Blackberries | Son of a Boy Dad #320

Summary

Son of a Boy Dad #320 “Blackberries”

Barstool Sports | July 24, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this wide-ranging, banter-rich episode, the Son of a Boy Dad crew—Lil Sasquatch, Rone, and producer Francis—delve into everything from the humble blackberry (both fruit and phone), absurd throw-up stories, and the importance of land ownership, to the complexities of Modern Saudi Arabia, fight stories, writing for the ESPYs, digestive health, and viral internet moments. True to the show’s spirit, the episode is a mixture of storytelling, inside jokes, and the candid exploration of what it means to figure out adulthood with humor and a healthy dose of self-deprecation.

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Key Discussion Segments & Insights

1. Blackberries and Blackberry Cocktails

Timestamp: 03:06–04:53

• The guys kick things off debating the merits of blackberries.
• Francis laments buying blackberries for mojitos he never ended up making, launching impromptu cocktail recipe ideas and jokes about supporting Barstool brands by spiking High Noons.
• Dave: "Too many antioxidants. I’m trying to build up my oxidants." (03:12)
• Banter around creative uses for leftover blackberries, from yogurt to baked goods.

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2. Supplements and Gut Health

Timestamp: 05:53–07:59

• Harry shares his supplement routine: probiotics, oil of oregano, vitamin D, zinc, and a mysterious “El Thorn” (mishearing of “L-theanine”), leading to a running Norse mythology joke.
• Dave and Harry both vouch for the healing powers of oil of oregano—especially for fighting off illness and indigestion.
• Embarrassing food stories ensue:
  • Harry recounts a Friday night throw-up after overeating gummy bears, comparing it to a pre-teen’s solo sleepover.
  • Francis: "You had a solo retreat in your own home." (08:19)

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3. Outdoor Adventures & Fly Fishing in Wyoming

Timestamp: 08:44–11:44

• Harry details his last-minute trip to Wyoming, including flight logistics and a commitment to not reveal secret fishing spots ("honey holes") on air to avoid overfishing.
• They discuss camping setups, tent sizes, and strategies for staying warm (“It’s gonna be 38 degrees at night!” – Harry, 11:42).
• The gun debate: Should you travel with a sidearm for bear protection? Dave jokes about mishandling a weapon.

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4. Land Ownership, Real Estate, and the Apocalypse

Timestamp: 14:01–17:43

• Reflecting on a missed opportunity to buy “100 acres for 10k” and the pitfalls of deals pitched by old-timers in dive bars.
• Francis draws a parallel between owning land and investing in Bitcoin: “Land is like Bitcoin, right? It’s the only resource that’s never replenished more than what it is already in stock.” (15:04)
• Apocalyptic humor: Francis plots to buy up acreage in Maine for when sea level rise displaces millions: “That acre over there? 10 billion rupees.” (17:19)

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5. Modern Saudi Arabia: Gaming, Geopolitics, and Khashoggi

Timestamp: 18:09–24:08

• The crew discusses the Esports World Cup in Saudi Arabia and the allure of “Saudi money” in gaming and sports.
• Francis gives a crash-course history on the Saudi royal succession, with asides on the 55 sons of Ibn Saud and the role of Crown Prince MBS.
• Detailed retelling of the Jamal Khashoggi killing, its diplomatic implications, and American complacency:
  • “He sent two private jets of hitmen… and they just… dissolved him in a vat of acid.” (22:29)
• Dave: “That is good ass lore. God damn, it was nice to learn something.” (24:08)

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6. Free Speech & Absurd TV

Timestamp: 24:16–25:58

• Barbed discussion about freedom of speech, blasphemy, and the hypocrisy in some countries.
• Nostalgia for explosive ’90s talk shows (Geraldo Rivera, Jerry Springer, Oprah) and the wildness of on-air brawls.

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7. Fight Lore: Hockey Enforcers and Golf Course Brawls

Timestamp: 25:38–33:33

• The guys recount viral sports fights, from Biz Nasty’s legendary hockey throwdown to a recent golf course punch-up.
• Discussion on why slow golfers are universally disliked.
• Dive into the tough existence of hockey enforcers, the toll of fighting for a living, and life after “retirement” in sports media.
  • “Imagine going to bed every night being like, I gotta beat the shit out of this guy tomorrow.” – Harry (32:34)
  • “Random fighting on skates is like karate on a tightrope.” – Dave (32:39)

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8. Irish Travelers, Stereotypes & Barstoolian Mischief

Timestamp: 38:10–38:52

• A sidebar on Irish Travelers (aka “tinkers”) and their often-misrepresented identity in the media.
• Light-hearted + irreverent confusion over whether tinkers are an ethnic group, a criminal element, or misunderstood geniuses.

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9. ESPYs Writing: Comedy from the Sidelines

Timestamp: 40:33–46:34

• Harry “Satel” reflects on writing for the 2025 ESPYs, the thrill of seeing credits (even with a misspelled name!), and working with Shane Gillis.
• Discusses which edgy jokes made it to air—and which got cut for being too hot for ABC.
• Notable joke, attributed to Harry:
  • “Angel Reese spoke out online against the WNBA after a bad call from officials. Bold move considering she could face up to 25 push-ups and fines.” (43:41)
• Dave: “You guys are basically fueling [Shane’s] career right now.” (46:28)

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10. Throwing Up: Sober vs. Drunk

Timestamp: 52:00–54:00

• The trio details the difference between nauseating sober vomiting and the “liberating” experience of puking while drunk:
  • “Throwing up drunk is like jerking off hungover. It’s the easiest thing in the world.” – Francis (52:43)
  • Harry offers a wild theory: “Maybe when you’re drinking and throwing up all the time, you’re expelling sickness. Maybe you’re getting ahead of the sick throw-up.” (53:32)

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11. Food, Gut Health & Yogurt

Timestamp: 54:00–57:52

• Rehash of famous steak-and-burger dinners.
• Yogurt brands, probiotic content, and whether fancy or kids’ yogurts actually have health benefits.
• Harry: “Pretty sure all yogurt has probiotics in it.” (57:03)

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12. Viral Moments & Internet Rabbit Holes

Timestamp: 60:09–62:15

• The Coldplay “CEO’s affair caught on camera” saga:
  • Dissecting on-camera body language, public speculation, and the company’s possible HR fallout.
  • "It was the biggest thing that's happened online since Will Smith slapped [Chris Rock]." – Dave (61:28)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Land Ownership:
  “Land is like Bitcoin, right? It’s the only resource that’s never replenished more than what it is already in stock.” – Francis (15:04)
• On Saudi Arabia:
  “He sent two private jets of hitmen… and they just… dissolved him in a vat of acid.” – Francis (22:29)
• On Comedy Writing:
  "Angel Reese spoke out online against the WNBA after a bad call from officials. Bold move considering she could face up to 25 push-ups and fines." – Harry (43:41)
• On Puking:
  “Throwing up drunk is like jerking off hungover. It’s the easiest thing in the world.” – Francis (52:43)
• On Solo Eating Binge:
  “Friday night, dead sober—I ate too many gummy bears and threw up.” – Harry (07:40)
• On Hockey Fighting:
  “Imagine going to bed every night being like, I gotta beat the shit out of this guy tomorrow.” – Harry (32:34)
• On the BlackBerry:
  “Too many antioxidants. I’m trying to build up my oxidants.” – Dave (03:12)

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Flow & Tone

• The entire episode is classic Son of a Boy Dad: fast riffs, inside jokes, faux-disagreements, and meandering but purposeful detours.
• The tone is irreverent but intelligent, mixing youthful humility with comedic bravado.
• Plenty of meta-commentary about social media, personal health, their Barstool careers, and the absurd side of news and the internet.

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Blackberries & Cocktails: 03:06–04:53
• Supplements & Gut Health: 05:53–07:59
• Gummies & Embarrassing Throw-Up Stories: 07:59–08:44
• Wyoming/Fishing Adventures: 08:44–11:44
• Land Ownership & End Times: 14:01–17:43
• Saudi Arabia, Esports, & Geopolitics: 18:09–24:08
• Free Speech & 90s TV: 24:16–25:58
• Fighting Lore (Hockey, Golf): 25:38–33:33
• Irish Travelers Sidebar: 38:10–38:52
• ESPYs Writing Room: 40:33–46:34
• Epic Vomit Discourse: 52:00–54:00
• Yogurt, Food, and Health: 54:00–57:52
• Coldplay Affair Viral Moment: 60:09–62:15

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Final Thoughts

This episode weaves together hilarious personal stories, timely cultural commentary, and uniquely Barstoolian life advice. Whether you’re coming for the camaraderie, the asides about supplements, or genuine insights into writing late-night comedy, you’ll find yourself both laughing and, occasionally, learning something genuinely interesting.

If you only catch a few minutes:
Don’t miss Francis’s breakdown of Saudi history (20:23–24:08), Harry’s gummy bear confessional (07:40), and Dave’s “oxidants” revelation (03:12).

Transcript

[Dave Portnoy]

Hey son of a boy. Dad Listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.

[Francis]

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[Harry Satel]

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[Francis]

Them, homemade classics like chicken and dumplings.

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[Harry Satel]

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[Dave Portnoy]

Experian.

[Francis]

Would you guys like a BlackBerry?

[Dave Portnoy]

See this?

[Francis]

Yeah, I better not.

[Dave Portnoy]

Too many antioxidants. I'm trying to build up my oxidants. How are they?

[Francis]

Pretty good.

[Dave Portnoy]

I don't think I like BlackBerry. It's my favorite jam, though. See this? BlackBerry. No preserve.

[Harry Satel]

I'll take some blackberries.

[Dave Portnoy]

Freshly foraged. How do they. Blackberries. I know they're not in a bog. I know. That's cranberries.

[Francis]

Cranberries are grown in a bog.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yep.

[Francis]

So I had all these great ingredients. I had bought these because I was planning to do a. A BlackBerry mojito where I was gonna muddled. I was gonna muddle the blackberries with some mint leaves and some sugar, and then I was going to strain that through a strainer and then just get.

[Harry Satel]

A whole bunch of booze in there.

[Francis]

Little gin, little seltzer, maybe have an.

[Harry Satel]

Alcohol salad, alcoholic seltzer.

[Francis]

And then the. The mint leaves and the. And all that.

[Harry Satel]

But, you know, when Francis gets, like, a vodka soda, he gets a High Noon and pours vodka into it and calls it aota.

[Dave Portnoy]

He puts New Amsterdam in High Noon, calls it the barstool.

[Francis]

Where did you get that idea from? I don't know.

[Harry Satel]

It's just funny to think about.

[Dave Portnoy]

I mean, it is the nicest way to do it, to really support the barstool brands. Did you ever make the mojitas?

[Francis]

I never got to make them, which is why I still have all these blackberries. And I left my home from upstate today, and I. I worried that I had all these leftover groceries that I hadn't gotten to and.

[Harry Satel]

So when are you heading back?

[Francis]

Not for a week. Oh. I'm renting it this weekend.

[Harry Satel]

Really?

[Dave Portnoy]

You're probably making a fucking brick.

[Francis]

It's pretty good.

[Harry Satel]

Passive income. How much you making?

[Francis]

I can't say.

[Harry Satel]

Put it back into the show. Help us expand.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's what Mr. Beast does. Yeah. Every dollar he makes rent back up. We're just Mr. Beast saying we have to. You're trying to be Mr. Based. Who is Josh DMs or no, Joshua Block's manager. You know who Mr. Based is? Mr. Based is the world of T shirts manager.

[Harry Satel]

Really?

[Francis]

The base God.

[Dave Portnoy]

Base God is a whole other guy.

[Harry Satel]

Who would love for. For a roll of T shirts to be at, like, 3 Arts. He has, like, a real manager.

[Dave Portnoy]

He's just shooting a 50 cal at a watermelon.

[Harry Satel]

Yeah, he's at CAA booking his tours.

[Dave Portnoy]

He was getting way better. And then I saw a video of him yelling racial slurs from the foot. Like from the step of a motel. Oh, yeah.

[Harry Satel]

It's a damn shame today.

[Dave Portnoy]

But it's Mr. Based who's the. The real well, he's feeling. Yeah. Profiting off. He's the instigator. Yeah. He acts like I look out for this kid. No, you don't, Mr. Bass.

[Harry Satel]

No, you don't.

[Dave Portnoy]

You're actually the worst type of profiteer. Yeah, the worst. No respect for Mr. Based. What else could you do with those? I feel like they'd be nice muddled into a yogurt. A Greek yogurt would be nice.

[Harry Satel]

Big on yogurt right now.

[Dave Portnoy]

You are.

[Francis]

Definitely. Have some probiotics.

[Harry Satel]

Oh, I take probiotics every day.

[Francis]

Your gut is a mess.

[Harry Satel]

I take probiotics. Oil of oregano and vitamin D, zinc and. What is the other one? Thorn. L. Thorn.

[Francis]

L. Theanine.

[Harry Satel]

No. El Thorne.

[Dave Portnoy]

El Thorn.

[Francis]

No. You're thinking of Altheanine.

[Harry Satel]

I'm not. I know what ltheanine is.

[Francis]

Elthorn is a Norse God.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's the Norse God's wife.

[Harry Satel]

I take those. I take those, like, every day.

[Dave Portnoy]

The. The oil of oregano is the most fufu thing that I believe in with my whole heart. If I'm starting to get sick, you gotta take oil of oregano. And it's like, it's. It changes my life. And I'm really not even on that.

[Harry Satel]

Foo Foo, you're so. If you take it consistently, it'll. It just helps reduce the acid buildup in your stomach. That's what Aiden McCloskey told me, and I've been taking it every day since he told me about it.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's damn good because that's like.

[Harry Satel]

I. I just have, like, bad indigestion because my eating schedule is.

[Francis]

But it's.

[Harry Satel]

Dude, it's literally like.

[Francis]

You think it's the schedule or the gigantic gallon bag of gummy?

[Dave Portnoy]

The fact that you threw it up and it wasn't even, like, mixed with your stomach acid shows that you ate it. Probably laying.

[Harry Satel]

It was in my. It was just. It just sat there because it wasn't like, I didn't wake up nauseous. I woke up like, oh, I'm gonna throw up right now.

[Dave Portnoy]

You just emptied out the tank and kept it going.

[Harry Satel]

I mean, what an embarrassing thing to happen. I was more like. I was embarrassed as I was Throwing up.

[Francis]

It's funny to think I was like.

[Harry Satel]

Friday night, dead sober. I ate too many gummy bears and threw up.

[Francis]

I had. That is like.

[Harry Satel]

That's mortifying.

[Francis]

You were probably a little. No Smokey the bear.

[Harry Satel]

No, dead sober.

[Francis]

I know you.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's like a 12 year old activity.

[Harry Satel]

It literally is. I played too many video games and.

[Dave Portnoy]

Got sick my tummy.

[Harry Satel]

I was. It was because I was stimming.

[Francis]

You had a solo. I was. You had a sleepover by yourself.

[Harry Satel]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Is what you did.

[Harry Satel]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

They're like, the parents weren't home. It's like, that's home alone too. When he goes to the hotel room and watches old timey movies and orders like ice cream and cookies.

[Harry Satel]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

You had your life.

[Francis]

You had a solo retreat in your own home.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Francis]

A fun retreat in preparation. Do you think I could come over sometime?

[Harry Satel]

You can come over today. Really pack.

[Francis]

All right, I'll do that.

[Dave Portnoy]

Help him knit the T shirts.

[Harry Satel]

I'm pretty pumped. I was. I was like kind of mediocrely pumped because we planned it so last minute, but now it's like kind of planning it. Last minute rules. Because now you're like, I'm going tomorrow.

[Francis]

What? What are you. How are you getting there?

[Harry Satel]

Flying where? I'm flying to Denver and then I'm flying into Wyoming from Denver.

[Francis]

What part of Wyoming?

[Harry Satel]

Like, East Giant Airport.

[Dave Portnoy]

Cheyenne.

[Francis]

Close. What airport are you going?

[Harry Satel]

Casper.

[Francis]

Oh, yeah. Casper.

[Harry Satel]

So it's more like the Bighorn area then.

[Francis]

You guys are renting a car. You're running the car.

[Harry Satel]

Yep.

[Francis]

And then you're gonna drive from there. You're gonna drive. Take that.

[Harry Satel]

I don't want to take this.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, they're gonna take. They're gonna head west from Casper right there after he rents the Subaru Outback.

[Francis]

What? What? What rivers are you gonna fish?

[Harry Satel]

I'm not telling you that.

[Francis]

Why not?

[Dave Portnoy]

Because they're gonna get swarmed. His honey pots gonna get. His honeyhole is gonna get r worded.

[Harry Satel]

Yeah, we're not trying to get you. Don't you want to give up the spots?

[Francis]

I mean, you're all the way out in western Wyoming. Dude, I'm not coming out there.

[Harry Satel]

I'm not giving up the spots to you. I'm talking about the people that are listening. I can tell you after the show.

[Dave Portnoy]

Write it down and hand it.

[Harry Satel]

It's not even. I'm not even doing it for myself. I'm doing it for the greater good of the rivers.

[Francis]

All right, well, will you just kind of give me a general direction?

[Harry Satel]

Because you don't want the rivers to get over fished because the next time.

[Dave Portnoy]

You go, people will flood there like.

[Harry Satel]

Exactly.

[Dave Portnoy]

Wayne's World too.

[Harry Satel]

I'm going to the same place that I come.

[Dave Portnoy]

If you fish there.

[Harry Satel]

They were that I caught last year.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Harry Satel]

The trap that I posted on Instagram, I think.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, this one.

[Harry Satel]

I'm going for it again.

[Dave Portnoy]

Find the same.

[Harry Satel]

I want her again.

[Dave Portnoy]

Would you recognize her?

[Harry Satel]

Absolutely.

[Dave Portnoy]

As you felt her in your hand?

[Harry Satel]

Oh yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Would you feel the throb.

[Harry Satel]

I mean the hope is that it. That that fish has doubled in size and I can go catch it again.

[Francis]

I'd be one hungry fish.

[Harry Satel]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Are you going to be able to keep any of the fish that you catch is all really?

[Harry Satel]

Yeah, we're going to eat. We're going to eat fish. Are you? Yeah, because we're going to the spot that we could last time.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's why they're not saying. Because they don't want the game warden to pull up and catch.

[Harry Satel]

No, no, we're not, we're not.

[Dave Portnoy]

We're.

[Harry Satel]

There's the rivers that we're fishing at like mostly during the day. We're not going to keep. We're not going to keep any fish from there. It'll be at the end of the day we're going to go to like creeks and catch brook trout.

[Francis]

Brook trout?

[Harry Satel]

Yeah. And then you can cook and eat those BTs.

[Francis]

Are you. How many tents do you guys have?

[Harry Satel]

One.

[Francis]

Oh, one big one?

[Harry Satel]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And for four of you?

[Harry Satel]

Yeah.

[Francis]

You, Nate, Peterson, Bo.

[Harry Satel]

No, Nate's not going.

[Francis]

You, Peters and Bo.

[Harry Satel]

Yeah, Bo wanted to get a two and a half. He wanted to use a two and a half person tent that he has for a dog.

[Francis]

That's cozy.

[Harry Satel]

We were like, dude, that's insane.

[Francis]

So you got a four person.

[Harry Satel]

Yeah, well, we haven't gotten it yet. We got to get it when we get there.

[Francis]

So there's room for one.

[Harry Satel]

That's the only thing that we don't have.

[Francis]

You got.

[Dave Portnoy]

Not for one more person for you. Yeah, we got room for four person. You'd need a four and a half person to fit you.

[Harry Satel]

Yeah, yeah. One normal sized person.

[Dave Portnoy]

Not like his twink buddies. Not like his thin.

[Harry Satel]

Not one fucking Shrek.

[Francis]

What are you. What are you doing? How are you going to align it? Are you guys going to sleep like head to toe? What are you going to be three?

[Harry Satel]

It's going to be freezing.

[Francis]

Are you going to be three?

[Dave Portnoy]

They're going to need body heat.

[Harry Satel]

It's going to be. No, you're going to be fully in your mummy.

[Dave Portnoy]

Sleeping.

[Harry Satel]

Sleeping bag.

[Francis]

Right.

[Harry Satel]

It's going to be 38 degrees at night.

[Francis]

Do you need a gun for this trip?

[Harry Satel]

No, I have one flying out.

[Dave Portnoy]

A gun. Just buy one when you get there. I probably could just trade for one. We were gonna.

[Harry Satel]

We were looking at that. You know what's funny is that actually was part of a conversation that we.

[Dave Portnoy]

Had to get a gun about going.

[Harry Satel]

To Montana is we were talking about. This was last year when we were gonna go to Montana because Montana's got the highest grizzly population in the lower 48. Everyone knows that. And we were gonna. I was gonna fly to Colorado and buy a gun and then just give it to Bo.

[Dave Portnoy]

I know that you would insist on holding the gun for the whole.

[Harry Satel]

Absolutely.

[Dave Portnoy]

And then fumbling it.

[Harry Satel]

Who doesn't want the gun then fumbling.

[Dave Portnoy]

It Like Fredo and the Godfather. When it's time to actually shoot something.

[Harry Satel]

Who would not want the gun on them all day? Yeah, you would definitely want it. Bear.

[Francis]

Plaxico Burris himself. Yeah.

[Harry Satel]

How much better would you feel fishing if you were walking around all day like in your waiters and then you just had a gun, just like a pistol just strapped to the chest all day.

[Dave Portnoy]

Just imagine it being just on your finger and you're swimming around like wide her the entire time.

[Harry Satel]

One time I was. We were hiking in Wyoming. We weren't fishing and we ran into people on the hike and there was a. It was like. Just like this young couple and a girl had a pistol in like literally like these type of shorts, like athletic shorts just in her waistband.

[Francis]

That's a bathing suit though.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Harry Satel]

This isn't a bathing suit. There would be lining if there was a bathing suit.

[Francis]

She was wearing a men's bathing suit.

[Harry Satel]

Yep. And she had a gun.

[Francis]

Damn. You have now worn those shorts the last four episodes and I'll wear them four more. Do you wash them in between? In between wears?

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Francis]

I don't believe.

[Dave Portnoy]

And then 18 months now.

[Harry Satel]

No, they're strictly hand washed shorts.

[Francis]

Take me down to the river.

[Harry Satel]

I just use like Dove shampoo. Beat them with reeds for an hour.

[Dave Portnoy]

Just has a washboard in the river in the Hudson.

[Harry Satel]

I use method body wash.

[Dave Portnoy]

You gotta hand wash them.

[Francis]

I like your fleece though. That's nice.

[Harry Satel]

It's cozy, hot as.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, but the other alternative is showing off your butt. What are you. Oh, it's. That's why you went to Wyoming because you wanted somewhere cold enough to wear long sleeves.

[Harry Satel]

No, I was pitching all different. I was Saying we should just go to New York.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. We could have all. What if we all met up in New Paltz?

[Harry Satel]

That'd be.

[Dave Portnoy]

So what if we met up at.

[Harry Satel]

Your spot at the Poconos?

[Dave Portnoy]

My spot?

[Harry Satel]

Your land.

[Dave Portnoy]

I never bought the land. I got talked out of buying the land, dumbass. I was so excited to buy that land.

[Harry Satel]

Did you know about this? I think.

[Dave Portnoy]

Was this before your time?

[Harry Satel]

Roan got offered like, he got offered like a hundred acres of land for like 10k.

[Dave Portnoy]

And then I think we like got a survey, turned it down, and it was all. It was on like the side of a rock face.

[Harry Satel]

It was on a little bit of a hill. Yeah, There was a little bit of a slope. I was like, we can't work with.

[Dave Portnoy]

It was like a girl. It was like this old man at a bar who like pitched it to my friend who was up there and the bartender was like, randy, you're not pitching that land. She was like, so tired of it because he must have pitched every like Philadelphia shoobie that came into that shitty ass bar that they were at.

[Harry Satel]

I gotta get some land. Land is the first thing I want.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, anywhere.

[Francis]

Land is like, like Bitcoin, right? It's the only resource that's never replenish more than what it is already in stock.

[Harry Satel]

I don't know.

[Dave Portnoy]

Land is just like bitcoin.

[Harry Satel]

I would love a good thing of land.

[Francis]

John Adams famously believed that having land was the ultimate currency and resource. Right.

[Harry Satel]

I mean. Yeah, I don't see how it isn't.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Harry Satel]

Having like a. Like something that you own. This is my. This is my cut of America.

[Francis]

I think that as the world kind of continues to fall apart at the seams, right. We have more and more horrific disasters.

[Dave Portnoy]

Is that happening?

[Francis]

Yeah, it seems like those things are happening more, more frequently these days. You know, catastrophic weather events.

[Dave Portnoy]

I don't know, bro. Noah's ark seemed gnarly.

[Harry Satel]

True. Noah's Ark was as bad as it gets.

[Dave Portnoy]

And Moses with the flood, like, seems like weather shit's been happening.

[Francis]

Look, if you believe in Noah's ark, then I guess every single animal on earth is the product of incest.

[Harry Satel]

It is. That's like a great. Do people use that as an excuse, like against global warming?

[Dave Portnoy]

They should. Yeah. Here's the playbook.

[Harry Satel]

And that on that round thing, the round interviews. Have you seen that new one?

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, I watched all of it.

[Harry Satel]

Did you watch the new. You watched the new one? Yeah, I only saw clips. I just saw the clip of that dude with the mustache, like in the hat, he's. What kind of immigrants are we talking about? Yeah, guys, like what?

[Dave Portnoy]

He's from Iran. So you're saying that if we keep on having natural disasters that you're going to need some.

[Francis]

Well, I mean, you know, it's going to be like in theory, the projections if, depending on what you believe, are that like Bangladesh is going to be underwater. India, huge parts of India, which is going to displace all these people.

[Harry Satel]

Hasn't the shoreline already gone up like a lot in India?

[Francis]

The rising sea levels. So if that happens, where are those people going to go? I'll tell you where they're gonna go. Maine. Which is why I'm buying hundreds and hundreds of acres of woods, northern Maine, so that I can sell them to the Indian families or the government desperate for sanctuary.

[Harry Satel]

It's not a bad idea.

[Dave Portnoy]

But the Bangladeshis are gonna. And you're gonna drive out the price for those.

[Harry Satel]

You're kind of see that acre over there?

[Francis]

10 billion rupees.

[Harry Satel]

Like that dude that bought up all the hand sanitizer during COVID Yeah, exactly. Just trying. Just no one bought it.

[Francis]

The Martin. The Martin Shkreli.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Of displaced Indian families.

[Dave Portnoy]

You actually should set up some kind of transportation direct to Maine now. So for when that happens, you have the infrastructure to bring them all. Right. To Maine.

[Francis]

I like that. Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Because if they wind up going to like just, you know, another close country.

[Francis]

I'm funding, the only Kathmandu, Portland direct. It is the longest nonstop flight in the world.

[Dave Portnoy]

Non stop. Like the bread.

[Francis]

Yeah, we do make a non stop. Quick. Non stop.

[Harry Satel]

You guys ready for EWC next week?

[Dave Portnoy]

I'm pretty excited.

[Harry Satel]

I think it's this week.

[Francis]

What's EWC.

[Dave Portnoy]

Gaming?

[Francis]

Oh, is it.

[Dave Portnoy]

Lacy's going to be there.

[Harry Satel]

Yeah, it's the World cup esports, World Cup, Saudi Arabia.

[Dave Portnoy]

Ronaldo's going to be there.

[Francis]

Wow.

[Harry Satel]

It's in Saudi Arabia, is it? Yeah.

[Francis]

Interesting. The Mecca.

[Harry Satel]

The Mecca of gaming. I got to get out to Saudi asap.

[Dave Portnoy]

The Saudi money, you know, they have such good money.

[Harry Satel]

Oh, man. I was reading some comments this weekend that. About my gaming skills that just really made me put pedal to the metal this weekend.

[Francis]

I think I'm curious, why do you think you're good at Call of Duty video games?

[Harry Satel]

Because I know I am.

[Francis]

How many times do you need to be shown that you're not.

[Harry Satel]

I'm not good at Madden or Halo. I don't know. I mean, I'm not going to Halo because I don't play Halo. I think if I played Halo Consistently, I would get good at it. I'm good at Call of Duty because I play it all the time.

[Francis]

I think that you would be my.

[Harry Satel]

Sick if you knew how many hours I had in Call of Duty.

[Francis]

I think my experiences playing video games against you have made me realize that video games somehow are a sport that requires athletic skill because it's the only explanation for why I continue to be good at it.

[Dave Portnoy]

That is funny. I mean, think of how good you'd be at Call of Duty if you put in the amount of hours that he puts into Call.

[Francis]

I wouldn't be on this show, that's for goddamn sure. Be out.

[Harry Satel]

You'd be making less.

[Francis]

Saudi Arabia, the green Wall. Doing private demonstrations in Saudi Arabia.

[Harry Satel]

Making less money.

[Dave Portnoy]

You'd be praying at the green wall.

[Francis]

What's his name? A.O. mock. Mohammed bin Salman. Salman. MBS. The Crown Prince. He may be the king now. Is the king of Saudi Arabia dead and has he been replaced by Marquez Valdez? Scantling mbs. Can we look that up?

[Harry Satel]

MB is the king of Saudi Arabia.

[Francis]

Okay, so that's not mbs. So MBS is the crown prince of the Saudi king Kingdom. Right. And he's the one that's pulling all the strings.

[Harry Satel]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Go ahead.

[Francis]

The original ruler of Saudi Arabia, the guy who like created the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, was this guy named Ibn Saud. Okay. And he conquered whatever disparate tribes of Bedouins and people were in the area on horseback, came in, said, this is now a country. Whatever. I don't know when it was. Must have been like, I don't know, maybe 1930s, 20s.

[Dave Portnoy]

So he probably had one gun, just did it all.

[Francis]

This dude by hand had 55 sons.

[Harry Satel]

It's a ton.

[Francis]

With like 15 or 20 wives.

[Harry Satel]

Yeah.

[Francis]

So the.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's easy to be, like religiously devout when your religion is like, yeah, you have everybody. Yeah, I actually love my religion.

[Ad Read Announcer]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

20 wives.

[Francis]

The succession of the Saudi throne has passed laterally from his sons to other sons for the entirety since he was the king. Right. So it went to his son, and then it went from that guy to one of his brothers, and then it went to like a half brother, so on and so forth. They are running out of original sons of Ibn Saud, so they're spawning new ones. The next ruler, it is presumed for the first time, I believe, in the history of Saudi Arabia will pass vertically down to one of the grandsons. It's gonna be the first time that there's a non son of. I see the original ruler, ibn.

[Harry Satel]

Why doesn't he just try to one more time.

[Francis]

He's dead.

[Harry Satel]

They can figure it out.

[Dave Portnoy]

They got unlimited money.

[Harry Satel]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Get a shred of a sperm and.

[Harry Satel]

Cryogenic bone marrow off of him and create a child. Yeah.

[Francis]

Yeah. But MBS is the guy who orchestrated the killing in the consulate in Turkey.

[Harry Satel]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Of the Washington Post. Op ed columnist.

[Harry Satel]

Oh, I see.

[Francis]

Jamal Khashoggi.

[Dave Portnoy]

Khashoggi.

[Francis]

He basically. Do you know that story?

[Harry Satel]

Yeah, of course.

[Francis]

He sent two private jets of hitmen in the middle of the night to Istanbul because this guy had been writing these columns speaking out against the. Against the Saudi royal family. And he sent them and they. The guy went in to get his like passport renewed in the embassy in Istanbul. And then they went in after he went in, killed him and cut his head off. And then like cut his arms off. Just dismembered him. Threw him away, I think. Or dissolved him in a vats of acid. And then they got on private.

[Dave Portnoy]

Two planes of hitmen.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Did he like set them off like the movie Rat Race and they all like sprinted after him or did they all work in concert with one another?

[Francis]

They were all working together.

[Dave Portnoy]

Really?

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

And that's so many hitmen.

[Francis]

He did this. And everyone knew. Everyone knew that he had done this. There's a guy, right, A journalist that was writing for the Washington Post, one of our most highly circulated newspapers.

[Harry Satel]

Yeah. If you're a lib.

[Francis]

I mean, just by. Just by circulation alone, I actually think. I think it's bigger than like New York Times and it may be bigger than Wall Street Journal. I don't know.

[Harry Satel]

I have no idea.

[Francis]

Anyway, he. Bezos owns it now.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Wapo Jeff.

[Harry Satel]

And he's blocking. He's blocking articles.

[Francis]

Yeah. So he. Anyway, they killed him and like we were not happy about it, but we ended up not doing anything about it.

[Harry Satel]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Because having a strategic alliance with Saudi Arabia is more important than protecting the free speech of journalists of Americans. Yeah. So anyway, that's what happened.

[Dave Portnoy]

That is good ass lore. God damn, it was nice to learn something.

[Harry Satel]

Well, the ewc. I'll say it. I'm out.

[Dave Portnoy]

What about the live golf?

[Harry Satel]

Live golf too.

[Dave Portnoy]

You love free speech.

[Harry Satel]

I love free speech.

[Dave Portnoy]

I love free speech too. One of the guys who was on that surrounded thing was like, we need to. He's like, I don't even think the first amendment should be extended to blasphemy. So basically like, you free speech exists. Unless you're like, oh my God, then you can be. Then you can be arrested.

[Harry Satel]

Then you're arrested.

[Dave Portnoy]

If you blaspheme.

[Harry Satel]

That might be hard to crack down on.

[Dave Portnoy]

He's like, I'm a fascist. I don't care if you call me Hitler, I'm a Catholic or I don't care if you call me a Nazi, I'm a Catholic. Yeah, it does a crazy line.

[Harry Satel]

It doesn't really make sense.

[Dave Portnoy]

This was so funny. Those are intoxicating. Those are like our modern day Jerry Springer. Yeah.

[Harry Satel]

I mean, it's just like, you know.

[Dave Portnoy]

How Oprah had on like, like the Black panthers against the KKK1 episode and she was like, I didn't know it was going to be so explosive.

[Harry Satel]

No, I didn't know that. Same.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, it was like mid-90s programming.

[Francis]

Geraldo Rivera used to have that on too.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And he had his nose broken live on TV once.

[Dave Portnoy]

No, he punched someone.

[Francis]

Geraldo did.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yes, he punched someone in the streets. Someone called, I think called him a Jew or something like that.

[Francis]

No, Geraldo had his own nose broken on tv.

[Dave Portnoy]

But, well, that he might have also punched someone.

[Francis]

Yeah, I bet that's true.

[Harry Satel]

Could have gotten a couple swings in.

[Dave Portnoy]

I think that Geraldo is just brawling. Gibraldo.

[Harry Satel]

You know what I watched for the first time the other day was the video footage of biz's big fight.

[Francis]

Oh, it's crazy.

[Harry Satel]

Yeah, it's insane.

[Francis]

It's backing up as fast as he can.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's such a sick line. And he was like, took some. Gave me. He's the coolest dude that works at bar. Even like Gillian Wallow. Like he kind of has them washed. Dude.

[Harry Satel]

I was watching the video cuz they. It was like a clip of it came up on my YouTube. It was like a clip from Spitting Chicklets. And I watched the video and it was like the way that he just like the video is cool and then the way that he describes it and then like the way that he just talks about it is hilarious. And you're like, I would have like, Right.

[Dave Portnoy]

I couldn't come up with that. He's living in a Jason Statham movie.

[Harry Satel]

Yeah, I would have to like, hey.

[Dave Portnoy]

Buddy, don't talk to them like that.

[Harry Satel]

Sit down and come up with that story for like four hours.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's literally like a John Wick like plot. Yeah.

[Harry Satel]

I didn't know that. Those dudes are. Were like, they were getting into it before too. Just going around different places beating people up.

[Francis]

This happens on Heraldo's show. This guy, it's a race battle. He had like crazy people on and.

[Harry Satel]

Also they've been doing this Forever.

[Francis]

And then this happens.

[Dave Portnoy]

Older black guy just starts choking a white guy. And a guy comes over the top and throws. There's literally a race ride on the show.

[Harry Satel]

On live tv.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Or.

[Francis]

Or taped. I don't know.

[Dave Portnoy]

Imagine being the producer of this show as a race war breaks out and you're like, headset. No. You're like, I'm rich. This is going to be a clip forever. That's exactly what the producer of Geraldo Rivera wanted to happen when they booked kkk.

[Harry Satel]

That's true.

[Dave Portnoy]

They just had dollar sign eyes.

[Francis]

And then I guess Geraldo's trying to break it up. But like, you'll see there's a shot coming up where he. I mean, his nose is like streaming blood. Yeah, right here. That's him.

[Dave Portnoy]

Because he punched a black pot. He was like, this is my chance to get a shot in.

[Francis]

Geraldo gets absolutely clocked.

[Dave Portnoy]

This is a completely unrelated. Do you know who the guy Queen's flip is? He's a guy who's on Joe Budden's show. He's just like a popular YouTuber who's from Queens. It's like used to do a bunch of stuff with battle rap. One time he was doing a live stream. The two people who were live streaming started fighting and he's acting like he's breaking up the fight and then like just starts like getting shots. One of the guys back to breaking it up. But he just knows it's chaos and just takes a chance to start punching people. It's such a fucking funny move.

[Harry Satel]

That's where. That's actually how I got to the video. And I think about it is from the video of the old NHL player fighting that dude on the golf course.

[Francis]

Oh yeah, of course. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.

[Harry Satel]

Mike, I was hilarious.

[Francis]

I told you to hurry up. Get the hell out of here. We're not shaking your head. Hands.

[Harry Satel]

And then that.

[Francis]

No, there'll be no shaking your hands.

[Harry Satel]

That dude put out an apology. The. The dude who got the kicked out of him. We were being. That's going to suck. Why. Why do you need to put out an apology as just a regular person?

[Francis]

Cuz everyone hates you.

[Dave Portnoy]

Go back into your.

[Harry Satel]

Why does everyone hate him though?

[Francis]

Like what?

[Harry Satel]

Even like he got.

[Francis]

Because everyone hates people who play slowly on golf courses.

[Harry Satel]

Yeah, it makes sense.

[Francis]

Period. Everybody hates those people. And even people who play slowly think that they don't play slowly and get annoyed at other people that play solo. And certainly the concept of playing solely.

[Dave Portnoy]

And so they got. That's why the guy beat The. Out of someone because they played slowly.

[Harry Satel]

Well, because he tried to pass those.

[Francis]

Two guys who were ahead of them that got beaten up, were shit face drunk and were taking forever to keep going.

[Dave Portnoy]

And so they're like, can we play through?

[Francis]

I think the guys behind them were trying to play quickly.

[Harry Satel]

He said that they got to, like, the third hole. They'd been playing for, like, over an hour, and they just got to the third. I think it was like, the third hole. And he said that it was backed up, like, a lot. And he said he was gonna go say something. So he said he drove his cart up. There was, like, a line of carts waiting to tee off. And he drove his card up. And he was like, we gotta move it on, guys. We gotta speed this up. And then immediately that dude was like, I'm gonna kill you.

[Francis]

Really? No.

[Harry Satel]

Yeah, that's.

[Francis]

Is that right?

[Harry Satel]

Yes. He said that immediately when he. When he pulled up, the dude was. Smack. Was like, barrel fisting his chest.

[Francis]

Seemed like this had been a growing problem, at least from the clips that I've.

[Harry Satel]

I watched the full interview with the dude that got in the fight. You thought it was staged? I don't know. Yeah, that is true. That is true.

[Francis]

I like this.

[Harry Satel]

I could see it being staged.

[Francis]

Oh, got the.

[Harry Satel]

It's a good conspiracy. See him getting hurt at all, and there's no blood anywhere. And that dude that's hitting him is like 500 pounds of steel.

[Dave Portnoy]

The undertakers just out on the golf course.

[Harry Satel]

I don't know. I don't know that guy. I don't know. I'm assuming he was in the NHL.

[Francis]

Yeah, he was an enforcer.

[Harry Satel]

Was he a problem on the ice?

[Francis]

I don't know. Turning right.

[Dave Portnoy]

If he was an enforcer, he definitely was a problem. But, I mean, I guess Biz Loki wasn't.

[Harry Satel]

I mean, what was he? The biggest guy on the ice by a mile. It's like, built like an O lineman.

[Dave Portnoy]

Maybe the brother just got a little bit chunky after he quit the league, isn't it?

[Harry Satel]

I don't know who it was.

[Dave Portnoy]

Hockey guys just having fighting in their back pocket, but it's, like, honorable. Fighting, for the most part is such a nice trump card.

[Harry Satel]

Yeah. The way that biz was describing it to us was like. It's like they don't even. Like, they don't even want to have to bring out the tools, but sometimes they gotta.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, that's what all fighters say. Lethal weapons.

[Francis]

He played for Tampa Bay Lightning, Nashville Predators, and the Florida Panthers.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's a tough Life, though, having to fight, Fight for your boys. I know biz talks about it being depressing, man.

[Francis]

When I listen to him talk about it, it's. I had a long conversation with him about at the Writer cup, and I was like, he didn't want to do it, but he was like, that was.

[Harry Satel]

His only way into the energy.

[Francis]

You spend your entire life pursuing this dream, and, like, they give you that. That is as your only option. Like, what are you supposed to do?

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And he talked about the nerves of, you know, going in the night before, knowing you're gonna have to fight, knowing you have to fight a guy who's way bigger and better at fighting than you are.

[Harry Satel]

Well, the craziest one that he talked about is the minor leagues is when he said that you would. He would get. He was. Because he was still fighting in the minor league. So he said that he would go fight, and then they would just get on a bus, and they'd have a game the next day, and he'd be like, you got to go fight again.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry Satel]

And he said he'd be like, getting on the bus, like, heads ringing. I mean, he just got in a fist fight against their best fighter. Yeah. And they go fight another dude, like, every day.

[Dave Portnoy]

That sucks.

[Harry Satel]

So imagine going to bed every night being like, I gotta beat this out. I gotta try to beat the. Out of this.

[Dave Portnoy]

Random fighting on skates makes it so much funnier. That's like having, like, a karate on a tightrope.

[Harry Satel]

Yeah.

[Francis]

It's like. And now his career is, you know, being on a fun podcast, sitting at home talking to his buddies, and then occasionally going into, like, putting a suit on and being one of the most celebrated analysts in the NHL. It's very much. To me, it's like. It's like taking a. A bull that's being ridden by rodeo cowboys and having spurs dug into his sides for 15 years, and then after a while, being like, okay, now we're gonna just put you out in a nice pasture, by the way. You can just all. All of those female cows, and you're gonna just be a mating guy from now on.

[Dave Portnoy]

But every now and then, when the Irish travelers come around, he's got to be that.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry Satel]

What did they call themselves?

[Dave Portnoy]

Irish travelers?

[Harry Satel]

Is that there? Was that their name?

[Francis]

Yeah, that's like. Yeah, it's like.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's like gypsies or. I don't know if you can even say that. Like, they're in Texas.

[Harry Satel]

They just go around fighting people.

[Francis]

No, they do. They do bad stuff. They break laws Well, I think fist.

[Harry Satel]

Fighting in a restaurant is pretty.

[Francis]

Hold on, I'll look it up.

[Dave Portnoy]

All right. Can we talk about Kraken? Can we talk about Kraken? If you're going to trade crypto, do it right. No sketchy platforms, no sketchier customer support. That's why we only trust Kraken. Kraken lets you buy, sell and swap over 300 cryptos without lags, crashes, or clownery. Buying crypto manually, that's old school. Recurring buys lets you automate your instruments so you can stack stats with even think without even thinking about it. DCA done, right. Buy more when prices drop, less when they spike. Link your bank a minute, set it, forget it, and let your portfolio go. And you could use crack and pay instant crypto payments. No more excuses whether you're covering for a lost bet, splitting the tab after a night out, or sending funds for the next wild adventure. Maybe you're going to my. Maybe you're going to Miami. Maybe you're going to Wyoming.

[Harry Satel]

Who knows?

[Dave Portnoy]

Who knows? But Kraken pay will let you move money instantly with zero fees and no banks holding things up. So quit waiting. Head to kraken.com barstool not investment advice. Crypto trading involve risk of loss and is offered to U.S. customers, excluding Washington, New York and Maine through PayWord Interactive Incorporated. All right, guys, can we talk about Sony Picture Classics? Sony Picture Classics. Sony Picture Classics proudly presents. Oh, hi. The new comedy, directed by Sophie Brooks and starring Molly Gordon as Iris and Logan Larman as Isaac, about their first.

[Harry Satel]

Romantic weekend getaway as a couple that goes away or that goes awry. Goes awry.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, now this. This has my interest piqued.

[Harry Satel]

Convinced she's met her perfect guy, Iris goes increasingly ridiculous. Goes to increasingly ridiculous and irrational lengths to prove Isaac that they are meant to be together, including chaining him to a bed.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, my God. Do not give away the plot. I hate when I get too much of the plot.

[Harry Satel]

I know. This is a dark romantic comedy, all right? It takes on the highs and lows of modern dating in ways it makes us all a little crazy. Ojai has played to last.

[Dave Portnoy]

My guess is that they're. That they're. One is from Ohio and one's from Hawaii. And it's like, oh, hi. It's like Ohio, Hawaii. They're states or something like that.

[Harry Satel]

Oh, High. Contains one of the best comedy sex scenes to grace the big screen in some time. What now? I'm hooked. See Ohi, Starring Molly Gordon and Logan Lerman. And Logan Lerman. Only in theaters on July 28th. Tickets are on sale [e-mail]. that's.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, it might be July 25th.

[Harry Satel]

What did I say?

[Dave Portnoy]

28Th.

[Harry Satel]

That could be a five or an eight. That's O HHI movie.com for more info.

[Dave Portnoy]

I gotta see that.

[Harry Satel]

It honestly could be a nine.

[Dave Portnoy]

The movie out of ten, definitely. All righty.

[Harry Satel]

Let's talk about Netflix. I mean, we love Netflix. Happy Gilmore is returning to Netflix. Well, Happy Gilmore one is actually already back on Netflix, I believe. And I believe on Friday, Happy Gilmore 2 comes out.

[Dave Portnoy]

I heard such good things about it.

[Harry Satel]

I've heard great things. Happy gilmore's returning after 29 years. Adam Sandler is bringing his iconic and beloved character back to the screen. Featuring Julie Bowen, Christopher McDonald.

[Dave Portnoy]

They brought the gang back together.

[Harry Satel]

Benito Antonio from the first one.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's. The first one's one of the best movies of all time. If you like comedy and you sit, you're here. It's not a boy that you know.

[Harry Satel]

Julie Bowen, too. Can't go wrong.

[Dave Portnoy]

She's a classic. She's an absolute class.

[Harry Satel]

Modern family also features pro golfers.

[Francis]

Rory.

[Harry Satel]

Oh, Rory McElroy, Scotty Shelf there. And Brooks Koepka and Bryson Dan. Oh, wow, there's a lot of golfers. Okay. Bryson Dechambo, Justin Thomas. That's all the bros. A lot of golfers. I wonder if that was fulfilling for Scotty.

[Dave Portnoy]

You have to hope the seeing the movie on Netflix definitely will be fulfilling for me. There's not a doubt in my mind.

[Harry Satel]

And you can go to your Happy place on July 25th with Happy Gilmore 2, only on Netflix. Can't wait.

[Dave Portnoy]

What. What are Irish travelers? And why do they have such a bad rap? I never even heard of them before this, and then everything I see is like, this is the only group you can be racist towards is the Irish travelers. They're so bad.

[Harry Satel]

Oh, you the only group you can be racist. I thought you meant, like, oh.

[Francis]

They're also known as tinkers or pavis, and they're an indigenous nomadic ethnic group with origins in Ireland. They have a distinct culture, language, and traditions and have lived as a separate group for centuries, often on the fringes of mainstream Irish society. While traditionally nomadic, many now live in houses or caravans on designated sites. So maybe there. Maybe it was just this particular group.

[Dave Portnoy]

But I know there's, like, a group in Texas. There's maybe even a community of them in Texas or something like that.

[Francis]

This guy was these guys that attacked biz were. They were criminals.

[Harry Satel]

Yeah, they were tinkers.

[Dave Portnoy]

They Were Tinker, Taylor, soldier spies?

[Harry Satel]

Isn't that what they were called?

[Dave Portnoy]

Tinkers?

[Harry Satel]

Tinkers.

[Francis]

I don't know.

[Harry Satel]

Wasn't that one of the names for them?

[Dave Portnoy]

Yes, it was.

[Francis]

Was it?

[Dave Portnoy]

That was one of the two names you said. And that's probably like a heavy slur.

[Harry Satel]

Yeah, but I thought you were saying we were allowed to be racist.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, well, if a Japanese person says tinker, hey, they're tinkers.

[Harry Satel]

Hey.

[Dave Portnoy]

Or 4A tankers.

[Harry Satel]

Come quick. There's a couple tinkers in the lobby.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's really just them trying to say thinkers. There are some thinkers in the lobby. Or an intellectual group. Were all tankers.

[Harry Satel]

There's a misunderstood group of geniuses who.

[Dave Portnoy]

Have like shitty accents. They're clearly idiots. Just trying to spread the good word.

[Harry Satel]

Can't stop getting in fights.

[Dave Portnoy]

They're so misunderstood. We're all tankers.

[Harry Satel]

We're trying to tell you guys. We're trying to tell you guys the reason behind global warming. We found the cure.

[Dave Portnoy]

We figured out space, time travel. Or baked tank cars.

[Harry Satel]

Oh, these are those punk ass Irish guys. Kill them.

[Dave Portnoy]

We need our enforcer to fight you guys. Tankers. Column. What's Colin been up to? Column with the ESPYs, bro. We haven't talked about the ESPYs.

[Francis]

No, let's talk about the ESPYs.

[Dave Portnoy]

Congratulations on your big writing gig.

[Harry Satel]

Yeah, I got to write for the sbs. That was cool. Shout out to Shane.

[Francis]

Big ups to Harry getting. Getting his. His jokes into the sb.

[Dave Portnoy]

Well, his one joke where you were like, no, Matt's wife should be black.

[Harry Satel]

How did he write that? It was pretty cool. The credits were pretty cool. I didn't. No one expected that. And we were like. I mean like the third credit, it was like Shane Gillis, producers and then.

[Dave Portnoy]

You, Sarah Tiana, Lev Fair.

[Harry Satel]

Lev Gardini. They spelled my name with two L's.

[Francis]

Sean.

[Harry Satel]

Sean.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, Some classic jokes. Don't tell us which ones were in there. I wanna. I want to think they were all yours, but I also know that's for me. I know. I know it was a successful ass monologue because I saw both Peter Rosenberg and like people on like, who are pretty left and then like Nick Fuentes, people who are pretty far right, all being like, that sucked.

[Harry Satel]

Yeah, it was like.

[Dave Portnoy]

It was. It was panned by the extremes of both sides and I uproariously laughed at it all.

[Harry Satel]

Yeah, it's just insane to like inbait. Just another thing that you're like, I didn't realize chain was that big is when you like. While he was doing the monologue. The jokes were at like50,000 likes on Twitter.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Harry Satel]

Like, people were clipping it out and posting it immediately.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Harry Satel]

And it was like, already going viral.

[Dave Portnoy]

On, like, accounts that just have, like, drew ski clips and like.

[Harry Satel]

Yeah, yeah, I gotta make an account like that. Yeah, that's passive income.

[Dave Portnoy]

Comedy. Comedy sass. Like comedy hub. Yeah, something like that.

[Francis]

Sas clips.

[Dave Portnoy]

Sas clips.

[Harry Satel]

No, I'm talking about. I'm just gonna start clipping up Shane's clips and making money off of them. You guys have misunderstood me.

[Dave Portnoy]

No, I. I got my own clips.

[Francis]

Get in line. I've been scalping his tickets for the last three years.

[Harry Satel]

Everyone's got to eat.

[Francis]

Everyone's gotta eat.

[Dave Portnoy]

How did the process work of you guys?

[Francis]

Right?

[Dave Portnoy]

Like, how did that come to be?

[Harry Satel]

Shane texted us when he got. When they said. When he found out he was hosting, and then he just said, I need jokes for this. So we just wrote. We, me, Gardeni and Lev wrote. Wrote a ton of jokes. Wrote like 10 pages of jokes. And then we like cut it down.

[Dave Portnoy]

Size 8 font too, right?

[Harry Satel]

Oh, yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Really tiny jokes.

[Francis]

Were there any that you guys wrote that you really loved that did not get into the show that you.

[Harry Satel]

Well, there's obviously, like, there's a ton that we wrote that didn't get in because.

[Francis]

Was there one favorite of yours, one that you want to tell right now that you thought was really good?

[Harry Satel]

I sent the ones that I. That I liked to pft. But the. That Zach guy kind of butchered the one of them.

[Dave Portnoy]

He made you look bad.

[Harry Satel]

Well, he didn't. I don't think he had read them before, so he was reading them for the first time.

[Dave Portnoy]

Like, it was not the sass Zach beef.

[Harry Satel]

No, there's zero beef at all.

[Dave Portnoy]

It was very funny, bro.

[Harry Satel]

I just meant that he said. He said the last.

[Dave Portnoy]

Bro, you do not want to. With Zach.

[Harry Satel]

Oh, yeah, you said a lot. No, I sent it wrong. It's Angel. Reese spoke out online against the WNBA after a bad call from officials. Bold move considering she could face up to 25 push ups and fines.

[Francis]

That's good.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Nice.

[Harry Satel]

I thought the.

[Dave Portnoy]

That is funny.

[Harry Satel]

There was just a lot of that we couldn't. You couldn't say because it's abc, so.

[Dave Portnoy]

Right. You were trying to call Carl Anthony Towns the f. Slur.

[Harry Satel]

Of course.

[Dave Portnoy]

And I was like, yeah, whoa, bro, that's too much.

[Francis]

I got a joke. Ready for this one? Yeah, I think. I'm not sure if I'm going to get my wording right, but There was a rumor that Angel. Reese's rivalry with Caitlin Clark had gotten so bad that she decided to go the route of Gilbert Arenas. And before the All Star Game, she put the guns out on the floor of the Rock locker room. But she called them Reese's Pieces.

[Harry Satel]

Yes. Yeah, that's funny.

[Francis]

Not bad, right?

[Dave Portnoy]

If you can work. Make them into, like, strap on dildos, I feel like that would really take it to another level.

[Harry Satel]

We had one that was funny. It was. It was like, the WNBA is in 2k this year. But don't worry, you can turn it off in settings or you can disable it in settings.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, my God. And that's what people's like, main beef on both sides was jokes about the wnba.

[Harry Satel]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We had a bunch of. On, like, on Shador. I don't know. We had a ton of jokes. I mean, they were all. They're all funny jokes.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's just.

[Harry Satel]

You don't really get to choose. Like, it's like, we just.

[Francis]

What if you did this one? No, actually, I keep thinking, what if Shador was Hodor's black cousin, short for shut the door instead of hold the door Shador.

[Harry Satel]

I wanted to do something about. We never came up with anything, but there was something about Shador. Sanders got. He got, like, pulled over twice for speeding, and he got like. It was like. I read some ESPN article about. It was like he had. He racked up, like, 289 in speeding tickets. But I wanted to do something about, like, him having to hit up Travis Hunter to pay it off. But we never figured anything out.

[Dave Portnoy]

Poor Travis Hunter, dude.

[Harry Satel]

Well, it is funny because Travis Hunter's contract is, like, $75 million and what's.

[Dave Portnoy]

About to be half that.

[Francis]

Why?

[Harry Satel]

What's happening?

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, he's his. His girlfriend's already. Or his wife, who he just married without a prenup, is already, like, crying on Instagram.

[Harry Satel]

Really?

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. She's about to fucking.

[Harry Satel]

That's fucked. He'll be fine. He'll make so much more money.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, he's gonna make us a ton of money.

[Harry Satel]

It sucks, though.

[Dave Portnoy]

Damn. So you were in tires and you wrote jokes for Shane for the sbs.

[Harry Satel]

Helped.

[Dave Portnoy]

You guys are basically fueling his career right now.

[Francis]

Look, you chose children. You made your choice. You made your two beds, and now they have to lie in them while you change their diapers. Meanwhile, Harry and I are going to continue to forge our careers. I was headed that direction. I got out of it. What do you want me to say? I'm dedicated to my future Future.

[Dave Portnoy]

Now there's George from Tires on a Hollywood Walk of Fame star. Son of a. What have I done?

[Harry Satel]

But yeah, I. I won't lie. I was pretty fired up about the credits. That two L's people were like, sass has got to be so mad. I was like, dude, I didn't give a.

[Dave Portnoy]

You call me whatever.

[Harry Satel]

I know, sir. You call me Henry Settle. I don't care.

[Francis]

You should just go by that from now on.

[Harry Satel]

I know else.

[Francis]

Oh, that's Henry.

[Dave Portnoy]

Sao.

[Harry Satel]

Yeah. Adel.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Your manager.

[Harry Satel]

Settle.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry Satel]

The opposite.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's what you should go by. That's honestly how you're most known by most people. That's how your name's been seen. The most is Harry Satel. You start going by it.

[Francis]

I don't know.

[Harry Satel]

I don't know if that many people know. I didn't really tell anybody. I just told you guys. Does.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Harry Satel]

And my parents, of course.

[Francis]

That you were writing the jokes.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, well, I told my parents.

[Harry Satel]

As you should.

[Dave Portnoy]

They went right to the graveyard.

[Francis]

I told Dave.

[Harry Satel]

You told Dave?

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry Satel]

Smart.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, he's pissed. He's furious.

[Harry Satel]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

You should have kicked it up. You. How much did you pay Dave of what you made?

[Harry Satel]

Everything, obviously.

[Dave Portnoy]

You obviously have to kick up to the boss man. Yeah.

[Harry Satel]

Got the check from espn and I said, can you guys rewrite this to Barstool?

[Dave Portnoy]

And that's probably what made them sick that Dave's actually getting paid by ESPN this whole time. You were the Trojan horse. They sent in Harry Satel under a fucking pseudonym in disguise. We know Harry Settle. It's got to be a different guy.

[Harry Satel]

Yeah. There's actually a plan between me and Dave all along. Since the beginning. Since five years.

[Francis]

If you rewrite the. If you rearrange the letters of Harry Satell, it actually forms the name. I am Lord Portnoy.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Harry Satel]

Oh, really?

[Francis]

That's Tar Marvalo. You ever. You've heard Harry. Did you read Harry Potter?

[Dave Portnoy]

Tom Marvolo.

[Harry Satel]

I watched the movies.

[Dave Portnoy]

I am.

[Francis]

I am. It was an anagram of I am Lord Voldemort. And I don't know how we never saw that coming.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's so. That's so good thinking of the anagram. Especially because she had the pace to drop it. It's like four books in.

[Francis]

She was flying.

[Dave Portnoy]

She. I don't care what she thinks about trans people. That's awesome.

[Francis]

I don't know how she didn't run out of napkins.

[Harry Satel]

Let me get the club.

[Francis]

You know, she started writing the first one on napkins. Right.

[Harry Satel]

That's such not true.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's true.

[Harry Satel]

Every time I've seen something, like in every movie, when they're trying to describe, like, a writer, they're always, like, writing on napkin. It's like, dude, who's writing on. Have you ever tried to write on a napkin? It rips immediately.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry Satel]

It's impossibly hard.

[Francis]

Trust me, I have written.

[Harry Satel]

You'd be ready. You'd be better off.

[Francis]

So many times. Cute girls at fucking coffee houses. And I just give up. Because the pen. I'm so excited about it.

[Harry Satel]

You would literally be better taking, like, a plastic butter knife and carving the beginning of Harry Potter into this table than writing it on a napkin.

[Francis]

It's a little bit of an exaggeration. What kind of napkins are we talking about?

[Harry Satel]

Talking about every time I've tried to write on a napkin.

[Dave Portnoy]

Especially if she's not.

[Harry Satel]

If she's. She's writing dialogue.

[Dave Portnoy]

She's.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Flowery descriptions of Hermione Granger's hair. Doesn't make sense. Poor establishments have the worst napkins. Yeah, you have to go somewhere. I mean, country clubs, they don't even have a paper napkin.

[Francis]

It's like that scene from Men in Black where they're taking the test and all the smart people around him keep puncturing the test because they're taking it and they're writing it on their knees and stuff. And he finally gets up and pulls the table over.

[Dave Portnoy]

Table. Yes.

[Francis]

And it's very loud and very long, but ultimately. Yeah.

[Harry Satel]

Does it screech?

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, it's just like. That's literally. Was it.

[Harry Satel]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Have you not seen Men in Black?

[Harry Satel]

No, I have. I've seen the first one.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's what he's talking about.

[Harry Satel]

I don't remember it, though. Have it on. I have it on Blu Ray and dvd.

[Dave Portnoy]

HD dvd.

[Harry Satel]

Yep.

[Dave Portnoy]

I remember HD DVD like it was yesterday.

[Harry Satel]

Are not blind Blu Ray these days.

[Dave Portnoy]

I know.

[Harry Satel]

It's a shame Blu Ray went under.

[Dave Portnoy]

I miss it. Like it was my.

[Harry Satel]

Whoever.

[Dave Portnoy]

Whoever came up with this. Probably rich as hell.

[Harry Satel]

Blu Ray. Yeah, I would assume so. Ray Ray from the Blue Man Group.

[Francis]

I was on that. I was about to make exactly that joke.

[Harry Satel]

Guys, I got this crazy idea. You're gonna love it.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, but we just don't want to name it after you.

[Harry Satel]

Yeah, I just don't understand why it has to have blue in the title. Guys, I'm doing this for us.

[Dave Portnoy]

Fine. Just.

[Harry Satel]

Ray, lose the blue. No.

[Dave Portnoy]

He was just super depressed.

[Harry Satel]

What are you munching at, Francis?

[Dave Portnoy]

Some Oreos, Say a week Old.

[Francis]

Oreos don't go bad.

[Dave Portnoy]

Deep down, you are more of a trash panda than sasses.

[Harry Satel]

Absolutely. But you just press it. It's been known. He just doesn't like to touch on it. Because when I threw up from the Jolly Ranchers, I was thinking about Francis throwing up from his red meat. And then I was like, I'm trying to think of which one's worse I threw up from. I think throwing up red meat's worse.

[Dave Portnoy]

I threw up from a trienta peach iced tea from Starbucks one time.

[Harry Satel]

Really?

[Dave Portnoy]

I went straight to a bathroom. I, like, chugged it like, 30 ounces. And I just went straight to a toilet and exorcism.

[Harry Satel]

Vomiting, dude, throwing up is. Is genuinely, I think, the worst thing that can happen.

[Francis]

For some reason, when you're drunk, it's fine.

[Harry Satel]

Oh, when you're drunk, throwing up is like. You're like, I'll be right back.

[Francis]

You don't even. I'm gonna.

[Harry Satel]

You don't even tell anyone.

[Francis]

Throwing up drunk is like jerking off, hungover.

[Harry Satel]

Oh, yeah.

[Francis]

It's the easiest thing in the world.

[Harry Satel]

It just comes out, dude, throwing up, throwing up sober. Like, in between pukes, you're looking in the mirror, you're, like, crying.

[Francis]

I don't know if I'm ever gonna get back from this.

[Dave Portnoy]

Be on all fours or like, your forearms on the ground with your ass in the air next to a toilet.

[Harry Satel]

And it's like, it's. You're, you're, you're, you're yelling.

[Musical Guest]

Oh.

[Francis]

In between. I groan, I go, yeah. Catch my breath. I go, huh?

[Harry Satel]

It's awful. Oh, God.

[Dave Portnoy]

Your foot, Your face on a cold floor.

[Harry Satel]

It's actually, I'm starting to come up with some. With a little bit of a. A theory because I haven't thrown up. So now I've thrown up twice since I stopped drinking. And previous to that, I had only ever thrown up, like, once sober. And now I'm throwing up, up. And so I'm wondering maybe, like, outside of, like, when I was, like, very young, but, like, now I'm wondering maybe when you're drinking and you're throwing up all the time, maybe you're like expelling sickness. Maybe you're getting ahead of the throw.

[Francis]

Up, the sick throw up, so you should start drinking.

[Harry Satel]

Like, why would you have. Why would you have a buildup of indigestion if you're just puking from drinking? That doesn't happen.

[Francis]

It's not indigestion that causes it.

[Harry Satel]

That's what caused my throw up. This Week is a sickness known as indigestion. But, like, isn't that a good. Like, if you think about it, like.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, I'm not. Yeah, yeah.

[Harry Satel]

Like, think about this.

[Francis]

Like, oh, no, I've got indigestion, say, from the 700 lifesaver gummies I ate.

[Harry Satel]

All right, picture this. Picture this. Same. We go out, us three go out, right? We go. We get. We go to a nice dinner. We go to four. Charles. We get the steak right. We get. I'm. I'm just drinking Diet Cokes and I'm eating the steak, and I'm having the burger. I'm probably gonna have a little bit of the cake at the end, right? And you guys. You guys eat the steak. You guys love the steak?

[Dave Portnoy]

Of course.

[Harry Satel]

Love it.

[Dave Portnoy]

Of course.

[Harry Satel]

You're hounding the steak.

[Francis]

We're eating the burger, but okay, sure. And the French dip.

[Dave Portnoy]

We get two burgers so we don't have to cut them in fours.

[Harry Satel]

Which is insane that we do that. But we'll get the two burgers and we'll cut them.

[Francis]

What do you mean, we do it? We did it one time.

[Harry Satel]

We was like, happy birthday, Harry. Little corner of a burger.

[Francis]

You know what? Please remind me. As I recall, you didn't even want to get the fucking burger. And I made you get the burger. I said, we're getting the burger, and you're like, I don't want a burger.

[Harry Satel]

I'm totally kidding.

[Francis]

I don't want the burger.

[Harry Satel]

Totally joking.

[Francis]

It's not kidding. It's lying.

[Harry Satel]

No, it's a joke. The burger was phenomenal, and it honestly was big enough for all of us.

[Francis]

And you didn't want it, right?

[Harry Satel]

No, I didn't want it. I wanted the steak.

[Francis]

You wanted the steak. And I said, we gotta get the burger.

[Harry Satel]

But back to my original point, you.

[Dave Portnoy]

Have your little slider.

[Harry Satel]

So we eat the steak, you guys get faced.

[Francis]

Oh, I. I don't think we did.

[Harry Satel]

No, we're not. This is hypothetical.

[Francis]

Oh, I'm sorry.

[Harry Satel]

You guys get faced. I'm sober. Okay, say.

[Dave Portnoy]

You.

[Harry Satel]

Say we find out. We, like, maybe it turns out. We don't know this yet, but it turns out the steak was a little bit bad, right? It had been a little bit too age.

[Dave Portnoy]

Not for Charles, bro.

[Harry Satel]

I know. Make it somewhere crazy coming from 4 Charles. But this is what happened. You guys get shit faced, you puke up the steak. No food poisoning. Me, I'm out for a week. Out of commission, Sick as a dog.

[Dave Portnoy]

So you're saying that alcohol, the sickness was actually the Cure the entire time.

[Harry Satel]

Exactly. Which is why I'm gonna start drinking again today.

[Dave Portnoy]

Just so you can hopefully throw up any bacteria that hits your. Your gut.

[Francis]

Also, the alcohol probably kills off some of the bad enzymes in your stomach.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, the enzymes, right.

[Harry Satel]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Think about the enzymes.

[Harry Satel]

You taking probiotics, Francis?

[Francis]

No, I. I just. I just forget to. I would. I know. I should align.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Harry Satel]

Number one doctor recommended. But they all say that.

[Francis]

I like the. The yogurts that have them in it.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, I have some, like, yogurts that came in a, like, freezing box or something like that. Like these expensive ass yogurts in my.

[Harry Satel]

Pretty sure all yogurt has probiotics in it.

[Dave Portnoy]

This is. I don't know, but it has great marketing if nothing else.

[Francis]

I don't think gogurt has probiotics.

[Harry Satel]

That's why I said Greek.

[Francis]

I don't think my flips.

[Harry Satel]

Yeah, no, I think. I think you're. You're Chobani. Flips, probably.

[Francis]

Dude, I was. I. I almost bought at the Latin grocery store, the Oreo. Top of the yogurt. You know what I'm talking about?

[Harry Satel]

Yes.

[Francis]

What? Yogurt. What's that called again?

[Dave Portnoy]

Flip. No, it's not your body. It's like Dan, and I think it.

[Francis]

Was Danon or you'll play.

[Harry Satel]

Oh, you're talking about the one that it sits on top and then you got. It doesn't flip. There's no flip.

[Dave Portnoy]

The flip is the original flip.

[Harry Satel]

It's the original flip.

[Francis]

Tinfoil, and it's already.

[Harry Satel]

I believe you're describing a yogurt porf.

[Francis]

Boy. Dude. Oh, no.

[Harry Satel]

You're up. You're up.

[Francis]

Here we go again.

[Dave Portnoy]

Next. Fan out.

[Francis]

What is happening here?

[Harry Satel]

Stuttering over my words.

[Francis]

You've been eating a lot of lately.

[Harry Satel]

I don't even know what that would mean.

[Dave Portnoy]

He's just curious.

[Francis]

My tongue is tired from all the alphabets I spell on her vulva. That's amazing. Okay, well.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yes.

[Harry Satel]

Any other thoughts? I'm gonna be in Wyoming this week, so I'm gonna be off the grid. Don't try and reach me. Don't try and find me. All right?

[Francis]

I'm gonna find you.

[Harry Satel]

You ever have a teacher like that or. I don't know. I don't know if you guys would have. Did you guys ever have a teacher where it would be like. She'd be like, laptop closes at 5pm for me. And I'll be like, well, we're doing homework all night and I have questions. Why can't you answer those questions? And they'd be like, laptop closes at 5.

[Dave Portnoy]

Homework is such a fucking scam.

[Harry Satel]

I know.

[Francis]

Were you the kid who really would be in the middle of a homework assignment and reach out to the teacher for clarification all the time?

[Harry Satel]

That's weird because I would do the wrong assignments constantly.

[Francis]

Yeah. But that I would go to the smartest kid in the class and be.

[Harry Satel]

Like in the class.

[Francis]

So you had to know for the other kids, no help who reached out.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, you to pass it down the chain. Like when school gets closed and you just have to call the next family.

[Harry Satel]

Road. You're doing roan.com on Wednesday.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. First thing in the morning. 9:00am why am you gonna come through?

[Harry Satel]

You're gonna be two hours ahead of me. No, I'm just thinking I might. I was wondering if I could send some mid trip updates. Send you some pictures of pictures of some fish. But I think we'll be just starting.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh for roan.com we deadass. Should make the like I came, I saw, I fished Wyoming 2025 shirts.

[Harry Satel]

I know. We'll get them.

[Dave Portnoy]

What do you think they should look like? What should the design be on the front? Like a big ass mountain range or.

[Harry Satel]

Like what is the Wyoming flag? What's their state flag?

[Dave Portnoy]

It's got to be like Colorado's seen.

[Harry Satel]

Colorado's just like a big circle with a sea.

[Francis]

No, it's the sun. Yellow, red.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, is there a cowboy on it.

[Harry Satel]

On the Wyoming one?

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, a fat buffalo.

[Harry Satel]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's sick.

[Francis]

That is so cool. That is cool.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's so racist.

[Harry Satel]

Oh, that's all. That's an awesome flag.

[Dave Portnoy]

So fucking racist.

[Francis]

I'll be in Phoenix, Boston, Philadelphia, San Diego, Helium Austin this fall. And I'll be honest with you, the December Boston shows, they're already going really selling quickly.

[Harry Satel]

Boston's the best.

[Francis]

So if you want to come see me in Boston, I would get.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, we didn't even get to flame that Boston CEO. Maybe they'll be at your show. That'd be so. Oh, nice punch up.

[Francis]

Stop by Cold Francis Ellis. That's where you get your tickets.

[Harry Satel]

Should we talk about Coldplay?

[Dave Portnoy]

Talk about Coldplay.

[Francis]

I cold plunged, took old play.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's sick.

[Harry Satel]

I love those AI The AI remakes of those.

[Dave Portnoy]

I think they are great. Everyone's calling them AI Slop. I'm eating the slop.

[Harry Satel]

I'm eating up the slop of the remakes. Like them them. He's sitting there with his arms and then the camera comes and he's like, turn off the camera.

[Dave Portnoy]

Or Dwight and Pam.

[Harry Satel]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

No, it was Dwight.

[Harry Satel]

Oh, it was Dwight.

[Dave Portnoy]

Because he's cheating.

[Francis]

Ah.

[Dave Portnoy]

As if Dwight had Pam. Imagine that the CEO's wife was actually the one that got cheated on. Was a. Is a baddie.

[Harry Satel]

Really?

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. I didn't look it up into the bro.

[Harry Satel]

Into the.

[Dave Portnoy]

Well, it was the biggest thing that's happened online since.

[Francis]

I know. It really was.

[Dave Portnoy]

Since Will Smith slapped.

[Harry Satel]

Probably. It was announced that I wrote for the ESPYs. Honestly. Yeah. No, I was thinking Will Smith, probably. It was pretty big. I mean, he'd taken the dive. Was a wild move.

[Dave Portnoy]

I can't explain why, but it was full dive. It was such a Boston move. Everything about it was so Boston.

[Francis]

What do you mean? He took a dive?

[Dave Portnoy]

He, like, ducky dove.

[Harry Satel]

The cameras panned at him and he dove. He jumped out of the way of the camera, which is why it went viral, because everyone was like, oh, okay, so they're having an affair, obviously.

[Francis]

Yeah. But then Chris Martin also said, oh, they're having an affair.

[Dave Portnoy]

Once he dove.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah, I know.

[Dave Portnoy]

Because he was like, why did this guy.

[Francis]

I was wondering.

[Dave Portnoy]

He looked. That was the guiltiest thing you could ever do.

[Francis]

I was wondering if you.

[Dave Portnoy]

If he.

[Francis]

If they hadn't stopped holding each other and just leaned into it. Does anyone find out about that?

[Harry Satel]

His wife definitely finds out still, for sure.

[Francis]

How?

[Harry Satel]

He's the CEO of a company. Actually, maybe not. Because if they were in, like, a company box suite, they probably all know already.

[Francis]

Everybody here, we're signing NDAs.

[Dave Portnoy]

Maybe there was a woman, right? I mean, the woman next to them obviously knew.

[Harry Satel]

Obviously. But they said. I saw online that they said that she works for hr.

[Dave Portnoy]

The woman does.

[Harry Satel]

Someone did a deep dive and found her on LinkedIn. She's the HR person.

[Dave Portnoy]

Ever since.

[Francis]

The girlfriend?

[Harry Satel]

No, the other girls like screaming. Oh, no, not the cheater.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, well, the cheater is the head of hr.

[Harry Satel]

Oh, really? Maybe that's what I was thinking of.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yes, the cheater's the head of H. But if the whole. And the whole Internet is always, like. Since then, they've been like, HR is the scummiest people in the company anyway.

[Harry Satel]

Yeah, people always say that.

[Dave Portnoy]

Is that true? I've never heard.

[Harry Satel]

They're the ones that, like, fire people.

[Francis]

Luigi Mangione. He's gonna break out and go kill the next head of HR somewhere.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. That's who they should be killing, those cheating philanderers. But I think that they could have gotten away with it. I mean, well, Boston is a small town. Small Secrets.

[Harry Satel]

Small town with a lot of secrets. Not as many as Penn State, but close.

[Dave Portnoy]

Bro. Why did you have to bring that back up? Just full circle, just because I'm bringing up Boston? You felt defensive. Yeah, that you guys are keeping so many fucking secrets with your CEOs in Philly. They just cling on to each other.

[Harry Satel]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Act like nothing happened. Yeah. And then they did the husband's fist fight in the tunnel underneath the stadium.

[Harry Satel]

And it's over the husband's piss about their wives when they get home to have fun at Coldplay. You wanted to go to Coldplay. You said you didn't even want to go.

[Dave Portnoy]

You don't even like col. You make fun of Coldplay all the time.

[Francis]

You really love me. You'd know. I don't like them.

[Dave Portnoy]

Who am I supposed to call?

[Francis]

I'm more of a Train fan. All right, Sweet.

[Harry Satel]

Should we get into episode two? All right, we'll see you guys next week. Thank you for listening. We hope you all enjoy your weekend. Goodbye.

[Dave Portnoy]

Now she's back from that soul vacation.

[Harry Satel]

I thought that was way easier to.

[Francis]

Be honest.

[Musical Guest]

House was over still, still underground so I looked older to you Came around I was only falling one way I was only falling away Now I come alive I was only falling one way I was only falling one.

[Harry Satel]

Way.

[Musical Guest]

I was only falling one way I was only falling one way.

[Dave Portnoy]

That.

[Musical Guest]

Is to your eyes did you realize no one can take me alive I was only falling one way Sam. No one could take me alive.