Podcast
SOLACE: Soul + Grief
Hosted by Candee Lucas · EN
This podcast is sponsored by SOULPLUSGRACE serving the San José/Santa Cruz area, offering grief support and grief journeying with spirituality. I hope to help you travel through grief with God at your side.
"I am a trained Spiritual Director for those who seek to complete the 19th Annotation of St. Igantius’ spiritual exercises OR seek spiritual direction while grieving. I have also worked as a hospital/cemetery chaplain and grief doula. I believe all paths lead to God and that all traditions are due respect and honour. I take my sacred inspiration from all of my patients and companions–past, present and future; the Dalai Lama, James Tissot, St. John of the Cross, the Buddha, Saint Teresa of Ávila, and, of course, Íñigo who became known as St. Ignatius. I utilize art, poetry, music, aromatherapy, yoga, lectio divina, prayer and meditation in my self-work and work with others. I believe in creating a sacred space for listening; even in the most incongruous of surroundings."
BACKGROUND
- Jesuit Retreat Center, Los Altos, CA -- Pierre Favre Program, 3 year training to give the Spiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius
- Centro de Espiritualidad de Loyola, Spain -- The Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius of Loyola -- 30 Day Silent Retreat
- Center for Loss & Life Transition – Comprehensive Bereavement Skills Training (30 hrs) Ft. Collins, CO
- California State University Institute for Palliative Care--Palliative Care Chaplaincy Specialty Cert. (90 hrs)
- Sequoia Hospital, Redwood City, CA -- Clinical Pastoral Education
- 19th Annotation with Fumiaki Tosu, San Jose, CA, Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius
- Santa Clara University, Santa Clara, CA M.A. – Pastoral Ministries
CONTACT ME: candeelucas@soulplusgrace.com with questions to be answered in future episodes.
19episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
Grief Changes Shape: Sandi's Story Continued
1w ago00:15:08Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailGrief can be hard enough when it comes once, but what happens when it hits again before you can even catch your breath? We pick back up with SandI Moran Brafford, whose year of loss includes the death of her son and, just months later, the sudden death of her husband Jim after a stage four cancer diagnosis and a surgery that was supposed to “help.” The speed of it all leaves no room to plan, no room to process, and a lingering sense of shock that many people recognize but rarely say out loud.We talk about what support actually feels like on the ground, including the difference between a large widow/widower gathering and a more personal grief support program where people can open up over time. Sandi shares why telling your story matters, why some spaces feel scripted, and why honesty, especially around children, can cut through denial. We also touch the quiet regrets that can surface later, like wishing you had gotten more help for a family member who carried a traumatic piece of the loss.From grief food and autopilot workdays to getting lost in books just to stop thinking for a moment, we explore real coping strategies without shame. We also name a frustration many mourners share: workplaces that offer a few days of bereavement leave, then expect you to return “back to normal.” If you’re searching for grief support, bereavement resources, spiritual care, or simply a reminder that it’s never too late to reach out, this conversation offers companionship and clear-eyed hope. ATTEND MY SUMMER WORKSHOP ON "SOULFUL LISTENING" THROUGH THE MARKEY CENTER AT SANTA CLARA UNIVERSITY VIA ZOOM.https://events.scu.edu/markey-center/event/359741-soulful-listening-workshops-on-the-ministry-ofArt: https://www.etsy.com/shop/vasonaArts?ref=seller-platform-mcnavand https://fineartamerica.com/profiles/candee-lucashttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F2SFH4Z6Music and sound effects today by: via Pixabay
Transcribe →Sandi's Continuing Story
2w ago00:12:51Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailOne small decision can become a lifelong memory. I sit down with Sandi Moran Brafford as she returns to the days surrounding the sudden death of her youngest son, Rich, and tells the story with a honesty that’s both tender and blunt. She shares what it felt like to cancel a simple lunch plan because she was new at work, then wake up to a family emergency that would change everything. If you’ve lived through sudden loss, child loss, or complicated bereavement, you’ll recognize the shock, the numbness, and the way time turns surreal.We also talk about what happens after the phone calls and the gathering at the house when real life still demands you show up. Sandi describes grief at work in vivid, practical terms: crying on the drive in, slipping away to the bathroom, and returning to the schedule because bills don’t pause. Alongside the loss, she was finishing breast cancer radiation, adding physical exhaustion to emotional collapse, and she reflects on how compounded trauma can blur months into a haze.Marriage and grief come up too. Sandi explains how her husband Jim struggled to talk about Rich, not because he didn’t care, but because his grief lived in quieter places and small acts. That difference could have split them, yet it ultimately pulled them closer, offering a real-life look at how couples navigate different grieving styles.A turning point arrives with a “cheerbox” from Amanda the Panda, a grief support organization for children and families. That simple daily ritual opens a door to community, volunteering, and meaning-making through helping others carry their stories. ATTEND MY SUMMER WORKSHOP ON "SOULFUL LISTENING" THROUGH THE MARKEY CENTER AT SANTA CLARA UNIVERSITY VIA ZOOM.https://events.scu.edu/markey-center/event/359741-soulful-listening-workshops-on-the-ministry-ofArt: https://www.etsy.com/shop/vasonaArts?ref=seller-platform-mcnavand https://fineartamerica.com/profiles/candee-lucashttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F2SFH4Z6Music and sound effects today by: via Pixabay
Transcribe →The Little Griefs That Shape Us
3w ago00:12:42Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailSome losses don’t arrive like a thunderclap. They slip in quietly when you realize you don’t live there anymore, you don’t talk to those friends anymore, or you’ve outgrown a version of life that once felt permanent. That kind of change can bring real grief, even when nothing “tragic” has happened. Spend time with words that help many people breathe again: readings from Khalil Gibran’s The Prophet --on Joy and Sorrow, and on Time. When Gibran writes that joy and sorrow are inseparable, it challenges the way we try to split our lives into neat categories. If you’re grieving, that tension may feel familiar: love makes life bigger, and loss makes it ache. Rather than treating sorrow as a problem to solve, explore how faith can help us hold both truths without breaking. Turn to Ecclesiastes 3 and its steady reminder that there is a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance. That wisdom gives us permission to be human, to recognize our memories, and to keep walking with God as time moves forward. ATTEND MY SUMMER WORKSHOP ON "SOULFUL LISTENING" THROUGH THE MARKEY CENTER AT SANTA CLARA UNIVERSITY VIA ZOOM.https://events.scu.edu/markey-center/event/359741-soulful-listening-workshops-on-the-ministry-ofArt: https://www.etsy.com/shop/vasonaArts?ref=seller-platform-mcnavand https://fineartamerica.com/profiles/candee-lucashttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F2SFH4Z6Music and sound effects today by: via Pixabay
Transcribe →Death Is Not Something That Happens To Other People with SANDI MORAN BRAFFORD
May 2900:12:23Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailDeath has a brutal way of time-traveling us back to the losses we swear we’ve already “made peace with.” I’m joined by my friend of more than 60 years, Sandi Moran Brafford, a writer who has been blogging for decades about the stories we carry and the ones that break us open.Sandi reads a short, devastatingly honest blog post she calls “Sad Stories,” written after the loss of a dear friend and after hearing about a 19-year-old killed in a tragic car accident. Those fresh deaths reopen her own life-altering grief, including the death of her son, who died in his sleep at 30, and the memories that come rushing back with every funeral. Together we name the disorientation of grief, the way our culture tries to push death aside, and why walking into a church or funeral home can instantly plug us back into our own heartbreak.We also talk about what actually helps when grief gets loud: permission to cry, to talk, to tell stories, to say their names, and to stop performing courage so others won’t feel awkward. Sandi shares the real, tactile ways mourners cope, like holding onto a blanket or a shirt, and why those physical anchors can matter. If you’re looking for grief support, bereavement resources, and honest conversation about child loss, sudden death, and healing that isn’t linear, this one will meet you where you are. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more grieving people can find this circle of support.Sandi's blog can be found at: https://sandimoranbrafford.blogspot.com/ATTEND MY SUMMER WORKSHOP ON "SOULFUL LISTENING" THROUGH THE MARKEY CENTER AT SANTA CLARA UNIVERSITY VIA ZOOM.https://events.scu.edu/markey-center/event/359741-soulful-listening-workshops-on-the-ministry-ofArt: https://www.etsy.com/shop/vasonaArts?ref=seller-platform-mcnavand https://fineartamerica.com/profiles/candee-lucashttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F2SFH4Z6Music and sound effects today by: via Pixabay
Transcribe →Grief Myths
May 2200:13:00Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailGrief advice is everywhere, and a lot of it sounds comforting until you try to live inside it. We keep hearing that grief moves in stages, that time heals all wounds, that you have to “let go” to move on, that grief only counts when someone dies, and that strong people stay composed. Those ideas can turn a natural human response into a private test you feel like you’re failing.Here, we talk about why the five stages of grief became a cultural script, what Kübler-Ross actually meant, and why real bereavement is rarely linear. We challenge the hidden deadline inside “time heals” and name what tends to help more: attention, meaning-making, community, and steady presence, especially for prolonged grief.We also explore modern grief research on continuing bonds, the idea that maintaining an inner relationship with a loved one who died is often adaptive and deeply meaningful. Then we widen the lens to include disenfranchised grief: divorce, infertility, immigration, estrangement, job loss, and other losses that don’t get rituals, casseroles, or sympathy cards. Finally, we address stoicism and grief suppression, including how unfelt grief can migrate into the body, relationships, and coping behaviors, and why vulnerability is a form of courage.If you’re grieving, or you love someone who is, listen and share this with the person who needs gentleness more than advice. Subscribe, leave a review, and tell us: which grief myth has been hardest to shake?ATTEND MY SUMMER WORKSHOP ON "SOULFUL LISTENING" THROUGH THE MARKEY CENTER AT SANTA CLARA UNIVERSITY VIA ZOOM.https://events.scu.edu/markey-center/event/359741-soulful-listening-workshops-on-the-ministry-ofArt: https://www.etsy.com/shop/vasonaArts?ref=seller-platform-mcnavand https://fineartamerica.com/profiles/candee-lucashttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F2SFH4Z6Music and sound effects today by: via Pixabay
Transcribe →Death Across The Street
May 1500:12:46Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailA line of fire trucks and police cars can feel like “something happening to someone else” until it’s parked on your own street; a stunned neighborhood, and a question that wouldn’t let go: what happened across the street, less than fifty yards from our ordinary lives?I share the story of a little boy who suffered in ways no child should, behind a house that looked like any other from the outside. As the details surface, we sit with the heartbreak of not knowing his name, the heaviness of realizing we couldn’t see what was hidden, and the complicated truth that the person who caused his death was also a child living in pain. It’s a meditation on grief, child loss, trauma, and the “why” questions that rise up when meaning feels impossible.Where was God in this? There are no easy answers, but the comfort of believing Jesus accompanies suffering, and acknowledging how inadequate words can be when love has been so visibly absent. If you’re searching for a grief podcast that’s honest, spiritual, and grounded, listen and take what you need for wherever you are in your grieving process. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs a place to land, and leave a review so more grieving listeners can find this circle of support.ATTEND MY SUMMER WORKSHOP ON "SOULFUL LISTENING" THROUGH THE MARKEY CENTER AT SANTA CLARA UNIVERSITY VIA ZOOM.https://events.scu.edu/markey-center/event/359741-soulful-listening-workshops-on-the-ministry-ofArt: https://www.etsy.com/shop/vasonaArts?ref=seller-platform-mcnavand https://fineartamerica.com/profiles/candee-lucashttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F2SFH4Z6Music and sound effects today by: via Pixabay
Transcribe →Secular Grief Support
May 1000:17:10Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailSome of the most common grief “comfort” assume faith, and when the person you’re supporting doesn’t share that worldview, those attempts can land like distance instead of love. Learn how to show up for non-religious grief with honesty, steadiness, and zero agenda. IDiscover who secular grievers are and why this group is growing, then name what can be missing when religion isn’t part of their life: a ready-made narrative, familiar mourning rituals, built-in community, and shared language for loss. Here is a practical framework for grief support that works across beliefs: presence without trying to fix, validation of finality when the loss feels like a full stop, and meaning-making on the griever’s terms rather than others.Learn to share secular grief rituals and memorial ideas, ways to keep someone alive in story and legacy, and reminders for companions about self-care, secondary grief, and the power of returning weeks after the funeral.SPIRITUAL DIRECTION WHILE GRIEVING IS AVAILABLE : candeelucas@soulplusgrace.comATTEND MY SUMMER WORKSHOP ON "SOULFUL LISTENING" THROUGH THE MARKEY CENTER AT SANTA CLARA UNIVERSITY VIA ZOOM.https://events.scu.edu/markey-center/event/359741-soulful-listening-workshops-on-the-ministry-ofArt: https://www.etsy.com/shop/vasonaArts?ref=seller-platform-mcnavand https://fineartamerica.com/profiles/candee-lucashttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F2SFH4Z6Music and sound effects today by: via Pixabay
Transcribe →Love Is The Hardest Spiritual Practice
May 100:12:00Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailLove shows up most clearly when it hurts. When grief strips away the noise, we’re left staring at the one thing we can’t measure and can’t replace: the love that remains after someone is gone. We welcome you back to Solace, Soul Plus Grief with a gentle invitation into prayer, reflection, and spiritual companionship for the grieving heart. We move through a poetic meditation on the divine name, light, and the unsettling idea that only in us can God feel “lost” enough to ask questions. From there, we ask a blunt question that many people of faith avoid saying out loud: has “I love you” become more habit than experience? And if it has, what does grief reveal about what love truly is? These reflections connect directly to faith-based grief support, Christian grief resources, and the lived reality of longing after loss. The episode also wrestles with one of scripture’s hardest stories: Abraham and Isaac. We sit with the confusion, the missing voices, and the possibility that the real test is not performance but love itself. Finally, we name what grief teaches us in plain terms: love leaves an imprint, sometimes a scar, and tears become one honest way love is “measured.” If this resonates, subscribe, share the episode with someone who’s grieving, and leave a review so more people can find this space.SPIRITUAL DIRECTION WHILE GRIEVING IS AVAILABLE : candeelucas@soulplusgrace.comATTEND MY SUMMER WORKSHOP ON "SOULFUL LISTENING" THROUGH THE MARKEY CENTER AT SANTA CLARA UNIVERSITY VIA ZOOM.https://events.scu.edu/markey-center/event/359741-soulful-listening-workshops-on-the-ministry-ofArt: https://www.etsy.com/shop/vasonaArts?ref=seller-platform-mcnavand https://fineartamerica.com/profiles/candee-lucashttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F2SFH4Z6Music and sound effects today by: via Pixabay
Transcribe →Grief Is Proof Of Love
Apr 2400:16:48Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailWhat part of grief are you learning to meet gently?Grief can make you feel like you’re failing at something you never volunteered for. When the tears rise up, or nothing rises up at all, the mind starts grading you: too emotional, not emotional enough, too attached, still stuck. Those familiar thoughts offer a different frame, inspired by mindfulness teacher Sean Fargo: grief isn’t a problem to solve. It’s a natural expression of care, the heart’s response to meaningful change.Reflect on Fargo’s experience at a retreat with Sabonfu Some', a renowned West African grief ritual healer, and how even a former monk can find grief “messy.” From that honesty, move into five simple mindfulness invitations you can use right now: name what’s here without judging it, give grief a little honest space, let it move the way it moves, support others with presence rather than fixing, and make room for resistance with gentle anchors that help your nervous system settle.For anyone offering grief support to a friend or family member, learn about creating a safer, more sacred space instead of rushing toward advice or silver linings. Finally, a reading of Psalm 22 in Norman Fischer’s Zen-inspired translation, gives language to abandonment, longing, and the stubborn desire for connection when suffering feels near.If this speaks to where you are in the grieving process, subscribe for new Friday releases, share the episode with someone who needs a softer way to breathe, and leave a review so more people can find this kind of grief care. What part of grief are you learning to meet gently?Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mindful-grief/id1622236300?i=1000757095915SPIRITUAL DIRECTION WHILE GRIEVING IS AVAILABLE : candeelucas@soulplusgrace.comATTEND MY SUMMER WORKSHOP ON "SOULFUL LISTENING" THROUGH THE MARKEY CENTER AT SANTA CLARA UNIVERSITY VIA ZOOM.https://events.scu.edu/markey-center/event/359741-soulful-listening-workshops-on-the-ministry-ofArt: https://www.etsy.com/shop/vasonaArts?ref=seller-platform-mcnavand https://fineartamerica.com/profiles/candee-lucashttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F2SFH4Z6Music and sound effects today by: via Pixabay
Transcribe →Faith May Start With A Wound
Apr 1700:21:46Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailGrief can make you feel like you’ve been exiled to a place no one else has ever been. When people try to help by saying “I know exactly how you feel,” it can land like a second loss, because your pain is not a template. I’m Candy Lucas, a chaplain and spiritual director, and I want to slow down with a part of the Bible that refuses quick fixes: the Book of Lamentations.We walk through why Lamentations may be one of the most pastoral books in Scripture for Christian grief and mourning. These poems are born after Jerusalem’s collapse, written from inside the devastation, and they begin with a wound instead of a solution. We talk about how that honesty challenges the habit of rushing to Romans 8:28, and why real grief support starts with presence, not explanations.Then we name what many believers are afraid to admit out loud: anger at God. Lamentations models raw prayer without pretending it is polished testimony, making space for faith and loss to coexist. At the center, we explore the famous line “Great is your faithfulness” and why it is not a mountaintop slogan but a remembered truth spoken from the rubble. We also face the book’s unresolved ending, and what it means to live a “theology of the middle” when your story is still unfinished.If you’re mourning or walking alongside someone who is, listen and let lament speak. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs permission to be real, and leave a review so more grieving hearts can find the circle.SPIRITUAL DIRECTION WHILE GRIEVING IS AVAILABLE : candeelucas@soulplusgrace.comATTEND MY SUMMER WORKSHOP ON "SOULFUL LISTENING" THROUGH THE MARKEY CENTER AT SANTA CLARA UNIVERSITY VIA ZOOM.https://events.scu.edu/markey-center/event/359741-soulful-listening-workshops-on-the-ministry-ofArt: https://www.etsy.com/shop/vasonaArts?ref=seller-platform-mcnavand https://fineartamerica.com/profiles/candee-lucashttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F2SFH4Z6Music and sound effects today by: via Pixabay
Transcribe →