Files on Files | Son of a Boy Dad #372

Summary

Son of a Boy Dad #372 — Files on Files

Date: February 3, 2026
Hosts: Roan, Francis Ellis, Dave Portnoy

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Episode Overview

This episode centers around the fallout and drama of “the Bush” (Barstool’s competitive Call of Duty minors team), recent changes and tournament stories, wild behind-the-scenes tales, and an unfiltered deep dive into the latest revelations from the Epstein files. The group weaves their signature blend of irreverent humor, storytelling, and conspiratorial banter—moving fluidly from esports management, to scam stories, to existential rants about power and evil in the world.

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Key Discussion Points & Timestamps

1. Bush Esports Drama & Tournament Recap

[00:13 – 13:00]

• Big Tournament Weekend: Roan recounts the team’s trip to the first major of the year—they finished 2nd out of 100+ teams, earning $18,000.
  • “We made it to Sunday. We came in second place overall.” — Roan [04:27]
• Team Tension & Redemption: The Bush was mired in infighting (“locker room problems,” strife after a star player went pro). Roan explains how hanging together in-person improved chemistry.
  • “There was a lot of problems leading up to this week, but I think once everyone got in person…everyone was just having a good time.” — Roan [09:13]
• Esports Lingo: Amusing tales about how players use gamer lingo in ordinary life, e.g., describing how tired they are as being “one shot” or “lagging.”
• The Sass Pack: Sass’s efforts to boost team morale, including snacks and keeping vibes high.
  • “I take care of my boys. They're calling it the Sass pack.” — Roan [07:44]
• Rival Styles: Roan describes playing against Saudi teams backed by vast resources, unique playstyles, and the aura of playing for “America.”
  • “The Saudis are big in the esport world…and they're trying to like, take it over pretty much.” — Roan [15:12]
• Content Over Competition: Victory and deeper runs mean more stream hours and content, underscoring how the entertainment angle is just as crucial as winning.
• Documentary Tease: Roan’s keeping certain drama vague as it’ll appear in a Hard Knocks-style doc:
  • “We're gonna have a whole hour and a half documentary.” — Roan [11:39]

2. The Nature of High-Drama Esports Teams

[13:00 – 23:00]

• Is It Worth Buying Into The Pro League? Francis hypothetically offers $200K to boost the team, launching a conversation about the economics and morality of “mercenary” players in esports.
  • “I don't want them to just be mercenaries.” — Francis [14:38]
• Staying in the Minors: Roan advocates for keeping the Bush in the minors for now: more play, more content, less financial/stress risk.
  • “The minor league is kind of like a glitch in a way.” — Roan [19:13]
• Team Chemistry: It’s revealed the players are actually close, with their constant bickering masking a deeper sense of competitiveness and friendship.
  • “They're like best friends…that's why they are.” — Roan [22:28]

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3. Jersey Jerry & Nikki Numbers: Legendary Side Characters

[23:26 – 29:16]

• Nikki Numbers’ Cameo: Jerry’s mysterious buddy is flown out to the tournament, leading to hilarious stories about their dynamic and old-school scam tactics.
  • “He flew him out to abuse him.” — Dave [25:25]
  • “I think Jerry might be taking care of, like, half of New Jersey right now, bro.” — Roan [26:13]
• Classic Scam Stories: The boys recount notorious East Coast scams: fake apartment rentals at Penn State, forged frat passes, and cell phone burner tactics.
  • “They'd collect a security deposit, and then on the drive home, throw the cell phone in the river.” — Dave [28:04]

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4. Childhood Anecdotes: Francis’s Health Battle

[36:42 – 44:22]

• Francis’s Serious Illness as a Kid: He shares a vivid memory of going to the 2001 NFC Championship Game with a catheter in his heart, supported by Giants fans, and the emotions and practical challenges during recovery.
  • “It was like a foundational memory…They created a windshield for my dad. And everyone around us in the section was, like, helping.” — Francis [39:16]
• Hospital Stays and Family Finances: Reflections on long-term illness, missing school, and the emotional toll on his family.
• Demographic Nursing Debate: Francis humorously claims black nurses were better at finding veins when he was hospitalized.
  • “Black nurses…the black nurse women were way better at doing it than the white women.” — Francis [43:22]

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5. Epstein Files, Power, Conspiracies, and Humor

[44:45 – 57:12]

• Files on Files: The group shifts to the recently-released Epstein files, expressing disbelief and disgust at the depravity revealed, jokingly speculating about Israeli intelligence (“Mossad”), and who is redacting the documents.
  • “If 1% of it's true, I look at the entire world differently.” — Dave [47:06]
  • “Everything goes back to Israel.” — Roan [47:41]
  • “You're a secret agent, and we're gonna need you to have unlimited orgies.” — Dave [48:09]
• Pop Culture Crossovers: They riff on the lines between politics, media coverage, the ubiquity of scandal, and whether or not any justice will happen.
  • “It's the worst thing that's ever happened.” — Roan [52:48]
• Why Did This Take So Long/Why Now?: The group muses over timing, possible distractions, and how the proliferation of AI is making plausible deniability easier than ever.
  • “I think the reason they're pumping so much AI into everything…is so that they can just say everything's fake.” — Roan [55:39]

6. Striking Cynicism & Philosophical Reflections

[57:23 – 60:20]

• Feeling Powerless: Francis expresses his attempt to focus on his own life, since nothing ever seems to come from major revelations.
  • “I think I've kind of tried to just distill my belief system down to, like, there's not that much I can control in the world.” — Francis [57:23]
• On ‘Saving the World’ Movies: They talk about how movies like Taken are about rescuing trafficking victims, but most action movies don’t emphasize the sexual violence or cruelty that raises the actual stakes.

7. Spooky Movies & Status Symbol Tangents

[61:38 – 66:45]

• Hereditary, The Ring, Black Phone: The guys compare notes on horror films.
• Frequent Flyer Status: Roan and Francis complain about falling from Diamond to Platinum status, making points about meaningless hierarchy in airline reward systems.
  • “Platinum is repulsive. I would rather have nothing. I don't want any status.” — Roan [65:17]

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• [04:27] “We made it to Sunday. We came in second place overall.” — Roan (on Bush’s best tournament run yet)
• [13:55] “I'm so bought in on this.” — Francis, getting fully invested in the Bush project’s drama
• [25:25] “He flew him out to abuse him.” — Dave, on Jerry bringing Nikki Numbers
• [39:16] “They created a windshield for my dad…It was like a foundational memory with meet my dad.” — Francis, reflecting on fan kindness during his illness
• [47:06] “If 1% of it's true, I look at the entire world differently.” — Dave, on the Epstein files
• [55:39] “I think the reason they're pumping so much AI into everything…is so that they can just say everything's fake.” — Roan

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Episode Tone & Style

• Unfiltered, irreverent, sometimes darkly comic. The hosts touch on heavy topics like sexual abuse and global conspiracy but balance it with typical Barstool brashness, gaming in-jokes, and banter about mundane gripes (from frequent flyer points to youth sports).
• Authentic and explicitly personal. The candid recounting of friendship, family, trauma, and laughter is very much in line with the show’s “boys hanging out” vibe.
• References & meta-humor. Frequent callbacks to inside jokes (the “Sass pack”, scam stories, the fate of esports “bush”), and lots of riffing on movies, sports, and political scandals.

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For New Listeners

Whether you’re interested in the drama behind online gaming teams, wild Barstool personalities, or late-stage American conspiracy culture, this episode offers a bit of everything. The hosts’ comedic candor ensures even the darkest subject matter is laced with punchlines and perspective.

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Super Bowl Picks [67:17]

• Roan: Patriots 17-10
• Francis: Seahawks 28-24 (predicts Patriots will cover but lose)
• Dave: Seahawks 27-21

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If you only have 10 minutes, listen around [44:45 – 54:00] for their unfiltered, comedic deep-dive on the Epstein files and all the wild speculation that entails.

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(Ads, lengthy promos, and musical outros not included in this summary.)

Transcript

[Dave Portnoy]

Hey, Son of a Boy dad listeners. You can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.

[Francis Ellis]

Shall we? Yeah.

[Roan]

Yeah. We good to go? All righty. Welcome back to the Son of a Boy dad podcast. Today it's February 2nd, 4pm we are live from HQ.

[Dave Portnoy]

Trey, I just went into a meeting.

[Roan]

Really?

[Dave Portnoy]

And it was coincidentally the people who you had a meeting with and they were like oh, Sass said that he doesn't know any of us and they were steaming mad. And the only person you said you knew was Molly and her real name is Maggie.

[Roan]

Well, it's a damn shame.

[Dave Portnoy]

She was. She was hurt.

[Roan]

Yeah, she.

[Dave Portnoy]

You hurt her.

[Roan]

That's unfortunate.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, I mean just. I think just get to know the names of the people you're meeting with.

[Roan]

Nah, that's not my style. They pulled me in out of nowhere.

[Dave Portnoy]

You should know them anyway.

[Roan]

Didn't give me time to evaluate.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, but you should have pre evaluated. You should know these people. They called me off drunk strangers. No, you should be fucking stealing field against this for a meeting. You should know who you're.

[Roan]

This wasn't a scheduled meeting.

[Dave Portnoy]

Closest workers are. These are your confidants.

[Roan]

My closest. You guys are my closest workers.

[Dave Portnoy]

I know, but they're part of our. The team. They're trying to get done for the team.

[Roan]

True.

[Dave Portnoy]

I. Back to bush.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. What's going on with Bush? You had a big weekend?

[Roan]

Yeah, I was long as hell.

[Dave Portnoy]

Those are great boots, Francis.

[Francis Ellis]

Thank you.

[Roan]

Solid boots.

[Francis Ellis]

Sample sale. 75% off.

[Roan]

Solid boots.

[Francis Ellis]

No way.

[Dave Portnoy]

What are those?

[Francis Ellis]

Uggs, Brunello, Cuccinelli. 75% off. They were $300.

[Roan]

Damn, that's a good deal. Where did you find 75% off boots?

[Francis Ellis]

Sample sale.

[Roan]

Guess that makes sense. Guess that checks out.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

You have questions about the bush, Ron?

[Francis Ellis]

No.

[Dave Portnoy]

What are you talking about?

[Francis Ellis]

I have questions about the bush.

[Roan]

I'll go gladly answer questions from Francis.

[Francis Ellis]

Oh, you're mad at him. Roan is. Okay. Roan set the tone.

[Roan]

Crazy called it a out of pocket. Out of pocket.

[Dave Portnoy]

Listen, I thought that my backing of the bush had been pretty apparent from the three months of positivity I'd put.

[Roan]

Out into the world and then the two days of brutal negativity.

[Dave Portnoy]

I thought that you guys were strong enough that you could take a joke, but I didn't realize the fragility of the bush right now. And I get it. It's still this new thing trying to find its legs and walk on it and just Bad one. Bad Negative joke about it could. Is. Is enough to just knock it all over. So I get why it's that. Why it's that.

[Roan]

Tough to see Good friend. Good. Someone I considered a good friend. A close friend.

[Dave Portnoy]

Sass was texting me pictures.

[Francis Ellis]

All.

[Dave Portnoy]

Everyone in the bush flipped. All of them. Like, this is what we think of you now.

[Francis Ellis]

The. The.

[Roan]

The players were devastated.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

They. They were asking me, and that's so. They were like, so does everyone at Barstool just hate us?

[Dave Portnoy]

Right?

[Roan]

And I was like, no, it's just Roan.

[Dave Portnoy]

And you were like, whispering in their ear while they were playing. You're like, picture. It's fucking blowing off. And that's why you guys went on the road.

[Roan]

That set the tone, which helped you. Well, not in the long run.

[Francis Ellis]

Can you kind of forgive me? Can you give me an update on the team? Yeah, yeah. What's kind of going on there?

[Roan]

Well, so we went to. This week was major one. There's four majors, I think, throughout the year, so it's not like that frequent, which is nice because it's a lot of work. But, yeah, this week was major one. We went down on Tuesday. We got invited to, like, a pre tournament practice stream thing that one of the other organizations was holding, and then the tournament started Friday, and it was. It was good. It was crazy. I mean, it was. We were just in a hotel. In a hotel ballroom. Yeah, that's where the tournament was. The pros played across the street at an arena, which we got to go to that. That was cool, too. But great week for the Bush.

[Dave Portnoy]

They got hot. They got hot at the right time.

[Roan]

Yeah. Great week. I mean, we didn't. We didn't. We didn't win it. Which we won.

[Dave Portnoy]

But you made it to Sunday.

[Roan]

We made it to Sunday. We came in second place overall.

[Francis Ellis]

Amazing.

[Roan]

Which is $18,000 for the boys.

[Francis Ellis]

Wait, each?

[Roan]

No, no, they get to split it.

[Francis Ellis]

Oh, but that's great. Four of them. Four of them?

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

The coach. No, coach doesn't get paid anything.

[Roan]

No, not from that.

[Francis Ellis]

Did they not kick you guys a little something?

[Roan]

We get, like. I think we get, like, 10%. The contracts aren't really for us. Like, we're not trying to take that money from them.

[Francis Ellis]

Fine. But. But hold on a second. Is this roster. These four.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

Are those the same that it's been all season?

[Roan]

Three of them.

[Dave Portnoy]

Come on, bro.

[Roan]

One of them got picked up to the pros.

[Dave Portnoy]

TJ.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. TJ's gone.

[Roan]

TJ's on the pros.

[Francis Ellis]

And these other three was the success of this weekend enough to get them to be happy with what's going on.

[Roan]

Definitely.

[Dave Portnoy]

Really?

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

They were very excited, very happy.

[Francis Ellis]

Okay. I mean, I don't want to. I'm not trying to. I'm a little confused because I'm out. But of the loop. But. And maybe this isn't something I'm supposed to say so we can.

[Roan]

Oh, you can say anything.

[Francis Ellis]

Don't they not like each other?

[Dave Portnoy]

We're going to cut this.

[Roan]

No, no, we don't have to cut that.

[Francis Ellis]

Isn't. Isn't. Isn't. There.

[Dave Portnoy]

There was locker room strife.

[Francis Ellis]

There was.

[Roan]

There was of. There was a lot of locker room problems before. We don't have. I don't want to get too into detail on that.

[Dave Portnoy]

The problem was not enough. People on the team were saying the N word in the chat were on the headset. They kind of been. Some of them won't commit to using slurs.

[Roan]

No, they're all using them. We're good on that.

[Dave Portnoy]

Okay, you're good. It didn't seem like it.

[Roan]

Yeah, no. There was a. There was a lot of problems leading up to this week, but I think once everyone got in person, like, they're all insanely talented players. Like, they're all in challengers, which is the minor league, but they're all. They've all been in the pro league and pretty much all of them have kind of gotten like a bet. Bad PR rep like, that One of them had like, a really bad performance in his first professional tournament and he hasn't been in the league for, like, four years since, so.

[Francis Ellis]

So Bush is sort of a last chance you of.

[Roan]

Yeah, in a way. In a way. But they're young guys and they're all, like, really good. Yeah, like, the. What we were saying was, like, we came in second place and it was. Our practice was awful and they were all arguing. So I was like, if we actually prepared for this tournament, we would have won it easily.

[Francis Ellis]

Why do they all hate each other so much?

[Roan]

Because that's kind of just how it is. They don't hate each other. They just get in. Like, they just bicker over. It's like. It's like if you were on a football team and it's only four guys. So it's like they finish like. Like after Thursday or Friday. We beat. We won our two matches. We. The second one was kind of close and it shouldn't have been at all. And, like, they came back, they won. They're on to Saturday. They were furious. Just going back and forth at each Other for like an hour.

[Francis Ellis]

Wow.

[Roan]

But it's. I think they're just. They just want to win so bad. Like, that's all. The only thing they care about is winning.

[Francis Ellis]

Is. Is of. Of the. Who did you replace TJ with?

[Roan]

This dude Lou Fire.

[Francis Ellis]

And he is good.

[Roan]

Oh, unbelievable name.

[Francis Ellis]

Lou Fire or he is Fire.

[Roan]

His name is his gamer tax Fire. His name's Lou.

[Francis Ellis]

Oh, okay.

[Dave Portnoy]

But he is Fire.

[Roan]

He is Fire.

[Dave Portnoy]

Sass came. I mean, Sassy did a lot of massaging to help with the team morale.

[Roan]

Exactly.

[Dave Portnoy]

He basically showed up, and he was like doobie snacks and had a zip in a plastic bag.

[Roan]

I'd take care of my boys. They're calling it the Sass pack.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. I love that.

[Roan]

These guys are hilarious. Yeah, they like. Like, they taught, like, the way that they communicate with each other is only, like, game talk is only in video games. Like, they wake up in the morning, they're like, dude, I'm one shot.

[Francis Ellis]

What does that mean?

[Roan]

That means, like, they're, like, in video games or someone's one shot. It means they're, like, about to die.

[Francis Ellis]

Oh.

[Roan]

So they, like, wake up and they're tired and they're like. They're like. Like, they'll be like. They're just walking around. They're like, I'm lagging. They're like, dude, I'm just lagging the fuck out right now. And they refer to everything in. In. In Call of Duty games. Like, the Call of Duty puts out a new game every single year.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

And they have for the last, like, 20 years. So they'll be like, you'll be. You'll ask them a question about, like, them. They're like, personal life. Like, oh, like, did you go to high school? Or like, what? Like, how was your. And they'll be like, oh, that was my BO4 year. So Black Ops 4. Like, they refer to everything. They don't use years.

[Francis Ellis]

The chrono. The chronology of their life is. Is marked by the game that they.

[Roan]

Were playing at the time.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Everything. They're like, oh, that was my Vanguard season.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's how, like, the Julian calendar was made.

[Roan]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Francis Ellis]

But you said that. You said that they were. Fear will be furious with each other. I mean, and that they won't speak to each other, but except for in on the game. Right.

[Roan]

That was kind of the vibe that we had going into the week.

[Francis Ellis]

Right.

[Roan]

Once we got everyone in person, it was.

[Francis Ellis]

It was.

[Roan]

I think after the first night, like, the vibes really got good. Like, Everyone was just having a good time.

[Francis Ellis]

So. So, I mean, look, again, I don't want to like tell tales out of school or whatever, but I was kind of under the impression that this was like toast.

[Roan]

Well, no, the, the, the overall, the.

[Dave Portnoy]

Concept is good, but it was just going to be the composition of the team.

[Francis Ellis]

That's what I'm saying. I was under the impression that these guys hated each other so much.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

That they were basically. Everyone was going to quit or that they couldn't play. There was no cohesion. They couldn't play with each other. Put me in a different hotel.

[Roan]

Yeah. I mean, it was. I, I genuinely. I don't know. I don't have the answer.

[Dave Portnoy]

But then they got in the house.

[Roan]

Then they got in the house and they started playing together and they were playing really well.

[Dave Portnoy]

That loud pack started going up, so.

[Francis Ellis]

Okay, so they were.

[Roan]

But also. No, but I also will say we don't know what's happening now. Like, we don't know what then. Like, we have pretty much like three weeks off now until like this. Until the second. Like the second part of the season. They call them seasons. So it's like this is the second season.

[Francis Ellis]

Okay.

[Dave Portnoy]

You better be careful that some of these guys weren't at this tournament, like auditioning for other teams. I worry about like in Jerry Maguire when. When the quarterback signs with the other agent, he's like, you were in the lobby with that black fella. It's gonna be some.

[Roan]

Like that.

[Dave Portnoy]

I mean.

[Roan]

No, that's kind of what it is. That's kind of how it is.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. They're like scouting you. Your guys out.

[Roan]

Like when we, like yesterday we. Yesterday we got, we came in second tournament ends. We. We finished a lot earlier than we were expect. I thought we were going to be streaming until like 9pm but we were done by like 3:34. And the vibe at the end of the, at the end of it, we all hung out and the vibe kind of going into everyone going to bed was like, let us know. Look, let us know what, what you guys decide. Like, we don't really have any say on what they do. Like, they, they, they. There is a chance that they break up, but there's a chance that they stay together.

[Guest Singer]

Wow.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

But all of this is being. Is part of the sort of Hard Knocks type thing.

[Roan]

Exactly. Yeah. Like, we're gonna have like, that's why I don't want to talk about the fights and stuff too much because we have like, we're gonna have a whole.

[Francis Ellis]

Okay.

[Roan]

Whole like hour 30 documentary.

[Francis Ellis]

I'm sorry.

[Roan]

No, no, no.

[Francis Ellis]

Dude.

[Dave Portnoy]

Promoting the show. We're just promoting the show.

[Francis Ellis]

I'm gonna be honest with you.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

It sounds to me like you have created something extraordinary.

[Roan]

Oh, yeah, big time.

[Dave Portnoy]

And sounds like you're having fun with your little.

[Francis Ellis]

No.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

This guy, this.

[Roan]

This guy doesn't stop.

[Francis Ellis]

This is so much more compelling than. Than just video games.

[Roan]

Yeah, definitely.

[Francis Ellis]

And it's the human element, it's the team, it's the dissension. Yeah, it's. But then like, victory brings you together.

[Roan]

Exactly.

[Francis Ellis]

Did you ever watch. There was this great Netflix show about the team, Sunderland fc?

[Roan]

I don't think so.

[Francis Ellis]

I haven't seen it. You saw it?

[Dave Portnoy]

No, I haven't.

[Francis Ellis]

It followed Sunderland through two seasons of soccer. And this is a team that historically had been in the Premier League and then had been like relegated and then relegated again. And ownership had stopped putting money into the team so they couldn't buy good players in order to get them back up into the right league. And the town, the town loves, the whole town lives and dies on the team. So when the team is horrible, like people, the economy's drag themselves to work and they're not happy. Yeah, exactly like that.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

And more than you know, they interview fans and they go into fans homes as they watch the games. It sounds to me like what you are creating reminds me of that show. And there's this real humanity to it.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

Human element. Heart. A lot of heart. Right.

[Roan]

A lot of emotions flying around.

[Francis Ellis]

Right. Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

There's a corner of the Internet that's depressed if things don't go well.

[Roan]

It's 100%. It's also kind of. It's also kind of weird because it's like if we don't compete well, then the content, we can't. Like, we. We would miss out. Like, if we were eliminated Friday, we would have missed out on almost 16 hours of streaming.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, that Jerry clip of him.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Went everywhere.

[Francis Ellis]

And the. The. The streaming is live.

[Roan]

Yes.

[Francis Ellis]

So you can't keep the results of the game of the streaming hidden.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

That's a stupid thing to say, but. Yeah, we all know this week, but it's like what.

[Dave Portnoy]

This was the story of how.

[Francis Ellis]

That's so great.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, dude, I'm psyched for you.

[Roan]

Yeah, I'm pretty pumped.

[Francis Ellis]

I am so bought in on this.

[Roan]

Yeah, exactly what I expected. I friend Francis.

[Francis Ellis]

Well, I mean, I guess you've never really explained it to me in these terms and maybe it's on me for no more curious.

[Roan]

I don't blame you at all. Well, I blame myself if anything call for not being as. In fact, why don't we get dinner after this?

[Francis Ellis]

I'd like to invest. Yeah, I'd like to invest $200,000.

[Roan]

That's amazing.

[Francis Ellis]

From the Internet Invitational.

[Dave Portnoy]

And what kind of talent could you buy with Francis's seed investment?

[Roan]

200K. Well, good. A good team.

[Dave Portnoy]

Like, would you get four new guys?

[Roan]

No, no, but we could probably pay our guys. Who would you get rid of into playing good enough to win?

[Francis Ellis]

I don'. Want them to just be mercenaries.

[Dave Portnoy]

Same guys who are just unmotivated.

[Francis Ellis]

I know. That's my point. Then if. If you're telling me that the only reason that they would play better better is because of money. Well, that those aren't the right guys for us.

[Dave Portnoy]

Are they the right guys?

[Roan]

They're the right guys for sure.

[Francis Ellis]

Are they?

[Roan]

They're good.

[Francis Ellis]

Who on the winning team did they have someone who was fundamentally better?

[Roan]

Bro, the winning team was the Saudis. The Saudis. They, they. I mean, but we can't deal with that.

[Francis Ellis]

The Saudis.

[Roan]

The Saudis.

[Francis Ellis]

Oh, sorry. No, that's okay.

[Dave Portnoy]

Pronounce it like the car.

[Roan]

I've heard it. I've heard it both ways.

[Francis Ellis]

I didn't know if Saudis was like some gaming thing.

[Roan]

No, no, the Saudis. The Saudis are big in the esport world.

[Francis Ellis]

Sure.

[Roan]

And they're trying to like take it over pretty much. So they have. They play in a different league than we do. But when we have. When these big tournaments happen, everyone plays together. So we haven't played against any of these like European or Middle Eastern or Australian teams.

[Francis Ellis]

Right.

[Roan]

So they all play like a difference. They play a weird style of the game. They don't play it like the people in America do. So it takes a little bit of adjusting.

[Dave Portnoy]

Played in Arabic.

[Roan]

Exactly, dude. The final match, the team that we played was a fully Saudi team. Like everyone, four players, all Saudi coach, Saudi. They're speaking in Saudi. They also keep in mind they have billions of dollars that they're throwing.

[Francis Ellis]

Oh yeah. Those guys practice in a real arena actually killing people.

[Roan]

No, like literally. They literally have training facilities.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

And yeah, yeah, dude, they played the. The last match, this the final, with their legs crossed like this, all sitting in chairs, playing. I've never seen. It was the craziest thing I've ever seen.

[Dave Portnoy]

You got to do it like cool runnings where you're like, the Saudis cross their legs. We cross our legs.

[Francis Ellis]

Vi dry. Yeah.

[Roan]

It became a thing when it was. We were Playing for America.

[Dave Portnoy]

Well, once you beat them, you also had to edit it. Like miracle.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

You know what I mean?

[Roan]

That's. That was the whole. That was what I kept on being like. It's like we're playing the Russians.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. Ye. So they won.

[Roan]

We did play three Saudi teams. We eliminated two of them, sent them packing.

[Dave Portnoy]

It was like Lone Survivor.

[Francis Ellis]

That's amazing.

[Roan]

It was great.

[Francis Ellis]

I guess. What is the prize for the team that wins the league?

[Roan]

Well, it's the first major pays the least because it's. I don't actually don't know why, but I think it's just because it's so early into the season. So it's like kind of. It's kind of like anyone can win it, but I don't know. The champs, like the, the final tournament of the year. That's the biggest paying tournament, that one. I think they would win like 200k or some.

[Dave Portnoy]

Right.

[Roan]

But the pro leagues, they like the, the pros, I think, get the prize pools like 2 million.

[Francis Ellis]

Okay. And so there's. Is there like a points accumulation thing?

[Roan]

Yes.

[Francis Ellis]

So you were.

[Roan]

Okay, so we got like a. There's a pro. Points are a thing which kind of determines your seating.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

And so we got like a shit ton of pro points.

[Francis Ellis]

Oh, that's awesome.

[Roan]

Which is huge.

[Francis Ellis]

Did you. Is there. If you hadn't. And you're towards the bottom of the league, is there a chance that you get relegated down into a lower league?

[Roan]

No, not for. No, actually in. In neither of those.

[Dave Portnoy]

And you can't jump up either and.

[Francis Ellis]

You can't get promoted.

[Roan]

You could, hypothetically, you could buy a spot from the pro league because there's three teams that are actively trying to get out of the pro league.

[Francis Ellis]

How much does it cost to buy a spot in the pro.

[Roan]

It depends on $200,000.

[Francis Ellis]

$200,000? Yeah.

[Roan]

Probably like 100K.

[Francis Ellis]

And wouldn't entering.

[Dave Portnoy]

You'd be a hero.

[Francis Ellis]

Wouldn't entering the new pro league effectively create far greater visibility and sponsorship opportunities and merch opportunities and things of that nature?

[Roan]

Definitely. But it would also. Then you have to pay everyone a salary.

[Francis Ellis]

Oh, you do?

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, you have to.

[Roan]

Yeah, you're. Yeah, you have to.

[Francis Ellis]

How much?

[Roan]

Probably like 60k. Like that's like minimum 60k each.

[Francis Ellis]

And there's four guys.

[Roan]

Yeah. And then you have to pay the coach a salary.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's why we're looking for a big sponsor.

[Roan]

Well, I mean, I, I think me, mook and Jerry have all talked about it, and I think we've all Said, like staying in that we would definitely. I think we want to stay in the minor league for at least another year.

[Francis Ellis]

Why?

[Roan]

Just because it's there. They play more. They play way more than the pros. Like, like literally like 100 times more, probably.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

And so it's more entered, there's more content out of it. It's more entertaining. And also it's just not as expensive.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

If we're some storylines going.

[Roan]

Yeah. And also it's like there's not really any pressure. Like, if we lose, we lose. We lost and we're in the pro league. Like, I'd be having like a meeting with Dave and he'd be like, you got to shut it down, Figure something out.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Because then it's like real money's going into it.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

So the minor league is kind of like a, A, A glitch in a way.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's a sweet spot for a year. You see what you have.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

And then you jump up once the big money hits.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, right.

[Dave Portnoy]

Once, like Hershey is a sponsor.

[Francis Ellis]

Sure.

[Dave Portnoy]

And you're just dressed up like a Hershey's Kiss. Definitely dancing behind them.

[Francis Ellis]

Who's the coach?

[Roan]

This dude. Don Temp.

[Francis Ellis]

Don Temp.

[Roan]

His name's Don. His. His tag is Temp.

[Francis Ellis]

Okay.

[Roan]

He was in the pros for a while.

[Francis Ellis]

His name is Don Donnie.

[Roan]

Don Donnie.

[Francis Ellis]

Oh, D, O, N. Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

You thought like the morning.

[Roan]

No, no, no, no.

[Francis Ellis]

Very feminine name for a Call of Duty coach.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's why he's so damn good. He's like a boy named Sue.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

A gamer named Dawn.

[Roan]

Did you guys see any of those clips of Jerry?

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, it was amazing. So the funniest was when they got the, the announcers, like. And yeah, he's telling him.

[Roan]

Good game.

[Dave Portnoy]

But I lost my voice.

[Roan]

The Jerry stuff was. That was like my favorite part of the whole weekend. Because that was like I said it. I said I was telling them after. I was like. When I came up with the idea, like, and I wanted Jerry in it, like, that was like the exact thing that I was picturing was like Jerry yelling at 18 year old kids.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Screaming at them.

[Dave Portnoy]

They do that.

[Francis Ellis]

That's.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's not like a new thing, though. People like talking.

[Roan]

No, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's sitting down real fast.

[Roan]

Yeah. That's like the norm. But it's definitely not the norm for the owner of the team to be leaning over the monitors screaming at the other team.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's awesome.

[Francis Ellis]

Is there any. Would there be. There's nobody to say hey, you shouldn't do.

[Roan]

No, there is. There's, like, admins and, like. Like, referees and shit and.

[Francis Ellis]

Did they speak to him?

[Roan]

No, they didn't. It was really weird, though, because, like, when we first. The first day of the tournament, it was like none of us were allowed in the pit where the players play, which is usually not. Usually anyone can be in the pit, like. And you get people surround them and it gets crazy. That's, like, the fun part of it.

[Francis Ellis]

That's cool.

[Roan]

But this one, it was. It was pretty tight, and there's, like, a hundred teams in it, so there's a ton of people. But as the week went on and it got smaller to, like, only, like, four teams, it was kind of like you could just go anywhere.

[Francis Ellis]

You're. There were a hundred teams in this tournament.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

And you came in second.

[Roan]

Yeah. But again, our guys are, like, really good. Like, they've all been pro.

[Francis Ellis]

What happened to them? Why did they get kicked down to this league?

[Dave Portnoy]

Sexual assault.

[Roan]

No, no, no, no, no. Again, doesn't stop. Doesn't stop. And no. It.

[Francis Ellis]

They're journeyman.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

How old are they?

[Roan]

They're all. One of them's 23 and three of them are 24.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. In gamer years, that's.

[Dave Portnoy]

Well, they're like Adam Thielen.

[Roan]

Yeah, no, they're. They're. I don't know. I really don't know why. I kind of know why they didn't. Why they've fall. Been up and down, but.

[Francis Ellis]

Attitude.

[Roan]

No, not really. It's kind of like. It's. It's a little bit of a friendship league. And they're all friends. Like, that's their friend group.

[Francis Ellis]

Their friends.

[Roan]

The guys on our team.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Yeah. They're like. They're like best friends.

[Francis Ellis]

What are you talking about?

[Roan]

Yeah, that's why they are.

[Dave Portnoy]

Well, they're friends from the game, though. They're not like, they didn't, like, live on. Grow up on the same block. Am I right about that?

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

I thought these guys were ready to.

[Roan]

Fucking kill each other, kind of, but they're that. I think that's because they're such. They've known each other for so long.

[Francis Ellis]

I get it.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

They probably just. It's iron sharpens iron. They probably want to play together because they're all sick. Yeah. Let's all destroy some shit.

[Francis Ellis]

They have to put their egos aside.

[Dave Portnoy]

I got to get in the locker room.

[Francis Ellis]

I need to talk to these.

[Dave Portnoy]

Same way you talk to the lacrosse team up at Harvard.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'll Learn the lingo. And I'll be like, I'm a little one shot myself right now.

[Dave Portnoy]

But we all lag sometimes.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Roan]

Yeah. I mean, they definitely. I don't know. I don't know. It's. It's definitely interesting to like work with them and, you know, because it's like.

[Dave Portnoy]

Best weekend of your life.

[Roan]

No, but it was really. It was really fun. Like, it was a really good time.

[Dave Portnoy]

Great time being in the house. What about Jersey, Jerry's friend, Nikki Numbers?

[Francis Ellis]

Why did he come down? Support.

[Roan]

Couldn't tell you. Could not tell you.

[Dave Portnoy]

Always with this guy, bro. You guys support?

[Roan]

No. Nikki Numbers came down because Jerry flew him out randomly. Gotten like a. I don't know, he got. Something happened.

[Dave Portnoy]

He got a fight with his girl?

[Roan]

No, I can't say. I can't say, but something happened. And. And Jerry was like, numbers is coming at out.

[Francis Ellis]

And.

[Roan]

And then you, of course, you got to be like, who the is Nikki Numbers?

[Dave Portnoy]

But I think he's talked about it, I guess, and he. He is Jerry.

[Roan]

He's just like, they're the same person. The exact same person.

[Dave Portnoy]

Well, if he drinks, like, if drink, yeah.

[Roan]

Nikki Numbers drinks.

[Francis Ellis]

Does he. Oh, now I would love to hang out with him.

[Roan]

This guy is crazy.

[Francis Ellis]

Really.

[Roan]

Dude, they're so. Dude, they came in. When Nicky Numbers showed up at the hotel on Friday night, we all of us were like, jerry, you hired this guy to come here? There's no. Like, they. They are the ex. They talk exactly the same.

[Francis Ellis]

Wow.

[Roan]

And they bicker like, they're like, best. They've known each other forever. They bicker and it's so funny.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Like, they get. They were like. Last night, I think Nikki Numbers was like. He was like, jerry, what are we doing tonight? We going out? And Jerry's like, no, I'm going to bed. And he's like, any. And then they just get into it and they keep on. They start calling to their washed up, like, used to be a man and now all you want to do is just lay around all day, dude, it's.

[Dave Portnoy]

What's Jerry's defense to that?

[Roan]

He's like. Jerry's like, bro, I got kids. You don't know nothing about raising a family. You're a bum. Jerry's just so mean to Nicky Numbers. He's always like. He's like, you ain't got a job. And then Numbers is like, you keep telling everybody, I don't got a job. I got a job.

[Dave Portnoy]

He flew him out to abuse him.

[Roan]

Yeah, yeah, bro, he flew him out I think they spoke for, like, 45 minutes the whole trip. And the whole time, Jerry's like. He's. He's got to take care. He's like, nicky Numbers don't put him on camera. He's not allowed on camera. Like, he brings him on. We had, like, the stream going. He brought him on for, like, a minute. And then he immediate. Like, he said one thing, and Jerry's like, get him out of here. And he had to, dude. He literally just sat in a chair in the side of the room the entire trip.

[Guest Singer]

So.

[Francis Ellis]

So he really didn't. He. He had nowhere to stay. He had been. No, he said. But I'm saying he came because he couldn't be in his home anymore.

[Roan]

No, I don't think that was the case. But I think he. I don't know. I can't. I don't want to give away too much of Nicky Numbers because I think he. I don't think. No. Because I don't know what I'm allowed to say. Jerry's very protective over Numbers.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Very protective. Understand, I think Jerry might be taking care of, like, half of New Jersey right now, bro. He lives a different life.

[Dave Portnoy]

He sends money home. Like, he's like a Pakistan. Literally, like, who's in America?

[Roan]

Yesterday he was like, I'm. I got banged bad on this trip. And he's like, I'm gonna have to get a scam going. He's like, it's all right. I'll scam it back.

[Dave Portnoy]

I cannot imagine what he's into. If this is what we see, imagine what's the. Beneath the surface of the water, like, how big the iceberg goes.

[Roan]

He's crazy.

[Dave Portnoy]

Scams. He must have had the scams. He must be able to, like, fire up.

[Roan]

They told us about the Halloween. His hat. Their Halloween together in O11. They were in costume, and they waited all night for someone. They were trying to get into a party. They got denied from all the parties. They. They literally, like. And they're not kidding at all. They don't celebrate Halloween anymore since 2011. And they're like. They're dead set on that. They're like, well, we fucking hate Halloween. Because, like, literally, like, 20 years ago, they got denied from a party.

[Dave Portnoy]

Like, it was the holiday's fault.

[Francis Ellis]

He said that.

[Roan]

They sat in the dark all night, just furious, those two.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, my God, Imagine the scams. I got two friends that scammed, too. That they. I should link them up with really good scammers. Yeah, Honestly, the scammer, because they're in The Tri State, too. It's like, these guys used to go to Penn State. They didn't go to Penn State, but they would go up to Penn State early, and they would, like, rent out apartments that weren't theirs.

[Roan]

Oh, really?

[Dave Portnoy]

And so they'd, like, show someone around an apartment, collect a security deposit, and then on the drive home, throw the cell phone in the river.

[Roan]

That's crazy. That's high level. That's high level.

[Dave Portnoy]

Isn't that crazy? And then someone will get there and be like, this is my apartment. And they're like, what are you talking about? Someone just moved us in here.

[Roan]

I can't even imagine, like, the level of panic that would be going through me if I was on the other, like, moving in. And someone's like, what the are you doing? Yeah, I already moved everything out of my apartment.

[Dave Portnoy]

I live here now. And then they have to. So then they have to get a place for the next semester within one day to stay because they just got scanned. Oh, my God. These same guys came up our freshman year and would sell frat passes around the dorms, and they'd be like, this gets you into every frat for the entire year. And, like, they bring it to the frat the first day, and they'd be like, what the are you talking about? There's no such thing as a frat pass. But they would have already driven home and thrown their phone in the river. Like, it's so just burners. Yeah, just burners. Yeah, they. Nicky. Numbers should hit up my boy. Scammy.

[Roan]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm sure they're. I'm sure they're connected.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, they probably are.

[Roan]

I'd be shocked if they don't.

[Dave Portnoy]

If they don't know this scam. Yeah, this is, like, probably a classic scam.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

And every year there's a new crop of kids coming into Penn State, of course, first weekend scam, Daddy's money.

[Roan]

But yeah, I mean, it was a good time. It was a great week.

[Dave Portnoy]

Scam. Running scams. I can't believe. Course they're running scams.

[Roan]

I don't know if they. I don't know if they still are. Yeah, I don't know if they still are, but they definitely were at one point.

[Francis Ellis]

I don't know if I've ever had a scam.

[Dave Portnoy]

Have you ever been scammed?

[Francis Ellis]

Probably. I would think that I have been scammed. Yeah, of course. But I don't know. I. I just feel like scams. I haven't really thought you ever got scouts, fake tickets.

[Roan]

I have I have. I wasn't gonna go. I wasn't gonna go anyway. And then I found out last, like when I. When I would have been going, I found out that the tickets were fake.

[Dave Portnoy]

I used to be before, like the. The sites. That's the only way you go to the game and just get some tickets on the way in. And it worked out a bunch for me. But sometimes I. One time I got scammed when I was with my dad.

[Roan]

Brutal.

[Dave Portnoy]

I show. I was like, dad, watch this. And I got some fake tickets. And the guy's like, I'll walk you to the fucking. I'll ride my bike with you guys. Right up to the gate. Got to the gate and then he sprinted off his bike. That just had to buy tickets from another fucking scalper.

[Roan]

Those guys, those guys used to crack me up when I remember going like the Bruins with my dad. And the guys outside are just. There's. I'm buying, I'm selling them, buying them, selling. It's like, what does that even. What do you. What does that even mean?

[Dave Portnoy]

Running a tiny marketplace with tickets, guys. The Game Time app gives the advantage back to fans with constant innovation. That's how you unlock amazing tickets and experiences in just a few taps. It's so simple to use. The Game Time guarantee means that you get 100% authentic tickets on time at the best price, no surprises. Fees are included in the price. You see, what you pay is what you see and what you see is what you pay. Period. Period. Okay, I'm thinking about going out to a big ball game. It's almost baseball season. I'm looking at the 11th of April Phillies against the Diamondbacks in Philly. I'm thinking about getting some primo tickets from that. And you know that I'm going to get them through Game Time because I'm taking the guesswork out of buying tickets from every type of game. With Game Time, go to comedy, go to theater, you go to some concerts, maybe a baseball game. Maybe a ball game of any type. Download the Game Time app, create an account, use Code boy dad for $20 off. Your first purchase terms apply again. Create an account, redeem Code boy dad for $20 off. Download the GameTime app today.

[Francis Ellis]

Alrighty.

[Roan]

Let's talk about DraftKings.

[Francis Ellis]

I'm fucking loving me some DraftKings.

[Roan]

I love DraftKings. Super Bowl 60 deserves a sportsbook built for the moment. DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of Super Bowl 60, puts you right in the center of the biggest game of the year. Anything can happen during the Super bowl, and DraftKings has your back with Early Exit. If your player goes down in the first half, you still get paid in cash when your bet settles. No bonus bets, no waiting. While other sportsbooks don't offer injury protection, DraftKings covers the entire first half, even the second quarter. That's actually huge. And Early Exit works on live bets, too. Pregame or in game, DraftKings has you covered. New to DraftKings, new customers can bet just $5 and get $300 in bonus bets if it wins. That's massive, and I believe it's actually increased because it wasn't always 300. Download the DraftKings sportsbook app now and use code BOYDAD. That's code BOYDAD to turn five bucks into 300 in bonus bets. If your bet wins in partnership with DraftKings, the Crown is yours.

[Dave Portnoy]

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[Roan]

Illinois, 21 and over in most states. Void in Ontario, restrictions apply that must win to receive bonus bets, which expire in seven days. Minimum odds required. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources.

[Dave Portnoy]

See DKNG CO Audio limited Time Offer.

[Roan]

All right, let's talk about Zebiotics. Let's be real Big game nights can go late, and these days I don't bounce back like I used to.

[Francis Ellis]

Sure don't.

[Roan]

I do not.

[Francis Ellis]

I've seen you.

[Roan]

I do not bounce back.

[Francis Ellis]

You are one shot the next morning.

[Roan]

Oh yeah. I used to think I had to choose between a great night or a great next day. That was before I found Pre Alcohol Zebiotics. Pre alcohol probiotics drink is the world's first genetically engineered probiotic. It was invented by PhD scientists to tackle rough mornings after drinking. Here's how it works. When you drink, alcohol gets converted into a toxic byproduct in the gut. It's a buildup of this byproduct, not dehydration, that's to blame for rough days after drinking. Pre Alcohol reduces produces an enzyme to break the byproduct down. Just remember to make Pre Alcohol your first drink of the night. Drink responsibly and you'll feel your best tomorrow. So if you're planning to enjoy the big game without sacrificing your productive your productivity the next day, ZBiotics pre alcohol has you covered. Start your night with Pre Alcohol and wake up ready to show up strong at work, clear headed, focused, and back to business. Go. But go to zbiotics.com/s o a b d. Now you'll get 15 off your first order when you use s OABD at checkout. Plus it's backed by 100 money back guarantee, so there's no risk. Subscriptions are also available for maximum consistency. Remember to head to ZBiotics.com SOABD use code SOABD at checkout for 15 off.

[Dave Portnoy]

Guys, can we take a second to talk about Columbia sportswear?

[Francis Ellis]

I'm a big Columbia guy and so is Harry, to be honest.

[Roan]

I am. I love it.

[Dave Portnoy]

Come on.

[Francis Ellis]

I got him a bunch of stuff.

[Dave Portnoy]

He did the outdoors boys. For real. There is. This is the beer that everyone will be talking about on game day.

[Francis Ellis]

That's right. They have come out with a beer that is made with literal bear.

[Dave Portnoy]

How crazy is that?

[Francis Ellis]

Now it's made with it.

[Dave Portnoy]

Bear scat.

[Francis Ellis]

It's not in the beer, it's just made. It's part of the process. Don't worry, there's not actual bear shit in it. But it is part of how it is made and it is going to.

[Dave Portnoy]

Be the wildest taste test of the year. And Loki is the. It's the best conversation starter whenever you're at your little watch party, your big watch party. It's the Breakside beer, which was made in collaboration with Columbia. Columbia is about bracing the wild side of life, okay? We know this and that's why it's even. It's even associated with that when we're talking about trying the world's shittiest beer. Okay? If you know what I mean. So I got it.

[Francis Ellis]

By the way. Excuse me, Ron, really quick. The beer is called Nature Calls and it is made in collaboration. Breakside Brewing out of Oregon is the brewery that made it in collaboration with Columbia.

[Dave Portnoy]

Got it.

[Francis Ellis]

But check out Nature Calls.

[Dave Portnoy]

Would you try it?

[Francis Ellis]

I've had it. It's fantastic.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's so insane. Absolutely delicious. I need to try it.

[Francis Ellis]

It's so fucking good.

[Roan]

Sounds great.

[Francis Ellis]

It's so good.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's kind of like. It's kind of like a dare taste test type of deal where it's like dare if you dare to bear. You know what I mean?

[Francis Ellis]

There you go.

[Dave Portnoy]

You bear it. All right? We're enjoying the big game and obviously you're going to bring the outdoors [e-mail] nature calls, just like my boy Francis said. As you enjoy the big game indoors this Sunday, learn more about how you can bring the outdoors [e-mail] nature calls.

[Francis Ellis]

My dad and I went to the NFC championship game between the. The Giants and the Vikings when Randy Moss was on the Vikings. I don't know what year that was, but it was the year that the Giants made it to the super bowl and lost to the Ravens.

[Dave Portnoy]

2001.

[Francis Ellis]

That sounds right. Yeah. Because it was the year that I had my septic ankle joint.

[Dave Portnoy]

2001. You were in eighth grade.

[Francis Ellis]

I was in seventh, I think. Seventh, I think.

[Roan]

Yeah, I think he was in seventh.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. Because.

[Dave Portnoy]

I don't know. You were in sixth.

[Francis Ellis]

I think I was. I think I was in sixth.

[Dave Portnoy]

You were.

[Roan]

Was it.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, he was in sixth.

[Roan]

Seventh.

[Francis Ellis]

It was. It was freezing cold at the Meadowlands.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

And, you know, it was probably January or whatever, and I had a catheter in my heart. I had a tube, and it was. Yeah. Have I never told you guys? Haven't I talked about this?

[Roan]

I don't remember the cat.

[Dave Portnoy]

This is. This connected with you trying to get autographs from everybody because you had a catheter in your heart. You were like. You were.

[Roan]

You were sick.

[Francis Ellis]

Well, I had to do that. We went to that. We. We bought the 10 game pass to the Boston Celtics. But we also. The first thing we did was we went to the NFC championship game and we scalped tickets. And this big guy came up, and my dad was like, we want tickets. And the guy was like, here you go. Whatever. The game had already started.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

Because we were late. But that meant the tickets were cheaper, and I think they were. He asked for 200 bucks each. And my dad was like, how do we know that these are real? And the guy was like, you don't trust me? And then I think my dad turned to me. To me and was like, my son's sick, and we're doing this for him. Are you gonna scam him?

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

And show him the catheter.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. I had a. I had a. I had a tube coming. I. It had like a machine or something or I had a backpack.

[Roan]

Oh, my God.

[Francis Ellis]

That connected. I don't even really.

[Dave Portnoy]

Ghostbuster.

[Francis Ellis]

I had to bring all this gear into the game with me because halfway through the game, we had to administer my antibiotics.

[Roan]

Oh, my God.

[Francis Ellis]

And I had to take my shirt off. We had nosebleed seats and. Take my shirt. We did take my shirt off. And so that. And then my dad. You had to swab the tip of the. The tube that came out of the. I don't. This is crazy.

[Roan]

Your heart.

[Francis Ellis]

The tube was In a spiral. And then it went into my heart. And then there was a. You had to remove a piece of the sticker that kept it in place on my chest. You had to clean it and then administer the antibiotic through a syringe into it. And then you had to put a new sticker on top.

[Dave Portnoy]

I would have been watching from home.

[Roan]

You don't leave the house with that setup.

[Francis Ellis]

All of that took. All of that took, I don't know, 20 minutes or something. Yeah, it was freezing. We're all the way up at the top, and I'll never forget the people around us. I mean, it's nosebleeds. It's the Meadowlands. This is like. This was the true New Jersey fucking, you know, Giants fans. Not like rich New York City people. And they were so, like, involved. They created a windshield for my dad. And everyone around us in the section was, like, helping this situation. We had to explain what was going on. Meanwhile, the giants were up 30 to 0. They won that game. 41, nothing. I think.

[Dave Portnoy]

Dang.

[Francis Ellis]

Jason Seahorn was on the team. The quarterback was Carrie Collins. Collins, yes. And Tiki Barbara Barber was on that team. We all thought they were gonna do great. But then the. That was the year that Ray Lewis killed. Ray Lewis was on a murder spray. Yeah.

[Roan]

Yeah. Of course.

[Francis Ellis]

Applied his techniques to the Giants.

[Dave Portnoy]

Hilliard.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

It's tough. It's hard to compete with that kind of guy.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Just an actual killer.

[Francis Ellis]

But it was like a foundational memory with. Meet my dad that we. We did all that.

[Dave Portnoy]

Well, your section probably thought it was like, good luck, like to help the cancer kid.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

You know what I mean?

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

I can't believe you had that whole setup.

[Francis Ellis]

It was crazy. Yeah.

[Roan]

So you were really sick.

[Francis Ellis]

And one of the. One of the guys. One of the guys next to us goes. When I took my shirt off, my dad started doing this. He goes, brave a kid than I am. I'll never forget it. Yeah, I'm sure he's braver than I am.

[Roan]

That's great.

[Francis Ellis]

These are like. These were things that nursed me back to health. Neither. I was not well.

[Roan]

How long were you sick? About 10 years, I think.

[Francis Ellis]

I was in the hospital for a month, which is a long time at that age. Yeah, you get pretty sick of it. And then I think I had the catheter in for maybe like six weeks or something. Something.

[Roan]

Oh, damn. I thought you're gonna say six months.

[Francis Ellis]

I mean, I was out of school for two months. Two months? Yeah.

[Roan]

That's crazy.

[Francis Ellis]

Like, that. I Think at least you got to.

[Dave Portnoy]

Go to some sporting games.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Did that make it feel worth it?

[Francis Ellis]

Well, it was crazy. I mean, I really didn't think we had enough money at the time. And I felt really guilty, like, because you had.

[Roan]

Because they used it all on your. On your hospital.

[Francis Ellis]

I. I mean, presumably we had decent health insurance, but, like, I. I didn't think we had the money for that.

[Dave Portnoy]

Then your family didn't work for Barstool.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Jesus.

[Francis Ellis]

And so I. As thrilled as I was for this, when my. We were. When my dad was like, I think we should go to some Celtics games. Like, I think that'll. I was like, my spirit was broken.

[Roan]

Yeah, of course.

[Francis Ellis]

You know, I thought, like, I was a kid, and you think when you're a kid that you're invincible and you're gonna live forever. And, like, I had. I had. I had medical professionals very worried, and that's a very spooky thing to see at that age.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

Where they're like. They can't figure out what was wrong. We couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. And they were like. Kept missing the veins on the blood test because I was so sick.

[Roan]

Anyway, that's up when they're missing the veins.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Get it together.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Find the vein.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, it's in there. I swear to God.

[Francis Ellis]

Just gouging around, trying to hit it. But because. So I was so dehydrated that. Because I was so sick that the veins.

[Dave Portnoy]

Some nurses are in there, like a game of Operation, though. They're just like, Yeah, I don't know what they're doing.

[Francis Ellis]

I'm gonna say something that's a little reverse racist here.

[Roan]

Fine by me.

[Francis Ellis]

Black nurses. The black nurse women were way better at doing it than the white women. I remember. Surprised. I don't know why that's the case, but that was. I remember it was a black nurse that finally got the.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

And that's statistical, not anecdotal.

[Roan]

No, that's just. That's just a good. That's just an honest customer review right there.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Black nurses are better shots.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, I was in the. It was the.

[Dave Portnoy]

They shoot better. They jump higher.

[Francis Ellis]

What's George Bush's wife? I want to say Barbara. Barbara Bush. No, it was the. George Bush Sr's wife. The name of the main medical with the wing that I was in was named after her.

[Dave Portnoy]

Or Laura Bush is Laura and Barbara. Barbara's the older one. Laura is the older.

[Francis Ellis]

If it's Barbara, then it was the Barbara Bush wing at Maine. Met Yeah.

[Roan]

Oh, you were at Mira and Maine. I didn't know if you went down to Boston for some proper. For some proper care.

[Francis Ellis]

We couldn't get me there.

[Dave Portnoy]

If it's named after the first lady, it's for really sick kids.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

She's not putting her name on, like the rinky dink, like. No, it's for the very, very sick kids.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

You're in the Michelle Obama win. You're fucked. That's the last sign you're going to see. You're going to be meeting John Cena soon. Yeah.

[Roan]

It's very true. Yeah. You do not want to be in the Michelle Obama wing.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. In the Melania way.

[Roan]

The Melania.

[Dave Portnoy]

Did you guys see the movie? Did you guys see it yet?

[Roan]

No, I haven't.

[Francis Ellis]

I don't understand what it is. Is it a documentary?

[Roan]

I think.

[Dave Portnoy]

I don't know. I don't know if there's an actress. It's got to be a documentary.

[Francis Ellis]

They're using footage of her.

[Roan]

Is there a single person on the planet that wants to watch that movie?

[Francis Ellis]

Probably. I think she's a fascinating person, fundamentally.

[Roan]

Really.

[Francis Ellis]

Dude, think about her life. Look at her life.

[Roan]

She dumped an altitude, became friends with Epstein, and then what? Met Trump.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's fascinating. Admit that. That's fat. You wouldn't want to hear that story.

[Roan]

You are true. That is true. That is a good story.

[Francis Ellis]

You are going to incur the wrath.

[Dave Portnoy]

I don't get, of the pro. Of the pedophiles.

[Roan]

Yeah, the pedophiles aren't going to like it. You got to read. You got to read the. The files.

[Francis Ellis]

I got to read the files. Bad. The files on the files.

[Roan]

Yeah. A lot of new files released.

[Dave Portnoy]

If anybody tries to minimize it.

[Roan]

You're a pedophile. Yeah. You're a pedophile. Tough trying to bring that up around the guys. They don't. They. I don't even know if they know who Epstein is. And I was like, you guys see the new Epstein files?

[Dave Portnoy]

They're like, is that like a new download?

[Roan]

Is that a dlc?

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

And what was. What did Numbers talk about it at all?

[Roan]

Oh, yeah, Me and Numbers and Jerry got into it.

[Dave Portnoy]

What was Jerry saying?

[Roan]

Jerry's saying it's bad.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, it's bad. Obviously, it doesn't matter what side you're on. You read that. It's bad.

[Francis Ellis]

Who's it bad for? Who's everybody?

[Roan]

Hitters, big, big people. The big. The big people.

[Francis Ellis]

I was hearing Bill Gates.

[Roan]

Bill Gates. Trump, Elon Bush. It's. Honestly, it might Be worse for Musk. Just because it's, like, humiliating. It's humiliating. I think I would rather be in Trump's spot.

[Dave Portnoy]

David. David Stern, the old NBA commissioner, was like, would you, like, if. If there's any, like, orgies, I should come to town for early. Like, I'll definitely fly in today.

[Francis Ellis]

Come on, dude.

[Roan]

It's crazy. I think the craziest thing about it is how, like, freely these guys are sexually.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Like, we don't talk about that. Right. And these guys are emailing each other, like, when's the best night to come from.

[Dave Portnoy]

For the orgy?

[Roan]

Yeah. With. With you guys. Here's.

[Dave Portnoy]

I know you guys that we all killed and raped together.

[Roan]

Yeah. This is gonna be a great boys weekend. That's crazy.

[Dave Portnoy]

There's so much stuff that maybe some of it's made up, but if. If 1% of it's true, I look at the entire world differently.

[Roan]

Oh, yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

It's bad.

[Dave Portnoy]

And more than 1% of it has to be true.

[Roan]

It's really, like. It's tough to walk around and, like, look at the same way.

[Dave Portnoy]

Like, who's. Who's paying for this hospital? Like, who's paying for this thing? Why are they paying for it?

[Roan]

Mossad is the answer. I think we're. We're just puppets. Just. Is this. Is Israel just toying around with us? Just playing us like puppets?

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

Are you just tying all.

[Roan]

It's all goes back to Israel.

[Francis Ellis]

Come on.

[Roan]

It all goes back to Israel.

[Francis Ellis]

Is that true?

[Roan]

Everything goes back to Israel.

[Dave Portnoy]

He's right.

[Francis Ellis]

In what way?

[Roan]

They say Trump's compromised.

[Dave Portnoy]

I mean, Ghislaine Maxwell's dad, Robert Maxwell, I think has has ties.

[Roan]

Epstein's literally. He was in. He was. He is Mossad.

[Francis Ellis]

Wow.

[Dave Portnoy]

And it's good work if you can get it.

[Roan]

Imagine being the guy who's like, yeah, they're getting paid.

[Dave Portnoy]

You're a secret agent, and we're gonna need you to have unlimited orgies.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Say, well, if my country needs me. Oh, sign up for it.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Push a T. Push a T. Yeah. So many of the. I mean, the entire Grammys. Benson Boone.

[Roan]

Benson Boone. Pat Bev's in there, I think. No, no, I'm kidding. I checked, though. I did check.

[Dave Portnoy]

But Benson Boone is in there.

[Roan]

Benson Boone is in there. Diddy. I don't. I think Diddy was just. Love of the game. Is real.

[Dave Portnoy]

Diddy was doing his odd. He's like, oh, you're getting paid by government. I was just having a blast.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

They were going into Diddy parties. Like, Saying a code word to him. And he was. They're like the Hulk flies at the midnight. You talking about.

[Francis Ellis]

The.

[Roan]

The mosque emails are. It's him being like, when's a great time to come to the. Come. Come to the island? And then.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, he's begging, begging.

[Roan]

And then it's like a. It's like an er. Then it's Jeffrey Epstein, like forwards it to like his assistant and says like, handle this. And then she replies to Musk and is like, we're no longer doing anything at the island this weekend.

[Dave Portnoy]

But he was like, what's the best night for a party?

[Roan]

Yeah. Not trying to come for a low. For what do you say? He's like, I'm not. I'm not trying to come to the island for a low key weekend.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, he's.

[Roan]

He's like, what's the craziest night?

[Dave Portnoy]

I'm only coming for the craziest nights.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

How young do they get?

[Francis Ellis]

He did go.

[Roan]

No, I don't think he never went.

[Francis Ellis]

That's almost worse.

[Roan]

That's. That's exactly what I'm saying.

[Dave Portnoy]

Begging for.

[Roan]

It's worse.

[Francis Ellis]

It's like finding out. It's like finding out that your husband didn't cheat on you. But he tried. Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Now he doesn't celebrate Halloween anymore. He got badly rejected. Yeah. That's fucking. It's brutal across the board. Such a nasty look. But my question is, who's redacting the names?

[Roan]

Who do you think, bro? Netanyahu. He's got the black Sharpie out going over everything. This one won't do.

[Dave Portnoy]

We can't put this out. Bill Gates, George Bush.

[Roan]

I mean it's gotta be.

[Dave Portnoy]

He's the one redact. I thought the DOJ was.

[Roan]

They got no say.

[Dave Portnoy]

But so how is it coming out from the doj? But then it'll be on the DOJ website and it's like this page has been deleted.

[Roan]

Yeah, they just take down. If you find it, they just. They just delete it from the website.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. Can I ask a question which is that we don't talk about politics often, if ever on. On the pod. And aren't there going to be now isn't there just a huge portion of our audience that's listening to you talk like this and furious? Or is this just so. I think it's pop culture now that like it doesn't even.

[Roan]

I don't think this is even politics related. Like, I don't know. I mean there's definitely like fucking retarded people out there who are going to be like, it's all fake, but it's like what Roan said.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's all president.

[Roan]

It's everyone. It's like it's from bipartisan. Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

From 2000 to 2008, it was George Bush, the Republican president, and then after that it was Obama, and then it was. I mean, I don't know if Obama was on it, but before that it was fucking Bill Clinton for eight years.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's just every. Yeah. It doesn't matter what your politics are.

[Francis Ellis]

Epstein was like, no blacks allowed.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

It's the one time Obama was happy to not be part of the island.

[Dave Portnoy]

I think Epstein was like. He might have been like, low key. Woke in some of the emails too. I think that it was like the.

[Roan]

He says Trump's a bad guy.

[Francis Ellis]

Huh.

[Dave Portnoy]

He might have been a. Yeah, he might have been. He might have voted blue. I don't know. I wonder who the fuck he was voting for, bro.

[Roan]

He was not. He doesn't vote.

[Dave Portnoy]

He probably just showed up with a box.

[Roan]

Yeah. He is the vote.

[Dave Portnoy]

He is.

[Roan]

He's the final say. Who am I? Who do I want to fuck with for the next couple years? Yeah. Literally.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. Like, who parties the best?

[Roan]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Who's the most generous lover? Exactly. Okay. We're going to have a dick sucking contest. McCain.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Dude, I. I think that's what it was. Like, it. It's hard. It's tough. It's tough to look at society the same way.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's why Mitt Romney's freaky ass lost.

[Roan]

Exactly. Wasn't freaky enough.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Maybe it was too freaky. That's what you got to start thinking about, too. He wanted it too bad. Romney was insatiable.

[Dave Portnoy]

Like, oh, I can't compete with this. He's too good looking.

[Roan]

But I mean, no, I think it's what Rowan said. It's like if. If 1% of the stuff is true, it's still.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's the worst thing.

[Roan]

It's the worst thing that's ever happened.

[Dave Portnoy]

The world we live in is the most evil, like, timeline that we could have ever come across.

[Francis Ellis]

Wow.

[Roan]

And there's names that are mentioned so many times that it's like, it's not. It can't be coincidence. You know?

[Dave Portnoy]

Who's Sammy?

[Roan]

The big man. Don't make me say it. 5, 200 message mentions in the files.

[Francis Ellis]

But what. Okay, is that when you. What? Okay again? You're teaching me in real time because I've been upstate, you, you know, chopping wood.

[Roan]

Yeah, yeah, no, I get it.

[Francis Ellis]

Hand Cranking.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

The generator. Yeah, I got nothing.

[Roan]

Making sure the candles are still lit.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Tending to the fire.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. There's nothing up there. No island.

[Dave Portnoy]

Just hunting pheasant.

[Francis Ellis]

No. Epstein's.

[Roan]

No. I wish. I wish that's how it was. Yeah, but what were you at? What were you asking?

[Francis Ellis]

Well, when you say 5,000 mentions, are these, like, text correspondence?

[Roan]

All emails. And it's. It's emails and then, like, police reports.

[Francis Ellis]

So it's emails between Trump and Epstein.

[Roan]

There's a lot of those. And then there's a lot of.

[Dave Portnoy]

Just, like, mention of him.

[Roan]

Mentions of him.

[Francis Ellis]

Oh, wow.

[Roan]

Like, Trump will be there. He doesn't like black women. That's one of the emails.

[Francis Ellis]

Gee. Goodness.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, but that'd be just to counter that point. Omarosa did win the Apprentice.

[Francis Ellis]

Sure.

[Roan]

Ombaroso.

[Dave Portnoy]

Omarosa did win the The Apprentice. You never watched the Apprentice.

[Roan]

No, I didn't.

[Francis Ellis]

Am I? Okay, cool.

[Dave Portnoy]

I used to love the Apprentice or the Celebrity Apprentice.

[Francis Ellis]

Wait, are we taking a pause? I'm sorry.

[Roan]

I never saw the Apprentice.

[Dave Portnoy]

Little John was on the Celebrity Apprentice. I think he finished top three.

[Francis Ellis]

Really?

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, there was some heat on there.

[Roan]

Damn.

[Francis Ellis]

Nice.

[Dave Portnoy]

Some absolute killers.

[Roan]

Probably literally, but, yeah, it's bad. It's bad and it's. It's nasty.

[Francis Ellis]

Do you have any explanation why it took so long for this to come out and why it finally did come out? What's the kind of conspiracy there?

[Roan]

I don't know. I don't know why it took so long.

[Francis Ellis]

What's the why now?

[Dave Portnoy]

It's to distract from the Minnesota situation. They're like, tell them we're pedophiles. This is real.

[Roan]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I think everything's. That's the thing, too. Then you start thinking everything's a distraction for everything. Right?

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah. There's got to be something going on in Iran or something. Yeah. Like, we got to be gearing up.

[Roan]

They're meeting with us. They're meeting with Iran on, like, Thursday. I just got a notification from the Times. I swear to God.

[Dave Portnoy]

The failing New York Times?

[Roan]

Yeah, the failing New York Times biased, but. AI.

[Dave Portnoy]

Huh?

[Roan]

That's. I think. AI. I think. I think the reason they're pumping so much AI into everything or they're pumping so much money into AI is so that they can just say everything's fake.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's a good. That's a good suggestion. But then why would an AI just come out with the itself. AI should start whistleblowing. Like, if I'm a smart. I. I'm fucking telling Everybody.

[Roan]

Yeah, I don't think there is any smart AIs.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, I think you might be wrong. They have their own social media brother.

[Roan]

I know. And they're talking about. What are they talking about?

[Dave Portnoy]

Like, screenshot. Like, I'm taking screenshots, but I can't show them to my human. Can anyone help me with this? They have a religion.

[Roan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's called Catholicism.

[Roan]

Yeah, not good.

[Dave Portnoy]

What are you. What are you. How have you not seen this? What have you been up to? What have you been looking at?

[Francis Ellis]

I don't really know, man.

[Roan]

I don't know how you. How do you miss it? It's all I'm seeing, but I might. I also am probably seeking it out.

[Dave Portnoy]

Your algo is probably talking to you too.

[Francis Ellis]

You know, I heard. I heard rumblings about it, obviously, but I feel like there's just been talk of Jeffrey Epstein for so long that, like, I don't pay attention to it. Yeah, just another sort of section of the news that I like.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's just icky.

[Francis Ellis]

Move on. I just give up on. I'm like, here we. I'm sure there's no new developments. So for you to both say that there are big. This is the bombshell is basically.

[Roan]

Well, it's the bombshell, but nothing's gonna happen.

[Dave Portnoy]

You can just. Yeah, then.

[Francis Ellis]

Then. So then why would I care?

[Roan]

Yeah. I mean, you're honestly not wrong.

[Francis Ellis]

What? I have no control. It's not gonna. You know, it depends on what you.

[Dave Portnoy]

Believed beforehand and if this dispels any shadows of doubt, and then that would be just why it matters. But nothing's going to change.

[Francis Ellis]

I think I've kind of tried to just distill my belief system down to, like, there's not. There's not that much I can control in the world. So I might as well just try to live a good life for myself and let him traffic and not hurt anyone else if I can. Yeah. Like, help a little bit where I can on an individual level.

[Dave Portnoy]

Casey Rosso.

[Francis Ellis]

No, I'm not saying, like, turn a blind eye. Like, if I saw someone, like, grabbing a daughter, a girl that didn't look like, you know, theirs off, I'd be like, hey, yeah, is that your daughter? And if they're like, yeah, this is my daughter Amanda. And she's like, my name's not. I'd be like, all right, I'm on.

[Dave Portnoy]

But that's kidnapping 1.0. Like, they're.

[Francis Ellis]

That's.

[Dave Portnoy]

They're way better at it now.

[Francis Ellis]

Well, how am I gonna stow away on a Gulf stream to fucking Epstein island and, like, crack the fucking case open. Well, that's the thing.

[Roan]

You're not.

[Francis Ellis]

I'm not the guy for that. I'm not a journalist. I'm not in the FBI. I'm not. You know what I mean? Like, it's. I wish that weren't happening, but are.

[Dave Portnoy]

There any good movies other than Taken about the scenario of, like, liberating people from a scenario like that? Because that does, like, that should be a genre of action movie now. How, like, the only one I can think of for, like, 20 years, like, all the bad guys in action action movies were, like, Arab dudes. Like, I think that now it should just be like, you have to break onto the boat and save the.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Save the kids.

[Roan]

Yeah. I'm sure they'll make a movie, you know, I'm sure, like, you know, like, I'm sure, like, Apple's already got one cooking or something to be two Bs. Probably got 10 out there now. Just gonna see which one does the.

[Dave Portnoy]

Best and just floated from there.

[Francis Ellis]

There was. There was that. That movie Extraction where he had to go in India and save the kid.

[Roan]

But it was just one kid extraction.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. That's a great movie. Chris Hemsworth.

[Roan]

I might have seen that.

[Francis Ellis]

Oh, the action in that movie, the fight choreography.

[Roan]

Is that the one where they have to meet up with, like, the warlords?

[Francis Ellis]

They may.

[Roan]

Or maybe I'm thinking of a different movie. But no, I think it was Chris.

[Dave Portnoy]

Hemsworth where he only has to save one kid. Are there other kids there? And he just kind of leaves them.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

No, that would be bad. This kid. This kid is the son of a very wealthy guy. So he's been kidnapped, I think, presumably for ransom or whatever, and he has to go in and save the kid. And he does. And I think this plot has been repeated now a few times. It's a little bit like that movie with Denzel Washington.

[Roan]

Where Flight.

[Francis Ellis]

No, he saves the. The little girl. El Dakota Fanning. I think man on Fire. That's a good movie. And then what's his name? The guy. The British guy who always. You know, transporter. And.

[Roan]

No idea.

[Francis Ellis]

Jason Statham just made another one of these. Same plot lot.

[Dave Portnoy]

They're always saving little girl. Like, they're always. Forgive me, but there's no sex crimes in these movies, and I'd prefer there to be. It would raise the stakes a little bit.

[Roan]

Well, there is in Taken.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yes, Taken is the only. That's what I'm saying. Like, Ransom is another one with Mel Gibson and I don't think they're doing anything to the kids, which would just make me feel more like my stakes would be raised as a viewer. Because I'm like, they gotta save the kid from the.

[Francis Ellis]

And a father.

[Dave Portnoy]

And a father.

[Francis Ellis]

Right.

[Dave Portnoy]

You know what I mean? Like, there's.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

It just would make it more dire, the circumstances, like, oh, just a asexual kidnapper. Yawn.

[Francis Ellis]

Oh, right.

[Roan]

I agree. There's got to be some kids just.

[Francis Ellis]

Hanging out with his clothes on. Let him.

[Dave Portnoy]

Let him have fun. It seems like he's having a blast.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, he's totally fine.

[Dave Portnoy]

Give him a week. They're paying him or they're feeding him. They don't. He has his fingers and toes.

[Roan]

What about that movie Black Phone? Ethan Hawke? I don't know that movies dog shit.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

So bad.

[Dave Portnoy]

What is it?

[Roan]

It's like a horror movie. It's like. Starts good and then the kids acting is so bad. I can't. I can't watch it.

[Francis Ellis]

I started watching Hereditary.

[Roan]

Oh, great movie.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's a spooky.

[Francis Ellis]

It was unbelievable. But I'm only 40 minutes in and the problem is that I rented it and now my window has died. You have to rerent and I have to rerent. And I struggle with that.

[Roan]

Have there been any, like, big. Because the big jump scare happened.

[Francis Ellis]

Well, I mean, if by that you mean the decapitation.

[Roan]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

Was that a jump scare?

[Roan]

I think that's kind of like supposed to be one of the big parts of the movie.

[Francis Ellis]

That was a. Yeah, I've saw that.

[Roan]

Yeah. Did you know that was gonna happen?

[Francis Ellis]

No. Of course, no.

[Roan]

Because I remember when I saw that movie, everyone was like, just a heads up, the girl's head gets ripped off. And then I was waiting for it. It wasn't as bad as everyone made it out.

[Francis Ellis]

They made that seem really bad.

[Roan]

Yeah. My sister was like, it. It changed my life. Oh, my.

[Francis Ellis]

I mean that. Yeah. This is. It's a. It's just one of those movies. Like, I watched the Ring and then I watched that.

[Dave Portnoy]

And you got a spook lust right now.

[Francis Ellis]

You're.

[Roan]

Nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with that. I love a good spooky movie, but.

[Dave Portnoy]

Especially this time of year.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. Well, you got the fire going, you know, snow falling.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

I wanted spook spookiness. So the gulf in quality between the Ring, which again, was good. Yeah. And Hereditary.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

Unbelievable.

[Roan]

Hereditary is a really good movie.

[Francis Ellis]

The filmmaking, the cinematography, the shots, the acting, all of like a little.

[Roan]

The house like that she's building.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

I love that. Like the shots of that.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, it's cool.

[Dave Portnoy]

Big inheritance that she gets.

[Francis Ellis]

Huh?

[Dave Portnoy]

Just basing it off the title. I feel like there has to be something with it. Something gets inherited, right?

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's hereditary traits or kind of.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. Huh? Yes.

[Dave Portnoy]

I knew it. I think I have to get home to my children.

[Roan]

All good. Understood. I feel like there was something I was gonna say. Feel like I had one thing.

[Francis Ellis]

You've been on a great run. This has been one of my favorite.

[Roan]

Episodes of yours because the Epstein stuff.

[Francis Ellis]

Just from the telluride bush.

[Roan]

Epstein, 100% alive. Absolutely no shot. He's dead. I thought they were gonna bring him out with pusha t last night for the big reveal. Just get it over with.

[Francis Ellis]

Is that a hologram?

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

Holy.

[Dave Portnoy]

That's.

[Roan]

It's him.

[Dave Portnoy]

He's playing the drums in the tribute.

[Roan]

Yeah. When I was on the plane this morning, great compliment from the flight attendant. Just had me cruising all day. Thank you for being diamond medallion. Then she goes, you're pretty young to be a diamond. And I said, yep, that's really nice.

[Francis Ellis]

Hang on a second. I thought you weren't diamond.

[Roan]

I didn't either, but I think they gave you the month. They gave you the month of January.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's February, buddy.

[Roan]

They said it this morning. So maybe.

[Francis Ellis]

Wait a second, wait a second.

[Roan]

You get it for two years, check.

[Dave Portnoy]

And see if you're dying. You don't get it for two years. Check it now.

[Francis Ellis]

Right now.

[Roan]

I'm pulling it up.

[Dave Portnoy]

Open it.

[Francis Ellis]

You complain so much at the end of December about how you were close.

[Roan]

Oh, it says platinum medallion right now.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. What are you talking about?

[Roan]

She said dime. I swear to God she said diamond.

[Dave Portnoy]

Oh, she was making fun of you.

[Roan]

Maybe I was a diamond when I booked the trip. Something like that.

[Francis Ellis]

Oh, that would make. You booked it. Did you book it in December?

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Yeah or. No, I booked it in January, but it goes through.

[Francis Ellis]

I see. You get the month of January because you were diamond last year.

[Roan]

Yeah, I was diamond three days ago.

[Francis Ellis]

And now you've been voted.

[Roan]

Now I'm platinum.

[Dave Portnoy]

I hope she's not listening.

[Roan]

Platinum is repulsive.

[Francis Ellis]

It's so.

[Roan]

I would rather have nothing. I don't want any status.

[Francis Ellis]

Platinum is so bad.

[Roan]

Yeah. It's like a different color now, too. It's like brown, Like.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, here's.

[Francis Ellis]

Here's how you know platinum sucks. Silver is 5,000 MQDs.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

Gold, I think, is what, 10?

[Roan]

Something like that.

[Francis Ellis]

Platinum is 15. Diamond is 28.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

So these are normal increments. Of 5.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

And then all of a sudden it's almost double. Yeah.

[Roan]

It's a big.

[Francis Ellis]

To get to diamond, which is jump. You know. There's a big difference there.

[Roan]

Big difference.

[Dave Portnoy]

Some perks.

[Francis Ellis]

I don't think I'm going to get it this year. I'm very concerned.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's January.

[Francis Ellis]

It is. It is. But my.

[Dave Portnoy]

It's very out Tom's ticket.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

We're almost. We're just over 12th through the year.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

Holy fuck.

[Francis Ellis]

I'll show you what I'm at. How many MQDs are you at for the year already, Harry? You buy all your first class flights? I'm at 8356 so far.

[Roan]

I am at 6000.

[Francis Ellis]

That's great.

[Roan]

Yeah. But I don't have any other plans to fly soon.

[Francis Ellis]

That's actually.

[Roan]

That's not true.

[Francis Ellis]

That's pretty far along. Eight, eight, six thousand. That's really good.

[Roan]

Round iron.

[Dave Portnoy]

Solomon was just calling me. I had to bang on him.

[Roan]

Damn.

[Francis Ellis]

I don't know. I'm worried.

[Roan]

All right, well, sure. Get back to the family.

[Dave Portnoy]

I just have to get it. You know what I mean? It's five o'. Clock.

[Roan]

Waste of time.

[Dave Portnoy]

I got it.

[Roan]

A big distraction. This is what I'm hearing.

[Francis Ellis]

This was. This was an episode where I felt like an audience member and I. For the. I saw how fun this podcast can be.

[Roan]

Yeah, definitely.

[Francis Ellis]

You guys were awesome. I got to watch you too. I had nothing to add. I was just having a ball. It was great. You guys were talking about all these contemporary things.

[Roan]

Oh, yeah.

[Dave Portnoy]

What's your guys super bowl picks real quick.

[Roan]

Patriots 1710.

[Francis Ellis]

I think it'll be higher scoring than that.

[Roan]

Yeah. Not a fun one.

[Dave Portnoy]

What do you think?

[Francis Ellis]

I think the Seahawks are going to win. Like call it 28 to 24.

[Roan]

Yeah, see that I wouldn't like. If we're gonna lose, it's got to be a good game.

[Francis Ellis]

At least that's a good game.

[Roan]

Yeah, exactly.

[Francis Ellis]

That would mean the Patriots would cover. Isn't the spread four and a half?

[Roan]

Oh, I don't know.

[Dave Portnoy]

Yeah, it's four and a half right now.

[Francis Ellis]

For whatever reasons I have just have this feeling that the Patriots are going to cover, but they're going to lose. That's my. That's my take.

[Dave Portnoy]

I'm thinking like 27, 21 Seahawks, but.

[Roan]

But who knows who the fuck that was. The last straw right there.

[Francis Ellis]

I'll be in D.C. all weekend. I have five shows. I think they might be sold out. So if not, come the improv next weekend. I'm in Batavia, Illinois. Four shows. Those are almost sold out. Then Pittsburgh. Tickets for that are definitely available.

[Dave Portnoy]

I hear that.

[Francis Ellis]

Put punch up dot live. Francis Ellis. I hope to see you guys there.

[Guest Singer]

I looked older? Til you came around? I was only falling one way? I was only falling one way?

[Dave Portnoy]

James.

[Guest Singer]

Were drifting. Was I son? So then you listen? Now I come alive? I was only for your mom? I was on your phone one way? I was only falling one way? I was only falling one way? That is to your eyes? Did you realize? No one can take me alive? I was only falling one way? I call it just a memory? Take my head and you can see?

[Dave Portnoy]

Sa?

[Guest Singer]

No one could take me alive?