Colin Pharrell Williams | Son of a Boy Dad #408

Summary

Son of a Boy Dad Podcast

Episode #408: Colin Pharrell Williams
Date: June 9, 2026
Hosts: Rone, Lil Sasquatch, Francis (Producer/Guest)

Brief Overview

In this episode of Son of a Boy Dad, the crew (Rone, Lil Sasquatch, Francis) dive into a meaning-of-life episode with humor and humility. With Sasquatch newly out of college and feeling "rudderless," the team riff on adulthood, masculinity, modern challenges, and their own vulnerabilities. Major topics include generational differences around adulthood, the economics of food delivery and city life, the realities of reunions, competition and self-worth, plus a deep and honest look at the pressures of comparing oneself to peers and finding one’s place in the world.

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Key Discussion Points & Highlights

1. Opening Banter & Trump Motorcade (00:00 – 03:10)

• Hosts riff on current news: Trump allegedly ripped from his motorcade by Knicks fans.
• Joking about SWAT movies and over-the-top action scenes to contextualize the absurd news cycle.
• Hand holding dating anecdotes: “I don’t think hand holding is a thing that requires consent.” – Francis (01:18)

2. World War II Veterans & American Identity (03:40 – 06:00)

• Reminiscing about respect for military, D-Day anniversaries, and public recognition ceremonies for veterans.
• Francis shares a moving family update about his brother-in-law returning from military duty in Jordan:
  “Welcome home, Captain Pisano.” (05:27)

3. Food Delivery & the Modern Meal (06:13 – 13:40)

• Discussion of the rising cost and cultural dependence on DoorDash, Uber Eats, “$28 delivery lunches,” and ghost kitchens.
  • Memorable Quote: “If the Gen Z just stops ordering $28 lunches making $70,000 a year, they'll be able to buy $2 million homes…” – Reference to ‘Mr. Wonderful’ (07:12)
• Skepticism about whether anyone in America (cities or suburbs) really cooks anymore.
• Ghost kitchens: the hosts explain how Uber Eats delivery “restaurants” are often generic fronts for the same centralized kitchen:
  “You look it up, and that place does not exist.” – Lil Sasquatch (12:54)
• The group debate whether in-person orders yield bigger portions than app orders.
• Rone’s theory: delivery culture is “the downfall of society.”

4. Uber Eats Drivers & The Great NYC Grind (13:40 – 19:00)

• The hosts marvel at the ubiquity of Uber drivers, delivery bikers, and the sheer hustle of city workers, mixing it with the chaos of NYC traffic and infrastructure.
• Traffic cops in baggy uniforms as “first line of defense” during presidential visits (11:05).
• The “multi-job grind” for many immigrant workers:
  “They're extreme Americans.” – Rone (12:03)
• Dangers and culture clashes on NYC bridges among e-bikes, cyclists, and pedestrians:
  • Francis shares stories of seeing and intervening in accidents between Uber Eats bikers and pedestrians.
  • Rone describes an angry cyclist confrontation and the daily aggression on city bike lanes.

5. Traffic, Road Rage, & Left-Lane Camping (21:38 – 27:09)

• “Left lane camping” (driving slow in the fast lane) debate, with Lil Sasquatch reflecting on his own time as a “left lane camper” in Washington State.
  • “If you’re over 55, get rid of the license. You’re not built for it anymore.” – Lil Sasquatch (24:49)
• Frustration with traffic, accidents, fender-bender etiquette on highways.
• “People who don’t know how to drive… I think I’m really good at driving. Might be one of my hidden talents.” – Lil Sasquatch (27:40)
• The idea of a competitive driving test between the hosts is floated, teasing classic Barstool “competition” energy.

6. School Reunions, Elitism, and Self-Worth (32:59 – 48:00)

• Francis attended his 15-year college reunion (Harvard), feeling out of place among his “mega-successful” former classmates.
• Honest vulnerability:
  “Here I am, you know, also wealthy and impressive. What the fuck, dude? No, don’t you— you’re very nice to say that, but seriously, compared to these lunatics…” – Francis (42:04)
• The crew discuss the social anxiety of reunions, comparing success, and realizing “these are not my people. These are my people,” i.e., showbiz folks and comedians (44:11).
• Harvard’s perpetually successful, wealthy, well-dressed alumni versus the more “regular” but genuine crowd Francis now prefers.
• “The people who don’t show up to the reunion are the ones worried everyone will judge them. I should have been at a table with the junkies, but they didn’t show. Then everyone was looking at me!” – Francis (80:24)

7. Parenting Styles & 'Meaningful Adulthood' (30:02 – 32:29)

• Playful conversation questioning the incremental value of “meeting your kids' friends’ parents” as kids get older.
• Satirical fantasy of “adopting” a neglectful parent’s child, Blind Side-style.

8. Coping Mechanisms: Stress, Habits, and Health (35:00 – 38:37)

• Francis opens up about stress behaviors (chewing fingers), new cholesterol medication, and participating in health studies.
• “I just finished a baby aspirin study... I wanted that because I felt tough.” (36:47)
• A quick detour on dog jumping competitions, dog grooming, and animal welfare.

9. Boats, Fishing, Bonding, and Candy (61:04 – 77:13)

• A segment about painted dogs at dog jumping competitions, the ethics of dying pets’ fur, and dog edibles.
• Francis and crew riff on scallop boats, humble jobs, and fishing exploits.
• Lively discussion of upcoming summer trips, hiking, and the physical toll of high-altitude outdoor adventures.
• Reflections on comfort food, wedding “candy bars,” and the artificial joy of eating candy alone by the boats.

10. Comparison, Insecurity & Looking Ahead (76:29 – End)

• Francis’ deep reflection on self-comparison, professional envy, feeling like “the disaster” at his reunion, and strategies for emotional survival:
  • “I was the worst person at the [reunion]—the biggest disaster. What you’re asking about was me.” (80:18)
  • “They’re all competing with each other. I have given in. I have resigned, honestly.” (81:32)
• The crew envision a “five-year road to the next [20 year] reunion” as a podcast arc.
• Rone and Sasquatch encourage Francis, noting the hidden struggles and inferiority complexes even among high achievers.

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Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• “I don’t think hand holding is a thing that requires consent...” — Francis (01:18)
• “If the Gen Z just stops ordering $28 lunches making $70,000 a year, they'll be able to buy $2 million homes…” — Quoting Mr. Wonderful, Rone (07:12)
• “Everyone gets really mad when people say that. I think the cup of coffee thing is way worse...” — Lil Sasquatch (07:26)
• “You look it up, and that place does not exist.” — Lil Sasquatch, on ghost kitchens (12:54)
• "They're extreme Americans." — Rone, about NYC Uber drivers (12:03)
• "If you're over 55, get rid of the license. You're not built for it anymore." — Lil Sasquatch (24:49)
• “I actually feel like I’m in the right place and that these are my people… These are not my people. These are my people.” — Francis’s catharsis after reunion (44:11)
• “You know, everyone looked better than they did when I knew them in college. Everybody.” — Francis (78:41)
• "The people who don't, didn't come (to the reunion)—they're the ones who gained 100 lbs or have track marks on their arms. I'm not going to the fucking reunion." — Francis (79:03)
• “I have a very close friend…battled some addiction issues…now his body is the best I've ever seen on a civilian.” — Francis, on recovery and replacement addictions (82:45)
• “You should have shown up with a massive TD Garden shirt on.” — Lil Sasquatch (81:02)
• "I think this is the future of this podcast. Five-year prep road to the 20-year reunion." — Rone (81:46)
• “I'm the guy that everyone else is like, did you see fucking Francis? What happened to him? He used to be on the lacrosse team.” — Francis (80:40)

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Engaging, Honest, and Self-Deprecating Tone

The cast keeps the mood buoyant even when grinding through emotional honesty about anxiety and feelings of inadequacy (“I was the worst person at the reunion”), or social frustration (“I actually feel like I’m in the right place—these are my people”). The humor is rich with topical riffs, absurd hypotheticals, and affectionate digs at one another's neuroses and backgrounds.

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Key Timestamps

• 00:26 — Trump/Knicks motorcade, SWAT movie references
• 03:43 — Chevros soccer team, dating stories, sports violence
• 04:18 — Reflection on D-Day, generational identity
• 07:12 — The “$28 DoorDash lunch” and economics of delivery food
• 12:55 — Ghost kitchens and the UberEats paradox
• 21:38 — Road rage, left-lane camping, driving gripes
• 41:19 — Reunion heartbreak, shower breakdown, using stand-up as therapy
• 44:11 — “Not my people, these are my people” – Francis’s catharsis
• 59:40 — Dog grooming ethics and cheetah-painted pets
• 68:13 — Fishing tales, largemouth bass stories
• 74:43 — The “candy alone by the boats” motif
• 80:18 — The self-identified “biggest disaster” at the reunion conversation
• 81:46 — Plan for a five-year pod run-up to the 20-year reunion

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Memorable Moments

• The group’s riffing on hand holding, high school/college dating, and revenge for “hand rape” (00:56–03:36).
• Deadpan traffic cop fashion analysis and “extreme American” Uber drivers (11:05–12:06).
• Ghost kitchen detective work—ordering “shrimp tempura sushi” from a non-existent “restaurant” (12:48–13:04).
• Francis’s vulnerable and self-skewering reunion recap, including breaking up with a college girlfriend while sitting on a shower drain, and realizing he’ll “never tell anyone [he] went to Harvard” again (41:19–48:40).
• Group debate on whether dog fur dye jobs are animal abuse, drifting into James Bond and Sports Illustrated references (57:56–59:40).
• The “candy window” at a wedding and Francis alone on the docks with a bag of sour gummies, mapping adulthood disillusionment (74:43–75:55).
• Planning an “anti-elite” intramural game for the 20-year reunion, pitched like an underdog sports movie (92:21–93:26).

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Summary

This episode is a quintessential blend of self-aware bro talk, neurotic comedy, and real emotional reflection. Ostensibly about “manhood” and finding your footing as a grown-up, it’s full of jokes but ultimately about belonging, the shifting metrics of success, and embracing one’s tribe (be it comedians, DoorDashers, or reformed “junkies”). The hosts’ willingness to lampoon themselves and each other, while also navigating diverse topics—from DoorDash “ghost kitchens,” to Harvard reunions, NYC transit chaos, and childhood nostalgia—makes for a rich and refreshingly honest conversation.

Perfect for listeners seeking both hilarious urban observations and a dose of emotional real talk about adulthood, envy, and faith in their chosen family.

Transcript

[A]

All right, let's pod.

[B]

All righty. Welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad Podcast. Today it is. What's it? June 7th? June 8th. 8th. I think it's the 7th.

[C]

It's the 8th. June 8th.

[B]

It is 1:00pm and we are here live from HQ3. Welcome back, everybody.

[C]

Donald Trump has just been ripped from the motorcade by unruly Knicks fans following game three loss.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, man. I really hope no one tries to assassinate him tonight. That would be just devastating for us.

[C]

No, it's not like, well, we're recording at our natural time, but like, they are gonna have to do the motorcade, like, in. Did you ever watch that movie swat?

[A]

I did see that.

[B]

No, I don't think I saw that

[A]

movie with Mallory Pelke.

[C]

Yes, yes, I remember.

[A]

Yeah. It was our first date and only date. I don't think I asked her if we could hold hands. Big mistake.

[C]

Why? She said no.

[A]

No, she exceeded, but that was too much. It was a bridge too far.

[B]

Yeah, it's one of those things you

[A]

don't ask, you just take hand.

[C]

Well, that's. I mean, consent. You're just ahead of the curve on consent.

[A]

I don't think hand holding is a thing that requires consent, but.

[B]

Have you ever been unconsensually handheld?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Hand raped?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I have been a victim of hand rape.

[B]

I feel like if someone was really trying to get your hand, you'd be like, what, the fog? Get the fuck out of here.

[C]

That's worse than. Yeah, sexual assault. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Anyway, backwards, it usually comes in a sports game when someone has done something illegal to you and they try to bury the hatchet by shaking your hand, and you go, I'm not ready for that.

[B]

Yeah, I'm not sure.

[A]

Get away from me.

[C]

But in the. In the movie swat, the guy. This guy gets arrested and he's like, I will give $100 million to whoever gets me out of here. And in real time, you see all the gang lords in Los Angeles being like, hold up $100 million and fucking turning up their TVs. And so all the gangs all at once try to free this guy as he's being transported by the SWAT team. And they shut down a road. They like, basically, dark night, a road where they pull a truck in the front and pull a truck in the back and try and fucking extract this guy through the sewer system or some

[B]

like that million, though, like, that's like. I feel like, couldn't you just tell the police that they do. I mean, it's only like 500 grand exceeds it by almost 100%

[C]

spoiler. But they do try to. The police do wind up in on it. So. Yes, you, you. But how. How is that not gonna happen? Like, how are they gonna get him out of the game?

[B]

Bro, there's like, there's gotta. There's definitely like tunnels and shit under msg. Like there's probably so much.

[C]

Yeah, right. To Williamsburg.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, well, obviously. But there's. There's definitely a bunch of shit that like, it's probably like one of the safer places for him to be.

[A]

You know who, by the way, you know who wasn't happy about that?

[B]

What?

[C]

Who?

[A]

Her brother, Todd.

[B]

Oh, the hand.

[A]

The hand. Todd Pelke did not like.

[C]

How did he find that?

[A]

Well, because we played on the soccer team together. But I was a freshman. We were both freshmen. I thought young love could smell his

[B]

sister on your hands.

[A]

Well, you know what he did is he punched me in the top of my thigh when it wasn't flexed. He dead legged me and then I was out for a week. Whoa. Really bad Portland game.

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

With that teammate. Then I left Chevros because it was too violent.

[B]

Yeah, Fuck that place.

[C]

Yeah, that is super violent.

[B]

It sounds like it.

[C]

That was like one of. They did the.

[B]

The.

[C]

The quiz of the team on Chevros. Like what Chevrous soccer freshman player would you least likely to date your sister? And it was everybody.

[A]

Yeah, it wouldn't have been me.

[C]

I mean it's like Stefan Diggs should have been path.

[A]

John Spring, I think ended up dating her. But he. But he's a Marine now, so I, you know.

[B]

Yeah, respect, of course.

[C]

Respect.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

250. You have to respect the Marines.

[A]

Yeah, respect them.

[C]

Iwo Jima and all that. Or D Day. D Day just passed.

[B]

What's up?

[A]

When are we. Will we know? Will we be told when the last Living World War II veteran finally passes from the earth?

[B]

I mean, we won't get like. You won't get like an Amber Alert, but like, maybe he'll get like. Like it'll be on the news probably. If they have that information, I'm sure it's like they probably have an idea.

[C]

They definitely do. Those guys are fucking desperate for the attention. True, true.

[B]

If I was in World War II, I would be telling everybody forever.

[C]

Oh my God. I'd be going to the beach, smearing the sand.

[A]

Ye.

[C]

Yeah, I definitely smear the sand.

[A]

Going up to kids building castles and being like, earn this.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, earn this.

[C]

Have you seen the clip of the guy on the Plane who? They're like, we don't have royalty in this country, but there's a man in the front row who fought at Iwo Jima and it's his 100th birthday today.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[C]

Have you seen that clip?

[A]

Of course I've seen it. That's a really good one. He starts crying.

[C]

Yeah, he starts crying. The whole plane claps. And then the pilot's like, give a round of applause and they're like, we just clapped.

[A]

Guys, not to be weird. My brother in law is on the way home right now.

[B]

Oh, hell yeah. That's right.

[A]

How fucking cool is that? Yes, yes, exactly. Welcome home, Captain Pisano.

[B]

That's great. I'm happy to hear that.

[C]

Salute Captain Pisano.

[B]

Where's he coming from?

[C]

Mission accomplished.

[A]

Jordan.

[B]

Jordan?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Was he. He was there that whole time?

[A]

For five months.

[B]

Jesus. Yeah, It's a long time in Jordan.

[A]

I know.

[C]

Yeah. But your family? Kuwait. So good. I've been listening to Drake's album.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. It's all. It's all Drake.

[B]

What, what would. What would be your go to plan? Well, I'm assuming he is like obviously he has a family and all that.

[A]

So my go to plan now would probably be don't ask to hold her hand and just go for it and then not tell Todd.

[B]

If you were coming home from Jordan five months, what's your plan when you get back to the States? Obviously like exclude all of the.

[C]

You know, I'm going right out for a $28 lunch. Definitely right away.

[B]

First thing I'm doing DoorDash $28 DoorDash and McDonald's in my fatigue.

[A]

Yeah, too.

[B]

Yeah. Just to like take it all in. There's nothing more American than dress blues.

[A]

Some McDonald's fucking sweet green and dress

[B]

blues getting sweet green after landing from Jordan that like you just go back to Jordan.

[A]

Just want to let you know the avoc. Avocado is not extra today.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

That's we hear.

[C]

Thank you. Respect.

[B]

That's your first meal coming back from war.

[C]

Salad. We're going to like cava. Need some hummus. Like did you just had hummus over there?

[B]

Yeah. What are you doing? Yeah, too locked in.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Put on some pounds.

[A]

Very stoked about that to have him back.

[B]

Yeah, that's great.

[C]

No, I said the $28 lunch because did you see that Mr. Wonderful was like, yeah, it's a fucking millen. If the gen. Gen Z just stops ordering $28 lunches making $70,000 a year, they'll be able to buy $2 million homes or whatever the fuck he said.

[B]

I'll be honest. Like, I get, like. Everyone gets really mad when people say that. I think the cup of coffee thing is way worse when people are like, don't spend $7 on a cup of coffee. It's like, well, that's how much a cup of coffee costs. But the lunch thing I kind of get because I do that. And it's like everyone is delivering. Getting their food delivered straight to their. Pretty much put on their lap in their house.

[A]

Like, that is. Is that not specific to, like, big cities? Don't. Is that not kind of like a New York, Louisiana fucking privilege problem?

[B]

I don't think anymore. I think it used to be. I think now it's like people in the suburbs are having, like, just another guy go pick up their food.

[C]

I mean, I'm doing it.

[A]

Yeah, you might be. You're probably right. I. I don't know. My. My guess, like, the reason I say this is that in. In when I'm here, my instinct is to just order because I'm fucking busy. I'm getting home late, I'm in a rush, whatever. But when I actually have this space and time to go to a grocery store cook, I'm much more likely to do that. I enjoy it. I like grilling.

[B]

Yeah, no, I agree. But I think there's a lot of people that are not grilling.

[C]

I think New York and L. A order their slop bowls, and I think the rest of the country, like, picks and shucks the corn themselves and, like, kills the cow now. Yeah, they cauliflower.

[B]

No, Chicago, like, every. All these.

[C]

What?

[A]

They carry the coals from last night's fire to. To keep them so that the story of the people continues.

[C]

Yeah, the oral tradition.

[A]

Yeah, that's it.

[B]

I mean, I've been on that salary and door dashed every meal. It's not a livable way. It's not a way to live. You don't save any money.

[A]

I actually thought you meant you've been on celery the vegetable.

[B]

No, currently, yeah.

[C]

You couldn't handle celery.

[A]

Yeah, no, that is. That is definitely a tough way, you know, because you go to. You go to Trader Joe's and you can get food for the week for 10 bucks.

[B]

10 bucks?

[C]

Not trader Joe's. Trader Joe's. You can get, like, a tray of cookies for $10.

[B]

Dude, no, like, Trader Joe's is pretty cheap.

[A]

Trader Joe's is cheap. Fully cheap.

[B]

Whole foods. Food for the week.

[C]

Food for the week.

[A]

I was kidding when I said $10.

[B]

But you can get like a thing of like chicken breast, like $9. You could get food for the week

[A]

at trader Joe's for $100. I will stand on that.

[B]

Yeah, I would agree with that.

[A]

100 bucks. You. You get a bunch of rice. Yeah, rice. You know how long rice lasts? You make one cup of rice, one cup of rice, it turns into 4,000 plates of rice. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know what kind of magic is happening there.

[B]

I don't know either. I think what we all got to do is just stop. We got all got to start boycotting the delivery apps and stop using them.

[A]

Or just maybe what we'll do is like knock the delivery drivers off their

[B]

bikes and just take the food or

[A]

take the bikes and let them know, like, you're, you're. What you're doing is not welcome here.

[B]

Yeah, but it clearly is. Like, I think Uber has a monopoly over New York City. Like, dude, if you look, if you walk outside, 75 people that are all Uber employees immediately, like, everyone's working for Uber.

[C]

Everybody's either working for Uber or they're traffic cops.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I saw so many fucking baggy pants

[B]

traffic cops out there today, big time. They're protecting the President.

[C]

It was fucking insane. Look at this.

[B]

Fucking Trump's got to feel real safe while coming into the city. Seeing people walking around in triple XL uniforms. Let me see.

[C]

They're the fucking.

[B]

I mean, they gotta. Yeah, it's. Oh, my God. You took, you just took a full video of them.

[C]

Like zoo animals. Because there's two like all blue cops and then there's these dudes in Tyler. I'm gonna go ahead and send you this video. Just drop this thing right in there.

[B]

They all got that. That just like one of those scanners. Yeah, that's all they have.

[C]

They have no weapon on him. Like if someone tries to shoot the President, they're gonna scan them.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Literally. Yeah. They'll have to scan the guy's car, give them a ticket.

[C]

They're just in the most ill fitting outfits and it's like this is our first line of defense. Yeah, this is, yeah, class warfare amongst the cops. But it's be a cop or be an Uber.

[B]

Uber Eats driver or an Uber driver. I mean, there's, there's guys that are Ubering and Uber eating at the same time. And they got a lift on the way. Like, like they're. These guys are grinding.

[C]

Yeah. And they're working in a call center too. You ever see them take this?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, they got nine jobs at once.

[C]

It's amazing. They're extreme Americans. Yeah.

[B]

Some of the Uber drivers are streaming now.

[C]

I've seen them stream and I also have seen them watch live streamers.

[B]

Oh, they're always on live streams.

[C]

They're the busiest men.

[B]

Yeah, but I think that. I think Zorron's got to shut it down. Say everyone's got to start getting their own food again. Or you order from the restaurant directly. I think it might be the downfall of society.

[A]

You know about the ghost kitchens?

[B]

Of course.

[A]

Yeah. That was something I learned about in Covid.

[C]

There's.

[B]

You'll go on UberEats and you'll be like, what do I want to eat today? Like, what would be something that you'd want to eat for dinner?

[A]

Sushi.

[B]

Now, way too generic. Give me something more specific.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You like shrimp tempura Sushi.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And then you'll type in shrimp tempura, and then there'll be a place that's just called, like, shrimp tempura sushi.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

And you're like, oh, like weirdly specific for what I was looking for. You look it up. And that place does not exist.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

There is no nowhere called Shrimp Temporary.

[C]

I mean, to.

[A]

To piggyback on that. There's a new pokey place that opened next to our office and its name is Poke Bowl.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

[A]

Because, like, who named that your three year old son?

[B]

The.

[C]

The.

[B]

The restaurants, I think, too. I don't think. I think they are working for the deliveries now. They don't give a fuck about the in person experience.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, you ever go to a restaurant that's really busy with Uber eats deliveries? Yeah, 25 minutes to get a glass of water, but they're pumping out.

[C]

You go to the Sweet Green across the street and you are. There's no chance that, like, if you order in person, you're gonna wait for an hour.

[A]

Yeah, I just did it at Sweet Green. I just did one from. In person. Yeah.

[B]

Did it take a while?

[A]

Not as bad as I would have thought it was. Okay. But it's definitely not that process of where they're moving you down the conveyor

[B]

belt of people and, like, you're no longer the priority.

[A]

Like, why don't you tighten up that hair net a little bit?

[B]

Yeah. You know, you're. You're better off ordering online and picking it up in person.

[A]

Yeah, but I still. Call me old school. I still subscribe to the belief that they're going to give me a larger helping of chicken if they know I'm there.

[C]

No, if you.

[B]

That you're there, they're furious that you're there talking to them. They're like, why aren't you just.

[A]

They're not just talking to you. They're not even talking to you now. They're making it all in the back. They've streamlined the server, the process. But hey, look, I'm probably wrong and this is total, ignorant, naive.

[B]

No, I don't think there's any really any argument.

[A]

I think there's a designation that says this is a to go. And this is like someone in the store ordered this.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I gotta believe that the guy who's shoveling my chicken is like, I'm gonna go a little heavier because he walked here and he's. He's here.

[C]

No, I don't think it's that he walked here. But I think it's like they see, they feel you glaring at the bowl and they're just like, here, just take more chicken.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Stop staring at me.

[A]

That could be they know.

[C]

Yeah, that could be you're doing them out.

[A]

But I'm talking about.

[B]

I'm not talking about like a chipotle or a kava or a sweet green. I'm talking about like an actual. Have you been to like an actual sit down restaurant where it's like they're just flying around with the Uber eats orders?

[A]

I haven't seen that as much lately. I almost feel like all these restaurants that are, you know, doing half their businesses to go orders have found some background window.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Through which they hand the boxes of.

[B]

Yeah. I just know. I went to an Indian restaurant like

[A]

two weeks ago and they are always gonna be.

[B]

I mean, it was getting the check an hour maybe.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And then there's just dudes flying in, yellow vest, helmet on.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Looking like they're stamping the snow off.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Braving the storm, walking out with nine orders.

[A]

Like, dude, it's 80 degrees out. Where have you been? How far far did you come from?

[B]

I just got to know how fast the bikes are going, that it could be 90 degrees out. And you're like, I still need the massive. The hand mitts.

[C]

No, those need all the armor that they can get. Yeah. Did you see the, the. I've been seeing a bunch of videos of people going over the. What's the bridge that goes to Long island or. Yeah, it goes to like Long Island City.

[A]

The midtown. The.

[C]

The two people died on it like last week. Oh, shit. Yeah. The quiz of the Queensborough Bridge.

[B]

I think so. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

At Gosh Bridge and. Yeah. Two people, like a bike and a scooter ran into each other on that bridge.

[A]

I told you that I saw the aftermath of two guys from, from our bridge, and I saw one.

[B]

Didn't you have to like you. It's like revive a guy.

[C]

That was a different time.

[A]

That wasn't a. An Uber Eats driver, but it was

[C]

a bike that was. Actually, there was a. It was a guy on a motorized bike who smoked a pedestrian, and I saved that guy's life.

[B]

Pedestrian.

[C]

The pedestrian.

[B]

But the, the guy on the motorized bike was an Uber Eats guy.

[C]

Now, I, I don't know. He wasn't on the clock, but he did flee the scene. And he fit the profile.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Oh, and he fit the profile?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

UberEats driver.

[A]

He had a refrigerated bag over his

[C]

shoulder that he had. He had his ponytail stuffed into a refrigerated bag.

[A]

I'm not saying he was an UberEats driver, but let's just say there was steam coming out of his backpack.

[C]

I couldn't tell if there was blood surrounding the old guy's head or tiki masala.

[A]

Frankly, I don't want to get him in trouble because I'm glad he fled the scene. The food's still hot.

[C]

It was my order. I was like, you go, I'll watch him. You run ahead. Watch this, man. Dude. A guy. I was going over the bridge the other day, minding my own business, and a spandex cyclist, a Lance Armstrong wannabe, pulled up next to me and he started shouting at me, like, had a headphone on. I took it off and I was like, what's that, daddy? And he started screaming it at me again. And he smoked somebody. He smoked another bicyclist as he was screaming. Yelling at you as he was screaming at me.

[A]

Why was he mad at you?

[C]

I have no idea. I was law abiding. I was tight to the right. I couldn't have cut anybody off. He came up camera behind me.

[A]

What was he saying to you?

[C]

I could, I couldn't hear. I had a headphone on. He was, ah. And then I took the headphone off and he got into an accident.

[B]

Did you stop or just keep going?

[A]

I kept going.

[C]

It was like behind. It was behind me.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, it was.

[C]

I mean. And then eventually it wasn't bad. They like, like skinned against each other. And eventually he went down and passed me, but he didn't say to me when he passed me the second time.

[B]

Now he's probably mortified.

[C]

Yeah, he's mortified. Like he, he was probably trying to, like, scold something, but, like, you were the dangerous rider in that situation. I wasn't a dangerous rider. Okay, guys, let's talk about factor. For me, eating healthy is not a willpower problem, it's a setup problem. Until I found factor. With factor, I'm hitting my nutrition goals this season without the planning grocery runs or cooking factor has meals built around your goals, whether that's weight loss, overall nutrition, more protein, or GLP1 support. For me, it's about protein. And I've been making the mistake for too long of only trying to get my protein in on days when I was exercising. Francis, is it or is it not super important to be getting your protein in even when you are not exercising? It is consistency that matters.

[A]

I'm so glad you asked about this, Rowan. For me, consistency is the key to protein. Perpetual protein is what I like to say. Always, always, always with the protein. I don't feel full unless I have it. And factor has been great at making sure that I get the protein that I need.

[C]

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[A]

I had that situation last spring or summer where the guy behind me got mad that I was. That I was too in the middle of the lane or whatever coming over the Brooklyn Bridge and he was screaming at me and I chased him down.

[B]

Yeah, that would. I would like, want to kill that guy.

[A]

And we got to a. We got to a stoplight and I said, you know, man, I went, you know, man, life's too short. And he goes, move out of the way. Which is exactly what he had said. But I was not in the way.

[B]

Look, he was.

[A]

I said that I wasn't pedaling the way when we were on the downhill. That's what it was.

[B]

He on it. Was he an Uber Eats guy?

[A]

Noofus. He looked like a reporter.

[B]

Yeah, that guy. He's a reporter.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Nothing bothers me more though, than when the UberEats guys are behind you and they're like trying to get around you and it's like, dude, I'm not on a motorcycle like you are. I still have to pedal the bike.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, I don't have an engine on my bike. That's purring as you go 90 the

[C]

guys in the V8 engines should not be able to go over the bridge in the bike lane.

[B]

It's like if you were driving down the highway and half the people were on horses and the other half were in Lamborghinis and you're.

[C]

And the Lambo's beeping at the Shetland pony. It's like, dude, the horse can only go so fast. Yeah.

[B]

It's like I'm doing everything I can do right now.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, man. I, I had to drive from Massachusetts to New York yesterday. And that was a, that was a battle.

[A]

It's always the worst.

[C]

What's that?

[A]

It's insane.

[B]

I think like six, five and a half. Six.

[A]

You went from Boston to New York City.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

After the graduation.

[A]

Yeah, six is heavy.

[B]

Just kept on saying unusually heavy traffic. And every time it would pop up, it would like part of me would die. I'm aware I'm in it. I don't need the reminder every 10 seconds that we're in traffic.

[A]

I had to drive on Saturday from Boston to Montauk.

[B]

Oh, that's brutal.

[A]

Which required a two hour drive, an hour and a half ferry, a 20 minute drive, a 10 minute ferry, a 10 minute drive, a 10 minute ferry and a two hour drive.

[B]

Yeah, that's pretty brutal.

[C]

That's awful.

[B]

It's a lot of fairies.

[A]

It's like Little Red riding hood times 4,000.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

That's like the Amazing Race.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Like taking all those modes of transportation. That sucks ass.

[B]

I've honestly had a lot, a lot of time to think about my previous. My previous thoughts on the left lane camping situation.

[C]

Oh, no.

[A]

Yes. No, no, no. Say something.

[B]

Well, no, look, there's two things that I'll say.

[A]

Just say the one.

[B]

The first thing I want to say is when I was originally talking about my left lane camping habit, it was in the state of Washington.

[C]

I55.

[B]

Exactly. Everywhere else in the world. I'm not a left lane camper outside of the state of Washington. But look like if you're in the left lane, so specific. And you're going 20 miles below the speed limit, like you should kill yourself. I hate you as a person and I wish nothing but the worst for you. Like, dude, the entire. My whole weekend was just behind someone going 40 miles per hour in an 80 mile per hour zone.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Honking. I'm honking at. You're honking the left lane.

[A]

Oh, that is the pot honking at the black kettle.

[B]

No, no, no. I don't even know what that means.

[A]

But calling the kettle black, you know, I tried to adapt it. The. You're. You're a left lane camper.

[B]

I'm a left lane camper. But you can't have people going the same speed on both sides.

[C]

Dude, that was probably the ghost of Christmas past.

[B]

It felt like it.

[C]

It was probably just you. It felt very similar.

[A]

Exactly.

[C]

Yourself.

[A]

That's. Thank you.

[B]

It was truly one of the most frustrating experiences of my entire life. I can't handle traffic. I'm not built for that. Yeah, I have too much, like road rage.

[C]

What were you listening to?

[B]

Silence.

[C]

Oh, God.

[B]

My thoughts.

[A]

I drive in silence too.

[B]

No, I was listening. I had some good podcasts going and whatnot.

[A]

I drive.

[B]

Son of a boy. Dad, I was listening to our podcast.

[C]

Taking notes.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

You're listening to the left lane camping.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Episode.

[B]

Nobody really is. It's. It's unfortunate and it's. Unfortunately, 99% of the time you get around the person and they're like 95 years old and it's like, maybe you shouldn't be driving at all.

[A]

I agree with that.

[B]

I honestly, I'll go as far to say if you're over 55, get rid of the license. You don't, you know, you shouldn't be driving and you're not billed for it anymore.

[A]

My grandmother, my great grandmother died in a car accident that she caused. She was 94.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. No reason for anyone over 90 to be driving ever.

[C]

That's so sad.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, I've been in the car with people who are like 90. And you're like, what are we like, the kid? We would be better off if like a 10 year old child was driving.

[C]

They at least have the instinct to stay alive.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

That's tough. But why not just pass underneath and go around on the right?

[B]

Because the right. They're going the same speed.

[C]

Pick your spots.

[B]

Exactly. I'm trying. Look, I'm doing my best. And then I also get really irritated about the people who are like manically changing lanes.

[A]

Yeah, that doesn't help anybody.

[B]

You're not going like. We're still. You're still 10ft in front of us. So you're not going anywhere.

[A]

Yeah. You're talking about in traffic.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They say that that actually hurts traffic.

[B]

Oh. At 100% does. I mean, they. Cause they almost cause a car crash every time they do it.

[A]

Well, every time they change the. That person, that whole lane has to slow down for them to come back over and they don't actually get ahead the mo.

[B]

The worst thing that happened the Whole drive was, I remember at one point, like going over, we were in so much traffic and going over a hill and then seeing the front of the traffic and being like, oh, it's just one guy just causing all of this. Like just going 30 in the fast lane.

[A]

All right, I got one more for you to add to your list. Some complaints.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This drives me fucking insane. If there's a fender bender on the highway.

[C]

Oh, I got to get a good look.

[B]

Just keep going. Just keep driving.

[A]

That's not quite where I'm going. That's not quite where I'm going. I agree. We all have to look. It's like boobs.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But if there's a fender bender on the highway, fucking pull off the highway and then exchange. Unless there's literally like a risk that a dragging tailpipe is going to light sparks that cause your car to explode. Truly, I understand the need to like preserve the scene of the accident and wait for fucking police and everybody to arrive. All that. But you see people stopped and sorting out their accident from a fender bender.

[B]

From a fender bend in the middle of the highway. Yeah. And it's, it's setting people back like three hours because they got to like, they can't just move five feet to the right.

[A]

Correct.

[C]

It's people who watch too many episodes of Law and Order sv.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And they're like, we can't touch the crime.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

That's for fucking statutory rape.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Not for fucking.

[B]

Yeah. Everyone thinks the other person is going to run off. Yeah.

[A]

Like, let's just pull into this Arby's.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Go through the drive through and rip out.

[B]

I really think it's like most people, excluding myself, are really bad at driving. I think I'm really good at driving. I think it actually might be one of my hidden talents.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I think I'm better at it than a lot of things.

[C]

I could hit up Alberto Gramercy and do a driving test.

[B]

I think we, I think we got to do some tests.

[C]

You want to do a one on one driving test, Francis? Are you trying to go against or.

[B]

I think I would. I think Francis drives a lot, though.

[A]

I do.

[B]

Yeah. But he has Tesla. I would smoke you for sure.

[C]

All right.

[A]

But I think that's, I think that

[B]

was part of why I textbook the fucking three point turning on the highway.

[C]

Yeah. To turn around like a Indian 18 wheeler driver.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Literally.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No, I, I, I have a really tough time. I'm never doing that drive again.

[A]

Yeah. It's a tough ever.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Just.

[A]

Why?

[C]

Why Just Why not just fly?

[B]

I had a bunch of too much.

[C]

Well, then you're gonna have to do the drive again.

[B]

No, never again. You're gonna do it. Last time I'm ever doing that.

[C]

I guarantee you. Do the drive again.

[B]

Nah.

[C]

I can't believe you drove that. All that in silence.

[A]

Yeah, I know. It was a long way, but you know who had a really long drive? Mallory had lived in Gorham, and she had to come all the way to the South Portland theater to meet me. We saw swat, by the way. I don't know if I ever said that.

[B]

So you gotta watch that.

[A]

That was why we. That's why I brought that up. That's the real we saw. Yeah.

[B]

Is SWAT with Jake Gyllenhaal?

[A]

No. Colin Farrell. Colin Farrell.

[C]

Feral Colin. Pharrell's name.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

With his big hat.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Calling Pharrell Williams.

[A]

We were both dropped off by our parents, but not at the same time, fortunately. So they didn't meet.

[B]

That sucks. Sorry to hear that.

[A]

Why?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I didn't want them to meet.

[B]

Yeah, I guess that would have been

[A]

weird because my dad and my dad would have embarrassed me. Yeah, he liked to. He liked to tell. He was, you know. Oh, I wonder what they're gonna get up to.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

In front of you.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And then that would probably just piss off.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

It's just, you know, it's embarrassing.

[C]

But I also, like. I'd like to meet the parents of my kids. Friends.

[A]

Yes. Right. Friends.

[C]

But not their potential.

[A]

Potential.

[B]

But I feel like, is there, like, there's probably an age where you don't want to meet your friends, your kids, friends, parents anymore.

[C]

Why?

[B]

Because at a certain point, it's like, doesn't really matter.

[C]

I think it matters. I definitely.

[B]

It matters when you're younger.

[C]

Why does it? Or just walk me through your thinking. I'm not challenging you.

[B]

Like, I. I think, like, when you're in, like, grade school, you know, you want to make sure your kids aren't hanging out with fucking Pablo Escobar's kids.

[C]

But don't you think it's more important than in high school when they. When they actually might be doing Pablo Escobar type behaviors.

[B]

Yes and no. Because I also think, like, in high school, it's tough to be, like, as a parent, to be like, you're not hanging out with this kid if you're, like, 17.

[C]

Yeah, I guess so. But just like, so you could kind of have a sense of community, of be like, hey, like we're pulling in the same direction, right?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, but what if you're not? Wouldn't you rather do like sometimes best to just not know.

[C]

You think so?

[B]

What are you gonna do?

[C]

I think that there's like, gentle, like

[B]

your, your boys are both 17. You think they're gonna have the same friends?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Probably twins.

[A]

Always have.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. So like they have one boy who, you know, he's a good kid, respectful, comes over to the house, takes his shoes off and whatnot, says please and thank you.

[C]

That I'm not worried about.

[B]

But his dad is a drinker. His dad loves the bottle and maybe your kids are going over to his house, he's panning out Shangello shots, nips of fireball. You're like, hold on, I thought, I thought we were pulling the same way here.

[A]

You could want some porn.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[C]

I got some fresh crack I've been smoking.

[B]

He's pulling out Playboys.

[C]

I'm like, hunter, is that you?

[A]

Is Mallory down there in the basement?

[B]

Center up, like at that point, I think sometimes, you know, I mean, I guess if you're a parent, you'd still want to know that.

[C]

Yeah, I want to know. Or. And then you just start parenting the kids. Parents. I would just parent this guy too.

[B]

Oh yeah?

[C]

Yeah. Just be his dad too.

[B]

You might take that as disrespect because then think about.

[C]

Oh, it would be different.

[B]

Consider this. His 17 year old is his youngest by a lot.

[C]

You're saying that he's as hitter.

[B]

He's got like 30 year olds that are. He's, he's already a grandfather and now you're trying to tell him how to do his job, how to parent.

[A]

Where is, where is this happening? Just running through scenarios like Iran, like some.

[B]

No, this happens everywhere. This happens everywhere.

[A]

His father's 17 years older than his father, who's 17 years older.

[B]

Cuz that's. You got to, you got to be ready to have like you're going to be dealing with some older parents.

[C]

Then I come to him with paperwork and I'm like, listen, have you ever seen the movie the Blind side? We're adopting your son. We're. And then we take in the 17 year old and we get him out

[B]

of the situation, get him into rehab,

[C]

clean him up, clean up the kid, clean up the dad, dry out the dad like Hoosiers.

[B]

Save the dad too. I like that.

[C]

That's what I'm saying. I parent the dad up, extract the

[B]

child, save the dad. That's what the movie this is a great plan. Oh, I think we. Yeah, I think we settled that.

[A]

Nice, guys. Hey, I have a question for both of you. Actually, I have. I mean, I have so much to tell you.

[C]

Yes, tell us.

[A]

Just.

[C]

Let's talk.

[A]

Let's talk.

[C]

We're here for it.

[A]

I just gonna. We'll start with a question. So I went to a wedding this weekend. Ron, you're a man of God. God, of course. This was a Catholic wedding.

[C]

The. Out of him.

[A]

This was a Catholic wedding. And I want to ask, since both of you knew my situation, do you think that I am divorced because we did not have a marriage before God. It was not a religious ceremony.

[C]

Oh, so it didn't count?

[A]

Correct.

[B]

Oh, so you're saying you were never divorced?

[A]

No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying.

[B]

Good, because I don't think that's the right way to go about it.

[A]

Would. I'm saying, would we be divorced if we had had our hands wrapped in the cloak holding the cross? Catholic mass. This ceremony was so much more binding.

[B]

I think this is a tough question for us to. For either of us to really answer.

[A]

Well, that's why I just went to him.

[B]

Yeah. But I will say I feel like, if anything, it might just make a divorce way more dramatic and ugly.

[C]

Well, I think that the. The two major prongs of the Catholic religion are fear and guilt. Those are, like the. The two things that they trade in. That's their currency. And so I think that I don't know your levels of fear and guilt, but I feel like it. Had you been married into a Catholic union, you would have been equipped with fucking fear and guilt in either holster, and maybe those things would have protected you.

[A]

Oh, interesting.

[B]

But I feel like it's also just like. It probably drags on a lot of marriages that shouldn't.

[C]

Right.

[B]

Together.

[C]

You probably. I mean, I'm sure you think you're

[B]

gonna burn if you get divorced.

[C]

I'm sure the best thing happened that you weren't. You weren't. You didn't have this cloud of fear and guilt over you so you could act on your own best interests. Not on the best interests of God,

[B]

of the Lord and Savior.

[A]

You know, where I did die for

[B]

our sins, though, so that's something to consider.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

On a cross, when you get divorced,

[C]

like a very violent death.

[A]

I killed Jesus, essentially, yes.

[B]

Yeah. He died for you.

[A]

With one stroke of my pen. Signed his death warrant. I feel fear and guilt leaving bakeries.

[B]

Why is that?

[A]

Well, fear because my ldl Levels are still quite high and guilt from what I've eaten. But I am going on a new medication which is, by the way, I. GPLs. It's Repatha. It's an injectable.

[B]

Oh, you're actually going on GLP. GLPs?

[A]

No, no.

[B]

Isn't that GLP?

[C]

GOP?

[A]

This is not a weight loss thing at all.

[B]

It doesn't have to be.

[A]

I don't think so.

[C]

Can we look up it for a path? Is it GLP1 peptide?

[A]

No, it's like a cholesterol lipid kind of, you know, thing to help you lower those levels internal. Decrease the risk of heart.

[B]

Yeah. Event health maxing.

[C]

No, repath is not a GLP one. Okay.

[A]

Yeah, I'm going on repatha.

[C]

Oh, it's a PCKS nine.

[B]

Oh, okay, that makes more sense.

[A]

Yeah,

[C]

until you're going on repatha. What? Where you. If you're injecting that, bro, you might as well just take a steroid. Hgh. Testosterone cocktail.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Threshold of needles, then it's fair game.

[A]

I know. And. And I just finished a baby aspirin study. A clinical research study.

[B]

Did you get paid?

[A]

No, but they did it for free. So they took labs before and after. I actually just had to take blood and I was wearing the piece of gauze with this and I thought about wearing it to the pod to have

[C]

you guys be like, yeah, you were wearing it earlier. I was wondering what that was.

[A]

I thought about wearing it to have you guys be like, what happened? And I wanted that because I felt tough.

[B]

I mean, I'll ask. What happened to your thumbs?

[C]

I haven't seen that since I first got on the Xbox.

[A]

I was delivering lo mein and the mitts had been removed after. After Memorial Day.

[C]

The fact that it is both thumbs makes it look like a gaming injury.

[B]

Both thumbs.

[A]

I had a really stressful weekend and when I get super stressed out, I chew my fingers.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

And. And the only way for me to stop is to bandage them.

[B]

Yeah. You should throw the band aid back on the arm. Honestly, distract from this one.

[A]

If I do that, then I'm going to start chewing.

[B]

Chewing your arm?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Did you get blood work? No, I was chewing through my arm.

[A]

Were you stuck?

[C]

This is 127 Hours.

[A]

Oh, no. You're thinking of that guy from 127 Hours. Yeah, man. So that was the first question I had.

[C]

Why was your weekend so stressful?

[B]

All those fairies.

[A]

I had to go to my 15 year reunion at school, which was. I was stressed about that.

[B]

I mean, that's stressful.

[A]

Stressed about it. And then I had to wake up really early on Saturday and drive to Montauk for a wedding.

[C]

Golly.

[A]

That I was stressed about.

[B]

Brutal.

[C]

That is. I mean, was it the people that you were going to see or just like.

[A]

Yeah, all that. All that. I don't know. All that. Yeah, I was.

[C]

Showing up as your best self can

[A]

be stressful, you know, I don't really know why, but it just. I was stressed coming into it and there are people that I haven't seen in many years that I don't know that I wasn't that keen to see. I went, went. Everyone was nice. It was cool. Have you been to any of your reunions?

[C]

I haven't. My 20 year high school reunion is like, now you're gonna go. No, I don't know. I haven't. I haven't heard a word about it. I would love to go.

[B]

You should go. You should like rent like a Lambo and go pull up.

[C]

Yeah. Just like walk in like Andrew Tate. Like a cigar in my mouth on the phone. Gucci loafers.

[B]

You should go and just be on beyond like on a phone call the entire time. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

So how are you? Like. No, not you.

[B]

I'm on the phone.

[A]

Yeah, sorry.

[B]

I'm in the middle. Dave Portnoy is. Yeah.

[C]

With the people that you didn't want to see, was it because you had. Had run ins with them or was it just like.

[B]

I feel like that's pretty natural. I had to go home for my sister's graduation and I was worried that I was going to see a bunch of people.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Didn't see anybody. It was great.

[A]

Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I was just in my head about it a little and I went and everyone was fine, everyone was nice. But I did have this feeling. I had a really interesting discovery. Our 10 year reunion was canceled because of COVID Oh, wow. So the last one I went to was the five year, which was a disaster because that's when I basically had a broke up with my college sweetheart for good at the reunion. Yeah, it was pretty.

[C]

What?

[A]

Torturous.

[C]

Yeah, that sounds like a movie.

[A]

I know, it was really not fun. I sat on the floor of my shower crying. That's when you know it's bad. And I was sitting on the drain too, so it started welling up over my knees.

[C]

Your ball sack just like pooling on top of the drain.

[A]

I was the drain of the shower.

[B]

Why did it have to be there?

[A]

Why not why was I weeping.

[B]

Why you wanted to end it where it started.

[A]

I didn't end it. Oh, oh. I didn't end it.

[C]

He was crying because of what he had done.

[A]

You think I'm gonna fucking plug my own shower with my nuts to because I have initiated a break?

[B]

Were you acting up at the reunion? You got. She must have got shit faced. Oh, this one fell through a table

[A]

or the first one.

[B]

The first one.

[A]

No, no, we weren't acting up. It was just that it was. It had been coming to an end and then that was the final straw.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And then to like get back on my feet, I went and performed Stand up in that state. I like, dried off from that shower and went and hopped on at the Comedy studio in Cambridge above the Hong Kong before they moved to Central.

[C]

Hey, that's what they say. Use it. Use it on stage. Go use it on stage.

[A]

I swear to God. It was kind of like an inflection point in my life where I was like, all right, in my lowest moment, there was a stage. I'm going to go that route. And I did.

[C]

So maybe this is the person that you didn't want to see.

[A]

No, I mean, I haven't kept in touch with her. Got it for the last 10 years. But look, the point is everyone. I think it was more like everyone at this reunion I knew. These are very successful, high powered people. They have kids, they are wealthy, they're impressive. And like, here I am, you know,

[C]

also wealthy and impressive. What the fuck, dude? Here I am, jacked as fuck, fresh

[B]

off of the job.

[A]

No, don't you. You're very nice to say that, but, like, seriously, compared to these fucking lunatics, this is like.

[B]

No, I imagine it's pretty.

[A]

It's brutal. Yeah, it's nuts. And I'm a fucking clown.

[B]

This is my son, Steve. He made $50 million on prediction, literally.

[A]

Wait a minute, let me. That's spot on. Swear to God. Listen to this. So one guy that I used to know a little bit in college but wasn't that close to is an awesome dude. His name is Dave Ren Towne. And I can say his name because he was really nice. He came up and he was like, you know, following along, like, looks like you're doing great. And I'm like, oh, thanks, that's so nice. Like, what are you up to? And he's like, actually, we. I do a lot of work with your company. And I was like, oh, no way. Like, what do you do? And he's like, well, you know, Lucy, the Smokeless tobacco pouches. And I was like, yeah. And he's like, I started that company.

[B]

What's his name?

[C]

Dave Rentellen, co founder and CEO at Lucy.

[A]

And I was like, dude, that's amazing.

[C]

Harvard Rugby.

[B]

Did he have one on him? Need a breaker?

[A]

I was like, we. We do reads. We Love Lucy. Like, fucking awesome. Like, that's so cool.

[B]

Yeah. That's crazy.

[A]

And he was like, fans of the POD and fans of barstool and. And are a fan of. So I was like, wow, Jesus Christ. You know, it's not like, oh, yeah, I do regional sales for Lucy. It's like, I started Lucy.

[B]

Yeah, that's pretty.

[A]

And that's the most adjacent to what I was of anyone there. Everyone else there is, like, inventing new ways to.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, make it so that fucking can walk again.

[B]

Or they're all working with injections.

[A]

They're so mega successful and out of my league. And I.

[C]

They're not out of your league, though. Who legitimately, who gives a fuck, like, what these other dudes are doing? Like, you are successful. Like, your success. Their. Their success is not a barometer for your success.

[A]

No, it isn't. But it. It was a very clarifying moment where, you know, for a lot of years, I' very proud that I went to. That I went there, and it's been a part of my identity. Right. And I think that in our world and in our circles, it's like a running joke and whatever. I'm this pompous douchebag. But the truth of the matter is that it was very clarifying to me at my reunion that those are not my people. These are my people.

[C]

Penn State grads.

[A]

State freshman dropouts.

[C]

Yeah, Penn State. I mean, Penn State Gr. Like, you go there and you are that person.

[A]

You.

[C]

You, like, seek to. That. That is the regional sales guy that you're talking to. And you can flex heavy over there.

[A]

No, but, like, this is the.

[C]

Can we just get him an adjunct degree from Penn State and honorary one? So you can come to the reunions and flex a little bit, feel good about yourself.

[A]

I, I, I. It was a very kind of cathartic moment for me to realize, like, the. What I'm doing and the people I work with with and the. This field that we're all in. This is where I feel comfortable. These are the people I want to talk to.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And I. For all my silliness and whatever, like, this is where I feel I should be. So that was cool for me.

[C]

That is nice and cool. But I Also, like, I think I

[B]

should be with Dave, to be honest. I think I'm more with David Rentel.

[A]

And why would you say it that way?

[B]

How is it pronounced?

[C]

Rentel.

[A]

Rentel.

[B]

Rentel.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

T, E, L. Maybe we should swap. Maybe I'll go to the next reunion. Just trying to do some networking.

[A]

I'm here for my 15 year, just

[C]

singing along with like a.

[A]

When did you go to college?

[C]

Barbershop Question.

[A]

Prodigy.

[B]

I got the Andy Milonakis.

[C]

I graduated 20 years before any of you. Yeah, that's awesome. But you also don't know anyone's actual level of happiness or like.

[A]

No, for sure not.

[C]

I'm gonna go with.

[B]

David's probably pretty happy.

[A]

Yeah. No one. No one is like, wearing, you know, also divorced on their name tag.

[C]

Right. Did you. Did the people that you anticipated running into that were giving you anxiety, did you run into those folk?

[A]

A little bit. You know, there was. There was this, like. There was a final club there that one of my very close friends was in. And we. After. We went to the big, like, class dinner. Dinner, which was in. At Lowell House. And it was. It was fun. That was cool. I saw all these people that, like, I vaguely remembered, you know, from like freshman year and then. And just said nice hellos and people were very kind. And then I went over to see my buddy at his final club and that was where everyone was like, none of them had gone to that dinner. They were just off on their own island, kind of holier than thou. And I was like, ugh.

[C]

Did you ever. Did you fantasize about telling anybody off?

[A]

Well, I was in their space, so it would have been.

[C]

But did you fantasize about it? I'm not saying. Did you do it?

[A]

They were all wearing ties.

[B]

No tie for you?

[A]

No, we. There was no dress code for this particular evening.

[B]

You're, like, looking up, like ties near me, Looking on doordash.

[A]

That. That group. Group at that club was what people think I am.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

And they actually are. And I was like, get over yourselves. You didn't participate in the one class wide thing that we all came here to do.

[B]

Yeah. You couldn't even come at that point.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Just to go and be like, we didn't go to the main. Main thing.

[A]

Correct. Yeah, that's exactly.

[C]

They're basically like stoners. They're like goth kids.

[B]

Yeah. It is very.

[C]

Gosh, that Rentel. Did you ever watch how high?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Was that about Harvard?

[A]

That was. Yeah. They go to Method man and Redman. Like, get into Harvard.

[C]

That was One of my all time favorite movies.

[B]

Yeah, seen it.

[C]

But they. I think they went to Level House or something like that. Was that the Lowell? Lowell House.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Lowell House.

[B]

Heart of Wall.

[C]

Yeah. That's a fucking amazing classic movie.

[A]

Yeah. I guess the point I'm trying to make is that I, from this day forward will never tell anyone that I went to Harlow. Harvard. And I am expunging myself from the records.

[C]

No, brother.

[A]

And I'll have to figure out where I went to school.

[B]

Penn State?

[C]

No, no, no.

[A]

They've got some issues of their owns.

[C]

Hopkins would be nice.

[B]

Hopkins, I think is a good choice.

[A]

Where did you go to school?

[B]

Decaney Hopkins.

[C]

Decayne.

[B]

John Hopkins DeVries.

[A]

What did you do?

[C]

Yeah, he went to the. He went to Trump U.

[A]

What was it called? I know it was in Chicago.

[B]

Loyola.

[C]

DePaul.

[A]

DePaul. I went to Loyola to Chris Paul. I

[B]

shout out St. Vincent.

[C]

Yeah, St. Vincent de Paul. Wow.

[A]

I went to DePaul and now I have enough. Someday I'll have enough money to go back there, build a library and fill it with sand.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do.

[C]

That's the problem. If you went to build it, build

[A]

a library in your name.

[B]

No, Instead of books.

[A]

I'm going to fill it with sand.

[B]

I have no hatred. No hatred towards.

[A]

Towards DePaul.

[B]

No.

[A]

But that's the point, is that you are fond of the place.

[B]

I mean, you could probably donate a sand pit to Harvard.

[C]

Sandbox. Yeah. A true sandbox.

[B]

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[A]

It's like DJing with photos for your family. I like that.

[B]

The videos are cool too. Like you'll you'll catch a video. It's nice. It's named number one by the wire cutter. You can save now by visiting auraframes.com for a limited time. Listeners can get 35 off their best selling Carver matte frame with code boydash. Dad, that's a U R A frames.com promo code boydad. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply.

[C]

But I think that if you were, there'd be so much expectation of you. If you came out of DePaul and had the career that you had, like, they would be like, come back and speak. Like, you have to donate to us. Probably, please, like, take care of us. And now it's like Harvard, like, yeah, go get one. Go get the Lucy guy to take care of you.

[A]

Yeah, they don't give a about me. But do you think that Harry is going to be recognized as.

[B]

They got too, too many big names.

[C]

DePaul does.

[B]

Yeah. They had that guy from Stranger Things.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

He's like their goat. Like, they've only. I think they, like, for a while, like, their Twitter, like, they only followed him.

[A]

Which guy?

[B]

The guy with the big hair.

[A]

Oh, the curly haired guy?

[B]

No, the guy with the tall hair.

[C]

What the fuck are you talking about?

[A]

Does that mean the guy with the super tall hair?

[B]

Like the old. The one that's older than all the kids.

[A]

Kids? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

What's his name?

[C]

The black brother.

[A]

No, no, I know. I. I was thinking that when he said that as well.

[B]

He looks Joe Keery.

[A]

Yeah, this guy was cool. I like. I think he's probably the best actor on the show, to be honest with you. Yeah. This kid?

[B]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure he went to DePaul.

[A]

He dates the girl who's really skinny in the first season.

[B]

Yeah, they got a lot of John C. Reilly, Pete Wentz.

[A]

What?

[B]

Gillian Anderson? I mean, come on. Sean Gunn?

[A]

Quentin Richardson.

[C]

Wow, it's some Hoopers. There's some absolute Hoopers at the Paul.

[A]

Harry, you're not getting a library.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

You're getting like you get the sandbox.

[C]

You could get a small one by

[A]

one cube of sandicapped bathroom.

[B]

Who is Jillian Anderson? They got her number one porn star. Really?

[C]

There's probably some great porn stars that came out of DePaul.

[B]

What does it say? I can't. I can't.

[C]

What were you guys demon deacons thinking of?

[A]

Jillian Michaels?

[C]

Blue demons.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, she's an actress.

[C]

You take a little blue demon swat.

[B]

Oh, is she the mom in sex education? That's crazy.

[A]

Holy.

[B]

Shout out to the blue demons Shout out to the demon Demon pride Blue demon, Blue demon.

[C]

Blue demon

[A]

Spade.

[C]

Damon, did you. You guys remember the. The Mexican ship?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, of course.

[C]

Last year.

[A]

Yeah, of course.

[B]

You know it's dead.

[C]

You know it's back.

[B]

Oh, really?

[C]

I saw it this past week. That can't be the same.

[B]

There's a ghost of the show.

[C]

You think it was.

[B]

Yeah, I don't think it's there because

[C]

it wasn't there today. But that means that. But, like, wouldn't a ghost just stay where it was at?

[B]

You thought you saw it. You saw it cleanly going under the Brooklyn Bridge.

[C]

People in the bow, celebrating, wheeling,

[A]

just

[C]

move right through the brook. I just couldn't believe it's back. I was like, why would you ever. Like, why would you abort that mission?

[B]

Like, because they got to get. They got. They got to see one go through

[C]

the hoop, get right back on the horse.

[B]

They might be, like. They might still be, like, devastated about that. Like, it was probably. Yeah. I mean, it was probably, like, devastating for the country of Mexico.

[C]

It was. And that's why I, like, went to the edge of the water. I was like, is that.

[B]

Yeah, like, they have that.

[C]

The fucking Mexican flag.

[A]

Imagine, though, that, like, they're rebuilding the ship and they're like, okay, yeah, low. Clearly, this is as high as we can go. And then the President's like, we don't want to go too low.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We're not admitting defeat.

[C]

We're not here. Yeah.

[A]

And then the. They hit it again, and they're like, we fucking told you.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, I would assume they. They probably want to redeem themselves.

[A]

You should have seen that. Feels like, exact. I had to hang up a painting this week in my home, and I did. I measured it, and I did two nail holes in the wall, hung it too high, and I was like, all right, well, I don't need to measure for the next one. I can just eyeball these holes went a little lower. Too high again. So now my painting is just moving down, and you can see all the holes revealing a litany of these track

[C]

marks, like your forearm.

[B]

That's one thing I do not. I do not reframe or I do not re. Once it's up, it's up.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Yeah. And it's.

[C]

Even if it's too high, if it's

[B]

crooked, if it's too high, it's staying.

[A]

Dude. I used the leveling tool on my cell phone.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

That felt really cool.

[B]

Oh, I didn't even know they had that.

[A]

Had that.

[B]

Very neat.

[A]

Yeah, that's.

[C]

I mean, that does make sense. They would have that. Yeah, it's like a bit outdated of a tool. It's like an air bubble.

[B]

Yeah, it's pretty crazy.

[C]

Yeah, that is crazy.

[B]

Pretty genius if I do say myself.

[C]

This past weekend, I went to. To Green Port.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

How was that?

[C]

Greenport. It was beautiful.

[B]

Where is that?

[C]

It's like the North Shore.

[A]

Long Island Island.

[C]

Yes. Like the. Which side is that the Occident or Orient?

[A]

If I know, this is right up here. Oh, Orient Point. Is that what you're talking about?

[C]

But I mean, the Orient and the Occident, that's the east and the West, Right? So the Oriental is like the east side, so the west side. So this is the east side.

[A]

So this would be Orient, I suppose. Isn't it more like north, south, though? The North Fork. The south fork, maybe.

[C]

I went to a dog jumping competition, though.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Was there a lot of greyhounds ones or what are the ones that jump

[A]

super high gonna be a gray out? I don't know.

[B]

Those are the fast ones, so they probably jump high as well. I had to guess. Let's go hand in hand. What.

[A]

What was that? I told you not to talk about the hand.

[B]

What was the. What were the dogs?

[C]

They had like, all different breeds, and some of them were just so fat that, like, they couldn't go like 10ft. And then like, maybe like, like 40% of them would get too scared to jump in.

[B]

Oh, really?

[C]

It was hilarious.

[B]

That sounds surprising.

[C]

And you could pay. You could pay extra to jump the dogs yourself.

[B]

Really?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Did you do it? Yeah.

[C]

Me and. Me and the family, we all jumped a dog.

[B]

That's great.

[C]

Beat the out of it.

[B]

Love that. Did you bring your own dog?

[C]

No, I think my dog would be too nervous about it. But it's a scam, though. You have to pay like $50 to get into this thing and then you. You get nothing for free. It was a. It's a beautiful little town, though. But I think people, their lives surround dog jumping. It's a fascinating. A fascinating culture. There's some people that like, paint their dogs like a full rainbow and will put, like cheetah spots on it and like that. Is that dog abuse? Is that. Is that cool or is that not cool?

[A]

Seems like it.

[B]

Definitely not cool.

[A]

And it reminds me of that movie, Gold Finger.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Where he kills the woman by painting her entirely in gold, which suffocates her skin and causes her to die.

[C]

Die. Remember how Jarring. That was to find that out as a little kid.

[A]

That is exactly right. I thought that was going to be a much bigger problem for me in life than it has turned out to be.

[C]

Right.

[A]

That, like, if I got. I'd get a little bit of paint and I'm like, ah, I better not cover the rest of my body in paint because right now I'm 10% dead. I had that feeling. I was like, I thought that was going to be a major problem.

[C]

And then. But then you crack open the. A Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition where they've done the body paint and you're like,

[B]

how can this be?

[C]

How is Kate Upton still alive?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

But I think that if you don't paint, maybe if you don't paint the small of your back, maybe that's a way around it. You don't die if you.

[A]

That's where the most oxygen enters your body.

[C]

Right. Your back breathes.

[A]

Yes, the lower back.

[B]

I didn't know that.

[C]

That's known.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, I guess, like, the thing my question is, is, like, what do you need? How do you. How do you get your dog's fur to be cheetah print? Like, do you have to, like, bleach it originally? Like, how does that.

[A]

Forgot we were talking about that.

[B]

How would that work? Like, yeah, I would assume because, like, how would you get a human's hair to be like that? It's not easy. Like, it's not like, it's just like one round of dyeing it and then your hair is like that.

[C]

I mean, it was literally, it was a rainbow and then cheetah print over top of it.

[B]

Like, if your dog has, like, black hair and you use like, like pink dye, it's not really gonna.

[A]

You might do a base paint, though. You might paint it. You might bleach it.

[B]

Yeah, that's what I'm talk. Like, then it's like, yeah, that's abuse. Like, if you're bleaching your dog's hair.

[A]

Well, but what about. I mean, like, what about frosted tips?

[B]

That's a little safer. I feel like skin.

[C]

What if you put them as a full Guy Fieri? Is that.

[B]

Is that fatty? I mean, that's more cool than anything.

[C]

I just think maybe the argument if I wanted to steal, man, the argument of the people who are painting their dogs. How different is it than somebody who is going to an extreme groomer and, like, cutting every, like, bit of hair or something like that?

[B]

Way different.

[C]

How?

[B]

I just think it is.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

I don't know.

[C]

I Had always thought that it was, but then I saw these, like, multiple people had their dogs painted as fucking cheetahs because I feel like rooming tigers,

[B]

cat or a dog is, like, similar to, like, you're kind, like, I guess in a way you're helping them. But I guess if you're, like, really going for it, it's kind of for the owner as well. But, like, if you're dying your dog's hair, that is literally only for you and, like, your friends, like, amusement.

[A]

Before I lost the dog in the divorce, we used to take it to the groomer all the time because she would get matted.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And that drove her crazy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so it was. That was for her own good.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Rather than be like, I don't think the dog necessarily wants to be neon pink or cheetah print.

[A]

No.

[B]

Probably pretty confusing for the dog. When they look in the mirror, these dogs look like they're a new color.

[C]

These dogs look super happy and satisfied.

[B]

Not buying it because they're probably giving them, like, edibles and too free, of course.

[C]

I have videos of this as well. I mean, there. People sell a lot of dog edibles. That is crazy. Crazy. There's dog edibles everywhere.

[B]

Like, how do you have to be to be like, I like edibles. My dog needs them, too. It's like, maybe they don't.

[A]

You're talking weed. Edibles for dogs.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's what you're saying. I'd never seen that before.

[C]

This is the one that's painted like, the tiger.

[B]

And I mean, this dog doesn't look happy at all. His owner's sitting on top of him.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

You went to, like. You may as well have gone to, like, a dog show. Yeah.

[A]

You went to Michael Vick's barbecue.

[B]

You. This is ugly. We might have to cut this.

[C]

Really? You think that this is going to be a blight on my. On my good name?

[B]

I mean, you paid for a dog fighting for. Pretty much.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

There were children there.

[B]

That doesn't. That doesn't help. That makes it worse. Get the children out of there.

[C]

Look at this one. This one's painted this. And it has a. Has. They're sick jumpers. They were really good jumpers. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, that is a good one. Yeah. This is Mike's. Mike Vick's famous Beans and Bowls. Baked beans and pit bulls brawling. Get. Get your plate and then come watch a fight to the death.

[B]

They don't fight anymore. They just jump.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Look at this one. Says it's absolute beauty.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's pretty sick. So was that one painted?

[C]

Yes, that one's painted.

[B]

What was that one painted?

[C]

It had.

[B]

It looks like it. What was like. It's like a patch of a cheetah print.

[C]

It's got. It's like red, white, and blue. Or it's like rainbow painted. Here, take it. Take a nice gander at that. It's rainbow painted with cheetah. With cheetah, like, print on it.

[B]

See, this is a little bit.

[C]

You think that's fly? Don't tell me you think that's fly.

[B]

No, I don't think it's fly, but I don't think it's as bad as I was imagining it in my head. Yeah, that looks like that could be. Yeah, exactly. That could have been pretty easily done. That doesn't seem too crazy. I'm thinking about the dogs, where it's like, you're looking at a. It looks like the dog's wearing a costume.

[C]

Right.

[A]

I'm thinking the problem was that I used the same hand that I used the popcorn.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So it's buttery.

[A]

It was greasy. But that wasn't my fault because we were. The bucket was between us, so I couldn't use the left dry hand. So by the time I got it, we were all. It was already sweaty.

[C]

How did you tell her brother?

[A]

But lottery. He knew, and then we just talked about it, and then he just punched me in the leg. Were you sitting on a. Sitting on the soccer bench.

[C]

Be honest. Did you gloat a little bit?

[A]

No, I was afraid of him.

[C]

You say my fingers were interlocked with hers.

[A]

I don't think I said that.

[C]

Like a LeBron handshake.

[A]

I wonder if he would weigh in. Be nice to hear from him.

[B]

LeBron, Todd. Oh, I thought. Yeah.

[A]

Where did LeBron come from?

[B]

I don't know. I thought I heard LeBron.

[A]

You know who I did here?

[B]

LeBron.

[A]

Do you know? I heard from. I heard from Andrew Decker. Feather off.

[B]

Oh, I saw that. Yeah.

[A]

He's currently working on a scallop boat.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Out of the south shore of Massachusetts.

[B]

I saw that. Yeah, he DM me, too.

[A]

No, he didn't.

[B]

We're playing CS tonight.

[C]

He's working on a scallop.

[A]

He's working on a scallop. But why did he DM me? What did he say? Did I send you the message?

[C]

Yes. Yeah.

[A]

What was it? It had nothing to do with us talking about him on the pod.

[B]

No, it did.

[A]

What?

[B]

I think he was just like, I don't know if I want to Say it.

[A]

To be honest, you can say it. No, we can cut it.

[B]

He was like, things aren't really going that great for me. I work on a scallop boat.

[C]

No, that's not what he said.

[B]

He said something like that, didn't he?

[C]

He was like. He was like, aren't going great for me.

[B]

No, I think that's like a word for word what he said.

[A]

I don't have my phone. I had to leave it with the parking attendant garage guy as a key.

[B]

I'll pull it up. I'm pretty sure that's what he said.

[A]

Well, that wasn't why he initially messaged me, though. He had not. As far as I could tell, it

[B]

was pretty much that he hadn't heard

[A]

that we were talking about him on the pod.

[B]

He said, don't feel so bad, Franny. I'm on a scallop boat out of Hyannis and I'm watching you all flying around on vacation. Lol.

[A]

Well, yeah. What was that about? That had to do something to do with.

[B]

He doesn't seem too thrilled.

[A]

Ireland, maybe?

[B]

Position?

[C]

No, he's on the high seas. I don't. I think you're misreading that. I think Decker Feather off's doing damn well.

[B]

I think he's referring to. He's on. He's on a scallop boat in Hyannis, and Francis was, like, golfing in Ireland.

[A]

Yeah, but look, ADF always wanted to be. Always wanted to be on the open water. That's what he aspired to.

[B]

Well, then it looks like he's done his job.

[A]

He's doing his job. He's doing his dream.

[B]

Enough scallops. Job's never done.

[A]

No.

[C]

I don't even know how scallops are harvested.

[B]

Neither do I, but they're damn good, I'll tell you that.

[A]

Yeah, I do like a good scallop. Don't cook it for too long.

[B]

Oh, no.

[C]

A nice sear.

[A]

Some people brown butter.

[B]

Yeah, I caught a big old bass this week. Big old bass. I might be a bascot now. Lake.

[C]

Really?

[B]

On the Sanko.

[A]

Where'd you get it? Where was it?

[C]

In the Sanko.

[B]

Upstate New York. Yeah. Yeah, it was a beast.

[A]

Did you go to my house?

[B]

Yeah, I went to your place.

[A]

I wondered why the door was unlocked.

[B]

No, but I caught. I mean, this bed is too small. There were fish. I've never seen a. Like, I found the honey hole of upstate New York. Yeah, I've fished lakes in New York for bass. I've never. I've fished for. I Don't fish for bass that often. I'm mostly a trout guy, but I've never seen anything like this in my life. Like, looking and just like, bass, like this big, just like. Like I was outsized. My lures were too small. I was using.

[C]

Were you on a boat?

[B]

I was.

[C]

You?

[B]

Yeah. I was using a little. Little crappy, like a little bluegill.

[A]

Yeah. Right.

[B]

Type L lure. And the. The small fish were going for it, and the big fish were trying to eat the small fish that were going for my lures.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Then I threw on the worm. Little Texas rig.

[C]

Interesting.

[B]

Job's done after that.

[A]

How many did you catch?

[B]

Probably caught like, like 15 small guys.

[C]

Exactly.

[B]

One big guy.

[A]

One big guy.

[B]

Yeah. And then once I got the big guy, I was like, all right, job's done. Yeah.

[C]

Damn, that's so nice.

[B]

It's all about the chase for the one for the first big guy. I. I've never really been in a position of fishing outside of maybe on saltwater, where you're, like, just catching big fish over, like. I feel like it's always like 10 tiny fish leading up to one big fish.

[A]

What. How big was the bass? It was.

[B]

Biggest bass I ever caught.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Largemouth. It was probably like. I mean, it wasn't like, massive. It wasn't like. Like a. Like, I'm sure all of our listeners would probably be like, that's actually tiny. And you don't know anything about fishing, you retard. But I would say it was a good sized bass. Probably like 17, 18 inches.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Keep it.

[B]

No, you know, I don't think people really keep largemouth.

[A]

No, you don't keep.

[B]

They're very. There's not a lot of meat on them. There's, like, hollow. You can see straight through them. It's actually pretty crazy.

[C]

You could turn them into bongs, though. True.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I didn't say anything about eating it.

[B]

Yeah, true.

[A]

Can you.

[C]

You did you hollo it out and make a bong out of it. All you have to do is poke the side like you're of a gas. Gassy cow.

[B]

Yeah, No, I think he was referring to the bowl. The bass bowl.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

The bass bowl's smoking a little harder. Ever since I hit this. Ever since I pulled that one in, though. I'll tell you that.

[A]

The one I give you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Since you recognize that? It's a bass bowl.

[B]

Yeah. Now I'm supposed to go out to Wyoming soon. Wyoming get a little bit more.

[C]

Are you going out to. To Omen? When are you Going out to Omen,

[B]

I think the 4th of July week sometime around then.

[C]

Bo.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, Peters. Peters will be there.

[C]

Nate.

[A]

Nate.

[B]

I don't know if Nate will be there. We're trying to get him there.

[A]

So you got room for one or two more?

[C]

Technically, yeah, I ain't going.

[B]

But somehow this was supposed to be the year that we did like an easy trip trip, like kind of more relaxing, more like, you know, sitting, maybe. Maybe we cook dinner in a Airbnb hang out.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, and suddenly now we're going on a 10 mile hike. That's Peter's equipment.

[C]

That had to be Peter.

[B]

So I just didn't even say anything because I was like, I literally have zero interest in doing this. But if I say anything, they're just gonna be like, you can't walk five miles. Yeah, it's like, no, I can. I don't want to. I'd rather just drive to the river.

[A]

Harry's gonna be like, I'm gonna tell you guys, I'll catch up. Next thing you know, peeling in in a helicopter overhead.

[B]

No, that's literally what it is.

[C]

I thought that he was getting hello act. I thought. I thought they were taking him out in the helicopter.

[B]

That's what it is every time, though. And that's what it'll be this time. It'll be like, you know, they wait and then you catch up to them. Then they stop waiting and then they go. And then it's like. Well, I actually, technically, I never really had a break there, you know? Know you guys had a break when you were waiting for me. And then as soon as I caught up to you, we started going again. So now I'm. I'm just on a marathon right now. No stopping.

[C]

You can't let them walk faster than you, though. It's simply walking.

[B]

I'm not. I'm not built for that. I'm not good with, like, the altitude changes.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Like going from New York to like eight to. To like 11,000. Altitude.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, I get like winded. I mean, obviously, I'm also just not in good shape, but I get like wind. Even when I was in good shape, I would get so gassed from that.

[A]

I get the headaches. That's the worst for me.

[B]

I don't even get that. I literally just feel like I'm not getting any oxygen.

[A]

I get headaches and I get nosebleeds.

[B]

Really?

[C]

Yeah, really.

[A]

Really.

[C]

Is that why they call them the nosebleeds? Because you're up so high?

[B]

Probably. There's gotta be but like Matt lives at 11, 000ft. So like then when we go and, and, and, and Bo lived in Denver forever. So like we would go on these trips and I would be like, yo, I can't breathe. And they'd be like, it's. This is. They're like, look, it's. This is all in your head. Like it's not a real thing. And I'm like, no, it literally is a real thing.

[A]

It's insane that they said that.

[B]

You guys are at 11, you live higher than where we are right now. So obviously they're not going to feel it.

[C]

Well, what's something you could do to like even the playing field?

[B]

Something that like throw maybe some ankle weights on them or like bring one

[A]

of those, those little to go oxygen. Can I use those? Those are great. I like those.

[B]

Oh, I feel like those don't do shit.

[A]

They definitely do.

[B]

And I feel like when I use them, I just want to use it the whole time.

[A]

You do want to hit it? Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Immediate the little ones, you get like one breath.

[A]

Yeah, but you got to get one of the big ones.

[B]

Yeah, maybe I will. Maybe I will.

[A]

Because you never know if you'll be passing another hiker on their way down who needs it to hike on their

[C]

way down from the summit.

[B]

Oh, I see.

[C]

We're talking Everest. We're talking the traffic jams that have been at the top of Everest recently.

[A]

Has there been.

[B]

Has that been in the news?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What are they saying?

[C]

Bad standstill traffic. It's like you. And there's people camping out in the left lane too on the way up to up Everest.

[B]

I have seen that. Isn't the. I think the. The Everest climb climbing time is. Is it now or is it May? I thought it was March.

[A]

I think it's April and May.

[B]

It's April and May, I think. Yeah. They only have like a 30 day stretch or something. The weather.

[A]

Climbing season. Yeah.

[C]

And everybody wants to do it. Everybody's got their.

[B]

We could definitely do it.

[A]

Might need you to double check that there, Tyler.

[B]

Yeah, there's definitely some climbers.

[A]

When is climbing season at Everest?

[B]

These guys don't know anything about climbing.

[C]

Climbing. These guys don't know anything about summoning Everest. An activity done by like 3, 000

[A]

people ever march through May. All right, I'll give us both credit.

[B]

Oh, wow. I said March. You said May. Yeah, but they do list March 1st.

[A]

I did say April and May, which means I'm 2/3 right. And you're one third. Right. So.

[C]

Oh, man.

[A]

And peak summit attempt. Peak attempts are in mid to late May.

[C]

Peak.

[A]

Oh, that's a. That's a full credit for me. That's a full credit.

[C]

Peak summit attempts. Is that like the peak amount of attempts or are they talking about the peak of the summit?

[B]

I'd assume the peak of the summit.

[A]

That feels redundant.

[B]

Could be either.

[C]

Or peak summit attempts, like the peak and the. Yeah, that's. That's interesting.

[A]

Guys, I've been drinking too much.

[B]

Yeah, we can tell.

[A]

I'm going to. To. I'm going to crank it back a little. That and the candy is out of control. And I blame you for the candy.

[B]

I've been on the candy bad.

[A]

You have? I always am trying to find things for us to have in common, and I don't know why I thought that candy would be something we could bond

[C]

over breakfast at Tiffany's.

[B]

I've been on the candy real bad.

[A]

Candy's been out of control. This wedding had this candy station, and I just flocked to it like a function is crazy.

[C]

What kind of candy candy?

[A]

It was amazing. It was just this makeshift wall that had these gigantic plastic buckets that had sour patch, watermelons, regular sour patch, gigantic amount of skittles, sour gummy worms.

[B]

Wait, so was it like the real ones? Clear boxes?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

That's my bread and butter with a scoop. Yeah.

[A]

And you take a little bag, a little paper bag, and you just make your own mixed thing. Yeah, And I did that. And then I went out and watched the boats.

[B]

That's like the best kind of candy that you can find.

[A]

Insane.

[B]

Is in those bags.

[C]

Were you high as hell?

[A]

No, just lonely.

[C]

Just regular.

[B]

When I was younger, we used to go in Cape Cod, a big bag

[C]

of candy and watching the boats.

[A]

Watch the boats.

[B]

Nobody knew I was gone when I was really young. You should have just gone home. I would have just gotten out of there.

[A]

There were big boats that had lights on, and I thought, well, maybe one of those people will invite me in, show me their boat. Hell, no, they certainly did not.

[C]

You wore the big H on the chest. Maybe they would have invited you in.

[A]

Yeah, maybe. Maybe. I'm not doing that anymore.

[B]

Get the helmet. Did you bring the helmet at least to the. To the party or to the reunion?

[A]

No, I did not.

[C]

Tux in the helmet.

[B]

You should have showed up with it on.

[C]

Yeah, you would have got on a boat if you had the tux in the helmet.

[A]

I still have a strong allegiance to the lacrosse team, but to the. To the school and to my class. I feel very Disconnected and disillusioned.

[B]

I feel like that's normal.

[A]

I don't think so.

[B]

I feel like it is.

[A]

Why?

[B]

I don't think a lot of people are that like. I feel like, what Was this? The 15 or 15.

[A]

15. Mm.

[B]

15 years ago. I mean, people are moving on. Yeah, I bet there's a lot of people that left that party and were like, yeah, we're never going to one of those again.

[A]

I would think so. We also set the record for the highest attendance ever at a 15th year reunion.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Because again, it's because our tenure was canceled, so nobody. Nobody got to go to like, we hadn't been in so long. Yeah, I think it was almost half the class went.

[B]

That's crazy. Do a lot of them live in Boston still or they all just fly? A fair amount of them fly into the private.

[C]

Private airport. Must have been. Yeah, that everybody's 36 issue.

[B]

You need a ride? We're back to the hotel. Back to New York. Go back to the city.

[C]

Got to get back for the Knicks game. Carl Young says that by 35, if you. If you don't confront your shadow self, that it will. It will take over.

[B]

What is your shadow self?

[C]

It's the dark parts of yourself that you haven't acknowledged. Oh, wow. The pain, the suffering.

[A]

I feel like I've only been living as my shadow self.

[B]

Yeah, me too. I feel like that's all I acknowledge is the pain and suffering.

[A]

Where's the. Like, where's the physical me? Where's the light guy? That guy's been on vacation. He's been eating Candy on boats 17 years.

[B]

The other version of you is on the boat watching you eating the candy.

[A]

Don't let him in. Don't let him in.

[C]

Has to shadow self. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go. Drive, Drive. I'll explain later.

[A]

You have no idea how miserable he is.

[C]

Oh, man. What were you about to say?

[B]

You better.

[C]

You were about to spin some kind of yarn.

[B]

Well. Was I?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

No, I think I said everything with the. I was saying I was gonna say that thing about the reunion that I feel like people are leaving. I feel like a lot of people are leaving. That like everyone there. I'm never going back.

[A]

I don't know about that. It was pretty positive. I don't think people.

[B]

But at nature, people are not positive. People get in their cars and they want to complain and make fun of.

[A]

That's a very cynical way to view it.

[B]

I just think it's the way that people are. Maybe that's the way that I am.

[A]

I'm very cynical. But I feel. I feel like I've earned it.

[B]

But I feel like that's just how, like, you, like, you know, you do something with a group of people and then you leave and then you discuss.

[A]

Yeah, maybe. I think. I think that. That. My guess would be that those discussions were like, wow, everyone looked pretty good. Did you talk to so and so something's wrong with that person, but overall, everyone was solid.

[B]

Yeah, that's a very positive outlook on the world.

[A]

I think that dinner parties in the suburbs. It's everyone there.

[C]

I think that there's.

[B]

I think people are leaving. This guy gained weight. That girl's on drugs.

[A]

These people did.

[B]

This person's on GP1.

[A]

I'm not just saying this. Everyone there looked better than they did when I knew them in college. Everybody.

[B]

And that's what people are talking about. And I thought about that she has a more on.

[A]

And I said, well, I said to my friend, I was like, why did everyone there looked amazing? Why did they all look better? He goes, because think about it. The people who don't didn't come.

[B]

Yeah, true, true.

[A]

Anyone who's gained 100 pounds or like, you got to get track marks in their arms is like, yeah, I'm not going to the fucking reunion. I'm not going to the fucking college reunion.

[B]

I feel like to go to a college reunion, you got it. For every pound you get, you put on, you got to also come with another million in the pocket. So if you put on 100, like, you got to be worth 100 million.

[A]

Yeah, that might be it.

[B]

That's the only way you can go.

[C]

Was there anybody that was fat as there?

[B]

No, no one's fat as.

[C]

Statistically, that's not possible.

[A]

Bro, think about it. First of all, like, I don't know. I'll just say it. I would say a third of my class was Asian and Asian American. And they don't get weight. Yeah, they don't gain weight.

[B]

That explains.

[A]

They're all trim and put together.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Then the rest of the people there, you know, it's. It's like what I said.

[B]

So there was no one that was like, that guy's definitely on blow.

[A]

Not that I saw all the. Anyone who.

[B]

No one's chewing their jaws.

[A]

I mean, I. I bet you. I bet you there were a lot of people there that are sober. I bet you that. I mean, I know some of my friends who have. Who have decided to become sober.

[B]

So you got to take that. You got to. Next time Cuz let's. We got to start thinking. Thinking about the 20.

[A]

Let's put it this way. I was. I was legitimately the worst person at the.

[B]

No, no, no.

[A]

I was the biggest, like, disaster.

[B]

So we gotta start planning for the 20.

[A]

I. I should have had. I should have been at a table with like the junkies with the track marks, but they didn't. They had the grace not to show. And then everyone was looking at me

[B]

like, wow, this is insane.

[A]

What you're asking about was me.

[B]

No, it was.

[A]

Yes, it was. Was. I'm the guy that everyone else is like, did you see fucking Francis?

[B]

There's no way.

[A]

What happened to him? He used to be on the lacrosse team.

[C]

What? Are you going to still be on the lacrosse team?

[B]

I would. Joe, next time. What you should have done for starters is you should have shown up with like a massive, like TD Garden shirt on.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Like. You guys been to the Garden at all recently?

[A]

Yeah. And they'd be like, you opened.

[B]

Yeah, they'd be like, we own it actually.

[A]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

We actually bought it.

[C]

We have a box on T and D. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I think that the comparison pangs that you felt that were driving you crazy. I guarantee that the other men that you graduated with have those same comparison pangs.

[A]

Yeah, they do.

[B]

And they all hate their wives. Like, they're probably looking at you like Francis really figured it out.

[A]

No, dude, I don't think they're thinking that, but I do agree that they are. They are competing with each other. I'm not, I'm not competing with them. I have, I have given in. I have, I have resigned, I honestly

[B]

think from the match. I think this is the future of this podcast.

[C]

I think it's a five year prep

[B]

road, 20 year reunion. Road to. Road to year road to the 20 year reunion.

[A]

I like that.

[C]

And what.

[B]

And then we'll probably end the podcast after. That'll be the finale.

[A]

I have a friend. I have a very close friend. I. I think, I think he'd be okay with me saying this. So he's battled some addiction issues and he's been sober now for a couple years. And I. I haven't really seen him.

[B]

You got to put him on the.

[A]

Dude, this guy, this guy had a body. Cause we were playing pong. He was drinking non alcoholic beers at the reunion at our club before. We went there for like a pregame and then went to the class thing. We had the grace to come to the class thing. And so they didn't have the AC on And the clubs was super hot. We're all wearing, like, dress shirts, so we decided to have a little throwback, fratty kind of frequency.

[C]

You guys popped tops?

[A]

We popped. Well, really? Really just. Yeah, it was only, like, me and him.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And his body is the best body I've ever seen on a civilian. Yeah, he was, like, cut and ripped as if he was ready to shoot a marvel scene.

[B]

Isn't that like, sometimes that's, like, a little uncomfortable almost, though, you know? You're like, whoa, who is this for?

[C]

Well, he was an addict.

[A]

I was impressed.

[C]

And now he's just addicted to that.

[B]

Yeah, I guess that is true, if you may be. Addiction like that, you got to get something.

[A]

At least it's helpful, healthy, you know?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

You gotta tip your cap.

[B]

Can't knock it.

[A]

I was impressed.

[B]

I attempted to knock it, but I think I failed.

[C]

I think it's a valid knock.

[B]

No, I think it's a valid. I think I'll tip it. I think I've decided I'm gonna tip it instead of knock it. Good for him. But you should, like, next time, you should talk to him and be like,

[A]

yo, like, he's my friend.

[B]

Yeah. Like, so you should get it. Like, be like, yo, I'm gonna put you on the spot. Make fun of your addiction a little bit. Like, just to kind of make myself look a little better.

[A]

No, I think what I'll do is I'll be like, here, try this beer. You're. You've earned it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

No, so, like, make him look bad together.

[A]

Sit at the junkie table.

[B]

No, no, no, no. I think you bring him over to the nice table, and you're like, you want a beer? And he's like, no. And you're like, why

[A]

not even one?

[C]

Handle it. Like, it's just a beer.

[B]

We're adults. It's not like there's too much about

[A]

his body, clearly, but I think that that's an.

[C]

Another leg up you have on the other guys.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Only still going would take their shirts off.

[A]

Yeah, no, they.

[B]

They.

[C]

Well, yeah, like, the other guys weren't comfortable enough with their bodies. They probably went home and they're telling their wives on the drive home, I need to get a personal trainer. Did you see Francis? His shirt off? He looks incredible.

[A]

You know, you are an amazing friend and. And an absolute perpetual force of. Of lifting your friends up. I think if you had come to this reunion, you. You, for one time, you would have been like, yeah, you're. You're right, dude.

[C]

They had great bodies.

[A]

No, Just like, everyone's doing way better than you are.

[B]

What were. Like, what were people. Was there any, like, super flashy fits? Like, anyone wearing anything? Like, whoa, that guy's walking in a million dollars right now?

[A]

No. If anything, it was me wearing stuff expensive to give off the air of success, when the reality is that everyone else was dressed, like, wearing Louie on the bus because their LinkedIn speak for themselves.

[C]

Yeah. They're like, oh, this is a. A billion thread count Italian suit. Like, I don't need to. This is quiet luxury.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What do you think you could have done different?

[A]

Not become a comedian?

[B]

Well, no, outside of that. Like, what do you think you could have done at this reunion different? Like, do you think if you showed

[A]

up with, like, probably get my earplugs three months sooner so that they were coming in a little bit more for, like, forcefully get back on creatine. Push a little harder on social media for the last two years instead of the kind of, like, tepid dance that I have with it. And then.

[C]

Have any of them been on Netflix?

[A]

More spots. More spots.

[C]

Has one of them been on any Netflix show

[B]

leading up to the reunion? That feels very unnecessary.

[A]

Two years of, like, real effort leading up to the reunion. There would have been a halo around my head.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

People would be like, you know, because people were like, are you still doing the comedy thing? That's the way they asked the question.

[B]

Then you gotta be like, comedy. You're still with your ugly wife. I saw that. Like, you got to throw it back.

[C]

Give it back. She looks like she has a limp.

[B]

Yeah. I saw you're still with your old wife.

[A]

Yeah. The Medal of Honor winner who was shot in combat. And they stuck together because they actually loved each other.

[B]

That's tough. Yeah. You can't win that one.

[A]

Oh, yeah, I know, I know.

[B]

I'm just trying to think, like, I feel you weren't throwing enough shots back. I feel like they're throwing a lot of shots your way and you're not dishing anything back.

[A]

It would have been incredibly petty for me to return fire to these kings,

[C]

but these seem like queens.

[B]

That's. Yeah, that's why you got to throw it back.

[C]

This. This, like, are you still doing the comedy thing? Is the, like.

[B]

Like, are you still throwing remark. Yeah. Are you still gay?

[C]

Oh, you have a little comedy.

[B]

Yeah. I remember in college you were gay. It's crazy to see you here with a wife and kids.

[C]

Does she know? Because I'll tell her right now if you haven't. Like, I'll just Pop the bubble. Like, these dudes seem like. Like. Yeah, I think that.

[A]

No, they. They. You know, I just. There were some people that were incredibly kind and were like, we've been following you. We love watching you eat shrimp, but you're on desk. Like, even saying how people know me versus the way they know each other is so fucking insane to me.

[B]

Who is, like, the richest person there?

[A]

Oh, dude.

[B]

What, are they working? I do. Well, you don't have to say their name, but who were they?

[C]

There's definitely. There's definitely.

[A]

There's people who are now who have a billion dollars in the bank, whether it's on paper, not either on paper or not even on paper. Like, liquid.

[B]

Yeah. I think then you got to multiple them. I think the angle you take is pedophilia.

[C]

Right.

[B]

And so you start going up to

[A]

them being like, it's always gonna be you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It always comes back.

[B]

I remember when we were in college, like, you were really into, like, Epstein's body of work and, like, everything he had achieved in the finance world. Still.

[A]

Remember when we were 18 and freshmen, and you were the one arguing, like, it's probably still okay to take high schoolers, and then you never gave up that argument.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I think that's the route.

[A]

You still making that? You still making that argument, you freak?

[C]

Or just imagine the demons that you have to have to chase and acquire a billion dollars. Oh, imagine how dark your mind is. Imagine how. How little you're at peace with yourself. You think you're not at peace with yourself? They're chasing down a billion dollars and cracking.

[B]

They're probably thinking about, like, the intern that they, like, shot dead because they saw something they weren't supposed to see.

[A]

Yeah, they threw a. Yeah, they're probably like, I wish I hadn't shot him in the head. I should have shot him in the foot first. Teach him a lesson.

[B]

Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Nothing can get in those people's way.

[A]

No, no, they'll kill.

[B]

You got to be a killer. You got to.

[A]

No, I. Look, I don't feel sorry for myself. As I said, the takeaway was that I actually feel like I'm in the right place and that these are my people and that I don't need to, you know, fit in with the class of 2011.

[C]

You think framing somebody for a crime would help? Like, maybe making it seem like someone really successful, like, take them down a

[B]

peg or, like, if I'm you, I'm hiring private investigators, and I'm like, find anything you can on Everyone here.

[C]

Or I'll put in like the.

[B]

And it's all coming out.

[C]

Putting the drugs in the pocket in the coat room.

[B]

Yeah, but why do.

[A]

I should have called the cops.

[B]

That would have been the power play.

[A]

Why would I win by bringing them down?

[C]

That's the only way to elevate yourself.

[A]

No, that's the yes, elevate yourself is

[C]

no, but I mean, I'm saying, like, if you stay still and everybody goes down, you naturally elevate.

[A]

But if the pack is ahead of me, it's. Isn't it easier for me to try to catch up than to just shoot

[C]

them in their backs?

[B]

Trying to catch up to a billionaire is tough.

[A]

I'm not better off with billionaires. I'm trying to catch the reformed junkies.

[B]

No, you're above the junkies.

[A]

No, they've kicked it and they're now killing it.

[B]

Well, yeah, but that's a unique case. You're above the junkies and they'll never

[C]

have kicked it like, you know, the back of their mind. It's always the fucking H. I need to find.

[A]

Yeah, the big H. I need to find all the people who did not attend the reunion and hold the reunion for us.

[B]

Yeah. Or put them on blast. Like start. That's. I think this might be your way in.

[C]

Yeah. Circulate images of them.

[B]

Be like, this is why this person didn't go. Yeah, he's sick and he's on drug addict. And like get that in, like the Facebook group. And be like, I just want to point out some people who weren't there. But we were probably surprised, weren't there.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

How many years behind Zuckerberg are you?

[A]

Probably like seven. Six. Seven.

[C]

So imagine everybody that went to Zuckerberg.

[B]

You think Z go into the reunion?

[C]

Of course. Drop out.

[B]

Drop out when he was 19.

[C]

No, I'm sure he. I'm sure he went.

[A]

He did drop out. But yeah, I mean, he may not have gone. I'd be curious to know if he went.

[C]

But like, imagine the other people who like have this like dick envy and they see Zuckerberg there and you're a billionaire trying to be like, yeah, I'm a billionaire. And then Zuckerberg's over there like with a 100 multiple of your billion dollars.

[B]

True.

[C]

And then they're chasing him and they're trying to put pedophilia on Zuckerberg.

[B]

Yeah. Not someone. Yeah, exactly.

[C]

You need to get. You need to find like minded people so as a whole, you guys can take down the top of the class by 20 year reunion.

[B]

I like that. Next time you should show up in like the aoc. Eat the rich, tax the rich. What is it?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Dress that she war and maybe go like. You know how in like Korea you can like rent a man to be like. Or you can like rent a father or something like that? I think you renting like if you want to rent a family, unless maybe you'll have one in five years, but like renting a full family.

[A]

Doubt it.

[B]

I think you showing up in like a white suit, like a, a fully

[A]

white suit with family in five years. I'm just trying to be alive. Golly. And I'll tell you you what I would like to. I liked where we were going here, which is that I think I'm going to find all the people who didn't attend and then try to convince them to attend the 20th and then set up some sort of, call it intramural softball game. Yeah.

[B]

Really put them on the spot.

[A]

Me and the fucking replacements. Like a Paralympic games versus the, you know, the elites. The elites who came and watched, we kind of find some way through trickery and deception to beat them.

[B]

The problem is, are you worried that some of the elites might not show to the 20 year? Because what if we do all this hype up to the 20 year and then we get there and it's all bombs?

[A]

Yeah. The 20 year people, they're not going to be there because the UN's going to be in session.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, wow. Yeah.

[B]

Fuck.

[A]

They'll be like, sorry, I was at the G20 summit posing next to the leaders of both the free and the non free world.

[C]

There'll be a Camp David.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Playing Wiffle ball.

[C]

But then, no, that's the best case scenario. If only the fucking schlub show up, then you are the fucking person that they're all chasing after. They're like, I'm nothing like Francis. I should have fucking never showed.

[A]

But then there will be an asterisk next to our. Our victory.

[C]

Who gives a fuck?

[A]

I agree.

[C]

A victory is a victory.

[A]

All right, all right. Good fun.

[C]

We worked through that.

[A]

Well, thanks for therapizing me past that.

[B]

No, I had a great time.

[A]

Really fun. Everybody, everybody. I wish I could say that I have something fun coming up, but I don't.

[B]

I'm gonna be in North Carolina next weekend at Dead Crow Comedy Club.

[A]

Cool.

[C]

We are going to be in Chicago next week. So if you've made it this deep into the episode, comment on the video. Who you would like to see us talk to in Chicago. Who would you like to see us have on the the show in Chicago and also upload this video. And please subscribe to this channel. It helps us tremendously, honestly.