Rachel Zegler (17:53)

No longer 1937.

Mom (17:55)

Not gonna be saved by the prince.

Rachel Zegler (17:56)

She's not gonna be saved by the prince. And she's not gonna be dreaming about true love. She's dreaming about becoming the leader she knows she can be and the leader that her late father told her that she could be if she was fearless, fair, brave and true. The original cartoon came out in 1937, and very evidently so there is a big focus on her love story with a guy who literally stalks her.

Julian (18:19)

Weird.

Rachel Zegler (18:20)

Weird. So we didn't do that this time. I was scared of the original cartoon. I think I watched it once and then I never picked it up again. I watched it for the first time in probably 16, 17 years. The cartoon was made 85 years ago, and therefore it's extremely dated when it comes to the ideas of women being in roles of power no longer.

Julian (18:45)

So now you're hearing it from the actresses mouths themselves the. They're leveraging the fact that this is a story now, a modern take on a classic of Snow White finding her voice and taking the power back and not just submitting to the white man who would be deemed the. What do you call him? The prince. The saving prince here. So people are boycotting because they're mad at Rachel Zellger, who's advocating for this more modern take on a story. And now you have like, you know, the left side that's boycotting it because Gal Gadot is a Zionist and supports genocide. So it's like we both hate this, but for different reasons. And people are attacking this from all over. So you have like the end wokeness pages posting the audio from the clip that I just played you putting the dumb music behind it and, you know, being highly critical of Rachel's words. But in fact, there's the left side which is more infuriated. They're all about the woke version of it. They're just more infuriated with the Gal Gadot side of things. It's very, very interesting dynamic, which is explains why this movie's tanking so hard. I do want to say, personally speaking, I have nothing wrong with remakes of classics. I just think they need to be more clear with how they speak about them because this is intellectual property. These all stories that existed. They're historical stories. And I'm not saying preserve the good grace of Snow. Wow. We need more. Why women in t TV media gur not taking that side. I'm just saying why don't you just say the story is a new rendition and loosely based on the original story of Snow White. I don't think it's smart that Disney is just rebranding these things as Snow White and pushing the story as if it's the. Basically the original script and the original plotline, which is obviously not true. Just say, hey, look like, you know, we, we have. We were deep in the women empowerment movement. We want to give women a voice. We actually want to do Disney where we're taking on all of our classic tales. We're usually women are the submissive ones and they're asleep until the right man kisses them and changes their life. We're flipping all those scripts on their head and we're. And we're giving women the power and we're giving them these voices. And yes, they're inspired by the classic films that we used to love and now everybody decided to hate. But we're actually giving these. We're breathing new life into them. And because of that, that's why we're moving forward with women of color playing these roles. We're doing, you know, women, women led teams, production teams, directors, et cetera. I think it'd be a much smoother, I think people, they would still get hate, of course, but I think it would be a much better understanding understandment for the general public if you were just more forthcoming with what your intentions are with these films instead of pumping out this version where Snow White all of a sudden, like, wants to run a business and, you know, isn't, isn't just, you know, asleep the whole time is woke and active and does all these things and goes out and vote and then presenting that as if that was a story the whole time when that wasn't at all what happened. Another thing with the story, they got rid of the dwarves because that's, you know, demeaning to little people. Peter Dinklage's schedule was too busy. They couldn't get his other eight options. So I Believe in this version, they're just redheads now because that's the only marginalized group left that you can still make fun of. I'm sure they'll have their day where there's an uprising for them. But in terms of, at least in 2025, you can still rally around a group of redheads. Pretty sure that's what they did in Wicked. I could just be confusing that with Wicked. But, yeah, they basically got rid of the munchkins. The munchkins aren't short people. Small, whatever, little people. It's just a bunch of redheads now. So I. Hopefully they carried that over into Snow White. Really interesting. I will say this. I will never see this movie. I have no interest in seeing this movie at all. It was. It sounded like. It's horrible. It's performing horribly, to no surprise. I just think it's very interesting that the. This movie, the disaster of this movie is a perfect representation of people's want to justify their outrage and feel validated by something failing. Again, there's people that are angry at Gal Gadot and being, you know, a Zionist and. And, you know, seemingly supporting a genocide, not seemingly supporting an open genocide to a group of people, and also putting on some of the worst acting anyone has ever seen and somehow getting a Hollywood star for it. I mean, that doesn't help their narrative, that they don't control the media, all that stuff that people say. But then there's on the side of Rachel where it's like, damn it, this ethnic woman. She's got back hair. She looked better. Get her out of here. So it's just interesting how hatred can meet in the middle and they can both boycott because of mutual disdain for different causes. I just think that's very interesting how people's hatred can, you know, find at some point, the Venn diagram overlaps and this movie seems to be the case where that is true. So, yeah, Disney, Epcot's on fire. The remakes of your films are tanking. You have racist Twitter going into a frenzy saying, this is why I told you so. It's because of these. Because they're bombing people. Or it's the other side of the token where it's close ups of Rachel's back. It's just. It's just dirty, like, along the way. Not Rachel's back's not dirty. I'm saying, though, the whole Internet's. It's a smear campaign and it's dirty how low people will swing to make sure that their reason for something failing is validated. We're back. Yep, just did another dunk. And you're probably wondering, Julian, why have you done this on any other episodes? And I would say, mind your business. I do this every episode, three times an episode. You're just not watching hard enough. Something I did want to point out about these, the guys, the Drew Walls and the Ashton Halls is. And I have some friends that do this too. Something I've realized is that like it's not even about the morning routine. It's just about these tiny, disciplined little habits. And all these do is just create the self image of yourself that you want. And you're basically just creating the version of the person you hope to be and you aspire and you want to become. I have friends that like buy things or have things or implicitly are meticulous about things because they want to see themselves as that type of person. I have one friend in particular that I constantly make fun of for doing stuff like that. I call it, I think it's all very performative. I love him to death, but it's just, you know, I think he kind of categorically falls into one of these guys. And I think that's like the men in particular are really taking hold of that. The aesthetic of perfection, the aesthetic of I, I am this version of myself. Because you are in, in fact doing the very things that you're saying you are. But it's, it's not out of, is not a genuine love for these things or want to do these things. It's because of the image that it portrays to the public of who you are. Again, I think a lot of this stuff is extremely performative, but there is a market there for it. And there are a hundreds of thousands of insecure kids, young boys and even grown men that are struggling to find their purpose or haven't found it and find comfort in these guys that have or seemingly have like the Andrew Tates that pump, dip into a gym, do 10 push ups, 12 sit ups, rack a couple, throw up a couple weights and then it's like, damn, that one day that could be me. Well, if it's not going to be me, at least I can watch him doing it. And I enjoy watching him doing it. Or it's like, you know, you psych yourself out. It's like, damn, this guy starts his day at three in the morning. I don't have that level of discipline, but I can appreciate someone that does. The guys that do that do not have it all figured out. And I really want you guys to understand that that's again, it's. It's a. It's a. It's a version that they're projecting of themselves. They're no better than you. You are exactly where you're you're meant to be in anything you want to change circumstantially in your life. You have the power to do so. And it doesn't have to start with you waking up at 3am and running a sub 440 and dunking your face in water and spending an absurd amount of money on only bottled water. Which is extre wasteful that these guys are doing that in a moment of real truth. I know I've been joking for most of this episode, but I do want to cut through and speak to you as a man. A man with many flaws and is constantly changing and evolving over time. You do not need to mirror the lifestyle that you see of those who seemingly online have it all together. Getting a million views and a hundred thousand comments doesn't mean you have the blueprint to success. It means you figured out what works for a very specific demo. In a market, there is marketability there. Are you the listener as a man or woman? This is kind of an apply all thing. Are you trying to market yourself and become an influencer like these guys do? Or are you actually trying to become a better version of yourself? More often than not, that work is not shared on camera. That work is done in in silence and in private. And when there is no music in your headphones or a podcast in your ear. That work is done when your head is on your pillow at night and you're staring at the ceiling and you can't sleep and you know the very thing that is keeping you up and you're telling yourself, should I address it? Do I give it the, the, the stage that it deserves? Do I say these things out loud? I am someone that is a firm believer in the energy of speaking something, not like speaking it into existence. I think that's I'm not going down that role because I know the stigma that that phrase gets. But I I've gone through some things recently where I myself have known about them internally for say three to four months. But I finally had the comfort to speak about them. And this was like some relationship stuff with friends and even my parents too as well. And in doing so, something I've been holding in for like two to three months, saying it over the course of like two to three days with the people that I love and care about and hear and getting their opinions and having them Offer, you know, advice, feedback, just. Or just being an ear for me to speak to and just articulate these thoughts out loud. That has done so much work for what. So much for me and what I've been actively trying to work on than me, you know, changing my routine or doing something differently internally that I've seen online or some work for someone else. I think a lot of people are afraid to do. A lot of the work that starts with yourself begins from within, and you have to do those things from within. Not everything can be fixed because you know how to bench 225. I can bench 225. I have a lot of shit that's going wrong in my world. I can. I threw up 225 for the first time last summer. Last summer was one of the worst summers I'd ever had. Just because you're strong doesn't mean your. Your. Your strength is beyond the physical. A lot of people that are incredibly strong and physically strong are actually doing that because that seems to be the only thing they control in their life, is how big can I get, how much mass can I add on to my frame? That's my outward showing of success. But you never actually address the internal issues and the internal struggles that you have that we all have. I'm not special or different than anybody else that's going through something. I'm constantly going through problems. But you, you'd be a fool to think that those problems will be solved by someone else online that has all problems of their own. I guess I'll leave you with that. All right, it's that time of the episode. Let's get into some voicemails. Remember, call this number to get in contact with me, your intrusive thought therapist at 877-557SWP. I found a very specific voicemail that when I heard, I didn't think it was right for me to just answer on my own. And in a situation as delicate as this voicemail is, I wanted to call in someone who I often lean on for difficult conversations in my life. So I basically got my mom on board here. So let's. Let's play this voicemail together.

Jazz June (31:37)

Hey, Julian, what's up? My name is Jazz June, 34. Originally from Florida. I moved to San Diego, like 2018, a bit of a crossroads and just needed advice. I live by myself. I'm that guy that reached out to you on your life about just be constantly getting let down by failed potential relationships. And I just been really down lately. And I checked myself into a mental hospital Because I was thinking way too negatively and I wasn't sleeping well and having a hard time wanting to be here. So a little nervous about going back to work. I work on a naval base out here and I let my job know that what happened and I know I have to go back at least by tomorrow. And how do I carry myself when everybody knows I'm not well and not feel judged? I don't know. I'm. I just wish I could just take some time off and take care of my mental. But just some advice that really help. I hope you hear this would really appreciate it because I just don't know who to talk to. Unfortunately therapy. I can't get any therapy until like another week from now. So any advice would really mean a lot. I'm still not doing well mentally but I'm trying to keep myself around friends and been having friends come to my place and talk to me. So any help would be amazing.

Mom (33:13)

Can you tell me what he said? How he described what prompted him to. Did he. Did he check himself in somewhere?

Julian (33:24)

He said he checked himself into a mental hospital. Basically he doesn't want to feel judged. I feel him because it's like you tell everybody what's going on but you also don't want them to overcompensate or treat you differently. And you're obviously hyper aware when that's happening. If someone's like being delicate with you or constantly checking in on how you're asking and it's like doesn't even if it's out of the goodness of their heart, it could seem disingenuous or just like a little performative because of your situation. I completely get that.

Mom (33:53)

Well, I want to say first to the young man that I really applaud him for wanting to speak in this kind of forum to be open about what is pain is about in terms of being able to recognize it and to know that he needed to seek treatment or help that was greater than him. These are the kinds of skills that a lot of people struggle to even get to in their lives. And he's only 34. I mean, you know, I'm speaking out of both sides of my mouth in that 34, you're an adult. But from where I'm sitting at the age I'm at, there's still so much more to learn about life and your own human condition. So bravo to him that he's already trying hard. Whether it's from a desperate cry for help and then knowing that he's going to need some sort of ongoing Support to shore him up beyond just the friend group and the family.

Julian (35:14)

Yeah, he's.

Mom (35:16)

He's going to get skills and tools that. That will help him. And I just want to put out there that if when he connects with a therapist and it's not the right fit, you move on to find the next therapist. Don't give up. So what happens now? Because he sounds like you're right, Julian, that he's still in a crisis mode of some sort. And ours, I don't know enough about the mental health system to understand how long they'll hold on to you in a clinical setting or when they decide that they have to release you even though the person isn't ready.

Julian (36:09)

Yeah.

Mom (36:10)

So great that he's having a friend come over. I think he needs to put the people he's closest to, hopefully there's a family member or another friend to put them on high alert so that he can text and call, reach out anytime he needs them, and they'll be there. Hopefully that'll happen for him.

Julian (36:37)

I think you're right. In terms. I want to go back to one of the first things you said about getting to the point of going to ask for help beyond your immediate friend group or family, which is. We've talked about what the stuff that I'm like, working on right now. For the second time in my life, I'm gonna try to get a therapist for very different reasons than the first time I tried to get one. But point is, like, I've relied so heavily on. I mean, you literally right now. I called you because I wanted your opinion on this, but I've relied so much on you and a very few select group of people, friends that I value. And in my life, that has been my, like, subsidized therapy. But that's not. I know that that's not. That's not the fix. Fix for whatever. That's not the method that I should be doing. That's not how I should have been going about this. I should have gone beyond the people I have access to and have gone the professional route. So, like, just to what you said for that he's already like, you know, not to try to compare here, but he's already, you know, a step or two ahead of me in terms of, like, actionably doing something to better himself beyond feeling like he's burdening his family and friends.

Mom (37:53)

And, you know, it's the kind of thing where the family and friends will always be there. That's that blanket that you can be wrapped in while you're in Therapy. But a therapist worth their weight in gold will recognize and help you pull out of yourself what's really underneath, whatever the symptom is or whatever he's presenting with and then provide tools and some sort of a structure from which he can feel that, oh, I'm feeling this and this is the source of it. And I now understand how I can respond to it in this moment. I mean, and that takes a long time for some people.

Julian (38:51)

Yeah.

Mom (38:52)

And some people get that quicker. But it. Nobody's keeping score. In other words, he's brave to know that I need something more than just that soft place to fall with my family and with my friends. And it really helps when family or friends say to you, I'm always going to be here for you. But I think there are things that you will be able to tease out and look at honestly with the right therapist. And we might be the source of some of your pain and your struggle and we have to take our ego out of it.

Julian (39:35)

Yeah. What, what about to his work?

Mom (39:38)

So going back to work. Yeah, let's talk about that. Yeah. So look there. I think we're in a much better place in society than we were when I was a young person and we had a very narrow view of mental health issues. We now understand that the brain as an organ can create its own diseases just the way from the neck down does. But I understand that it could feel embarrassing because I'd love to say that your boss isn't going to tell anybody and no one's going to know your business, but the truth is we know what it's like in a work environment also. So that's why I wanted to lead.

Julian (40:30)

He's at a naval base too. So the, you know.

Mom (40:33)

Yeah, it's a small world.

Julian (40:35)

Well, that. But also, I mean I'm just, I could just be projecting the, the energy that comes with like a military adjacent job career path is more of that macho manned manosphere energy.

Mom (40:50)

It could be, yes. It used to always be. But. Or I'm sorry, generally was. But I'd like to think that it's a little more progressive now, but I really can't speak to that. I don't know. But here's what I think he needs to do. He needs to remind himself that he owes no one an explanation that he doesn't want to give one to should somebody question or make a comment, you know, the, the power of not saying anything in return. The power of I'm not discussing this or no. Can really send the message to the other person that you've overstepped a boundary. And I'm not in any way, shape or form obliged to explain myself. I would think that he. That's how I led with. He needs to be proud of himself.

Julian (41:56)

Yeah.

Mom (41:57)

As. No matter how much pain he's in, he knows well enough that he needed the help and still needs the help. And for all we know, Julian, there are people at work are struggling with the same thing or similar issues, and without them ever admitting it to him, they're thinking, wow, he's getting the help. Maybe I really ought to do this. We never know. We have to have some faith that the people are still cheering on the person that wants to figure things out and get help. I also wondered if for this week, could he look into a support group where he could go to at night or when his day is done.

Julian (42:57)

Yeah. To fill that week of him not being able to do therapy, to not only rely on the friends and family. Is there something he can do on a smaller level that could be that.

Mom (43:11)

Yes.

Julian (43:12)

Yeah.

Mom (43:12)

I don't know if it's the hospital where he was or the facility. Is there a group that he could be an outpatient and come in, you know, kind of like that AA structure where there's support groups in his area where he could check in and get. Get that help. Tell them to call, keep calling into you.

Julian (43:36)

Yeah, that's true. Line's always open. You could always reach back out to me if this, if this works, if this really is something that, you know, is helping you throughout this process. Reach out to me. I think that's. That's great as well. Again, I'm not a professional, but. But if there is some peace or some comfort you get from. From this, then I'm glad that I at least have to play some part in that.

Mom (44:01)

Right, right. And I don't know what his. If there's anything faith based that he's into, you know, he could seek out the help of a. A mentor or an iman, a priest, a rabbi. I don't know.

Julian (44:25)

I mean, you know, this and people that. Listen, I'm not religious by any means, but I do know people that in similar situations who are also not religious will just go to a church or pre. Because I said this earlier in this episode, actually a lot of this stuff stems from just articulating it and speaking it and saying it. And whether that is to someone you know or someone you don't know, there's a lot of release that comes from just acknowledging it and giving something the space it needs. To exist like outside of your body. So if going to a priest or going to a confessional or whatever, however other religions do that I only know, like the, you know, Catholic, just sit in the booth and they have the partition there. If that's the release you need. Regardless of what the other person on the other side says, which I'm sure will be good things. And, you know, if they're saying, you know, put life in the hand of God, if you can choose to dismiss or whatever, leave with it what you will. But if it will just help you to talk to someone that you have no connection with, that has no, in no self interest in any way, just can be an ear for you to use, I think that could be a good help. Just go to a confessional and just like, let it fly and just like say how you feel.

Mom (45:44)

And can I also simply tell that when you were saying this, I thought of this. Wherever he had been in that medical environment, he could maybe go back and ask them if they know of a group therapy where he can participate for this week while he's waiting for the first session with a therapist. Yeah, you know what, what would, how would they help him put together some sort of a stopgap for the next seven days?

Julian (46:20)

Yeah. Cause that is a long time. If you're going through this. It is difficult. Oh, you say a week in another context, you're like, oh, that's fast. But when you're, you're eating yourself up mentally and, you know, I'm sure the nights are long and you probably are sleeping like shit. Like these things, they compound and that by that second, third day, you're probably like, I gotta do something.

Mom (46:43)

Absolutely. And we don't know what the diagnosis was and it's none of our business. We just know that he's strong enough to say, I still need help and I've got something lined up, but I'm still not better and every moment feels heavy for me. So you're just trying to put together some recommendations for him to. Building a safety net.

Julian (47:13)

Yeah.

Mom (47:14)

And going back to work. Let's say this again. I mean, you're right. Articulating it is. We always say it's half the battle when you're finally allowing yourself to be transparent. But, you know, in a worse situation, he's obligated to let his boss know where he's been.

Julian (47:37)

Well, he said, he said they know. They are aware.

Mom (47:40)

Yeah. But he has no control over what the gossip is. And so that's where I, I feel really bad about that, but I Don't want to get lost or distracted by that. Just remember that. You know, I don't. I don't want to say on what I say about people to you sometimes, but, you know, when people's motives are pure or aren't kind, you just have to, like, shelve them. Just keep telling yourself that's on them. Oh, that's that famous line now from that one woman who. Mel Gibbs. Mel. Not Mel Gibson, the actress. Mel Robbins. But it is, it is on them. Those words coming out of their mouths. And we're expecting that they're going to say negative stuff, but maybe they won't. Please try not to give that any weight.

Julian (48:42)

My experience with. Not to what he's talking about, but I'm trying to even, like, put these into my world or my terms. Like when I was waning off of like, like the drug stuff or even like in January when I did my dry January, my whole thing was, I don't want my friends and the people I know or people I work with like to treat me differently or change their behavior because I'm trying to be a change of something about myself. I'm trying to better myself. So I would jokingly say to my friends, like, do all the drugs you want. Like, don't. Don't be like, oh, shit, Julian's here. We can't do this anymore. Like, we got to, you know, let's wait till he's out of the room. I never want to be like, the reason people, you know, need to also modify, modify. I don't want to be.

Mom (49:29)

Yes.

Julian (49:29)

I don't want to be the reason why. Like, I walk into the room and suck the air out of it because I'm no longer this version. It's like, life goes on. I'm just address. I'm just saying this out loud and I'm changing this for myself. But I'm not here to up the environment that works for everybody else. And I think that's kind of what he's saying about work too, is he's like, I know I'm going through some shit and it's difficult and this sucks for me, but it's for me to work on, which he is doing in the week, therapy happening. The mental thing, like, I'm working on it. I got it. I believe in myself to become a better version of myself. In the meantime, don't bend the knee and become like this, like, weird, like, caretaker or giver. If it's, you know, I just, I understand that side of things. Nor like, yeah, if it Goes that route. And then the other route is what you were saying, like if they start, you know, talking about him on his back or like bullying her, make a fun of him, which is like, that's corny as. But people do that. So then that's the other option. But I don't know.

Mom (50:29)

Well, I. I think you're right that if he's hearing you describe, it could either be where people are tiptoeing around you or adjusting their way that they're handling you anymore, or they're talking about you behind your back. You know, this is Primary School 101. Something as serious as what he's struggling with or something that seems so minor. Maybe you had to get glasses and now they're going to call you four eyes in school. It's all hurtful. It's relative to how old we are and when it's happening. But the same advice you'd give that little boy in. In third grade is the same advice I'd give a young man who's carrying a heavy weight right now and trying to work through it and. And understand himself and get the help that he needs. So you have to. All that noise. He's got to work really hard at, you know, keeping himself insulated from that noise and maybe have a mantra where he says, that says more about that person than it says anything about me.

Julian (51:58)

Yeah.

Mom (51:59)

And that's why, if he could have some phone support group support, friend and family support, not just for this week, but. But just during those times when the quiet makes his mind, his brain tells stories to him that makes his pain come back. You know, that's. That's. I've learned a lot about how the brain always wants to go back, pull you back to what's familiar. And familiar isn't always healthy.

Julian (52:37)

Yeah.

Mom (52:38)

So you're. You're rewiring your brain with the help of a therapist. It gives you the tools to do this.

Julian (52:45)

Yeah.

Mom (52:47)

Anyway, I'm. I wish him all the best. I do.

Julian (52:50)

Same man. And, yeah, we're. I'm. I'm here. And now my mom's here, too, pulling her in anytime.

Mom (52:58)

And we don't have to do it in this form. If he calls in and you want me to, you know, we'll give more advice with you. We'll do it.

Julian (53:06)

Yeah.

Mom (53:06)

But remember, I'm. I'm just a mom.

Julian (53:09)

Honey, you're more than that. Okay? I'll. I'm gonna finish this episode. I'll. I'll call you back. I love you. Thank you, love.

Mom (53:17)

All right, Take care.

Julian (53:18)

Bye.

Mom (53:18)

Bye.

Julian (53:19)

Bye. Oh. Gotta love you, Mom. Mom's a hero. Well, guys, we. We made it. Episode 10 is in the books. You got to watch me dunk my face in water a few times. We talked about manhood, fragility, Snow White, you heard from my mom, and she gave some amazing advice, as she always does, in the celebratory spirit. I'm going to do one more dunk here on camera, and then I'm going to get out of here. Guys, I love you all. Thank you so much for joining me on this journey. We are 10 weeks in. I'm excited for the following 10 and the more weeks to come. It really means a lot to me, guys, and I love you. And yeah, I'll be in all a next week. If you're around, hit me up. I'm trying to play some basketball, trying to, you know, circle some sun, see some friends. I will be outside. I will be in the streets of la. You know, I'm good on the west coast, unlike some other people that we may know. All right. Love y'all. Peace. Nothing wrong with the pussy.