Birmingham | Son of a Boy Dad #378

Summary

Son of a Boy Dad #378: "Birmingham"

Podcast: Son of a Boy Dad
Hosts: Sass (Lil Sasquatch), Roan, Harry
Episode Date: February 24, 2026
Summary Prepared by Podcast Summarizer

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Overview

In this lively and meandering episode, the hosts riff on everything from airport etiquette and travel quirks to college lacrosse, anxiety, disorganized youth, and why Sass’s friend moved to Birmingham, Alabama. True to form, the pod is a blend of anecdote-driven banter, self-deprecating humor, and some unexpectedly candid conversations about growing up, family, anxiety, and finding meaning in adulthood. The main theme revolves around Sass seeking guidance from Roan and Harry after dropping out of college, with lots of tangents and playful roasting among friends.

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Key Discussion Points

1. Physical Quirks and Shaky Limbs

Time: 01:28–03:06

• Sass and Harry compare their experiences with hand tremors, with Roan joking it’s repressed “shell shock.”
• Sass shares he’s always had shaky hands, despite trying workouts.
• The group jokes about who would be steadier behind a “50 cal,” with Harry insisting he might be better.

Notable Quote:
"I'm a phenomenal driver. I guarantee I'm a better driver than both of you." — Sass (03:23)

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2. Driving Debates & Airport Etiquette

Time: 03:07–14:40

• Sass insists he’s the best driver, leading to ribbing and stories about driving with each other.
• The group segues into rants about people blocking escalators and moving walkways, likening the behavior to “Spider Manning” or blocking a moving walkway with bags (05:27–06:16).
• Roan shares a story about rude people on an escalator in Connecticut.
• They discuss the differences in walking norms in Japan vs. the U.S., and how airport flow could be improved.

Notable Quote:
"I think it's more like if you were like Spider Manning across the entire hallway and it's empty..." — Roan (05:27)

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3. Airport and Vape Confessions

Time: 13:13–16:20

• Sass and Harry admit to vaping in airports and even on planes, with a throwback to “ghosting” vape clouds under a jacket sleeve.
• Sass recounts getting sick from nicotine products and Harry details his unhealthy late-night cookie eating spree.

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4. Lacrosse, Sports Status, and Harvard Pride

Time: 17:05–22:29

• Harry boasts about Harvard lacrosse’s upset win over Syracuse (17:05–20:45) and reminisces about his playing days.
• They tease about “helmet tilt” and lacrosse gear.
• Mini deep dive into college sports status symbols—Harvard, Yankees gear, and how certain brands transcend fandom.
• Banter about NCAA lacrosse standings and school rivalries.

Notable Quote:
"...with Harvard, you're just, like, supporting knowledge." — Roan (20:21)

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5. Sass’s Friend Moves to Birmingham – Nomad Life

Time: 23:46–28:44

• Sass reveals his friend Bo’s sudden move to Birmingham to get a pilot's license and escape home life.
• The hosts dissect why Bo chooses new places restlessly and whether Birmingham is the right fit.
• Humor and light jabs at the idea of reverse segregation, racism in the South, and the dream of “Bo uniting Birmingham.”

Notable Quotes:
"He wants to get his pilot license." — Sass (24:19)
"He's a nomad... I think he's just gonna hop from place to place." — Sass (26:43)

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6. Flight School & 9/11 Conspiracies

Time: 28:45–30:19

• Tangent about flight school, Cessna lessons, and the infamous “9/11 pilots skipped landing days” myth.
• Sass geek outs over the idea of flight simulators (“those things look so fucking sick”).

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7. Materialism, Cars, and Impulse Control

Time: 30:35–33:08

• Harry and Roan riff on why cars never appealed to them despite enjoying quality things.
• A deep-dive into the allure of heated and cooling car seats, and the dangers of “crazy impulses” if tempted by risky hobbies.

Notable Quote:
"I don't care about driving... cars are just the most expensive hobby." — Harry (31:14)

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8. Coffee Culture & Food Talk

Time: 34:44–38:53

• Sass’s caffeine tolerance is unmatched; the group obsesses over the local croissant scene and destination bakeries (“Claude Bakery,” 37:16).
• Roan introduces kolaches, leading to memories of Texas road food.

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9. Pittsburgh Comedy, City Vibes & Golf

Time: 39:30–44:30

• Harry talks about performing at the Pittsburgh Improv and the city's M.C. Escher-like layout.
• Sass jokes about his mural there.
• Harry raves about Oakmont Country Club, its iconic status, and lack of water hazards.

Notable Quote:
“Oakmont is top five golf course in the world, probably.” — Harry (43:40)

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10. Environmental Tangent: Polluted Rivers

Time: 45:01–46:21

• Light debate about river pollution, AI company runoff, and speculating if rivers will ever self-heal.

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11. The Real 'Rich Kid' Sports

Time: 47:45–51:33

• Debate over which sports are truly for the rich: lacrosse vs. polo, equestrian, figure skating, and even NASCAR.
• Roan notes, “That’s why they’re all juniors, too. They’re driving from the time they’re three.”

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12. Family, Dads, and Social Dynamics

Time: 51:42–59:59

• The group riffs on their fathers' personalities, aspirations, and social leanings.
• Harry fantasizes about meeting Sass’s dad at Home Depot and winning him over via hockey talk and “parental struggles.”
• Roan and Harry commiserate over not meeting each other’s families, suggesting a hypothetical “dad meet-up.”

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13. Anxiety, Growing Up, and Disorganization

Time: 66:17–70:58

• Candid exchange on when the hosts first felt anxiety, panic attacks, and how “labeling it” can make it worse.
• Sass details his disorganization growing up—missing homework, tuning out in class — and the difference between “not knowing” and ADD.

Notable Quote:
"You just kind of coast... there's like, nothing really that bad's going to happen." — Sass (69:55)

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14. Brief Music, Hobbies, and PC Building

Time: 62:44–79:22

• The group shares music tastes (Brahms, Olivia Dean, Sublime) and why certain genres no longer vibe with them.
• Sass claims PC building is “like Legos”—easy and over-hyped as difficult.

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15. Randoms: Food, Tacos, Headbands, and Takashi69

Time: 80:02–84:03

• Harry’s steak taco recipe (flour over corn tortillas), “rice in tacos” as burrito litmus, and confusion over a Spongebob sleep mask in the studio.
• Brief mention of Takashi69’s legal troubles and ironic “entrepreneur” life.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• "With Harvard, you're just, like, supporting knowledge." — Roan (20:21)
• "He's a nomad... I think he's just gonna hop from place to place." — Sass (26:43)
• "I know who they made though. And you're pretty darn good." — Harry to Sass about his family (58:10)
• "It's literally doing Legos." — Sass on building a PC (78:57)
• "You just kind of coast... there's like, nothing really that bad's going to happen." — Sass on adolescence (69:55)
• "I think the PC stuff people like, over complicate. It's really easy." — Sass (78:40)
• "If I did that now I would die... I would be getting like airlifted to a hospital in a straight jacket." — Sass on mixing caffeine and anxiety with age (67:07)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:28 – Intro to physical quirks & shaky hands
• 03:23 – Driver dominance and ribbing each other's skills
• 05:27–06:16 – Escalator/moving walkway etiquette rants
• 13:13 – Airport frustrations and vape confessions
• 17:05–22:29 – Harvard lacrosse win; nostalgia for college sports
• 23:46–28:44 – Why Bo moved to Birmingham; restlessness and new cities
• 30:35–33:08 – Materialism, cars, and impulse control discussion
• 34:44–38:53 – Coffee, croissants, and kolaches debate
• 39:30–44:30 – Comedy in Pittsburgh, club culture, and golf
• 45:01–46:21 – Pittsburgh rivers and pollution tangent
• 47:45–51:33 – Fencing, equestrian, and the true rich kid sports
• 51:42–59:59 – Dad dynamics, family isolation, and social quirks
• 66:17–70:58 – Anxiety, labeling, and realizing adulthood worries
• 78:40 – Building PCs is “like Legos”
• 80:02–84:03 – Food talk, Spongebob sleep mask, and Takashi69
• 84:03–86:41 – Closing Olympics talk

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Episode Tone & Style

• Casual, candid, and often self-effacing.
• Mix of chaos, nostalgia, and deadpan humor.
• Conversational—feels like eavesdropping on friends who aren't afraid to get a little deep between jokes.
• Roasts are friendly, and there's a healthy dose of catching up on each other's lives.

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For Listeners

Even if you missed the episode, this summary captures the essential vibes: the hosts' friendship, a running commentary on modern young adult life, and plenty of laughs built over observations, memories, and minor grievances elevated by sharp banter and mutual affection.

Transcript

[Roan]

Hey. Son of a boy. Dad. Listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.

[Sass]

Out on the course, they're the PGA tourist's best players. But in the arena, they're prime time. And season two of TGL presented by SoFi is back.

[Harry]

With lights, cameras, action.

[Sass]

We're talking big moments, big personalities, big

[Harry]

names in the stands, all on the big screen. Big time matchups with shot clocks, Hammer

[Sass]

drops timeouts, overtime, playoffs. It's city versus city, squad versus squad.

[Harry]

The sport just hits different under the light. It's TGL, presented by SoFi.

[Roan]

Keep up.

[Sass]

It's golf. Tune in to every match only on espn.

[Harry]

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[Roan]

How's your quad?

[Sass]

Weak.

[Roan]

I was trying to strengthen quad this morning. Is that quivering?

[Sass]

Yeah, yeah, it's quivering.

[Harry]

Geez.

[Sass]

Can't even support my own leg.

[Roan]

You really have been shut in this weekend. You can't straighten your leg without a quivering.

[Sass]

I was literally just. I was like just mad.

[Harry]

Dude, I got something weird. Which is that when I pick up a drink and hold it in my left hand, my left hand starts to tremble.

[Sass]

I literally can't pick up anything without trembling.

[Harry]

Really? It's.

[Sass]

I have a constant tremble.

[Harry]

Is that like. What do you think that is?

[Roan]

Als?

[Sass]

My mom took me to the doctor for it like multiple times as a kid. Yeah, they just said it's like nerve. Something with my nerve.

[Harry]

You don't think it's because Gabapentin, we have something in common with Tom Hanks character in Saving Private Ryan? No, because every time he would pick up his canteen, his hand would shake.

[Sass]

Well, that's probably shell shock.

[Roan]

Is there maybe a. That's Like a repressed shell shock that you guys have.

[Harry]

Do you think we.

[Roan]

Or maybe from bombing so much?

[Sass]

I don't know what it is. I've had shaky hands my entire life, and I've never been able to fix it. Like, I've tried. Like, I did, like, forearm workouts for years. I did.

[Roan]

You should have done more than that.

[Sass]

I did everything, and it never changed. So I just.

[Roan]

You're talking about more than four.

[Harry]

You don't think that. You don't think that our hands would steady behind a 50 cal?

[Sass]

No, I think mine would for sure.

[Harry]

That's what. That's. What I'm saying is that's.

[Sass]

I think yours would be gittier, yours would be shaken, like, more than ever.

[Harry]

Why?

[Sass]

It's not built like that to kill.

[Roan]

He's not built to kill.

[Sass]

No.

[Harry]

I've come closer to killing someone than you have.

[Sass]

I don't know about that.

[Roan]

That guy that broke into your house, you chased him down, down the block.

[Harry]

No.

[Sass]

Chased him down in the nude?

[Harry]

Yeah. Trying to think of the closest I've ever come. I mean, maybe you've. Maybe driving. You've come close.

[Sass]

Driving.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Sass]

I'm a phenomenal driver. I guarantee I'm a better driver than both of you.

[Harry]

Why?

[Roan]

Why did you say me?

[Sass]

I've driven with both of you.

[Roan]

What?

[Sass]

It's like being in a fucking Cessna going through a blizzard.

[Harry]

What?

[Roan]

When have you driven with me?

[Sass]

I've definitely. I've driven with you multiple times. What are you talking about? When I've known you for seven years.

[Roan]

So when have you driven with me?

[Sass]

I don't know the exact times. I've definitely driven with you until you

[Roan]

produce the dates cap.

[Sass]

No, it's not.

[Roan]

I think that Francis is a very.

[Sass]

Francis is. Francis is a good driver.

[Roan]

He's smooth as hell. And I don't mind if I. What if I'm the worst driver in the group?

[Sass]

Yeah. You should be ashamed.

[Harry]

I've driven with Roan. I don't think he's that bad.

[Sass]

He's not good.

[Harry]

I think he's pretty good.

[Roan]

I also like. My ego's not telling me I have to be the best driver in the group right now. Your fragile ego's like, I'm the best. I'm Tokyo drifting out here. You're not.

[Sass]

Oh, that's the thing. I'm not Tokyo drifting. I'm very tend to.

[Roan]

You drive like old lady.

[Sass]

Yeah, exactly.

[Roan]

That's not good.

[Sass]

Yes, it is safe.

[Roan]

No, it's not.

[Harry]

I think good driving is a combination of being safe. While also being efficient. Yeah, Getting, getting us there as quickly as possible while not, while not getting

[Sass]

there at a reasonable time. I think that's not, I don't go for as quick as possible.

[Harry]

Do you know that?

[Sass]

Let's, let's meet the eta.

[Harry]

Every time we bring up the fact that you camp in the left lane and hold up traffic, you raise your mile per hour that you were by about five to ten, bro. I mean, the first time you told that story, you were going like 70. And then you're like, I'm going 85.

[Sass]

I, I just remember, like, it was like, it was like if, like we're in the office right now, it's. There's a blizzard happening. There's no one here. Right. It's empty. It would be like if you were walking down the hallway and there was someone walking directly behind you and you were like, why don't you just. We have thousands of square feet here. Why don't you just take another, you know, just move.

[Roan]

I think it's more like if you were like Spider Manning across the entire hallway and it's empty and someone probably

[Sass]

was on like a six lane highway and there's no one else on the street.

[Harry]

I think it's blizzard. I think it'd be more like if there was a section of the office that was a like moving walkway, like in the airport, and you got on, on it and you just stood and put your bags to your left and right.

[Sass]

Oh, no, no.

[Harry]

And said, it's moving. I'm gonna get there. Why would I walk?

[Sass]

But it would be, it would be similar to if someone was camping on the moving walkway, which is by far. It's the fattest thing someone could ever do. And it would be like if someone did that and then you had enough room to get by them, but instead of getting by them, you just stood directly behind them and were just like breathing on the back of their neck the whole time.

[Roan]

I was at a casino in Connecticut, walking up a stairway or an escalator and there were two women, fat drunk women, holding their drinks, like looking at each other, just wedged in. And I was like, excuse me. And she was like, really? It pissed me off so much. Yes. I said yes. Really?

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Roan]

What do you mean? I'm trying to get somewhere?

[Sass]

I think the only time it's acceptable to not move on a moving platform, an escalator, if we're, if we're counting the walkway as an escalator.

[Harry]

Well, there's a big difference between those two, though.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Harry]

You have to Walk on the moving walkway. You don't have to walk on the escalator.

[Sass]

I think you have. I think you should walk. I mean, unless you have big luggage. I get. But, like, I think everyone should be going down.

[Harry]

Walking down the escalator. I mean, honest, honestly, there is a danger element to that if you have stairs. If you fall down the escalator, you're dead.

[Sass]

You're going to die.

[Harry]

You're dead.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Even if the stairs don't kill you, you're going to get sucked under.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

You're going come back out.

[Sass]

You're getting in as caraccio.

[Harry]

Yeah. You're coming out the other end.

[Sass]

But I still think. I think if you're capable, you should be going down, really.

[Roan]

And up. It's an escalator. Like, it's a stairway. Like, up.

[Harry]

Up is crazy. You're going twice the force of gravity.

[Sass]

Yeah. You got to enjoy.

[Roan]

It feels amazing. Have you ever walked up an escalator? You feel like you're taking off?

[Harry]

I don't like walking up an escalator. For some reason, I feel like I'm doing high knees through sand.

[Roan]

I think you slowed me down recently when I was walking up an escalator.

[Harry]

Did I?

[Roan]

Are you serious?

[Sass]

You might struggle on.

[Harry]

The only time I'd be running up an escalator is if, like, I saw my child up ahead of me and I was like, he's not getting off the right way. That kid's going around. That kid's going under and around.

[Sass]

Have you guys ever tried to go up, like, the down? Yeah, it's fun.

[Harry]

It's called the StairMaster.

[Sass]

It's hard.

[Harry]

It is hard.

[Sass]

Especially if you do it.

[Harry]

Getting off is hard.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

You ever go down the up?

[Sass]

No.

[Harry]

That's easier.

[Sass]

Scary, almost.

[Roan]

You think there's a regulation speed for those things?

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Or do you think that there's some that are faster than others?

[Sass]

I bet, like. Because I bet if you go to, like, Japan, I bet they're moving at 70 miles per hour.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Well, Japan, everybody stands to one side in a nice single file, so you can zoom by. If you want to walk, they give you the option, which is what pissed me off. These fat.

[Sass]

They're so tight. They're teeny tiny.

[Harry]

How do you guys feel around each other? I'm glad we're on this topic. Do you want to start the episode, by the way?

[Roan]

Sure.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Sass]

The Japanese probably stand, like, four across on them on the walking escalator.

[Roan]

No. What do you mean? They're the most polite society Teeny tiny. You got them all wrong. And they're not that tiny. I think you're thinking of the Chinese.

[Sass]

Maybe. I could be, but. Okay. Welcome to the Son of a Boy dad podcast. It is. It is.

[Roan]

Or the Vietnamese.

[Sass]

It is February 23rd.

[Roan]

Or the Laotians.

[Sass]

It's 1:45pm But I think we started around 1:30.

[Harry]

This is an important. Do you want to give us a clap? Yeah, sure.

[Sass]

Well, you kind of just hopped in.

[Harry]

Well, I know, but I need that. I want to hear how sticky your hands are today.

[Sass]

That was no stick at all.

[Harry]

No stick.

[Sass]

I was like. I was like someone punching a baseball mitt.

[Harry]

Yeah. Clapping cheeks, Harry. Or actually, both of you. So how much do you guys believe in. If there is. Let's say that there's a staircase down the subway and there's a railing down the middle. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sass]

I know that.

[Harry]

The right side of it is for going up, and the left side is for going down.

[Sass]

That staircase is for anyone who wants to do anything on that staircase.

[Harry]

Come on, man. Come on. Come on, man.

[Roan]

What staircase are you talking about?

[Harry]

Any staircase.

[Sass]

The one right here, for example. The subway.

[Harry]

There's a. Oh, no, because that one doesn't have the. I'm talking about one that has a divider in the middle. So, like the one by denoting the one. The one in Dumbo York Street, Anyway. Yeah, yeah. Where there's. There's a right side, and in all likelihood, there's some arrows on the stairs that are saying up. And then the other side is. The one on the left side is the down. Obviously. You know why? Because we drive on the right side of the road here. So that is the right flow of traffic.

[Sass]

Yeah, yeah.

[Harry]

Per our society, I think it's fine to extend the rules of the road to the way that we kind of travel. Right.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

To that point. I was in Newark Airport yesterday, and you know how in Newark, for whatever reason, they designed all the common space in the middle.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Aisle. Which is insane, by the way.

[Sass]

What terminal were you at?

[Harry]

See, probably the one. But. But, you know, they. All the. All. All the restaurants are in the middle. Even. Even common seating is in the middle.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

All the bars. It's nice. I'm just saying that to me, anyone walking out of the terminal should be walking on the right side of the restaurants, and anyone walking to their gate in Newark should be walking on the right side of the restaurant.

[Roan]

What about just right and left lane on the one side and right plane on the other side? If only people are going Both ways.

[Harry]

If only it could be so simple.

[Sass]

The problem is something you have to consider is it is Newark International Airport.

[Harry]

Oh, that's actually a great point.

[Sass]

A lot of people that are coming in, they might be driving on the left lane.

[Harry]

Yeah. But when I'm in fucking London, I'm not just being like, well, where are we doing at home? I'm on the fucking right. You guys better move out of the way.

[Sass]

Some people are a little slow.

[Harry]

Fine. My point is that if everyone just. Actually, I mean, I've. I've. It's beating a dead horse.

[Roan]

You like the rules to be followed.

[Harry]

It would be more efficient. We'd all move more quickly.

[Roan]

Dude. Well, I could say the same thing about walking up an escalator. You're trying to take a little siesta on the escalator for two seconds, take the steps. You're an active being. Motion is lotion. If you don't usually lose it, I

[Harry]

do think I do. I am very conscious on the escalator of if I'm not walking up, I'm hugging the right side.

[Roan]

But why not just walk it up?

[Sass]

Well, you're in great shape. Walk up. If I walk up, I'm taking the stairs.

[Roan]

Yeah, but you're an anarchist. You don't believe in any type of rules. You're not like, trying to make society move more efficiently. You're looking out for number one.

[Harry]

Harry can't walk up the escalator because it'll jiggle the bomb.

[Roan]

No, I enriched plutonium.

[Sass]

Like at LaGuardia, for example. You know, I'll take the stairs a lot because it's just faster, faster.

[Roan]

Jfk. Sometimes you get off the moving walkway because everybody's.

[Sass]

Oh, you don't camp in. Jfk. You don't even get on the moving walkway.

[Roan]

People just camp out in there. Yeah, I mean, it just flies in the face of all the other stuff you're saying.

[Harry]

I don't know. I don't know, Ron.

[Roan]

I do like it.

[Harry]

Then why do I like what?

[Roan]

Standing on the escalator?

[Harry]

Well, first of all, when I get to LaGuardia, the best escalator is the one when you land and you're coming down because it takes you down below the arrivals, the departures.

[Sass]

Like, there's like a five story escalator

[Harry]

and there's a beautiful mural on the left. And you get to kind of look around and just marvel at all the amazing stuff they've done there. And which airport is this and that slow by the Starbucks descent, to me, is the real indicator Of I'm home. It. To me, it feels like what it must have felt like when gis took the gangplank off of the transport boats when they got back from Normandy.

[Roan]

Yeah, it's interesting.

[Harry]

I feel like I. I envision myself way. I almost wave. No, I don't even thank everyone for thinking that's crazy.

[Sass]

When I land at LaGuardia or when I land in New York, it's like we're just getting started. Day is not even close to over.

[Harry]

Yeah, well, that's you living New York.

[Sass]

Yeah. So, like, I gotta, like. I think it's. Once I get to the Uber place, I'm like, all right, now it's time to settle in. Like, once I get to, like, the Uber area.

[Harry]

Well, that's not that far.

[Sass]

Yeah, but when I'm in the airport, I'm still angry. Like, I'm still moving pissed.

[Roan]

Because you can't even hit vape. No, you just need one.

[Sass]

Can't even hit vape yet.

[Roan]

On that escalator. You probably could rip a.

[Sass]

Everyone's ripping vape on that escalator.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

You could just empty the clip on that cloud.

[Sass]

I mean, I'll be honest. Like, when you. When people are getting off, if you're vaping, if you're getting. When you're on the jet bridge, you're getting a puffin for sure on that. Walk off. Yeah.

[Roan]

Or getting on or.

[Sass]

Yeah, both.

[Harry]

But you hit it on the plane, too.

[Sass]

Not me.

[Harry]

You do the whole, like, sleeve.

[Sass]

I used to do that.

[Roan]

Ghost it.

[Sass]

I used to do that when I was on the Jewel, but it would explode it. When it gets the altitude. It's just, like a loose fluid. So you get the. Up the altitude, you take a hit of it, and then next thing you know, it's all in your mouth.

[Harry]

Oh, no.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Roan]

God. And did you like that?

[Sass]

No. It's like, the worst feeling maybe ever. You ever been, like, sick from nicotine?

[Harry]

No.

[Sass]

That's like. It just speed runs that.

[Harry]

Actually, that's not true. I've dipped before and thrown up.

[Roan]

It got you pretty sick.

[Harry]

Close.

[Sass]

I dipped. I think I've told this story before, but I dipped one time. Like, I. I did it, like, when I was in, like, ninth grade, maybe. Like, everyone would do, like, the pouches before it was, like, the nicotine pouches.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Sass]

And we would do it, like, all the time. And I remember I did it once, and I remember, like, I should have thrown up, but I didn't. And I just. Stomachache for, like, three weeks straight after, like, every Day, I'll be like, is. Am I finally gonna get it out of the system? And then it just. Nothing would happen.

[Roan]

That's bad.

[Harry]

I should have thrown up last night.

[Sass]

Oh, yeah, Yeah.

[Harry]

I had a real problem. What?

[Sass]

You were dipping last night?

[Harry]

No, I.

[Roan]

Too much.

[Harry]

I bought a box, or the whole. The whole thing of the Toll House cookie dough. And then I put 14 cookies in the oven, and I ate all of them.

[Sass]

Yeah, that's.

[Harry]

And then I was like, I still want more sugar, but I need to be healthy.

[Sass]

So you're on the weed again, I'm assuming.

[Harry]

Then I ate an orange.

[Sass]

That's not a sober man.

[Harry]

Then I ate an orange, and then I was like, I'm still not satisfied on sugar. And I ate a grapefruit, and the grapefruit put me over the edge.

[Sass]

Really?

[Harry]

After the grape water? Dude, it's not.

[Sass]

But I mean, after 14 cookies.

[Harry]

There's rancid poison in grapefruit.

[Sass]

Yeah, that is true.

[Harry]

You know, in order for a grapefruit to be edible, you have to add 14 grams of sugar to it.

[Roan]

Grapefruit, like, that's nature's paint thinner.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Like, you could really scrub that and take the bark off a tree.

[Sass]

There's something with, like, people that have heart conditions. Like, once you.

[Harry]

You can allegedly. Lipitor. If you're on Lipitor, you're not meant to have it. But Gary Goldman had a great line. Grapefruits. He goes, the only reason God invented grapefruits was so that people would have something to compare the size of a tumor to.

[Sass]

It's hilarious.

[Roan]

It's an insane. It's an insane name for that fruit as well.

[Harry]

Hey, can we just do a quick. A quick shout out to the boys? You know, this is just. I'm just really proud today to be a Harvard lacrosse alone.

[Sass]

What's the. What's the. Wait, let me see the side.

[Harry]

The boys beat number one Syracuse today. Veritas means truth.

[Sass]

That was our XR5 Pro.

[Harry]

Yeah. I mean, I don't even. We used to have, like, the cpx.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Titaniums.

[Sass]

I forget what I had, but I know. I just remember the fan on the back was always like, that's cool.

[Harry]

Yeah, that. These. They've gotten so sick.

[Roan]

Who's on your team? The Predator. Why is the face so fucking.

[Sass]

I throw it on.

[Harry]

Yes. Try it on. Try it on.

[Roan]

Why is this. Why is it shaped like this? Every other helmet's not.

[Harry]

The boys beat Syracuse this weekend. Number one team in the country. Yeah. At Jordan Field. Shout out all the goals I scored at Jordan Field.

[Roan]

How many?

[Harry]

Well, to be honest with you, I think I had an assist against Kenesius. This is high tech, but they built. They built Jordan Field when I was like, a junior, so we only played on it my senior year.

[Sass]

Foreign.

[Harry]

Let's see your helmet tilt.

[Sass]

Well, you want it low, right?

[Harry]

Yeah, yeah. You want to not even be able to see out of the helmet. Why?

[Roan]

It looks swaggy.

[Harry]

Because that's way cooler.

[Sass]

Yeah, it looks sick.

[Harry]

If kids would walk out of the tunnel like that. You're like, that kid's gonna be a problem. That kid's only shooting from his hip. There's no chance he's shooting overhand.

[Sass]

You start to throw it on round, I want to see your tilt.

[Harry]

Oh, he's struggling. There you go. Let's see how Ron's helmet tilt. Yeah. I don't know.

[Sass]

Solid. But you're. No, you're. It's. You have no tilt.

[Roan]

Yeah, I have a big head.

[Harry]

I have a big head.

[Sass]

I mean, that is painful.

[Harry]

This thing doesn't fit me at all.

[Roan]

Meanwhile, Sass, put that on like he was you.

[Sass]

Perfect.

[Roan]

Dropping a hat on a bedpost that was swiveling around your head. What the.

[Harry]

Shout out, Bean head. Shout out. Harvard lacrosse toppling number one Syracuse.

[Sass]

That's huge.

[Harry]

Coach Byrne and the boys. This is the year.

[Roan]

Hey, dude, you know, I want to invite all. I want to invite the whole team onto the pod, dude.

[Harry]

I mean, can we. Let's just.

[Roan]

All of them can.

[Sass]

We might have to invite the women's team.

[Harry]

Yeah, yeah. It's a program. Let's be honest with you. But they would impeach me. I went and spoke to the team this year. Yeah.

[Sass]

Did they give you the helmet then?

[Harry]

They gave it to me, yes. As a result of that. As a nice present from that.

[Sass]

Tell them to send more gear.

[Harry]

They will. Whether it's just Harvard athletics, not lacrosse specifically.

[Sass]

No, we can do lacrosse specifically.

[Harry]

I think we're a Harvard lacrosse program.

[Sass]

I mean, I don't know if you know, but, like, back in my. Everyone always says I wear the same clothes all the time. I've done that my entire life. When I was really young, like fifth grade, it was a Harvard sweatshirt every day.

[Harry]

Damn.

[Roan]

I think Harvard is one of the few colleges that you can rep, and it's not even like you're supporting that college. And I find the same thing in the pros. Like, there's some pro teams. It's like if you wear a Yankees hat or like a Bulls jacket or something like that. It's not even like you're supporting the Yankees or the Bulls. It's like, beyond that.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Roan]

With Harvard, you're just, like, supporting knowledge.

[Harry]

It's style. Yeah.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Can I put this here, or is that okay? We're okay with that. Boys beat Syracuse this weekend. I mean, truly unbelievable result. They were 13th in the country going into the game. Syracuse was one number one.

[Roan]

Are you serious?

[Harry]

And they beat him 13:12. Unbelievable. I think that means Harvard's going to be, like, top five.

[Sass]

That's crazy.

[Harry]

I think they're going to be top five now.

[Sass]

You should go to a game.

[Harry]

We can go when they play Princeton. If they're playing Princeton. At Princeton this year. That's close.

[Sass]

Is Princeton close?

[Harry]

It's an hour we go out there.

[Roan]

Drop rod.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Drop line.

[Sass]

Yeah, drop line. Catch a game.

[Roan]

That sounds so nice.

[Harry]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Roan]

Give him a pep talk.

[Sass]

Yeah, why not?

[Harry]

I like that.

[Roan]

Fish day.

[Harry]

Yeah. The boys. The boys are buzzing, though, I'm telling you. What a team. So proud. You know, they had belief, like, Coach Byrne came in a few years ago, turned the program around, had to get all of his recruits in. So I think this is his first year where the whole team is comprised of his recruits. I'm a huge coach. Burn guy.

[Roan]

How's Hopkins this year? How's Salisbury? How's the D3 schools?

[Harry]

I don't know. I think the Hopkins. Well, Hopkins is one. Is D1.

[Roan]

Oh, they're D1?

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Salisbury's D3.

[Harry]

I think Salisbury's D2, actually.

[Sass]

How's Michigan?

[Harry]

They should probably be good. Maryland's always the perennial sort of powerhouse now.

[Sass]

Yeah. They have the cool uniforms.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Quinnipiac still putting up numbers? Oh, yeah.

[Harry]

They were always a team. We would put on our schedule so that the Scrubs could play.

[Sass]

Oh, really?

[Harry]

Quinnipiac was. Q Pack, was terrible. Damn dog.

[Roan]

Really?

[Harry]

I scored against Q Pack my senior year.

[Roan]

What'd you hit him with?

[Harry]

I remember Danny. I threw a pass, like skip pass over to me up top, right? I caught it right in the window and just uncorked one. And it was stick side high, but it was so fast that the goalie couldn't get his stick up to catch it. I mean, I had a cannon.

[Sass]

Did you have a. You ever get a bat behind the back end?

[Harry]

Not in a. Not in a game. I. I mean, no, not. Not in a. Not in a college game.

[Roan]

I think one of our sisters from UNC did that yesterday.

[Harry]

Did she?

[Roan]

Sports center top 10 is number 8.

[Sass]

I think one of my buddies from high school Played lacrosse in college. Actually, a couple of my friends played lacrosse in college, but one of them had. He had, like, a sick behind the back goal. They put it on, like, all the Instagram accounts.

[Harry]

Cool. Who do you play for?

[Sass]

I don't know.

[Roan]

That's not your friend?

[Harry]

Doesn't sound like a friend friend.

[Sass]

Like a. Like a friend, but, like, not like

[Harry]

you didn't even know where he went to college.

[Sass]

Tied, to be honest. No friend. You know, like a good. Like a school friend.

[Harry]

Every single friend in my life, I know where they went to school. Every friend of mine.

[Sass]

We had Covid. And there. People moved.

[Harry]

That's a fair point.

[Roan]

No, it's not. I know where everyone. Friend of mine went to school.

[Harry]

So do I.

[Sass]

None of your friends had to leave school second year?

[Roan]

Yeah, they all went to State. Every one of them went to Penn State. That's how I know.

[Sass]

Should have known. Should have known.

[Roan]

I don't know where they all work, though. I don't know where all my friends work. Do you feel like you know where

[Harry]

your friends work right now? Yeah. No, because my friends are all just. I just. I just say they work in money. What does my friend do? Money.

[Roan]

That's probably accurate.

[Harry]

He gets paid. That's it. He works for the money people.

[Sass]

I got Bo moved to Alabama. Did I tell you guys that?

[Harry]

No. What? I thought he was gonna work here. What the hell?

[Sass]

Beau lives in Birmingham now.

[Harry]

Why?

[Sass]

I don't know.

[Harry]

Did he take up with the Klan?

[Roan]

Birmingham's actually a charming little booming city. Yeah.

[Sass]

One of his buddies moved down there from Denver, but his buddy is from Mississippi, so it's, like, not that much of a difference. I don't know. Bo claims to like it. I think he'll be back in, like, a month.

[Harry]

What's he doing, man?

[Sass]

He wants to get his pilot license.

[Harry]

What? What? And that's the place for that.

[Sass]

It's like, there. Like it. I think it's. Arizona is the place for that.

[Harry]

Typically, you got to put me in. I mean, I have Bo's number, but I need to have a. I need to have.

[Sass]

You honestly should. I think we should have, like, a sit down. You talk to Beau and Matt, and just like, let's.

[Harry]

Both of them. Both of them are drifting, I think.

[Sass]

I think both of them need to talk.

[Harry]

All right. And I appreciate that. You do agree that I should be the one.

[Sass]

Oh, yeah. I mean, I've tried everything.

[Harry]

I'm.

[Sass]

I'm out of. I'm out of options. Saying to them, I tell them I'm I tell. I mean, I told. I told him my opinions.

[Roan]

What were they?

[Sass]

I just said. I was like, you're being a idiot.

[Roan]

You're throwing your life away.

[Sass]

Yeah. I was like, move to New York. It'll be fun.

[Roan]

Yeah. Hopefully one day I wake up and you're just not here.

[Sass]

Yeah, exactly.

[Harry]

I don't know. I mean, look, I don't know if moving. Moving to New York.

[Sass]

I don't know if moving to New York's the right.

[Harry]

I don't know if that's the right thing for them.

[Sass]

But I also said there's. And I don't want to. Like, I mean, I don't know enough about Birmingham to really shit on it too much.

[Harry]

I do, but.

[Roan]

No, but downtown Birmingham's nice. It's cute as fuck.

[Harry]

Come on, you don't think so? I've never even. I've never been.

[Sass]

He told me already that I don't

[Harry]

know anything about Birmingham, but I know everything about Birmingham.

[Sass]

He told me already that there's, like, neighborhoods that he's drinking, driven through, that people are like, you can't go there.

[Harry]

Yeah, of course.

[Sass]

Bad.

[Roan]

Well, why, why can't he go there?

[Sass]

I don't know. You just want. I think he just wanted like his own place. Like, he's paying like. He's paying like 500amonth for like a house.

[Harry]

Yeah, yeah. A trap house.

[Sass]

Yeah. So, I mean, I guess that's. He got a seven.

[Roan]

He should have moved to Philly.

[Harry]

He got. Oh, he got a 70 inch TV. You know, they don't have. They don't have those anywhere other than Birmingham.

[Sass]

I mean, he's got it. He's got a good pad, I'll give him that.

[Harry]

He's got a solid streets in Birmingham.

[Sass]

He's got a solid padd. He's got a yard.

[Roan]

He lives in his tv.

[Harry]

What. What good is that if, you know you have to take three flights to see your friends?

[Sass]

Yeah, yeah.

[Roan]

No, there's direct to Birmingham. You get flying to Birmingham, drive to Tuscaloosa, it's like an hour.

[Sass]

Golly, dude, I really don't know. But, yeah, he's out there now. So the New York dream is dead temporarily.

[Roan]

I thought he was gonna work here.

[Sass]

Yeah, he didn't get hired.

[Harry]

If you told me that he had moved to Montana or Wyoming or Colorado, I would have said, great, he's already done it.

[Sass]

I don't think he's ever gonna live somewhere for a long time.

[Harry]

He's a nomad.

[Sass]

I think he's just gonna hop from place to place.

[Harry]

Does he get restless?

[Sass]

I don't know what it is, but I think it was like he just didn't want to be at home anymore. And it was like, that he could afford to live there, and one of his buddies lives there.

[Harry]

Why doesn't he move to another country?

[Sass]

He thought about doing that. He was gonna move to. He was gonna live in Kenya for a minute.

[Harry]

Oh, great.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Sass]

That's the thing. You can't get through to one boy's law. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Roan]

Kenya. He doesn't know what he wants, so he said, I'll go to Birmingham instead. That's racist.

[Harry]

Thought about Kenya, and I remember there's too many black people.

[Roan]

What the fuck?

[Sass]

I've only been to Alabama once, and I went to Huntsville. And, like, I mean, I don't. Again, I don't want to talk too much on Alabama because, again, I've only been there once. But, like. Like, yeah, it's like, they're racist for sure.

[Roan]

Black people aren't.

[Harry]

No.

[Sass]

Yeah, bro, I was. I went to. Me and Mook went to a restaurant in Huntsville. They were literally, like. This was the. Like, there was a white side.

[Harry]

No way, bro. You're talking about segregation. Yes, it was. There a different line.

[Sass]

It, like, it's not enforced, but, like, they don't. There was.

[Harry]

There's no mingling.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

What if we went. What if Beau was sort of like the reverse Martin Luther King and sort of healed the racial divide in Birmingham?

[Sass]

So actually, that would be big.

[Roan]

Birmingham.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Let's go down to Birmingham, drop a line down there, maybe fish a little.

[Sass]

Wow.

[Harry]

I like that.

[Sass]

We have been talking about the fishing out there. I think it's a lot of. A lot of smallmouth bass.

[Harry]

Boeing Ham.

[Roan]

Birmingham sounds nice. What the Is. What's he gonna do down there? Like, be a soccer coach or working?

[Sass]

No, I think he got, like, a sales job down there, and then he's gonna do the flight.

[Roan]

Flight school, a little offshore.

[Sass]

He already's done, like, two. Two classes. He's flown twice.

[Harry]

Wow.

[Sass]

Pretty crazy.

[Harry]

What's he flying?

[Sass]

Tiny, like, Cessna planes. But he said the first day the. There's one. It's called, like, the Discovery program or some like that. Like, you get, like, your first class on, like, a discount just to, like, see if you like it. And he said, like, day one, like, he did. Like, they were like, you're doing it all. Like, he had to, like, take off and land the plane.

[Roan]

Do you. Do you remember when they said that guys from 911 went to flight school, but they just they left skip the days when you had to land.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Roan]

So what do they do on the days when they learn to take off focused.

[Sass]

I mean, I guess really they didn't have to be there for that either though, because the pilots took off. Yeah.

[Roan]

So. But, but I mean on the day

[Sass]

wasn't hijacked the planes before, before takeoff and they were like, yeah, this is DL 1083 looking for clearance takeoff.

[Roan]

But, but they. On the days they were in the air, how did they get on the ground?

[Harry]

They were.

[Sass]

I think they were all in flight sims, weren't they?

[Roan]

Oh, they were just in sims.

[Sass]

I mean, maybe they weren't. I don't know. I don't really understand. I don't really think they had to actually go into depth in, in that much depth in those classes.

[Roan]

I just didn't know that like landing was like week three. Like you'd think they'd teach you a little bit of landing right off.

[Sass]

Yeah, yeah.

[Roan]

A little bit of get off, a little bit of.

[Sass]

Dude. I saw a video this morning of one of those like at home flight simulators. Those things look so fucking sick. I think if I got one. I don't know if I would ever leave it if I got one of those. When they've got like the surround TVs.

[Roan]

Is that what PFT is working with?

[Sass]

I don't know if he has that advanced of one, but he has a pretty solid one for sure.

[Roan]

You ever fly?

[Harry]

No, I don't have a whole lot of interest.

[Sass]

I don't know why it's him.

[Harry]

That's just one of those things that hasn't grabbed me either.

[Sass]

I have zero interest.

[Harry]

And frankly, cars don't grab me that much either. And I'm someone who likes fancy things. We all know that. And I wonder if that bug is just coming or if I'm for whatever reason immune to it. I don't care about driving.

[Roan]

I think you have crazy impulses. And you know that deep down. And so you're like, probably not.

[Harry]

I have one ability to stave off an impulse.

[Roan]

No, I'm saying you have. You're like an impulsive person in some ways. Totally a risk taker.

[Harry]

Totally.

[Roan]

And I think that you're. There's probably deep down inside of you something that's just like. That's probably not something I want to even like have in my hands as an impulsive guy.

[Harry]

Oh, maybe true. I mean, I think that cars are just the, the most expensive hobby.

[Sass]

Yeah, I think that's what like if you get into that, then you're just. Your life's over, you're toast.

[Harry]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Sass]

Unless you have like Jerry Seinfeld money.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Sass]

And you can just but have a garage.

[Harry]

I don't need to collect cars. I'm saying I won't even allow myself to have something moderately nice. And maybe that sounds crazy because I have a Tesla, but the Tesla I Bought is a 2018 Model 3 that I bought from my parents.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

With like 120, 000 miles on it.

[Sass]

Yeah, yeah.

[Harry]

And I don't need anything more than that.

[Sass]

I mean it also probably has to do with the fact that you live in New York City.

[Harry]

Yeah, exactly.

[Sass]

If you lived in like la.

[Harry]

I wonder. It's such a status symbol there.

[Sass]

You got to drive everywhere in la.

[Harry]

Yeah. I will say when you get a someone, if you've driven someone's nice car and you have those cooling seats.

[Sass]

Oh, I don't know if I've ever seen that.

[Harry]

Is something that I could be pretty happy with.

[Sass]

I like the heated. I like the heated steering wheel.

[Harry]

That's nice too. The heated steering wheel in the winter. But then the cooling seats. Does your Lexus have cooling seats?

[Roan]

It has both. I'll turn them on simultaneously and shock my body into ketosis.

[Harry]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Roan]

Amazing. Yeah, it is nice.

[Harry]

That's really.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Roan]

If you hold the hot steering wheel and get a blast of undercarriage.

[Harry]

Golly, dude.

[Roan]

And the massage. And the massage too. On the seats.

[Sass]

You got the massage too.

[Harry]

Oh my God.

[Sass]

You were talking on Alexis.

[Roan]

He recanted.

[Harry]

I, I big Alexis.

[Roan]

Knocked on his door to get Alexis.

[Harry]

I'm gonna get Alexis Texas. Yeah.

[Roan]

You sure get Alexis Texas.

[Sass]

I mean that's pretty crazy.

[Roan]

You got. You would be in the lap of luxury if you ever drove that thing that. No wonder I'm fucking swerving off the road. It's like hitting the right spot. No wonder I'm a shitty driver. I'm just like, oh yeah.

[Sass]

How many guests do you guys plan on having on hooping and hollering? This looks like a full on like, like this is like one of those pods.

[Roan]

What do you mean?

[Sass]

You get like 17 dudes on that couch.

[Harry]

Are you guys adding couches? Are there more couches now?

[Sass]

Isn't this a two man show? Why do you guys have five couch couches?

[Roan]

Well, I'm going to be laying down.

[Harry]

Are your co hosts the Balls?

[Roan]

Yeah, they really might be. They have their own podcast, the Balls. The Ball Brothers. But Lamello's not on it. How about Team USA Hockey?

[Sass]

Yeah. Did you guys watch the whole Thing?

[Harry]

Yeah, same.

[Roan]

I watched the end of the game.

[Sass]

I wish I regretted it, to be honest. I had a long night. Had a long day. If I knew I was going to be streaming until midnight, I definitely wouldn't have Woke up at 7. I don't wake up at 7. No, it was 8. Yeah, but I wanted to be mentally ready.

[Roan]

Why would you just. You, like, live next to a tv?

[Sass]

Well, I woke up, I went and got some coffee, got a croissant.

[Roan]

You did?

[Sass]

Yeah, I had to stock up on before the storm.

[Harry]

Is that what you're eating for breakfast?

[Sass]

Coffee and a croissant? Yeah, occasionally.

[Harry]

Yeah. Okay.

[Sass]

Not every day. I had a coffee and a granola bar.

[Harry]

That's not judgment. It's. That was judgment trying to ascertain your stomach problems.

[Sass]

I mean, I don't have like. I'm not like slamming croissants seven days a week. I just. I get a croissant because I'm like, I have to have something in my stomach.

[Harry]

Where do you get it? Is it. You get a good one.

[Sass]

Yeah, I go to a coffee shop.

[Harry]

Okay.

[Roan]

Is it one around the corner to the left? I think that's. That one's awesome. That's a nice ass coffee shop.

[Sass]

It's fine.

[Harry]

It's okay.

[Sass]

It's fine. They're a little too.

[Harry]

A little?

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

There's one.

[Sass]

I don't gotta say it.

[Harry]

There's one. There's a coffee shop not far from you that I think it's called don't feed the alligators.

[Sass]

Oh, I know. I think I've heard of that.

[Harry]

That looks really nice. But more importantly, there is a croissant bakery near you that is a destination croissant bakery.

[Sass]

Really?

[Harry]

And I think that croissants are one of those things like pizza, where the variance in good to just regular.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Is so great that it's worth walking the extra block or two. Check that out to get a really good one.

[Sass]

I'll have to check that out.

[Harry]

I'll get the name for it. Would you do me a favor and just try it? Yeah, sure. Cool.

[Sass]

The crazy crocodile.

[Harry]

Well, I don't know if they make a good one. I'll find out what the really good croissant is.

[Roan]

I don't know if he's trying that, Francis. I feel like he's giving you lip service right now.

[Harry]

We have to fill the time somehow. If not throwing useless suggestions into the suggestion box of Harry. That is a bottomless trash can that will never be opened. It's got the lock on it and he Threw the key into the fucking river.

[Sass]

I will say I think my caffeine tolerance is, like, the highest I think maybe anyone's ever been.

[Roan]

Really.

[Sass]

I. I don't feel it at all anymore. Like, I. I, like, literally, like, if you. If I had a cup of coffee six months ago, I would have to, like, leave the studio.

[Roan]

You gotta get a darker. You got to switch to a darker roast.

[Sass]

Dude, I've been drinking, like, coffee in the morning and then like. Like multiple energy drinks.

[Roan]

Maybe you need a tolerance break.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Probably just reset your. Because there's.

[Harry]

Or.

[Roan]

Or you ever. With the yerba mate?

[Sass]

Yeah. That is literally like meth.

[Roan]

That is insane. It's like, if caffeine's not doing it for you anymore, you switch to latte and your chest starts coming out like a cartoon character.

[Sass]

I can't. I can't. I can't drink that. They have that. They had that in the stand green room for a minute, and I was like. I had like a. Two sips of one and had to go on stage after. And I was like, that was such a mistake, Harry.

[Harry]

I'm so pleased at how close this is.

[Sass]

How close? Well, don't say it.

[Harry]

I'll say. I'll just say the bakery name.

[Roan]

Yeah. Didn't you. You already said it, didn't you?

[Harry]

No, I haven't yet.

[Sass]

What's the bakery name?

[Harry]

I don't care if you said it's fine. It's. It's Patisserie. Claude.

[Roan]

And how.

[Harry]

Claude Bakery.

[Roan]

How close is it?

[Harry]

Two blocks.

[Sass]

How is it.

[Harry]

What's it called?

[Roan]

We've triangulated him.

[Sass]

What's it called?

[Harry]

Claude Bakery. C L, A, U, D, E. Like the AI. I don't know. Claude Bakery. Unbelievably close to you.

[Sass]

Claude.

[Harry]

Yeah, Bakery.

[Sass]

Claude.

[Harry]

It's on West 4th.

[Roan]

Isn't. Is Claude a restaurant of its own?

[Sass]

Oh, this is a. This is a chip in a pot, brother.

[Harry]

There you go. Chip in a pot.

[Sass]

Harry, this is a drive and then maybe a three wood. This is his three blocks.

[Harry]

Oh, God help you. Well, I mean, it's two and a half blocks.

[Sass]

Let's think here, though. That's the place that I go to.

[Harry]

I know.

[Sass]

And that's where I live.

[Harry]

I know. Can you just. Just trust me. Yeah. If you have one of these.

[Sass]

I think Tyler's closer to Claude.

[Harry]

If you have one of these.

[Roan]

And by the way, now we know where they.

[Harry]

I continue to mispronounce croissants. For your. Your. For the sake of the pot.

[Sass]

Why. How do you say It.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Roan]

And how would you say fish?

[Harry]

Poisson.

[Roan]

Poisson. Fish is poisson. But a croissant is croissant.

[Sass]

You know what I'm really. I really wish we had a good spot is a kolache spot.

[Roan]

Kolaches.

[Harry]

What's that?

[Sass]

Oh, that's a croissant, brother.

[Roan]

That's like a Polish Texas, eastern European, southern United States hybrid treat. Whoa.

[Sass]

It's good. They got every. I mean, they pretty much. They'll just take any food and they'll put it into a croissant or like a pastry. So, like, the.

[Roan]

The.

[Sass]

The most famous one, I think, is the hot dog.

[Roan]

Are you talking about a kil bosnik or a kolachi?

[Sass]

They're all. They're the same. The. The hot dog one's pretty good. But then we had, like, pizza ones, burgers we had. Then they make, like. They make sweet ones, sweet treats.

[Roan]

There's a town called West Texas that only sells kolaches. It's the only place where it's, like, basically their only export. They're famous for them. And there's like, It's a.

[Sass]

It's right near Waco.

[Roan]

One horse town.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Sass]

We stayed in Waco and we ate. We ate clotches.

[Harry]

What were you doing in Waco?

[Roan]

We were going for Colossus.

[Harry]

Oh, wow.

[Roan]

Okay, Cool. A video on kolaches.

[Harry]

They're good. I went to Pittsburgh this weekend.

[Sass]

Oh, yeah? Any clutches there?

[Harry]

No, I don't think so. But I've only been to Pittsburgh in the warm weather months, and I've always been very fond of it. It's really green. Where were you?

[Sass]

The Improv?

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Sass]

Did you stay near the Improv?

[Harry]

No, I stayed downtown, which is a hike.

[Sass]

Yeah. It's a mistake. It's like 30 plus minutes.

[Harry]

It was 20. I'd rather be downtown and suck up the Ubers back and forth than Homestead for the whole time.

[Sass]

Yeah. I just wall. I would just walk from the. I stayed at the hotel. Like, on the highway.

[Harry]

Yeah. I mean, I don't like. I don't like being in a hotel all weekend away from everything.

[Sass]

No, no, no one does.

[Roan]

You want to be in the city center, you're saying?

[Harry]

Yeah, pretty much. I was at the Kimpton Monaco, which was nice.

[Sass]

I mean, if you're like. When you're in, like, a hotel like that like, all weekend and you're doing shows, I feel like it just makes. It just, like, puts way too much, like, pressure on you. You're like, this is. You're like. Well, I'm really Building up this show.

[Harry]

Oh, because there's so much time to kill.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Sass]

You're like, everything is just building up to this show.

[Harry]

Yeah. I mean, I used to just sit in the room, but now I can't do that anymore.

[Sass]

Get out, stretch the legs.

[Harry]

I walked around and. And I made a joke at the show where I was like, I feel like you guys haven't changed anything since Bane left. And it truly feels that way in downtown Pittsburgh in the winter.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

The city is a little. I mean, they're struggling. The homeless are sleeping in the middle of the sidewalk. They're not under overhangs or cover or they're not in the shadows. They're not, you know, in ATM vestibules there. You got to step around them. Yeah, yeah.

[Roan]

Pittsburgh is also weirdly built. Like an M.C. escher painting, where it's all uphill. Like, no matter what direction you're going in Pittsburgh, you're always going uphill. It's like, what the is that? How do they build this?

[Harry]

Yeah, it's like a trick.

[Roan]

You get to the top, you're at the bottom.

[Sass]

Did you see my. My mural at the Pittsburgh Improv?

[Harry]

No, but Mike told me. He was like, we gotta get your picture up there next to Harry's. I haven't seen that.

[Sass]

Mike said that there's like a massive photo of me at the Pittsburgh Improv.

[Harry]

Damn. I didn't see it. That's cool. They were so nice.

[Sass]

Yeah, they're the best.

[Harry]

Shows were amazing. The crowds were awesome.

[Sass]

That's one of my favorite clubs I've ever.

[Harry]

It was really, really good.

[Sass]

Staffers. Unbelievable.

[Harry]

They were great.

[Roan]

Well, they get it in Pittsburgh.

[Sass]

They get it.

[Roan]

And everybody can have like 12 beers in Pittsburgh and not even be that drunk.

[Harry]

Yeah, dude, It's a drinking town.

[Roan]

Drinking beers. Just like straight up beers.

[Harry]

Yeah. It smelled like farts. And it's a huge showroom. I mean, the place is huge.

[Sass]

Yeah, it's a big. It's a big room.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Sass]

It's fun.

[Harry]

Yeah. Thank you for everyone who came to those shows.

[Roan]

Cadix from Pittsburgh, doesn't that contextualize him so much more?

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Sass]

Aren't you like. Oh, I thought he was from Indiana,

[Roan]

to be honest, but no, it's like he is even wilder. No, no, no. Indiana is like a conserved, like, polite place.

[Sass]

Fake, Fake. Polite.

[Harry]

People drove down to the shows from Buffalo and that geography baffles me. I'm like, buffalo? I would have thought that that drive was 25 hours. You drove from Buffalo to Pittsburgh?

[Sass]

How far is it?

[Harry]

I don't know.

[Roan]

Aren't you. Aren't you playing Buffalo ever?

[Harry]

Huh? Three and a half. Three and a half hours is nothing.

[Sass]

Yeah. It's not terrible.

[Harry]

It's closer than to. They're closer than we are to Boston.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

No madness.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

And, like, I know West Virginia is not that far from there. I would have thought West Virginia was 10 states away from Pittsburgh. Yeah.

[Sass]

Only know that, though, because I know that, like, people from West. Like, Nick's a Steelers fan, right.

[Roan]

He's got a. Yeah. He's got a little bit of a Yinzer draw to him.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Roan]

I'm trying to think who else from barstools, like, secret. Like, the people from Pittsburgh in your life are always like, oh, like, I didn't realize he's from Pittsburgh. It almost like, sneaks up.

[Sass]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Roan]

It's a nice. It's a great city, though.

[Harry]

I do like the city. I mean, the real treasure of the city is their golf course.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Okwoka.

[Sass]

Did you play it?

[Harry]

I've played.

[Sass]

Was snowing this weekend.

[Harry]

No, I think it was open. But I mean, Oakmont is top five golf course in the world, probably.

[Sass]

Is it right in Pittsburgh?

[Harry]

Kind of in a suburb a little bit, but not far. And it's where they played the US Open there this year. I mean, it's. It's one of the most iconic US Open venues. It's similar to pebble beach, where, like, it comes back there every seven years or something like that. And there have been some iconic US Opens played at it. The most recent one was just there.

[Sass]

Damn.

[Harry]

One of the hardest sports.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Roan]

We should go to Pittsburgh, maybe drop a line.

[Harry]

We could play Oakmont. Oakmont's. Oakmont's treasure. Yeah, it's a treasure.

[Sass]

They got fish in the. In the water hazards.

[Harry]

I don't know. No, they don't. They don't have any water hazards at Oakvan. Correct.

[Sass]

No water.

[Harry]

Not one.

[Sass]

You're telling me this is a top five course in America?

[Roan]

Yeah, dry course.

[Sass]

And it's dry.

[Roan]

You're stepping around homeless people.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Sass]

That's why it's so tough.

[Roan]

They'll run off with your ball.

[Harry]

There is a. I think there's sort of a lake through the trees on 16 tee box or 15 tee box or something.

[Sass]

But that's where they're keeping them.

[Harry]

I don't know.

[Sass]

The monsters, the homeless, the big fish.

[Harry]

They say that all the rivers in Pittsburgh are bad.

[Sass]

Like, you. Like, you can't contaminated swim in them.

[Harry]

They're all pretty polluted.

[Sass]

Well, the fishing in Pennsylvania Top tier. Yeah, some of the best in the country.

[Harry]

Do you think that at some point in the future of human civilization, all of our rivers will restore themselves, too? No cleanliness?

[Sass]

No.

[Harry]

Well, we're not allowed. I mean, maybe we are.

[Sass]

I think new rivers would appear, if anything.

[Harry]

Are we dump. We're not still dumping chemicals and waste and stuff in them, are we?

[Sass]

Oh, they definitely still are.

[Harry]

Really?

[Sass]

Yeah. Not like all of them. Like, not most.

[Harry]

You're telling me that, like, fertilizer companies are still just, like, paving the way for the next Aaron Brockovich movie? Yeah, probably, like, guys are out there fucking nosebleeds and shit.

[Sass]

I'm pretty sure, like, the AI companies just, like, dump their excess water into

[Harry]

growing up with webbed feet, that kind of shit.

[Roan]

Third eyes. Yeah. They're thinking as long as. As long as China is on this earth, there will be.

[Harry]

Well, yeah, China is.

[Sass]

I'm pretty sure, like, at the end of every month, Elon Musk has to, like, take the black tar out of Grok and he just pours it straight into, like, Lake Tahoe or something.

[Roan]

Just scraping it out with a spatula. Yeah, we need a Chinese. Aaron Brockovich is really what we.

[Sass]

That would be huge. Yeah. Ellen.

[Harry]

Ellen Blockovich.

[Roan]

The Chinese girl be called Alan. There's way more Chinese names than that. You think that dudes in the US Will stop talking in the hockey accent now that the. The Canadians aren't top hockey guys anymore? No, hockey guys who. Who talk with a fake Canadian accent. Do you think that that will end?

[Sass]

No, no, definitely not. I think that might have been, if anything, that just fueled the fire.

[Roan]

Really?

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

And a big part of that, too, that people don't talk about is that, you know, all those guys that come up in hockey end up playing, I feel like, in the Midwest or in Canada. And the Midwest accent is starting to blend to Canada. Definitely. It's not that far off.

[Sass]

No, not at all.

[Roan]

Or you think the swaggiest guy on the team's, like, a Canadian guy who they're, like, really aspiring to be, and they're just all trying to talk like him. Or is it just all in the lingo of listening to. To spin chicklets and shit?

[Sass]

I think it's like the. The. The, like, the cool hockey guys all talk like that. Yeah, the best players. And, like, I think it's just you want to be the best, so you act like the best.

[Roan]

What's the lacrosse accent? Is it just perfect grammar?

[Harry]

You know, it's always so funny to me. Lacrosse is always the said this before, but lacrosse is always the sort of punchline of rich sport.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

And whenever someone says that to me, I'm like, you're poor.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Because I knew rich sports.

[Roan]

Oh, you're talking polo.

[Harry]

You. The.

[Sass]

You.

[Harry]

You think lacrosse is the rich sport? That's your top of the mountain.

[Sass]

What are your top three?

[Harry]

Oh, my God. Dude, think of.

[Sass]

Do you have nascar?

[Harry]

You ever met a fencing kid?

[Sass]

No, never.

[Harry]

Like, a kid who's competitive in fencing?

[Sass]

Literally. No, never.

[Harry]

Or some of these Olympic sports where you're like, I'm not watching that.

[Sass]

No, I know. I totally agree with that.

[Harry]

Like, the kid who grows up and is good at that. You're like, get the billionaires. Horseback riding, equestrian, like, dressage.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

All that is outrageous money.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Anything to do with horses is crazy bobsledding. Well, I don't know about that.

[Sass]

I don't.

[Harry]

I actually don't know about.

[Sass]

No, no. I'd assume that's something that, like, I don't think you can just walk into a bob's like you and you're like, where's your sled at?

[Harry]

But do they even have. Are.

[Sass]

Does.

[Harry]

Does you know South Dakota have high school bobsled teams? No. No. All right. So you have to actually invent almost a. Pretty much an Olympic training program, which would presume to have a lot of expense behind it.

[Roan]

So the tracks are always just. The bobsleds are always at the tracks.

[Sass]

What do you mean?

[Roan]

No one's taking their bobsled home?

[Sass]

Oh, who knows? Sharpen the blades.

[Harry]

Yeah. The skids.

[Sass]

I mean, they definitely might.

[Roan]

So just. Tracks are stocks with bobsleds. I don't think you carry them.

[Harry]

No.

[Sass]

I think you'd have to have your custom.

[Roan]

I guess in cool runnings, they're like, carrying the bobsled around.

[Sass]

Yeah. Also, what's the one where it's just like, the one. The luge.

[Harry]

Do you know how. You know, coming back to this point. But at least lacrosse made an effort. I remember there would always be these inner city lacrosse outreach programs, like, you know, nonprofit organizations where coaches would go into the inner city and provide equipment and try to, like, strike up a game. You never see fucking polo ponies walking around the hood. You don't see a whole lot of, like, jumps being set up for fucking horseback riding in Harlem.

[Sass]

Yeah, yeah. No, that is true. I mean, I think, like, I'm thinking right off the bat, richest sports, horseback riding.

[Roan]

You threw NASCAR out there. I think nascar.

[Sass]

I think it's nascar.

[Harry]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Sass]

Like, you can't just Formula one To nascar, go kart, all that. How do you get in? It's not. You just go to your dad one day and you're like, I want to race.

[Harry]

No, you start that, you start go kart racing, though. Carting is how the kids do it.

[Sass]

It.

[Roan]

That's why they're all juniors, too. It's like, because they're driving from the time they're three years old. Dad's a nascar. NASCAR driver already.

[Harry]

Dude, by the way, hockey is pretty expensive, too.

[Sass]

Yeah, hockey is definitely expensive.

[Harry]

Ice time is insane.

[Sass]

Well, it's not the ice time. It's the gear.

[Harry]

I thought it was ice time. Oh, figure skating is really, really expensive.

[Sass]

Yeah, well, when you play hockey, the team gets the ice time.

[Harry]

I get it. But I'm saying, for that same note, figure skating, I, I, I. As far as I can tell, there's no, like, figure skating teams, so it's always one on one. I have a coach. I have a singular coach.

[Sass]

Yeah, I think that's how it works, but I don't know how that I'd assume that's, like, they get, like, a part of the ice. Unless you're at, like, the top level, then you probably just have your own rink. Yeah, we built a. We built a ice rink in our yard when I was younger.

[Harry]

That's cool.

[Sass]

Yeah, it was sick.

[Roan]

What'd you build it out of?

[Sass]

My dad did, like, you just, like, put a tarp down and then. Yeah, you put, like, a border with wood planks, and then you flood it.

[Harry]

That's cool.

[Roan]

Your dad. Everything I hear about your dad, he seems like he was such an engaged dad, like, he wanted you to succeed at hockey so much, was doing so much for you guys.

[Sass]

Yeah, I don't know. I mean, he definitely. When me and my older sister, or me and my older sister played sports, definitely. But then we really quickly realized that there probably wasn't a bright future in athleticism for anyone in our family.

[Harry]

Do you think your dad would like me?

[Sass]

Yeah. I mean, my dad likes everybody.

[Harry]

Well, no, come on. Would he really? I mean, do you think we would be friends?

[Sass]

Yeah, I'm sure you guys would get along.

[Roan]

Would he be one of your top guys? Like, would he be one of. Would you be one of Mr. S's top guys?

[Harry]

Yeah. Do you think he would. Do you think he'd approve of me more than Bo? No, he loves Bo.

[Sass]

Yeah, but does.

[Harry]

Does he know that Bo moved to Alabama and has kind of lost his way?

[Sass]

No, but he's. No.

[Roan]

Bo just has a head start. It's not your fault.

[Harry]

He's got a huge. How long would it take for me to overtake Bo in your dad's eyes? Years.

[Sass]

I don't know. He doesn't see Bo a lot.

[Harry]

Does your dad know how good of an influence I am on you?

[Sass]

No.

[Harry]

Does he think that I'm a better influence on you than Bo?

[Sass]

No.

[Harry]

Why not? Look at Bo.

[Sass]

Because Bo's not an influence on me at all.

[Harry]

Well, nor should he be.

[Roan]

I know his dad's the man because he actively keeps him from us. One time, I was at the same Bucks game as his dad, and he was keeping your dad. We couldn't meet him. He's like.

[Harry]

He's.

[Sass]

They were at the same Bucks game, and I was like. I'm not like, they. They were both in, like, areas that you couldn't get to. Rowan's, like, on the court, and my dad's in some, like, corporate box.

[Harry]

Why was your dad at a Bucks game?

[Sass]

Because he works in Wisconsin.

[Harry]

Does he?

[Sass]

Yeah. Or he did for a while. I don't think he does anymore.

[Harry]

Traveling back and forth.

[Sass]

That's why we moved to Wisconsin for, like, two months.

[Harry]

I remember that now.

[Roan]

Do you remember that?

[Sass]

But, yeah, they were at the same Bucks game together, and it was just.

[Roan]

And he kept us apart, and I was just like, bro, just like, let us correspond with each other. We'll probably have a lot of similarities.

[Sass]

Roan's texting me. He's like, tell your dad to come down to the court.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Sass]

And I was like, that. There's no way that's happening.

[Roan]

I would have gone to your dad.

[Sass]

I think I just asked for standing by the court. Like, which one's wrong?

[Harry]

Yeah. Well, yeah.

[Roan]

I mean, it would be so nice. I don't think that I was just like, connect this. I don't think it was like that. That. Out of bounds.

[Sass]

It was out of bounds.

[Harry]

Is the best. Is not the best chance. Look, I really would like to meet your dad.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Is the best chance for me to do that in Massachusetts.

[Sass]

I have no idea.

[Roan]

You'd have to find a way to get into his life consistently.

[Sass]

Like, my dad's in New York all the time.

[Roan]

Show up with, like, a. Like, your hockey gears.

[Harry]

Oh, yeah. I'd have to. I'd have to stage a meet cute.

[Roan]

Yes. And satisfy his. Want to have this athletic son.

[Harry]

Bump into him at Home Depot and be like, oh, shit. Are you buying a 20 by 20 tarp, too? Build a rink, Build a backyard and make a. Oh, shit. You don't happen to know the best wood to use to create the border. Right.

[Sass]

We didn't even have the. I had another friend who also. They built a rink every year. And theirs was like, it was nice, fine tuned. That was. It was like an actual hockey rink.

[Roan]

Oh, so your dad was just like, man, they're not building a ring. Build a rink. How. How good are the Johnsons?

[Sass]

We did it. We did it. I think we did it one or two years. And then my dad was like, we're not doing this again. Because it was. It was a lot of work, dude.

[Harry]

If I. If I ran into your dad at Home Depot and we started talking.

[Sass]

My dad probably hasn't been to a Home Depot in 15 years.

[Harry]

Yeah. But that's why he's not.

[Sass]

He. That was the last thing he's done with his hands was build that hockey rink.

[Harry]

Damn. Well, let's just play it out, right? Like, I think I know enough to win his, like, phone number from him.

[Sass]

Definitely not in a Home Depot.

[Harry]

I'd be like, you know, I'm building this ring for my son. But to be honest with you, I don't know if he. I don't know if he thinks. I don't know if he's putting in enough effort. And I. I'd imagine this might be our last year because I refuse to drive everywhere for my son to play hockey if. If his heart's not really in it.

[Sass]

It.

[Harry]

And he'd be like, boy, are you preaching to the choir.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Sass]

That was always a big one. Like, if you didn't. If you didn't want to skate on the rink outside, like, oh, so I just built the rink for nothing.

[Harry]

Exactly. Exactly. I. I know I'm hitting the nail on the head here.

[Sass]

And you feel like I. I just got home from school.

[Harry]

Yeah. And I'd be like, you know, my kid. My kids got a lot of promise and potential, but that, you know, instead of applying himself in school, he's just tweeting all the time.

[Sass]

Yes. Can't get off Twitter.

[Roan]

What did he want you to do, like, sprints on it?

[Sass]

No, I. I have no idea. I mean, we go skate with you sometimes. Yeah.

[Roan]

That's probably nice.

[Harry]

He's got a beautiful golf swing, but dad. No, My son. Oh, there's a me. I'm still talking to you.

[Sass]

He's got a fine. So you got a fine swing. Beautiful. Your dad.

[Roan]

You got a better swing than your dad.

[Sass]

Definitely. I got a better swing than most.

[Roan]

That's true. But I didn't know if you got it from your father. I Don't know if he served you

[Sass]

that butter self taught.

[Harry]

I'd like to meet your dad.

[Sass]

I think.

[Roan]

I think we should be able to find him. We should be able to get.

[Sass]

This was enough. The conversation was enough to never have that happen.

[Harry]

I mean, you get out to Milwaukee

[Roan]

there, it's like there's a hundred thousand people out there.

[Harry]

We'll go to a Bucks game and there's only so many boxes. Yeah, I'll find my way in.

[Sass]

Yeah, you'll find your way.

[Harry]

Like I'm sorry, I'm looking. Is there a Mr. Settle in this box?

[Roan]

See, I said Mr. S. Dude. I don't want to get us all his business. This out there now they could really find him. There's no one in Milwaukee.

[Harry]

And then, you know, if I ever ended, he. He'd bring me over to the house at some point for dinner and I'd just show up with like bundles of yarn.

[Sass]

Yeah. Yeah. For the knitting ladies. Yeah.

[Harry]

Huge.

[Sass]

You guys, I don't even think they. They don't do that anymore. It's just all there. It's all on tick tock now.

[Roan]

That's how they keep their mind sharp using their thumb stays off dementia. If you just scroll a lot.

[Harry]

Damn. That's it. There's no more knitting circles.

[Sass]

No, just tick tock. No, they still knit. My sister just. My sister knits too. My younger sister.

[Harry]

You think she would knit something for us? Like a hat?

[Sass]

She made a hat. She just made a hat.

[Roan]

How about in the Christmas season, some stockings so she could get a start now.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Sass]

Yeah. It would probably take a long time.

[Harry]

I know. I hope you know that like my. As silly as all of this sounds like I really do like your family.

[Sass]

You don't know any of them.

[Harry]

I know who they.

[Sass]

You've literally never met one of them.

[Harry]

I know who they made though.

[Sass]

No, no.

[Harry]

And you're pretty darn good.

[Sass]

Have you met it? Have you ever. You haven't even met any. In my family.

[Roan]

No, I haven't.

[Harry]

No. How.

[Sass]

Well, you met my dad.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Harry]

You met his dad?

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

How tall is he? Come on. Looks exactly like Sass. Now I need to meet this. This awesome guy.

[Sass]

No, no.

[Roan]

Yeah. I wonder what he looks like.

[Harry]

I'll. I'll introduce you to my dad. If you introduce me to your dad.

[Sass]

I think we just.

[Harry]

You want to do a home and home.

[Sass]

Yeah, we'll just do like a healthy meat in the middle with none. With none of that.

[Harry]

No dads.

[Sass]

No dads.

[Harry]

What if we introduced our dads to

[Sass]

each Other I wouldn't be opposed to that.

[Roan]

But how social are your guys's dads?

[Sass]

Not social.

[Roan]

Really?

[Harry]

No, My dad is like impossibly social. My dad is relentlessly social. My dad will. My dad will be walking off an airplane and like he'll match the pace of the person in front of him. Be like, where are you headed? My mom sends us. My mom will send me pictures of my dad waiting for baggage.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Where he is talking to like random people at the baggage claim and just be like, here he is talking to these two kids.

[Sass]

That's hilarious. Yeah, no, that's not what my. That's not like that at all.

[Harry]

He thinks. My dad thinks he's like an ambassador of the world and he's so, so chipper and so like upbeat and he just wants to get to know everybody and like he wants to, he wants to bring happiness.

[Sass]

I mean, that just sounds exactly like you.

[Harry]

That me?

[Sass]

Yeah. You're dead.

[Harry]

You're not your first day on the pod.

[Sass]

You're not talking to people on the jet bridge.

[Harry]

No, I don't, I don't. I'm actually very. I'm so different from my dad.

[Sass]

Everyone.

[Roan]

I'll strike up conversation.

[Harry]

Everyone.

[Sass]

Everyone thinks they're different.

[Roan]

He seems awesome.

[Harry]

Awesome. I don't talk to people.

[Sass]

You. You talked.

[Harry]

When have you ever seen me? Like when we went to.

[Sass]

Or when we went to Orlando. You were talking to all the guys waiting for their golf bags.

[Roan]

Oh, but that's me. That's a different. A golf guy.

[Harry]

They knew who they would come up to.

[Sass]

I don't knew that they knew you because you introduced yourself.

[Harry]

Francis Ellis, 4.7 index. How are you?

[Roan]

Oh, see you out there. Where are you playing this weekend?

[Harry]

That's what it was. Everybody, everybody knew from the Internet invitational because they were all golf people. Yeah, but if we're honest, think about this. When you and I split Ubers, whenever we land in a city to go do something together, you are the one talking to the Uber driver. And I'm silent.

[Sass]

Yeah, but that's by force because you. Because the Uber driver will talk and you're fine with just like. No one replies.

[Harry]

No, I just know you've got it because you're. You're the social one of the two of us.

[Sass]

Like a 40 second pause after the lady's like. So you guys are doing. He's doing hilarities.

[Harry]

I. I love cuz Harry. This is so true. I. I put him in the position of being the talker and it's so fun for me to Watch him have these meaningless conversations with Uber drivers in. In cities, you know, where it's. So you'll. You have to.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Roan]

You'll want a question.

[Sass]

Lingering.

[Harry]

No, I. I wouldn't. If I were alone in the Uber with the.

[Roan]

You do it to him. Yeah, Yeah.

[Harry]

I just know he's going to pick up the slack and I want him to do it.

[Roan]

Cuz he doesn't. He aids to be awkward.

[Sass]

I don't talk. I don't talk when I'm in Ubers by myself. I. I make it. No, like I put. I get in the car with the music already coming through the headphones so they know this guy can't hear you.

[Harry]

You're super polite though. Remember? Where was it that we were. Where did we do the co headlining where the woman picked us up? Yeah.

[Roan]

Clement Hilarities.

[Harry]

Yeah. Yeah. And her. Her Uber had all the lights and stuff in it, right? Right?

[Sass]

Oh, I don't know.

[Harry]

No, maybe not. No.

[Sass]

A little bit of a tinfoil hat.

[Harry]

Yeah, she. She was right.

[Sass]

She actually, I will say she ended up being right about everything.

[Harry]

I don't remember anything she said.

[Sass]

She was telling us about like the pizza gate and the Epstein stuff, and I was like, this. This lady's out of her mind.

[Harry]

Yeah, but you were, you were. You were urging her on.

[Sass]

Yeah, I was asking a lot.

[Harry]

You're like, who do you think's behind it? It's not Israel. Right?

[Roan]

You were.

[Sass]

Yeah, I was asking her her thoughts on it.

[Harry]

He was going back.

[Sass]

She ended up being right. So it's pretty crazy.

[Harry]

This woman can have a conversation with herself. She does not need anyone else.

[Sass]

Yeah, she. She can talk.

[Roan]

Have you guys watched that show Neighbors yet on hbo?

[Harry]

No.

[Sass]

I've heard it's really good though.

[Roan]

So good. But they just have all those people who just could like, talk to themselves and are just going to like, healing centers. It's amazing. It's so interesting. So well done.

[Sass]

I think I could talk for like, even like. I get like. I get like annoyed about having to like, talk all day. But then when I'm not talking, I just go home and I'm just making calls all day. I mean, I realized I just. I don't think I can like, sit by myself for that long.

[Harry]

Dude. I sit when I ride in the car for a long time now. I don't listen to anything anymore.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

I've stopped listening to anything at all.

[Sass]

But even when I'm like driving, I'm like, I call one of the. Call one of the fellows.

[Harry]

I will call People in the car. I like to do that. That I'm always calling my.

[Roan]

Why don't you listen to music or podcasts?

[Harry]

Can't. It's similar to how I can never find something to watch on TV anymore. I never really.

[Sass]

Yeah, I've kind of hit that. I. I don't. I haven't. I wouldn't say I've heard it all, but I go through phases where I'm like, I've heard it. I don't have a single song I want to hear right now.

[Harry]

I went through a great Olivia Dean phase, and then I beat that to death. And now I'm just not. I don't know, got nothing.

[Roan]

You should start listening to Stella Left.

[Sass]

He.

[Roan]

She'll get you right.

[Harry]

Still a lefty.

[Roan]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Harry]

Who. Who else have I been? Who do I. I was listening to.

[Sass]

I'm a little bit more of a. Like an alternate reggae. Like, a lot of. A lot of Sublime Everlast. I'm just kind of just.

[Harry]

I was listening to a lot of IDK and No id.

[Roan]

No id.

[Harry]

You know them Run.

[Roan]

It's a great producer.

[Harry]

Who. Kid. Who? Kid's got a lot of stuff that I like, like.

[Roan]

Oh, you're on a producer kick.

[Sass]

I don't really listen to, like, sad music anymore. I kind of just like, boxed all

[Roan]

of that out, you know, who has some crazy Brahms.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Roan]

I'm not familiar. Oh, my God.

[Harry]

Oh, wow. I like Brahms.

[Roan]

He has this lullaby.

[Sass]

Not for me.

[Roan]

It'll get your ass right to sleep.

[Sass]

Yeah, I don't like that. I don't like. I used to listen to a bunch of, like, you know, like, Bon Iver and. And like, all that, like, Phoebe Bridgers.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Sass]

All that sad stuff. And then I just hit a point where I was like, I don't really want to be sad, so let's throw on a little Sublime.

[Harry]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Sass]

Bro in the Morning Santeria. Yeah, exactly. That's how I'm starting my days now.

[Harry]

I mean.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

By the way, you talked about how you have. You have no. Caffeine doesn't affect you.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

You'll never do it, but it would mean a lot to me if I could make you a coffee for my new set up.

[Sass]

No. Because I'm sure I'll have one sip of that and I'll be sweating out of every crevice.

[Roan]

He doesn't overdo it.

[Harry]

You just do one.

[Sass]

I'm not a big espresso guy.

[Harry]

Well, you don't have to have espresso.

[Roan]

Get a cappuccino.

[Harry]

I'LL make you a latte or I'll. Or I'll make you an americano. Or I'm gonna get a nice drip set up.

[Sass]

I could do an americano.

[Harry]

You'd have an Americano.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Yeah, that would be great.

[Roan]

Yeah. Americano is so much worse than drip coffee.

[Sass]

Yeah, it's been his for sure.

[Roan]

Americano is. That's why if you're going. If you're getting, like, espresso, you. And you don't want that, you might as well just go get a cappuccino, get some. Some weight to it. Like, an americano is so watered down that it doesn't have any life to it.

[Sass]

Yeah, maybe so.

[Harry]

Well, then I'm gonna get the Weber workshops bird or something like that. And it's like a pour over type situation.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

And I'm gonna. I'll be able to make you really good because I have amazing beans right now.

[Roan]

Harry. You know, I went over to his house and he made me an espresso.

[Sass]

This morning?

[Roan]

No, last week.

[Harry]

Yeah. It's chocolatey. Perfect crema.

[Roan]

It's not gonna have you sweating. It has this really nice crema. Really perfect crema.

[Harry]

You love the crema.

[Roan]

It's fine. It'll have you going nuts.

[Sass]

I think the last time I had an espresso, I was in France and I was really hungover and I didn't really sleep. And I remember sitting outside in France and I got an espresso, and I remember drinking it and then going and having, like, the worst diarrhea. Like, I was. It was. It was like, you know, like, I don't even know if you guys, like, could relate to that, but, like, do I remember? Like, there was a clear moment in my life where it was like, I don't have anxiety, and now I've got it.

[Harry]

Oh, yeah. Spot on. Dude. What a great. What? Like, great point. You just.

[Sass]

I used to be able to just, like, be one hour of sleep.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Sass]

Drank 20 shots of vodka the night before, and now I'm gonna have five espressos just to get the wheels going again.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Sass]

Like, if I did that now I would die. Like, I would have, like, a. I would be. I would be getting, like, airlifted to a hospital in a straight jacket.

[Harry]

Well, hold on a second, though. I do think that we felt anxiety when we were younger, but we didn't. Maybe we didn't know how to recognize the labeling of. Yeah.

[Sass]

I think that's probably what I used

[Harry]

to have so much anxiety about when I would get in trouble.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

The consequences of that or my parents finding out, you know, on and on. I was. I would be consumed by it. I remember I got into a fender bender one day coming home from school.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

And I just tapped the guy in front of me. He had this old rusty pickup truck to the degree that when I hit the car, rust fell off. I. I cleaned it, I improved his car, pulled over. We exchanged information and all that. And then I remember going home, and I was probably 16, 17, and I remember we made it all the way to dinner, and I was silent at the dinner table. Silent. And everyone's having that normal meal around you, and they're kind of like. And, and, and. And it finally just. It was eating me up. I couldn't even eat my food. I thought. I thought I'd committed a cardinal sin. And I finally had to come clean and say, I got into an accident today.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

They're like, oh, my God, are you okay? And I was like, yeah. I was going three and I hit this guy's car. I mean, I thought. I thought it was going to cost our family tens of thousands of dollars. And they were like, oh, okay. And it was okay. It was fine. But it just churned away at my soul. Anyway, the point is that that was anxiety then.

[Sass]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know what you mean now.

[Harry]

It manifests in me in that I can't sleep. Yeah. And that didn't used to happen.

[Sass]

Yeah, yeah. I just remember, like, I used to. Everyone, all my friends used to be like, you're always paranoid about everything. And I would just be like, I don't think I really am. I'm just, like, worried. But yeah. Then, then, then once I started having the panic attacks, it started coming in in a whole different new way.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Sass]

And then it was like, oh, apparently I get nervous now and then I can't breathe.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

I get so nervous.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Yeah. Labeling it does make it worse sometimes.

[Sass]

Definitely la.

[Roan]

Because you're like, oh, that's what this is. Like, not labeling it and not being able to dissociate from it is like. Then it becomes like all, all consumer.

[Sass]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Harry]

Here comes the chemical imbalance in my brain again, against which I have no meaningful defense. I have a series of meaningless breathing exercises that will potentially staunch the hemorrhage of fear that is happening taking over my body right now.

[Sass]

Yeah. It is weird because it was just like, I. I like, yeah. I feel like I just used to be just, you know, you just kind of just coast.

[Harry]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Sass]

There's like, nothing really that bad's going to Happen.

[Harry]

Well, you did have that. What you've described to me, your high school days in a way that I could never imagine.

[Sass]

Yeah, it was kind of just like consequences aren't real. So it was like I would get in trouble, but I wouldn't really. I would be like, okay, I was.

[Harry]

I live.

[Sass]

I would be like, furious, but I wouldn't be like, like nervous.

[Harry]

I lived in fear of trouble.

[Sass]

Yeah, I did too, but I would be. I got in trouble so much. Like every day it was something new and it would be like that. I don't even. I didn't even know I did.

[Harry]

How did you. I. I've never understood because I know you. You're smart, you're capable, you're organized, and you have drive. Right.

[Sass]

I wouldn't say I'm organized, but I'm.

[Harry]

I have a doubt to some degree, though. Like, you're not a mess. My point is that growing up, you described to me how you would get a bad grade in a class.

[Sass]

Yeah. Yeah. All the time.

[Harry]

I don't. I can't figure that out.

[Sass]

I don't know.

[Harry]

I don't know how. I don't know how you dealt with that, folks. Son of a boy. Dad is brought to you by the League. The League is a dating app that I am having a lot of fun with. I'm going to be honest with you. You, you know, dating, kind of a weird thing to navigate if you're me, you know, post divorce. Right. Slightly known figure, loved by some, hated by many. There's a lot of reasons it. It could be tough for me to find the right person to spend time with, but the League has been curating and presenting wonderful, spectacular, high caliber women for me every day. I get these. These groups of people to sort of converse with and to match with, and I get to see who likes me and learn a little bit more about them. And it's not just simple pictures and endless scrolling where I lose the sense that the people that I'm seeing are even people.

[Sass]

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[Harry]

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[Roan]

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[Sass]

Yeah, it was a lot of like it was, it was pretty much just being disorganized. Like I would, there would be like homework assignments that I would not do but I didn't even know I had to do them because I wasn't paying attention when they were explaining that we had to do them.

[Harry]

Got it.

[Sass]

So like every day when I would get home from school I would have to text people and say what's the homework? Like what do we have to do for homework tonight? Cause I would never know.

[Harry]

Isn't that pretty typical ADD though? Isn't that sort of pretty much.

[Sass]

Yeah, no, I'm Definitely. I struggle with testing. I struggle with. I mean, I struggle with testing. I don't think you can tell you struggle with testing if you don't pay attention during class. Class, you know,

[Harry]

what would you do?

[Sass]

That's what they would always try to like, an. They would be like, he struggles with tests. And it was like, no, I just don't know what I'm. I don't know anything. It's like, yeah, no, I struggle with it. I don't know the answer.

[Harry]

So. But let me. Can I ask. So you do possess information.

[Sass]

You.

[Harry]

You have a trove of.

[Sass]

Of intel, mostly about Israel right now.

[Harry]

I've seen hints of. Of what I would only call, like, real brilliance from you.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

And I'm wondering where that seeped in from. What were the things that you. Where your brain said, I actually do care to learn this and I'm going to commit myself to it. What do those tend to be like in school? I don't know.

[Roan]

He just wanted attention and he was. That's why I went on Twitter.

[Sass]

Yeah, pretty much.

[Roan]

He just wanted to get some followers attention.

[Harry]

Hold four.

[Roan]

And then he started doing stand up. He was like, I want attention live.

[Sass]

Yeah. I said, I want to be famous

[Roan]

and I'll do anything to get there.

[Sass]

At 12.

[Harry]

I feel like. I feel like you could build a car. No, I feel like you could build a PC.

[Sass]

I think the PC stuff people like, over complicate. It's really easy.

[Roan]

You can build a car, bro.

[Harry]

I couldn't build a PC.

[Sass]

Yes, you could.

[Harry]

No, I promise you I could not.

[Sass]

I promise you you could.

[Harry]

Good. I've never understood any of that stuff.

[Sass]

It's literally doing Legos.

[Roan]

If you play Call of Duty, you can kill a man.

[Sass]

Exactly.

[Roan]

I seriously.

[Sass]

No, if you could build, you could build a PC easily. It's just screwing in. There's. You come. Everything comes with a pamphlet this big with the directions.

[Harry]

Mozart, Haydn. They saw a piano and it just made sense to them.

[Roan]

Right.

[Sass]

I could always play. Play.

[Roan]

We could always build.

[Sass]

I could always build.

[Roan]

I knew that about you.

[Harry]

Interesting.

[Roan]

What'd you do all weekend? Sat inside, just watch Call of Duty. That's sick.

[Sass]

It was a long weekend.

[Roan]

How do you rest your eyes for something like that?

[Sass]

I feel like sometimes I would just get off camera and just close my eyes and just stand for like two minutes hovering there.

[Roan]

Yeah, you need a 70 inch, honestly, is what you need.

[Sass]

And every time I come back, everyone's like, oh, my God. Sass just took the biggest bong rip. I was just Standing in my kitchen in front of the air conditioner.

[Roan]

Oh, man.

[Harry]

I made steak tacos last night with strip steak. Oh.

[Sass]

Oh, that's powerful.

[Roan]

What kind of tortillas?

[Harry]

No, not strip steak. Excuse me? Skirt.

[Sass]

Skirt steak.

[Harry]

Made it with skirt steak. I just use regular flour tortillas, but I threw them over an open burner.

[Roan]

I like. I prefer flour. I think they can kind of, like, totally grab it a little bit more.

[Harry]

Yeah, for the most part.

[Sass]

I hate the corn.

[Harry]

Corn ones are a little too. Get too crispy. I like. I did that, and then I made a homemade chimichurri, which was epic.

[Roan]

That's amazing. What's in that?

[Harry]

A lot of parsley, olive oil, cilantro. No.

[Roan]

What the fuck?

[Harry]

What was it? It was.

[Sass]

Do you guys put rice on tacos? And if you were to. Would you classify that as a burrito? Burrito?

[Harry]

No.

[Roan]

I think a breakfast taco sometimes has some rice in it.

[Sass]

When I make taco, like, when I have tacos at home, I always put rice on it.

[Harry]

I think that's fine. I just don't know. It wouldn't be a burrito. Burrito has to be enclosed.

[Sass]

I see.

[Roan]

Why do you do it?

[Sass]

I don't know. I just. I had that conversation with someone recently.

[Roan]

I think if it's in a hard taco shell, that doesn't turn it into a burrito.

[Sass]

No.

[Harry]

Agreement.

[Sass]

Agreed. Continue.

[Roan]

But I don't know how you're putting rice on a taco, Ron.

[Sass]

Great.

[Harry]

I'm not kidding you. When I. This whole episode I have, when I am talking to Harry and looking at him 100% of the time, I assume that is two bananas.

[Sass]

I've been wondering what that is for a while.

[Harry]

It's just out of the corner of my eye. And I'm telling you, my brain has told me for the. Even though. And I clarify, I'm like, why would Roan hang two bananas on that mic stand?

[Sass]

Isn't that one of those, like, headbands that, like, girls wear after they, like, shower?

[Harry]

Yeah, that's for. Or that's for, like, figure skating.

[Roan]

Well, this has been in. It just got in here now.

[Sass]

It's been there for, like, weeks.

[Roan]

Was it from the Gilliam Wallow episode or something?

[Harry]

I'm telling you because it's fuzzy and I saw the eyes, and I'm just. I'm just. My brain is immediately telling me that it is the Chiquita banana sticker. It's the same colors. It's the blue and the white. So that's the sticker. And Then it was hanging and it was two bananas the whole time. And then I would. I'd look at it and be like, oh, no, it's a spongebob.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Harry]

And then I'd go back to talking to you and I'd be like, golly, Ron keeps distracting. Putting these bananas on the fucking mic stand.

[Sass]

Every time you look away, it was.

[Harry]

It was so crazy.

[Sass]

And then when you're not looking, he swaps the spongebob headband back.

[Roan]

That makes you want to do it really bad.

[Sass]

Yeah, that would be awesome.

[Roan]

I need to get some bananas.

[Sass]

Yeah, that's definitely like a girl at the offices.

[Harry]

No.

[Roan]

No way.

[Sass]

Yes. You think that's Gilly and Wallows?

[Roan]

White girls wear that.

[Sass]

Yeah, I think.

[Roan]

Really?

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Roan]

I don't think I knew that. It looks comfy as hell. Or is it.

[Sass]

Does it go over your eyes? Is it a sleep mask?

[Roan]

It could be a sleep mask.

[Sass]

Oh, wait, I think it is. It has eyes on the front. It's a sleep mask.

[Roan]

Try it. Put it on as a sleep mask.

[Sass]

It's a sleep mask.

[Roan]

It's probably a sleep mask.

[Sass]

It's a sleep mask. Yeah.

[Roan]

Which makes it more likely to be one of Gillian Wallow's guests. Maybe. Somebody wears it real swaggy.

[Sass]

Who did they have on Takashi69?

[Roan]

I think he could. He could rock that. Did he just say he was broke?

[Sass]

Probably.

[Roan]

I think he's out of. Out of cash. That bummed me out.

[Sass]

He's a bum.

[Roan]

What do you mean?

[Sass]

Of course he's out of cash.

[Roan]

He's an entrepreneur.

[Sass]

Guy's a bum. And he's a pedophile. Allegedly.

[Roan]

That's true.

[Harry]

True.

[Roan]

Can't argue with that.

[Sass]

I don't know. Isn't that why he went to jail?

[Roan]

Yeah, but he did the. Did the time, did the crime.

[Harry]

Was that why not even alleged?

[Sass]

Yeah, well, I think. I think it was like, I don't know, something with Israel. I don't even know what it was.

[Roan]

I saw you fuming about Cash Patel.

[Sass]

Oh, yeah. That guy's a bum.

[Roan]

I saw you.

[Sass]

That guy's a bum.

[Roan]

Hot as hell. About Cash Patel.

[Sass]

I hate that guy. Guy, you should go to prison.

[Roan]

The worst part was that when he was like, get.

[Sass]

We'll get it.

[Roan]

The. Done, sir. We'll get. We'll get the. On it, sir.

[Sass]

I mean, dude, imagine winning the. The gold medal in the Olympics for hockey. And then there's just this random dude from the. Like, you're like, why are you here?

[Roan]

Oh, that's the FBI.

[Sass]

Yeah. What the are you doing?

[Roan]

But I actually don't care at all. I think that it's. I don't care who they party, and I don't think if you're in a situation like that, you can be expected to be like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Like, what's he doing here? You just keep on partying. You just won the gold medal. No one's gonna stop partying.

[Sass]

Yeah, but he wasn't. It wasn't like. He was just like. He was the. It was like they hired him.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

It was like a Drew skis.

[Sass]

It was like the party was built around Cash Patel.

[Roan]

He was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Harry]

Actually, I didn't see any of that.

[Sass]

He was like spinning the beer and chugging it.

[Roan]

He was doing like a Russian like. Like low, like pop kick in the middle of the locker room.

[Sass]

It's like the mail room scene in Elk. Such a good scene.

[Harry]

That's such an amazing.

[Roan]

Exactly.

[Sass]

That is a hilarious scene.

[Roan]

Oh, my God.

[Sass]

All right.

[Roan]

Olympics over, bro.

[Sass]

I know. Went fast.

[Roan]

Sad.

[Harry]

Ended strong, though.

[Sass]

Ended strong.

[Harry]

That game was iconic and that I hadn't really cared about much until that. And then now I'm gonna think of this as a good Olympic.

[Sass]

It was a great Olympics.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Well, size. You were saying you cared about the women winning.

[Sass]

Of course.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Sass]

How could you not?

[Roan]

That figure skater with the crazy hair.

[Sass]

That crazy haired figure skater.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Sass]

What's her deal? I feel like I'm seeing a lot of on Twitter about her. She a plant?

[Roan]

Might be a beast. She has. She. She's got to be Israeli.

[Sass]

Yeah. Where's she actually from? That's what I'm asking.

[Harry]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Sass]

Jerusalem.

[Harry]

Talking about who's. Who's this?

[Sass]

Those skates were promised to her 3,000 years ago.

[Roan]

The go humor out of this one.

[Sass]

I'm just around. I don't know anything about her or Israel, to be honest.

[Roan]

Right. Yeah, you better not.

[Sass]

All right, thank you guys for listening. Listening. We will see you on Thursday.

[Harry]

I looked older to you Came around I was only falling one way I was only falling one way

[Roan]

James

[Harry]

was drifting. Now I come alive I was only for. In my wedding I was only for way. I was only falling one way

[Sass]

I

[Harry]

was only falling one way that is to your eyes.

[Sass]

Did you realize

[Harry]

no one can take me alive.

[Sass]

I was only falling one way. Sam.

[Harry]

No one could take me alive.