Overview

In this lively, irreverent conversation, stand-up comic Dan Soder welcomes fellow comedian Sarah Tollemache for her first official appearance on his podcast. The two friends riff about everything from the absurdities of biopics and rock star myths, to the realities of parenting, corporate jobs, and the wildest Hollywood scandals. Throughout, their comedy never shies away from taboo subjects, blending personal stories with biting social commentary in a playful, self-aware tone.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. How Villains and Heroes Find Each Other

[00:58–03:54]

• The episode opens with Soder and Tollemache marveling at how notorious criminals or icons find each other—just like geniuses do in art and music:
  • On the Columbine shooters:
    Dan (A): “How do they find each other like pedophiles find? Well, there’s a website you can go to.” [02:03]
  • They riff on the randomness of historic meetings, from Mick Jagger and Keith Richards forming the Stones to infamous pairings in crime.
• They also poke fun at failed bands with abusive origins:
  • Sarah (B): “I want to see that as a movie ... You still have to have a little bit of talent to beat the shit into.” [03:23]

2. Biopics & Cultural Nostalgia

[04:08–08:34]

• They bemoan the decline in quality of modern music biopics and the sameness of trailers:
  • Soder discusses hating the Motley Crue movie and calls for return of “in a world” style trailer voices.
  • Both mock the formulaic approach, as Sarah says:
    “Everything looks like a 30 Rock parody.” [05:27]
• On the “sameness” of reggae:
  • Sarah: “Doesn’t it all kind of sound very similar?” [08:47]
  • Dan (mocking): “Isolate that. Blackmail.” [08:47]

3. Restaurant Industry & Immigrant Work Ethic

[09:54–15:16]

• They swap war stories from restaurant work and the grind of kitchen staff:
  • Sarah: “I worked in a restaurant for 10 million years ... they pay attention to their paychecks.” [09:54]
  • Dan: Shares about Lasana, an African dishwasher, who worked multiple jobs and sent all his money home, highlighting immigrant sacrifices and skills unrecognized in kitchens: “He’s like, I put a lamb’s heart into a man, and he lives. He is the president of Ghana. And please pre-bus your plates.” [13:00]
• They joke about corporate and American exploitation vs. survival tactics.

4. Parenthood Unfiltered

[15:16–18:10]

• The challenges and humor in dealing with babies:
  • Dan: “You try sticking your dick in my butt—I’m thrashing.” (On being unassaultable while homeless) [15:07]
  • Sarah: “When I try to change my son’s diaper, I feel like I’m about to sexually assault him.” [15:16]
• The acceptance of bodily fluids in parenting, hilarious compared to adult kink discussions:
  • “No one ever talks about how quickly you become comfortable with it.” [16:22]

5. Beauty, Medical Tourism, and Social Media Pressures

[18:03–20:14]

• They riff on men traveling to Turkey for hair plugs and medical work, referencing TikTok trends:
  • Dan: “It’s cheaper to fly to Turkey ... they check you for cancer, everything, and it’s one day.” [19:04]
  • Sarah: “All men go there for hair plugs. On the plane, just a plane of male pattern baldness.” [18:19]
• The conversation blends pressure to look good with comic exaggeration of abusive baby hair pulling.

6. Culture, Upbringing, and Religion in Texas

[21:23–29:15]

• Sarah shares her background: raised in Houston by parents who emigrated from South Africa and England, with stories about feeling like an outsider in hyper-religious, conservative Texas:
  • “We weren’t religious in the town ... the suburbs are just Christian and white.” [25:52]
• They compare American and UK colonial narratives and make irreverent jokes about family history, religious rules, and the hypocrisy of founding fathers’ “dirty money”:
  • Dan: “The Rockefellers didn’t make their money from hugs.” [23:46]

7. Corporate Life and Comedy Careers

[34:46–38:09]

• Sarah describes temping and property management, and how setting boundaries rewarded her more than over-working:
  • “You do not need to be smart in life. You just need to show up and be somewhat pleasant.” [37:01]
• They laugh about the surprising parallels between office politics, stand-up, and dating—pointing out how “nice guys” and doormats lose out while true boundaries win respect.

8. The Comedy Climb: JFL, SNL, and Jealousy

[40:15–47:56]

• Candid stories from both trying to break into SNL and the Just for Laughs (JFL) festival:
  • Sarah: “They told me I got it in the final draft. And then never again have I ever been in the circle ... that was me and you.” [41:47]
  • Dan: “Never count your money. Never spend the lotto money before you win the lotto.” [43:28]
• Both discuss the emotional highs and lows, learning that many industry victories are arbitrary and the pitfalls of anticipation and professional envy:
  • “Have you ever, like, congratulated somebody and you just feel like the way you congratulate someone, you don’t mean it because you’re just riddled with your own jealousy?” [47:56]

9. Daddy Issues, Parental Substitutes & Security Blankets

[48:10–50:54]

• The comic neurosis about older male figures in showbiz:
  • Dan: “He (Louis CK) treats Joe like a son, and me like Joe’s friend he doesn’t like ... it has everything to do with my father.” [48:38]
  • Sarah: “Joe collects a lot of father figures, even when we’re on vacation.” [49:04]

10. Sex, Threesomes, and Social Satire

[51:16–54:20]

• Jokes about modern sex lives, threesomes, and porn access—especially the oddity of Texas having both megachurches and massive porn megaplexes:
  • “Every clown has to de-venom the second they get to a town.” [54:00]
  • Sarah: “How sad it was to put out the small mom and pop (porn shop). Just a family that cares about guys flinging.” [55:22]

11. Hollywood Scandals, QAnon, and Morality Gray Zones

[56:06–70:45]

• Fueled by current events, they run through Joel Osteen’s hypocrisy, the infamous Diddy sex scandal, and draw parallel to conspiracy theories:
  • “But isn’t it crazy, the more rich and famous they get, the less ‘no’s’ are around.” [64:05]
• They tease the extremity of current celebrity allegations, referencing QAnon with playful skepticism, and question if "conspiracies" are truly that far-fetched:
  • Dan: “Is QAnon wrong? That’s all I’m asking.” [70:02, 70:33]
  • Sarah: Jokes about bizarrely inappropriate Zara children’s shirts: “There’s a team, there’s a hundred people that this is going through.” [68:25]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Everything looks like a 30 Rock parody.”—Sarah Tollemache [05:27]
• “How do they find each other like pedophiles find? Well, there’s a website you can go to.”—Dan Soder [02:03]
• On restaurant work: “He’d be like, I am the first person to build a bridge in my town ... I need ramekins for crema.”—Dan Soder [13:00]
• “You do not need to be smart in life. You just need to show up and be somewhat pleasant and you will go far.”—Sarah Tollemache [37:01]
• “Nice guys finish last. It’s not nice guys—it’s doormats.”—Dan Soder [38:37]
• “Dream boards? Your vision board could suck a fat one. It’s definitely not working.”—Dan Soder [43:51]
• “How does the Spanish language maneuver this new day and age?”—Sarah Tollemache [43:01]
• “I feel like Joe collects a lot of father figures, even when we’re on vacation.”—Sarah Tollemache [49:04]
• “I think p. Did he, like, had sex with a sleeping Justin Bieber? Dude, I’m just trying to get paid.”—Dan Soder [66:56]
• “Is QAnon wrong? That’s all I’m asking.”—Dan Soder [70:02]

Important Timestamps

• [00:58]: Columbine discussion and how dangerous people find each other
• [03:23]: Failed child star bands and abusive parents
• [04:34]: Music biopics and movie trailer parody
• [09:54]: Restaurant work, payroll, and labor jokes
• [13:00]: Lasana the dishwasher’s double life as an engineer
• [15:16]: Baby messes and bodily fluid acceptance
• [18:10]: Hair plugs & “medical tourism” in Turkey
• [21:23]: Sarah’s family from South Africa/England, being an outsider in Texas
• [34:46]: Corporate America, temping, boundaries
• [41:47]: Near misses at SNL and JFL; “never count your money”
• [48:10]: Louis CK and needing father figures
• [51:16]: Threesomes and porn access laws in Texas
• [56:06]: Joel Osteen, corporate religion, and recent Houston floods
• [59:01]: Diddy scandal, Hollywood's moral blind spots
• [64:05]: The power of “no” disappearing with fame
• [70:02]: QAnon satire and the boundaries of conspiracy
• [71:04]: Sarah’s special Butthole Money (YouTube plug)

Episode Tone & Closing

The episode is a mix of cutting honesty, relentless self-deprecation, and sharp satire. Both comics frequently undercut each other and themselves with punchlines, riffing on taboo news, personal failures, and the bizarreness of both everyday life and showbiz drama. They close by joking about conspiracies and plugging Sarah's comedy special, with Dan suggesting, "Go write 'Is QAnon wrong?' in her comment section."

Recommended for:
Listeners who appreciate raw, fast-paced humor, aren’t easily offended, and want candid behind-the-scenes takes on comedy, pop culture, and the modern American psyche.