Apocalypto | Son of a Boy Dad #360

Summary

Son of a Boy Dad #360: "Apocalypto"

Date: December 16, 2025
Hosts: Lil Sasquatch (Sass), Rone (known here as Harry), Francis, special mentions of others
Theme: Navigating adulthood, the yearning for heroism, travel stories, stand-up life, gaming, and humorous life mishaps—all in the style of loose, self-deprecating, irreverent banter.

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Episode Overview

In this laid-back yet rapid-fire episode, Lil Sasquatch reflects on his recent college dropout status, asking his crew and producer Rone to help fill in the “gaps” in his education—namely, how to become a man and navigate adulthood. Interspersed are stories about failed heroics, comedy club mishaps, airport adventures, material possessions, and casual digs at one another’s personalities. The episode title, "Apocalypto," is a recurring punchline, referencing both Mel Gibson’s brutal action film and the general chaos of modern life.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Francis’ Hair Transplant Journey

[01:28-02:17]

• Francis unveils his new short haircut and admits it's for an upcoming hair transplant.
• Jokes about perceptions—he has either “the most hair anyone has seen” or “an obviously receding hairline.”
• Everyone riffs on ethnic stereotypes (Italians, Greeks = "the hairy ones”) and bodies of water (Aegean vs. Adriatic).

2. Getting Basic Facts Wrong (and Owning It)

[03:31-04:02]

• Sass is roasted for misidentifying a largemouth bass (on a fish pipe gift) as a trout, leading to riffs on Meet the Parents.
• Francis questions Sass’s authenticity as a “fisherman” and jokes about CIA front identities.

3. Camouflaged Heroics & Secret Identities

[05:09-08:06]

• Francis develops a theory: Sass is hiding superhero powers behind mediocrity.
• “You’re really throwing people—the real antihero.” – Francis [07:25]
• Comparisons to Clark Kent, Bruce Wayne, and even Deadpool, segueing into opinions on Ryan Reynolds.

4. Ryan Reynolds: Love or Loathe?

[08:11-10:01]

• A debate on Ryan Reynolds’ likability, with Sass leading the charge: “Ryan Reynolds might be my least favorite person walking the planet.” [08:15]
• Francis attempts to defend him, citing his comedic timing and business prowess.

5. Hero Fantasies vs. Real Life Opportunities

[13:05-16:56]

• Francis expresses a near-obsessive desire to be a real-life hero after hearing about a Bondi Beach attack.
• Daydreams about saving people from helicopter crashes: “I have not had the opportunity.” [13:35]
• Sass and Harry tease Francis about missed chances—catching bad guys, being “Mother Teresa” by helping the blind.

6. Comedy Club & Stand-up Mishaps

[22:12-25:16]

• Sass recounts a Dallas show where an audience member got kicked out for drunken antics and a failed attempt at a “human trafficking” joke.
• Detail on the code words used by club security for trouble (“this guy really thinks he’s part of the show”).
• “Took the room to a dead silence. It was pretty uncomfortable.” — Sass [25:22]

7. Airline Loyalty, Status, and Delays

[25:52-28:13]

• Sass rants about Delta’s handling of blizzard flight delays, while Harry and Francis defend the airline.
• Ongoing jokes about airline status matching, credit card perks, and spending sprees to maintain loyalty.

8. Rental Cars & Travel Hacks

[29:33-31:16]

• Discussion of the Hertz Gold membership, allowing you to skip rental lines—a recurring symbol of adulthood and privilege.
• “I would have been waiting an hour and a half.” — Sass on Hertz Gold’s value [30:15]

9. Flipping, Fakes, and the Resale Market

[66:25-72:07]

• The hosts reveal their side hustles flipping streetwear and sneakers, both genuine and fake.
• Francis: “If anyone is interested in buying some really, really sick Jordans at a very steep discount…” [71:19]
• Discussion of fake vs. real luxury goods, with Francis embracing knock-offs and claiming Gen-Z’s normalization of fakes.

10. Airport Gaming Lounge Adventure

[44:24-47:58]

• Sass describes discovering a gaming room at Dallas airport—“Heaven.” [44:52]
• Played Counter-Strike at 6:50am, went back after a flight delay to play more—with a sickly staff member repeatedly warning, “I threw up this morning.”
• “He was telling everyone as they walked in.” — Sass [48:06]
• Everyone jokes about hygiene, gaming culture, and airport amenities.

11. Baby Jesus Pageant & Holiday Prep

[51:01-53:51]

• Harry boasts both twins played Baby Jesus in a Christmas pageant, swapping roles “Mary Kate and Ashley style.”
• Francis and Sass riff on pageant logistics, bragging rights, and family holiday gifting.

12. Gift Giving & Family Holiday Politics

[80:45-84:11]

• Francis laments spending big on family presents for sister’s kids, getting little in return.
• Sass and Harry endorse “no gifts with siblings,” while Francis quips “this is not a no-gift podcast.”
• “I’ve gotten you like 50 gifts in the last three weeks and you’ve gotten me nothing.”—Francis [84:02]

13. Loose Ends: Life, Content, and What’s Next

[73:57-77:23]

• Brainstorming upcoming content: Golf and fishing trips, potential video collaborations.
• Ongoing debates about building PCs, gaming set-ups, cuisine (steakhouse stories), and anxiety about fake luxury.
• Closing banter about obscure facts, plans, and gift ideas.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On heroism fantasy:
  “My undying fantasy...I wake up from dreams and feel good that I have done something like that, only to realize I haven’t. And therefore I can’t die yet.”
  — Francis [13:05]

• On Ryan Reynolds:
  “Ryan Reynolds might be my least favorite person walking the planet. He seems like the worst person to sit down and have a conversation with.”
  — Sass [08:15]

• On adulting:
  “You went the opposite route from the glitzy, glamorous billionaire playboy...You’re really throwing people—the real antihero.”
  — Francis [07:25]

• On streaming at airports:
  “That setup was better than the setup I have in my house.”
  — Sass [46:19]

• On gifting justice:
  “I’ve gotten you like 50 gifts in the last three weeks and you’ve gotten me nothing.”
  — Francis [84:02]

• On fakes and the modern market:
  “The fake market has become cool and Gen Z has totally embraced buying knockoffs.”
  — Francis [69:06]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:28] Hair transplant talk and ethnic hair genetics
• [05:09] Francis’s "Superhero Camouflage" theory
• [08:15] Sass on Ryan Reynolds
• [13:05] Heroism obsession after Bondi
• [22:14] Comedy club ejection codes and stories
• [25:52] Delta Airlines rant/loyalty schemes
• [30:03] Rental car (Hertz Gold) hacks
• [44:24] Gaming lounge at Dallas airport
• [51:05] Twins as Baby Jesus pageant
• [66:25] Fake vs. real luxury discussion
• [71:19] “Sick Jordans” for sale
• [80:45] Family gift economies, holiday angst
• [84:02] “No gift” banter

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Tone & Style Notes

• Conversational, irreverent, performatively clueless, with each participant taking jabs at himself and others.
• Frequent callbacks, meta-podcasting jokes, and open mockery of modern adult problems (airline status, flipping sneakers, gifting).
• Allusions to masculinity, heroism, and the ideal “worldview” learned through failure and embarrassment.
• The “Apocalypto” reference functions as both literal and metaphorical shorthand for chaos and survival in modern life.

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For New Listeners

Expect a mix of absurdity and candidness: stories oscillate between “big life lessons” (or lack thereof), jokes about masculinity, and the minutiae of travel and gaming. If you’re new, you’ll feel like you’re dropped into a bar conversation that’s already rolling. Whether dissecting failed hero moments or defending fake sunglasses, the tone is always both knowing and gleefully self-effacing.

Transcript

[Harry]

Hey, Son of a boy. Dad. Listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.

[Sass]

I'm not going back to college to be your friend.

[Francis]

I'm going so I can get Uber one for students.

[Sass]

It saves you on Uber and Uber eats. I'm there for $0 delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 10% off smoothies, and.

[Harry]

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[Sass]

Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think college is for. Get Uber for students a membership to.

[Francis]

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[Sass]

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[Francis]

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[Sass]

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[Francis]

All right.

[Sass]

Ready?

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Sass]

All righty. Welcome back to the Son of a Boy dad podcast. It is December 15th, and we are here live from HQ. Trays.

[Harry]

Francis. Beautiful haircut.

[Francis]

Thanks. I had to do it.

[Harry]

What do you mean you had to do it?

[Francis]

For the hair transplant I'm getting.

[Sass]

Oh, yes, yes.

[Harry]

You had to get less hair before you get more.

[Francis]

Yeah, you got to bring it all the way down. All the way down so that the surgeon has a clear view of which. Which are the best plants to pull that scalp from the back to the front.

[Harry]

He can't just push it to the side. What do you mean? Like, just push it. He. He can't have a better view unless it's all short.

[Francis]

You know, I wondered that. I did wonder that, but no, apparently, yeah, he's going to pull. He's going to pull him right from the. From the roots.

[Sass]

What are the odds they go in and you go in and they're just like, no, we've already done.

[Francis]

We've already determined.

[Sass]

It's so weird that, like, we're not going to rip your scalp apart right now.

[Francis]

As soon as I told the world that I was doing this, everyone started being like, dude, what? You got the most hair of anyone I've ever seen. You look Italian.

[Harry]

Yeah, you do.

[Francis]

It's like. But five minutes ago, people were, like, mocking me for my obviously receding hairline.

[Harry]

Who Mocked. You tell us their names.

[Francis]

I don't know.

[Sass]

Give us names.

[Francis]

Non Italian people, non Greeks. Yeah. The hairless.

[Harry]

The Northern Europeans. From nowhere near the Adriatic. What sea is it that they share? Is that.

[Francis]

What is that the Northern Europeans?

[Harry]

Aegean.

[Francis]

That's Italy and Croatia and all the former Yugoslav. No, that's the Adriatic. Sorry. The Aegean is where the. Is the Greek sea, dude.

[Sass]

Greek sea. It's a new one to me. I've never. I don't know if I'm familiar.

[Francis]

Surround Greece.

[Harry]

The Turanian is on the other side. Turanians on the other side of Rome.

[Sass]

The Turanian.

[Harry]

T Y R R H E N I A N. You'd think that that make it into more geography books, but you don't hear anybody talk. The Terranian.

[Sass]

No, my lack of. My knowledge of bodies of water outside of America is. Is quite small.

[Harry]

Do you even know the Great Lakes?

[Sass]

Don't worry about it, Harry. How come about that?

[Francis]

How come you didn't know that the pipe that we got you was a largemouth bass?

[Sass]

You know, I wondered that myself and I think it was just. I think I just assumed it was a trout.

[Francis]

Why?

[Sass]

Because, like, I'm a trout fish. I fish for trout. But I don't know why. I genuinely. People were furious about it.

[Francis]

I wasn't.

[Sass]

I understand. I understand why. Reasonably, reasonably mad.

[Francis]

I felt like. I very much felt like that scene in Meet the Parents when Ben Stiller presents Robert De Niro, your.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Autograph hero, of course, with a plant. And it's the rare tulip. And he gives it to him as this really thoughtful gift because in theory, Robert De Niro is a rare plant shop, of course.

[Harry]

Owner.

[Francis]

Owner, of course. And he says it's this. And then Robert De Niro is totally unimpressed and then fumbles his way through naming it.

[Sass]

Yeah, I know the exact.

[Francis]

Oh, it is a largemouth bass. Oh, yeah. I should have known. Clearly, you don't know much about fish.

[Harry]

No.

[Francis]

Which makes me wonder if the whole fish thing is just a front from. For some other than the CIA. Could be that.

[Sass]

I will say in my defense, typically largemouth bass don't have a inhaling hole in the front of them and a massive, massive barrel in the front to stuff.

[Francis]

That's what threw you.

[Sass]

Yeah, that is what threw me.

[Francis]

The fact that it was a pipe made it so that you could not identify the species of fish. A little bit.

[Sass]

Yeah. A little.

[Francis]

You know, this does bring to bear a thought, which is that, you know, superheroes who want to protect their real Identity so often go to great lengths to present a completely different opposite character. Yeah. If you are patrolling the streets at night.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And keeping the people of New York City safe. What you've created as the foil to that is the best camouflage that any superhero has ever made. Yeah.

[Sass]

No, I'm not protect. I'm not. I'm not keeping the streets clean.

[Francis]

That's exactly what you would say.

[Sass]

I wish I was.

[Francis]

And let's, let's, let's look at the facts for a second. You're constantly tired from going to bed super late.

[Sass]

No, no, no. I've actually. My sleep schedule's been phenomenal lately.

[Francis]

Yeah, well, my Donnie's cleaned up the street, so you don't have as much to do anymore. Right.

[Harry]

Yep.

[Francis]

Secondly, he pretends not to be a good athlete. You pretend not to be.

[Harry]

But like whenever we put him in an athletic situation, he thrives. Can wrangle a bad guy or whatever.

[Sass]

What are these situ. These, this athletic argument? I'm. I'm. I'm very lost.

[Harry]

Golf, swinging hockey, playing fish, casting, shooting. All these things that you are just good enough at where you couldn't pretend to be bad.

[Sass]

But I was terrible at shooting. Terrible at golf.

[Francis]

Yeah, but you, shooting, shooting. You, you, you intentionally.

[Sass]

We didn't catch any fish.

[Francis]

There were none to catch. They knew you were coming.

[Harry]

Right, exactly. Not going outside with that thing up there.

[Francis]

Yeah. Oh, shit. Guess who's here.

[Sass]

Fishing is also. I don't know if I would call that athletic.

[Francis]

You do this.

[Sass]

I mean, I would, trust me, I would love to be an athlete.

[Harry]

But I think to your point, things like Clark Kent being like this fucking studly reporter, that's obvious. Bruce Wayne being this fucking jacked up billionaire, that's obvious dude. Of course he's the one who's fucking in the bat filling out the Batman suit.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Sass]

Trust me. I mean, I wish I was these things that you guys think that I am.

[Francis]

You went the opposite route.

[Sass]

I went what?

[Francis]

You went the opposite route from the sort of glitzy, glamorous billionaire playboy.

[Sass]

Exactly.

[Francis]

By the way, that's all of them, right? Iron man, billionaire, philanthropist, playboy, Green Lantern. They're all hot. You're. You're really throwing people real anti hero.

[Harry]

Like, like Daredevil. Like the super jacked blind guys, obviously. The super Jack blind superhero.

[Sass]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course.

[Francis]

You are keeping the people in your life safe.

[Sass]

Yes, yes.

[Francis]

Right. Isn't that the idea? Is that you protect you? You keep your identity secret so that the people, you know, the bad guys don't go after them.

[Sass]

Exactly.

[Harry]

Deadpool, the guy who's making the, like, quippy, like, pithy comments in real life is obviously the superhero making the fucking pithy comments.

[Sass]

You guys ever get into Deadpool?

[Harry]

It was even too much for me.

[Sass]

Too much for me as well.

[Harry]

I liked Ryan Reynolds up until that first one was.

[Sass]

I think Ryan Reynolds might be my least favorite person walking the planet. That guy is just. I can't stand him. He seems like he would be the worst person to, like, sit down and have a conversation with.

[Francis]

Oh, I don't know about that.

[Sass]

Oh, I think he's got a fucking stick his ass.

[Francis]

I don't think the. I don't think the Blake Lively Justin Maldoni thing did him any favors.

[Sass]

And see, I'm not even tuned in on that. I'm going off just raw personality here.

[Francis]

But what do you know of his personality? He's got comedic timing.

[Sass]

Oh, he has a little too many bone in his body.

[Harry]

No, he's like a little bit too moist of comedic time.

[Sass]

His comedic timing is the comedic timing that someone told him is comedic time.

[Francis]

No.

[Sass]

Yeah, he learned it in a Be ready. In a book.

[Francis]

No, dude, go watch him. Go watch him do some SNL stuff.

[Sass]

I will say I'm not very familiar with his SNL stuff, but that I don't know all of his movies. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not a Ryan.

[Harry]

He lays it on thick.

[Sass]

I'm not a Ryan Reynolds guy.

[Harry]

But I think that we come from a different age where we saw him in Van Wilder and, oh, he's next up.

[Francis]

And the rom coms, definitely, maybe Unbelievable.

[Harry]

Movie early on with that kind of stuff. It's like, oh, he's got it. And then he started to read his own press clippings. And then he started being this marmy. He thinks he is Daredevil.

[Sass]

He does. And he ruined Rob McElhenny too. Yeah, he destroyed him.

[Harry]

He wrecks him.

[Francis]

If you feel that way, then you'd have to say Rob McElhenny ruined Rob McElhenny.

[Sass]

Well, he did.

[Francis]

By going full.

[Sass]

By going Rob Mack.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sass]

He went Rob Mack. Yeah, yeah. But that's all. You can't tell me you don't think Ryan Reynolds wasn't behind Rob Mack.

[Francis]

I think that. I think that if from the mind.

[Sass]

That brought you Ryan Reynolds, we present Rob Mack, Ryren.

[Francis]

And Rob Mack. You know, look, if that's true, it would be because Rob McElhenny was aspiring to be Ryan Reynolds, not because Ryan Reynolds said hey, Rob McElhenny, I want you to become me and let's go buy a soccer team together.

[Sass]

And like, I think that's. I think it was. They were rolling. They bought the soccer team. You know, maybe things weren't like. Maybe, you know, they would go have their big meetings and stuff, sit at their big important meetings, and maybe they were like, Rob Mack's not really on that level of Ryan Reynolds, that level of, like, swagger.

[Harry]

I think we have to be careful because I think that if Francis gets really successful, he could wind up as Franel and you could go that full direction. Like, if you got crazy successful, you would probably, like, buy, like, a low tier British soccer team on a whim and be like, I'm gonna build them to, like, the top and do cricket wireless commercials and stuff like that.

[Francis]

Of course I would.

[Harry]

For staking the company.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Yeah. Make brilliant financial decisions. But Rob Ryren bought a gin company.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And then sold it, I'm pretty sure, for like $400 million.

[Sass]

Yes.

[Francis]

Those are.

[Sass]

Hey, he's a great businessman.

[Francis]

Those are the moves you make when you are savvy.

[Sass]

Yeah, no, he's savvy. He's a good businessman.

[Francis]

By the way, Fran L has a nice ring to it. That makes me sound like one of the sons of Kal El.

[Harry]

Yeah. Or like Lee San Al Ghib.

[Francis]

Do you know who Kal El is?

[Sass]

I don't know.

[Francis]

That's Superman's dad, I'm pretty sure. Or it is Superman.

[Sass]

In real life. In real life or in the movie?

[Francis]

I don't know what Real life.

[Sass]

Like, is that the name of the actor?

[Francis]

Kal? Yeah.

[Harry]

You know, Superman's not real.

[Sass]

His real name's not Cal.

[Francis]

The Krypton people, they were the L family.

[Sass]

He was royalty.

[Francis]

It was. Can we look that up really quick?

[Harry]

No, you're right.

[Sass]

I think. I think you're right.

[Francis]

I know I'm right. I'm just wondering why. What the L part is. Is Cal L Superman or is that his dad is the question. I'm. I'm wondering.

[Harry]

That's Khalid El Amin, I think. Oh.

[Sass]

Kryptonian birth name for the Superman of Earth 2.

[Harry]

The Kryptonian birth name of the Superman of Earth 2.

[Francis]

I don't know exactly what that means.

[Sass]

But Be a cousin.

[Francis]

Yeah. Can we just briefly touch on what happened in Bondi beach in Australia?

[Sass]

Sure.

[Francis]

Okay, sure. We're not going weird, I promise. Obviously. Horrific nightmare.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Tragedy. We're not making it. Whatever.

[Sass]

We.

[Francis]

We understand that. And super sad and whatever. All of that, however, there was a hero.

[Sass]

Oh, there was. And it was. Yeah. That was sick. I saw that video this morning.

[Francis]

There was a hero. There was a hero who came out from behind a car and took the gun away from one of the assassins. And this is my fantasy. Yes, it is my undying fantasy. It's all I think about. I think about it. I wake up sometimes from dreams and feel good that I have done something like that, only to realize I haven't.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And therefore I can't die yet.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Because the thing I've been put on the earth to do, which is to stop a mass casualty event, I have not had the opportunity.

[Sass]

Well, I think you got to start. You got to start smaller, you know, maybe with like a single casualty event.

[Francis]

Well, I'm building my 1v1.

[Sass]

You got to get in a 1v1.

[Francis]

First I held on to the guy who knocked the old man down, but then he.

[Sass]

He broke free.

[Francis]

Well, he didn't break free.

[Harry]

He got out.

[Francis]

Trying to let him go.

[Sass]

He broke free. You think I couldn't have run out of the jacket.

[Francis]

Yeah, but that guy. Dude, do you know how fast I am?

[Sass]

Not as fast as that guy. Wrong. He's had.

[Harry]

Francis has had chances.

[Francis]

What was I supposed to do with that guy? We had nothing on him.

[Sass]

Take him out.

[Francis]

What then? What then? I'm going to prison.

[Harry]

You cheap shot. Gave him one cheap shot.

[Francis]

Thought about it.

[Harry]

That's what, a fucking, like a knee to the thigh? Give him a dead leg at least.

[Francis]

But then you're beating up on a guy who's drunk.

[Sass]

Oh, he was drunk.

[Francis]

Yeah, I told you that.

[Sass]

I don't think. I don't think I got that part.

[Francis]

He's very. He's pretty drunk.

[Sass]

The guy assumed he wasn't because it was the middle of the day.

[Francis]

I would have. I had the same thought.

[Sass]

Well, if he's drunk, I mean, then.

[Harry]

You gotta be, you know, bad.

[Sass]

He had a bad day.

[Francis]

The Chinese would say he was overserved. His true self.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

We see one's true colors when we drink.

[Sass]

Exactly.

[Francis]

We lose the facade.

[Harry]

But he got a little overserved.

[Sass]

He was overserved. What you should have done is you should have said, take me to wherever you were drinking. These bartenders need to learn.

[Harry]

You should have beat up the bartender. Yeah.

[Sass]

Yeah. Look what you did to this guy.

[Francis]

How did you let this guy go without a water? Give him a coffee. Black coffee.

[Sass]

No, you can't leave.

[Francis]

So I start there, right? The big one. I'm the big one. I'm waiting for Which I have talked about. This is my crowning achievement. What is? Helicopter crashes. East River. I take my shoes off, dive in. It's sinking. I go down, unstrap the unconscious family of four, and on each arm I take two. I might even have to go down one more time. But by that point, there is still tiny pocket of air in the.

[Sass]

Yeah, yeah. There's still breath, but it's just. It's just starting to break through the windows.

[Francis]

No, no, no, it's. There's water everywhere. I mean, I can barely see. But fortunately, my iPhone is waterproof, so there is a light on that.

[Sass]

So you're using the flashlight from your iPhone?

[Harry]

Of course.

[Francis]

East River's, like 70ft deep, at least.

[Sass]

Yeah, I don't know how bright that would be in the east river, though. It's brown.

[Francis]

Well, I know. Let's put it this way. I am clearing the pressure from my ears at least four or five times on the. Yeah. Chopper.

[Sass]

Yeah, that's smart.

[Harry]

But like Francis, the universe has given you multiple options to have little, like, wins.

[Francis]

Am I losing credibility as a hero?

[Harry]

The one guy, the four guys on.

[Francis]

The bike, that's the one that's worse.

[Harry]

That got away. The drunk guy who said the slurs and shove. The old man. They got away. The city. The criminals have never been more comfortable in New York City when they see Francis walking up.

[Francis]

Well, maybe I'm doing the sass thing and lulling them into a false sense of security. You can't be a hero too, obviously, because then people will know, oh, that's the guy. Let's go after his family.

[Sass]

I think you need. I think you need a. You need a win. You know, you need. You need an official.

[Francis]

Like, why do you think I'm going to New Zealand? They're next.

[Sass]

It could. It could be. You could do something small, like, say, stop. Like maybe. Like a. Maybe someone runs a red light on a bike and you shut it down.

[Harry]

Shoplifter.

[Sass]

You take them to the ground, stop.

[Francis]

Traffic on the people from cutting on the sidewalk.

[Sass]

Yeah, we need. But you need. That was. I mean, that was years ago.

[Francis]

Yeah, but it goes viral every time.

[Sass]

Yeah, but. I know, but we need another.

[Francis]

You think I can't.

[Sass]

You're a hero. You're living.

[Francis]

Living on mambo number five for 30 years, dude. Okay? When you make a hit that timeless, you can chill.

[Sass]

I think what we need to do is we need to get you just with the meta glasses on and just have you just walking around the city, just putting people in their place, correcting.

[Francis]

Them or helping posture. But I also help. I also do sort of the unsung, unseen things. Like I help the. Quite literally help the blind.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

That is one of your best.

[Sass]

That's heroic.

[Francis]

I did that.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Three blocks.

[Harry]

But that's like. That's. It's not like, quite like vigilante stopping a mass casualty event. That's like a different bucket of altruism. That's like Mother Teresa.

[Francis]

You're right. And you know what? He was never gonna lose his life. Which is why I did think about actually walking us in front of a Mack truck and then at the last second, grabbing him and be like, oh.

[Sass]

Yeah, and you get hit.

[Francis]

And then I've snow. I don't know.

[Sass]

Oh, maybe you get clipped a little bit.

[Harry]

Or we could simulate it. I think, like, we. He doesn't have to know that you were never gonna get hit, so we just come by and like. Like run into you, like. And like, you're like, oh, fuck, that was just a car. I just.

[Francis]

Oh, you saved you.

[Harry]

Yeah. And just like, tell the blind guy that we saved his life, kind of. So you don't have to actually be in danger. But he doesn't have to know. It's victimless.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Ron could come to his accents. I'. Man, that truck was driven by a Native American chief.

[Harry]

Oh, my goodness. My apologies. I didn't even see you there.

[Francis]

That's okay, sir.

[Sass]

I'm also blind.

[Francis]

We'll call it even. For stealing your land.

[Harry]

Okay, truce? Yeah. That is the dream. Just not having to actually do it, but getting the credit for it.

[Francis]

All right, so to back to the guy in Australia. First of all, I've been to Bondi beach.

[Harry]

Same.

[Francis]

It's probably the coolest beach in the world, as far as I can tell. It's amazing.

[Harry]

There's, like, beautiful rock formations at the end of it.

[Francis]

Endless. It's huge.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And that guy, he took the gun away and he. You know, I will say that, like, from a tackling perspective, his form questionable, right?

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Wrap up.

[Sass]

Yeah, but.

[Harry]

But then the guy can help keep holding the gun if you wrap up at the waist. I think he went for, like, the Brian Dawkins wing tackle and kind of like smack the shoulders down. So this guy could it on such a long.

[Francis]

You're not wrong. The question would be, in that situation, if you guys disarm that guy, do.

[Sass]

You shoot him now? But, like, if someone did, I wouldn't care, you know? But like me now, you wouldn't have.

[Francis]

Been able to pull that trigger. Safety's off. He's been firing it.

[Sass]

It's right there. No, no, no, I'm not. I'm not a killer.

[Harry]

Would you empty that. Would you go like, ah. And empty the clip into the ground or something like that? Like, hold it to your head for a second and show him you're crazy like Casey Affleck. There's so many options.

[Francis]

But a couple shots to the knee. Kneecap.

[Sass]

Yeah, Yeah, I could see.

[Francis]

You would shoot him in the knee. Yeah, yeah, I think I would try to do that. Miss. And hit him in the square of the face, like. Oh.

[Harry]

And that's where the Daniel Penny stuff comes in back in for you. Yeah, yeah. That's. That's brutal. But. And how about it was like a Hanukkah celebration at the beach that day.

[Francis]

Yeah. I mean, it's a nightmare.

[Harry]

So sad. But imagine the amount of zinc at that beach.

[Sass]

Zinc?

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Why?

[Harry]

You know, you put zinc on your nose when it's like. Really?

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Zinc oxide paste.

[Sass]

Of course.

[Francis]

Of course.

[Sass]

I don't ever do that.

[Harry]

Well, you're only half.

[Sass]

Yeah. I'm so confused. Is that people. That's what people put on their nose.

[Harry]

Is zinc, that white stuff?

[Sass]

I thought it was sunscreen.

[Francis]

No, it is a form of sunscreen. That's the most intense sunscreen, really. It's basically the cement of sunscreen.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

I hate to wipe that stuff off with a. With a makeup remover. You can't. It just comes off like this. You can't wash it off in the shower.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Why do you take zinc? To shoot ropes?

[Sass]

No, I took it last week because I was feeling sick.

[Francis]

You don't sound great.

[Sass]

I mean, I'm still not feeling right.

[Francis]

Is that from what you've been up to at night?

[Sass]

What have I been up to at night?

[Francis]

Prowling. Patrolling.

[Sass]

Patrolling the streets?

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Sass]

No, no, that's a pro. Staff just traveling a bunch. Haven't. Hadn't had a day off in a couple weeks.

[Francis]

So you want to tell us about Dallas? Anything fun happen?

[Sass]

Yeah, Dallas was fun.

[Francis]

Shows were good.

[Sass]

What's up?

[Francis]

Someone got kicked out of the show.

[Sass]

Oh, yeah. I mean, on, like, the Friday Late show, someone got kicked out, but it wasn't anything.

[Francis]

How did you manage that?

[Sass]

Oh, I didn't do anything.

[Francis]

Club people.

[Sass]

Yeah, I mean, people were, you know, if. I guess if you're at a show and someone gets kicked out, it's, like, memorable, but it's not. It was not one that, like, you would have ever. It's not one that I would have been, like, I gotta tell you guys about this guy that got kicked out. It's just some drunk dude.

[Harry]

You just touch your nose. Like Putin. Like, you ever see that video and, like, Putin's taking a picture and there's like, someone in the front row. You just touch his nose and then they disappear?

[Sass]

Yeah, no, it was. It was just some drunk dude. He was just hammered. I mean, he really. What? He. I think he, like, voluntarily, like, they went up to him and he was like, I'm leaving. Yeah, I get it. Yeah.

[Harry]

He was the same guy from Francis. His thing.

[Sass]

Yeah, yeah, could have been, dude.

[Francis]

So when I was in Boston, the security guard came into the green room.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And he had this whole amazing sort of speech.

[Sass]

Did they do, like, code words?

[Francis]

He goes. He goes, yeah. He was like. He was like, all right, so here's what happens. If we have an unruly customer that you want removed or you want us to keep an eye on them, to give them a warning. The first thing you say is if they're talking back to you, Right. You go, boy, this guy really thinks he's part of the show. Which is code for us go over to that guy. Now, if we talk to him and he doesn't hush up and he's bothering you still, you're gonna say again, this guy really, really thinks he's part of the show. And I was like, dude, can I just be like, can we kick that guy out? I don't know if I can remember this mumbo.

[Harry]

We won't understand that riddle in the.

[Francis]

Middle of my set. Like, yeah, I have no problem. Usually I just say to the people, I'm like, let's get this guy a water.

[Sass]

That's what they said to me this weekend.

[Francis]

Get him out of here.

[Sass]

They're like, if you need someone to get out, just be like, can we get this guy a water?

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Sass]

Which also, though I still. If I actually wanted someone out, I'm still just going to say, can we get this guy out? I'm not going to be like, let's get this guy a water.

[Francis]

Well, the problem is, have you ever.

[Sass]

I saw the guy, he would not have been accepting any water. He wanted Modelos. He was only drinking Modelos. That's why I was like, I, I. When you said that, I didn't even know you were talking about. Because it was just like, he was just like a Mexican bro, just having fun.

[Harry]

Right?

[Sass]

He wasn't.

[Harry]

And you wanted him to off color.

[Sass]

Joke at one point that maybe he shouldn't have made.

[Harry]

What did he say?

[Sass]

I have a bit about, like, human trafficking and. And like, the signs in the bathroom. And he said, like, I would. I don't know, I want to give away the entire joke, but he said something about how, like, it would be better if there were. No, he was like. He said something like in. In the, like, pro human trafficking. But I.

[Harry]

It was.

[Sass]

I don't think he was being serious.

[Harry]

Yeah, he's joking.

[Sass]

At the comedy show, he was blacked out, out of his mind. He's trying to get his own. Get a couple shots on himself, you know?

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

He sees you swishing all these three.

[Sass]

Wants a couple laughs.

[Francis]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Sass]

I don't blame him.

[Francis]

He's just throwing the home run ball back.

[Sass]

Yeah, exactly.

[Harry]

Hit at all. Was his joke funny?

[Sass]

No. I took the room to a dead silence. It was pretty uncomfortable.

[Harry]

Oh, poor guy.

[Francis]

But human trafficking, I say we go even younger.

[Sass]

Yeah, it was. Yeah, the shows were fun. Solid shows.

[Francis]

Nice.

[Harry]

Yeah, I took. I took umbrage with something you did this weekend. Sass and not. So what. How. How deep are we in? It's early for airline stuff, but it's just. We're on Dallas.

[Sass]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Harry]

And you said that you had a problem with Delta. Delta sucks ass now because your flight was delayed back into New York City. Every. Everybody's flights were delayed. It was a blizzard. You're like, oh, Delta can't slice through and manipulate the whims of mother Nature. That's not going to happen for any airline that you fly on, dude.

[Sass]

Yeah, yeah. No, look, I mean, Delta, did they handle yesterday's problems efficiently? Yes. They could have done a better job. There could have been more communication between diamond medallions and the staff.

[Francis]

But, I mean, I'm so glad you're not Diamond Next year.

[Sass]

I'm gonna be what I'm gonna be.

[Francis]

You are?

[Sass]

I think so.

[Francis]

No, you're not.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

No way.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

How close? Pull it up right now.

[Sass]

I'm close. I think I'm like three bands away.

[Francis]

3,000?

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

You're not.

[Harry]

Yeah. Well, when are you gonna fly? When are you gonna put three bands on the board?

[Sass]

I'll fucking. I'll figure it out.

[Francis]

Yeah, just do a little round trip weekend to Tokyo, Singapore. What do you think?

[Sass]

Just, like, wait last minute and book my Christmas flights home and spend three bands on them? No, but that'll be like a rack.

[Harry]

Okay. Where's the other two coming from?

[Sass]

I got. I got another weekend.

[Harry]

Where?

[Sass]

In Arlington.

[Harry]

When?

[Sass]

But I think that's actually. I think it's like, January. Yeah.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

You're Also, you're talking about cities that are a 45 minute flight away.

[Harry]

You're gonna spend 3,000 on a trip to a solo flight to Boston.

[Francis]

Unless you're paying for some weird experience where you get to bang a stewardess. Those are not far enough flights where first class tickets are gonna get you there.

[Sass]

Yeah, I'll figure it out. I'll get it. Maybe I'll go to. Maybe I'll go to. Maybe I'll go to Colorado and visit Matt. Go skiing.

[Francis]

But why are you even trying? You've already disavowed Delta.

[Sass]

I have.

[Harry]

Because he knows it's not that bad.

[Sass]

I mean, it's still bad. It's still bad.

[Harry]

You just, you just were mad because there was a blizzard and it's like, dude, that's not, that's not Delta's fault. And it was beautiful. I wish you were back for it.

[Sass]

I mean, look, I don't, I, I don't think I took it. Did I go that hard at Delta?

[Harry]

But I think so.

[Sass]

I don't think I did.

[Francis]

What do you mean? It's been your personal vendetta.

[Sass]

Oh, no. Well, previously, of course. I'm still fully out on Delta. I despise them. Similar to Ryan Reynolds.

[Francis]

Just don't understand why one would sprint towards the Delta finish line when they've already decided they're going in a different direction.

[Sass]

Because I want to do my status match.

[Harry]

Do you.

[Francis]

Are you sure that United will match you to the highest status of Delta?

[Sass]

I think it's either the highest or it's one below.

[Francis]

They're going to bump you one below.

[Sass]

I think they might.

[Francis]

Of course they would do that.

[Sass]

Yeah. I mean, it's still a pretty solid, solid deal.

[Harry]

It is not.

[Sass]

You're jumping to the front of the line. What are you talking about?

[Francis]

It's crazy.

[Harry]

Jumping to the middle of the line.

[Francis]

Yeah. You're jumping to the sort of third. Third or fourth place.

[Sass]

But how many people do you think have top? Do you think there's some people with more? Do you think there's more diamond medallions or more. Whatever the fuck United has?

[Francis]

I think it's probably similar.

[Sass]

Probably whatever.

[Francis]

Share. Whatever share of their flight market share.

[Harry]

Yeah, you're just budding. You're being a line cutter and it's like, I would never do that. You would never do that on the highway. Anything. I would never. Line cut. I hope you're listening.

[Sass]

You're the king of the cut.

[Harry]

What have I, when have I ever.

[Sass]

Line cut. I've seen it.

[Harry]

When?

[Sass]

Many times.

[Harry]

That's not true.

[Francis]

Do you lose your diamond medallion status on Delta? When?

[Sass]

If you do the status matching, I.

[Francis]

Believe you have to.

[Sass]

You have to show proof that you are canceling your account with Delta.

[Harry]

You're not gonna do that. There's zero percent chance that you do that.

[Sass]

Yeah, yeah.

[Francis]

Zero.

[Sass]

Try me.

[Harry]

No, I'm trying you right now. This is the bluff call.

[Sass]

You'll see. I'll come in next week. I'll have the Chase Sapphire card.

[Francis]

Well, I already have it. And tell you what, man. Damn. It's pretty good.

[Sass]

Why the do you have that?

[Francis]

Why not?

[Sass]

I don't know.

[Francis]

They'll pay for themselves if you flip all the benefits on and actually are smart about it.

[Sass]

I finally did the Hertz Gold.

[Francis]

That's nice.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Yeah. That's a nice one.

[Sass]

Not bad. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I, I walk.

[Francis]

Out and take a car like you're stealing it.

[Sass]

It was pretty sick.

[Harry]

Talk to me. Talk to me. I don't know anything about Hertz Gold. I'm not hurts gold. I'm an enterprise, man.

[Francis]

Yeah, but if you have this card, you have that.

[Harry]

Yeah, yeah, talk to me.

[Sass]

You literally just sign up, you set your reservation and then you go over and you just take a car and there's.

[Francis]

You don't have to go to the counter. You don't have to go to the counter. You just go take a car, anyone in a line.

[Harry]

So that saves you the four minutes at the counter.

[Sass]

Four minutes.

[Francis]

Sometimes there's, sometimes there can be 20, 20 people.

[Sass]

I would have been waiting for an hour and a half.

[Harry]

Really?

[Sass]

There was like 70 people in line.

[Francis]

Try going to Orlando. That's. That rental car counter is like, it's like one of those post disaster zones where everyone's trying to find a family member.

[Sass]

Yeah. And they take, they find they. It's like they send out something on like. Indeed. And they're like, we're looking for the oldest person we can possibly find to run Hertz to just run the desk. No one else will be there helping them. It's going to be one 95 year old lady.

[Francis]

Do you type three words a minute? Well, we may have a job for you.

[Harry]

It will always be her first day on the job.

[Sass]

I don't even get mad at those people. I just feel bad for them because I'm like, who fucked up so bad that you got put in this position that you're just here solo?

[Harry]

They're all there waiting on waiting. They're waiting for an influencer to come by and give them a gofundme. They're waiting for someone to be like, what happened to you? Yeah, my benefits collapsed after the GM factory went bankrupt. And then you get fast tracked to the front of the line. Did you guys see that guy at Walmart who this happened to?

[Francis]

Yeah. They made a bunch of money.

[Harry]

He made $1.8 million.

[Francis]

It's amazing. From what?

[Harry]

For me, they made a GoFundMe because they found him because he was working at 88 years old because the GM factory had closed.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

And he lost all of his benefits, his pension.

[Sass]

Damn.

[Harry]

Or they went bankrupt or some shit.

[Francis]

It's an amazing story. Of course, you can't help but wonder, like, maybe if we'd found a guy who was like 78, he might be able to use that money a little longer.

[Harry]

The happiest person is that guy's next of kin.

[Francis]

Oh, there you go. That's a nice way to think of it.

[Harry]

I mean, 88.

[Sass]

1.8 mil. I'm burning. I'm just gonna fly through that if I'm him.

[Harry]

You're getting diamond medallion today. Yeah.

[Francis]

You don't.

[Sass]

Well, you're buying your own plane.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

You're buying a plane or just do like a net. Jets.

[Sass]

There's no point. You don't have to buy a plane.

[Francis]

You don't have to buy a plane.

[Sass]

But I'm assuming a plane's more than $1.8 million.

[Francis]

I don't know what they are for a plane. Some are. Some are.

[Sass]

Imagine it's pretty pricey.

[Harry]

Oh, you're talking about Drake's jet. I'm talking about the four seater that they all show that family in where they're all reading.

[Sass]

I don't want the four. I want the fucking. The Boeing you want.

[Francis]

I think you go middle ground. I think you go G5 or like a hawker 900 or something like that.

[Sass]

Oh, you're throwing around some ball knowledge there.

[Harry]

I like that. Very tippy.

[Sass]

Yeah, that's tippy.

[Harry]

Very tippy for my brother Francis.

[Sass]

We in Dallas.

[Francis]

We.

[Sass]

We got to go to the optic office. That was cool.

[Francis]

That is cool.

[Sass]

It was very cool.

[Harry]

Is that why you booked Dallas?

[Sass]

No, no, it was actually. My agent hit me up and was like. It was pretty last minute that I booked Dallas and then it lined up perfectly with all this.

[Harry]

Coincidence.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Sick. What were those brothers saying?

[Sass]

Not much. I mean, we.

[Harry]

They. What do you think was gomp?

[Sass]

Oh, yeah. Did you link with. I did not see Tooch, unfortunately.

[Francis]

Do you want to connect with him?

[Sass]

I've already been talking to him.

[Francis]

No, you haven't.

[Sass]

Yes, I have.

[Harry]

What about connecting, though?

[Francis]

Are you talking to him on DM or on phone number?

[Sass]

On dm.

[Francis]

Okay, I'll give you his phone number.

[Sass]

He's sending me a controller. He has his own personal scuff.

[Francis]

I think he's gonna send me one too.

[Sass]

What would you use that for?

[Francis]

Have the same thing.

[Sass]

Chess.

[Francis]

Have a controller.

[Sass]

What do you mean you need, you need paddles to play chess?

[Francis]

The Harvard lacrosse team is sending me a helmet. I don't play anymore. It's nice to have these.

[Sass]

That is pretty cool trophies.

[Francis]

These pieces of gratitude.

[Harry]

We should be putting them in plastic cases and putting them on the wall above us.

[Sass]

Yeah, my controller will be going home with me.

[Harry]

I bought you a controller last year and you gave it back to me and charged me for it.

[Sass]

That is not at all how that went down.

[Harry]

It is 100%.

[Sass]

It's not even close to one half. No way.

[Harry]

No, exactly. What happened?

[Sass]

That is such a, that is. You're twisting that story like crazy.

[Harry]

How am I twisting it?

[Sass]

We, I brought my PlayStation to New Orleans for the super bowl, right? And Ron and I were in an Airbnb together and we were going to play some Madden. We only have one controller, though. So Ron said, just get a new controller. I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll take it. So I, I, I door dashed us purple Dualsense.

[Harry]

I said, I'll take it.

[Sass]

Yes.

[Harry]

For a video game system I don't have.

[Sass]

I know. That's why I was surprised.

[Harry]

No. That you made me take it.

[Sass]

No, you were like, I have it.

[Harry]

You made me take it and charge me for it.

[Sass]

And then you kept on being like, you have it. And I was like, I already have controllers. I don't, I'm not gonna do anything with this. And then you took it. I didn't take it.

[Harry]

You left before me. And so I just brought it. So it wasn't just left at the Airbnb.

[Sass]

And what happened was we were originally supposed to go to the super bowl together, Ron and I. I think it was the day prior. He let me know we were not going together. And he had already venmoed me $4,000 for tickets. And I sent back the $4,000 minus 60 for the controller.

[Harry]

It was not 60 either.

[Sass]

Yeah, it was.

[Harry]

It was 90.

[Sass]

It was 90. Yeah. So I took out the 90 for the controller. I sent him back $3,900. That's not a bad deal.

[Harry]

Yeah, I just have a controller that I'm gonna. Or I Think I gave it away. I gave it away to someone. I got. I gave it away to a homeless guy that I saw yelling slurs at someone.

[Sass]

Oh, it better not be true.

[Harry]

I was like, good, good work here.

[Sass]

Because I was a good controller.

[Harry]

I want you to have this controller. He was drunk, but he had no jacket on.

[Sass]

Just a T shirt and Beats headphones.

[Harry]

But I. I forgave him.

[Francis]

That was a good joke.

[Sass]

T shirt and Beats headphones.

[Francis]

Are you. Well, I thought maybe for a second you were saying it was the kid that got out.

[Sass]

That's what Rome was saying of my grip.

[Harry]

Yes, yes, that's what I was saying. And then Sass stole it. Just like that controller.

[Sass]

Exactly. Yeah. I just said it a little louder. Yeah, we got to tour their office. It was fucking sick. Their office is actually. It's pretty similar to this office. It's just like if every single corner you looked in had, like, the nicest gaming PC you've ever seen.

[Harry]

Who's their Dave?

[Sass]

This dude named Hex.

[Harry]

And who's their big cat?

[Sass]

I would say probably Skump.

[Francis]

Do they have anyone named, like, Brian?

[Sass]

Yeah, I'm sure. I mean, I don't know what they're like. Scump's real name is Seth. You know, like, I don't know.

[Francis]

I can see why he went to Skump.

[Sass]

Well, you know, they got to have their gamer tags, right? You got to have your tags. Can't just be going by, like, Seth.

[Francis]

But surely, surely there are people who are not. Are there. Are there some managerial people as part of that group for Optic?

[Sass]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.

[Francis]

That's what I'm saying. Yeah.

[Sass]

Roger. Got to meet Roger.

[Francis]

There you go. There's a Roger.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

We also can't really talk shit because we're the home to Wayne Jet Ski and the Double Vodka and.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Sass]

I'm Lil Sasquatch Roan.

[Francis]

I'm Francis, though.

[Sass]

Yeah, yeah, you. I know you wish you had a little bit of a.

[Harry]

Thank you. Ever consider going with anything?

[Francis]

Yeah, I thought. I thought for a moment.

[Sass]

Falcon.

[Francis]

All right, everybody. I'm getting rid of Falcon. From now on, it's Francis Ellis. I get it. I deserve to be called foul, but.

[Harry]

I just want you guys to know me. For me, it's been exhausting walking around as the Falcon.

[Francis]

Yeah, sick and tired, exactly. Of how it sounds.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Sass]

But yeah, their office was fucking. It was insane. It was like. It was like. I felt like a kid in the candy shop. I just wanted to touch everything.

[Francis]

Big screens and crazy technology and. Yeah, major PCs and yes. All the best stuff.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And they're getting all that for free too?

[Sass]

Some of it, probably.

[Francis]

No, all of it.

[Sass]

I don't know about all of it.

[Francis]

But if really doesn't get free gear from the top companies that make it. Of course they do.

[Sass]

No, they do, but they don't get all of it. I mean like they, they're their players definitely get like all that shit's provided by the league.

[Harry]

We are almost to the end of the 12 days of days of Game Time where they are giving away prizes every day with a $5,000 grand prize at the end. If you still have not entered, go to 12days ofgame time.com with the number 12. 12days of gametime.com it's free and it only takes a few seconds. This season, Game Time is celebrating the moments that made people fans and they have been enabling those moments for the past 12 years now. And of course I could think of a million times that I've been to games and it's really the games that you go to and the people that you're there with that make the memory long lasting. Like I used to go to Eagles games with my friend Tom Leonard and I rarely remember whether they won or lost, but I just remember, wow, this is the true gaming experience. And that's the kind of thing I would enter at 12daysofgametime.com. Go to 12daysofgametime.com today for a chance to experience one of these moments. And of course, we're always using Game Time, the official ticketing partner of Barcelona sports.

[Francis]

Folks, Son of a boy dad is brought to you by Better Help. Okay. This show is sponsored by Better Help. Rewriting traditions Therapy can give you the space to create new, meaningful traditions, providing clarity amid the holiday chaos. The holidays are a time of traditions. Some people have many in their family, while some may have none or are just beginning their own. Now's the time to reflect on what they mean to you or to rewrite those traditions and make your own. Like perfecting a new hot chocolate recipe with the kids or continuing your great aunt's sweet potato pie. Incorporating therapy into your new or existing traditions can help ensure you take time for yourself during what can be a very joyful but sometimes hectic and lonely time of the year. BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. A short questionnaire helps identify your needs and preferences. And our 12 plus years of experience and industry leading match fulfillment rate means we typically get it right the first time. If you aren't happy with your match, Switch to a different therapist at any time from our tailored Rex. I understand too, by the way, that truly the holidays is for me always the time of the year where where my my brain kind of just struggles with bigger question. I don't know. You can feel lonely or sad or uncertain about your your where you're at in your life, wondering why you're alone. It all just seems to be more loud at that time of the year. So don't be afraid to start your therapy journey right now with BetterHelp this December. Start a new tradition by taking care of you. Our listeners get 10% [e-mail] sun that's B E T T E R h e l p.com.

[Sass]

Alrighty. Let's talk about DraftKings. It's beginning to look a lot like holidays on the house at DraftKings Casino. Celebrate the season with bright lights and big wins on all of your favorite casino games. Spin more than 1,000 slots, everything from the classics to exclusive new releases. New players get 500 spins over 10 days on your choice of Cash Eruption slots. That's a pretty solid deal. I like that. Download the DraftKings app and sign up with Code Boydad. Then choose from 10 different cash eruption slots and let it spin in partnership with DraftKings Casino. The crown is yours. I like DraftKings. I personally I use it for football. I like to bet on football.

[Francis]

I had a great run on DraftKings this week. I really bet the Yes I did. I bet the bills who were down 21 0, spread was minus two and a half and they came back from the depths to cover. It was fantastic.

[Harry]

Dallas Goddard anytime. Touchdown. Hit A.J. brown Tutty hit.

[Sass]

Oh, that's. That's good for you boys. Unfortunately, I did not have that luck this weekend, but you always can at DraftKings. The crown is yours.

[Harry]

Gambling problem call 1-800-GAMBLER in Connecticut. Help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org Please play responsibly. 21 and over physically present in Connecticut, Michigan, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, West Virginia only. Void in Ontario eligibility restrictions apply. Non withdrawable casino spins issued as 50 spins per day for 10 days. Valid for featured games only and expire each day after 24 hours. See [e-mail] promos ends January 25, 2026 at 11:50 time. Can we take a second and talk about aura frames? Aura frames. The best frames in the business. They're a hidden gem because they will become the favorite gift long after the wrapping paper is gone. I'll tell you this about aura frames. There might be other gifts that sparkle. There might be other gifts that shimmer and shine. Or Frames is built to last. Or Frames will be around next Christmas, the Christmas after that, five years from now, 10 years from now, that same frame will be there and it will be highlighting the best parts of this Christmas and the Christmas two years from now, and the Christmas four years from now. All that's going to be resurfaced via the aura frame. It's going to be personalized. It's going to. You can even preload the photo. So if you have somebody who is inept when it comes to technology, you put the photos on there automatically upload them, gift box included. You can't wait to, for a limited time, save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com to get $35 off. Or frames Best selling Carver matte frames named number one by wirecutter by using promo code BOYDAD at checkout. That's a U R A frames.com promo code boydad. This deal is exclusive to listeners and frames sell out fast. So order yours now to get one in time for the holidays. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. Dallas, the airport has a gaming room.

[Sass]

Dude, this was the craziest thing I've ever experienced. So I'm, I and I told Tyler and Owen this already. It's gonna sound like a complete lie. I walked into this place to get a Red Bull and the dude goes, he goes, this is your first time like coming in. And I turned to the left and there's just like 90 gaming PCs set up. Like I had no idea that's what it was. I just walked in and all of a sudden I'm in fucking heaven. I was like blown away.

[Harry]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sass]

And I, and I got like an hour long pass, played some counter strike.

[Francis]

How early did you get to the airport?

[Sass]

Well, I got to the airport at 6:50, which was, I'll be honest, it was weird playing counter strike at 6:50am like starting the day that way. So I'm playing counter strike and then we got delayed.

[Francis]

Simply cannot be the first time that you've started a day playing video games at that early.

[Sass]

Okay, so I've ended the day playing counter strike at 6:50.

[Francis]

That's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah.

[Sass]

But yeah, I mean I go in, you get a day pass. They've got like, I think they had like 20 PCs and then they had like a shit ton of Xboxes and PlayStation set up. And when I went in, I was the only one there. Actually, no, there was another. There was a dude next to me playing Marvel Rivals and he was pretty sick. I mean, I played for an hour. I was getting ready to leave. The dude comes up to me and he's like, just a heads up your. Your hour's almost up. If you're about to hop in a comp game, feel free to play it out. And I was like, I gotta go catch my flight. And we got delayed four hours. So I came back. Luckily I got my own controller on me. Plug that in. And then I just played COD for like an hour.

[Harry]

That's amazing.

[Sass]

It was sick. And I. And when I went back the second time, it was a. There was, it was a vibe, you know, I wasn't the only one there.

[Francis]

No, there's people who bought like really cheap plane tickets and aren't even taking.

[Sass]

Yeah, maybe. Honestly, they're just coming because that setup was better than the setup I have in my house.

[Unknown]

House.

[Harry]

Why did they choose to do. Have that be their like, discretionary space that they have? You know how like the San Francisco airport has a yoga studio in it or.

[Sass]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Harry]

Airport has like a breast milk nursing room or whatever.

[Sass]

Yeah, yeah.

[Francis]

There are actually a lot of airports that have that.

[Harry]

Nursing rooms.

[Francis]

Yeah, the.

[Harry]

The office has one.

[Francis]

I know. Yeah.

[Sass]

The pump room.

[Francis]

It's really nice place.

[Sass]

Yeah, that's where I get a lot of work done in there.

[Francis]

It's really quiet.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Really private.

[Harry]

You should set up your console in there.

[Sass]

I know. Turn it into a streaming room.

[Harry]

Oh, did you have this booked? Barging in on a mom with a blanket over her chest.

[Sass]

Dude, when I went in the first time, the dude running. The dude running the show, he had like a scarf all the way around his face, like over covering his nose. And like when I. When I like, got my. When I paid for my hour long pass, he turns the corner, he's got this like gallon jug of hand sanitizer. And he's like, I just want to give you some hand sanitizer. I do want to let you know I did throw up this morning. He's like, I'm thinking it was food related, but I just want to be careful. I don't want anyone getting sick in here. So I cleaned everything. Here's some hand sanitizer. And I was like, I was like, oh, yeah. I was like, all good, dude. No worries. And like I go and I Sit down. And then someone else comes in and I hear him say the exact same thing. He's like, just a heads up, I threw up this morning. I think I had a bad hot dog last night.

[Harry]

Oh my God.

[Francis]

Don't come in to the airport. Yeah, yeah. Don't come into the airport to. But then don't tell anyone.

[Sass]

Don't tell anybody.

[Francis]

Tell anyone.

[Sass]

And he was telling everyone as they were walked in.

[Francis]

How is this guy flying with a gallon jug of hand Tinder?

[Sass]

This is the guy that worked at the, at the gaming.

[Francis]

Oh, so he's there for his job.

[Harry]

So if he doesn't come in, Sass.

[Sass]

Can'T, I can't game.

[Harry]

He can't hit the sticks.

[Sass]

But then I will say I. When I. When I went back to the gate and then we got delayed and I came back to the gaming lounge, he was gone. And there was.

[Harry]

There was two new people and there was just footprints coated in throw towards the exit.

[Sass]

I will say when he said it, I got a little uneasy.

[Francis]

Yeah, of course.

[Harry]

It's like, oh, well, why would you disclose that?

[Sass]

I don't want to throw up.

[Harry]

Why would you ever fucking say that out loud?

[Sass]

Yeah, but I mean, he, the, the. He didn't even have a. It wasn't like he had a Covid mask on. It was like he had a fucking blanket wrapped around his face.

[Harry]

That's like so many.

[Sass]

Nothing was getting through that.

[Harry]

I had sexual relations with a woman who had AIDS in 1989.

[Sass]

Just a heads up, I want to let you know I do have herpes. It's contagious.

[Harry]

We're just. This is our first date. We're not gonna be cool.

[Sass]

Yeah, I'm gonna go play counter strike for 30 minutes.

[Harry]

Were you deep throating the controllers over there?

[Sass]

No, but they did they hook you up with a headset when you walk in and then it's. They have every game downloaded, every game, you name it. They had retro games set up. You could have played fucking Nintendo, could have played Smash, the Melee, whatever, the one we played.

[Harry]

I wonder how busy it gets in there.

[Sass]

When I went back after the delay packed, it was a great vibe. Everyone's just gaming of all ages, kids, dads, women. It was a blast.

[Harry]

Women.

[Sass]

I know, right? You don't typically see that. You wouldn't expect to see girls at the gaming lounge.

[Harry]

No, they were there. Trans men.

[Sass]

Trans men.

[Francis]

It's like seeing women at this skate park. Cool, but new. Certainly new.

[Sass]

But yeah, that was pretty cool, you know, and then took on, went. Did the flight Watched the Patriots, watched Bush. Both of them lost. That was tough. That wasn't fun.

[Francis]

Have we recorded since you. We've recorded since you guys won.

[Sass]

Since we won the Challengers Cup. Yeah.

[Francis]

Do you want to talk about TJ or no TJ?

[Sass]

Our player?

[Francis]

No TJ.

[Harry]

DJ Oshi, the hockey player.

[Francis]

O'. Donnell.

[Sass]

Yeah. TJ Oshi, phenomenal player.

[Harry]

Stud.

[Sass]

Great player on the Blues.

[Harry]

St. Louis American.

[Sass]

Yeah. He was on the COVID of NHL. I think he was 14.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

After he beat Russia. Single handedly.

[Harry]

Yeah, Single handedly beat. Right.

[Sass]

That was awesome.

[Francis]

That was pretty sick. Yeah. What? What? Do you want to talk about T.J. or no? Oh no.

[Sass]

I don't think I can say anything about any of that. Okay.

[Unknown]

Okay.

[Francis]

We won't talk about Teege.

[Sass]

All good.

[Francis]

What else?

[Harry]

Which makes it more juicy. Which makes it significantly more juicy. My. My children were the Jesus in the Christmas pageant.

[Sass]

This I know. I saw.

[Harry]

That's what I was pretty psyched about. But then I sent you a message about it and you didn't say anything because they were playing at a bigger room than you.

[Sass]

Is that why they had a big crowd?

[Francis]

That was sick.

[Sass]

They outsold me. I mean, how much were their tickets though? Though?

[Harry]

There it was, I think like 40 pre sale or something like that.

[Sass]

No way.

[Harry]

40 pre sale and then 60.

[Sass]

Did you use game time?

[Harry]

Of course, but the secondary market was spiking.

[Sass]

I watched that, that video though of the. Of the handoff. It was pretty funny.

[Harry]

It was sick. We had. I. I had to take them to the rehearsal for it the day before. Yeah. And it was just me and I was like locked out of the church, like losing my. I couldn't get into the church and like it's down a flight of steps.

[Sass]

What do you even do in that situation? You're just knocking on the door.

[Harry]

Yeah, there's an elevator. The elevator was broken, so I had to like find where the priest lived and like hit their ring camera and be like, let me into the fucking church.

[Sass]

That's crazy.

[Harry]

Should be working. And it wasn't working at all. But I fucking single dad duded it. And then for the actual performance, one of them got to be the Jesus and then they swapped it and brought it back around. And the other one got to be Jesus.

[Sass]

That's pretty sick.

[Unknown]

Sick.

[Harry]

It was.

[Sass]

They both got to be Jesus. Was that intentional? Like, do they seek people out with twins or was that.

[Harry]

No, this is the first year they ever had twins. This lady's been doing it since before 9, 11.

[Sass]

Did you guys seek that Are you a member of this?

[Francis]

What they say is that per SAG rules, you can only have a baby on set live for three hours or something like that.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And so they.

[Harry]

It was a Mary Kate and Ashley situation.

[Francis]

Yeah. West timed out.

[Unknown]

Out.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And then they brought in tagged and Finn.

[Harry]

Yeah. So Finn came through, but he.

[Sass]

Any crying?

[Harry]

No, no. One of them did explosively themselves, seconds beforehand, really. But we had the NASCAR pit crew change them. It was sick. The poor little girl that was playing Mary was the same. Wes is bigger than. It was like, a little bigger than Finn. She was like, the same size as Wes, and she was just shaking, dude.

[Francis]

I saw that.

[Sass]

When I saw the handoff, I was like, that baby, like, she looks like she's struggling.

[Harry]

Yeah, the girl's like a sixth grader. Even in the rehearsal, I was like, you need me to take him for a second? She was like, yeah. She was terrified. It's a sick, sick dad moment, though. I was fired the up.

[Sass]

It's every dad's dream to see their child be Jesus.

[Harry]

Every dude. It's incredible. It's their first crack at being able to, like, they're on track for, like, Academy Awards right now. That's the first milestone.

[Sass]

Well, you got to get them to, like, the mall. Bring them to, like, that new. The New Jersey mall. Get them start getting some scouting going, you know.

[Harry]

Oh, yeah. Just so you them be seen.

[Sass]

Yeah. It's all about just getting their faces out there.

[Francis]

You have a pretty short window of them being baby Jesus, but you could do the boyhood thing where you film them through their life in a movie based on Jesus.

[Harry]

And for the first. Because between 12 and 33, Jesus kind of disappeared.

[Francis]

Yeah, people don't really talk about that, period. I think he was thinking basketball for a while.

[Sass]

Well, he got in, like, a motorcycle accident up in Woodstock.

[Francis]

That's what he went.

[Sass]

And he. Yeah, he wrote everything by hand. New Testament.

[Francis]

People debate whether it even happened.

[Sass]

But just for Mumford and Sons to come discover it years later, for Elvis.

[Harry]

Costello to rewrite all the New Testament books. But, yeah, I think, like, getting some. Some stuff on paper, learn. Teaching them Aramaic. There's like, you know, there's like a Fox News.

[Sass]

Teaching them what?

[Harry]

Aramaic. That's the language of Jesus, brother.

[Sass]

Really?

[Harry]

What did you think?

[Sass]

You guys are throwing out some deep knowledge today. I feel like I.

[Harry]

What do you think? Did you ever watch the Passion of the Christ?

[Sass]

No. And I know it's really good, but I haven't seen it.

[Harry]

It is not that good.

[Sass]

No, it isn't.

[Harry]

No.

[Sass]

I thought. I feel like we had this conversation on the podcast.

[Harry]

I know. And since then I watched it. No, I watched it and it was boring.

[Francis]

Is it really not good? I never saw it. It made such a stir.

[Harry]

Yeah, well, it's like it came right after or right before he, Mel Gibson did Apocalypto. And everybody's like, it's probably like a pot. And it was nothing like good.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Apocalypto's top 10.

[Francis]

I never saw that.

[Harry]

That's amazing thing.

[Francis]

I've only seen that one scene from Apocalypto where the. They have the Indians run away. The whole movie's running and they're like, they're running for their lives. It's like go. And then they throw something at them or like chase them down somehow.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Sass]

What do they shoot lacrosse ball at them?

[Harry]

They basically are in like an obstacle course. It's basically like an episode of Chris Clemmer's Rat Race. And then they're just like throwing. Yeah, they're shooting arrows at them. And then there's a guy at the end who's a finisher who just has a club to kill them.

[Francis]

Cool.

[Harry]

But then one dude breaks contain. He hits him with a little Jameer Gibbs.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Sass]

Yeah. Lets the jacket on and gets away.

[Harry]

And so then the, the. All the, the Native Americans. Native. Central Americans, Mayans, they chase him through the.

[Francis]

The jungle and catch him.

[Harry]

Well, you'll have to watch that.

[Francis]

I'm glad you. Wow. I'm in.

[Harry]

It's amazing.

[Francis]

Apocalyptic.

[Harry]

It's actually one of the best movies of all time. But people try, they connect that you've never seen it either.

[Sass]

Now what?

[Harry]

It's. It's one of the best action movies ever. Holy. Especially if you're a little bit fried.

[Francis]

Should we watch it together, Harry? That's perfect. Should we watch it together? You want to watch it together? We'll smoke your bass first and then we will watch Apocalypse.

[Sass]

Smoke my bass.

[Francis]

Smoke your bass.

[Sass]

Smoked tuna. Tuna, yeah.

[Harry]

Smoked bass. Smoked. We'll smoke your salmon.

[Sass]

Smoked salmon, I guess. Smoked tuna.

[Harry]

I smoked smoked bass and watched an Apocalypto. Yeah, we should do a watch along of apocalyptic. Yeah, it's a incredible film.

[Sass]

Yeah, we'll watch apocalyptic. Like it's like the gambling cave. You won't be able to see or hear the movie. It'll see us watch it.

[Harry]

But if we set up the right timestamp for it.

[Sass]

Yeah. Yeah. All right, everybody start now.

[Francis]

Three, two, one. No, sorry. Two, one on go.

[Harry]

Before I was a Delta one. Man. That would be a joy of. Of flying on the airplane. When you're sitting next to somebody and you start the movie at the same time.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Harry]

Oh, yeah, of course. Watch it.

[Sass]

Of course.

[Harry]

But you can't pause it. No one can get up to pee. No one can do anything.

[Sass]

I don't even turn my. Now that I got the. Now that I've got my raw Gallup. By which I will say shout out. I, I, I got a tip. Delta here. I got to.

[Harry]

The Internet's great.

[Sass]

I know it goes against what I said, the Internet on the flight yesterday. Phenomenal.

[Harry]

You were doing, like, five different things.

[Sass]

I was blown away. I had multi. I had multiple screens up, streaming live at the same time.

[Francis]

Wow.

[Sass]

On the plane.

[Harry]

And you were streaming football.

[Sass]

And in seven, 20.

[Harry]

And yeah, no lag.

[Sass]

No lag. It was shot. I was like, I've never experienced this. It was like, oh, I needed it. I needed that win.

[Harry]

So you think that United's gonna have that, bro?

[Sass]

Of course.

[Harry]

United, they're gonna. It's gonna be passed down like oral tradition.

[Sass]

I think they have Ethernet on United.

[Harry]

No, they're gonna do whisper down the lane.

[Francis]

If they turn on the 720p Wi Fi on a United flight, the pilots cannot communicate with the ground.

[Sass]

Yeah, you can only go 20p wifi.

[Francis]

It means that they have to. It means they have. It's choosing one or the other.

[Sass]

720P is the resolution of the screen.

[Francis]

Okay, cool.

[Sass]

It's like how clear it is. It's like 4K.

[Francis]

Oh, cool.

[Harry]

You know what?

[Sass]

4K. It's like the same thing. It's like 1080p.

[Francis]

This is great. Great.

[Sass]

I've never heard someone say 720p Wi Fi.

[Francis]

I mean, you just said it yourself.

[Sass]

Yesterday, we recorded one of our owner's meetings for Bush, and Jerry was talking about how he wants a PC because he said that he can't stream off of his Mac.

[Harry]

It's not good enough.

[Sass]

And I was like, giving. I. I think I explained for, like, 15 minutes, like, all the parts and everything. And then he was like. He's like, no sets. I'm just looking for something I can just plug into the wall. It's like, oh. He was like, you're talking about building. He was like, I'm not building anything. He's like, I just needed to plug in and play. And I was like, I guess I feel that that's.

[Harry]

That's what I would want to.

[Sass]

Now you gotta build. Nah, the building is the best part. You think it's the games. It's the build.

[Harry]

That's how I could know I'm just forever unked out.

[Sass]

No, you would love it.

[Harry]

No, I'm not building. Not like a nephew like you.

[Sass]

I could.

[Francis]

I'll build.

[Sass]

I want to build a PC for somebody else, so someone just needs to give me.

[Harry]

Why you just build one for Jerry? He's in your crew.

[Sass]

Because the problem is then I would have to get it to Jerry. Like, it would be easier if it was someone in New York where I could just hand deliver it.

[Harry]

So would you build one for me?

[Sass]

I would build one for you. You would have to pay for all the parts, though.

[Harry]

I would. I would get it as a gift for Francis.

[Francis]

I'll charge you for it on Venmo.

[Harry]

Circle of life.

[Francis]

Yeah, dude. So I went to. First of all, I had four steak meals last week.

[Unknown]

Damn.

[Sass]

Were you puking?

[Francis]

I didn't feel great.

[Sass]

Yeah, I didn't feel great.

[Harry]

Now tell me this. Did it make you harder overnight?

[Unknown]

Right.

[Harry]

Because if I have four stakes, I. I can't put down my boner.

[Francis]

I don't. Yeah, I was pretty hard.

[Harry]

Respect.

[Francis]

I had some hard ones.

[Sass]

That's solid.

[Francis]

Yeah, they were pretty hard.

[Sass]

Love to hear my boys are still getting hard.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Still.

[Francis]

Yeah. But the last one I went to was I was filling in for someone that dropped out on a Saturday. It was actually my buddy Dustin and his. All of his buddies from Shout Out. Dustin College. You guys will meet Dustin in our video. Is that okay?

[Harry]

Yeah, of course.

[Francis]

That video putting out next week of our steak meal. So anyway, he told me to come, and I came, and they. He had sent me, like, their original calendar invite, but then they had moved the meal half an hour later without telling me.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

So I got there, like, 10 minutes late for that original one, and I walked in and I was like, hi, I'm here to see the group under Dustin's name. And they thought I said Justin. And they were like. And they were like, who is it? And I'm. I'm like, it's probably a huge group of dudes. They were like, oh, yeah. Right this way. They led me into this super crowded restaurant. Strip house.

[Sass]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Francis]

It's really dark.

[Sass]

I love that place.

[Francis]

Really crowded, but fun. Loud. Super loud. When you can barely move between the tables.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And they bring me to a table of 12 dudes.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And I'm looking around the group being like, where's the one Asian guy that I'm friends with? And I don't see him. And as I'm looking, every single one of these guys looks up at me and it's like, Francis. Yeah, Francis, join us, Join us.

[Harry]

And you had to convince the woman that you didn't know that all these guys who knew you, the matre d.

[Francis]

Woman was like, okay, perfect.

[Sass]

Yeah, yeah, you're welcome.

[Francis]

This is your group. And I was like, no, this is not my group. I don't think.

[Harry]

No, they all know you. What? It's your group. What do you mean?

[Francis]

And they were like telling me to join them and sit down. And I didn't know where my group was, dude.

[Sass]

I would be having like hot flashes that was happening.

[Francis]

Mayhem, dude.

[Harry]

Like a memento.

[Francis]

A very, like a weird situation to navigate. They're like pouring me a drink. Someone else's drink. Like, here we go. And I'm like, ah. And I just had to go outside. Yeah, I just had to go back outside and start over. At which point I texted my buddy and was like, oh, we moved it. And then they came like 10 minutes later.

[Harry]

That's so funny. That's ridiculous. Of course. Like, what are you going to go up to a group of $12? Dude, 12 steak dudes that don't know you. Any group of steak eaters are like in the United States, if there's a group of 12, eight of them at least are going to know you.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

I would say of steaky steak aged.

[Francis]

Men, I would say steak eaters are our number one demographic.

[Harry]

Steak eaters. Golf. Golf players.

[Sass]

Man, I gotta that, that place is good. Yeah, they got a good steak.

[Francis]

They got a good steak.

[Harry]

When were you there? What were you there for?

[Sass]

I've been there a few times.

[Harry]

Really?

[Francis]

Oh, yeah.

[Sass]

We did three porterhouses, some for professional, some for personal.

[Francis]

Personal.

[Harry]

Business and pleasure.

[Francis]

We went, we went three porter homes for three for eight guys and it was too much.

[Sass]

Yeah, that's all. I mean, that's a lot of food. Yeah.

[Harry]

Well, what was your app situation?

[Francis]

Oh, man. What wasn't it?

[Sass]

You get the sprouts?

[Francis]

We. I didn't. Someone ran point on the whole order and did a good job. See, I knew you would be a guy who would hate that.

[Sass]

I don't like when someone's running point.

[Unknown]

Point.

[Harry]

That's how it works though.

[Francis]

Eight people. What, what are you gonna do? You can't keep track of all the apps that someone needs to allocate for the whole table at that point.

[Sass]

I get it. For apps that, that makes total sense. For, for entrees. I like to be in control.

[Francis]

Yeah, but, but you're getting a steak, right?

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And the porterhouse answers every question. You've got filet and strip.

[Sass]

Yeah, that's true.

[Francis]

That's just huge portions of it. It's perfect.

[Sass]

Yeah, I'm a strip guy. I'm not a filet guy.

[Francis]

So you take the. Presumably the right side of the bone.

[Sass]

Yeah, but then what if someone else wants the right side of the bone?

[Francis]

There's plenty to go through, I guess.

[Sass]

You guys didn't even finish it all. Was there more strip or was there more filet?

[Francis]

There's no more for you to find wrong with this.

[Sass]

Dude, I thought that place was a strip club. For the first four years I lived in New York.

[Francis]

Strip house.

[Sass]

Yeah. I. Every time I would walk by it, I would be like, that's crazy. That people are. I would see, like businessmen going in and I'd be like, that's crazy.

[Harry]

Shameless.

[Sass]

Yeah. Close to the stand. I used to have to walk by. Walk. When I would walk from my apartment, I would have to walk by it to get to the stand.

[Francis]

Now this, the. The strip clubs in New York are all located in. To your point, more sort of camp, whatever. Discreet places.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Right. So Larry Flynn's hustler club is on the west side highway up in like the 50s.

[Sass]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Francis]

There's one in Tribeca, I think it's called Flash Dancers. It's on a pretty discreet.

[Harry]

You have a pretty encyclopedic knowledge of where I've been. Exactly where all these are.

[Francis]

I've been to Flash Dancers. I've never been to the one on the west side Highway. But you drive by it.

[Sass]

I've driven by that one big billboard.

[Francis]

Every time you're leaving the city.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

What's the place? Something Gardens. That's like around here.

[Francis]

West Gardens.

[Harry]

Is it a hand job place or something?

[Francis]

It is a happy ending sort of. Yeah. Massage parlor. But it's like.

[Sass]

Like your knowledge runs deep.

[Harry]

He's a true ball knower.

[Francis]

I'm a. I'm a pervert. What do you want me to say?

[Harry]

Look at the jacket.

[Francis]

You guys aren't perverts. Hello.

[Harry]

Look at the collar up. Popped up on the jacket. Just peering over the top of the jacket.

[Francis]

By the way, I bought this drunk on an app called Grailed.

[Sass]

Oh, yeah.

[Francis]

And it was up. I found it pretty cheap. Yeah. Pretty stoked about it. And I just put out a bid and like, got it. Got accepted immediately, which made me realize I had bid way too high. And I was like, oh, this has been. This guy's been waiting for me. Yeah. But here's what. Something bothered me. It said the condition new with tags. It came. There were no tags.

[Sass]

But it looks brand.

[Francis]

It does look brand new. But there's something about having tags on it, especially when you're expecting tags. Yeah, I wanted some tags.

[Sass]

You're also wondering, is it real?

[Francis]

Well, they authenticate. They authenticate also. By the way, if it isn't, then it's a good. Just don't tell me.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Let me live in ignorance of the fraud fraudulent.

[Sass]

I have to get a closer look at the stitching.

[Francis]

Pretty nice.

[Sass]

When you, when you smack it, are you hearing more of a hollow sound?

[Harry]

Is it a watermelon or when you.

[Francis]

Smell it, are you getting. Are you getting apple orchard or are you getting bazooka bubblegum?

[Harry]

You guys think that you could see if you looked at a bag, do you think you could tell which bag was made by Louis Vuitton and which one was bought off of the sidewalk on canal?

[Francis]

Only. Only if it was a horrible fake and the logos were upside down.

[Sass]

Yeah. Yeah. But if it's like a solid fake. No shot.

[Francis]

No shot, dude.

[Sass]

The length of those people go to be able to tell like what's real. It like I made like I said the stitching like that is what they do. They put it under a microscope.

[Harry]

Why would a woman who's a consumer of like bags and stuff, why would she learn the difference if not to just like embarrass her friends? You know what I mean? Like what merit does that whole. I get why the resale shoe guys learn because they want to know what's a fake and what's not. But like why would any woman learn that that skill set do.

[Francis]

Do a lot I know there learn it.

[Harry]

I don't know. I think that people are like self conscious about a fake or if someone's like in your bags fake or some like that like talking on somebody like how would you know that? Or what would you. What would you learn to be able to tell that.

[Francis]

That I've heard that. That the fake market has become cool and that especially like your people. Gen Z.

[Harry]

Jesus Christ.

[Francis]

No, I wouldn't. I would not have.

[Harry]

You know. God damn, Gen Z, you said it. You said it before. Yeah.

[Francis]

Thank God Gen Z has totally embraced buying knockoffs.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Because it's like you have to decide between like a mew Mew bag or a house.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Living with your parents for another three years.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

I bought a bunch of fake when I was in Morocco and I love it. I rock it all the time I have fake Hermes sandals that were like 80 bucks. They look perfect.

[Sass]

Yeah, I mean, if you can get. If you can get the good fakes. I mean, I don't see why you wouldn't.

[Francis]

Maybe they were 60 bucks. I don't even remember. They weren't.

[Harry]

If it's a good fake. And how can anybody tell what anything is?

[Sass]

You know, I used to flip on, grailed, believe it or not.

[Francis]

Did you really?

[Sass]

Oh, yeah. Back when I was hungry, angry.

[Francis]

What were you. What were you flipping on there? Clothes. What?

[Sass]

I did it, like, three times. I think I've talked about this before. I bought, like. Yeah, I bought like, three. There was a streetwear brand called FTP and I brought. I bought sunglasses. Remember when those, like, Kurt Cobain sunglasses were going, like, viral? Like, everyone was wearing them. It was, like, big in street wear. White ones.

[Francis]

No, man.

[Sass]

You know what I'm talking about.

[Harry]

I do.

[Francis]

You've given me enough that I would know and I don't.

[Sass]

So move on, because I know them. I know you know, but it's all right.

[Francis]

I don't know.

[Sass]

You would know him if you saw.

[Francis]

There are holes in my knowledge.

[Sass]

You would know if you saw.

[Francis]

That might have been a period of my life when I was, you know, reading.

[Sass]

Yeah, could have been. But I got those FTP, flipped them for, like. For, like, made like, 200 bones.

[Francis]

Nice.

[Sass]

And then I got a jacket that I made a lot off of.

[Francis]

How much?

[Sass]

But I had to spend a good amount, too. Well, I forget how much I made, but I know I made a lot. And then I bought a sweatshirt that never sold.

[Francis]

And you still have it?

[Sass]

It's somewhere. But it doesn't. Never even fit me. Me.

[Francis]

You never worn it?

[Sass]

I'm not, like, a big fan of the brand.

[Francis]

What's FTP anyway?

[Sass]

The population.

[Francis]

Okay. Or is it loud and sort of.

[Sass]

Yeah, like, the. Like, some of their stuff is cool, but, like, the one that. The sweatshirt that didn't sell. I mean, there was a reason it didn't sell.

[Francis]

What? Why?

[Sass]

It was an ugly sweatshirt.

[Francis]

Why did you. How did you get all these things?

[Sass]

I just knew when the drop was coming. I. And I bought them online. Yeah. Before they sold them out.

[Francis]

Wow. I used to sell sneakers. In fact, I still have a ton of sneakers. I need to sell all of them. Are they, like, good? Yes.

[Sass]

And they're older now, too.

[Francis]

They're.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

I have some super elite Jordans.

[Sass]

Tell me you got them in Saran Wrap.

[Francis]

No, I've worn. I've worn them all, but, like, A lot of them are fine. They're all whatever size 12.

[Sass]

They're not vacuum sealed.

[Francis]

If anyone is interested in buying some really, really sick Jordans, a very steep discount.

[Harry]

You're going to take those out of the box and they're going to crumble like the Wiley Coyote after a blast.

[Francis]

You're going to touch them. It's going to be incredibly. I think that. And maybe this is a complete farce, but because I wore them, they're a little more sturdy.

[Sass]

Mmm.

[Harry]

Because you put a little crease in them.

[Francis]

Well, they've.

[Sass]

They're crease.

[Francis]

They've been. Yeah, they're. Yeah, they're creased to shit.

[Harry]

You decrease their value.

[Francis]

No, well, I'm sure. I'm sure, sure. But, you know, I have like the.

[Sass]

It's got to be tough trying to flip shoes.

[Francis]

White original Chicago Jordan from the 10 collection. Those are so crazy.

[Sass]

It's got to be tough trying to flip shoes when you have a size like 14 shoe. You're just hoping someone in the NBA buys them.

[Francis]

These are 12s. Everything I have is a 12. Although I have one 13, which is the. The presto from the 10. Those are sick.

[Harry]

I'm hoping to sell these Jordans back to Michael Jordan.

[Francis]

Are the Sean Witherspoon Air Maxes. Seriously, I'm just saying this. If anyone out there, if anyone's looking.

[Sass]

To buy a pair of size 9 Sambas, let's get rid of them fakes, too.

[Francis]

You still had those since Cleveland, and you bought them and you're like, this isn't the color I wanted. I hate these.

[Sass]

Yeah, but they're fine with pants, I think.

[Francis]

No, they're great. And what I want to do is I want to buy you the white ones that you always wanted.

[Sass]

Oh, no, I don't want them. These. These make my feet look like I have little children feet.

[Harry]

Black shoes always do that to me, too.

[Sass]

Like, I have those.

[Harry]

I look like.

[Sass]

It looks like I have ballet shoes on.

[Harry]

I look like I hooves when I wear black feet shoes.

[Sass]

Like, I was like. I was like fucking cracking them open this morning getting them ready.

[Francis]

What's a pair of shoes that would make your feet look bigger?

[Sass]

My Stan Smiths.

[Francis]

Okay, so you want Stan Smith. I mean, I have them, but you need a new pair, right?

[Sass]

No, I just bought them.

[Francis]

Oh, you did?

[Sass]

Like, yeah, like less than a year ago.

[Harry]

No, you could probably use a new pair. Plus, they'll just appreciate in value I've always wanted.

[Francis]

I almost bought you a pair of white sambas in Morocco that were Fake.

[Sass]

Oh, no, no.

[Francis]

Did I tell you that?

[Sass]

No, you didn't.

[Francis]

I went into the store.

[Sass]

Oh, no, you did, I think, actually.

[Francis]

And the guy, I was. The guy was like, what size? And I was like, he wears a nine. He's like, we don't have anything that small.

[Sass]

Yeah, I remember that. Yeah. It's unfortunate, but we just have to.

[Harry]

Go back to Morocco then for that. For that purpose. Yeah. Francis has been kicking me Boku content ideas.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Sass]

Like what?

[Harry]

We're gonna do them to you at some point.

[Francis]

I'm in the. I'm in the cat kitchen.

[Sass]

Yeah, you're cooking, chef.

[Francis]

Cooking with the knife, chef. Curry with the pot, boy. 360 with the wrist, boy. Who the. You think this is, boy?

[Sass]

What are the ideas?

[Harry]

Do you want to say them or you shouldn't even say?

[Francis]

Yeah, we can say them. Well, you and I are going to go golfing with Trent and Frankie. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's happening.

[Sass]

Yeah, I'm definitely down in January.

[Francis]

Yes, in January.

[Sass]

That might be tight for me.

[Francis]

No, it's not gonna.

[Sass]

February could be good.

[Harry]

On whose channel, though?

[Francis]

Well, you can collaborate now. You can do. We could do across.

[Harry]

Yeah, but whose channel is it gonna be on?

[Francis]

It's probably gonna be on Foreplay, but, you know, it's their producers and like their infrastructure.

[Sass]

Yeah, but maybe we could do.

[Francis]

Maybe we could do a couple videos. One on theirs, one on ours.

[Sass]

Yeah, I think.

[Francis]

I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

[Sass]

Like, they get the warm ups at the range and stuff and then we get the actual match.

[Francis]

Yeah, there you go. No, we'll do. We'll do a couple different videos. I also said we go to Florida, we do golf and fishing.

[Sass]

Oh, yeah, that.

[Francis]

We'll get out on a boat charter and do some hunt. The bonita.

[Sass]

Yeah, that would be sick. We could go bone fishing in Florida.

[Francis]

No, let's do bonita.

[Sass]

Or we could go bonita.

[Francis]

Yeah, let's go bonita.

[Sass]

Redfish too. Actually, I don't know if there are redfish in Florida.

[Francis]

Red snapper.

[Sass]

Red snapper and grouper.

[Francis]

Grouper's fun to catch.

[Sass]

You've caught grouper?

[Francis]

Oh, yeah.

[Sass]

Jesus.

[Francis]

Go out with a harpoon.

[Sass]

Yeah, yeah. I don't even know if I would want to catch one of those.

[Francis]

Oh, it's delicious though.

[Sass]

You ate one?

[Francis]

Yeah, man.

[Sass]

Really?

[Harry]

You're talking about the Goliath grouper that like, YP caught in that one video?

[Sass]

They get huge.

[Francis]

Yeah, grouper's good.

[Sass]

How long did it take you to reel in three days.

[Francis]

No, man, they don't. They're, like, slow and old.

[Sass]

They're so big.

[Francis]

Yeah. But they don't fight the way a tuna does or marlin or something.

[Sass]

Definitely not, but they are. Those are the ones that I think if you really. When you release them, I think you gotta, like, pop a hole in the side of them for the air. Yeah, yeah.

[Harry]

I think that's cows.

[Francis]

That is cows. That's a cow's lying down on its side. That's a groaning.

[Harry]

Yeah. If you catch a.

[Sass]

That's one of my first. That was one of my most memorable, being wrong about some things on the paw on the pod. When I said that the cows have the holes in the side of them.

[Unknown]

Them.

[Sass]

I don't even know if you were on the show when we did this.

[Harry]

This was. This was week one.

[Sass]

Yeah. I thought that. Well, have you ever seen when the cows have the holes in the side of them?

[Francis]

No, but can I be honest with you really quick?

[Sass]

There isn't any.

[Francis]

Yeah. I think you're thinking of, like, a.

[Sass]

Spine, because it doesn't exist. Yeah.

[Francis]

I have never fished for grouper, and I just made a decision to. To live the way you do for a second, which. To speak on something with complete authority.

[Sass]

You were. Honestly, I think you weren't that awful.

[Unknown]

Off.

[Francis]

Well, I don't know.

[Sass]

I think you were pretty spot on about the. They don't. I mean, they definitely don't fight like a tuna would fight.

[Francis]

No. They have them down there, though. Grouper in Florida, where. Where we would be going.

[Sass]

Yeah, Yeah. I would assume.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then. Do you want to share our idea?

[Harry]

Well, you had, like, four ideas, man.

[Francis]

I'm in the. I'm Chef Curry with the shot boy, 360 with the rest. Boy, that's it. That's me.

[Harry]

That really is.

[Francis]

What was the.

[Sass]

What was your other idea? My. I got an idea. We go to the Dallas airport and we. We do a.

[Francis]

We host hand sanitizer.

[Sass]

Yeah. We host a tournament from the. From the gaming lounge.

[Francis]

That's pretty fun.

[Harry]

What terminal is it in? I think c. Perfect.

[Sass]

I don't remember what.

[Harry]

What airline do it to buy tickets on.

[Sass]

I think, actually, I think you could do a lot of them, dude.

[Francis]

You know what I've learned is that, you know, a city is a big city when they have two real airports.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Dallas has two real airports.

[Sass]

What do they have? DFW and what?

[Francis]

And then the one that Bush. Or is that Houston?

[Sass]

I don't know.

[Francis]

Love, love, love. Airport is what it's called.

[Sass]

Called not familiar.

[Francis]

That's. Hold on, I'll look where it is. People love Love. Airport.

[Sass]

Dallas Addison had an airport, and I looked and it was all private.

[Harry]

Love was the name.

[Francis]

Love Field.

[Harry]

Love Field. That was the name. Love was the name of Diddy's album. It's a love album. That's what you're thinking of, baby. I finally finished that doc. What, you think a B probably did it?

[Francis]

Ye.

[Harry]

Probably did at least one of the.

[Francis]

One of the things I've been watching a lot of it. I mean, first of all, great recommendation.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

It's spectacular.

[Sass]

It's good. It's good.

[Harry]

I hate to say it, but, yeah, he probably did it.

[Sass]

It's getting harder and harder to. To defend him, you know?

[Francis]

Doesn't seem great.

[Sass]

No, but they just. Yeah. Isn't the basketball thing insane when he.

[Francis]

Organized the game and nine people died.

[Sass]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Francis]

And it's what made him famous.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

I don't. I still don't really understand that.

[Sass]

I think he just used the publicity from that and, like, projected himself into the fucking spotlight.

[Francis]

How do you. But how do you make yourself famous from that rather than infamous?

[Sass]

I think back then, people didn't really care as much.

[Francis]

Really.

[Harry]

It was like when. When it was like the Oregon Trail where you had, like, nine kids and, like, if, like, six of them made it. You did a really good job.

[Francis]

Yeah, I see.

[Sass]

You know, but people weren't, like, getting, like, candid. It wasn't like.

[Francis]

I know. Barely.

[Harry]

But I do know we weren't getting canceled. The Woke Mind virus hadn't hit land yet.

[Sass]

We hadn't been infected at that time.

[Harry]

Thank God. It was a freeing and fucking beautiful time.

[Sass]

They're saying the Epstein files come out on Friday. Big release.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

They're doing it at the Supreme Store. People are lined up for the. For the release.

[Francis]

He's gonna flip them on grail.

[Sass]

How many times can they say the Epstein files are going to be released when there's just nothing changes or comes out just everywhere? It feels like it's like once a month. They're like. And the Epstein files are coming out on Wednesday. And it comes out. It's just a bunch of black lines.

[Harry]

Who gets to do that? Who gets to edit their Trump?

[Sass]

He has gone through Magic Markers with a Sharpie and just.

[Francis]

Don'T love the.

[Unknown]

That.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Don't love that. Did you guys do all your Christmas shopping?

[Harry]

No, I'm just about finished. I did the last. Actually. I have one more wave, but I'm almost all My presents are wrapped already.

[Sass]

Damn.

[Francis]

Can I say something that has. I'm a little troubled by dudes. You say so. You know, my sister now has three kids and a husband.

[Sass]

That's a lot of gifts.

[Francis]

I mean, I. It is. And I'm not getting a gift from each kid.

[Unknown]

Kid.

[Francis]

So what the. Is this one way street? Why am I.

[Sass]

How old are the kids?

[Francis]

You know how much money I've had to spend.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

On these. On these kids.

[Sass]

How. How old are they?

[Francis]

1, 3 and 5.

[Sass]

No, so you don't have to like, go crazy.

[Francis]

I mean, I still got them. I spent like 120 bucks on each kid. Not the baby. The baby's not getting. No, no, because it doesn't even remember yet what I'm getting.

[Sass]

Yeah. What about the five year old? Would you. The five year old?

[Francis]

The same thing. I got the three year old because I had a good present for the three year old and it was made clear to me that if I presented that to the three year old, the five year old would be jealous. And I said, I don't even think the 5 year old wants this. What is. The sister was like, she probably doesn't, but let's just be careful. What's the gift? A personalized golf bag. Oh, like for a kid. Yeah, but I have their names on each.

[Sass]

Oh, that's sick.

[Francis]

They're both getting into golf.

[Sass]

The.

[Francis]

The. My nephew's gonna be on tour, and everybody says that, but it's like, I've never seen a kid in my life be this coordinated at that young of an age.

[Sass]

Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty sick. How can we make. How can we make money off.

[Harry]

You have to get a piece of the pie. You have to figure out.

[Francis]

Now, famously, Rory's dad bet on him to win the Open at some point. I've still never understood how he was able to do that. He bet. He took like a future bet, futures bet on his son would win the Open before he turned 40 or something like that.

[Harry]

Oh, yeah. Let's bet on this kid. Let's bet on this kid now. Let's get on Kalashi call she. Yeah, let's get on the call sheet.

[Francis]

On the call sheet.

[Sass]

That shit is insane.

[Harry]

Insane.

[Francis]

So, yeah, so, you know, I'm buying presents for five.

[Harry]

Well, this is a conversation you have to have with yourself sister and just like, set the. Expect what? You should send her her list and you should kind of be like, send her your list. Be like, pick. Pick five of these 10 things.

[Francis]

Well, it's that. Oh, that's A very good point. Or I need to just immediately have like three kids myself.

[Harry]

Then you don't get anything.

[Sass]

You got to show up with your own three on Christmas.

[Harry]

Yeah, I adopted your kids.

[Sass]

Yeah, I got a. I. Me and my siblings are. We're doing no gifts this year year.

[Harry]

Which sucks.

[Sass]

It's not. It doesn't.

[Harry]

No, it does. I'm. I'm doing the same thing with some in laws as well. And we're doing no gifts with them.

[Sass]

It sucks, but it's also like. It does it.

[Francis]

Why are you doing no gifts?

[Sass]

Because none of us need anything.

[Francis]

What? That's not what the purpose of a gift is. You give someone something they need when they're like in trouble.

[Sass]

Yeah, but it's kind of just like a gift.

[Francis]

That's a lifeline.

[Harry]

It's a bailout.

[Sass]

We all made the mutual decision to just not the.

[Harry]

This year it's picking.

[Sass]

No one wants to spend the money.

[Harry]

It's picking the laziness.

[Sass]

I mean, we're still going to get gifts for like our parents and stuff.

[Francis]

You said that you love. You're a really good gift.

[Sass]

I don't need my like 17 year old sister to buy me something.

[Francis]

Dude, I've gotten you like 50 gifts over the last three weeks.

[Sass]

Yeah, but I.

[Francis]

And you've gotten me nothing. You know what, just so we're clear, this podcast, this is not a no gift podcast. That is not. Not our policy.

[Harry]

We don't. We haven't come to that agreement.

[Sass]

Yeah, well, we'll see.

[Francis]

We better see. You're running out of time. Tomorrow is the last pod that we're recording before break.

[Sass]

Well, my. I wouldn't be expecting anything tomorrow.

[Francis]

There's a store in Brooklyn that I really like.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Called Ven Space.

[Sass]

Ven space.

[Francis]

Go spend $11,000 there price.

[Sass]

A thousand?

[Francis]

Yeah. That's what you need to spend to make.

[Harry]

What do they have gotten you?

[Sass]

What do they sell at Venspace?

[Francis]

Japanese clothing. Everything. I'm wearing pretty much.

[Sass]

That's all right. That's out of the budget.

[Francis]

All right, well then just get me. I get you some small mouth, fast pipe.

[Sass]

I get you some like Chinese denim.

[Harry]

That's the sheen.

[Sass]

Taiwanese denim.

[Francis]

Denim.

[Harry]

Chinese denim is amazing.

[Francis]

Can you get me a smallmouth bass pipe?

[Sass]

Sure. Yeah.

[Francis]

Smoked bass pipe.

[Sass]

I'll just cut yours in half. It's a small mouth.

[Harry]

A King Solomon. You really want this bass? Who's the true owner of this largemouth bass?

[Sass]

It's gonna repaint over it with crayon.

[Francis]

I like that. I'll take that with crown.

[Sass]

I did get you assigned a book, though. I think you're gonna like it.

[Francis]

Come on.

[Harry]

I doubt that. That who's even in your orbit that can write, much less signed books.

[Francis]

All my favorite authors are dead.

[Sass]

That's what you thought.

[Francis]

No, they are.

[Sass]

That's what you thought.

[Harry]

Oh, get a Mulaney's book.

[Sass]

An ancient Hemingway autograph.

[Francis]

Well, that would be cool.

[Sass]

Yeah. That would cost probably a million dollars.

[Francis]

I don't know. You'd be surprised. There's little things that aren't as much.

[Sass]

I don't know. I tried to buy my dad like. Like, cool, like, Bob Dylan memorabilia last year, and it was like. Like, I was like. Yeah, that's not. Not even in the question. It's like $5,000 for, like, a ticket stub.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Didn't Hemingway famously sign one of Hitler's teacups or something like that that you could get him?

[Sass]

No, that was Tom Segura.

[Harry]

Okay, got it. Yeah, I knew it was something like that. I knew it was something along those lines. All right, all right. All right. Okay.

[Sass]

Solid episode.

[Harry]

See you guys next time. See you guys on Thursday. Next.

[Sass]

We'll see you guys on Thursday. Thanks, everybody, for listening. Have a great rest of your day.

[Unknown]

Underground. So I looked older to you Came around I was only falling one way I was only falling one way Days were drifted. Now I come alive I was only the only one way I was only falling one way I was only falling one way I was only falling one way that is true. You're right. Did you realize no one can take me alive I was only falling one way. To see just a distant light Being fast forever right. Call it just a memory Take my head and you can see. Sam. Did you realize no one could take me alive. Sa.