Podcast
SOLACE: Soul + Grief
Hosted by Candee Lucas · EN
This podcast is sponsored by SOULPLUSGRACE serving the San José/Santa Cruz area, offering grief support and grief journeying with spirituality. I hope to help you travel through grief with God at your side.
"I am a trained Spiritual Director for those who seek to complete the 19th Annotation of St. Igantius’ spiritual exercises OR seek spiritual direction while grieving. I have also worked as a hospital/cemetery chaplain and grief doula. I believe all paths lead to God and that all traditions are due respect and honour. I take my sacred inspiration from all of my patients and companions–past, present and future; the Dalai Lama, James Tissot, St. John of the Cross, the Buddha, Saint Teresa of Ávila, and, of course, Íñigo who became known as St. Ignatius. I utilize art, poetry, music, aromatherapy, yoga, lectio divina, prayer and meditation in my self-work and work with others. I believe in creating a sacred space for listening; even in the most incongruous of surroundings."
BACKGROUND
- Jesuit Retreat Center, Los Altos, CA -- Pierre Favre Program, 3 year training to give the Spiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius
- Centro de Espiritualidad de Loyola, Spain -- The Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius of Loyola -- 30 Day Silent Retreat
- Center for Loss & Life Transition – Comprehensive Bereavement Skills Training (30 hrs) Ft. Collins, CO
- California State University Institute for Palliative Care--Palliative Care Chaplaincy Specialty Cert. (90 hrs)
- Sequoia Hospital, Redwood City, CA -- Clinical Pastoral Education
- 19th Annotation with Fumiaki Tosu, San Jose, CA, Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius
- Santa Clara University, Santa Clara, CA M.A. – Pastoral Ministries
CONTACT ME: candeelucas@soulplusgrace.com with questions to be answered in future episodes.
27episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
Naming Sibling Grief
Mar 2700:11:28Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailThere’s a word for losing a parent. There’s a word for losing a spouse. But when a sibling dies, many of us are left with a strange, aching blank, and that cultural silence can make the grief feel invisible. We sit with that truth and name what so many people carry quietly: sibling loss is not “less than” other losses, and it deserves space, language, and care. Why are siblings often treated as forgotten mourners and how that plays out at funerals, in family conversations, and in the months after everyone else goes back to normal? We explore what makes a brother or sister different from any other relationship: they can be your longest bond, your keeper of childhood memories, and a living witness to your story. When that person dies, it can feel like losing part of your own history along with them. From there unpack the deeper layers of sibling bereavement, including grief for the person, grief for a complicated or unresolved relationship, grief for a family system that is permanently reshaped, and the sudden confrontation with your own mortality. Challenge popular myths about “stages” and explain why grief comes in waves, why the second year can hit harder, and why emotions like anger, numbness, relief, or even joy do not mean you’re doing it wrong. Offering practical, steadying tools: naming yourself as a bereaved sibling, using language that validates your experience, building continuing bonds that honor love in a new form, and finding support so you don’t have to carry this alone. SPIRITUAL DIRECTION WHILE GRIEVING IS AVAILABLE : candeelucas@soulplusgrace.comATTEND MY SUMMER WORKSHOP ON "SOULFUL LISTENING" THROUGH THE MARKEY CENTER AT SANTA CLARA UNIVERSITY VIA ZOOM.https://events.scu.edu/markey-center/event/359741-soulful-listening-workshops-on-the-ministry-ofArt: https://www.etsy.com/shop/vasonaArts?ref=seller-platform-mcnavand https://fineartamerica.com/profiles/candee-lucashttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F2SFH4Z6Music and sound effects today by: via Pixabay
Transcribe →Like Waking From A Dream
Mar 2000:08:38Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailYou know that split second after a vivid dream where it still feels real, like the person is still there? That’s the doorway we walk through today, because grief often behaves exactly like that: irrational, symbolic, and completely untethered from clocks and calendars. IWe talk about how both dreams and bereavement collapse time the past becomes present and the dead feel alive. Rather than treating that as weakness, we name it as the mind doing what minds do: trying again and again to metabolize a loss it cannot fully accept. We also face the hard part: the nightmare moments. Sometimes the most painful waves are the most honest, because they put us in direct contact with what’s real. I reflect on C.S. Lewis and the idea that love’s “impact” continues even after death the other is gone, but the impact remains. The takeaway is simple and sturdy: we don’t get over grief; we learn to dream differently, until this landscape becomes something we can move through without drowning.If this resonates, subscribe, share the episode with someone who’s hurting, and leave a review so more people looking for grief support can find it.one who is grieving. Subscribe for new Friday releases, and if you can, leave a review so more people searching for grief support and spiritual care can find us.SPIRITUAL DIRECTION WHILE GRIEVING IS AVAILABLE : candeelucas@soulplusgrace.comATTEND MY SUMMER WORKSHOP ON "SOULFUL LISTENING" THROUGH THE MARKEY CENTER AT SANTA CLARA UNIVERSITY VIA ZOOM.https://events.scu.edu/markey-center/event/359741-soulful-listening-workshops-on-the-ministry-ofArt: https://www.etsy.com/shop/vasonaArts?ref=seller-platform-mcnavand https://fineartamerica.com/profiles/candee-lucashttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F2SFH4Z6Music and sound effects today by: via Pixabay
Transcribe →Grief Is Proof Of Love
Mar 1300:09:56Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailGrief can be loud, but it can also be quiet enough to hide in plain sight. Sometimes it settles into the corners of our lives like dust we promise we will deal with later, when we have more time, more strength, or fewer responsibilities. What happens when we keep postponing mourning, and why the “later” we wait for rarely arrives on its own.Start with a simple image that opens a big question: who and what lives at the corners of our lives? From there, we look at the corners where grief gathers, along with the complicated pieces that often come with loss like resentment, lingering harm, words we never said, and words we wish we could take back. Grief has no clean endpoint, because love has no clean endpoint, and avoiding grief can quietly intensify pain over years.We also explore a faith-centered perspective through the story of Jesus and the woman at the well, where someone who might be treated as a “corner person” is fully seen. That becomes a guide for our own healing: the things we fear in our grief corners are not calamities waiting to destroy us. They are shards of living love, chipped from both hearts, and they deserve gentle attention. This is a simple, practical image to carry with you: hold a bright candle to the corner, and bring what you find into the sunshine.If this speaks to you, listen, follow the show, and share it with someone who is grieving. Subscribe for new Friday releases, and if you can, leave a review so more people searching for grief support and spiritual care can find us.SPIRITUAL DIRECTION WHILE GRIEVING IS AVAILABLE : candeelucas@soulplusgrace.comATTEND MY SUMMER WORKSHOP ON "SOULFUL LISTENING" THROUGH THE MARKEY CENTER AT SANTA CLARA UNIVERSITY VIA ZOOM.https://events.scu.edu/markey-center/event/359741-soulful-listening-workshops-on-the-ministry-ofArt: https://www.etsy.com/shop/vasonaArts?ref=seller-platform-mcnavand https://fineartamerica.com/profiles/candee-lucashttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F2SFH4Z6Music and sound effects today by: via Pixabay
Transcribe →Sorrow As A Teacher, Love As A Map
Mar 600:10:32Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailGrief rarely follows our plans, and neither does love. We step into scripture using Ignatian imaginative prayer and walk alongside Jesus as the caravan grows, the chores pile up, and friendship matures through late-night talks and hard truth. When a stranger brings the unthinkable news—John has been beheaded—the scene turns to lament: a howl in the dark, a body received with care, linen and balm prepared, prayers whispered at a rocky graveside. Rather than rush toward answers, we sit in the holy weight of mourning and notice how faith breathes through presence, not performance.That tenderness meets a new test with the message about Lazarus. Should love hurry, or can delay bear a meaning we cannot see yet? We argue, plead, and name the fear in a mother’s eyes. The response points to a wider point of love, a horizon bigger than our urgency. This tension anchors a larger conversation about how believers wrestle with God’s timing: anger that tells the truth, hope that will not vanish, and trust that grows one honest prayer at a time.To hold all this, we turn to Kahlil Gibran’s meditation on pain as the breaking of the shell around our understanding. The image does not excuse suffering; it invites us to recognize the physician within, the remedy that stings because it heals, and the seasons that pass over the heart as surely as winter yields to spring. Along the way, we offer grounded spiritual direction for mourners, simple practices for noticing God’s nearness, and a gentle reminder that community can carry what we cannot.If this journey meets you where you are, subscribe, share this episode with a friend who is grieving, and leave a review so others can find a circle of support when they need it most.SPIRITUAL DIRECTION WHILE GRIEVING IS AVAILABLEArt: https://www.etsy.com/shop/vasonaArts?ref=seller-platform-mcnavand https://fineartamerica.com/profiles/candee-lucashttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F2SFH4Z6Music and sound effects today by: via Pixabay
Transcribe →What Grief Means to Us
Feb 2700:16:42Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailHappiness showing up in the middle of grief can feel like a breach of loyalty. We talk honestly about that knot in the throat—the moment a new baby, a friend’s engagement, or a quiet sunrise stirs warmth while your heart is still heavy—and we offer a way to hold both truths without apology. Drawing on Scripture and lived experience, we explore whether joy follows sorrow, lives inside it, or both, and why that tension is normal, human, and often holy.We reflect on verses like “weeping may last for the night, but joy comes in the morning” and Paul’s paradox of being “sorrowful, yet always rejoicing.” Rather than forcing a winner between emotions, we frame pain and joy as grounded in different realities: grief names what was torn; joy names what remains unshakable. Through a vivid boulder-in-the-storm image, we show how joy can be submerged by waves yet never dislodged, reappearing as the waters calm.The goal is not to erase sadness but to keep joy from going, trusting that tearful joy can, with time, become more spacious and even, at moments, tearless.If this conversation steadies you or someone you love, share it with a friend who’s grieving, subscribe for weekly solace, and leave a review with one moment of joy you noticed today. Your words may be the lifeline another listener needs.Please subscribe to us on Amazon Music, Spotify, or Apple MusicSPIRITUAL DIRECTION WHILE GRIEVING IS AVAILABLEArt: https://www.etsy.com/shop/vasonaArts?ref=seller-platform-mcnavand https://fineartamerica.com/profiles/candee-lucashttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F2SFH4Z6Music and sound effects today by: via Pixabay
Transcribe →Zen, Ignatius, And The Voice That Heals
Feb 2000:10:30Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailWhat if the center of your grief isn’t emptiness, but a voice that calls you "Beloved"? We explore a quiet, radical shift inspired by Ruben L. F. Habito’s Zen and the Spiritual Exercises, bringing Zen attention and Ignatian prayer together to meet sorrow without shame. Instead of ranking life by wins and losses, we invite you into a gentler metric—inner freedom rooted in identity rather than performance.We walk through the baptism of Jesus as a living scene, not a distant story. With sensory imagination and simple breath, we step into the water, hear the heavens open, and receive the naming that steadies the heart: “You are my beloved; with you I am well pleased.” From there, grief looks different. Not smaller, but held. You’ll learn how contemplative stillness can soften the tight loops of comparison, how Zen’s don’t-know mind releases deadlines for healing, and how Ignatian discernment guides daily choices toward what actually brings life.Across the conversation, we offer a short, practical practice you can repeat when waves rise: sit, breathe, listen, return. We talk about letting go of inherited rules about “strong” mourning, making space for tears without apology, and building a small rule of life—journaling after hard moments, naming the one you miss, and choosing companions who bring freedom. If you’ve ever wondered whether faith and mindfulness can speak the same language to a broken heart, this is a hand on your shoulder and a path under your feet.Please subscribe to us on Amazon Music, Spotify, or Apple MusicSPIRITUAL DIRECTION WHILE GRIEVING IS AVAILABLEArt: https://www.etsy.com/shop/vasonaArts?ref=seller-platform-mcnavand https://fineartamerica.com/profiles/candee-lucashttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F2SFH4Z6Music and sound effects today by: via Pixabay
Transcribe →Spiritual Lifelines: God's Companionship
Sep 5Tap to summarizeSend us Fan MailToday we explore how to walk with God during grief when prayer feels impossible and faith seems distant. Grief creates natural spiritual questions as we navigate the physical, emotional, and psychological shifts that come with significant loss.• Picture God on your side rather than as the cause of suffering• God's compassionate presence walks with us through our pain• Trust God's nearness even when feelings suggest otherwise• Call on good memories to help navigate present darkness• Find at least one thing each day to be grateful for• Pray your pain by expressing real feelings to God• Try alternative prayer forms like walking, music, or open hands• Look for God in unexpected ways like nature or acts of kindness• Make time for solitude where invisible healing occurs• Be patient with yourself as healing takes time• Find support through others' stories of loss and resilience• Remember God keeps vigil over you as a loving parentYou can reach me at: candeelucas@soulplusgrace.com.SPIRITUAL DIRECTION WHILE GRIEVING IS AVAILABLEArt: https://www.etsy.com/shop/vasonaArts?ref=seller-platform-mcnavand https://fineartamerica.com/profiles/candee-lucashttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F2SFH4Z6Music and sound effects today by: via Pixabay
Transcribe →