Clam Lipper | Son of a Boy Dad #325

Summary

Son of a Boy Dad #325: "Clam Lipper" (Aug 12, 2025)

Main Theme / Purpose

In this episode, Lil Sasquatch (Harry), Francis Ellis, and Nate gather for a classic Son of a Boy Dad catch-up. The conversation weaves between tales of adulthood, personal mishaps, fishing adventures, health scares, and a deep (and often hilarious) analysis of Barstool’s new reality show "Beach House." The tone is loose, irreverent, and marked by the tangents that make the pod a cult favorite—anchoring on the fun and chaos of navigating early adulthood, friendships, and careers in the Barstool universe.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Life Updates, Corn, and Crime (01:57–08:58)

• The hosts open by sharing minor life updates—most notably, a semi-serious debate about corn (“Jersey is the corn capital of America”—Francis, 02:21) and a graphic recounting of the realities of eating it.
• Francis reveals his car was broken into near Harry’s neighborhood.
  • Francis' reactions are more entertained than angry; he jokes about going to the police station:

    “It’s like going into the Genius Bar at Apple.” (Francis, 05:09)

  • The thieves stole about $74 but left valuable things (golf clubs, AirPods), which leads the guys to comedically speculate about targeted attacks and the ability of criminals to appraise value.
  • Notable on how break-ins have become “basically legal” in New York, and how filing a police report is now a bureaucratic requirement for insurance, not justice.

2. Fishing Deep Dive: Gear, Culture, and Rivalries (18:41–45:00)

• Francis details going fly fishing for the first time, narrating his process of overbuying gear with a level of comic self-awareness:
  • “I bought clippers with the retractable reel, which was definitely the right move.” (Francis, 20:16)
  • Harry and Nate roast him for being 'overgeared' for his actual skill.
• With Harry as the fishing pro, the two discuss fly types, gear (vest vs. chest pack), and the nuances of 'presentation' in trout fishing.
• Francis' encounter with a so-called “merchant marine” who quietly helped with technique—a classic teaching-moment-as-masculinity bit.
• The guys propose a future fishing competition, debating how skill is measured: number of fish vs. size (“Combine score, like most caught and biggest one” —Francis, 28:31).
• Francis on solo fishing:

  “It’s just the sound of the river… Me just floating, finding new honey holes, cast, let the streamer float, jerk it a couple times, of course.” (Francis, 40:06)

• Friendly bravado about whose gear is better and whether mastering trout fishing entitles bragging rights.

3. Medical Misadventures & Health Scares (44:00–61:15)

• Harry reveals he has an ulcer:
  • Discusses symptoms, diagnostic process (novel breath-bag test), and the straightforward prescription for antacids.
  • Shares self-deprecating jokes about his diet being the cause (“pouring sweet tarts and gummy worms on nothing” — Nate, 44:30).
• Conversation pivots to long-term health and life expectancy:
  • “I got my blood work back. I’m healthy as.” (Harry, 51:05)
  • The guys riff on dodging questions about drinking with doctors (“None, actually. I don’t drink. Thanks for assuming.”—Harry, 51:47)
• Francis shares a harrowing story about being (mis)diagnosed with throat cancer during Barstool Idol week:
  • Details the breakdown in lab procedures and a week-long emotional rollercoaster, only for results to later reveal a sample mixup.
  • The hosts marvel at the dark humor of the Barstool audience, who immediately accused Francis of faking cancer for sympathy.

    “It’s a funnier story that I faked cancer… but unfortunately, I wasn’t lying.” (Francis, 60:19)

  • Reflects on how fact sometimes can’t compete with the more lurid narrative.

4. Barstool Beach House Reality Show Breakdown (63:02–77:11)

• The group breaks down the drama, anxiety, and secondhand cringe of participating in Barstool’s new “Beach House” social experiment.
• Harry abstains ("People have been tweeting at me to join—are you out of your mind?”—66:06).
• Roasts specific cast dynamics (Nikki Smokes, Brianna, Jackie), the anxieties of constant filming, and the self-absorbed cycles induced by instant internet feedback.
• Discussion on how different the experience is versus, say, Case Race: “If we were that drunk and also out in public… it would be…”—67:16
• Francis frames the show as the purest form of reality TV, driven by romance, cringe, and social risk, “Romance is always the heartbeat of reality TV and the consequences of it.”—68:08
• General consensus: Reality TV is a societal crucible for collective gossip, and they feel lucky to merely watch, not participate.

5. Gaming Content, Naming Fiascos, and Saudi Tangents (77:11–91:55)

• Harry updates on their gaming project’s viral success (T Warlords/Bush), discussing pros/cons of various names, how ChatGPT assisted (“Having a ChatGPT-ass name actually sucks now.”—Nate, 79:25), and plans to revert to “Bush.”
• Diversions about Saudi influence in esports; Francis riffs about being invited to Dubai by a prince, leading to jokes about “falconry” as the richest possible hobby.
• They touch on the absurdities of Saudi modernity and megaprojects, including the mirrored city project (“The Line”), and the kingdom’s strong-arming into global sports and entertainment.
• Light, satirical debate on the moral questions surrounding American comedians accepting Saudi “blood money” for a new comedy festival:
  • “I like that no one has to pretend that there’s some white knight situation. No one has to have any ethics. It’s awesome.” (Francis, 91:31)
• Nate recalls a bizarre web of financial and political connections between Saudi elites, Epstein, Maxwell, with Harry on the research beat:

  “But we’re still trying to get to Saudi, guys.”—Harry, 89:33

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Car Break-ins

• Francis (about NYC police): “I fucking love going into police precincts. It’s like going into the Genius Bar.” (05:04)
• Harry (on the crime): “They took my house keys. That really pissed me off. That’s such a difficult… I have so many keys.” (08:27)

On Fly Fishing

• Harry: “I don’t really need the best gear. It’s all about the angler… Angling is something I don't even feel competitiveness for, because I've mastered it.” (27:41)
• Francis: “If I beat you in fishing, you don't have anything left. That’s it.” (30:53)
• Harry: “There's no beating somebody in fishing though… I'm about spreading the joy. I love the sport.” (31:00)
• Nate (re: fishing gear): “You don't need more than five [rods]… you can service all your needs with five.” (37:44)

On Health & Doctors

• Harry: “Turns out there’s a hole in it. I have an ulcer.” (44:00)
• Nate: “You’ve been pouring sweet tarts and gummy worms and Swedish fish on top of nothing and it’s just burning a hole in the side of it…” (44:27)
• Francis: “The only time I've ever had the actual doctor call me was… to tell me to come in immediately to tell me I had cancer. Turned out it was a mixup…” (53:12)
• Francis: “It's a funnier story that I faked cancer… but unfortunately, I wasn't lying.” (60:19)

On Beach House Reality TV

• Nate (describing Beach House): “That walking into the house was like some fresh hell. Everybody has a light veneer of either coming into or going out of drunkness.” (64:29)
• Francis: “Romance is always the heartbeat of reality tv. And the consequences of it, that's what drives all those Bravo shows.” (68:08)
• Harry: “I don't take any of that serious… It's an insane position that pretty much no one has ever been put in.” (76:36)

Miscellaneous

• Francis (on Saudi money): “I like that this is a field where no one has to pretend that there’s some fucking white knight, you know, situation. I like that.” (91:18)
• Nate (on moral ambiguity): “No one has to have any ethics. It’s awesome.” (91:29)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Corn & Car Break-in Stories: 01:57–08:58
• Police Precinct Bits: 05:04–07:55
• Fishing Gear, Fly Fishing Rivalry: 18:41–46:00
• Francis' Cancer Scare Story: 53:12–61:15
• Barstool Beach House Reality TV Analysis: 63:02–77:11
• Gaming Content Build, Saudi Tangents, Esports: 77:11–91:55

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Episode Flow & Tone

The episode is classic "Son of a Boy Dad": meandering, slightly chaotic, deeply funny, and defined by its hosts’ ability to blend seriousness and satire. Conversations roll from gross-out specifics (corn in, corn out) to real issues like crime, growing up, health anxieties, and public vulnerability. The fishing segment serves as both a stand-in for the performance of masculinity and a place for some genuinely solid how-to (and how-to-roast) content. The Beach House discussion highlights their self-awareness and comedy instincts—identifying the inherent psychological toll of public-facing, booze-infused, reality TV antics. The Saudi content brings a blend of wide-eyed intrigue, skepticism, and characteristic irreverence that ties the show's tone-to-life at Barstool.

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For New Listeners:

This episode is a quintessential hang with the Son of a Boy Dad crew—rooted in reality but always willing to push the absurd to its limits. If you’re looking for a mix of storytelling, banter, and irreverent but sharp social commentary, this is a great entry point.

Transcript

[Nate]

Hey, son of a boy. Dad. Listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.

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[Francis Ellis]

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[Francis Ellis]

There we go.

[Harry]

Now it's focused.

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[Harry]

All righty. Welcome back to the Son of a Boy dad podcast. Today it is August 11th, 2025. What's up, fellas?

[Francis Ellis]

How we doing Up.

[Harry]

Eating some corn on the cob.

[Nate]

I just grilled some corn, so it's so good. I wasn't a corn eater until like six weeks ago and now I love it.

[Francis Ellis]

Jersey is known for its corn. Jersey is the corn capital of America.

[Harry]

I've been hammering corn myself.

[Francis Ellis]

I wonder how Iowa feels about the fact that Jersey is better known for its corn.

[Harry]

I don't know, but have you ever noticed that corn when You. It's just the full pieces of corn.

[Francis Ellis]

Well, that's because you're not chewing it enough, dude. I don't know.

[Harry]

I'm chewing it pretty aggressively. You take a. And it's like a corn on the cob just slipped out of your ass.

[Francis Ellis]

I made a. I made a corn.

[Harry]

Salad, so I rubbed peanut butter in between the cracks.

[Francis Ellis]

What? We're.

[Nate]

We're losing viewers fast. As you describe your. Your reformed corn, your body recreates you.

[Harry]

I don't think I'm alone here. There's more of us than you'd think.

[Francis Ellis]

I went born on the off the cob. Sliced, diced red onion, some halved, beautiful cherry tomatoes, Some I think I went. Basil, a little bit of red wine vinegar, lemon juice. And mix all that up. There's your corn salt. You don't have to cook any of it. It's great.

[Harry]

That's corn salsa.

[Francis Ellis]

Corn salad.

[Harry]

Corn salad. Delish. Delish.

[Nate]

No cheese.

[Francis Ellis]

You could do cheese. Some people do some feta, but I don't know. I don't want that. This is. I don't like. I don't like cheese that much. I'm not a big cheese guy.

[Harry]

Spider on my monitor.

[Nate]

Live.

[Harry]

Yep. Dead now.

[Nate]

You just killed it with your thumb.

[Harry]

I killed it with my finger. I flicked it, and it exploded on impact.

[Nate]

There's no way you're that strong.

[Harry]

I am. Francis, did your car get broken into today?

[Francis Ellis]

Sure did, pal.

[Harry]

That's what I'm hearing.

[Francis Ellis]

Not too far from where you live.

[Harry]

Well, I don't have a car, so.

[Nate]

Yeah. That's not what he said.

[Harry]

Well, I meant. He meant, like, you know, watch out. You know.

[Francis Ellis]

What? Did you hear that I said just like a.

[Harry]

You know, like, keep your eye out, watch out, stay safe.

[Francis Ellis]

Did you think that I said my car looks exactly like your car?

[Harry]

I thought you meant just like, you know, there's a guy on the loose that's just cracking glass.

[Francis Ellis]

I think I meant there's crime nearby.

[Harry]

There's a decent amount of crime in this area.

[Francis Ellis]

I went into the lease precinct for your neighborhood. Sixth precinct. Doc, can I say the whitest thing I've ever said on the podcast?

[Harry]

Great group of guys over there.

[Francis Ellis]

I fucking love going into police precincts. I love it.

[Harry]

I don't think I've ever been.

[Francis Ellis]

It is awesome. You wander right in. It's like going into the Genius bar at Apple. Hello, Yes, I have a problem. Can you solve it? And they're like, what seems to be the issue, sir? You know, it's great.

[Nate]

And you're always going in the front door, too. Like, it's different than when you have to go in through, like, the loading dock. That's a nasty way to go in.

[Francis Ellis]

I'm pretty sure I could walk into the 6th Precinct of New York City with an AR15 around my shoulder, and they'd be like, is your gun malfunctioning? What's the issue?

[Nate]

Your brother's hiring.

[Francis Ellis]

They were great. They got, you know, they got cop of the month on the wall. And then I'm talking to one person who was cop of the month, and I want to be like, hey, congrats on August.

[Harry]

Yeah, I saw your name on the wall.

[Francis Ellis]

They had all these police outfits, these uniforms from various police forces around the world, which was pretty cool.

[Nate]

It's like a museum.

[Francis Ellis]

Yes. Yeah.

[Nate]

Wow. It's nice to have the respect of a cop just being able to saunter by and have a neighborly conversation. I feel like that how it used to be when it's a guy swinging a nightstick and has a tall hat on. And now. Now it's. It's way different. For a while, it was nasty. People were getting killed, and now it's just five foot three Indian folks with baggy clothes on.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. I mean, I walked in immediately, and I was like, look, I. I just want you guys to know, I don't. I don't associate with Ellie Schnit and her defund the police rhetoric whatsoever, or up to me. If you guys. In fact, I'll tip you right now.

[Nate]

I'll fund you.

[Francis Ellis]

I brought some. I brought the last bit of cash that I had from my car. They left $8.

[Harry]

How much money was in there? I think, like 10 G's.

[Francis Ellis]

75. 75 bucks. Something north of that.

[Harry]

Ah, it's not bad.

[Francis Ellis]

It was one of the stacks of hundreds that I've won from roan.com whooping your ass and whatever various things we were doing.

[Harry]

Brutal. It's been a while. It's been a while since you've won, so I know that money was getting low.

[Nate]

Did you file a police report?

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, I did. Yeah, I did. It's fun. It's fun.

[Nate]

They are not gonna catch the guy.

[Francis Ellis]

No, they won't.

[Harry]

They won't even try.

[Francis Ellis]

I don't even want them to, dude. I. I don't want to bother them with this. I was apologetic. I was apologetic. I was like, I'm sorry. I know nothing can be done. I don't want to add more paperwork to your pile, but I'm doing this so that I can properly file my insurance claim.

[Harry]

Yeah. Yeah, that's what I was going to ask if. If you have to do it for insurance.

[Francis Ellis]

I'm. I'm pretty sure you do. I don't know.

[Harry]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[Nate]

It's basically legal to break into cars.

[Harry]

Oh, yeah. And New York's not even like, top. I mean, I think la. It's like every other car is just shattered.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

It's just. People walk down the road just.

[Francis Ellis]

Dude, they. They left my entire set of golf clubs. These people had no idea how to appraise value at all.

[Harry]

What did they take?

[Francis Ellis]

They took $74 of ones. That's a.

[Harry]

That's seven G's left.

[Francis Ellis]

$8. They left my AirPods. They left my. Oh, they took my house keys. Oh, that. I didn't find that out until I got home because they were deep in the center console thing. Man, that really pissed me off. That really pissed me off. That's such a difficult. I have so many keys.

[Harry]

Yeah, no, I mean, I would be a little bit. I would be worried about that.

[Francis Ellis]

Well, they're not going to. I live nowhere near where I parked my car and I live in a doorman building, so, you know.

[Harry]

True. But if you got the key, what's that?

[Nate]

It makes it seem. It just makes it seem more like they weren't even trying to take your valuables. It was more like a targeted attack to inconvenience you. Yeah. I think it's sometimes, like with murders where it's like 90 of the time, it's someone that, you know. I think you need to start looking into, like, your Rolodex of the people who you've wronged, crossed, have beef with. I think that you. The other guy on this call, I think is. Has to be one of the suspects.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, I mean, you know, I sat down in the car and immediately realized they had adjusted the steering wheel height and moved my rear view mirrors to the wrong angle that I don't. Like.

[Harry]

They were just trying to get from. Like, what if it was. What if it was a cop? You ever see that when the cops have to break into, like, a civilian car to. To continue the chase?

[Francis Ellis]

Well, I didn't have a daughter in there and it wasn't hot, so. No, no.

[Harry]

I mean, like, you ever see, like, when they get caught in traffic and then they just go up to someone, they throw them out of the car and like, this is like, this is a cop car now.

[Nate]

I think you're thinking of gta.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Harry]

You're taking a GTA it's very easy in gta. Triangle, one button.

[Nate]

That's so simple.

[Francis Ellis]

The. I think that what happened was there was a guy.

[Harry]

I think.

[Francis Ellis]

I hate to sound so obvious, but I'm pretty confident this was drug related because first of all, the street I was parked on, I've seen lots of drug activity.

[Harry]

My street.

[Francis Ellis]

No, I wasn't. I wasn't parked on your. You imagine?

[Harry]

I wouldn't be surprised at all.

[Francis Ellis]

Be an actual problem.

[Nate]

We've seen drug activity on your street. We saw.

[Harry]

We saw smoking crack.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

No, it was. But there is needles. I've seen people injecting on this street. And anyway, what's that place to park?

[Nate]

Skid row.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. So I think that what happened is that in the middle of the night they smashed the window in and then they leaned through the broken window and were ripping around in the car to try to find stuff. And then someone came up behind them and was like, hey, hi.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

And they just grabbed the cash and ran out. I don't think they had a ton of time to go through and be like, oh my God. A Qi 35 tailor made driver with a Torah D shaft. This can go for like 900 bucks on eBay. Surely I should take that. Are these blades these 7? The hybrid set was 7 90s towards the lower end of the bag.

[Nate]

But they also could have been like, we're pinnacle men. They probably like the clubs and possibility mid size.

[Francis Ellis]

For me, I've got small hands. Surely I can't play with these.

[Nate]

I'm lefty. It's not going to do anything for.

[Harry]

Going to cost way more than 75 bucks to get these things regripped. And that's all the money I have as of right now.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Nate]

Was there any chance that you were by like a fire hydrant? Have you ever seen that when people park fire hydrant and they have to come through, smash the window to get the hose through the window?

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, No, I was very careful not to park in front of a fire hydrant. I have too much respect for the FDNY guys, which they.

[Harry]

They absolutely do not have to do that.

[Francis Ellis]

Put it through the front window.

[Harry]

Yeah. Like there's like. Well, it would. It would take away like three inches of the. Of the hose if you just went over the car.

[Francis Ellis]

I like it. It's petty. It's good.

[Nate]

I've seen the. I've seen FDNY like smash 3 cars down the block and snake the fire hose through all of them just to take up as much real estate as possible. Absolute scumbags. Over there at fdny Scum city. No one hates fdny. But I also don't know if people love FDNY the way they love NYPD and police in general. I mean, I'm down here at the Shore, and the amount of back the blue flags and bumper stickers that I see is insane. But there's no back the red. There's a. Like, I know it exists, but there's no sentiment of that down here that people. I guess it's just a signifier of, like, I'm Republican or. Why do people wear like. Like, there's like, kids. There's like 18 year olds with back the blue stickers on their. On their Jeep Wranglers. It doesn't.

[Harry]

I think, back the blue. I think they get back the blue so that if they get pulled over, that's. I know that's a big thing. I mean, at least in Massachusetts, like, it's like everyone has a back the blue, like, license plate. And then you just think a cop.

[Nate]

They used to have those FOP stickers or medallions, the friend of police medallions. But then there was a documentary on it that was basically like, that doesn't do anything. It's not a get out of jail free card. And the company that's doing it is like taking 999 for every $10 spent and putting it in their pockets and giving like a cent to the cops.

[Harry]

That's genius.

[Nate]

Yeah, we should do something like.

[Harry]

We got to get something like that going. Son of a boy. Dad black. The blue merch. I will bumper stickers.

[Francis Ellis]

The one thing I was really glad they didn't take was they. I have a coin from my buddy who's in the Marine Corps and he's a fighter pilot, and he gave as a gift, he gave me one of his coins, and only he can get those. Those are pretty much irreplaceable for anyone but him. And it has become my favorite ball mark in golf. So for big tournaments, I use that to mark my ball. And I was very.

[Nate]

Those boys love to give out coins. Those service. Those service guys. I was like this. I was in D.C. one time, the Secret Service came up to me. They were blocking the road so Biden could go by, and one of the Secret Service guys came up and gave me a coin. And I've been jazzed about it since then. Like, I've always been excited whenever I. I've gotten one of these coins, but they are kind of just like unloading garbage on you, really.

[Francis Ellis]

Damn.

[Harry]

You know who Hates coins is the homeless. That's probably why they left it.

[Francis Ellis]

They left it.

[Harry]

They didn't take coin.

[Francis Ellis]

They didn't take my. I had snacks in there. I had some pistachios, my Nutella biscuits. They didn't take any of that stuff.

[Nate]

This makes me think it was not a homeless person. This makes me think that this is targeted and like there's too many valuables left behind. This is a homeless person's dream. They could have set up a new life in your car if they had really wanted all that stuff. Like they're. They are not a stupid bunch.

[Francis Ellis]

Well, my golf clubs were in my travel bag, which was like half in the trunk. And then I had the back seat pushed down with half of it coming out. So probably wasn't obvious necessarily that those were golf clubs. And then I had fake Hermes sandals that are very good fakes. And I don't think that this person would have been like, those are definitely fakes. But those would have been the next most expensive thing to take.

[Harry]

Were they. They were slapping the soul. See how you're getting.

[Nate]

That sounds like watermelon there.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. He lifted them up and smelled them and he's like, where'd you get these?

[Harry]

The stitching on the toe is all. See how it's double stitched there? That's immediately where they're noticing signs of this. Clear noticing inconsistencies.

[Nate]

I could give you $60 store credit. Best I could do.

[Harry]

That's probably the best I'm going to be able to get you, though. And it's like. It's like an eight year old who spent $9,000 on the shoes.

[Francis Ellis]

It comes out with the coin and he's like, you want to do 60 or 90?

[Harry]

That would be a. That would be a great move.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

He broke into your car and then you get back and he's selling you back all the. I could fix that window up too. How does that sound?

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, 100 bucks.

[Nate]

Why do. Why do all of us. None of us are really in sneaker culture like that, but all of us have seen those videos and know the like flip for it. And then whenever I see them, I'll stop and watch a couple to see if there's any new interactions or conflicts between the people who are. Are rebuying the shoes. Why does that appeal to all of us?

[Harry]

I just like watching them because the they. I don't know, they're entertaining, I guess, but it's also like, I don't know anything about shoes. So every time I watch it, I'm like, oh, interesting. Now I know if it sounds like a watermelon, it's fake. I didn't know anything could sound like a watermelon, but.

[Nate]

Can you sass. Can you sit back a little bit like you were just a second ago?

[Harry]

Like that?

[Nate]

Yeah. When you sit back and you're, like, completely in the shadows like that, you look like a wife who's crazy, caught her husband cheating, and it's just, like, waiting at home for him to get home with, like, a glass of red wine.

[Harry]

Yeah, I really don't have a great angle here.

[Francis Ellis]

It's.

[Harry]

The lighting is kind of me.

[Nate]

Hey, Barry. Where have you been?

[Harry]

I'm gonna get. I'll get some new shades.

[Nate]

You need a ring lighting, like. Like Hoopify.

[Harry]

Yeah, I know.

[Francis Ellis]

Oh, that. So that was a big thing, but I had a pretty big weekend. Rowan, you'll love this. I.

[Nate]

Talk to me.

[Francis Ellis]

I went fly fishing, and I finally kitted out my patron rod, and, you know, I bought some. Some leaders and some streamers and some.

[Harry]

You have your. With you right now.

[Francis Ellis]

Woolly buggers and a bunch of nymphs. Because they were biting. That was the thought was that the smallmouth were biting on. On nymphs, especially the white ones.

[Harry]

And there's no such thing as. There's a will.

[Francis Ellis]

What's that?

[Harry]

I don't even know what you're talking about.

[Francis Ellis]

No, I'm not. I'm talking to Roan.

[Harry]

Well, I. I don't even. I gave Francis all of the intel on what he has to buy.

[Francis Ellis]

Not really. I called him. He wouldn't pick up. He was getting called Francis, and he. I called him again, and he goes, can't. He goes, what's up?

[Harry]

Standard response.

[Nate]

What were you doing?

[Francis Ellis]

What's up? What do you need? And then I sent him a picture of me wearing my brand new fish pond chest pack, which is a waterproof zipper and is perfect, you know, for my forceps and my clippers. And, I mean, look, a lot of people will be like, why aren't you wearing a vest? I'm like, well, vests are out. You know, you go chest pack now or. I bought myself plus pack, aluminum reel. I bought an aluminum reel.

[Harry]

He was getting Ron. He was getting fleeced like you couldn't even imagine. And I had.

[Nate]

How much did you drop?

[Harry]

I had to step in and be like. Like, you don't need most of this.

[Francis Ellis]

I bought clippers with the retractable reel, which was definitely the right move.

[Nate]

You know, this sounds like two. Two grand worth of.

[Francis Ellis]

Hold on. What Else did I get here? Oh, for leaders, I went with Power Flex plus 6 pound 5x. That's the high per. Oh, that was the high performance tippet. And then I also.

[Harry]

What brand was that?

[Francis Ellis]

Not. Oh, I also got some Crystal river knotless tapered leader.

[Harry]

What was the first, what was the brand of the first one?

[Francis Ellis]

Rio products. Power Solid.

[Harry]

Real solid.

[Francis Ellis]

Rio's great.

[Harry]

The best stuff is the scientific angler. The essay.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, dude, they had that, but I thought that's expensive and I didn't deserve that.

[Harry]

The scientific angler is.

[Francis Ellis]

They had, they had a lot of line from essay. They had a lot of essay line. And then of course I got myself some strike indicators, but I didn't need those because we were, you know, we're going for largemouth and we're just streaming, so.

[Harry]

Were you really going for largemouth?

[Francis Ellis]

Excuse me, Smallmouth. Small.

[Harry]

Were you really going for smallmouth?

[Francis Ellis]

Yes.

[Harry]

Nice.

[Francis Ellis]

About that, I got a bite, but I didn't, I didn't set the hook very well.

[Harry]

So setting the hook on the streamers, a little tricky. Yeah, you got to strip.

[Nate]

Lie about his essay was this barstool beach house, if you know what I mean.

[Harry]

Zing.

[Nate]

Did you, so, so you went fishing. Did you actually go or was it more of like a preparing to shop?

[Francis Ellis]

No, I went, I got floating. I got, I went with a mid price net. I didn't think I needed the carbon fiber, but I didn't go with the full cheapo either because you know, you got to handle trout properly.

[Harry]

You should have gone. You should, you shouldn't spend more than $30 on a net.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, exactly.

[Harry]

How much did you spend?

[Francis Ellis]

40. Come on.

[Harry]

That's a handful of flies that you could have been buying.

[Francis Ellis]

Well, I got a ton of flies.

[Harry]

You get any chubbies?

[Francis Ellis]

I got woolly buggers, I got nymphs. You know, you got, you told me what to get. I got a whole bunch of that stuff.

[Harry]

I did.

[Francis Ellis]

And then I got the weights, but we didn't put weights on because the streamers say a little bit anywhere. Yeah, it's also hard. I went to the river and I bought my, I bought my license for the rest of the season and I went out and then immediately realized I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing. And a guy, fortunately was there, this dude, I think his name was Dave and he's a merchant marine and he lives near there. And he was coming to the river. Guess what he was doing at the river? What do you guys think he was doing at the river?

[Nate]

Chopping Up. Chopping up dead body maybe like scattering fingers. Charred remains maybe.

[Harry]

Is he looking at the bugs?

[Francis Ellis]

No, you're trying. You're saying he's trying to match the hatch.

[Harry]

Match the hatch.

[Francis Ellis]

No, he wasn't trying to match the hatch. He was. He had brought a book and a beer and he waded out into the middle of the river, found a rock that was, you know, out of the water and then used that as a backrest and kept his beer on the rock and red under with his body in the water with the river flowing around him.

[Harry]

Sounds performative.

[Francis Ellis]

No.

[Nate]

Yeah. He was so glad someone saw him. He was probably like, oh, oh, there's a person here. Let me go. Let me go do my performance in.

[Harry]

There all day, wait for someone to show up.

[Francis Ellis]

Harry, that's too cynical.

[Harry]

He was waiting for somebody to show up.

[Francis Ellis]

This is what he does. And I'm, you know, I don't know what the I'm doing. I'm like, hey, man, do you have any idea how to tie flies? And he's like, yeah, tie flies or.

[Harry]

Tie on a fly.

[Francis Ellis]

Tie on a fly. So he set me up and then saw that I, you know, didn't really know what I was doing. And he kind of pointed me to the right spot in the river and. And then even gave me like a casting lesson. So he took your man card. What's that?

[Harry]

Sounds like he took your man card, Harry.

[Francis Ellis]

I give it. I give it three weeks before I'm beating you at fly fish.

[Harry]

Yeah, just. It'll never.

[Francis Ellis]

You must be too much.

[Harry]

Too many hours. Too many hours on the water, brother.

[Francis Ellis]

You must can't teach that quaking in your waiters right now by the fact that I am now kitted out and committed.

[Harry]

I'm not worried at all, Ron.

[Francis Ellis]

I give it three weeks. You can schedule the rhone.com Francis versus Harry fly fish off for whenever we think you know.

[Harry]

Oh, I got a good book. I could lend you this book, Francis.

[Nate]

To go read in the river as you sit down. I. I was trying to look this up as you're talking. What's the idiom for someone who has all the best gear to some for something but is like. Is still a novice, a poser. It has to be.

[Harry]

You gotta read this great book. Great book.

[Nate]

I'll read that shiny ass book.

[Francis Ellis]

That's Rosenbauer.

[Harry]

That's Rosenbauer.

[Francis Ellis]

First edition. That's the. Oh yeah. Okay.

[Harry]

I know that this is the next level, brother. This is really.

[Nate]

I know you'll actually read it, Francis. I sass there's no way you crack that.

[Harry]

Oh, this is like how I learned how to fly fish.

[Nate]

Let's see the spine. Let's see if there's any perforation.

[Harry]

It's got great explanations like this. This actually this specific graphic taught me most of the stuff that I know.

[Francis Ellis]

We can't see anything because it's pitch black.

[Nate]

And it's so shiny that I'm just getting an endless reflection of your screen.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, Just shows you.

[Nate]

Shiniest magazine I've ever seen in my life.

[Harry]

Well, it's like a book slash magazine.

[Francis Ellis]

From the dentist's office.

[Harry]

It's a great book. Highly recommend if you're looking to get into the sport.

[Nate]

So did this guy, did you like chop it up with this guy at all or was he just kind of like he daddied you and went back to his book?

[Harry]

He was look, smacking.

[Francis Ellis]

I didn't want to.

[Harry]

Go back to my rock.

[Francis Ellis]

I didn't want to take him away from his day, you know what I mean? But I did want a guide to come out. I do need some lessons. You know, you should just go to a park.

[Harry]

You should just go to a park or like an open place where you can cast with nothing on.

[Francis Ellis]

I'm gonna do that. But you know, listen, dude, I need the river. Okay.

[Harry]

It's so easy to learn to cast like that though.

[Francis Ellis]

By the way, I was wet waiting.

[Harry]

Oh yeah, it's the best.

[Francis Ellis]

My favorite. Dude.

[Harry]

Yeah, it's so much better than using waiters.

[Francis Ellis]

I was just floating on my back with my rod above the river. Floating down to better holes and bunny holes and stuff like that. I have videos of it. I'll send them to you. It's insane. It sounds great, but it was the best day ever. I had a fucking blast.

[Nate]

Just send a picture right now. I just want to get some eyes on, on, on what you're doing because I know that you were geared the out.

[Harry]

I didn't know you got a waterproof pack. That's pretty nice. That's good for salt water too.

[Nate]

Yeah. Are you a little bit jealous of his gear? Like do you think that he's going to use it enough or you think he's deserving of that good ass gear?

[Harry]

No, I mean I, I have similar gear so I'm not worried.

[Francis Ellis]

I bet you I'm probably close to having better gear than you though. I could get there good.

[Harry]

I don't really. I don't need the best gear. It's all about the angler and I'm.

[Francis Ellis]

Not About the wizard, it's the wand.

[Harry]

Angling is something that I don't even, really, like, feel like, a competitiveness for, because I've mastered it.

[Nate]

What. What metric do you say that you've mastered it by?

[Harry]

I've. I. I think I've mastered. I haven't actually mastered it, but I've. I've gotten pretty good at trout fishing. Like, it'. Pretty. Like, I. I know really very well what I'm doing.

[Francis Ellis]

But.

[Nate]

So how do we.

[Harry]

It's very rare that I get to the river and I'm not catching a fish.

[Francis Ellis]

You said that about video games, too, though, and we learned that you weren't good at them.

[Harry]

I'm phenomenal at video games.

[Nate]

How will we judge this competition? Is it just, like, how many fish or biggest fish of the day or what's the best way to do this?

[Harry]

I don't know. I don't.

[Francis Ellis]

We could go. We could go combine score, so something like, you know, whoever catches largest fish, and then whoever catches the most fish. So almost like. Yeah. Combine that score somehow. Equally weighted, maybe.

[Harry]

Yeah. I mean, most fish is like, whatever, because I could catch a ton of tiny fish. Like, if you throw a nymph on and you know where. You know what you're doing and there's fish in the river, you're gonna catch fish.

[Nate]

Yeah, but it's like a Quidditch match. Like, if you get. You get enough quaffles in there, you don't have to worry about getting the snitch.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. Harry's gonna score five goals, and then I'm gonna catch the snitch.

[Harry]

Yeah, but see, you don't like the.

[Nate]

The.

[Harry]

Those five little fish don't really do anything for you. You want the big boy.

[Francis Ellis]

That's what I'm saying. That's what we're.

[Harry]

But catching the big boys, like, you're not guaranteed that ever. Like, that could take weeks.

[Francis Ellis]

If I catch the big boy and you don't, that makes me a better fisherman.

[Harry]

But what I'm saying is, for like, a video, the odds that we go out there and one of us nails, like, lands like a 20 plus inch trout is, like, very, very low.

[Francis Ellis]

I'm willing to take. Take the chance.

[Nate]

All right, what about honey holes? Like, is. Are you guys finding your own spot or are you both going to the same spot?

[Francis Ellis]

Same spot.

[Harry]

Come again? You're not coming to my honeyhole.

[Francis Ellis]

We're gonna send ourselves. We're gonna go to the same river. Oh.

[Harry]

For the competition, we're not going to.

[Francis Ellis]

Have you go to Montana. And me fish.

[Harry]

Well, obviously not. I'm not going to Montana. But I got. I got my holes around the city. Yeah, I got my spots.

[Francis Ellis]

I think we got to go to a neutral river.

[Harry]

What does that mean? The problem is we can't spend a.

[Francis Ellis]

Place neither of us has been before.

[Harry]

We definitely can't do this until, like, the fall because the water is too hot right now.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, it is. It's.

[Nate]

It's almost the fall, first of all. And second of all, if you give Francis too much time, he's gonna be. Yeah, he's just gonna be. He's gonna be catching Goliath groupers in, like, a stream.

[Harry]

Doesn't matter. It's all about the presentation, brother. Delicate presentations.

[Francis Ellis]

You hear that, Harry? That's your fate coming for you.

[Harry]

It's all about delicate presentations.

[Francis Ellis]

Dude, if I beat you in fishing, you don't have anything left. That's it.

[Harry]

There's no beating somebody in fishing, though. Like, if you. If we go out there and you catch a bigger fish than me, I'm not gonna be, like, mad. Like, I'm all about. I'm about spreading the joy. I love the sport.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, but, dude, there are fishing competitions, and that's why, of course, there's beating you and fishing.

[Harry]

Yeah, but those fishing competitions are dumb.

[Francis Ellis]

Hear this.

[Harry]

Like, what we did in. It's like we did the smallmouth thing in Chicago. It's like they all know where the fish are. They're like, all right, if we go over to this area, there's.

[Francis Ellis]

There's.

[Harry]

And then they take, like, a telescope and look down the water, and they're like, there he is. Drop the bait.

[Francis Ellis]

That's not what we're doing. You and I are fly fishing. It's the acoustic sensory version of. Of fishing. It's the most.

[Nate]

There's no cheating.

[Harry]

It.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, it's. It's all feel. It's all soul. Knowing the river, feeling fish be the fish.

[Harry]

You're not wrong. You're not wrong.

[Nate]

It's all soul until we catch Sass slipping like, five pound weights into the gills of these little bass. Yeah, I don't know. It's huge. Why is it stitched open?

[Harry]

I went fishing. I went fishing last year at a. At a river in Pennsylvania in central PA, and I caught, like, 20 plus smallmouth in a day. They were tiny, though. They were all, like, this big.

[Nate]

What are you talking about when you keep saying it's all about delicate presentation or whatever?

[Harry]

Oh, didn't think you would ask. Delicate. You said it five times the way that trout fishing works is the trout say the stream's going down this way, right?

[Nate]

Right to lefts.

[Harry]

The trout are looking towards the direction that the water is coming down because they're eating bugs. They're eating tiny bugs called nymphs, little tiny guys. They're aquatic insects. They're underwater and they go pretty low to the surface around where the trout feed. There's also trout that if, depending on the weather and the temperature of the water and the hatch, they'll eat above the water. On top dry flies.

[Francis Ellis]

On top dry flies.

[Harry]

And the presentation, you don't even know, you don't even realize it. There's thousands of bugs just flying, millions of bugs just flying down the river. And the trout can tell. It depends on how pressured of a river you're fishing. But typically the trout can tell, like if you're, if your presentation is not accurate to what the flies look like. Like if you're, if you're drifting a dry fly with a nymph below it and you're going down the river and say your fly line is like wrapped, it's going to start going a little bit. Like, it's going to start moving in like an unnatural direction and an unnatural pace.

[Nate]

It's like bait car. It's like when you're in the hood and like you see the bait car out front of convenience store and everybody who's street smarts like, hey, why is that car running outside the convenience store? Like, that's. That doesn't make any sense.

[Harry]

Exactly, because they're also like those flies that are drifting down, like they can't control themselves, so they're just drifting with the current. So it's like if you make a sudden movement or if you're, or if your fly is drifting in a way that doesn't look like it's just moving with the current and it's a completely natural dead drift, then you're way less likely to catch fish.

[Nate]

So that's what you thought the merchant marine was doing. He was studying the bugs. So he.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, you match, you match the hatch.

[Harry]

Match the hatch?

[Nate]

Yeah, match the hatch.

[Harry]

Like you could like, like if, if you're using like a nymph, like an aquatic insect. And if you went over to like the rocks that are like, and you pick one up and you turn it around, typically there's going to be like 50 bugs just sitting on it. And you can look at those bugs and look at what is hatching and then tie on a fly that matches it.

[Francis Ellis]

Or you can even. Or you can Even hook those and cast with those.

[Harry]

Yeah, I mean, that would. I feel like that would fall. They would fall apart pretty easily.

[Francis Ellis]

Not the ones I use.

[Harry]

I mean, unless you're finding like massive stone flies. That might be tough.

[Francis Ellis]

That's exactly what I found.

[Harry]

Giant stone flies. Yeah, they got giant stone flies up there.

[Francis Ellis]

Big ones. That's where they're the biggest. Everyone knows that. That's why it's called Big Stonefly River.

[Harry]

The biggest catch, the. The one that I want to fish the most is the. Is. Is the salmon fly hatch out in Idaho. Big ass dry flies.

[Nate]

That's where we were supposed to go this year, right?

[Harry]

Oh, yeah.

[Nate]

Now I thought you were going to go to Idaho.

[Harry]

No, we were always going to. We were gonna go to Yellowstone for a minute.

[Nate]

Well, you've talked about the salmon in Idaho before.

[Harry]

The salmon hatch, brother. Not salmon.

[Nate]

I don't know what that is.

[Harry]

It's a type. It's just a big ass stone fly.

[Nate]

Yeah, so is it. But there are salmon up there. No.

[Harry]

In Idaho? I don't know. I don't think so.

[Nate]

I thought you talked about that.

[Harry]

Unless there's landlocked salmon.

[Francis Ellis]

Salmon River.

[Harry]

Harry, there is the Salmon river in Idaho.

[Nate]

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking of.

[Harry]

Yeah, but that doesn't. I don't think that has salmon in it.

[Nate]

What the fuck? Well, you sense my confusion.

[Harry]

True. Yeah.

[Nate]

So, Francis, you did this. You did this alone?

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Nate]

That's so nice. So manly.

[Francis Ellis]

I like to. When I get my mind set on something, I see it through and I said to myself, I have this beautiful rod from Billy Patron and I don't have anything on it. And I'm sick and tired of looking at it and not being able to use it. It's like looking at a guitar that has no strings on it.

[Harry]

Oh, yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

And so I said, I'm fishing today and I went to the store and the guy was kind of baffled. He was like, wow, this is a beautiful rod.

[Harry]

You brought your rod in.

[Francis Ellis]

Of course I did. Why wouldn't I have?

[Harry]

I don't know. I've never brought my rod into a flash.

[Nate]

Well, you want to show you mean business and you want to fit it right. You want to get all the right accoutrement.

[Harry]

Of course, of course.

[Nate]

Oh, I'm sorry.

[Ad Voice]

Go ahead.

[Francis Ellis]

No, you go ahead. You go ahead.

[Nate]

No, I'm just. Just on fishing. I mean, it's. It's a pertinent question. Last night I was walking my dog and I walked past someone's garage and they had like maybe 20 rods lined up inside their garage with low level lighting, like a shrine. And I didn't do people like, is that the goal? Is it to have that like a ton of rods that you could choose like from like a, A gun safe almost? Or like.

[Harry]

It's definitely baseball bats. It's definitely a little shiny, for sure.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Nate]

But it's multiple number of rods that you like, real anglers like you guys would want.

[Francis Ellis]

You don't need more than five.

[Harry]

Never enough.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, but you know, you can service all your needs with five.

[Nate]

Like these guys are. These guys are, I think going like deep sea fishing. So these were monster rods.

[Harry]

Oh, yeah. I mean, those guys also, they, when the, when they fish, they'll throw out like six lines.

[Nate]

No, got it. So they need a bunch.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Nate]

So when you're, when you're getting yours fitted in there, Francis, are, are you like, what are you asking, what are you asking to do? Are you letting them know that this is your only rod or are you like, this is my main. It's my main blade that I'm gonna.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, I told him that was my, my number one piece and your main thing. I said that was my gamer. That was my gamer. And he immediately started helping me out. And I was like, I'm going fishing today. Going today.

[Harry]

His eyes must have just perked up with money.

[Francis Ellis]

He was kind of like a Tom.

[Harry]

And Jerry cartoon character.

[Francis Ellis]

He was like, you're gonna need a lot of stuff, man.

[Harry]

And I was like, yeah, exactly.

[Francis Ellis]

No limit on my credit card. I'm trying to reach diamond status again.

[Harry]

And that's insane.

[Francis Ellis]

MQMs from card spend.

[Harry]

So you didn't get in. Super expensive reel, right? That's what you said.

[Francis Ellis]

No, I went, I went with like a 200 reel.

[Harry]

Yeah, yeah. Because I was good when I was gonna, I, I texted you that, but I said that's where they, they'll try to felice you on it.

[Francis Ellis]

No, he was cool about it. I do. I was like, dude, I want the mid level of everything. I don't want Top Dog, but I definitely. I'm gonna grow out of the inner stuff pretty quick because I'm gonna commit to this night and day.

[Harry]

Except the reels like you, really. Especially for trout fishing. Like, you don't need it. You could use anything for a reel.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, I have a great reel.

[Harry]

Like the. You're. Most of the time, you're gonna be just pulling it in with the line. Just. It's like literally just to hold the line.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, well, I got, I got good Reel. I got great line and all that stuff. I got the good stuff, so, yeah, I'm in a good spot.

[Nate]

How many hours did you spend out there? Like, what was your day like?

[Francis Ellis]

Probably like two hours in the water.

[Harry]

Not bad.

[Francis Ellis]

Not bad. And then I had to get back. There was a. A dinner thing I had to get to after. Not really. No. I'm.

[Harry]

Were you pretty locked in? Like, do you get, like, locked in when you're.

[Francis Ellis]

When you're.

[Harry]

When you're fishing?

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, dude. I mean, it's just the sound of the river, you know, Me just floating. Finding new honey holes, cast. Let the streamer float. Jerk it a couple times, of course.

[Harry]

And then you swinging. Were you swinging at all?

[Francis Ellis]

Swinging? I was plunging. I was surfing.

[Nate]

You know, swinging.

[Harry]

Swinging a streamer is actually one of the better ways to catch fish.

[Francis Ellis]

For sure. For sure. Letting it.

[Harry]

Letting it. Like casting it up the river and then letting it drift all the way down. And then retrieving it, stripping it back in.

[Francis Ellis]

Strip it. Yeah, exactly. So fast strips, too.

[Nate]

Jealous.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Get some action on there, you know, don't forget to talk to her.

[Francis Ellis]

Hairball. Do you want to come up. You want to come up to my place and we'll do like a. You know, we'll do a day, spend one night and then do the next day. And then you go home.

[Harry]

Yeah, sure. I mean, I gotta figure out if I have the time. Shit's getting really.

[Nate]

The answer is gonna be yes. The answer is yes, and the action is no. There's zero percent chance this happens. But he'll say yes now, and it'll cause some. There's some great confusion going forward.

[Francis Ellis]

What about. What about next week? I'm looking at, like, you know, come up. I can't do it next week. We.

[Harry]

Oh, I could do the week after, perhaps.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, that. Well, that's heading into.

[Harry]

Did you go to the. Did you have the Internet Invitational yet?

[Francis Ellis]

That's to. I go tomorrow.

[Harry]

Ah, okay.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, I'm thinking I'd bring my broad out there, actually.

[Harry]

Where is it?

[Francis Ellis]

Missouri, probably.

[Harry]

Just. What if you're out there.

[Nate]

Yeah. What if your golf clubs had got. Gotten stolen right before the invitational?

[Francis Ellis]

Would have been a problem. Would have been.

[Harry]

Then you'd have to start looking into, like, this could have been a targeted hit.

[Francis Ellis]

This is. Yeah.

[Harry]

You see Santino scurrying off.

[Francis Ellis]

Exactly. Exactly.

[Nate]

Nade shot darts behind a car. It feels. I mean, maybe just didn't have enough time.

[Harry]

I know. Couldn't get the clubs.

[Nate]

So what would you have done? I mean, you would have probably been in the same situation that you were in the. In the fishing store, where you just had to kind of go back to. To square one and. And you just have to spend $5,000 on golf clubs.

[Francis Ellis]

No, Taylor made. TaylorMade, hooks it up, and I would hit up my guy.

[Nate]

Taylor, could they get them to you fast enough?

[Francis Ellis]

They would have had to pretty much assemble the clubs today and then overnight them somehow. I mean, it would have been a nightmare. I don't know how they would have done it, but somehow they would have figured it out because they're fucking awesome.

[Harry]

TaylorMade works quick. I remember when we did the Ryder cup, we were. Well, we were all standing in, like, the lobby area just waiting to go out there. And one of the dudes that worked at the club went up to Dave with his clubs, and he was like. He's like. He's like, this. This set is. Is beautiful. He's like, is this a new set of clubs? And Dave was like, every time I golf, it's a new set of clubs.

[Nate]

He's like Allen Iverson with, like, white air force ones. Yeah, I wear them one time. I get rid of them. He just leaves, like, four pairs of or four sets of clubs in his hotel room every time he leaves a city.

[Harry]

Like. Like the nicest golf clubs money could buy.

[Nate]

Are people just following him around collecting the clubs?

[Harry]

Yeah, definitely. I think they'd, like. Yeah, something like that. I don't know what they do. What a massive club went to the doctor for. My stomach finally.

[Francis Ellis]

Oh.

[Harry]

Turns out there's a hole in it. I have an ulcer.

[Nate]

What?

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. Bad.

[Harry]

Mangled.

[Nate]

That's so bad. And not surprising.

[Harry]

I know, but I'm taking this medicine now, and it feels so much the Was that it feels incre. Dude, I've. I, like, I feel. I feel the best I've felt in months because I've just been, like. I've been. Every night I've been going to bed, like, I'm gonna projectile vomit.

[Nate]

Have you. Have you ever seen the clips or, like, heard stories about people who try to dissolve a body in a bathtub with acid, but the acid rips through the bathtub and the body just falls to the floor of the people?

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Nate]

Is that what happened in Breaking Bad? I never watched it, but. But I. I feel like that's exactly what you've been doing to your own stomach. You've been pouring sweet tarts and gummy worms and Swedish fish on top of, like, nothing in there, and it's just burning a hole in the side of it, like, this is. Did the doctor say that you caused this yourself?

[Francis Ellis]

No.

[Harry]

I mean, they did, like, and pretty much I went in and I was just like, I have super bad stomach problems, blah, blah, blah. I was like, everything I eat, I have a stomachache after, no matter what it is. And then I was, I said, I was like, I think it's acid reflux because I like, I've been getting insane, like acid, like waking up and like coughing. It's terrible. But anyway, the. She like made me do this thing where, well, I did like a bunch of blood work and some weird like bacteria gut test where you like blow into a bag. Have you guys ever done that?

[Nate]

No, I've never heard of that.

[Francis Ellis]

No.

[Harry]

It's like this like plastic, like juice box bag and like I had to like, drink some sour and then like wait 15 minutes and then just like blow into a bag and then they just seal the bag and like send it off to a. To like get it tested.

[Nate]

Oh, so the answers are in the bag?

[Harry]

Yeah, it's in. Like, I thought that they were like.

[Nate]

I thought that they would like, X ray you or something like that and just see a stream of like yellow Gatorade coming out of a hole in your stomach or something like that.

[Francis Ellis]

No.

[Nate]

So that means that. Well, they do like, go ahead.

[Harry]

No. What you going to say?

[Nate]

No, it just means like that your, your. Your stomach acid is making its way. Like the acid from the inside your body's making its way through your breath out. Out of your body.

[Harry]

No, no, it's not actually in my breath. They do the, they did the, the test that they do. You drink something so they can tell what bacteria is in your breath, in your, in your stomach. But the only way you ever tell that is by breathing out.

[Francis Ellis]

You guys ever see the volcano vaporizer?

[Harry]

You know, of course, like the, the old weed one.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, the thing. Yeah, I. I just bet that like when you did that test, you know, there's so much weed in your system that the doctors then passed around the back and took hits off of it.

[Nate]

You got ulcerative colitis?

[Harry]

No, but I really was like, I was telling people, I was talking like my mom before and like, I really think, like, I'm going to go in and my stomach is just like, like a plastic shopping bag that's just filled like holes every, like what you pour water in. It's just shooting out of nine different angles. But no, I'm, I'm exaggerating on like it being bad. Like it's not I'm not like, in danger or anything. It's literally like, I have to take these fucking like. It's just like prescription antacid shit. I have to take it for like a month and that'll be good.

[Francis Ellis]

Can you. What. What does that prohibit you from doing?

[Harry]

Nothing at all.

[Francis Ellis]

Okay.

[Harry]

It only has made my life better.

[Francis Ellis]

That's awesome.

[Nate]

Why did they say it happened?

[Harry]

They didn't, but, like.

[Nate]

So they made me lay up.

[Harry]

So they do, like, the blood test and then they do, like. They did the breath thing, but then I had to, like, lay down and they. Then she, like, pokes my. You know when they, like, poke your stomach, I'm like, does it hurt here? Does it hurt here? And every time you're like, no. You're like, no. It just feels like someone's poking me in the stomach.

[Nate]

Yeah. You poked me hard. And that hurts?

[Harry]

Yeah. She went like, dead. She went like, right here. I was like. She got the whole, like, immediate. I was like, oh, that. I was like, yeah, it hurts right there. And she was like, oh, yeah. It's like. Like a gastritis ulcer or some.

[Nate]

So what does that mean? There's like a sore on the outside or inside of your stomach or is there an actual hole through your stomach to the outside to, like, the rest of your.

[Harry]

I don't think there's an actual. I doubt that. Doubt. It's like. It's just like a perfect. Like, I'm picturing, like, the smoker's hole and, like, the throat. I don't think it's like that.

[Nate]

I think I'm picturing, like, when somebody's breaking into a building in a Mission Impossible movie and they put a suction cup on a window and then draw a perfect circle around it and then punch through. I'm picturing that. That kind of hole. Like a manhole cover.

[Harry]

Yeah. I don't know what it actually. I'll look it up.

[Nate]

Did it give you a picture of it?

[Harry]

No, I didn't get, like, an X ray.

[Nate]

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[Harry]

Four, I use it.

[Nate]

Five, my mom uses it.

[Francis Ellis]

Are you.

[Nate]

Are you playing me off? That's what's happening, right? Okay, give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront.

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[Francis Ellis]

Sass how long do you think you're gonna live forever? Like what, what do you think your age of death will be?

[Harry]

Probably like 80, 90.

[Francis Ellis]

That's a pretty big range.

[Harry]

That's pretty like, I think 8090 is kind of like, it's kind of just like it's out of your control at that point.

[Francis Ellis]

If you had to guess an actual year of your life where you will expire.

[Harry]

Like you're asking for the, the year in terms of the date, no.

[Francis Ellis]

How old you are.

[Harry]

But you were born in that 97, maybe 93.

[Francis Ellis]

Wow. Nice.

[Harry]

I mean, dude, I got my blood work back. I'm healthy as.

[Francis Ellis]

That's awesome.

[Harry]

I got.

[Francis Ellis]

What about you?

[Nate]

I don't know, dude. I, I hope, I hope into my late 80s. I mean, I hope I live to 100. I don't, I have no idea. I don't know what kind of lifestyle changes I'm going to need to make to, to make sure that happens. I probably need to eat better and exercise more and cut out some of the excess in my diet and like drinking to, to achieve those goals. But if you booze, you lose.

[Harry]

Me and my doctor had a long talk about that. I love hitting them with that. They're like, they're like. And have you been drinking a lot?

[Francis Ellis]

Nope.

[Harry]

None. Actually, I don't drink because thanks for assuming.

[Nate]

But they'll bring in nurses from other rooms when you say that and they'll like applaud. They'll ring a bell like you just beat cancer. Like, oh, he didn't drink. Oh my God. Bring out the, the doctors to sing him Happy birthday. Like he's at a Ruby Tuesday.

[Francis Ellis]

Wheel them down the hall to like Kids that are in there with drinking problems, like, what you could be.

[Nate]

And they're like, there's hope.

[Harry]

It gets better. There's light at the end of the tunnel, guys.

[Nate]

He did it. You should have seen him when he was drinking. He was a menace.

[Harry]

Absolutely. Got the blood work to show it. My liver function has gotten so much better.

[Francis Ellis]

Nice.

[Harry]

When I was. When I went into the. When I got blood work done, like, I think it was, like, one of my first times getting blood work done in New York. I got it, and my liver was, like, in bad shape. My liver function was through the roof. And then my doctor called me. Never called. You want to get bad?

[Nate]

No news is good news.

[Harry]

Hi, is this Harry?

[Nate]

Hi.

[Harry]

This is your doctor. We just got your lab results back. Turns out your liver's. It's turned black.

[Nate]

Your liver looks like a well done steak.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Harry]

There's tar on the sides of it.

[Francis Ellis]

The only time I've ever had the actual doctor call me on the phone was the time that. That my ear, nose, and throat doctor called me to tell me to come in immediately to tell me that I had cancer.

[Harry]

Wait, I don't know if I know anything about this story. It's because I know it had to do with, like, bars. Did it have to do with Barstool Idol?

[Francis Ellis]

It happened during barstool.

[Nate]

Okay.

[Harry]

Yeah. So what happened?

[Francis Ellis]

I had gone in for a. I had polyps removed from my vocal cords.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

Because I was hoarse instantly, like, all the time. I mean, if I went out one night of stand up, I'd be hoarse for a week. It had gotten so bad. And so I went in and he took them out. And then, you know, whenever they take something out of your body, they always biopsy it just to, like, make sure. And, like, I don't know. A month later, he called me in the middle of the Barstool Idol week and said that. He said. He said, come in. I need you to come in right now.

[Harry]

Jesus Christ.

[Francis Ellis]

I was like, can I. I'm in the middle of a kind of a crazy week. Can I come in? And he was like, no, you need to come in today. Like, I went up all the way up to Mount Sinai Hospital and I went in. He saw me immediately. Like, I didn't have to wait.

[Harry]

Yeah, yeah, he was waiting for you.

[Francis Ellis]

And this is. This is one of the, like, you know, the top ents or whatever. Very reputable guy. And, yeah, he's like, yeah, bring him in. And he told me that when the biopsy results came back, what he thought Were polyps that he had removed from my vocal cords were cancerous tumors.

[Harry]

Damn.

[Francis Ellis]

And they showed cancerous malignancies. And he had the. A biopsy report and all that. And he said, we need to start figuring this out immediately. Like, we need to. And he was. Yeah. I mean, and then what?

[Harry]

They were wrong?

[Francis Ellis]

Well, then they sent them over to. They sent them to California to a lab.

[Nate]

They say, your throat to California.

[Francis Ellis]

They sent my throat.

[Harry]

That throat's worldwide.

[Francis Ellis]

And they checked them. And then I remember. I don't know what it was. I ended up winning Barcelona. And then, like, I think one week later, I got a call from the office again.

[Harry]

A week later?

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, that's how long it took.

[Harry]

No, I would say I'd be like, I'm flying with the throat. We're finding this out together.

[Nate]

Your throat's just on ice in first.

[Francis Ellis]

Class, handcuffed to my wrist in a briefcase.

[Harry]

I'm not going anywhere without knowing the results.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. And they. They realized that. She said that the test. That when they sent them to that lab, the DNA was female and that therefore my sample had been switched in the Mount Sinai lab with that of another patient. Cancer, apparently, by the way, happens a lot, which is kind of crazy. And what that meant was that that woman had cancer, and which means that even.

[Nate]

Thank God.

[Harry]

Yeah, it's kind of like a tough.

[Nate]

She would have released.

[Francis Ellis]

She was like. Knew she had cancer, got maybe got my results, and miraculously, they were like, holy shit, you're cured.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

And then they were like, sorry, bad news. Had.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

Still have cancer.

[Harry]

I mean, that's probably that. Probably, like, that's a. There's a high possibility that happened.

[Francis Ellis]

Or. Or she found out that she had cancer, like, way later than she should have. And people often told me they were like, you should have sued. It's like, no, that woman should say, yeah, yeah, I'm not gonna sue hospital for telling me I don't have cancer after all.

[Nate]

She came in and she was like. They were like, ma', am, you're fine, and good luck with Barstool Idol.

[Harry]

Viva. We're big fans over here for you.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, but no, and then immediately when that call came, I mean, immediately, they blogged that I had faked cancer to win bars to get a job at Barstool. That was the narrative.

[Harry]

Well, yeah, I remember that.

[Nate]

Relatively calm about it. Like, you found out, but it's not. Like, if I had found that out, like, I probably would have left the competition and, like, been, like, getting my affairs in order. Well, like, I would have been so scared.

[Francis Ellis]

The reason. The reason that it came out was because on the way back from the hospital, I had to go back to do, like, a test radio segment on KFC radio. And I walked in and I had been crying in the cab from. As I called my parents to tell them that I had just received a cancer diagnosis.

[Harry]

Oh, my God.

[Francis Ellis]

And I walked into the office, and Kevin was like, have you been on radio? He was like, have you been crying?

[Harry]

Oh, my God.

[Francis Ellis]

And I was like, yeah.

[Harry]

Oh, no.

[Francis Ellis]

I think he's like, what's. What. What's the matter? And I was like, well, I just. See, I just got some really bad news.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

And I swear to God, he goes, you're not about to tell me you have cancer, are you? That's what he said.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

That'S what I just. That's what I was just sort of told.

[Harry]

Yeah, that's.

[Nate]

How did you. How did you, like, convince everybody? I forget. Were you, like, showing people. I would be, like, showing people the chart because it's so.

[Harry]

Well, it doesn't really sound like it was. You weren't, like, convincing them? It was like you genuinely were under the impression that you had cancer?

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, I've been told by a doctor.

[Nate]

No, but I'm not saying you. I'm saying that, like, when you walk in during this, like, big time for the content company in a competition that you need to win based off of people's judgment, coming in with cancer in the middle plausibly would, like, help you out. So you could see a little bit why people were skeptical, why they'd be like, why the. The timing is insane. And so, like, were you, like, showing them doctor's notes? Were you. How were you, like, when people doubted you? How did you quell that fear?

[Francis Ellis]

When. When. When the. When it came out that I. That they had up the thing in the lab, I called the doctor's office and had them, because immediately Nate blogged that. That I had faked cancer to win Barstool. Win a job at Barstool. I mean, he. He had written the blog before I hung up from. On the phone with the doctor telling me I didn't have it. So I got them to send me the official biopsy report with the notes and the official language and the official form, which I then scanned, or, you know, I had a digital copy, and I. I took a screenshot of that and included it in my blog, explaining the whole thing, but nobody cared. Nobody. Everyone.

[Nate]

Yeah, People are just like, oh, Quigs. Quigs is at it again.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, I remember Buddha Ben was, like, pointing out ways in which my form was fake.

[Harry]

Inconsistencies.

[Francis Ellis]

It was like my uncle had cancer, and I looked at the same form, and, like, this was signed differently. I'm like, dude, what. What are you. What do you. No. And so anyway, you know, look, it's a funnier story that I faked cancer that set the tone for my. My first year or two at barstool. That I was this, like, sociopathic liar who would, you know, go to that. Stoop to that level of humanity to get ahead in the world. But unfortunately, you know, I wasn't lying.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Nate]

I mean, fortunately, that it turned out the way it did because it didn't matter.

[Francis Ellis]

It didn't matter. Like, the truth was not funny. And so we went with the. We went with the other version.

[Harry]

That happened to one of my. One of my friends when I moved to New York and high and for college, he went to the. He went to the doctor because he had a sore throat. And they were like, you got to go to the ent. They were like, you. It was like a minute clinic. Person was like, I think that could be, like, cancer. And so he went to the ENT under the impression that he had cancer. And then he got there, and they were like. That person's like, you have a sore throat. There's nothing wrong with you.

[Nate]

Are they just shuffling samples like blackjack dealers back there? Like, this wasn't even with the samples.

[Harry]

This wasn't even a sample. This was literally like a. The person that was way under qualified, like, throughout. The worst diagnosis you could get.

[Francis Ellis]

No, but he's talking about my street. I mean, you know, I don't know. I think those labs are. You know, you're dealing with microscopic tissue slides, and you stick a sticker on it and put it in the thing, and you have another sticker going, and you put that on the other one. And I don't know. I have no idea how that happened, and I didn't care to find out. I had been given a clean bill of health as far as I was concerned, you know, I. I wasn't gonna mess with the karma of that.

[Harry]

Of course.

[Nate]

Did we say you had cancer? No. You are a cancer. Sorry. We were reading your astrological.

[Francis Ellis]

I'm a Aries.

[Nate]

So Francis lied about his astrological sign.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. Big.

[Nate]

Big Nate had it out for you. Damn.

[Francis Ellis]

Tell us a little bit about. About beach house.

[Harry]

Yeah. I was blown away when I saw you walk into that house. I. I actually didn't really follow that much. I would Kind of like, see randomly. I saw like, obviously the first night the. With Nikki smokes and Brianna and then I saw. What else did I see? I guess I saw some of the last night.

[Nate]

What did you think about the first night?

[Harry]

Crazy.

[Nate]

What'd you think about what? The. The situation between the two of them. What's your breakdown? Whose side are you on?

[Harry]

I really don't know a lot about it. Like, I really don't know.

[Nate]

All I know, you said you saw it.

[Harry]

I saw the video of Brianna and then I saw Nikki smokes crying. And then I saw Nicky smokes tweet saying that he's not a rapist.

[Nate]

Which is like, good. That's good. Exactly.

[Francis Ellis]

Exactly what a rapist would tweet.

[Nate]

Show me where I've raped someone.

[Harry]

Yeah. I don't know. I mean, I would never do it, you know, I would never sign up for this. This thing, but.

[Nate]

Oh, I thought you meant I would never rape.

[Harry]

Oh, that as well, of course. But the. Yeah, I would definitely. I don't think I would ever. Like, people have been tweeting at me being like, they'll be like, this person, we need sass in there. And I'm like, dude, don't even tag me in this. I mean, are you out of your mind.

[Nate]

That walking into the house was like some fresh hell. Like, everybody is like, has a light veneer of either coming into or going out of drunkness. It's just like even watching the clips these poor social people are filming at point blank range as like, Nikki Smokes is being like, did you hear it from the grapevine? Did you hear it from the grape saying stuff that is like, he's like, drunkly profound. But like, when you're all drunk, it probably like sounds really good. And then when you're like watching the clip back, you're like, you want to crawl out of your own skin. So it's just this haze of alcohol in there. But I think that, I mean, I've had shore houses before. Like, for, for years out of college, I lived in shore houses. And it's really fun when you're. When you drink a lot and you're of that age and probably like single. Like most of the people in the house are. So that I. I get why that's fun. But no, I'm not saying.

[Harry]

Yeah, like, if you're. If, like, if I just was still drinking and I. It wasn't being filmed, I'm sure it would be a blast.

[Nate]

But being extremely filmed, that sounds. I. I mean, the anxiety that has to come with this. That was my first single day. Is. I mean, it's. It's terrible, dude.

[Harry]

When I.

[Francis Ellis]

If I had a camera on me and I was like, if I was making out with someone and a camera, like a phone and got into my face, I could. I would stop making out with that person immediately.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Nate]

I would stop my life.

[Harry]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The.

[Francis Ellis]

I'd be so embarrassed.

[Harry]

Yeah. I guess it's like, I don't know, the, the videos of Jackie, which I feel bad because, like, I'm like, Jackie's like, we're friends from doing all the out of order stuff, so I don't want to, like, I don't want to on her. But like, that anxiety of like the videos of her trying to kiss Nikki smokes. I think I would have to like withdraw from the, from the house the next morning. Or like, I would be like, I'm out. You guys have a good rest of the month.

[Nate]

There was a bowl of like, there's like a punch bowl of Chex mix that she was like grabbing softball sized handfuls of, like, drunk. I mean, she. At least she made it home. Like, it's not that bad to be doing that, but if I saw myself like with Chex mix, eating it like an apple, I would have to be like, oh my God, what have I done? Not to. Yeah. Not to single her out because obviously she's great.

[Francis Ellis]

But.

[Nate]

And I think that she probably feels.

[Harry]

She probably got a lot of. She probably got a lot of shit already.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

I mean, the, like the way that I was thinking about it was like, imagine the anxiety. Like I was just picturing like the anxiety that I felt from doing the Case Race.

[Nate]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Like, especially like the second and the third one. But then if we were that drunk and then we were also out in public, like, we were. It was seven people or 10 people that we work with every single day, all day. And we're very good friends with. Compared to. They're like in the wild. Like, they're out.

[Nate]

Yeah. And they're. And our goal is to be funny and have fun and their goal is to like achieve some kind of romantic, like, little tris that in the same time makes them look cool. Like it's. It's such a tough pursuit.

[Francis Ellis]

I didn't know.

[Harry]

Is it? I didn't know it was so like, like, is that, is that what they're trying to do? Is it like a relationship? Like, like a dating show? Because I didn't think.

[Francis Ellis]

It's just reality, dude. It's just reality tv.

[Harry]

I guess. Yeah. I just didn't think any of the. I didn't think people were going to be like, in like that.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, but dude, I think romance. Romance is always heartbeat of reality tv. And then the consequences of it, that is what drives all of those Bravo shows.

[Harry]

That's true. I mean, even like Survivor, no one's.

[Francis Ellis]

Ever like, dude, I can't believe you didn't file your taxes on time. You know what I mean? I guess.

[Harry]

Yeah. I mean, it's a show of like 10 young people hammered on the shore.

[Nate]

Yeah, I love reality tv. I'm like obsessed with like Bravo and stuff like that, so I just knew I had to be part of it. And I'm. I'm loving it. Like, I think it is. I mean, I have like a stable family life now, so it's like people who don't live that life can't get enough of drama like that. So they're. They're definitely like the man in the arena and I'm just like the peasants in the coliseum who's like throwing heads of lettuce and like tomatoes and like, laughing like, as I like fart at my house. Like, it's. I'm like the, the. The viewer. But it's very fun. It's very fun to watch, but goddamn kudos to them for putting their necks on the line like that.

[Harry]

Ballsy.

[Nate]

Also like the show all, like, Nikki Smokes is getting. But like, he is and I'm giving him totally. But like, he's the characters, like, he's the show. He was the center of the drama every night.

[Harry]

Yeah, he is the show.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Nate]

So he has to keep on being himself. Francis. I know he'll. I'm sure you've been talking to him. Him giving you pep talks.

[Francis Ellis]

I spoke to him. I spoke to him before the show and I told him like, you know, my advice would be to ease in and.

[Harry]

Oh, he did not listen to that at all.

[Francis Ellis]

I mean, it was also the dove head first. It was the wrong advice. You know what I mean? Like, I don't. If he, as Roan put it, if he lies low, there's nothing to talk about.

[Harry]

So do you think it'll stay this, like, so, like, it's obviously it's not happening during. What is it happening Thursday to Sunday every week. So does Nikki Smokes. Go back to Chicago.

[Nate]

He's in the office right now.

[Harry]

He's in New York?

[Nate]

No, he's in the Chicago office right now.

[Francis Ellis]

Holy.

[Harry]

So, like, do you think it's gonna wind down at all, like, you think by Week four, it's gonna be like.

[Francis Ellis]

Imagine how much worse the anxiety is knowing that you have to fly.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

Back there instead of just take, like, a dumb train back to New York.

[Harry]

Dude, honestly, he's flying with his ex.

[Nate]

And the, like, he's fine with Annika. Like, the. The cameras go off and then they're like, all right, like, hop in the van. We're taking you guys to the airport. And they're like, on a plane together.

[Harry]

Like, yeah.

[Nate]

But he's, like, putting on his headphones and 17D and she's in 16F.

[Harry]

Like, oh, yeah. I mean, the. Like, the. Dude, if I got that drunk and it was all on video and it was. And it came out the next day, like, flying back to Chicago wouldn't even be on the table.

[Nate]

I'm walking back, I'm putting some Joni Mitchell on my headphones and I'm walking back.

[Harry]

Yeah. Getting on a plane would not even be in the conversation. It would just be like, oh, no, I'm not gonna. I'm not doing that. It would be like, I'll be. I'll fly home on Monday. I'm not doing that.

[Francis Ellis]

Does he go home on Sunday or does he go home on Monday right.

[Nate]

After the after show? So, like, everybody's like, why is the after show not live? Like, they don't have the infrastructure to have, like a tricaster and switcher, like, with incredible Internet to be able to do that live. So they had to edit it. We have to shoot it Sunday morning. Because the. So the poor social people, like, they. They need a break too. Like, they all just had to go back to work. We're like, okay, you guys get a couple days off? Like, no, they spent the weekend, like, out with them, filming. Dead sober. Filming them drunk at, like, DJs at 4 in the morning. And then they just have to be in on Monday morning to, like, produce other stuff for barstool.

[Harry]

Are they not getting up too?

[Nate]

I don't think like, that. I mean, maybe. Maybe like, a little bit. Like, you have to be. It's not like you could just like, go off. Like, you have to be filming someone from point blank range at every second to, like, if they say a word, you have to already have been filming. So you're not catching it mid sentence. It's insane.

[Harry]

Is this like. Like, DJs? Like, do they know that? Like, the bar stool people. Like, is it like, people know they're coming?

[Francis Ellis]

I was gonna ask big time.

[Nate]

Sections.

[Harry]

Okay, I see.

[Francis Ellis]

Do they clear. They clear the filming with the bar.

[Nate]

Beforehand, they clear the filming. They all have sex. They'll get you like, table service or like there's like a bar at the one place at Osprey. I think that it was like, mostly or exclusively the barstool people. So they had space to, like, have the storylines and. And do it all. But I just probably could pub for the bars to do for the pubs.

[Francis Ellis]

It would be fun to just go and watch and like, oh, yeah, be there for a night. I like Dante a lot. I like hanging out with Dante. And he cracks me up. When he was. I saw a clip of him explaining why he signed up for the show and how wrong he was about what he thought it was gonna be. And he was like, dude, I thought this was gonna be like, surviving Barstool.

[Nate]

It's a fest. He signed up for the fest thinking he was signing up for, like, a ropes course.

[Harry]

It's pretty funny.

[Francis Ellis]

He thought it was like a meaningful game show that, you know, he could use to say in his contract negotiation or something like that. And it's like, dude, you're 20 years older than everybody else on this show.

[Harry]

I think this might do more for his contract than doing surviving Bars. Like, he should get a lifetime contract just for being there.

[Nate]

Yeah, yeah, it's. It's wild to watch, but I think it's, I guess, good for everybody. But it sounds like Dante's not, like, oblivious. Like, he writes blogs and is, like plugged into barstool stuff and has known the ways of barstool for so long that the fact that he even just like half read an email and signed away his August to be like, sharing a twin bed bedroom with three other people, like, that's.

[Francis Ellis]

That's.

[Nate]

That's a rough go of it.

[Harry]

Yeah, yeah, it's a tough go.

[Nate]

That's a tough August thinking you're signing up for, like, summer camp and waking up in Kuwait with a gun in your hand or something like that. So how did I get here?

[Harry]

I thought we were going to be doing, like, archery.

[Nate]

Wait, I gotta. I have to shoot the guys. I'm shooting that guy.

[Harry]

That guy's not real though, right? Like, that's like, what's my commitment here?

[Francis Ellis]

Four years.

[Nate]

The training is really serious at summer camp. It feels real. It feels actually real crazy.

[Harry]

But I mean, yeah, like you said, it's. It's definitely entertaining to watch.

[Nate]

Yeah, I like the. I like the cast. I like the people in the house.

[Harry]

Also, I will say I was super anti, like, the social clips. Only thing I actually think it's very Good format.

[Nate]

Yeah, it's working really well. I mean the first week I literally could not have gone better. There's nothing you could have written up. Every night had storylines. The, the, the, all the characters like were amplified version of themselves for the most part and it was great. I, and I think now we're going to see like what does a week of discourse about this change because people are reading their own comments. So it's like are you going back in with strategy? Like, are you going back in being like this is what I'm going to be like this time. Like remember you on the second case race, you're like, I mean, and it was funny but you were like, you just had canned answers for everything, you know.

[Harry]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's funny for the first 700 times you say it.

[Nate]

But you're drunk so it's like you were drunk at the time. So it makes it funny to just do it a billion times anyway.

[Harry]

Yeah, yeah.

[Nate]

So it's bizarre. And we are, we're in the fortunate position to have the moral high ground of just watching and be like, yeah, these guys are crazy. Like we all wouldn't be psychos if they were just feeding us alcohol for oh yeah, five straight days.

[Harry]

Yeah. That's also, that's another thing. It's like I don't, I don't think, I don't take any of like that serious to like what those people are actually like because it's an ins. It's an insane position that pretty much no one has ever been put in.

[Nate]

Reality TV shows just put us in a position as a society to have this shared gossip where everybody is, is like can look at a member of the tribe and be like, oh my God, can you believe that they did this? When in reality it's just like we, we would just, just. It's just not our turn to be the ones who are gossiped at.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Nate]

Just signed up for it. It's a great show though.

[Harry]

Phenomenal. Phenomenal. Speaking of shows, have you guys been checking out any of the T Warlords gaming content?

[Nate]

You guys are, you guys are crushing it. What's the, what's the latest on that? I feel like this is a good cross promo platform for that.

[Harry]

Definitely. Oh shit, dude. The roan.com already has 55,000 views. Jesus. Came out three hours ago.

[Nate]

People are hitting me up. Who I haven't talked to in 15 years about this.

[Harry]

That is insane. That's like Matt's numbers.

[Francis Ellis]

You're putting that on there. Yeah.

[Nate]

T Warlords is now hosting roan.com beach house after show Just promo.

[Harry]

I think we're. We're thinking about switching back to Bush Bush gaming.

[Nate]

Why would you do that?

[Harry]

We just like Bush more. It's got more of them.

[Francis Ellis]

You've already got your name. You can't keep switching it. You're not?

[Harry]

No, you can, dude. You can. We have. It says in our Twitter bio, it says the first thing it says is name subject to change.

[Nate]

What?

[Francis Ellis]

Why?

[Nate]

What's wrong with Warlords? Is there other people? That's Warlords.

[Harry]

That's the kind of problem is, like, there's so many gaming content things already called warlords. Also, just like Bush, We. We were Bush forever. I don't know why we ever strayed away from the name.

[Nate]

Well, who wanted to change it, Jerry?

[Harry]

No. Really? No one.

[Nate]

So why did you change it?

[Harry]

Overthinking.

[Ad Voice]

Who.

[Nate]

Who introduced the idea? It's not like everybody came to the decision together and said it at the same time. Who's like, hey, should we. Should we change the name?

[Harry]

No, I think it really was like everyone came together and was like, that's.

[Nate]

Not how ideas happen.

[Harry]

Because when we went into it, Bush was not even like the name. Like, it was like, it always has been the name. But when we actually started it, we were kind of like, what do we want the name to be? Do we want it to be Bush? And then we kind of just came up with a list of names. No, we just came up with a list of names, including Bush.

[Nate]

And everybody contributed to the list.

[Harry]

No, we.

[Francis Ellis]

It was.

[Harry]

I think we asked chat GBT for a list and then. And then Warlords, I literally think was the first one that sucks ass.

[Nate]

Now. Now I support you going back to Bush.

[Harry]

Yeah, I think it's got to be Bush. It's got to be a real.

[Nate]

Having a chat GPT ass name actually sucks now.

[Harry]

It does suck, but it's going very well.

[Nate]

You literally are like a writer for a living and a chat GPT. Write your name.

[Francis Ellis]

It's.

[Harry]

It's. It's going good. It's going surprisingly well. And let's just say we're going to be in Saudi soon. Saudi's coming soon.

[Nate]

100 milli.

[Harry]

100 mil.

[Nate]

At least. Why don't you call yourselves the Riyadh Warlords?

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Nate]

Or Telluride. Riyadh.

[Harry]

Yeah. That's not a bad idea.

[Nate]

Just to make yourself sound local.

[Harry]

Yeah. Tell your.

[Nate]

Like, when brands have like.

[Harry]

So that wasn't one of that we considered, actually. Yeah, I was kidding when I said it. But. But I did Say I did say it in the meaning.

[Nate]

Well, it has. It has something to it.

[Harry]

It's got a ring, you know, like.

[Nate]

It instills fear and politics.

[Harry]

Who's politically attached to Hamas?

[Nate]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Harry]

I really don't know.

[Nate]

Are pro Palestine, aren't necessarily like. And Hamas should be the world government.

[Harry]

You never know. You never know. I'm sure there's someone out there that thinks that.

[Nate]

I can't. We. We. We need to find a way to get on that comedy festival, the Saudi Arabia one.

[Francis Ellis]

I can't even think about it. It just.

[Harry]

Francis is furious about it.

[Francis Ellis]

It's combines two of my favorite things, Saudi Arabia and comedy. I've been on the Saudi Arabia beat since college.

[Harry]

Didn't you get invited to go to Saudi Arabia and go, like, spear fishing with. By like.

[Francis Ellis]

No, I was trying to. Well, I mean, yeah, I got, like, a loose invite in that day. He was like, you should come. Come. Come spear fishing with us. Or we go around the oil rigs. We go around the legs of the oil rigs. And it was like, this dude was a prince. Fully. You know, his parents, dude billionaires. I've DM'd that guy so many times that I. I can't anymore.

[Harry]

Does he reply or. No?

[Francis Ellis]

No, he hasn't responded once. Ah.

[Nate]

What if he. He, like, got you confused with, like, Santino or something? He's like, we thought we were inviting you. We thought it was your Francis.

[Francis Ellis]

Oh, also, he was. He wasn't from Saudi. He was uae. From Dubai. Emirati. Emirati, right.

[Nate]

From Dubai, I think.

[Francis Ellis]

I think so. Yeah.

[Harry]

I think he takes place there.

[Nate]

Like, Dubai didn't exist, like, 40 years ago. Like, how are people from there?

[Francis Ellis]

You know what I learned under 40? The richest thing. Like, it's funny, people in America will be like, oh, you were lacrosse player. Like, what a rich thing. It's like, dude, you think that's rich? Falconry is the richest thing.

[Harry]

What is that?

[Nate]

That's real rich.

[Francis Ellis]

This dude is a. Is big into foul. His whole Instagram page is him with a falcon on his arm, like, sending it off to kill whatever and bringing it back for dinner.

[Nate]

These are the bros who fly to America and get all of Delta Comfort plus booked out so their Falcons can fly blindfolded for 18 hours.

[Francis Ellis]

That. Yeah.

[Nate]

And. And, like, I mean, are you just allowed to bring your falcon on the plane like that? I. I don't. What's the premium to get your falcon on the plane? Because that's not emotional support.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, exactly.

[Nate]

Do not pet this Falcon. It's so wild and it's wild. The actual.

[Francis Ellis]

The.

[Nate]

The most rich people in the world are. Are actually that it's not like Larry Ellison and. And Elon Musk. It's like actually Prince Al Farouk Aminu or whatever.

[Harry]

Yeah dude, I was the. The Saudi is. Is super big in the. In the esports world and they're. They kind of have taken over like most of the teams for all different games. Like the right now in Call of Duty like the like a good player would probably get paid like 250k plus around that it from what I know. And then the Saudis are throwing like 2 million at guys just just shaking things up.

[Francis Ellis]

Unbelievable.

[Harry]

Because it's like these guys will never see money like that from another team. But the side. There's no salary cap so they can just throw 10 million at a dude.

[Nate]

Francis, you probably would know more about. This is the. Who's the guy that's kind of leading this cultural revolution in Saudi Arabia to kind of globalize them. Is that a young king or a young prince or something like that?

[Francis Ellis]

Mbs. It's the. Well I gotta see is he the one who is.

[Nate]

He's the one who's building or he had the idea to build that massive walled mirrored city that's like 50 miles long. It's like he's the same guy who's like well we're gonna like make the desert into like a rainforest.

[Harry]

I think that's Dubai, is it not?

[Francis Ellis]

No, I think I know Saudi Arabia.

[Harry]

Super long skinny thing that they were trying to build.

[Francis Ellis]

That's Saudi Arabia and they've allegedly. They've started it. So MBS is Mohammed bin Salman and he's the de facto ruler of Saudi Arabia. He was the crown prince and prime minister. He's the heir apparent to the Saudi throne. But he's I. My guess is that the current king of Saudi Arabia is probably very old and they're just waiting for him to die and then MBS will. Will be king.

[Nate]

But what I heard about this guy is that he has like a combination of like. Of like ingenuity of like a startup type of guy but with also like the capital to do whatever he wants like in the world. Like he has the deep pockets but also the creative thinking to do all this shit. But I mean maybe that's just like their propaganda but seeing yeah look like soccer and like sport watch and like comedy. Maybe they're. They're doing a form of soft power to make themselves seem more globally pal. Yeah. Live and. And now, like, building this mirrored city and letting people, like, have Louis stores and, like, drink alcohol in certain cities, like, it seems like there is a bit of a under. They're undergoing some kind of change.

[Harry]

They're trying to become the next big. The next big country.

[Francis Ellis]

I think he is credited with a lot of the sort of liberalization of Saudi Arabia, the modernization of it. But on one hand, he has created schools, like colleges and universities for women. I think he's maybe even spoken out about coeducation, which has never happened. But on the other hand, he's also murdered Jamal Khashoggi. He does things that are very, you know, old and kind of medieval. And so I. I don't. You know, I think we. Yeah, he's two steps forward, one step backwards, probably.

[Nate]

Well, it's like a conservative country, so they probably look at him like he's like Gavin Newsom or something like that. Like, half the country's probably like, this lib is destroying our country.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, but nobody would say that, because then he'll send a death squad to your door, and you will be murdered.

[Harry]

I don't understand Comedy Fest. You want to see your favorite American comedians in Saudi Arabia?

[Nate]

Imagine Bill Burr just doing, like, 15 minutes on Riyadh the way he did on Philly, and they just, like, mow him down out back. He's like, this city's trash.

[Harry]

Yeah, I mean, I wonder, what, publicly hang him. Yeah. I wonder what jokes they can even do out there. He's got to be pretty tight. Yeah, I mean, I'm not saying, hey, I would have accepted the money myself. I'm not. I'm not on anybody, but it's definitely blood money.

[Nate]

Francis, can you also connect some dots to me for me? Jamal Kashogi, his dad was like, Ghislaine Maxwell's dad and Epstein associate.

[Francis Ellis]

Is that right?

[Nate]

Yeah. I don't know, like, CIA affiliated.

[Francis Ellis]

Hold on. Let's look.

[Nate]

Jamal Khashoggi's dad, and then look up Khislane Maxwell's dad.

[Harry]

Let me know if you guys. Robert, anything up. I'm on. I got 16 gbs of ram right now.

[Nate]

I mean, we need you cross referencing this sass like we're all at our laptops or our computers. Our desktops. We're all at our desktops with blurred backgrounds. Why did you blur that out?

[Harry]

Because you know what?

[Nate]

You're gonna suck the.

[Harry]

The bad blur. I didn't blur. Ahmad are incredible. What are you even talking about?

[Francis Ellis]

Really quick, Roan, you're talking about Jamal Khashoggi's uncle is Uncle Great Gatsby of Saudi Arabia. He and was involved with Epstein and all this stuff.

[Harry]

Involved how, though? Like, business. I'm sure they were doing business together. Let's see, like, making money moves.

[Francis Ellis]

He was a financial client of financier and sex offender Jeffrey Epstein for a period.

[Harry]

So he's a client. Jeff helped him with his money.

[Francis Ellis]

There you go.

[Harry]

But we're trying to still get to Saudi, guys.

[Francis Ellis]

We can't be.

[Harry]

We can't be burning these bridges yet.

[Nate]

Yeah, well, I just. I think that if we identify him as a CIA asset now, it kind of gives a little bit more reasoning for the Saudi's actions, where we almost become Saudi apologists and we're like, hey, like, they didn't actually do anything wrong. I think that's what's the dots that I was trying to connect that we're associating the people that killed with pedophiles. I don't know.

[Francis Ellis]

I like the fact that they have created this fucking comedy festival, right? And every single comedian who has been invited, it seems, is going, you know what I mean? There is not a single comedian in the field who has raised a voice and been like, I'm not taking that blood money. The Saudis are bad. Blah, blah, blah. Every one of them is like, yeah, I don't have any moral qualms whatsoever about, you know, taking Saudi money. There's no. There's no press conferences where Dustin Johnson has to be like, look, I thought this was the right move for my family.

[Nate]

And, right.

[Francis Ellis]

I'm leaving the PGA Tour. And it is what it is. It's like, no, none of them have.

[Nate]

Families, first of all. Second of all, you know that they're all about a dollar. And third of all, I heard that they're going to have a hologram of Bernie Mac. I heard that they're really. They're getting the estates of dead people like Tupac performances and Michael Jackson performances. He's going to be like, I'm not.

[Francis Ellis]

Scared of you, dude. I would take the money in a heartbeat. I would have no issue getting absolutely fucking paid. Maybe that's obvious to say, but it's just like.

[Harry]

I don't know.

[Francis Ellis]

I like that this is a field where no one has to pretend that there's some fucking white knight, you know, situation. I like that.

[Nate]

No one has to have any ethics. It's awesome.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, pretty much, yeah.

[Harry]

I don't know. I'm curious to see what it's going to be like.

[Nate]

Sass, are you in Saudi right now?

[Francis Ellis]

Wait a second.

[Nate]

How did that happen? Did the Telluride, Riyadh already get picked up?

[Harry]

Yeah, just touched down. You know what I was thinking about, though, when you guys were talking about the buildings? If it's so hot there, building a bunch of mirrored buildings, wouldn't that make it hotter, or am I wrong about that?

[Nate]

It's hot on the outside, cool on.

[Francis Ellis]

The inside, deflect the sun back out.

[Nate]

It's like an ice cream paint job.

[Harry]

Yeah, but if you're walking around the streets of.

[Nate]

No, but it's like an enclosed city, so the.

[Francis Ellis]

All the.

[Nate]

The entire outside is mirrored and the inside. And it's just like.

[Harry]

I think you're describing many stories right now, brother.

[Nate]

They're just trying to build St. Paul from scratch. We already did that. All right? It doesn't. It seems dumb as fuck because you're like, what if you meet someone, you're like, I live in the same. I live in the same. Same city as this person. I live in this. And you're like 50 miles away on a straight line.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

Harry, somehow we can see you better with that background than your actual home. I know.

[Harry]

I gotta fix the lighting.

[Nate]

Yeah. So, Francis, when are you leaving for that Tony?

[Francis Ellis]

Tomorrow morning.

[Nate]

Jesus Christ.

[Harry]

Just having a look. We're just having a hoot in the chat right now.

[Francis Ellis]

I chat, I'll come clean. I'll come clean. I. I asked the guys if we could stop because I'm so hungry. I didn't get to eat. I haven't eaten anything today because I had to go because I don't have a window on my car. That's what happened. My car is not watertight yet. Roan's eating a hot dog. Where did you get a hot dog?

[Harry]

I would kill for a dog right now. Oh, no, it's corn. Do you have a dog, too? I would kill for a dog. Did you grill that? No way. You grilled that? You don't know how to grill a hot dog?

[Nate]

Yeah. What do I do with it? I was stuffing it in through the propane side. It wasn't working.

[Francis Ellis]

Well, I gotta.

[Harry]

I gotta do a couple things. We got the out of order shows are coming up for the mascots. We're doing a bunch of, like, premiere shows. I'll be at all of them. The only one I'm not going to be able. Be able to make is the Boston one. Unfortunately, I have prior commitments.

[Nate]

Show is so good. I saw the first episode. I'm super excited for it. You got to be excited to finally see it come out. Sass. All the work that you put into it.

[Harry]

I am. I'm very excited. Yeah, I'm really looking forward to that. So check that out. You can get the tickets for the online shows, I think on the mascots. Instagram or Twitter, either or. Or like anybody's page, really. Tommy fights. And then I'm gonna be on the road myself around that same time. I'm gonna be in New York.

[Nate]

That's not the road, brother. You're talking about the city you live.

[Harry]

Yeah, Milwaukee, I think Chicago. I gotta check it. Check on all that. I'll have more updates next episode. Check out T. Warlords Gaming. That's all I've got, guys.

[Francis Ellis]

Nice. I'll be in Phoenix, Boston in December. I've got Austin and I've got Philly. Like, those are gonna. Those are selling.

[Nate]

Those are going to be sold out.

[Francis Ellis]

Selling out Boston.

[Harry]

Solid dates.

[Francis Ellis]

And then I've got one more. I've got San Diego. All that this fall. Tickets at Punchup Live. Francis Ellis.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

Awesome, guys. Good stuff.

[Nate]

I will be in Yuma and Galveston and Joliet.

[Francis Ellis]

Protection when you do this. Roan people DM me and they're like, wait, I can't find tickets to Roan's Yuma show anywhere.

[Harry]

Oh, and people, no one has it. And no matter how many times we say it's a joke, people will. They'll still contact. Yeah, can't find any tickets.

[Nate]

You'll be 310 for Yuma Rome.

[Francis Ellis]

Looks like he's about to, like, in a, you know, guttural weaponizer, mechanic voice. Be like, the way we synthesize cocaine is mine. We got jumped into MS.13 and it's.

[Nate]

15 seconds of hell for a lifetime of heaven.

[Francis Ellis]

We find the children right outside the school and we hook them young. That's how we find our new clients.

[Harry]

This is how I would do a podcast if I was talking about, like, political. That's the problem with mo. That's the problem. That's the problem we're running into right now. I got sleeper sales all over the city.

[Nate]

All right.

[Francis Ellis]

Son of a boy. Dad. Thanks, everyone. All right.

[Harry]

See you boys.

[Musical Guest]

Close was over still still underground so I looked older to you Came around I was only falling one way I was only falling one way.

[Ad Voice]

I.

[Musical Guest]

Now I come alive I was only falling one way I was only falling one way I was on only falling one way I was only falling one way that is to your eyes did you realize no one can take me alive that you can see sa.