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A
Hey, son of a boy. Dad. Listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.
B
I'm not going back to college to be your friend.
C
I'm going so I can get Uber one for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber Eats. I'm there for $0 delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 10% off smoothies and.
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Savings, not whatever you think college is for.
D
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C
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D
That's a proper clap.
B
It's a man's clap.
E
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B
Arms extended like a damn alligator's mouthful.
D
I wanted to make sure I hit all the. Hit all the angles. That's what it's for.
B
It's Tuesday morning. Right now.
D
Yes. All righty. Welcome back to the Son of a Boy dad podcast. Today it is Tuesday morning. Obviously this is being recorded during fish week, which is being. Which is being recorded at a time that we will not tell you.
B
Yeah, Naughty, naughty time. But do what's right. That's what this bike class.
A
Fish week.
C
Cheers, boys.
D
Here. Cheers. Non alcoholic, of course. Athletic.
C
I had them on hand for him.
D
Athletic Brewing.
C
Francis.
D
Delightful host. Sympathetic, phenomenal host.
B
We'll be honest what do you think of when you walk into Francis's place for the first time because he's been here before? What are you walking into when you come into a spot like this?
D
I mean, it's. It really just.
C
You.
D
I just get. I'm just jealous immediately.
B
It's deeply humbling.
D
Yeah. You walk in my first three. My first thing is, like, you know, that's my first reaction.
C
Oh, that's nice. I mean, I appreciate it. Really.
D
You gotta be. No, I'm kidding.
B
No, no, no, no, seriously.
D
No, it's really like. It's. It's a. It's just a. It's really nice.
C
I appreciate it.
B
It has tall Bavarian roofs in the atrium area as you walk in. Like.
D
Yeah.
B
There's space they don't know what to do with. There's not a city in America where this is attainable.
C
No.
D
Oh, God, no. Maybe la.
A
No.
B
What?
C
Oh, you mean like an apartment?
B
An apartment like this?
C
Yeah. We're in the middle of nowhere.
D
I could see it in la.
A
No.
D
Rich as.
B
Yeah. You'd have to be.
D
Doesn't it kind of. It kind of has the feel. I don't know. I guess you guys both live in, like, pretty modern apartments anyway.
B
Very modern.
D
Yeah.
B
So many modern.
D
It's a modern.
B
It's very modern and masculine.
C
I feel very lucky. I love this place, and it makes me happy to share it with you all.
B
Yeah, we were so excited. I mean, look at this banquette.
C
Thanks for making the effort.
D
The banquette is sick.
C
I appreciate it. Shout out to tyrique and frasenda for the banquette.
D
And why don't we hit the speakers? Let's hit the speakers guy as well.
C
You want to hear some? You want to. You actually want me to play the music? No, we can't. We get in trouble.
D
No, but you did.
B
You said you sent them, right?
D
That guy. Shout out.
C
Absolutely. Well done. Michael torello at torello audio. I believe I'll make sure I get that right. But his home audio installation is unbelievable. The guy's the fucking man.
B
The acoustics are very typical.
C
Give it up. Very typical, torello.
B
Very tippy by him. And facenda, too. Yeah, I'm so. And tyrique and tyreek. If this glass falls over onto this hard of a surface, it will shatter into a billion pieces.
D
I worry about putting it down even.
C
So this is our table that we've talked about.
D
Yeah.
C
This is the table that was made by the awesome guys at armenia stone resource center. Pulled this right out of the earth around here. This huge Slab of blue stone. Shout out to everybody that advised me on how to make this. And shout out to our boys, the handsome brothers, of course.
D
Oh yeah, I forgot about the handsome brothers.
B
Brothers. I can't believe.
C
And brought it down to the right size.
B
Did they move this around in here?
C
We did. Yeah. And then we had two other men come in and they put it on rollers to roll it out there the way that the Egyptians moved the stones for the supposedly for the pyramids.
D
Supposedly.
C
What do you mean supposed?
D
Supposedly.
C
What do you mean aliens? Come on.
D
Yeah.
C
So what were they doing?
D
No.
C
Did they just have a better sense of the physics?
D
I'm kidding. I don't know.
C
The roller thing blew my mind.
D
Yeah. Yeah.
C
Because it transfers. I don't understand it neither.
B
What is the roller thing?
C
They had these pipes and we just rolled it. And we had previously carried it in with eight guys, which was the hardest thing I've ever been a part of. No, I'm talking about I've gone through like horrible breakups and doing that was way worse. And it only took 20 minutes. It's the hardest thing I've ever done.
D
I didn't know. I didn't even know.
C
I've had to bury pets. I've buried pets that I loved.
B
I remember that.
D
I didn't know that you. I didn't know it took. When you said you brought it in, I assumed it took like like one trip.
C
Think about this. The base of this weighs 800 pounds.
D
Yeah.
C
And the top of it weighs 700.
B
It looks like a gravestone you'd find at like a very old church.
C
Doesn't it feel insane manly though?
B
It feels like a murder weapon.
C
Dirty. And it's feels like trip.
B
You'll cross crack your head open on this.
C
But it you them soften the sides.
D
That doesn't mean that's all soft.
C
Trust me. These were pointed edges.
D
What do you think's gonna happen if you hit the corner? You're just gonna bounce off of it because it's soft.
B
Oh, you baby proofed it.
C
Okay, look, if you guys can't be here for 24 hours without falling and knocking your head on my table.
B
Listen, we brought hoverboards and we were about to slide around the nowhere to hover here. We can't hover in circles around your lane sized island. It literally looks like in basketball where they shoot free throws around.
D
Yeah, it. It feels like it's would be one of the best tables to play cards on.
C
Oh, what a great thought, right? I would happily do that later.
D
They slide.
C
Yeah.
B
Are you worried about rings on this table?
C
No, I've. Trust me, I've beaten that. You can beat this thing up. This comes straight out of the earth, brother.
B
So you can't get a ring on it?
C
No, no, no.
D
Have you ever seen the. Have you ever seen the. Those videos of, like, the Indian dudes playing, like, that weird version of pool where they're like.
C
Yeah, that's amazing.
D
Yeah, and they're like. They're like. They're like lounging like this.
B
And then.
C
Yeah. They flicking it hits seven walls and somehow knocks the thing in perfectly, you think. How many times have they played.
D
It's pretty much like they're playing air hockey.
C
It's incredible.
B
What kind of Indian? Native American.
D
Yes.
B
That's what you're talking about.
C
I wasn't.
D
No, I was talking. But I'm sure Native Americans play it. They play all the games.
C
Non Indian.
B
Yeah. So most.
C
The flat bread.
B
Yeah.
A
Okay.
C
With garlic.
B
Because the other Indian plays a game where you, like, throw. It's like a side basketball.
C
Have you seen that game you're talking about cricket?
B
No. There's like a hoop on the side of the wall, and they, like, climb up the wall and throw it through a side.
C
I am not familiar with that game.
B
It must be Aztec.
C
It's definitely not cricket, I'll tell you that much. Way off with cricket.
D
Yeah, it's definitely not cricket.
C
Guys, we went fishing today.
B
Yeah, it's fish week and we just went.
A
Fish week.
B
I guess that video.
D
That's a ring idea. How expensive this table is?
B
I asked.
A
I just said.
D
And you're leaving rings?
B
I just asked.
C
We talked about it. The rings are fine.
D
I'll believe it when I see it.
C
That'll go away.
D
Almost disrespectful, putting it back down on the same ring.
B
No. You want to keep that ring?
C
If you guys are bothered, I'll give you some coasters. They remain in Rwanda from the blood of the genocide.
B
Get the coasters. What am I going to waste a genocide?
D
No, true. What will be the point of the genocide?
B
Death won't be in. If we use these coasters right now. Shout out to our brothers in Sudan. Of course, if we're talking genocide, shout.
D
Out to our brothers in Sudan. Shout out to everyone still in New York City. Hope everything's going okay there.
A
Seriously.
D
We pulled out.
B
We heard the call to prayer this morning. We got on the road. We got out of there as soon as. As. What was the call to prayer this morning?
D
S. I don't know.
C
Hello?
B
No, no, it was. What was it?
D
I have no clue.
B
No, you said it earlier. Sass. It was. Or. No, it was the other one. It was the other one. It was like.
D
I don't know what you're talking about.
C
Have you guys heard the call to prayer ever?
D
No.
C
In a city?
D
No.
C
Tell you what, I'm kind of a fan. I'm not going to lie.
B
Yeah, we just. We're not used to those notes. I know they use different, like quarter notes and half notes.
C
It's kind of like, I don't know, haunting and beautiful. Am I. Am I wrong for saying that?
B
No. Beautiful as well. Since you added the beautiful.
C
Yeah. Well, I'll say this. If I heard in New York. Just haunting. Yeah. Yeah, just haunting, maybe. But in the countries where I've heard it, it's been beautiful.
D
Yeah. I've never heard it.
B
It's a beaut. It's beautiful.
D
Yeah.
C
You didn't hear it, Harry. You didn't go to the Muslim musical in London?
D
No.
C
With your mom? Wicked.
A
No.
D
Is Wicked a Muslim musical?
B
Yeah.
C
Is that the only musical you've seen?
D
Yeah.
C
I thought you went every year to go to a musical with your. Your family.
D
No.
C
Oh, that was my favorite thing. I'm disappointed to learn that.
D
No, we don't do that. We never are going to musicals. We would go to the Boston Pops.
C
You did?
D
Yeah.
C
Yeah. Every year.
D
No, I went like twice. And then I was like, I'm good on this.
C
You went to the Boston Pops?
B
This.
D
We would go for my mom's birthday.
C
Yeah.
B
Because you wanted to be cultured. I get that. As like middle aged white person.
D
Yeah. It's fun too. Her birthday's right around Christmas, so it's like the Christmas.
C
It's very fun.
B
Have you been to the Pop.
D
Kids love it. We have a blast.
C
I've never been to the Pops. No.
D
Oh, you would like it.
B
As a Boston man, As a New Englander.
C
I know.
B
That'S what you hear.
D
And everyone's like, what the.
C
Where.
D
Where is he?
B
I think the Rockettes are severely overrated.
D
Yeah.
B
It just bores the out of me anytime I'm in there. Because it's like they can't fill the barn. First of all. There's 65 of the people in there.
D
Yeah.
B
Barn's never full in Radio City. And like, is that.
D
They do that? Radio City?
B
Yeah.
D
Oh, that's their. They're shooting for the stars. That's crazy.
B
That's like where it started.
D
8,000 tickets.
B
Exactly.
C
Right?
D
I thought it was eight.
C
I think it's six, but still, regardless.
B
Huge.
C
It's a ton.
B
But it feels half empty around the fringes and it just. It's like a bummer.
D
Yeah. Yeah.
C
If you have a dream. New York City venue to play someday.
D
Main room at the Stand.
B
I mean you're 20ft away from that. Post two more pics with Shane Gillis. I think you're there. Yeah, I think that's all you need out.
C
No. One more SNL without me and you'll be fine.
B
Yeah. Just distance yourself from Francis and you're in there.
D
Yeah, I think probably. I really don't know to be honest. Maybe because the theaters still just scare the out of me. Like the idea of them. So none of them because of what happened to Lincoln. Exactly. All right, so no, I would say the Beacon. Probably cool. Or Town Hall. Town Hall I think is cool too for me.
B
Forest Hills.
C
No, it's without a doubt. It's Carnegie Hall.
D
Yeah. Carnegie Hall. Sick.
C
Carnegie hall for me has been a dream that has superseded almost any other dream I've had in stand up.
D
Have you ever been.
B
You don't go. You don't go there until you're. You're headlined.
C
Yeah, I have not. That's what they say.
B
It's bad luck.
D
I've been.
B
It's bad luck to go backstage.
C
Well, you clearly. You go to a lot of classical music. We've learned.
B
You saw the New York pop?
D
Pretty much my. Yeah, My sister performed there. I. Oh, an orchestra.
C
That's cool.
B
What the fuck? Your sister's a world class orchestra?
D
Pretty much, yeah.
B
Orchestrator. Yeah.
D
I think that's actually why we started going to the pops.
B
What does she play?
D
She played the violin.
B
What?
D
Yeah.
B
You have an Asian sister. That's so impressive. I didn't realize your family was biodiverse like that.
A
Yeah. Yeah.
B
That's sick.
C
She's really good.
B
She's really good at the violin. That's. That seems so impressive and useful.
D
Yeah.
B
Like the third, fourth most useful instrument. Drums.
C
Drums. Yeah.
D
I would say drums might be one.
B
Well, I'm saying those are the top three.
D
Yeah. Most useful.
C
Yeah, I agree with that.
B
And then what do you think is his fourth is violin.
C
It's hard not to say bass because bass really. You can play an acoustic bass in jazz and stuff like that. Bass, guitar and rock. Or every other band. Right, A lot of bands.
B
But not at a bar in Derry.
C
No, did not.
B
In County Cork. You can't play bass.
C
I'm trying to think. That's a good question.
B
What's the Fourth most useful instrument. Don't make him say harp. He will.
C
I was gonna say almost like saxophone, but I think. I think violin's the right answer.
B
Violin is up there, bro.
D
Yeah. Violins up there. Saxophone, I would say, is up there as well.
B
And there's a classiness to being able to play the violin.
D
French horn.
C
No, that's absolutely not. That's nowhere near.
B
Take it back.
D
Sounds like you. You guys have never appreciated the raw sound of the French horn.
B
Trumpet, maybe?
C
Alone. You ever listen to the French horn alone?
D
Beautiful instrument.
B
No, the French horn.
A
What.
B
What songs even feature the French horn?
D
I've never heard a song. I mean, I can't.
B
Like Aaron Copeland, maybe, Or like.
D
I mean, there's all. There's definitely a French horn in that song at some point. We probably just don't know where.
C
Harry.
B
Chopin, maybe.
C
I know you are a tactile sort of fan, right? Remember, we. We both pushed the felts in their other directions, and you said, don't get started, because as soon as you do, you won't be able to stop.
D
Stop.
C
How about feeling this table now?
D
My hands are too sweaty.
B
Or putting your cheek to it. Have you ever put your cheek to the table?
C
I haven't. Because I didn't know if I wanted to hear the sound of men swinging pickaxes.
B
It's so cool. It's so cool on your face.
C
Dying under the weight of the granite that collapses on their shins.
B
Like a dog would love to lay down on this table, but there's all these.
C
These imperfection spots that I. I'm quite fond of.
D
Yeah, you should shave them.
C
What am I.
D
Get the sander out.
B
The belt sander. Just some sandpaper. I heard the new call. Call to prayer in New York is French Montana saying. Huh.
D
I thought you were about to say something about the new Call of Duty.
B
I heard the new.
D
I was like, oh, sweet.
B
I heard the new call to prayer is DJ Khaled saying, we the best.
D
Yeah, I would with that. Big time waking up to that. Because he's.
B
Because he's Muslim.
C
DJ Khaled.
B
Oh, actually, maybe not.
C
Khalid.
D
Yeah. I think that's how it's pronounced.
B
Hood.
C
Yeah. Do you call it?
B
Yeah, dude. Yeah. We went fishing today. I can't wait for people to see the video.
C
Yeah, we did.
B
It was. You say it was good?
C
No, I wouldn't call it good.
D
I would say it was phenomenal.
C
Really?
D
Yeah.
C
Okay.
B
I didn't learn until today that you didn't catch fish for your first 18 times, which makes what we did today.
D
It wasn't. I wouldn't say it was 18 straight. It was like I caught fish early on and then I started fishing in New Jersey and I caught, I didn't catch fish for probably 18 times.
C
Oh my God. That's so many zip car rentals that went wrong.
D
Yeah, I would be like almost on like the verge of tears coming home. Like, I would be like, I would be like, I'd be talking to my friends. Like, let me know if you know anyone that like, needs extra gear because I'm giving mine away. Like, I'm done. I'm done with this.
B
Just a vintage store full of all your customized Orvis.
C
Yeah, let's.
D
Should we eat?
C
Eat sweet and we'll be right back. We'll do ads here or something.
A
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B
Come on. Post dinner, pre, after dinner drink, though.
C
Sure.
B
So no aperitifs have been had?
C
No digestives.
D
No Opera.
B
No opera operation before, though.
C
Opera means after.
B
Oh.
C
It means avant is before. You never heard opera operation.
D
Like opera ski.
C
Yeah, there you go.
D
Of course.
B
Of course.
C
We were talking about Harry's idiot days of shredding the powder on the way up here.
D
We did. We did.
C
We said, boy, oh, boy, did I start out strong.
B
And then we talk a little bit about skiing.
C
Duxbury Ski Team. And you had. You were on the racing team, but.
D
Yeah, but I wasn't a ski. I wasn't a racer.
C
Why not?
D
Because I had. I didn't have racing skis.
C
There you go. Yeah, that's right.
D
Yeah. Which does make a big difference.
C
It absolutely.
D
This was. I'm talking like, I was in, like the tight suit with the bin on. Yeah, but you were with the bib on the bin.
C
Twin tips.
D
With twin tips.
C
Solomon 1080s.
D
Yes. Armandas.
C
Oh, Armadas.
D
Like used Armandas. I got on like, ebay.
C
Armada.
D
Armada.
B
How the hell do you know Armadas? He's saying Armada like a Spanish Armada.
D
Don't be laughing like you've ever heard of the brand.
B
I'm listening to him correct you. You guys are saying, like inside brands and chuckling just as the brand name. Yeah, I'm in some Armando Solomon.
C
Well, I like that he kept. It was like he was saying Armando like Galaro, the pitcher that almost. That, oh, deserved a perfect game but never got it.
D
Yeah, well, you know, like we were saying in the car, it's ice. You're skiing on ice. And the people that have the racing skis. Their, their, their skis are like razor blades. They cut through the ice.
C
Hey, you're not wrong about that.
D
Mine had rust on them.
C
Yeah.
D
And I would slide down the mountain.
C
Why do you get brown streak behind you? Why didn't you get them tuned? It was like 12 bucks where we.
D
Grew up, because there wasn't any places.
B
Near.
D
Near like Cape Cod to get.
C
Your skis to where you were. You went skiing with the ski team, though. That mountain didn't have someplace that could wax them for you.
B
It.
D
Dude, the mountain was like, it was the equivalent to walking into like a 7 11. Like they had like, they had like drinks. Like, it wasn't like a real mountain. Like, you could get like french fries if you were really hungry. We weren't. We weren't. It wasn't like we were sitting down and being like, what are you guys gonna get for dinner?
B
He's just talking about getting your skis tuned, though. He's not talking about high end steak tips or something.
D
They didn't say. They don't. They didn't sell like a hat if you were cold. There was. What I'm trying to say is they didn't have anything.
B
It was like a high school football game.
C
Yes.
D
Literally, there was like a kid working behind the counter that you could get your pass.
C
They had no T shirts, no souvenir T shirts. They didn't even have trail maps.
D
Now the worst was when we had to do our season passes because it was everyone.
C
Yeah.
D
So it's just every single person at the same time getting a season pass.
C
There's one kid working the window.
D
Exactly. And they had to, like, take photos and everything.
C
Nope.
B
That is the worst. Overloading someone with a line.
D
It was like the DMV for, like, kids. That's what it felt like. Just going through the process, bitching about it. Yeah.
B
It's the worst. Standing in a line at any age. Do you feel like you do you guys feel like you've gotten better at it as you've gotten older?
D
No, I have much worse.
C
I definitely have much worse.
D
I used to be able to just stand in a line when things are going really wrong.
B
You would eat it.
D
I used to just eat that.
C
Yeah.
D
Now I'm a problem. Like at the airport, I'm. I'm huffing and puffing.
C
We know this about you and your Zen.
B
Now you're saying your Zen diagrammed.
C
What was I gonna say?
D
You were saying you're good in line when I was.
C
Now I've reached a point where when things go wrong in terms of lines and, you know, like, help. A flight's canceled and everyone runs over to the help desk, and everyone has got the same problem, and you see someone in front of you flipping out. Okay.
D
I think there's a difference there between being fine. You're just describing people that are. Well, anyone that goes up to that desk and asks a question, it's like, what are you thinking? What do you think that they've got at that desk that we don't have on the app?
C
They can rebook you.
D
They can't do. I think they. Sometimes when they want to rebook you, they gotta go open up, like, delta customer support and be like, I need help work here.
B
Put me to the front of the line. Fair enough. No, but you're like, 95% of travelers aren't, like, app user.
D
Yeah, I know. Every year, like, yeah, they're not app savvy.
C
I know. Yeah.
B
It's a whole different level.
D
I saw a tweet the other day that was. Someone was like, they should make. There should be two airports, one for. One for normal people and one for people who have never been outside before. Because that's what it feels like when you're at the airport.
C
Sure.
B
It definitely does. It's infuriating. The Delta lounge was like that.
C
These days, I do. I do feel that I'm at a point now in my life, though, where when I see other people melting down around me and watching the responses of the authority figures who they are pleading with to solve their problem, and the authority figures are time and again going, like, that's all I can got.
D
Yeah.
C
I watch that, and I go, okay, this isn't gonna get better.
D
Yeah. Yeah.
C
And when I get to the person, I get there with the attitude of.
B
Like, hey, you're Captain save a ho.
A
Huh?
C
I just. I know this.
D
I don't want to make your day any harder.
C
Yeah, a little bit.
D
Yeah.
C
I hate to say it. I do do a little bit of that. I'm like, look, I know. I've been heard.
D
I've been hearing also, when you're at the airport, you want people to know I'm here a lot. This isn't my first rodeo.
C
You do that.
D
No, you're. That's what you're describing right now. You're walking up, you've already got. You're like, can we just. We just. Just figure this out?
B
I get it.
D
Yeah.
C
I pull out my wallet. I'm like, yeah, Delta Customer 106.
D
It's the purple one.
C
You get it.
B
Clank it down.
C
Just skip, skip to track three.
D
Try to bend it. You can't.
C
Cut yourself up a line with that puppy right there.
B
Yeah, it is. I mean, when, when those people are in those circumstances where they are just eating, it sucks. Badly. But when you want to answer out of that person, that also is bad.
D
Yeah.
B
Like, if you need, if you need something from that person and you know that you're about to be like, that's your only scapegoat. That's your only whipping boy that you're like, you're going to have to spend another night in Detroit.
C
Yeah.
B
And nobody on the line will talk to you. Yeah, they're gonna have to hear it. They're gonna have to hear.
D
It is so brutal.
C
I don't get the sense that you have come to this place of peace.
D
No, not at all. Yeah, No, I will say, but like, in some sort, like, the getting, like, being like, I, I, I'm like that, like, I can accept it now.
C
Do you, like I said, the person, though, who's there.
D
No, never.
C
You don't see, that's good.
D
No, I don't get mad at the people that are, like, working at the airport outside of the TSA people.
A
You.
D
Know, so I guess that's like 50. That's a lot of them. That's most of the people at the airport.
C
Why do you get mad at him?
B
Gave up his pre check and he's not unclear anymore. So he's in gen pop.
D
The clear people. I can't even look them in the eyes. I hate them so much. Like, my blood boils as I walk by that kiosk, though.
B
They're all, like, Pyramid scheme employees.
D
It's literally. That's exactly what it is.
C
Yeah.
D
Like, they're telemarketers, right?
A
Marketers.
B
Hey, we got a rock star walking up right now.
D
Yes, exactly.
B
We got a couple minutes so we could talk to you guys about improving.
C
Your color of your eyes when they.
B
Hit you with a rock star. It's the same people in New York who want you to sign a petition.
D
Exactly, exactly.
B
Infuriating.
D
But, yeah, I don't get mad at, like, the gate agents or anything. Like, they're like the flight attendants or anything like that. It's just the tsa, like, if they're throwing. Dude, I'm throwing it back.
B
I also think that this was an important test that, like, we get out of New York City, but we're still ourselves, we still can talk Delta, like, no matter.
D
Oh, yeah, true. We've been talking about the same exact.
B
Drove up here.
C
I was like, finally. Feels like the podcast doesn't feel nice. It feels good.
B
Kind of sunk back into like our comfort food, comfort environment or comfort topics. The black currant in the wine, the BlackBerry, the tobacco. It's all nice, you know?
D
Yeah, agreed.
B
What was the name of the bakery.
C
We went to today in Kent Wilson's.
B
Was it?
C
Yeah, it was.
B
It says it on the bag. It says it on the bag. Tyler, what does that bag say?
C
I think it's Wilson's.
D
Wilson's.
C
By I watch behest shout out. Our guy Andrew. That was his name, right? Andrew hooked it up. Fellow redhead. I'll tell you something. Redheads love to point at me and be like, look at us.
B
Well, you're the. You're the best they have to offer.
C
He did do.
B
That's like the black community hanging a picture of Barack Obama next to Martin Luther King and like John F. Kennedy and Jesus Christ is cross. That's like, yeah, we got one. And Charleston.
C
No, no. He was a handsome guy, but I was gonna say that, like to your clipboard people point. I was pulled over by a guy, you know, on 7th Ave. Near that Whole Foods who was like, he had red hair and he was like, hey, look at us. And I was like, don't insult me. Personally put me. Don't you like that. Don't put me in your bucket. You ugly.
B
They're trying to drag you down.
C
Disgusting. Mayonnaise. Toned.
B
But you can't deny.
D
You can't be self loathing. I'm. I'm loathing of you can't be a self loathing ginger.
C
I don't loathe myself.
D
You loathe your own kind.
C
I loathe of my kind.
D
Yeah, you can't.
B
But you have to be the best they have to offer proudly.
C
If it were up to me, all gingers would be enslaved. I think that we do better under the shackles.
B
Who built the pyramids? It was just gingers.
C
That certainly was not us. That was way too sunny.
B
What would happen?
D
Yeah, you guys would have to work at night.
C
The whole group of us would have been gone.
D
Flashlights probably would have been made way earlier.
B
No, they would have just like moonlight off ginger skin.
D
Yeah, true.
B
This way.
C
What will it be? Death or banishment to work the pyramids for one week in July. Seamus, what do you say?
B
How long could Seamus last? Like, what would happen if Seamus had to actually spend like a month under a pyramid sun?
D
You die.
C
I think about this. I do think about this. I think about this a lot.
D
And you'd burn a lot.
C
If I were. If I were in a. If I were in a plane crash, if I were shipwrecked, if I were cast away.
D
Yeah.
C
On an island by myself, what would I do about sun protection? Because presumably there's no FedEx boxes with some Neutrogena SPF 75 that wa. And helioplex that washed up ashore.
D
Yeah.
C
So what am I doing? Am I tying big banana leaves around my neck?
D
Yeah.
C
Am I not. Not ever going into the sun. I gotta get food.
B
What did you come up with?
D
Yeah. It doesn't sound like he has much of a solution.
C
Well, the question would then be, how quickly would evolution fix me into having some melanoma?
B
You would come out after three weeks. You come out after three weeks like James Brown. You'd have brown eyes.
C
Would I be like, get on up in three weeks? I'd be that burned that I'm flat.
B
You 100.
C
Oh, he lit the marshmallow on fire. He didn't want the golden brown. He just went straight into the flame.
D
I would. I mean, I would. It would be curious to see, you know, because, like, it wouldn't. Like, you would just be a black dude, but it would still be Francis. Like, it would still be your.
A
But I'd have.
C
I'd be like, why immediately? I'd have immediate. But it would be cool for a couple of weeks. No, I think you're wrong. I think even if I burned the first day and then just kept layering on top of that, I think the skin would just start to fall off.
D
Yeah, you would burn. Like, you would. You'd start melting.
B
No, but they're like, big flakes would.
D
Just start falling off.
B
Like, this isn't a new invention. Sunscreen is the new invention. People with red hair and fair skin is not new.
D
Yeah, but what if you're like. If you were born in a world with sunscreen.
B
But I'm saying, what about the. The people with red hair for the 5,000 years before that?
D
Yeah, but those people. A, they probably killed them, and B, they. They were born in a world with no sunscreen. So their bodies probably like.
B
So you think he's. Because he's been coddled.
D
Yeah.
B
Right. He's been fed too many olives.
D
Exactly.
B
And now he can't.
C
Yeah.
B
Stand on his back, go outside.
D
Not saying you don't go outside.
C
I'm saying.
B
But he's the apex predator of. Of his kind.
A
Do you?
D
Outside without sunscreen. You putting sunscreen on every day?
C
Depends on what we're looking at.
D
You put on sunscreen every day.
C
Well, let's put it this way. The moisturizer I put on my face has SPF 25 in it.
D
Exactly.
A
What about the guys?
D
I can't remember the last time I put on sunscreen.
C
Let me tell you something, hairball. You're gonna look like a scrotum when you're 54. And I'm gonna look like a nubile babe's cheeks. Like the ass. You're gonna look like fucking of a young cherub.
B
I used to think that that was all hyperbole. And bathing my young sons, like back of my hand will graze an ass cheek at bath time. And the thread count is insane.
C
Yeah.
D
Thread count.
B
The baby's asses are sheets. It's actually very soft.
D
You're a big thread count guy. I know that.
B
I know. And I mean, it's like 900 plus. It's Egyptian.
C
If I could sleep in sheets made of but skin, I would. I'm not above it, Gene. Who do I think I am? Who wouldn't?
B
Francis takes us on a tour of his house, and he's like, these.
D
I haven't seen. I haven't seen a baby's bottom in many, many moons.
C
Well, you know why? Because 4, 000 of them went into making this banquette.
D
Yeah.
C
Right here. You feel that? You feel that leather that you're feeling?
B
This is baby ass.
C
That is like the entire village.
B
You haven't seen one go, your. Your front door and we're like, I'm gonna put on my shoes.
D
Yeah, it's like the. What's that?
C
It's an orphanage that lost its funding right here.
D
Like Red Dragon. Is that what the movie's called?
C
Well, that was one of the Hannibal Lecter ones, right? Yeah.
D
Where they're like, eating dinner and they're like, you've got to tell us what this meat is. So I'm afraid if I told you, I have to kill you.
B
And what is it?
D
Human. There's a little foreshadowing.
C
There's a scene in Ned Gein where they do that and then they link it right up to the. I'm sure there is Silence of Lambs.
D
Because they do that in the. He does that in the.
C
What's it called?
D
One. The other one, the Dahmer one. He eats human. He gives his neighbor human.
C
Wow.
D
It's friendly. I don't know if I would accept. Yeah. Appreciate the gesture.
B
What. What makes.
D
Typically, a lasagna would be more traditional.
B
And roast human what makes meat good though?
D
Salt and pepper.
B
So what's wrong with human? Come on.
D
Did we talk about it on the podcast? We were talking about if we would eat a bear.
C
Yeah, yeah, we talked about.
D
That was yesterday. Yeah, we recorded a lot this week. Spent a lot of time. Yeah, that was Monday, I think.
B
But yeah, like, what about human is disqualified? Other than the ethics.
C
The.
D
The ethics.
B
But like, the meat does sound good, right?
D
No.
A
Why?
D
Not at all. It sounds terrible.
B
Why?
D
Because you'll probably be like super, like.
C
Gamey and nasty depending on who you're eating.
B
Yeah, most humans are kind of.
C
You don't want. You want a mid fat person. You want a person who's not, you know, ripped, but who isn't obese.
B
You want one of the Australian girls who's like five foot three with the skinny jeans. Girl boss animating girl crazy.
C
You want to eat a woman from like.
D
No interest in eating any humans.
C
I think Puerto Rican women are what you. Exactly what you want.
B
Oh, you want to be attracted to what you eat.
C
No, it's. Look, I'm not Jersey Jerry. Jersey Jerry told me, Francis, you. You know his advice to me post divorce, he goes, francis, you gotta. You got to get with some Latin women. Yes. I think you. I think you could do with a Spanish woman.
B
You could not.
C
That's who you need.
B
You could not.
C
That's who you need. You got to find a Spanish woman.
D
Yeah.
B
It would take them four days to ruin your life.
C
Oh, my God. Not even. You know, we just eat Mexican food. It's not sitting well already.
B
Yeah. I mean, you. Oh, yeah, you guys. But it would. It would end in combustibly.
C
Yeah.
D
Yeah.
C
I'd be the guy walking everywhere subway with like a sign up that said I was burned in an acid attack. Yeah.
D
Yeah.
C
The reason my face is this way is because my wife.
D
Yeah.
C
From Guadalajara through a vat. I don't even know where she got the acid, to be honest with you. I don't know. She was a chemist.
D
She went to England.
B
I kept it on install just in case.
C
I should have been concerned all about all the AAA batteries she was hoarding.
A
Yeah.
B
Just sawing in half and pouring them out into a.
D
That's what happens in like London.
B
What? Oh, battery.
D
You just get. You just get hit with acid.
B
Yeah.
D
Like. Like someone wants to mug you. Like, I'd so much rather have a gun pointed at me than just get hit with acid.
C
Yeah.
B
Squirk, that has acid.
C
You don't know what life is like for someone post acid versus death.
D
Well, I'm obviously, I'm saying I wouldn't rather die, I'm saying. But like, if you're being contextualize a gun, traditionally you don't get killed if you're being mugged. You would be just held up at gunpoint and robbed. Fleeced, we would say.
C
Yeah.
D
And I would rather be fleeced via gun than via acid because it's so easy to get.
B
Just squirt a little acid and just be like a cheeky little acid squirt straight through you.
C
Jay Jordan was telling me a story about how he got mugged recently in New York.
D
Really?
B
Yeah.
D
Was it acid?
C
Five guys came up.
D
Did he get the acid or the gun?
C
Five guys came up, hit him in the head, knocked him to the ground.
B
Where was he?
C
He was in like Harlem. And he said that these people were like, hey, give us your phone, your.
B
Wallet, fucking gentrifying all this stuff.
C
And he said, can I just keep my phone? And they were like, get the out of here.
D
Really?
C
Took his phone?
B
Yeah. Did they beat him extra hard for asking questions?
C
I don't think they beat him any more than the one time, but they.
B
Well, then that's a lesson. Like, you might as well ask.
D
I wish I could walk around with like a sign on me that says like, don't hit me. Like, just. Just ask.
C
Just take.
A
Just take.
D
I'll give it. Like, I'll give it to you.
B
Don't waste your time willingly robbed.
C
I surrender. Yes.
D
Let's talk about it. You don't have to hurt me.
C
If you're looking at me, it's yours. Yes.
D
Yeah.
B
Where are you going that's going to get. You robbed?
C
Me?
B
Yeah.
D
Nowhere.
B
Exactly. But I mean, you're on like the meek Phil trajectory.
D
What is that?
B
Where he's like, I don't even walk from 23rd street to 14th street at 3pm Because.
D
Because he's worried about getting robbed.
B
Yeah.
D
Yeah. That's insane.
B
Yeah, he said he's going to get mugged if he. If he.
D
I think I actually did hear this. Did he tell. Did he talk about that on your show?
B
He told Clemmer that.
D
Oh.
B
When he smashed his own phone. And then he was like, I have to get a new phone. Book me an Apple store appointment. They're like, go walk there. He said, I'm gonna get mugged on the way. 23rd and 7th or. No, 23rd and 6th to whatever. 29th and 7th.
C
There you go. I mean, these are the people we work with.
B
Or maybe it was 14th, I don't know.
C
What to say about that. That's just one of those things where I'm like, I don't know where I am. I don't know what world I live in.
B
That's the safest stretch of New York. It's just.
D
Well, it's not. I wouldn't say it's necessarily a safe stretch of New York. You're not gonna get mugged.
C
But also, it's like, dude, where we work. Meek, you're not the guy.
D
No. You're not the guy.
C
You're not. They're not coming for you.
D
No. I think that's also insane, that. I mean, that's a common thing when people are like. They're like, oh, you live in New York. Must be crazy out there. And you're like, not where I'm at.
B
6 foot, 180.
C
Yeah.
D
Yeah. Also, it's like, I'm not. I'm not involved. I'm not involved with, like, a gang or. I don't have, like, people that are, like, out to kill me. So I'm, like, staying out of trouble for the most part.
B
You're not in the back of the Yellow Cab?
D
No.
B
Snitching on the mob like Curtis Lewis. Like my brother. Sleep well.
D
I know. What do you think he does next? What's his next move?
B
He only got 63 votes in Dumbo.
C
Yikes. I don't know how many people live there, but that's not many more than 63.
B
It was, like, 1%.
C
Yeah.
D
That sucks.
C
Wow.
D
Should have campaigned harder in Dumbo.
B
I know.
C
Are you guys pretty upset about Mom. Donnie winning?
D
No. I mean, I don't really.
C
No.
D
I think I've said everything I have to say about it.
C
You voted for him. Yeah. You're a huge fan.
D
My knowledge is already. I'm already past where. What I know.
B
Yeah.
D
Seems fine.
A
Yeah.
B
I haven't. I. I think you just get up every day and it's the. It's the same going outside, no matter who's the president or the mayor.
D
Yeah, we're outside regardless.
C
Yeah, we're gonna be out.
D
When we were at snl, that's what Rowan kept on saying. We're outside.
C
I don't know why I need to rub it in.
D
He was hammering outside. We're outside.
B
You had a joint that looked like a baseball bat. Like, it was, like, really narrow at the end. It looked like a souvenir baseball bat that you get and, like, put ice cream in at a Mets game or something like that. It got so wide at the end. It was like, A friendly Sunday cup. And it just got super wide, as when you were outside holding it like this.
D
Simply false.
B
And you're like, get up. Stand up. Looking me in the eye with your eyes completely halfway done.
C
You're like, hey, let's go to Washington Square park right now.
B
There's a Drum Circle at 3am we could probably.
C
A couple of my friends on Discord were like, you got any? And I was like, do I? So they're waiting for me, chopping up with the.
D
With my guys on Discord.
B
We need a Discord. I mean, BCC is the new Discord, but. But Discord is still great.
D
I. Yeah, we had a. We had a Zoom meeting with our. With our roster yesterday. It was very funny. We had to do, like, Icebreakers. Yeah. Because we never. We had never talked to the guys.
C
Tb.
D
Yeah.
C
How were they as people?
D
Great.
C
What did you ask them?
D
Just about Call of Duty.
C
That's it?
D
Pretty much.
C
You didn't say, hey, what. Tell me about your living situation.
D
They had three of them live in Texas. One of them lives in Atlanta. Maybe.
A
Mm.
C
You didn't want to do, like, a background check? Like, hey, have you ever. These guys are, like, really mad at a person you were dating and smash their head through a brick wall?
D
These guys are. These guys are wanted.
C
Like, they're known veterans of Call of Duty.
D
Yeah.
C
Not wars.
D
Not war.
C
No, not real war.
D
Not real war.
B
But the thing that they don't say about these guys, though, is that, like, they, like, present well in interviews and stuff like that. But it's like. Like they're still on a Call of Duty server, so you know what the they're saying when it's, like, when they're killing someone. Like, they have slurs, like, right behind their tongue.
C
Oh, and they could just.
D
You guys have no idea. This, like, gaming is so, like, lame now. Like, it's. There's AI. Moderated.
B
Jerry is involved with it. You don't think that Jerry has, like, let it go?
D
Never. Jerry would never. But.
C
But how much does Jerry play?
D
Does he.
C
Jerry play as much as you do?
B
No, no, he plays a lot.
C
He does.
B
Yeah.
D
Jerry plays a lot. Like, when the new. He'll play a lot when the new game comes out.
B
He plays with his boy Ravioli.
D
He hasn't been playing as much. He didn't play Black Ops 6 a lot with Ravioli? No, he hasn't brought up Ravioli once.
C
Is that a real person?
D
Yeah, Jerry's got a crew, but also, Jerry's like, Ravioli. Jerry's like, an outgoing guy like Jerry's.
C
The kind of guy very fond of Jerry.
B
He knows every slur.
D
No, maybe.
B
No, he knows him.
D
Yeah, but maybe he knows him. Maybe he's heard him. Yeah, he would never say him.
B
I didn't say he says him.
D
Yeah, you did.
B
I said he knows.
D
He said he lets it loose. Those are his exact. Your exact words.
B
That's different than saying every slur.
D
I'm saying he knows AI moderating.
B
Same way people know religions. Yeah, exactly. So he has nothing to worry about.
D
So you can't even say anything. Mook tries permanently banned from Game Chat.
C
What?
D
Yep.
B
Because of what he said.
C
What is.
D
He told a dude to kill himself.
C
He told who?
D
He told a dude to kill himself.
C
Whoa.
D
Well, not in, like a serious way. Killed the guy and he went, kill yourself. And then he got banned permanently.
C
And then that kid's parents were like. Like, hey, bad news.
D
Yeah, they contacted him via the Activision.
C
Yeah.
B
Through the Kent boarding school admissions office. We were. We were outside camp. Boarding school today. I couldn't believe what boarding school kids look like. Also, there were some in front of us in line that were billionaires because they couldn't stop talking about it.
C
Yeah, billionaires.
D
Billionaires.
C
Truly billionaires.
B
If we had a mind to kidnap.
D
I don't know if I would say kidnap, maybe hold ransom.
B
I'm saying if we had a mind kidnapping. I don't have a mind.
D
More of a strategic way, though.
B
Yeah, it's a general.
D
That's more.
C
I'm thinking, when you hear kidnapping, what's your normal kidnapping?
D
Human trafficking.
C
What is it?
D
Human trafficking.
C
Oh, okay.
D
Is my immediate thought.
C
When I think of kidnapping, I immediately think ransom.
D
Really?
C
That's where my mind, like holding hostage, calling the parents.
D
Deliver $1 million.
A
That's right.
B
The movie Ransom with Mel Gibson. But I think it's more of like a Brazilian thing these days.
C
Oh, okay.
B
I think you wind up in a favela.
C
They got into it.
D
Really?
B
You don't think so? Brazilian kidnapping?
D
I don't know. I mean, I definitely think, yeah, my mind goes to human trafficking all the time. Not all the time. You know, that's not where my mind's always going in that context.
C
What is human trafficking to you?
D
Taking a human and trafficking them to.
C
Another location, Selling them. Yeah, for. Into bondage or something like that.
D
Yes. So anything. Yeah.
B
The top. There is no kidnapping capital of the world, but there's some. Some top dogs. Mexico, Venezuela, Nigeria, Syria, Yemen, Afghanistan, and even Trinidad.
D
Trinidad, really? Does it say that? And even Trinidad.
B
Cities Like Trinidad, believe it or not, referred to as the kidnapping capital. Jesus Christ.
D
Going somewhere?
B
Same brother? No. No, I better not. I'm enjoying myself way too much to have water. Why are you still in your outside jacket?
D
Because it's fucking freezing in here.
B
There's a fire roaring. What are you talking about?
A
Out.
D
Yeah, but, like, that's. It's. We're pretty far away from it.
B
You're in more clothes than you were when you were fishing.
D
No, I'm not in the exact same clothes.
B
Well, it's the same clothes, then, except the waiters. But you haven't stripped down at all.
D
I took my jacket off and then I went outside to get something from the car, and then I never took it back off because I put it back on when I'm out to the car.
B
It was crazy seeing Tom Brady in this neighborhood. I just couldn't believe it. On. I guess a Wednesday is the perfect day to see him in the neighborhood. But it's like. Don't you think he'd be, like, having to go somewhere this week?
C
The goat.
B
The goat. So tomorrow we're gonna do a little bit of water skiing.
D
We're doing. Yeah.
B
Francis has a. He has a jet ski hooked up to a bungee cord in a lap pool that we're gonna water ski behind.
C
Small. Small. Sort of. We're not going far.
D
Yeah, yeah, of course.
C
So lap pool.
D
Yeah.
C
So you gotta hit it and turn it. Quick turn, quick turn, then hit it again. But you gotta slow it down real fast.
B
It's like fly fishing. Yeah.
C
As fast as you. As fast as you hit it, you gotta decelerate immediately.
B
Oh, you have to lean on the left.
C
You get one second of top speed.
D
One of my neighbors when I was growing up had a he there his dad built, like, a zip line. And. And we did it, and I went. I mean, just smashed into the tree, like, and just collapsed to the ground. It was insane. And it was like. I remember, like, looking back on him being like, what was the strategy? Like, there was no. There was never a thought about, like, all right, now how are we going to stop ourselves once we're going 60 miles per hour? And, like, it was just like a hill.
A
Yeah.
D
So it was just like the top of the yard to the bottom. There was never, like, a up to slow down. It was just down.
B
I don't even think the brakes of that kind of thing got invented until, like, after Home Alone came out.
D
Oh, yeah, that's recent technology.
B
People were just ziplining, like, across places for so long.
D
Yeah. Yeah, big time.
A
Wow.
B
How steep was it? How far was. Was like, a drop, like, down.
D
It wasn't like a big drop. It was just on a hill. So it was, like, probably even though.
B
A slight drop on a. On a zip line, though. But you need some kind of apparatus that's going to slow you when you get into the last 15ft.
D
Exactly.
B
It's, like, a little bit fun and cheeky. Now you smoke the wall.
A
Yeah.
D
You didn't want to suck eggs out.
C
You didn't want to bail at all at any point. No.
D
Because you're, like, sitting on a thing, so it's kind of awkward. Oh, you bail.
C
It's not a zip line when it's.
B
Like a little round seat that you sit on.
C
No.
D
Now I can't remember.
C
Well, you were sitting on it.
D
I don't remember if I was. Yeah, I must have been.
C
And everyone was like, dude, don't sit on it. Don't put it up here. What? We're gonna use it again, man. I was next.
B
It was hanging.
C
We're all hanging from the bar, and you're sitting on it.
D
I might have sat on it.
B
I need someone to sit on the other side of this to counterweight out.
A
Out.
D
I might have. I think I might have sat on that.
B
Put your ass on it. Like a coat hanger.
D
But is it. It's still a zip line if it has a seat.
B
I agree with you. I think if it's, like, a round seat and it's, like, hanging down, it's.
C
More like a T bar.
B
Could be more of a T bar, but I've never even thought about a T bar. I've played tetherball, though.
D
Yeah.
B
Have you? I know Francis has.
C
Let me tell you something.
D
Of course Francis has.
B
I had a.
C
The wars. The wars that used to happen between me and TC Havenreffer on the tetherball court. I mean, it would get right to the end, and both of us were so good at that last jump to do the final block.
D
Yeah.
C
As the guy tried to finish it off. And then someone would inevitably call Carrie, and there'd be controversy, of course. But I was very good. I mean, I was. I was a legend.
B
I've. I had a conversation within the last week in our office with about four other people that, like, you probably got recruited for the CIA, but, like, there was a mental fragility point that you. You just weren't. You just didn't pass. I mean, that you were, like, there physically.
C
Oh, yeah.
B
And that, like, there was just, like. Like a couple moments Would have just, like, seized you from the opportunity because you could have been an operative. You could have been in the field.
C
Well, that was the first dream. But it also is possible that they somehow did send me a letter or some means of telling me, yeah, you.
B
Might be in the midst of it.
C
You've been passed through to the next round.
D
But I never got it.
C
I never opened that acorn.
D
Yeah.
C
At the park bench. And missed my calling. It ended up at me.
B
You know, someone gave you a cappuccino with, like, a code word.
C
Yeah.
B
Like the bird flies at midnight.
C
Yeah.
B
You're like.
C
I was like, I'm never coming to this lesbian cappuccino place again. Is that supposed to mean this is unrealistic? Yeah.
B
No, no.
D
Do the. It would be. I would. I think being in the. Being in, like, the CIA or the FBI would be sick. Yeah.
C
Which would you prefer?
D
I'd want to be in the fields, though, for sure.
C
Which would you prefer, FBI or CIA?
D
Probably FBI.
C
Really?
D
CIA.
A
What is.
C
The CIA is foreign. FBI is domestic. That's the only difference. Well, it's not the only difference, but the CIA is meant to only operate about issues that are dealing with, like, foreign issues, foreign policy problems, averting threats to America, or, like, manipulating situations abroad to.
B
To put me in Afghanistan. Yeah, Come on.
C
Be in the interest of the United States. FBI is all, like, threats to America.
D
Yeah, Easy.
C
Or, you know, major conspiracies.
B
That's too much. That's like cyber. That's all. Cyber, actually. That. Maybe that's why you would be good at it.
C
No.
D
You don't think the CIA is cyber.
B
CIA is like, you're. You're putting the crampons on. You're going spelunking. You're in a. You're deep in a cave.
D
No, them. But I think the FBI has that, too.
B
No field agents.
C
CIA is cooler than the FBI. But you could argue that the FBI is, like, more American and noble.
D
I think the FBI is cooler than the CIA.
C
Really?
D
Those jackets, dude, I would spend $300 for one of those RA jackets. I think those things are sick.
C
I think the CIA is cool CIA.
D
Look, I'm not knocking the CIA.
B
It sounds like you have, like, a. A bone to pick.
D
My only thing would be, you can't. If you're. If you're one of those people in the CIA, you can't tell anyone that you're doing that. So you're living a life of.
B
No. CIA has.
D
Flying to China to take care of my flower shop again.
C
I think that People. My guess is that people in the CIA get off to telling people, like, I work in the State Department, don't ask any more questions.
B
They're always at. They're at like.
D
I don't. I think that's what they say.
B
They're like, in Lagos, Nigeria. Yeah, they're just like, oh, boy, another mission out. And you know, they're like pretending to be British.
C
We've. We've definitely romanticized, I think, CIA people in, you know, film and TV and stuff like that. But I do think that in reality.
B
I mean, the whole FBI is like this. This is our crime scene now. You're out of your jurisdiction. That's like FBI.
D
Like, that's because you're talking about shows about local police officers. What are you talking about? The FBI comes to actually solve the.
B
Case and what are you talking about? What like, FBI, like, case? Have you studied their involvement in and been like, this is what it really is? Like. Yeah, exactly. You watch the movie swat, you're like.
D
No, I was actually thinking about that doc, that hulu show about 9 11.
C
The Looming Tower.
D
The Looming Tower, yeah.
B
But that's CIA, bro. That's foreign threats.
C
Yeah.
D
They talk about how the CIA caused 911.
C
Wait, wasn't it FBI though? Mostly?
D
No, that did what?
C
That guy who is played by the lead is. Jeff Bridges. Is. No, Jeff.
B
Jeff Fisher.
C
Daniels.
D
The guy.
B
The big. Nash Bridges.
D
The big guy.
C
The guy who has all, like the multiple families.
D
Yeah, yeah.
C
He's FBI.
D
Yeah. But he was like the good guy. It. To an extent, yeah.
B
So it's fiction.
D
9 11.
B
No, no. If the FBI is the good guy.
D
I don't know. But in that the CIA is definitely the bad guy.
B
It can be.
D
I don't think there was a better or worse. I think it was just they wouldn't communicate with each other.
B
The only thing that'd be hard about CIA is knowing the other language, being in Yemen and having to speak.
D
Well, I think they probably have to know that when they get the. I don't think they get thrown out there and they're like pulling up duolingo or whatever it's called.
C
When I applied. I've told this before, but when I applied. Yeah, yeah.
D
To the CIA.
C
Yeah.
D
I didn't even know you could. I thought you had to like, get selected.
C
Well, I applied.
D
I thought, like, they come to.
C
You never got selected. It's a very long. I remember it being an incredibly long application. I remember being like 36 PDF pages or whatever.
D
I'm sure.
C
But the languages that they specify that they wanted. They were like, do you speak any foreign languages? And then they. I think they put in parentheses the following languages are, you know, preferred or ideal.
B
Don't say it was Arabic.
C
Of course it was Arabic. Of course it was Russian. Yeah, I remember it being Portuguese. And I want to say that it.
D
Was whatever the hell they're speaking in North Korea.
C
No, it wasn't Korean.
D
It might have been Chinese over there.
C
It might have been Chinese, but I don't think it was Chinese.
B
I don't know.
C
No, it was like, what are the Aruba. It might have been Farsi. I think it was Farsi, Arabic, Russian and Portuguese. Any of those four. If you spoke that, that was something they really wanted you to note. And I was like, I speak French like a douche. Got any problems in Paris? Yeah. No. Never. Not once ever in the history of mankind have we wondered what they're up to.
B
All right, Francis Ellis, we're sending you to Saint Tropez. We need you to go to Nice.
C
Your mission is to observe why they don't like Americans.
B
Yeah. That is the dream. They should be. I mean, they never gave us the option to learn Farsi in grade school. They said, uno, dos, tres.
D
See, I think we literally had. Actually, no, we had Spanish, French, sign language, and then, like, Latin.
B
Imagine being the sign language spy.
D
Oh, I know, right? Gotta be quick with your hands.
C
Do you want to talk about our fishing today at all, or. No?
D
Yeah, I mean, I. I don't. Will this be out?
B
This is before. This will be on Tuesday. Fishing will come out on Wednesday.
C
Okay, so preview it. Yeah.
D
It's gonna be a great video. It's gonna be very funny.
C
Very funny.
D
You don't need to like fishing to watch it.
C
Correct. Yeah.
D
You know, at all.
C
Yeah.
B
I don't want to say too much.
C
No, no, no. Watch the video. Yeah.
D
Yeah. Check it out. It's gonna be funny.
C
Yeah.
D
Me, Great video.
B
We're super outside, and it just. I mean, we really made it. We made it happen.
A
We're here.
C
We've done it.
D
Yeah.
C
We're outside my home.
B
And this is. This is like a company like. Like Orvis's chance to, like, kind of come put.
C
There you go. There you go.
B
Come put your flag in it.
D
Definitely. Because this is already interested.
B
Of course. I mean, those are our brothers.
D
Yeah, True.
B
I already look at Fishbone.
C
If you want to be involved more, you know where to talk to.
B
This is going to be bimonthly.
C
My monthly, twice a month or once every other month.
B
Every other week. We're gonna be going up here. I saw how nice it was up here, and I was like, you know what? I think that we should spend more time at Francis's upstate spot. It's not far.
C
It's not far.
B
Hour and a half commute. Clem. His commute to Barstool was like an hour and a half.
C
There you go. We made it up here. And not too much more time than that. That.
B
We didn't even hit the Butcher.
C
No, it didn't.
D
No. We flew.
C
Yeah.
B
Sass poured a Red Bull out the window.
C
Oh, my God. So Harry's sitting in the back and he opens the window on the highway.
B
And I thought he was going to rip a vape. Just like you crack a window, you rip a vape.
C
He opens the window to rip a vape. Yeah. In fact, one time I was driving with him, and he ripped his vape, blew a cloud so thick I couldn't see the windshield. And I opened my window and he goes, now that's going too far. I was so mad, he's like, what are we doing here? Come on now. I was like, dude, I don't want to inhale your.
B
When you watch the lines go across your face like this scent lines from a pie in a cartoon, you know that it's too much vape.
C
It's too much.
D
Yeah.
C
He opened the window and he took his energy drink.
D
It was like this. So I had a sugar free energy drink and I had probably this much left in it.
B
It was not that much.
D
I swear to God. It was this much.
B
He said that it was like a cow peeing that had spd. Yeah, it was like a fire hose. Like. Yeah.
C
It's like when you stick your hand in a sprinkler and why don't you watch it go in many different directions.
B
Or like stick your hand out a window and it's like I went to.
D
Pour it out the window. It really, like, only, like half of it probably came out. And you guys said that it exploded on the person's windshield.
C
Splattered, it sprayed. First of all, the woman behind, she.
D
Had to put her windshield wiper driving her car.
B
She, like, kind of had to jimmy her wheel because she, like, lost control for a second.
C
Yeah, she was driving pretty close. She was tailing me almost, but red SUV, 70. And his drink just evaporated all over her windshield. And I watched her turn on her windshield wipers to wipe his drink off of her windshield.
D
I really, I. I never considered that at all. But I. And I. I still don't think it was as much as you guys are saying, but I, I, I didn't ever think of that.
C
I watched it happen and I watched her go like that.
D
Like the reason behind it was because there was nowhere to put the rest of the drink and it had already spilled.
C
You'd already spilled it in the cup holders and you blame the cup holders for being too small?
D
No, my drink was too small for the couple.
C
Oh, that's what it was.
B
You were blaming the shocks for 15 minutes that the shocks of the Tesla.
C
You really feel every rock and pebble on the way there. He said, watching his energy drink bounce around the gargantuan.
D
You agreed with me. You said, yeah, you feel everything.
C
I said you feel everything. But maybe I'm a guy who wants to, to feel everything. You gotta ever think of that.
D
You like to feel it all.
C
I want to know the road.
B
Of course.
C
Yeah.
B
I just don't know why you wouldn't finish the drink. It's an eight ounce energy drink. Like it was.
D
First of all, it's a 12 ounce energy drink. And second of all, because I didn't eat all 12 ounces.
B
Why would you buy it if you don't want to?
D
Because typically I do.
B
What's going to happen if you have the last two ounces that you're going to be on this car ride that's going to ruin it that you have to like put down a window and start pouring it outside.
D
I'm sensitive to caffeine. That one extra sip. I know my limits. That one extra sip was gonna send me.
C
I got news for you, my old boy.
D
Yeah.
C
Switch to tea.
D
With that.
B
Yeah, no, I have brothers and sisters that are lowering their, their LDL levels.
A
By 90 points by switching to T. Really?
D
From sugar free energy drinks?
B
Yeah, it's like it's the, the basically it's the nature statin. It's the cholesterol buster. Some elderberry, some, some ginger tea.
D
Maybe some ginger tea. Yeah, I gotta give that a try.
B
That'll get you right. Some dandelion tea. That'll get you right. Are you a tea man?
C
I like tea very much, but I, I'll be honest, it's been a long time since I had a cuppa.
B
Oh, I'm gonna kick.
D
I love having a cuppa in like a comedy green room room.
C
That's nice. Yeah, that's not a bad idea.
B
My sister went to Ireland and she would just be like, oh, it's half two, time for a cuppa. And it's like she wouldn't be like, joking. She would just, like, say, it's like an Irish person in the back of a cab. Even like, my permissive, like, dad would be like, what are you talking about? Why are you saying I have to? Like, you don't have to go to Ireland and, like, forget what 2:30 means.
D
No, no, it's half two.
B
Half two is half three. I Copa.
D
I'm gonna start saying that. Have to. And ka is.
B
Oh, I could. I'm keen for a cuppa. Oh, I'm so keen for a copa. All right. All right.
C
Cool.
B
That we feel good. How much time. How much bonus time was that?
D
I think that was more than enough. Right?
B
Right?
D
Yeah.
C
Yeah. All right.
D
All right. Sweet.
C
Thanks, everybody.
D
Thanks, everybody, for listening.
C
This week continues on.
D
Yeah. Keep up. Catch up if you haven't seen anything yet.
F
And.
D
And, yeah, more content throughout the week. Goodbye.
C
Nice sweet.
F
Underground So I looked older to you? Came around? I was only falling one way? I was only falling one way? Chains were drifting for was I so? So thank you. Now I come alive I was only falling day I was only falling one way? I was only falling one way? I was only falling one way that is true, you're right? Did you realize no one can take me alive? I was only falling one way? See it just a distant light Being fast forever right? Call it just a memory Take my hand and you can see Sam. You realize.
Podcast: Son of a Boy Dad
Episode: FISH WEEK: NIGHT #1 - Son of a Boy Dad #351
Date: November 11, 2025
Theme: The first night of "Fish Week," with Lil Sasquatch (Sass), Rone, and their producer/host Francis gathering at Francis's upstate house for camaraderie, fishing, and rambling, irreverent conversation. The episode blends jokes, personal stories, and observations about adulthood, with the undercurrent of Sass's recent departure from college and his quest for identity, purpose, and practical wisdom.
Throughout, there’s a consistent undercurrent of nostalgia, self-deprecation, absurdism, and the sense of “coming-of-age” humor that ties back to Sass’s journey and the shared longing for meaning, belonging, and growth.
FISH WEEK: NIGHT #1 is a quintessential “hangout” episode: the trio (and guests) use Francis’s “masculine” home as launchpad for stories about growing up, self-image, travel, work frustrations, and friendship. Whether riffing on serious topics (crime, aging, government jobs) or absurd jokes (redheaded laborers, baby's ass leather), the crew mixes sincerity with mockery in a conversational tone that will make listeners both laugh out loud and nod in recognition. Even if you’re not a fishing fan, the playful camaraderie and slice-of-life stories make for a compelling listen.