Hantatlantaparis | Son of a Boy Dad #401

Summary

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Son of a Boy Dad #401 "Hantatlantaparis" – Detailed Episode Summary

Release Date: May 14, 2026
Podcast: Son of a Boy Dad
Hosts: Sass (Lil Sasquatch), Francis, Big Cat

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Episode Overview

This episode captures the loose, comedic, and conversational energy at the heart of Son of a Boy Dad. Recently college-dropout Sass leans on his cohosts and friends—Francis and Big Cat—for guidance, banter, and reflections on adulthood, travel, and internet notoriety. The trio jump rapidly between stories, inside jokes, listener relatability, and sharp comedic observations on topics ranging from college rites of passage, Barstool drama, global travel plans, Anthony Bourdain, Korean pop culture, and the realities of adulthood.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Parental Involvement and College Memories

• The group shares stories about their parents’ reactions to their comedy and public personas.
• "My mom was like, as soon as she doesn't like it: this has to go off now." (Sass, 01:24)
• Francis describes Harvard traditions: library sex, peeing on the John Harvard statue, and the "Primal Scream"—a naked lap before finals.
• "It was the grossest people on campus that participated. Of course." (Francis, 07:41)
• Reflections on wealthy parents' influence at Ivy League schools, and how everything eventually receives a donor’s name.

2. Barstool Comedy Writers "Snub" and Standup Careers

• The group jokes about being left off a "best Barstool comedy writers" list and Dave Portnoy’s playful banter on Twitter.
• "I will give up my entire standup career to dedicate all of my time and work to you and to Barstool. And he said, let me think about it." (Francis, 11:13)
• Conversation about their current and upcoming standup dates—balancing live comedy with Barstool personas.

3. Travel Plans: France, Ireland, and Packing Dilemmas

• Francis prepares for trips to Paris, Dublin, and Martha’s Vineyard. Packing for multiple climates and events, especially a cousin’s wedding, leads to a "suit logistics" group brainstorm.
• "I have to carry a suit bag through France, through Ireland, and all the way back..." (Francis, 31:13)
• Sass faces similar travel packing anxieties ahead of a gaming tournament in Atlanta.

4. Cultural Observations & Food Traditions

• Stories of restaurants in Paris, sweetbreads, Bourdain’s favorites, and the rise and backlash to the Bourdain mythos online.
• "I slob on anything that he [Bourdain] does." (Big Cat, 17:35)
• Debates about lamb vs. goat, the weird world of alpacas and vicuñas, and the random animals people keep after moving out of the city.

5. Anthony Bourdain’s Life & Controversies

• Detailed breakdown of Bourdain’s last years, his relationship with Asia Argento, impact of the MeToo movement, Argento’s own controversies, and conspiracy theories about Bourdain’s death.
• "He was so taken with her that he started to kind of give her more and more ownership and creative direction of his career..." (Francis, 19:07)
• The group reflects on how celebrity legacy is warped online, and why Bourdain still resonates.

6. Gaming Life: Tournaments, Streaming, and Burnout

• Sass is headed to his first professional (albeit ill-fated) gaming tournament; reflects on playing/streaming games less often due to career demands.
• "I'm going to be competing in my first tournament professionally...but like, it’ll probably last three minutes." (Sass, 46:43)
• Adderall jokes—a running motif on the cognitive demands (and shortcuts) of esports.

7. Drug Culture: Edibles, High Tolerance, and Bad Decisions

• Wild stories about ultra-high-dose edibles, panic attacks on planes, and how some people (like Clemmer) regularly take massive amounts.
• "He filmed himself again three days later, still impossibly high...'I just want it to end.'" (Francis, 66:11)
• A psychologist’s claim that 1/3 of new airplane phobias are triggered by edibles.

8. Korean Pop Culture & Global ‘Swag Wars’

• The trio praise Korean food, style, cinema (Squid Games, Parasite, Beef S2), and debate Korean v. Chinese cultural influence.
• "The per capita swagginess Korea has that crown." (Big Cat, 43:32)
• Lighthearted trash-talking about China, global economics, and the fear of the yuan overtaking the dollar.

9. Alpaca, Suits, and Absurd Animal Analogies

• Jokes about custom suits and the etiquette of upstaging family at weddings.
• Extended riff on the family of camelids (alpaca, llama, vicuña, guanaco) and how people end up raising them.
• "Goats are like the gypsies of lamb." (Francis, 24:54)

10. Comedy, Orthodoxy, and Group Dynamics

• Banter about mechanical perfection in sports, the Orthodox Jewish community, and inside jokes about Saas’s and Francis’s respective athleticism.
• "You just have, like, an orthodox pool delivery, orthodox darts, orthodox golf swing. It's not like you have any kinks or hitches." (Big Cat, 57:14)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "If a single parent ever wrote [the coach] to complain, he would frame the letter and put it up in the locker room." (Francis, 02:40)
• "You have to love your body [to do a naked run]. If you’re even on the fence, you're degenerate." (Big Cat, 09:36)
• "Sorry...I'm gonna need you to clap." / "I don't want to hurt our fans' ears." (Francis & Sass, 09:52–10:01)
• "Anthony Bourdain just had it all figured out. And it's like, well, he killed himself." (Sass, 17:47)
• "No amount of Adderall in the world could make me win this match." (Sass, 47:41)
• "Let's give your competitors Hantavirus." (Francis, 49:53)
• "I am somebody. I want to take edibles for my upcoming overnight flight. But I've been doing it for a long time." (Francis, 70:08)
• "Apiarist. It's not rapierist?" (Francis, 72:05)
• "I'm not a criminal. It's recreational for me." (Francis on the joke about being a rapierist vs. apiarist, 73:06)
• "He had to wear a splint...He was so drunk one night...and the ring ripped all the skin off–ripped it up the hand." (Francis on Jimmy Fallon, 74:54)

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Important Timestamps

| Timestamp | Topic | |---------------|--------------------------------------------------------| | 01:19 | Parents and comedy, sensitivities to stand-up content | | 05:06 | College rites of passage (Harvard traditions) | | 10:13 | France & Ireland travel plans | | 11:13 | Dave Portnoy's tweet and standup career decisions | | 19:07 | Anthony Bourdain’s life, legacy, and controversies | | 24:54 | Alpaca, sheep, goats, and animal analogies | | 31:13 | Multi-event packing struggles (suit dilemma) | | 43:32 | Korean v. Chinese cultural “swag” | | 46:43 | Sass’s professional gaming tournament | | 66:11 | Overdosing on edibles and travel panic stories | | 72:05 | “Apiarist” mix-up and bee/honey tangent | | 74:54 | Jimmy Fallon’s injury and rumors |

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Episode Flow & Tone

• Language and Tone: The episode maintains Son of a Boy Dad’s signature blend of irreverence, self-deprecation, fast-paced jokes, and off-beat storytelling. Even the most “serious” segments (on Bourdain, mental health, or family traditions) are approached with sideways humor, rapid-fire riffing, and a distinct lack of pretension.

• Group Dynamic: The trio are comfortable oscillating between affectionate roasts and deeper personal admissions. Listeners get a blend of Barstool behind-the-scenes, Gen Z/Millennial anxieties, and inside jokes that balance relatability with the absurd.

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Closing Thoughts

Listeners come away feeling like they’ve eavesdropped on a group of friends spiraling through stories of new adulthood, public scrutiny, and the idiosyncrasies of modern life—always filtered through a lens of quick wit, cultural observation, and the perpetual question: how, exactly, does one become an adult?

Memorable episode for its blend of nostalgia, current events, global flavor, and always-on banter. Even thinner-topic moments become rich fodder for the show’s unique comedic chemistry.

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Transcript

[Big Cat]

Hey. Son of a boy. Dad. Listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.

[PFT Commenter]

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[Francis]

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[Sass]

for longer lasting engines.

[Francis]

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[Sass]

My parents were going to go, but then I was like, I don't think

[Francis]

you didn't want me to meet them.

[Sass]

No, I thought they would like your set for sure. But I was like, I don't think my mom is going to, like Shane said at all. So. And she's like, very like, as soon as she doesn't like it, it's like, this has to go off now. Like, me and my dad watched live in Austin like, like maybe like a year after it came out. And I remember it was like we were like maybe three minutes in when Shane's like, he's like, me and my dad, like, we like to talk about eating pussy and fracking. And my mom was like, jes,

[Big Cat]

Dude,

[Sass]

just immediately turn it off.

[Francis]

I think he'd be fine with me saying this, but you know Brad Dahlke from Good, Good.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

The guy with whom I won the invitational. So he comes from Oklahoma and is from like a nice, sweet Christian family. And he told me when I saw him recently that his mom started watching the Internet Invitational.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And wrote a letter to Dave to Com to complain about all the swearing.

[Sass]

Really? That's hilarious. That's so funny.

[Big Cat]

I feel like that's enough to make. I would take out the swearing If I got a handwritten letter, I feel like I'd be like, yeah, it's not worth it. It doesn't actually. It's kind of lowbrow, dude.

[Francis]

Our clean version, our college lacrosse coach had a, he had this policy, he even put it up on the board at the beginning of the season where if a single parent of a player ever wrote him to complain about their son not getting more playing time, he, he would print the email or the note and frame it and put it up on the wall of the locker room.

[Sass]

Yeah, I think that's fair to be honest. Well, that's got to be.

[Francis]

You can't just ignore it. You got like lunatic parents.

[Big Cat]

It's not always the kids fault who

[Francis]

have like watched their kids come up and have been the stars of wherever they've played and, and you know.

[Sass]

Yeah, that's true. I never thought about that. Everyone on the team's the best from their high school.

[Francis]

You can just ignore the parents at that level.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Well it just causes an incredible amount of friction for the kid.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Because they have to go home and like obviously their parent is hard headed and they have to get in an argument with their parent being like dad, don't fucking do this.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

The implication there is like if your parents annoy me mildly, I will humiliate you in front of the entire team.

[Big Cat]

Right.

[Sass]

Yeah, that's. Yeah, that's. That's true.

[Big Cat]

It's holding you accountable for someone else actions.

[Francis]

It's a little, it's a little extreme side psychologically they do.

[Sass]

They must get an insane amount of emails though from parents.

[Francis]

Well, I don't know, constantly. I mean maybe.

[Big Cat]

But I bet that there's a percentage

[Sass]

number three, get him off the field immediately.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

There's probably some Harvard students, not all of them obviously whose parents emails could do a lot for their kid, you know, across the board throughout their life. Like oh, Tommy like didn't get in the piano recital or he's not in the high school placement or whatever that he wants to be in.

[Sass]

Yeah. Rename the fields then.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Is Harvard out of stuff to name from wealthy parents? Sometimes I worry about that.

[Francis]

No, they're always building new stuff. They'll do a renovation, they'll do whatever. There's new buildings to be built.

[Sass]

A lot of libraries. Yeah, that's the big one, right? The library. You gift a library?

[Francis]

Yeah. I don't know if there are. If there's room for any more libraries.

[Sass]

There's always room for libraries. Just go down.

[Francis]

I actually think. No, but truly The Widener stacks. Yeah, famously. There's some story of, like, if you connected them all row to row, it would travel all the way from fucking Cambridge to, you know, many, many miles away.

[Sass]

Really? That's pretty sick.

[Francis]

And then the. One of the rites of passage at school was that you were supposed to have sex in the Widener stacks.

[Sass]

Really? Did you?

[Francis]

No.

[Sass]

Why?

[Francis]

Because you could convince a woman to accompany me down into the depths of the fucking bunker, deepest library, in the middle of the night for fornication. I could not convince someone to do

[Sass]

that because that probably played a lot more back when people were just always at the library, you know? You live at the library.

[Francis]

Yeah, that too. I think it was just a very spooky request. That's one the woman needs to lead.

[Sass]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Francis]

Come here. You want to go underground and check this off the list?

[Sass]

Cases across the entire world. Line them up perfectly.

[Big Cat]

Or they could build them straight up in the air, maybe. Straight up would be huge, like Ready Player One. Like the scene at the beginning of Ready Player One.

[Sass]

Just get a super long ladder.

[Francis]

There were like four unwritten rites of passage. One was that. The other was to pee on the John Harvard statue, which was kind of funny because all the Asian tourists would always go up and rub his foot as a joke. So it's like, you pee on the foot and you're pissing on Asians.

[Big Cat]

That's the joke.

[Francis]

I don't know if that was the joke to them, but that was the joke how I understood it. Yeah, yeah, another one.

[Sass]

Did you piss on it?

[Francis]

No, I never did. I had too much respect.

[Sass]

Nah, you pissed on it.

[Francis]

No, I definitely did not.

[Sass]

You might not remember it, but you definitely did.

[Francis]

I certainly hammered. I did get hammered, but I didn't do it. Okay, then the other one. What? There was another one, which was to run in what we called Primal Scream, I think was what it was called, which was where in. In the winter reading period in, like, I must. It must have been December, right before exams when everyone was studying their asses off some night right before the exams, all the. A lot of students would do a naked lap around Harvard Yard.

[Sass]

That one I don't think I would be into.

[Francis]

Well, what was the problem was, was that all these fucking bums from Cambridge would come into Harvard yard with cameras.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And get their material for the year.

[Sass]

Yeah, yeah. That's not good.

[Francis]

And it's like, oh, you want to jerk off to some bookish lesbian from.

[Sass]

I love jerking off to a. To a lady who's mid stride.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, One titty up here, one titty down here.

[Sass]

Yeah. Mid sprint.

[Big Cat]

Ah, real monsters.

[Sass]

Just a full. Just.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, that's not the best.

[Francis]

It was the grossest people on campus that participated. Of course.

[Big Cat]

Phil used to do a naked bike ride.

[Sass]

Don't they still do it?

[Big Cat]

I'm sure they still do it. And then they would. There would be photographers, but they would like, I guess just like finally blur it out. But it was like when I was like 15 years old. So I was like clicking through like a one by one slowly loading montage. And it would like load from left to right. Nothing.

[Sass]

Nothing. Yeah, Gardini has a bit about the.

[Big Cat]

About the naked bike ride in Virginia. We went to Virginia one year when they won the national championship and they have this long. Have you ever been to Virginia's campus?

[Francis]

No. I heard it's amazing.

[Big Cat]

It's amazing. Yeah, they have this long green on the campus that's lined by these like little huts that I think are like. They were like Civil war adjacent and they still look like that. And I think that's where the seniors live.

[Sass]

And that's where they were burning the tiki torches probably.

[Francis]

No, not on UVA campus, but Charlotte,

[Big Cat]

it was Charlottesville and that's where the UVA is, Charlottesville.

[Sass]

Oh, yeah, yeah. That's where they were burning the tiki torches.

[Big Cat]

Were they actually on campus? It's that like green on the campus, but like lining either side is like these like cool, just one off little wood burning huts. And I think that there's at some point during the year a naked run and they won the championship. And it was. It was asses. It was asses and penises. Penises flopping penises of all sizes.

[Sass]

Love that.

[Francis]

I have a hard time jogging with an erection, so I don't think that.

[Sass]

I don't think I've ever attempted that.

[Big Cat]

There were guys who were just like starting their jog would get hard and lose complete blood flow. So they would get like fall over that, like they got it hit with a tranquilizer. They fully pass out and fucking eat one.

[Sass]

Yeah, I can't think of anything I would rather do less. Like the amount of like drugs and alcohol that would have to be in my system. To jog fully naked.

[Big Cat]

You have to love your body.

[Sass]

Love.

[Big Cat]

You have to like, love. You have to just be ass naked in the mirror. You have to love it so much. Like if you're even on the fence, you're degenerate.

[Francis]

Would you mind introducing what the day and.

[Sass]

Oh yes, of course it is. It's Tuesday, May 12th.

[Francis]

Sorry, I'm gonna need you to clap.

[Sass]

We already. Well, you can't clap now. The pod's already begun.

[Francis]

Why can't we clap?

[Sass]

Because I don't want to hurt. I don't want to hurt our fans ears.

[Francis]

Oh, fine.

[Sass]

They're expecting the clap in the beginning. If you give it to them in the middle, they're like, what?

[Francis]

You're probably right.

[Sass]

Not the. I guess we're not in the middle. We're like five minutes in.

[Big Cat]

But anyway. You're going to France.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

For that.

[Sass]

France and Ireland.

[Francis]

Let's just really quickly just touch on Dave's response to the fact that Harry, the three of us were excluded from the best comedy writers at barstool thing.

[Sass]

Well, I don't know if that's. If it was exactly that.

[Big Cat]

What happened?

[Francis]

Well, he overlooked us.

[Big Cat]

What happened?

[Francis]

And then he responded with a tweet. Why don't you tell about the tweet?

[Sass]

I just said something about us saying that he would have chose us and that then he made a joke about me and you being on tour.

[Francis]

Yeah, he said it. He said he would have included.

[Sass]

I'm gonna reply and say, yeah, that's mostly just Francis these days.

[Francis]

Why would you do that?

[Sass]

I'm not.

[Big Cat]

Why would you ever do that?

[Sass]

I'm not gonna.

[Big Cat]

Why would you even put that?

[Sass]

I've never. I've never replied to a Dave tweet ever.

[Francis]

Dave wrote, I would include all three of these guys. I just went off top of my head and was thinking, chicago office parentheses. That's if I can pull Francis and Sass off tour.

[Big Cat]

Wow.

[Sass]

Wow.

[Francis]

I just want to note for the record here, since I don't have Twitter to defend myself. It was August of 2025 when I told Dave personally face to face at the Ryder cup when we were sharing a house. I will give up my entire standup career to dedicate all of my time and work to you and to barstool. And he said, let me think about it.

[Big Cat]

He said, no, no, no. I like making fun of you for it.

[Sass]

It seems like you made up his mind.

[Big Cat]

No, no, no.

[Sass]

You're still touring.

[Francis]

Well, I'm waiting to hear.

[Big Cat]

So I'd rather make jokes long term about it.

[Francis]

It's hard for me to. To let that stand. When I prostrated myself before him and said, use me.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And he's like, I'll get back to you.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. He said, tyler, can you look up prostrate for us? Just for the. The average listener, of course. I know what it means lying stretched out on the ground with one's face downward, often in submission. What's that?

[Francis]

Second adoration or helplessness?

[Big Cat]

Adoration. Oh, see, I thought it was. Oh, you were prostrating.

[Francis]

I. If the word means exactly what I meant it to mean, I used it perfectly.

[Big Cat]

Oh, I'm not. I wasn't.

[Francis]

No, I know.

[Big Cat]

Doubting that.

[Francis]

I'm just pleased with myself.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, that's. That was a great.

[Francis]

It wasn't even close to being.

[Big Cat]

And a lot of the responses on Google think that you just misspelled prostate.

[Sass]

Oh, yeah.

[Big Cat]

That you're prostating. There was a lot of them. Split diagrams of the prostate.

[Sass]

Yeah. Almost strictly prostate.

[Francis]

The prostrate of Hormuz. Currently Iran has closed it and it's causing major issues. There's a blockage for the devout Muslims that lie in that position.

[Big Cat]

There's a cancer in the prostrate of Hormuz.

[Francis]

Yeah. Anyway. No, that's funny.

[Big Cat]

Did that hurt your guys? Did that hurt your guys? Like, want to do standup? No. Right.

[Sass]

No, I just thought dream. I didn't see it. And then Ken Jack showed it to me and I laughed and that was it. I went, ha.

[Francis]

Oh, Dave back in his tricks.

[Sass]

And I carried on.

[Big Cat]

Well, doesn't Dave know that your fucking tour's over?

[Sass]

The tour is over.

[Big Cat]

Hey, put it. Put the word out. Francis's tour is over.

[Francis]

Yeah, but there are more dates in the fall. We're gonna pick it back up.

[Big Cat]

He does not have to know that.

[Sass]

He doesn't have to know about that.

[Big Cat]

Well, cut the.

[Sass]

Just hide him from your Instagram stories.

[Francis]

Depending on. Put everyone on close forensics. Depending on what Dave decides. I may or may not be incorrect. Cleveland, Tampa and a number of other cities this fall.

[Sass]

You already have those locked down?

[Francis]

Yeah, bro, what the fuck? I have a whole fucking.

[Sass]

That's crazy.

[Francis]

I got Atlanta, Buffalo.

[Sass]

I don't think I have plans to do standup comedy again.

[Francis]

And I think I have a big New York City homecoming show in December, but we're not going to announce that quite yet anyway.

[Sass]

No, I'm actually. I am getting dates for June and July.

[Big Cat]

In the summer, the homecoming show, we're also going to be hosting a massive, like, we're a 2,000 ticket open bar after the fact.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah, but you can't have the open bar unless you come to the show and buy a ticket.

[Big Cat]

Right, of course. So we're gonna do it at the library and it's going to be an absolute fest in the stacks.

[Francis]

Yeah. Down below.

[Big Cat]

We're gonna have a soiree at the stacks like Eyes Wide Shut. Everyone will wear little masks like the opera.

[Sass]

I love that. Right in the library.

[Big Cat]

Did you go on a shopping spree at Nike sb?

[Sass]

I did, yeah.

[Big Cat]

The fact that you wore two different Nike SB sweatshirts back to back.

[Sass]

I bought two of them, yeah. Standard.

[Big Cat]

You. You empty the clip in two days. Honestly, I would have held on to the first one for a couple.

[Sass]

Why? I'm just going to wear these every day for the next couple weeks.

[Francis]

Do you have a favorite Nike SB skater?

[Sass]

No, I don't.

[Francis]

Your Nigel guy.

[Sass]

I mean, yeah, of course. Everyone loves Naja.

[Francis]

Everyone loves.

[Sass]

Yeah. How do you not?

[Big Cat]

It's like in Barry Bonds.

[Sass]

I don't know if I think. I don't know if I know any other Nike Nike reps. Who's the one

[Francis]

that has the great sneaker that he did?

[Sass]

Janowski's maybe, Right?

[Francis]

Yeah, that's who it is.

[Big Cat]

The fucking Janowsk.

[Sass]

I used to have Janowski's back in my prime. I can't rock them anymore.

[Big Cat]

Omar Salazar. That fucking.

[Francis]

Yeah, The Genoese. Eric Coston. We love Eric Coston.

[Sass]

The legendary Lance Mountain.

[Francis]

Sounds like one of my favorite male porn stars.

[Sass]

I finished. Speaking of Mountain, I finished the Dark Wizard. Did you guys finish it yet?

[Francis]

Haven't started it yet, but I will, don't worry.

[Big Cat]

What? Is that text a lie?

[Sass]

I mean, you said I watched the first episode. Or was that not you? That was someone else. My bad. I got my friend groups mixed up for a second.

[Big Cat]

Damn.

[Sass]

That was Beau that said that. Sorry, I'm not. We have to bleep that out.

[Big Cat]

That's nice for you that he's confusing you with Bo.

[Francis]

Though I'm surprised he considered me part of any friend group. Well, you know, getting my friend groups mixed up, that's the biggest endorsement he's ever made of me being an actual friend.

[Big Cat]

He feels really bad about the Dave tweet. He's trying to let you down easy after that nasty Dave tweet.

[Sass]

I feel bad about the Dave.

[Francis]

I actually think he feels bad about not helping me vet that joke before the.

[Big Cat]

Or that his family didn't show up

[Francis]

because they would have liked me specifically.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, just show up. You should have just told him it was a 15 minute show. Like they shouldn't have known. Like when people leave Broadway shows at halftime, at intermission, just say that Francis has a set in front of 20,000

[Sass]

and everyone's going home. Right?

[Big Cat]

And then we'll just. I'll pick you up right after Leave. Leave. During his last joke to beat the crowd.

[Sass]

It's not a bad idea.

[Big Cat]

That would have been nice. That would have been real nice. But I'm. I'm deeply jealous that you're going to France. Yeah, me too. I went to my favorite restaurant that I went to the last time I was there was called Robert at Louise. And then I saw a Bourdain list and it's, it's his favorite restaurant too. And I didn't even know. And I, I'm such a Bourdain. I just, I slob on anything that he does.

[Francis]

This is cool.

[Big Cat]

There's an undercurrent of people that hate Bourdain now on Internet.

[Francis]

What.

[Big Cat]

Have you seen this? Have you heard about this? Are you aware of this? There are people who rail against Bourdain to the tunes of thousands of likes.

[Sass]

And I feel like I see people, some people kind of like inflate Bourdain in their head of like what he was and what he did. And then some people kind of like talk like on that, because they'll be like, Anthony Bourdain just had it all figured out. And it's like, well, he killed himself.

[Big Cat]

Like, you know, people say nasty stuff about his 50 year old girlfriend.

[Sass]

Yeah, yeah. Like, I think just people are like, like, I'm, I like Anthony Bourdain. I'm an Anthony Bourdain fan.

[Big Cat]

I'm an absolute Anthony Bourdain head.

[Francis]

I gotta be honest with you, the only Anthony Bourdain content I've ever really digested was the documentary about him.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, you have to. You haven't read Kitchen Confidential?

[Francis]

I haven't read Kitchen Confidential, nor have I ever watched a single episode.

[Big Cat]

What?

[Francis]

Oh, the show's great.

[Big Cat]

One Halloween, I put a bowl of Kitchen Confidentials outside of my apartment and let people grab Kitchen Confidentials instead of candy.

[Francis]

How many copies did you get?

[Big Cat]

I had a lot of copies of Kitchen Confidential and they went fast.

[Sass]

Really?

[Big Cat]

I can't believe you didn't stop by that year, Francis.

[Francis]

I should have, honestly.

[Big Cat]

You would. It's. It's the best kitchen book of all time. It's like the best New York cooking romp. It's fantastic.

[Francis]

Well, that's what launched him. Yeah.

[Sass]

Why? What happened with his girlfriend? What was that all about?

[Francis]

Okay, I can tell you.

[Sass]

Okay.

[Francis]

What was her name? The one, the last one he had.

[Sass]

Because that's what people say. That's why he killed himself.

[Francis]

Asia Argento. Right. So she was one of the leading, leading kind of spokespeople of the MeToo movement.

[Sass]

Got it.

[Francis]

She was one of the people who broke everything open about Harvey Weinstein, I'm pretty sure. And specifically, she did that at the Cannes Film Festival where she went up as a presenter or something and just spoke out about naming people and all this. And it caused quite a stir. And that was sort of the beginning of it. And he was so taken with her that he started to kind of give her. This is the theory that he gave her more and more ownership and creative direction of his career to the point that she started directing episodes of his show. And she kind of, like, didn't know what she was doing, and the rest of his crew hated it. And it started to cause all this friction, but he was choosing her. And then he found out that she was having an affair with another guy.

[Sass]

Was the guy, like, young? Wasn't there something with, like, she didn't she do something?

[Big Cat]

It was Johnny Sins, okay. And she was getting her back blown out. He's my favorite fucking. Tread lightly, okay?

[Sass]

I thought there was something where, like, she. She did something bad that. Like.

[Big Cat]

Oh. Oh, like something very bad. Sexual assault allegations and payment or no, but that's her alleging. Oh, she accepted. Sexually assaulted a actor when he was 17. So that's what it was. That's what I.

[Sass]

That's what I was thinking of. Oh, I heard that's why he killed himself. Because it was like, coming out that she did that.

[Big Cat]

I don't know.

[Sass]

I mean, who knows? Who knows? I don't. We don't have to, you know, come up with our own theories.

[Big Cat]

It's sad because he had a daughter, but it's also like, there is part of me that's like, what if he just, like, did everything?

[Sass]

Yeah, he might have just completed it.

[Big Cat]

Might. He might just done every side task and just, like, been to every corner of the earth and done everything. But I enjoyed his book and I enjoy. No reservations.

[Francis]

Go up a little.

[Sass]

Let me read that part.

[Francis]

Hold on. Connection to Anthony.

[Big Cat]

Read this out loud.

[Francis]

Shortly before Bourdain died by suicide in June 2018, photos were published of Argento with French reporter Hugo Clement. Reports later surfaced of tense texts between them regarding the incident, with Bourdain noting he did not own her, but felt carelessness within her heart. With her heart, with his heart. Jesus Christ. So, yeah, so he blamed her open. Openly cheating on him with this guy for. I mean, that. That's what people kind of consider.

[Big Cat]

French reporter Hugo Clement is definitely. That's even worse than Johnny Sins. He probably a way Worse. Debonair.

[Francis]

At least Johnny Sins is circumcised.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, he probably saw her at Robert at Louise with Hugo le Mont Claymont. And I was like, mother, this is my favorite fucking spot.

[Francis]

And he died before he could take it. List of favorites.

[Big Cat]

So it still haunts him to this day that people are going to Robert, Louise and his name. Anyway, you gotta go.

[Francis]

Yeah, I'll go.

[Sass]

Yeah, you have to.

[Francis]

I'll go. Push my arm.

[Sass]

Maybe you can ask a little bit when you get out there. Just treat this a little bit. Treat this kind of like it's like an investigative, you know, weekend for you.

[Francis]

I will.

[Sass]

Like you want to get down to the bottom. What happened to Anthony Bourdain?

[Francis]

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[Sass]

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[Big Cat]

boydad I also went to a place called Parcels. I had some. What's it. What's it called? The something neck. Something something neck.

[Francis]

Oh, sweet meat. Sweet bread.

[Big Cat]

Sweet bread. And it's the neck of a what?

[Francis]

It's the neck of a goat.

[Big Cat]

It was delicious.

[Sass]

Sounds really good.

[Francis]

Sweet. Look up sweet breads.

[Big Cat]

And it's so good that it's just on the verge of. If you take a bite of it, you gag. But it's like, but it's delicious.

[Sass]

But it's really good.

[Francis]

Oh, it's veal.

[Big Cat]

It's the neck of a veal. So soft.

[Francis]

I thought it was a goat.

[Sass]

That looks delicious.

[Francis]

Oh, wait. If referring to lamb. Okay, it can be lamb. I get lamb and goat mixed up too. What is the difference between a lamb and a goat? Goats are like the.

[Sass]

What? They're different animals.

[Francis]

Goats are like the gypsies of lamb.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. They can't be trusted.

[Sass]

They're completely different animals.

[Francis]

They're like the rock climbers.

[Big Cat]

They're the illegal immigrants.

[Francis]

They live the side of the road. They're like, I don't want to be tied down.

[Sass]

It's true.

[Francis]

Lamb every night need to have a roof over their head. Yeah, they get eaten by coyotes and foxes. But. But, but no. Sheep get eaten by coyotes. Lamb kill coyotes. Really? I don't know.

[Sass]

Hey, I'm going to go with. No, you don't.

[Big Cat]

Lamb, sheep and mutton. We might as well just read it. What the fuck is a hogget?

[Sass]

Sheep with two permanent teeth.

[Francis]

A lamb is a young sheep.

[Sass]

That sounds like an alpaca.

[Francis]

Now, look, I don't want.

[Big Cat]

There's going to be a class of people that are furious with us.

[Francis]

I'm not trying to introduce most of the listeners. The alpacas are the illegal immigrants.

[Big Cat]

Oh, really?

[Sass]

They spit on you?

[Francis]

That's right. For asking for their papers.

[Sass]

Yeah. We had, like. There was like, a family in our town growing up that had alpacas. Just drive by every day, see alpacas.

[Francis]

I see that sometimes. And I think to myself, how'd that begin?

[Sass]

I don't know.

[Francis]

What are you doing?

[Sass]

Something bad happened.

[Francis]

What do you. What do you need? Alpacas?

[Sass]

Someone got laid off and they were like, I think we should get some alpacas. You know, get the energy up around here.

[Big Cat]

Or like, they moved out of the city and the dad didn't want to, and he's like, whoa, I'm getting alpacas. And, like, we have land. I'm going to put alpacas on.

[Francis]

You wanted more room. Okay, well, I'm getting my alpacas and I'm getting one vicuna and a Hoggett. One vicuna, three alpacas, no llamas. Yeah.

[Sass]

It's got to be some sort of crisis.

[Francis]

There are four of those. What are they called? There's alpaca, vicuna, llama, and then there's one more sheep. Do you know what the last one is?

[Sass]

No. Ass.

[Francis]

There's one more in the family. Tyler, can you look up the family of alpacas? Guanaco. I got it before you found it. I know it. It's Guanaco. Guanaco. Yeah, yeah, yeah, It's Guanaco. I figured it out. Fuck.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Francis]

We don't know what these. What this family is. I don't know what they are.

[Big Cat]

Absolute freaks. It's like the byproduct of a sheep fucking a giraffe. It's disgusting.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Sass]

Alpacas or guankos.

[Big Cat]

Guankos. They shouldn't exist. Honestly. They have to be the dumbest looking animals.

[Francis]

People don't know this, but actually, you know how ICE rounds up these illegals? Yeah. For the ones that they can't get the information out of that they're asking for. They send them to the secret island of Guanaco.

[Sass]

Really?

[Francis]

Where they torture them.

[Sass]

Easter Island.

[Francis]

It's the Latin version of Guantanamo. Oh, yes.

[Sass]

It's just a shit ton of llamas.

[Francis]

Guanaco, alpaca, alco.

[Big Cat]

Alcatraz.

[Francis]

Guantanamo. Guantanaco.

[Big Cat]

Guantanaco. Well, so what the fuck are you even doing in France?

[Sass]

Yeah. Wait, so are you going to France today?

[Francis]

No, end of the week.

[Sass]

Oh, okay.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

What the fuck are you even doing in France?

[Francis]

Well, I'm going to Ireland with Foreplay, and you've got Surviving, so we weren't able to record. And you're away.

[Sass]

I'm away this week. Oh, we're not recording next week?

[Francis]

No. She's got Surviving.

[Sass]

That's huge. That's crazy. I didn't know that everybody go to France. Well, I know I get back from it. I'm gonna be in Atlanta for a week now. I wanted to come in when I get back.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Francis]

When are you coming back from Atlanta?

[Sass]

Sunday or Monday, depending on how we win. If we win.

[Francis]

Sick.

[Big Cat]

I want to know what your plan is in France. I'm trying to live vicariously through your travels. What are you going to do day by day?

[Francis]

I'm going to shop.

[Sass]

So you're just hitting Perry?

[Big Cat]

Are you in the first orange Diesemont?

[Francis]

I think I am in the first horse.

[Sass]

Are you only hitting Perry or are you going anywhere else?

[Francis]

No, just Paris and then I'll go to Dublin for the day while I wait for the guys to arrive.

[Big Cat]

Oh, nice over there.

[Sass]

I've heard Dublin's pretty, like, walkable.

[Francis]

Is that so?

[Sass]

Yeah, it is cool. It's pretty small.

[Francis]

I don't really have much experience in Dublin.

[Sass]

I think you can just like, walk across the whole city.

[Francis]

I'm excited to Go.

[Sass]

I could be wrong about that.

[Francis]

I'm concerned about my packing.

[Sass]

Oh, I'm. I'm in the same boat. I'm in the same boat right now.

[Francis]

I'm.

[Sass]

I packed all my shit last night. I don't know. I'm definitely forgetting a lot of things.

[Francis]

My concern, you. You have one gaming tournament to attend.

[Sass]

I'm going to be gone for almost a week.

[Francis]

I get it. But my concern about my packing is that I have different climates. Climates. Three different climates that I have to pack for.

[Sass]

Me too.

[Francis]

And lots of different things I do inside the lobby, inside the.

[Big Cat]

Inside the venue.

[Sass]

It's going to be 30 degrees colder than it is outside for some reason. Season. So you got to prepare for that. And then you got that Atlanta air. It's always changing. You know what they say about the weather in Atlanta. If you don't like it, just wait. I think they say that about everywhere on the planet.

[Big Cat]

Or they also say there's two seasons construction and everything else everywhere on the planet. They say that.

[Sass]

63 in Atlanta.

[Francis]

The word, the worst winter I ever had was summer in Atlanta. That's what they say.

[Sass]

Oh, yeah.

[Francis]

That's what they famously say.

[Big Cat]

Look at that. 84 down to fucking devastating. 59 is the low. I mean, that's.

[Sass]

That's a 30 degree change right there. Yeah, just about.

[Big Cat]

Just a damn bout.

[Sass]

So, Francis.

[Big Cat]

So you got it way harder than Francis.

[Sass]

What are you going to do in France?

[Francis]

Well, just to finish the packing, thought I gotta go Paris. Then I'm going Dublin and all around Ireland. And then I have to fly back to Boston to then jump to Martha's Vineyard for my cousin's wedding.

[Sass]

Jesus Christ.

[Francis]

So I have to carry a suit bag through France, through Ireland, and all the way back to.

[Sass]

All right, let's think of some solutions here. So do you know anyone in New York going to the wedding?

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[Francis]

The family.

[Sass]

Yeah, no, that's not going to work. Hey, could you guys bring my tux?

[Big Cat]

Give the bride your tux.

[Francis]

That's who I know. That's who I know. But honestly, dude, I love what you just said.

[Sass]

I think that.

[Francis]

I think incredibly out of character. Productive question from you.

[Sass]

That's not out of character.

[Francis]

Let's think of some solutions. Do you know anyone from New York going to the wedding? In my life, I would not have thought that you would ever say something like that.

[Sass]

You know, who wants to carry a tux around all of Europe for a week?

[Francis]

You're helping me solve a problem.

[Sass]

Well, we're a little thin on topics right now. You haven't noticed.

[Francis]

We actually.

[Big Cat]

What are you doing?

[Francis]

We're not. You're just. You're just worried. We will be, but I'm not. I think we're fine. We're flowing. Yeah. So moving and grooving.

[Sass]

We're gonna figure this out.

[Francis]

My dad. Okay, my dad is going, but he's going from D.C. but your sister lives close to D.C. that's where he is.

[Sass]

Just trying to figure out if there's a way we could get the tux to your sister to get to my dad.

[Big Cat]

Is anybody going to dc? Well, Atlanta's on the way to dc.

[Sass]

I'm not going to be in dc.

[Big Cat]

What if you drove down, drove to

[Sass]

DC and flew out?

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Sass]

Fly out of place or whatever it's called.

[Big Cat]

Fly out of Doles.

[Francis]

All right, well, let's put it this way. If there's anyone listening to this podcast who will be going to Martha's Vineyard the weekend of, like, May 30, 31st, from New York City, who could pick up my suit today and only today?

[Sass]

Well, they're not gonna hear it.

[Francis]

Why not?

[Sass]

Because this comes out in two days.

[Francis]

That's the day. Oh, they would bring it in that weekend.

[Sass]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think that's the move.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Sass]

Do you. Are you dead set on bringing your own suit? Or would you be like. Would you just be willing to, like, do.

[Big Cat]

Would you borrow a suit from a Goodwill or something?

[Sass]

Like borrow or rent?

[Francis]

I'd rather that my plane crash than.

[Sass]

That's crazy. Borrow a suit is a crazy thing to borrow.

[Francis]

Freshman being invited to prom by a senior. Is that what you think this is? Borrow?

[Sass]

Say borrow?

[Big Cat]

Is there like a funeral?

[Francis]

Like a last minute, some inner city kid who might get drafted tonight? Is that the thought here?

[Sass]

Well, I Was thinking tux, but I guess it's a suit.

[Francis]

I think it's suit. Here's another option.

[Big Cat]

Okay.

[Francis]

I get a custom tailored suit in

[Sass]

Paris, but then you're still gonna run into the issue of you're the only thing that you're cutting out is having to fly to Paris.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, but he gets the experience of buying a French suit, I get a customer.

[Sass]

Don't you think that's a little flashy for not your own wedding? Like showing up in a. If you show up in a French custom suit, people are gonna be like, whoa.

[Big Cat]

But you won't, like, they'll be like wearing white.

[Francis]

No. Yeah, they'll be like. That's exactly what I expected, Francis to wear them white.

[Big Cat]

What kind of suit are you thinking? Are you thinking most people actually or

[Francis]

like most people can't tell that a custom suit is custom made, custom tailored? Yeah, most to the eye. Only true haberdashers can tell.

[Big Cat]

Or if you have like a very unorthodox pattern on the suit, which would be asshole Ish to wear.

[Sass]

Yeah. You know, you can get patterns.

[Francis]

My buddies all went to China after college and they said that there's this place in China where you can get custom suits made for the same price that you'd pay for like a off the rack J. Crew suit here in America.

[Sass]

Oh, yeah. I'm not surprised. So look, nothing wrong with those off the rack Chase J.

[Francis]

Crew suits. Not. Not at all. That's all I own. For what it's worth, I don't own a custom suit.

[Sass]

Oh either.

[Francis]

All my suits are from like suit

[Big Cat]

supply and I think I got four custom suits.

[Sass]

Yeah, that's not surprising.

[Big Cat]

I used to get custom suits for. Made for Most Dangerous game show.

[Sass]

Yeah, yeah. You have like the. You have like the Herb Brooks suits.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. And now that show's not on anymore, so.

[Sass]

Well, it'll come back.

[Big Cat]

I'm saying the budget. The budget was misappropriated.

[Sass]

Oh, yeah?

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Francis]

For what, the helicopters? Was that really why it died?

[Big Cat]

No, it was the suits.

[Sass]

The suits killed the show.

[Big Cat]

It was the custom suits.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Sass]

You had custom suits for a lot of things. You were. You were rocking the custom suit. You used to wear suit in every video. Pretty much.

[Big Cat]

I did. I wore suits in some videos that I made. If I was doing like a investigative

[Sass]

report, like when we did the video in Minnesota with the Vikings fans, you were wearing a suit because that's where I got that photo. And I made that thing of like. I made that.

[Big Cat]

Were we rolling weed or something?

[Sass]

No, no, that Was for the lettuce club.

[Big Cat]

But I was wearing a suit for that.

[Sass]

Yeah, you were. I think it was the same suit.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, maybe. Oh yeah. Because that's a wintry suit.

[Sass]

That is a good winter suit.

[Big Cat]

You got to get a custom suit then. Francis, I can't be having more custom suits than you.

[Francis]

It doesn't feel like I have an option anymore.

[Big Cat]

You have to get the custom.

[Francis]

But I could do it in Dublin. Which would take out the flight from Paris to Dublin.

[Big Cat]

No, actually Dublin you could get. They have great wool over there.

[Francis]

Yeah. And Martha's Vineyard could be sea breezy.

[Sass]

It could be a little chilly.

[Francis]

Right on the cusp of May. June.

[Sass]

Yeah, some. Some lined.

[Francis]

There's a summer wool suit. You can get a summer wool suit. A light wool suit, I think. What about an alpaca suit?

[Big Cat]

Oh, now you're talking.

[Francis]

Now we're talking. Do they make suits or do they only make the scratchiest sweaters of all?

[Sass]

Yeah, yeah.

[Big Cat]

The thickest socks that your mom ever got you.

[Sass]

I would honestly.

[Big Cat]

Which are great. Honestly.

[Francis]

They say that if you wear an alpaca sweater onto an alpaca farm, the alpaca actually will try to fuck you.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. They don't spit on you. They spit on it.

[Francis]

They spit. They get ready by spitting.

[Big Cat]

They spit in their fucking hoof first to get you going.

[Francis]

What's the so much spit? They spit like a gallon of spit. You wouldn't have to have them re spit later on.

[Sass]

This is disgusting.

[Big Cat]

Honestly, I don't know if you know sass.

[Francis]

We're a little thin on right now.

[Big Cat]

We're talking about alpacas getting by.

[Francis]

Alpaca expectorating.

[Big Cat]

Give a alpaca a Lucy.

[Sass]

I gotta get a good suit for. I wish I brought. Now that I'm thinking about it, I wish I brought a suit to Atlanta because like for championship Sunday if we make it. That would have been.

[Big Cat]

If you guys are all in suits. Maybe you need to get a custom suit down there down in Atlanta. But like a. Like a TD Jake suit. You need to get like a suit that a brother would wear to like a stadium mask.

[Sass]

Yeah. Kings of Comedy suit.

[Big Cat]

The Kings of. Yeah. The Stacy Adam suit. Bag as hell. A bright orange suit.

[Sass]

Purple.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, purple.

[Sass]

Like imagine me and that.

[Big Cat]

Something that's wide. Stacy Adams.

[Francis]

I don't know who this is.

[Big Cat]

TD Jake is I think a. A televangelist.

[Francis]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

In the realm of a creflo dollar type type of deal.

[Sass]

Yeah. I would definitely need to get one of those.

[Big Cat]

American pastor.

[Francis]

Is he one of the really, really successful ones.

[Big Cat]

He is super successful.

[Francis]

That's cool.

[Big Cat]

And he's an absolute black king.

[Sass]

Did you guys ever watch what's it called?

[Francis]

What's the show?

[Big Cat]

Joel Osteen.

[Sass]

No, the Danny McBride.

[Francis]

Oh, he's pounded down. No mortal.

[Sass]

You guys ever watch that?

[Francis]

I watched a little bit of it.

[Sass]

So funny.

[Francis]

It's really good.

[Sass]

Yeah, it's really funny.

[Francis]

Yeah, it's really good.

[Big Cat]

For whatever reason I did, it never grasped me.

[Sass]

Did you ever try watching it?

[Big Cat]

I think I watched a little bit of the first season, but I think it was when it was coming out week by week.

[Sass]

You should go give it a re watch. It's just funny.

[Francis]

You know what I watched that I thought was excellent was Beef Season two.

[Sass]

Oh, yeah, I watched that too. It was good.

[Francis]

I thought it was really good. I don't know why more people weren't talking about Put me on what's be.

[Sass]

People have been raving about it. You're just not online.

[Francis]

That's fine. I don't take that as an insult. No, I know.

[Big Cat]

It's not an insult at all. That is funny. To just be like, yeah, I haven't heard anything about this.

[Francis]

I haven't heard anything about anything. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

To be honest with you, it wasn't in the New York magazine.

[Francis]

Yeah, no. Beef season one was about.

[Sass]

I never saw season one.

[Francis]

Ali Wong and this other guy who have this, like, ongoing feud.

[Big Cat]

Oh, yes.

[Francis]

And that was really good.

[Big Cat]

Asian. The Asian guy. Oh, that's Korean.

[Sass]

That's season one. I did. I watched, like, the first, like, three episodes of that.

[Francis]

That was really good, too.

[Sass]

I never finished.

[Francis]

You gave up on that. That was a good one season. I think season two is actually better.

[Big Cat]

Really?

[Francis]

I thought so.

[Sass]

That's what people were saying.

[Francis]

Yeah, I thought it was funnier. It's set in a really interesting, like, it's very much. It felt much more White Lotus. Yeah. Than season one did.

[Big Cat]

Koreans need to stop being disrespected in the fucking world of Asians.

[Francis]

Koreans need to stop making such good content because they're making Hollywood look bad. You're hearing tiny little Korean footsteps coming up behind them in the secondary.

[Sass]

They have squid games.

[Francis]

There's an argument to be made that parasite the film work and the TV work coming out of Korea is no though there.

[Big Cat]

Well, I just watched that. I was talking to you guys about it. I watched that Korean movie on the plane on the way to fish week, and it was it like on every movie that I saw nominated this year. It was so interesting.

[Francis]

Which one's that.

[Big Cat]

What was it called? Not Old Boy is an American classic. A Korean American classic.

[Sass]

It was 2003. It's crazy.

[Big Cat]

It was something like. It was 20. Just 20. 26. Korean movie, huh? No other choice. Did you wind up watching that? No other choice. It was so good.

[Francis]

Wow. I love a thriller. Yeah, Very cool.

[Big Cat]

It was so.

[Francis]

Okay, I'll check this out.

[Big Cat]

But I totally. I told that there.

[Sass]

Or did you watch it dubbed? Or did you just read the captions?

[Big Cat]

I think I was reading the whole time.

[Sass]

Maybe I'll watch that on the flight.

[Big Cat]

It was excellent. If I tell Atlanta their music is cool, their shopping is cool.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

They're less expensive to get to than Japan.

[Francis]

Their skin care is amazing.

[Big Cat]

There's fashion. Is they. And they just dashing forward. I was looking at a picture of a group of Koreans and they looked like they were just having a blast.

[Sass]

So they swagged out.

[Big Cat]

And everybody was Korean too.

[Sass]

There's a lot of swaggy Koreans.

[Big Cat]

Their barbecue is great.

[Sass]

It used to be swaggy Chinese, but I think it's changed. There were changed around.

[Big Cat]

I think Korea always had that. I think that there's. There's just a lot of Chinese people. Yeah, I think the per capita swagginess Korea has that crown.

[Sass]

Yeah, they are pretty swaggy.

[Big Cat]

Maybe they like street over China. You're thinking Japan.

[Francis]

Well, China is the enemy. Whoa, you disagree?

[Sass]

I don't have any enemies.

[Big Cat]

See, this is where Francis has been. So you've been reading something and you're probably not wrong.

[Sass]

What do you got against China?

[Francis]

No. Where do I begin?

[Big Cat]

They're on our ass and everything. Yeah, they're right there and everything.

[Francis]

I don't know. Let's start with the fact that my dad owned a software company and every year they would pirate like 30% of

[Sass]

that's good business stuff that he's putting

[Francis]

out and just rip it.

[Big Cat]

They just have no IP laws.

[Sass]

Yeah, it's good business. Yeah, it's called hustling.

[Big Cat]

Their. Their military spending's up there. Their tech is up there. They're trying to make the yen the global currency, the Chinese yen.

[Sass]

That would be crazy. Imagine 10 years from now we're just all using yen. Something would have had to go very wrong.

[Big Cat]

I don't know. I think if we go right back.

[Francis]

It's been coming for a long time, but I think people thought it was going to happen sooner. And then it moved away. Whoa.

[Sass]

One yen goes a long way.

[Big Cat]

No, no. Goes a long way. 1 yen does not.

[Francis]

Oh, that's the Chinese. You won or whatever. Not bot. Yeah. Yuan. Yeah.

[Sass]

So 1 yen is 1. We gonna be rich forever.

[Big Cat]

Chinese Gilliam Wallow getting signed. Oh, God, I'm so happy those brothers are back with barstool.

[Sass]

Oh, love that. Stoked for them. Stoked for them.

[Big Cat]

So damn happy. Alrighty, let's talk about Quo. If your business communications are basically a burner phone or and a prayer, missed calls, texts nobody answers, and customers following up for the third time, it's a mess. At some point you just have to hit that wall where you're like, all right, I'm done with this. Let's fucking Quo. That's why today's episode is brought to you by Quo, spelled Q U O. The business communication system. Built so you can never miss a call. Your entire team can handle calls and text from one shared number. So no more missed messages or dropped conversations. Everyone sees the full thread, replies are faster, and customers actually feel taken care of. Quote is the number one rated business phone system on G2 for over 3,000 viewers. Built for how modern teams work. More than 90,000 businesses, from solo operators to growing teams, rely on it to stay connected, professional and consistently reachable. Money is on the line. Always say hello with Quo. Try Quo and you could get free plus. Or you could try Quo for free plus you get 20% off your first six months when you go to Quo.com boydad that's Q-U O.com boydad get some solutions for your business.

[Sass]

Well, we're going to Atlanta today and I'm. I'm going to be competing in my first. My first tournament professionally.

[Big Cat]

Competing?

[Francis]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

What do you mean you're playing?

[Sass]

Yeah, like, we're going to play, but, like, I'll probably. It's going to be like five minutes

[Francis]

because you'll get killed.

[Sass]

Yeah. Yeah, pretty much.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Sass]

Yeah. So one of our. One of the guys that we like, that he's like a. He does like the analytics and stuff for Bush, he had an extra team pass, which is needed to play in the major for challengers. And he was trying to sell it, but, like, he couldn't find anyone to buy it. So he was like, fuck it. Like, let's just like, I'm going to play. And then he, like texted in the group chat and asked if anyone wanted to play. And I was like, sure, I'll play. I mean, like, we're all like. They're like, we're going to get destroyed. It's not even going to be like. Like, it'll probably last three minutes if

[Big Cat]

I had to guess, but Jerry and Mook are playing.

[Sass]

Jerry and Mook aren't playing.

[Big Cat]

It's just you.

[Sass]

Just me? Yeah.

[Francis]

Are you that you're that much better than they are?

[Sass]

No. No.

[Francis]

Are you better than Jerry and Mook?

[Sass]

No, I'm better, like now. I don't really think so.

[Big Cat]

No.

[Francis]

Who's the best of the three of you?

[Big Cat]

Probably you.

[Sass]

Probably me.

[Big Cat]

He's just being home.

[Francis]

What kind of weird circular language are you using?

[Sass]

Because I will say, like, I. I used to be a lot better than them, but now, like, I don't as much anymore and they play a lot and they're both pretty good.

[Francis]

Now when you say you don't play as much anymore and they play a lot, does that mean that they must be playing 24 hours a day, non stop?

[Sass]

No, I only play Call of Duty like once or maybe like once or twice a week.

[Francis]

Oh, you play other games?

[Sass]

I play other games. And I also just don't. I haven't. Haven't had a ton of time to game recently.

[Francis]

Why?

[Sass]

Just been slammed.

[Francis]

You moved.

[Sass]

I moved.

[Big Cat]

What else you setting up or you. You do streaming about gaming, but you're not actually playing.

[Sass]

Yeah, that's the thing. I mean, this weekend I didn't play because I was live the entire time.

[Francis]

You're watching gaming.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

I see.

[Big Cat]

You're like Tom Brady. You're like Tony Rom.

[Sass]

I'm taking it all in. I'm studying the tape.

[Big Cat]

You're like Tom. You're like Tony Romo in the. You're in the booth now.

[Sass]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Big Cat]

It used to be on the sidelines.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

But you're also kind of like, who is that tight end Jason Whitten? He, like went and was in the booth for a year and he's like, like, actually, I'm gonna go back to playing. Yeah, it sucks to be in the booth.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

And so you're back out there.

[Sass]

Gotta get back out.

[Big Cat]

And you could have a Slumdog Millionaire type of.

[Francis]

I think what I'm thinking. I'm thinking you are gonna do something miraculous.

[Sass]

I think we're gonna make a run. And I just got to figure out a way to get some Adderall before.

[Francis]

Well, I was gonna say get you some Adderall. And then what we'll do is we'll find out who you're playing and I'll give them hallucinogenics.

[Sass]

Oh, I like that. Or even just like a Xanax, like. Yeah.

[Francis]

Larazepam. Some sort of Benzo.

[Sass]

Slow them down.

[Francis]

Tail.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

You know, I think you could give

[Sass]

the guys on the other team black tar heroin, and I think they're still winning.

[Big Cat]

Whoa. There's real screen.

[Sass]

No amount of Adderall in the world could make me win this match.

[Big Cat]

Let's try that, though. Like, let's put. What. What is the most.

[Sass]

I don't want to take Adderall anyway. I don't want to be like. Because I still do the stream.

[Big Cat]

Can you OD on Adderall or you just feel jittery?

[Sass]

I would assume your part probably explodes at a certain point.

[Francis]

Right. Let's give your competitors Hantavirus.

[Sass]

Yeah, my mom. My mom, like, sent me. Sent me something about, like, my old Adderall prescriptions. Like, I guess she, like, had the bottles. Is it. Is it still, like, do they still use all these names? Like, it's just straight up called, like, meth.

[Big Cat]

Oh, like methyloxidone.

[Sass]

Yeah, like methyl whatever. And then the other one's just called Amphetamine Sal.

[Big Cat]

So she's giving you a placebo. She was basically giving you Himalayan sea salt. And you thought that you were on Adderall, but it was in a capsule.

[Sass]

This is back. This is all.

[Francis]

These are old.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Francis, what'd you see about Hanta?

[Francis]

Well, I saw that Hanta Burner has been touring Montoya a lot lately. She's going to be in the. In the. In the swimsuit edition, which is why she was throwing up on that cruise ship to look good for the shoot.

[Big Cat]

Oh, man.

[Sass]

What is going on with the. I heard it's in Atlanta.

[Big Cat]

Atlantahna.

[Sass]

Yeah, my sister was saying stay away from the hospitals.

[Francis]

What's going on? Can you tell? I don't even know what hantavirus is.

[Sass]

I don't really know much about it.

[Big Cat]

It's like a virus that you get from my core. Putting your, like, mouth right over a rotting rodent and, like, putting a towel over your head to kind of, like, breathe it in. Yeah, yeah. If you. If you huff a red. A dead rodent, you kind of just put it right to your mouth and, like, suck on it like a canister of keyboard cleaner, you get the hantavirus. And that's what they were doing on this cruise ship. They're passing around dead rats.

[Francis]

What the fuck?

[Sass]

How does this even happen? That's actually what.

[Big Cat]

Yes. I'm telling you, you have to. Fucking.

[Francis]

Huff here's freaking out because he's been sucking on his wall sockets the last couple of weeks, and his walls are filled with dead rats.

[Big Cat]

He was eating dead rats. Like a crawfish boil. Like you gotta pinch the head.

[Francis]

Hitting his electrical outlets like they're a jewel. Ever since he quit the jewel, he's been sucking on the three pronged outlet. We get some. That rat fume.

[Sass]

That's crazy. I didn't. I didn't know that's how they got it.

[Big Cat]

And then they, like the cruise ship, like people started dying and so they started leaving them off on different continents.

[Sass]

Really?

[Big Cat]

They literally, like put one, like one person in South America, one person in. In Africa, one person in North.

[Francis]

Something biblical. Yeah, like the way that like Noah decided to repopulate species.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, that's how.

[Sass]

Like, let's have everyone get two vicunas

[Francis]

here, two Alpac go there.

[Big Cat]

It's a hor crux. They're just splitting it up. Or it's like the Rothchild families. Like, one of them will go to France and one of them will go to Germany.

[Sass]

Yeah, split up.

[Big Cat]

What do you know about the Rothch child?

[Sass]

S not enough. That's crazy, though. I hope I don't get this. Apparently it's really bad. Like they're saying it's way, like. I think it's like you die in a worse fashion. Like, what are the symptoms? Does it say death? It's just death.

[Francis]

I'm not rooting for you to die. That'd be a real bummer.

[Big Cat]

Intense.

[Francis]

But if there were a way for you to die, Hanta would be pretty apt.

[Sass]

Nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, abdominal pain.

[Francis]

Nobody would know.

[Sass]

I've had almost all of those today.

[Francis]

Yeah, nobody would know. You'd go to the hospital and they'd be like, I'm not seeing anything wrong here.

[Sass]

Shortness of breath, tightness in the chest. I mean, I've got feeling a little tight.

[Big Cat]

You might have it though. You might be like, you could be the chosen one. Like in the last bus, where it's like, I got bit when I was a kid. I've had the Hanta the whole time.

[Sass]

I don't know about this, guys.

[Big Cat]

I mean, you can't rush back. I would drive back, maybe pick up the suit on the way. But like, I would drive back because if you fly back, you're gonna infect everybody at the airport. And the symptoms might take a couple days to onset. On set,

[Sass]

we got an email, so we got.

[Francis]

We got like two cactus. It's just like every time I readjust, it pulls at my beautiful sweater.

[Sass]

Oh, yeah.

[Francis]

It's killing.

[Big Cat]

No.

[Francis]

How nice is that sweater?

[Big Cat]

Holy.

[Francis]

It's a good sweater.

[Big Cat]

What is that?

[Francis]

This is a very heavy sweater.

[Big Cat]

That's so nice.

[Sass]

Is that alpaca?

[Francis]

No, it's not alpaca.

[Sass]

What is it, standard cotton?

[Francis]

This is sweetbreads. It's made from the neck of goat.

[Sass]

Very nice. Very nice.

[Francis]

It's a sweetbread sweater.

[Big Cat]

Are you gonna like this outfit? In Ireland, you're royalty.

[Francis]

Is that so?

[Big Cat]

This is a perfect Ireland outfit.

[Francis]

Oh, because of the coal miners, I'm wearing their color. People are like, wow, he's just come out of the mine.

[Big Cat]

That's what they would think for sure.

[Francis]

Fuck you, Maggie Thatch.

[Sass]

I don't know if that. Is that the swag in Ireland?

[Big Cat]

This is the swag in Ireland. You think for sure. What do you think it is?

[Sass]

I don't know.

[Big Cat]

I've never. For what. For what Francis is going to be doing. It's either that or you're wearing, like, an Adidas tracksuit or some like that. That's more.

[Francis]

That's what it is.

[Big Cat]

Or some tweed.

[Sass]

You got to get, like, a nice suede vest like that.

[Francis]

Ireland. Have you talked to.

[Sass]

Have you talked to Kali at all?

[Francis]

No.

[Sass]

Let him know you're going out.

[Francis]

I haven't.

[Sass]

You're supposed to check in, give him the heads up.

[Big Cat]

You got to watch Sins of Our Father to prepare. Sins of the Father.

[Francis]

I'd like to check that out. I'm excited.

[Big Cat]

It's going to be great.

[Francis]

I'm very excited to hang out with Frankie Trent.

[Sass]

Are you going to go see a show? What is it, the Celtic Women? Is that what they're called?

[Francis]

Yeah, the Irish Voices. Traditional Irish dance Dance.

[Sass]

Doing the little dances.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

It'll be nice hanging out with them. But it would be. It would be really nice to explore. I bet wherever your golf course is, I bet very close to there, there's, like, a roadside pub that's more, like, charming and enchanting than anything that you've ever been to in the United States.

[Francis]

There's an awesome pub near Royal county down that my dad and I went to last when we were there. And what was it called? Can't remember.

[Big Cat]

Fuck. My bad.

[Francis]

But I don't know. I mean, I'm just gonna have fun drinking pints and Guinness.

[Sass]

Yeah, you're just gonna get hammered.

[Francis]

No, I don't think so.

[Sass]

That sounds what you just said.

[Francis]

Anytime I've ever drank Guinness, I don't get hammered.

[Sass]

Yeah, I've not had enough.

[Francis]

Well, it's too hard to drink a lot of it.

[Sass]

I remember getting to a point where, like, I got. I remember, like, being at a bar and getting, like, another Guinness and Being like, I literally can't drink anymore.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Sass]

And then just.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Sass]

And getting it down.

[Francis]

Anyway, man, I miss drinking with you. I know. We did it three times, and we

[Sass]

had a damn good time.

[Francis]

We went and played pool. Remember those days?

[Sass]

Oh, yeah.

[Francis]

Hey, want to go play pool for three hours? Sure.

[Sass]

Yeah, sure. Why not?

[Francis]

You'd have beers, and I'd have cocktails.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Francis]

That's what we did.

[Big Cat]

And you'd slow down, and he wouldn't. He would get sharper, pick up speed.

[Sass]

He'd keep going.

[Big Cat]

Jason Williams was asking about your golf skill, and I was just like, he's technically proficient in all hand sports in every way. Like, he's just like. So technically, I called you orthodox. Like, you're not unorthodox. You're, like, the opposite of unorthodox. You just have, like, a orthodox pool delivery, orthodox darts, orthodox golf swing. It's not like you have any, like, kinks or hitches. It's just, like, down the line, mechanically perfect, and it's insanely frustrating.

[Francis]

I'm lucky in that I learned all those sports in the Orthodox community of Williamsburg where they teach you a very strict technique. You know, the dart. You keep your elbow in because it's the same arm you're going to use to beat your wife when she doesn't wear her head covering.

[Big Cat]

Right. And the. The pool is just the same as sawing off the penis at a brisk.

[Francis]

Exactly right. That's exactly right. Slicing up kosher deli meat.

[Big Cat]

You know, sawing off the penis. That's what a bris is. Right? You saw the penis off.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Sass]

Remove the penis.

[Francis]

My golf swing is the same swing I use with my p. To build the tunnels under the synagogue.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Oh, really nice swing sets.

[Francis]

In truth, Roan, I have to be. I have to be honest with you. My golf swing is not that orthodox. It's not that orthodox or. Or pretty.

[Big Cat]

What? Oh, I mean, it's. I mean, sass is, like, buttery.

[Francis]

I would say sass probably has a better golf swing or sweeter, technically.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Sass]

I don't know why. I feel like my whole life I had a terrible swing, and then I just hit a point where I was like, butter. Butter just feels right.

[Big Cat]

It's the not working out.

[Francis]

Damn it, dude. You know, I really want you to be in the Internet invitational, but you have not made a single effort to put yourself in contention.

[Sass]

Yeah, because I don't play golf.

[Francis]

You're going to be better than players that are there. You would not be the last person picked. I would do can some of these guys. Your boy.

[Big Cat]

You'll be better than the retarded guy.

[Francis]

Oh, who's the.

[Sass]

Who's.

[Francis]

Who's the little like Dal.

[Sass]

Touche.

[Francis]

Gay, you know, escort kind of stripper kid?

[Sass]

Speed or no sketch.

[Francis]

Sketch was there. He was terrible.

[Sass]

Yeah, but he's like a celebrity.

[Francis]

Is he?

[Sass]

At least he was during that time.

[Big Cat]

He's a celebrity in the gaming world like you are.

[Sass]

First of all, no streaming and gaming

[Francis]

celebrity in the throat world. Taking it on. Put some sprinkles on his cheeks.

[Sass]

I don't. Yeah, I don't know. I think he's pretty vain.

[Francis]

Old 19th hole over there, you know?

[Big Cat]

Yeah, he was prostrating on camera.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Sass]

Crazy.

[Francis]

If you guys sketch more like stretch, fucking leave him open.

[Big Cat]

Oh, my God.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

And I say that with love.

[Francis]

Yeah, I say that with love. Seems like a really nice guy, but he'll be. I don't know. I don't know if he's back in truth. But there were players of that ilk. You would certainly not be bottom of the barrel.

[Sass]

Barrel.

[Big Cat]

Bottom of the barrel. There's other dudes, definitely. Statistically, in. How many people were there?

[Francis]

50, 48 last year. I think there will. I think there will be more this year.

[Big Cat]

So Statistically, if like 11 of the population is gay, like, there were at least four other people who probably who had gay sex there as well as him.

[Sass]

You think so?

[Big Cat]

I don't want to like lump him in. Statistically.

[Francis]

Well, I had enough for at least three, so that it means there's probably only one more. I was getting my.

[Big Cat]

Oh, my God, you were insatiable.

[Francis]

Big cedar. You know what I mean?

[Big Cat]

Yeah, yeah.

[Francis]

Pains Valley. That's what I was calling the buttholes I pillaged.

[Big Cat]

Have you ever heard the stat?

[Francis]

Pain in those valleys.

[Big Cat]

Have you ever heard the stat that the average human being.

[Francis]

The what?

[Big Cat]

That the average human being swallows eight spiders in a lifetime?

[Francis]

I have heard that.

[Sass]

Yeah. But that it changes every day. It's like eight spiders and they're like. It's actually eight spiders every night. You know, they keep moving it. They keep moving the goalposts.

[Big Cat]

Well, that is because I've been funneling spiders up the average for everybody.

[Sass]

I don't think I had spiders, to be honest.

[Big Cat]

Oh, you had some spiders. How would you know?

[Sass]

Because I use. I tape my mouth shut.

[Francis]

I'm pretty sure our spider here at Barstool swallows eight Daves and

[Sass]

I. That's a good.

[Big Cat]

That's.

[Sass]

That's good. That's actually a great reason to Use the mouth Dave tape to reduce your spider intake.

[Big Cat]

I've been using it, but I have a little slit in mine to get

[Sass]

so the spiders can just.

[Big Cat]

So I can I still get to have the taste?

[Sass]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Francis]

I got a bad feeling. Those spiders know how to lift the tape up and then close the hatch on the way in.

[Big Cat]

I salt.

[Francis]

You'll never know.

[Big Cat]

I put tyin around my mouth tape so as they're on their way in, they season themselves on their way to spiders.

[Sass]

Yeah, dude, I had some crazy Tajin Jolly Rancher gummies the other day.

[Francis]

No.

[Sass]

Yup.

[Big Cat]

Shut up.

[Francis]

Why would you buy such a thing?

[Sass]

Oh, they were delicious.

[Francis]

Come on now.

[Sass]

Yeah. Look up spicy Jolly Rancher gummies.

[Francis]

I don't know about that, dude. That doesn't sound. That doesn't sound right to me.

[Big Cat]

Made by Kiva. Oh, these are weed gummies.

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[Francis]

yeah, I'm not a fan of this dude. These heat wave gummies.

[Sass]

Trust. Have I ever. Have I ever led you down the wrong path?

[Francis]

Spicy candy. Come on, bro.

[Sass]

This is like. They're like Mexican gummy bears.

[Big Cat]

This is very Mexican coated. The Mexican brothers have to love this.

[Sass]

You have you guys never had the Mexican gummy bears? Like the Tahin?

[Big Cat]

I've had like the. The one big atomic gummy bear. You know what I'm talking about?

[Sass]

Yeah, that's not at all what I'm talking about.

[Big Cat]

What are you talking about?

[Francis]

Dude, back when I. One of the last things I saw on my Instagram was this guy who he. I guess he films himself. He'll eat something insane and then film the aftermath. And he ate a thousand milligram gummy bear. Edible. It was like the size of a teddy bear. And just biting it, like eating its ears and stuff was impossible. And he's like, I'm gonna keep filming no matter what. Later that night, he's puking uncontrollably. He sleeps 16 hours and wakes up and his eyes are still so bloodshot. And he's like, I'm still so. He's like, it's building. Yeah, I think it Is this guy.

[Sass]

I mean, where do you even find that fucking thing?

[Francis]

What is it? How much is it? Is it a thousand milligrams? Oh my God.

[Sass]

I did not die from that.

[Francis]

Oh my God. Those.

[Sass]

Joey Diaz, the what does he take? The stars. He calls them like his magic stars. Yeah, like 200 milligrams each.

[Big Cat]

When I went to that wedding in Ethiopia, the groom linked up with all of his Ethiopian boys before and the one gave him like a SIM card. He's like, whatever you do, do not lose this SIM card. And he put the SIM card in his wallet and on his way to the airport, he took a 500 milligram gummy. And by the time he got into the airport, like his knees buckled outside the airport and his wife had to push him in a wheelch through the. His like wife to be on their flight back to Ethiopia. Had to push him in a wheelchair through the whole airport. When he woke up in Ethiopia, he had lost his wallet and his cell phone. And this dude's like SIM card that's like, was a one of one thing, like on his way to his wedding, lost everything that like.

[Sass]

I don't understand why people think that's a good idea ever. Why, why do people decide like, I'm going to get the highest I've ever been right before flying?

[Francis]

You know who does this, by the way, on a semi nightly basis? Clemmer.

[Sass]

Oh, yeah.

[Francis]

100, 150 milligram edibles.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Like routinely.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. That is actually buckling yourself.

[Sass]

Like your, your tolerance has to be insane.

[Big Cat]

But it's not just tolerance. Like you're doing such insane stuff to your mind.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Your brain is going through it.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Like, imagine that guy who took the. What, how would you say a thousand.

[Francis]

Five thousand.

[Big Cat]

Five thousand milligra. And what was happening in his brain that his brain was like, shut it down for 16 hours.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Shut this down.

[Francis]

He. He filmed himself again three days later. Still impossibly high. Apparently when that inescapably, miserably high, he's just like, I just want it to end. I don't think he was getting less high. I don't think he was wearing off.

[Sass]

Yeah, probably not. Apparently, like when that happens, you take like super strong edibles.

[Francis]

Apparently.

[Sass]

If. I think I've said this before, but if you. Apparently it's like you are like, you become noticeably less high like once you really. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Because isn't that what's happening with edibles? The way they're metabolizing your stomach unleashes it like it's a completely different drug.

[Sass]

Pretty much. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

So if you just out the drugs.

[Sass]

I don't know. That's great. Like the. Yeah, the high dose edibles are freaky.

[Francis]

Yeah, that's nuts.

[Big Cat]

Who are those? Who the are those for?

[Sass]

I mean, dude, the one of the guys on our. On our. On bush.

[Francis]

Louis, wait. I'm sorry, Harry. How did his wife not get angry with him that she had to put, like, right before their wedding?

[Sass]

He probably should probably. There's nothing she can do.

[Big Cat]

She's probably, like, annoyed, but also, like, I don't know, it might be, like, lightly cultural that, like, the man just kind of, like, gets to do what they want to do.

[Francis]

I see. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

He just was, like, doing what he wanted to do.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Like, she takes his kids home to Ethiopia for like a six month stretch of time just to, like, be raised with her family in Ethiopia. Just. And. And he just is, like, living in the United States as if, like.

[Sass]

Yeah, Galaxy gas.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Well, I might be saying hi, but, like, he just doesn't have the response

[Francis]

in six months. All right, here we go. We go.

[Sass]

Like, opening the drawers.

[Francis]

He's like, takes out the hammer. John Wick busts open the floor. There's a vault underneath. All right, what do I start with? Literally goes into cryospace. Like, cryo sleep until she returns.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, it's cultural.

[Francis]

That's amazing. That's amazing. Wait, what were you saying? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off.

[Sass]

No, you're talking about, like, on the flight to Birmingham, the guy took like a. Like a 10 milligram edible. And then I was talking and I was like, yeah, I didn't, like, I didn't fall asleep. I didn't even get tired. Like, nothing happened. And then our. But the guy that was on our team, Lou Fire. He was like. He was like, yeah, I took a 200 milligram live rosin edible. I passed out immediately. I was like, bro, what even is that? That's insane.

[Big Cat]

You passed out. Like, why did you take it to your neck?

[Francis]

Yeah, like, what have you done? What the.

[Sass]

I just don't know how you could get on a plane that up.

[Francis]

So this is my. A friend of mine has a petrifying fear of flying.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And I. He didn't always. And I said, what happened? And he said, one time he took an edible before a flight and had a panic attack on the flight. And ever since then, he has had a. It triggered a fear of flying. He didn't before that. And he went to see a Psychiatrist or psychologist about it. And he walked in the door and he was like, I've developed a fear of flying. And the psychologist said, did you take an edible? And he said that one in three cases that he sees, one in three of people who have a crippling fear of flying, or maybe ones that have developed it happened because of a bad edible experience.

[Sass]

Why are people taking it? Like, you'd be better off smoking weed before getting on a plane, maybe.

[Francis]

So I guess. Well, I guess my point is I am somebody. I don't. I want to take edibles for my upcoming overnight flight.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

But I've been doing it for a long time.

[Sass]

Yeah, you're not going to.

[Big Cat]

I think that people want to take. Take an edible that's as big as their anxiety about flying. And, like, it's inversely proportional, not directly proportional. So it's like, if you're really scared, you shouldn't take 80 milligrams. Like, you should take way less or not or none. Probably just zero. And if you're not scared at all, maybe you take, like, a bunch. And if your tolerance is high, but in general, like, 10 milligrams of an edible is probably okay.

[Francis]

Oh, yeah?

[Sass]

Yeah. Even the fives?

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Why?

[Francis]

How.

[Big Cat]

What's your tolerance at right now?

[Francis]

I'll take tens.

[Sass]

You ever go up more?

[Francis]

No, there's no. There's diminishing returns at that point.

[Sass]

That story about wake up feeling like that.

[Francis]

And I eat a jar of peanut butter with honey, and I go, scoop of peanut butter. And then I go into the honey.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

So I wake up, and the honey. And the honey has peanut butter in it, which drives me crazy. Yeah, that drives me crazy.

[Sass]

It's hilarious that something can drive you crazy that you do.

[Francis]

Yeah, absolutely. And you get to this thing where you're like, why am I not going honey first? Peanut butter. Yeah, that would solve it. I don't mind having honey in the peanut butter jar.

[Sass]

No, no one does.

[Big Cat]

Is your honey a squirt? I should have brought in this honey that I just got a fucking honeycomb from this past weekend. I should have brought it in for gift Tuesday.

[Francis]

Oh, that helped me with my allergies. Local honey money. You're talking.

[Big Cat]

Yes. And it's like this beautiful comb.

[Sass]

Would have loved that. Next time. Next Tuesday.

[Big Cat]

No, I mean next Tuesday.

[Francis]

I do think we're not gonna report

[Big Cat]

together for a month.

[Francis]

I do think that later in life when I have land and can actually settle down, I'm assuming that the hobby of being a rapierist will Come to me.

[Sass]

Sorry, Come again.

[Francis]

Oh, excuse me, sorry.

[Sass]

What was that?

[Francis]

It's apiarist. It's not rapierist?

[Big Cat]

Rapierist, that is the sword that is.

[Francis]

And I'm already proficient with that rapierist, so there's no reason for me to pick up the rapier.

[Big Cat]

And Robespierre? Who's Robespierre?

[Francis]

He was the Reign of Terror in the French Revolution.

[Big Cat]

Robespierre. So Robespierre had a rapier and an apiary?

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Sass]

Interesting.

[Francis]

An apiary is a beehive and an apiarist is somebody who studies bees and tends to be.

[Sass]

Yeah, yeah.

[Big Cat]

And also has sex with.

[Francis]

Is someone who outdoes the next closest rapist.

[Sass]

Oh, I see. I see.

[Francis]

He's rapier.

[Sass]

Someone who takes it to that next level.

[Francis]

Rapier. Yeah, yeah,

[Big Cat]

that would be a nice hobby. I feel like guys who have that hobby, like rape

[Sass]

or bees.

[Big Cat]

I feel like it was way more popular in the 70s, the bees.

[Francis]

I'm not a criminal. I'm just. It's recreational for me.

[Big Cat]

Isn't that what the movie Taxi's about or something?

[Francis]

Taxi Driver.

[Big Cat]

Taxi Driver. Taxi Driver, yeah. Taxi's the one with.

[Francis]

That's a show.

[Big Cat]

Queen Latifah. Oh, yeah, that's a show. What's the one with Queen Latifah and Jimmy Fallon? Oh, Taxi as well.

[Francis]

Oh, I remember that movie. What the fuck was that? She's the driver, right?

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Or something. Collateral, maybe. Taxi. Yeah, Taxi. Like the show.

[Sass]

Like the show.

[Big Cat]

That's that. They can just take the name from that famous ass show.

[Francis]

Jimmy Fallon had a couple of hits in that era. I remember watching the one about the Boston Red. Yeah, that was a great movie. Drew Barrymore, a little rom com.

[Sass]

Yeah, come on, now.

[Big Cat]

Nah, he was like. People were obsessed and in love with him.

[Francis]

Yeah,

[Big Cat]

yeah. They're like, he's the young Hawkeye and he sings and he kind of giggles his way through. He's very charming.

[Francis]

Very charming.

[Big Cat]

Very charming guy. Deep underbelly. A dark, deep seated underbelly.

[Francis]

I mean, that's my part. That's the part of Jimmy Fallon, to me that makes him so redeemable is that he's a total lush.

[Big Cat]

That he would, like, show up to the late night show and just have like a black eye.

[Francis]

Dude, there was a time when he. He had to wear this, like, finger bandage. Like it was a splint and a finger bandage. And he claimed on air that it was some issue. The truth of the matter, this was the rumor among people who knew was that he was so drunk One night that he was wearing his ring and he fell in his own kitchen and there was a drawer open in the kitchen and his hand snagged and the ring ripped all the skin off. Like, ripped it up the hand.

[Sass]

Yeah, He's a big drinker.

[Francis]

Big time drinker, but that's awesome.

[Sass]

Yeah, he likes to party.

[Francis]

Because if he were just. Just as perfect and as sort of like animatronic doll as he is, appears to be, then, you know, you need

[Big Cat]

to have a vice.

[Francis]

Boring.

[Big Cat]

You need to have a counter. Or there's something we don't see at all. Yeah, there's something very dark under there.

[Francis]

But the fact that, like, he'll end a show on a Wednesday and end up at some bar in New York and, like, be like, I got everyone's tab.

[Sass]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Francis]

Is awesome. I love that.

[Big Cat]

I think his apartment, his old apartment was for sale. There's like a raised platform with a piano and some, like, stained glass that he had on famously or something when he was very drunk. There was on the piano too, I believe. Beautiful Steinway hooked on the stained glass. The skin off of his ass.

[Sass]

Right.

[Big Cat]

Cool.

[Sass]

Good stuff.

[Francis]

Fun. Really good stuff. Today Fell said we were thin on topics.

[Sass]

No, never.

[Francis]

We went everywhere, bro.

[Sass]

Yeah, of course. We always do.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Sass]

All right, boys. Thank you. Thanks, everyone. Thanks for listening. We will see you next week. Thank you. Goodbye.