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Francis Ellis
Hey, Son of a boy. Dad. Listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.
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Dave
all right, all righty.
Harry
Welcome back to the Son of a Boy dad podcast. Today it is June 9th. The Knicks are bad and are losing.
Francis Ellis
Yeah, I saw Sass drop kick a Spurs fan in the chest at Bryant Park. I saw him jump off the top of a bus stop and rko.
Harry
I was in the first fan I got. I got out there last night. Took the train. In solo.
Francis Ellis
Yeah. And I just.
Harry
I wore a mask.
Francis Ellis
Yeah. Masked up like you were looting in the fucking riots.
Dave
You wore a Knicks jersey and beat someone up even though you're in a jersey.
Harry
I had an Uber driver that was telling me that he was going to the. He was going to sit outside of the stadium and watch and he was like, smoke a little tweed. Get outside the stadium. I was like, yeah, that sounds awful.
Francis Ellis
That sounds insane. Where can you even sit? It was impossible to get in.
Harry
I think people Just stand outside. Is. Do they have, like, a big screen outside of the arena?
Francis Ellis
No, last night it was like, all from 30th to 34th was completely blocked off. Like it was the inside of an airport.
Harry
But, like, people weren't there.
Francis Ellis
No, you had to go to Bryant park to watch outside.
Harry
Oh, really? That's lame.
Francis Ellis
And Mom, Donnie was like, make the streets run with their blood.
Harry
He said he called out the hit.
Francis Ellis
Yeah, he was like, don't let a Spurs fan walk in this city. Nixon 5.
Harry
Do you think if he tweeted something like that, he would be removed from office just immediately, you think?
Dave
No, I think he'd be celebrated if
Harry
he tweeted and was like, I don't want to see a Spurs fan on the street.
Francis Ellis
Yeah. They'd be like, bing bong, dickhead. We voted for the right one.
Harry
I think he would. That would be a massive issue.
Francis Ellis
They'd be like, let me get a chopped cheese with a fucking spurs fans dick on it.
Dave
We were talking before the episode started about the brawls, and things that have started have been broken out where it's just like 20 Knicks fans forcing some dweeby spurs fan to take their jersey off. Meanwhile, their face is covered in blood. And I don't know. I mean, obviously, that's just insane.
Harry
Yeah.
Dave
For so many reasons.
Harry
Yeah, I think it's crazy. I mean, I was listening to what you guys were saying before, but I feel like they're like. I feel like there's certain cities that are like that. Like, I don't think New York's the only city that, like, obviously like Philly.
Dave
No, but that's the identity there. So, people, again, it's like, you know what you're getting yourself into to a degree.
Francis Ellis
But if a Philly fan beats someone up for wearing the wrong jersey, or if they jump someone for wearing the wrong jersey, they're a loser, too. It's not like, oh, they get to pass because they're from Philly. No, you're also a loser. It's not like. It's like, some cities it's cool, and some cities it's not.
Dave
My thought was that where was this violent, protective, territorial energy from the Knicks fans for the last 50 years? You could waltz into the Garden wearing any team's opposing jersey until, what, like this year till last night, when all of a sudden it's like, we have to protect this fogging house.
Harry
I think that's the biggest issue, everyone with the Knicks and their fans is that there's so many bandwagon fans well, they're all.
Dave
Those are also just blue shirt wearing Wall street bros. Yeah. I mean, imagine decided to get excited for the first time.
Harry
Yeah. Imagine like just watching the Knicks, this, like, series for the first time and you're like, beating the fuck out of spurs fans. I was like, you should go to jail for that.
Dave
I was like. I said. I was like, what? Why? Where was this energy for the last 50 years? You're all of a sudden violent now because they're good. It should have been the opposite.
Harry
Yeah. Yeah.
Dave
Have been beating people up because that's all you had.
Harry
Yeah.
Dave
When they were bad.
Harry
Yeah.
Francis Ellis
Have you ever seen the initiation videos? Of course. They, like, have to beat someone up until they, like, list like 15 serials or some shit like that.
Harry
I just see the one where they yell and fight back.
Francis Ellis
It's like you have to like, name like 15 cartoon characters while they're beating you up. That should be the opposite for the Knicks fans. And like, you shouldn't be allowed to beat someone up unless you can name, like, players from the 2015 roster.
Dave
Yeah.
Francis Ellis
Have to have some ball knowledge to be able to whip ass in the streets.
Harry
Yeah. I mean, it is like, like, what are the, like, New York teams? I mean, I guess Yankees, Mets, Jets, Giants, Rangers.
Francis Ellis
No one's won since The Giants in 2011.
Dave
Yeah. What do you. What exercise are you doing? You're not.
Harry
I'm just like, trying to think of, like, if I, like. Last time I've seen so many people wearing, like yesterday, like, almost everyone on the street, or at least around here was wearing full Knicks gear.
Dave
Yeah.
Francis Ellis
Ugly colors too.
Harry
Really bad.
Dave
I don't really have a problem with that. I have. I have a problem with like, bandwagon violence.
Harry
Yeah. I mean, bandwagon violence.
Dave
That makes no sense to me.
Harry
It's just.
Dave
I mean, it's like also the spurs, like, they're not. This isn't some blood rivalry that's been percolating for 20 years.
Harry
Not at all. Their team got good, like this year.
Dave
Yeah. Recently, they just aren't. The Knicks, spurs rivalry, I mean, 99. They played each other. That. That was like, no one was.
Francis Ellis
None of these people were alive. It's 22 year olds beating people up.
Dave
It's also like. Yeah, the spurs are arguably the most respectable franchise in the NBA.
Harry
Yeah.
Dave
All those championships they won. Greg Popovich, probably the best coach ever. I don't know.
Harry
I know enough about.
Dave
Talk to me. Roan. Am I wrong about that?
Francis Ellis
Yeah, totally.
Dave
You couldn't hate those spurs teams because they were too fundamentally Sound.
Harry
Yeah. I mean, the only thing I see is, like, the Wemby thing last night. Like, I could see people getting mad about that.
Francis Ellis
It's not about the Spur. It's not about the Spurs. It's about.
Harry
Well, it's a little bit about the Spurs.
Francis Ellis
No, it's about the Nick. No matter who they play. It's not like if they're playing the Warriors.
Harry
I think if Wembie doesn't shove Brunson's head like that, I think maybe two Lesburs fans die last night, but there's still 300 deaths.
Francis Ellis
That's a drop in the bucket. These are bad. I just don't think that the violence should be directed towards human beings.
Harry
Now.
Francis Ellis
Flip a car like a normal fan base. Throw a fucking trash can through a fucking Smash Burger window. Like, go against, like, a corporate entity. Don't. Don't. Like.
Harry
I just feel like, also, like, a game three at home, losing by what, five in, like, the last seconds of the game? Like, I don't really feel like that's.
Francis Ellis
And you're up to one.
Harry
Yeah, I don't feel that's like a game where it's just like, I get, like, maybe, like, game seven or maybe they tie the series, like, last. Like. Like, people are. Like. I feel like people are kind of just going on with today. Like, yeah, that sucked. But, like, I can't imagine killing someone last night over that game. Like, that game. Like, you knew the Knicks were gonna lose the whole fourth quarter.
Francis Ellis
The last scene of, like, Gangs of New York, where it's like, there's a black man being strung up on 34th and 7th. Oh, another one on 22nd and 3rd. The police blotters just now. Does it change your guys calculus at all that, like, some of the people who were getting beat up were streamers that were there to troll.
Dave
Oh, that's not.
Francis Ellis
You get.
Dave
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that.
Harry
Yeah, that.
Dave
That's civic duty.
Harry
Yeah.
Francis Ellis
I still. I still think it's. You shouldn't beat them up. Like, just let someone troll and, like, beat them at trolling.
Harry
I mean, to be honest, you show
Dave
up doing that, you are literally asking to be beaten up. That's what they're there for.
Harry
They're looking to get.
Dave
Is that. How many of those people were that?
Harry
50 of the people there, I would say.
Francis Ellis
I did see a van of them coming up. I did see a van full of streamers. And they're like, are you ready for this? And one kid was like, I'm not scared in the front seat, but rubbing his hands together, which is like, clearly, when you rub your hands together, your hands are sweaty. And so, like, that's true. Pure nervous sign. Yeah.
Harry
I saw Sneako was there. Boo. And Trump, which was pretty funny.
Francis Ellis
Yeah. Because I'm pretty sure he was, like, the number one. He was, like, arguing on the streets with Rabbi Schmolly.
Harry
Yeah. Was it him or Adian Ross that, like, bought Trump the Tesla?
Francis Ellis
I don't know.
Harry
With, like, Trump's face on it.
Francis Ellis
Streamer. Gift giving culture is very funny.
Harry
Yeah.
Francis Ellis
You just have to give someone something. I saw Moses the Jeweler was pissed off.
Harry
Really?
Francis Ellis
Moses the Jeweler was furious. Did you see that?
Dave
Well, I saw him. Yeah, I saw. Yeah, that guy.
Francis Ellis
Moses the Jeweler. I don't know. I didn't realize Moses the Jeweler had come across your desk, Francis.
Dave
I see. I've seen that guy.
Harry
You're familiar.
Dave
I know Mo. I know Mo.
Francis Ellis
Yeah. Moses the Jeweler was there with Fano. And they're like, we're the only crazy Knicks fans. It's corporate now.
Harry
Yeah. I mean, the whole thing is. Is pretty crazy. I'm excited for game four. I wish it was tonight. I don't think they need the full. I hate the night off thing.
Francis Ellis
Really.
Harry
Especially in the NBA and NHL. I hate when they do that.
Dave
Well, they have to.
Harry
NBA.
Dave
Yes.
Francis Ellis
They're barely.
Harry
They're already recovered. They're already good. They woke up today, like, fully refreshed.
Dave
No, that game.
Francis Ellis
They're 21 years old.
Dave
These games are. These games are wars.
Harry
Yeah.
Dave
That game was very physical.
Harry
Bronson look cooked at the end of
Dave
the game, which is interesting because he probably played his fewest minutes of any playoff game so far this year due to his foul trouble.
Harry
Really? I don't pay it. I don't know what I'm talking about. So he looked tired.
Francis Ellis
Yeah.
Harry
I saw sweat on his face.
Dave
OG Looked very good. I was impressed with him. He's the only guy seemingly who can kind of get past Wemby and then protect by dunking. He's the only guy who just seems to find a way to, like, seal Wemby behind him and not worry about being blocked by.
Francis Ellis
Yeah. Sometimes you see that, you're like, why doesn't Wemby just go go Gadget arm. Try and block it from behind. But OG is that stout.
Dave
He's that strong.
Francis Ellis
Yeah, he's strong enough.
Dave
Just strength.
Harry
Strong as an ox.
Dave
Yeah.
Harry
Was he the one that hit the three at the end?
Francis Ellis
Yeah, in that corner. Three. That was sick. It was like I was for the last minute, I was like, the fucking Knicks are gonna do it again.
Harry
Oh, I thought they were gonna. I, like, the thing is, like, basketball, it's like, you know, like, I feel like it's so, like. Like they're gonna foul. Like, this is gonna happen. Like, it's. I know, but get to a point where you're like, they're not gonna win.
Dave
The replays were getting onerous. That was crazy. I thought the final quarter, I mean, it just took so long. It kind of really took some of the momentum out of watching it from home.
Harry
But is that what, like, I. I really have barely watched the NBA Finals. I watched the whole game last night, but I wasn't really. I wasn't fully locked in for the first half.
Francis Ellis
Is Timothy Chalamet wearing on anybody else a little bit?
Harry
No, I lost Timothy.
Francis Ellis
I get the feeling that if Timothee Chalamet wasn't famous, he would be hugging his overweight Mexican girlfriend from behind in line for a roller coaster at Six Flags.
Harry
I could see that, too.
Francis Ellis
Which makes him sound like a Spurs fan. Come on, baby. Yeah. Thanks for buying the tickets, baby.
Dave
Yeah.
Harry
I mean, I don't mind him. I don't. I don't. I mean, like, he was there all last year. He's been there all this year.
Dave
Well, he's been going his whole life.
Harry
Yeah, he bought.
Dave
He bought season tickets when he was a kid.
Harry
Oh, really?
Dave
In the nose paint and sold a bunch of them.
Harry
Oh, yeah. I mean, I don't have any issues with him. I mean, are they. Are they showing him, like, every. Every five seconds?
Francis Ellis
A lot. I mean, he is courtside. Yeah. But, yeah, he's probably.
Dave
He's probably the. The most famous actor on the planet right now. Wouldn't. Would you say. Would you say that he. Who's. Who's bigger than he is. Who's hotter than he is right now?
Harry
Like, in terms of, like, new up
Dave
and like, anybody in Hollywood who's hotter than he is?
Harry
Like, if you go, like, I think males only.
Dave
Sure.
Harry
I think if you were to go, like, I think, like, Leo and like, those guys.
Dave
Still more body of work. Yeah.
Harry
But I think he's definitely. I mean, like, in terms of, like, current, relevant actors, he's definitely the most.
Dave
I think because, you know, he's dating the Jenner.
Harry
True.
Dave
I forgot about that in Dune.
Harry
Yeah.
Dave
Which is the best.
Francis Ellis
And then, like, having.
Harry
But if you saw Leo.
Francis Ellis
Massive hits.
Harry
You're pausing the tv. Let's get a closer look at this. Like, he doesn't get out much.
Dave
He's a little bit more of an old man in the mountain mystic kind of guy. Doesn't appear as much.
Harry
Yeah. Maybe that's just me, though. Maybe I'm just a Leo guy. I saw Denzel was there.
Francis Ellis
I saw Jay Z was there.
Dave
That's, that's.
Harry
I thought he was in prison. Didn't he, like, rape a little boy?
Dave
Jay Z?
Harry
Yeah. You're thinking of Diddy. No, I think Jay Z got into some trouble too.
Francis Ellis
They were like, he's the goat, let him have one.
Harry
Yeah, true. I mean, like, the Knicks are in the finals. You're not going to deny Jay Z.
Francis Ellis
I saw that Trump got there via Air Force One, Chalamet showed up in a Lamborghini and Ben Stiller got there via the tunnels from Williamsburg.
Harry
I think that the reason. I bet if Trump didn't go to the game, I bet there would have been less violence last night. You make everyone wait in a four hour TSA line. That's how the people get angry. People get. People are fired up now, dude.
Francis Ellis
But I think most of the violence was at Bryant park for like the watch party.
Harry
They're probably pissed for their friends at the game. I saw Wemby getting screened in the tunnel of msg. Like he was going. He was boarding a flight at LaGuardia.
Francis Ellis
Yeah. A long ass wand. What?
Harry
They think Wemby was gonna be the guy to kill Trump? That would be crazy.
Dave
I could see they. Did you see the sort of glass that they erected around Trump's box?
Harry
Yeah, the bulletproof glass.
Francis Ellis
Yeah.
Harry
They booed him and then they muted it on the tv.
Dave
Sounded like that. Yeah. I don't think it was a great idea. I get why they did it. But to cut to Trump during the anthem.
Harry
Oh, yeah.
Dave
Is a conflicting moment there.
Francis Ellis
Did you see them?
Dave
Because the people were booing and I.
Harry
And it's like, yeah.
Dave
First of all, that anthem, that was the. One of the best national anthems I've ever heard sung. That guy's voice was beyond belief.
Harry
Oh, really?
Dave
Oh, my God, that guy.
Harry
I don't know if I.
Dave
It was unbelievable.
Harry
I was taking a knee sound like Seinfeld.
Dave
It was unbelievable. Yeah, he's incredible. Yeah. That guy was amazing. And imagine being that guy and you're killing it and then all of a sudden everyone's booing.
Francis Ellis
Yeah.
Harry
Yeah. I never even thought.
Dave
He probably doesn't know Trump's on the jumbotron.
Francis Ellis
What the. Did I just.
Dave
He's not looking up. He's like, oh, did I miss a word?
Harry
Yeah, he thinks, yeah, he definitely thought he butchered the out of it.
Francis Ellis
Yeah.
Harry
Added his own verse and vamping. I mean, that would throw me off.
Dave
So.
Harry
Doesn't matter where you're at in the song.
Dave
I know.
Harry
You start hearing 25,000 people booing. You're like, I must have done something bad.
Dave
Yeah.
Harry
Never. They're never booking me again.
Francis Ellis
They had Trump on a couch like this. They had him on like a three seater couch and there was like a dude sitting in the middle. Imagine being like, at least get two people on the couch. Three, like squeezing on a couch. Trump's have the President having to squeeze his balls at a finals game.
Harry
I saw his granddaughter was there. She looked like terrified when the booing was going on.
Dave
Yeah.
Francis Ellis
Kai.
Harry
Yeah.
Dave
People. My buddies in my group chat were like, have some respect for the anthem and the presidency. And I was like, what are you talking about? This is selective patriotism.
Harry
Yeah. It's also not the first time that this has happened.
Dave
No, it isn't. And you know, you're just fucking doing all the same shit that, like, both sides just decide to become, like, to
Harry
cite die hard patriots, patriotism when it
Dave
suits them that the other side has not.
Harry
How dare you boo when the flag has been raised.
Francis Ellis
Yeah.
Harry
It's like, what?
Francis Ellis
Yeah. How dare you exercise your freedom of speech.
Harry
Yeah. I mean, I just think Trump going to New York for the Knicks game three, like, what was. What were they expecting to happen?
Dave
Correct.
Harry
A massive applause. He could have been any of the presidents. They would have been booed.
Dave
Hates New York City.
Harry
Yeah. I don't understand.
Dave
Vilified New York.
Harry
Yeah.
Dave
And totally separated himself and called this place a fucking dump.
Harry
Yeah.
Francis Ellis
He.
Dave
I don't even know if I would say he's wrong.
Francis Ellis
It was funny when he was like,
Dave
fallen a bit to seed.
Francis Ellis
They're like, do you like basketball? He's like, it's fun. It's a bit left wing, but it's fun. I thought that was a good line by him, but I just can't believe that he didn't have a comfy seat. Like, they're building a custom box for you with bulletproof glass. You can't get a. A Lazy Boy. You can't get an ottoman underneath or like some. A massage chair or just going three wide on a couch is never comfortable.
Dave
Who was the guy he was sitting with?
Francis Ellis
I don't know.
Dave
Oh, was it James Dolan?
Francis Ellis
That was. That was the one in the middle.
Harry
I don't know.
Francis Ellis
I saw Bloomberg get smoked on the sideline.
Dave
Yeah.
Francis Ellis
Robert Kraft on the sideline.
Harry
Jeets with all the pedophiles are out. Yeah.
Francis Ellis
Jeter and Eli Manning. I didn't know they were pedophiles. That's crazy to see that. You have to be a pedophile, too.
Harry
Yeah, that was. That was going, like, a bad time.
Francis Ellis
Yeah. That looks so opposite. That looks opposite of Vibey.
Harry
That doesn't look like a good time at all.
Francis Ellis
Like, James Dolan is sitting in the middle seat on an airplane right there. Like, having to cross his arms. Can't use the armrest.
Dave
James Dolan's also been hated by New York people for so long, but maybe they're turning that around now that the Knicks are good again. Would you guys say, is. Is James Dolan still despised or have people come around on him?
Harry
I don't think, but I might. I might be wrong.
Francis Ellis
He hates barstool, too.
Harry
Yeah.
Francis Ellis
He, like, won't let people come to. Like, he wouldn't let. I think he wouldn't let, like, Glenny Balls on, like, the floor of some event or something like that.
Harry
I know that Dave said that when we had that big conversation about if he could sell out Madison Square Garden or not, he said that he wouldn't be allowed to do a show at Madison Square Garden regardless, Like, even if he could sell it out.
Dave
Dave said that?
Harry
Yeah. Because this guy wouldn't let him imagine. Yeah, because turning down, like, a full arena of people just because you don't like the guy.
Francis Ellis
Yeah. But he could just be like, I'll just put in Billy Joel for night.
Harry
Yeah, I guess that's true.
Dave
Yeah. We'll bring Harry Styles back for a little.
Harry
For 35 shows.
Francis Ellis
30. 35th show in a row. Do you. Where do you stand on that debate? Are you still. That Dave couldn't sell it out?
Harry
I don't. I don't speak on things like that anymore. It's beyond me. I would assume. I would say. I don't know. I don't know. It's tough now.
Francis Ellis
I actually never thought I'd see the day. You'd be so scared to speak your mind. Oh.
Harry
It was like. I don't really feel like re. Bringing up all that.
Francis Ellis
So you feel the same way?
Harry
No, I haven't thought about it in years.
Francis Ellis
Just asking you to think about it.
Harry
I'm trying, but I'm just having a hard time getting good. A good answer for you.
Francis Ellis
What do you think about that? Do you think that he could.
Dave
I don't have any comment either. I'm afraid of my own words.
Harry
What do you.
Francis Ellis
This.
Harry
If they're Putting bulletproof glass around Trump at the game. Maybe don't go to the game. Like, if they're. If you're at a. Like, if someone shot at Trump, it is msg. It would have been like a stampede of people. Like, it would have been chaos.
Dave
Well, help me out.
Harry
Never happened before.
Dave
Help me out here. When he goes to the UFC fights, does he sit behind bulletproof glass then?
Harry
I think he sits front row.
Dave
That's kind of what I thought. Can we look that up?
Francis Ellis
He does, or at least he has.
Harry
It might be.
Dave
So the presumption. The presumption then, is that you're. That an arena of UFC fans is just so unanimously friendly to the President and that Madison Square Garden is so against him that he has to protect his life. In one versus the other. They're still both 20,000 people.
Harry
Yeah. I mean, you could get a bad
Dave
egg in each place, I would think.
Harry
Yeah, Yeah. I mean, I totally agree. It's. It doesn't make any sense, but the, like, I guess the u. Like, this is more recent.
Dave
Yeah.
Harry
Assassination attempts.
Francis Ellis
Well, I also think that quotations. I think that in the. Like, the. Imagine if he was sitting in Michael Bloomberg seats and there was, like, a loose ball, and Jose Alvarado, like, shouldered Trump in the face going after a loose ball or something like that. Like, in the ufc, there's, like, a fence that you can't. It's not going to spill over to hit you. Yeah, but still, like, bulletproof glass is a different point.
Harry
Bulletproof glass. Like, if there's bulletproof glass, that means that they think that there is a possibility that someone is going to try to shoot Trump at the Garden, which, if that's the case, aren't you putting everyone that's at the Garden in danger by being there?
Francis Ellis
Nah.
Dave
The President should be able to go to a sporting event without his life being.
Harry
Yeah, but like.
Dave
Like, I just think it's, like, we should, theoretically.
Harry
No, I agree. I live in a country where you
Dave
can go to a game and not be like, I gotta kill the President today.
Harry
No, I completely agree.
Dave
I've got two tickets, but I was planning to just watch. But now that he's coming.
Francis Ellis
Yeah, I spent 10,000 on tickets.
Dave
I'm gonna build a 3D printed gun
Francis Ellis
and fucking smuggle a plastic gun in my.
Dave
Smuggle it up my asshole.
Harry
But that's the thing that I put
Dave
in the fucking bath. Bathroom.
Harry
Like, I just don't get, like, the bulletproof glass means, like, security thinks, hey, we were. We did our best, but it's. There's still a chance.
Francis Ellis
No, I think it's just like you, you, if, if something did happen, it would be like, well, why the. Wasn't he behind bulletproof glass? I think it's just like a fail safe type of. Like, you have to have the every measure covered or else you.
Harry
But like, look at where the bulletproof glass is. Like, this isn't. This is insinuating that someone is gonna take a shot with like, a rifle from, like, fort. Like, he's in the nosebleeds and the bulletproof glasses in front of him. So where are they shooting from? The other side of the nosebleeds?
Francis Ellis
I don't know.
Harry
Like this. I just think it's crazy. I think it's crazy to even have the bulletproof glass.
Francis Ellis
Well, I heard, I saw he was banging on it like a hockey game. Like,
Dave
they also had the glass when he went to the Ryder Cup.
Harry
Oh, yeah.
Dave
Again, that's New York to me. It's. It seems like, I don't know, like, they decide that they need to put.
Francis Ellis
I think enough people have tried to kill him that it's just like.
Dave
Well, yeah, my point is that they should have it everywhere. Well, I, I don't think he should be going to UFC fights. Fucking unglassed.
Harry
But that's the thing that I don't understand. Like, do you think that they're.
Francis Ellis
Do.
Harry
Do you think the glass is to, like, put fear in people? To be like, oh, look, when Trump's here, he needs the glass?
Dave
No, I don't think so. I think it's a correct and necessary precaution at this point. But I, but I don't. Entirely under my thought would be.
Harry
I think the correct, the correct move would just be, hey, watch the game from home. Let's watch. You don't watch the Knicks at all. You never been to the games. Let's watch from home.
Dave
There's a big press.
Harry
Rather than walking in with a fucking glass box around you.
Dave
Heads of state presidents going to Super Bowls and major events, of course, but he should be able to do that.
Harry
I don't know. I think the thing, I think you're
Francis Ellis
trying to lull the Secret Service to sleep. And no, you're like, there's no reason for anybody to be concerned. And then, bam. That's where sass steps in.
Harry
I think the glass is more of a statement than it is an actual, like, safety precaution.
Dave
It's not even bulletproof, honestly.
Harry
It could be like, it might just be like plexiglass candy glass.
Francis Ellis
Trump was probably for someone to hit it like a wrestling move and it just shatters like stone cold. Cold walking through.
Dave
I don't know. I, I, I, I don't, I don't really know what to make of it, to be honest with you.
Harry
Like, has there been any, like, shootings at the Garden before that?
Francis Ellis
It's just a public. You saw how violent it was outside.
Harry
But it's a four hour security line. And then going in and being inside
Dave
of a cage, dude, I think 20,000 people. It's pretty tough to be perfect in, in frisking and not letting someone slip through. Whether maybe, maybe they've acquired a MSG employee outfit.
Francis Ellis
Right.
Dave
And a fake mustache.
Harry
I mean that.
Francis Ellis
Have you considered the fake mustache?
Harry
No.
Francis Ellis
Because it seems like you're not.
Dave
Fake mustache off. And he's like, I'm part of the damn act. You fool. You fool.
Harry
I just think that this is an insane visual to look at.
Francis Ellis
Yeah. But you know who wishes they had some bulletproof glass? Fucking Abraham Lincoln. That, like this is, this is a prime Wilkes Booth situation.
Harry
But Abraham Lincoln didn't have the glass. Like he's mad enough to go to the play without the glass.
Dave
Yeah. Because we had to learn from a hard way that we need glass.
Harry
But they got like 20 other presidents after Abe, so clearly the glass doesn't matter.
Dave
Those didn't happen at a guy.
Francis Ellis
And they got three other ones after.
Harry
No glass.
Francis Ellis
Who was talking yesterday.
Harry
They're like, option for glass opted out.
Francis Ellis
Yeah.
Dave
You know, but that happened in Texas. Right. So he was a Democrat. Makes sense. Should have had glass.
Harry
What's he going to do? Drive down the street with a glass box over the car?
Francis Ellis
That's literally what the Pope does.
Dave
Correct.
Francis Ellis
Have you seen the Popemobile?
Dave
No.
Francis Ellis
Tyler, do us a solid show. The Pope Mobile.
Dave
Like if he's going to, if he went to a drag show in Boston, he doesn't need glass.
Harry
I guess. Yeah. Like that's pretty much what they should have for Trump.
Francis Ellis
Look at the front of the car. Why does it look like a souped up El Camino?
Harry
That's crazy. That's kind of sick, to be honest.
Francis Ellis
The bottom, the new ones with the Mercedes, that Vatican. I knew that the tithing money at the Catholic Church was going to something good. A nice G wagon for the Pope. Whited out G wagon.
Dave
That's unbelievable.
Harry
That's pretty sick.
Francis Ellis
Yeah. He's flexing in that bitch.
Harry
Like if Trump showed up in one of those, I would have a little bit more respect.
Francis Ellis
His shit is, I mean, instead of
Harry
just one thin Layer of glass in front of him. Shit's not going to stop a airsoft gun.
Dave
It's not going to stop.
Harry
Exactly.
Dave
Poke shot with a grenade.
Harry
Exactly. Have they not taken that? They haven't taken account for the possibility of grenades.
Dave
Grenades are. Yeah, Ralph Naders are not. Not gonna be stopped.
Francis Ellis
From the way the Knicks were shooting last night, though, nobody in New York was hitting Trump.
Harry
Yeah, it's true.
Francis Ellis
38% chance of hitting them. Damn bums.
Harry
All right, guys, quick question. How are my Shady Rays? Basically the same quality as $200 sunglasses I used to buy. This is actually the reason that I switched over to Shady Rays full time. And I'm not exaggerating. They feel every bit as premium as the expensive brands I've owned. Meanwhile, I'm wearing Shady Rays to the lake, on the boat, at the game, on the job site, because if I drop them in the ocean, they replace them.
Dave
You're gonna throw some Croakies on there, old boy?
Harry
Yeah, I mean, I'll probably throw some croakies on my Shady Rays. But guess what? Even if I don't throw some Croakies, say I forget my croakies. Maybe my croakies rip. Maybe someone snips the back of my croakies.
Dave
That sounds like something I'll do. I like that prank.
Harry
But you know what's going to be nice is that Shady Rays will replace them.
Dave
That's so generous.
Harry
And they're actually premium polarized lenses that cut glare hard. Super clear optics, durable frames with solid hinges. Clean, classic styles that look sharp without trying too hard. If you're outside on the water, in the sun, driving every day, you need shades that actually perform. Go to shadyrays.com grab a pair and get sunglasses with lost and broken protection. We've teamed up with Shady Rays to bring you an exclusive offer. Head to shadyrays.com and use code dad for 50% off. Two or more polarized sunglasses. 50% off? That's crazy.
Dave
That is crazy.
Harry
Try for yourself The Shades rated five stars by over 300,000 people. I'm gonna go ahead, add one more five star review for myself. I would actually go get some Shady Rays. They're great sunglasses. Use code dad for 50% off.
Dave
Fish finders.
Harry
Fish finders. Exactly.
Dave
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Francis Ellis
What are you about to say, brother?
Dave
Nothing. I don't really have anything more to say on the podcast.
Harry
You're done?
Dave
Well, we. I'm just saying I ran out months ago.
Harry
Oh, okay.
Dave
So sometimes I'll just say, what's up?
Harry
Yeah, yeah, nothing wrong with that. I saw that dude from the Spurs.
Dave
Yeah, Luke Cornett.
Harry
Luke Cornett.
Dave
Another thing we were talking about before the episode. That should have been totally fine.
Harry
All good. All good.
Dave
But you spanked it out of there.
Harry
We. Yeah, I saw Luke Cornett yesterday and I.
Francis Ellis
What. What.
Harry
What is his name?
Francis Ellis
Lou Hornet.
Harry
Lou Hornet.
Francis Ellis
Lou Cornet.
Harry
Isn't that what I said?
Francis Ellis
Yeah, he's just.
Dave
Just keep moving.
Francis Ellis
Just keep talking. I'm just.
Dave
He's messing around.
Harry
I guess I'll start over.
Francis Ellis
Let's go back to the serious conversation about how you can't fathom one inch of glass. Let's go do 15 more minutes on on you not being able to.
Harry
I'm gonna show up for the podcast next week with a glass box around my head. Hey, just taking the next step, you know?
Dave
Then you know what I'm going to do?
Harry
Stab me in the chest, Fill it with sand. No, no.
Dave
Farting it.
Francis Ellis
Yeah.
Dave
Shot like Steve O.
Harry
There's going to be no bottom. It's going to be. It's just going to be kind of surrounding the face.
Francis Ellis
Well, that. Then I'm going to shoot you from underneath your chin.
Harry
Good luck.
Dave
So Harry. Harry texts us yesterday. He goes, I think, like, I think I may have seen Luke Cornette on the street on 7th Avenue.
Harry
Well, I saw him yesterday before the podcast, but I never brought it up because I didn't want to be wrong.
Dave
So here's my point, right? Luke Cornett is 7 foot 3, and he was wearing spurs gear three blocks from the Garden. When they're playing them head to toe, there's no chance it's anyone else.
Harry
I didn't think he was on the Spurs.
Dave
There's no Luke Cornette impersonator.
Harry
I thought he was on the Celtics.
Dave
He. He was.
Harry
I know, I know. I thought he was still on the Celtics. I didn't know he was like, one of the top guys in the league.
Dave
It's kind of amazing, to be honest, that he has become actually a more important player on the spurs because he was very sparingly used on the Celtics.
Francis Ellis
Yeah, he was like a three point shooter on the. He like completely revamped his game due to injuries, but he's like the backup center. But I thought it was ballsy of him to be wearing spurs gear. I'm surprised he didn't have throngs of a mob chasing him down the street. It was.
Harry
Dude, the street was closed. It was literally me, him, and like, two other dudes that were with him.
Francis Ellis
How'd you get on the street?
Harry
I just walked through the barrier.
Dave
He was wearing spurs gear.
Harry
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was right next to, like, the hotel that they must be staying in. And I was like, walking down the street and I was staring at him because he's seven feet tall, naturally, eyes are glued to him, and he was looking at me. And then I realized after he was looking at me because he thought I was gonna, like, say something because I was staring at him.
Francis Ellis
I wouldn't put a big cornet to know who you are.
Harry
No, no, no, not at all. The vibe was like.
Francis Ellis
The vibe knows you.
Harry
The vibe was like I was passing them and they were all looking at me like, here we go get the photos ready. Like, it looked like I was, like, a fan. That was gonna be like, hey, Luke,
Dave
can I get a photo instead? You're the guy who's gonna be like, you got. You really have a passing resemblance.
Harry
Yeah. Luke Cornet playing basketball.
Dave
You. You ever seen that center on the Celtics?
Harry
Yeah.
Dave
Luke Cornett.
Harry
That's honestly how it kind of felt that way. And then I. And then I did the podcast, got on the train, looked up the spurs roster, and then I found him. And then I was like, oh, yeah, that was definitely him. I didn't even know it was Luke.
Dave
The spurs insignia on his chest. And, you know, like, I had a
Harry
feeling that they had something to do with the team.
Dave
You.
Harry
You.
Dave
So you're telling me you were like, golly, Celtic center Luke Cornett is a Spurs fan?
Harry
Yeah. I mean, I didn't go into the game. I just thought, there's no way that was Luke Cornett. Yeah.
Francis Ellis
Yeah. Did you see Wemby at the park sketching?
Harry
Yeah. That's a little performative for me. A little performative for my liking.
Francis Ellis
He's French.
Harry
Doesn't matter. Yeah, it does. He's a basketball player.
Francis Ellis
So what?
Harry
He's not sketching anything.
Dave
What was he sketching, you saying in Central Park?
Francis Ellis
There's a video of it.
Harry
I think he was in the cool ass over and over again. And like, cubes.
Dave
It's the equivalent of the drawing. Equivalent of LeBron reading the first page. Every Harry Potter book.
Francis Ellis
He was in Gramercy Park.
Dave
Yeah. Oh, wow. Oh, Gramercy Park. That makes sense, right? Because then you got to have a special key to get in there.
Francis Ellis
Like, that's nice. Why. Why is this. Why are you finding a way to hate on this?
Dave
I don't mind that.
Harry
I think it's performative.
Francis Ellis
Why they. Who is he performing for?
Dave
That's a private park, so you can't. He's. If he were in Central Park, I would say it was performative. But this park, he's seeking privacy.
Francis Ellis
You feel anybody having, like, any type
Harry
of hobby, privacy anywhere? I feel like once you're that height, privacy's out the window.
Dave
Pretty much, yeah. Yeah.
Harry
No one's gonna be like, oh, who's that nine foot guy walking?
Dave
You know who else's privacy's out the window? Is anyone else whose house he's walking by because he can quite literally see through their window.
Harry
Yeah.
Francis Ellis
He's peering into the skylight on top of someone's roof.
Dave
He is a peeping Tom.
Harry
Yeah.
Dave
Every day.
Francis Ellis
Yeah.
Harry
I mean, going into like a public bathroom. He's probably right over the stalls.
Dave
And not only that, but everyone's penis looks small because he's so far away from it.
Harry
Yeah.
Francis Ellis
Like, if he pees at the urinal, his dick is higher than the divider. So if he. Then he has to go into the actual stall. And he's so much taller than the stall.
Harry
Got his arms up on like the sides of the.
Francis Ellis
At least he's good at basketball though. There's some of these guys that are that height. Huh.
Harry
Only if he gets this ring.
Francis Ellis
He's only good if he gets this ring. Didn't he drop 30 last night?
Harry
Doesn't matter unless you get the dub.
Francis Ellis
No, there's like, there's a guy from Florida named Oliver Ryu who's like seven, eight, and he just. He can barely move. Like, imagine being like that.
Harry
Well, will that happen to him? Like, will he get like, will he turn like 30 and he'll be like, I can't.
Dave
I think he benefits. This is just my theory from the fact that he's as lean as he is.
Harry
Oh, really?
Dave
Yeah, because he doesn't carry so much weight and then therefore his joints aren't. He moves better than anyone, any seven footer ever. Yeah.
Harry
Yeah.
Dave
He's live.
Harry
It's pretty shocking. I just don't know how he hasn't got. I don't know how he hasn't got any. Got like injured.
Dave
Well, he's 22 and again, look at this. He's kind of.
Francis Ellis
I hope he doesn't.
Dave
But gay.
Francis Ellis
He's a bit gay.
Dave
He's a little bit.
Francis Ellis
He does drawing in the park.
Dave
Yeah.
Francis Ellis
He could suck his own dick. Like that's a pure. I can suck my own dick move.
Dave
This is praying mantis behavior.
Francis Ellis
Yeah. What the hell? He's fly though. I'll give it to him. I hate in my heart.
Dave
I like Wemby.
Francis Ellis
Yeah, he's great for basketball.
Dave
He's good.
Harry
The Uber driver I had just kept on calling him the alien. He kept on being like that alien on the spurs.
Dave
Yeah.
Francis Ellis
Smoking some tweed with the alien.
Harry
Yeah, the Uber driver was a little. Little much for my liking.
Francis Ellis
Yeah. I can't believe you were having a conversation with him now.
Harry
It got a little crazy. Started talking about like how he was going out with some girl who was pregnant and. Or no, she had. She just had a baby and he said he was sucking one of the titties while the. While the kid was sucking the other.
Francis Ellis
No, he didn't. No, he didn't.
Harry
I swear to God.
Dave
When was this?
Harry
Sunday.
Francis Ellis
What?
Dave
Where were you going?
Harry
I was. I had a rental car, and I was dropping it off and Ubering back to my apartment.
Francis Ellis
How long was the Uber? Like, how quick did he get to this?
Harry
12 minutes.
Dave
What?
Francis Ellis
Yeah, he's talking about sucking titties within 12.
Harry
I mean, he was joking around. I was howling, laughing, screaming, laughing. Yeah.
Francis Ellis
What nationality are we talking?
Harry
Definitely Hispanic of some sorts.
Francis Ellis
Yeah.
Harry
Yankees jersey.
Francis Ellis
The funniest. Yeah.
Harry
And then he. At the end, he was like, you gotta make. You gotta crack jokes, man. And I was like, amen.
Dave
He's giving you career advice.
Harry
Yeah. His jokes were funnier than mine by a lot, though.
Francis Ellis
Yeah. You're sketchy. You're, like, right in scribbling, sucking one titty while she sucks the other. This is gold. Keep going.
Harry
It was funny, too, because I couldn't really understand him fully. So, like, I'd get, like, every other word. That one I was able to fully understand. Hard to miss. Yeah.
Francis Ellis
How'd you get him going? Or he just started ripping.
Harry
He just went. He was ready. Like, I got in the car immediately. He's like, are you from New York? And I said, yes. Not really. I kind of thought he meant, like, do I live in New York? And then we talked about the Knicks for, like, a couple minutes. I don't know anything about the Knicks. So I kind of was bullshitting my way through that. And then we started talking about titties, which I know a thing or two about. And we were able to get. We were able to get a good flow going after that.
Dave
Harry, have you ever. Have you ever smacked your penis against some titties?
Harry
No, that's not. That's tmi. Way too tmi. You took it to. Yes. You took it to another level.
Dave
I thought this was a titty conversation. Thought this was a titty.
Harry
I was. I was enjoying the conversation until now I'm screeching, halt.
Dave
Mission accomplished. Because it turns out you talking about titties made me uncomfortable and I didn't want to talk about them anymore.
Harry
Got the job done for sure.
Dave
Yeah. Put your bra back on, boy. Boy.
Francis Ellis
Oh, God.
Dave
Get those titties out of my conversation.
Francis Ellis
If Wemby had tits, he could smack his own dick against his own tits.
Harry
Definitely.
Francis Ellis
The way that he's pliable, I bet
Harry
he's got a tiny dick in comparison to the rest of his body. You know, I don't know.
Francis Ellis
I've always heard Shaq's dick is gargantuan,
Harry
but Shaq's kind of a little bit of a Different breed than Wemby.
Francis Ellis
What does that mean?
Harry
Shaq's a beast.
Dave
What the fuck?
Harry
Wemby is tall and skinny. Shaq is tall and jacked and massive.
Dave
Did you see Shaq rubbing Ernie's back yesterday? And his hand took up the entire back. Imagine being palmed by a person.
Harry
Palmed in the back.
Dave
Yeah.
Harry
Yeah.
Francis Ellis
It's tough picking him up like a claw at the fucking county fair. The club. Yeah, it would be awesome if you were one of the. If. If you were a standup comic who's an Uber driver and you just ran your material on everybody that came in. I feel like that's such a good way to speedrun material.
Harry
I know.
Dave
Yeah.
Harry
I felt like that's kind of what he was doing. But I. I always wonder, like, where do they get these stories, like, so quickly? Like, has he told that joke a thousand times? For sure, you think?
Francis Ellis
For sure, yeah.
Harry
It's probably not one that you're just testing out on a 10 minute drive.
Francis Ellis
He's like, I'm gonna play the hits.
Harry
He was playing the hits?
Francis Ellis
Yeah. New York crowd. I want to go up. I want to get a laugh in the first minute. I don't want to do anything too risky.
Harry
Hooks us in with the Knicks, talk
Francis Ellis
something local, something topical, and then just
Harry
gets into the dirty stuff quickly, real quick.
Francis Ellis
That's. That's so nice. Francis. I'm going to Cafe Carmellini for lunch.
Dave
Funny you say that, because I was just thinking about asking. Bringing up restaurants.
Francis Ellis
Have you ever been there?
Dave
No, I haven't. What's that about? Oh, I've heard about it. It's quite good, right?
Francis Ellis
Close.
Harry
Why are you going for lunch?
Francis Ellis
A friend of mine. Taking a half day in town? No, coming right back to work after taking a long day. Actually, I have a six o' clock recording tonight.
Barstool Sports Game Advertiser
Oh, wow.
Harry
Really? Yeah. Great. I had a 10pm recording last night
Francis Ellis
of what Bush you think we should get. So we have five episodes to record in Chicago next week. You think we should get.
Dave
Holy.
Francis Ellis
Isn't that crazy? Two on Monday, one on Tuesday, two on Wednesday.
Dave
I'll let you boys fire up the old group chat with Foreplay, see if they're off anywhere.
Harry
Tag me in on that as well. Ron, you can handle those all five?
Francis Ellis
Because we have two for the week and then three. We have to bank for the week that for time that we're off for the 4th.
Harry
What are the dates that we're off for the 4th? I think we have the whole month of July this year.
Francis Ellis
I was gonna say Jerry and Mook as a guest for one of them.
Dave
Oh, yeah.
Harry
Why not?
Francis Ellis
Like a Bush. A Bush episode? Yeah.
Harry
Yeah, that would be great.
Dave
Let's do that.
Francis Ellis
Wouldn't that be nice?
Dave
Yeah, Lots to talk about.
Harry
We got a big meeting with Austin today right after this.
Francis Ellis
Why don't we do that on the son of a boy? Dad, Have Austin on too.
Harry
This is an off camera meeting. Gotta get angry.
Francis Ellis
Yeah, it's gonna be.
Harry
To get angry meetings.
Dave
Who's gonna get angry?
Harry
I think everyone at.
Dave
At him.
Harry
Well, it's kind of like us versus Austin. That's how it usually is.
Dave
Why?
Harry
Just not. Not seeing eye to eye on a couple things.
Francis Ellis
That's the way their bank account's set up.
Dave
He thinks that you guys are spending too much money.
Harry
No, no. He thinks, well, yes, and we think the opposite.
Dave
You think you're not spending enough?
Harry
Yeah.
Dave
What do you need? What would you do with more money?
Harry
Come on.
Dave
Better players.
Harry
No, no, we just really. We just need the money to like approve all the funding and everything for the majors.
Francis Ellis
We need the money to approve the funding.
Harry
There's a lot of ways that. There's a lot of things that it. I mean, I can talk about it a little bit, but I don't want to go too much into detail. But like, why not? Because the. It's an off camera meeting.
Dave
I thought there were no off camera meetings.
Francis Ellis
This is Barstool sports, bro. Nothing's off cam.
Harry
Well, pretty much the thing is, is we have to have a budget for every single tournament that the players are going to. And then on top of that, we have to get that budget approved by Austin. But they don't let. Barstool doesn't let. Like, we no longer handle the money from Bush. And there's a lot of revenue that comes in. Like, there's buyouts from players, there's tournament winnings. There's those two. Those are the two big ones. Pretty much.
Dave
That's it.
Harry
But like, so. And then obviously we have like ad deals. We have like, you know, like The Twitch subs, YouTube subscriptions, like all that.
Dave
What? What?
Barstool Sports Game Advertiser
What?
Dave
When you say buyouts for players, you're saying that like other teams will buy out the contracts of current players.
Harry
Like professional teams will buy out the contract of our players and pick them up.
Dave
How much are you getting for that?
Harry
Usually it's around 2500.
Francis Ellis
Oh.
Harry
Per guy.
Dave
Cool.
Harry
Which doesn't sound like a lot of money, but it is a lot of money because that's like two people's full way there and back.
Dave
Sure.
Harry
For the team. So it's more so just like, we got to get on the same page of, like, where this money's go, because, like, we're bringing in all the money. Hypothetically. If we were like, an independent organization and we weren't attached to barstool, like, all of that money would be used to fund the next trip. But, like, it's a weird gray area with barstool because we're paid salaries and stuff, so they don't want us to have the full access to that money.
Dave
You make it seem as if, you know, given total control over the budget, you guys would manage it better and everything you want to get done would get done. Is there enough money coming in that you could send everyone to majors and do all those things?
Harry
Yes.
Dave
You know that for a fact?
Harry
Yeah. Yeah. We have to do a full budget for every major, and I know how much money we bring.
Francis Ellis
Yeah, but that's with Barstool getting none of the money. Like, there's no cut for daddy Dave in that circumstance.
Dave
Well, the.
Francis Ellis
The daddy Dave needs his cut.
Harry
Well, they get the cut from all the ad revenue, like, from Kraken and Lucy.
Francis Ellis
A cut.
Harry
They get 100%.
Francis Ellis
Yeah, well, Daddy Dave needs to wet his beak on your too.
Harry
I just think, like, they, like, I don't care. We don't care about the money. Like, I don't care about. I'm not. I'm not looking to, like, I think, walk away with $2,000.
Dave
I know. I'm not saying you care that you. You get some. I'm saying you care where. How it's used.
Harry
Yeah. More so I just, like, I think we just want more freedom to. Just, like, we know what to do. We know how to book everything. We plan out the full budget. Like Mook does, like, a full spreadsheet of.
Dave
But isn't it the case that. I mean, all I've heard. And again, sorry for being such a.
Harry
No, I don't care hater.
Dave
I'm doing it to kind of clear up.
Harry
Yeah, I don't mind.
Dave
Is it. From what I've seen, the. The issue that has plagued you is that you guys never seem to adhere to your budget.
Harry
That was more so just the Birmingham one. The Birmingham one was a little bit of a disaster, but there were also the car crash. Yeah. Because the car crash. We rented two cars, which is a lot of money already, as, you know, for a week.
Dave
And you broke one of them.
Harry
Broke one of them.
Dave
On another car.
Harry
On another car. Which then, you know, of course, that adds up a little Bit. I actually don't think that that was that. I think that was like 300 bucks or something. But then we had to Uber 40 minutes both ways every single day for a week.
Dave
Because no one trusts.
Harry
No one wants you to buy a car. No, because the only other car we had Left was a 12 person van which we had crashed the SU or the sedan. So I think everyone was like, maybe we don't drive the van around now. So we ubered everywhere that added up. And then like. Yeah, I mean there were a couple other things that happened with the budget for that, but like for Atlanta, what
Francis Ellis
were the other things?
Harry
Nikki? Numbers. The flight situation. Jerry added him into the flight. Wasn't supposed to happen. We're. We're on to Cincinnati. We moved on from that. The, the. So yeah, I mean that's pretty much it. We went over budget with that, but it wasn't like we didn't go crazy over budget. Also, a lot of the stuff that we're paying for is coming out of pocket. Like I had to buy one of the coaches flights both ways. Didn't get expensed. So there's like other stuff like that.
Dave
You did it?
Harry
Yeah.
Dave
Like we all split it with Jerry and.
Harry
No, because Jerry has to pay the guy salaries out of pocket.
Dave
Holy smokes.
Harry
Yeah, and like Mook bought the other coaches flight out of pocket.
Dave
Why are you guys doing this?
Harry
What do you mean?
Dave
I mean, just seem like you're funding it out of your own pocket.
Harry
That's the thing that we're trying to clear up is why are we funding it out of our own pocket when we're not getting any of the money and they're getting the ad revenue as well.
Dave
What's Austin gonna say to that?
Harry
He'll say like we'll shut it down or like that's not gonna happen.
Dave
He'll say either. Either you're paying it out of pocket or it's shut down.
Harry
He won't say it. Yeah, I mean that's very, very, very likely. Yeah.
Francis Ellis
Well, you gotta. You have to do what he says. He's the boss.
Harry
Well, he's not my boss, but.
Francis Ellis
Oh yeah. Oh yeah, I guess he's not.
Harry
Well, that's why the meeting. I'm not like, we can, you know, me and Austin. It's not a big deal. It's a healthy conversation.
Francis Ellis
Yeah.
Dave
Are you nervous?
Harry
No, not at all. I don't think it's going to go well. I don't think we're going to get what we want. I told them, I told Jerry and Mooc last night I was like, look, there's either worry there. This is either going to go really well, or it's going to go exactly how we think it's going to go.
Francis Ellis
I know. Austin's going to enter the meeting with like a hooded cloak low over his head, with his fingers tented, and glide into the room.
Harry
Yeah, I mean, Austin, I don't even think knows what the meeting's for.
Francis Ellis
We called the meeting Content Austin. Yeah. Or Boss Austin, but this is Boss Austin. Got it.
Harry
So we'll see lots of stuff in the works.
Francis Ellis
Yeah, I can't wait. We got to have Jerry and Mooc on. Let's do them on Monday. Is that nice? Can we do some of the scheduling right now?
Harry
Sure.
Francis Ellis
Jerry and Mook on Monday. It won't be that. It won't be that bad to have some conversations with our friends.
Dave
No, I'm excited to talk to them. And we'll talk to Nick and kb. Hopefully.
Francis Ellis
Nick and kb. Maybe we could do them on Tuesday or. Or maybe I'm thinking two on Monday, one on Tuesday, two on Wednesday, and then you guys can fly home.
Harry
Fine with me.
Dave
Okay. You don't want to do two on Tuesday?
Francis Ellis
Two on Tuesday sounds great.
Harry
Why don't we do one on Monday, four on Tuesday, fly home?
Dave
Because that's never worked for us, ever.
Harry
Why? It's just six hours straight of potting. Why don't we all just a bunch of Adderall and we'll just run for six hours and we'll cut it up. Part six.
Dave
Pass the mic.
Harry
Yeah, there's.
Dave
Who's in now?
Francis Ellis
Yeah, that. That sounds nice.
Harry
All righty, folks, let's talk about Rocket Money.
Dave
Rocket Money.
Harry
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Dave
Some might even say that it's here. And I cannot wait for the amount of golf that I'm going to play. Sure, it's going to be hot. I'll probably have to wear sun sleeves. But guess what? Nothing tastes better at the turn after that hot front nine where you're not playing that well than an ice cold Mountain Dew. Oh, my God, I look forward to it. That can turn a day around real quick. Nothing goes better with summer golf, beach in whatever you're up to in the hot sun and hanging with your friends than the refreshing citrus kick of Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew is proudly born in the foothills of Tennessee. I did not know that. Enjoy the refreshing citrus kick of Mountain Dew, an American original. When was the last time you had a Mountain Dew? I think it's time you revisit it. You've probably forgotten how delicious that sweet, crisp, cold, bubbly, citrusy kick is. I love a Mountain Dew. Grab a Dew. Tasting great since 1948. What do you think about this, Harry? I was thinking about this on the way in. Do you think that there's a space for sort of like a liberal version of Tony Hinchcliffe guy who's like, just saying all kinds of unwoke stuff, but, like, at his core is a Democrat.
Harry
Like, it's weird because I feel like the. I feel like liberal, like super liberal people. Like, if we're being honest, would he get canceled?
Dave
Would that person get canceled by his own 100?
Francis Ellis
Yeah, the Democrats, like, like Twitter account call Stephen Miller a faggot or something like that. Oh, it was like the official Twitter account. Can someone look that up? Who? I saw that, like, I think like the DNC like, account. I think that they're like. My point is that they're dipping their toe into like forbidden language to be like, hey, like, we can mix it up too. But like, the left does like so much like self policing and I think so much of like the political identity is if you are farther than me to the right, then you are a Nazi. You know, And I think that that's every. Everybody kind of identifies as that.
Harry
Yeah, I was gonna say, I feel like if you look at someone as, like, listen as you can go, at their core, those people aren't really funny.
Francis Ellis
Maybe it wasn't Stephen Miller. You know, it might have been someone else that they called a. But my. Yeah, I don't know. What. What is your. What. What made you Think that, like, why. Why Tony Hinchcliffe it from Kill Tony or from roast stuff?
Dave
Just. Just what he is and does. Is there a counterpart to that?
Harry
You're asking if there's a lib Tony out there.
Dave
Correct.
Harry
Yeah.
Francis Ellis
Hassan piker.
Dave
Like a punk rock kind of like, damn the fuck it, you know? You can't tell me what to say. Like, start making really inappropriate, like, abortion jokes that are on the side of being pro choice.
Harry
Yeah, yeah, I guess that make. I guess I can see that.
Dave
Or. You know what I mean?
Harry
Yeah, like, instead of like.
Dave
Or like, calling homophobes Nazis, like, they're the enemy in a way where it's like. Like, if I see a homophobe on the street, I say we string them up.
Harry
Yeah, yeah. I mean, like, yeah, if I see
Francis Ellis
anyone intolerant on the street, I'm gonna kill them.
Harry
Yeah, No, I mean, I get what you're saying.
Dave
I. I think you try to tell me who I can't love, I'll kick the. Out of you.
Harry
You know, wins. Yeah. I mean, I think you're looking for.
Dave
There's a war right now.
Harry
Yeah.
Dave
On who I'm allowed to love.
Harry
I think.
Dave
And I'm here to say I am ready. I want all this smoke.
Harry
The problem is, is, like, is there anyone that thinks that's funny, though, like, because, like, I get, like, kill Tony.
Francis Ellis
What?
Harry
I don't know.
Dave
We could call them war libs. War libs?
Harry
Yeah. Like, I could see, like, Mark Marin
Dave
maybe going, you know, Mark Marin's too righteous. This is my point. Like. Like, you can't. You can't.
Harry
Like you're looking for an offensive lib. Yeah, yeah. The thing is, though, the shit that, like, libs are. What would a lib. It.
Dave
It totally goes against what. What we know them to be. But there may. There may be. I'm wondering if there's a space to galvanize, like, pissed off lesbians.
Francis Ellis
There's a term that you're looking for,
Dave
you know, who are ready to. I'm sick and tired of the soft. Me and this army of women. Strong rugby women.
Harry
And then.
Dave
And then a bunch of, like, rock and roll gays.
Harry
I'm trying to think of that, like,
Dave
we're gonna march down the streets and. And call everyone retards.
Harry
It's kind of matt. Rife in a way.
Francis Ellis
In college, we used to call people homophobic and that kind of was like the. I think that that's what you're looking for.
Harry
Yeah, I mean, I think that works. I just don't Know what the. Like, how it could be funny.
Dave
You might. You also might limit your audience to an incredibly niche.
Harry
Like, the most. Like, the most niche group, you know?
Dave
I will say, though, right, so you're
Harry
looking for, like, the. The meme that's, like, the one friend that's too woke.
Dave
I don't even know, really. Like, I don't know. Exactly. I'm clearly imagining a mythical be. This does not exist.
Harry
I don't think you are. I think this does exist.
Dave
I will tell you.
Harry
So unfunny that people, like, they just don't take off.
Dave
You don't. You just laughed at everything I said.
Harry
Yeah, because you were saying it in a funny way.
Dave
Well, there you go.
Harry
But if you were serious doing those jokes on stage, I'll be like, what the fuck is this?
Dave
So maybe you think if I went on stage and I was like, I saw a homophobe the other day, you know, but if. And I said to myself, that guy clearly can't take a dick. I don't know. Something like, wrote an actual joke. I don't know what it.
Harry
What it was funny because it's. You saying it. If that was, like, a guy on. So maybe.
Dave
Why am I not the guy serious? Why. Why not? Why can't I.
Harry
Because you can't be the guy.
Dave
Move to Portland, Oregon, and be like, I'm opening a comedy show or a comedy club in Portland, Oregon. It's an unsafe space. Anything goes.
Francis Ellis
I think you could do it as
Dave
long as you don't hate on gay people or try to protect right to life. I mean, I. I don't know what it is. I don't know exactly what it is.
Harry
I don't think you can be the guy. I think it would be too obvious that, like, you're doing it as a joke. And to be like, you would be too obvious. Like, this is funny. Like, it would be like. It would actually be funny. I'm. We're talking, like, we need a guy who's up there, like, dead serious. And, like, those are his jokes. Like, his joke. The big punchline is like. Like, if you're homophobic, I'm gonna string you up.
Dave
I was pissing it. I was pissing at a USFC fight the other day, and I looked over the urinal and I was like, oh, boy. I can tell you, like, small government.
Harry
Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly.
Dave
Something like that.
Harry
Yeah. And then everyone's like, all right, yeah, that's it.
Dave
That's the end of it. It's not gonna work.
Francis Ellis
I think it could I think you might be the guy you were. Bowen Yang, I think is the guy.
Dave
No, no, no.
Harry
Because even Bowen Yang is like, like aware and funny. Like he has like the ability to like, we need a guy that's just not funny.
Dave
Yeah. The problem is I'm, I'm also just not liberal enough. I, I, I don't.
Harry
Not too li, not lib enough. Can't get into the character. Can't imagine that side.
Dave
Maybe. No. Maybe I'm a wild card. Maybe I'll spend half the year in Portland and half the year in Austin.
Harry
I like it. That I think has, that, I think you have potential to be a household name.
Dave
One night you never know what you're gonna get. It's, it's almost like a modern day Andy Kaufman. Yeah.
Harry
I think if you were to go and you were to be like, make yourself known as like, I'm the biggest panderer comedian on the planet. Like you go to Portland and you have blue hair on stage and you're like the, like you're just the biggest lib on the planet. And then you go to Texas and you're a full on racist.
Dave
My pronouns are bad.
Francis Ellis
And you.
Harry
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because then you, you go everywhere. People are like, that Francis Ellis guy's great. And then, but footage would emerge that would, that's where you would run into
Dave
issues and they'd be like, that's not,
Harry
that's not what I, no, that was, that's not Francis.
Dave
Yeah.
Harry
There's no, it couldn't be. Can't be.
Francis Ellis
But who, who cares though? If, if you, whoever shows up, if they know that they're going to get an affirming show, something that affirms their beliefs, then it could work.
Dave
Gotta be really nimble.
Harry
I think we could make a whole documentary about this.
Dave
That would be funny, actually. That would be funny.
Harry
A pandering.
Dave
Pandering.
Harry
Most extremes.
Dave
Yeah.
Harry
And then like, like somehow reveal it to the people that are now fans that you've done this without them knowing.
Dave
Yeah. You'd have to. Yeah.
Harry
Like maybe one of the clubs puts up the wrong poster or something. You know, maybe when you go to Portland, they accidentally put up a poster of you with your cowboy hat on and it's like a big deal. Yeah. Like fans in Portland are outraged. This isn't the Francis we know.
Francis Ellis
Yeah. People will call you out for being a hypocrite. But like, I think that's, that's feeble. I think Colin tone. A hypocrite is like a feeble criticism.
Harry
Yeah.
Francis Ellis
Everybody's hypocritical. Like when politicians start calling each other hypocrites or one side starts calling the other side hypocritical. Like. Yeah, of course.
Harry
Yeah. That's like, wouldn't. You've never gone back on your word.
Dave
Yeah. What?
Harry
You've never changed your mind.
Francis Ellis
And the, the defense to that is. Well, I have new information now.
Harry
Yeah, exactly.
Francis Ellis
I got new information.
Harry
Well, I didn't have the intel I had then that people from Texas like
Francis Ellis
this kind of thing.
Harry
Yeah.
Francis Ellis
What was making you think this?
Harry
I think it's like people have brought it up before. Like, you know, everyone's always like, we need a left Rogan.
Dave
Yeah, fine. But like, you know, there are so many left leaning comedians and it tends to always follow a certain.
Francis Ellis
What about like, Stavros?
Dave
Yeah, yeah, he's a good one.
Harry
He's like left leaning, but he's also very funny and aware. Like, like, like not.
Dave
Yeah.
Harry
Like, it's not like preachy from him. Like, I think the biggest thing with like the lib comedian Stav has already
Dave
done it and he's way better than I am, so I give up on this.
Harry
No, but he's not pandering.
Francis Ellis
You could do it.
Harry
This is the big thing, is that you're pandering.
Dave
Right. Call it, call it the, the Frandering tour.
Harry
Yes, Frandaring.
Francis Ellis
Yeah. See, that's what we were looking.
Harry
And no one knows what it means until they get there.
Dave
Right. Like, where am I? Houston. You know, I saw the ice guys at the airport and I said, good job, boys.
Harry
Yeah, I love. That's a good opener.
Dave
Yeah. That's a.
Harry
Your standing ovation.
Francis Ellis
You have to be worried about the liberal pockets of cities like that though. Like, you might have to go an hour outside where it's real red blooded Americans, because Waco. Yeah. Cities like, cities like that do have like, like Birmingham, you know what I mean? Like Alabama, red state, Birmingham, blue city.
Harry
Yeah. I think this is like, I think the tour, like we could map out the full tour date one. Like, I think it's got to be on. It's got to be back and forth. So it's like number one, first date Portland date to Oxford, Mississippi.
Dave
You don't think we finish the lips and then go.
Harry
I think you have to fully transform yourself every night. Yeah. Become a new man.
Dave
Start wearing like, go. Go to the red states and wear like a fat suit.
Harry
Yeah. Full transformation. Yeah.
Dave
Tattoo, you know, Confederate flag tats, temporary.
Harry
I think you could go as far as using a different name on both
Dave
I'm Frank in the red states.
Harry
I think you announced two separate tours. Francis and Francois.
Dave
No, no. Frank in the red states. Francisco in the blue.
Harry
I love it. And you announce them at the exact same time, and it's just every other day. But, like, no sides are hurt because they only see, like, one of the tours. It's like Oxford, fucking Huntsville, Nashville, all these red cities. I don't even know if Nashville is a red city, but it probably isn't, but you know what I mean? You get what I'm saying?
Dave
Yeah, yeah. Houston.
Francis Ellis
Houston.
Dave
Dallas.
Harry
Dallas. And then the other side is San Diego. San Francisco, Portland. Seattle.
Francis Ellis
Yes, yes, I'm for this. You just would have to get two acts, that's all. And you just go back and forth with two acts and then sprinkle a little local shit at the beginning, just like any other show or.
Dave
And hear me out. I don't do any of this because it sounds utterly exhausting and probably not that lucrative.
Harry
Yeah. Now it's a pretty bad idea.
Francis Ellis
Extremely lucrative. Everybody eats.
Harry
Terrible idea. You.
Dave
I'm glad we flushed it all the way out.
Harry
I'm glad we saw it. We saw it through, you know, we saw the end of it.
Dave
Yeah.
Harry
We saw what its full potential could look like.
Dave
Yeah. I think I'm ready to give up on the podcast. No, no, no.
Harry
Just in life.
Dave
This is y'.
Harry
All.
Dave
This is all I've got. My career. Yeah. I'm ready to be done.
Harry
You're hanging it up. What are you going to do instead?
Francis Ellis
Life coaching.
Dave
Read.
Harry
Not a bad idea. Get a course going.
Dave
I'm ready. I'm really enjoying this book I'm reading. Beau, if you're listening, this is for you. It's called the sun by someone.
Francis Ellis
Oh, God, that sounds good.
Dave
Richard Foster, maybe Rick. He also wrote American Rust, which I haven't read. This is about a kid who wrote the Sun, Nathan Foster. It's about a kid who gets. He's growing up on the frontier in, like, the 1850, and his family and his house gets, like, marauded by Comanches, and he gets taken as, like, a slave and then raised in the Comanche world.
Harry
Damn.
Dave
It's. But he's, like, pretty badass himself. So they see that he's worth not killing and, like, bringing into their fold. And I'm really enjoying it. It's awesome.
Harry
Wait, so he goes from being a slave to being, like, top guy?
Dave
They. I don't. I think he becomes a soldier. I haven't. I'm only 100 pages in, but, yeah, they like, and he doesn't really know his identity. He can't like decide because he's a white guy. But he's like riding around with the Comanches and killing white men.
Francis Ellis
12 years of Comanche.
Harry
A willing friend during.
Dave
Comanche. Yeah,
Harry
we call that friend during.
Francis Ellis
Do you think that if that was you, you would be. So you would like play the long game and like you would just get turned into a vicious killer and wind up like, like skinning the heads of the Comanche for what they did to your family or would you just be fully assimilated?
Harry
I think I would go full race trader immediately.
Francis Ellis
Get. But get Stockholm synthesis.
Dave
Yeah, same. I would. I would do anything I could to make them like not kill me.
Francis Ellis
The white devil has struck again.
Harry
Yeah.
Francis Ellis
Yeah.
Harry
Be one of the Comanches. Yeah. I mean, once you're. Once you're one of the guys, you're not turning on the pack.
Francis Ellis
Yeah. No, Once you're a savage.
Dave
Until the whites develop the like six shot pistol. Really turn the tides against the Comanches.
Harry
Now we're fucked.
Dave
And then I'd go over and be like, hey boys, bad news. They've been holding on to me for 14 years. I could never escape, but here I am. Yeah. I'll tell you their secrets now.
Harry
You. All you've got is fucking swords.
Dave
Yeah.
Harry
And bow and arrows. They have to shoot the bullets out of the air.
Dave
This early scene in the book where they kill. They kill buffalo and they bring it back and they like, like cut open the stomach of the buffalo and there's curdled milk in the stomach of the buffalo. And the Comanches want him as a kid to drink it because that's what they do. And he knows they want him to do it because they think it will give him strength and he'll become valuable. So he goes to drink it, but it's like he forces himself to keep it down even though he's like throwing up in his own mouth. And it pleases them.
Harry
Them.
Dave
And then they like take out the intestine and like start eating it raw.
Francis Ellis
Oh.
Dave
And they like sprinkle from the bowels like the. The juice to season it.
Harry
I thought you're gonna say salt.
Dave
No, no. It's like eating blood.
Harry
Yeah. That's disgusting.
Dave
It's really tough.
Harry
I'm out on this book I was in. Now I'm out.
Francis Ellis
Nathan Foster. How did this honky get these ideas about the Comanche, I wonder? These. The mighty Comanche.
Harry
The Comanches came to him and spoke.
Francis Ellis
Tell them that we eat the blood.
Harry
Tell them we use blood as seasoning.
Francis Ellis
Tell them we use girdled milk.
Dave
His brother. His brother won't do it. They take his brother too. And his brother is this bookish guy who dreamt of going to Harvard, sort of.
Harry
Oh, no.
Dave
And he's. He won't do it. And they end up killing his brother. This is early in the book. And. And I was like, oh, that would have been me.
Harry
Yeah. Yeah. I'm not drinking this.
Francis Ellis
Do you have Perrier? Yeah.
Harry
No shot. I'm drinking that.
Dave
Do you have any idea how many parasites there are in the stomach of a bison?
Francis Ellis
Yeah.
Harry
I mean, that's disgusting.
Francis Ellis
Yeah. It's a good book, though, huh?
Dave
It's really good. Yeah. Enjoying it?
Francis Ellis
I love watching a flick about the. The mighty Comanche or some. Some Indian tribes. What was. There was like a Kevin Costner movie.
Dave
Dances with Wolves.
Francis Ellis
No, it was like a more recent one. I think that maybe he. I don't know if he directed it. Seven Samurai, but it. It details some.
Dave
The Rookie.
Francis Ellis
Oh, that's what it was. The Rookie. Where he had a. Oh, Field of
Dave
Dreams where they are fighting with a tribe over the corn horizon.
Harry
Tribe of the Corn Dreams is a banger.
Francis Ellis
I thought it was a banger.
Dave
Bull Durham. That was his. That was his Indian name. Yeah, I guess it was Sitting Bull Durham.
Harry
He does.
Francis Ellis
He's done a lot of movies, like about the old West.
Dave
Yeah.
Francis Ellis
I thought this is a decent plane watch. It's not like a banger.
Harry
Three hours.
Francis Ellis
It's a plane watch.
Harry
6.63 hours.
Dave
I tried to watch movie crime 101 was not very good.
Harry
That sounds really bad. So right off the title, great cast.
Dave
Ruffalo Halle.
Harry
Really?
Francis Ellis
Keegan. Chris.
Dave
Chris. Chris is in it. Barry, unbelievable cast.
Harry
It is a good cast. I don't like that Barry Kogan guy, whatever his name is, though.
Dave
You don't like Barry Cohen?
Harry
Yeah, I think I don't like him at all.
Dave
Why is that?
Harry
I think Saltburn is one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Ever.
Francis Ellis
Well, because you're deeply homophobic.
Harry
Correct that and leave this. And Dunkirk was dog, too.
Francis Ellis
And you have penis envy because you saw Barry Keegan's.
Harry
I don't even remember seeing his penis.
Francis Ellis
Yeah, because you've wiped it from your memory. Like a woman who gives birth and doesn't realize how traumatic it was so she can give birth again.
Harry
I think Saltburn is like. If you were to trail down the downfall of society. I think it begins with Saltburn. I think that's the start part.
Francis Ellis
Just because he slurped come. This man can't slurp come without your stamp of approval.
Harry
No, they. I mean, they just stole the talented Mr. Ripley and just made it like a perverted gay movie.
Dave
That sounds pretty new.
Harry
No, because talented Mr. Ripley was already a perverted gay movie.
Dave
It was pretty gay, but it was like,
Harry
not. It wasn't really in your face, you know, Like, I don't mind a little gay Saltburn. I'm homophobic. Saltburn made me homophobic.
Dave
Huh?
Harry
That's strictly towards Barry Kogan or whatever.
Francis Ellis
Great time for your anti homophobic comic to. To emerge.
Dave
Yeah. Except that. Yeah, I'd be doing crowd work. I'd be like, like, look at this guy in the front row.
Harry
Looks like a homophobe that he didn't like. Saltburn, what do you do for a
Dave
living wearing shorts to a comedy show? I bet you work on a crab boat. Have you ever, ever seen a guy trying so hard to look straight?
Francis Ellis
He's.
Harry
You're just making fun of blue collar guys.
Dave
Yeah, Yeah. I guess there are sneakily blue collar, uneducated. What are the tropes of, like, the angry lib? I don't know who. Who dislikes, you know, you, You.
Harry
I think, like, it's automatic. Like, I think what you were, like, said about the south, like, people, super lib people think that the south is, like, incestuous.
Dave
That's a big one.
Harry
True.
Dave
Yeah.
Francis Ellis
They think liberals are incestuous.
Dave
No, they think that the people that live in the south are always banging their siblings.
Harry
Yeah. Yeah. Which I think it's probably pretty uncommon. Probably close to nobody.
Dave
I don't know. I don't know how often that happens.
Harry
Definitely not as much as people think. Or maybe it's more. Maybe it's more than people think. Who knows?
Francis Ellis
Yeah, well, now you're lowering the threshold of how much people think it's. Maybe it's more.
Dave
I knew from a very young age that I was not to have desire for my sister because we grew up in the Northeast, of course, where that was frowned upon. Yeah.
Harry
But I know a lot of people from the south that I think have also. They also know that
Francis Ellis
not. Not as many. They haven't. It hasn't come across their desk yet.
Harry
I don't think it has. I think it's made its way down to the South.
Francis Ellis
Yeah, yeah, you say that.
Dave
Not all parts. Not the bayou now.
Harry
I think it's made its way to the bayou.
Dave
The bayou doesn't even have ice. All right, I'm Talking about, like cubes, not the force. All right, wait a minute. No, wait a minute. Wait a second. We need a palate cleanser. We gotta end a little stronger than that. No, little something. Come on. What do you got? How's your diarrhea? How's that been?
Harry
My diarrhea is good. I've been taking good shits. Been eating a lot of fiber. Fiber gummies, too.
Dave
Okay.
Harry
Yeah, supplementing.
Dave
Good, good, good.
Harry
Feeling healthy, feeling strong.
Dave
What else?
Harry
Nothing.
Dave
You got nothing going on? Anything? Anything fun that you're looking forward to?
Harry
No, I mean, going fishing soon. Planned out the trip last night.
Dave
How long are you guys gonna go for?
Harry
I think three days, four days.
Dave
Yeah. This feels very familiar to the last time we talked about it.
Francis Ellis
Yeah, yesterday. Yeah, a day ago.
Dave
That was. Okay.
Francis Ellis
Well, you cooking anything good, Francis?
Dave
I made some cod last night. Oh, yeah, I made some good cod. Little fish and chips. No, no, I didn't.
Harry
And if you were to make fish and chips, you would probably use cod.
Dave
I would do. I would do.
Francis Ellis
I heard cod is one of the most nutrient dense fishes as far as protein and creatine content.
Dave
Dude, every time I go to the Monger and I get cod, I say, I want a pound. And they're like, okay, here's a pound. They always go a little over. It was 1.13 last night. I said, that's fine. Then I brought it home and I cooked 1.13 pounds of cod and thought, I'll eat half of this and then have the rest tomorrow. Yeah, sure didn't.
Harry
How much did you eat?
Dave
The whole 1.13 pounds.
Harry
Holy.
Francis Ellis
What sides did you have or sauces?
Dave
I marinated it in Dijon mustard, lemon, olive oil, paprika, a little bit of garlic. And then I put lemon slices over the top, put it in the top rack of the oven at 450 for about 10 minutes. And then I did some fresh parsley on top.
Harry
That sounds delicious. I mean, Todd's Light.
Dave
Yeah, I did. For sides, I did broccolini and I did some roasted carrots as well.
Francis Ellis
Well, you can't say cos light if it's over a pound of it.
Harry
I mean, how, like, how many plates would you say that was?
Dave
That's probably enough fish for about four people. Three to four people.
Harry
How long did it take you to eat?
Dave
15 minutes light. I put it away.
Harry
Dude, I think I could do it. I think I'm up for the test. Next video.
Francis Ellis
The Great Cod Off?
Harry
Yeah, the Great Cod Off.
Francis Ellis
Oh, like a cod Like Call of Duty?
Dave
I'm gonna bring COD to the
Francis Ellis
1v1 COD. And it's just you guys both eating a 1.13 pounds.
Dave
All right, who's ready to come in second place? This is my mom's recipe. Oh, why don't you put that keyboard away?
Harry
So I'm definitely down for that. The COD1V1.
Dave
Nice. All right, well, that was really funny.
Harry
I think we can end it on the COD one if you want. I think that's the big finale.
Dave
The COD at the cut off is really.
Francis Ellis
Yeah.
Harry
Really thought we found it. We were looking for something, and we found it.
Dave
Yeah.
Harry
Yeah.
Dave
It's like when they're. Like when they run around to end the scene.
Harry
We found Viva. I want that on the main page.
Dave
Spot on.
Harry
Yep.
Dave
Yes. You'll have to send that to those people.
Harry
Yeah. All right, we'll see you guys next week. I will be in Wilmington, North Carolina, at the Dead Crow Comedy Club Room tomorrow. Or not tomorrow, Next week. Friday, Saturday, four shows. You can find the tickets on my Instagram or on the Dead Crow Comedy Club Room website. Thank you.
Release Date: June 11, 2026
Hosts: Barstool Sports (Harry "Lil Sasquatch", Dave, & Francis Ellis)
The hosts dive deep into the wild atmosphere and violence surrounding the recent Knicks playoff run, focusing on the rise of "bandwagon violence"—fans aggressively confronting rival supporters. They riff on New York sports culture, celebrity appearances at games, the political fever pitch at MSG, and increasingly absurd security measures. The episode seamlessly blends sports talk, cultural commentary, vivid storytelling, and classic Barstool-style humor.
The show maintains the irreverent, loose, and often absurdist humor Barstool is known for, with plenty of dry sarcasm, quick-fire riffing, and tongue-in-cheek exaggeration. The hosts are self-aware—often mocking themselves and their city’s sports culture as much as anyone else. Jokes blend seamlessly with pointed observations, and current events are mined for both earnest and absurd commentary.
If you missed this episode, you'll come away with insights on the irrationality of sports fandom, the intersection of celebrity and regular life, bizarre New York moments, and an inside look at Barstool's business politics—all delivered with plenty of jokes, wild stories, and a refusal to ever take themselves too seriously.