BoyDadDotCom with Rone | Son of a Boy Dad #379

Summary

Son of a Boy Dad #379 — "BoyDadDotCom with Rone"

Date: February 26, 2026
Host: Barstool Sports (Rone, Lil Sasquatch/Sass, Francis, Producer: Sean “Rone”)

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Episode Overview

In this rich, freewheeling installment of “Son of a Boy Dad,” the guys riff on everything from Barstool office shenanigans and gift-giving, to cheating at intelligence tests, generational beefs, and the unexpected wisdom (or lack thereof) in adulthood. At its core, the episode serves as a tongue-in-cheek “life skills” seminar for Lil Sasquatch, with Rone and Francis holding court as reluctant, sometimes nihilistic mentors. The trio spins effortlessly through deeply relatable topics: respect for elders, social conflict, the perils of travel, and a loving roast of institutional quirks—whether TSA Precheck or prison “chefs.”

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1. Opening and Gift-Giving Rituals

Timestamps: 00:37–05:09

• Secret Santa Vibes: Presents Wednesday kicks off, as Rone hands out branded sweatshirts and custom toques. The banter kicks in instantly:
  • Rone: “And of course, some custom toques. A toque with your name on it.” (02:18)
  • Sass: “I didn’t expect it to actually have my name. That’s sick. Should we all wear them for the episode or is that too much? Free ad.” (02:30)
• Gift Exchange Mockery: They poke fun at the tradition and each other’s reactions to gifts, tying it back to their inside office jokes.
• Segue to Barstool Culture: Conversation veers toward casual disses about regional home pride and workplace politics (“You besmirched his new home… That’s so you, it’s crazy.”) (03:59)

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2. The Barstool Wonderlic IQ Test “Scandal”

Timestamps: 05:10–16:44

• Test Cheating Confession: Sass admits to getting all the answers and still only scoring a 35 out of 50, with Francis one point behind—sparking accusations and hilarious self-deprecation.
  • Francis: “Did the Wonderlic video come out?… you two are the two top scorers.” (06:47)
  • Sass: “I cheated the entire thing… I had every answer, and I still got 15 wrong.” (09:10, 15:17)
• Office Fallout: The segment shines with they-mad-at-me energy, as the office drama over scores is openly mocked.
  • Rone: “Case in point, I gave Sass all of the answers… and he still got 15 of them wrong.” (15:08)
  • Sass: “It was like I was allowed to cheat, but I was like sweating when I was doing it.” (09:35)
  • Francis: “If I were a true test taker, I’d do it against Tommy. No talking, head to head.” (17:01)
• Meta-joke: They riff on a possible “who can cheat best” contest, extending their relentless one-upmanship.
• Notable Moment: The trio parses “spurious” vs “scurrilous” in rumors—turning an SAT vocab word into podcast gold. (35:53)

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3. Social Dynamics: Respect & Conflict Across Generations

Timestamps: 31:37–48:01

• Respect for Elders, Debunked: Francis details a personal feud with a 55-year-old, leading to an existential reflection on the myth that adults always deserve respect.
  • Francis: “I have fundamentally realized that just because someone is older than me does not mean that they deserve respect.” (31:37)
  • Francis: “Age does not mean wisdom or maturity. Some people miss the bus.” (39:11)
• How to Handle Conflict: Francis outlines his scorched-earth approach to confrontation, causing laughs and big juxtapositions:
  • Francis: “There are literal group chats, which I didn’t start, that are solely used to vent frustrations about you.” (37:19)
• Physical vs. Social Confrontation: Debates on when (and if) it’s appropriate to physically fight or just “put someone down” (49:10+), with age-based moral calculus (don’t fight anyone over 60, but pepper spray from 60–85 is okay, jokes Rone).
  • Sass: “Once you pass 60, I think you kind of waive your right to fight people below 60.”
• Wisdom Transmission: Sass recalls learning (young at Barstool) that not every adult is in charge—and sometimes you gotta check them. (46:22)

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4. Friendship, Office Politics, and Rivalries

Timestamps: 11:20, 37:41–41:11, 92:41–98:04

• Deep Dives into Rivalries: Debate intensifies over how tightly to hold grudges, with stories of old schoolyard and current Barstool beefs.
• Friendship Codes: Francis and Sass hash out phone etiquette—when is it okay to call? Who’s not picking up? “It’s a one-way street.” (102:51+)
• Team Loyalty: Sass faces allegations from Jerry (another Barstool personality) that he cares more about the Telluride Bush team than Barstool:
  • “That is true. Now that I think about it... This never—That never happened… That’s diabolical.” (97:05–98:11)

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5. Museum and Cultural Philosophy

Timestamps: 59:32–61:01

• Museum Smackdown: Rone confesses a love for art museums over any, which Sass quickly derides:
  • Rone: “Give me the art museum every time. I hate natural history museums.” (59:50)
  • Sass: “Art museums suck ass… I'd rather see Monet’s paintbrush than his paintings.” (61:34)
• Arts vs. Tech vs. History: The debate hits on how enjoying creation versus creators reveals personality differences in the crew.

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6. Food, Prison Chefs, and Survival Humor

Timestamps: 62:42–66:00+

• Prison Kitchen Realities: Sass describes a video of Rikers Island “chefs”—i.e., prisoners stirring industrial vats with kayak paddles—and the demotion of a real chef turned inmate:
  • “It’s just a powder that they turn into potatoes. Powder into meat.” (66:01)
  • “That’s like calling the guy who stitched you up with a bed sheet a doctor.” (63:46)
• Starvation Expediencies: Riff on Shackleton’s crew eating their boots, segueing into whose boots would be tastiest as survival food (58:03, 58:51).

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7. The Realities of American Travel & TSA

Timestamps: 67:12–117:14

• TSA PreCheck and Global Entry Anxiety: Francis evangelizes TSA PreCheck and global entry, walking Harry through last-chance sign-up logistics; the confusion and gate agent drama escalates.
  • “You can do Global Entry and PreCheck under Global Entry. Kill two birds with one stone.” (107:01)
  • Harry: “I’m not going to Staples.”
• Airport Line Cutting Ethics: The most engaging back-and-forth of the episode covers airport etiquette—who deserves to cut the line when flights are in jeopardy?
  • Francis: “If someone comes up to me and I'm in line and they're like, 'My flight’s in 10 minutes, can I go ahead?' I say absolutely.” (111:32)
  • Sass: “No. I say, 'I'm going to miss my flight too, so go fuck yourself.'” (111:47)
• Sass’s Bad Traveler Identity: A running thread—Sass admits he’s a habitual risky flyer, choosing to suffer rather than ask for help. Francis admonishes him for failing to practice “reciprocal airport humanity.” (115:10)
  • Francis: “You are a terrible traveler.” (114:54)
  • Sass: “But I think I also allow myself to not be a great traveler… missing a flight at the end of the day is not the biggest deal in the world.” (117:38)

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8. Adulting, Self-Improvement, and Worldviews

Throughout

• Dropping out and Growing Up: Through all the bits, the meta-theme is “how to be a functioning man-child in a confusing world”—from grillings on test-taking, dressing for winter, to handling haters at 55.
• Self-knowledge as a Life Skill: The guys bridge generational divides with self-awareness and revisionist humility—poking holes in achievement metrics (test scores, gym routines) but also sharing “how we got here” nuggets.

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9. Style Notes and Consumer Culture

Timestamps: 78:01–82:45

• White Tees and Japanese Quality: Francis enthuses about Japanese-made basics, debating with Sass and Rone whether white tees or heavy Carhartt is best—and if Japanese Uniqlo really is as dope as rumored.
  • “There’s a store in Japan that only sells different types of white T-shirts… I ordered a couple of those.” (79:05)
  • “Uniqlo made in Japan is a far higher quality.” (77:39)
• McDonald’s Abroad: Quick tangent on whether McDonald's is really better in France/Japan, as the crew leans into food snobbery and worldliness.

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10. Miscellaneous Memorable Bits & Quotes

• On Adulthood: "Some people think that they are grown up and then they have to stop improving at any aspect of their life. ...They're not like, I need to become a more honest person." – Rone (40:03)
• On Generational Authority: “You grow up thinking that whatever an adult says is true or gospel and that they have the upper hand in whatever they say.” – Francis (46:00)
• On Real-Life Test Cheating: "It was like I was allowed to cheat, but I was, like, sweating when I was doing it." – Sass (09:35)
• On surviving Rikers: “It’s literally like they have a vat... time to make the mashed potatoes, and someone opens up like a bag of mulch.” – Sass (66:04)
• On Office Communication: "It's a one-way street. It's just a one-way street." – Rone (103:31)
• On Japanese Consumer Culture: "You get a job at McDonald's in Japan, that's a sign of, like, respect. An honor." – Sass (82:42)

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Notable Segments & Quotes by Timestamp

• Opening banter, gifts: 00:37–05:09
• Wonderlic test cheating scandal: 06:10–18:05
• Barstool office test drama: 12:08, 13:17
• Respect/ disrespect for elders: 31:37–41:11
• Conflict with older man, reading the confrontation: 36:34
• Physical confrontation ethics: 47:10–49:29
• Prison chef riff: 62:42–66:30
• Museum debate: 59:32–61:05
• Travel/airport etiquette debate (with Whitney anecdote): 110:36–117:14

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Overall Tone & Takeaways

• Language/Tone: Sarcastic, fast-paced, offbeat, laced with insider-y asides and barbed affection; riff-based rather than formal debate.
• Vibes: Slack-jawed wisdom eclipses faux bravado; every “life lesson” is delivered with a comedic undercut, but the attention to friendship and learning is genuine.
• For New Listeners:
  If you ever wondered what millennial mentorship sounds like—the self-doubting kind, anxious but eagle-eyed—start here. The episode gently roasts the myths of adulthood, the randomness of status, and the weird, ongoing project of learning to deal with others and yourself.

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End of Summary

Transcript

[A]

Hey, Son of a boy. Dad. Listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Life looks amazing through these. It feels so good on my brain to wear those. I feel. I feel like I'm on drugs wearing those.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Oh, I. Francis, that actually just tied your outfit together.

[B]

It was pretty untied.

[A]

No, I think it was tied.

[B]

No, when I had the coat on, it was tied.

[A]

This sets it off.

[B]

Yeah. These are new jeans.

[A]

I think that they. They're. They're perfectly sized.

[B]

They are perfectly sized.

[A]

What are we talking about? A 32, 34?

[B]

I think it's more like probably a 34.

[A]

32, 34 waist.

[B]

I don't know if I'm a 34. It always depends on the brand. I mean, some brands I can wear a 33.

[A]

Probably vanity size. Some when it's smaller, they're vanity sizing. They want to make you feel slim. You. Yeah, four is probably way more true.

[B]

I have so much to talk to you guys about today, which I feel like is probably good, since I'm assuming you guys don't have that much to talk about.

[C]

I got nothing.

[A]

I got a lot. I got a lot to talk about.

[B]

Hell, yeah. So, Sass, why don't you bring us in? Because I'm hot to trot, dude.

[C]

All right. All righty. Welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad Podcast. Today it is February 25th. It's 1:15pm welcome to HQ3. We're live from HQ3.

[A]

Well, not for anybody else. Except for ourselves.

[C]

Exactly.

[A]

Watching. They're not. Yeah, we're live to tape.

[C]

Live to tape from HQ3.

[A]

Should I start with the gifts?

[B]

Oh, we're doing presents Wednesday.

[A]

Yeah, Present Wednesday. This is what we call a curveball. This is a little bit of a curveball. Francis, you complimented this brand that I was wearing.

[B]

Oh, God damn.

[A]

Damn, Strafford. Wow. And they hooked it up, so I had them send it up. Had them send you over. I feel like that'd be nice. Nice upstate loungewear for you.

[B]

Super dope.

[A]

Sass, we got one for you as well.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

I had them send it. And by which I mean they unilaterally sent this stuff up.

[C]

This is a great sweatshirt.

[B]

Well, Harry's is what that looks like. Yours is. Is just screen printed, whereas mine's embroidered. His is stitched, so that's too bad.

[C]

A little flat, yours a little flashy.

[A]

And of course, some hus. Some custom toques. A toque with your name on it.

[C]

Oh, Hell, yeah.

[A]

Let me see with your name on it, Frank. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[C]

It's got my name on it. What the hell?

[A]

Oh, yeah. That's what I said.

[C]

I didn't expect it to actually have my name. That's sick. Should we all wear them for the episode, or is that too much? Free ad.

[B]

This looks like I work for Ford.

[A]

Ford. It's the Ford logo.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

See it now, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I thought that this is really your speed.

[B]

This is my speed. This looks like I played football for Stanford. Or actually, I dated one of the football players in Stanford. In the 1950s.

[A]

Right? It's the 50s.

[B]

My boy, he's pinned me.

[A]

Yeah. It's awesome you guys are going steady.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

I just really wanted you to have it.

[B]

And.

[A]

And by I did, I mean this brand. Wanted you guys to have it.

[B]

Shout out, Strafford.

[C]

Oh, you guys aren't putting yours on now?

[B]

Stratford on Avon.

[C]

I'm gonna throw mine on now. Well, yours is perfect for off my dusty Syracuse sweatshirt.

[A]

It goes with everything that you have.

[B]

That's a cool sweatshirt. Where'd you get that one?

[A]

Syracuse lax.

[C]

I got it for Christmas.

[B]

Are you wearing that? Are you wearing that because we just beat you to just be. Oh, no.

[C]

My sister's going to Syracuse.

[B]

Oh, nice. Yeah, that's cool.

[A]

Now everyone will know her.

[C]

Well, she's 17, so. It's up to them if they want to.

[A]

He said that Bo was pissed at us.

[B]

I could see that.

[C]

Yeah, me, too. I fully understood why.

[A]

Where your Stratford hat, bro?

[B]

Well, he shouldn't be mad at me and Roan.

[C]

No, no, he's mad at me.

[B]

Mad at you?

[A]

Well, I defended Birmingham. You besmirched his new home. That's like. That's so you. It's crazy.

[C]

Yeah. Good. Good sweatshirt.

[A]

Yeah. Would that be in your rotation?

[C]

Definitely. For the next couple weeks. At least.

[B]

Until you lose it.

[C]

Until I get, like, toothpaste on it or something.

[B]

Right, right, right, right.

[C]

Cool. Yeah. Great gifts.

[B]

Good gifts.

[A]

Yeah. I just wanted you boys to have something.

[C]

I got some good gifts for you, Customs. For.

[B]

For whom?

[C]

For the fellas.

[B]

For. For us.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You got us gifts?

[A]

That can't be.

[B]

I never thought that would happen.

[C]

Oh, yeah, I got some. Got some top tier gear on the way.

[A]

You on your way out or something? Or you trying to unload all your worldly items before you leave this mortal coil?

[C]

No, I mean, I. Roan brought this joint in that he wanted, or I got.

[A]

Oh, I brought it in that I wanted. He's trying to give me this joint and, like, set me up. He's. He's basically planting drugs on me to try to demonetize our YouTube. I don't know what, like, your game.

[C]

I don't want this. Poison that away from.

[A]

He rolled this. He got here early, and he was just rolling joints around.

[B]

He's very good at that. It is cool. It is.

[A]

It's very cool.

[B]

And I. I actually used to hang out with Harry before he got into pot, and he would roll me joints.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And I was like, dude, how do you know how to do this? And he's like, yeah, I never really smoked, but I. I liked rolling him, and he was so good at it. And it's just another example of Harry's incredible sort of tactile skill.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Dexterity. Dexterity. You're very dexterous.

[C]

Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate that.

[B]

And you know me, I'm a huge fan of yours.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, of course.

[A]

And he's. And he'll say this behind your back, too.

[B]

Truly. Yeah. I start with frustrations, but I always end with praise.

[C]

Of course.

[A]

What's frustrations? From wanting the most for him.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. And to that end, what did we. What did we just have? There was something I wanted to bring

[A]

up on the Wonderlic test.

[B]

Yeah. Do you want to talk. Can we talk about that now?

[A]

Yeah, sure, sure, sure.

[C]

Why not?

[B]

Can we tell the truth of it?

[C]

Yeah, I mean, we should. It's got people in the office, like, furious that.

[B]

What?

[C]

Well, I mean, I didn't get any of the. I cheated the entire thing.

[B]

Yeah. Right. So, you know, I mean, good bit, guys. Wow. Really landed the.

[C]

And it's the same. The people that are mad about it. They're all the people that are, like, the top five.

[B]

Yeah. I wasn't mad about it.

[C]

No, it's. I. Yeah.

[B]

In my defense, when you told me he had scored better, I almost wish we could pull up the tape on that and watch my reaction at the time when I was under the impression you had beaten me.

[A]

He's a good, natural student, and I could prove that because. Did the Wonderlic video come out? It just came out last night. Right. You know, you two. You two are the two top scorers.

[B]

Did he beat me?

[C]

Did Francis beat me?

[A]

It was 35 to 34.

[C]

Damn.

[B]

Who?

[A]

I can't say.

[B]

Why can't you say? That means Harry won. Has it come out?

[A]

I mean, when this episode is out. Yeah, yeah. He had 35, dude.

[B]

That's phenomenal. And, by the way, fucking awesome. I'm stoked.

[A]

Doesn't that kind of, like, show his.

[B]

I know. Potential. I mean, dude, this is a guy who, if I was like. Like, it just randomly, I'd be like, man, I don't know what's going on with the wiring behind my socket. He'd be like, well, let me get in there.

[C]

No, no, no.

[B]

He has, like, electrician acumen, electrician knowledge

[A]

and his plumber's crack.

[B]

That's amazing, Harry. And this is my point, is that

[C]

you runs completely this camp. That's not right.

[A]

It is.

[B]

I fully believe it. I fully believe it.

[A]

Yeah. You won 3534.

[B]

That's amazing. Dude. I had a hard time with that. I had a really hard time with having to talk out loud.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah, me too.

[B]

Rome was making me read the questions out loud and I was like, I can't do this.

[C]

No, no. I couldn't either. I couldn't do any of it.

[B]

But you, you were the best in the whole company. You beat me. You beat me. Fundamentally. Fair and square.

[C]

I can't. I can't take. I can't take this.

[B]

Why not?

[C]

There was.

[B]

Was there something. There was.

[C]

There was some funny business.

[B]

Oh.

[C]

But not all the. Not all the way.

[B]

Well, what do you mean? What does that mean?

[C]

We gotta wait. We gotta wait. Wait for Ron. Wait for him to discuss.

[B]

I feel like my world was caving in. So he was just saying that there was some funny business going on there.

[A]

Cut this.

[B]

Well, I'm not gonna let him have the win if there was funny business. Just save it for a fucking minute.

[A]

Just save it for a week and we can have it then.

[B]

Can I get a fucking fugazi video? All right. We can cut it. Cut it all. I'm sorry. I didn't know any of that. I didn't know. We couldn't talk about it. I didn't know.

[A]

I don't. I don't actually. I mean, what do you think's better for the video, Tyler?

[C]

I think it's probably better if we cut it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And let's just talk about it in a couple weeks.

[B]

That's fine. That's fine. What ha. What happened?

[A]

I gave him the answers.

[C]

I fully cheated. Yeah.

[B]

Some of it was so obvious.

[A]

You're just like, yeah, he's actually a terrible cheater.

[C]

Yeah, he. He had me cheat and I couldn't. I was like. I don't know. Like, I. I. He was like, right. I wrote down every answer. I think I got a lot wrong still.

[A]

You got a 35 out of. Out of 50. You got 15 wrong.

[C]

But I filled out all of them.

[A]

You got 70 when you had every. When you had 100 of the answers.

[C]

Yeah. It was like I was. It was like I was allowed to cheat, but I was, like, sweating when I was doing it.

[B]

Oh, that's really funny.

[C]

It was like you were, like, pumped, but I could see it in your. In your.

[B]

I was shocked. I was shocked.

[C]

You were like, that's great.

[B]

Well, I was. I think I was surprised. But then I tried to qualify it with what I know about you, which is that you have a lot of these sort of hidden talents, like skills, and that you're very sharp, and I immediately got behind you on it. Right? Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I think it'd be funny, but your

[C]

brain was in a pretzel.

[B]

I was pretzel.

[A]

But you were a gentleman about it.

[B]

Yeah, but I was sore. Loose. No, I think if you contrast that with the tape of what Harry did when I beat him in Halo.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You'll see what. What really is, I think the key difference in our friendship, which is that I root for him and he fundamentally wants to step on my throat.

[C]

I mean, Francis, we all had a list of requests. I got zero of mine, and you got all of yours.

[B]

You're a video. I haven't played this game in Francis.

[A]

I haven't played the game.

[B]

You've been playing it all week. You just said you're dead.

[C]

Peace.

[B]

Oh, it's one sided. This is a blowout. You can honestly, at some point, like, if you. If you want to just, like, surrender, like, mercy, quit. Wow. I'm done killing spur. Oh, my God.

[C]

I'm not doing these things anymore.

[B]

For real.

[C]

I'm not doing it. If we're gonna do them and they're gonna be opted towards Francis, I'm not doing it.

[A]

All right, let's opt. Let's change it. Let's get it on a monitor. Let's get it on a monitor.

[C]

Like we're playing his game.

[B]

Yeah. I haven't played it in 17 years.

[C]

I've never played the game.

[A]

You've been set up.

[B]

Cod.

[A]

Setup. Cod. No, set up car.

[C]

I'm not gonna play caught on this thing either. Why was it so hard to get a monitor? It's so easy. Well, I mean, you never want to be worse at Halo than anyone else,

[B]

and also, I think, worse at test taking. I was a tutor for seven years. That was my job.

[C]

You came to first.

[B]

Yes, but in the moment, when my

[C]

reality can beat you, by the way, which

[B]

is shot.

[A]

No, he said, do you know how smart I Am. And we were like, yes, that's the problem. We know exactly how smart you are.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

But, yeah, the top three were not happy. What.

[B]

Where did you get that test, by the way?

[A]

The Internet.

[B]

There's. There's two Wonderlic samples. One's apparently much harder than the other, so I'd be interested.

[A]

This might be the harder one.

[B]

I would imagine it was.

[A]

This one was pretty hard.

[B]

There's my friend. Because my buddy took it after he watched the video, and he had understood that, like, having to talk out loud through it, I mean, slows you down. I don't. I was shocked at how little. How few questions I actually managed to answer or even see.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, I think the fact. This has to have been a hard version because on the real one, I think Jameis Winston scored the same as kb.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I've heard Jameis Winston put sentences together.

[C]

Is he not. Is he dumb?

[A]

It doesn't sing test taking intelligence to me. Did you do.

[B]

Did you get it from Beat the Wonderlic or Boost?

[A]

I have no idea.

[B]

My suspicion would be that it's right over.

[A]

It's right in front of.

[B]

It's got to be Beat the Wonderlic.

[A]

Does it say it at the top? Maybe

[C]

jobtestprep.com

[B]

no. Maybe it's a third one. Well, either way, I mean, this was hard, dude.

[C]

Yeah, I was.

[A]

So the game's easy.

[C]

We did it. So we can give some. I can give some insight. But pretty much the way that it went down was Roan said, you should cheat on this. It's going to be funny to beat France to beat Francis.

[B]

No.

[A]

And it was nothing to do with. Because we. How could we know that you were going to have. We could guess. You'd have the best score.

[B]

You could have known. Come on. What are we talking.

[C]

We did assume it was.

[B]

You knew I was going to have the best score.

[C]

Who are on the top three?

[B]

Footing around. What.

[C]

What the.

[B]

Are we talking about here?

[A]

But you were close.

[C]

There were others that were close to you buying at your heels.

[B]

Who was the next closest? I think Una had 31.

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

Yeah. And. And Hannah Montoya was after that. And then KB. But KB didn't guess throughout the. After the 28th question.

[B]

But if you talk about that right. You're saying third. I had 34, she had 31. So a differential of three. And then, I mean, KB was 27. 28.

[A]

27 out of 28 is what he did.

[B]

Yeah, he was 27. So then he was eight off pace. 24. So it's the same differential between Nikki Smokes and KB. So a differential of three on that test is gigantic.

[C]

Nicky Smokes must be a good test taker. Well, I think that's only 10 away from you.

[B]

Smokes uses ChatGPT to do his job. What are we talking about here?

[C]

Claude. He uses. He uses Claude.

[B]

He is the systematic deconstruction of Barstool Sports, a company built on the charming familiarity of language.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Of the. Of the utter lack of punctuation and just writing in pure vernacular so as to familiarize people to our personalities. He said, no, no, no, no. Let me sterilize my writing completely of any charm.

[C]

Rowan's trying to get on that too. Ron told me that he's buying seven Mac Minis.

[A]

I'm trying to get open. I'm trying to download open claws.

[B]

I don't know what that is.

[C]

It's this, like, new AI.

[A]

It's the AI that's like a personal assistant. Like, if you need a restaurant reservation, it's insatiable. So it's not just going to go to open table. It will call the restaurant with, like, a charming British guy's voice and, like, get you the. The reservation. So I'm not trying to get on that. My point being, Francis, that I did think that you would have the best score. I could not have imagined that it would be within one point of each other with only you two at the top. Case in point, I gave Sass all of the answers. 50 answers, and he still got a 35. When he had every single answer in front of him, he still got 15 of them wrong. Which, if my test taking is correct, that's 30% of the questions wrong.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I'll be honest. It was not. They. They told me to cheat. They wanted me to cheat. And it was still, like, very nerve wracking. My hands were, like, sweating.

[B]

I think. I think if he'd beaten me by like 13 questions, I would have smelled right.

[A]

That's why it couldn't have gone more perfectly. Like the fact that you did get to the top, because we don't know, but you should get to the top. And the fact that he was dumb enough as a cheater that he still got 15 wrong when he could have got a 50 out of 50.

[C]

Also, keep in mind, it's not easy to keep track of where you are on a 50 question.

[A]

You had the answer, but I had

[C]

just had 50 letters down. So I would be like, oh, shit.

[A]

But that was your choice of that. That's how you cheated.

[C]

I'm on 36 and I'd have to be like 1, 2, 3, 5, 6. Like figure out where she's at.

[A]

You're like in your lap.

[B]

I would.

[C]

Told me not to.

[B]

Either way. I would very happily one on one against Tommy Smokes. Set it up for. With. With. With. No. No talking. I don't want to do that.

[A]

What if it was. What if it was 15 extra minutes or 3 minutes?

[B]

I don't talk. It's not how they do it. I mean, I understand the entertainment element, but like I would happily go back through the questions afterwards.

[A]

But let's do that then.

[B]

If you want to do a true test taking thing, I will do a wonder like against Tommy. No speaking. Head to head. Call it a thousand bucks. What if you doesn't want to bet money? Fine, whatever.

[A]

What if maybe we could get a sponsor or something like that?

[B]

Sure.

[C]

What if you do what I was gonna say? Like, what if you guys see who could cheat better? So like the way that Roan described. Rowan gave it to me. He was like. He like flashed the answers and he was like, just remember these.

[A]

No, I didn't. I let you sit with them because you typed them all out.

[C]

15 letters.

[A]

You typed them all out.

[C]

Supposed to remember that you type them.

[A]

You still have the note in your

[C]

B, A, B, A, F, G, L. We should do a competition to see

[B]

who can cheat the best cow ate dogs by.

[C]

I actually think that could be fun.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Who can cheat the best?

[B]

Do you remember in Surviving Barstool who was the best at memory was Rico.

[C]

I thought it was Will Compton one

[B]

year, I think, but then I think the next. The next year was. Rico was really good at it. That's hard, man.

[C]

Yeah, it's not easy.

[B]

You have to either come. You have to come up with a mnemonic very quickly.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And that's what everybody was doing. And no one could do it.

[B]

No one can do it. It's really tough.

[C]

But once it gets past like eight things.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Did you guys ever used to play the game the. The one where it was just like the. The big sphere and it just had like three or four lights and you'd.

[B]

I had a very similar one. I had it. It was a square for me, but it was four different kind of colors. Sounds.

[C]

That shit's fun.

[B]

That was fun. That was a good. That was a good test. To go see it forever and concussed.

[C]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I was pretty good at that.

[A]

So you want to shoot when you want to shoot it? Monday, Friday.

[B]

Monday.

[A]

Monday. After A nice restive weekend.

[B]

I love. Ron is like the thirstiest guy for content. I love it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

This is what you need.

[A]

I'm about getting stuff on the schedule. We had a fish week meeting yesterday.

[B]

Yeah, we did. We're going to do it. God damn it.

[C]

Yeah. Fish week's gonna happen. We don't know where. I guess we're leaning towards Florida, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Florida.

[B]

Thinking Florida.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

They said it. They. Can we say what city or should we save that?

[B]

Well, let's just confirm 100 that we're going to be able to do that.

[A]

Good call. But. But Sean had a good idea about a local guest that we could get.

[B]

Oh, fun.

[A]

If it is in that city.

[B]

Yeah, good idea.

[A]

And you could think of. You could probably guess who.

[C]

Epstein.

[A]

We're going to West Palm. We want Ghislaine Maxwell. Did you boys watch the State of the Union last?

[C]

Of course.

[B]

No. Of course.

[A]

Gracious. What were you up to?

[B]

I don't know, man. I watched Weed Departed. Yeah. Which was amazing. Yeah.

[C]

Definitely better than the State of the Union.

[A]

Probably the same length.

[B]

I turned on one second of it and there were these women screaming over him and I couldn't believe it.

[C]

It must have been the beginning.

[B]

I turned it off.

[C]

Should started out high, started off hot.

[A]

Or the end.

[C]

Or actually the shirt out.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

It's crazy.

[B]

I was surprised that was allowed. How would he. I wasn't. How was he responding to that?

[C]

Not responding.

[B]

He's just talking over it.

[C]

Yeah, pretty much.

[A]

You just raise his voice even louder and be like, these are crazy people. These people are fucking crazy.

[B]

So I have to say, in our last episode, you made a phenomenal joke about the Trump not, you know, inviting the women.

[C]

Oh, yeah, Yeah.

[B]

I hadn't seen any of that.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Because I deleted Twitter.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And I now fear that without Twitter, I will be so lost on these amazing references and jokes that you two are making that I have to come back into it.

[C]

It is a little bit like. It's a little bit of a weird. Like, I feel like I don't know where I would get my news without Twitter.

[B]

I had not thought that. That I didn't know that Kelly Keegs was having to a Jack Mac a fight here. I didn't know about any of that stuff.

[A]

Was it good for your mental health to not know?

[C]

Definitely.

[B]

I think it's better for my mental. The only. The reason I deleted Twitter was more because whenever I would post something on there, there'd be 50 people being like, this is why everyone hates you.

[A]

So it was bad for your mental health.

[B]

And you're like, oh, Jesus, dude, I wrote like, go, usa, you know, or whatever. And so I just was like, all right, I'm done. I don't need this anymore.

[C]

And now.

[B]

But then you. You see this kind of stuff and you feel. I. I was. I looked like an idiot not laughing at your great joke.

[C]

Oh, no, all good. No sweat.

[B]

And I couldn't riff. I couldn't riff on top of it.

[C]

I mean, it was the day after. It was. It was quick, quick turnover on my joke.

[B]

I gotta be on top.

[C]

I expect everyone to get it.

[B]

I should get it.

[A]

Maybe we could print out the algorithms and kind of just like give them to you in a file in the morning.

[B]

Yeah, maybe, Sean, you could give me a little pre episode. Like, these are the five things they'll probably make jokes about.

[C]

He was debriefing.

[A]

Yeah, with like, kind of. If you get access to both me and Harry's algorithms and you could just kind of go through and just be like, okay, what's trying? Actually, you could probably use my open claw for this. Open claw would probably let you know exactly what we're using.

[B]

Yeah. Knowing Harry, as I did, it's probably going to be Israel, then Epstein, it's your algorithm's fault, then diarrhea. Yeah.

[C]

And then it really is like, I feel like Twitter just reports on, like, the micro stories that you might not get in the news. Like, that's where, like, you probably, like, the New York Times isn't going to write an article about Cash Patel drinking beers in the locker room.

[B]

I haven't. I haven't been reading the New York Times either.

[C]

You don't read the Times?

[B]

I've completely checked out. Dude.

[A]

What about the Daily? You don't listen to the Daily?

[B]

No.

[C]

Tell me you're listening to the Daily.

[A]

At least you're not listening to Michael Barbara. Yeah.

[C]

The Journal, npr.

[B]

Nope.

[C]

You're out of touch.

[B]

Sometimes people get mad at me, too, for being so select, so. So intentionally aloof. It's like, why do you really need another person to fucking have an opinion? Do you really need one more?

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

No, you don't need me. You got enough.

[A]

I'll tell you who. What you did, miss, though, is Ilhan Omar was serving Face. Oh, you know Ilhan Omar?

[B]

I do know of her. Yeah.

[A]

They're saying that she must have had some kind of face filter on.

[B]

She's the wife of one of the hijackers, right? Is that what it was?

[A]

So you are keeping up with the news?

[B]

They had her in the. In the place to be.

[C]

Like, I don't even know who it is. Roan just keeps on saying that she's serving. That she was serving face last night.

[A]

Omar's beat that. She had almost amazing halal face.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

She was serving. Oh, my God. Who is she? She's congresswoman. Yeah.

[B]

See, Francis knows, and she's part of the. It's her and Alexandra Ocasio Cortez as the face servers. Who are this sort of really kind of.

[A]

What are you gonna say next?

[B]

Hard left.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I thought progressive, almost socialite kind of. Not socialite. Excuse me.

[A]

Socialists. Socialist socialites, though. That would be kind of good branding for them.

[B]

I wonder. At its core, socialism and being a socialite almost don't go.

[C]

Don't go hand in hand.

[B]

Because social. Being a socialite's all about getting into, like, exclusive places.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Knowing people in the know and being part of the elite. Right.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And then socialists. Everybody plays, everybody wins.

[C]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

In fact, the. The. The progressive private school that I went to from first to eighth grade. Wayne Fleet. Right. I remember very distinctly that Ariel eta tried to play lacrosse on our team, and there were no tryouts.

[C]

Yeah. And everyone makes it.

[B]

I said, this kid's in for a rough day.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Because he does not belong on the field.

[A]

Ariel's a guy.

[B]

Yeah. Ariel. Eto.

[C]

Ariel.

[B]

Yeah. Well, he went. He went R. Hard R. Yeah. Yeah. And he. After one day, he went into the sort of assistant principal's office and was like, I didn't. This wasn't what I thought it was going to be. And then the assistant principal came and talked to our coach, who just so happened to be my dad. Oh. And was like, I just want to make sure you guys are ensuring that this is a place of inclusivity. My dad was like, yes, of course. Understood.

[C]

It wasn't.

[B]

I was willing to do the dirty work. I was willing to let the Ariel Utahs know.

[C]

Yeah. So your dad sent you after him? No, he. My dad didn't do this guy on my team.

[B]

My dad knew that, you know, if we. In the absence of true tryouts, because we couldn't have those, this truly was like a fucking. Don't hurt anyone's feelings.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It was like a woke school before that was even a thing. You know, in the absence of any kind of, like, athletic selection process, I was gonna have to fucking kill him. Lay down the unwritten rules. Yeah. Which are. Oh, you think this is. This is gonna be like finger painting class. Oh, you think you're gonna have fun out here.

[C]

So you're destroy him.

[B]

I'm gonna run through you.

[C]

Did you.

[B]

I don't remember.

[A]

You definitely did.

[B]

Yeah, I don't. I wouldn't have done that.

[C]

I wouldn't.

[B]

He was tiny. I wouldn't have run through him. But I. I think I was definitely like huddling people up and being like, guys, we're gonna go 8 and 1 this year at worst. Like this is the deal.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Get your together.

[C]

That's what my dad told us to do.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Brass knuckles in the gloves.

[B]

No, my dad. My dad actually had to tell me to like. Hey, reel it in a little.

[C]

Are you racist?

[B]

Well, we had me and we had Michael Antonio and then, you know, thank God Reuben Fisherbaum decided to play goalie because without him we would have been in big trouble. But we've been so good the year before because again, TC Half and refer was just a man child. And it was seventh and eighth combined. We couldn't field a seventh grade and an eighth grade team. So we had one team. But God damn, dude, we beat Yarmouth.

[C]

Really?

[B]

We beat Yarmouth. Zach Caldwell, Luke. I mean there were so many good players.

[A]

Reuben Fisherbaum got the presidential medal of freedom last night. I heard.

[B]

I actually wouldn't be surprised. He went to Yale.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And is brilliant.

[C]

Is he the one that rescued all the people?

[A]

Yeah. Reuben Fisherbaum. Yeah, he was the goalie that rescued all the people.

[B]

Really smart kid. I loved Reuben. I was a big fan of Reuben's.

[A]

So are all these brothers are Jewish? Except was the first guy Ariel?

[B]

Oh, he was. I mean he was Israeli.

[A]

Yeah. Okay, so he was fully Jewish.

[B]

But he was cool. I liked him. Really good at drawing.

[A]

Of course he was cool. Why wouldn't he be cool?

[B]

I don't know. I don't know the answer to that. Yeah.

[A]

That is awesome. Oh man. I would have wondered or I would have just loved to see sass on your squad. Just like how you would have welcomed him in. Like would he be part of the huddle? Would he be getting his face ran through?

[C]

I think I would be the outside of the huddle.

[B]

No, Harry would have had a place because he's. He's better than he lets on.

[C]

I was so bad at lacrosse. I wasn't even. It wasn't okay.

[A]

And you get a 35 on the Wonderlic.

[B]

Yeah. And then you.

[C]

Exactly.

[B]

You know.

[C]

No, I was really bad at lacrosse. I only played for like two years.

[B]

It's just a fly fishing cast.

[C]

No, not quite.

[A]

It really is. Wow.

[C]

I don't have a big. I Don't have a big tolerance for pain. So like when I would get slashed like in the. In the. In my. My arms, I would just be like, yeah, this sucks. This isn't fun.

[B]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure I was 6:1 in seventh grade.

[C]

Yeah, that'll do it. I think.

[B]

I think I was 6:1 in seventh grade, but I was like 170 pounds.

[C]

But I was still like 5:3.

[B]

I could just run over people.

[A]

That's probably so fun.

[B]

Scarborough. Are you kidding?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Out of here, Scarborough.

[C]

Get the out of here.

[B]

Portland. Nya Nya was a little bit of a problem.

[C]

Where is Yarmouth?

[B]

It's 15 minutes north of Portland on the coast.

[C]

But only arm mass too.

[B]

Yeah, that was probably the first mass. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. They didn't have many town names at that time. No, they're like York and New York.

[C]

It was like 15 Plymouths.

[A]

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[C]

B O I D A D. What was that? B O Y D A D. Boydad.

[A]

I thought you said I.

[C]

No. B O Y.

[B]

No, it's not spelled like big boy from Outkast.

[A]

It's B O Y. Like boy. Similar to boy Boydad.

[C]

Yeah, actually the exact same spelling.

[A]

Okay, terms apply again. Create an account. You redeem code boydad for $20 off. Download the game Time app app today.

[C]

Alrighty. Let's talk about Rocket Money. Have you ever had a moment when you realize you needed help getting your finances under control? Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money tracks tracks subscriptions and has the ability to cancel. Within the app With a few taps, saving time and avoiding charges, you can set your budgets and goals. Get Personalized insights and regular reports and receive real time alerts for large transactions, upcoming bills, refunds, and low balances. The app consolidates checking, savings, loans and investments into a single dashboard to give users a clear view of their financial picture. Rocket Money Automated savings grow toward goals with adjustable amounts and frequency. Set it and forget it approach. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. [e-mail] boys that's Rocket Money.com boy Rocket Money.com boy One more time. That's RocketMoney.com boy so one thing I

[B]

wanted to bring up to you guys today, and I want to just pose this to you, is that I've reached this point in my life where I have fundamentally realized that just because someone is older than me does not mean that they deserve respect.

[A]

Did you have to disrespect someone personally? I hope you didn't have to run.

[C]

Disrespect an elder.

[B]

I, I, I've, I'm in a little bit of a feud with someone right now. A man.

[C]

An elder.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Is that your father?

[B]

He's a father. Yeah.

[C]

It's not your father though.

[B]

No, no, my dad, I respect the hell out. Of course, you might have to reconsider

[A]

that just because he's older than you.

[B]

My dad.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No, I respect my dad. I love Harry's dad. I love your dad. My God. Physicist. Jesus Christ. Yeah. We are a podcast of a plus fathers.

[C]

Definitely.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

I think if you put our dads together, they could start a podcast that would quickly leap ours.

[A]

Yeah, they would have an interesting, like, I think your dad would kind of run the point.

[B]

I wonder.

[A]

Kind of my guess, he might.

[B]

Middle.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, I think middle. But like he'd be the connective glue.

[B]

He might be. I could see your dad's being kind of like sharpshooters. Like they're going to pick their.

[A]

Yeah. He's going to sit back and that's why he's got. Your dad's going to need to fill the space.

[B]

Yeah. My dad would be like, you know, Mr. Settle. He'd probably call him that to start.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And then your dad be like, call me Bob.

[C]

Yeah, Bob. Yeah.

[B]

It can't be.

[C]

No, that is, Yeah, I guess Robert or Dick.

[B]

Dick Winters.

[A]

Dick Settle.

[B]

My dad would be like, hey, Harry Senior. You know, growing up in, in, in Massachusetts slash Wisconsin, you know, you probably thought that when the weather got cold it was time for ice fishing. And then your dad would tell a little bit about that. And then my dad would turn to Mr. Ferrone and Frank. Doc. Dr. Ferron, actually, like. Hey, Doc, can you tell us a little bit about, like, the physics of the ice?

[C]

Yeah. Talk about ice fishing a little bit, but yes, break that down for us.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, he's. He's in the church choir too, so he could really, really go off on that too.

[B]

Heck, damn.

[A]

Your. Your dad. Your dad probably could sing some. Yeah, maybe my dad. Your dad harmonized a little bit.

[B]

Yeah, he did some Gilbert and Sullivan.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Pirates of Penzance.

[B]

I am the very model of a modern major general.

[C]

I don't know that.

[A]

Oh, you love it, bro. That guy was spit. The modern major general was spitting bars. Who. So who are you in a feud with?

[B]

This guy.

[C]

Tell us about this feud.

[B]

Not gon him. Doesn't deserve it.

[C]

Is he neighbor.

[B]

He's just some. I'm not gonna get to it.

[C]

Well, you're. You're running into him.

[B]

No, I'm. I'm tattooing him on personal messaging. I'm messaging Facebook Marketplace. No, no, no, no. This is someone I know. He's probably 55, maybe. Yeah. 55 how?

[C]

Wait, so what is your real.

[A]

You Gas?

[C]

Yeah. Is it gas? Is it someone we work with?

[B]

No, no, no. And I'm not. I don't even care to protect his identity, but there's just no way we would get there if I.

[C]

How are you guys in contact?

[B]

He's saying he can't say we belong to a similar club type thing.

[C]

Got it. Got it.

[B]

And he has committed offenses and done things that have sort of made a number of people unhappy. Me. And then I learned recently that he had also done something personally injurious to me.

[C]

Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Like what? You don't.

[B]

He spread rumors that were. That were completely spurious law.

[C]

Lies.

[B]

Yeah, Complete lies. Yeah. When I saw. When I saw proof of this.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I finally went directly to him.

[C]

Yeah. Then what'd you say? I'm gonna break.

[B]

I mean, I. I almost feel like I could read it. Because you should. It's so scathing.

[A]

But did. And he came back at you like, if he knows that he's. Is it spurious or scurrilous rumors?

[B]

Great question. I think both might work. Scurrilous. Spurious works too. Yeah.

[C]

What did you say?

[B]

What do we got there?

[A]

Sean, I need somebody on spurious and Scurrilous. Spurious means false, fake or not genuine. Scurrilous means coarsely abusive, vulgar, or intended to slander. Okay, so they're both.

[B]

They work, but they aren't.

[A]

They aren't the same Spurious and scurrilous rumors about it.

[B]

Furious and scurrilous. Yeah. Well, anyway, so I'll just say that what I said was I. I basically saw the thing he had written, one of the things he'd written about me that. To someone else. Because that person then sent it to me there these. I. He has no idea. Yeah. The army that has amassed the loyalty that you have. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. Soldiers.

[B]

He doesn't get it. He doesn't see the force that has.

[C]

Have you.

[B]

Did you tell Marshalled behind.

[A]

Well, he'll know. He'll know that he. I said this guy a. And guy A immediately told him dry.

[C]

Snitched.

[B]

Yeah. So basically what. What he sent was. Was him thinking that I felt a certain way about him. And he was like to this other guy. And then that guy sent it to me. So he named me and was like. And I go. I said his name. And I go, I've got. This is me messaging him directly. I go, I've got bad news, man. Every single person feels this way about you. Damn. You were absolutely despised in our group. There are literal group chats, which I didn't start, that are solely used to vent frustrations about you.

[A]

Damn.

[B]

I actually tried to turn the tide and say you weren't so bad after this thing when I had a nice time with you. And then I learned from multiple people that you were spreading this rumor. And that's when I knew that you are truly as bad of a person as everyone says you are.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

And he goes, I haven't said a word about you, dude. Dude. Which is nuts.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Because. And I go. I go, he's older than you. Yeah. He's like 55.

[A]

I was calling you.

[B]

I don't believe a word you say, you clown. Get the out of here. And then he said something like, well, what about when you said this and this thing, like. And didn't apologize for that. It was something. I made a joke.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And it was truly nothing.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And he. And I go, apologize. You. And I said his name. And I go, I don't think there's a path to redemption for you. I think you burned too many bridges. If you just admitted to me what you said. And. And maybe I'd consider mending fences, but I'd say we should sit down and talk about this like men. But I just know you'll continue to lie. And you have no faith. I have no faith in your integrity whatsoever. You have no honor. Anyway, it kind of went on like that. And it's like, I Don't. I mean, again, I don't love confrontation, kicking, conflict.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

But it is my way of dealing with conflict is that I will destroy them. I will just, I'll. No, I'm not gonna go the, the scenic route. I'm not gonna go the roundabout way. I will go right up to the source and I'll say, these are my problems with you.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

If you want to try to work through this, potentially we could. But he continued to lie. Yeah. And so when someone continues to lie, I realize this is a child.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

That is what a child does.

[C]

Yeah. I mean, replying and saying, dude, I didn't say anything about you is saying.

[B]

It's like when, when after.

[C]

It's like someone who obviously saw that they said something about you.

[B]

Correct. Yeah. Like we grew up as a kid. You believed like I, I lying. I can get out of stuff.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Because sometimes it worked.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And you didn' were too young and dumb to realize that people probably had proof that you.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Li, you know, older people knew like what you'd actually done and eventually you get caught enough times that you're like, okay, lying is not the solution. Most people. But for a 55 year old man to be a child.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And think that lying is the way through. That's where I'm like, oh, age does not mean wisdom or maturity.

[C]

No. No.

[B]

Some people miss the bus.

[A]

Some people think that they are grown up and then they have to stop improving at any aspect of their life. They're not like, I need to become a more honest person. Like, they're like, oh, I'm old enough to drink and like I have a job. They're not like, I need to examine these specific parts of my personality.

[B]

Right.

[A]

It's, it's nasty. But also you have an appetite for the, for the destruction.

[B]

I look like, how long did that

[C]

go on that one v one.

[B]

I pretty much read most, 90% of it.

[C]

But like, how, like, how long did the confrontation last?

[B]

Like, oh, one, one hour at most.

[C]

Does he have like military experience?

[B]

God, no.

[C]

55. You gotta ask, you know, you never know.

[A]

Yeah. It could have been the. I know. That's, I don't know. Desert Storm. He could have fought in Desert Storm.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

The Cold War.

[A]

He might have been a Cold war soldier. It. How did it make you feel?

[B]

I don't know exactly. I mean this is this silly dance of. Has been going on for a while and like this guy's continued to commit, you know, fouls.

[C]

Yeah. Like for a long time.

[B]

And like everyone just talks about it and everyone's annoyed by it and frustrated by it. And as I meant what I said, like there are literal group chats of people that I've been like added to for people to complain about this guy. And finally it's like, guys, we're not. This problem isn't being solved this way.

[C]

Gotta handle it.

[B]

You know, we're, we're just like ostracizing someone and then smiling to their face. I think that's bullshit. And you want to properly ostracized or. Yeah, but like again with either, with either the road to reconciliation. I, that he made may not have known it but like that what I did is I, I said like if you want to sit down and talk about this like man, we can, we could potentially do that. But you continue to lie. Like you need to admit and it's onside your fault.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

First, does he have any whales in his pot of whales or is he just alone?

[C]

Does he have any killers?

[B]

I don't think he's got anybody. And maybe that sounds like I'm punching down then, but

[C]

I don't know, I mean it's tough. I, I always feel bad when I got to put a down like that. Yeah, yeah, put him in the dirt.

[A]

No sass chat. GPT. How do you put a down?

[B]

You know? Look, I've been in three full blown fist fights in my life and were

[C]

they like, were they all random fist fights though? Like, were there actual like.

[A]

No, it was Ariel on the first day of lacrosse.

[C]

Yeah. And then the lobster men. But the lobster man wasn't like you didn't actually like hate those guys just outside.

[B]

No, they. They broke someone, someone's face in front of me.

[C]

Sometimes shit's going to pop off and you'll have to put a motherfucker in the dirt.

[B]

Well, I got put in the dirt by those guys. Those guys, but the other two into a play toy. A chew toy. I was like a toy where you're like, oh no, we have to throw that away now. Yeah, stuffing's coming out face. You separated the arm from the body. Come on, we just bought that.

[C]

The dogs got a hold of it.

[B]

Yeah. Anyway, no, but my point is that those fist fighting is like so bad, it's so extreme that anything short of that is not that scary.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

It's really not. And I never want in my life, I never want anything to ask. At this point, I don't think I'll ever be in a fist fight again unless it's fully for self defense or if I like Witnessed someone beating up a woman.

[A]

Yeah. If you like.

[B]

Or something.

[A]

I think if once you have, like, kids, if you, like, catch, like, the ref making bad calls or something like that. Umpire like, not calling balls and strikes even enough. I think you have one more in you.

[B]

No, I'm just Beat this out.

[C]

You gotta have. Gotta save one, keep one in the bag. Like, I got bad one good fight.

[B]

That's embarrassing. That's insane.

[C]

No, I don't think so. I think Ron's right, because, like, you got to be prepared. Like, you're. You're only.

[B]

You're.

[C]

I mean, you still got a long time left. Like, there's a good chance that 15 years down the road, you might have to put a. In the ground or if you killing

[B]

someone when you say that.

[A]

No.

[B]

Putting someone in the ground.

[C]

Yeah, I mean, you know, figuratively speaking,

[B]

I could see putting someone on the ground, but into the ground means, like, casket burial.

[C]

Yeah. I mean, yeah.

[B]

Say a prayer.

[A]

Airbrush T shirts.

[B]

And for me to be there after causing that is so dark.

[C]

Yeah, that's. That's. That. That might be a bad idea. Yeah. You got to be able to know, like, I got one more like grab someone by the shirt and throw them

[B]

up against the wall. That the only time you don't get in trouble for that is if, like, you have crazy shit on that person.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

It's like, I saw you touching my son. Saw you grabbing his cheeks.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What are you gonna say? What are you gonna say? That I'm doing this right now.

[A]

You know, but that's where you dream about having a good enough reason to be someone's.

[B]

I don't want someone to touch my son just so that I can beat them up.

[A]

A dream about that. I said, dad, I'm not gonna be

[B]

like, hey, son, you should. You should throw on some tighter pants, send them out like bait.

[C]

Dad wants to fight bait.

[B]

Yeah. We need you to start working out, son. I know they say it stunts the growth, but there's a guy out there. I don't know.

[C]

My growth is being stunted, and I gotta.

[B]

You don't know what you're gonna see now. Y.

[C]

Because I am itching.

[B]

But look, the point is, you know, that the. The broader point is that you get to that age. I mean, I'd honestly be very curious to hear, Harry, your point of view on this idea, which is that, like, you grow up thinking that basically whatever an adult says is. Is true or gospel and that they have the upper hand in. In whatever they say.

[C]

Yeah. I feel Like, I've realized that wasn't true when, I mean, I mean, just working at barstool when I was like 19.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I kind of had to like, snap out of that. Like, not everyone that's older than me is in charge of me.

[B]

Right.

[C]

Yeah, that's definitely what I thought when I started.

[A]

Yeah. That's key.

[C]

So you kind of just got to burst. I mean, I had to drop a couple of. On the way.

[A]

Yeah. Me. Wrong.

[B]

I love that for you, dude. I mean, my God, back when you were fully flexing that Twitter arm. I don't know that I'd ever want to get into that.

[A]

No. What's the age, though, where you could get into a confrontation with any man? Because I think it's like 27, 28. You think that it's 30s. I. I think 27 will be kind of young, where a guy could almost dismiss you being like, you're. If a 55 year old is getting into conflicts, like a social fist fighting,

[C]

as a 27 fist fighting a 55 year old, as a 27 year old, you're just like a. A punk.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

[C]

Yeah. You can't do that.

[B]

But I think a lot of it too is like, how are you living? How mature are you? Like, if you, if you're still like sports bars on the weekend and funneling beers and like puking.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And. And then you want to like get into a. An actual fight with an adult because you disagree. Like, that's, you know, you haven't earned that.

[A]

You have to own property, you're saying.

[B]

Yeah, you can't have roommates. If you're gonna fight older people, you

[A]

have to cook for yourself.

[B]

You can't, unfortunately, you gotta live alone.

[C]

I think like 30.

[B]

You can't even have a guarantee guarantor on your lease.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

If you have a guarantor on your lease, that is an adult, that means that you can't live without an adult. So you can't fight an adult.

[C]

Yeah. You don't want that.

[A]

Or like, if you're in this conversation with the other person, it's like, let me talk to your guarantor. Like, I can't talk to you about this.

[C]

Like, paying your rent.

[B]

You'd have your guarantor fight them for you.

[A]

Right. Or like, as the person, like, I'm not gonna fight you. You're 27 with the guarantor. Let me fight the guarantor.

[B]

Yeah. If this fight results in legal action against me, just know you're gonna want to take that up with Mike.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Because they have all the money, all the paperwork. I can't actually afford a lawyer myself. You're going to want to talk to my dad, who's got a great lawyer by the way. I wouldn't go there if I were you.

[A]

How petty are we going with this type of stuff? Is this like, this extends to road rage or does this extend to like in public someone's acting in a way that's not within the code or is this only personal man to man?

[B]

Good question.

[A]

I think it's, I think it's all of the above.

[C]

I mean I think if you're 34, you could fight a 55 year old. Right. And you could also fight like an 18 year old,

[A]

but you're sticking with fighting. I'm just talking about having the social back and forth.

[C]

Well, I think if you're, you can have the social back and forth at any age really. It's all about what kind of points you're making, what you're bringing to the table.

[B]

Table, Yeah, I agree with that.

[A]

But I don't think you're equipped at 23 to be arguing with a 55 year old.

[C]

Why?

[A]

I think you'll look like a goof.

[B]

Yeah, probably, you'll probably get dog walked.

[C]

But if it's a 55 year old that did something wrong, like this guy,

[A]

you, you just have to have ironclad morals as a 23 year old.

[C]

Let's have Claude, Claude handle it. Claude, handle this for me.

[B]

Am I right?

[C]

That's probably, there's probably so much many people doing that I wonder. Just screenshotting full back and forths and being like, who is in the right here?

[A]

I could see where you're coming from. And you made some really good points.

[C]

Yeah. Don't even be flustered. You're actually killing it.

[B]

Harry, what is too old of a person to fight?

[C]

60.

[B]

Anyone over 60. You can't.

[C]

Once you, once you pass 60, I think you kind of waive your right to, to fight people. People below 60, at least.

[B]

No, what I'm saying is that if, if a 61 year old wrongs you to the point where you should put hands on and put in ground. Is that person so old that you shouldn't touch them because it's unfair. You're hitting an elk like a. Yeah,

[C]

I mean, I think it depends on what they do. Like give me an example.

[B]

What do you mean what they do? Like if they're loading refrigerators at that age.

[A]

No, no, no.

[C]

I mean like what they did.

[A]

Did.

[B]

Oh, to me, you know, I Think

[A]

that the answer is like it's about 60, but then for the next 25 years you could pepper spray them. Like you could give them the sauce from 60 to 85 and then at 85 it's just like if they're coming towards you especially, you can give them the sauce.

[C]

You can't pepper spray it. That, that would kill them.

[A]

You can, dude.

[C]

No, no way.

[A]

If they try to impede on your first amendment rights, dude, you can pepper spray.

[B]

They're already blind at that age anyway.

[C]

I think I'd rather just give him like a gut, gut punch.

[A]

You're gut punching over pepper spraying?

[C]

Definitely. I think, yeah.

[B]

Punching, gut punching. An 85 year old kills them too. Yeah.

[A]

What?

[C]

But I think, dude, an 85 year old, if you pepper sprayed them, they would die on the spot.

[A]

Not if they're coming at you. They can handle pepper spray.

[B]

No, no, look, no one can. The answer is that. So that post 65 retirement age, you let the law handle it. Yeah, yeah, I think that's what you do.

[A]

But what if someone's coming at you?

[B]

If a 66 year old is coming at me, like, what if it's your

[C]

66 year old neighbor? Say you got, say you live next

[A]

door and they're coming at you, what

[C]

are you doing there? And they're every night it's a battle, they're banging on the door. Turn the music down. I'm not even listening. There's no music playing.

[B]

If he comes onto my property, it's on site.

[C]

I'm alright to defend.

[B]

Shoot him.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Stand, stand my ground.

[A]

So you're thinking Castle doctrine?

[B]

Yeah, I applied Texas law.

[C]

So once it gets to 65, you think just put them down.

[B]

Yeah, they've done, they've earned, they've asked, they've punched their ticket out. You want to come, you want to come onto my property?

[A]

You just went from you can't pepper spray them, so you can shoot them. I'm saying at least you humanely put them down with the pepper spray.

[B]

Well, and maybe I shoot them in the knee.

[A]

But you're unloading around.

[B]

But dude, if you shoot an 80 year old in the kneecap, that's it's over. They're dead.

[A]

Yeah, it's just like they're lame. You have to put them down after that.

[B]

That person needs to like amputate that leg and walk around with like a flamingo down there the rest of the way.

[A]

I think it's 65. 60 to 85, you give them the sauce and at 85 you can kind of just. And they're coming at you just like redirect them. Yeah, just like toss them to the.

[B]

Do you have sauce? You got some sauce?

[A]

I don't. I think it's illegal to even carry the sauce in New York.

[B]

Well, there's pepper spray and then there's mace.

[A]

Mace and then there's bear mace and

[B]

then there's bear mace. What's orca mace?

[C]

What's the one that you can, can you carry any of them in New York?

[B]

You cannot have orca mace.

[A]

Orca mace is to your mandatory minimum.

[C]

That's. That's the one that goes underwater.

[B]

Yeah, you can actually use it.

[C]

A sea attack,

[A]

some nasty ass orca maze.

[B]

You can actually use it to cut through fish net when a dolphin's face is stuck.

[A]

But God forbid it gets in the hands of the. Of the orcas.

[B]

Yeah, it has that adjustable like fine spray. Yeah.

[A]

The wide.

[C]

I think I would be pretty hesitant to pepper. Pepper spray someone. I think I would try to give them like a warning if they're coming.

[A]

No, you give them the warning and then if they keep on coming at you, they get the sauce.

[C]

Yeah. You unload.

[B]

Isn't it crazy?

[C]

I'll probably give them like three warnings.

[A]

I'll be like, no come any closer.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, you give them a warning shot. Shot.

[C]

Just a little.

[A]

Like a mist.

[C]

Yes, a little.

[A]

That's enough to take them out.

[C]

You think?

[B]

Yeah, I don't know.

[C]

I think you really got to empty it onto them.

[B]

I think pepper spray. Unless you're using it frequently, the first squirt comes out a little like. Yeah, you gotta get like. It's like windows shaking.

[C]

Yeah, you need to, you need to

[B]

give it a couple before the cylinder is cleared, you know, or it'll fire a blank.

[A]

I think that what president did they try to kill with pepper spray and it hit his speech or something like that. They tried to shoot him with pepper spray and it flashed for them a thick speech in his breast pocket and then just hit the speech.

[C]

Yeah. Damn. Did he pull it out though? And he was like, oh no, my speech is ruined.

[A]

So we had to go off the cuff.

[B]

Unfolded it and it was a snowflake.

[A]

Yeah,

[C]

we bought bear spray when we went to Wyoming a couple years ago. And I remember like we just carry it around all the time.

[B]

Time.

[C]

The whole time. I remember being like, if we see a bear, this isn't, this isn't going to do. They say to Sprite, you got to sprite from like 12ft away.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Just sitting there. 12 just.

[A]

Why again slowly it be like Braveheart as they're rushing. You're like hold, hold.

[C]

You know, it's one of those things, you know, it goes out like it's probably done in 10 seconds. Like you ever use like an air. Like one of those like compressed air dusters? Yeah, those things just don't work.

[B]

Or one of those face misters with water from Evian. Those are so nice.

[C]

I've never used.

[B]

But they go quick.

[C]

Yeah, you don't want to be misting a bear.

[A]

If a bear is attacking me, I'm just gonna hit myself with the face Mr. One time. And so I just leave a nice corpse.

[B]

I might actually take that bear mace and put in my mouth.

[A]

Just try and kill yourself there.

[B]

You win. I'm gonna season myself for you.

[A]

Honestly, it's probably great seasoning.

[B]

Yeah, I'm going to. I'm about to be a 70 on the Scoville.

[C]

They also. You can like, you can get it. You got to get it like the count at the counter at like REI or something. When you go and they ask you like if you what size bottle you want and it's like, I don't know, I guess you always go with the bigger one. But then you leave and they're like. You probably didn't have to go with the big one, by the way.

[A]

Well, it's like. Or how many bears are you going to be fending off exactly?

[C]

They got to give you some more intel there.

[B]

Well there's also what I'm assuming there's one that you can kind of fit on your utility belt and then one that needs to go in backpack and if a bear is coming, you want to unclip.

[C]

No, they're all like. There's one that's like really small and there's like the normal sized one.

[B]

Well that's probably black bear versus grizzly or.

[A]

Or polar.

[C]

You definitely don't want the small one.

[B]

Polar bear. Holy. Well, that's where you need. You need orca spray for.

[C]

Yeah, I don't think bear spray works on polar bears.

[A]

I think you would. They're. What are they, 16ft or something like that?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And polar bears.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Starving. I don't know if you guys know that they're all dying.

[C]

They're all hungry as they'll eat any.

[A]

Yeah, them chasing down a seal. Have you ever seen the videos of them chasing down and like trapping, cornering a seal. It's so vicious.

[B]

Well, I love. What I love about polar bears is that you can. The blood shows so Clearly.

[C]

Oh, on their white.

[B]

On their white coat, in the snow around.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

PETA attacked them.

[B]

It's a canvas, really, of violence.

[C]

It is. It does look very violent.

[A]

Yeah, But I bet seal is so delicious to polar bear because it's, like, so fatty. It's probably like bone marrow.

[C]

Probably like biting into a New York strip.

[A]

Yeah, it's probably so nice.

[C]

Delicious.

[A]

It's all buttery, fatty. They can barely move. They're just aliens.

[B]

Garlic.

[A]

Yeah, put it. Put the oil over the. Over the butter to raise a specific heat so it doesn't burn.

[C]

Oh, my God. No seed oils.

[A]

No seed oils on my seal oils.

[B]

Nice riffing, guys. Seal oil, really? We really brought that home. Do you know that in Shackleton's voyage,

[C]

when they were up there, just immediately. No, I don't know. They.

[B]

They were starving and they were stuck in the ice and they had to eat their boots.

[C]

That was back when they made boots with real leather.

[B]

Yeah. They ate the boots.

[C]

Yeah. Like, I mean, that's like. It's like jerky.

[B]

I think I could eat these boots.

[C]

I don't think so.

[B]

These are made from horse.

[A]

Those are.

[B]

But, dude, think of how chiseled my jaw would be after one boot.

[C]

One boot. You weren't even able to get through a lace.

[B]

I could eat this boot.

[A]

He definitely could.

[B]

I don't think I was that hungry.

[C]

I don't think they're making boots like that anymore. I don't think they have, like, nutritional value in them anymore.

[A]

Those have nutritional value for sure.

[B]

These are. These are made from, like, really organically fed horse.

[A]

It's. I bet I could ask my open claw right now. Ask claw how much. How many calories these boots have?

[C]

Yeah, Claw should know.

[B]

Yeah. I bet it's super lean protein.

[C]

I mean, the leanest.

[B]

But it's gonna take so much chewing.

[C]

I mean, you'd have to probably hold them over the fire for a little bit to really, like, release.

[B]

Yeah, maybe. I just came from the dentist and it kind of bothered me. They didn't let me close my mouth in between, like, polishing and.

[C]

Yeah, that's insane.

[B]

Crazy hook thing they do. So my jaw was killing me and I was like. I mean, it wouldn't be anything compared to. To feel after eating the boot.

[A]

Wait, why does it say about zero unless you're planning to saute them in butter and take a bite? Yeah, that's what I'm asking. Ass.

[B]

Bless you.

[A]

Bless you.

[B]

That was one of the. That was the first question I had. I had something else, but I can't remember exactly what it was.

[A]

I had a very fun, interesting conversation downstairs that's about to knock your guy socks off. Off.

[C]

Do tell, do tell.

[A]

If you're ready for it, I'm ready. I said that I enjoy museums that have art in them more than any other museum. Thoughts?

[C]

Seems pretty standard. What are the other kind of musicians?

[A]

I thought that was really going to be an explosive one. Talking about, like army of dissenters downstairs. There are like natural history museums and rocket roll museums. Give me the art museum every time. I hate natural history museums.

[B]

Well, this is where it's like, yeah, those. Those people that answered that way should not be fighting elders. Like, until you realize that art museums are superior museum. You shouldn't be right.

[A]

They're children. They're in the air and space museum. Trying to look at a.

[B]

Adults are always right to them. In that same vein, they couldn't even fight you. You're just that much more were older.

[C]

Art museums suck ass.

[A]

See, and. And this has proven that he's not ready.

[C]

I mean, like, they're kind of cool.

[A]

Okay, okay, he came around.

[C]

They can be cool. But like, I would definitely rather go to like, you know, the Natural History Museum or.

[B]

Or the Hockey hall of Fame or something like that.

[C]

No, I've been to the Hockey hall of Fame. It's not great.

[B]

Oh, I liked it.

[A]

Yeah, the rock and roll fame. Take the Rock and Roll hall of Fame is what they were all beating the drum for.

[B]

That's in Cleveland.

[A]

That sucks. That sucks.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Seeing the guitar that somebody played, it's like, why would you not want to just listen to the music that that person made?

[B]

I mean, if they had like, the decapitated pigeon from Ozzy Osbourne, I guess he ate a bat.

[A]

He ate a bat.

[B]

They had the bat's body.

[C]

Yeah, that would be.

[B]

That'd be cool to see.

[C]

Yeah, but they like, if you go to like, the Smithsonian, they got cool shit like that that I just don't care.

[A]

That's. That's just doesn't. It's like seeing Monet's paintbrush as opposed to his, like, paintings.

[C]

Oh, I would rather see the brush for sure.

[A]

Dumb.

[C]

No, I think that'd be like. If you saw like.

[A]

Yeah, you'd rather see the brush.

[C]

Van Gogh's ear wrapped up in a napkin.

[B]

Harry is a builder, not an enjoyer.

[A]

So you would. You. You wouldn't want to see the art. You'd rather see how the art was built.

[C]

I mean, I think I would just rather see like a healthy in between you. Maybe both Maybe like. Yeah, I actually think that would be cool. Like the Mona. Here's the Mona Lisa. Here's the brush.

[B]

We've known this for a long time, Roan, right?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

In an alternate universe, if Harry's working in food, he is 100 times out of a hundred, a chef, not a restaurant critic.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah, for sure.

[B]

In fact, he's probably the guy building the ovens, maybe tuning those. I don't know.

[C]

I mean, I worked in restaurants.

[A]

That or a line cook. I mean, line cook is.

[C]

I was always a food runner. They never trusted me behind the.

[A]

Under the hood.

[B]

Well, you didn't work your way up enough. You needed to stay in that.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, that's true.

[A]

I don't even know how you get the first job cooking, you know, if you've never cooked before.

[C]

I don't know. I was watching some video yesterday about Rikers island, and they were. They kept on. They were talking about, like, the food, and they show how they make the food, and it's like in. It's like how you would imagine they make the food. It's just massive. The biggest vats you've ever seen. Like, the size of this room.

[B]

Boom.

[C]

But he was cracking me up because they kept on calling the prisoners that helped make the food chefs. And they were like. They were like. And it's a shame, because this guy, he wants to go back to his chef duties, but he's just too busy elsewhere. And it's like, dude, they're not. They have a.

[B]

The.

[C]

The biggest spoon you've ever seen in your entire life. Like, it's not like they're, like, adding a hint of salt. It's like they have, like a. A kayaking ore that they're stirring up the food.

[A]

Food with. Yeah.

[B]

What do you go from there when you get out of prison? It's like, oh, hey, by the way, you know, South Sudan, they're starving, and there's a UN aid truck that could really use your skill set. Yeah.

[C]

They kept on being like, you're capable

[B]

of scooping rice with a shovel. Send you over there.

[A]

Isn't chef and earned title. I think, like, you can't just. You don't just become the chef just because you cook.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That's like calling the, like, prison. The guy who, like, stitched you up with a bed sheet. A doctor. Doctor.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like, you have to earn being a chef. Yeah. Go to medical or.

[C]

No. I think in prison. I think at Rikers, it's just if you're in the kitchen, you're a chef.

[B]

How'd that food work? I mean, what did it. What did it. What kind of food were they eating? Did it look any good?

[C]

No, it was, like, the worst. It was like when you watch a movie about prison and they show the food.

[B]

What was it?

[C]

I don't know. I've never seen food that looks like that.

[B]

It's just all kind of just slop and. And so it's probably potatoes. Mashed potatoes.

[C]

They said they use a lot of ramen noodle season packets.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And just empty them on everything.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

So everything just kind of probably tastes super salty, if I had to guess.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

But it's literally like, they just have, like, four bowls.

[A]

I feel like they can't even put vanilla and stuff because there's alcohol and then vanilla.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They'll just be knocking back, like.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

They probably can't use fruit because that. People just take it, ferment it.

[C]

Yeah. There was one lady who was in it that was like, she. That's what it was.

[A]

It was.

[C]

There was a lady who was a chef at Rikers island, and then she got arrested.

[B]

Did.

[C]

And had to go to Rikers, but she wasn't allowed to be a chef because they're.

[A]

Wait, the chefs aren't inmates?

[C]

No.

[A]

Oh, I thought they were inmates.

[C]

It's like, the chefs.

[A]

There's.

[C]

There's inmates that work in the kitchen, but they're only allowed to wash dishes. And one other thing.

[A]

But they can't use food or anything.

[C]

They can't use knives or anything. So there was a lady that was. There was a lady that was a chef there, worked there, got arrested for something outside of prison, went back to. Had to go to Rikers. But she's. And she still worked in the kitchen, but they were like. Unfortunately, we're not allowed to use her chef skills anymore. She's only allowed to do the dishes now because now she's an idiot.

[B]

Demoted.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

No one ripped ramen seasoning.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

No one opened the packet and shook it out.

[B]

Yeah. I love the idea, though, that, like, you know, on her last day in prison, they, like, treat her.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

To, like. All right, we're gonna let you use knives. We're gonna let you cook one of your signature.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

20 pound. No, it's more potato piles.

[A]

It's not even real potatoes. Like, they're using, like, the instant flakes.

[C]

Everything is powder.

[A]

Yeah. Just a powder that they turn into potatoes. Powder into meat.

[C]

It's literally like they have a vat. It'll be like, time to make the Mashed potatoes. And someone opens up like a fucking. Like a bag of mulch. Almost

[A]

drywall.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. Like a bag of fertilizer. And they just empty, empty 10 of them into this, the biggest bowl that's ever been created.

[B]

It always baffles me. I do that joke about Rikers at the beginning of my set, and I

[C]

was thinking about that when I was

[B]

watching it, cracking me up in particular in New York. Occasionally I will get people groaning.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Which means that they are like, they're not happy that I'm making fun of prisoners.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm like, do you know what they did to get in there?

[C]

I didn't know that Rikers was mostly. It's like not a lot of people staying. It's mostly like a year top.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not a maximum.

[C]

I didn't know. I thought it was like a max. I thought it was maximum security.

[B]

Well, no, it's just a very bad prison.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It's like you don't want to be there at all.

[C]

There's a mile long bridge to get there.

[B]

What?

[C]

Yeah, that's what they said.

[B]

I mean, you can see it. You fly right over it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

From every time you leave LaGuardia. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

They were asking a question around the office that was, would you rather spend two years on probation or 20 days? Two days. No, 20 days in jail or two years on probation? And a shocking amount of people were saying they take the jail time.

[B]

That's

[C]

like being like, would you rather have $1,000 or $100,000?

[A]

Give me the thousand.

[C]

That's just like, clearly not even. Would you rather.

[A]

Rather they're like, what? They're like, well, you would have it hanging over you for like the whole time.

[B]

It's like a trick talking about, like,

[A]

just don't break the law. What do you mean?

[B]

It's more like, would you rather have like a 50. 50 shot at getting incredibly hurt or for two years people are like, better behave.

[A]

They don't even actively.

[C]

How many. How long was the probation?

[A]

Two years of probation, 20 days in. In jail, not prison.

[B]

Are we talking, talking. We're not talking house arrest.

[A]

Nope. Jail.

[B]

But I'm saying the probation side of it.

[A]

No. Just living your life. But you're on probation.

[B]

Yeah. You have to sit, see a parole officer.

[A]

I don't even think you have to see parole. Parole means I think you got out of jail. I think probation.

[C]

What's probation? Probation's like, you can't.

[A]

You can't fuck up again. No, you. I think you can drink on probation.

[C]

You just can't get arrested.

[A]

You just can't get arrested.

[B]

No, you're thinking if you can drink on vacation.

[C]

I think there's still rules when you're on probation. Like, I think you have to go to a probation.

[B]

You can't drink under prohibition.

[A]

We're thinking of Nucky Thompson, Atlantic City.

[B]

That's what it is.

[C]

Of course. Yeah, of course.

[A]

Now you remember.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

I'm definitely taking the two years probate. I mean, I'm. Yeah, that seems way better.

[A]

I would probably do two years prohibition instead of 20 days in jail.

[C]

Definitely.

[B]

I would do two years of prohibition followed by three years of probation just

[C]

to stay out of prison. I mean, they say the United States prison system is built to break human beings in 30 days. So I think if you're sneaking out 10 days under your pocket, like, still.

[A]

Yeah. You're unbroken.

[C]

I'm not. I'm not fully. I'm a little off, but I'm not broken.

[A]

Still unwritten. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's. I think that's. That's.

[C]

I think if I was in. I think I could. I think I could power through 20 days in prison, though.

[A]

Yeah. Winter, summer. Winter, summer.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Like you. Young guy like you. You're getting turned inside.

[C]

No, I think I would just meditate.

[A]

Prison, by the way, you keep saying prison.

[C]

What's the difference?

[A]

I think jail is just, like. It's not as bad as prison. Prison. Like a penitentiary jail. You're just like, in a jail.

[C]

No, I think you're. I think you got a. I think. I think prison and jail are the same.

[B]

No, no, a jail is a place that you get held until you have your sentencing or your. Your hearing or whatever interesting a prison is. You are serving time.

[C]

So 20 days in jail.

[B]

The drunk tank, you could argue, is

[A]

jail or, like a jail. Yeah, like, you get arrested, you go to jail. Jail. You never remember Slim Shady, bro. There's a place called heaven There's a place called hell There's a place called prison A place called jail. I thought you were a. A stand like me, brother. I thought you were an acolyte of the good word. By the way, you saw. You guys saw Kim got arrested for dui.

[C]

That. Marshall should have killed her when he had the chance. Always hated her. Me and my boys hated a Cam growing up.

[A]

He was dead right about her.

[C]

Everything he said, nothing got us fired up like Kim.

[B]

I just. I just hope that Haley took after her father.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, not her mother.

[C]

Oh, man.

[A]

Unbelievable.

[C]

That's a Shame, though. I'm sorry to hear that from. For Kim.

[A]

I wonder if she.

[C]

Hope she figures things out.

[A]

I wonder if she'll get the 20 days or the two years.

[C]

Yeah, that's. It's a con. It's a big debate happening right now, but I think I could meditate through prison pretty easily, to be honest. For 20 days at least. Just a 20 day, deep, deep meditation.

[A]

Get the call map in there.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Bring in the Calm app.

[B]

I think that you sit down at that. At that cantina, the cafeteria, and someone's put in a fucking tray. Struggle with your face.

[A]

The cantina.

[C]

I would probably struggle with the food and the violence.

[B]

Months. Well, that's where you need to say, I. I'm. I'm kosher.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Then they give you a different. They give you the good food, they give you the goods.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Some blessed food. Can you say that?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

That's like a big thing. Halal.

[B]

Kosher.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, halal.

[B]

They honor that.

[C]

They all do that. It's like a big, big thing in prison.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is that why people become Muslim in prison? Oh, I thought it was because of the good word tattoo. Huh. Interesting. That's a damn shame.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

That happens in. What's it called?

[A]

American History. X.

[B]

The night.

[C]

The night of. The night of. Yeah.

[A]

Robbie. Malik.

[B]

That was awesome.

[A]

Banger.

[C]

It's definitely not Ronnie, the other Middle Eastern brother.

[B]

That Indian guy who's amazing.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And there's that British, too, right?

[C]

From what's it called? Success, Succession, Session, Reverence.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Right.

[B]

Yep.

[C]

Isn't he the detective or the.

[B]

He's one of the guys. He's not. Yes. Yes.

[C]

He's the provided attorney.

[B]

Yeah. That. He's also in. Mr. Deeds.

[C]

He's great.

[B]

Yeah, he's really good.

[C]

Hard to not be that guy. He's the best.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He's a Mr. Deeds.

[C]

I finished Mad Men.

[B]

Nice.

[C]

Devastating. What's the point of anything anymore?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How are you not watching Summer House? You should be.

[B]

I can't believe that. That.

[A]

Just check out the place before you move in.

[B]

You know, show is still on the air.

[A]

Oh, it's just having its best season yet.

[B]

Is it really?

[A]

It's the Mad Men of Bravo.

[B]

Oh, my God. I've told them to their face like you guys have thrown your lives away.

[C]

The Summer House people.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I don't. I've never watched it.

[A]

He was just reading a text exchange that he had from somebody on Summer House.

[C]

Really?

[B]

No, no, no.

[A]

You'd love it, Harry. I don't think I would love It.

[C]

I don't know if I would.

[A]

We got to do an Oscars party too. Just those guys. I feel like that'd be so nice.

[C]

What's in the noms? I'm not familiar.

[A]

Who's up for best pick Supreme?

[B]

Yeah, Oscars probably sentimental value. I've heard that's really good.

[A]

Train Diaries. Train dairies.

[B]

The.

[C]

Is going on with my phone, dude.

[A]

Yeah, Harry's phone's busted.

[C]

Just trying to show Ron a video of. Of some gamer on a bunch of Adderall.

[A]

They invited me and you to Major three in.

[C]

In Atlanta.

[B]

Sick. You guys got money for that? No, but they said because Jerry keeps calling me and being like, we need your dad's company to sponsor us. And I'm like, He sold it 13 years ago.

[C]

Yeah, no, he actually said that.

[B]

Yeah, he called me.

[A]

You didn't say that.

[B]

He called me. I. I was in the. I was about to go stage at Pittsburgh Improv.

[C]

Oh, no.

[B]

And I'm in the green room.

[C]

No, I did not know that.

[B]

He called me and I'm like, what's going on here? And I was like, I'm a huge fan of the bush, but, like, you want me to give money and then what? There's just. He has no plan for what.

[A]

Should be asking Hank.

[C]

Why?

[A]

Because his dad owns a bunch of Taco Bells.

[C]

Oh, that's genius.

[A]

Right? And then you get the Taco Bell Bell, but you get the franchises to.

[C]

We need the Taco. We need a. A caterer. We need like a food sponsor.

[B]

You guys are putting everything in the wrong order. You want a food sponsor before you have a. Can you guys just take yourselves a little more seriously?

[C]

I want serious.

[B]

I want this to work.

[C]

We've had so many calls with advertisers.

[A]

Yeah. Franchise.

[C]

I didn't know that happened. I don't know why that's even happening. But we. I've had meetings. Jerry and Mook have had a bunch of calls with actual advertisers.

[A]

Like, what kind of brands?

[C]

I'll never say what kind of brands.

[A]

What kind of brands?

[C]

Everything. Gaming, energy.

[B]

How long before you hate this?

[C]

I don't think I'm going to hate it.

[B]

You're close.

[C]

No, I think there is a possibility that I won't. Maybe those cups might get a little

[B]

bit

[C]

tiring, but I definitely don't hate it. I love doing it.

[B]

Tiring is for sure you the pre. Symptom to hatred.

[C]

No, it's not.

[B]

I know you.

[C]

I really don't get like, burnt out of things.

[A]

I. I want to Say something.

[C]

I don't know where that's gotten around. I feel like I'm like, pretty consistent with the things that I do.

[A]

I want to say something just so we can make a clip out of it. In the last episode, Francis talked about how he's not really, like, a super social.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And doesn't.

[C]

Well, we gotta say we were talking about his dad, Frank. Francis goes, he's like my dad. Like, he'll get off the plane and he'll just talk to the person next to him. And we were like, yeah, that's exactly what you do.

[A]

And he's like, I don't know.

[C]

He's like, no, I don't talk to. When I'm walking down the street, I'm

[A]

talking to no one on the walk. Francis and I walked home and took the subway home that day. I stopped to get a cappuccino on the way, and Francis spent seven minutes leaned over the counter asking them to show how you. You make latte art with the La Marzocco. And a lady was making multiple drinks, being like, well, you could do it like this. She's like, well, and let me make one for myself. And I just have video of Francis

[C]

leaned fully over the counter, hanging over the counter. Like, all you. All she could probably see was just your head

[A]

blocking out the above. Like. Like, I just went in for a coffee, and then I was in there for quite some time after I almost finished the coffee that I got to go.

[C]

There was another one too, right?

[A]

And then on the actual train, Francis went up to a gay Japanese guy to ask him where he got his pants from.

[B]

I wanted to know where he got his coat from, that guy. So he looked sick. So good from.

[A]

And I was like, I don't know. And you're like, I'm gonna go ask him. And I have footage of that too. Mac.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

What did he say?

[B]

He told me it's from a brand called Color, spelled with a K, from Japan. I knew it was Jeff Japanese.

[A]

He's like, it's Japanese. And this guy's completely Japanese.

[B]

Uniqlo made in Japan is like, a far higher quality.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah, they have. They have Uniqlo Japan. And it's.

[C]

What do you like? How do you get that? Do you order it offline?

[A]

It's like the Polo Purple collection. I think it costs $3,000 for it.

[C]

You got to go to Japan.

[B]

I think you got to get it there.

[C]

I mean, Uniqlo stuff in America is pretty high quality.

[B]

I like it. But it's pretty mass produced, right? I think the one there, there's something. They do collaborations over there too.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

They'll collab with really cool brands.

[C]

I haven't been to Uniqlo in a while, but I used to. I mean, I wear their shirts all the time. I have one on right now, long sleeve is Uniqlo.

[B]

They make great like basics, puffer coats and blanks. We'll call them blanks.

[A]

Billie Eilish had a collab with Uniqlo before Classic.

[C]

That's not really their typical demographic.

[A]

What does that mean?

[C]

Typically they go for tiny, skinny me.

[A]

Asians.

[C]

Asians not. Yeah, but women.

[A]

That's what you think of when you

[B]

think of Billie Eilish who wear gigantic clothing.

[A]

It's like having Bad Bunny at the Super Bowl. Like you're trying to bring in a new audience. You have to go like way out of the Venn diagram so there's less over overlap.

[C]

Yeah, I like them in Unic. Looney Club makes a damn good T shirt too.

[B]

I like, I like Uniqlo.

[C]

I like how they go down far on the arms.

[B]

Dude, there's a store in Japan. I mean, my whole Instagram is my life up right, right now. Because it's just like, you want more. You want more.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

That you haven't seen. There's a store in Japan that only sells different types of white T shirts.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

From like dozens of brands. And I'm talking like loop wheeled, you know, like Mars B. Schwanen and. And Anatomica. And I mean there's some really cool ones. So I'm ordering the. I ordered a couple of those.

[C]

So you're ordering clothes from places in Japan?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And are they sending them from Japan?

[B]

Yeah, I have to. But they, they bake the import fee into the price that they show you.

[C]

So like how much, how many shirts did you get?

[B]

Well, I just got two. Two white T shirts.

[C]

Like how much is that for the two?

[B]

It was a hundred bucks.

[C]

Not bad at all.

[B]

Yeah, well, I had to throw out a couple white shirts because they're stained.

[C]

Happens.

[A]

So are these going to be in the workout rotation or is this like.

[C]

This is the going out, this is the stepping out.

[B]

I wear, I wear a white T shirt every day. Yeah, pretty much. I mean it's my base layer pretty much every single day.

[C]

That's like if you're going to the club, you're going.

[B]

No, I wouldn't wear that as just I'm not a white T shirt guy.

[A]

As you're trying to convince him he's a white tea guy.

[B]

I'VE worn maybe like a white tee

[C]

with like a blazer over it.

[B]

Well, that's cool.

[C]

Yeah. Maybe pretty swaggy succession.

[A]

No, I don't think Francis would do that though.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, I have worn only a white tea before, but usually that's because I'm hot. Hot. In fact, I am uncomfortably hot right now.

[C]

It's pretty warm.

[A]

Why don't you pop off and let us see that white tea?

[C]

See that white tea? Let that thing breathe.

[A]

Oh, I just want to see what you're going from to like, what the Japanese one's going to look like. I want to look. Know what to look st differences.

[B]

No, this one's fine.

[A]

This is.

[C]

I would love it if it was stained. So is that Japanese or is that. If that's American?

[B]

I think this is made in Japan. Yeah.

[C]

Really?

[B]

You want heavy heavyweight white teas?

[A]

Yeah, I want to buy mine by the ounce.

[B]

You want to put it on and be like, I. I'm so tired.

[C]

Yeah, it's.

[B]

It's heavy.

[A]

It's like a flak J jacket.

[C]

Heavy as the team.

[A]

What was the president that they like, tried to shoot him with the. It's hilarious.

[B]

The president that. What?

[A]

No, no, I'm saying that they. He was wearing a Japanese T shirt and they tried to shoot him and

[C]

it bounced off the bullet.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Is this just like. You're just naming things that happen to presidents that didn't actually happen? Is that like a.

[A]

It was more of a throwaway.

[B]

I've never heard. I mean, it's a good bit, dude. I like that as a bit.

[C]

Carhartt. Carhartt makes some good teas, some heavies.

[B]

Also a company that like, I think has their own operation in Japan where everything's just made way better.

[A]

To the Carhartt WIP store in Japan. And it was.

[B]

Yes, hard work in progress. Yeah, it works in progress.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, they're nice.

[B]

It's like when they say that the McDonald's in France tastes way better ever.

[A]

The McDonald's in Japan is better than the McDonald's in France, I'll tell you that much. I bet you gotta get over there some A5 wagyu on the big Mac.

[B]

What I've resolved and have I told

[C]

you I got McDonald's in France. It tasted the exact same. I'll be the first to say it. I'm not buying it. It's the same. It's the same company, same recipe.

[A]

No, it's there. You think they're sourcing American beef over there and there's different beef quality standards, different bread.

[C]

So if you go to. If you go to McDonald's in Japan, you're getting, like, a we beef burger.

[A]

I think that you're getting a Japanese. Japanese steer.

[C]

Yeah, but it's still meat.

[B]

No, but hold on a second. The people that work at the McDonald's in Japan care about quality.

[C]

They love McDonald's.

[B]

They're not. It's like they live and breathe.

[C]

Like, they have Ronald McDonald posters in their house.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

They're like, this is who we serve for.

[A]

They're a fearless leader.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. They're more motivated over there. That's the thing.

[A]

Maca Donaldo's, like, that's like.

[C]

You get a job at McDonald's in Japan, that's a sign of, like, respect.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

An honor.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You have a code.

[B]

Your father worked at McDonald's.

[C]

Yeah, exactly. You got a job at McDonald's in. In America. You're cashing it in.

[B]

Zero.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It's over. Yeah.

[C]

I've given up, folks.

[B]

It's time to talk about the League. I've talked to you about it before, and I'm going to say it again. If you're not on the league, you're making a mistake. The League has been an unbelievable resource for me as far as finding meaningful and important connections with people that I'm actually excited to go on dates with. Not gonna lie, I've started seeing somebody thanks to the League, and I'm really enjoying this person. The League is absolutely the best dating app that I have used. It is highly intentional. It's not about exclusivity. It's about efficiency and quality. Again, they're not throwing hundreds and hundreds of faces at you for you to just swipe and become numb and not have any sense about who you're looking at. They're choosing, choosing very carefully, the people they think you have the best chance of having a connection with. I'm a big fan of the League, and I'm here to say that you should date in a way that respects your time and your standards. Join me on the League, download the app and apply today.

[C]

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[B]

I'm a big fan and that is

[C]

why we love Kraken.

[B]

Our favorite kraken.comfdM what was I going to say?

[A]

Was you talking about that sweet Japanese T shirt that you have?

[B]

No, I mean we talk. Oh, this.

[C]

Is that denim Japanese? What is that denim Japanese?

[B]

No, I think this is Belgian bro's.

[C]

Got no American on them. You hate American boots.

[B]

Oh, no, the boots are British.

[C]

Oh, what the hell.

[A]

This guy's a un yard sale.

[B]

Um, but what I was going to say is that I'm now of the mindset roan that I. The only way for me to get to Japan is if I go for about four days. And I'm thinking I might do that.

[A]

Why four?

[B]

I can't. I can't spare a week of my life right now.

[A]

So only Tokyo?

[B]

Yeah, just go to Tokyo and then do another trip at some point in my life.

[C]

Is that including the travel or get four full days in. In Tokyo?

[B]

Hopefully four full days. I can't miss. I don't want to miss us. You don't want to miss recording and, and you know what if we record

[C]

with you in Japan?

[B]

I don't think they have WI fi.

[C]

I think they do.

[B]

They got good WI fi. We let them have that after the. What they did to us.

[C]

I think they have Starlink.

[B]

Damn, dude.

[C]

I think after we bombed Japan, we gave them Starlink in return as a.

[B]

We felt bad.

[A]

I found out this morning the QR code is invented by a Japanese man. Mac told me that it was in 1994. The QR code was invented by a Japanese 94.

[C]

4.

[A]

That's. Yeah, that's be the same reaction.

[C]

How were they using it?

[A]

Just hoping. Just wishing. Hoping it would turn into something. I think that they were.

[C]

They were taking it on a film camera.

[A]

You get the. You'll get the miles, you'll get the time back on your way back. Yeah, you know, like you're. You're flying. You're basically. It's 2 o' clock the entire time that you'll take off at 2pm and land at 2pm Basically.

[B]

Basically.

[A]

I think you got to do it.

[B]

I think the Trip to Japan is easier than the trip to New Zealand was. I'm pretty confident for sure.

[A]

And it caters to, like, no offense, lonely single men.

[B]

Well, Japan does it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, why I avoided. Hold on a second.

[C]

That's why all men in America are

[B]

obsessed with Japan because they're already. They're leading the charge on loneliness.

[C]

Yeah. I mean, that isn't like the restaurants. You stare at a wall and.

[B]

Or.

[A]

And you have your own personal cubicle for everything. You can have personal cubicle hot rooms. And like, if you need someone, they have companion bars where Japanese women will just like, be with you and you don't need that.

[B]

I'm not that social, but I'm saying they.

[A]

And it's. It's built for that.

[B]

I don't like talking to people.

[C]

I watched a video last night as well about the only legal brothel in America.

[A]

Only legal one.

[B]

The one.

[C]

Maybe one of the legal ones.

[B]

It's the one in Sherry's.

[C]

Sherry's Palace, I believe.

[B]

Oh, I thought it was the one. Nevada.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

They did the Bunny Ranch on HBO for a minute years.

[C]

Oh, really?

[B]

Which is such a weird show.

[C]

This was. It was a bizarre video. It's pretty funny though, huh?

[B]

That's.

[A]

It's pretty gross. Pretty gross. The people working there, it's hilarious.

[C]

Like, they're walking. They have like. They have like different rooms for everything. One of them, they walk in. It's just a straight up. It's just a classroom, like for children. And they're like, yeah, this is the schoolgirl experience.

[B]

Oh, boy.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

When we went to the. I did a video at the Bunny Room Ranch in Nevada and interviewed the guy, Dennis Hoff, one of his last interviews, like months before he died. And the highest grossing working woman that they had there.

[C]

Wait, is he the guy that's like the mayor.

[A]

He was a politician there. He's like.

[C]

Baldwin won the election, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

After he died.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

He still won.

[A]

Yeah. Then it's off. But the woman. There's a woman there who made $2 million a year just hoen. Just being a prostitute.

[C]

But she a girl.

[A]

I mean, well, she looks like a. A young girl. She looks like she's not 21 yet and is built like that, which is like. This is what the. The fantasies are of the guys who are paying the most, which is pretty.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

Unfortunate. But legal.

[A]

In Nevada.

[C]

In Nevada it is legal.

[A]

And you'll notice. I'm not saying Nevada.

[B]

Did I say that?

[A]

No, no, you didn't.

[B]

But I might have. No, no, you didn't.

[A]

You Didn't. I'm not correcting you. I'm just saying that I don't say New Orleans and I don't say Nevada.

[C]

I do.

[B]

Do you say Oregon?

[C]

No.

[A]

Is that how they say.

[B]

No, they say Oregon.

[A]

I think I say Oregon.

[C]

Yeah, that's just the per. That's just the correct pronunciation.

[A]

But some people are out here saying Nevada or Nevada.

[C]

Well, which one is it? Those sound exactly the same.

[A]

I say Nevada, so they say Nevada. Nevada. They're not saying Nevada.

[C]

Nevada.

[B]

Dude, I saw a guy at the

[A]

gym yesterday, Jack, talk to me.

[B]

He was doing something that I liked a lot.

[C]

Okay, break it down.

[B]

He was doing. It was a 10 rep, pull up, get down on the floor, burpee, but with like a burpee, with like a pushup and then, then back up on the bar. So you do 10 of each. And he's trying to get it all done in a minute. And then he took two minutes off and did another set. So afterwards I went up to him. I didn't know all that. And I said, hey, man. I took my. Hey, man. And he took his out.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Hey, I, I like that thing you were doing. Like, what can you tell me? Your splits and like your, your reps and stuff. And he walked me through it. He was like, I've never seen you here jacked. He goes, do you usually come at this time? And I was like, yeah, 5pm and he was like, I never come at this time. It's too crowded. I'm usually here at 5am And I was like, all right, pal.

[C]

Yeah, that's. You should say I'm always here at 5 a. I come. Well, I go twice a day, so I'm usually here at 5 and 5pm I've never seen you here once.

[B]

I must just.

[A]

I miss.

[B]

I must just missed you because I'm here at 4.

[C]

4am yeah, I'll probably in the sauna around then when you're getting in. I'm just wrapping up.

[B]

Dude, can you imagine working out every day at five in the morning?

[C]

That's. One of my good friends does that. Who I'm no longer allowed to talk about.

[B]

His name rhymes with no.

[C]

He does that every day.

[B]

That's outrageous to me.

[A]

What's his. What's his workout? What kind of workout are we talking?

[C]

I'm not allowed to talk about that.

[A]

No offense to Bo, but.

[B]

Whoa.

[C]

You're not allowed to say that. Oh, these are clear rules.

[A]

I didn't realize I doxed him badly like that. I need to.

[B]

He's like A major part of the podcast.

[A]

Not anymore.

[B]

Been talking about him for years.

[C]

I'm totally kidding. He said he just doesn't want us

[A]

to go into detail about Birmingham.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Which makes sense because that could limit what he ends up. How. How high he could rise in what he's currently doing.

[A]

Yeah, I think we're helping him. I think that. That we're like giving him like, maybe some social currency to build off of.

[C]

We got to move on. Someone's already been said too much.

[B]

A guy that I. I went to school with who had studied Arabic, which usually meant he had studied. He was like a dual major of Arabic and computer science.

[A]

Ariel from lacrosse?

[B]

No, no. This kid, though, he just.

[A]

He.

[B]

He was. I was like, what are you doing after school? And he's like, I'm gonna go work in D.C. i was like, oh, what are you gonna do there? And he's like, you know, think tank, which means CIA or intelligence of some kind. Right. In all likelihood. And I was like, can you tell me more? And he goes, it's. He's like, I'm. I'm not in what you think I am, but the more that I tell you, the more it could limit my ability to do well at my job. And I was like, say less.

[C]

Yeah, makes sense.

[B]

Which I thought was a cool answer.

[A]

That is so cool.

[C]

That means CIA. That's pretty much what that means.

[B]

It could.

[A]

That means he's working at a nia.

[B]

Yeah. Or nsa. Yeah, nsa too.

[C]

Claudebot. He might be working for Claude.

[A]

Yeah. Or Open Claw. Wait, so Francis, I read something the other day.

[C]

So that Chat GBT isn't actually like. It's like they. Sam Altman like knew what AI was going to become. So apparently he just hired like 30,000 bros in India and they're just replying to you on Chat GBT every time you type.

[A]

I heard that too. Yeah, that's like when you're leaving the. The place at the airport where you

[C]

have to pay for self checkout.

[A]

Self checkout. That's.

[C]

There's.

[A]

There's somebody like in a computer, like putting everything on your card.

[C]

Exactly.

[A]

That you grabbed. That's true. That's actually what's happening in those.

[C]

Cuz I got a notification from Chat GBT just like popped up. It was like, yo, what's good?

[B]

I'm done,

[A]

Francis. I have to go back. Do you mean to say that it's for the. For burpees is you're not supposed to do a push up on a standard burpee?

[B]

No. Oh, I wouldn't I wouldn't say it's a push up. You. You ch. You touch your chest to the ground

[C]

and you get up, but, like, he's

[B]

doing, like, get down push, like, stop himself in a bridge, then do a push up, then a. Like a. I don't know what you'd call it.

[A]

He explodes.

[B]

Bring your feet forward. Jump up bar.

[C]

Was he yoked?

[B]

Yeah, he looked good. Y.

[C]

More yoked than you?

[B]

Way, way more.

[C]

So he didn't ever, like, you didn't.

[B]

I'm never gonna look yolked because I won't pretty. Yo. I won't commit to the calorie thing.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I can't commit to eating the way that you need to eat in order to look like a Marvel superhero. Yeah.

[C]

It's too much.

[A]

Well, I don't know. There's other ways that guys get around it. I don't think that Kumail Nanjiani just had a good diet.

[B]

No, but that's.

[A]

Jaw structure changed.

[B]

Yeah, but that's a big part of it. You need to just. Just eat crazy amounts of calories. Yeah.

[C]

I tried to do it for, like, a week, and I failed. It was. I was literally like, this is not. This is not a normal.

[A]

Oh, you're saying food to be eating enough.

[B]

I can't eat enough and clean, like, chicken breasts.

[C]

Yeah, you got to eat. The thing is, you have to eat, like, a ton of calories, and it has to all be clean.

[B]

As you need to meal prep, and you need to be willing to cook a lot, and you need to eat humongous quantities. And I don't have. Have really the time in my day to add, like, two more full meals.

[C]

No. Especially then when they're just chicken and rice.

[B]

Sweet potatoes.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Steamed broccoli. You look at what these guys on Instagram, it's like when they're talking about body transformations and they give you what they've eaten. They're. I started my day today with whole grain oats and some raw honey, and then a can of cantaloupe and raspberries, and you're like. And six, you know, fried eggs. I'm like, that would take me 40 minutes.

[C]

That's the thing to prepare all that food. Yeah. It's, like, hard to.

[B]

And then you have to. I. I like my apartment clean, so I clean all that up.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And then you do that, what, four more times that day, I guess.

[A]

Or meal prep your ass off. And then it's just like, you know, what everything's going to be, and then your. The end of your Week is the worst part, because every meal you have was prepared on Sunday night.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

I mean, you got to be. You got to be doing like. You just gotta. It's a lot of cooking. That's what it is. Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

It's a lot of.

[A]

A lot of cocaine.

[C]

I remember I did, like, I. Even when I was back in my chef days, when I first moved to New York, I'd have to wake up early as and make like, lunch. I'd bring lunch into the. Into barstool. And then I realized that no one does that. And then I just started getting delivery like everyone else.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Ruined my life, really. Destroyed. Broke me down. I would be so much healthier if I never did that.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

If I just stuck with my original ways.

[B]

Well, you can. You can kind of try to hype hybrid back.

[C]

I don't have. I'm getting a new refrigerator finally, so hopefully that'll help.

[A]

Francis, Jerry said that he'll get on the game at like 4 o' clock in the morning sometimes times and Sass will hardly be on it.

[C]

That's just not true.

[A]

Why would he lie?

[C]

I don't know. I literally, I. I don't think I've been on Black Ops 7 this game, this current game, once at that late. I don't like it enough.

[B]

I think this is why you are tired all the time. I'm.

[C]

I swear to God.

[B]

You tell me you're tired a lot,

[A]

but you think you're blaming the. Your. Your health on your lunches as opposed to your sleep schedule, and they could be equal culprits, literally.

[C]

Like the last, like, week straight, I've gone to bed at like midnight and woken up at like 8.

[A]

You're sedentary on the game and Jerry caught you. He sniped you.

[C]

If anything, I. Maybe I left my game on.

[B]

Oh, that's what they always say.

[C]

Oh, I do that all the time.

[A]

Yeah. Just left your car running.

[C]

No, that's the thing. It's not a car.

[A]

Just left your. Your computer, left your phone at that person's house.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

What else did Jerry say? You guys talked for a while.

[A]

Yeah, we did. He said that you care more about Telluride bush than you've ever cared about anything at barstool. And I just had to be like, crazy. That is true.

[C]

That's crazy.

[A]

It's true. Now that I think about it, this never.

[C]

That never happened.

[A]

It didn't. I mean, all the. These guys all work on the show say that that's.

[C]

That's diabolical.

[A]

I Mean, he's just reporting the news. He has no reason to lie.

[B]

I. I don't disagree with that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Why is that bad?

[C]

I would say I care about this show more.

[B]

I don't think so.

[C]

Definitely. I mean, I think I care about them both a lot.

[A]

Right. There you go.

[C]

Equal.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

No, I don't know. I. I don't know. I don't know what you guys want, what the answer is supposed to be.

[B]

I don't either. This is your world either.

[A]

I'm just. I'm reporting news.

[C]

Well, I heard some nasty things about Ron.com from Tyler.

[B]

Guys, what is happening here?

[C]

Tyler texted me last night. He goes. Ron said his end goal for Ron.com is to absorb. Son of a boy. Dad.

[A]

And make it.

[C]

And make it boydad.com with Ron. So you guys do what you want with that information.

[A]

Tyler, why would you give me. Why would you give up the secret sauce? You know how long we've been working on this plan?

[B]

Boy, d.com with Ron is such an insane way to meld those two things together.

[C]

Yeah. So do what you want with that.

[A]

Tyler gave up the keys.

[C]

I can't believe Jerry would say that. Nasty, nasty work.

[B]

Why?

[A]

He didn't say anything. He was just telling the truth.

[C]

Now he's trying to. He's trying to bury me.

[A]

No, he's not. He was saying all this stuff with a smile on his face.

[C]

He's trying to come cut me out.

[A]

No, he's not. He said the chat was saying that you didn't do anything that Mook and Jerry did, and he went to bat for you. He's like, they're stupid.

[C]

Oh, I see. I see. And that's what the people were saying in your chat?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[A]

One guy said that, and then the rest of the bush was backing him up.

[C]

I was getting. I was getting. I was getting dragged on Sunday.

[A]

Why?

[C]

I don't know. I'm just not like. Well, I mean, I said. I've said it, but. I said it already. But they're all together, and I'm in my apartment by myself.

[B]

We are. They're all down in there. Excuse me. They're all up in Chicago office. Us.

[A]

Jerry said that Sass is, like, the morale leader of the team, too.

[C]

Oh, big time.

[A]

And he said he'll, like, go, like, outside and, like, hang out with them outside for, like, five to 10 minutes and then come back inside. And he says they'll make him laugh so hard that their eyes are all red.

[B]

Oh, their eyes are all red.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[C]

The team.

[A]

Yeah, the team that you'll make on that team. Tell you ride chimneys.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I think that the biggest problem facing your team is the attrition of star players.

[C]

What do you mean?

[B]

That they. When they get good enough, they just leave. You need to find some way to keep them.

[C]

Well, that's not true. The guy that left, he had an offer, like, a couple weeks ago from a team and didn't leave, and now

[B]

he's gone from a pro team. So you got. You bought two more weeks out of him, and now he's gone.

[C]

Yeah, but he was waiting for, like, a good situation. Like, it's kind of already been established that our team is a better place to be than the bottom pro teams.

[B]

I guess. I guess my point is that how can you build team camaraderie and sort of continuity and trust when everyone is just constantly looking for their best off ramp?

[A]

I think it's. It's like, what the hell?

[B]

Pick it up hand.

[A]

You have to.

[C]

I don't got time for that right now.

[A]

You have to.

[C]

My phone's on 2%. It's gonna die.

[A]

Just do it.

[B]

That what it looks like when I call you, you just look at it and go, I don't have time for that right now.

[C]

Everybody, what's up? I'm on. We're on Boyd ad right now.

[B]

Oh, my bad.

[C]

I was calling you about something to do with foreplay. Oh, really? Not the actual. Obviously, you know, the actual.

[B]

It's the pocket.

[C]

The. The brand. Yeah, yeah, no, I knew. I knew that.

[B]

Trying to get tips for the bedroom. You want to call me back after the show?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, I'll call you back in a little bit.

[A]

All right.

[C]

See, Jerry's trying to get some golf content going up.

[B]

Some golf content. Usually.

[A]

Does he call you about golf club?

[B]

I mean, he has. And I bring sass down and collaborate with foreplay, and now I'm being cut up.

[C]

I think the thing with Jerry is, is, like, once you get on the phone with him once, he'll call you 15 times a day. Like, most of my day is spent on the phone with Jerry now.

[B]

So you take 15 calls a day from Jerry, and I would say that my hit rate when you. When I call you of you picking up is probably 2%.

[C]

No, no, we. I talked on the phone with you guys a of couple a couple times the other day.

[B]

Yeah, the three of us.

[C]

It's a good time.

[B]

Scheduled business meetings.

[C]

It's a good.

[B]

It's a good call.

[C]

Good chat.

[B]

Fine.

[C]

That's what these are it's like, it's like business meetings, but it's.

[B]

I only ever really call you if I have a stand up question. Yeah, and you should pick those up because those are easy calls.

[C]

Yeah, totally.

[B]

You need to. Can you do a little better for that?

[C]

Totally.

[B]

Okay. I won't ever ask you like serious stuff anymore.

[C]

No, I'm not. I, I, I feel like I'm. We're all in contact properly. We're all properly connected.

[A]

I don't think so.

[C]

No, but you seem to got a whole bunch of problems. Why don't you just get them off the chest?

[A]

I'm saying you and you and.

[C]

Why don't you just air them out?

[A]

You and Francis aren't properly connected.

[C]

This is just not. I talk to Francis all the time.

[A]

It's a one way street. It's just a one way street.

[C]

It's not true.

[A]

Are you saying that you, 98% of the time you're not connecting with him?

[C]

No, I'm. We're connecting quite a bit.

[B]

Do I call you at the wrong time? What's the best window for you?

[C]

The thing is you call me and it's like, I'm going to see you in 15 minutes.

[B]

That's not necessarily, it's, it's a lot

[C]

of the, A lot of times it's like right before we're going to record and I'm like, I'll just talk to him when I get in. Or today. You know, talk. You can talk to me when you get in. Obviously the boys have been here for a while. Yeah, came in early. I love business. Done. I actually did come in early because I was like, I gotta send a couple texts.

[A]

What do you mean?

[C]

What does that mean?

[A]

You didn't have. Oh, you were.

[C]

I was like, I'm not gonna do this if I'm at my apartment.

[B]

You wouldn't send texts.

[C]

It was just like long like boring texts. Business.

[B]

And your apartment isn't conducive to that.

[C]

20 distractions at home.

[A]

I got, I got to my desk from lunch and Sass was sitting there with his feet up on my desk. Desk.

[C]

Yeah. So really started Ron's attitude today and

[A]

then he started rolling up my weed.

[C]

Cuz RH just had that jar of weed that you gave that you kindly gifted him.

[B]

I didn't get on that. Yeah, did I?

[C]

Yeah, it was your main weed.

[B]

Oh yeah, I did.

[C]

And he hadn't smoked any of it. And I was like, Ron, are you going to smoke this? So I rolled, I convenienced it for him, put it in A package. That was easy. And he threw it at me.

[A]

That wasn't the main lead. That wasn't the main lead.

[C]

And he said, get your shoes off my desk, bitch. I was like, jesus.

[A]

Well, at least wear some boots. Didn't Francis just give you some boots?

[B]

Nope. His boots back.

[C]

Give me my boots.

[A]

Right. Well, you said you didn't have boots.

[C]

Cuz they're not like actual boots, they're like shoes. I mean, they're not boots. They don't go up past your ankle,

[B]

but they have a more of a Gore Texy waterproofness.

[C]

These are pretty waterproof. Don't be surprised.

[B]

Dare to tell me that they have holes in them. No, but they're not.

[C]

They don't go through. I think it's just built like that.

[B]

Harry, for style, you should wear your waterproof hiking boots in these streets. These wet, snowy streets.

[C]

There's no snow on the ground.

[B]

Are you crazy?

[C]

There's no snow on the sidewalks. Right.

[B]

I was outside.

[C]

So was.

[B]

I changed my mind. I was outside, bro. You saw me walking.

[C]

You saw me midwalk.

[A]

Yes. And you said it was a terrible walk because you had to walk from the, the train station to here. And you said it was a shitty walk.

[C]

I was cold, but my feet weren't wet, that's for sure. You can feel the socks.

[B]

Your reality is like you live in your own inception where it's just like the world. You build it as you go.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You think of something, you're like, I want this to be the way. Oh, there's no snow. There's no snow outside. 20, you know, record snowfall.

[C]

Windbreaker on today.

[B]

I'm not saying it's freezing. I'm just saying you can't convince me. I give up.

[A]

Windbreaker. A hoodie, A winter hat. A double hoodie. You wore two hoodies today. I tell you brought that hoodie from home.

[B]

I texted I. My whole goal in life is to make your life more easy and fun and convenient.

[C]

My life is perfect as it is.

[B]

I texted Harry today. We got it. We got a notification from the company that we.

[C]

Oh yeah, yeah.

[B]

Global entry. Great looks is coming to our office to do interview views so that you can get global entry, which is one of the most like vital and the best travel.

[C]

TSA pre check is the big one.

[B]

Well, you.

[A]

He said one of the most. You said one of the most.

[B]

I said global entry is the best. And I al I also. So I saw this email and I. I know Harry doesn't have TSA PreCheck and I said if you get Global entry. You can do Global entry and pre check under Global Entry. Kill two birds with one stone. You get the them both. And I sent this to him, and I was like, hey, you should do this. You should sign up for this. And he goes, oh, yeah, that sounds like a good idea. Today's the last day.

[C]

And then I said, I'm going to get on it.

[B]

You didn't say that. Did you respond to me?

[C]

Probably.

[B]

I don't think so.

[C]

My phone's going to die. Oh, no. You said, today's last day to sign

[A]

up, and you didn't respond.

[C]

I said, yeah, I'm definitely going to do that.

[B]

Yeah. And if I hadn't told you that today was the last day. That's not happening. That ship was.

[C]

So do I have to do it here? Like, in person?

[B]

You need to sign up and then pick a date, and it will. It will be at the office.

[C]

Yeah, I'm definitely going to do that.

[B]

Great.

[C]

Because I'm not going to Staples.

[B]

No, the other place you can do it is at the airport, but you'd have to just schedule it right before a flight.

[C]

Oh, well, maybe I'll do.

[B]

No, no, no.

[C]

Do it here and do it.

[B]

You have to do it. You'll be so happy you did.

[C]

I know. I got to do it because the. The sky priority line doesn't get it done anymore.

[B]

By the way, do you remember how you sent that TSA pre check was. Was finished?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, I was in Pittsburgh Airport during that time when they had that. That news came out.

[C]

So did everyone start walking away?

[B]

No, dude, I went up to the. The line and it was in the regular line or whatever. And I start. I was. I turned to the TSA agent and I was like, do I need to take my shoes off? Is pre check coast. And he goes, that didn't make it here yet. Like, we don't get. We at. Here in Pittsburgh.

[A]

They're both different.

[B]

Yeah, we. Yeah, we don't deal with all that government bureaucracy.

[C]

I didn't even understand what they were trying to do. They were trying to get it so that everyone was just going to be in one general line. Like, they were trying to get rid of all the priority lines.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Yes or not. I'm not clear, because that's privatized.

[B]

But they wanted to focus their personnel on the broader. Broader amount of people who travel.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Which is people who don't have TSA PreCheck.

[A]

Which is dumb, though, because this makes it so much more efficient.

[B]

Everyone should have TSA PreCheck.

[C]

If you travel a lot.

[B]

No, dude, everyone should have it.

[C]

Well, then it defeats TSA Precheck. You don't want. This is. I'm. We might want to cut that. Honestly,

[A]

we gotta pull up the ladder behind us.

[C]

Everyone should have Clear.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Have you ever gotten gone to the airport for an early flight and clear is just not open?

[B]

No, I don't think so.

[A]

Happened to you in Austin?

[B]

Did you need the optionality so that you can choose is the bottom line?

[C]

I think TSA Precheck's the best one from what I've seen because I've. The only times I've ever actually been is when people are like, yeah, you gotta. You don't have TSA pre check.

[B]

Remember when we were in Orlando? Orlando was really bad.

[C]

Yeah. Jfk. I mean, really, any airport without the Sky Pro priority line. You need. You need TSA Precheck.

[B]

Clear helped me massively recently.

[C]

It helped me when we were in Orlando. I probably would have missed that flight.

[B]

Yeah, it can be a very big line jumper.

[C]

That's one of those ones. Like the Orlando airport pulling up to that was one of those ones. Being like, I never even considered stepping in that main line. I was like, surely there's someone I could like, pay to get through faster than this. It was the most people I've ever seen standing in a line.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I mean, thousands of people.

[B]

It was crazy.

[A]

Did you guys hear the story that Ryan Whitney told on Spit Chiclets about getting to the, like, getting there late for a flight? And so he like went to the front of the line and basically was like, cut the entire line and told everybody, I'm going to miss my flight if you guys don't let me through. And so they let him through and then he got there and there was like 12 minutes left. And he was like, oh, I. I have time to go to the Delta Lounge.

[B]

That's bad.

[C]

Whitney did that after. He was just talking about Miny's playing etiquette too. That's all time bad.

[B]

I don't mind that. Oh, it's not. He was operating under.

[C]

I love Whitney. That's a Massachusetts guy. Yeah, that's one of my. I'm a big fan, but you can't if you're. Look, if you're going to miss your flight, you're going to miss your.

[B]

Your flight.

[C]

It's no one else's problem. I'm a firm believer. Oh, you're saying you can't cut the line like that?

[B]

What?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You don't make an allowance for someone

[A]

who

[B]

if someone comes up to me and I'm in line and they're like, My flight's in 10 minutes. Do you mind if I go in front? I say, absolutely, yeah.

[C]

I don't.

[B]

You don't?

[C]

No. I say, I'm going to miss my flight too, so go fuck yourself. No, I had it happen where I was at the airport. It was a small airport and there was a bunch of people that were on this one flight. They're all late. All of them are late. I'm late. I'm going to miss my flight.

[B]

No.

[C]

Yes. No. I swear to God, I'll tell you exactly how this went down.

[B]

I.

[C]

They. I'm going to miss my flight. And I'm like. But I'm right on time, you know, like. Like, I'm like, okay, I'm probably going to make it, but if 15 people cut in front of me, I'm not going to make it. So I put a stop to it. They're barreling through. And the thing is, everyone wants. No one is okay with. With this. People are not going to tell you they're not okay with it, but no one is okay with this. Even if you're not going to miss your flight, you're not okay with this. So they're barreling through and I just stopped him, the dude that was leading the charge. And I said, I'm going to me and everyone around me. We're all going to miss our flights if you guys all cut in front of us. And he was like, but my gates right there, bro. And I was like, so is mine. And then they all moved back.

[A]

Did they go all the way to the back or did they just get right behind you?

[C]

They were right behind me directly.

[A]

So the person got most was the person who was right behind you?

[C]

Pretty much, yeah. They got a good 15 person gap in between.

[B]

Yeah. But then they should have been like, I too am Spartacus.

[A]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

My gate also is right.

[C]

If it's one guy, I'm not going to make a fuss about it. If it's one dude who's like, yo, I'm going to miss my flight. And I'm like, not in a rush.

[A]

Well, 15 of them, their pl. Their plane's not taken off without all 15 from the other. Like the, the they could. They communicate with each other so they know that there's another.

[B]

I also just don't necessarily feel when someone is late that it's their. Their fault. I'm able to know that, you know, first, some people. Who knows.

[C]

Who knows why all I'LL say in my. I get what you're saying. All I'll say is I've missed a lot of flights and I've almost missed way more. And I've never once asked if I could cut someone in line.

[B]

I have never once in my entire life missed a full flight. If that wasn't because of, like, a connection problem.

[A]

Yeah, it's never been your fault.

[B]

I've never. I've never missed a flight in my life that was my fault. Yeah. Ever.

[C]

But I've, like, I've gotten to the airport and been like, I'm fucked. There's nothing I can do about that. I'm not going to make it. Everyone else's problem.

[B]

When you get to the airport and there's a chance for you to make your flight, if you were to go to the front of the line, you won't do it.

[C]

No. That's how I've missed all of my flights.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

I'm always there. Like, I'm always g. Like, I've obviously, I've missed flights by like, okay, clearly I'm not going to make this move. The flight.

[B]

I mean, the closest I've ever been to missing a flight was with you.

[C]

Yeah, but, like, I've had, like, probably, like, four of those, like, close calls

[B]

and you just won't.

[C]

The one that I just missed that I caused the big scene about with the one I threw up or. No, the one where I got into it with the lady and I've tried to bring it to the, to the Department of Transportation. I, like, filed a complaint with them. That one, I could have, I would have easily made that flight. If I come.

[B]

Bro, you are a terrible traveler.

[C]

No, that's just that, that, that is. No, that's crazy.

[B]

You're terrible traveling. No, I think you shouldn't have this many problems.

[C]

No, I don't have a problem. I'm just saying I, I, I'm never gonna be to the family standing in front of me being like, guys, I'm in a pinch. Help me out.

[B]

I think, think that humanity allows for that. I really do.

[C]

Humanity.

[B]

And by the way, the way that that happens is that you then reciprocate. You pay it forward, Haley Joel.

[C]

All I'm going to say. And I, and again, I'm not trying to blow up Whitney spot because I do like him a lot. I think he's a great guy. He didn't even have to do it. He didn't know that.

[B]

He didn't.

[C]

That's how I know he's doing that. He Might be doing that every time. He might just walk to the front of the line. He might never wait in line.

[B]

It sounds to me, it sounds to me like, like he didn't know that he didn't need to do it.

[A]

Or, or maybe there's a truth where it's like he had to cut the line and he wouldn't have made it because it's a 30 minute line and he had 12 minutes to spare. So it's not like you can cut to 18 minutes ahead in line.

[B]

Right. And by the way, the right way to do this is that you go to one of the agents and you say, this is my situation. What do you suggest? And if they bring you to the front, then it's not on you, I think. And then at that time, you do thank all the people that, and you say, I'm so sorry. Sorry. Like, you know, I got into a 14 car accident on the way here.

[C]

Like if that happened, I would do it. Like if I was in a, if I was in a, a massive car accident or something like that. But I think a lot of the people, it's just, they just overslept.

[B]

So you really do need you. Wow, this is amazing.

[C]

No, I just think it's kind of, I think it's pretty ridiculous to cut the line.

[B]

Listen, I, I, I totally get there's like a righteousness to your position that I admire.

[C]

I think it's just, I think most,

[B]

it might just be.

[C]

You've never done it.

[B]

You are consist. Think that's totally fair.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

But I'm, I do think it's crazy. I think you should allow yourself, if you get to the airport and you can make your gate, you should allow yourself the humanity of asking for a favor from your fellow travelers and knowing that you will then repay that favor.

[C]

Yeah, but I already know, like, I'm running, I'm running too hot at that point. Like, I'm at the airport and my flight's taking off in 10 minutes. If I ask someone if I can cut them and they say, say no, then you're gonna, I'm gonna break down. What do you mean no?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Gonna cry.

[C]

You can't do this to me.

[B]

It does require a little bit.

[A]

I'm gonna lose my job.

[C]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He said that to a gate agent.

[C]

I told the gate agent I was gonna lose my job.

[B]

Was that your flight to Toronto?

[C]

No, it was to Chicago.

[B]

I'm telling you, I've heard all of these stories and this is why I say you're a bad traveler.

[C]

Yeah. I'm not a great traveler. But again, well, you.

[B]

You now you admit it.

[C]

You just.

[B]

Second ago you were like. No, you were very obstinate.

[C]

But I think I also allow myself to not be a great traveler. Cuz I'm like, I've. I know that like missing a flight at the end of the day is not the biggest deal in the world. Unless it's like a flight that you got to make.

[B]

Dude, there are times where we have to make flights.

[C]

Yeah. And I don't usually miss those.

[B]

I missed that. I didn't even miss it. My flight to Dallas was so delayed that I had to push my Friday early show to Sunday. I lost thousands of dollars because. Because of that.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And I was on the plane.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean that. That sucks. There's an actual dollar amount you see slipping away.

[C]

Yeah. I think I've never missed a flight that was like important enough that I had to like the flights that I have to make, I'm usually there.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Like, if it's one where it's like I'm. If I miss this flight, I'm there.

[B]

I'm still enjoying talking to you guys, but I know we've been. This is probably. I could sense. No, that's okay.

[A]

I'm getting.

[B]

This must be like a two hour episode at this point.

[C]

I'm pretty hot, like physically warm.

[A]

Oh, got it. I thought that you're running hot about these, about getting called out.

[B]

Good, good talk. That was fun, guys. I enjoyed that. Yeah. Every time I thought the episode was over, we'd find some.

[C]

We should have just started with that plane talk. I was just getting going.

[A]

Just save it. I mean, on Monday next week, people can come in for some fresh. All right.