Bandwagon Violence | Son of a Boy Dad #409

Summary

Son of a Boy Dad #409: "Bandwagon Violence"

Release Date: June 11, 2026
Hosts: Barstool Sports (Harry "Lil Sasquatch", Dave, & Francis Ellis)

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Episode Overview

The hosts dive deep into the wild atmosphere and violence surrounding the recent Knicks playoff run, focusing on the rise of "bandwagon violence"—fans aggressively confronting rival supporters. They riff on New York sports culture, celebrity appearances at games, the political fever pitch at MSG, and increasingly absurd security measures. The episode seamlessly blends sports talk, cultural commentary, vivid storytelling, and classic Barstool-style humor.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Knicks Fan Violence and 'Bandwagon' Culture

• [02:03-07:06]
  • The episode opens with stories and jokes about Knicks fans physically confronting visiting Spurs fans in NYC, particularly after Knicks playoff games.
  • The hosts debate whether this kind of antagonistic, territorial energy is unique to New York or a broader phenomenon.
  • Dave: “Where was this violent, protective, territorial energy from the Knicks fans for the last 50 years?... Now all of a sudden it's like, we have to protect this fogging house.”
• [05:03-06:46]
  • Criticism of "bandwagon fans," who have only started caring and being aggressive because of the Knicks' recent success.
  • "Bandwagon violence" is condemned as especially nonsensical—if true fans wanted to fight, it should have happened when the team was bad.

2. Commentary on Fan Initiations and 'Ball Knowledge'

• [06:00-06:09]
  • Francis jokes that Knicks fans should only be allowed to fight if they can name 2015 roster players, mocking how superficial some of the aggression is.
  • Francis Ellis: “You shouldn't be allowed to beat someone up unless you can name, like, players from the 2015 roster... Have to have some ball knowledge to be able to whip ass in the streets.”

3. Celebrity Presence and NBA Finals Atmosphere

• [13:05-14:23]
  • The conversation shifts to celebrities at the games: Timothy Chalamet, Jay Z, Denzel, Donald Trump, Ben Stiller, and more.
  • Jokes about how these appearances reflect the Knicks’ newfound popularity and the overall "corporate" flavor of modern fandom.
  • Francis Ellis (re: Chalamet): “If Timothee Chalamet wasn't famous, he would be hugging his overweight Mexican girlfriend from behind in line for a roller coaster at Six Flags.” [13:38]

4. The Donald Trump Factor and Arena Security

• [15:05-29:08]
  • Harsh crowd reactions to Trump’s appearance at MSG, followed by debates about the need for bulletproof glass and extreme security.
  • Tangents about arena violence, the President’s visibility, and the symbolism versus the function of elaborate precautions.
  • Francis Ellis: “You know who wishes they had some bulletproof glass? Fucking Abraham Lincoln. This is a prime Wilkes Booth situation.” [27:26]
  • Harry: “If they're putting bulletproof glass around Trump at the game, maybe don’t go to the game.” [21:32]
  • Ongoing riffing about the “Pope-mobile,” possible assassination attempts, and cultural implications.

5. The Economics & Politics of Esports at Barstool

• [47:00-53:01]
  • The hosts segue into Barstool's internal politics, especially budget disputes for esports events, explaining intricacies for listeners.
  • Harry: “We just want more freedom to… we know what to do. We know how to book everything.”
  • Ongoing negotiations with their boss Austin are previewed, with much dry humor about 'off-the-books' funding and “daddy Dave” (Portnoy) wanting his cut.

6. Hypothetical Comedy Characters: The 'War Lib'

• [57:30-69:48]
  • Francis wonders if there could be an “offensive, woke, liberal version” of edgy right-wing comics—“a war lib.”
  • They develop the idea of a panderer comic who switches personas by city (lib in Portland, conservative in Texas), plotting an entire bi-coastal tour.
  • Francis: “Why am I not the guy? Why can’t I?... I’m opening a comedy club in Portland, Oregon—it’s an unsafe space. Anything goes, as long as you don’t hate on gay people.” [62:32-62:48]
  • Harry: “I think if you were to go and you were to be like, make yourself known as like, I’m the biggest panderer comedian on the planet… you go to Texas and you’re a full on racist. … Francis and Francois. … Frank in the red states. Francisco in the blue.” [68:40]

7. Tangents & Memorable Sidebits

• [41:08-44:43] Harry’s wild Uber driver story: Tells about meeting a driver who brags about sucking on a nursing mother’s breast—one of several moments of absurd, bawdy humor.
• [36:15-38:48] Harry runs into Spurs’ Luke Kornet in full gear on the street, doesn’t recognize him, muses about famous people maintaining privacy.
• [74:03-74:46] Dave describes a frontier novel where the Comanches force the protagonist to drink buffalo milk and eat intestines, sparking a tangent about historical authenticity and toughness.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Francis Ellis [06:05]: “Have to have some ball knowledge to be able to whip ass in the streets.”
• Dave [05:27]: “Why… Where was this energy for the last 50 years? You’re all of a sudden violent now because they’re good?”
• Francis Ellis [13:36]: “If Timothy Chalamet wasn’t famous, he would be hugging his overweight Mexican girlfriend from behind in line for a roller coaster at Six Flags.”
• Francis Ellis [27:26]: “You know who wishes they had some bulletproof glass? Fucking Abraham Lincoln. This is a prime Wilkes Booth situation.”
• Harry [41:08]: “Started talking about how he was going out with some girl who just had a baby and he said he was sucking one of the titties while the kid was sucking the other.”
• Francis Ellis [62:32]: “Why am I not the guy? Why can’t I?... I’m opening a comedy club in Portland, Oregon—it’s an unsafe space. Anything goes, as long as you don’t hate on gay people.”

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:03] – Opening jokes and stories about Knicks fan violence
• [05:03] – "Where was this energy for the last 50 years" / bandwagon critique
• [06:42] – Only real fans should be allowed to fight: “ball knowledge” joke
• [13:05] – Celebrity watch at the NBA Finals
• [15:05] – Trump at MSG, bulletproof glass debate, crowd booing
• [27:26] – “Lincoln needed the glass” assassination jokery
• [47:00] – Barstool internal drama, esports budget debate
• [57:30] – Brainstorming the “war lib”/pandering comedian concept
• [74:03] – Wild Comanche food/race traitor sidetrack
• [41:08] – Harry’s Uber driver ‘titty’ story

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Tone & Style

The show maintains the irreverent, loose, and often absurdist humor Barstool is known for, with plenty of dry sarcasm, quick-fire riffing, and tongue-in-cheek exaggeration. The hosts are self-aware—often mocking themselves and their city’s sports culture as much as anyone else. Jokes blend seamlessly with pointed observations, and current events are mined for both earnest and absurd commentary.

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For New Listeners

If you missed this episode, you'll come away with insights on the irrationality of sports fandom, the intersection of celebrity and regular life, bizarre New York moments, and an inside look at Barstool's business politics—all delivered with plenty of jokes, wild stories, and a refusal to ever take themselves too seriously.

Transcript

[Francis Ellis]

Hey, Son of a boy. Dad. Listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.

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[Dave]

all right, all righty.

[Harry]

Welcome back to the Son of a Boy dad podcast. Today it is June 9th. The Knicks are bad and are losing.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, I saw Sass drop kick a Spurs fan in the chest at Bryant Park. I saw him jump off the top of a bus stop and rko.

[Harry]

I was in the first fan I got. I got out there last night. Took the train. In solo.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. And I just.

[Harry]

I wore a mask.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. Masked up like you were looting in the fucking riots.

[Dave]

You wore a Knicks jersey and beat someone up even though you're in a jersey.

[Harry]

I had an Uber driver that was telling me that he was going to the. He was going to sit outside of the stadium and watch and he was like, smoke a little tweed. Get outside the stadium. I was like, yeah, that sounds awful.

[Francis Ellis]

That sounds insane. Where can you even sit? It was impossible to get in.

[Harry]

I think people Just stand outside. Is. Do they have, like, a big screen outside of the arena?

[Francis Ellis]

No, last night it was like, all from 30th to 34th was completely blocked off. Like it was the inside of an airport.

[Harry]

But, like, people weren't there.

[Francis Ellis]

No, you had to go to Bryant park to watch outside.

[Harry]

Oh, really? That's lame.

[Francis Ellis]

And Mom, Donnie was like, make the streets run with their blood.

[Harry]

He said he called out the hit.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, he was like, don't let a Spurs fan walk in this city. Nixon 5.

[Harry]

Do you think if he tweeted something like that, he would be removed from office just immediately, you think?

[Dave]

No, I think he'd be celebrated if

[Harry]

he tweeted and was like, I don't want to see a Spurs fan on the street.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. They'd be like, bing bong, dickhead. We voted for the right one.

[Harry]

I think he would. That would be a massive issue.

[Francis Ellis]

They'd be like, let me get a chopped cheese with a fucking spurs fans dick on it.

[Dave]

We were talking before the episode started about the brawls, and things that have started have been broken out where it's just like 20 Knicks fans forcing some dweeby spurs fan to take their jersey off. Meanwhile, their face is covered in blood. And I don't know. I mean, obviously, that's just insane.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Dave]

For so many reasons.

[Harry]

Yeah, I think it's crazy. I mean, I was listening to what you guys were saying before, but I feel like they're like. I feel like there's certain cities that are like that. Like, I don't think New York's the only city that, like, obviously like Philly.

[Dave]

No, but that's the identity there. So, people, again, it's like, you know what you're getting yourself into to a degree.

[Francis Ellis]

But if a Philly fan beats someone up for wearing the wrong jersey, or if they jump someone for wearing the wrong jersey, they're a loser, too. It's not like, oh, they get to pass because they're from Philly. No, you're also a loser. It's not like. It's like, some cities it's cool, and some cities it's not.

[Dave]

My thought was that where was this violent, protective, territorial energy from the Knicks fans for the last 50 years? You could waltz into the Garden wearing any team's opposing jersey until, what, like this year till last night, when all of a sudden it's like, we have to protect this fogging house.

[Harry]

I think that's the biggest issue, everyone with the Knicks and their fans is that there's so many bandwagon fans well, they're all.

[Dave]

Those are also just blue shirt wearing Wall street bros. Yeah. I mean, imagine decided to get excited for the first time.

[Harry]

Yeah. Imagine like just watching the Knicks, this, like, series for the first time and you're like, beating the fuck out of spurs fans. I was like, you should go to jail for that.

[Dave]

I was like. I said. I was like, what? Why? Where was this energy for the last 50 years? You're all of a sudden violent now because they're good. It should have been the opposite.

[Harry]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dave]

Have been beating people up because that's all you had.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Dave]

When they were bad.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

Have you ever seen the initiation videos? Of course. They, like, have to beat someone up until they, like, list like 15 serials or some shit like that.

[Harry]

I just see the one where they yell and fight back.

[Francis Ellis]

It's like you have to like, name like 15 cartoon characters while they're beating you up. That should be the opposite for the Knicks fans. And like, you shouldn't be allowed to beat someone up unless you can name, like, players from the 2015 roster.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

Have to have some ball knowledge to be able to whip ass in the streets.

[Harry]

Yeah. I mean, it is like, like, what are the, like, New York teams? I mean, I guess Yankees, Mets, Jets, Giants, Rangers.

[Francis Ellis]

No one's won since The Giants in 2011.

[Dave]

Yeah. What do you. What exercise are you doing? You're not.

[Harry]

I'm just like, trying to think of, like, if I, like. Last time I've seen so many people wearing, like yesterday, like, almost everyone on the street, or at least around here was wearing full Knicks gear.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

Ugly colors too.

[Harry]

Really bad.

[Dave]

I don't really have a problem with that. I have. I have a problem with like, bandwagon violence.

[Harry]

Yeah. I mean, bandwagon violence.

[Dave]

That makes no sense to me.

[Harry]

It's just.

[Dave]

I mean, it's like also the spurs, like, they're not. This isn't some blood rivalry that's been percolating for 20 years.

[Harry]

Not at all. Their team got good, like this year.

[Dave]

Yeah. Recently, they just aren't. The Knicks, spurs rivalry, I mean, 99. They played each other. That. That was like, no one was.

[Francis Ellis]

None of these people were alive. It's 22 year olds beating people up.

[Dave]

It's also like. Yeah, the spurs are arguably the most respectable franchise in the NBA.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Dave]

All those championships they won. Greg Popovich, probably the best coach ever. I don't know.

[Harry]

I know enough about.

[Dave]

Talk to me. Roan. Am I wrong about that?

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, totally.

[Dave]

You couldn't hate those spurs teams because they were too fundamentally Sound.

[Harry]

Yeah. I mean, the only thing I see is, like, the Wemby thing last night. Like, I could see people getting mad about that.

[Francis Ellis]

It's not about the Spur. It's not about the Spurs. It's about.

[Harry]

Well, it's a little bit about the Spurs.

[Francis Ellis]

No, it's about the Nick. No matter who they play. It's not like if they're playing the Warriors.

[Harry]

I think if Wembie doesn't shove Brunson's head like that, I think maybe two Lesburs fans die last night, but there's still 300 deaths.

[Francis Ellis]

That's a drop in the bucket. These are bad. I just don't think that the violence should be directed towards human beings.

[Harry]

Now.

[Francis Ellis]

Flip a car like a normal fan base. Throw a fucking trash can through a fucking Smash Burger window. Like, go against, like, a corporate entity. Don't. Don't. Like.

[Harry]

I just feel like, also, like, a game three at home, losing by what, five in, like, the last seconds of the game? Like, I don't really feel like that's.

[Francis Ellis]

And you're up to one.

[Harry]

Yeah, I don't feel that's like a game where it's just like, I get, like, maybe, like, game seven or maybe they tie the series, like, last. Like. Like, people are. Like. I feel like people are kind of just going on with today. Like, yeah, that sucked. But, like, I can't imagine killing someone last night over that game. Like, that game. Like, you knew the Knicks were gonna lose the whole fourth quarter.

[Francis Ellis]

The last scene of, like, Gangs of New York, where it's like, there's a black man being strung up on 34th and 7th. Oh, another one on 22nd and 3rd. The police blotters just now. Does it change your guys calculus at all that, like, some of the people who were getting beat up were streamers that were there to troll.

[Dave]

Oh, that's not.

[Francis Ellis]

You get.

[Dave]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that.

[Harry]

Yeah, that.

[Dave]

That's civic duty.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

I still. I still think it's. You shouldn't beat them up. Like, just let someone troll and, like, beat them at trolling.

[Harry]

I mean, to be honest, you show

[Dave]

up doing that, you are literally asking to be beaten up. That's what they're there for.

[Harry]

They're looking to get.

[Dave]

Is that. How many of those people were that?

[Harry]

50 of the people there, I would say.

[Francis Ellis]

I did see a van of them coming up. I did see a van full of streamers. And they're like, are you ready for this? And one kid was like, I'm not scared in the front seat, but rubbing his hands together, which is like, clearly, when you rub your hands together, your hands are sweaty. And so, like, that's true. Pure nervous sign. Yeah.

[Harry]

I saw Sneako was there. Boo. And Trump, which was pretty funny.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. Because I'm pretty sure he was, like, the number one. He was, like, arguing on the streets with Rabbi Schmolly.

[Harry]

Yeah. Was it him or Adian Ross that, like, bought Trump the Tesla?

[Francis Ellis]

I don't know.

[Harry]

With, like, Trump's face on it.

[Francis Ellis]

Streamer. Gift giving culture is very funny.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

You just have to give someone something. I saw Moses the Jeweler was pissed off.

[Harry]

Really?

[Francis Ellis]

Moses the Jeweler was furious. Did you see that?

[Dave]

Well, I saw him. Yeah, I saw. Yeah, that guy.

[Francis Ellis]

Moses the Jeweler. I don't know. I didn't realize Moses the Jeweler had come across your desk, Francis.

[Dave]

I see. I've seen that guy.

[Harry]

You're familiar.

[Dave]

I know Mo. I know Mo.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. Moses the Jeweler was there with Fano. And they're like, we're the only crazy Knicks fans. It's corporate now.

[Harry]

Yeah. I mean, the whole thing is. Is pretty crazy. I'm excited for game four. I wish it was tonight. I don't think they need the full. I hate the night off thing.

[Francis Ellis]

Really.

[Harry]

Especially in the NBA and NHL. I hate when they do that.

[Dave]

Well, they have to.

[Harry]

NBA.

[Dave]

Yes.

[Francis Ellis]

They're barely.

[Harry]

They're already recovered. They're already good. They woke up today, like, fully refreshed.

[Dave]

No, that game.

[Francis Ellis]

They're 21 years old.

[Dave]

These games are. These games are wars.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Dave]

That game was very physical.

[Harry]

Bronson look cooked at the end of

[Dave]

the game, which is interesting because he probably played his fewest minutes of any playoff game so far this year due to his foul trouble.

[Harry]

Really? I don't pay it. I don't know what I'm talking about. So he looked tired.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

I saw sweat on his face.

[Dave]

OG Looked very good. I was impressed with him. He's the only guy seemingly who can kind of get past Wemby and then protect by dunking. He's the only guy who just seems to find a way to, like, seal Wemby behind him and not worry about being blocked by.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. Sometimes you see that, you're like, why doesn't Wemby just go go Gadget arm. Try and block it from behind. But OG is that stout.

[Dave]

He's that strong.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, he's strong enough.

[Dave]

Just strength.

[Harry]

Strong as an ox.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Was he the one that hit the three at the end?

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, in that corner. Three. That was sick. It was like I was for the last minute, I was like, the fucking Knicks are gonna do it again.

[Harry]

Oh, I thought they were gonna. I, like, the thing is, like, basketball, it's like, you know, like, I feel like it's so, like. Like they're gonna foul. Like, this is gonna happen. Like, it's. I know, but get to a point where you're like, they're not gonna win.

[Dave]

The replays were getting onerous. That was crazy. I thought the final quarter, I mean, it just took so long. It kind of really took some of the momentum out of watching it from home.

[Harry]

But is that what, like, I. I really have barely watched the NBA Finals. I watched the whole game last night, but I wasn't really. I wasn't fully locked in for the first half.

[Francis Ellis]

Is Timothy Chalamet wearing on anybody else a little bit?

[Harry]

No, I lost Timothy.

[Francis Ellis]

I get the feeling that if Timothee Chalamet wasn't famous, he would be hugging his overweight Mexican girlfriend from behind in line for a roller coaster at Six Flags.

[Harry]

I could see that, too.

[Francis Ellis]

Which makes him sound like a Spurs fan. Come on, baby. Yeah. Thanks for buying the tickets, baby.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Harry]

I mean, I don't mind him. I don't. I don't. I mean, like, he was there all last year. He's been there all this year.

[Dave]

Well, he's been going his whole life.

[Harry]

Yeah, he bought.

[Dave]

He bought season tickets when he was a kid.

[Harry]

Oh, really?

[Dave]

In the nose paint and sold a bunch of them.

[Harry]

Oh, yeah. I mean, I don't have any issues with him. I mean, are they. Are they showing him, like, every. Every five seconds?

[Francis Ellis]

A lot. I mean, he is courtside. Yeah. But, yeah, he's probably.

[Dave]

He's probably the. The most famous actor on the planet right now. Wouldn't. Would you say. Would you say that he. Who's. Who's bigger than he is. Who's hotter than he is right now?

[Harry]

Like, in terms of, like, new up

[Dave]

and like, anybody in Hollywood who's hotter than he is?

[Harry]

Like, if you go, like, I think males only.

[Dave]

Sure.

[Harry]

I think if you were to go, like, I think, like, Leo and like, those guys.

[Dave]

Still more body of work. Yeah.

[Harry]

But I think he's definitely. I mean, like, in terms of, like, current, relevant actors, he's definitely the most.

[Dave]

I think because, you know, he's dating the Jenner.

[Harry]

True.

[Dave]

I forgot about that in Dune.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Which is the best.

[Francis Ellis]

And then, like, having.

[Harry]

But if you saw Leo.

[Francis Ellis]

Massive hits.

[Harry]

You're pausing the tv. Let's get a closer look at this. Like, he doesn't get out much.

[Dave]

He's a little bit more of an old man in the mountain mystic kind of guy. Doesn't appear as much.

[Harry]

Yeah. Maybe that's just me, though. Maybe I'm just a Leo guy. I saw Denzel was there.

[Francis Ellis]

I saw Jay Z was there.

[Dave]

That's, that's.

[Harry]

I thought he was in prison. Didn't he, like, rape a little boy?

[Dave]

Jay Z?

[Harry]

Yeah. You're thinking of Diddy. No, I think Jay Z got into some trouble too.

[Francis Ellis]

They were like, he's the goat, let him have one.

[Harry]

Yeah, true. I mean, like, the Knicks are in the finals. You're not going to deny Jay Z.

[Francis Ellis]

I saw that Trump got there via Air Force One, Chalamet showed up in a Lamborghini and Ben Stiller got there via the tunnels from Williamsburg.

[Harry]

I think that the reason. I bet if Trump didn't go to the game, I bet there would have been less violence last night. You make everyone wait in a four hour TSA line. That's how the people get angry. People get. People are fired up now, dude.

[Francis Ellis]

But I think most of the violence was at Bryant park for like the watch party.

[Harry]

They're probably pissed for their friends at the game. I saw Wemby getting screened in the tunnel of msg. Like he was going. He was boarding a flight at LaGuardia.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. A long ass wand. What?

[Harry]

They think Wemby was gonna be the guy to kill Trump? That would be crazy.

[Dave]

I could see they. Did you see the sort of glass that they erected around Trump's box?

[Harry]

Yeah, the bulletproof glass.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

They booed him and then they muted it on the tv.

[Dave]

Sounded like that. Yeah. I don't think it was a great idea. I get why they did it. But to cut to Trump during the anthem.

[Harry]

Oh, yeah.

[Dave]

Is a conflicting moment there.

[Francis Ellis]

Did you see them?

[Dave]

Because the people were booing and I.

[Harry]

And it's like, yeah.

[Dave]

First of all, that anthem, that was the. One of the best national anthems I've ever heard sung. That guy's voice was beyond belief.

[Harry]

Oh, really?

[Dave]

Oh, my God, that guy.

[Harry]

I don't know if I.

[Dave]

It was unbelievable.

[Harry]

I was taking a knee sound like Seinfeld.

[Dave]

It was unbelievable. Yeah, he's incredible. Yeah. That guy was amazing. And imagine being that guy and you're killing it and then all of a sudden everyone's booing.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Yeah. I never even thought.

[Dave]

He probably doesn't know Trump's on the jumbotron.

[Francis Ellis]

What the. Did I just.

[Dave]

He's not looking up. He's like, oh, did I miss a word?

[Harry]

Yeah, he thinks, yeah, he definitely thought he butchered the out of it.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Added his own verse and vamping. I mean, that would throw me off.

[Dave]

So.

[Harry]

Doesn't matter where you're at in the song.

[Dave]

I know.

[Harry]

You start hearing 25,000 people booing. You're like, I must have done something bad.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Never. They're never booking me again.

[Francis Ellis]

They had Trump on a couch like this. They had him on like a three seater couch and there was like a dude sitting in the middle. Imagine being like, at least get two people on the couch. Three, like squeezing on a couch. Trump's have the President having to squeeze his balls at a finals game.

[Harry]

I saw his granddaughter was there. She looked like terrified when the booing was going on.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

Kai.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Dave]

People. My buddies in my group chat were like, have some respect for the anthem and the presidency. And I was like, what are you talking about? This is selective patriotism.

[Harry]

Yeah. It's also not the first time that this has happened.

[Dave]

No, it isn't. And you know, you're just fucking doing all the same shit that, like, both sides just decide to become, like, to

[Harry]

cite die hard patriots, patriotism when it

[Dave]

suits them that the other side has not.

[Harry]

How dare you boo when the flag has been raised.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

It's like, what?

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. How dare you exercise your freedom of speech.

[Harry]

Yeah. I mean, I just think Trump going to New York for the Knicks game three, like, what was. What were they expecting to happen?

[Dave]

Correct.

[Harry]

A massive applause. He could have been any of the presidents. They would have been booed.

[Dave]

Hates New York City.

[Harry]

Yeah. I don't understand.

[Dave]

Vilified New York.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Dave]

And totally separated himself and called this place a fucking dump.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

He.

[Dave]

I don't even know if I would say he's wrong.

[Francis Ellis]

It was funny when he was like,

[Dave]

fallen a bit to seed.

[Francis Ellis]

They're like, do you like basketball? He's like, it's fun. It's a bit left wing, but it's fun. I thought that was a good line by him, but I just can't believe that he didn't have a comfy seat. Like, they're building a custom box for you with bulletproof glass. You can't get a. A Lazy Boy. You can't get an ottoman underneath or like some. A massage chair or just going three wide on a couch is never comfortable.

[Dave]

Who was the guy he was sitting with?

[Francis Ellis]

I don't know.

[Dave]

Oh, was it James Dolan?

[Francis Ellis]

That was. That was the one in the middle.

[Harry]

I don't know.

[Francis Ellis]

I saw Bloomberg get smoked on the sideline.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

Robert Kraft on the sideline.

[Harry]

Jeets with all the pedophiles are out. Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

Jeter and Eli Manning. I didn't know they were pedophiles. That's crazy to see that. You have to be a pedophile, too.

[Harry]

Yeah, that was. That was going, like, a bad time.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. That looks so opposite. That looks opposite of Vibey.

[Harry]

That doesn't look like a good time at all.

[Francis Ellis]

Like, James Dolan is sitting in the middle seat on an airplane right there. Like, having to cross his arms. Can't use the armrest.

[Dave]

James Dolan's also been hated by New York people for so long, but maybe they're turning that around now that the Knicks are good again. Would you guys say, is. Is James Dolan still despised or have people come around on him?

[Harry]

I don't think, but I might. I might be wrong.

[Francis Ellis]

He hates barstool, too.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

He, like, won't let people come to. Like, he wouldn't let. I think he wouldn't let, like, Glenny Balls on, like, the floor of some event or something like that.

[Harry]

I know that Dave said that when we had that big conversation about if he could sell out Madison Square Garden or not, he said that he wouldn't be allowed to do a show at Madison Square Garden regardless, Like, even if he could sell it out.

[Dave]

Dave said that?

[Harry]

Yeah. Because this guy wouldn't let him imagine. Yeah, because turning down, like, a full arena of people just because you don't like the guy.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. But he could just be like, I'll just put in Billy Joel for night.

[Harry]

Yeah, I guess that's true.

[Dave]

Yeah. We'll bring Harry Styles back for a little.

[Harry]

For 35 shows.

[Francis Ellis]

30. 35th show in a row. Do you. Where do you stand on that debate? Are you still. That Dave couldn't sell it out?

[Harry]

I don't. I don't speak on things like that anymore. It's beyond me. I would assume. I would say. I don't know. I don't know. It's tough now.

[Francis Ellis]

I actually never thought I'd see the day. You'd be so scared to speak your mind. Oh.

[Harry]

It was like. I don't really feel like re. Bringing up all that.

[Francis Ellis]

So you feel the same way?

[Harry]

No, I haven't thought about it in years.

[Francis Ellis]

Just asking you to think about it.

[Harry]

I'm trying, but I'm just having a hard time getting good. A good answer for you.

[Francis Ellis]

What do you think about that? Do you think that he could.

[Dave]

I don't have any comment either. I'm afraid of my own words.

[Harry]

What do you.

[Francis Ellis]

This.

[Harry]

If they're Putting bulletproof glass around Trump at the game. Maybe don't go to the game. Like, if they're. If you're at a. Like, if someone shot at Trump, it is msg. It would have been like a stampede of people. Like, it would have been chaos.

[Dave]

Well, help me out.

[Harry]

Never happened before.

[Dave]

Help me out here. When he goes to the UFC fights, does he sit behind bulletproof glass then?

[Harry]

I think he sits front row.

[Dave]

That's kind of what I thought. Can we look that up?

[Francis Ellis]

He does, or at least he has.

[Harry]

It might be.

[Dave]

So the presumption. The presumption then, is that you're. That an arena of UFC fans is just so unanimously friendly to the President and that Madison Square Garden is so against him that he has to protect his life. In one versus the other. They're still both 20,000 people.

[Harry]

Yeah. I mean, you could get a bad

[Dave]

egg in each place, I would think.

[Harry]

Yeah, Yeah. I mean, I totally agree. It's. It doesn't make any sense, but the, like, I guess the u. Like, this is more recent.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Assassination attempts.

[Francis Ellis]

Well, I also think that quotations. I think that in the. Like, the. Imagine if he was sitting in Michael Bloomberg seats and there was, like, a loose ball, and Jose Alvarado, like, shouldered Trump in the face going after a loose ball or something like that. Like, in the ufc, there's, like, a fence that you can't. It's not going to spill over to hit you. Yeah, but still, like, bulletproof glass is a different point.

[Harry]

Bulletproof glass. Like, if there's bulletproof glass, that means that they think that there is a possibility that someone is going to try to shoot Trump at the Garden, which, if that's the case, aren't you putting everyone that's at the Garden in danger by being there?

[Francis Ellis]

Nah.

[Dave]

The President should be able to go to a sporting event without his life being.

[Harry]

Yeah, but like.

[Dave]

Like, I just think it's, like, we should, theoretically.

[Harry]

No, I agree. I live in a country where you

[Dave]

can go to a game and not be like, I gotta kill the President today.

[Harry]

No, I completely agree.

[Dave]

I've got two tickets, but I was planning to just watch. But now that he's coming.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, I spent 10,000 on tickets.

[Dave]

I'm gonna build a 3D printed gun

[Francis Ellis]

and fucking smuggle a plastic gun in my.

[Dave]

Smuggle it up my asshole.

[Harry]

But that's the thing that I put

[Dave]

in the fucking bath. Bathroom.

[Harry]

Like, I just don't get, like, the bulletproof glass means, like, security thinks, hey, we were. We did our best, but it's. There's still a chance.

[Francis Ellis]

No, I think it's just like you, you, if, if something did happen, it would be like, well, why the. Wasn't he behind bulletproof glass? I think it's just like a fail safe type of. Like, you have to have the every measure covered or else you.

[Harry]

But like, look at where the bulletproof glass is. Like, this isn't. This is insinuating that someone is gonna take a shot with like, a rifle from, like, fort. Like, he's in the nosebleeds and the bulletproof glasses in front of him. So where are they shooting from? The other side of the nosebleeds?

[Francis Ellis]

I don't know.

[Harry]

Like this. I just think it's crazy. I think it's crazy to even have the bulletproof glass.

[Francis Ellis]

Well, I heard, I saw he was banging on it like a hockey game. Like,

[Dave]

they also had the glass when he went to the Ryder Cup.

[Harry]

Oh, yeah.

[Dave]

Again, that's New York to me. It's. It seems like, I don't know, like, they decide that they need to put.

[Francis Ellis]

I think enough people have tried to kill him that it's just like.

[Dave]

Well, yeah, my point is that they should have it everywhere. Well, I, I don't think he should be going to UFC fights. Fucking unglassed.

[Harry]

But that's the thing that I don't understand. Like, do you think that they're.

[Francis Ellis]

Do.

[Harry]

Do you think the glass is to, like, put fear in people? To be like, oh, look, when Trump's here, he needs the glass?

[Dave]

No, I don't think so. I think it's a correct and necessary precaution at this point. But I, but I don't. Entirely under my thought would be.

[Harry]

I think the correct, the correct move would just be, hey, watch the game from home. Let's watch. You don't watch the Knicks at all. You never been to the games. Let's watch from home.

[Dave]

There's a big press.

[Harry]

Rather than walking in with a fucking glass box around you.

[Dave]

Heads of state presidents going to Super Bowls and major events, of course, but he should be able to do that.

[Harry]

I don't know. I think the thing, I think you're

[Francis Ellis]

trying to lull the Secret Service to sleep. And no, you're like, there's no reason for anybody to be concerned. And then, bam. That's where sass steps in.

[Harry]

I think the glass is more of a statement than it is an actual, like, safety precaution.

[Dave]

It's not even bulletproof, honestly.

[Harry]

It could be like, it might just be like plexiglass candy glass.

[Francis Ellis]

Trump was probably for someone to hit it like a wrestling move and it just shatters like stone cold. Cold walking through.

[Dave]

I don't know. I, I, I, I don't, I don't really know what to make of it, to be honest with you.

[Harry]

Like, has there been any, like, shootings at the Garden before that?

[Francis Ellis]

It's just a public. You saw how violent it was outside.

[Harry]

But it's a four hour security line. And then going in and being inside

[Dave]

of a cage, dude, I think 20,000 people. It's pretty tough to be perfect in, in frisking and not letting someone slip through. Whether maybe, maybe they've acquired a MSG employee outfit.

[Francis Ellis]

Right.

[Dave]

And a fake mustache.

[Harry]

I mean that.

[Francis Ellis]

Have you considered the fake mustache?

[Harry]

No.

[Francis Ellis]

Because it seems like you're not.

[Dave]

Fake mustache off. And he's like, I'm part of the damn act. You fool. You fool.

[Harry]

I just think that this is an insane visual to look at.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. But you know who wishes they had some bulletproof glass? Fucking Abraham Lincoln. That, like this is, this is a prime Wilkes Booth situation.

[Harry]

But Abraham Lincoln didn't have the glass. Like he's mad enough to go to the play without the glass.

[Dave]

Yeah. Because we had to learn from a hard way that we need glass.

[Harry]

But they got like 20 other presidents after Abe, so clearly the glass doesn't matter.

[Dave]

Those didn't happen at a guy.

[Francis Ellis]

And they got three other ones after.

[Harry]

No glass.

[Francis Ellis]

Who was talking yesterday.

[Harry]

They're like, option for glass opted out.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Dave]

You know, but that happened in Texas. Right. So he was a Democrat. Makes sense. Should have had glass.

[Harry]

What's he going to do? Drive down the street with a glass box over the car?

[Francis Ellis]

That's literally what the Pope does.

[Dave]

Correct.

[Francis Ellis]

Have you seen the Popemobile?

[Dave]

No.

[Francis Ellis]

Tyler, do us a solid show. The Pope Mobile.

[Dave]

Like if he's going to, if he went to a drag show in Boston, he doesn't need glass.

[Harry]

I guess. Yeah. Like that's pretty much what they should have for Trump.

[Francis Ellis]

Look at the front of the car. Why does it look like a souped up El Camino?

[Harry]

That's crazy. That's kind of sick, to be honest.

[Francis Ellis]

The bottom, the new ones with the Mercedes, that Vatican. I knew that the tithing money at the Catholic Church was going to something good. A nice G wagon for the Pope. Whited out G wagon.

[Dave]

That's unbelievable.

[Harry]

That's pretty sick.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. He's flexing in that bitch.

[Harry]

Like if Trump showed up in one of those, I would have a little bit more respect.

[Francis Ellis]

His shit is, I mean, instead of

[Harry]

just one thin Layer of glass in front of him. Shit's not going to stop a airsoft gun.

[Dave]

It's not going to stop.

[Harry]

Exactly.

[Dave]

Poke shot with a grenade.

[Harry]

Exactly. Have they not taken that? They haven't taken account for the possibility of grenades.

[Dave]

Grenades are. Yeah, Ralph Naders are not. Not gonna be stopped.

[Francis Ellis]

From the way the Knicks were shooting last night, though, nobody in New York was hitting Trump.

[Harry]

Yeah, it's true.

[Francis Ellis]

38% chance of hitting them. Damn bums.

[Harry]

All right, guys, quick question. How are my Shady Rays? Basically the same quality as $200 sunglasses I used to buy. This is actually the reason that I switched over to Shady Rays full time. And I'm not exaggerating. They feel every bit as premium as the expensive brands I've owned. Meanwhile, I'm wearing Shady Rays to the lake, on the boat, at the game, on the job site, because if I drop them in the ocean, they replace them.

[Dave]

You're gonna throw some Croakies on there, old boy?

[Harry]

Yeah, I mean, I'll probably throw some croakies on my Shady Rays. But guess what? Even if I don't throw some Croakies, say I forget my croakies. Maybe my croakies rip. Maybe someone snips the back of my croakies.

[Dave]

That sounds like something I'll do. I like that prank.

[Harry]

But you know what's going to be nice is that Shady Rays will replace them.

[Dave]

That's so generous.

[Harry]

And they're actually premium polarized lenses that cut glare hard. Super clear optics, durable frames with solid hinges. Clean, classic styles that look sharp without trying too hard. If you're outside on the water, in the sun, driving every day, you need shades that actually perform. Go to shadyrays.com grab a pair and get sunglasses with lost and broken protection. We've teamed up with Shady Rays to bring you an exclusive offer. Head to shadyrays.com and use code dad for 50% off. Two or more polarized sunglasses. 50% off? That's crazy.

[Dave]

That is crazy.

[Harry]

Try for yourself The Shades rated five stars by over 300,000 people. I'm gonna go ahead, add one more five star review for myself. I would actually go get some Shady Rays. They're great sunglasses. Use code dad for 50% off.

[Dave]

Fish finders.

[Harry]

Fish finders. Exactly.

[Dave]

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[Francis Ellis]

What are you about to say, brother?

[Dave]

Nothing. I don't really have anything more to say on the podcast.

[Harry]

You're done?

[Dave]

Well, we. I'm just saying I ran out months ago.

[Harry]

Oh, okay.

[Dave]

So sometimes I'll just say, what's up?

[Harry]

Yeah, yeah, nothing wrong with that. I saw that dude from the Spurs.

[Dave]

Yeah, Luke Cornett.

[Harry]

Luke Cornett.

[Dave]

Another thing we were talking about before the episode. That should have been totally fine.

[Harry]

All good. All good.

[Dave]

But you spanked it out of there.

[Harry]

We. Yeah, I saw Luke Cornett yesterday and I.

[Francis Ellis]

What. What.

[Harry]

What is his name?

[Francis Ellis]

Lou Hornet.

[Harry]

Lou Hornet.

[Francis Ellis]

Lou Cornet.

[Harry]

Isn't that what I said?

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, he's just.

[Dave]

Just keep moving.

[Francis Ellis]

Just keep talking. I'm just.

[Dave]

He's messing around.

[Harry]

I guess I'll start over.

[Francis Ellis]

Let's go back to the serious conversation about how you can't fathom one inch of glass. Let's go do 15 more minutes on on you not being able to.

[Harry]

I'm gonna show up for the podcast next week with a glass box around my head. Hey, just taking the next step, you know?

[Dave]

Then you know what I'm going to do?

[Harry]

Stab me in the chest, Fill it with sand. No, no.

[Dave]

Farting it.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Shot like Steve O.

[Harry]

There's going to be no bottom. It's going to be. It's just going to be kind of surrounding the face.

[Francis Ellis]

Well, that. Then I'm going to shoot you from underneath your chin.

[Harry]

Good luck.

[Dave]

So Harry. Harry texts us yesterday. He goes, I think, like, I think I may have seen Luke Cornette on the street on 7th Avenue.

[Harry]

Well, I saw him yesterday before the podcast, but I never brought it up because I didn't want to be wrong.

[Dave]

So here's my point, right? Luke Cornett is 7 foot 3, and he was wearing spurs gear three blocks from the Garden. When they're playing them head to toe, there's no chance it's anyone else.

[Harry]

I didn't think he was on the Spurs.

[Dave]

There's no Luke Cornette impersonator.

[Harry]

I thought he was on the Celtics.

[Dave]

He. He was.

[Harry]

I know, I know. I thought he was still on the Celtics. I didn't know he was like, one of the top guys in the league.

[Dave]

It's kind of amazing, to be honest, that he has become actually a more important player on the spurs because he was very sparingly used on the Celtics.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, he was like a three point shooter on the. He like completely revamped his game due to injuries, but he's like the backup center. But I thought it was ballsy of him to be wearing spurs gear. I'm surprised he didn't have throngs of a mob chasing him down the street. It was.

[Harry]

Dude, the street was closed. It was literally me, him, and like, two other dudes that were with him.

[Francis Ellis]

How'd you get on the street?

[Harry]

I just walked through the barrier.

[Dave]

He was wearing spurs gear.

[Harry]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was right next to, like, the hotel that they must be staying in. And I was like, walking down the street and I was staring at him because he's seven feet tall, naturally, eyes are glued to him, and he was looking at me. And then I realized after he was looking at me because he thought I was gonna, like, say something because I was staring at him.

[Francis Ellis]

I wouldn't put a big cornet to know who you are.

[Harry]

No, no, no, not at all. The vibe was like.

[Francis Ellis]

The vibe knows you.

[Harry]

The vibe was like I was passing them and they were all looking at me like, here we go get the photos ready. Like, it looked like I was, like, a fan. That was gonna be like, hey, Luke,

[Dave]

can I get a photo instead? You're the guy who's gonna be like, you got. You really have a passing resemblance.

[Harry]

Yeah. Luke Cornet playing basketball.

[Dave]

You. You ever seen that center on the Celtics?

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Luke Cornett.

[Harry]

That's honestly how it kind of felt that way. And then I. And then I did the podcast, got on the train, looked up the spurs roster, and then I found him. And then I was like, oh, yeah, that was definitely him. I didn't even know it was Luke.

[Dave]

The spurs insignia on his chest. And, you know, like, I had a

[Harry]

feeling that they had something to do with the team.

[Dave]

You.

[Harry]

You.

[Dave]

So you're telling me you were like, golly, Celtic center Luke Cornett is a Spurs fan?

[Harry]

Yeah. I mean, I didn't go into the game. I just thought, there's no way that was Luke Cornett. Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. Did you see Wemby at the park sketching?

[Harry]

Yeah. That's a little performative for me. A little performative for my liking.

[Francis Ellis]

He's French.

[Harry]

Doesn't matter. Yeah, it does. He's a basketball player.

[Francis Ellis]

So what?

[Harry]

He's not sketching anything.

[Dave]

What was he sketching, you saying in Central Park?

[Francis Ellis]

There's a video of it.

[Harry]

I think he was in the cool ass over and over again. And like, cubes.

[Dave]

It's the equivalent of the drawing. Equivalent of LeBron reading the first page. Every Harry Potter book.

[Francis Ellis]

He was in Gramercy Park.

[Dave]

Yeah. Oh, wow. Oh, Gramercy Park. That makes sense, right? Because then you got to have a special key to get in there.

[Francis Ellis]

Like, that's nice. Why. Why is this. Why are you finding a way to hate on this?

[Dave]

I don't mind that.

[Harry]

I think it's performative.

[Francis Ellis]

Why they. Who is he performing for?

[Dave]

That's a private park, so you can't. He's. If he were in Central Park, I would say it was performative. But this park, he's seeking privacy.

[Francis Ellis]

You feel anybody having, like, any type

[Harry]

of hobby, privacy anywhere? I feel like once you're that height, privacy's out the window.

[Dave]

Pretty much, yeah. Yeah.

[Harry]

No one's gonna be like, oh, who's that nine foot guy walking?

[Dave]

You know who else's privacy's out the window? Is anyone else whose house he's walking by because he can quite literally see through their window.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

He's peering into the skylight on top of someone's roof.

[Dave]

He is a peeping Tom.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Every day.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

I mean, going into like a public bathroom. He's probably right over the stalls.

[Dave]

And not only that, but everyone's penis looks small because he's so far away from it.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

Like, if he pees at the urinal, his dick is higher than the divider. So if he. Then he has to go into the actual stall. And he's so much taller than the stall.

[Harry]

Got his arms up on like the sides of the.

[Francis Ellis]

At least he's good at basketball though. There's some of these guys that are that height. Huh.

[Harry]

Only if he gets this ring.

[Francis Ellis]

He's only good if he gets this ring. Didn't he drop 30 last night?

[Harry]

Doesn't matter unless you get the dub.

[Francis Ellis]

No, there's like, there's a guy from Florida named Oliver Ryu who's like seven, eight, and he just. He can barely move. Like, imagine being like that.

[Harry]

Well, will that happen to him? Like, will he get like, will he turn like 30 and he'll be like, I can't.

[Dave]

I think he benefits. This is just my theory from the fact that he's as lean as he is.

[Harry]

Oh, really?

[Dave]

Yeah, because he doesn't carry so much weight and then therefore his joints aren't. He moves better than anyone, any seven footer ever. Yeah.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Dave]

He's live.

[Harry]

It's pretty shocking. I just don't know how he hasn't got. I don't know how he hasn't got any. Got like injured.

[Dave]

Well, he's 22 and again, look at this. He's kind of.

[Francis Ellis]

I hope he doesn't.

[Dave]

But gay.

[Francis Ellis]

He's a bit gay.

[Dave]

He's a little bit.

[Francis Ellis]

He does drawing in the park.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

He could suck his own dick. Like that's a pure. I can suck my own dick move.

[Dave]

This is praying mantis behavior.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. What the hell? He's fly though. I'll give it to him. I hate in my heart.

[Dave]

I like Wemby.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, he's great for basketball.

[Dave]

He's good.

[Harry]

The Uber driver I had just kept on calling him the alien. He kept on being like that alien on the spurs.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

Smoking some tweed with the alien.

[Harry]

Yeah, the Uber driver was a little. Little much for my liking.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. I can't believe you were having a conversation with him now.

[Harry]

It got a little crazy. Started talking about like how he was going out with some girl who was pregnant and. Or no, she had. She just had a baby and he said he was sucking one of the titties while the. While the kid was sucking the other.

[Francis Ellis]

No, he didn't. No, he didn't.

[Harry]

I swear to God.

[Dave]

When was this?

[Harry]

Sunday.

[Francis Ellis]

What?

[Dave]

Where were you going?

[Harry]

I was. I had a rental car, and I was dropping it off and Ubering back to my apartment.

[Francis Ellis]

How long was the Uber? Like, how quick did he get to this?

[Harry]

12 minutes.

[Dave]

What?

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, he's talking about sucking titties within 12.

[Harry]

I mean, he was joking around. I was howling, laughing, screaming, laughing. Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

What nationality are we talking?

[Harry]

Definitely Hispanic of some sorts.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Yankees jersey.

[Francis Ellis]

The funniest. Yeah.

[Harry]

And then he. At the end, he was like, you gotta make. You gotta crack jokes, man. And I was like, amen.

[Dave]

He's giving you career advice.

[Harry]

Yeah. His jokes were funnier than mine by a lot, though.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. You're sketchy. You're, like, right in scribbling, sucking one titty while she sucks the other. This is gold. Keep going.

[Harry]

It was funny, too, because I couldn't really understand him fully. So, like, I'd get, like, every other word. That one I was able to fully understand. Hard to miss. Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

How'd you get him going? Or he just started ripping.

[Harry]

He just went. He was ready. Like, I got in the car immediately. He's like, are you from New York? And I said, yes. Not really. I kind of thought he meant, like, do I live in New York? And then we talked about the Knicks for, like, a couple minutes. I don't know anything about the Knicks. So I kind of was bullshitting my way through that. And then we started talking about titties, which I know a thing or two about. And we were able to get. We were able to get a good flow going after that.

[Dave]

Harry, have you ever. Have you ever smacked your penis against some titties?

[Harry]

No, that's not. That's tmi. Way too tmi. You took it to. Yes. You took it to another level.

[Dave]

I thought this was a titty conversation. Thought this was a titty.

[Harry]

I was. I was enjoying the conversation until now I'm screeching, halt.

[Dave]

Mission accomplished. Because it turns out you talking about titties made me uncomfortable and I didn't want to talk about them anymore.

[Harry]

Got the job done for sure.

[Dave]

Yeah. Put your bra back on, boy. Boy.

[Francis Ellis]

Oh, God.

[Dave]

Get those titties out of my conversation.

[Francis Ellis]

If Wemby had tits, he could smack his own dick against his own tits.

[Harry]

Definitely.

[Francis Ellis]

The way that he's pliable, I bet

[Harry]

he's got a tiny dick in comparison to the rest of his body. You know, I don't know.

[Francis Ellis]

I've always heard Shaq's dick is gargantuan,

[Harry]

but Shaq's kind of a little bit of a Different breed than Wemby.

[Francis Ellis]

What does that mean?

[Harry]

Shaq's a beast.

[Dave]

What the fuck?

[Harry]

Wemby is tall and skinny. Shaq is tall and jacked and massive.

[Dave]

Did you see Shaq rubbing Ernie's back yesterday? And his hand took up the entire back. Imagine being palmed by a person.

[Harry]

Palmed in the back.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

It's tough picking him up like a claw at the fucking county fair. The club. Yeah, it would be awesome if you were one of the. If. If you were a standup comic who's an Uber driver and you just ran your material on everybody that came in. I feel like that's such a good way to speedrun material.

[Harry]

I know.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Harry]

I felt like that's kind of what he was doing. But I. I always wonder, like, where do they get these stories, like, so quickly? Like, has he told that joke a thousand times? For sure, you think?

[Francis Ellis]

For sure, yeah.

[Harry]

It's probably not one that you're just testing out on a 10 minute drive.

[Francis Ellis]

He's like, I'm gonna play the hits.

[Harry]

He was playing the hits?

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. New York crowd. I want to go up. I want to get a laugh in the first minute. I don't want to do anything too risky.

[Harry]

Hooks us in with the Knicks, talk

[Francis Ellis]

something local, something topical, and then just

[Harry]

gets into the dirty stuff quickly, real quick.

[Francis Ellis]

That's. That's so nice. Francis. I'm going to Cafe Carmellini for lunch.

[Dave]

Funny you say that, because I was just thinking about asking. Bringing up restaurants.

[Francis Ellis]

Have you ever been there?

[Dave]

No, I haven't. What's that about? Oh, I've heard about it. It's quite good, right?

[Francis Ellis]

Close.

[Harry]

Why are you going for lunch?

[Francis Ellis]

A friend of mine. Taking a half day in town? No, coming right back to work after taking a long day. Actually, I have a six o' clock recording tonight.

[Barstool Sports Game Advertiser]

Oh, wow.

[Harry]

Really? Yeah. Great. I had a 10pm recording last night

[Francis Ellis]

of what Bush you think we should get. So we have five episodes to record in Chicago next week. You think we should get.

[Dave]

Holy.

[Francis Ellis]

Isn't that crazy? Two on Monday, one on Tuesday, two on Wednesday.

[Dave]

I'll let you boys fire up the old group chat with Foreplay, see if they're off anywhere.

[Harry]

Tag me in on that as well. Ron, you can handle those all five?

[Francis Ellis]

Because we have two for the week and then three. We have to bank for the week that for time that we're off for the 4th.

[Harry]

What are the dates that we're off for the 4th? I think we have the whole month of July this year.

[Francis Ellis]

I was gonna say Jerry and Mook as a guest for one of them.

[Dave]

Oh, yeah.

[Harry]

Why not?

[Francis Ellis]

Like a Bush. A Bush episode? Yeah.

[Harry]

Yeah, that would be great.

[Dave]

Let's do that.

[Francis Ellis]

Wouldn't that be nice?

[Dave]

Yeah, Lots to talk about.

[Harry]

We got a big meeting with Austin today right after this.

[Francis Ellis]

Why don't we do that on the son of a boy? Dad, Have Austin on too.

[Harry]

This is an off camera meeting. Gotta get angry.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, it's gonna be.

[Harry]

To get angry meetings.

[Dave]

Who's gonna get angry?

[Harry]

I think everyone at.

[Dave]

At him.

[Harry]

Well, it's kind of like us versus Austin. That's how it usually is.

[Dave]

Why?

[Harry]

Just not. Not seeing eye to eye on a couple things.

[Francis Ellis]

That's the way their bank account's set up.

[Dave]

He thinks that you guys are spending too much money.

[Harry]

No, no. He thinks, well, yes, and we think the opposite.

[Dave]

You think you're not spending enough?

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Dave]

What do you need? What would you do with more money?

[Harry]

Come on.

[Dave]

Better players.

[Harry]

No, no, we just really. We just need the money to like approve all the funding and everything for the majors.

[Francis Ellis]

We need the money to approve the funding.

[Harry]

There's a lot of ways that. There's a lot of things that it. I mean, I can talk about it a little bit, but I don't want to go too much into detail. But like, why not? Because the. It's an off camera meeting.

[Dave]

I thought there were no off camera meetings.

[Francis Ellis]

This is Barstool sports, bro. Nothing's off cam.

[Harry]

Well, pretty much the thing is, is we have to have a budget for every single tournament that the players are going to. And then on top of that, we have to get that budget approved by Austin. But they don't let. Barstool doesn't let. Like, we no longer handle the money from Bush. And there's a lot of revenue that comes in. Like, there's buyouts from players, there's tournament winnings. There's those two. Those are the two big ones. Pretty much.

[Dave]

That's it.

[Harry]

But like, so. And then obviously we have like ad deals. We have like, you know, like The Twitch subs, YouTube subscriptions, like all that.

[Dave]

What? What?

[Barstool Sports Game Advertiser]

What?

[Dave]

When you say buyouts for players, you're saying that like other teams will buy out the contracts of current players.

[Harry]

Like professional teams will buy out the contract of our players and pick them up.

[Dave]

How much are you getting for that?

[Harry]

Usually it's around 2500.

[Francis Ellis]

Oh.

[Harry]

Per guy.

[Dave]

Cool.

[Harry]

Which doesn't sound like a lot of money, but it is a lot of money because that's like two people's full way there and back.

[Dave]

Sure.

[Harry]

For the team. So it's more so just like, we got to get on the same page of, like, where this money's go, because, like, we're bringing in all the money. Hypothetically. If we were like, an independent organization and we weren't attached to barstool, like, all of that money would be used to fund the next trip. But, like, it's a weird gray area with barstool because we're paid salaries and stuff, so they don't want us to have the full access to that money.

[Dave]

You make it seem as if, you know, given total control over the budget, you guys would manage it better and everything you want to get done would get done. Is there enough money coming in that you could send everyone to majors and do all those things?

[Harry]

Yes.

[Dave]

You know that for a fact?

[Harry]

Yeah. Yeah. We have to do a full budget for every major, and I know how much money we bring.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, but that's with Barstool getting none of the money. Like, there's no cut for daddy Dave in that circumstance.

[Dave]

Well, the.

[Francis Ellis]

The daddy Dave needs his cut.

[Harry]

Well, they get the cut from all the ad revenue, like, from Kraken and Lucy.

[Francis Ellis]

A cut.

[Harry]

They get 100%.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, well, Daddy Dave needs to wet his beak on your too.

[Harry]

I just think, like, they, like, I don't care. We don't care about the money. Like, I don't care about. I'm not. I'm not looking to, like, I think, walk away with $2,000.

[Dave]

I know. I'm not saying you care that you. You get some. I'm saying you care where. How it's used.

[Harry]

Yeah. More so I just, like, I think we just want more freedom to. Just, like, we know what to do. We know how to book everything. We plan out the full budget. Like Mook does, like, a full spreadsheet of.

[Dave]

But isn't it the case that. I mean, all I've heard. And again, sorry for being such a.

[Harry]

No, I don't care hater.

[Dave]

I'm doing it to kind of clear up.

[Harry]

Yeah, I don't mind.

[Dave]

Is it. From what I've seen, the. The issue that has plagued you is that you guys never seem to adhere to your budget.

[Harry]

That was more so just the Birmingham one. The Birmingham one was a little bit of a disaster, but there were also the car crash. Yeah. Because the car crash. We rented two cars, which is a lot of money already, as, you know, for a week.

[Dave]

And you broke one of them.

[Harry]

Broke one of them.

[Dave]

On another car.

[Harry]

On another car. Which then, you know, of course, that adds up a little Bit. I actually don't think that that was that. I think that was like 300 bucks or something. But then we had to Uber 40 minutes both ways every single day for a week.

[Dave]

Because no one trusts.

[Harry]

No one wants you to buy a car. No, because the only other car we had Left was a 12 person van which we had crashed the SU or the sedan. So I think everyone was like, maybe we don't drive the van around now. So we ubered everywhere that added up. And then like. Yeah, I mean there were a couple other things that happened with the budget for that, but like for Atlanta, what

[Francis Ellis]

were the other things?

[Harry]

Nikki? Numbers. The flight situation. Jerry added him into the flight. Wasn't supposed to happen. We're. We're on to Cincinnati. We moved on from that. The, the. So yeah, I mean that's pretty much it. We went over budget with that, but it wasn't like we didn't go crazy over budget. Also, a lot of the stuff that we're paying for is coming out of pocket. Like I had to buy one of the coaches flights both ways. Didn't get expensed. So there's like other stuff like that.

[Dave]

You did it?

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Like we all split it with Jerry and.

[Harry]

No, because Jerry has to pay the guy salaries out of pocket.

[Dave]

Holy smokes.

[Harry]

Yeah, and like Mook bought the other coaches flight out of pocket.

[Dave]

Why are you guys doing this?

[Harry]

What do you mean?

[Dave]

I mean, just seem like you're funding it out of your own pocket.

[Harry]

That's the thing that we're trying to clear up is why are we funding it out of our own pocket when we're not getting any of the money and they're getting the ad revenue as well.

[Dave]

What's Austin gonna say to that?

[Harry]

He'll say like we'll shut it down or like that's not gonna happen.

[Dave]

He'll say either. Either you're paying it out of pocket or it's shut down.

[Harry]

He won't say it. Yeah, I mean that's very, very, very likely. Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

Well, you gotta. You have to do what he says. He's the boss.

[Harry]

Well, he's not my boss, but.

[Francis Ellis]

Oh yeah. Oh yeah, I guess he's not.

[Harry]

Well, that's why the meeting. I'm not like, we can, you know, me and Austin. It's not a big deal. It's a healthy conversation.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Are you nervous?

[Harry]

No, not at all. I don't think it's going to go well. I don't think we're going to get what we want. I told them, I told Jerry and Mooc last night I was like, look, there's either worry there. This is either going to go really well, or it's going to go exactly how we think it's going to go.

[Francis Ellis]

I know. Austin's going to enter the meeting with like a hooded cloak low over his head, with his fingers tented, and glide into the room.

[Harry]

Yeah, I mean, Austin, I don't even think knows what the meeting's for.

[Francis Ellis]

We called the meeting Content Austin. Yeah. Or Boss Austin, but this is Boss Austin. Got it.

[Harry]

So we'll see lots of stuff in the works.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, I can't wait. We got to have Jerry and Mooc on. Let's do them on Monday. Is that nice? Can we do some of the scheduling right now?

[Harry]

Sure.

[Francis Ellis]

Jerry and Mook on Monday. It won't be that. It won't be that bad to have some conversations with our friends.

[Dave]

No, I'm excited to talk to them. And we'll talk to Nick and kb. Hopefully.

[Francis Ellis]

Nick and kb. Maybe we could do them on Tuesday or. Or maybe I'm thinking two on Monday, one on Tuesday, two on Wednesday, and then you guys can fly home.

[Harry]

Fine with me.

[Dave]

Okay. You don't want to do two on Tuesday?

[Francis Ellis]

Two on Tuesday sounds great.

[Harry]

Why don't we do one on Monday, four on Tuesday, fly home?

[Dave]

Because that's never worked for us, ever.

[Harry]

Why? It's just six hours straight of potting. Why don't we all just a bunch of Adderall and we'll just run for six hours and we'll cut it up. Part six.

[Dave]

Pass the mic.

[Harry]

Yeah, there's.

[Dave]

Who's in now?

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, that. That sounds nice.

[Harry]

All righty, folks, let's talk about Rocket Money.

[Dave]

Rocket Money.

[Harry]

Rocket Money. Rocket Money can track subscriptions and has the ability to cancel unwanted ones within the app. With a few taps saving users over $800 million in canceled subscriptions. Rocket Money has automatic transaction categorization across accounts, plus customizable categories and tags to reveal spending patterns. You can set budgets and goals, get personalized insights and regular reports, and receive real time alerts for large transactions, upcoming bills, refunds, and low balances. Users who create a financial goal with Rocket money save over $70 on average within the first 30 days. The app consolidates checking, savings, loans, and investments into a single dashboard to give users a clear view of their financial picture. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. [e-mail] Boy, that's Rocketmoney.com Boy. Rocketmoney.com Boy, folks, summer is coming.

[Dave]

Some might even say that it's here. And I cannot wait for the amount of golf that I'm going to play. Sure, it's going to be hot. I'll probably have to wear sun sleeves. But guess what? Nothing tastes better at the turn after that hot front nine where you're not playing that well than an ice cold Mountain Dew. Oh, my God, I look forward to it. That can turn a day around real quick. Nothing goes better with summer golf, beach in whatever you're up to in the hot sun and hanging with your friends than the refreshing citrus kick of Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew is proudly born in the foothills of Tennessee. I did not know that. Enjoy the refreshing citrus kick of Mountain Dew, an American original. When was the last time you had a Mountain Dew? I think it's time you revisit it. You've probably forgotten how delicious that sweet, crisp, cold, bubbly, citrusy kick is. I love a Mountain Dew. Grab a Dew. Tasting great since 1948. What do you think about this, Harry? I was thinking about this on the way in. Do you think that there's a space for sort of like a liberal version of Tony Hinchcliffe guy who's like, just saying all kinds of unwoke stuff, but, like, at his core is a Democrat.

[Harry]

Like, it's weird because I feel like the. I feel like liberal, like super liberal people. Like, if we're being honest, would he get canceled?

[Dave]

Would that person get canceled by his own 100?

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, the Democrats, like, like Twitter account call Stephen Miller a faggot or something like that. Oh, it was like the official Twitter account. Can someone look that up? Who? I saw that, like, I think like the DNC like, account. I think that they're like. My point is that they're dipping their toe into like forbidden language to be like, hey, like, we can mix it up too. But like, the left does like so much like self policing and I think so much of like the political identity is if you are farther than me to the right, then you are a Nazi. You know, And I think that that's every. Everybody kind of identifies as that.

[Harry]

Yeah, I was gonna say, I feel like if you look at someone as, like, listen as you can go, at their core, those people aren't really funny.

[Francis Ellis]

Maybe it wasn't Stephen Miller. You know, it might have been someone else that they called a. But my. Yeah, I don't know. What. What is your. What. What made you Think that, like, why. Why Tony Hinchcliffe it from Kill Tony or from roast stuff?

[Dave]

Just. Just what he is and does. Is there a counterpart to that?

[Harry]

You're asking if there's a lib Tony out there.

[Dave]

Correct.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

Hassan piker.

[Dave]

Like a punk rock kind of like, damn the fuck it, you know? You can't tell me what to say. Like, start making really inappropriate, like, abortion jokes that are on the side of being pro choice.

[Harry]

Yeah, yeah, I guess that make. I guess I can see that.

[Dave]

Or. You know what I mean?

[Harry]

Yeah, like, instead of like.

[Dave]

Or like, calling homophobes Nazis, like, they're the enemy in a way where it's like. Like, if I see a homophobe on the street, I say we string them up.

[Harry]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, like, yeah, if I see

[Francis Ellis]

anyone intolerant on the street, I'm gonna kill them.

[Harry]

Yeah, No, I mean, I get what you're saying.

[Dave]

I. I think you try to tell me who I can't love, I'll kick the. Out of you.

[Harry]

You know, wins. Yeah. I mean, I think you're looking for.

[Dave]

There's a war right now.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Dave]

On who I'm allowed to love.

[Harry]

I think.

[Dave]

And I'm here to say I am ready. I want all this smoke.

[Harry]

The problem is, is, like, is there anyone that thinks that's funny, though, like, because, like, I get, like, kill Tony.

[Francis Ellis]

What?

[Harry]

I don't know.

[Dave]

We could call them war libs. War libs?

[Harry]

Yeah. Like, I could see, like, Mark Marin

[Dave]

maybe going, you know, Mark Marin's too righteous. This is my point. Like. Like, you can't. You can't.

[Harry]

Like you're looking for an offensive lib. Yeah, yeah. The thing is, though, the shit that, like, libs are. What would a lib. It.

[Dave]

It totally goes against what. What we know them to be. But there may. There may be. I'm wondering if there's a space to galvanize, like, pissed off lesbians.

[Francis Ellis]

There's a term that you're looking for,

[Dave]

you know, who are ready to. I'm sick and tired of the soft. Me and this army of women. Strong rugby women.

[Harry]

And then.

[Dave]

And then a bunch of, like, rock and roll gays.

[Harry]

I'm trying to think of that, like,

[Dave]

we're gonna march down the streets and. And call everyone retards.

[Harry]

It's kind of matt. Rife in a way.

[Francis Ellis]

In college, we used to call people homophobic and that kind of was like the. I think that that's what you're looking for.

[Harry]

Yeah, I mean, I think that works. I just don't Know what the. Like, how it could be funny.

[Dave]

You might. You also might limit your audience to an incredibly niche.

[Harry]

Like, the most. Like, the most niche group, you know?

[Dave]

I will say, though, right, so you're

[Harry]

looking for, like, the. The meme that's, like, the one friend that's too woke.

[Dave]

I don't even know, really. Like, I don't know. Exactly. I'm clearly imagining a mythical be. This does not exist.

[Harry]

I don't think you are. I think this does exist.

[Dave]

I will tell you.

[Harry]

So unfunny that people, like, they just don't take off.

[Dave]

You don't. You just laughed at everything I said.

[Harry]

Yeah, because you were saying it in a funny way.

[Dave]

Well, there you go.

[Harry]

But if you were serious doing those jokes on stage, I'll be like, what the fuck is this?

[Dave]

So maybe you think if I went on stage and I was like, I saw a homophobe the other day, you know, but if. And I said to myself, that guy clearly can't take a dick. I don't know. Something like, wrote an actual joke. I don't know what it.

[Harry]

What it was funny because it's. You saying it. If that was, like, a guy on. So maybe.

[Dave]

Why am I not the guy serious? Why. Why not? Why can't I.

[Harry]

Because you can't be the guy.

[Dave]

Move to Portland, Oregon, and be like, I'm opening a comedy show or a comedy club in Portland, Oregon. It's an unsafe space. Anything goes.

[Francis Ellis]

I think you could do it as

[Dave]

long as you don't hate on gay people or try to protect right to life. I mean, I. I don't know what it is. I don't know exactly what it is.

[Harry]

I don't think you can be the guy. I think it would be too obvious that, like, you're doing it as a joke. And to be like, you would be too obvious. Like, this is funny. Like, it would be like. It would actually be funny. I'm. We're talking, like, we need a guy who's up there, like, dead serious. And, like, those are his jokes. Like, his joke. The big punchline is like. Like, if you're homophobic, I'm gonna string you up.

[Dave]

I was pissing it. I was pissing at a USFC fight the other day, and I looked over the urinal and I was like, oh, boy. I can tell you, like, small government.

[Harry]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly.

[Dave]

Something like that.

[Harry]

Yeah. And then everyone's like, all right, yeah, that's it.

[Dave]

That's the end of it. It's not gonna work.

[Francis Ellis]

I think it could I think you might be the guy you were. Bowen Yang, I think is the guy.

[Dave]

No, no, no.

[Harry]

Because even Bowen Yang is like, like aware and funny. Like he has like the ability to like, we need a guy that's just not funny.

[Dave]

Yeah. The problem is I'm, I'm also just not liberal enough. I, I, I don't.

[Harry]

Not too li, not lib enough. Can't get into the character. Can't imagine that side.

[Dave]

Maybe. No. Maybe I'm a wild card. Maybe I'll spend half the year in Portland and half the year in Austin.

[Harry]

I like it. That I think has, that, I think you have potential to be a household name.

[Dave]

One night you never know what you're gonna get. It's, it's almost like a modern day Andy Kaufman. Yeah.

[Harry]

I think if you were to go and you were to be like, make yourself known as like, I'm the biggest panderer comedian on the planet. Like you go to Portland and you have blue hair on stage and you're like the, like you're just the biggest lib on the planet. And then you go to Texas and you're a full on racist.

[Dave]

My pronouns are bad.

[Francis Ellis]

And you.

[Harry]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because then you, you go everywhere. People are like, that Francis Ellis guy's great. And then, but footage would emerge that would, that's where you would run into

[Dave]

issues and they'd be like, that's not,

[Harry]

that's not what I, no, that was, that's not Francis.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Harry]

There's no, it couldn't be. Can't be.

[Francis Ellis]

But who, who cares though? If, if you, whoever shows up, if they know that they're going to get an affirming show, something that affirms their beliefs, then it could work.

[Dave]

Gotta be really nimble.

[Harry]

I think we could make a whole documentary about this.

[Dave]

That would be funny, actually. That would be funny.

[Harry]

A pandering.

[Dave]

Pandering.

[Harry]

Most extremes.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Harry]

And then like, like somehow reveal it to the people that are now fans that you've done this without them knowing.

[Dave]

Yeah. You'd have to. Yeah.

[Harry]

Like maybe one of the clubs puts up the wrong poster or something. You know, maybe when you go to Portland, they accidentally put up a poster of you with your cowboy hat on and it's like a big deal. Yeah. Like fans in Portland are outraged. This isn't the Francis we know.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. People will call you out for being a hypocrite. But like, I think that's, that's feeble. I think Colin tone. A hypocrite is like a feeble criticism.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

Everybody's hypocritical. Like when politicians start calling each other hypocrites or one side starts calling the other side hypocritical. Like. Yeah, of course.

[Harry]

Yeah. That's like, wouldn't. You've never gone back on your word.

[Dave]

Yeah. What?

[Harry]

You've never changed your mind.

[Francis Ellis]

And the, the defense to that is. Well, I have new information now.

[Harry]

Yeah, exactly.

[Francis Ellis]

I got new information.

[Harry]

Well, I didn't have the intel I had then that people from Texas like

[Francis Ellis]

this kind of thing.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

What was making you think this?

[Harry]

I think it's like people have brought it up before. Like, you know, everyone's always like, we need a left Rogan.

[Dave]

Yeah, fine. But like, you know, there are so many left leaning comedians and it tends to always follow a certain.

[Francis Ellis]

What about like, Stavros?

[Dave]

Yeah, yeah, he's a good one.

[Harry]

He's like left leaning, but he's also very funny and aware. Like, like, like not.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Like, it's not like preachy from him. Like, I think the biggest thing with like the lib comedian Stav has already

[Dave]

done it and he's way better than I am, so I give up on this.

[Harry]

No, but he's not pandering.

[Francis Ellis]

You could do it.

[Harry]

This is the big thing, is that you're pandering.

[Dave]

Right. Call it, call it the, the Frandering tour.

[Harry]

Yes, Frandaring.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. See, that's what we were looking.

[Harry]

And no one knows what it means until they get there.

[Dave]

Right. Like, where am I? Houston. You know, I saw the ice guys at the airport and I said, good job, boys.

[Harry]

Yeah, I love. That's a good opener.

[Dave]

Yeah. That's a.

[Harry]

Your standing ovation.

[Francis Ellis]

You have to be worried about the liberal pockets of cities like that though. Like, you might have to go an hour outside where it's real red blooded Americans, because Waco. Yeah. Cities like, cities like that do have like, like Birmingham, you know what I mean? Like Alabama, red state, Birmingham, blue city.

[Harry]

Yeah. I think this is like, I think the tour, like we could map out the full tour date one. Like, I think it's got to be on. It's got to be back and forth. So it's like number one, first date Portland date to Oxford, Mississippi.

[Dave]

You don't think we finish the lips and then go.

[Harry]

I think you have to fully transform yourself every night. Yeah. Become a new man.

[Dave]

Start wearing like, go. Go to the red states and wear like a fat suit.

[Harry]

Yeah. Full transformation. Yeah.

[Dave]

Tattoo, you know, Confederate flag tats, temporary.

[Harry]

I think you could go as far as using a different name on both

[Dave]

I'm Frank in the red states.

[Harry]

I think you announced two separate tours. Francis and Francois.

[Dave]

No, no. Frank in the red states. Francisco in the blue.

[Harry]

I love it. And you announce them at the exact same time, and it's just every other day. But, like, no sides are hurt because they only see, like, one of the tours. It's like Oxford, fucking Huntsville, Nashville, all these red cities. I don't even know if Nashville is a red city, but it probably isn't, but you know what I mean? You get what I'm saying?

[Dave]

Yeah, yeah. Houston.

[Francis Ellis]

Houston.

[Dave]

Dallas.

[Harry]

Dallas. And then the other side is San Diego. San Francisco, Portland. Seattle.

[Francis Ellis]

Yes, yes, I'm for this. You just would have to get two acts, that's all. And you just go back and forth with two acts and then sprinkle a little local shit at the beginning, just like any other show or.

[Dave]

And hear me out. I don't do any of this because it sounds utterly exhausting and probably not that lucrative.

[Harry]

Yeah. Now it's a pretty bad idea.

[Francis Ellis]

Extremely lucrative. Everybody eats.

[Harry]

Terrible idea. You.

[Dave]

I'm glad we flushed it all the way out.

[Harry]

I'm glad we saw it. We saw it through, you know, we saw the end of it.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Harry]

We saw what its full potential could look like.

[Dave]

Yeah. I think I'm ready to give up on the podcast. No, no, no.

[Harry]

Just in life.

[Dave]

This is y'.

[Harry]

All.

[Dave]

This is all I've got. My career. Yeah. I'm ready to be done.

[Harry]

You're hanging it up. What are you going to do instead?

[Francis Ellis]

Life coaching.

[Dave]

Read.

[Harry]

Not a bad idea. Get a course going.

[Dave]

I'm ready. I'm really enjoying this book I'm reading. Beau, if you're listening, this is for you. It's called the sun by someone.

[Francis Ellis]

Oh, God, that sounds good.

[Dave]

Richard Foster, maybe Rick. He also wrote American Rust, which I haven't read. This is about a kid who wrote the Sun, Nathan Foster. It's about a kid who gets. He's growing up on the frontier in, like, the 1850, and his family and his house gets, like, marauded by Comanches, and he gets taken as, like, a slave and then raised in the Comanche world.

[Harry]

Damn.

[Dave]

It's. But he's, like, pretty badass himself. So they see that he's worth not killing and, like, bringing into their fold. And I'm really enjoying it. It's awesome.

[Harry]

Wait, so he goes from being a slave to being, like, top guy?

[Dave]

They. I don't. I think he becomes a soldier. I haven't. I'm only 100 pages in, but, yeah, they like, and he doesn't really know his identity. He can't like decide because he's a white guy. But he's like riding around with the Comanches and killing white men.

[Francis Ellis]

12 years of Comanche.

[Harry]

A willing friend during.

[Dave]

Comanche. Yeah,

[Harry]

we call that friend during.

[Francis Ellis]

Do you think that if that was you, you would be. So you would like play the long game and like you would just get turned into a vicious killer and wind up like, like skinning the heads of the Comanche for what they did to your family or would you just be fully assimilated?

[Harry]

I think I would go full race trader immediately.

[Francis Ellis]

Get. But get Stockholm synthesis.

[Dave]

Yeah, same. I would. I would do anything I could to make them like not kill me.

[Francis Ellis]

The white devil has struck again.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Be one of the Comanches. Yeah. I mean, once you're. Once you're one of the guys, you're not turning on the pack.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. No, Once you're a savage.

[Dave]

Until the whites develop the like six shot pistol. Really turn the tides against the Comanches.

[Harry]

Now we're fucked.

[Dave]

And then I'd go over and be like, hey boys, bad news. They've been holding on to me for 14 years. I could never escape, but here I am. Yeah. I'll tell you their secrets now.

[Harry]

You. All you've got is fucking swords.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Harry]

And bow and arrows. They have to shoot the bullets out of the air.

[Dave]

This early scene in the book where they kill. They kill buffalo and they bring it back and they like, like cut open the stomach of the buffalo and there's curdled milk in the stomach of the buffalo. And the Comanches want him as a kid to drink it because that's what they do. And he knows they want him to do it because they think it will give him strength and he'll become valuable. So he goes to drink it, but it's like he forces himself to keep it down even though he's like throwing up in his own mouth. And it pleases them.

[Harry]

Them.

[Dave]

And then they like take out the intestine and like start eating it raw.

[Francis Ellis]

Oh.

[Dave]

And they like sprinkle from the bowels like the. The juice to season it.

[Harry]

I thought you're gonna say salt.

[Dave]

No, no. It's like eating blood.

[Harry]

Yeah. That's disgusting.

[Dave]

It's really tough.

[Harry]

I'm out on this book I was in. Now I'm out.

[Francis Ellis]

Nathan Foster. How did this honky get these ideas about the Comanche, I wonder? These. The mighty Comanche.

[Harry]

The Comanches came to him and spoke.

[Francis Ellis]

Tell them that we eat the blood.

[Harry]

Tell them we use blood as seasoning.

[Francis Ellis]

Tell them we use girdled milk.

[Dave]

His brother. His brother won't do it. They take his brother too. And his brother is this bookish guy who dreamt of going to Harvard, sort of.

[Harry]

Oh, no.

[Dave]

And he's. He won't do it. And they end up killing his brother. This is early in the book. And. And I was like, oh, that would have been me.

[Harry]

Yeah. Yeah. I'm not drinking this.

[Francis Ellis]

Do you have Perrier? Yeah.

[Harry]

No shot. I'm drinking that.

[Dave]

Do you have any idea how many parasites there are in the stomach of a bison?

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

I mean, that's disgusting.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. It's a good book, though, huh?

[Dave]

It's really good. Yeah. Enjoying it?

[Francis Ellis]

I love watching a flick about the. The mighty Comanche or some. Some Indian tribes. What was. There was like a Kevin Costner movie.

[Dave]

Dances with Wolves.

[Francis Ellis]

No, it was like a more recent one. I think that maybe he. I don't know if he directed it. Seven Samurai, but it. It details some.

[Dave]

The Rookie.

[Francis Ellis]

Oh, that's what it was. The Rookie. Where he had a. Oh, Field of

[Dave]

Dreams where they are fighting with a tribe over the corn horizon.

[Harry]

Tribe of the Corn Dreams is a banger.

[Francis Ellis]

I thought it was a banger.

[Dave]

Bull Durham. That was his. That was his Indian name. Yeah, I guess it was Sitting Bull Durham.

[Harry]

He does.

[Francis Ellis]

He's done a lot of movies, like about the old West.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

I thought this is a decent plane watch. It's not like a banger.

[Harry]

Three hours.

[Francis Ellis]

It's a plane watch.

[Harry]

6.63 hours.

[Dave]

I tried to watch movie crime 101 was not very good.

[Harry]

That sounds really bad. So right off the title, great cast.

[Dave]

Ruffalo Halle.

[Harry]

Really?

[Francis Ellis]

Keegan. Chris.

[Dave]

Chris. Chris is in it. Barry, unbelievable cast.

[Harry]

It is a good cast. I don't like that Barry Kogan guy, whatever his name is, though.

[Dave]

You don't like Barry Cohen?

[Harry]

Yeah, I think I don't like him at all.

[Dave]

Why is that?

[Harry]

I think Saltburn is one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Ever.

[Francis Ellis]

Well, because you're deeply homophobic.

[Harry]

Correct that and leave this. And Dunkirk was dog, too.

[Francis Ellis]

And you have penis envy because you saw Barry Keegan's.

[Harry]

I don't even remember seeing his penis.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, because you've wiped it from your memory. Like a woman who gives birth and doesn't realize how traumatic it was so she can give birth again.

[Harry]

I think Saltburn is like. If you were to trail down the downfall of society. I think it begins with Saltburn. I think that's the start part.

[Francis Ellis]

Just because he slurped come. This man can't slurp come without your stamp of approval.

[Harry]

No, they. I mean, they just stole the talented Mr. Ripley and just made it like a perverted gay movie.

[Dave]

That sounds pretty new.

[Harry]

No, because talented Mr. Ripley was already a perverted gay movie.

[Dave]

It was pretty gay, but it was like,

[Harry]

not. It wasn't really in your face, you know, Like, I don't mind a little gay Saltburn. I'm homophobic. Saltburn made me homophobic.

[Dave]

Huh?

[Harry]

That's strictly towards Barry Kogan or whatever.

[Francis Ellis]

Great time for your anti homophobic comic to. To emerge.

[Dave]

Yeah. Except that. Yeah, I'd be doing crowd work. I'd be like, like, look at this guy in the front row.

[Harry]

Looks like a homophobe that he didn't like. Saltburn, what do you do for a

[Dave]

living wearing shorts to a comedy show? I bet you work on a crab boat. Have you ever, ever seen a guy trying so hard to look straight?

[Francis Ellis]

He's.

[Harry]

You're just making fun of blue collar guys.

[Dave]

Yeah, Yeah. I guess there are sneakily blue collar, uneducated. What are the tropes of, like, the angry lib? I don't know who. Who dislikes, you know, you, You.

[Harry]

I think, like, it's automatic. Like, I think what you were, like, said about the south, like, people, super lib people think that the south is, like, incestuous.

[Dave]

That's a big one.

[Harry]

True.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

They think liberals are incestuous.

[Dave]

No, they think that the people that live in the south are always banging their siblings.

[Harry]

Yeah. Yeah. Which I think it's probably pretty uncommon. Probably close to nobody.

[Dave]

I don't know. I don't know how often that happens.

[Harry]

Definitely not as much as people think. Or maybe it's more. Maybe it's more than people think. Who knows?

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, well, now you're lowering the threshold of how much people think it's. Maybe it's more.

[Dave]

I knew from a very young age that I was not to have desire for my sister because we grew up in the Northeast, of course, where that was frowned upon. Yeah.

[Harry]

But I know a lot of people from the south that I think have also. They also know that

[Francis Ellis]

not. Not as many. They haven't. It hasn't come across their desk yet.

[Harry]

I don't think it has. I think it's made its way down to the South.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, yeah, you say that.

[Dave]

Not all parts. Not the bayou now.

[Harry]

I think it's made its way to the bayou.

[Dave]

The bayou doesn't even have ice. All right, I'm Talking about, like cubes, not the force. All right, wait a minute. No, wait a minute. Wait a second. We need a palate cleanser. We gotta end a little stronger than that. No, little something. Come on. What do you got? How's your diarrhea? How's that been?

[Harry]

My diarrhea is good. I've been taking good shits. Been eating a lot of fiber. Fiber gummies, too.

[Dave]

Okay.

[Harry]

Yeah, supplementing.

[Dave]

Good, good, good.

[Harry]

Feeling healthy, feeling strong.

[Dave]

What else?

[Harry]

Nothing.

[Dave]

You got nothing going on? Anything? Anything fun that you're looking forward to?

[Harry]

No, I mean, going fishing soon. Planned out the trip last night.

[Dave]

How long are you guys gonna go for?

[Harry]

I think three days, four days.

[Dave]

Yeah. This feels very familiar to the last time we talked about it.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, yesterday. Yeah, a day ago.

[Dave]

That was. Okay.

[Francis Ellis]

Well, you cooking anything good, Francis?

[Dave]

I made some cod last night. Oh, yeah, I made some good cod. Little fish and chips. No, no, I didn't.

[Harry]

And if you were to make fish and chips, you would probably use cod.

[Dave]

I would do. I would do.

[Francis Ellis]

I heard cod is one of the most nutrient dense fishes as far as protein and creatine content.

[Dave]

Dude, every time I go to the Monger and I get cod, I say, I want a pound. And they're like, okay, here's a pound. They always go a little over. It was 1.13 last night. I said, that's fine. Then I brought it home and I cooked 1.13 pounds of cod and thought, I'll eat half of this and then have the rest tomorrow. Yeah, sure didn't.

[Harry]

How much did you eat?

[Dave]

The whole 1.13 pounds.

[Harry]

Holy.

[Francis Ellis]

What sides did you have or sauces?

[Dave]

I marinated it in Dijon mustard, lemon, olive oil, paprika, a little bit of garlic. And then I put lemon slices over the top, put it in the top rack of the oven at 450 for about 10 minutes. And then I did some fresh parsley on top.

[Harry]

That sounds delicious. I mean, Todd's Light.

[Dave]

Yeah, I did. For sides, I did broccolini and I did some roasted carrots as well.

[Francis Ellis]

Well, you can't say cos light if it's over a pound of it.

[Harry]

I mean, how, like, how many plates would you say that was?

[Dave]

That's probably enough fish for about four people. Three to four people.

[Harry]

How long did it take you to eat?

[Dave]

15 minutes light. I put it away.

[Harry]

Dude, I think I could do it. I think I'm up for the test. Next video.

[Francis Ellis]

The Great Cod Off?

[Harry]

Yeah, the Great Cod Off.

[Francis Ellis]

Oh, like a cod Like Call of Duty?

[Dave]

I'm gonna bring COD to the

[Francis Ellis]

1v1 COD. And it's just you guys both eating a 1.13 pounds.

[Dave]

All right, who's ready to come in second place? This is my mom's recipe. Oh, why don't you put that keyboard away?

[Harry]

So I'm definitely down for that. The COD1V1.

[Dave]

Nice. All right, well, that was really funny.

[Harry]

I think we can end it on the COD one if you want. I think that's the big finale.

[Dave]

The COD at the cut off is really.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Really thought we found it. We were looking for something, and we found it.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Dave]

It's like when they're. Like when they run around to end the scene.

[Harry]

We found Viva. I want that on the main page.

[Dave]

Spot on.

[Harry]

Yep.

[Dave]

Yes. You'll have to send that to those people.

[Harry]

Yeah. All right, we'll see you guys next week. I will be in Wilmington, North Carolina, at the Dead Crow Comedy Club Room tomorrow. Or not tomorrow, Next week. Friday, Saturday, four shows. You can find the tickets on my Instagram or on the Dead Crow Comedy Club Room website. Thank you.