Celia Pacquola - Dogs everywhere

Summary

Podcast Summary: Sofieland with Sofie Hagen

Episode: Celia Pacquola – Dogs Everywhere
Host: Sofie Hagen
Guest: Celia Pacquola
Release Date: June 23, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lively and warm conversation, comedian Sofie Hagen sits down with acclaimed Australian comedian, actor, and writer Celia Pacquola. The episode delves deep into topics of parenthood, creative work-life balance, growing up in rural Australia, experiences working with dogs on set, the art of comedy and acting, writing processes, body image journeys, spirituality, and the comforting presence of animals. The tone is candid, humorous, and heartfelt, offering listeners both laughter and thoughtful reflection.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Catching Up, Parenthood & Everyday Magic

[01:07–05:20]

• Friendship & Motherhood: Sofie and Celia reminisce about festival seasons and how motherhood has changed the experience for Celia. She describes parenting a three-year-old as "magic is real, everything I say is gospel" ([02:58]).
• Encouraging Possibility: Celia discusses her daughter’s evolving career ambitions – from chicken to vet to just wanting to be a mum, highlighting modern feminism and the push-pull between personal desires and societal expectations.

“It's a really fun age because she... magic is real. Everything I say is gospel." — Celia [02:58]

Growing Up in Rural Australia & Animals

[05:26–08:39]

• Country Upbringing: Celia shares her experience growing up in Australia’s bush—clarifying what ‘the bush’ actually means, the presence of snakes and spiders, and how rural life influences perspective on death and nature.
• Pets & Dark Humor: The darkly comic experience of losing pet rabbits to myxomatosis and the pragmatic attitudes toward life and death in the country.

"In the country, death is a different thing... knowing the difference between life and death, which is, yes, Celia, this rabbit is alive. This rock is not alive." — Celia [07:51]

Dogs on Set: Joys of "Dog Park"

[08:39–11:38]

• Working with Dogs: Celia joyfully recounts filming a TV show set in a dog park with real canine co-stars ("the cast list is seven dogs"), the hierarchy among dog actors, and daily behind-the-scenes hilarity—like being upstaged by a dog pooping during a take ([10:43]).
• Comedy vs. Drama: The unexpected emotional depth of the show and the public’s reaction to its balance of humor and sorrow.

"Every workplace should have a dog...it would be 20 to 40% better if there was a dog in here." — Celia [10:01]

“There was one dog that just took a shit during a take. Just looked me down the eyes... I'm like, that is a power move.” — Celia [10:43]

On Comedy, Acting, and Creative Vulnerability

[11:39–21:41]

• Artistry & Identity: Discussion about the challenges and nuances of comedy vs. drama, with Celia expressing her desire to take on villainous roles to “see if I could play a really deeply unlikable character” ([13:25]).
• Audition Anxieties: Sofie and Celia swap stories of memorable, awkward, or failed auditions—including trying American accents ("water, water, water!") and facing impostor syndrome.
• Television Realism: Appreciation for casting diversity in UK/Aus TV, versus America's homogenization of faces and bodies.

“Because we've done so much stuff on stage, you're used to big expressions... But on TV, the camera's so close... just less everything.” — Celia [17:10]

”Sometimes comedians have an innate need to be liked. So it would be a real challenge to… play a really deeply unlikable character." – Celia [13:25]

“At one point, I was panicking and I just went... ‘water, water, water’... The casting director was just looking at me.” — Sofie [16:28]

Body Image, Dancing with the Stars, & Personal Transformation

[27:17–30:09]

• Stepping Outside Comfort Zones: Celia discusses her transformative experience on "Dancing with the Stars"—from discomfort with physicality to newfound body confidence and winning the show.
• Nudity vs. Performance: Both discuss personal boundaries with nudity on screen versus public vulnerability through performance, and personal journeys toward self-acceptance.

“By the end, I was wearing a couple of beads and a feather... I loved it. And I think part of the reason that I won is that I had the biggest journey because I was so uncomfortable and so unfit…” — Celia [28:02]

Writing Process & Comedy Craft

[30:14–35:57]

• Bits That Won’t Work: Both share stories about jokes that never land but might find another home (“thongs in emergency departments”).
• Chaotic Writing: The cyclical, sometimes chaotic creative process—constantly collecting notes, ideas, and refining material for the right context.
• Evolution of Material: The tension between wanting to revisit or improve past shows and the ever-present need to create new work.

“The process is so long for comedy... just get in the show that you have when the date rolls around.” — Celia [33:33]

Identity, Home, and Belonging

[36:04–38:39]

• Home & National Identity: Both discuss the complexity of feeling rooted as a performer and person, jealousy of strong local identities (e.g. Scouse, Glaswegian), and the mix of pride and guilt in national belonging.
• Parenting and Cultural Heritage: Celia describes her Irish partner’s pride and the joy of celebrating St. Patrick’s Day with their daughter.

Sofieland Laws & Universal Therapy Dogs

[38:44–41:29]

• Inventing Sofieland Laws: Celia proposes both practical ("lanes for fast walking") and utopian ideas, leading to a universal law: every building should have a dog, and those dogs should be cared for by dedicated staff ([39:48]).
• Dog Cafes & Animal Ethics: Fun contemplation of cat cafes as the “strip clubs of the pet world” and the ethical considerations of animal-friendly spaces.

"Every government building...has dogs. Even doctors have a dog. Every building has a dog." — Celia [40:03]

Body Autonomy, Consent, and Generational Change

[42:36–44:39]

• Teaching Consent Early: Celia shares kinder lessons on body safety (“Can I come in your bubble?”), contrasting current progressive approaches to how bodily autonomy was handled in previous generations.
• Embracing Rejection & Self-Respect: Importance of respecting children's boundaries, and how children intuitively understand and assert consent.

Spirituality: Tarot, Psychics, and Fate

[44:50–54:06]

• Psychics vs. Therapy: Celia’s journey from seeking comfort in psychic readings (“everything’s going to be okay”) to recognizing potential harms and viewing it as a form of self-soothing when anxious.
• Perspective on Fate: Both discuss comfort in assigning meaning to randomness—accepting that whatever happens is “meant to happen,” not as fatalism but as a calming worldview.
• The Deliciousness of Fate: The appeal of looking back at life in bite-sized stories; the anticipation of what the next ten years might bring.

"By the time I'd left, I'd always forgotten what [the psychic] said. It was never about what they said. It was really just: everything's going to be okay.” — Celia [46:40]

“Whatever happens, I see them or I don't, but that is exactly what's meant to happen. And then there's a reason for it.” — Sofie [50:30]

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• “Magic is real. Everything I say is gospel.” – Celia about parenting a 3-year-old [02:58]
• “Every workplace should have a dog. Like, this experience right now would not be 20–40% better if there was a dog in here.” – Celia [10:01]
• “There was one dog that just took a shit during a take. … That is a power move.” – Celia [10:43]
• “Because we've done so much stuff on stage... But on TV, the camera's so close... just less everything.” – Celia [17:10]
• “Every government building...has dogs. Even doctors have a dog. Every building has a dog.” – Celia [40:03]
• “If you approach things as if it is something that is meant to be, you will be able to deal with it easier...” – Sofie [51:32]
• “By the time I'd left, I'd always forgotten what they said. It was never about what they said. It was really just: everything's going to be okay.” – Celia [46:40]
• “I've done quite a lot of television stuff... It's always less than you think.” – Celia [17:10]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:07] – Start of conversation; catching up, motherhood
• [05:26] – Growing up rural, pets, and animals
• [08:39] – Dogs on TV, joys of working with animals
• [11:39] – Balancing comedy vs. drama, acting ambitions
• [16:28] – Hilarious audition mishaps (“water, water, water”)
• [27:17] – Dancing with the Stars, body confidence
• [30:14] – Writing process, jokes that don’t work (yet)
• [36:04] – Identity, belonging, and roots
• [38:44] – Sofieland laws: walking lanes and mandatory building dogs
• [42:36] – Children, body autonomy, and consent
• [44:50] – Spirituality, tarot, psychics, and comfort in fate
• [50:30] – Letting go of anxiety via “what will be, will be”
• [53:36] – Celia’s tour dates and show promotion

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Conclusion

This episode of Sofieland is a gem for comedy fans, animal lovers, parents, and anyone who appreciates honest creative journeys. Through personal anecdotes, candid laughter, and emotional honesty, Sofie and Celia explore both the hilarity and depth of life, reminding listeners of the value of magic in everyday moments, the comfort of a dog’s presence, and the gentle power of believing things will be okay.

Transcript

[A]

Dear citizens of Sophie land, I will let you listen to the episode in approximately 60 seconds. But first I just want to let you know that my brand new show, I think some of this is my fault, will be going to the Edinburgh Fringe this August and then in November I'm taking it to Soho Theater in London. Then it's going on tour to Denmark, Copenhagen, Unser and Aarhus, Sweden, Melmurg and Stockholm. Then I'm going to Berlin, I'm going to Rotterdam. The UK dates have just come out which are Leicester, Sheffield, Selby, Edinburgh, Glasgow, Aberdeen, Birmingham, Manchester, Liverpool, Reading, Brighton, Cambridge, London and Exeter. Tickets can be found on sophie hagen.com link is in the show notes alongside the link for the Patreon or the substack. Because this podcast is self produced, meaning I do all of the stuff, I do the editing, the uploading, the booking of the guests, the interviews, every single effing thing. So your support means the whole world to me. So if you sign up for the Patreon or the substack, you will get extra fun bonus content and you get to support me. I really appreciate it. I really love you. Thank you so much for listening. Please enjoy this episode.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Hi Celia.

[B]

Hello Sophie.

[A]

How are you? I'm very well. How are you?

[B]

I'm so good. I'm very cozy, comfortable. It's lovely to see you.

[A]

Brilliant stand up comedian, actor.

[B]

Oh yeah, that's me. Yeah, I know, I know, yeah, yeah.

[A]

I wasn't describing myself. Me, brilliant comedian, comedian.

[B]

You he also here also.

[A]

And you're here and that's great. How have you been? We've not seen each other for what, the 10?

[B]

I don't know when wouldn't. It would have been. I think it was the last time you were here but I didn't get to see a show. But maybe I bumped into you. You were here.

[A]

Yeah, I saw two years ago. No, I was here last year.

[B]

Yeah, that's what it was. Yeah. I wasn't out seeing very much. I don't know if you find this when you're not doing a show. It's like, I don't know, it makes me sad. Like you try and see stuff but yeah, just being out in the world, I think it's over and over, people going, has your show going? You go, I'm not doing a show. Just having to say that I'm a

[A]

tourist, I'm a. I'm a mere mortal common person.

[B]

But ye. But it's been. I live. Yeah. Because I used to be in London, which I miss. I used to live. Tried to live there for a while, and then I've been home in Australia for a long time and now I have a kid and I'm. Yeah. So this festival is my favorite time of the year because it's like when pals come back to visit, you know? Yeah. And also just having, you know, as doing a lot of mum stuff now. It also feels really good to just do stuff that's for you creatively. And I get to play with my friends. That's what it feels like to be like.

[A]

You have a play date?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

With your friends?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

How old is the child?

[B]

She's three. The child is the child.

[A]

Oh, that's the fun one is that's, like when they start to talk and have language. Right.

[B]

See, this is the thing. I had no idea. See, I would have thought three was like, Mama Dada. Three. She's almost gone to uni. Like three. Like, they start talking. It. They're. It's one to walk, two to talk. So two. She's talking. So she's been talking for ages.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

She says words like construction. I'm like, why did you learn that one? I don't know why that word sprung.

[A]

I died.

[B]

But she has opinions and beliefs about, you know. But it's a really fun age because she. Magic is real. Everything I say is gospel. Like, if I, you know, she believes that if I go, I can tell when you're lying. And I have super. I have special mum powers and, you know, tooth fairy is real and all that kind of stuff. But. Yeah, so it's a really fun, fun, silly age.

[A]

That's so sweet.

[B]

I'm already upset for when she's gonna be like, go away, Mom. I hate you. And I'm not gonna be, you know, I know. They're like, you're not supposed to be their friend. You're supposed to be their parent. But I'm not gonna be able to do that. I'm gonna be.

[A]

No, of course not. You made her. You should have some kind of. Right, right. You have some kind of ride to be like, no, I'm gonna be in your life forever, and you will live with me until I'm 16.

[B]

She's good and I like. It's fun. I've brought her into. She's had such a cool. She's had such a cool life, but you know what I mean? You give the kid you. It's hard to not be like, do you know how good you've got it? But, like, she's grown up with coming to theaters and her dad's a musician, so she was that cool baby, like, side of stage in the Baby Bjorn thing with the headphones on, watching her dad play keyboard at a music festival. You know what I mean?

[A]

Oh, that's a dream. A little lepper baby.

[B]

Yeah, but that's the thing. I don't actually want her to get into the arts, but she. Absolutely. There's no chance. She's got no chance. Although at the moment. So this is the weird thing, trying to be good feminist and stuff, because also I was real tomboy. But she loves pink and princesses. I'm like, in an ironic way, please be in an ironic way, but I forgot what I was gonna say. But she. I can't remember. But she likes the girly things. Meppo baby. Oh, that's what it was. So I'm like. So we. We occasionally ask her what she wants to be when she grows up because we think it's funny to write down the answers that range from a chicken to a doctor to a vet. But at the moment, it's all, I just want to be a mum. I'm like, that's fine. But also, not just a mum. You can be a mum, but you don't have to be a mum. Like, for a while there, she's like, I don't want to get married and I don't ever want to grow up. And I'm like, that's fantastic. You don't have to get married. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. But now she's just like, because I'm a girl and I have a. I have babies and I'm like, I want

[A]

to be a trad wife. I want to be a trad wife. Yes. I'm going to start a TikTok. I'm going to start baking and.

[B]

God. God. God, no. Anyway, so hopefully we're. I'm like, it's a phase. It's a phase. But nothing wrong with having babies. I've done it. But okay. Anyway.

[A]

That's so cool, though. How. I mean, I have to ask you about that. You.

[B]

You.

[A]

You're working. You work with dogs? Oh, yeah. A TV show. Including dogs. I cannot.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Was that. Or are you a cat person?

[B]

I've never had a cat. I do love cats. I always wanted a cat growing up, but we lived in the bush and my mum's a big bird person. She's like, they'll kill native birds. Okay, that's a bad.

[A]

Is the bush like the desert?

[B]

No. This tree's in the bush? Well, the bush can be the desert. I mean, there's different kinds of. But the bush. What? I. I lived in the hills.

[A]

The hills, yeah.

[B]

Okay, so that was just lots of trees and that kind of.

[A]

Is that the same as, like, countryside?

[B]

Yeah, but not, like English countryside. Lots of gum trees and. Yeah, but.

[A]

Yeah, but wait, so that in Australia.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

So is that like snakes, spiders?

[B]

Yep. Yeah. They're everywhere. They're pretty much everywhere. But it's not. It's hilly and a lot of trees and stuff. Whereas, like, desert is flat and red and rocks and spread out trees. But I'd still call it kind of bush. But I do get for it not being real country because.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Because it's not that far out and it's wine country. I'm from the Arabella.

[A]

The wine bush.

[B]

The wine bush, Right, the wine bush. Yeah. But I maintained there was no trains or buses. And it You. It was two hours on a bus to get anywhere. So that it feels enough country to me. So. So we didn't have cats.

[A]

I've just never known when people said I live bush, I was just like, I don't know what to imagine. But now I'm imagining the spiders.

[B]

Okay, cool. There's spiders every year.

[A]

So if you had a cat, they would have killed.

[B]

Yeah, my mum was a bird person, so they. They're not good. So we had dog. We had sort of. Yeah, sort of more farm dogs. Outside dogs. We had outside dogs. And I had a lot of rabbits as well. But in. This is just gonna make everyone sad. So rabbits are a pest. Here they were. When we were colonized, they brought a bunch of animals to hunt that don't belong here and ra a pest forever. And they invented this disease called mixed mitosis to try and kill the rabbits, which worked a bit, but it also worked really well at killing domestic rabbits. So if you have a pet rabbit, you have to put a lot of flywire stuff on their cage because it's carried by mosquitoes. Long story short, as a child, I watched five pet rabbits die horribly from myxomatosis. Yeah.

[A]

Is it a coincidence that you're a comedian?

[B]

No, no, it's really not. But it's also, in the country, death is a different thing. You know, that's. We weren't religious, but, you know, the closest we came to religion was knowing the difference between life and death, which is, yes, Celia, this rabbit is alive. This rock is not alive. Hit the rabbit with the rock. This rabbit is not alive. Was that your pet? Sorry. Like, I Had pet rabbits at the same time as my dad would shoot wild rabbits and skin them outside the house to put it in the freezer and eat them.

[A]

Yeah, I actually did. I didn't know I would, but this is.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. So. So a bit. Bit country, but yeah. So we had dogs, but no cats. But I love animals so much, and I'm very lucky that I'm at a point in my career where I can be a bit more choosy with the jobs that I take, you know?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And sometimes I'll take a job because I got to pay the bills, and sometimes I take a job just because that would be a fun time for me because the cast list is seven dogs. That's it. I was further down the cast list than the dog. So if you want to know, it's. It's a show as far as I knew it. It's an. It's a half hour scripted television series. Six half hours called Dog park, and it's set in a dog park. And there you are a character who has a dog and really likes dogs. And I'm like, I'm in time out. I'm actually. How's this? They didn't even ask me. I asked them. I heard about this and I went, hello, can I please audition for this? Because I w. To hang out with dogs for work because I travel too much to have my own dog. So it was the greatest. It was filmed in an actual dog park. There are five lead dogs cast, and then additional dogs, obviously, all day, every day. And then just like regular other dogs.

[A]

You mean like. Like extras? Yeah. So there's extra dogs, nuts, replacement dogs.

[B]

Well, the. The main little lead dogs did have understudies. Well, in case, you know, sometimes I don't want to perform. You know, one of them score was an older bulldog, you know, and, you know, that's a long day. Sometimes they need to be taken to their trailer. And so it was great. It was just so much fun. Every workplace should have a dog. Like, if this experience right now would not be 20 to 40% better if there was a dog in here.

[A]

I'm starting a new podcast now, mate. I just dogged Dogland.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Were they actors?

[B]

Some of them were. My dog. My character dog was a Kmart model. It was like a. Has done ads. But some of them were just. Just. Just people's dogs that there is. There is a woman who runs an agency. So some of them were agency dogs, bit famous dogs. One of them had been on in, like, two stage plays, had been In Annie had been so that that dog had more. Had more television credit credits than some of the human cast, which was very funny. Larry, that was Larry the Dog. Larry the Wonder Dog had their own TV series. I know. Diva. Absolute diva.

[A]

Yeah. Has had her own trailer.

[B]

There was one dog that just took a shit during a take. Just looked me down the eyes and just took a shit while I was doing the scene. I'm like, that is a power move. That is.

[A]

I am jealous.

[B]

I could not help but feel that that was a comment on my acting.

[A]

The amounts of times we've all wanted to do that.

[B]

So it was so much fun. So that was a real beautiful combination of it's just something I like to do and also quote, unquote, work. And the guy who wrote it, who's the lead I've worked with in the past as a writer. And I can't tell you how wonderful it is to act opposite someone you've written with, because then you can. You can talk about script. Yeah, it was wonderful. I loved it. So hopefully it'll go again. The only thing with it was, I think the general public was expecting it to be more of a comedy than it was. It had light, it has comedy in it, but it's also quite upsetting and it's got a lot of heart. It's beautiful because it's not, you know, it's more of a relationship drama with dogs, but it's stunning.

[A]

Do you prefer.

[B]

What?

[A]

Do you prefer comedy or like to act?

[B]

I want to do everything. Acting is acting because I feel like comedy gets underrated because people think it's easy. It's actually, it's harder, you know. And like, sometimes people think comedy, comedy, acting is being a clown, which it's not. It's often in real life, you're not doing, you know, it's just a funny situation or it's not actually big acting. But I'm still yearning to do more drama. I did one real drama drama back in the day that I loved. And then since then, I'm still waiting for another drama role. I got one that was very, very dramatic. But it was a very small part, which was in a show called Playing Gracie Darling, which was a murder mystery. And it was so dramatic. My. When you meet my character, she is just like, when you meet her. We find my sister went missing when she was a teenager. And when we meet me, my teenage daughter has gone missing. And then at the end of the first episode, I am told that a body has been found. And I think it is my Daughter. And it turns out it's my sister. So that was some serious acting. And I was really nervous, and it was a big challenge, and I was so excited to do it. And I think it went well, but it's so lit. Like, I got edited. I'm barely in it, but when I'm in it, I'm crying. I'm real upset. So everything's. I like things to be a challenge. I'm yet to play a villain. I would really, really like to do a serious villain. Just because. And I don't know if you have this as well, Sophie, but sometimes comedians have an innate need to be liked. So it would be a real challenge to. I'd like to see if I could play a really deeply unlikable character as a real challenge, my friend, to not halfway through. Go. I don't mean it. I'm sorry, my friend. What do you want to do?

[A]

Yeah, my friend. What started out as playing on in the West End. The genie in Aladdin.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

And then he was like a panto version of it. No, the West End version. Oh, the. The music.

[B]

Oh, I did see that. It was a very good adaptation.

[A]

Great.

[B]

Except for the fact that Abu the monkey had been split into three guys.

[A]

Yeah. And also there was some.

[B]

But that's funny to be like, what part are you from the movie? I'm a third of a monkey. Yeah.

[A]

And then he. And then he was George Washington in Hamilton.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

So like, the two most, like, likable characters in the world. And then he was Hades in Hadestown.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

To wear, like, black nail polish and be like, do you love it so much? I was like, this. Yeah. I was like, well, isn't this the most fun? And he was like, yes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because he went. And being like. And like, I'm just like, Hamilton esque, beautiful. Like, so just being, like, dark could be fun.

[B]

Do you think you could do it? Do you do much acting?

[A]

I do not. I was. Oh, my God. My favorite. One of my favorite films was a Danish film called the Night Watch. One of my favorite favorite directors, they asked me to audition for the sequel, which was like, after 10 or 15 years, they made a sequel. And I was so desperate. I did, like, the audition tape. And I said in the audition tape, I said, listen, I know this isn't amazing because I know I don't. I can't do this, but I will

[B]

in the audition say, I can't.

[A]

They can tell. They can tell. I'm not gonna pretend that I'm like, I'll be expecting your call. But I said to them in this. I said, listen, I will take lessons. I know I can do this. If you just give me, like, I can. I will do this. And I also said, and if. If not, I would love. I can just play dead. Like, I would just love to be there. Can I just be there? I'll get you coffees. I know this might not be how you sell yourself, but I was just like, I love this so much.

[B]

Yeah. Please tell me. It was.

[A]

Of course not. Of course not.

[B]

Damn it.

[A]

But they said that really like the tape. I'll take it.

[B]

But I did the same thing. The first drama that I did back in the day, it was a dramatic retelling of Anna Karenina.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

I know, Whoa. And this. My character was Dotty, who. Her husband. When you meet her, her husband, she finds out he's been cheated. He's been sleeping with the nanny. And I wanted it so bad. And I did that same. But I got. My agent went, can you call them? After I'd done the audition, which was in the room. So I don't know how. Anyway, tell them I have been cheated on, which I have. I'm like, I've got it in me. I can. I can do it.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And it worked. And I got it.

[A]

You got it?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I should have said, tell them,

[B]

but I love that.

[A]

I also have murdered several people.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. But I'm surprised at them that they couldn't. You can be a dead body. Come on, man.

[A]

It could be a dead body. I know you could.

[B]

That's what I mean.

[A]

Yeah, I know. I've read. I. Yeah, I think I just. I just. There's something. I think. I think I would. I would prefer to act in. In Danish. I did audition for a role as a twin. This is in la. I auditioned to be. To play a twin to an American person. And I was like. I was trying to do my best American accent.

[B]

Oh, yeah, that's tough.

[A]

And at one point, I was panicking and I just went, like. I was trying to say the line in, like, American. And then my brain went, this is an American. Say something American. So I just started going, water, water, water. And she was just. The casting director was just looking at me like. She was like, we'll. We'll call you. And I said, I know you won't. And she was like, no, no, no. It was amazing. We'll call. And I was like, it's not.

[B]

Like, your acting is amazing.

[A]

I'm not American. You don't have to I can. I'm Danish. You can tell me. I'm. It's okay. No, no, we'll give you a call.

[B]

Oh, my gosh. Committing to the bit. Yeah, it was.

[A]

And then I saw the show and I was like, well, it was. This is us. Is that what it's called? Oh, I get it. This is us.

[B]

This is us. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're like, I could have done that.

[A]

That was not.

[B]

That was never gonna be me. I can't do any accents. I don't have a lot of range. But I can be me as a person. Like, I feel like I learned very. I've done quite a lot of television stuff because what I. It's always less than you think. And from being on the other side as well. Cause I. Luke and I. Luke McGregor and I wrote a series. So being in the audition, sitting, watching people come in and audition, which is. Well, what I was saying about the comedy thing is often when people would come in for an audition knowing the show is a comedy, come in too wacky. When you're like, actually let more. What's more important is that it feels like you're a real person. And because we've done so much stuff on stage, you're used to big expressions and big blah, blah. But then the camera's so close. Like my first tv, a scripted acting thing. I still remember the director coming over to me and being like, celia, just let. Let like the microphone's right there, you know, just less everything. Like, you fat. Just because. Because I'm like, but if I'm not moving my eyebrows, how will the people know what I'm feeling? But I like. I like it. But I like doing a mix of all things. Like, I like stand up because I can say whatever I want. I can do what I want. And I like acting because someone else tells you what to say and it can be really nice to just turn up and they go, you wear this. You stand there and I'll bring you a coffee. And you say this and you go, ah.

[A]

And you get to not be yourself for a little bit.

[B]

Yeah. And like, sometimes you get to be really smart or you get to do something you're not allowed to do, like slamming doors in people's faces and having an argument. And you know, like a well scripted argument is so fun.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because I don't get. I'm very conflict averse, so I rarely scream in anyone's face. And it's fun to get to pretend, you know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Just get to scream in someone's face and then people Would be like, good, that's your job. Well done.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Can you do it again? Yes, I can.

[B]

And also because stand up so unpredictable, you know, like with real people and it's different every night and all that kind of stuff. There's something so that my anxiety brain loves about writing script because you get to control the whole world. Do you know what I mean?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm gonna say this and then you're definitely gonna say this. Oh, water.

[A]

Oh, water, water, water, water, water.

[B]

I had a sessions with some coach even though I'm never going to marry. But I just remember the, the line they told us again, the accent was, there's better butter in the city, but if you eat it, you'll get fatter.

[A]

There's better butter in the city. Oh my God. Oh, I had a horrible flashback. Oh, no, I've said this before. Well, maybe this is as to audition within 12 hours, they were like, you have to send this within 12 hours. You have to send a self tape and you can play. You can end up playing Idris Elba's lover, but you have to have an American accent. I blocked this out because it was so traumatic. Sorry. Because I was like, I have to learn how to speak American so I can play Idris Elba's lover. Oh my God. The way I was running around in my room like, better butter that thing. And then I did this audition tape and I didn't even hear back from my agent.

[B]

They'd moved.

[A]

And it's just been this.

[B]

Hello.

[A]

Oh, the whole.

[B]

The building's not there anymore.

[A]

It's just been this quiet, like unspoken thing ever since of like, I didn't even. So did they like. Because I just knew they wouldn't. I knew they wouldn't.

[B]

I'm so sorry. No, I, I did. Like, I'd never. America's just not. See, like, this is why I love the UK and to a lesser Australia in terms of who goes on screen. Like, it's interesting. Whereas in America, the parts that I was being put up to cast for is like old heaps old. Like ma. You know, like 50 year old.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And plus size. Like, you know, like. Yeah. My head doesn't go on American television. Whereas here in the uk, you know what I mean? You're looking at, what's it called? Coronation Street. The, the, you know, where they're smoking on screen and there's just interesting heads and stuff.

[A]

They look real.

[B]

And I go, yeah, okay, I've got more of a shot there. And also then in comedy as well, you've got more of a. You're allowed to be.

[A]

You're allowed to look different.

[B]

Yeah. I did one audition in America that was so bad and it was because it was. The character was sexually confident, which is my absolute nightmare.

[A]

Oh you have. Oh yeah.

[B]

I can't, I can't do it. If I really. Oh my God. Oh my God. Yeah. See what I mean? Like a villain. I think I could try. I'd like to try, but I could. I never. That's the part I cannot play. Is someone who. A seductress. I couldn't. There is no self as lover.

[A]

Had to be sexually and American. It's the two languages I don't spe tape exists somewhere.

[B]

Does that make you feel sick?

[A]

You know when they. I think about it every time they do like a. Oh, you should watch Robert Pattinson's audition tape for Twilight. And I'm like, I bet he didn't want anyone to see that.

[B]

But you know that'll be. That'll be a stand up show in 20 years you'll find that tape. And because that's what we do. That's what we do. We. We own the. The trauma and you bring it around like I don't know if you know a show called Bluey the Dog. The worldwide. The biggest television show in the world.

[A]

I've heard of it.

[B]

I was this long, long story short. But this ended up in my show. Basically I was offered the role of the mum in Bluey and I said yes and I recorded an episode and then I was fired. I was recast and I. There was a long time and then it became in front of my eyes the biggest television success of all time. And a voiceover job. The easiest job on the biggest television. And I watched that happen in front of me and for a long time I'm like, I wouldn't take this to my grave. I will never. No one will ever know my secret shame. But then of course you gotta fill an hour. I saw in my 20, my last show, in my 2024 show. I talked about it and it's the best and I love it. I love that you own it. And I'm like, it's funny. I get what I got out of it is. I get the lie. It's a funny. It's a funny story. And that'll be funny.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

It'll hurt you. But in 15, 20 years, imagine finding that tape of you being. Doing an American accent trying to seduce.

[A]

Anyway, yeah, I did, I did once get to make out with one of my favorite Danish Actors in the sketch.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

And it was improvised. Oh, hold on.

[B]

We're not supposed to do that.

[A]

No, we were not. They. The. The. The. The gist was we had to pretend to be massive fans of this guy who played himself.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then they were like, you're massive fans of his. Go. So then we were like, oh, what was it like being in this film? And what was it like being in that? And then he immediately leapt for the sort of. More like, hey. And then he tried to kiss the other one of the other comedians, and she was like, no. And then he tried to kiss the other one, and he was like, no. And I was like. And we locked eyes, like, across the dining table. And then we, like, leapt up on the dining room table and just started, like, viciously making out, like, tongues, like, all over the place.

[B]

Oh, my gosh.

[A]

And it went on for so long before the director was like, cut. And then it was like, thank you so much. Very nice working with you. It was. I think about that, but I'm not an actor, so it felt very real.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Every time I see it twinkle.

[B]

If there was a twinkle of consent across the. Across the table, that was intense.

[A]

Consent.

[B]

But I love that you, like, see you later. You didn't want to. You couldn't, like, you want to stay in touch. You're like, well, of course I wanted.

[A]

I wanted to marry him after that, but. And then it wasn't used. It was never. They said, we wouldn't make you horny. We wouldn't have you make out with him and then not use it in the final sketch. It was never used in the final sketch.

[B]

It's too horny.

[A]

So have we. Does that mean we have it hooked up in real life? I think that means what we've actually. I think that means we're boyfriend. Girlfriend.

[B]

I think so. But yeah, that's another thing as well. All sexy. I haven't done any. No. Or nudity. There was one show where I had to do. There was two. Two bath scenes on the script. And it was really funny to have a conversation with them, to be like, I'm prepared to put my ass on the table. That's what my view. But there's no full. No front vagina. No. You know, none of that. And no boob. Because whilst I wish to be taken seriously as an actor, I'm also a currently touring comedian who cannot have a screenshot of my nipple. Well, I would. I would rather not have that in the world. But by us, you get seen either. So it was fine. In the end, it was like. It's just incredible array of, like, pasties and wetsuit, so you don't see anything

[A]

but showering in a full suit.

[B]

Do I feel bad for when I feel bad for. They clearly, they must be okay with it. But you know, when there's like. When someone's. It's like really nude and they're not even a main character. Do you know what I mean? And I just go. I mean, obviously people make their own decisions and someone must be very comfortable with that. But I'm like, no, I didn't need to be. I don't even. I don't know a world where I'm, you know.

[A]

You're comfortable doing that? Yeah, I mean, I've been. I'm naked in a documentary that hasn't come out yet. Very, extremely naked. Like, very, very, very naked on a. I mean, rooftop of a building in Brooklyn. And it was as a photographer taking photos of me while I'm like, completely, completely naked. And then they were like, trying to, like, direct me to where to go and. And I. I was like, oh, if they were like. If you go to like, the edge of this, like, rooftop and then you just like, put your arms out and you can see like the Statue of Liberty in the background. I was like, oh, my God. So I went out and did like the Titanic.

[B]

Like, oh, my gosh.

[A]

And then I like, look down and on the building is a drive. Drive in cinema. So there's just cars and cast of people, like, looking. I am right on top of the movie.

[B]

But were you tiny? How high was the building? Could they. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

We were talking like 10 floors or something.

[B]

Did it feel so freeing and excellent?

[A]

Felt incredible. It felt incredible. And also just like, okay, that's like a couple of hundred people. Just like.

[B]

It just scares me when you look like your mind closing your eyes. I'm like, oh, my God. Just so near the edge.

[A]

That's why. Yeah. There was a race.

[B]

It's less than nudity.

[A]

Okay, good. It was a railing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How cool it was. It was really freeing. It's just like, well, there's nothing left now. What are you gonna do? It's weird.

[B]

What it takes. Like, I. Yeah, your body stuff. Like I did Dancing with the Stars here, which.

[A]

Oh,

[B]

it was amazing how I got went into it being like, oh, I forgot that I don't. I'm not comfortable using my body or having anyone touch my body or connecting using body.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[B]

It hadn't occurred to be on a dance.

[A]

It didn't occur to you?

[B]

Not really. I don't know. I don't know what I was thinking.

[A]

What a way to find out.

[B]

I know. I know. But it was great because through the process of doing that, I became so much less. It just. It felt like more like an athlete and using it. And it's just. We're all just shapes and stuff, unless, you know, weird about it. And by the end, I was wearing, you know, a couple of beads and a feather. Like, this is your costume for this week. I'm like, cool, let's go.

[A]

That's amazing. Yeah. How far did you.

[B]

Oh, I won.

[A]

You won?

[B]

Really does seem like I brought that up to say that, but I didn't. But I did also. Yeah. So, yeah, I loved. And I think part of the reason that I won is that I had the biggest journey because I was so uncomfortable and so unfit and, you know, and really particularly, like, they. They on purpose would give me the sex when we had to do the. Not the tango. There's one. That's the soul. They're not tango. Maybe it was a tango. The one that was the sexy one on purpose. And that was. That was a tough week.

[A]

Oh, yeah. And you had to be sexually confident.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. You have to be sexually confident. My favorite dance was the foxtrot, because that sounds sexy, but it's not. It's no eye contact, no hips. It's like the ballroom dancing one where you look away from them.

[A]

Oh, the autistic band. I love that one.

[B]

And it's like you're flying if you're just, like, spinning around, but you don't look at them. No, you're not there. You know, Whereas then that. The. The. The Must have been the tank. No, the tango. There was another one where I got. Not salsa, anyway.

[A]

But yeah, one of the point is.

[B]

Yeah, it was amazing how it's like, it is possible through that kind of stuff and learning how to you. Yeah. Like, I never wanted to be picked up, you know, ever. That stuff. But then learning that it's actually about your strength being picked up is not about them. Them picking you up. You're doing it. Something you do together. And actually there's things that I can do to make it easier and to be lifted. You know what I mean? It's not. It was really, really.

[A]

Oh, you're almost.

[B]

I'm not close to be. I'm not gonna be nude on a rooftop anytime soon, but.

[A]

No, but I would rather be nude every day of the week on a rooftop than dance.

[B]

But see, that's the thing you might, you, yeah, you might really like, really enjoyed it. And Felicity Ward did it last year and she talks about a lot of it in her show and she absolutely loved it as well. It's hard. It's really hard. But it's really satisfying. It's really satisfying. And as I say, I've never felt like an athlete.

[A]

I would love to do it just not on tv. Yeah, Like I want the version of it and then it gets cut.

[B]

That's why it's unfortunate that there's nothing else like it, you know, because afterwards people are like, oh, you're going to keep dancing? I'm like, no, I can't go from a top level professional dancer who trained with me eight hours a day designing dances just for me one on one to, you know, Tuesday night boot scooting where I'm me and 70 year old Stan going around a.

[A]

You bring a makeup artist to do the full TV makeup.

[B]

Oh, that's the thing. Spray tans everywhere. You can spray tans anyway.

[A]

Oh, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Oh, this is so fun. So, but, but to talk about, right, let's talk about writing. Oh, yeah. Is there a bit that you have tried to make work on stage that just will not work and you don't know why or maybe you know why, but you still wanted to go?

[B]

Yes, there is, but I think it's one of those things where I think it'll end up in a script. It doesn't seem to work on stage, which is fun as well.

[A]

It's lovely that you can try it in different ways.

[B]

Do you know what I mean? Sometimes it never quite works enough. But the concept, it was. And I. It was almost gonna be in this show. It made it a couple of things, which is basically I learned that thongs, flip flops are an inappropriate footwear for an emergency department. Basically. It was years and years and years ago. My mum was in an acc and she's fine. But just because we're in Melbourne, I will tell you that it was the most Melbourne accident ever. She was in a tram that was hit by another tram in front of Luna Park. And like if she'd been drinking a soy latte of the time, it would have made her instant queen of Moomba. But she wasn't. Anyway, she hit the back of her head. She was in the emergency department. I was somewhere and my sister went, can you go get clothes? And it was summer and I went there and I just was wearing thongs and it's just so inappropriate not because of the open toes, but because the sound the thongs make when you're in a think it's too much of a holiday vibe when you're going past people who are doing so that's the idea. And I think it is a funny premise. But it's never enough that it's bumped other bit. You know what I mean? It doesn't really.

[A]

The contrast is really good.

[B]

So I feel like it'll be something that I'll write something someday that'll be in an emergency department. And that's just a funny bit of business that someone happens to have thongs on. Because you can't not make the sound unless you just slide your feet. And then that seems. That seems like disrespectful as well. Yeah, but that's the bit that comes to mind. But I'm sure there's lots of bits I don't know about you. But my writing style is chaotic. I just have hundreds of open documents called new material. So every now and then I'll just choose a random one and scroll through and find stuff. But I find the same ideas keep coming up. You know what I mean? There's ideas that you go back and I'm like, oh, that right. That actually has been trying to get through for a while. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's only when it finds. That's right. Which makes me happy to know that if something doesn't work, it'll find its place.

[A]

You will want. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And nightmare, you just need another context. And you go, oh, this is where

[B]

this comes also the nightmare of burning stuff too soon. So there's stuff in this show. There's a little bit where I'm like, this really feels like it'd be for that show that might be coming up. But you've got to play the cards you've got at the time, you know? So I'm like, well, but it works now. Let's put it in now. And just trust that there will be more jokes, because that's the other thing you. Every joke you write, like, that's probably the last what I've ever gonna do.

[A]

And I also feel like every idea, you could always go deeper, deeper, deeper. Until that one joke could become an entire show.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

But then suddenly you've got 20 shows planned.

[B]

Yes. Or the other way around. You go back. I've had bits that I'm like, this is gonna be a huge bit. And in the end it gets paired back to two lines.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like in this show, I had a bit. I'm like, that's gonna be 20 minutes on this random. And then I just bailed on all of it. And one bit has survived, which has nothing to do with anything else. Where does that go? Nowhere. All of this invisible work.

[A]

Invisible work.

[B]

Like, I love it. But the process is so long for comedy. And it's so. It's upsetting because, you know, it's never finished. If you just kept doing the same show, how good it could get. But it's just. You just get in the show that. That you have when the date rolls around, like, so that's what's hard about it.

[A]

You'll watch old shows and you'll go, you idiot. You should have said this instead. Because now you're eight years older and you can think in a different way and you're like, oh, I wish I could do that show now. Whoa. It would be amazing.

[B]

Yeah. Which I know people who do that, who go back to old bits from really early shows and bring it back and write it again.

[A]

I mean, that should be fine.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I. I would love it if my favorite songs, like, if the artists were like, would re record it and, like, make it a bit different and better. I would love that.

[B]

I don't know. It's weird. Yeah. I don't know. But it's interesting being at this point in the festival where I really love my show and everything in it feels like it was always gonna end up exactly where it was. But three months ago, I was like, I don't have a show. None of this makes sense. This is absolutely pointless. Fucked that. It's always like that. Like, right now I'm like, that's right. I've got a show. It's fine. But genuinely, over Christmas, I was like, I'm gonna have to cancel. I'm gonna have to pull this. This is a waste of my time. It's gonna be a waste of people's time. But, oh, and that's the other thing is, like, it's hard to not. Because we don't work nine to five. It's hard to not give yourself a hard time because, you know, maybe if you sat down for another two hours, you'd fix that little bit. Would be five would be 5% better. So what are you gonna do when you should just go to sleep or, you know.

[A]

Yeah. And all then it's like, you do that and then you don't fix it. And then you try it again and you can't fix it and you try it again and you're like, I'm not a comedian. I Don't do anything. I'm useless and this is horrible. And I don't know what. I'm gonna have to quit and get a real job. And then one night you're like, oh, maybe I can say this. And then you fixed it in like a split second.

[B]

You're like, wait, terrible gig. I did a terrible gig, like a corporate something, and it was a disaster. But from that, for whatever reason, ad libbed one thing that goddamn solved something. So, like, God, God damn it. So, yeah. But I love writing hours the most. I'm not a club. I do clubs, but I don't enjoy it. I like. I like them settling in and you having an hour to. To have a story and, you know, 100%. Oh, it's so good.

[A]

I'm so.

[B]

And I saw your show. It's so great. So did you start with. With this show? Where did it start with?

[A]

In terms of material?

[B]

Yeah, like, when you're. In terms of your idea for it. Was it the. Your town?

[A]

No, it was, it was, it was. I didn't know how to do stand up right now. Like, I could. I felt like I should be saying something important, but I. I also don't wanna. My audience is my audience. And I've kept thinking, like, anything I say about current events that is like, on the right or anything like that, I'm like, that is useless because they know and they agree with me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So, like, how. What can I say to my audience that needs to be said that I can say that we need to hear? Like, how do we. How do we do that without being shouting into an echo chamber and them just going, yeah, you're great. We agree with you. Like, yeah, what can I. What can I give of myself that would.

[B]

And it's great. I don't want to spoil your show. So you need to get the message out there. So people go.

[A]

It stems from basically, what do I need to say right now to be able to justify doing stand up?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I. Yeah. And then also. And then. And then I. I've always wanted to talk about the town I'm from, and now I've moved back there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So then I'm very close to it and everything. Like, I, I do. I. I did go to the local museum and I. I've never felt. I've always been very envious of comedians who have. Who are, like, connected to their place, you know, who are like, I am Scouse or I am Glaswegian, or I am American or whatever it is.

[B]

Like, I've always Been, hello, white Australian here. I have no, like, pride. Like, it's really.

[A]

Yeah, it's like an identity thing as well, where I'm like. Because I lived in a village for 10 years, so I don't really feel like. Because I was 10 when we moved, I don't feel like I'm from there. Then I moved to Farum, but because I hadn't lived there for the first 10 years, I was like, well, I'm not really from Farum, am I? And then I moved to Copenhagen, but then I moved to London. And so I've never had that. Like, I am from. And this is my hometown, but I've now embraced Farum as my hometown. And now I'm like, this is what I am. I like talking about that.

[B]

I shouldn't say I have no pride. I have a lot of guilt, but it is kind of no pride. It's. It is tricky. And my partner's Irish and so jealous. And. And it was St. Patrick's Day, so we've got a little daughter who's half Irish, and we sent her. We messaged the Kinder. I just so you know, it's St. Patrick's Day, and if the kinder kids want to wear green and send her in a little Irish jersey. And like, I'm like, is this what national pride feels like? Is this what it is?

[A]

I love it.

[B]

Yeah, it's. That's wonderful. That's so cool.

[A]

Now, but. But we've. We've both left home and now we're in Sophie land.

[B]

Oh, yes.

[A]

Which is a nice place for nice people. And I have decided that you're, of course, welcome to stay.

[B]

Yay.

[A]

I would love for you to join the government if you want to.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Which means you can decide a law. I mean, I can ve to it, of course, but what would be the law that you would implement in the land of Sophie land?

[B]

I mean, so many. Look, I mean, how many billionaires are in. So can we tax all the billionaires?

[A]

Heavily taxed.

[B]

Okay, good. I feel like that would do a lot of good. It was going to be lanes for fast walking, like in pools. Speed lanes.

[A]

I love this.

[B]

Just for everyone's peace of mind, because I love an amble, as does everyone else, but sometimes I got places to be and I know which way I'm going and, you know, and I don't want to be mad at you, but you get big a lane, so maybe that'd be an easy way to actually sort it.

[A]

Do you know what? Can I tell you what I love about that is that I've had guests where their suggestion is just death penalty for people who walk slow. And you found like a really nice empathetic way.

[B]

That's funny. Our fun. No, they can really.

[A]

Just.

[B]

Out of my way.

[A]

This Trump's any other law to do with death penalty and slow walkers.

[B]

So that's what you need the update. This is the thing. It's be able to. To take on new ballers and then. But I think since talking to you, dogs have to be implemented somewhere. So I think every. Every government building has all, you know, has dogs. Even doctors have a dog. Every building has a dog.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because I don't want to say. Because I would say every person has a dog, but some people don't want a dog. It's a lot of work, but everywhere you go, there is a dog that is being taken care of. Yes. And that's a great. That. That's making jobs.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

That means there's people whose job it is to look after the dogs who are in the buildings. And then I could do that. That'd be a great job. I'd do that job.

[A]

Oh, I almost want to do that. I'm the leader.

[B]

In Adelaide, there is a therapy dog in the airport. There's a woman who stands there. And so the dog's job is for people who get overwhelmed in the airport. And you can go over and give the dog a pattern.

[A]

Oh, my.

[B]

I'm too premenstrual to talk about it, but why just airports everywhere? Just have. Have a. Have a therapy dog.

[A]

That is so good.

[B]

But you got to choose the right kind of dog. Like, probably not.

[A]

Yeah. The ones that want. They want. The ones they want to do it. They really want to do it.

[B]

Chocolate labs.

[A]

Oh, stop it. I. I'm getting. I didn't say this to my friend. She's. She's here and her kids are back in Europe. And she said that she realized she really misses her children because she's now noticing children when she sees them in the street. And I didn't say this to her at the time, but I was. Was what I was thinking was I'm the same, but with my dog.

[B]

Oh, of course.

[A]

Like, I'm gonna be like, yeah, I notice dogs now too. It's exactly the same. But it is.

[B]

It certainly is.

[A]

I'm just like, who's looking after your dog? My mother.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And they're having a nice time, and she's sending, like, photos of. Of him sleeping all this. Because that's all he does.

[B]

I mean, they're just the best. Particularly that's been my. With all of the world the way it is. And that's. That's the. Is. Is animals is the only way to go.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The self soothe, you know what I mean? Because they don't know. Because they don't know. They genuinely don't know.

[A]

They don't know. And they're so sweet. I mean mine. He has an attitude, but I think deep down inside he's a good dog. It struggles to show it. Oh, that's. I like that. Dogs everywhere.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yes. Yeah. So I just, I was imagining a dog cafe. That must be good dog cafe.

[B]

It feels unethical but I've been to cat cafes. I used to have material about it and my. I quite like that. I was like, it's like if you can't picture it, it's like a strip club for cats except the strippers are cats. Because it's almost exactly the same. You walk in and you look at them and you know that I touch them and you're not sure if they like want to be there. You're like, maybe they like it, maybe they like, you know. So that's how I feel. It's the same sort of ethics. I'm like, strip club's fine. If everyone's into it. Everyone's been looked after. Cat cafe.

[A]

Maybe the cats like it.

[B]

They're getting packs.

[A]

I have to believe they like it.

[B]

And sometimes they get on your lap and put their bum in your face. See? Exactly the same as a strip club. But yeah, I think if it's in an ethical way, like dogs like being padded, you know, I think it's okay.

[A]

I think that as long as we. As long as we respect their signs when they tell us they don't want to. Well, that's it. Yes, that's it. And that goes for humans too.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

That's a general rule, I think.

[B]

Well, that's the other thing that's really beautiful to watch Ellie, my 3 year old learn this body safety autonomy stuff at kinder and the cutest, my favorite is you have a bubble and you have to go. You have to ask. You go, can I come in your bubble? And if they go, you can't come in my bubble, then they can't go in the bubble. But if you go, can I come in your bubble? They go, yes, you can come in my bubble. And then you get a cut of me. But just like stuff like that. We never had that. We had. Kiss your grandma. Yeah, get on his. Get on your uncle's Lap. You know, don't be rude.

[A]

Yeah. And it's ingrained in us. My. The. I'm the godfather of a two year old. And. And I like, I. So desperate. I want to hug her all the time and I want to kiss her all the time. And I can. I get the instinct to go do it.

[B]

I'm here.

[A]

Come here. But just when she's like, no, like that's okay.

[B]

That's fine.

[A]

And you're. And you showed. That's great. Of course not. And you're like, of course. I should never be like, oh. Like this beautiful little soul that just says no without thinking in any way that it's a bad thing.

[B]

There you go. Okay, but what if I gave you a lolly?

[A]

But I'm gonna do it.

[B]

But I'm your favorite.

[A]

Oh, that's beautiful.

[B]

You get a lot of high fives. That's always the thing that. So it softens the blow if they. If they don't want to cuddle. You can have a high five. And most of the time you get a high five. But it's great. It's very positive to know that they're.

[A]

And you learn from it. She's really good. She likes. She likes teasing. So she likes. She. She thinks it's the funniest thing when you go, hello. And she goes. And she's like not acknowledging you. She's like cracking up because you're a professional comedian.

[B]

That's what was very upsetting when my daughter was really little. I got no laughs. I'm like, I'm a goddamn multi award winning comedian. This is good gear. You are wrong.

[A]

You have no idea what you're dealing with.

[B]

Dad's musician's getting goddamn laughs all over

[A]

the place in the middle of my little joke. You little. One day. One day.

[B]

Well reviewed. This is technically excellent that you're getting.

[A]

Even Steve Bennett liked me more than this.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

God damn it. It. Finally. I just. I want to just mention like spirituality, belief.

[B]

Oh yeah, that's right.

[A]

Like tarot.

[B]

You.

[A]

You mentioned tarot. I just love being there. I'm not. I'm. I believe it. I love it. I want to be near it, but I don't think I know how to do it. Talk to me.

[B]

Have you not done it? I have so many opinions. Have you ever had your.

[A]

I've had someone do my tarot. And that was quite fun. I don't. I just think I'm not good at doing it myself. I always want someone else to do it.

[B]

Of course. No, I'm not going to do it myself. I have, I forgot to bring them. I have multiple crystals and decks but I don't know how to do it. That's just for, you know, often you'll just have a shuffle and then just go, what do I need to see right now? And pull out some random card. It just, I used to be way more into it and then, and then when I was in the UK I went to some festival and a palm reader called Tony, wearing a vest with stars and moons on it told me I couldn't have kids. And so I did it. So that's a stand up show called. It's called Let Me know how It All Works out. Which is once a psychic said that to me. A psychic who is so bad because I used to see psychics all the time but sometimes like I'm not an idiot, sometimes they're so bad. And there was one that was so bad that she was basically just interviewing me. And at the end of the reading I'm like, you know, she's like, all the best. You know, let me know how it all works out. I'm like, hang on, did you just ask me to tell you what happens in my future? Anyway, so the whole show was about basically like basically I saw psychics before I realized therapy was a thing. So psychics was basically someone who looked like they know, who sat down and said everything's going to be okay. That's it. Because by the time I've left I'd always forgotten what they. It was never about what they said. It was really just everything's going to be okay. And then when I had that palm reader tell me I couldn't have kids, I was like, that was the first time. I was sort of like, oh shit, this can be harmful. This can affect my real world stuff and sent me into a real spiral. Obviously I had a kid so turns out incorrect but, but that shows and I didn't really. I've only very rarely seen, had readings since then. And it's weird because people have such a visceral reaction to it. I've had friends say to me like I like you less now that I know this about you because it's a, like it's a full on thing but as I say, it's generally not that I believe all of it but usually what happens is I'll usually do it if I've got a big decision and usually whatever they say and it's usually nice. That's the thing. Tony was the first time that it's not been something that Sounds positive. It just tells me what I was actually thinking. Do you know what I mean?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

It sort of shows you what you were hoping they were gonna say.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

But yeah, I've got recordings, tapes and tapes of stuff that I've never listened to again and I don't know what would actually come up. But yeah, it used to be something that I relied on as a, something to make me feel better just in with all of the anxiety of the uncertainty and stuff. But I'm aware it's, it can be really hurtful particularly with the people talking to people who've passed. I don't do any of that. I think that is so that can be oh my like taking man people. I know there are scammers out there a million percent and I cannot imagine what it'd be like to be someone taking advantage of someone who believes or. And I got to, in America, I went to one when I was like 19 and they told me I was cursed. This is another scam. If this happens to you, they do a reading and they go you've got a curse. You curse your cursed. But don't worry, I can do a spell that can take it off you. But it costs this much money.

[A]

Yeah. Oh that it's infuriating.

[B]

I know, I know. So just I, I, this is my position. Just be very clear eyed about it all. But if you're doing it just as something that's not, don't put too much stock into it and look after yourself.

[A]

But I guess like your intuition is, is trustworthy and it used to be nice.

[B]

And that's the other thing. I've never met a psychic who's angry. Like worst case it's half an hour with usually a nice lady in a purpl. Do you know what I mean? No. Psychics like I don't know you fucking get a promotion. Do you know what I mean? It's really funny but my position is in terms of fate and, and our, what's that word? If we could do what we want. Predetermined free will.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

20, 26. Can't remember what that is anymore is because I know some people think that everything being random is very comforting. They like the thought of things being random. I don't here's my position but I also wish for free will. So I hope not that there's fate but kind of there's a, there is a path that would take you to your highest potential and you can choose to take it, but you don't have to. Yes, but it is there So I feel like there is some things that. Not meant to be, but kind of are there if you want, but you do still have free will.

[A]

But also, why would I put this

[B]

out on a podcast? I'm gonna get.

[A]

So I'm gonna back you up based on what I experienced yesterday.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

This is what this is. This clicked for me yesterday. There's someone here in Melbourne that I have bad history with. And I've become very, like, aware. Like, oh. Like, I'm like, I found myself looking, like, am I going to run into them? I'm going to run into them. And I was like, okay, I need to just, like, figure, like, what am I going to do with it? Because I can't just be like, you know, roaming the streets.

[B]

You know what you'll do if you go down one street to avoid them, that's where they'll be.

[A]

And then I was like, okay, I'm gonna have to believe in the universe now. If I run into them, because I've been in the same place for long periods of time without ever seeing them. And I've been in. In places with them where I've seen them all the time. And I was like, okay, if I run into them, it's because I'm meant to run into them. And it's because I'm meant to deal with something. The feeling, whatever they say, whatever happens. And then that's what I have to do. If I don't, it's because I'm okay to not see them. Yeah. So whatever happens, I see them or I don't. But that is exactly what's meant to happen. And then there's a reason for it.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

And since I thought about it like, that, I could calm down because it was no longer like a what if and I need to know and insecurity. And it was just. Now I can. I know that whatever happens is the thing that's meant to happen.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then I've been fine since. And I think it's that. I think it's more about. Because then if I do meet them, I won't approach it from, like a panicked point of view. I'll go, oh, I wonder what's going to happen now that is meant to happen.

[B]

Yeah. See, I agree. That's what I think. But it's hard. I am aware people will be like, what? It's hard to knowing with all of the awful things that are going on in the world. So I don't mean like. Well, it's meant. You know what I mean? Bad things don't have to happen. I just, I feel that, I mean that on a very personal level like that in my day to day and my life and particularly now, I think we're sort of prone to this kind of thinking because our life is so uncertain with no clear path. In terms of our career stuff. Yeah, a lot of it does come from chance encounters and you just happen to be somewhere with somewhere. So I feel like maybe that's why we're more open to.

[A]

And even if it's completely random, even if everything is completely random, it's more about how you approach things. And if you approach things as if it is something that is meant to be, you will be able to deal with it easier, I think, depending on who you are. For me, if I just have to, if I just believe it's the point, then I will have an easier time. And then it doesn't even matter if it is the point or not. I'll just feel better.

[B]

It's wild, isn't it? Isn't it? I always, I just. This is why I love that, that show. I really like that show. I would do it again because I'm fascinated with the future, because I love, I love a recap. Like, I love, you know when you meet someone, you haven't seen someone for 10 years and they go, oh, my gosh, what's happened in the last 10 years? Oh, I had a kid, became a lawyer, quit, went to jail, blah, blah, blah. Do you know how delicious that is in one sentence? 10 years. Like, even you and I do. You know what I mean? From the ten years for whatever. From when we met, when I started comedy, if you told me, then be like, well, you're going to be a comedian for 20 years and you're going to be in a show with the dogs, and then you're going to be in a hotel room with Sophie Hagan doing a podcast, talking about, like, I, I can't. I'm in such a. Not in a rush, but kind of. There'll be stuff that'll be 10 years from now that we'll be like, can you believe we had no idea? Particularly the pandemic was a big one. Like, looking back at it now, remembering before, being like, yeah, what's this going to be?

[A]

This will be wild.

[B]

The future's interesting, guys. What happens in the world is interesting. But that's why I find psychics is also so delicious, because it's, it's that it's a bite size. It's not a boring. And then you go to the shops it's not the boring stuff. It's a. Well, there'll be a travel or blur. It's the big. It's the big things that make you feel positive moving forward. So I think it can be an interesting thing. But. Yeah, but I've got some, I've got some connections if you, if you're willing to do it. I think the greatest thing, the greatest improvement is that I have had psychic readings over the phone.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Which is nuts to me. It's like this is combining witchcraft and technology.

[A]

That's incredible. Oh, I like that. They can do that now on the phone.

[B]

Zoom, zoom to zoom tower, zoom.

[A]

Psychics. I'm into this. Okay, we're gonna talk a bit more about this on the, on the Patreon. Oh, yeah. Pluck your stuff. Where can people see your stuff?

[B]

Well, I've got one, I'm doing. I don't know when this will go, but I've got one final added an extra show of Gift Horse, which is my show, which is about the fact that boyfriend gave me an inflatable kayak for my birthday. That's how I am dealing with the issues of the world is I'm going pure escapism and real triviality. And I'm having the best time. Monday the 13th in Melbourne and then I'm going all around Australia except for Perth cuz my ex boyfriend lives there. So. And follow me on Instagram I guess and keep an eye if I ever come back over to London, which I hope to do.

[A]

I hope so too. Yay. Thank you for doing this.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Thank you so much for listening to that episode. If you want some sweet, sweet, sweet special extra bonus content, do go and sign up to Patreon or Substack and within the week you'll get an extra fun bonus episode. And there's so much fun. And there are so much. Did I mention fun? Go to Patreon or Substack. The links are in the show notes and I'll see you on tour. I'll be all over the place. The Edinburgh Fringe, Soho Theater, Denmark, Sweden, Germany, Netherlands and all over the uk and more dates will be announced soon. Please sign up for my newsletter. The link is also in the show notes and just big thank you. Thank you for subscribing. Thank you for telling people about the podcast. It's completely self produced. I don't know if I've mentioned it, but I love you very much and thank you for listening and I will speak to you again soon. Thank you so much. Bye. Here's the end Jingle made by me.