Americas Shoe | Son of a Boy Dad #413

Summary

Son of a Boy Dad #413: “America’s Shoe” (June 25, 2026)

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Episode Overview

In this episode of Son of a Boy Dad, the crew leans into their signature off-kilter humor and camaraderie, musing on Americana, travel, friendship, and the small indignities and adventures of growing up. Topics range from the origins of "America's shoe", the perils and rituals of travel, and debates about manhood and independence, all punctuated with playful ribbing and anecdotes. The episode also features extensive banter over Dave Portnoy’s new autobiography, and ridiculous tangents about European sodas, bowling as character development, and whether going to a movie or restaurant alone is more “depressing.”

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Key Highlights & Breakdown

1. Present Tuesday & Dave Portnoy’s Book (03:11—13:36)

• “Present Tuesday” Ritual: Dave surprises Ron and Francis with early copies of his soon-to-be-released autobiography Cancel Me If You Can.
• Book Banter:
  • Dave flexes with a “little subtle flex” as he gifts the books (03:25).
  • They riff on Dave’s writing: “It is all Dave’s work. I mean, truly, of course. … There’s stuff in there that I would have been like, ‘I don’t know,’ and he was like, ‘No, this is the truth and this is what I want.’”(12:16, Dave)
  • Francis mocks a flowery sentence about Alex Cooper as definitively not written by Dave, but by Francis:

    "If she presented ditzy, it was intentional. Behind the facade of lip gloss and platinum blonde highlights stood an ambitious, enterprising woman..." (08:23, Dave reading)

  • They highlight wild stories from Barstool lore, including Sophia Franklin physically wrestling Spider at a Christmas party (07:00).

2. Norway Soccer, Viking Genetics & The Rowing Culture (15:38—19:59)

• Travel Anecdote:
  Francis and Ron discuss attending a Norway vs. Senegal soccer match; Ron tries to assimilate with Norwegians.
• Viking Lore and Inbreeding:
  “If they were so proficient at taking what they wanted, why are they so genetically specific?” (17:24, Francis) The crew riffs on inbreeding in Iceland and how locals seek out foreigners to avoid accidental incest (17:40–18:09).

3. European Sodas and Outdated Brands (20:01—22:02)

• Soda Export Theory:
  Ron speculates that failed American sodas, like “Dr. Pepper for Men,” end up saturating Icelandic or Norwegian markets (20:04–21:44).

4. Going to Movies & Restaurants Alone (23:13—26:25)

• Solo Activities Mini-Debate:
  “Going to a horror movie alone at the theater is really dark behavior.” (24:03, Dave)
  Ron prefers movies alone, Dave prefers eating solo at a bar.

5. Bar Stories & Beat Poet Aspirations (27:00—32:10)

• Old Drinking Days:
  Ron recalls going to bars solo, conversing with elderly strangers, and getting kicked out of Kettle of Fish for jukebox shenanigans (29:30).
• Beat Poet Fantasy: “I was like, ‘I'm a beat. Like, I'm a, I'm like a poet, dude’” (31:01, Ron)

6. American Shoes Debate (46:15—49:51)

• Ultimate “American Shoe?” Faceoff:
  Ron and Bo’s childhood argument: New Balance vs. Converse.
  • “New Balance is number one on this AI slot list.” (49:01, Francis)
• Origin Myths: They puzzle over shoe company roots—Hey Dudes (Italy then Crocs), Converse (Massachusetts), Crocs (Boulder, Colorado).

7. Travel Mishaps and Global Entry Agita (50:44—81:32)

• Locked-out in Rain:
  Ron recounts getting trapped outside in a “biblical” downpour due to forgotten keys (50:44–51:34)
• Travel Logistics:
  • The hassle and value of Global Entry, TSA PreCheck, and traveling with kids.
  • “Global entry includes TSA PreCheck. You get both. That’s why it’s so valuable.” (80:33, Dave)
• European Football vs. SEC Football:
  Francis compares the vibe of European soccer to SEC football—“No one was stumbling, falling over drunk…It left me craving more football” (53:34–54:09)

8. Wyoming Camping Trip Face-off (70:54—77:16)

• Manhood, Glam vs. Rugged:
  Ron laments the annual escalation from “glamping” ambitions into increasingly grueling wilderness with his friends—fighting for the right to end the trip in a hotel rather than “smelling like buns” on the plane (72:56, Francis).
• Peer Pressure Principle: “Every year we say, ‘We’re not getting a hotel,’ and every year, by the second night, they’re like, ‘How much would a hotel be?’” (73:31, Ron)

9. Trolling, Revenge Fantasies & Parent-Son Podcast Vibes (61:04—68:00)

• Tutor Rivalry: Dave airs his feud with a persistent Instagram troll/tutor, plotting petty revenge via fake negative online reviews:

  “My issue is that it’s his real account…and he owns a tutoring company…Sam’s tutoring company.” (61:12, Dave)

  • Ron and Francis counsel letting it go (63:07, Ron/F), but Dave remains obsessed with “winning” the interaction.
• Meta-Podcast Observations:
  “That’s basically what this podcast is now—except you’re sober.” (28:02, Francis)
• Self-Awareness & Sarcasm: Extensive bits on being wrong (49:51, Ron/Francis) and the kind of “dad” Ron has become for the pod.

10. Fan Gatekeeping, Bandwagoning, and Sports Fandom (57:08—60:39)

• Annoyance with “Fake” Sports Fans: “That’s why anyone who knows more than anyone else wants it to be known that, ‘I’m a bigger fan than you are…I deserve this more than you.’ And I hate that.” (57:49, Francis)
• Gatekeeping Mocked:
  “You just watch TV…You’re a different level autist.” (57:56, Ron)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Bowling as a Team Building Activity:

  "Somehow bowling really, like, emphasizes every way that I'm not athletic. It combines all of them into one and then it’s just like one bowling stroke." (36:46, Ron)

• On American Shoes:

  "New Balance is number one on that one on this AI slot list." (49:01, Francis) "Converse…Massachusetts.” (48:41, Ron)

• On Growing Up/Manhood:

  “Every year I push for an Airbnb... so we don’t gotta think about surviving.” (71:38, Ron)

• On Book Pride:

  "I am proud of it. I'm proud of having been part of it in some way. I don't really know whether or not I was like a net positive or not, but I still am pleased to have helped, hopefully." (05:38, Dave)

• On Travel Mishaps:

  “You hit your peak [wetness]? ... I was wearing heavy jeans. Those don’t feel good.” (51:51–51:56, Dave/Ron)

• On Podcast’s Self-Awareness:

  "That's the whole show." (49:31, Ron)

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Fun Miscellaneous Moments & Deep Cuts

• Bukowski and Beat Writers (32:10—33:33):
  Ron reflects on reading Bukowski and Kerouac and the dangers of romanticizing a nihilist lifestyle.
• Pop Culture Parallels: Summer House vs. Barstool house reality show; Love Island discussed as the “alpha predator” now in reality TV.
• Pet Adoption/Ethics Jokes:
  “All those dogs he rescues, he just kills. … Dave has been wearing a lot of dog skin coats lately.” (87:02, Francis)
• DIY Passport Solutions:
  “If I ever need to get a last minute passport again, I’m going to an ethnic enclave of New York…It’s so nice.” (81:51–82:45, Francis)
• ‘America’s Shoe’ Core Argument:
  Childhood debates on New Balance versus Converse—determined to settle which brand is "America’s Shoe”. (46:15–49:51, see above)

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Time-Stamped Notable Segments

• 03:13 — “Present Tuesday” and Dave’s book debut
• 08:23 — Read-aloud: Alex Cooper blurb
• 15:38 — Soccer in Norway, Viking genetics
• 20:01 — “European soda dump” theory
• 24:03 — Solo movie/theater dining debate
• 31:01 — Ron’s “beat poet” phase
• 36:41 — Bowling skills crisis
• 46:15 — Deep dive: what is the most “American shoe”?
• 50:44 — Ron’s rain-soaked key disaster
• 70:54 — Wyoming camping vs. hotel standoff
• 80:33 — The eternal value of Global Entry

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Overall Tone & Takeaways

The episode’s blend of nostalgia, irreverence, and self-effacing humor hammers home Son of a Boy Dad’s appeal: life’s annoyances and ambitions are best handled with self-deprecation, a dash of sincerity, and relentless friendship. Fans will find plenty of “inside baseball” and playful myth-busting about both the hosts’ lives and Barstool’s lore, as well as spirited (and unserious) debates about shoes, American-ness, travel, and what it means to be an adult-ish man in 2026.

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For listeners new and old:
This episode is a quintessential slice of “Son of a Boy Dad”—loose, honest, barely filtered, and always, somehow, circling back to whether New Balance or Converse is the real America’s Shoe.

Transcript

[Francis]

Hey son of a boy. Dad Listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.

[Ron]

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[Dave]

Today's episode is presented by our partners at Chase Sapphire Preferred. One thing Ron and I can agree on is that a lot of our spending tends to revolve around food and travel. Whether it's trying out a new restaurant, loading up on groceries, or booking a trip, those purchases add up. That's one reason the Chase Sapphire Preferred card stands out. Card members can earn up to 3x points on dining, online, groceries, gas stations and EV charging, plus 5x points on travel through Chase Travel and 3x points on vacation home rentals through top brands like Airbnb and vrbove.

[Francis]

Basically, it rewards a lot of the things I'm already spending money on anyway.

[Dave]

Exactly. And with all these new benefits, the annual fee is still just $95. To learn more about the Chase Sapphire Preferred card, go to chase.com Sapphire preferred that's chase.com Sapphire preferred cards issued by JP Morgan, Chase Bank NA member FDIC subject to credit approval terms apply Foreign.

[Ron]

You guys ready to rip?

[Francis]

Yeah, of course.

[Ron]

All Are we good to go? Oh, all righty. Welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad Podcast. Today It's Tuesday. It's June 23rd, I believe. If I recall, yesterday was the 22nd, making today, the 23rd.

[Francis]

Wow.

[Ron]

And we are here live from HQ. Kid Tres.

[Dave]

You guys know what it means, right?

[Ron]

It's Present Tuesday.

[Dave]

You know what it means, and it's Tuesday.

[Ron]

I got a feeling it's Present Tuesday.

[Dave]

Present Tuesday. This is not the present. That's just my book. But I have presents for you both.

[Ron]

Little subtle flex.

[Dave]

I have a present for both of you. You ready for this?

[Ron]

Yeah, I'm pumped.

[Francis]

Oh,

[Dave]

no. Oh. Oh. Oh, my God. Each of you gets a cop.

[Francis]

Ironically, TFT was making the same point I was make to our employees. Put the ball in the tee for our enemies. Wow. That's a gem right there.

[Dave]

The autobiography of Dave Portnoy. Cancel me if you can. It is not even out yet. It's coming out in a week on June 29. You can reserve or purchase a copy in advance today, which you should do.

[Francis]

When I hired little Sasquatch, I thought, man, this kid is not only weak, he's gay, too.

[Dave]

Yeah, I. I wrote that.

[Francis]

What? I thought we were done using gay as a disparaging term.

[Dave]

So, yeah, this is the book.

[Francis]

Wow. Unbelievable. Josh Richards has three chapters.

[Ron]

Really?

[Francis]

What the hell? This picture.

[Ron]

Oh, that's funny.

[Dave]

So that's the book.

[Francis]

They got the pictures right in the middle of it.

[Ron]

Yeah, I wanted to see if I

[Dave]

had pictures all throughout.

[Francis]

Anti disestablishmentarianism. This has to be a U word. Francis.

[Dave]

No, I. I haven't used that word since I learned how to spell it in third grade.

[Francis]

Numana. Ultra Microscopic chicks. Silicon volcano. Coniosis. Wow.

[Ron]

I wanted to see if I had a. I had a book that I was gonna.

[Francis]

You were gonna go book for book?

[Ron]

I was gonna go book for book, but I got. I guess I took it out of my backpack.

[Dave]

It's the silliest thing I've ever heard. I actually wondered to myself, I was like, I'm gonna give Harry this book, and what will he do with it?

[Ron]

Read it. Read it multiple times. I'm probably going to read it a couple times today.

[Francis]

Honestly, I'll be done by the time I finish recording.

[Dave]

It's a great summer read. It really is.

[Ron]

What's that hardcover look like?

[Francis]

What's this retail for? 36.99. I'll be selling this for32.32 bucks or

[Dave]

something like that, but on Amazon, it's a little less.

[Francis]

Wow. Do you have pride in this book coming out?

[Dave]

I was wondering if you were going to ask me that. Actually, I have. I have. I am proud of it. I'm proud of having been part of it in some way. I don't really know whether or not I was like a net positive or not, but I still am pleased to have helped, hopefully. And I really wanted to do well, so that's for sure. So honestly, like, I'm proud of you for it. There's some great stuff. I mean, it's. I don't know. I like the book. I've read it like 100 times now. And the new version. Yeah, of course it's funny. It's. There's some crazy shit in here that people don't know about. I think a lot of the, like, business dealings behind the pen deal the bush. Yeah. The. Some of this stuff, the caller daddy stuff. Revisiting Grudgement Day. If you've been a fan of barstool for a while, there's a. There's some great nostalgia as well as, like, you know, call it like behind the scenes DVD stuff of. Of some of the amazing moments that we've had. There's funny descriptions of, like, the key players, you know.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Throughout the course of the company, you get a real look inside Dave's brain and he doesn't hold back at all.

[Francis]

Story that he was telling the other day of Sophia Franklin pinning Spider on the ground outside of the Christmas party.

[Ron]

Yeah, I thought that one was never getting out, to be honest. I was shocked to see that online. Yeah, that was crazy.

[Francis]

And that's not. I don't think that's the only story of her that night.

[Ron]

No, dude, I remember hearing that story, like, right when I got hired and being like, damn, that's crazy.

[Francis]

Like, I'm not gonna have to wrestle her. Am I gonna have to get in the fucking ring with Franklin?

[Ron]

I heard Spider held his own, so that's good.

[Francis]

No, he had her in a leg lock.

[Ron]

Yeah. Yeah. Eight leg lock took her down.

[Francis]

Yeah, he had her in the arachnid clutch. Thank you so much.

[Dave]

Buy the book and enjoy it. Some fun.

[Francis]

Look at the picture on the back. I don't think. Has anyone seen the picture on the back yet? Peaches and Pete.

[Ron]

I like the picture on the back.

[Francis]

Really nice stuff.

[Dave]

I think a portion of each book goes towards animal rescue centers.

[Ron]

Would you say you're a Peaches man or a Pete man?

[Dave]

You know, every time I've met Peaches, she's snuggled up to me and wanted love. Pete's pretty loving too, but I. I just think that. I don't know. It's hard not to have your heart melt.

[Francis]

With Peaches, Pete will just chase a tennis ball all day, though.

[Ron]

That's one thing I know about Dog.

[Francis]

He's a. I'm definitely a Pete guy. We just give us a sentence. Just a one sentence out of context.

[Dave]

Okay. Alex Cooper was a self starter, not just a pretty talking head. She was far more than met the eye and had a vision for herself that extended beyond the podcast. She was thinking long term, finding missing pieces of the zeitgeist and filling them in a way no one else had. If she presented ditzy, it was intentional. Behind the facade of lip gloss and platinum blonde highlights stood an ambitious, enterprising woman with a fierce belief in herself and a willingness to learn whatever skills necessary to become the absolute titan we now know her to be.

[Francis]

That's a Francis sentence. That is a million percent of Francis sentence. No, I'd actually. There's no way that Dave could have put all those.

[Dave]

None of my work is in the book. I didn't. Nothing. I'm not in it at all.

[Francis]

It could not have been.

[Ron]

That's a hint behind.

[Francis]

That's a hint of lip gloss.

[Ron]

Yeah, that's a splash Francis for sure.

[Francis]

Oh, my God.

[Dave]

I didn't have anything to do with.

[Francis]

That was a heavy. Poor Francis. That wasn't a splash.

[Ron]

That was. That was a double. That was a double.

[Francis]

That was a double. That was a quad. That was a quad Francis.

[Dave]

I've heard that there's some very funny things that he says in the. The audio book. So that's another way you can get the book. And he reads it himself, which is great. Let's see.

[Francis]

No wonder it took him so long to read it. It's your sentences.

[Dave]

No, no, no, no, no. It's really not. I promise.

[Francis]

I'm just joking. I'm joking. Dave knows I love to joke, and I'll be glazing him like he was glazing Cooper in that sentence.

[Ron]

I have nothing to say. I think the book's great and I'm excited to read it.

[Dave]

I'm looking for the one other sentence of mine that remained.

[Francis]

It's in there somewhere. It's somewhere deep in there. How did you get these? Who sent these out to you?

[Ron]

He stole them from Barnes and Noble this morning.

[Dave]

These haven't come out yet. They sent me a. They sent me a. A box of 10 of them as a gift for what I do, for

[Francis]

the work, as your payment. There's ten you could try to sell, man.

[Dave]

It was funny.

[Francis]

Ten is funny. What? What? What do they want? They want you to give them out.

[Ron]

What if they send you, like, an Absurd amount. Just like thousands coming to your apartment.

[Francis]

All I do is piling up your garage. Is there heavier than your obsidian table that's cracking through the floor?

[Dave]

All right, one last sentence. Okay. Before stoola palooza, I didn't have a clue whether barstool sports had traction on college campuses. Within five minutes of arriving on campus at UMass, I realized that barstool sports was bigger than I had ever expected. The next generation had found us. They weren't just reading barstool, they were gigantic fans. It felt like a movement. Everybody at UMass knew who I was and was happy to see me, happy to see Sammy Adams. It was surreal. Now UMass is a powder keg of a campus. It doesn't take much of a spark for the students to go from controlled fun to an all out blitz that borders on booze fueled rioting. They actually take pride in this, affectionately referring to themselves as zoomass. When we showed up at Hobart, we didn't bring a spark. We brought a barrel of napalm.

[Ron]

Whoa.

[Dave]

Thousands of kids were going nuts around us. People started throwing bottles, climbing onto roofs, telephone poles, executing daring wrestling moves from tree branches. It was like they wanted to prove to us that we had chosen the right place to build our nascent live concert business. Not that I needed any convincing. And as we drew nearer to concert time, it felt like the zoo knew that feeding time was near.

[Francis]

Good God. So they just took your name off it.

[Dave]

I'm literally like, read two of the sentences that. That state. But it is. It is all Dave's work. I mean, truly, of course. I'm not just saying that, like, there. There's stuff in there that I would have been like, I don't know. And he was like, no, this is the truth and this is what I want. So that's what you get.

[Francis]

Yeah. The amount of meetings and zoom calls where you guys would sit in and go over everything with, like, Paul and everybody, like, kind of judging the memory of it all was a lot of work that you put in. So I want to applaud you for the amount of effort that it took.

[Dave]

You're very kind. No, I mean, I did all this work over a year, and then Dave redid it in six weeks, so.

[Ron]

Well, it seems like he used a good outline that you had. Maybe, but I mean, if he left full sentences in.

[Dave]

No, I think it was always going to just be chronological. And what was good was that my sort of path that I cut jogged loose some additional memories that, you know, have added a lot, but I'm Telling you. I mean, there were so many things that I asked him about that. Like, even in his responses, we didn't. They weren't there. You know what I mean?

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Dave]

And then in reading what I had done, he remembered, like, oh, this happened. And this happened. So. It's hard, I think, when you're. You okay. I thought you were gonna throw up.

[Francis]

I should.

[Ron]

What the hell was that?

[Francis]

I just burped one time.

[Dave]

Oh, sorry.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

You.

[Ron]

It's like a. Yeah, it was like

[Francis]

I had to lean forward to burp and the mic was away from me, but the mic is also forward, so. Yeah, towards the mic. Yeah. But I can't burp. I can't burp. If I'm recumbent, I have to sit up to burp.

[Ron]

Makes sense. Makes sense.

[Francis]

But I didn't want. I wasn't. That wasn't intended to do.

[Dave]

No, no, no. I think that was a good reminder that I should talk anymore.

[Francis]

That's not what I did that for.

[Dave]

No, I know, but I know when I. That's God's way of be of being like, get put a muzzle on Francis Computer.

[Francis]

Put a burp in his stomach.

[Dave]

What is that guy? Can you explain that guy to me?

[Francis]

I mean, he's just a master level troll.

[Dave]

Who.

[Francis]

Computer Biden. Blast these people.

[Ron]

Oh, I don't think I've seen this.

[Francis]

He's. I mean, he just goes around and with people, he's like, computer, turn this dude's dick into a pretzel foam hard his ankles.

[Ron]

I love that.

[Francis]

My apologies. And he just fucks with people all day. He is truly hilarious. You know who I just ran onto on the streets? No cap on God, for real. Do you know. Do you know who that dude is?

[Ron]

Sounds familiar, though.

[Francis]

Last year at Pride, he someone. He like, went up to a woman and was like, when did you transition?

[Dave]

Oh.

[Francis]

And she. She was like, I never transitioned. She was like, I'm. I'm a real woman. He's like, no, of course you're a real woman. Like. But like, when it just does a masterful

[Ron]

no cap on God, for real.

[Francis]

You don't know this. You don't know this guy? I don't think that's hilarious because I

[Ron]

know no cap on God, but I don't think. I know no cap on God for real.

[Dave]

Kind of looks like you, Ron.

[Francis]

I wish, bro.

[Dave]

Oh, maybe not. Never mind. Ron, how was the Norway game last night?

[Ron]

Yeah, it looked sick. Yeah. Good game.

[Francis]

It was a really good game. I mean, the dude Holland who scored the two goals is a Absolute Vikings.

[Ron]

Were you doing the. Because I saw them doing it. Were you doing it?

[Francis]

I wanted to. I was trying to buy a jersey there. They don't have jerseys for sale at the stadium.

[Ron]

Oh, yeah, that's.

[Francis]

At best. They had, like a T shirt and I thought I was going to, like, one little stand, but I was going to try to assimilate with my Norwegian brothers.

[Ron]

So you didn't. You didn't hit one row?

[Francis]

I wasn't in the rowing section.

[Ron]

Oh, you got to start the rowing section yourself.

[Francis]

I was amongst, like, the waves. There were Senegalese near me.

[Ron]

Oh, God.

[Francis]

The Senegalese weren't.

[Ron]

You know, they're dying in a row as well.

[Francis]

They were jealous as hell.

[Ron]

Everyone wants to hit a row.

[Francis]

They definitely had to have been super jealous.

[Ron]

I saw it. I thought you were definitely hitting it because it didn't look like it was just Norwegians doing it.

[Francis]

It was mostly Norwegians. Did you see the video I posted? It's like all dudes in red. It's exclusively people in red.

[Ron]

Yeah, but a lot of them look like they were just like people that just got jersey.

[Francis]

I don't know. I think that these are like legit wages.

[Ron]

You think?

[Francis]

Yes, I think that they travel. I don't think you can be.

[Ron]

They travel with the team.

[Dave]

So are they known for rowing? Why? Is that their thing?

[Francis]

I think it's Viking Viking lore.

[Dave]

Yeah, sure.

[Francis]

But did, like, what did. Where did the Vikings row to?

[Ron]

Iceland, Europe.

[Dave]

Like mainland Europe. They came down from Scandinavia and pillaged and raped France, Spain, Germany, Belgium.

[Ron]

They don't include that in the row.

[Dave]

Right.

[Ron]

Nothing about the raping.

[Francis]

Now, if they were so profound, proficient at taking what they thought to be theirs, why are they so genetically specific? Do you know what I mean?

[Ron]

Because they're spreading their seat.

[Francis]

Huh.

[Ron]

Aren't they all inbred?

[Francis]

I don't know.

[Dave]

The Icelandic were.

[Ron]

Yeah, they are. Big time. Like 50.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Yeah. That's why they all have, like, those. The eyes.

[Ron]

Didn't you say that? You told me. I remember when I was going there, you told me, you were like. You were like, everyone in Iceland's related.

[Dave]

Yeah, they. They. What I had read was that they are attracted to and seize upon hooking up with foreigners because it's a guarantee

[Ron]

that they're not related.

[Dave]

That they're not hooking up with someone they're related to.

[Ron]

Yes, that's what you told me. I remember that.

[Francis]

That's insane.

[Dave]

Which is why it wasn't great that I look like them, because girls were quite standoff.

[Francis]

Surely we're related.

[Ron]

No, I'm from Maine.

[Francis]

Yeah. Oh, the mainland.

[Dave]

Hi there. Hi there. Would you like to have a beer?

[Ron]

A Coors Light, perhaps?

[Francis]

Skull. Yeah. I don't know why, I don't know why they have such a rowing, a rowing culture, but it did make me want to go to Norway. I'll watch like the 4K walk around videos of Oslo and it does look like a very beautiful and modern city.

[Dave]

Yeah, I've been to Oslo.

[Francis]

What's it like?

[Dave]

Stunning. It's really clean, really nice. Everyone's beautiful. It's expensive in a way that, like, feels broken.

[Ron]

What do you mean?

[Dave]

I remember going to a 711 and getting a Snapple juice and it was like $13.

[Sponsor Voice]

What?

[Ron]

Oh, yeah.

[Dave]

And I was like, what the fuck? At a convenience store.

[Francis]

That's inconvenient.

[Dave]

It was.

[Ron]

That's insane. $13 in the face?

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Is that because of tariffs or imports?

[Dave]

I mean, that was in 2013, maybe 2012.

[Ron]

It's got to be the imports, right? Because like, Iceland, everything was insanely expensive. Not that expensive, though.

[Francis]

Yeah, they're probably so beautiful that they don't manufacture any of their own things.

[Dave]

I guess not.

[Ron]

No, they don't do. When I went to Iceland, dude, they, they're, they're big on.

[Francis]

See, you keep talking about Iceland. We're not talking about Iceland.

[Dave]

We moved on from Iceland.

[Ron]

What are we talking about? Norway.

[Francis]

Norway.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

Same thing.

[Dave]

No, it's not same. No ice people are not attractive. Norwegians are very attractive.

[Francis]

Come on.

[Ron]

It's the same. I'll just pretend I'm talking about Norway.

[Francis]

Okay. When you went to Norway,

[Ron]

they drink a lot of soda that it seems like we don't drink here. And it seems like they got some sort of discount deal and we like gave it all to them. You know what I'm talking about? I swear to God, bro, they got. Well, the thing is, I can't even. I don't think I can say the name of the soda. But yeah, it was like. It was like a soda that came out in America when I was young. I remember it coming out and I remember everyone being like this.

[Francis]

You can say the name of the soda.

[Ron]

I don't think I can.

[Dave]

Since when do you get cold feet about offending a sponsor?

[Ron]

Since, Since I feel like my job's on the line. No, but yeah, no one drank it. And then they, I think I, I, I. It's a theory. I'm not sure if it's real, but it seems like they gave it.

[Dave]

Contraband spill out of your Backpack ten minutes ago.

[Ron]

Well, I mean, that's just common mistake.

[Francis]

Yeah, it's just smuggling. So it's like when they send boxes

[Ron]

of like, it's like a magic new T shirts to literally. Literally that.

[Francis]

But exactly like RC Cola.

[Ron]

Like, remember when like they did like Dr. Pepper for Men? You remember that?

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ron]

You don't remember Dr. Pepper for Men? It was like. It was like, this is for men only.

[Dave]

Why?

[Ron]

No one knew. That was the whole point. It was like it's just regular documentary.

[Francis]

It was just like. It was a marketing campaign. Yeah, it was just a marketing campaign

[Ron]

of like no girls allowed. And it would be like that, like that didn't really do anything. Didn't really make any waves. And then it'll be like, if we just gave all that to Iceland for maybe like a million bucks.

[Francis]

I'm sure that happens.

[Ron]

I think that is what happened. Dude, they had billboards of a.

[Dave]

Of a.

[Ron]

Of a drink that I have not seen in years.

[Francis]

Really?

[Ron]

Billboards of it. And it was the only diet soda that you could find anywhere.

[Francis]

Maybe they had just gotten it over there.

[Ron]

I don't know.

[Francis]

Maybe it was late. Some cultures are just late behind us. Like Canada's five years behind, England's 10 years behind, and Australia is 15 years behind.

[Ron]

Australia is 15 years behind.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Ron]

So what do they not have like Facebook yet?

[Francis]

They're hoping for it.

[Dave]

Papawa, New guinea is 150 years.

[Ron]

Well, that's a completely remote island, isn't it? Isn't that the one with all the tribes?

[Dave]

They're still eating people.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ron]

That place, I think if. I think that might be like. Imagine like if waking up on that island, I think is my worst nightmare ever.

[Francis]

I don't think you have to worry about it.

[Ron]

It's possible.

[Dave]

It's not so bad.

[Ron]

What do you mean? They're covered in like, mud. Have you seen that? Where they're like, covered in mud, blending in with like the waterfalls and shit. And they're like. They'll eat you. But why does there's like a guy with like the meta glasses on?

[Francis]

You're not gonna wake up on that island, though. That's like me being afraid of like getting sucked into a wormhole or waking up on Mars.

[Dave]

Yeah. Wait, you wake up on the other side of the world, I guess maybe

[Ron]

like be on a boat that's accidentally drifting in that direction as the. As the bows are flying in over our heads.

[Francis]

Yeah. You're not at risk of that.

[Ron]

The blow darts.

[Francis]

That's unreal. You have to run to a waterfall and, like, dive off to escape low darts. Yeah, that's one of my great fears as well.

[Ron]

Speaking of. Speaking of fears, I went and I saw Obsession last night.

[Dave]

Oh, the one we were after after my.

[Ron]

After my friends denied going with me multiple times.

[Francis]

We didn't deny. We just had work. We had work to do at 9. 00pm or we had a work dinner, the three of us.

[Ron]

Yeah, exactly.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Ron]

You guys decided dinner over the movie. That's fine. Nothing wrong with that.

[Francis]

We had to eat.

[Ron]

I had to go see the movie.

[Francis]

You were slurping down octopus tentacle like it was. I had to go see on Earth.

[Ron]

It was pretty good. It was pretty scary. It wasn't as scary as I thought it was going to be, though, which I feel like is kind of a reoccurring thing.

[Dave]

Maybe. Maybe just your tolerance for scary is getting higher.

[Ron]

I think I build up the movies in my head, like, this is going to change my life.

[Dave]

You don't have to say if this is weird, but are you going to these movies alone?

[Ron]

No. No.

[Dave]

Okay. Thank God. Because going to a horror movie alone at the theater is really dark behavior.

[Francis]

That's the scare. That's scarier than any movie.

[Ron]

I don't even think that's that, but I don't think that's that weird. I've gone to movies alone.

[Dave]

I've gone to movies alone.

[Ron]

I think I've gone to scary movies. My buddy, my one of my buddies saw that movie by himself.

[Francis]

That's one of my greatest fears. Waking up in Obsession alone.

[Ron]

Going to the movies alone is fun.

[Dave]

It's great. It's not that great.

[Ron]

I like it.

[Dave]

Depends.

[Francis]

Would you guys rather go to a movie alone or go and eat alone?

[Dave]

Oh, eat alone every day of the week, buddy boy.

[Ron]

Movie alone for sure.

[Francis]

Set your case.

[Ron]

If I'm gonna eat alone, I mean, I guess you could make this argument for the movie too, but if I'm gonna eat alone, I would rather just eat at my apartment.

[Francis]

Not me.

[Ron]

Alrighty, guys, let's talk about Shopify.

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[Ron]

Not free.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

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[Dave]

I love eating at the bar at a restaurant. Talking to the bartender.

[Francis]

Yeah, I like to eat and not even talk to the bar, to the bartender, the restaurateur. I like to just be sitting there brooding.

[Ron]

Yeah, you're a big guy.

[Francis]

Yeah, just stare at the wall. It's so nice. Reset your brain.

[Dave]

Yeah, that's pretty good.

[Francis]

Eat some fish. But it's nice to talk to the bartender too.

[Dave]

Well, it's just, you just have somebody to talk to because you're at the bar.

[Francis]

I, I feel like sometimes they're like cap a captive audience in a negative way. Like, how do I get out of this conversation? How do I get into it? Where do I look to show them that I'm done, I'm finished with them.

[Ron]

I used to go to bars alone. That's not fun.

[Francis]

Some people swear by it though.

[Ron]

That is depressing.

[Dave]

Why? Why did you do that?

[Ron]

Because I wanted to keep drinking.

[Dave]

By yourself?

[Ron]

No, it would be like the end of the night and people would be like, I'm gonna go home. And I'll be like, all right. And then I would walk by a bar and I'd be like, I'm gonna get way more drunk, not even warmed up yet. Kettle of fish. That's where I used to go.

[Francis]

And would you chop it with the bartender? With anybody?

[Ron]

I would chop it up with everyone. I remember, I remember walking in one time. This is when I was like, I was like, I'm probably drinking too much. I remember I walked in and there was like two old ass dudes like probably like in their like 70s. And I walked in and they were like, there is to me. And then they were like, I was, I remember I was in Chicago visiting my sister, she was graduating. And they were like, I was Chicago, like all this shit. And I was like, I don't know who either of these people are. All, I have never met these people. Everything about me so they knew my plans for the weekend.

[Francis]

You got shit faced and just spilled to some ancient dudes.

[Ron]

I mean that's pretty much what I used to do at the night.

[Francis]

That's basically what this podcast is now.

[Ron]

Essentially, yeah.

[Francis]

Except for your sober.

[Ron]

And then I got kicked out by myself one time as well.

[Dave]

What do you mean? Oh, you. Oh, I see.

[Ron]

I think. I don't know if I've told the story on the podcast, but I was at the bar. Or maybe I have. I was at same bar, Kettle of Fish. Westvill Village. Great bar. I used to go there because like Bob Dylan went there like once. So I was like, I'm Bob Dylan, I go to this bar and. And I went. And they had a, like a jukebox, but it was free. Like you could just select whatever song you wanted. But it was like really old. They only had like old ass music. They had a lot of Bob Dylan, a lot of Johnny Cash I put on. And like when, when you would. If, if no one picked a song, the. The music would automatically go to like the bartender's phone. And a song kept on coming on in between. When I was picking, no one was picking songs. So I was like, I'm just going to play whatever songs I want to listen to. And I put on Knocking on Heaven's Door. And right when it started, the bartender was like, man, I've been waiting to hear that song for 30 fucking minutes. The song that was playing in between that, that canceled when I played Knocking on Heaven's Door. And then he stopped. He was like, I'm not giving you any more drinks. And then we had to sit and listen to Knocking on Heaven's Door. And then he walked over and he pulled the plug out of the wall from the jukebox. And I was like. And he was like, you're not getting any more drinks. And then I left.

[Francis]

What?

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Francis]

He punished you? It was pretty.

[Ron]

It was actually like humiliating.

[Dave]

Do you know what the name of his song was? Do you remember what song he was so keen to play?

[Ron]

It was like you would hear the first like five seconds of the song and then it would stop because I would start playing a song.

[Dave]

You were paying the jukebox the whole time?

[Ron]

No, it was free. That's what I said. It was a free one.

[Dave]

Sorry.

[Francis]

That's so funny.

[Ron]

Yeah. And then they kicked me to the street. I think that was honestly the last time I ever went there because then there was like a fire. And then they became a bar where like I remember trying to go back and they just had, like, a cooler outside where you could, like, pay and sit outside and have beers out of a cooler because the whole bar was destroyed.

[Dave]

Hmm.

[Francis]

Probably the guy burnt it down or there was an electrical fire because he ripped the.

[Ron]

I'm. Ripped the cable.

[Dave]

I'm quite sure. I've been to that bar since you became sober, so I think they fixed it.

[Ron]

I know. They definitely did fix it.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Ron]

But when there was a fire at one point.

[Francis]

No more jukebox. Was there a jukebox in there? Do you remember?

[Dave]

Can't remember.

[Ron]

It's a nice bar.

[Dave]

Sorry. They have darts there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why we went.

[Francis]

I would love to get back to that bar, just me and Francis, without you.

[Ron]

Fine by me.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Francis]

That'll be amazing. Yeah, you. You really. You burnt it hard when you were drinking.

[Ron]

I think I just thought I was gonna be like. Like a poet or some, you know.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Francis]

I rewatched.

[Dave]

See, they got. They got any Woody Guthrie. Yeah. Here in this jukebox.

[Ron]

Yeah. That's pretty much, like, what I thought of myself.

[Dave]

All these modern things. Music's going to hell.

[Ron]

Yeah, that was me literally from, like, age 20 to 20. 22. 25, probably 22. I was literally, like. I was like, I'm a beat. Like, I'm a. I'm like a poet, dude.

[Dave]

I remember driving with you somewhere and you were talking about all the novelists you were reading and.

[Ron]

Oh, yeah, I used to read those guys a lot. I mean, I've read all their books. They're great books, but they. They can send you down a dark path.

[Dave]

Yeah,

[Ron]

they. They promote a style of living that's not really realistic to humans.

[Dave]

Gary was becoming a nihilist, basically. And then he said, you know what? I don't want to believe in nothing. I am just going to do nothing.

[Ron]

No, I don't think it was even that. I think it's more so just like the. They kind of promote, like, a free lifestyle of, like, getting up and, like, traveling and doing whatever you want. And who was the.

[Dave]

Who was the author that you liked a lot?

[Francis]

Jack.

[Dave]

No, there was another one that you named.

[Ron]

Oh, Charles Bukowski.

[Dave]

That's who it was.

[Ron]

Yeah, that. That one. I wasn't. I wasn't trying to be Charles Bukowski. He's got a.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

He's.

[Ron]

He's a bad guy.

[Francis]

What's his. What's his main thing that he did

[Ron]

that was nasty drink and hit women?

[Francis]

Okay, so he's Chris Brown.

[Ron]

Pretty much.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Great writer, though. Hell of a writer. Dance did he make probably. Have you guys know. Have you ever read any Bukowski?

[Dave]

I have not read any bukkake.

[Francis]

I usually watch it.

[Dave]

I have. I've heard it translates well, but, no, I have not read any. Any of that.

[Ron]

Chuck, have you ever read any Kerouac on the road?

[Dave]

I have never read any Jack Kerouac, weirdly, I don't know why. It's one of those things that slipped through the cracks.

[Ron]

I feel like you would like Bukowski more than Jack Kerouac just because Jack Kerouac is, like, very. His grammar is not great.

[Dave]

I got a number of requests from people who asked that we do not talk about Telluride Bush anymore on the podcast.

[Ron]

Oh, okay. Well, we're gonna keep talking about it, for sure. That's not gonna happen.

[Dave]

You guys have your own podcast?

[Ron]

We do, yes. But we also have this podcast.

[Dave]

You don't want to save it for that.

[Ron]

No. And we also weren't even talking about it. What a weird time to bring it up.

[Dave]

You brought it up when? Five minutes ago when I was talking about Dave. You were like, bush.

[Ron]

Oh, yeah. They don't want that. That's. That's. That crosses the line for them.

[Dave]

I just felt like we were heading down a slippery slope.

[Ron]

Got it.

[Francis]

All right.

[Dave]

Keep that noted, because, by the way, I'm definitely going to ask you about bush in about 10 minutes when we run out of things to talk about.

[Ron]

There's not really much to talk about with Bush right now, but 10 minutes.

[Francis]

Save it. But I heard that they are working on a novel.

[Ron]

We are, yeah. We're writing our first book right now as well. If you want to have any part in it, we'd love that. Wow.

[Francis]

You should write Telluride book.

[Dave]

That's pretty good. Instead of pages, it's leaves.

[Ron]

Yeah, that would be fun.

[Francis]

Well, you guys got to get out to Telluride, do a pilgrimage. I've been like, camp, I'm saying, for the show. Don't tell me a fucking trade came through. How about Giannis, bro, if we're just talking about our other podcasts on this podcast.

[Dave]

Yeah, I mean, I don't love it. As a Celtics fan.

[Ron]

I didn't even see what happened.

[Dave]

Are always a problem for the Celtics. They're always this team that they see in the Eastern Conference semis that somehow takes them to, like, six or seven games and wears them out for the Eastern Conference finals.

[Ron]

Where did he go?

[Francis]

Giannis went to the Heat instead of the Celtics. So we're gonna have to rewrite the book. Giannis is on the.

[Ron]

We don't want him on the Celtics anyway, guys. A bum.

[Francis]

Giannis is a bum.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Francis]

That's official from Sass.

[Ron]

What are they doing with. Aren't we getting rid of someone, though? Are we getting rid of Jalen Brown?

[Francis]

Yeah, for Giannis. That was originally the plan.

[Ron]

I couldn't be more out of the loop on basketball.

[Francis]

Well, now you know how the Telluride bush talk feels.

[Ron]

I wasn't even talking about Bush. I don't know where this is. What. What's going on.

[Dave]

I'm just relaying what the people said. I personally love to talk about them.

[Ron]

I could relay a lot of nasty, nasty things that I'm not going to relay.

[Francis]

Let's, let's, let's play it bear.

[Ron]

Oh, no.

[Francis]

Let's lay it bare.

[Ron]

I'm keeping it.

[Francis]

Just do it for Chase.

[Ron]

Sapphire tied to the chest.

[Francis]

Let's do it for sapphire preferred. It'll be good for the show if you lay some stuff bare.

[Ron]

I'm not laying anything.

[Francis]

We want to make sure that. That they get bang for their buck.

[Ron]

They're getting their bang for their buck.

[Francis]

How?

[Ron]

I have no idea.

[Francis]

I love talking about tell your high bush brother.

[Ron]

All good. All good?

[Francis]

All good is his hair is shut down. Word. Whenever he starts saying all good.

[Ron]

It's true. That is. It's very accurate. It is.

[Dave]

And it's funny too, because that' what he says when we start talking about Telluride bush and we. The worry is that it's going to get them in trouble.

[Francis]

All good? Yeah, all good. All good.

[Dave]

So, all right, let's talk about.

[Francis]

I think we need to do more. I think feel like last week was so successful going to Chicago. I think that more team building exercises will be good.

[Ron]

Like what?

[Francis]

I mean, the golf. Golf would be good, but Francis is already locked in on golf. Bowling is always good bowling. All right, I'm fucking spitballing, bro. You come up with an idea.

[Ron]

Definitely not bowling. I'm not a big bowler. Every time I go bowling, I feel like I leave in my. I feel like I need to get Tommy John surgery.

[Dave]

I would say use lighter balls, but weirdly, I could see you being really good at bowling.

[Ron]

Now I'm talk at pole. I think bowling might be one of the worst things.

[Dave]

Somehow you have the frame for bowl.

[Ron]

No, somehow bowling really, like, emphasizes every way that I'm not athletic.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

Like it.

[Ron]

It combines all of them into one and then it's just like one bowling stroke.

[Francis]

But I feel like you can fix it by just getting some shots in. With. In a low pressure situation.

[Ron]

Like with the bumpers on.

[Francis]

No, I'm saying like didn't we all go bowling together?

[Dave]

No.

[Francis]

Yeah, it sucks. Or we went in Boston. Boston before a live show?

[Ron]

That was. I thought that was fun.

[Francis]

Yeah, exactly.

[Ron]

But that was. We were drinking, we were getting hammered. That was more about the beers than it was about the bowling.

[Francis]

How about you boys give up your stand up comedy careers and we just put all of our live show efforts into. Son of a boy.

[Ron]

That live shows where we start a bowling show.

[Francis]

Oh, we do a bowling show and we wear bowling shirts.

[Dave]

I'll tell you what, son of a bold ad.

[Ron]

Yeah, you kind of got a bowling shirt on this one. You could wear that to the alley maybe. You wouldn't catch any flack with that at the alley.

[Dave]

Lavender.

[Francis]

Honestly, that's. This is a Woody Guthrie fit. I think Guthrie be salivating over your fit.

[Dave]

Hey Ron, I have a question.

[Ron]

Barry Kennedy.

[Dave]

Why are people so mad at West Wilson?

[Francis]

Cuz he. His. His ex's best friend.

[Dave]

Okay, but if they stay together, will that absolve them?

[Ron]

I think that's usually the hope, yes.

[Francis]

But I think that they. They. The best friend said that if she stays with him she's weak. So she basically put in a fail safe against them staying together. She's like, if you stay with this guy, it'll just prove it's the kind of person that he wants. And it will just prove that like he just wants a subservient woman that'll just do whatever he says. So if she stays with him, it's like a catch 22 of a self fulfilling prophecy that this woman Sierra Will said that. Yeah, Amanda, you're weak if you stay him. So if she stays and she confirms that she's weak. It was actually a beautiful trap laid by Sierra.

[Dave]

That is a good trap.

[Ron]

Was this on a show?

[Francis]

Yeah, it was on. It was on Summer House. And that could have been Francis a couple times.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Why don't you talk about getting recruited to do Summer House?

[Dave]

Dave asked me a couple times to do that show.

[Ron]

Dave did?

[Francis]

No, he said Dave asked Portnoy.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Say damn.

[Dave]

The first time I remember was in probably 2021. Ish. 2020. And they were like, those were the

[Francis]

cocaine years on that show.

[Dave]

They reached out to me and they were like. And by the way, it was like Carl and Kyle who reached out. Yeah. Maybe I even have the text.

[Ron]

Wow.

[Dave]

It's pretty funny.

[Francis]

I mean those. They used to be on. What do they say? Maybe they're still on cocaine.

[Ron]

We've been admiring your body from afar. Would love to get that on the screen.

[Francis]

They. Those dudes do have rocking bods. Yeah.

[Ron]

It's like the number one thing you need. I think that's all you really need

[Francis]

to be on it is a rocking bod. Yeah. Well, yeah, I think that recently they've been like, yeah, there's dudes who have less rock and bomb.

[Ron]

Do they got any dudes that are just rocking like a black hoodie, just

[Francis]

hot as on Love Island? There are some new dudes who just. Who. Who have bad bodies, just sweating. Yeah. There's like a dude who's like, when he stands straight up, his knees touch and he has love handles. And I'm like, that's relatable. The women are bad chopped. But in. In. When you're.

[Ron]

When your hips are wider than your legs,

[Francis]

you just have an airbag over the. The lining of your underwear. That's. I mean, maybe that's disgusting to some people, but that's what Love island should be.

[Ron]

That's relatable. I remember when you said years ago, you were like, you're like, my body's shapeable water tower.

[Francis]

Yeah. It's like a golf ball in the sea.

[Dave]

I can't find it. But I'll tell you that they reached out to me and they were like,

[Francis]

was it Carl or Kyle?

[Dave]

I think it was both of them.

[Francis]

Tech Gurpski.

[Dave]

They were like, hey, Francis wanted to see if you might be interested in joining the cast for this upcoming season. First question, are you single? And I was like, no, I live with my girlfriend. And then they wrote, would you consider breaking up with her for the sake of your career?

[Ron]

That's insane. That's crazy.

[Dave]

I'll never forget it.

[Ron]

And what did you say?

[Sponsor Voice]

You.

[Ron]

You were like, you give it a glimpse.

[Francis]

Oh, my go.

[Ron]

A million views an episode.

[Dave]

I don't think. I don't think at that time, the show.

[Ron]

Definitely not.

[Dave]

It's grown. All because of this scandal. Right? That's what happens.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Ron]

I feel like just in the last year, I've just. Like everyone I talk to, like, all of my sisters are watching it. Like, everyone.

[Francis]

It used to be one of the.

[Ron]

My little sisters Roan.

[Francis]

It used to be one of the lower tier shows over there. And then over the last, like, couple years, it has blossomed into like the Alpha Predator show.

[Ron]

And correct me if I'm wrong, is that the one that has. That's every day or is that Love Island?

[Francis]

That's Love Island.

[Ron]

And you're watching. You Watch both, of course.

[Francis]

Summer. Summer House is over. So you.

[Ron]

How is it over?

[Francis]

It's.

[Ron]

Summer's just started.

[Dave]

They film in the summer.

[Francis]

It was last summer.

[Ron]

Oh, I kind of like that. I like that.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah, it was last summer. So now they're about to start filming the new one, but Wes Wilson bailed on it.

[Dave]

Did he bail or did he get forced out?

[Francis]

No, they would have loved to have him back. He's a lightning rod. Everybody hates him.

[Dave]

I thought that Sierra said that she would. I read that Sierra said she would not come back if. If west was on the show.

[Ron]

Oh, they come back.

[Francis]

What's a recurring? I mean, these people have been doing it for ten plus years.

[Ron]

Wait, so is this just like. Is this like very similar to the show? The show that Barstool does

[Francis]

shows based on this. Okay. It's like everybody just goes to.

[Ron]

And they just get like up and.

[Dave]

Yeah, but you know why our show is realistic?

[Ron]

Because they all work together.

[Dave]

Well, more because they're all like 23 to 28 doing a share house at the beach where at this point it's like season 400 of Summer House.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Dave]

They're all 40 and they're all in their 40s, going to do share houses in the Hamptons and having like theme parties.

[Ron]

Wait, so summer, has it been the same cast?

[Dave]

I'm 42 years old and I'm going to like a Revolutionary War theme party. I need you to come find me and save me.

[Francis]

Well, especially a Revolutionary war party where everyone's trying to like, if they're like, if you're having a Revolutionary war party of 42, there should be six year olds running around. Yeah, there should be. It should be like a multi tiered family affair, kids.

[Ron]

It's like the red coats and.

[Francis]

Yeah. Not like a cocaine room and like. Like Shotsky.

[Ron]

Yeah, exactly.

[Dave]

Oh, I was thinking of a bit last night and I couldn't quite figure it out. So I'll just share the general premise. But like, there had to have been bartenders on Epstein Island.

[Francis]

Oh, yeah, for sure.

[Dave]

Who were like, do you have id? Like, you know what, never fucking mind.

[Francis]

Okay, this is a library card. We'll take it.

[Ron]

I think that's the joke for big parties.

[Dave]

They were like, you know what? Just.

[Francis]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Dave]

Yearbook photo.

[Francis]

Show me something.

[Dave]

There you go. Yeah, yeah, the yearbook.

[Francis]

This is hand drawn. This is drawn in crayon.

[Ron]

Yeah, yeah, it's the McLovin one.

[Francis]

That's so funny. Those guys. Those guys are bad guys. I've seen in them really bad.

[Dave]

Converse All Stars you're wearing.

[Francis]

Yeah, I'm going to in a cheap shoe vortex but it's nice.

[Ron]

All shoes, Converse are a good shoe.

[Francis]

This is a sub hundred dollar shoe.

[Ron]

Alrighty guys, let's talk about Shady Rays.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

Quick question. How are my Shady Rays basically the same quality as the 200 sunglasses I used to buy. And I'm not exaggerating, they feel every bit as premium as the expensive brands I've owned. Meanwhile, I'm wearing Shady Rays to the lake, on the boat, at the game, on the job site. Because if I drop them in the ocean, they replace them, knock them off the dock, they replace them, sit on them one day, they replace them. And here's the crazy part, they're actually premium polarized lenses that cut glare hard, super clear optics, durable frames with solid hinges, clean classic styles that look sharp without trying too hard. If you're outside on the water in the sun every day, you need shades that actually perform. Go to shadyrays.com grab a pair and get sunglasses with lost and broken token protection. We've teamed up with Shady Rays to bring you an exclusive offer. Head to shadyrays.com use code DAD for 50% off two or more pairs of polarized sunglasses. Try for yourself that The Shades rated 5 stars by over 300,000 people. Shadyrays.com use code DAD When I was

[Ron]

in, I think 8th grade, BO and I got in a blowout argument. Like I think we didn't speak for a couple weeks about if Converse or New Balance where it was about. Bo said he got a pair of New Balances and he said that New Balances were the most American shoe. And he. And I was like, I don't know about that. I was like, I think Converse are. And then it was like a back and forth.

[Francis]

How long ago was this?

[Ron]

I was in 8th grade because New

[Francis]

Balance, I think that 993 are manufactured in America.

[Dave]

They make a whole line of shoes that are still made in America but then the rest are probably made. Made in China or whatever. Where are Converse made?

[Ron]

I think not in America.

[Dave]

I agree. You can't sell shoes for $14.

[Ron]

No.

[Dave]

If they're made in America.

[Ron]

No.

[Francis]

Yeah, the New Balances that are made in America cost like 500.

[Ron]

Yeah, but he didn't have those.

[Francis]

So.

[Ron]

But he had the ones that are made in.

[Francis]

Was he arguing for the brand as a whole or the. Or the ones he had on?

[Ron]

He was arguing for the brand as a whole, but he was referencing the ones that are made in America. But I was like you don't have the ones that are made. Made in America.

[Francis]

Truly the most American shoes are probably like hey dudes. Or something like that.

[Ron]

Yeah, yeah, probably.

[Francis]

It's like if you rock those in, in Europe, people, you people hadn't haven't seen those yet, man.

[Ron]

You don't think they got those down under?

[Francis]

I don't know.

[Ron]

I feel like they probably got them in like Australia.

[Francis]

The. Hey dudes down under.

[Ron]

Yeah, probably.

[Francis]

Maybe the.

[Dave]

Where are those from?

[Francis]

The Crocs I think are pretty American.

[Ron]

Oh yeah, German Crocs. I think they might be German.

[Francis]

Really?

[Ron]

I don't know. I'm just totally making up.

[Francis]

You know. What country has my eye right now is Poland.

[Ron]

Oh yeah? Why?

[Francis]

Because I saw Instagram.

[Ron]

Oh, Crocs. Boulder, Colorado.

[Francis]

Italia Ride Crocs.

[Ron]

That was what I was gonna say after Germany.

[Dave]

Hey dude. Has been acquired by Crocs.

[Ron]

Holy

[Francis]

call Bo.

[Ron]

Small world. We gotta get Bo on the line. Get Bo and Joe on the line.

[Dave]

But originally, originally, hey dudes are from Italy. They were designed in Italy.

[Francis]

No way.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Can we get a Google on Converse? Just like where they, you know, or maybe just like what's the most American shoe as well?

[Dave]

My guess would be Converse.

[Ron]

Oh, Massachusetts. Converse.

[Francis]

Now we're talking.

[Ron]

Now we're talking.

[Francis]

Beam his ass. What about Steve Madden? Those are pretty American. Wolf of Wall Street.

[Dave]

I was gonna say like red wing.

[Ron]

Look, we were both, we were both definitely wrong.

[Francis]

New Balance is number one on that one on this AI slot list.

[Ron]

Number one.

[Francis]

Oh, 9993.

[Ron]

I'm losing a multi, multi, a decade old argument right now.

[Francis]

Wow.

[Ron]

Yeah, that's tough. I just proved myself. WR1.

[Dave]

Should I send Bo a copy of the book?

[Ron]

Oh yeah, definitely. I think he might already have one. I think he pre ordered.

[Dave]

Well, it hasn't come out yet.

[Ron]

Pre order.

[Francis]

Well, that's not how him having one counts as.

[Dave]

What do you mean? When you're. What are you explain what you're saying.

[Ron]

I don't know. I don't know what I'm saying. That's the whole show.

[Francis]

That's why they keep on coming back. That's why Chase wanted on board. Like, yeah, this guy doesn't look mad.

[Ron]

They can say I know I'm wrong. I'm not trying to be right.

[Francis]

Right. Even you think you're wrong.

[Ron]

I know I'm wrong.

[Francis]

That's a Jay Williams saying. Yeah, he says, I don't even think I'm right. Yeah, I don't even think I'm right most of the time.

[Dave]

Oh, man, that's funny.

[Ron]

Oh, man. So this is funny. Yesterday, so casually, we're leaving the office, and I think you were. Francis. I think you had to do another ad or something. I don't know. Me and Rome were walking out together, and I pulled out my lanyard to show Roan I brought my. I was like. I got. I left my apartment this morning. Grab my lanyard, leave the door, get the lanyard. No keys attached to the lanyard. It's just the lanyard. And. And Rome was like, oh, shit. He's like, what are you gonna do? And I was like, I'm not worried about it. Like, they got, like, an office next to my building. Like, I'm sure they'll be able to just let me in. I had to stand in the rain for an hour and wait for a Locks to come. Office was shut down. It was hell. I just.

[Francis]

And you can't go to a bar.

[Ron]

No, no.

[Francis]

You've banned yourself from all bars.

[Ron]

Well, the thing was, like, I was like, maybe I'll go get some food. But then I was like, well, the locksmith has no way of getting in touch with me because the building reached. I called the building. They called the locksmith.

[Francis]

Yesterday's rain was biblical.

[Ron]

It was a biblical.

[Francis]

I started walking home yesterday, or I started walking to the subway yesterday. And I was like, you know what? What? It's starting to let up. Let me hop on a. On a bike.

[Dave]

I biked through it, too.

[Francis]

Wrong decision.

[Dave]

I biked through it, too. I took my shirt off afterwards. The entire back was just spattered in black rainwater from the.

[Francis]

It's so gross. I tried to hang it up to dry it. Today. My shirt is still wet this morning. It's still dense with rain. My. I was wearing white pants. You could see through to like. Like, you could see the. The. The cards in my wallet. You could see everything.

[Ron]

At one point, I walked over to the deli. I was like, I may. I'll see if they have an umbrella. No umbrella. Just walk back. In the rain, I get.

[Dave]

Well, once you got to a certain point. After a minute, I was like, I'm at terminal velocity. Wetness.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Ron]

You hit your peak?

[Dave]

Yeah. My pants. I was wearing heavy jeans.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Those don't feel good.

[Ron]

Especially by your biking.

[Dave]

No.

[Francis]

They were probably 20 pounds by the time you were done.

[Dave]

Yeah. My doorman, when I walked in, he was like, wow, looks bad out there. I'm like, yeah. I just also made horrible decisions.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

Yeah.

[Francis]

I was like. To hit people with it, you know, it's raining out soaked.

[Ron]

Love that.

[Francis]

Walking in like Daffy Duck in there. It was brutal. And I. The whole time it's in my head how, how long you said it takes to get to MetLife. And so I was bugging.

[Ron]

Oh yeah. I was like that.

[Francis]

It wasn't that bad honestly, getting there. How long the. The time went up. It was probably like an hour 30. Not to get from door to actually. Yeah, probably an hour hour, 20 hour 30. We walked in, had the beer, walked in as they did the countdown to the first.

[Ron]

Oh hell yeah.

[Francis]

So I didn't really miss anything. And then getting out was just. I made a like it was the perfect exit. It feels so good to leave like right at the perfect time. Go out the right ex. It didn't hit a single lick of traffic on the way back in 40 minutes.

[Dave]

Nice.

[Francis]

It felt so triumphant.

[Ron]

Love that.

[Francis]

Felt like such a man.

[Ron]

Love that. Glad to hear it was a success.

[Francis]

People are on the take and it was a facetious take. But that World cup is better than SEC football. But it was pretty awesome. It's like SEC football is great. Have you ever gone to SEC games?

[Ron]

I've never been to an SEC game.

[Dave]

No. I don't like SEC SECs.

[Francis]

Yeah. With all the tax filing and stuff. You always have been at odds with the sec.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Francis]

But I think that, that it was like nobody was like super up. Nobody was like stumbling, falling over drunk. And in the sec everybody is super up. There's like women in houndstooth who are drunk as possible. There's like 65 year old women who are like about to fall face first into a key lime pie. At SEC game. Nobody. It's like a 90 minute game. It's pretty tight. You're kind of in and out. It's nice. I thought that it was. It left me craving more football. I'd like football or football Football.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Francis]

I'd like to go. Maybe. Maybe that's an adventure for us. Maybe we go to across the pond.

[Dave]

Okay.

[Francis]

To a football game.

[Ron]

I would love to do that.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

That'd be fun.

[Francis]

Or like go to the. What's the like the Dublin Derby or some like that that I'm not familiar.

[Dave]

Well in, in Scotland it's like Hearts versus Rangers, I think.

[Ron]

I think we got to go to

[Sponsor Voice 2]

like a Manchester game, man.

[Francis]

City's my squad now.

[Dave]

I've been, I went, I went and saw Liverpool City.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

Yeah.

[Dave]

With my dad like five, six years ago at. At Anfield.

[Francis]

Was it amazing?

[Dave]

Unbelievable. And then in probably 22,000, 2010 I saw Liverpool United At Old Trafford.

[Ron]

So would like a game like that be like crazier than like a game where like Argentina plays?

[Dave]

Well, what's, I mean, what's fun about that is that there truly is a home team.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Dave]

And there's so much unison between the home fans. I. Although I'm hearing that some of these World cup games, like the stadium is heavily favored to one side.

[Francis]

There was definitely a bigger Norway crowd versus Senegal.

[Dave]

Right.

[Francis]

And I think that there's more tourists. Like I didn't have a dog in the fight. Like there's more tourists at a game like that that I went to. Whereas I bet a game in Manchester. Everybody cares. No one's like traveling for the most part for that game.

[Dave]

Did I ever. I don't think I told you this, but when my dad and I went to that Liverpool city game. Right. Right. We were, we weren't sitting in the cop, which is like the die hard fans behind one of the goals. We were on the other end. And I remember, you know, everyone sings to stand you'll never walk alone, which is the song they, they. The whole stadium sings before the game starts. It's pretty cool. And shortly after that, my dad, my dad's not a Liverpool fan. Like he was asking me some questions about the players. And these guys who were sitting in front of us, who were probably in their 40s, like turned around and looked at us and were like, this is your guys first time coming to one of these games. You're not from here, are you? And they were being very like judgmental, like who gave. How'd you get these tickets if you're not a serious fan? But guess what? They were American.

[Ron]

Oh really?

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Ron]

That would drive me insane.

[Dave]

They were American. They lived in, they lived in Liverpool pool, I presume, and had season tickets at this point.

[Francis]

That's like Williamsburg Energy.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Dave]

That's like they still had full blown American accents and were. Get like my dad was. It got to this, I was like, who the fuck are you? You learned all this?

[Sponsor Voice 2]

Yeah.

[Francis]

At one point pulling up the ladder behind them type.

[Dave]

Yeah, exactly.

[Ron]

Yeah. That's insane.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

The fact that they were American is

[Francis]

crazy because I bet British people wouldn't be like that or like if, if someone's coming to their first Eagles game, like some. Something I care about. I'm like, yeah, that's cool that you, you now want to care about this. I'm not going to be like, we'll name their backup right guard. If you actually want to be like, what kind of offense are they running? Who is their defensive coordinator in 1999.

[Ron]

It's just a. I mean, that's insane. That's just. Those guys are just. But like, that's just like. It's just like a.

[Francis]

Sports gatekeeping. It's.

[Ron]

Gatekeeping in sports is like insane.

[Francis]

It's the worst.

[Ron]

That's why anyone who knows more than anyone else wants it to be known that I'm a bigger fan than you are. Are I? I deserve this more than you?

[Francis]

Yes. And I hate that.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

Yeah.

[Ron]

When really, in reality you don't deserve anything.

[Francis]

Yeah, you're just, you're just like.

[Ron]

Yeah, you just watch tv.

[Francis]

You're a different level autist.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

Yeah.

[Francis]

You're.

[Ron]

Yeah, you got a better memory.

[Francis]

It's so annoying. I was listening to a basketball podcast this morning and somebody was like, I can't even watch the game unless you're at the same level of sicko as me. Like, I can't watch. I can't be around people who aren't the same level of sicko as me. It's like, no, dude, you're a loser.

[Dave]

Ye work on that.

[Francis]

Yeah, that's a. This is a deep seated, like, psychological problem that you have that you want to like, that's why I, I was. Didn't have a problem with random people being in on the Knicks stuff because, like, it's just a party in. In the city. Like, everybody's like, should be able to enjoy it. If you haven't watched every regular season game, like, good. It's like fun for the city of New York.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Dave]

The only reason I had a problem was that one of my best friends, when the Celtics are good, which they so often are, always complains in our group chat about the people that come out of the woodwork to support the Celtics when they're making a run and cites different people and all this that are like going to games and it bothers. And then I'm like, you know, dude, you think Taylor Swift is watching the majority of the fucking regular.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Dave]

There's no bigger I want to be seen connected to the Knicks team than the Knicks when they're in the playoffs. Fundamentally other than maybe the Lakers because it becomes a celebrity like event also.

[Ron]

It's just like, that's just how things go, right? If the team sucks, a lot of people are going to stop watching the team.

[Francis]

Like that's how it's crazy about. Like you see way more Arsenal fans this year than you would probably see Liverpool fans or something because Arsenal's killing it. So they're having, having Parades in the streets of Lagos, Nigeria. And yeah, because they're, they're popping off this year.

[Ron]

Yeah, like the Patriots were dog for seven years after Tom Brady left and like the state, like I went to games where the stadium was like empty. That's just how it is.

[Francis]

Or like the kids in Dave's pizza reviews were wearing like Justin Herbert jerseys and like that. Because they didn't, they weren't bought in. There's like seven year old kids who were like, yeah, I like Joe Burrow. Burrow, Exactly. That's just the nature of the beast. So these fans, like, what would your.

[Ron]

I agree. Like I do think it is annoying, especially if you are a big fan of that team. But at the same time it's not annoying enough to be like this, like keeping you up.

[Francis]

But break down what's annoying about it? Like these guys don't know as much as me.

[Ron]

Like if people start saying like getting their opinions off. Like people get mad at me when I do it. Like if I'm getting my opinions off and then people are like, you don't know ball. Ball. I could see that being annoying, but at the same time it's like, who gives a dude.

[Francis]

Gruden said that he would hire you to be on the buck stats.

[Ron]

Literally.

[Francis]

So how can they say you don't know ball when you literally will be brought with him to whatever job he gets?

[Ron]

Also correct me if I'm wrong. I believe I said in the beginning of last year that the Patriots were going to go to the Super Bowl.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Did I not?

[Francis]

Nail on the head.

[Ron]

I have a Aryan I believe said, no they won't. One for me, zero for him.

[Francis]

You have a weird.

[Dave]

What I need? I need a favor.

[Ron]

Okay.

[Dave]

There's a guy.

[Ron]

Let me get the body bags ready.

[Dave]

Who won't stop trolling me. And he's dming me and trolling me and that'd be fine.

[Francis]

Are you giving oxygen to the fire?

[Ron]

Well, sounds like it.

[Dave]

My issue. My issue is that it's his real account. Account. And he owns a tutoring company. And his bio says professional tutor and college consultant. Former Caltech UC San Diego medical scholar.

[Francis]

Scholar.

[Dave]

And he looks very nerdy and he won't leave me alone. And I almost want to ask that people go out there and give his company negative reviews.

[Ron]

Oh, that's crazy.

[Dave]

Why?

[Ron]

It's a bad idea.

[Dave]

Why?

[Ron]

Why It's a bad idea.

[Dave]

What else do I have?

[Ron]

The show.

[Dave]

What else do I have to get back at him with?

[Ron]

Nothing. Sometimes you just gotta. You just gotta roll over it, I

[Dave]

had a. I posted as just the story version of me stopping the traffic video that I did. And he wrote, cool.

[Ron]

Sounds like he's a big fan.

[Francis]

We'll read us the entire interaction so we can see exactly what we're working with.

[Dave]

He wrote when I posted my Harvey Weinstein song. He goes, team you, Bo Burnham. A plus for effort, I guess.

[Francis]

A plus.

[Ron]

I don't know if this justifies destroying his company, though.

[Francis]

So you. You.

[Dave]

I go, I'm going to absolutely destroy you. Now I've got an army of people ready to turn Sam's tutoring company to ash. You're fucked. He goes, why so easily vindictive? One would think a Harvard grad would be a bit more even keeled. I never understand that he's getting under your skin. Of course he is.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Harvard grads don't have.

[Ron]

What happened to your brick? I feel like you're not bricked at all anymore.

[Dave]

I said, I'm coming for you, Sam. Buckle up. You've made a terrible mistake. And he goes, yes, sir. And then I forgot about it and moved on. Didn't care. And then he fucking poked me again.

[Ron]

Yeah, what was the poke?

[Dave]

When he responded and he wrote cool to my story. And then I wrote, I tried to let you off the hook and I forgot about you. Why are you messaging me this? But you know what?

[Francis]

Well, you were in the tutoring world.

[Dave]

That's the problem. I want to, like, start another tutoring company and steal his clients.

[Ron]

I like that. I like that better than the negative reviews.

[Dave]

No, but I'm not asking people to be like whatever. I want people to literally write as their reviews. Like, we. We. We use Sam's tutoring company for our child, and they didn't get into any of their top schools. I would not recommend it. Their methods are too abstract. Something fucking believable. Sticking with Kumon, Sam's tutoring company. Dot com. Excuse me. Samstutoringcompany.WordPress.com his website is horrible. So. Look at this dweeb. You kidding me?

[Ron]

I think you can't. You can't ruin him.

[Francis]

Is that definitely his? Could that. Could that be a fake profile?

[Dave]

I don't think so. There's too much going on.

[Francis]

I think that, like, you were. You're letting an ant eat off your plate. You could just.

[Ron]

Yeah, I would just give him a block. Remove him.

[Dave]

He needs to. This is. This is. It's too. It's too deep now.

[Ron]

If we didn't be honest, like, out of all of your interactions, like, that one seems pretty.

[Dave]

It's the fact that we both had tutoring companies.

[Francis]

Yeah, that's what it is. You're like, you know, the grind of tutoring.

[Ron]

Like, in terms of like.

[Dave]

I don't like his methods. I don't like how full of himself he is. I didn't write shit like that about myself on my own website when I was running a tutoring company.

[Francis]

But you didn't.

[Ron]

You also didn't.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

You didn't, didn't.

[Ron]

You didn't see it through as long as he did.

[Dave]

How did. We don't know how long he's been doing this. I had a tutoring company for five

[Ron]

years, but maybe once you hit that 10 year threshold.

[Dave]

So what the kind of a name is Sam's tutoring company. Okay. Made Meta much?

[Ron]

I. I don't. I don't mind. I don't mind it.

[Dave]

Expert in person online tutoring. Yeah, right.

[Ron]

Dude, you know, Roan's kids are going to Sam. They're.

[Dave]

They better not. They better not be.

[Francis]

No, they're not going to Sam. They're going to Fran. Fran's tutoring company.

[Dave]

Yes. Ellis Prep was the name of my tutoring.

[Francis]

Oh, that's a good name.

[Ron]

That is a good name.

[Dave]

We had a logo that I had designed from a crowdsourced website.

[Francis]

Really?

[Dave]

Paid a 300 prize to the logo designer who won. And they were all from the Philippines and Indonesia.

[Francis]

300 to a Filipino.

[Dave]

Very hard to communicate.

[Francis]

You made a king.

[Ron]

You got fleeced.

[Dave]

Yeah. Pretty sure that guy became Roberto Duterte. Yeah, he's like i300 street cleansing campaign.

[Ron]

That was a typo. He meant to say $3.

[Dave]

Just another AR15 into the hands of some moped warrior who went and gunned down every suspected drug dealer in some district.

[Francis]

That guy is a G. Duterte.

[Dave]

My students average an increase of 360 points on the SAT. That's impressive if that's true. That's so much.

[Ron]

Is it? Because when I did it, I. I doubled my.

[Francis]

What?

[Ron]

Yeah, I swear to God. But also, the first time I took it, I failed.

[Dave]

You can't fail.

[Ron]

I failed.

[Dave]

What are you talking about?

[Ron]

You get. I got the name. I got the points for the name.

[Dave]

What's that?

[Ron]

Was it like you get like 600 points for writing your name or something

[Dave]

and you got a 600?

[Sponsor Voice 2]

Close.

[Dave]

Oh, geez.

[Ron]

But then I got it up to like, I guess, like around like a 12. Not actually a 12.

[Dave]

I don't want to.

[Ron]

I didn't get a 1200.

[Francis]

You did or didn't I didn't.

[Ron]

I got. I was around 11

[Francis]

out of 16. Yeah, that's fine.

[Ron]

It's not great. Not terrible.

[Francis]

It's not going to get you into to Harvard.

[Dave]

He might be pretty smart, this guy.

[Francis]

Yeah, sure, he's smart, but also like, what do you think his. What's his inspiration for trying to make you. You feel lesser than.

[Dave]

I don't. That's the thing is like he's messaging me from like his company's account.

[Francis]

Like, dude, maybe he's trying to get pro.

[Dave]

What are you doing?

[Francis]

Maybe this is exactly what he was.

[Dave]

Well, you know what, to be honest with you, I've kind of come around on. I've really come around.

[Francis]

Text him. Text him that. Honestly, that will get him off your back. You catch way more flies with this.

[Ron]

Say you sometimes that doesn't take though. That's the worst.

[Francis]

If you.

[Ron]

When you try to reverse it, try to be positive.

[Francis]

Hey, you seem like a really good guy. No, I am. You suck.

[Ron]

Yeah, no, I know. My tutoring's going great. You still suck though.

[Dave]

I did that with a guy in Nashville who owned a brewery because he was sending me the most file and I was like, I'm gonna come to soon and I'd love to come to your restaurant. It looks good. And he's like, go yourself.

[Ron]

Oh my God.

[Dave]

And then I was like, all right, I get it. You don't like me. That's okay. But honestly, like I looking at your menu and I really would love to try it. He's like, fine, you can come.

[Ron]

Fine. When?

[Dave]

When are you coming?

[Francis]

Put a nice table together.

[Dave]

And then I was like, I'm never coming to your restaurant. You.

[Francis]

Oh, I would have long conned him and I would have been like, I'm outside right now.

[Ron]

Where are you?

[Francis]

Can you bring me in?

[Ron]

That would have been really good.

[Francis]

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[Ron]

Poachers I'm going to Wyoming in a couple weeks. Really? Yeah. I was telling.

[Dave]

With whom?

[Ron]

With some of my buddies from home.

[Francis]

Bo.

[Ron]

Some of them. Yeah.

[Francis]

And both going, wait, this is our last episode before break. Because on break we have backed episodes.

[Ron]

Oh, yeah. So, yeah, I guess I'll really get into the weeds. Let me get comfortable here. We're going to Wyoming.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

Wyoming.

[Ron]

And I was telling, I was telling Sean and Tyler about this. Every year we plan the trip and every year the trip gets more intense. But like, every year I push for an Airbnb for nicer.

[Dave]

I know nicer.

[Ron]

I say, guys, let's get a. Let's get a condo. Let's get an Airbnb somewhere we can. Where we can just. We can just go fish. And that's all we got to think about is going and fishing. We don't got to think about surviving.

[Dave]

And.

[Ron]

And bears and moose and mountain lions and starving to death.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Ron]

And freezing to death.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Ron]

So that was the Pl in May. The plan was like, we're going to get an Airbnb. We're going to get a lodge. This is going to be great. It's going to be glamping. We're going to really let loose, relax and enjoy ourselves.

[Dave]

Sure.

[Ron]

Somehow the trip has turned into a 10 mile backpacking trip where we will now no longer. We won't even have the car. Usually we have the car to rely on. We don't have anything. We just have what's on our backs. And usually we will end the trip with a hotel. And this year the council has decided no hotel. And I am on the boat of like, you need. You need to end the trip on the hotel because then you get to like, shower, clean up, get that, get on the plane, go home. Right, Right. As of right now, our plan is, is wake up on the last morning at 4am straight from the tent to the airport.

[Francis]

You're going to be smelling like buns.

[Ron]

Dog shit.

[Francis]

Yeah, dog.

[Dave]

How many total days is it?

[Ron]

It is the. We're flying out, I think. So it'll be the full day of the 9th, the 10th. It's like four days.

[Dave]

All right, well, that's not as bad. I thought maybe it was a week.

[Francis]

In a 10 or so you're going to wind up getting the hook for that.

[Ron]

But this is the thing and this is what I've said. I said I'm not. I'm done with these. Because I, I was telling them I'm still recovering from the hotels in Iceland. Like, the hotels in Iceland set me back years, right? Because this is what we do every single year. We say, I say, let's get a hotel. They say, we're not going to get a hotel. And then it's the night of and they're like, we got to get a hotel. And then I pay for the hotel.

[Dave]

I was going to say, is it more principal or cost? That is for them, it's cost.

[Ron]

For them it is.

[Dave]

So then why don't you just spot.

[Ron]

Because they have jobs.

[Dave]

Jobs.

[Ron]

They got the money.

[Dave]

But if you care this much and they don't, you should just.

[Francis]

You have more money than them.

[Ron]

We have gone on four years of trips where I have paid for everything.

[Francis]

Well, you've already. You set the.

[Ron]

You can't be 25 and still be like, I'm not. I can't get the hotel. You can get the hotel.

[Francis]

Oh, bro, there's people that are 40 that are like that.

[Ron]

Yeah, I know. I know the. I know these guys.

[Dave]

And if you're willing to sleep in a tent and go straight to the airport, yeah, you can do whatever you want on.

[Ron]

But what I'm saying, they're like, we

[Dave]

are fine with this and you're not. So the only way it's going to change is if you pay.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

This is a.

[Ron]

This is exactly it. Like you're right. But the problem is, is that they are not fine with the. Without a hotel.

[Dave]

Are they saying that or you just know that's going to happen?

[Ron]

They say that every single year. And then every single year by like the second night, they're like, how much would a hotel be?

[Francis]

They're giggling in the side chat because

[Ron]

they know I'm going to pay for the hotel.

[Dave]

Well then why don't you just get your own.

[Ron]

That's what I said. That's what I was telling them. I said, this year I'm getting. If I'm getting a hot. Getting my own hotel.

[Dave]

But why don't you do it right now?

[Ron]

That's a good idea. That is actually a great plan.

[Dave]

And then what, though? Then they'll be forced to come.

[Francis]

Yeah, but you're going to have to hike out of the wilderness. You're going to have to go out of the wild.

[Ron]

I'll just get an Uber.

[Francis]

From the wild? Yeah. You're going to be riding a rattlesnake.

[Ron]

If you reserve them, you can get them wherever you want.

[Dave]

I think they have ATVs.

[Francis]

Yeah. What, on Uber?

[Ron]

No, I'll tell them. Hey, guys, you got to drop me off at my hotel, the Ritz Jackson Four Seasons.

[Francis]

I mean, Jackson does have great hotels.

[Ron]

That's the problem is that the hotels are insanely expensive.

[Dave]

Well, you don't have to stay there.

[Ron]

There's cheaper ones, a lot of there. Most of them are pretty expensive. I think it's also because of the time frame that we're going. Busy time.

[Francis]

And there's Amman up there, I think.

[Dave]

Oh, Jesus.

[Ron]

Yeah, there is. I saw it.

[Dave]

That's too much.

[Francis]

Do it, do it. I might do it.

[Ron]

I might have to.

[Dave]

Not worth it.

[Ron]

No, I'm not going to.

[Francis]

It's so worth. It'll be so worth. Worth it.

[Ron]

It's more just the, it's, it's, it's the history of. We went to Iceland. Iceland. We said we were going to camp every single night. We camped one night and then got a hotel and we just, we rented a bunch of camping gear for no reason. Then we go to Wyoming. We say we're going to camp the entire time. Second to last night. We decide we're going to get a hotel for two nights instead of one night. Last year we said we're going no hotel at all. We're only doing three nights. Second night we get a hotel. So it's like history is really consistent here.

[Dave]

Then, then this is simple. You know what's coming. You need to get your own hotel ahead of time.

[Ron]

I like this. I like this plan a lot.

[Dave]

And then you watch they are worming and you say, I had my foot down. This was always my policy.

[Ron]

Yeah, no, I like this. I'm making a call as soon as this ends.

[Dave]

Somehow it's like if everyone in the moment. Moment improvisationally decides to switch to a hotel, I can see maybe how you're more on the hook for covering. But if you make the decision and say, all right, you guys made your bed, you're sleeping there. I made my bed, I'm sleeping here. And if you want warmth and showers and all that on the second night,

[Ron]

well, it's gonna cost a fee.

[Dave]

Best of luck to you boys.

[Francis]

3,000 a night.

[Ron]

Yep. Break off a rack each.

[Dave]

No, don't stay there. That's too much.

[Ron]

No, I'm not going to. We're going to. I'm going to get a hotel somewhere shitty. But it is just. It's crazy that how they haven't realized.

[Francis]

Why are you trying to talk him out of the lap of luxury?

[Dave]

Because if I know Harry as well as I think I do, he wouldn't use the hotel to properly. It's, you know. Yeah. He wouldn't explore it.

[Ron]

Yeah, No, I don't.

[Dave]

And I think that in order to really make a place like that worth it, you need to utilize every inch of the hotel.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Like. Which I. Which is what I do. I mean, I eat every grape on the free break sort of fruit centerpiece.

[Ron]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Dave]

I have all the bottles of water that they give you.

[Ron]

Oh, yeah, me too.

[Francis]

Champagne. The welcome champagne.

[Dave]

You guys break a bottle of champagne?

[Sponsor Voice 2]

Poo.

[Ron]

Oh, yeah. When I'm in the shower, squeeze it till it's empty.

[Dave]

Correct.

[Ron]

Yeah. That's what I do too. And then if I don't use it, I pour them out. I pour them down the drain.

[Dave]

Right, Exactly.

[Ron]

I stuffing a bar of soap through the drain.

[Francis]

Grading like cheese. Flushing towels.

[Ron]

Yeah, I do. I do the same thing. Do you guys use the mini.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

Do you guys.

[Ron]

Do you guys abuse the mini bar? I know you've obviously had your history with it.

[Francis]

We have to pay for the mini bar, though.

[Dave]

Do that. I don't do that unless I'm filming it.

[Ron]

Oh, okay. I see little write off. I see how you're working.

[Dave]

Not even that. It's a write off. It's just like sneaking away from the tax man. Why do I need to he dec the sec? Why? Yeah, why would I. Why would I need a fucking bottle of vodka in my Hotel room alone?

[Ron]

Yeah. Yeah, it is a good question.

[Francis]

The whole bottle? Sometimes it's a big bottle too, but sometimes.

[Ron]

Mini bar. I thought that was all on the company's dime. So I was kind of just 1942. Down the drain

[Francis]

class. Down the drain. Ding.

[Ron]

Sorry, Dave. $75.

[Dave]

Use it or lose it. We're getting charged anyway. Might as well dump it down the drain.

[Ron]

Turns out that was all going card bad news.

[Francis]

Three times as much as the room.

[Ron]

To make some calls. I was never in Chicago.

[Francis]

Someone stole my card. Jussie Smolletting. That's the real Jussie Smollett. I'm about to go to Portugal over this break.

[Ron]

Hell yeah.

[Francis]

What with my. With my children.

[Dave]

That's really. Oh, yeah.

[Ron]

Is that your first.

[Dave]

Wow.

[Francis]

It's my first flight with them. I'm passport terrified. Yeah. They've had passports. Hell yeah, I'm terrified.

[Dave]

Wow, that's cool.

[Francis]

Yeah, it's going to be so. I mean, it's going to be harrowing. The. The flight's going to be nasty. Then we get right into a car. Two hours going through customs.

[Ron]

The globe.

[Francis]

We're supposed to get Global Entry, but they delayed the Global Entry interviews here at the office until after the trip. So I'm just.

[Dave]

What?

[Ron]

Does Global Entry help that much?

[Francis]

Yes.

[Dave]

More than anything in the world.

[Ron]

Really?

[Dave]

Yep.

[Ron]

What, do you just get to skip customs?

[Dave]

We've had this conversation so many times that I'm no longer gonna sell it because you simply will won't do it.

[Ron]

Understood. Understood.

[Francis]

And even though they come to the office, like, they'll be like, in the room next door, and you'll be like, ah, I'm good.

[Dave]

I'm sent you the link.

[Ron]

No, that was for tsa.

[Francis]

I thought, oh, my God, you'll be like, all good. All good.

[Ron]

Isn't there a difference between Global Entry.

[Dave]

Do I have to say it? Global entry includes TSA PreCheck. You get both. That's why it's so valuable. And I said that when I sent you the link, and then they still were, like, not enough people signed up. And I'm certain you.

[Ron]

You hadn't.

[Francis]

I even put your name in. But you needed to.

[Ron]

Yeah. No, I didn't sign up.

[Francis]

Like, a redress number where they need all your old addresses for the last

[Dave]

10 years, coming back from Ireland, the Global Entry was the most efficient thing I've ever experienced in travel. They've actually improved. It used to be that you'd have to go to a kiosk, get a photo taken of you it would print out this little stick slip and then you that present that to a guy, he'd look at it and then wave you right through. When I got back from Ireland, I went up to an eye scan, scanned my eyes, got like a go, and then did not speak to a human. That was it. Just walked through.

[Francis]

Wow.

[Ron]

And they got your Social Security. They got everything they needed from you all.

[Dave]

I trust the faa.

[Ron]

That is true.

[Francis]

Wow.

[Dave]

Or whatever.

[Francis]

I wonder if I'm going to like, do I need to get my, like, can I get my kids through on like TSA pre check on my TSA pre check?

[Dave]

I don't know the answer to that.

[Francis]

That is a good question. Like, or like, I mean, I've only

[Dave]

been to the airport one time and

[Francis]

it was only one way.

[Ron]

Or maybe. Yes. I feel like I remember going through with my dad. But is it. Can you bring more than one? You might have to make a choice.

[Francis]

Oh, wow.

[Ron]

Who's getting it?

[Francis]

No, they both waiting. They both have their passports. I, if I ever need to get a last minute passport again, I'm going to an ethnic enclave of New York because I was walking. I went to Flushing on Father's Day. My, my family's like, what do you want to do? My wife's like, what do you want to do? I wanted to go back to Flushing and it's, it's like you could get a passport on the spot. Oh, yeah, Flushing. Yeah. They make them, they're selling them on the street. Next live craft. It's insane. It's so nice.

[Ron]

I, if I ever lose my passport again, I think I'm just not going to leave the country ever again. That's just it for me. That was one of the most brutal processes.

[Dave]

How are you getting to Wyoming? Are you flying direct to Jackson from Newark? You're taking that flight?

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Dave]

That's the United flight?

[Ron]

Yeah. How did you know that? It's the only one.

[Francis]

He's been to Jackson, brother. He's a skiing man.

[Ron]

I'm going to Jackson. Jackson. So which Jackson is he referring to?

[Francis]

Tennessee.

[Ron]

I've always, always wondered.

[Dave]

Paul Simon?

[Ron]

No. Johnny Cash.

[Francis]

Oh, well, I'm going to Jackson.

[Dave]

What am I thinking?

[Francis]

He can't be going to Jackson.

[Dave]

I thought it was going to Graceland. Graceland, Memphis, Tennessee.

[Ron]

I'm going to Portugal.

[Francis]

Algarve. Portugal. No one knows I'm going to the Algarve region. Two hours.

[Ron]

Oh, no one. It's really no one knows. It's wherever.

[Francis]

Oh, wow.

[Ron]

I like that. I like that. So I'm going To Jackson. That's what it's about. Pumped.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Ron]

That changes things.

[Francis]

The boys are gonna love to hear this.

[Ron]

We're gonna be ripping that in the car.

[Francis]

I'm going to Jackson.

[Dave]

So we got Nate, Bo, Peters all going.

[Ron]

Nate's not going, unfortunately, bro. No, no. He has worked.

[Dave]

You, Bo, and Peters. That's it. The three of you?

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Francis]

What's Nate's job again? I forgot.

[Ron]

Maine. He works at.

[Dave]

He works in. He works for Maine.

[Ron]

He works for Maine.

[Francis]

The state of Maine.

[Dave]

He does Maine for a living.

[Ron]

Yeah, Essentially, Main Street.

[Francis]

He works on. You know, what's good for Wall street is good for Main Street.

[Ron]

Exactly.

[Dave]

There's so many. There's so many myths that Harry has propagated on this podcast.

[Ron]

Like what?

[Dave]

Well, I mean, I think there's, like, a top five of, you know, basic untruths that you've tried to convince us of. One, that you have an older sister who's married. Two, that Nate exists and lives in Maine.

[Ron]

He does not live in Maine. We've been over that.

[Dave]

Oh, so you're changing.

[Ron]

He lived in Maine. He lives in Massachusetts.

[Francis]

Yeah. The whisper down the lane gets even more obfuscated.

[Dave]

That's it.

[Francis]

Obfuscated was a word I saw in this book.

[Ron]

Dave's favorites.

[Francis]

This is a classic. Obfuscated. How is Gleason not in the mix yet? Why does it always jump to the Call her daddy chapter when you open it? And also, building superstars. Is.

[Dave]

Neither of you is anywhere in the book mentioned in the book? I'm not mentioned.

[Ron]

I had a feeling I was. I was about to ask, and then

[Dave]

I was glad it would be so weird. I. I was glad I was not. Yeah, yeah, it'd be weird as fuck. I don't think it'd be good.

[Ron]

Yeah, it wouldn't be any.

[Dave]

At one point, we had to fire the fuck face, who's written a bunch of this.

[Francis]

Yeah, well, we had him back on at the insistence of his friends.

[Ron]

You should have. You should have written, like, half the book about that. That's like, when does it end? That's the focal point of the. The book ends with you getting hired back.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Pat, Alex Cooper, Caleb Presley, bus and etc. Like, he could have just kept on adding commas and threw a couple more names in there. It's tough just for the boys, but stuff, you know.

[Dave]

No, you should count your blessings.

[Ron]

Is that those are the only superstars he listed.

[Francis]

Yep, those are the superstars. Well, I think in that chapter, he has biz. I think I'M fine with that. And he had. Yeah, he had Josh Prey in there too. What the hell?

[Ron]

There's a whole chapter on prey and publicity.

[Francis]

Eat, pray, love publicity and pray.

[Ron]

I thought I saw publicity at the airport the other day.

[Francis]

She was probably on her way.

[Ron]

Very well could have been her.

[Francis]

Yeah, she was on her way to one of her weddings.

[Dave]

You know what was interesting about this book was that when we came back with edits for. For Dave's version, the publisher wanted him to add more stuff about his work with animal rescue. Stuff. Stuff. And he was like, I don't really. He's like, I don't want to. I don't want to self promote. I don't want to self aggrandize, basically.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Francis]

But on the back of the book is a picture of him with Peaches and Pete.

[Dave]

Well, eventually he. I think he decided he wanted to donate a portion of the. Of the proceeds to. To that. But he just didn't want to be too heavy handed with like, look at how generous and charitable I am.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Which is kind of impressive except for

[Francis]

there is a whole subsect of the book about the bar stool.

[Dave]

There is, but that's because that meant so much to him.

[Francis]

Oh. Oh, yeah, totally.

[Dave]

Whereas all those dogs he rescues, he just kills.

[Francis]

Yeah, he's just Cruella de Vil. Yeah. Dave has been wearing a lot of dog skin coats lately. What the hell is that all about?

[Ron]

It's a nice J jacket. It's Ms. Peaches.

[Dave]

I keep my St Bernard coat under the bed for winter.

[Ron]

Have you ever seen that episode of Always Sunny where they move to the suburbs?

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Ron]

He's like, news flash.

[Dave]

I've been hearing it the whole time.

[Ron]

Yeah, but the part where he's like, he's like, I'm not surprised that Dennis likes Dennis. And he's like, what? He's like, you're eating the dog. It's in the Mac and cheese. He's like, what, you think I didn't notice you added meat chunks to the, to the Mac and cheese. I think that's probably. I think that I would actually go as far to say that's probably my favorite episode of any show ever. It's so funny. It's unbelievable.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Ron]

All right. Okay, we can wrap it up.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Hey, we're going to have a bunch more episodes coming out over. Over the break. Regularly scheduled programming over our break. We wanted to make sure that you guys have something to watch. So next week you can look out for Nick and KB on Tuesday and Coach Gruden on Thursday. Nick and kb. Absolute classic episode with the Anus guys and Coach Gruden. You know, a little something different should be very fun.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Francis]

But please, please, if you're this deep in the video, too, we want to make sure that Chase is. Is like, feels good about our partnership. It'll do so much for us. Just like upvote the video. That's the least we could ask. Subscribe, comment, all that stuff. But just give us a little upload of the video. It will help. We're going to try to keep on making fun stuff.

[Ron]

Peace.