Kristen Schaal in the Bunker

Summary

Sofieland: The Bunker

Host: Sofie Hagen
Guest: Kristen Schaal
Episode: Kristen Schaal in the Bunker
Date: July 21, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this inaugural episode of the “Sofieland: The Bunker” podcast, host Sofie Hagen invites acclaimed comedian Kristen Schaal to join her in an imaginary survival bunker, kickstarting the new “bunker” format. Sofie and Kristen deep-dive into the dynamics of being stuck together in isolation, exploring authenticity, conflict management, learning new skills, and the quirks that emerge below ground. The episode blends thoughtful conversation, personal reveals, and infectious humor as Sofie and Kristen roleplay their hypothetical underground coexistence.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Bunker Scenario & Initial Reactions

• Setting the Scene:
  • Listeners are invited to imagine rushing to a bunker with Sofie, after the ominous siren sounds ([09:42]).
  • Kristen shares her delight at discovering she’ll be bunking with Sofie:

    “Oh my God, this is great.” (Kristen, [10:12])

• Preparedness & Food Anxiety:
  • Sofie claims to always overprepare, imagining the bunker complete with veggies, a chicken, and potentially a goat or cow ([11:01]-[11:35]).
  • Kristen confesses food is a major stressor for her, expressing disappointment at the prospect of only having frozen produce.

    “No, oh my God, I’m already... gross.” (Kristen, [11:58])

• Claustrophobia & Comfort:
  • Kristen admits she’d need some alone time to adjust:

    “Just let me be alone for like, just an hour... calm my mind... then I’m going to get really cozy about the bunker.” (Kristen, [14:27])

  • Suggestion to hang art and “pretend windows” to make the space comforting ([15:15]).

Personality Types & Communication

• Conflict & Emotional Management:
  • Kristen identifies herself as an “open book”—she feels everything out loud and quickly, while Sofie prefers introspection and journaling before sharing her feelings ([16:10]-[16:41]).
  • Sofie summarizes her approach as:

    “A lot of journaling and self figuring out, and then I will come to you and explain logically what I’m feeling, why I’m feeling it, and what I need now.” (Sofie, [16:52])

• Handwriting Tangent:
  • Sofie and Kristen swap left/right-handedness trivia, leading to a discussion on handwriting analysis, people-pleasing, and adaptability ([17:05]-[17:47]).

Learning & Bunker Pastimes

• Language Lessons as Entertainment:
  • Kristen requests Danish lessons; both fantasize about using the time to become bilingual or learn character-based languages like Japanese or Mandarin ([18:04]-[20:51]).

    “I would ask if you would be so kind in the bunker to teach me Danish.” (Kristen, [18:04])

• Gossip & Conversation Limits:
  • The guests reflect on the absence of gossip during COVID quarantine, and debate what topics could fill endless bunker hours.
  • They agree on the importance of honest meta-communication and developing code words for emotional boundaries during confrontation:

    “We gotta have lots of code words.” (Kristen, [23:06]) “Like, I’m in the orange zone now, so you gotta back off.” (Sofie, [23:43])

Authenticity, Boundaries, and Bunkermate Dynamics

• Confrontation Stories:
  • Kristen relates a recent story about confronting a phone user in a cinema, balancing politeness and assertiveness, and acknowledges her own aversion to confrontation ([25:19]-[28:25]).
• The Real Self in Confinement:
  • Kristen muses on being “the real you” after time together, citing parenthood as a driver for her own self-reflection and adaptability ([30:42]-[31:52]).
  • Both discuss learning to admit mistakes and the importance of graciously owning when one is right or wrong ([32:10]-[36:39]).
• Passive Aggression & Family Dynamics:
  • Sofie recognizes how passive-aggressive communication is normalized in her family, especially around her niece ([34:03]-[34:40]).

Entertainment Choices in the Bunker

• Books, Music, and No Internet:
  • No internet access is agreed upon as a benefit for focus and connection, with a proposed fax system for limited outside contact ([37:03]-[38:15]).
• Handwriting & Creativity:
  • Kristen shares her preference for blank, perforated notebooks and shows off her handwriting ([39:05]-[40:19]).
• Cartoons vs. Action Films:
  • Kristen reflects on how her career in voice acting changed her perspective on animation, despite initially sharing Sofie’s skepticism ([41:01]-[42:16]).

    “Then I started making a living doing voices for cartoons. So then I really... changed my perspective.” (Kristen, [41:58])

Survival Skills & Apocalyptic Experience

• Lessons from Last Man on Earth:
  • Kristen recounts eating real crickets on set and learning to make “raisin balls” in her TV role ([42:24]-[44:08]).
  • She requests Sofie remove cricket antennae in their mutual meals:

    “If you could just pop those antennas off, I’d really appreciate it.” (Kristen, [43:41])

• Who’s the Better Bunkermate—Sofie or Will Forte?
  • Kristen teasingly debates choosing between co-star Will Forte and Sofie, reflecting on potential awkwardness and “sexual tension” in either scenario ([44:31]-[45:58]).
  • Discussion segues into both comedians’ books about sex (Kristen’s is about having sex, Sofie’s about not having sex), joking about reading each other's work for “yin-yang” guidance ([46:45]-[47:04]).

Setting Boundaries & Coping with Annoyance

• Film Preferences:
  • Kristen can’t handle horror films, which might be problematic if Sofie tries to watch them during bunker life ([47:16]-[48:43]).
• Conflict Navigation:
  • Sofie expresses anxiety over people being annoyed with her, and both discuss dealing with frustration, bickering, and the need for emotionally mature arguments ([24:31]-[30:27]).
  • Kristen reassures Sofie about appropriate boundary-setting, giving her “snap approval” in certain circumstances ([57:05]).

Friendship, Performance, and Life After the Bunker

• Kristen’s New Show 'The Legend of Crystal Shell':
  • Kristen describes her musical about an isolated centaur, mixing whimsy and quarantine metaphors; she details the creative process and her custom-made centaur costume ([49:58]-[53:02]).

    “It’s about, like, a sheltered, isolated centaur... at some point... she’s going to do the Swan Lake ballet for everyone.” (Kristen, [49:58])

• Comedian Community & Festival Experiences:
  • Both reminisce about festival camaraderie in Australia and Edinburgh, and how group chemistry can shift with each event ([55:10]-[56:24]).
• The Future Outside the Bunker:
  • Softly, the pair ponder whether they’ll stay in touch after the bunker, with playful, mock-jealous banter about returning to old lives and families, and agree Sofie could become an honorary aunt to Kristen’s child ([58:40]-[61:02]).

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• “You hear the siren… it means you have to rush to the bunker... this folder has been gathering dust for years. It’s the folder that tells you who you’ll be sharing the bunker with.” (Sofie, [09:46])
• “Just let me be alone for like, just an hour... calm my mind... I really do feel that I’ll start to get really cozy about the bunker.” (Kristen, [14:27])
• “I’m a squeaky wheel. I don’t hold anything in. That’s why I’m like, give me a moment, Sophie, because, like, I will. There’s no filter.” (Kristen, [16:16])
• “I try not to be [passive aggressive]... but I discover it before I do it. Like passive aggressiveness is how we talk in my family.” (Sofie, [34:03])
• “No internet.” (Sofie, [37:22])
• “Then I started making a living doing voices for cartoons. So then I really... changed my perspective.” (Kristen, [41:58])
• “I ate real crickets. And then I looked over down the table, I saw that my castmates were eating, like, yummy prunes that were shaped like crickets.” (Kristen, [42:49])
• “If you could just pop those antennas off, I’d really appreciate it.” (Kristen, [43:41])
• “Your show is called The Legend of Crystal Shell, and you’ll be in Edinburgh and in London.” (Sofie, [53:31])
• “I think you’re like a life coach.” (Kristen to Sofie, [36:28])

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Important Timestamps

• [09:42] — Kristen’s first reaction to the bunker scenario.
• [14:27] — Kristen’s strategy for coping with anxiety in small spaces.
• [16:10]-[16:52] — Discussion of how they process and share feelings.
• [18:04]-[20:51] — Language learning ambitions and what skills to pick up in the bunker.
• [23:06]-[23:54] — Bunker code words and emotional boundaries.
• [25:19]-[28:25] — Kristen’s story about confrontation at the movie theatre.
• [34:03]-[34:40] — Passive aggressiveness and family communication.
• [37:22] — Decision: No internet in the bunker.
• [41:58] — Kristen talks about her voice acting changing her mind about animation.
• [42:24]-[44:08] — Kristen discusses TV show "Last Man on Earth" and eating crickets.
• [46:45]-[47:04] — The yin-yang of Kristen's and Sofie’s books about sex.
• [49:58]-[53:02] — Kristen previews her new musical show, “The Legend of Crystal Shell.”
• [55:10]-[56:24] — Comedy festival camaraderie and group dynamics.
• [58:40]-[61:02] — Contemplations about post-bunker friendship and Kristen’s family.

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Tone & Takeaways

The conversation is playful, honest, and frequently self-deprecating, punctuated by therapeutic reflection and moments of pure silliness. Sofie and Kristen explore what it truly means to be “stuck” with another person, how to maintain adult boundaries, and the surprising comfort that can come from imagined crisis. The episode is rich in offbeat humor, relatable quirks, and gentle encouragement to embrace both conflict and kinship—even when trapped beneath the surface.

For listeners:
Whether you’re a fan of either comedian, or simply curious about human nature under pressure, this episode is a thoughtful and delightful escape into the “what-ifs” of friendship, survival, and authenticity. And yes — there are healthy snacks, handwritten letters, and absolutely no internet allowed.

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Bonus Content Reminder:
For those interested, the Patreon/Substack bonus episode reveals what Kristen packed for their time in the bunker—albums, books, and movies for both herself and Sofie.

Transcript

[A]

Welcome to the Bunker. I'm gonna be honest with you, I have tried to do this intro a million times, and I keep restarting it. I think it's because there's a lot of nerves. It's the first one. This is the first bunker episode that you'll be hearing. The first one I'll be publishing. Listen, I've podcasted since. I mean, it's over a decade. It's, I want to say, 12, 13, 14 years. And there's been a lot of different formats, a lot of different co hosts, a lot of different angles. I have been in different places of my life and periods. And then this podcast, Sophie Land, started. In reality, it started about six months ago where it was just a chat, just me having a chat with people. And Sophie Land was like a symbol, a symbol of, hey, we're going far away from. From. From civilization. We're going far away from. From the world that's in a. In a tricky place right now, and things are a bit hard and we just want to escape. But it didn't feel right. And then I realized, ah, Sophie Land was never a land. Sophie Land. It's a bunker. I love bunkers. I love the idea of bunkers. I make bunkers in the Sims all the time. And now I want to invite people into my bunker and I want to know how we get along. I think it is an interesting way to get to know someone. Imagine being stuck in a bunker with a stranger, with a friend, with an acquaintance, with someone you look up to. How long before you fall apart? How long before they fall apart? You're going to end up seeing your true selves. And that is if there is one thing all. All of my podcasts over the decade have been about, it has been about some kind of authenticity, some kind of truth, some kind of, hey, let's go below the surface. Oh, how symbolic. We're now below the surface in a bunker, below the surface of the humans in the bunker. Wow. Okay. Yeah, now I'm into this. My first bunker mate is going to be Kristen Scholler. Bloody Kristen Shaw. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Not only the nicest person, the funniest person, I. I couldn't believe she said yes. And then once I spoke to her, I was like, oh, yeah, of course she said yes. She's. She's so nice. She's just so nice and so funny. But I recorded that one as the fourth bunker podcast. So I've. At the point of talking to Kristen, I'd already recorded three, so I'm a bit more comfortable in the bunker world and I could answer questions a bit easier in this one. That's why when you listen to the third episode, I'm. I have a. I don't know the answers to a lot of the questions. So the first with listen, we're finding our footing, we're finding our, we're finding out what's happening in the bunker as we go along. And so you're hearing the fourth recorded one first and, and I just love it so much. And I love Kristen Sch so much. She is doing a show in. She's doing it at the end of Fringe, which is almost sold out, so you should go and get tickets for that immediately. But then she's also doing the show in London on 17 August at the Roundhouse and there are still tickets left. And she describes this show in the episode I cannot wait. I'm so happy I got tickets for Edinburgh because it just sounds incredible. I think she should be experienced live. She's such a. Oh, she's so fascinating. So please go and see her and see her show and of course listen to this episode first and then go and buy tickets and see her show. She is someone based on this conversation. Yeah, I'd. I'd be in a bunker with her and I will be in a bunker with her throughout this episode. Before I let you listen to it, I just quickly want to say part of this new format, the bunker format, is that we're changing the bonus episodes too. And it is probably my favorite thing about this new format is the bonus episodes. It's so good that I considered for a while if that if the bonus episode should be the main episodes, but I think it makes sense for what it is. So when Kristen Scholl has. Has gotten the information that she is going to be in a bunker with me, she packed a bag. She. She very quickly packed a bag and she packed. She. Because she didn't know, she didn't know if I was going to be near the bunker when, when the siren went off. So she wanted to. She's nice. She wanted to pack something for me and something for her. So she packed an album for me and an album for her, a book for me and a book for her and a movie for me and a movie for her. And in the bonus episode we will be uncovering what she's packed. I've asked this. Of all the guests, I've gotten the most incredible and interesting lists of things. I have been watching movies. I have been reading books and listening to albums that I would never otherwise have consumed or even known about. Which is a gift. What, what an unbelievable gift to get. And her choices in particular were mindboggling and interesting and fun. And I want you to have those recommendations. So if you sign up for Patreon and or substack, you will get not only the videoed conversation, but I've written it down. I've written it out so you could just read it if you don't want to have to listen to or watch a whole 15, 20 minute episode, extra episode. I've just written it down so you can scroll and figure out which books, which albums and I've linked the ones I could link and, and you, it you really. I've done four episodes now and even though you haven't, you don't have access to them yet. They're coming out. You really get to know someone. You really get to know someone. And them having to pick for someone they either don't know at all or someone they kind of know. It's just my favorite thing. So if you sign up for Patreon or substack, you get two things. One, you get to contribute to the making of this podcast. I don't know if you can tell, but it is very, very self produced. Today I have been in like a. Not to let you see behind the curtain. I've been to like the build builder, building market, whatever you call it, to buy like clamps, I think they're called, to hang up this woolen throw behind me so it looks bunkerish. You know, I'll be editing all of this myself. I'm editing all the episodes. I'm editing everything. It is an incredible amount of work. But I love this so much and I, I'm in love with this format and I'm going to get like the best, I'm already getting the best guests, but I'm going to get just really the best guests. And you're helping with that by supporting it with however much you want to support it with a month, five pounds, three pounds, ten pounds. And then you also get the bonus episodes every other week, making it a weekly podcast. Every other week is the main episode and then every other week are the bonus episodes. So it will become a weekly podcast for you if you sign up. And then you get just six incredible recommendations from some of the coolest, funniest, nicest people ever and you will be introduced to different worlds. Some of the books I've read, oh my God, they've just expanded my life. How nice. I'm. I'M excited. I'm happy about this. I hope you will be too. The only other thing I want to say before I let you listen to my or watch my chat with Kristen Shaw because if you are listening to this, it's, it's on YouTube by the way, and you can watch it there. I will be at the Edinburgh Festival for all of August. This is 2026 in case you're listening in the future. I will then be at the Soho Theater in November. I might. This has not been announced yet when I am talking to you, but I feel like it might maybe be announced by the time you listen. I'm going to the Alderberg Alderberg Comedy Festival in October. So look up on my website to see if the tickets are out for that yet. I will then be next year with my new. This is my new show. I think some of this is my fault. It's called which I love so much. I'll be in Copenhagen, UN or who's Rotterdam, Berlin, Malmu, Judor and Stockholm in Sweden. I've sold like minus tickets there, so please come to those. Then I'll be all over the uk. Lester leads Sheffield, Selby, Newcastle, Edinburgh, Glasgow, Abedine, Birmingham, Manchester, Liverpool, Reading, Brighton, Cambridge, London and Exeter. And we're still adding dates probably, hopefully, hopefully soon. Bristol and Cardiff and more. Please come because I would love to see you. And I'm going, I think I, I think I'll have pins. You can get pins that say fun things from the show. Spoiler alert, reveal. You heard it here first. Okay. Now please enjoy my conversation with my new bunker mate, Kristen Scholl. Kristen Schaal. I'm going to set the scene so you're at home and then you hear the siren. And you know what the siren means? It means you have to rush to the bunker. So you reach out.

[B]

I've heard it before, the siren before.

[A]

In this world, you know what the siren means because you've been prepared in this world. You grab the folder. This folder has been gathering dust for years. It's the folder that tells you who you'll be sharing the bunker with. And now you can finally open it and you see that it's Danish stand up comedian Sophie Hagen.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I squeal.

[B]

And I squeal.

[A]

I'm so happy to hear that.

[B]

The light. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, good. It's a good squeal.

[B]

Oh, my God, this is great. Okay.

[A]

You then rush to the bunker, right? You quickly rush to the bunker and then we don't know how long we'll be stuck Together, underground.

[B]

At least 24 hours till the radiation dissipates, right?

[A]

24 hours, 24 days, 24 years.

[B]

Why not? I mean, it sounds like things are pretty bad.

[A]

They're bad enough for the Bunga situation.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So how do you. How would you feel in that moment? Are you. Do you think you. You'd be good in a bunker situation?

[B]

So the. The moment is I've. We've just both arrived.

[A]

Yeah, I'm there a few minutes before you. How come I was out there?

[B]

Closer to the bunker?

[A]

Yeah, I lived closer to the bunker. Yeah, I was down. I was doing. I was running errands.

[B]

You. Oh, my God. What did you get? What were you doing?

[A]

Oh, I got us a bunch of groceries. I mean, I didn't know that the bunker was gonna happen, but I'm always prepared. I always over prepare, so I think I always grab a few snacks just in case. The siren roll.

[B]

Did you get any produce?

[A]

No, but I think we have produce in the bunker. We have produce in the bunker? Yes. So I think. And this is based on me having built it in the sims. I think we have like one little room that's like vegetables. I think we have a chicken and then either a goat or a cow.

[B]

Okay, so we're using like artificial light to grow the vegetables.

[A]

Yes, so we have that. Were you nervous about the food situation?

[B]

Always, Always. But I was hoping that you got like, some raspberries and apples and we could just like have like one more like, crunch, crunch, you know?

[A]

But you be okay with frozen any produce?

[B]

No. Oh, my God, I'm already. Gross.

[A]

Sorry.

[B]

I'm stressed. No, I'm a little stressed.

[A]

It's very early to be this stressed.

[B]

You know, I could have like. It's just nice that you're even gonna share. Right. Thank you. I'm coming with nothing but a dusty folder that I wasted my time opening to read when I should have just grabbed some stuff from the fridge.

[A]

That's true. I actually think you're in a. I mean, you're in the worst situation here because. Well, I don't know how you feel about this, but I get so worried when people know who I am and I don't know them. Like, I feel like they. They've seen me more than I've seen me. So they probably know something about me that I don't know and that makes me feel really uncomfortable. So I'm happy. I'm in the bunker with Kristen Scholl. I've seen her on television. You don't know me at All. I could be the worst.

[B]

No, I've seen your stand up, too, and you are very sweet. Yeah, I watched it, but I watched it on YouTube and it. You know what? Every time you get to a really crushing punchline because you're so smart and so funny, it cuts to commercial, like, right after the setup. And then. And it's weird commercials, too. It's like, do you have athlete's foot? You gotta stop it right now. And I'm like, oh, my God, the rhythm. They just like. Like the robot didn't understand the rhythm of comedy. Like, at least cut on a release, you know, like, after the punchline. Let people laugh into the ad. They might even buy the. The athlete's foot medicine.

[A]

You know, to be fair, I do the same on stage.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Which I should stop doing. This is excellent advice, actually.

[B]

Okay, Sophie. So we're both kind of, like, delightful, if I admit, if I may be so bold about myself. Delightful, funny people.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But we are in a bunker. So again, it's like, when do we drop the facade? Like, what are. What's funny about the bunker? Like, how big is the bunker? I mean, without any windows. I'm freaking out.

[A]

Yeah, you're not good with small spaces.

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay, that's going to be a little bit of a problem. How do I. How can I make it? Because I'll be wanting you to feel good, of course. So how do I. Yeah, how does one make you feel better and calm you down? Would it help if we played some games?

[B]

I think you just need to let me be alone for, like, me, just an hour to just to, like, take in the situation, calm my mind, and also just like. Yeah, just try to be, like, sane. Take a deep breath. Don't react too fast. Yeah. And then I think after a while, I'm going to be. I mean, I really do feel that I'll start to get really cozy about the bunker. And when it's, like, time to go, I'll be like, no, you know I'm gonna like it. I do wish there was a window. Although I don't think we'll like what we see outside. I wonder if we could have, like, a pretend window.

[A]

We can have art. We have a lot of art down there because they needed a place to store all the fancy art. So I feel like we get the art that has, like, the nature pictures of nature.

[B]

Okay. And then I would, like, make some curtains around it. So it would just be like, trick me to be like, oh, look at all this.

[A]

And then we. And we pull the curtains at night.

[B]

Yeah. Or we make cozy.

[A]

We can paint a night picture and then we put that up at night. I think that will help with our circadian rhythms.

[B]

Yes, it would. And really good word. Really good.

[A]

I shouldn't have said it with a question mark. It would have been so much more impressive.

[B]

No, the fact that you had to search for it and it came perfectly out of your mouth made it more impressive than if you're like someone who drops circadian like every other day. I would be like, eh. But you, like, searched it in the ether.

[A]

Do you think, are you someone who freaks out out loud or do you freak out internally?

[B]

Oh, no, I'm a squeaky wheel. I don't hold anything in. That's why I'm like, give me a moment, Sophie, because, like, I. I will. There's no filter. It all comes out.

[A]

Yeah, that feels safe to me.

[B]

What about you, though?

[A]

I first have to figure out what I'm feeling. I need alone time for that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But then I do a lot of journaling and self figuring out and then I will come to you and explain logically what I'm feeling, why I'm feeling it, and what I need now.

[B]

Oh, wow, that's really nice.

[A]

So there's a lot of filters, but

[B]

it looks like a lot of therapy. That's amazing.

[A]

Yes. This is 10 therapists, over 15 years of work.

[B]

Are you left handed or right handed?

[A]

Right.

[B]

Okay. Just wondering. I don't know, I was just imagining you journaling. I'm left handed.

[A]

Oh, really? I don't know. I was about to say that's good. As if we.

[B]

Yeah. That we could both write on opposite sides.

[A]

I don't think that was going to be the issue.

[B]

Do you have good handwriting?

[A]

Do you know what? I like it, but I feel, you know, when they have those people who can analyze handwriting and then find out if you're a serial killer and stuff.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I can change mine. Like, I can just if I want to. I'm like, now my A's are going to look like this and then I just do that forever. And I feel like that's probably a bad sign.

[B]

Well, you're a people pleaser, Sophie. Are you.

[A]

You already get me so well. This is incredible.

[B]

Do you speak two languages? Oh, my. Okay, so is it Danish or.

[A]

Danish and English, I'd hope.

[B]

Okay, so what? I would. What? I would ask if you would be so kind in the bunker to teach me Danish. We. I would love it.

[A]

So fun. Yeah, I would love that. It's a very hard Language to learn. But we have time. We have essentially 24 years.

[B]

I know. And I've never been bilingual and I've always been so envious of everybody who is. It make me so happy.

[A]

But would Danish be your preferred language or would you have. Is there a cooler language? Yeah, I feel like we could also just read a French dictionary.

[B]

But it would be so great. Well, after you. You could teach me Danish and you could start learning French and then you could teach me French.

[A]

Yeah, like a train of. I mean, I don't want to learn French, though. I really want to speak Russian.

[B]

Oh, why?

[A]

Because it's such a. I studied it for six months at uni and never showed up when I went there. But it's as far as I understand. It's a word that's very much like you. You figure it out. So they'll have like three words, and then you have to guess the context because they're like. Well, if someone says. I think the. The. The example was et Dom. And that could mean, is he home? He is home. He's inside the house. He's outside the house. Where is he inside the house? It could mean a bunch of different things, but the idea is you would know the context if you're having the conversation. So there's not all those little extra words around it, which I think is really fun. It's a very no bullshit kind of language.

[B]

It's. It's economical and it. Right. And it leaves. Yeah. The rest is like circumstance.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like that.

[B]

I would, I would. There's a lot I want to learn. I think I would love to learn, like, you know, either Japanese or Mandarin. One of those with the characters. Well, you have a different alpha. Do you have a different Alphabet in Danish?

[A]

We have three extra letters that aren't in the English one. But I'll teach you those quicks.

[B]

Otherwise we would write those above the door probably. So I can always see, but I would. Yeah, I want to learn characters. Yeah. I think. And I might be making this up, but I think that the characters. Not every. Not every country, but possibly Japan and China, maybe not Korea, I don't know. But like share the characters where they have different languages, but if they go to each other's countries and they're like traveling on the subway, the characters mean the same. Oh, wow. I could be making that up.

[A]

Well, we'll have no way of checking, so I'll accept that as a fact because I think that's very sweet and very like community of the world.

[B]

What a Lovely world.

[A]

That would be.

[B]

Yes, yes. That's what I. I mean we want everyone to be unique, but also we want to be able to chat.

[A]

Yes, yes. Is there, is there a topic in the bunker? Like if we ever run out of things to talk about. What. What could you talk about forever?

[B]

Oh, I mean, you know, I wish we had like someone and maybe we could find someone that we could just really gossip about. But I think it would get really sad. Like that was the thing like during COVID when everyone was in quarantine and I remember like sometimes I could pull my husband aside and maybe we could have a little goss. Well, I would have a one sided goss. Cause he's very pure hearted and doesn't talk about anybody else. But it's like fun and interesting and light and stupid and it's just like, you know, so I was like, oh, there's no one. We haven't seen any people so we can just gossip about each other, I guess.

[A]

Yeah. No one was doing anything spectacular. No one was doing anything because they were all inside. So people just. It was really hard for people to cheat and stuff. Which, I mean they, they still found a way. But yeah, they couldn't do all the really exciting stuff.

[B]

Like I think I would. I think I would probably want to just. I guess I. I guess I would just go. We could just. I don't know if there's. I can't think of one thing that I would want to talk about forever. I think we would have fun. Like we could just talk about like the history of the world forever. We could talk about each like historic figure and how they led us to this place that we're in the bunker. I mean, I have a feeling we're gonna be there because of President Trump, who sucks. I'll probably wanna talk about him, but I think it always makes me sad to say his name. But he's gonna come up. He's gonna come up, isn't he? No.

[A]

He probably will.

[B]

Yeah, we'll probably only talk about him for like 20 minutes. I think we should set limits on each topic. You know, I. We gotta be honest with each other, Sophie. Like, this is getting annoying and we could even be like, I'm not sure why, I'm just getting. Oh, I know it's cause we're together alone in this bunker and I'm sick of you talking about this and I'm about to bicker with you like we've been married for 50 years and I don't want to do it. Like we gotta have lots of code words.

[A]

Yeah. Like, I'm in the orange zone now, so you gotta back off. And then otherwise I become red. Like, that kind of, like, I'm in my safe zone right now, so you can't talk to me. That kind of stuff. Therapy talk.

[B]

I think. So. I. I mean, we all come up with our own, like, unique isms. Like. Or whatever. Like, you could be like, oh, like. Like chat. Or, like, chicken nugget. And I'm like, oh, my God, I'm sorry. Chicken nugget. And that'd be about the time when I said a chicken nugget was this and you said it wasn't. And it turned out that both of us were wrong and it didn't matter, but we were mad at each other for a week. So with we feel that coming up, we could be like, chicken nugget. Chicken nugget, Sophie. And then that we both have agreed to, like, back off because we don't want to go back to that place.

[A]

I. That's the idea of being angry with some. No, that's not true. The idea of someone else being angry with me for a week is terrifying. I think I would change literally anything about myself to make that not happen.

[B]

I know, right? It's, like, terrifying. It is kind of scary when people are mad at you, but it doesn't kill you.

[A]

That is true. Well, it could. You could literally kill me in the bunker.

[B]

I wouldn't do that.

[A]

I promise.

[B]

I'm not killer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I will never kill you in the bunk. I will never. I'll keep you healthy, I'll keep you alive, and hopefully I'll keep you sane. But, you know, again, obviously, I like to talk, so. And. And you're stuck.

[A]

Are you good at confrontation? Like, are you. It seems to me like you're good at setting boundaries and being honest and upfront.

[B]

Yeah, I hate confrontation more than anything in my life as well. Like, it makes me so scared. I usually just, like, do everything to avoid it. Cow. Especially strangers and on the street or whatever. But the older I get sometimes. Like, the other day we were watching Minions vs Monsters, which is a movie. I don't know if you guys got it yet. If, you know, like, the Despicable Me franchise.

[A]

It's like a children's thing, right?

[B]

It's. It's children's, but it's everybody. It's for everybody. Okay. You can't bring your kids. You can bring your kids if you want. And it's an animated show. Edit movie. But. And this keeps happening to Me in movie theaters where they'll make an announcement. Do not text. Don't post. Like. Like, don't turn your fucking phones on. Sorry about the F bomb. And every. Without fail, every movie, because I always sit in the back, someone in a row in front of me is whipping it out, and it's so distracting. Like, how can you not think you're lit up square is not in the dark. Theater is something that we can't. All our eyes are all drawn to it. So this dad in front of me, I could see him answering some texts. And I was like, I'm going to let it pass. And also, I was. My hormones are raging. Like, I don't know where I'm at with the cycles, but, you know, if I'm mid menopause or about to get into. I don't know what's happening. But I could feel. I. I could feel I was emotional. But anyways, I was just like, okay, maybe like, there's an emergency. And he's like, I'll beat you at the hospital after Minions versus Macho. Like, whatever. Like, whatever, Let it pass. You know, I don't want to cause a scene. Then a few minutes goes by. I don't know. I think people sincerely don't realize they're doing this because the phones are so addictive. He just pulls it out again and he's just kind of scrolling around. Okay, that's it. And I. Even in the back, I said, I was like, iPhone, iPhone. You know, he didn't hear me. And my husband, who's like, oh, super anti confrontation. Sweet man, was just like, do you want to trade seats with me? Because I can't see it. You want to trade seats with me? And I'm like, hold on. And I've never done. And I was ready because, you know, in America, like, there's stories of people shooting other people with guns in theaters because it's just such a. We just really have our shit together. So I'm like, okay, I don't care. I got up, he was on the aisle seat. I went right up. I, like, squatted down. I was like, excuse me, sir. He had to look up from his phone. And I was like, your phone is distracting me from the movie. And he was so sweet. He's like, oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry. Oh, sorry, sorry. You know, like, I think he just, like, kind of got where he was. Yeah, no, no. It's like a zombie. It's like a little zombie machine. So he put it away and I went back to my Seat. And I was like, yeah. Why was I talking? See, this is what we're gonna. It's gonna happen in the bunker.

[A]

This is inspiration. It was about confrontation, and this was inspirational.

[B]

So I did it. I did it, and I was glad, and I didn't. And I was like, I was. I was. I was more angry in that moment than I would have been if he yelled at me. Like, whatever I could imagine his reaction would be was. Couldn't be more than what I was feeling. So, like, yeah, I got to do it.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm scared of. I. I'm scared of what my reaction would be because I feel so upset when people do it, because I just feel like they must know and they are doing it intentionally.

[B]

Right.

[A]

To harm me.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I don't. I don't feel like I could do what you do of just going, hi, excuse me. I was just wondering. I. I would be like, who raised you?

[B]

I know.

[A]

That's too aggressive. You can't do that to strangers because they don't know. They don't know.

[B]

They. They might not know who raised them. You know what I mean? Like, you don't know their story. I was just like. Also, the rules had been stiff stated at the beginning of the film. Okay. The societal norm of what we do in the theater has all been agreed upon. Okay. So I felt like I. I was like, I could get a manager if he didn't. You know what I mean? Like, I could start to do. But he was also there with his little kids, so I felt a little more safe.

[A]

And also, he's watching Minions.

[B]

Yeah. Which is. I recommend all of those. All the movies are good.

[A]

All movies are good.

[B]

All of the Minions.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Despicable Me. If you're like, I don't know what your tastes are, Sophie. Well, we're gonna get into it.

[A]

We're gonna get into that in the special, special, ultra special bonus episode. I have so much to say about that. I'm very excited about that. Oh, but I really like this. I feel like. I feel like we would have healthy arguments. If we do end up bickering, which we probably will. I feel like we could do it in, like, an empathetic way. I don't think I would snap and be mean.

[B]

Yeah, you might. I mean, because you think you. Like. I'm worried that you're gonna get to know me and be like, ugh, she seems so fun and cool and, like. But the real her stuck in a room.

[A]

Who is the real you?

[B]

I guess I am like every other person who doubts that they're cool, who thinks. I don't know if you have this, but I've noticed that like, and I have an eight year. When you have a kid, it also really makes you have to self reflect all the time, you know, because you're raising a human and you're like, oh, I'm a human. And I don't. Oh, no. And I. And my. I've realized that my default in life, for better or worse is. And this might help in the bunker is that I'm like, well, I'm probably wrong. So I'm sorry. Like, I'm not one of those people who doubles down and be like, I knew the way I think. I'm like, well, I messed up. Oh, I probably got it wrong. And on one hand it's good because it gives me the grace to learn how to do it better. But on the other hand, I wonder if I am getting it wrong a little too much.

[A]

But isn't that. It's so much more important, like when you are getting things. Because there are a lot of. Everyone gets it wrong, but it depends on how you then handle it. And I'm a little. I do. I know I do get it wrong sometimes, but I also think people underestimate how much I get it right.

[B]

Oh, my God, Sophie, is that wrong?

[A]

Is that unhealthy?

[B]

No, no. I thought that was really like brave and bold of you to say. I think you need to.

[A]

It's a kind reaction. You might be more annoyed after a couple of years in the bunker when I'm insisting on how much I'm right about things.

[B]

So you will. You'll be like, okay, that's new. I could be. I could seem like kind of like really like, oh, what's the. What's the word? When people are

[A]

circadian.

[B]

Okay, you got that right. Where you're def. Defensive, but in a nice way. Oh, shoot. In any case. Oh, sorry. I got this mic. I did the Stewart. I did another comedians on Comedian and he was disappointed that I didn't have this set up on a table. I was holding it like this. And not only that, but then I have like a zit. I have zits. Maybe in the bunker it'll clear up. But I like, I scratched my zit and it started bleeding and I was like, I was like. And I was like, it's like no denying. And he had to just like. I was like, I'm bleeding. Like, I scratched his zit on my face. He's like, it's not that bad.

[A]

Yeah, he's very British. He will never tell you how much he's panicking on the inside.

[B]

Oh, I forgot. Anyways, but I love that you said that people underestimate how right you are and, and when do they find out that you're right? I guess is the question. Like after they've underestimated you. Passive aggressive was the word I was trying to find.

[A]

I try not to be. I try not to be. But I have a niece now, a two year old niece, and I am discovering how much that is the language, but I discover it before I do it. Like passive aggressiveness is how we talk in my family. So I keep having to go, oh, oh, no, wait. What's the real way of saying this? Like how, how can I express the feeling instead of pretending I'm above it somehow? So I'm learning on the, on the way of, of phrasing it around the baby. At least with, with adults it's a bit harder to, to control.

[B]

Yeah, but like when you're like, oh, no, cheese is the best way to make that, and they're like, I think it might be pastrami. And then it's like, do it wrong or do you keep fighting for the right answer or whatever, you know what I mean?

[A]

I try. I try. It depends on what it is. It depends. And I do like to wait, lie in wait, and then just see it happen in front of my eyes and then go, huh, that's funny, isn't it? How that thing just collapsed after you refused to use the screw that you know, the directions told you to use, that I then told you to use. That's funny, isn't it? That's how interesting. If only, if only someone had told

[B]

you, I love it. And then what happens? Does the other person, do they get more mad or. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

It somehow doesn't make people like me more. They never go, do you know what? You're right. They always go, oh, I knew you'd say that. Yeah, well, if you knew I'd say it, then maybe you should have listened to Sophie.

[B]

I can tell you that I would say you were right because, you know, because I'm rolling over. I'm rolling over in the bunker.

[A]

I'm learning something about myself I don't like. You're like. You're like a mirror that makes me see myself in a. In a.

[B]

Are you kidding? Are you kidding? Sophie? You know what I'm learning is I don't know if I like the people you surrounded yourself with that they need to like, take. Stop taking you for Granted, Obviously.

[A]

You know what? I'm going to send some texts right

[B]

now and just burn it all down, girl. Start over.

[A]

Do you know what? They haven't appreciated me enough, actually. I'm going to. I'm going to clip this and send it to them the next time I tell them something where I'm right.

[B]

Yeah. Do it.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

You're welcome. I think you're like a life coach.

[A]

I'm so happy with this. This is not good for me. I'm going to leave that bunker being like, the most arrogant person in the world.

[B]

No, you're going to be confident.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're going to be confident. And you want. And you want friends who are like, sophie knows those shit. You know what I mean?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

That's what you want.

[A]

And I feel like I do. But I'm also man enough to admit when I don't know something. And that's also important.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'll happily say. Oh, I don't know the answer to that question.

[B]

Me too.

[A]

Yeah. And then we'll learn together.

[B]

Yeah. Well, we have skills.

[A]

Healthy. Yes. So we will have. But we don't know until we get there. Which books. So we'll have movies, books and albums. But we don't know until we get there. That's why. For the bonus episode, you've packed, just to be sure. But there will be books, and I feel like they'll be good.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I feel like we get some good ones.

[B]

But no Internet.

[A]

No.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

No. And isn't that a little bit nice?

[B]

Oh, it's a thousand percent nice. If there was Internet, we would be destroyed. Yeah, we would be destroyed.

[A]

We'd turn it off, wouldn't we?

[B]

Yeah. Oh, my God. Would we? Yeah, because we just, like, have to see all our dead relatives, I guess. I mean, are we the last two people or.

[A]

No, I think everyone. We, like, got into other bunkers. And I've been thinking a lot about this today. I think there's like a fax system that works for like an hour a day so we can fax our loved ones and receive, like, letters and stuff. So we're in contact with them, but it's not constant because then I feel like I'd feel left out if you were just constantly talking to other.

[B]

Talking to my. To my husband and daughter.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

I'm still with Sophie. How old's Ruby now? She's. She just turned 13. Huh. Tell her Baba loves her.

[A]

Yeah. That would annoy me.

[B]

Of course. I'd just be like, of course it would.

[A]

What about. What about Me, I'm just sitting over here, bored out of my mind. Yeah. So that's. That's. I think that's the. So we still get to write handwritten letters to people and receive handwritten letters. How nice is that?

[B]

That's great. Yeah.

[A]

I love that. You have lovely handwriting. I do, Yeah.

[B]

I have really good handwriting.

[A]

Cursive or.

[B]

Let's see. I have some right here, actually. I. I write a. Like my mom. My mom has the best handwriting.

[A]

My mother's handwriting is. Is. Whenever she would sign something for school, they thought I'd faked it because it was so much like a child's.

[B]

Oh, okay. So here's like. Oh. So it's kind of like a cursive hybrid. This is me getting ready for the London Edinburgh show, checking off. How do I do it? This is a movie idea. And I got the three acts. I think I can just do it.

[A]

Wow. Does your notebook not have lines? Does that have. Is that dotted or lined?

[B]

This is a notebook that. From Pixar. It's blank. I prefer blank. But I'll tell you, I was like. I was like, ooh, ooh, a Pixar. I think it was like a gift or something. And I was like, well, I'm about to, like, crank out my best creative in this, like, iconic. But then it's.

[A]

It's.

[B]

The pages are per. Every page is perforated.

[A]

Perforated. That's a word. I don't know. Perforated.

[B]

So that means.

[A]

Oh, you can tear it.

[B]

You can tear it. Which I don't like.

[A]

You don't like.

[B]

But it's making me, you know, because, like, when I.

[A]

It gives you the option to do bad things.

[B]

Yeah, they're. I want to keep them in one place, you know, to go back to. And now this is like. But it's also made me get feel less precious about what I'm writing in it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So maybe Pixar does know what it's doing. Do you like Pixar? Do you know what Pixar is?

[A]

They do the Toy Story.

[B]

Good, good, right? Another animated stuff.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I know. That's not your world. That's not your world.

[A]

I'm not a cartoon person. I'm not good at cartoons.

[B]

Why?

[A]

I don't. I think my theory is that my mother made us watch. She doesn't like cartoons because they're for children. So she would just try and find action films that were the most entertaining. So she thought, well, you know, Con Air isn't difficult for a child to understand. That's still entertainment. So that's what she would show me when I was a child instead.

[B]

And that's kind of cool, though, right? What do you think?

[A]

Half. Half cool, half neglect, but I quite like it. We watched the Simpsons because she was like, that's. I'm meeting you halfway. That's half adult stuff for me and half cartoons for you.

[B]

Right, Right. Okay, good. So you got a little. I used to not love animation either, believe it or not, because I was just like, drawings, drawings. Talking, you know, like, give me the real thing.

[A]

But then what changed?

[B]

Then I started making a living doing voices for cartoons. So then I really.

[A]

It's like Stockholm syndrome. And now you're like, this is actually pretty great.

[B]

It's like, changed my perspective. Perspective. Once I came to the other. Literally the other side, I was like, oh, these are awesome.

[A]

You were in. You've been actually in quite a few things that are quite relevant to the bunker life. So. Last man on Earth.

[B]

Last man on Earth. I was getting major flashbacks while we were talking.

[A]

Yeah, I could imagine.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Have you learned anything from being part of that that we could use in the bunker?

[B]

Yeah, I mean, definitely, Like. Like how to eat the food that isn't going to be super tasty years from now.

[A]

Great bucks on Last Man. Like, real life bucks.

[B]

I ate crickets. Crickets.

[A]

Oh, crickets.

[B]

I ate real crickets. And then I looked over down the table, I saw that my castmates were eating, like, yummy prunes that were shaped like crickets. And I was. I didn't know that it was an option. The crickets are fine. Actually, they're not. They're kind of flavorless, but not bad. Like, almost like a bl. Like, sunflower seed type thing. But the problem for me. And I'll eat them with you all. All day long, obviously, is there because we'll farm them, but they see antennas, they kind of get stuck in your teeth. So maybe if we're, like, taking turns preparing each other's meals. When you make my cricket dish, if you could just pop those antennas off, I'd really appreciate it.

[A]

Yeah. I feel like it would be like when you have sushi and you take the tail off the. The. The. The thing where you have to take the tail off the shrimp. Yes, that one. That animal. But some people eat the whole tail, and I feel like those are the same people who would eat the antennas of the cricket.

[B]

Yeah. I can't imagine eating a tail of a shrimp. It's.

[A]

No. But also, I can't imagine eating an entire cricket, so.

[B]

Yeah. It was fine. There's raisin balls. That was my character's famous dish, was a raisin ball to make it taste like a meatball. Yeah, I get you learn a lot. You learn a lot doing that show, but the. What was fun about that show is that we got to go explore the empty earth. We're in a bunker.

[A]

That is true. Would you rather be stuck in a bunker with me or Will Forte?

[B]

Yeah, Will Forte.

[A]

There's only one right answer, by the way.

[B]

That's not fair. Don't do this, Sophie, please.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

Someone's gonna get hurt.

[A]

Is it Will? It's gonna be hurt.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. It's Will. It's Will. No. What if he listens? I love Will Forte.

[A]

He is one of my listeners. Of course he is.

[B]

Y. Yeah, he. He is a stand up, great guy, and we could probably do okay in a bunker and. But I think you and I would do good too, so. You know what? The sexual tension might be too much if it's just the two of us in the bunker. Right? Like, for you and Will or you and me. Oh, my God, I forgot. It could go either way in those circumstances. Oh, we. Oh, wow. You're right. I'll just take you. I'm gonna take you because that'll be an adventure for me to explore that. To explore that path. It'll be, like, revelatory. Oh, my God. I'm kind of excited, kind of scared. It'll be interesting, too, right? It'll be like. I don't. I mean, it'll be new. We'll have to, like, put that in the schedule.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[A]

I'm gonna need more details.

[B]

Well, so it does. It. If it's. So it doesn't go like, all we're doing is just hooking up because we're bored. We're gonna have to make it special.

[A]

Well, do you know why? I think maybe one day a week. Wednesdays. I think we're quite good at this. We've both written books about sex.

[B]

I have to read your book. My book's out of print.

[A]

No, I just bought it. It's used, but I found it in a German bookshop and it's on its way.

[B]

You did not. I could bring you a copy. I have, like, 20 in my garage.

[A]

The German one?

[B]

Yeah. Cancel it. Cancel it. I'll try to remember to. What if I forget? I'll try to remember. It's not like I don't have anything else going on.

[A]

You had a list of your Edinburgh thing. You just put it on that one.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

But I'm really excited to read it and I feel like our books are opposite of each other because yours is about a lot about having sex and mine is about not having sex. Ooh, they fill each other out.

[B]

Yes. Totally Yin yang that shit. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. So we read each other's and then we'll know exactly what to do.

[B]

That sounds great.

[A]

I love it. Oh, one more thing that might be a problem. You don't like horror films.

[B]

I don't. I really don't. I mean. Oh, no, Sophie, don't.

[A]

Don't.

[B]

Like, they really haunt me. Like they're scary. Like they really sit in my head. And now I'm like, now I'm having less and less to get this to distract myself.

[A]

Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

[B]

And don't you feel like we're already fighting, like, dark horror feelings anyways in the bunker? Like, let's not, like, intensify it.

[A]

I'll. I'll watch it on a schedule while she's asleep.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Yeah. In. In the bunk beds.

[B]

Perfect. Perfect.

[A]

I mean, it's good to know, I guess.

[B]

Like, I could. If it's like, maybe you could screen it. And if you. At least some point in our long relationship, you'll be like, I know you. You can handle Nightmare on Elm Street. It's more camp. It's okay. I can. Because I can do jump scares there. Seems like someone described the movie Smile to me. Yeah, that was it, man. I was like, I haven't seen it. I haven't seen a trailer. I am so scared about that movie. And like, if it's just. I mean, imagine if you smiled at me in like a different kind of light in the bunker. No, I'm already about to lose my mind every other minute there.

[A]

Yeah, that would be.

[B]

This.

[A]

That would be so. I hadn't even thought about the possibility of the bunker being scary, but actually it could be very scary if one of us just like. Oh, no.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, no. Just you wake up the person stand. No.

[B]

Uh huh. And I'm like. And I'm just like, I'm standing over you. Oh. And I'm like, oh, sorry, Sophia. I was just curious if you're gonna wake up or not.

[A]

Just curious if your skin could come off.

[B]

It can and it can.

[A]

I think we're going to have a fun time. I think. Okay, let me phrase this a thing. That would of course, be unfortunate. Like, I would be happy to see you coming into the bunker. But then I'd go, oh, no, I actually have tickets for your show. At the Edinburgh fringe in August. And now, because we're in the bunker, I won't be able to go. But if only the bunker wasn't there, I would go into your show. What's the show about?

[B]

Oh, so then I could just perform the show for you?

[A]

Yes. Also, that. Also that. I'm trying. I'm trying to let you plug the show in a way that's relevant to the bunker. That was. I'm very good at this.

[B]

Great setup. Well, it's about. It's about, like, a sheltered, isolated centaur who was only allowed to. To live away from the public. And if anyone came with her, mom raised her, and if anyone came to the house, she would have to hide in a refrigerator box. And at some point, you know, things changed. And now she's going to do the Swan Lake ballet for everyone. And then things. There's. Someone interrupts that performance, and it's her horse dad, played by John Roberts, who's probably out there somewhere. And it's a musical. I wrote songs, and then Big Black Delta made the music. And it's. They're not really song songs. Like, I guess I. It's my first stab at something like this. And so I like to call them song snacks. Like, I wouldn't say they have, like, a full meal that you're used to, But they're fun. I mean, I'm enjoying them. Or I was. I guess I'll be singing them to you quite a bit in the book.

[A]

I mean, the Edinburgh run is sold out, and one of those is my ticket, and I'm going to win in the bunker. I can't. I. I'm so excited for this. I haven't. I've never seen you live, and I just.

[B]

You know what? It's funny. Well, I'll just give you a taste. I mean, I don't want to pull the curtain back too much, but. Because I was just talking to the team about how to get my props to the United Kingdom, which is no easy thing, because this is. This is my costume. He.

[A]

Sweet.

[B]

Isn't it great?

[A]

Wow. Oh, that's so cute.

[B]

This goes around me.

[A]

Yeah. How?

[B]

Harnesses.

[A]

How are you gonna get that here?

[B]

Well, this will fit in a suitcase. Okay, suitcase. But I. I have two in case it breaks, because it really is like, literally, like hot glue guns together. So I wanted to bring two, but they said there's people in Scotland that could help me if it falls to tatters. So I'm gonna bring one. I'm gonna bring one.

[A]

I think that's Fine. That's. Oh, that's so fun. And you'll be doing that in the bunker just for me?

[B]

Yeah. Oh, well, I have grabbed. We'll make it. Maybe I'll grab this or someone will have sent it over.

[A]

Well, I then have to be the one interrupting it, am I?

[B]

You'll have to be Shimmer. That John Roberts role of Shimmer.

[A]

I'll be Shimmer.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Oh, Shimmer.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know if I'm good at. You'll have to teach. I teach you Danish, you teach me how to do acting.

[B]

Yeah, John Roberts. Take from it and you'll. I don't know. He kind of takes a lot of inspiration from John Travolta and Saturday Night Fever.

[A]

Okay. Okay. I'll try and channel that.

[B]

Okay, good.

[A]

I don't know if I have more than one mode, and that mode is probably like me, but. But louder. I think that's my accent. Louder, I think that's my acting. It's just me raising my voice a bit and then hoping. That sounds about right.

[B]

Honestly, that. That's kind of mine too.

[A]

That's a trick. That's a trick. Yeah. Okay, so your show is called the Legend of Crystal Shell. And you'll be in Edinburgh and in London.

[B]

Yeah, the. London has plenty of seats. Like a thousand. It's a big theater. The Roundhouse Theater. Is it too big for the show? I think so. I think so. But I'll try to make it feel intimate for everybody.

[A]

They'll come, they'll come.

[B]

If they're alive.

[A]

You, Kristen Shaw.

[B]

They'll come, they'll come. Come. And. Oh, oh, and then someone's opening. Oh, someone's opening. But I need to look at the. I got an opener too. I'm sorry, it's not you, Sophia.

[A]

I'm sorry, it's not me.

[B]

Geez.

[A]

Turns out now you have two openers.

[B]

Yeah, right. I believe it's Chloe Pets.

[A]

Oh, well, that's a good one. If it wasn't me, it should be Chloe. Yes. Chloe's amazing.

[B]

I feel like you guys would be friends.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chloe's incredible. We were just in Australia together.

[B]

Oh, you did the.

[A]

Both in Australia and we went in Australia together.

[B]

We were just both there just for doing shows.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. The. The. All the festivals. The Australia won one of them, didn't you?

[B]

Yeah, whatever.

[A]

No big deal.

[B]

You know what I loved about the festival? That festival and all the fest in the Edinburgh Festival is there was like a crew of friends that I made, but I thought if I can't come from, like, international, like, so you'd get Australian friends and Irish friends and Danish friends. And I thought I'd always have them, but every festival is like, kind of a new makeup of vibe and comedians and, oh, these comedians broke up, so they're not really coming to hang as much or whatever. And I was like, oh, you can't recreate the. Each festival. Right? It's a different animal, every one of them.

[A]

Yeah, but they're usually all. I found there was some combinations of people at the Melbourne Comedy Festival, where it was just perfect. It was like every single person in that group were nice and, you know, the kind of people who. When someone started speaking, if no one else heard, they'd go, sorry, what did you say? And make everyone hear that type. And I was like, this is so lucky, because then one person would join that group and the whole dynamic would be shattered. I was like, this is so interesting how, like, if you're just in the right combination of people, it can be so fun.

[B]

Was those people that you were describing, would they be like, sophie's usually right about this. Did that happen?

[A]

That would only be. The people who would ruin an atmosphere are the same people who would doubt that I'm right about things. I did snap. I. Oh, my God. Yes. I actually did snap. I snapped because I kept telling people what direction to go, and then they kept going, what way are we going? And I said, oh, it's over there. And they would go, let's look at a map. And I'd go, it's over there. They go, oh, I wonder if it's that way. Should we take a cab? I'd be like, it's five minutes walk and it's over there. And eventually I snapped at them. And I was like, that's not. Yeah, that's not okay. Don't snap.

[B]

No, hold up, hold up. Okay. But no, that is okay, because you're not getting where you're going and they're not listening to you. That is snap approved.

[A]

Okay. Yeah, okay. No, you're. You're right. But maybe I just. Snapping is so, like, ugh. I wish it could be more like, guys, right? Do you know what I mean? An adult snap. What's an adult snap? What's a healthy way of setting a boundary?

[B]

I mean, it's like. What I've noticed is it's like you have to turn into a fricking robot. It's like emotion free. Like, drain. Just being like, guys, I'm sorry. It's just. You're not listening. It's not you. Right. It's like. Because your snap is you being like,

[A]

ah,

[B]

Guys,

[A]

am I invisible? Please stop. Yeah, and it's okay to be yourself. Maybe.

[B]

Gotta get new friends, Sophie.

[A]

That is true. And I'm not speaking to any of those people again.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

This is going to be my. This Edinburgh is the one where I find my real friends. I'm telling you.

[B]

Yeah, dude, I'll be there. Come hang out with me.

[A]

Yes. We're making a new crew full of nice people who admit I'm right. Now, when you packed for the bunker, you packed some stuff for both of us, which we'll be talking about in the bonus episode in just a bit. But for now, thank you so much for being in the bunker with me. Do you think we'll be seeing each other once we're out of the bunker, or do you think we'll never speak again?

[B]

I mean, I feel like we're gonna be so codependent at that point. Like, obviously. I mean, I'm gonna get back with my husband.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

We're.

[A]

Well, wow.

[B]

Okay, I know, I know, but I know it's.

[A]

I guess.

[B]

No, we're. We have a thing.

[A]

Okay, so I'm getting mixed signals.

[B]

I know, I know. It's like, are we gonna just carry on? Like, I can't. You can't make me leave my husband, Sophie. Like, I love him so much. I. But I don't want to lose you.

[A]

Yeah, well, you should have maybe thought of that before you decided to go on a little journey in the bunker.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, I feel like my husband wouldn't approve of that either, but.

[A]

No, let's.

[B]

Circumstances were extreme.

[A]

Let the man decide what you should do with your life. That's a great idea.

[B]

Oh, well, what I'll do is I'll find Rich and Ruby. I'll. And I'll tell them what happened and Rich, you know, and then. And then we'll go from there. But I don't. I don't like the direction this is.

[A]

No, I also fantasy. I also don't think I'm ready for children in my life, actually. So maybe we just.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Yeah, actually.

[B]

But you could be like an auntie that visits. Yeah.

[A]

Well, how old?

[B]

Eight. She's fine.

[A]

Oh, eight is fine. I can do it.

[B]

She has animals. Do you like animals?

[A]

I do like animals.

[B]

Do you like a hamster?

[A]

I'm okay with hamsters. Yeah.

[B]

What about a lizard?

[A]

No, no, you lost me with lizards.

[B]

Oh, wow. Okay.

[A]

Yeah. I know I've never met one, but I assume oh, they're great.

[B]

Oh, great. They're okay, right? Cuddly, Kind of like, I'll pick her. I wish you could. She'll just sit on my shirt like a little baby. Just like.

[A]

And just be like, oh, okay. No, I like. Okay. I like that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Okay, I'm in.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I guess we'll get married. Okay, cool.