Marshawn Lynch | Son of a Boy Dad #368

Summary

Son of a Boy Dad #368: Marshawn Lynch | January 20, 2026

Main Theme

In this episode of Son of a Boy Dad, Lil Sasquatch (Lil Sas), Rone, Francis, and Harry engage in a loose, freewheeling conversation that mixes everyday anecdotes, pop culture observations, irreverent humor, and memories both light and dark. Marshawn Lynch, while referenced throughout, inspires a central thread on risk-taking, authenticity, and being misunderstood. As always, the team leans into their strengths: riffing on masculinity in the modern world, sports, showbiz, cooking obsessions, and formative memories.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Knives, Kitchens & Cooking Obsessions

• Francis discusses his recent splurge on Swedish and Japanese knives and the culture of kitchen obsessions.
  • Japanese knives require high maintenance but are considered high-end and exquisitely functional. (02:24)
  • “I got some absolute heat. Some heavy hitters...They cost what those shoes cost. They're high end.”—Francis [02:10]
• The gang riffs on competitive one-upmanship with kitchen supplies, and the relationship between having nice gear and actual culinary practice.

2. Hockey Show & Representation

• Discussion of the TV show "Heated Rivalry," a hockey series with a groundbreaking gay romance at its center.
  • Ron reflects on how the show grew on him: “I wrote it off after watching the first episode as pulp. It's trash. And now I actually have been quite impressed by what's going on.” (05:08)
• They explore the changing representation of LGBTQ+ characters on TV— from Will & Grace to modern shows like Euphoria.
• The group examines lingering cultural discomforts and the evolution of acceptance, with humorous detours about sports and masculinity.

3. Athlete Attraction, Masculinity, and Sports Culture

• Playful debate over which type of athlete is most attractive if they were gay—hockey, football, or soccer players?
  • “A lot of people think hockey is the hottest...I would go for probably football or soccer. Probably soccer.”—Ron [15:06]
• This segues into stories about coming out in professional sports, referencing Carl Nassib and other recent NFL players.

4. Comedy of Memory: Will & Grace, Ben & Jerry’s, and More

• The gang reminisces about Will & Grace, its cultural impact, and compare it to modern and historic sitcoms (11:10).
• Spirited sidebar about Ben & Jerry’s—and the politics, personalities, and business behind the brand (57:40).

5. Marshawn Lynch & Authenticity

• Iconic Marshawn Lynch wisdom is invoked repeatedly, especially regarding taking risks and staying true to yourself:
  • “I'm gonna get got, but I'm gonna get mine more than I get got, though.”—Marshawn Lynch, quoted by Ron [24:01, 24:09]
• Discussion about how Lynch’s humor, persona, and media appearances often miss the mark when shoehorned into mainstream formats.
• Noted for authenticity: “He's like black guy funny. Like, he'd be funny in a room full of black guys. You don't have to… fish out of water him for him to be funny.” —Francis [25:05]

6. Candy, Childhood, and Consumer Rants

• Deep dive into nostalgia and nutritional “horrors” of childhood candy, such as Skittles being named the worst for you (26:00).
• Lighthearted speculation on the invention of M&Ms for snipers—“because snipers needed a candy they could eat in war times that wasn’t going to be sticky.” —Francis [28:20]
• “Good and Plenty was a candy that actually was used to tamp rifles in the Civil War…These taste okay.”—Ron [29:09]

7. Personal Memories: Young Romance and Unexpected Loss

• Francis shares a formative story of a middle school romance, with a dark twist: years later, his former love was murdered in Atlanta. The story is handled with a mix of sincere reflection and comic discomfort.
  • “She was killed…She was in Atlanta and she—she was a chef…and they were killed in their home with guns.”—Ron [46:13]
  • The others trade gallows humor and empathy as the story lands with an unsettling punch.

8. Cooking for Kids & Parenting Talk

• Ron and Francis compare notes on raising kids, feeding young children, and the adult compulsion to cook at home.
  • “If you want to have the things that you want…you need to be able to make that at home.”—Francis [63:49]
• Whimsical exchanges about babies eating salmon, squash, and the end of “baby food” as a norm.

9. Miscellaneous Riffing: Hotels, Disney, Life Upgrades

• The group shares childhood memories of low-end hotels, family trips, and the subtle class markers in travel.
  • “I was born among cigarette burned sheets at Disney.”—Ron [43:47]
• They satirize luxury family Disney trips and fantasize about returning as adults or with their own kids.

10. Music, Movies & Media Preferences

• The podcast closes with reflections on favorite movies (esp. Paul Thomas Anderson’s There Will Be Blood), critiques of “Licorice Pizza,” and bits of song lyrics and banter.
  • “There Will Be Blood is as good as it gets, as far as movies go…it might be the best in my time.”—Ron [74:40]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Francis on knife culture: “I'm worried…if I have to take care of these—they cost what those shoes cost. They're high end.” [02:20]
• Ron on 'Heated Rivalry': “I wrote it off after watching the first episode as pulp…Now I actually have been quite impressed by what's going on.” [05:08]
• Francis on Marshawn Lynch: “They’re trying to make him, like, goofy by putting him with, like, an articulate white guy…But he’s like black guy funny…you don't have to, like, fish out of water him for him to be funny.” [25:05]
• Marshawn Lynch’s Philosophy (as cited): “I'm gonna get got, but I'm gonna get mine more than I get got though.” [24:01, again at 24:09]
• Ron on childhood travel: “I was born among cigarette burned sheets at Disney. Sheets with holes in them.” [43:47]
• On childhood relationships turning tragic: “She was killed…They lived together and they were killed in their home with guns.” [46:13]
• On cooking for kids: “My kids will just grab everything off the table…if I want the things I could get from a restaurant, I need to be able to make that at home.” —Francis [63:49]
• Francis reminiscing about growing up: “We accepted that that was the way things were. Which is why now you cannot handle flying coach and I can.” [43:33]
• On candy invention: “M&Ms were invented because snipers needed a candy that they could eat in war times that weren’t going to be sticky.” —Francis [28:20]
• Ben & Jerry's Political Beef: “Something happened with the Ben and Jerry’s guys...It's tough that these brothers are breaking up over a political ideology.” —Francis [58:01]

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Highlighted Timestamps

• 02:00-02:35 – Francis on high-end knife shopping, investment, and care.
• 05:08-06:38 – Ron’s evolving take on "Heated Rivalry" and its LGBTQ+ representation.
• 15:06-15:27 – The athlete attraction debate.
• 24:01, 24:09 – Marshawn Lynch quote on risk-taking.
• 25:05 – Commentary on Lynch’s media depiction.
• 26:00-27:07 – Skittles as the “worst” candy and the science behind it.
• 28:20-29:09 – M&Ms as war candy and the Civil War “Good and Plenty” gag.
• 43:47 – Ron’s self-deprecating take on childhood and luxury standards.
• 46:13 – The shock of a childhood love’s fatal story.
• 63:49 – Cooking as a necessity for parenting.

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Tone & Style

The episode is marked by irreverence, quick-witted exchanges, and the classic Barstool blurring of sincerity and satire. The hosts oscillate between self-deprecating personal stories, pop culture hot-takes, and compassionate (if awkward) support for each other. References to race, sexuality, and trauma are approached with a blend of dark humor and genuine curiosity, reflecting both how young men process discomfort and how the culture itself is changing.

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Final Thoughts

While Marshawn Lynch is not a direct guest, his persona, philosophy, and the themes he represents—authenticity, risk-taking, being misunderstood—form a backbone to the sprawling conversation. The episode is rich in inside jokes, generational references, and the kind of group therapy that only happens among old friends with microphones—unfiltered, often heartfelt, occasionally poignant, and always hunting for a punchline.

Transcript

[Francis]

Hey, Son of a Boy Dad Listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Paramount is the new home of UFC.

[Ron]

And we're coming out swinging with UFC 324. Oh, what a shot.

[Harry]

And 325 on back to back weekends.

[Francis]

The new era is here. Time.

[Harry]

Every fight.

[Ron]

Bam. One subscription. Oh, my good.

[Francis]

Pay per view just got knocked out.

[Harry]

Back to back blockbuster UFC events this month only on Paramount.

[Ron]

Plus, by the way, my credit score, I don't know what the. Is going on down.

[Harry]

Is it down?

[Ron]

It's just there's factors that, like, I. I don't understand where they're coming from. I don't understand. Checking it. Huh?

[Harry]

Checking it too much.

[Ron]

It's fine. It's 7:57 right now.

[Harry]

You'll be all right.

[Ron]

That's pretty good.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Favorite plane and your credit score?

[Harry]

Mine's a CRJ 900.

[Francis]

Mine's a 380.

[Ron]

Mine's the 800.

[Harry]

The 800?

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Harry]

I don't know if I know that one.

[Ron]

It's a plane made after a credit score. All right already.

[Harry]

Welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad Podcast. Today it is a day.

[Francis]

That's the truth. Is that your old knife, Francis?

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Francis]

It's a nice knife.

[Ron]

Well, I. I got it.

[Harry]

You bought it? Like, is that from home or did you get that in the office?

[Ron]

The kitchen.

[Francis]

Oh, it's light, actually. I thought it was going to be heavy. No, I just retooled on my knives at home. A mixture of Swedish and Japanese.

[Ron]

Did you really?

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Talk to me about that.

[Francis]

I got some absolute heat. Some heavy hitters. The Swedish ones are from this Swedish chef that he just died. I don't even know him. He's like a famous Swedish celeb chef and he just perished. And the knife store guy said that, like, the, the ones that he sold me were the last ones, and then the Japanese ones were. Were some absolute heavy hitters. Lighter handle than I wanted, but I mean, the blade.

[Ron]

Yeah, the blades. Amazing. The problem is the Japanese knives take a lot of maintenance. I heard.

[Francis]

I know that's what I was told. I'm worried about that. But if I have to take care of these, they. I mean, they cost what those shoes cost. They're high end.

[Ron]

Oh, I believe it.

[Harry]

They're high.

[Ron]

Yeah. Yeah. That's cool. That will be my next obsession.

[Francis]

Nice blade.

[Ron]

Well, now that you've bought some, I have to steal.

[Francis]

You have to have better ones. Yeah, but come get.

[Ron]

No, no, Better ones. Just of. Of your league. I want to be in your league.

[Francis]

Yeah. I can't have better knives than, you know.

[Ron]

You can have better knives.

[Francis]

Better equally good.

[Ron]

You could have them. I just. I would have to not know about it.

[Francis]

You got to get a hand on this knife. You got to dice some cukes with.

[Ron]

A hand on knife. Yeah, yeah.

[Harry]

What have you cut up?

[Francis]

Red peppers, onions, garlic, potatoes, and all.

[Harry]

Of those you cut with, like, a spoon. So give me something good.

[Ron]

What are you talking about? Can't cut those things with a fucking spoon.

[Harry]

Red pepper.

[Ron]

So that.

[Harry]

With your hands.

[Ron]

That says, like, sometimes you say things that just make. Would make a normal person think you're an alien. Remember when you were like, dude, you asked for coffee for Christmas. Why don't you just go buy some at cvs?

[Francis]

That was crazy.

[Ron]

Who buys coffee?

[Harry]

It's CVS over that.

[Ron]

Me.

[Harry]

I do.

[Ron]

Was that about.

[Harry]

Dude, K cups.

[Ron]

God, man, New York. Some of the best coffee in the world is here.

[Harry]

I'm not a big coffee guy, clearly.

[Ron]

I know.

[Harry]

I won't be, unfortunately. Unless you can start. Because that is that espresso machine. Make zero sugar energy. I'll try get some zero sugar energy pumping out of that thing and I'll.

[Ron]

Pull through, buy a carbon carbonator, and bush a gallon of gasoline. Fucking fizz it up for you.

[Harry]

I've been hitting the Phoenixes pretty hard. I won't lie.

[Francis]

They're so damn good.

[Harry]

You might notice there's a stack in my workspace.

[Ron]

That's good. Yeah, I like to see.

[Francis]

I saw you leaving the office, filling up a hockey bag with Phoenixes on your way.

[Harry]

I'll be honest. I was like, part of me. I wish that I replied to that email and asked for some. They said. They said they would stock your house with them if you wanted.

[Francis]

Yeah, you can get a pallet. He'll pull up with a pallet of Phoenix.

[Ron]

Okay. Speaking of hockey bag, I went back and watched more of heated rivalry. Of course I'm going to be honest with you. And it got better. I now am going to endorse the show more than I did in our most recent episode, for which I'm sure at this point I've been pilloried, but it was. I missed the second and the third episode, and I jumped right into the fourth.

[Francis]

That's insane.

[Harry]

Why?

[Ron]

I'm. I'm watching it with someone, so I'm on their track.

[Harry]

I see. I see. And you got to catch up.

[Ron]

I just came in and they were halfway through that episode, and I Jumped in and they explained to me what was going on. And then I'm watching with this dude. I'm. So I should probably clarify.

[Francis]

But anyway, explains the shirt from.

[Ron]

This is his second time through, so he doesn't really have to pay attention, which is why he blows me while we watch it. But no. Anyway, so I will say that it got better to the point where the character development and the acting and the writing is much more compelling than I wrote it off. I wrote it off after watching the first episode as pulp. It's trash. And now I actually have been quite impressed by what's going on.

[Francis]

It could be a Harry Potter situation where in like, the first Harry Potter movie, the kids aren't good at acting by like four by seven.

[Harry]

Yeah, they're not bad.

[Francis]

They're eating on stage.

[Ron]

And what I'll say, too, is that, you know, it's just a love story that, you know, we're so used to seeing love stories between a man and a woman. And if you can just get past that and accept that it's between a man and a man, which. It's 2026 at this point. If you're not accustomed to seeing that, you must be living under cock.

[Harry]

Rock, Rock hard cock.

[Ron]

What am I saying? Bills are favored at Denver by a point and a half. That can't be.

[Francis]

Did you see on New Year's when, like, they're doing the kisses on SportsCenter and Scott Van Pelt was like, what are we. What are we seeing out here? Lots of love. Like, he's about to just be like, what are we doing here? But he realizes 2026 and the windows closed on gay bashing.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Such.

[Ron]

It's just a sort of a. There's that great line in Borat where he goes to do the driving instructor test and he greets him with the two kisses on the cheek or whatever.

[Harry]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ron]

And the guy goes, I'm not accustomed to that, but that's okay. I think that's the general attitude. It's like, yeah, it's not what I'm used to seeing, but that's okay.

[Francis]

Quick sidebar while we're on Borat.

[Ron]

The.

[Francis]

A very famous Kazakh actor died the other day. And I saw a bunch of tweets being like, fuck Sacha Baron Cohen. Like, this guy was great. Fuck Sacha Baron Cohen.

[Harry]

Really?

[Francis]

And I don't know if that. He just made Kazakhstan look clownish. But I didn't realize that there was a sect of the Kazakhs that hate Sacha Baron Cohen for what he did.

[Ron]

To him, Borax. I had heard that, I had heard that he was not, they were not happy with his portrayal. And I also heard that a big part of that was because the scenes that are allegedly filmed in Kazakhstan, he didn't film there and that they were mad.

[Francis]

It's actually Turkmenistan Aeran, their heated rival.

[Ron]

Yeah, No, I, I, I think that they were annoyed about that. It's like. Well, he still would have.

[Harry]

Where were they filmed?

[Ron]

Like rapists and stuff? Yeah, probably la. Yeah. You know the Valley. Yeah.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

I was shocked to hear that. But I guess, I guess the globalization has really hit.

[Harry]

But on haters back home.

[Francis]

Yeah, it's nasty.

[Harry]

It's brutal.

[Francis]

The guy was hot and strong, though, the Kazak guy.

[Harry]

Oh, really? So he was like, it should have been me.

[Francis]

Yes. Yeah, probably something like that.

[Harry]

He probably does like his own Borat. And they're all like, this is, this is the actual guy.

[Francis]

Very nice.

[Harry]

You're way funnier.

[Francis]

He was jacked and like, he was like holding two women. He actually was one of the most jacked men I've ever seen.

[Harry]

Yeah, the Middle Eastern jacked is a different type of jacked.

[Francis]

Yeah, it's nice. It was like Tibetan jacked. He was like a mountain. Or he had like, lung capacity. Sharp.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Francis]

But back to your gay show.

[Ron]

No, I'm done with that.

[Francis]

Well, so. But you're just saying that it got way better.

[Ron]

It did. Yeah.

[Harry]

I mean, I believe you.

[Ron]

I'm at a point where I'll probably finish the show by myself. Yeah, I bought in.

[Francis]

You're most.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Ron]

But I also, I'll say I still haven't seen like a super gay scene.

[Francis]

Well, I heard episode five is where it gets, like, out of control. It turns into midnight in Paris or whatever. Yeah.

[Harry]

I haven't seen episode five is where it gets gross.

[Ron]

Maybe I've just been lucky to or what? Not lucky, but I've, I've just selectively missed the most kind of scarring scenes for someone that would be unused to that. But it hasn't been that, you know. Brutal.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Or shocking to me. I've been fine with it.

[Harry]

I think this might be a worse way of describing it.

[Ron]

Well, I don't know.

[Harry]

Hasn't been too brutal or shocking.

[Ron]

I don't know. I don't know how you guys, you're. I watched the clip. Your reactions to me admitting that I had watched the show were what made me realize that I was insane for admitting that.

[Harry]

No, no, I don't actually care. It's a, it's a very popular show. I'm not surprised.

[Ron]

But I guess maybe there aren't that many straight men.

[Harry]

I'm sure there's a good amount of straight men that are watching it.

[Francis]

What's the last show that was built around being gay? Not that I. Gay characters.

[Ron]

Will and Grace.

[Francis]

Modern Family. Will and Grace was awesome.

[Ron]

Will and Grace is awesome.

[Francis]

Were they hot mouthing on Will and Grace though?

[Ron]

I don't know what that means.

[Francis]

Kissing. Oh, was there men kissing on that show? I feel like it was like gay, but it was really just like.

[Harry]

I've literally. I've never even heard of this show. Like it's never even come up once.

[Francis]

I used to watch. I used to watch. I used to be locked in on Will and Grace.

[Ron]

Really?

[Francis]

Oh, shit. There's a new Will and Grace.

[Ron]

Will and Grace was as popular of a sitcom as how I met your mother.

[Harry]

Yeah, it's not ringing.

[Ron]

Years and years and years.

[Francis]

When it was Megan Mullally was like the female. She was hilarious. She's married to Ron sw. Really? Yeah, they're power couple. And then Deborah Messing, I think was the. And I had a light crush on Deborah Messing as a child when Will and Grace was coming out.

[Ron]

I never really watched it, but it did come on after another show. Was it on after Friends or something like that?

[Francis]

Probably, or. And one of them was real femme and the other one was like kind of mask presenting. There was the one guy who was like fucking gay as shit. But I don't know if they were ever. Were they? I don't know if there was anything like very sexual on it. It was more like sitcom style where someone would like skid through the door and be like, this is the problem I'm facing today.

[Harry]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ron]

It's like frasier. Kind of Ms. Frasier apartment show. Friends. That was. That was the Seinfeld. All those shows were based on that. It was the New York City apartments.

[Harry]

Yeah. And this was just the gay version it crushed though.

[Francis]

What is it called?

[Harry]

Will and Grace.

[Francis]

Will and Grace. Homophobe.

[Harry]

Sorry. Back in my day, it was Jill and Grace.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Francis]

That'd be two girls. Jill and Grace would be two girls.

[Harry]

Bible says true.

[Francis]

That's gayer.

[Harry]

That is gayer.

[Francis]

So what other gay shows have there been like? This is. I can't think of a lot of shows like obviously Humpback Mountain.

[Harry]

I'm only getting movies. I'm having a hard time thinking of shows.

[Ron]

There are. There are others. There was the one that was on HBO for a moment. Glee.

[Francis]

Glee's Gay. Gay adjacent. But it's not.

[Ron]

There was a gay character in that. There's the one that had definitely more than one Billy on the street. Billy Eichner was in one.

[Francis]

I think Euphoria had some gayness, for sure.

[Harry]

Well, that's like more. That's more just like gay undertones.

[Francis]

I mean, isn't there a. There's a trans person. Those are undertones, Father.

[Harry]

That's undertones.

[Ron]

There's also.

[Francis]

That was overt.

[Ron]

Yeah. The tones are pretty on the top.

[Harry]

They're under.

[Ron]

It's the harmony.

[Francis]

Straight.

[Ron]

I guess you can hear the melody of those tones. The father. There's a flashback scene where he goes to a gay bar and is, you know, dancing with this. His. His high school buddy. And they end up making out and stuff.

[Harry]

Classic.

[Ron]

But then he finds out that he got his high school girlfriend pregnant.

[Harry]

Brutal.

[Ron]

His whole life is derailed.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

From being the happiest gay dude of all time.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

To be trapped into a fatherhood life.

[Ron]

He's secretly one of the best characters on that show.

[Francis]

Now he just has to go to baseball practice.

[Harry]

I know. Brutal throw.

[Francis]

Batting. Batting practice.

[Ron]

Brutal.

[Harry]

It's got to be tough as a.

[Francis]

Gay dude learning throwing motion.

[Harry]

Yeah. With your son learning the throwing motion. You're both learning at the same time, watching YouTube tutorials.

[Francis]

The son's putting his arms around the dad to show him how to swing him back.

[Ron]

Are you sure you're not left handed? You keep throwing like. It's like you're throwing it with your off hand. Just try it with the other hand. No, even worse. My God.

[Francis]

Oh, God. Yeah, but. So maybe that's why the show is so groundbreaking. That there hasn't just been stuff about. Is it about hockey or is it about being gay.

[Ron]

There? I mean, hockey is the canvas upon which they build the story. And it spans over the course of over 10 years, at least.

[Harry]

Oh, wow.

[Francis]

Really? If you guys were gay, what type of athlete would you go for?

[Ron]

Good question. Good question.

[Francis]

I guess I could say as a straight person, what kind of athletes would you be into? But it's more interesting. If you were gay, what kind of athlete would you go for? Because a lot of people think hockey is the hottest.

[Ron]

No, I wouldn't go for a hockey player. I would go for probably football or soccer. Probably soccer.

[Harry]

Football.

[Francis]

Football, I feel like has a lot of domestic violence. Football or football? Oh, yeah, football. That's. That's nice.

[Ron]

American football. But now that I think about it, soccer.

[Harry]

But if you were in a gay.

[Ron]

Relationship in American football, I'm sorry.

[Harry]

If you're in a gay relationship in American football, like, it's not like you're gonna be, like, on the sideline with, like, the wives of the team. You're hiding in a hotel room waiting for your guy to finish up the game like that. That wouldn't be like a public thing.

[Francis]

Just gooning to red zone.

[Harry]

Yeah. It's not like you're nine hours straight.

[Francis]

Of commercial free football.

[Harry]

Yeah. It's not like you're gonna be on the sideline with Cardi B and. And Michael.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Not yet. Not yet.

[Harry]

Not yet. Maybe in like a decade.

[Francis]

But there's more male cheerleaders.

[Ron]

True.

[Francis]

Like the Eagles game, there was like, multiple cheerleaders.

[Harry]

I'm not surprised.

[Ron]

There's that. There was that guy on the Raiders who was out, Carl something.

[Francis]

Nassib?

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Oh, I thought you were talking about the dude that got cut in the off season. No, I don't think he was gay.

[Francis]

No, he. He definitely. Christian Wilkinson.

[Ron]

He made the. The whole thing about that and him and got cut. But Carl Nassib just quietly, he was like, I'm gay. No big deal. And then everyone moved on.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Now, I can't speak for the locker room.

[Francis]

No, wasn't there. Wasn't there. I thought there was an instance of Carl Nassib. I don't forget where we talked about this. I don't think it was on here. But Carl Nassib, like, called someone before he came out. He called someone on the field the f slur. And they're like, come on, is that true? They're like, come on. We don't say that.

[Harry]

That's crazy.

[Ron]

Well, then I'd like to take this moment to tell you that I actually am allowed to say of the only people on this field that I can say, I can say it.

[Francis]

Yeah. But the dude on the Patriots, Christian Wilkinson, I don't know if you guys ever saw when he was on Clemson and they won the national championship, he fucking does a high leg kick, grabs it, and then falls into a split and starts twerk. I gotta find this video. It's like, well, fucking duh.

[Harry]

You don't.

[Francis]

You don't. Like, you're not just born knowing how to do that.

[Ron]

Christian Wilkinson. Yeah, and it's Christian Wilkinson out.

[Harry]

He's the one that got cut from the Raiders, right?

[Ron]

No.

[Francis]

Yes, he is. He's the one that this season got caught. Cut from the Raiders.

[Harry]

He was kissing dudes on the list.

[Francis]

Maybe they said he kissed someone on the forehead or something.

[Harry]

On the forehead.

[Francis]

Allegedly. But then nobody else signed him. Who's the guy he might have been finger popping? You sent it.

[Ron]

Who's the guy that you were talking about?

[Harry]

That's who I was talking about.

[Ron]

No, but a couple years ago, the black guy.

[Harry]

I gotta see this. That's crazy.

[Ron]

That was weirdly less gay than I thought.

[Harry]

It was less gay than I thought.

[Francis]

Really?

[Ron]

Because he.

[Harry]

Because he didn't really get the split.

[Ron]

I thought it would be more like cheerleader esque.

[Francis]

No, he nailed it.

[Harry]

I'm with Francis. I'm with Francis.

[Francis]

You said not gay on.

[Harry]

That's not gay. Not gay. That Sky's having fun.

[Ron]

Yeah, that's great. That's. We just won.

[Francis]

No, but in front of the whole team.

[Harry]

Not gay. Not gay. If he went. If that split was a little bit more defined, I would have said he's 320 pounds, but it was like his legs are like. They're like. You can tell it hurt a little bit, you know?

[Ron]

I completely agree.

[Harry]

Like, he got to.

[Ron]

He popped his.

[Francis]

Afterwards.

[Harry]

He was like, that was the last.

[Ron]

Game of the season. I'm gonna need some rehab in the IR from popping.

[Harry]

Yeah. I thought it was one of those ones where he just, you know, jumped and landed.

[Ron]

He fell into it.

[Francis]

Have you seen the dude? Zesty Sturdy or whatever his name is? I don't think he goes on. He went on. Could have been records. The Drew Ski Stream. But he gets like. He gets sturdy, like New York style, but is like the fucking gayest.

[Harry]

Oh, maybe I have seen him.

[Francis]

He's so funny.

[Ron]

I don't know what any of that meant. That Drew Ski Sturdy. What does that mean?

[Francis]

Tyler, can you find that one?

[Harry]

Maybe Zesty Sturdy.

[Francis]

Zesty Sturdy.

[Ron]

What does get sturdy mean?

[Harry]

It's like in New York, it's like.

[Francis]

Like the pop. Like how people dance to, like, pop smoke music. It's like type of. Type of dancing.

[Harry]

Yeah, it's like the. What's it called?

[Ron]

What's that one? What is that?

[Harry]

What's that one? You know what I'm doing.

[Francis]

What was it? Do it again. One more time.

[Harry]

The gritty. It's like the gritty. The gritty is like a version of getting sturdy.

[Francis]

No, gritty is like Louisiana. Sturdy is like a New York thing.

[Harry]

But when they're getting sturdy in New York, they're doing a little bit of a gritty.

[Ron]

Is it like crumping?

[Francis]

Yeah, I like crumping.

[Harry]

It's exactly like that.

[Ron]

It's like crumping.

[Francis]

Is that Zesty sturdy?

[Ron]

No.

[Francis]

Oh, this is just getting sturdy. This is just a tutorial on.

[Ron]

Oh, wow. Cool. That is cool. That's a little bit like Christian Wilkinson.

[Harry]

What's up, guys? Today we're talking about how to get sturdy. First thing you're going to need is a massive empty room.

[Francis]

What's the word? Buzzing.

[Ron]

I will say. I will say that my only issue with this. I love the auditions for Drew Ski, but the problem I have is that he. A lot of them are just people he hired to come try out comedians. Well, he's revealed. That's awesome.

[Francis]

It's so gay.

[Harry]

Did you guys see that?

[Ron]

Did you see the one. Did you see the one where his bodyguards started to carry the guy out and, like, rough him up? And she was like, wait, hang on, that's one of my guys. That's a comedian.

[Harry]

Oh, really?

[Ron]

And, like, tried to talk them off, which in itself is very funny. That he didn't warn his crew.

[Harry]

Security.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Ron]

That this was one of his plans.

[Harry]

That megachurch video that he did is insane. Did you see that?

[Ron]

I only saw the. The COVID of it.

[Harry]

It is crazy.

[Francis]

I only saw the COVID as well. I haven't really watched it.

[Harry]

Yeah, it's so good.

[Ron]

What's the. Who's the old. The running back for the Seahawks, Marshawn Lynch. Yeah. You know what I was thinking today on my way in? Was that the sweater that I wore in the last episode. That was a mistake. Um, and I'm really not happy about it. I really regret it. And I'll tell you, I walked out. Out of the studio because you guys were kind enough to not really say that much.

[Harry]

I'll be honest. It didn't look like that in person.

[Ron]

Yeah, it looks. It looks really bad.

[Harry]

In hindsight, the camera definitely highlights it. But when I was looking at you, I was like, I couldn't tell.

[Ron]

I look like I'm going to some club called Sweat.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Or Splash. Or Pulse. Yes.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Throb.

[Francis]

Yeah, Throb.

[Ron]

Vascularity. Yeah.

[Francis]

Hard. And there were people in the office that were making fun of.

[Ron]

That's the biggest problem.

[Francis]

That had no business making fun of him.

[Ron]

Well, this is my point is, you know when you get mocked by the content floor. Now, with a couple of exceptions, I'll say to. Not to chicks in the office. Kelly, maybe, whatever. But. But everyone down there dresses like they are fucking out of work.

[Francis]

Like everything was free.

[Ron]

Like, they are really just raiding that donation bin we have, and they're like, don't throw out that T shirt that was gifted, you know, from the coffee store or whatever. I'll wear that. That's new.

[Francis]

It was a lot of people with elastic around their ankles making fun of you.

[Ron]

Yeah, yeah. And they were mocking me. And like, Robbie Fox pulled up a picture of Ed Hardy, man wrestler, not the shirt maker.

[Harry]

Sting on you. Yeah. They were really photos.

[Ron]

Yeah, it was really bad.

[Francis]

No, that was a feeding frenzy, really.

[Ron]

Eye opening.

[Francis]

There was blood in the water. And they were gay.

[Ron]

Pat, who is the worst dressed gay man I've ever met, was like, I would never. And. And I'll tell you something, I thought of the Marshawn lynch line because, you know, I've been throwing myself out there, a lot of clothing, like, take some risks.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Ron]

And they're not. And I said to myself on the way in, I said, I'm going to get God, but I'm going to get mine more than I get got, though. Which is his famous quote.

[Harry]

Of course I remember.

[Ron]

Do you remember that?

[Francis]

So what did he say again?

[Ron]

He said, I'm going to get God, but I'm going to get mine more than I get got, though, though.

[Francis]

I think where you put the.

[Ron]

He said it differently. He said it in a way that didn't sound so second language.

[Francis]

He kind of does have a second language quality to his speech.

[Harry]

The goat Marshawn.

[Francis]

Like, he's struggling to read when he's just saying his thoughts out loud.

[Ron]

I'm gonna get mine, Mom. Go get mine. More than I get got, though.

[Francis]

That's good.

[Harry]

That's the way he said he was in that movie. He was in that movie with Rachel. Sanaa. What was it? The one that she made? Bottoms. Yeah. He was very funny in that, dude.

[Ron]

You know, the industry kind of tried to make him a funny guy.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Ron]

I never bought it.

[Harry]

He was pretty funny in that.

[Ron]

I'm happy to hear that. They were doing stuff with him and Conan playing video games. It never really landed for me.

[Francis]

Yeah, well, they're trying to, like, just pair him up. They're trying to make him, like, goofy by putting him with, like, an articulate white guy. White guy.

[Harry]

Yeah. They're like, look at this jacked black dude next to this, where it's like, he's like.

[Francis]

He's like black guy funny. Like, he'd be funny in a room full of black guys. Like, you don't have to, like, fish out of water him for him. For him to be funny.

[Ron]

Yeah, they really did try to do that.

[Francis]

But he's like an Oakland. He's like an Oakland. And they're like, oh, he. He eats Skittles. Isn't that funny. Like. Oh, Skittles.

[Harry]

Yeah, I eat Skittles. You're not alone. Marshawn.

[Francis]

Yeah, exactly. I stand with Marshawn, man.

[Harry]

They mash the two Skittles together.

[Ron]

Do I?

[Harry]

Classic.

[Ron]

Sometimes I'll take a whole handful and just gobble it all together.

[Harry]

Actually, I feel like I actually have seen you do that.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Do you think that that's deranged?

[Harry]

No, I don't.

[Ron]

Dude. Skittles. There was a. Some. Some dietary thing popped up that I saw where they evaluated the nutritional value of 20 different types of foods.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Ron]

And they said that the single food that they came up with that was the absolute worst for you, more than anything else, was Skittles.

[Harry]

Really?

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Harry]

That's surprising.

[Ron]

And they've added other candies and things like that. That. That was the per. You know, gram or whatever.

[Harry]

That's interesting, because I wonder when. When was that? Probably not that recent.

[Ron]

No, I think it was quite. What do you think they've added?

[Harry]

Well, I think that Celery formula. No, I'm just wondering because, like, Skittles. I feel like when I was younger, like, that was, like, my go to. Because that was like, this is the good sour. Like, but we didn't.

[Ron]

We didn't know any better. That's not. That's not.

[Harry]

No. But I mean, now the. That I eat is. It's got to be worse. Like, the candy that they're making now. Like, I would. I would consider Skittles to be, like, on the healthier side.

[Ron]

I don't think so, man.

[Harry]

Dude, the. That I'm eating is literally their formula.

[Ron]

They haven't changed their formula, but.

[Francis]

And Skittles is the densest goop. Like, everything is less dense goop.

[Harry]

It is dense.

[Francis]

Like a sour patch, kid.

[Ron]

My mouth is watering. Filled with fluid.

[Harry]

Like, I just have a. I just can't believe that Skittles are worse for you than, like, Jolly Rancher chews.

[Ron]

Yeah, they are. It's the. I almost think it's the granularity of a Skittle.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Where that just, to me feels like a tiny pod filled with absolute sugar.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

I would never. I'm never seeking out a Skittle.

[Ron]

I went through a Skittle phase, and then I thought, time to grow up. You can't be eating these as a snack.

[Harry]

Definitely not.

[Ron]

No.

[Harry]

I mean, I'm not, like, going to the store like, oh, shit, I got to go get some Skittles. Let me get out of here. I go through your shopping list again.

[Ron]

I became obsessed with the purple pack.

[Harry]

I don't know if. Is that the tropical one?

[Ron]

Blue one is the tropical.

[Harry]

That one even sucked.

[Ron]

Yeah, that was bad because they had a banana.

[Harry]

Yeah. Nasty.

[Ron]

But the purple one was just.

[Harry]

Oh, you know what was really good? I don't even know if they still make them. They had ones that you would put. You'd throw them in and they would like fizzle a little bit.

[Ron]

Never. I'm not a fizzle guy.

[Harry]

See, I like all of the gizmos and gadgets.

[Ron]

Like I need everything but fizz for me. I never liked pop rocks. I never liked Coca Cola flavored candy.

[Harry]

You don't like the gadget all. I'll take it all. I wonder if I want it fucking. I want there to be liquid on the inside.

[Ron]

Give me a refrigerated Reese's Spicy on.

[Harry]

The outside without a whole bunch of.

[Ron]

Defecate in the middle.

[Francis]

That's clean. The I heard and this could be true. Correct me if I'm wrong, fellas, but I heard that M&Ms. Were invented because snipers needed a candy that they could eat it in war times that weren't going to be sticky. Is that true?

[Ron]

This is one of those weird phenomena where phenomenon. No, it is phenomena phenomenons. Where. Where what? You saying that has made me think I've heard that before, but I don't have any idea if I've never heard that.

[Harry]

I thought that M M's were like the original candy and I think they.

[Francis]

Were like for snipers.

[Harry]

What were the candies prior to that that were like sticky as hell, Like Good and Plenty or like Baby Ruth's.

[Ron]

Good and Plenty came before.

[Francis]

Imagine eating a Baby Ruth bar while you're trying to snipe.

[Harry]

Yeah, that would be tough.

[Ron]

Good and Plenty was a candy that actually was used to tamp rifles in the Civil War. They're like actually wait a minute. These taste okay.

[Francis]

Good with the soot on the outside.

[Harry]

Most candy was actually made for self defense purposes in World War II.

[Francis]

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[Ron]

I can't.

[Francis]

She knew that I loved it. Huh.

[Ron]

I can't pull off Fred.

[Francis]

Really?

[Ron]

No. Some people can. You can.

[Francis]

I don't know if I can. I was nervous about it. But for Christmas, anybody can wear.

[Ron]

Yeah, There you go.

[Francis]

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[Ron]

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[Francis]

Who do you have of the last four teams? Do you have the Seahawks, the Rams, the Texans, or the Broncos going Seahawks?

[Ron]

Wait, what about the. Are you just predicting that that's the last four?

[Harry]

Wow, you're going to be wrong, way off.

[Ron]

You said Seahawks, Texans, Broncos and who?

[Francis]

Rams?

[Ron]

I don't know why I'm not like I'm thinking the fucking Texans can win the super bowl with their defense there.

[Francis]

It's it's amazing.

[Harry]

That's if they got through Drake May or not.

[Ron]

I wonder who the who's the favorite right now?

[Harry]

The Texans?

[Francis]

No, no, it's the Seahawks. Seahawks and Rams.

[Harry]

The Seahawks defense is really good, too. It's not as good as the Texans, but it's good.

[Francis]

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[Ron]

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[Harry]

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[Francis]

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[Harry]

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[Francis]

See DKNG Co Audio limited Time Offer God yeah. Hey guys, let's take a second and talk about Game Time. The Game Time app gives the advantage back to the fans. It is the hack for amazing tickets and experiences in just a few taps. It's incredibly easy to use, and the Game Time guarantee means that you can trust that you'll get 100 authentic tickets on time and at the best price. Plus fees are always included. So what you see is what you pay. I mean, it's so easy. Like say I want to go to, I wouldn't say an Eagles game, but they're not in it anymore. Say I wanted to go to a Patriots game. Well, they're to not going to play at home anymore either. Say I wanted to go to a Denver Broncos game and support Jared Stidham. All I would do is just go onto the app, click, click, click, boom, I'm in there. It's so few taps. It's so in easy to use. It's intuitive. That's the best way that I could put it. It's an intuitive experience that is truly the best in the game. Now you can save even more when you choose a section and let Game Time choose a seat. So it's like, like, okay, I want to be in 122 and you're with somebody and they're like, well, I Want to be 122. Snag the ticket deals before anybody else finds out by following your favorite teams in the GameTime app to receive alerts, which is great. So you could take the guesswork out of buying NFL tickets. With Game Time, all you have to do is download the Game Time app, create an account use code boydad for $20 off your first purchase terms of plus again create an account. Redeem code B O Y D a d for $20 off download the game Time app today. Okay guys, let's talk about every plate. Every plate is the affordable, low stress way to cook great meals while balancing work, social life and budgets. What you have to do when you're cooking is like is it going to be for me? Is it going to be for me and the wife? Is it going to be be like so much food that you have unlimited leftovers or you're going to be cooking the same thing that you've had every time because it's hard to master new meals. You don't have to worry about that anymore because this is a budget friendly meal kit that offers tons of flexibility whether you're cooking for yourself, your partner, your roommates, your friends. If you're Francis cooking for Harry, which will happen, which will happen this year and I'm sure he will use every plate because they have a rotating section of selection of craveable comfort forward dishes. For example crispy Buffalo Ranch chicken. Does that sound amazing to you? Caramelized Onion Smash burgers. Does that knock your socks off of your body up front? Everyday low pricing, no hidden fees or surprising. Plus pre portioned pre proportioned ingredients reduce mess, stress and food waste. 98 say every plate makes dinner planning less stressful. Try every plate and get 2.99 per meal in your first box. That's incredible. Plus free steak for a month. Go to everyplate.com podcast and use code Boydad Steak to claim your offer. That's Code boydad steak@every place.com podcast to get 2.99 per meal in your first box. Plus free steak for a month. Offer varies by plan. One free 10 ounce serving of steak per box for four weeks with active subscription. This the dinner time dilemmas with every plate. You know what's gross is nougat.

[Ron]

Yeah, I don't like nougat.

[Francis]

Who's it for? Is it for old people?

[Ron]

Yeah man.

[Francis]

Is it? Yeah, I know like Werther's Originals are classically for old people but I like that. I think they're good. But a nougat, that's nasty.

[Ron]

That's gross for no one. That's pretty gross.

[Francis]

You guys are going to Orlando?

[Ron]

Yes, we are.

[Harry]

Yep.

[Ron]

Did you see if you got upgraded?

[Harry]

Yeah, I don't think I did because I don't think I've checked in.

[Ron]

You're in 37C 37A I think. Wow.

[Harry]

Or F maybe I don't know.

[Ron]

That is really far back.

[Harry]

I haven't even been on a plane that has that many rows in a while.

[Ron]

That sucks, dude. I'm sorry to hear.

[Harry]

It's all good. I don't mind.

[Francis]

What are you doing there?

[Ron]

Are you giving me that?

[Harry]

What time is the flight?

[Ron]

I don't want it. I just was wondering if you were trying to sneak me something there.

[Harry]

What's that? Candy Sh.

[Ron]

Ginger chews.

[Harry]

Ginger chews?

[Ron]

Gingers. I like those.

[Harry]

Nasty. It'll settle your stuff for the tummy though.

[Francis]

Yeah, exactly. What do you mean nasty?

[Harry]

Not my thing.

[Francis]

It's a palliative, as my boy Francis would say.

[Ron]

Tell you what, hairball. You better get used to snacks of that ilk. Ilk. Because that's the basket they're gonna. That's what's gonna be left when they on 37A. Sir, all we have are these ginger chews. But we noticed you're a little nauseous because you're sitting next to the lavatory.

[Francis]

Someone traded in these ginger chews for some of the candy in there. They put the ginger chews in the basket. Are you in? Are you in 37?

[Ron]

I don't know exactly where I am yet. I got upgraded to premium economy, but I have not yet seen. I'm hoping for, you know, the big push. The big push. What.

[Harry]

What time is that flight?

[Ron]

5:55 out of LaGuardia. PM that's brutal.

[Francis]

On Sunday.

[Ron]

Right in the middle. Right at the end of the Patriots game.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

You're flying during the Patriots game?

[Harry]

No, I might have to push that back.

[Francis]

Fraud alert. Fraud fan.

[Harry]

We're not filming until. Until Monday, right? Yeah, might have to bomb on.

[Ron]

We could go later. But we.

[Francis]

7Amt time though.

[Ron]

The one after that would get us in at 10:30pm and you guys have.

[Francis]

To get a dinner while you're down there.

[Harry]

Is that the plan?

[Francis]

That Orlando culinary scene I heard is sublime.

[Ron]

Oh my God. We're staying in an A loft.

[Harry]

Really?

[Ron]

They're okay.

[Harry]

I'm not familiar.

[Ron]

You never stated in an A loft. No, I don't think I've been assigned to stay in them on road weekends from. From clubs.

[Harry]

No, I don't think I've ever been in one.

[Ron]

San Diego puts us. Put us in an A lock.

[Harry]

Oh, really? Solid. That was a solid one.

[Ron]

You have stayed in one.

[Harry]

If we were in San Francisco at San Diego. You said Diego. No, not me because I haven't done that club.

[Francis]

That was Brandon. That was definitely Brandon.

[Harry]

Yeah, no, a loft for me, unfortunately.

[Francis]

Where are you staying? Oh, you're staying in the 4C.

[Harry]

They got me. They got me on the course tent.

[Ron]

Sting in the Caddy shack.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Harry]

Just sleep here. Tea times early enough. It's only a couple hours outside.

[Francis]

I heard the. Yeah, I heard you're staying at the Polynesian resort at Disney World in Epcot. Yeah. The Magic Kingdom Castle.

[Ron]

By the way, the Bills are favored by a point and a half at Denver.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Ron]

And I think that is outrageous.

[Harry]

Oh, I don't.

[Ron]

I'm betting Denver all day.

[Harry]

Oh, really?

[Francis]

Well, this will already be out, Drew.

[Ron]

Great. I stand on business, as Marshawn lynch would say, though.

[Harry]

I stand on business, though.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Stand on business, though. That'll be nice to be down in Orlando. I like the downtown.

[Ron]

Do you? Oh, yeah.

[Harry]

That's a great.

[Ron]

I don't know a whole lot about Orlando, man.

[Francis]

I heard the 4C. I heard it. The pro family travel move. Because obviously I'm looking into this as you stay at the Four Seasons in Orlando if you're going to Disney World.

[Ron]

That makes sense.

[Harry]

Ship on in for Disney.

[Ron]

I would say 99.9 of the people who visit Disney World cannot afford the Four Seasons season.

[Francis]

I think that's got to be the differentiator.

[Ron]

Yeah. So therefore, I would guess that the Four Seasons is probably not that expensive.

[Francis]

I heard it's.

[Harry]

I heard it's pricey.

[Francis]

I heard it's a nice family resort. Like a top tier family resort.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

How old do you think I could take my boys to Disney World? And Francis, would you like to come?

[Ron]

I'm coming. And thank you. And I think we should probably wait until they're what, four?

[Harry]

Four is almost too old.

[Francis]

Three. Two is too young. It's got to be three then.

[Ron]

This is how I remember. I remember going to Disney World when I was a kid with my family. And this is how I know we weren't always wealthy. I remember very distinctly the room that we had.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Ron]

In our hotel.

[Francis]

Where was it? Grand Floridian.

[Ron]

I don't know what it was, but the bed was a Murphy bed. I'd never seen that before. And I remember my parents pulling it down out of the wall and they were a little upset that that were. There were cigarette burns in the bedding.

[Francis]

That's so insane.

[Ron]

That's where we stayed, all four of us when we went to Disney World.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

That's fucking nuts. Moms used to love to. To find something wrong with the hotel room.

[Ron]

Really?

[Harry]

I feel like dad.

[Francis]

Huh.

[Harry]

My dad used to get in like brawls with the hotel Staff for like an hour. Like we would get to the hotel and you just go straight to the lobby and sit down because you're like, there's no way. We're just checking in and going to the room. That hasn't happened once. Instead it's my dad just like facing off with the guy working the desk for an hour and a half.

[Francis]

My mom still talks about a face off she had in turns and Caicos with somebody. She faced off about the room that we had. She literally has brought it up twice in the last calendar year about how she like, yeah, got us upgraded room. It wasn't good enough. I said, we're not staying here.

[Harry]

That's what my mom. My parents would always do that. And I would always be like, why does it matter? Like, who gives a fuck?

[Francis]

Or why'd you book it? Why did you book this if it's not good enough for you?

[Harry]

Yeah, they'd be like, well, they said there was going to be a view and there's no view. Yeah, you'll understand when you're older. You spend a lot of money on things like this.

[Francis]

We came to New York for my grandmom's funeral and we went to a hotel and there was cigarette burns in one of the chairs. And so we all had to pack our things and go to a different hotel. It was like a multi room suite.

[Ron]

We ate it. When we were a family, this is what we dealt with. We accepted that that was the way things were. Which is why now you cannot handle flying coach and I can.

[Harry]

Not even close.

[Ron]

I was born in the darkness. I was born among. I was raised among cigarette burned sheets at Disney. Sheets with holes in them.

[Harry]

When I was.

[Francis]

See what I'm saying? She's with holes.

[Ron]

I do sheets with holes, Harry.

[Francis]

And not the KKK kind.

[Harry]

No, no, not the eye holes.

[Francis]

Way different ones. Yeah, I gotta get down to Disney World, but you guys should stop by. I've been to Disney World twice as an adult. It's pretty nice.

[Harry]

I think I've only been or maybe I've been twice because I went one time when I was like older. I don't really remember.

[Ron]

I'm not gonna go to Disney World.

[Harry]

Yeah, I'm not a big Disney guy.

[Francis]

Gross.

[Ron]

I'd rather go to Italy.

[Harry]

Well, why don't you go to.

[Francis]

We're gonna be in Orlando.

[Ron]

Oh, you mean this week?

[Francis]

Yeah, it's a business trip.

[Ron]

We're in and out. I don't spend any more time in Orlando than I have to. I don't have a Problem saying that because I don't think they have a comedy club there.

[Harry]

Can't you go to Italy in Disney?

[Francis]

You can.

[Harry]

I think I've been.

[Francis]

It's very nice. It's better than the real Italy.

[Harry]

It's way better.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Because you can get to Germany like that.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Did I ever tell you guys?

[Harry]

It's like literally the next door over.

[Ron]

We were. I think we were somewhere in Florida, probably close to Orlando. And I was in seventh grade and I had a girlfriend. Sheesh.

[Harry]

Damn ruthless.

[Ron]

And I was. I was young enough that I was embarrassed about it.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Ron]

But she was cute. She was a gymnast.

[Harry]

Really?

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Harry]

I think all girls in seventh grade are gymnasts.

[Ron]

She was good. She could do. She could. She could tumble on. On. On grass.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Ron]

She could do like seven back handsprings into a backflip.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Ron]

She's going somewhere.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Didn't go anywhere.

[Francis]

She probably just, like, grew to be 5 foot 2. And they're like, she's too big.

[Ron]

She was quite short, but I bought her as a gift because it was over Valentine's Day that I was down there, and I came back and I bought her as a gift a gigantic lollipop. One of those. The size of a Frisbee, of course.

[Harry]

Colorful, tough to travel with.

[Ron]

And she brought me. She bought me a wallet.

[Harry]

Wow.

[Ron]

Inside of which she put a photo of herself.

[Harry]

Wow.

[Ron]

Which.

[Harry]

Very mature.

[Ron]

Really made my lollipop look silly. Shit. Yeah. But years later, she was killed.

[Harry]

Oh, shit.

[Ron]

Swear to God. What? Yeah. Yeah.

[Francis]

I'm waiting for, like a punchline.

[Ron]

No, there's no punchline. She was. It was really strange. She was in Atlanta and she. She was a chef, and she was dating a chef, and they lived together and they were killed in their home with guns.

[Francis]

By whom?

[Ron]

I don't know. I don't know.

[Francis]

Sounds like that Austin Butler movie.

[Ron]

I never learned that. I never learned much about this story. I mean, you know, it didn't work out for us in seventh grade, so I'm trying not to laugh. Oh, my God. We didn't keep in touch after that because it ended.

[Francis]

I don't think I know this movie.

[Harry]

Is it a movie? I don't even know.

[Francis]

There's no movie.

[Ron]

This is a true fucking story.

[Francis]

It is a movie. Boy who Cried Wolf.

[Ron]

I almost want to tell you her name because it would. You could look up the news story. People will probably figure this out.

[Francis]

I'm racking my brain to see what.

[Ron]

Movie I'm not making. No word of a lie.

[Harry]

It's going to be Tough to find.

[Ron]

No word of a lie. And. And. And I never heard what. How that was resolved or why. And it was one of those things where I was like, did she fall into bad probably times? Why? Or was this just, like a freak, you know, robbery gone wrong or something like that?

[Harry]

How often does that really happen, that someone is robbed and then they're killed?

[Ron]

Probably more often than you'd think.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Yeah. That's what like, living in a bad area means. Yeah, that's what happens.

[Francis]

I don't think robbers want to kill, though.

[Harry]

No.

[Francis]

I feel like if you're.

[Harry]

If they just want.

[Francis]

If you have a propensity to kill, kill. Just become a killer.

[Harry]

Yeah, just kill.

[Francis]

Just be a killer. You don't have to do, like, the rob.

[Harry]

Well, I think once you kill, you're no longer a robber. Now you're just a killer.

[Ron]

Yeah, but this is why you.

[Harry]

You.

[Ron]

You're assuming that most robbers bring guns simply to threaten people into submission so they can safely take their stuff. I think that.

[Harry]

I don't think they want to.

[Ron]

I think there's a lot of crossover between robbers and killers.

[Francis]

Carjackers. I could see someone. If someone gets smart with their mouth.

[Harry]

Most robbers are. Are typically young. It's true.

[Ron]

Is that so?

[Harry]

Most like breaking? Yeah, most breaking. Usually like, people like their tennis. Yeah, it's usually they're like 18 to early 20s.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Harry]

And.

[Francis]

And usually it's younger than 18. You don't wait till 18 to start robbing. I'm finally old enough to rob.

[Harry]

Yeah, that is true. So it'd be younger than 18. And then apparently it's also like a large percentage of the time, it's like someone that you know, like, in your neighborhood.

[Ron]

Yeah, yeah, I've heard that. I've heard that.

[Francis]

The case, the joint. Well, I'm sorry about your friends.

[Ron]

No, it was strange. I was her first kiss.

[Francis]

But she wasn't yours.

[Ron]

No way, Jose.

[Harry]

It's crazy.

[Francis]

That is fucking.

[Ron]

Not that she was long after mine, but. But, you know, I've been around.

[Francis]

What was the. How. How long ago was.

[Harry]

Was today this morning?

[Ron]

I'm gonna look that up. I'm gonna look it up.

[Francis]

I'm trying to be sensitive and not.

[Ron]

Oh, my phone's bricked up right now. I forgot to unbrick my phone. I can't look anything up. You can't even use Can't.

[Harry]

You can't go on safari. Oh, dude, that's not one of the ones that you can lock.

[Francis]

I had to.

[Ron]

I had to. That safari is a back way into every one of your apps. You can theoretically go on ebay and Etsy and Instagram. Ebay on. This is the problem. It's not even so much using my phone. It's spending money online. You can go online journal. Yeah.

[Harry]

You gotta have like. You might need, like to get put in like a Britney Spears situation.

[Francis]

Like a conservatorship.

[Harry]

Yeah. Someone just takes over.

[Francis]

I'll hold your phone.

[Ron]

Phone. Yeah. Yeah, I could hear.

[Francis]

I'll put out content about you.

[Ron]

I'd like that.

[Francis]

Francis is just secretly dancing and giving out clues to the comment sections, trying to escape from his conservatorship.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Wear blue. Next video if you're in trouble.

[Ron]

Francis hasn't blinked in 20 minutes. What's he telling us?

[Francis]

Poor gal.

[Ron]

No. Yeah.

[Francis]

Do you think?

[Ron]

I don't know. She must probably killed like. Like 10 years ago now. Yeah, I think she was in her mid-20s, early 20s.

[Francis]

You think the lollipop had anything to do with it?

[Ron]

No, I don't think so.

[Harry]

Apparently that's the only thing that was left behind was a full lollipop unlicked.

[Francis]

Or a melted lollipop that she got stabbed with. Just kidding.

[Ron]

No, I. I don't have a whole lot of connection to this, but it is a true story.

[Francis]

I mean, you were her first kiss. You have the most connections. You get three loves in your life and she was one of them.

[Ron]

I did. I was quite fond of her.

[Francis]

How did things break off?

[Ron]

I don't know. You know, you just date. Like you go out with a new girl. The next week you're going out with someone else through you break.

[Harry]

Sounds like someone on the fast crowd.

[Ron]

I am. You would. We would break up on AOL instant messenger and then you'd break up so that you could. Could go out with someone else.

[Francis]

You give a reason on the breakup. Why'd you break up with her?

[Ron]

I was like, I feel like you're heading in the wrong direction.

[Francis]

I feel like you can't cook.

[Ron]

You're. Yeah. You're like, I'll show. Going down a dark path. I just sense you're probably gonna move to Atlanta at some point.

[Harry]

I can't go to Atlanta from Maine.

[Francis]

I don't really like rap that much. I can't go to Atlanta, though. I do like Ludacris, Gucci and outcast Gucci.

[Ron]

Big then Gucci mane.

[Harry]

Or I guess 10 years ago.

[Ron]

He wasn't out. No. Well, growing up. Up. What. What time. What part of the story are you putting us in here?

[Harry]

I don't really Know, I don't know.

[Ron]

Because we were talking about seventh grade. Well. Which was probably the peak of my powers. Things only went down from there.

[Harry]

Was Gucci. When was Gucci the biggest? Because I knew Gucci when he went to jail.

[Ron]

You knew him like 2004.

[Francis]

Ish. Was a big Gucci main year.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Ron]

We had Yard Fest, spring of my freshman year in college, and Wale opened for Kid Cudi and someone in the crowd had a free Gucci mane sign up. And Wally started laughing. Why? He's like, I didn't expect to see someone with a free Gucci mane sign at the Harvard concert.

[Harry]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Ron]

It was some white kid. You know, it's like nothing more.

[Francis]

Yeah. Better than ironically liking rap or ironically saying free Gucci mane. Like, do you think they really meant free? They really wanted free Gucci mane?

[Ron]

I think that that person was taking the piss.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Ron]

A little bit.

[Harry]

Gucci.

[Francis]

Very funny.

[Harry]

Gucci had a troubled past. You know Gucci and Waka Flocka are cousins. Yeah, of course.

[Ron]

I did know.

[Harry]

It's a common fact. Should have known, you boys.

[Francis]

I don't think I knew that.

[Harry]

And not. And not cousins. They're cousins.

[Francis]

What do you mean?

[Harry]

You know what I mean. They're related by blood. By blood.

[Ron]

What would the other meaning have found?

[Harry]

That's how the dude says it in the. In the Vice documentary. There's like a Vice documentary about Gucci mane and he's like. A lot of people don't know that Gucci Mane and Walk a Flock of Flame are cousins and not cousins. Really. Cousins to the last.

[Ron]

The last two minutes have just been. You regurgitating a bit. A documentary as though it was a bit.

[Harry]

No.

[Ron]

You just took that. What you said word for word.

[Harry]

Oh, that they're not cousins.

[Ron]

You're like. A lot of people don't know this.

[Harry]

Yes. Yeah. Spot on. You nailed it.

[Ron]

Actually. Pretty funny. To quote a documentary. It's a great. To make it a bit.

[Harry]

You guys should watch that doc. There's one on.

[Ron]

I will. I'm compelled.

[Harry]

It's super good. There's one on Gucci Mane and then there's one on Chief Keef as well. The Chief Keef one's pretty good. The Chief Keef one's pretty funny because he's, like, dumb. Yeah. Autistic.

[Ron]

Gucci mane has an ice cream cone on his face. He had a big beef with Meek Mill Gucci. Yeah.

[Harry]

Did he?

[Ron]

He had a beef with someone who made fun of the fact that he had an ice cream cone on his face.

[Francis]

I mean, it is pretty, but he's, he's so tough that it's like, yeah, if you weren't tough, you couldn't have an ice cream cone on your face.

[Ron]

I saw him at Game 6 of the NBA Finals. Or actually was this, was this jacked.

[Harry]

Gucci or fat Gucci?

[Ron]

He looked pretty good post prison.

[Harry]

He's ripped.

[Ron]

He had a bracelet on that had more diamonds and was more brilliant than anything I'd ever seen in terms of jewelry.

[Francis]

And you went to Harvard.

[Ron]

But he was, he was in the second row of courtside, which felt like a slap in the face a little bit.

[Francis]

Yeah, well, just like two fewer diamonds and you're in the first row.

[Ron]

You know who was courtside? Courtside was Waka Flocka, G. Eazy because it was Celtics against the.

[Harry]

That feels racist Warriors. How are you going to throw G. Eazy on in front row but not Gucci?

[Ron]

Well, I think G. Eazy had put out more relevant music that made more money at that moment than Gucci mane. My favorite Gucci Mane song is Met Gala Fitter to me. I got the ice on the wrist. You know, that's my favorite Gucci.

[Harry]

I like, I, I, I, I liked his, the album that he put out after he went to jail. When he got back, when he got back from prison, that was.

[Francis]

You look like Gucci mane a little bit.

[Harry]

You got a little Gucci in you.

[Ron]

No one's ever said that. Yeah.

[Francis]

Wait, put ice cream cone tattoo. Yeah, just hold up an ice cream cone, see if you really look like him. He's probably pretty handsome Gucci. Yeah, he's a handsome guy.

[Harry]

Definitely.

[Francis]

Don't you think? Powerful too.

[Harry]

Apparently he killed a prostitute.

[Ron]

If I were to get ice cream tattooed on my face.

[Harry]

It'S true.

[Francis]

Conversation so ridiculous.

[Ron]

I'd get a pint of, of dairy free vegan Van Leeuwens ice cream.

[Francis]

Or like the Talenti had it on my face. The Talenti gelato.

[Harry]

I would get Ben and Jerry's, the Fallon one. And I would get the whole, I would get the whole label on my face.

[Ron]

The Tonight dough. Really?

[Harry]

Tonight though, you get that.

[Ron]

That sucks, man.

[Francis]

Anything with cookie dough is good.

[Ron]

I don't understand how that has become the Ben and Jerry's flavor that is the most ubiquitous. I don't get it.

[Francis]

I don't know.

[Harry]

Making a lot of money from that.

[Ron]

Yes.

[Francis]

Yeah. He's printing money.

[Ron]

Ben and Jerry's is everywhere.

[Harry]

Yeah, I know, but I mean, like, do you think he gets a, like a good chunk of that?

[Ron]

His face is on the fucking carton.

[Harry]

That's great. But no one's buying it because of him.

[Francis]

Doesn't matter.

[Harry]

You're buying it because more people are.

[Ron]

Buying that because of him than you'd think.

[Harry]

Maybe. I think they gave. I think he just got. He. He got the. He got the best flavor. He lucked out.

[Ron]

No, I mean Stephen Colbert has one as well.

[Harry]

No one's buying that, Lib.

[Ron]

I wouldn't think so.

[Francis]

I mean there's not a More and beanless vanilla.

[Harry]

Yeah, true. Ben and Jerry's is super lib Vermont.

[Francis]

Yeah, but didn't they break up because like one. One of them wasn't liberal enough for the other or something like that? Maybe I'm thinking of Tenacious D. You might be.

[Ron]

Might be thinking of Simon and Garfunkel. No, you're right, it is Tenacious D. Tenacity and Garfield.

[Francis]

Something happened with the Ben and Jerry's guys.

[Harry]

With Ben and Jerry?

[Francis]

Yeah. It's tough that these brothers are breaking up over a political ideology.

[Harry]

One of them moved to Atlanta with some girl from Maine like 10 years ago.

[Ron]

I feel bad. I mean I don't think anyone giggle through it. Only because I couldn't stop looking at his face. And he was. I couldn't.

[Harry]

Because I couldn't tell if he was real or not.

[Ron]

I couldn't stop. I mean it was. I know it's an abrupt left turn that I took.

[Francis]

Everybody's just like.

[Ron]

That is what happened.

[Francis]

Then what happened.

[Ron]

And it was an unbelievably short shocking thing.

[Harry]

No, it sounds. I would be shocked too.

[Ron]

That was probably the. The person in my life that I don't know. I guess romantically I was the most involved with who has been. Who has died.

[Harry]

Yeah, that would make sense.

[Francis]

And you're the kind of guy laughs at a funeral.

[Ron]

No, can't understand But I know that you soon will.

[Francis]

Is that the rest of that can't understand what I mean you soon will.

[Ron]

That's what it is.

[Francis]

I'm the kind of guy that wears my mind almost leave. I have a strip taking off my shirt.

[Ron]

It's been.

[Francis]

You don't know that song.

[Ron]

One week since you looked at me.

[Francis]

You don't know Chickadee China the Chinese chicken. Have a drumstick.

[Ron]

Rain starts clicking Watch the next files with the lights on.

[Francis]

That's early Gucci mane. Yeah.

[Harry]

No, I can't say I've heard that one.

[Francis]

Gucci Mane and Blues Traveler.

[Ron]

He actually used to spell it. M A I N E. Small town guy before he moved to Atlanta.

[Harry]

Before he stole your girl and moved to Atlanta.

[Ron]

Yeah, no, before he killed my girl in Atlanta.

[Francis]

Wait, didn't you say. What? Did he kill a prostitute?

[Harry]

Apparently. Yeah, that's what they say. They say that together. There's like. Apparently something happened or he had a prostitute. Yeah. And then he killed her. Yeah. I don't know. Buried. I think he buried her outside.

[Francis]

Jesus Christ. Yeah, burying someone is. Yeah, just cut him up and dissolve them, you know?

[Harry]

Yeah, exactly.

[Francis]

Burying is asking to get caught.

[Harry]

I know. A shallow grave.

[Francis]

Shallow grave is so crazy.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

You gotta bury him under someone else that died.

[Harry]

Yeah, that's a good idea.

[Francis]

So then the cops find the first one.

[Harry]

Yeah. Like, oh, there's nothing here.

[Francis]

It's like. No, no, no.

[Harry]

A deep breath.

[Francis]

Eight feet deep. No one thinks you go eight feet. That's where it stops.

[Ron]

I'm fairly sure the espresso machine I purchased can actually dissolve a body. Probably has a dual boiler system.

[Harry]

Oh, yeah.

[Ron]

And the cleaning tablets are said to go through bone like butter.

[Francis]

So if we ever hear Huey Lewis on the news blasting from Francis's apartment, we know that some poor hooker goes through like butter.

[Harry]

That's not good. I feel like that shouldn't be sold if anything. That goes through the bone like butter.

[Ron]

That's from Snatch.

[Harry]

Snatch through like butter.

[Ron]

He goes. They can go through bone like butter.

[Francis]

That's what he's talking about.

[Ron]

Like feeding the hogs. Yeah, he's feeding the people to the hogs.

[Harry]

These are. It sounds like, like, do your guys knives that you got, are they. Those go through. Bound like butter.

[Francis]

They're actually like. I don't even like looking at them. It's so scary to have around.

[Ron]

Does it have that? Does it have that? Sort of, sort of. It all comes down pattern on the blade. Is it almost striated or something?

[Francis]

I have one that. The last one I had is a bit dappled. These ones are less dappled.

[Harry]

Is there any cool design? Like, is there like a dragon on the big one or what are we talking?

[Francis]

I think so. I'll take some pictures and stuff.

[Harry]

There is.

[Francis]

I mean, there's Japanese characters. Characters.

[Ron]

Are you cooking so much that you have gotten into?

[Harry]

You got anime knives.

[Francis]

I'm cooking a bit.

[Ron]

That's awesome.

[Harry]

You have like Naruto on them.

[Ron]

By the way. For our next.

[Harry]

The Death Note logo on your steak.

[Francis]

Dragon Ball Z on my steak knife.

[Harry]

Yeah. These are real. They're Japanese.

[Ron]

They are.

[Francis]

This is ash from Pokemon. For our next one.

[Ron]

What? Steak off. I want to just have Harry and I want Us to just compete. Cooking a batch of rice, Something that simple. I want it to be that simple. Who can cook rice better?

[Harry]

I'll just bring a rice cooker.

[Ron]

I don't think you can do that.

[Francis]

You think it's cuz it's unfair or do you think he's unable?

[Ron]

You got to go the acoustic way.

[Francis]

What, on a stove top?

[Harry]

Yeah. I've never done that.

[Francis]

I made. I made rice on the stove yesterday.

[Ron]

I just made a bunch today.

[Francis]

I made some dirty rice last night.

[Ron]

What is that, Daddy?

[Francis]

Kind of has like a little Cajun spice to it.

[Ron]

Oh, that's awesome.

[Francis]

It's not quite jumbalaya. Some jumbo. Not quite a gumbo or jumbalayo, but it get the job done.

[Harry]

Are you good at cooking?

[Francis]

No.

[Harry]

Yeah, I didn't think so.

[Ron]

He's lying.

[Harry]

About the jambalaya?

[Ron]

No, about being good. He's definitely good at cooking? No, he's being the roan, humble guy who kind of does this. You are a Clark Kent figure.

[Francis]

Oh, yeah, you are. I'm actually Superman.

[Ron]

You hide, topple.

[Harry]

What's your top dish?

[Francis]

I don't have a top dish.

[Harry]

Exactly.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Harry]

What can you. What are you best at cooking?

[Francis]

Nothing. I'm not that good.

[Harry]

Nothing?

[Ron]

Nothing.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Ron knows that. Presenting himself as an everyman.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Instead of shows, you know, he's like.

[Harry]

I do a mean eggs Benedict.

[Ron]

Keeps him. Keeps him ahead. And then out of nowhere, he raps in his Lexus on the way to the Phil the Eagles game. And you're like, what in the absolute. When did you come up with that? When did you write that?

[Francis]

Yeah, that's old. It's just been in there.

[Ron]

Yes. Just. No, Just kicking around.

[Francis]

Just rattling around in the old. The old brain, the old think tank. But I am trying to cook more just because if you want to have the things that you want, like I can't go out to restaurants. Like my kids will just grab everything off the table. So it's like if I want the things I could get from a restaurant, like I need to be able to make that at home.

[Ron]

Will you be cooking for your boys a lot? Once. Once they're really eating.

[Francis]

They're eating now. They were eating salmon and butternut squash last night.

[Ron]

Jesus Christ.

[Harry]

Really?

[Francis]

Yeah. But then once.

[Harry]

How were the reactions?

[Francis]

The one is. One of them's. Wes will eat anything. Finn just like. He like shuddered.

[Harry]

Butternut squash at Juan.

[Francis]

Not even one.

[Ron]

Remind me which one my friend is.

[Francis]

Is Wes.

[Ron]

Wes is my friend. Yeah.

[Francis]

And he's like you. He'll Just he can put down like, he'll eat an entire butternut squash.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Soup to butternuts.

[Harry]

What are the serving sizes look like? I'm imagining like you, your wife and your kids sitting down and they. Everyone has like the equal serving sizes. Like a porterhouse just hammering down a cut of salmon.

[Francis]

They like a. Like a 14 ounce New York strip.

[Ron]

Yeah, those boys will go through bone like butter.

[Francis]

They're like a boning ribeye.

[Ron]

They.

[Francis]

The boning like, but I fed that.

[Ron]

Hooker to Ron's twins.

[Francis]

Elliot, Anything wrong?

[Ron]

Bad news. It happened again. Get him over here.

[Francis]

Send them over. Just chop them up. Fine.

[Ron]

Just remind me what the rate is now.

[Francis]

Yeah, they love it. I mean, they'll crush waffles. They like, you know, they eat a lot of. A lot of. Like that. It's nice to have. Just.

[Harry]

I didn't know kids that age ate, like, real food. I thought it was just like, you.

[Francis]

Have to get them started eating or else they'll wind up. They'll grow up to be like chicken nuggets.

[Ron]

Kids.

[Harry]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[Francis]

They like watermelon a lot, but, you know, we gotta just try them on some. They have the craziest kid kid food now. It's like they're just eating like puffs. Like, they're basically eating like cheese.

[Harry]

Cereal. Yeah, it's like cereal constantly.

[Francis]

It's nice. They just put some of that shit out.

[Ron]

What about baby food?

[Francis]

It's not as much. Baby food's that gross and they know.

[Ron]

It, you know, so the world has moved away from baby food.

[Francis]

It's still there. You could still buy it. But like, we bought like the beef paste baby food, and it's like, foul. It's just like a paste in a glass jar. Give it to him a little bit. Or like, there's a squeezy one.

[Ron]

I was thinking more like apple saucy.

[Francis]

Stuff they do, but I think that that's. That's the stuff that's really making them shudder. He's like, what the is this?

[Ron]

Oh, wow.

[Harry]

Where's the salmon?

[Francis]

Yeah, I need something Atlantic. I need something fresh.

[Ron]

Do they have teeth yet?

[Harry]

It sounds like they've got all of them.

[Francis]

One has six teeth and the other has two. Huh.

[Harry]

Tonight we're doing spaghetti and meatballs.

[Ron]

Actually.

[Francis]

Tonight we're gonna make the carbone spicy rigatoni.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Penny. Al.

[Harry]

Vodka for the boys.

[Francis]

They like a little kick to it, though.

[Ron]

It's Wes's birthday, so. Well, it's both of their birthday.

[Harry]

Likes Indian. We're doing vindaloo.

[Ron]

Medium spice.

[Francis]

They're out of bay leaf, so, know. Looking for a substitute.

[Harry]

Wes loves vindaloo.

[Ron]

It's gonna be a four on the Scoville scale.

[Francis]

It is nice to get. To get Indian food or to. Or like, make some. Something with like, a sauce or something like that. Because, like, they. They'll go to town on. On the sauce. Yeah, they're just crushing a sauce lasagna this past. Some homemade lasagna. They're just crushing the sauce.

[Ron]

So they're not doing breast milk at all anymore.

[Francis]

They're on a. For a regular. A formula.

[Ron]

Right. Okay.

[Francis]

A formula, I say.

[Harry]

Right.

[Ron]

Like that. I don't.

[Francis]

I don't know. Yeah, they're on no explode.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Harry]

You got them on creatine yet?

[Francis]

Yeah, they're on Jack 3D, one part Phoenix, two parts. I want them growing. Your dad's making you protein. Shakespeare saw a clip of Brendan Schaub saying that.

[Harry]

Really?

[Francis]

Brendan Schaub said that he was driving with his kid and that. He said he told his kid. He was like, you know, one day I'm gonna die, and you're gonna be sad. He said his kids started crying. He's like, are the other kids dads making them protein shakes? This is all in one clip? In a very short clip. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I guess I gotta let him know. I gotta. I guess I gotta let them know about mortality.

[Harry]

Early dropping the kids off at school, and you got to tell the teacher, like, you just got to shake the bottle every 30 minutes so the protein will stick to the bottom.

[Francis]

He doesn't like it stirred. He likes it shaking and frothy.

[Harry]

You got one of those spring balls in your kids drink?

[Ron]

Declump.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Francis]

You can stir enough where you don't need the spring ball.

[Harry]

The spring ball works.

[Francis]

I don't know. I've gotten clumps in my spring ball.

[Harry]

You can't. You can get clumps in the spring ball, but I feel like the clumps, they stick to the spring ball. Ball, making it so that you don't.

[Ron]

Get a lot of clocks. You guys aren't shaking hard enough.

[Harry]

Are you a spring ball guy?

[Ron]

I was.

[Harry]

Problem is, I lose the spring ball.

[Ron]

I used to crush in Durox.

[Harry]

Really?

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Francis]

It's crazy. Anything that ends in an X is insane.

[Ron]

Durox was. Was the recovery.

[Harry]

I was big on Jocko Fuel.

[Francis]

Serious Jocko Willinks.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Jocko Fuel. It was good. I mean, that worked.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Ron]

That's where you really perk up from the hours of 1am till 5 in case there's raid plan.

[Harry]

That was. I think that was the closest thing I've ever done to steroids.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

You wake up the next morning stronger than you were.

[Francis]

Like, when did I tunnel out of my apartment? Yeah, I remember digging this some jocko fuel.

[Harry]

I might have to pick up some more.

[Francis]

I might have to top tap into his show.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And listen, get some leadership tips.

[Ron]

Do you have any use for a serious knife, like a hunting knife or a. A sort of a tool knife of any kind?

[Harry]

I got, I bought myself, or I got, I bought myself a nice L.L. bean Blade years back when I was like getting into fishing and I was like, it's gonna be good. Like I'll bring this. Like I bring it when we go to Wyoming and stuff. I think it's only ever been used to cut open boxes. Like Amazon packages.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Which is disrespectful to your good blade.

[Harry]

It's disrespectful to the blade. It's never seen, it's never even seen like grass, the dirt, anything. It's never, it's never filet of fish.

[Francis]

You have to respect your blades.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Like these new Swedish blades I got, my wife was like trying to use them to like cut pasta. I was like, don't. You fucking. Don't do that.

[Ron]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Francis]

You just save it for a snake.

[Ron]

Wait, which are better, the Japanese ones or the Swedish ones?

[Francis]

Well, they're just different. Like the Swedish ones are for like eating and the Japanese ones are.

[Ron]

Oh, you have nice tableware.

[Francis]

These are. Yeah, it's like steak. Steakish table.

[Ron]

That's awesome, dude. Really lacking.

[Harry]

When you eat dinner, do you and your wife, like, when you got, do you guys sit on like opposite ends of the table? I imagine like a 50 foot gap between you guys on both sides of the table. Why? How are you enjoying your meal?

[Francis]

It's not like that big ass table we do. I mean we have a, a regular sized table.

[Ron]

They don't live in a cathedral.

[Francis]

You've, you've been to my apartment and seen my table.

[Harry]

It's a cathedral.

[Francis]

I think you've eaten out. You might have eaten at my table.

[Harry]

Pass the salt. Like you're curling plates and play shuffleboard on it.

[Francis]

Yeah, there's just sand on my table so it can slide easier.

[Ron]

I'm trying to think.

[Francis]

You've been to that table, you sat, you've eaten at that table. It's a normal sized table.

[Harry]

I had Papa John's at that table.

[Francis]

I'VE done Papa John's since then.

[Harry]

Padre Juan for our special Juan.

[Ron]

Padre Juan's.

[Francis]

I need some Padre Juans. I wonder if the Mexican bros like pizza as much as we do or they just have enough in their cuisine where it's like, yeah, we can just remix beans and tortillas forever. We never even have to get to pizza.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

I don't know.

[Ron]

Did you see the Quigs edit of us in Spanish?

[Harry]

No.

[Ron]

He must have aied our voices.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Into Spanish translations of a clip.

[Harry]

I gotta see that.

[Ron]

It was very funny.

[Harry]

Sounds funny.

[Ron]

And then there's subtitles and I'm laughing and it's Jaja.

[Harry]

That's Quigs. That's the Quigs touch.

[Francis]

I, I got it right here.

[Ron]

Once he gets his hands on something, you know it's going to be good.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Because your v.

[Harry]

Have to learn Spanish and just go full espanol for an episode. That would be hilarious.

[Francis]

It's so worth it. All you got to do is get in the kitchen. They said I was close on that whistle.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

I don't know what I missed on, though. Am I, is my pitch wrong or am I, am I missing a word?

[Ron]

I don't know it. I don't know. I, I, I learned French.

[Francis]

I watched one battle after another, though.

[Harry]

Oh, banger.

[Francis]

It was a banger.

[Ron]

Yeah, it's good. Good. The best part is the car chase scene at the end.

[Harry]

Yeah. I thought I loved it. I thought it was great.

[Francis]

I thought so too. And I hated licorice pizza.

[Harry]

Well, yeah.

[Francis]

Movie was Cheeks was the same director.

[Ron]

Oh, it was pta.

[Harry]

I didn't know, but I tried to watch that movie twice, and both times I turned it off.

[Francis]

It's vicious Cheeks. I mean, it has the same, like, frenetic, like, chaotic energy as this movie did, but, like, with no stakes.

[Harry]

No.

[Ron]

There Will Be Blood is as good as it gets.

[Francis]

That's him too, right?

[Ron]

As far as movies go, it might be the best in my time. The best movie I've ever seen.

[Harry]

You think?

[Ron]

Yeah, truly, I think it's the best movie. And that's not, that's not a. I mean, I'm a little bit of that take is informed by.

[Francis]

Give me the blood, Eli.

[Ron]

I want the blood.

[Francis]

Give me the blood.

[Ron]

It's so funny.

[Francis]

It's so good. He's the best.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Francis]

I watch. And, and he just doesn't miss on the movies he picks, too. I think he did a Daniel Day Lewis has, like, a period piece movie about living in New York that's supposed to be One of the best movies about New York York that I've never watched.

[Ron]

Is that Phantom Thread?

[Francis]

No, I think it's.

[Ron]

Before that I never saw that one.

[Francis]

But I bet that one's good too. But I never watched it because it just. It's a little. It feels a little.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Fruity.

[Ron]

I don't know what it's about. I don't even know.

[Francis]

Phantom of the Opera, Phantom Thread.

[Ron]

I think it's about some Taylor, maybe a ribbon cutter.

[Harry]

I think Phantom of the Thread.

[Francis]

A guy who just opened Phantom of the Threads here.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

All right.

[Ron]

Yeah, let's. We've.

[Harry]

We've exceeded expectations for today as well.

[Ron]

As we can cover a lot of ground.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Ron]

All right.

[Harry]

Thank you, everyone, for listening. We will be back on Thursday. Goodbye.

[Ron]

Close was over.

[Francis]

Still, still underground.

[Ron]

So I looked older to you.

[Harry]

Came around.

[Ron]

I was only falling one way.

[Francis]

I.

[Ron]

Was only falling one way.

[Francis]

James.

[Ron]

Was drifting.

[Harry]

Fool who was that?

[Francis]

I. Now I come alive I was only.

[Ron]

Falling one way I was only falling one way I was only, only falling.

[Harry]

One way.

[Ron]

I was only falling one way that is true, you're right did you realize no one can take me in.

[Harry]

I was only falling one way.

[Ron]

That you can see. Sa.