Kim Blythe - A not-so-secret spy

Summary

Sofieland with Sofie Hagen

Episode Title: Kim Blythe – A not-so-secret spy
Date: March 24, 2026
Guest: Kim Blythe

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Episode Overview

In this lively and candid episode, Sofie Hagen welcomes comedian Kim Blythe back to Sofieland for a wide-ranging conversation touching on the imaginary rules of Sofieland, their mutual disdain for certain AI applications, a shared obsession with spies, mafia intrigue, daydreams about heroism, and the awkwardness of compliments between queer friends. True to Sofieland’s whimsical format, the conversation is full of self-aware humour, delightful tangents, and insightful moments about technology, vulnerability, and fantasy.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Sofieland Laws: AI, Walking Etiquette, and Death Penalties for Bad Posters

• Sofie reiterates the show's premise: "This is Sofieland. My country. I'm the dictator." (01:29)
• Kim suggests new laws:
  • Make it illegal to stop abruptly on busy sidewalks: "I would love it to be illegal for people to stop immediately when you're walking in a busy... Like a car wouldn't get away with just stopping immediately." (02:03)
  • A darkly humorous law: "I think we should make it punishable by death for people to use ChatGPT to make a caricature of themselves or a picture with a celebrity." (02:39)
• Sofie agrees, highlighting a desire for stricter control: "You have to provide some kind of license... because you have a medical need for it." (02:58)

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2. The Trouble with AI in Daily & Creative Life

[02:55 – 07:16]

• Both express strong opinions about AI’s growing role:
  • Sofie: "My current issue is with people who talk about it as if it's a person who matters... What do you mean? Whatever you're about to say, I'm not going to put any value on that." (03:50)
  • Kim: Admits occasionally using AI pragmatically: "I have used it... to help me figure out how to fix my washing machine. Like that's what I used it for." (04:36)
• Deep discomfort with AI’s forced personality:
  • Sofie: "Even in that, it goes like, 'Great question, Sophie.' And I'm like, this is – you go away. I just find it so condescending." (05:16)
  • Kim agrees about the hazards of people forming relationships with AI bots: "There's a Reddit forum called My Boyfriend is AI ... it's the saddest thing." (05:55)

Memorable moment:

• Kim: "There needs to be more safeguard... vulnerable people are gonna end up getting, like, harmed by this." (06:07)
• Sofie and Kim brainstorm an AI ruleset for Sofieland: "Our AI will only give facts and it will not be personable... you have asked a question. Here is the answer. Do not speak to me again." (06:48-07:00)

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3. Spy Aspirations & Espionage Fascinations

[07:44 – 10:01]

• Kim playfully asks for a government job in Sofieland: "My recent obsession... is spies. Like CIA and stuff like that. I'm getting right into that now." (07:51-08:02)
• Kim is enthralled by ex-spy John Kiriakou: "I've listened to every single one [of his podcasts] because he, like, worked in Pakistan for years as, like, a spy." (08:22)
• Sofie points out the classic first mistake: "I feel like you've made your first mistake, which is saying it out loud on a podcast." (08:40)
• Both joke about espionage, cover jobs, and the intrigue of simply gathering gossip:
  • "Well, it's nice to know what everyone else is up to." (09:57, Kim)
  • "If nothing else, just for the gas[sip]." (09:59, Sofie)

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4. Small-Town Drama, Charity Dynamics, and Local Facebook Groups

[10:07 – 13:19]

• Kim shares a hilarious Glasgow drama about a man banned from a restaurant called the Crab Shack, famous for his 'unhinged voice notes': "He keeps insisting that he doesn't care that he's been banned." (10:19)
• The duo bond over the niche joy of small-town Facebook group spats and food bank group politics:
  • "The smaller the better." (11:19, Sofie)
  • "There's a food bank in my town... the woman who runs it... she's such a... well, finally, someone useful." (12:01)
• Commentary on charity leaders’ “rudeness” being excused due to their good deeds: "If you run a charity, you get to just, like, be as nasty as you want." (13:12, Kim)

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5. Spying Versus Lying: Could You Be a Spy or a ‘Made Man’?

[13:29 – 16:17]

• Discussion on cover jobs for spies ("charity research for menopausal whales"), and whether Kim could lie under pressure:
  • "I'm notoriously a bad liar... but I'm really good at games like Blood on the Clock Tower." (14:35)
• The conversation turns darkly comic about murder:
  • Sofie: "But could you kill? Because wouldn't spies sometimes have to kill?" (15:34)
  • Kim: "Who says I haven't already?" (15:38)
  • Kim denies she could kill: "I can't even kill if there's a spider in my house. I don't even kill that." (16:48)
• Sofie shares her childhood spy fantasies involving seducing and killing the enemy: "Like, in a resistance movement, but... I'd go back and... kill them in their sleep." (21:09)

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6. Mafia Mania & True Crime Obsession

[22:04 – 25:56]

• Kim pivots to her previous obsession: the Mafia.
  • "If you go on Netflix, there's a documentary called Gotti... he loved the paparazzi and was very in the face." (22:16)
  • "There are podcasts run by ex mafia members... which means he definitely would have killed people!" (24:35)
• Sofie critiques the Mafia’s constant “tough guy act”: "There's never a moment where they go, 'Oh, my God, this is like the movies.' They never break character." (24:49)
• Kim stumps for The Sopranos as the best Mafia depiction: "First season...is about him being in therapy...having panic attacks." (25:31)

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7. On Learning History, Musicals, and World War II on the Stage

[27:11 – 30:40]

• Sofie (reluctantly) admits to enjoying a nonfiction book outside her interests: "It's about a military ship... they have to... eat each other." (27:17)
• Both agree musicals can help with learning history: "Maybe everything historically should be put into a rap musical." (29:33, Sofie)
• Sofie describes an abysmal WWII musical: "During the break, they had to beg people to stay." (30:20)

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8. Heroic Daydreams & Active Fantasy Lives

[31:23 – 37:36]

• Kim reveals her recurring fantasy: "Being the hero in some sort of crisis... and me stepping up to the plate." (31:32)
• Elaborate scenario-building:
  • Kim dreams of minor injuries for the heroic impact: "I like to get, like, a little injury, but not too bad, but something that shows..." (32:45)
  • The fantasy scales up: stopping robbers, bombs, getting news coverage but always wanting to “stay humble.” (33:35-36:13)
• Sofie’s daydream twist: "I think I'm usually more like the bad guy... It's the moment where I have been caught, but... I go from being like, 'Oh–'” (38:51-39:21)
• They joke about being Netflix documentary talking heads: “It's a dream of mine to be interviewed in a documentary about someone – not about me!” (39:56, Kim)

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9. The Queer Compliment Trap

[41:37 – 43:19]

• Sofie asks for a compliment; Kim overthinks it:
  • "My initial compliment wants to comment you physically... But I got paranoid as a lesbian... I don't want to come across [that way]." (41:48-42:13)
• Both reflect on queer social anxiety in platonic spaces:
  • "I would have the bag over my head in the [PE] changing room... don't want people thinking I'm gay because I'm not... It's so a performance." (43:21)
  • "Men would never think about this." (43:46)

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10. Where to Find Kim & Final Fun

[44:08 – 45:19]

• Kim shares her socials (Instagram: Kim Blythe Comedy, TikTok: kbfilms92), plugs her Glasgow Comedy Festival and upcoming Fringe shows.
• Intimate sign-off: "I'm going to highlight – yes, I mean, titties." (45:29, Kim, joking about Patreon extras)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• "I think using AI should be taken more seriously, and I think using it for stuff like that should be... punishable by death." – Kim (02:43)
• "If you run a charity, you get to just, like, be as nasty as you want. But you get to be like an angel..." – Kim (13:12)
• "I'm a big fan of gossip." – Kim (10:01)
• "I've got to wheel out [of the hospital] because I'm gonna have to get my strength back on." – Kim, deep in heroic daydreams (37:13)
• "My initial compliment wants to comment you physically... But I got paranoid as a lesbian..." – Kim (42:13)
• "Men would never think about this." – Sofie (43:46)

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Listen for These Memorable Segments (Timestamps)

• AI Lawmaking & Rants – [01:42 – 07:16]
• Spy Fantasies & Cover Jobs – [07:44 – 15:14]
• Mafia, Mob Podcasts, Sopranos – [22:04 – 26:01]
• Disaster Musicals & Edutainment – [29:33 – 30:40]
• Heroic Fantasy Daydreams – [31:23 – 37:36]
• Queer Platonic Compliments – [41:37 – 44:02]

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Tone and Takeaways

Warm, irreverent, and deeply personal, this episode is both a window into the guests’ comic minds and a commentary on modern annoyances – from AI to awkward queer interactions. It’s a playful, meandering, and hormone of laughs and insights, perfect for fans of British/Irish comedy, pop culture riffs, and honest, queer conversation.

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Guest Plugs:

• Instagram: @Kimblythecomedy
• TikTok: @KBFilms92
• Glasgow Comedy Festival: Show "Cowboy" on March 20
• Edinburgh Fringe and planned tour

Host Plugs:

• Catch Sofie on tour throughout the UK and Europe (see show notes for dates)
• Extra content on Patreon or Substack

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Transcript

[A]

Dear citizens of Sophie Land, I will let you listen to the episode in approximately 60 seconds. But first I just want to let you know that my brand new show, I think some of this is my fault, will be going to the Edinburgh Fringe this August. And then in November I'm taking it to Soho Theater in London. Then it's going on tour to Denmark, Copenhagen, Unser and Aarhus, Sweden, Melmurg and Stockholm. Then I'm going to Berlin. I'm going to Rotterdam. The UK dates have just come out which are Leicester, Sheffield, Selby, Edinburgh, Glasgow, Aberdeen, Birmingham, Manchester, Liverpool, Reading, Brighton, Cambridge, London and Exeter. Tickets can be found on sophie hagen.com link is in the show notes alongside the link for the Patreon or the substack. Because this podcast is self produced, meaning I do all of the stuff. I do the editing, the uploading, the booking of the guests, the interviews, every single effing thing. So your support means the whole world to me. So if you sign up for the Patreon or the substack, you will get extra fun bonus content and you get to support me. I really appreciate it. I really love you. Thank you so much for listening. Please enjoy this episode.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Okay, so welcome back.

[B]

Thank you for having me back again.

[A]

Naturally.

[B]

How's your week been?

[A]

Oh, just been thinking.

[B]

Yeah, thinking a lot. I haven't moved. I just thought I'd stay here.

[A]

It's been quite nice. No, I went all the way back to Denmark and then I had to go back. So you may. You may not even know the concept of the podcast. This is Sophie Land.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

My country. I'm the dictator.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

And I've decided after our interview last week that I would like for you to live here.

[B]

Thank God.

[A]

And you're allowed in the government if you want.

[B]

Amazing. Yes.

[A]

What is the law that you would like to.

[B]

Oh, right.

[A]

To give us to. And of course I can veto it because I am the dictator. But ideally, you know, I'm right.

[B]

There's so many. Jesus. You. You've really asked. I mean, a law that. Just walking up here, I would love to implement.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I would love it to be illegal for people to stop immediately when you're walking in a busy. You know, I mean, like. Like a car wouldn't get away with just stopping immediately. That would be considered dangerous. Why are you doing it?

[A]

Yeah, true.

[B]

So, but that. I don't know if that's one idea, but another one I would really like to implement is AI. Look, I understand that AI is going to have a lot of good and it's going to do. Yeah, But I think we should make it punishable by death for people to use Chat GBT to make a caricature of themselves.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Or like a picture of. Or.

[A]

Or.

[B]

Or making a picture of them with a celebrity or something like that. I think using AI, I think AI should be taken more seriously, and I think using it for stuff like that should be

[A]

100 agree. 100 agree.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I think it should be that you have to provide some kind of license that is to do with a professional, something you want to do professionally or because you have, like, a medical need for it.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So, like, if it's. If it's a necessity for your job or your mental or physical health.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Then yes. But you can't just use it for fun.

[B]

Yeah. You can't use it, and you also shouldn't. I better not see one fringe poster this year.

[A]

Oh, God.

[B]

If I see. I mean, I've already seen a lot of local nights or whatever, and that's right. Okay, that's fine. But if you use your fringe poster, if you use AI.

[A]

No, I've already seen them. I'm going because I'm going to Melbourne. There are some.

[B]

Take them down. I think it should be acceptable.

[A]

I think it should be. I think it should be. I.

[B]

Why are you, like, stop being so blaze, man. Like, stop.

[A]

My current issue is with people who talk about it as if it's a person who matters, that they'll be like, oh, my God, you'll never guess what Chat GBT told me. Oh, what the are you talking about? It's. What do you mean? Like, I'm. Whatever you're about to say, I'm not going to put any value on that. You're aware of that, right? You'll never get what Alexa told me. What? The robot.

[B]

It's crazy.

[A]

It's a robot. You know, it's a robot.

[B]

Did you see there was, like, a trend going about where people were getting to. People were asking ChatGPT to draw a picture which describes the relationship with them.

[A]

Oh, I saw.

[B]

And it was like, everyone I saw, it was like a robot who was, like, overtired and overworked. And I'm like, how much are you asking?

[A]

Oh, I hate it so much. I hate it so much. And they're like, look at what chatgpt told me.

[B]

Like, I'm not. I'm not. I have used. I have used it. I will admit that I used it the other day there to help me figure out how to fix my washing machine. Like, that's what I used it for. Right.

[A]

But that's a necessity.

[B]

Yeah. Like, I'm not proud. That was still maybe a bit lazy of me. You know, I could have Googled it, but I thought, no, I feel like this will get the answers. I do think there's a. There is a use for chat GB or a use for AI in general, but creatively, I don't think it should ever be. It doesn't.

[A]

And I don't think it should be personable. I think that the. The few times I've used it, which has usually been for some kind, like if there's a brand or something that's like, read through this contract and I'm like, well, I don't have £800 to pay a lawyer.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This is a thing where I. This is my only option to do this thing. And that would, you know, I would be able to make money off of this. So I can. Blah, blah, blah. But even in that, it goes like, great question, Sophie. And I'm like, this is you. You go away. Go away. What is this? It is. I just find it so condescending.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, I'm going to be like, oh, thank you so much.

[B]

Your feelings are so valid.

[A]

So you won't believe what you like.

[B]

But that's the thing that mean people are going into psychosis. So, like, relationships with like, these chat bots, especially the ones that are like these apps that is like your online girlfriend or whatever, people are like, killing themselves.

[A]

There's a Reddit forum called My Boyfriend is AI and it's people. And it is. It is the saddest thing. It's so sad. And not. It's not sad because, like, the people are pathetic. It's sad in that these people really need this.

[B]

Yeah. Well, yeah, it's vulnerable people that are gonna end up getting, like, harmed by this. There needs to be more safeguard. And these kind of. Yeah, it's. It's crazy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So you need to ban that.

[A]

I really think. I think there needs to be some kind of. Some kind of ethical laws around that.

[B]

Yeah. There should be no Persona and there should be no creative, like, creativity.

[A]

It should be factual, period.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There should be like any kind of. I don't know how they're going to do that, but. Oh, what if it's like, it only takes from like, Scholar. Something like, it does. It's not allowed to take from people coming up with things. It has to. I don't know.

[B]

But there should be. Yeah.

[A]

We'll hire someone to. In the government who does that.

[B]

Someone's going to figure that out.

[A]

Like, our AI will only give facts and it will not be personable. Yeah, it'll say. It won't say great question. It'll say, you have asked a question.

[B]

Here is the answer.

[A]

Here is the answer.

[B]

Do not speak to me again.

[A]

Never speak to me.

[B]

You get one question a day.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then.

[A]

Oh, and you can only use it if you then call a friend or a therapist in the meantime. So you have also spoken to a person.

[B]

Yes, you can. Yes. Can't use it for therapy either, because I've seen a lot of people doing that.

[A]

No, stop that.

[B]

Don't. Don't do that. Speak to a professional.

[A]

Even better. Help that app that everyone one is. Who will now never sponsor this. But I would never do. I would never let. I would. It's so scary. It's like they sell themselves on being like, oh, and you can text us night and day. That's not therapy. That's not how therapy is meant to work dependency.

[B]

That this is so bad and there's

[A]

so many people who've had horrible experiences with it. No, we won't have that.

[B]

Yes, that's what I would like to. What will my job in government be?

[A]

What would you like for it to be?

[B]

So, my. Obviously I asked you because I have a idea.

[A]

I would never force it upon you.

[B]

My recent obsession. I like any normal girly. I like to get obsessed with things. And my recent thing is spies.

[A]

Spies.

[B]

Spies.

[A]

Not Spice.

[B]

No Spice. No Spies.

[A]

Spies. Yeah.

[B]

Like. Like the. Like CIA and stuff like that. I'm getting right into that now. There's a guy called John Karaku who was the whistleblower for the torture program in Guantanamo. That was it. Yeah.

[A]

About maybe how he said.

[B]

And he's doing about. He's done, like, about 20 podcasts in the last, like, two months, and I listen to every single one because he, like, worked in, like, I think he worked in Pakistan for years as, like, a spy and stuff. And I'm just obsessed that this is a real thing, that there's just spies everywhere.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I want to be one.

[A]

I feel like you've made your first mistake, which is saying it out loud on a podcast.

[B]

Redactors.

[A]

You'd be a horrible spy.

[B]

Double bluff. Double bluff. Because then they're gonna be like, oh, no, it won't be. She said in the podcast she's not gonna be a.

[A]

Although now it has to be triple,

[B]

quadruple, or triple up. So met. You're not gonna know how good you

[A]

are, because I saw I mean, I want to say a documentary.

[B]

Yeah, it was a TikTok that was.

[A]

It was a spy who said. They asked him what's the most accurate spy movie and he said the Born Ultimatum.

[B]

I think it says John Karaku looks like the same guy. The guy with glasses and probably.

[A]

But then I watched it and I kept being like, that's actually the most. Actually that's. That's really realistic. That thing right there. That's actually the most realistic spy movie of them all. That's what I know about this.

[B]

Yeah. Spy Kids also very. Did you see Spy? It's like a kid's one. No, he. Yeah, because he was like a consultant on one of the. I think it was.

[A]

It must have been him.

[B]

Yeah, it was like a consultant on one of these things. But yeah, just the fact that he was just a spy.

[A]

Yeah. It's wild.

[B]

I'm obsessed with it. So I would. If you would have. I would love to spy on other nations.

[A]

Yeah, sure. I mean we have. We don't really have use for it, but sure.

[B]

Well, it's nice to know what everyone else is up to.

[A]

Yeah. If nothing else, just for the gas.

[B]

Well, that's. I'm a. I'm a big fan of gossip.

[A]

I'm a big fan of.

[B]

Oh, there's been like Glasgow drama recently.

[A]

Glasgow comedy drama. Oh, Glasgow city drama.

[B]

Just Glasgow city drama. There was this guy who was barred from a restaurant, Right. The restaurant was called the Crab Shack.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And someone like released always like angry voice notes about it and they're the funniest things ever. I'm going to have to let you listen to them. Cuz he's just clearly like mental but like in the best way possible. It was like, I don't even like the Crab Shack. I just went there because they don't use seed oils and I care whatever put into my body. It's like that amazing. And it's like 20 unhinged voice notes where he keeps insisting that he doesn't care that he's been burned. Like he doesn't care. Like it won't affect him. He didn't even like that much. However, he cares this much that he just can't stop talking about it. And it's like very like middle upper class, like, oh. Kind of scene, you know, it's like the Crab Shack's quite a fancy kind of bar and he sounds very kind of middle class and it's just. It's great. I love it.

[A]

I loved. I love local Facebook groups.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Oh, yes. The vitriol of people. Yeah, I love it.

[B]

I love it as well. That's what I miss. I love. Because I live in a city now, it's not the same as, like, my hometown.

[A]

No Facebook. The smaller the better.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, There's.

[A]

There's.

[B]

In my hometown, 1. I live in a little town. I used to live in a town called Denny. And there's always these two boys who just wind everyone up, but no one, like, catches onto it. So, like, someone will put in looking for a plumber. Can anyone please recommend? And out of the mates, whoever can get to the fred first will be like, oh, they'll tag the other one, like, give him a shout. But they do it for everything. So, like, plumber, like, oh, I'm looking for a musician to play my ba. Oh, my mate will do it. Like, it's just. They do it all the time and they've done it for years and like, nobody ever. They're always getting people going, great, mate, I'll send a message. It's like I run a joke that no one ever stops them.

[A]

We have. There's a food bank in my town and I signed. I joined the sort of group because I was like, yeah, if I can never help, like, I would love to help. And the woman who runs it, I mean, bless her for running it, but she's such a. It's like she goes, like, we need someone who can. Who can pick. Pick things up from this place to that place. And someone will go, what day is it? And she'll go, check the post. And then it's. You check. And it's like, oh, yeah. At some did say, you know, from between this and that. And then someone else will go, I can do it, I just can't do Tuesdays. And she'll reply and go, well, I didn't say Tuesdays, did I? Oh, my God, it's every single. And then at one point, one person goes, I can do it every Wednesday from 3 to 4. And then she goes, finally, someone useful. And everyone's trying to be so nice about it, but we're all statistic.

[B]

That's so funny. I. Look, the thing, there's. There's a. A guy I know in Glasgow who runs a charity and he's a bit rude and a bit like, he's been quite nasty. Some people I know, but it's that thing. It's like if you run a charity, you get to just like. But you can be as nasty as you want.

[A]

You can.

[B]

But you get to be like an angel.

[A]

The best person I'M the best person in the world.

[B]

So many lives. So I can call you a prick

[A]

because I'm like, I love it. I love it. Because no one wants to, like, so

[B]

we can be more.

[A]

That could also be your job. But you need like a cover job when you're a spy.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Right. So you can travel around doing charity research.

[B]

Yeah, Charity research for. I need to find a worthy cause that's not too serious.

[A]

Whales.

[B]

Whales with menopause.

[A]

Menopausal whales.

[B]

Menopausal whales. Did you know that? I mean, I'd imagine they do get. Do mammals get menopause.

[A]

Chat?

[B]

Let's pretend. I'm going to pretend. You got a team. Right. Can you. Can we check? There's 18 people behind us right now?

[A]

Yeah, we get a screen up. Oh, they don't. They don't. There's no menopause.

[B]

We should do both reactions because they might. Oh, right, right, right. So this is for the donor.

[A]

Oh, my God. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

You were right. You nailed that.

[B]

There we go. Yeah, we'll find it a better cause, but. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, that's good. I love that because that's the thing then as well. Like, you're never gonna. No. Is she a spy? No, she works for a charity.

[A]

She would never lie. She would never lie.

[B]

She's so honest.

[A]

I love it. Do you think you can lie, though, when you're a spy?

[B]

So I'm notoriously quite a bad liar. However, I've started playing a game called Blood in the Clock Tower.

[A]

Blood in the clock tower.

[B]

On the clock tower.

[A]

Blood on the clock tower.

[B]

Yeah. So it's very much like a traitor's type game.

[A]

Oh, okay. Yeah, like who bled on the clock tower?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It's like, why does it.

[A]

What?

[B]

I don't know why it's called that.

[A]

It's about figuring out why there's.

[B]

No, I don't.

[A]

Am I taking it too literally?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Am I autistic? Yes.

[B]

Yes. I have no idea why it's called that, but my mate does like a games night and it's like the traitors. Like someone's bad or a couple of people will be in the bad team.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You've got to figure out. And anytime I'm the bad person, I always win because I'm just so good at getting people to trust me. And I never knew I had this talent until I started playing this game.

[A]

Oh, I love that.

[B]

And it's made me think, like, I want to go on the traitors. I think I would be Good. But in real life I cannot lie like at all. Like I'm really bad at lying to people.

[A]

But could you kill? Cuz Wooden spies, sometimes we have to kill.

[B]

Who says I haven't already?

[A]

I would say the giggling tells me that you haven't already.

[B]

Yeah, no.

[A]

Yeah. No, I'm saying no, I'm going to go with it.

[B]

Every murderer has a little giggle after they think about their killer.

[A]

Haven't you? Did you see the spot? There's just a spy video on my for you page where they ask a, a woman spy.

[B]

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[A]

They ask her what's her, what her favorite way of murdering someone was. Then she goes a gun. She like laughs.

[B]

That's such a girly pop.

[A]

Gorgeous. It's so quick. It's so easy.

[B]

She actually killed people.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, that's crazy. I love.

[A]

Yeah, I think you do sometimes. Yeah. The, the, the, the. Or do not the spies that do the killing.

[B]

No, I think that's a hitman. I think. Yeah. I think this guy, it was like intelligence. He's got an intelligence officer. So he's just there to try and gain if anything people try and kill him. I think he could kill if someone was trying to kill him.

[A]

We can all kill if someone is trying to kill us, who hasn't.

[B]

But

[A]

we'll all be in that situation one day and we need to know we're allowed to kill.

[B]

We've all had a bit to drink and we're all aware but. Yeah. I can't remember what I was gonna say. No, I couldn't kill. No, I can't even kill. Like if there's a spider in my house. I don't even kill that. I'll let that out. I don't like killing like insects or that.

[A]

No, no one likes killing insects.

[B]

I think some people do.

[A]

We do because we have to.

[B]

I think some people love killing spiders.

[A]

Do you think?

[B]

Well, not like killing them, but they hate them so much.

[A]

They're like, ah, that's true. That's not the same.

[B]

Come on, get out. Well, yeah, I suppose that is like in their mind that is like my life was at stake.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's eight arms.

[B]

Yeah. Do you like spiders?

[A]

No, of course not. Hate them. I really hate them and I will kill them. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I will kill them.

[B]

I think they get a bad rap. I think the marketing's terrible.

[A]

That is true. That's not my problem.

[B]

I think they need new pr.

[A]

It's like. But like a lot of them can, can kill You. So it's like, why am I taking this?

[B]

Yeah. To be fair, I have never been to a country that has, like. I've never been to Australia before where they have, like, those scary.

[A]

But also, I've seen. Have you seen the movie Arachnophobia?

[B]

Nope.

[A]

No. So I grew up with arachnophobia.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And it was a movie about some bananas that were impulsive.

[B]

This was always the mafia.

[A]

They can come over. Yeah. And then they were. There was a spider in the bananas.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Like, a danger.

[B]

That would make me more scared of bananas than.

[A]

Yes. And I haven't eaten fruit since. Fruit of Edge, Everything like that.

[B]

Because you never know.

[A]

You never know. But that was such a creepy film. And it was like. Like these, like, massive killy spiders. And it would be like an older couple eating popcorn watching a film. And you would see the little spider crawl into the.

[B]

Right. I've never saw that.

[A]

Someone's showering, and then it would jump while she's.

[B]

But then you just stomp it in your head.

[A]

No.

[B]

That's horrible. Right? No, I haven't seen that. No. I just. Yeah, I haven't seen the big. I've never encountered. I'd imagine that it's a. I'd imagine Denmark has, like, very much the same kind of species as us. Like, you're not really seeing any big. No spiders there.

[A]

I saw a snake, and some people say it's not. It was a snake.

[B]

You saw a snake?

[A]

It's a freaking snake. I was. I survived Australia for a whole month, and then I came to Denmark. I was just sitting in the woods with a friend, and there's a freaking snake. Not a dangerous one, they say, but it was, like, this close to me.

[B]

I did, like, escape somewhere. Or was it like.

[A]

No, it's like that. We apparently have snakes in Denmark and, like, no one's told me.

[B]

Why did they not tell me?

[A]

Because its official name is hookworm, which means, like, worm. But it's not a worm. Yeah, it's a snake.

[B]

It's a snake.

[A]

It's only as worm. In the same way that all snakes are worms.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I feel like 12 to 24 hours after I was still hyperventilating. I'm so scared of snakes. Is un. I haven't been back to that forest.

[B]

Yeah. To be fair, I used to have the fear of. I don't know why, but a fear of a snake coming up the toilet.

[A]

No. Yeah. Because I think we've all heard that. Yeah. That happens.

[B]

Even though I live in Scotland. That's there's not even snakes here. But I used to be like, yeah, of course. Because I'm very vulnerable being in the toilet.

[A]

It's a very vulnerable situation.

[B]

I don't want to get bitten in the bum.

[A]

And there was the Stephen King film where an alien come. No, that comes out into the toilet. No, it came out through someone's butt into the toilet. And then someone else went on the toilet, and then it came back up.

[B]

What film does.

[A]

Dream Catcher.

[B]

Right. Never seen it, but I'm gonna see it now. That sounds like my cup of tea.

[A]

I'm just saying. And everything's scary. Everything can kill you. Everything's scary.

[B]

Yeah. I just. I do. I still just feel sorry for little spiders. I'm sorry.

[A]

Yeah, that's true. I just don't want to think about it too much.

[B]

No, I just. I don't kill them. And I also don't kill people. And I know that's controversial, but I just don't do it the one without

[A]

also not killing the other.

[B]

Yeah, they come hand in hand. If you've killed a spider, you've definitely killed a person. Like, I've got no doubts about it.

[A]

I know a murderer when I see one.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I used to fantasize about being a spy in like. Like, in a resistance movement, but, like, where I would, like, seduce a really bad guy from, like, the. The bad side. And, like, they would think I was one of them. And then I'd go back and be like. And then I would kill them in their sleep.

[B]

All right. Okay. I thought this was gonna be a. More like romance heavy, but. No, I love that.

[A]

Yeah. It's like killing the back, but, like, because, you know, they're gonna.

[B]

He imagined me and my undercut and my football top being like, hi, sexy. Got any secrets for me?

[A]

I'm very right wing. I agree with all your policies.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. The gays. Anyways,

[A]

your wife's cute.

[B]

Yeah, she's lovely. Got any secrets? No. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if I would make a good spy, to be fair.

[A]

Old Triple Bluff.

[B]

There's a one way to find out.

[A]

I like that. But I think a lot of it is just sitting by a table and you're just listening on you to people's conversations and stuff.

[B]

Now. How good would that be? So I watched them. I'm also so right now my obsession is spies. But before that, it was the mafia.

[A]

Ooh. Oh, God, I think they're so boring. Oh, the mafia is so boring. I think it's so boring.

[B]

How dare you? The Mafia is great. I love the Mafia.

[A]

Teach me the Mafia. I might find it interesting.

[B]

Well, I. If you go on Netflix, there's a documentary called Gotti. It's about John Gotti, who was, like, the flashiest ever mob boss, because most of them are, like, quite quiet and keeps himself. But he, like, loved the paparazzi and was very in the face. But anyways, the documentary shows that they were, like. They bugged his place. Like, they put, like, microphones in his house.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And they had to listen in. I'm like, what a job that would be. I feel like you're still just into the sign on someone.

[A]

You just. Again, you're into the spy stuff.

[B]

That doesn't sound like the Mafia, but. No, I know, but how do you. I love the Mafia.

[A]

No, the Mafia things. I've never seen it.

[B]

Well, that makes sense.

[A]

I've never seen it. Do you think that would make me be interested in the Mafia? I like that. Was that a Netflix show with the hot. What's the hot man? The hot guy?

[B]

You're asking the wrong person.

[A]

It's the old man. And then the. Wait, there's a house. Fuck. What's it called? It's Breaking Bad.

[B]

Brady.

[A]

No, he looks like he's been punched in the face.

[B]

I feel like this is, like a bad game. Electronic.

[A]

It's about the Mafia and that was really good. It's a family. It's that guy who's Scottish, or maybe he's playing a Scottish person.

[B]

Scottish man, gray hair. This is great. I love this.

[A]

It's not George Clooney, but similar.

[B]

Similar. Like a Scottish.

[A]

And then his wife is not Meryl Streep. But it's similar Helen Keller, but not the one who's blind.

[B]

Is it Ozark?

[A]

No, no. There's only one season.

[B]

Right. Oh, you've lost me. You've absolutely lost me. And Sophie, you've lost them as well.

[A]

Please just stop watching. This is not. Can't believe I forgot. But. No, but that was about the Mafia and I like watching that. But I just. I think I just don't care about. Because they're so cool.

[B]

It's. I love the politics of it all. Like, the secrets that they've got to. Like, they do the little oath and they've got to. They're in it forever. They can never leave.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you've got to do something really bad to become a made man.

[A]

A made man?

[B]

Yeah, made man. So you can, like, work with the Mafia, but to be a made man, to get, like, A rank. You've usually got to, like, kill or do something, like, quite mentally prove that you're. But the good thing is living in this day and age is there are podcasts run by ex mafia members.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Yeah. There's a guy, a cat. It's Michael something. But he was like, a made man in the mafia, which means that he pretty much definitely would have killed people.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And he just has a podcast.

[A]

That's amazing.

[B]

There's a guy called as well, Sammy the Bull. He's also like, a podcast.

[A]

I think this is what I don't like. I think it's just a bunch of people who are too cool and they never go, there's never a moment. Well, I've never been in the actual mafia, but I just feel like there's never a moment where they go, oh, my God. This is like the movies. Like, they never break characters. I was like, really tough, really hard. Never. Are they like, I'm scared. I don't want to kill someone. It makes me anxious. Like, they're never real. Like, they have to build up. I don't think they are. I don't think they truly are. I think deep down. Did you ever watch the Sopranos? No, I didn't watch the Sopranos.

[B]

The Sopranos is like. I mean, I've only. I'm trying to watch it. I keep, like, getting to a certain point and then forgetting about it and having to start again. However, the. The first season, the Sopranos is about him being in therapy.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It's like it starts off where him, like, he's, like, dealing with the. Like, he's a mob boss, but he's having to go to therapy because he's, like, having panic attacks. That's what

[A]

had me. You had me at their therapy and panic attacks. Yeah, that's what I want.

[B]

So the Sopranos does bring, like, these guys are a bit up from, like,

[A]

all the magical Godfather.

[B]

Yeah, Sopranos before. There's no mental health in the Godfather.

[A]

Okay, I'll watch Sopranos.

[B]

Watch Sopranos.

[A]

Isn't that like 19 seasons and then black and white?

[B]

I think it's like nine. No, it was in the 2000s, late 90s. It was a HBO. It's a HBO show.

[A]

It feels black and white.

[B]

Yeah, it does.

[A]

That's the vibe of a black and white.

[B]

But yeah. Let's watch. I'll watch it as well.

[A]

I would do like a show club.

[B]

Yeah. Guys, join me and Sophie's new.

[A]

What's the live streaming? Us watching Sopranos. If you want to watch the Sopranos.

[B]

The Sopranos new podcast.

[A]

Yeah. Yes.

[B]

This is going to be one of podcasts the Sopranos, where we just watch. We. That's what we should do. We should find, like, series and things that are, like, like, very famous, but we're just seeing them for the first time.

[A]

Guys, you'll never guess this. This is great.

[B]

Okay, this sounds, like, really good. It's got like A, 10, star 90, and B, we're like, guys, who would have known?

[A]

Season two, Star Wars. What's that about? Okay, I'm in. I'm in. Because I am. I'm trying to be like, I read a book about a boat in the 1700s, right? And I was like, I don't care. I don't care about boats. I don't care about the 1700s. I don't care about soldiers. I don't care about islands. I don't care about the. The ocean.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's a really good book.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. I got really into it.

[B]

You've not sold it to me, I must admit.

[A]

It's. Well, I wouldn't have read it if I knew what it. Like, I can't sell it because everything I'm gonna say, it's about a military ship that has to sail from England to somewhere, and then it capsizes and these soldiers are on an island and they have to, like, eat each other and.

[B]

Oh, and you got married. But.

[A]

Okay, good. Yeah, I didn't even. I didn't know that when I first started reading it.

[B]

Even to just come into the idea

[A]

of a book, then they have to. To get back to England somehow. But it's 1700, so you can't just easily do that. So. But everything about it sounds really. But it has a pretty cover.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

And you know what they say, Always judge a book by its cover.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And then everyone was like, it's really. It's non fiction and it's true. It's non fiction. Non fiction that reads like fiction.

[B]

Oh, right.

[A]

And it's actually really good. It's really, really good.

[B]

So who. On the man on the ball.

[A]

Who were they soldiers for?

[B]

The British.

[A]

Yeah, but. But it's. It's not. It's written as, like, I feel like

[B]

I'd be rooting for the wrong thing.

[A]

No, no, you definitely do. And so does the author. The author is very much like. Like, at one point spoiled. A little bit of a spoiler at one point. The. Because they. Where they capsize and where they end up getting stuck on this island is in Chile, I think. And so there are some. Some Locals of natives that are, like, trying to help them. And it is. They. They. It. Because they are English and pricks.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's. The book is very much like these. This was not great. We're not so great.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I also didn't know. I think I knew, like, when you've lived in England, you can feel it's not great.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I didn't know the history behind it. I was like, oh, they're like, really historically bad.

[B]

Yeah, really bad. I don't know too much. I don't think Hamilton let me know a lot about it. About, like, the British.

[A]

And that was bad too.

[B]

Yeah, that was. But I didn't really know much about the history of, like, America and, like, how involved the British. I mean, I. Obviously I should have guessed because the white people came from somewhere, but I didn't how. It really helped me understand more of the history of America. And it just shows that maybe everything historically should be put into a rapid musical.

[A]

I think so. Everything would teach the kids so much better.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There's a lot I've learned from musical theater.

[B]

Let's put World War II and a hip hop.

[A]

Oh, I. There was a World War II musical and I went to. I don't remember what it was called. It was. I watched it because the tickets were like 10 pounds because it was being shut down. And we were 50 people in this massive theater in London. And it was like during the break, they had to beg people to stay so they could do the second half. It was one of the worst things. And everyone was trying to do that, like, transatlantic accent. And it was not work. It was so the saddest thing I've ever seen. Just these. And all the actors knew it was bad. They knew that we didn't like it and they knew they had to do it.

[B]

It must be really bad because I think I'm one of these people that even if I don't enjoy something, I don't think I would have the guts to leave.

[A]

No.

[B]

Like, I would need to stay and watch the whole thing. So how bad must that be?

[A]

Yeah, people were walking out. I was. I. I stayed because I would. I would feel horrible walking out.

[B]

And sometimes when something's really bad, it can actually be quite good. Like it for the wrong reasons.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, yeah. I think I saw the Exorcist.

[B]

Yeah, the.

[A]

The play. Oh, I loved that. All the, like, tech didn't work, so it was like some. She would, like, come crawling in and then she, like, had to, like. And then you Just saw her stand, like, very clearly. You saw her, like, hide behind something. Like, that's why they were changing the scenes. Oh, my God, that's so funny.

[B]

Did they do. Is it the Exorcist where they were sick?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Did they do that?

[A]

Yeah, but you can see. You could see that, like, the. The machine or something. Like, she, like, moves her head and then it comes out of the wall. It's meant to look real and it didn't.

[B]

That's so funny.

[A]

It was magic. Just, like, kitsch stuff. Are you. So I'm gonna assume the answer to this is yes, but do you daydream?

[B]

Do I daydream? Yes.

[A]

What's your daydream go to? What's the thing?

[B]

Oh, what's with it?

[A]

Is it like award speeches? Is it.

[B]

Oh, oh, right. Okay. Let me tell you. This is. This is my ultimate daydream, okay? Being the hero in some sort of crisis.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Like. Like, bank robbery. Me stop. Or like, you know, like, something bad happening. And me stepping up to the plate.

[A]

I love. As a good guy.

[B]

As a good. Yeah, imagine me stepping up to the plates to join the robbers. Like, yes, brothers, let's get involved.

[A]

No, but you could also be the one to go like, oh, he just called the cops.

[B]

Yeah, I could. But no, it's very severe. And I'm very involved. And I like to, like, you stop them. I like to get, like, a little injury, but not too bad, but something that shows that, you know, a little battle scar. Because, I mean, I used. When I worked in the. In the politician's office, obviously. Working in politics, it's very polarizing. People, all sides don't like you, whatever. And we did used to get a lot of angry people come to the door and whatever. But I used to sometimes, like, I'd love it if someone, like, really kicked off. Like, I'd love it if someone tried to take me. But, like, nothing too. Like, something that I could, like, defend myself and, like.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Save everyone else.

[A]

Yes. Would you. Or is it a fantasy?

[B]

You think it's just a fantasy, but I like that. Like, being on a plane. I'm like, if someone was to, like, kick off. This isn't me saying that I'd, like, stop. 9, 11. But I'd have tried. No, that's horrible. I just mean, like, I just. I don't.

[A]

Only I was there.

[B]

If only I was there. I was eight and I was busy. But I would have school. But I would have. I think. I do think I could have done something.

[A]

That's cool.

[B]

That's my danger. I like, too.

[A]

I like that.

[B]

I don't know, I just like, Is

[A]

it always in the bank? Is it a bankruptcy?

[B]

There's definitely scenarios that says I could be in a place, any scenario where there's a bad man that needs stopped. Yes, I'm gonna stop him. But, yeah, for some reason, every, like, daydream or fantasy, I have, like, always getting injured. Like, something. I get punched in the. Or something happens.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That I have to overcome.

[A]

So you do, like, the. Yeah. And they go, kim, stop. Like you're injured. You go, no, no, he's still.

[B]

And then I get like. Obviously I end up in hospital because my injuries are that severe, but I've also saved lives. Yeah.

[A]

There's flowers everywhere.

[B]

Flowers everywhere. I'm hailed a hero. There's CCTV always as well, that shows. So the news can just show.

[A]

So she wheels in a screen. That was you.

[B]

That was me. It goes viral and people talk and I'm known as, like, this hero.

[A]

But you're being really humble about it, right?

[B]

But, yeah, I'm being so, like, I don't want people.

[A]

I. I don't know.

[B]

I hate that it went viral.

[A]

Yeah. I just did what anyone would have done.

[B]

Yeah. Anyone. That's. I just did what anyone would have done. Like, anyone would have disarmed that man with the gun. That's just, like. Because that's one thing as well. I firmly believe that I could do that. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No, I've got no training or anything, but I just believe that if a guy had a gun and beat boy, like, yeah. Get out his hand.

[A]

I think so.

[B]

And, yeah, that's. Yeah, I'm very humble about it. I hate that it's. When I want to live a normal life. I hate that people call me a hero in the street. It's so exhausting. I'm just trying to get a normal life.

[A]

And they say, what went through your mind? And you're like, nothing. I just acted.

[B]

I just did what anyone would do in that situation. Like, anyone would, as I said, stop the four men from blowing up the building.

[A]

It went from one man with a gun to four men with a bomb.

[B]

Anyone would. Anyone would have known what wire it cut in the bomb.

[A]

Like, anyone would have thrown themselves on that bomb.

[B]

Yeah. And only, like, escaped by a black eye. Anyone would. Because I don't want it. Like, I want injuries, but I don't want them. Maybe life or.

[A]

No, no, no, no.

[B]

Like, I need to be realistic about this. Yeah. I've got things.

[A]

But you do need to get to the hospital. That's it.

[B]

Yeah, I need to get to the hospital. I need to either, like, crutches or, you know, as I said, maybe like a little head bandage. Black. Definitely a black eye.

[A]

Definitely a black eye.

[B]

Definitely a black eye.

[A]

And then, so after you disabled that bomb. Oh, you ruined it.

[B]

Oh, you've ruined it square in the face. But then I. I, like, break his arm. I have to watch. Yeah.

[A]

After the bomb, it's like, once he's hit you and the way you look

[B]

at him when you go, he knows he's messed up.

[A]

He should not have done that.

[B]

He's like, oh, no.

[A]

And then just, sorry, I'm sorry.

[B]

Like, I'm going to the room. And this is all captured on cctv. Can you believe it? And I. I don't want people to see this. I want them to just treat me normal. I hate going into, like, my local coffee shop and then being like, hey, Hiro, here's your free latte. And I'm like, no, guys, I'm just a normal girl.

[A]

When you. When you probably you wheel out of the hospital, they all stand on both sides of the aisle.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

THEY CLAP the surgeon who saved your life is crying. Thank God

[B]

he done surgery on my black eye.

[A]

Well, you're into surgery just to be safe.

[B]

Yeah. You've got to do surgery on this black eye or she might lose it. And. Yeah. And because it's an injury here, I've obviously got to. Because you've got to wheel out. You've got to wheel out. I hope this isn't offensive. I really hope, but I really hope it's not. But it's just part of the scene. Like, I've got to, like, wheel out because I'm gonna have to get my strength back on.

[A]

You drop kicked five bodies, so, of course your knee is slightly injured.

[B]

And more men keep getting added. The more we talk about. Yeah.

[A]

A crew of 18 robbers.

[B]

18 robbers. And I battered them all.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And saved the city. The whole city. Now the country. Fuck it, the country. I saved the country. But it's important. I don't want people to know this.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I just want to live a normal life.

[A]

Yeah. When they show you the cctv, you say, thank you so much. Is there any way we can just delete that? And they go, yeah. Oh. Oh, we have some really bad news. It's actually everywhere.

[B]

I'm like, oh, no. I'm like, guys, I just want to be a normal girl.

[A]

Are the robbers okay?

[B]

Yeah, unfortunately. Yeah. I'm like, asking about that because I'm still a human at the end of the day. And I'm like, please tell me they're okay.

[A]

And they wheel you into their hospital rooms.

[B]

That's what's happened.

[A]

And you forgive them.

[B]

I forgive them. And, like. And that's.

[A]

And when they see you, they go. And the machines go, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And I'm like, I'm not here to hurt you again.

[B]

Not here to hurt you again. I just want it. I want to make amends. And then, like, we have this beautiful, like, hug, and it heals the world.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And once again, that's caught on camera again. And I'm like, oh, how do people

[A]

keep getting this on camera with her phone.

[B]

I'm just trying to live my life. This is ridiculous. Yeah. So rest normal, I'm sure.

[A]

I'm so incredibly grateful for your honesty.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. I think that's the kind of shit that people keep for themselves.

[A]

But look, no, I think we can all agree. I think we can all. I mean, I think I'm usually more like the bad guy.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But. But I. I don't know why that would give me more satisfaction than. Than yours. It's a very specific moment that I like to fantasize about, and it's the moment where I have been caught, but I'm like, I don't understand.

[B]

Like, what.

[A]

I don't. Well, I was just in the wrong place, the wrong time. I don't know why. And then they show me, like. Like, they've nailed me. Like, there's evidence. And I go from being like, oh,

[B]

yes, you dropped that act.

[A]

Okay, okay. And then they get chills because, like, whoa. Like, whoa, you're completely different. Yeah. Because I'm such a, like, bumbling.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Can I call my mom? Okay, fine.

[A]

I've killed my mom.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There's not really a lot of background or anything happening after that, but it's the.

[B]

It's a twist.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Then they're going for aesthetics to the face drop.

[A]

And then it's the. The post, like, the interviews I do from prison.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

With, like, podcasters. Because I'm. I think. I think I like to play a sociopath.

[B]

Do you know what? Just as you mentioned, Netflix, it's a dream of mine to be interviewed in a documentary about someone. Like, not about me.

[A]

No, no, of course not. The friend of someone there.

[B]

Like, so see if it's you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That ends up. I would love to be, like, sitting there. I would love to do that. The sitting down. Like, Ready, like. And then it goes to the question, so, what did you think about Sophie?

[A]

And I'd be like, how did you meet Sophie?

[B]

And then I'd be like, you know, she always was really nice. I never saw this coming at all. She did tell me about it on the podcast. She did tell me if. And she was going out doing the podcast. But this is such a shock.

[A]

It cuts to this, and then it, like. Yeah, freezes and it goes black and white.

[B]

She literally told us everything she was gonna do. But I'm still in shock. I thought it was a bit.

[A]

You've seen the Piers Morgan interview? Murderous.

[B]

Yeah, I've seen a few of them, yeah.

[A]

It's the weirdest thing to watch that. And kind of like, I would rather talk to the murderer. Like, the murderer comes across as so much more empathetic.

[B]

Absolutely. That's what's always confusing about these things, is that there's lots of. There's lots of documentaries where it's, like, horrible people, but they do come across as. And like, oh, you're lovely. It's like, oh, you killed your full family, but you look like you would, like, keep the door open for me.

[A]

And that's about the duality of man.

[B]

Duality of man. Yeah. He has manners, but he also kills his family.

[A]

Let me double check. I haven't forgotten anything very important, I'm sure. Oh, there's so much more. Okay, that's fine. This is all fine. Oh, pay me a compliment.

[B]

Pay a compliment.

[A]

Yeah, give me a compliment.

[B]

Okay. Right. Whoa.

[A]

While you've had something for a while.

[B]

No, no, no. Because I want to. I don't want it to sound fake.

[A]

And yet.

[B]

And yet it's taking so long. No, because my initial. Do you know what was. My initial thoughts was I was gonna say, you look really well.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Really well. And then I was gonna say, you look really good. And I thought, oh, maybe because it's Valentine's Day. I was like, she might think I'm trying to, like, hit on it. Like, you know, I was like, you might find something. Panicked. Yeah, I kind of panicked. I was like, oh, I don't want to come across. But my initial compliment wants to comment you physically.

[A]

That's the best one.

[B]

Yeah. But I really. I got paranoid as a lesbian. I was like, no, don't. You're gonna sound predatory, which is what I'm going for.

[A]

So hard, isn't it, to be queer.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I think the main reason I'm alone is, like, I overthink it. I know that that would Be disgusting. Because I think in my head, I imagine a man saying it and I'm like, oh, God, no, that would be.

[B]

That's. That's what I. That's what I know I would want that. It's like, I hate when, like, I've got, like, one of my mates, specifically, who is just so free and open. Like, she's the kind of friend who would just get changed in front of you. And I get so. Because, you know, that way, it's like. Like I'm not looking at you like that, but I get worried in case I accidentally look at you and you think that I'm sitting there going, yes, here we go. You know what I mean? So. But then I like, over perform and I'm like, just looking everywhere, like. Yeah, so it's like when I was in school, I remember doing that, like in. In, like pe, like in the changing rooms. It was like always looking down and making sure that I didn't look. Don't want these people thinking I'm gay because I'm not. Like, I hate that it's a performance. It's so over conversation.

[A]

Why does she have a bag over her head?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I bet it's because she's not gay. I think. She's definitely not gay.

[B]

Definitely not gay. See the way she closed her eyes when that started again, changed. That proved to me that she's straight. Yeah. But that's what annoys me. Men would. A man would never think about this. Yeah. No, a man would be like, great, you're getting your tits out. Love it. You know what I mean? And I wish I could be. No, I don't wish I could be that. But I wish I could be less paranoid about.

[A]

Yeah, I don't know. I appreciated it.

[B]

Yeah. Well, I'm glad. Sorry. That was a mad rabbit hole.

[A]

I liked it. I liked it. And I think you're a gift to comedy.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

And you also look good. See, now I feel weird about not

[B]

saying, yeah, well, I was thinking that. I was like, yeah, so I look good.

[A]

Great. Anyways, tell people where to find all of your stuff.

[B]

You can find me on Instagram Kim Blythe comedy. Find me on TikTok at kbfilms92 and you can find me at my house. Gonna give my address out. Maybe Patreon. Patreon gets my address.

[A]

And your show. You're doing a show soon?

[B]

I'm doing a show. I'm doing one at the Glasgow Comedy Festival called Cowboy. It's my last show. You probably can't come to it. Because it's in Glasgow. You might, if you can come.

[A]

When is it?

[B]

It's on the 20th of March, so we might be in time for it.

[A]

Maybe just time. Yeah.

[B]

There's still some tickets left. If not, you can see me at the Edinburgh Fringe. And I do hope to tour this year as well. That's not figured out yet. But, yeah, I like. I'm gonna go with places I've never been. I've done a little tour last year.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I'm gonna. I never. I need to go to Wales. People keep shouting meals.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

And other little places that I've not been. And it's going to be great.

[A]

I'm excited.

[B]

What have you got coming up?

[A]

I'll tell them another time. They're tired of hearing that's out of hearing that. Thank you so much for doing this.

[B]

Thank you for having me.

[A]

And we're gonna do a little fun bit for the Patreon.

[B]

Yep. Where I will reveal my dress.

[A]

And we need to see those highlighters.

[B]

Yes. Oh, yes. I'm gonna highlight. Yes.

[A]

I mean, titties. No.

[B]

Yes. Bye.

[A]

Bye. Thank you so much for listening to that episode. If you want some sweet, sweet, sweet special extra bonus content, do go and sign up to Patreon or Substack and within the week you'll get an extra fun bonus episode. And there's so much fun. And there are so much. Did I mention fun? Go to Patreon or Substack. The links are in the show notes. And I'll see you on tour. I'll be all over the place. The Edinburgh Fringe, Soho Theater, Denmark, Sweden, Germany, Netherlands and all over the uk and more dates will be announced soon. Please sign up for my newsletter. The link is also in the show notes. And just big thank you. Thank you for subscribing. Thank you for telling people about the podcast. It's completely self produced. I don't know if I've mentioned it, but I love you very much and thank you for listening and I will speak to you again soon. Thank you so much. Bye. Here's the end jingle made by me.