Rhubarb Pie | Son of a Boy Dad #347 ft. Pat Bev

Summary

---

Son of a Boy Dad #347: "Rhubarb Pie" (ft. Pat Bev) – October 28, 2025

Episode Overview

In this lively episode, the Son of a Boy Dad crew welcomes NBA veteran and Barstool colleague Patrick Beverley (Pat Bev) to the podcast. The theme centers around navigating adulthood, learning life lessons post-college, friendship, cultural quirks, and a frank, sometimes tense, discussion of recent Barstool drama. Highlights include touching on fatherhood, sports banter, harmless and not-so-harmless online conflicts, and the ever-present humor that keeps Son of a Boy Dad authentic and relatable.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Early Banter: Sports Memories, Pies, and Parenthood

• Lacrosse and Anxiety (01:05–03:00): The guys swap anxious and funny memories about playing lacrosse, including "cocky" moves like rolling or bounce passing the ball and the nerves of competition.
• Meeting the Seed (04:08–05:54): Francis visits Rone’s kids and brings a rhubarb pie, leading to jokes about dunking the children in it. The group riffs on the absurdity of gift-giving, “parental multitasking,” and being caught "cheating" on friends by visiting other people’s kids.
• Pie Confessions (09:29–10:28): Francis reveals he almost texted Rone to ask for a slice of the pie he brought as a gift, discussing the etiquette of sharing treats.

Sports, Dogs, and Cultural Stereotypes

• Fat Dogs & Owner Denial (12:59–14:19): The panel jokes about fat dogs, the denial of their owners, and cultural clichés about specific dog breeds’ weights.
• "Blackie" the Labrador (14:19–15:56): An offbeat and slightly uncomfortable story about childhood pets and old-fashioned naming, sparking a brief reflection on generational differences and unintended offense.
• Multiculturalism, Brazil, and "BBL" (17:57–21:16): The conversation shifts to Brazilian stereotypes, discussing if Brazilians are "Latinas," clarifying the meaning of "BBL" (Brazilian Butt Lift vs. "Big Booty Latina"), and the sometimes-absurd results of AI-assisted definitions.
• Travel Safety & Stereotypes (21:52–24:36): The guys debate which cities are “dangerous,” contrasting stereotypical fears of places like Brazil, Colombia, Chicago, and New York with their lived experiences.

Social Media, Virality, and Barstool Office Politics

• Online Spats: Pat Bev vs. The Blogs (32:10–54:29):
  • The Tension: Pat Bev, Sass, and crew engage in a real-time, slightly awkward reconciliation about recent online/blog drama—where blog posts and subtweets led to misunderstandings and ambiguous offense.
  • Handling Drama: Pat Bev emphasizes his preference for face-to-face confrontation over online back-and-forth, expressing that, for him, “nothing is out of bounds,” while others make clear there are still lines not to cross.
  • Notable Quote [42:54, Pat Bev]: "Polarizing figure. Obviously, you love me or you hate me. That’s how my sht was in NBA. That’s how my sht go be [here]."
  • Competitive Challenges: Suggestions to settle tension via paddle, basketball, or even gaming are floated, but fun remains secondary to the unresolved beef.
  • On Success and Perspective: Pat Bev and Francis trade jabs and flexes about making money, family security, and personal success: “Life is too great…” (51:25).

Natural Flow: Friendship, Humor, and Vulnerability

• Literacy, Confidence, and Parenting (56:07–57:33): After the heated exchange, the group softens with a discussion on functional vs. strict illiteracy, the role of parents and teachers, and fostering confidence in kids.

  • "Confidence is a key." – Sass [57:13]

• Body Humor and Realness (69:28–71:47): Rone recounts his recent struggles with food poisoning before a show, illustrating the comic value and vulnerability that brings the group together.

Random and Relatable: Pop Culture & Observational Bits

• Movie Talk (62:40–63:47): Francis highly recommends a new Netflix movie about a nuclear crisis, noting its intensity.
  • "It's unbelievably tense. Like, I'm not sure which weed you should smoke before you watch it, but... my neck hurt after from just being like..." – Francis [63:11]
• Adulthood Observations: Posture and Pain (67:01–68:41): The group commiserates about bad posture, back pain, and the humbling moments of seeing yourself on camera.
• Comedy and Stage Frights (70:00–72:47): They swap horror stories about needing to perform while battling stomach issues—a metaphor for powering through adversity.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Segments

• On Multitasking Parenting:
  "What you learned as a young parent and a capable adult is that you have to be able to do multiple things at once, especially as you raise twins." — Pat [06:56]

• Banter on Brazil and BBL
  "We are going to confirm here now for the first time on Son of a Boy Dad, according to—Brazilian women are in fact all big booty Latinas." — Pat [18:58]

• Conflict and Content
  "This is the difference between… I don't think you— I don't think you mean that, 'cause I could go back to the blog and go places that would really be a problem." — Pat [46:35]
  "It's war." — Sass [46:49]
  "It's not war." — Pat [46:50]

• On Handling Social Media Beef
  "It was actually very strategic, very chess move. Say something on—I know exactly what I said before I said it. Deleted it. I know what that was going to do before it did it..." — Pat Bev [43:01]

• Teamwork & Perspective
  "A rising tide floats all boats." — Pat [49:38]

• Life Achievements and Flexing
  "I'm a kid from Chicago. I've made over a hundred million dollars!" — Pat Bev [51:24]

• On Parent-Teacher Influence
  "Confidence is a key...It's on the parents." — Sass [57:13]

---

Timestamps of Important Segments

• [05:54-10:28] — The Rhubarb Pie, Parental Multitasking, and Friendship
• [12:59-15:56] — Jokes on Fat Dogs and Problematic Pet Names
• [17:57-21:16] — BBL, Brazilian Stereotypes, and Latinidad
• [32:10-54:29] — Pat Bev Confronts the Barstool Blog Drama (Main Tension & Resolution)
• [56:07-57:33] — Literacy, Confidence, and Parenting Insight
• [62:40-63:47] — Francis’ Movie Recommendation
• [69:28-71:47] — Posture, Stage Adrenaline, and Humor Past Sickness

---

Tone and Style

The episode blends classic Barstool irreverence, inside jokes, and authentic vulnerability. Tension from online beef is dealt with both humorously and seriously in real-time, emphasizing the value (and pitfalls) of face-to-face conversation over subtweets and blog posts. Banter about sports, food, parenting, and pop culture keeps the energy light-hearted—even as uncomfortable topics arise.

---

Final Thoughts

"Rhubarb Pie" is a signature Son of a Boy Dad episode: honest, sometimes uncomfortable, and always moving between joke and real talk. Through playful competition, honest confrontation, and a healthy dose of self-deprecation, the pod demonstrates what it means to navigate adulthood, public life, and community—one awkward pie, paddle match, or blog post at a time.

---

Listen for: Reflection on modern masculinity, the importance of handling conflict directly, and lots of laughs about sports, food, and the pain of growing up (and old).

Transcript

[Ron]

Hey. Son of a boy. Dad. Listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.

[Pat]

Golf season is in full swing and.

[Sass]

Getting out there to work on your.

[Pat]

Game is bound to make any day even better. And if you're looking to improve your drive, Chevy Equinox EV is the smartest.

[Sass]

Choice you can make.

[Pat]

Bold athletic styling, a commanding presence, award winning tech, an impressive range, all with an affordable msrp. Chevy Equinox EV will put a smile on your face no matter how your scorecard shakes out.

[Ron]

I'm not going back to college to be your friend.

[Pat]

I'm going so I can get Uber one for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber eats.

[Ron]

I'm there for $0 delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 10% off smoothies, and 6% Uber credits back on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think college is for. Get Uber one for students a membership to save on Uber and Uber E. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just 4.99amonth. Savings may vary.

[Pat]

Eligibility and member terms apply. Thanks. Oh, thank you. That's cool. In lacrosse that we very occasionally used to throw, like, you'd roll the ball to a guy? Yeah, it was kind of like, I don't know, seen as being, like a really cocky thing to do.

[Dave]

To roll the ball?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Why? I mean, wait, you, like, people would do it mid game?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Oh, yeah. Okay, that makes sense. I thought you meant, like, in practice.

[Pat]

Like if a guy was subbing on from the midline and their defense was compressed into the box, you'd. Maybe you'd roll it in for it to give him time or something.

[Francis]

Oh, that's.

[Pat]

I don't know. It was really cocky. Yeah, a bounce pass. Bounce passes were like.

[Dave]

I just feel so risky.

[Pat]

Crazy. I don't think I ever threw a single, especially with my whole career.

[Dave]

It's like, what if there's like a rock or like a pebble somewhere? Just sends the ball to the left.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Ron]

What if there's an angel in the outfield?

[Dave]

Exactly.

[Pat]

Dude. I can pinpoint specific moments of playing in games where, if I recall that exact moment, I'm filled with anxiety.

[Dave]

Like a bounce pass.

[Pat]

Well, I had to throw a pass to Brook Shoal, number six on our team, as he subbed in from the box. Against Dartmouth, we were 6 5, of course. And the.

[Dave]

I gotta. I don't understand that at all.

[Pat]

Nor do I.

[Dave]

The six, seven thing. Someone's Got to break that down for me.

[Pat]

Why bother? Why not just wait until. It doesn't matter in a week? That is true. It's one week away.

[Dave]

Yeah, I think you're right. I think we are. This is the last week.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Honestly, the. You know who could have killed it is the fucking teachers.

[Dave]

Oh, big time.

[Ron]

Like, if teachers just started doing it.

[Francis]

Kids.

[Dave]

Kids.

[Ron]

I think they were. Yeah. Cool teachers.

[Dave]

I saw a video. I saw a video of, like, an auditorium full of fifth graders doing it. Like, they were waiting for, like, a presentation, and they were just. Every single kid was doing it.

[Pat]

You plugged into the security camera of a auditorium of fifth graders.

[Dave]

This was on reels on Instagram for some reason, randomly on Instagram reels will just get, like, a.

[Pat]

Starting to wonder about that setup. You got middle schools post. Starting to feel like that's more of, like, a spy center on middle school on Instagram reels. No, you're.

[Dave]

Take it up with Instagram reels.

[Pat]

You've turned the lights down, you've put blankets over your windows, and you have five monitors to literally monitor what fifth graders think is cool.

[Dave]

I should get. I should get a real monitoring system.

[Ron]

No, no, you shouldn't. You actually shouldn't do that.

[Francis]

All right.

[Ron]

Archery Sartre.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Dave]

All righty. Welcome back to the Son of a Boy dad podcast. Today it is October 27th.

[Ron]

It is 27th.

[Dave]

27Th. It is 11:15am and we are here live from HQ3. Welcome back, everybody.

[Ron]

Francis met my children yesterday.

[Pat]

Really?

[Ron]

Francis met my seed yesterday.

[Dave]

How fun. I saw that, actually. I saw you guys texting about it.

[Ron]

Yeah, I could not.

[Dave]

I could not meet the seed yesterday. I was. I was in Massachusetts having a little family time of my own, so.

[Ron]

Really?

[Pat]

Yep. Nice.

[Dave]

Sister's wedding. Yep. Jewish wedding. No, it wasn't. It wasn't actually.

[Pat]

Not at all.

[Ron]

She didn't marry a Jew.

[Dave]

No.

[Francis]

No.

[Ron]

But she. She retained her judom.

[Dave]

I don't know. No, she married a Brazilian dude.

[Pat]

Fogo de chow.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Is that how you literally.

[Dave]

That's where we went the night before the wedding.

[Pat]

Did you actually.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Sass]

That's like.

[Dave]

Swear to God.

[Ron]

That's like marrying an Australian dude and going to Outback Steakhouse.

[Dave]

It was awesome. We had a great time.

[Ron]

I know. That's too on the nose. He's probably like, come on.

[Dave]

You got to find a little in between, you know, for both families. It was great. We had a blast.

[Ron]

That's insane. I bet he felt a little bit pander, too.

[Dave]

No, we've known him for, like, a decade.

[Pat]

Two on the nose Road would have been going to Katz's Delicate Delicatessen.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Is that. Is that. Is that Brazilian food?

[Ron]

No, that's Jewish.

[Pat]

Oh, okay.

[Dave]

Is that what you said? I don't know why? Like when you said cats Deli. It's. I just checked out because I assumed you were talking about a restaurant that, like, you guys only knew about.

[Ron]

Not the most famous restaurant in New York City.

[Pat]

I was trying to think of the most Jewish eating establishment. And I think it's probably that. At least that that is known. And. And I also double entendred it with the nose.

[Ron]

Nose.

[Pat]

Because of. On the nose.

[Ron]

Because your people have big noses.

[Pat]

Of course.

[Ron]

Unlike the famously small nosed Italians.

[Dave]

Of course. Of course.

[Pat]

The small nose Italians or the large nostril English.

[Ron]

Mm.

[Pat]

Francis.

[Dave]

The meeting of the seed he brought us.

[Ron]

He brought a pie. He brought a rhubarb pie.

[Dave]

Really?

[Pat]

For them to play in. Yeah.

[Ron]

I was dunking them in the pie.

[Pat]

Like it was a ball pit.

[Ron]

They're just waist deep in a strawberry rhubarb.

[Pat]

I went with a big pie.

[Dave]

Yeah, Deep.

[Ron]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dave]

Deep as hell.

[Ron]

A barrel.

[Dave]

Deep dish.

[Pat]

Deep dish.

[Ron]

Large pizza.

[Dave]

It's the size of one of those McDonald's pies, but it was seven feet deep.

[Ron]

It's so bizarre. Francis came over. He watched the games. He was watching. We were watching.

[Dave]

I know that ain't true.

[Ron]

What?

[Dave]

Because you guys were texting about it. The games were already going on.

[Ron]

That's not true.

[Pat]

What do you mean?

[Dave]

Am I wrong?

[Ron]

You're wrong.

[Pat]

He came over.

[Ron]

Watch the Giants game. Giants Eagles game.

[Pat]

Why wouldn't we have been able to watch the game while we were doing that? What? Where is your issue?

[Dave]

I assumed you were focusing on the pie and the kids, trying to. What you learned as a young parent from the pie.

[Pat]

What you learned as a young parent and a capable adult is that you have to be able to do multiple things at once, especially as you raise twins.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Ron]

You had to multitask. And I was. Towards the end of the Giants game, I was begging Francis to stay. I was like, let's make a day of it. Let's make a meal of it. He said, I gotta go work out. I gotta go punish my body midday on a. On a Sunday. 4 o' clock on a Sunday. He said he has to go punish his body for scatter Boo until I walk. So I walk outside, I go. I go take a walk. And then what do I see? I'd like you to take a look at this picture. What is that? I'd like you to describe what you see.

[Pat]

Oh, did you see me walking with my other friends?

[Ron]

Yeah, I did. I saw you fucking cheating on me.

[Sass]

Oh, no.

[Ron]

I got to go work out. I go outside. You're walking with another dude and his baby. And his babies. So insane.

[Pat]

You want to hear something insane? I saw another couple with another baby. After this. That couple, I decided to make a day of just paying visits to my friends with children.

[Ron]

I'm actually just going to go work out.

[Dave]

He goes to that apartment right next door.

[Pat]

And then I worked out. And then I worked out. I only brought one pie. I only gave out one pie.

[Dave]

That photo is hilarious.

[Pat]

That's so funny.

[Dave]

Have you not seen it?

[Pat]

No.

[Dave]

It's so funny.

[Ron]

You're, like, throwing your heads back laughing.

[Pat]

There's us cosplaying as a gay couple. Our beautiful, adopted Indian boy.

[Ron]

As soon as I walked out, I took the ride out my building and I saw you guys.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Walking in front of the skyline.

[Pat]

Inside that stroller is Bangladesh's most promising spelling bee champion.

[Ron]

Yeah. He was scouting out someone who could spell a Lopakoid. That's crazy.

[Dave]

That's insane.

[Ron]

Yeah. Francis was big baby, dad. He cheated. He che on me big time.

[Pat]

Now, in my defense, I. I knew I said I wanted to go work out, but did I say that as I was leaving your apartment that I was going straight to the gym?

[Dave]

Yeah. I'm assuming now you intimated.

[Pat]

Did I intimate? I mean, I was wearing.

[Ron]

You're wearing workout clothes, and you mentioned the workout more than once.

[Pat]

Well, that's my thing. I just talk about working out. That's really kind of all I talk about right now.

[Ron]

You had just spoken about working out, and I fucking ran upstairs to my wife. I was like, frances is fucking cheating on us.

[Pat]

No. Damn it. I had such goodwill with that pie I brought. I know.

[Dave]

They threw the pie away.

[Sass]

She wouldn't even take a bite of it. I actually was eating the bar.

[Dave]

She was pulling trig in the bathroom.

[Ron]

Get it out of me.

[Pat]

Stick your fingers down my throat. I can't do it. I can't do it.

[Ron]

Here, honey. Holding your hair.

[Pat]

So the one thing I almost texted you, Roan, was that at late at night, which I thought this would be ridiculous, but the pie I gave you was the pie I wanted to eat the most.

[Ron]

I'm not going to be able to finish it. Just come over and have some pie.

[Pat]

I was going to say I never got to try it because I feel like bringing someone a pie and then being like, may I Have a slice of the pie. I just. Well, we should have.

[Ron]

It should have been like a bottle of wine where we open it right away.

[Pat]

Maybe, maybe. But I don't know if any of us were in the pie mood and I was heading to.

[Ron]

Well, you said you had to work out. I didn't want to give you pie. If I'd known you had a long journey of conversation and baby coddling, then I would have given you some pie for fuel along the way. But I didn' want to dampen your workout.

[Pat]

I'd already also eaten a quarter of a pie and a bunch of pasta. Yesterday was a tough day. I stepped away from war.

[Dave]

Did you end up working out or not?

[Pat]

I did.

[Dave]

Oh, okay, let's go.

[Pat]

I did. I did 30 minutes on a treadmill incline. 3.5 15 incline, and then I did 50 toes to bar through four sets.

[Dave]

That's crazy. 15 incline is insane. That's what you're just walking into. Like, you're just walking at a 90 degree angle.

[Pat]

I need to prepare.

[Dave]

Do you have to, like, hold on to the treadmill so you don't.

[Pat]

I won't allow myself to hold on to the treadmill. That's a complete cheat move.

[Dave]

I know, I know.

[Pat]

That's what you do when you're in your third trimester.

[Ron]

It's a big time girl move. But at which point just, like, lower the incline. Yeah.

[Pat]

Just walk.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Pat]

If you're. If you're holding on, then you can lean back and it's no longer an incline.

[Dave]

Yeah. It's less true.

[Pat]

You're walking at a level.

[Dave]

I was on the incline last week and I was on this treadmill. The gym that I go to sucks. And every time I'm.

[Sass]

I'm a big.

[Dave]

Like, I'm just around when I'm in. Like, I'm in the gym, I'm like, I'm just trying to work up a sweat and get out of here.

[Pat]

This. Yeah.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Dave]

No, you'd be surprised. There's not that much maintenance here. But I was at the gym and I was on the tread. I was. I was on the incline. I'm. I'll be like, all right, I'm gonna do five minutes on 13, and then I'm gonna switch it back down to like seven and cool intervals, stuff like that.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Dave]

But the treadmill I was on was all flat, was all fucky. So every time I would adjust it, it would be like. And I would change the incline. It would sound like someone was below the treadmill, like, using all of their force to lift it up.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Hunchback.

[Dave]

It was causing a scene.

[Ron]

That's fucking brutal.

[Pat]

Why don't you just switch treadmills once you're already.

[Dave]

Then you got people, you're strapped in. Yeah. You're locked in.

[Ron]

And then someone else. Then the pregnant lady has to bear that weight.

[Dave]

Exactly.

[Pat]

Sass walks on a treadmill the way that injured dogs rehabilit a pool. Modern veterinary centers with a harness. Learning to use your new aesthetic. You got two wheels behind you to.

[Ron]

Sit back on his tongue dangling. Oh, man.

[Pat]

It's like, come on, guys, he's 14. Let's just put him down.

[Dave]

I would love to do one of those water ones.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Or have you ever seen the trucks that, like, pull up outside people's houses and dogs just get on the truck and sprint for, like, three hours? That does seem nice counterintuitive. You could just run outside, but I. Yeah, so that's.

[Dave]

That's a tough. That's got to be tough. Like, unless it's like a. Like a medical situation. It's got to be tough being the owner of that dog and being like, yeah, we got to have the. The treadmill truck come through because we accidentally feed our dog eight times a day.

[Ron]

Fat dog.

[Dave]

Having a fat dog is a crazy move. It's also like, I think it just reflects on the owner.

[Ron]

You just look so irresponsible having a big fat dog.

[Dave]

Yeah, like a big ass dog.

[Pat]

You know, it's funny too, is that people who have fat dogs are in such denial about how it got fat.

[Dave]

Oh, yeah.

[Pat]

They're like, yeah. I don't know what to say. I mean, we just give him the two scoops in the morning, in the night. Then you're like, do you ever feed him at the table? And they're like, yeah, everyone's plates at the end of the dinner. Whatever people haven't eaten, we compile into a trough. And then that's his. Because he's earned it. He's cute.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Pat]

It's like, no, he's dying.

[Ron]

He's wheezing.

[Pat]

His joints sound like Harry's treadmill.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Like, oh, he has a thyroid issue. Yeah, no, he doesn't have a thyroid.

[Dave]

It's always a golden retriever. Just a wide ass gold. Or like a white lab.

[Ron]

I've been seeing it.

[Pat]

Is that the way you.

[Dave]

What, A white yellow lab?

[Pat]

I've never racified labs as hard as that.

[Dave]

Really?

[Pat]

I. I say a yellow.

[Dave]

I've never seen a fat black lab ever.

[Pat]

I have.

[Ron]

Really? I've seen news to me.

[Pat]

And by the way, I think they could get fat. Me. Me calling the race card there. It stems from some personal trauma of my own where we had. We had an amazing matriarch lab named Waggy, and she was such a amazing dog that we actually bred her when I was a kid.

[Dave]

Oh, yeah, I think you told me about that.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And we had two litters of puppies, and we bred her with a chocolate lab. And I think seven of the puppies were yellow labs, and then, like, one or two were chocolate or maybe even black. I don't even know how that worked. But my grandparents, my mom's parents wanted one, and they wanted the black lab, so we gave it to them, and they named it Blackie.

[Sass]

Oh, yeah.

[Pat]

Which I think is not really supposed to happen anymore.

[Ron]

Yeah, you can't do that.

[Dave]

No, but, like, if you had, like, a. If you had a white lab and.

[Ron]

You named it Whitey, that would be fine, but black. I was at a hermit crab race in, like, some Caribbean island, and, like, there was a black hermit crab, and one of the ladies was like, come on, Blackie. And I was like, oh, this sounds so.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Ron]

So wrong.

[Pat]

He's wrong.

[Dave]

Maybe in the deep woods of Maine, though, you can. You can name it whatever you want. You can name it the N word if you really wanted to.

[Ron]

I guarantee people are doing that with their dogs.

[Dave]

Absolutely.

[Ron]

Doing nasty things. But they probably had no ill intent. They didn't mean it racially.

[Pat]

No. I think they were just from a.

[Ron]

Different era, and maybe it was, like, a little bit easier to just remember the name. Of course, black ones named.

[Dave]

Do they ever. Did they ever, like, called anything for short?

[Ron]

Blackie Robinson. Blackie Moon. Oh, my God. Beautiful.

[Pat]

Beautiful Robinson.

[Dave]

Blackie Robinson's crazy.

[Ron]

No.

[Dave]

Did you guys enjoy the Giants and Eagles game together?

[Ron]

Well, Francis was on the other side of. Of history on that one.

[Dave]

Yeah, He's a Giants fan.

[Ron]

Yeah. But we did. I enjoyed it.

[Pat]

We were watching it.

[Ron]

We were watching it. We were catching up. I mean, it's like when the conversation is flowing like that, you really even lose track of the game, you know?

[Francis]

Really?

[Pat]

Yeah, we were.

[Sass]

We were.

[Pat]

I was more focused on. On the kids, and. And I really started to bond hard with Wesley.

[Ron]

Yeah, he was spinning Wes on his finger like a Harlem Globetrotter.

[Pat]

Yeah, Wes is my guy.

[Ron]

I never.

[Pat]

Right. Am I getting it right? It was the one who stayed up later.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Pat]

The other one went to. Bowed out and took a nap.

[Ron]

Yeah. Wes was wrestling with you and.

[Pat]

Yeah, Wes is my guy. So. Wes And I were really bonding hard.

[Dave]

You guys were wrestling.

[Pat]

He was filling the hole that you create in my heart. I said this to Ron.

[Dave]

That's good.

[Francis]

I'm glad.

[Pat]

It's like all this unreturned affection is being filled by this beautiful child.

[Ron]

He was requiting.

[Dave]

Yeah, I'm glad to hear that.

[Ron]

He was definitely requiting. They shared a doobie too.

[Dave]

Oh, really?

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Dave]

That's good.

[Pat]

Yeah, I actually brought him along and he's going to be featuring for me soon.

[Francis]

Oh, wow.

[Pat]

And I told Patrick at the stand, I was like, you got to look at this kid.

[Ron]

And he's.

[Pat]

He's going to be downstairs tonight. Main road show.

[Dave]

That's great.

[Ron]

It's just like a trial run. It's nothing guaranteed. But like, they said that they see really big things.

[Dave]

Yeah. Just see if it works out. I get that.

[Ron]

Well, he's got a tight, tight five.

[Dave]

That's awesome. Is Wes Eagles fan or a Giants fan?

[Ron]

I think he's whatever he wants to be. Honestly, he's more of a football footy fan.

[Dave]

Oh, soccer.

[Ron]

Premier League. Go Gunners.

[Dave]

I was watching some Premier League on Saturday.

[Ron]

What were you doing watching Premier League Saturday morning?

[Dave]

Who was hanging out with a bunch of Brazilians?

[Ron]

Oh, yeah. Brazilians are like, lazily athletic.

[Dave]

Oh, yeah.

[Ron]

They just like roll out of bed and can, like juggle a. Yeah, just like built. Built wide. Built like a Botero statue.

[Pat]

They just play all their sports on the beach.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Ron]

So nice.

[Pat]

It's like, how do you play basketball on sand? But they find a way where they'll.

[Ron]

Play like soccer in a favela and it's just like a tiered game of soccer. You go upstairs to play. It's so damn impressive. Boy died in fucking Brazil.

[Dave]

I would go to Brazil.

[Pat]

I don't want to go to Brazil.

[Ron]

Too dangerous for you.

[Pat]

I just don't have much interest. I don't like big booty Latinas.

[Dave]

Oh, really? You actively dislike them?

[Pat]

Yeah, that's not my category. I don't. By the way, are Brazilians Latina? Would they qualify as such?

[Ron]

Well, Latin America is like the Portuguese.

[Pat]

They speak Portuguese.

[Ron]

But is Latin America the middle?

[Pat]

They are. They are Latina. We are going to confirm here now for the first time on Son of a Boy. Dad, according to Brazilian women are in fact all big booty Latinas.

[Ron]

But AI is such like a people pleaser. Like, it's such like a affirming. Like they'll really tell you whatever you want to hear.

[Dave]

Oh, yeah.

[Ron]

Especially if you phrase the question right.

[Dave]

You Gotta. You gotta prompt it and tell them, like, no. All right. No fuckery here.

[Pat]

Do you know why I use Big Booty Latinas so liberally?

[Dave]

Why?

[Pat]

Because I started seeing the acronym BBL thrown around constantly, and I just assumed that that's what it stood for.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Wrong.

[Dave]

Brazilian Butt Lift.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Pat]

But you could see how I might conflate the two.

[Ron]

But a BBL can create a bbl.

[Pat]

That's what I'm saying.

[Dave]

Of course.

[Sass]

There.

[Dave]

Yeah. I definitely see where you could mix those up.

[Ron]

We need to put an end to them.

[Pat]

We need something to make sure we understand the difference between what we're talking about. It's like process and end product.

[Ron]

Exactly. I just don't. I don't think that the Brazilian butt lift is flattering, really. When done. When done the way that it's. It went. When done with too much material, too much cotton candy in that, too much.

[Pat]

Ceiling insulation.

[Ron]

Packing peanuts, too much caulk. There's literally.

[Dave]

You could throw whatever they can.

[Pat]

You could ship wine glasses between those cheeks and they'd get. If they're in one piece.

[Ron]

That's why the girls are always.

[Dave]

Champagne flutes.

[Ron]

That's why they're kneeling on the plane.

[Pat]

Per crack.

[Dave]

It is insane. Just throw anything in there.

[Ron]

You just see them on the street and it's just like.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Ron]

It doesn't even pretend to be. It's just like that. When it goes out the sides, it's just. I don't know. It's greedy. Yeah.

[Dave]

You don't want your ass to be sharp. Edges should never be edges on your ass.

[Ron]

It should have a cliff. It shouldn't jut.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Ron]

There should be no jutting, especially at the top. Or maybe some jet. I don't know.

[Dave]

Maybe a little Judd.

[Ron]

But I just. I thought that Brazilians were naturally gifted. I thought that that was, like, kind of the appeal of Brazil.

[Pat]

I think many are. I think they do those, whatever. Miss Brazil But Award thing. You ever seen that?

[Dave]

I don't think so now.

[Ron]

Because they're doing sand workouts and they're climbing favela staircases.

[Dave]

Is there, like, a lot of sand in Brazil? I feel like there's like. It's a jungle, right? A rainforest.

[Pat]

There's a lot of coast. Yeah, there's a lot of coast.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Ron]

But I feel like coastline kind of looks like a bbl, honestly.

[Dave]

How far is Brazil from.

[Pat]

Think back to the Olympics they had. And all the shots that they would do, the opening shots. Welcome back. It would always be on the beach.

[Dave]

Yeah. It's just Brazil's a really big country.

[Ron]

Look at that. Look at that huge ass coastline. It's massive.

[Dave]

It's insane how big Brazil is. Brazil.

[Pat]

I hear Rio is a very dangerous town.

[Dave]

Yeah, I think, I think it's, I think there's a lot of corruption.

[Ron]

Yeah. But like people definitely say that about like people will be like, yeah, I hear Chicago super dangerous.

[Dave]

True.

[Ron]

And you go to Chicago and you're like, oh, I'm in Fulton Market, everything's a speakeasy.

[Dave]

Yeah, it's really. It is crazy. Like it's like when you go to the south and you talk to people about New York and they're like, I wouldn't. Oh, you couldn't pay me to go to New York City. And you're like, really? It's not that bad.

[Ron]

Yeah. Where are you going? Who like is this like deep South Meek Phil. It's crazy that there's New Yorkers who are that scared of New York.

[Dave]

I, when I was in, when I went to. When I performed in Huntsville, Alabama, every time I told someone I was from New York, it was like their jaw hit the floor. They were like, in your. And you're, you're safe there. Yeah. I think fly home with this gun.

[Pat]

Maybe, maybe Sao Paulo is the really dangerous one. Do you know?

[Dave]

I have no clue.

[Ron]

I think that they all have unsafe areas, but I think that that's like they have poor areas. So people are poor. They do nasty things to try and get rich.

[Pat]

Get rich Brazilian butt lifts.

[Ron]

You know what I. Where I want to try and go is Cartagena. I heard that that's the most beautiful city in all the Andes.

[Pat]

I don't with Colombia either.

[Ron]

Really? What do you with are you.

[Pat]

That scares me, dude.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Pat]

I'd rather go to Brazil than Colombia. Why?

[Dave]

I'm not trying to get my. I'm not trying to get dissected.

[Pat]

Yeah. I'm not trying to like wake up three days later with a girl I thought liked me, you know, standing over me with three guys on moped being like, we have your Social Security number. We have access to your family's accounts. And now we're going to cut off your penis.

[Ron]

Yeah, no, that's not happening to.

[Dave]

Colombia's is bad news.

[Ron]

No, it's like if you're beautiful, it's like a mountainous lovely town.

[Dave]

Isn't Colombia where like if the, the dude scored on his own goal in soccer and they just killed him?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Just bring them back to the locker room.

[Pat]

Shoot.

[Ron]

When was this?

[Pat]

And his name was Escobar as Well, yeah. Yeah. Did you see this?

[Ron]

40 years ago.

[Dave]

This was, like, Saturday.

[Pat]

Yeah. Yeah. Did you see that? There was a clip I just saw of this guy. I don't know where this came from. And he is in the middle of a very crowded street in Colombia, and there's a lot of commotion. And he's like, a British dude, I think, or maybe he's an American guy, and he's, like, holding on to this little, cute Colombian woman. And he's like. He's like, yelling. He's like, yeah, call the police. Call the police.

[Sass]

I, I.

[Pat]

We went to bed, and three days later, I woke up, and she had, like. She'd stolen everything from him.

[Dave]

She's like, a public.

[Pat]

She slipped him, you know, one of these new drugs that I don't. I never even heard of.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And there's, like, police milling around, and you can kind of see the look on their face being like, yeah, that does sound. That sounds right. That is possible.

[Ron]

Officer Rodriguez, did you drug him?

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Ron]

She's just working with them.

[Dave]

That's crazy.

[Pat]

But at the same time, they're also like, you know, hey, man, you come. You come to dance with the bulls, you're going to get the horn. Exactly. You can't be mad.

[Dave]

Exactly. What did you expect to happen? You remember every day in Colombia?

[Ron]

Yeah. Just.

[Pat]

Just a moronic white Taurus.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Getting exactly what happens in this country.

[Dave]

Definitely went by himself. I'm gonna go down to Colombia, check it out. I think it's gonna be fun.

[Pat]

No? Yeah. She says that she thinks we're soul mates.

[Dave]

Texting his buddies while at the bar.

[Ron]

Yeah. I found a good one. I think we're gonna do 90 Day Fiance together. Yeah.

[Pat]

The problem with American women is that they just expect so much in return, Right?

[Ron]

She's humble. She's really humble.

[Pat]

Carmela is. I'm telling you, she's not asking me for anything.

[Dave]

Just a passport and all the money in my wallet.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Do you have shots? Do you have your passport? You guys ever see that R. Kelly video where he's in Africa and he's, like, singing to all the women? He's like, do you have your shots? Do you have your passports?

[Dave]

You have your shots?

[Ron]

Yeah. Do you want to take a trip with Rob up to America?

[Pat]

Is that from his trapped in the closet thing?

[Ron]

No, he was singing. He was, like, freestyling it at an African concert to, like, being, like, at an arena. It was, like, an outdoor concert in Africa. Do you have your passport? Do you have your shots? It's so funny.

[Pat]

Did you.

[Sass]

How.

[Dave]

How much of Trapped in the Closet have you guys seen?

[Pat]

I mean, all of it.

[Francis]

Not.

[Pat]

I've watched a few and then it just got so insane that I was like, I can't be bothered. And didn't got over like a hundred as being this amazing piece of art. Right. Didn't it win or something like that?

[Dave]

It was like a joke. Like I thought. Everyone just thought it was hilarious.

[Pat]

Is that true?

[Dave]

That's what I assumed. But I don't know you.

[Pat]

What do you. I don't. I remember.

[Ron]

I mean, the one song from Trapped in the Closet, it was like a charting song.

[Dave]

Yeah, like the original song.

[Ron]

Yeah, but that. That was like part of the original sequence.

[Pat]

Win Grammys.

[Dave]

That's insane.

[Ron]

What the hell is going on between the sheets in my house?

[Dave]

I remember sitting in, laying in bed and watching like 30 of the music videos in a row and being like, how, How. When is this going to end? And then I looked and there was like a hundred more.

[Ron]

He was like clearly making it up as he went.

[Dave]

Yeah, absolutely. There was like a. There was like a midget in the oven. Sorry.

[Pat]

I think the guy, he walked person. Oh yeah, that's over the line for us.

[Francis]

I don't know.

[Ron]

He's.

[Dave]

Aren't you not supposed to say that?

[Ron]

I mean, he just called a dog Blackie.

[Sass]

True.

[Pat]

No, I didn't.

[Dave]

Well, Francis is racist.

[Pat]

Story of the grandparents I disavowed for naming their dog.

[Ron]

So you have to have those hard conversations at Thanksgiving.

[Dave]

But there was like a little dude in the. In the. In the oven.

[Pat]

Isn't the guy that he walks in on his girl with or something gay?

[Ron]

I think it goes in on him with a girl.

[Dave]

I think it goes there.

[Pat]

The guy walks in on him with a girl and somehow that guy ends up being gay. I remember that part. That's as far as I got. That might be even just like episode two.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Ron]

How is he writing the song gay? Wasn't he functionally illiterate? Like, how's he writing that song?

[Pat]

That means you can just sign your name on contracts.

[Dave]

Yeah, it must.

[Ron]

I think so. Have you heard that? You've heard those words put together before or does it.

[Pat]

I know, but I hadn't thought of what that would actually mean because I feel like being literate is pretty black and white. Either have or you don't.

[Ron]

Wait a second.

[Pat]

So to be functionally literate means like what you can. You have an interpreter, someone who has.

[Ron]

Reading and writing skills insufficient for managing daily living and employment tasks that would.

[Pat]

Have Ruled out contracts.

[Ron]

It's distinct from strict illiteracy, which is the inability to, to read or write in any language and can apply to someone who is literate in their native language, but not the predominant one in their country.

[Dave]

Well, so then how many people out there are. Are not functionally illiterate? Like, how many people are just straight up illiterate? Yeah, it can't be that many.

[Pat]

I think it's more that like, would.

[Dave]

Look at that and be like, I couldn't tell you. I couldn't tell you what that says.

[Pat]

You'd be surprised, really would be surprised by how many, how many kids are illiterate.

[Dave]

Like, full blown illiterate.

[Pat]

Yeah, man.

[Dave]

Dude, like, like stop signs coming up and they're like, let's just sail through this. Yeah. Well, thank God for the shape.

[Pat]

Yeah. They can see colors.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Dave]

But I feel like if you can.

[Ron]

See colors, it's not much different.

[Dave]

You gotta be at son S O N. You're just. That one's breaking me. I know this.

[Ron]

I know this one. I've seen this.

[Pat]

Yeah. No, look, you either get it in school or you don't.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And then think about, think about what happened to you in school. Right?

[Dave]

I don't know what happened. What did happen to me in school?

[Pat]

You didn't like it. You were not interested.

[Ron]

You're so damn literate that it was boring for you.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Francis]

But.

[Pat]

But imagine if that had happened in like first grade and then you had just checked out from that early on and there had been no oversight.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Nobody. When you got home, being like, like, you. You have to read this.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Pat]

You can't read this. We're not doing anything else until you can. It's.

[Ron]

It's fully on the parents.

[Dave]

Yeah, obviously.

[Pat]

But a lot of the time there are no parents around.

[Ron]

It's fully on the caregivers. Then.

[Pat]

Do we. The Teach for America. Do you know that program?

[Dave]

No.

[Pat]

Do you know cfa? So I applied for it when I was a senior and I really wanted to do it. And the interview process is cool. You put together a lesson and you present the lesson. That is what you. Your interview is. You teach a class for like 10 minutes and they're, they have whatever. They're all over the country, but their highest need area is the Mississippi Delta.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And there is just a. Many a gigantic area of the country where like, it's a food desert. So the only place you can buy food is at like a 711 or something within. There's no fucking grocery stores.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And schools are much Less funded or they're harder to get to. And so a lot of the time, people just don't even bother.

[Ron]

You just wind up as a Brandon Walker.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Brandon not being able to read would be unreal. We found that out.

[Ron]

That's why he's so ornery. Papa Heb. What's up, brother? How are you, brother?

[Dave]

What's up?

[Sass]

How y' all doing?

[Ron]

Good. I think you did. Me too.

[Sass]

What's happening?

[Dave]

Not much. We're recording.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Pat]

How are you?

[Dave]

I'm good. How are you?

[Pat]

Good.

[Sass]

You play Battlefield 6 yet?

[Dave]

I have, yeah. Do you like it? Yeah, I think it's fine.

[Sass]

Don't you start that today.

[Dave]

I think it's pretty middle. No Call of duty Black Ops 7? No. I don't like the gunplay at all.

[Sass]

Doing your squat. Yo, Sadness. Hello.

[Ron]

What's happening?

[Sass]

Look a little start. You okay?

[Pat]

I. I honestly have been kind of worried about you.

[Sass]

Why?

[Pat]

Because you haven't said anything.

[Sass]

Why should I?

[Pat]

I agree. Yeah. But here you are.

[Sass]

Yeah. Why should I? There's no need to have a debacle via Twitter, Instagram. I'm kind of a face to face type of man.

[Pat]

Then that's saying something.

[Sass]

Yeah. So you were saying.

[Pat]

I'm not saying we were having a podcast.

[Sass]

Yeah, I know. I'm saying you were saying before.

[Francis]

What?

[Sass]

I guess you. You had a. A blog that. Probably the second best thing you've done besides the side of the expressway thing.

[Pat]

The blog I wrote about in response to what you said.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Pat]

What do you want me to say?

[Sass]

Nothing. I'm. I'm here. I'm here with you guys. Like I've. I've been here before and I did a pod, and it wasn't this.

[Ron]

Did you read the blog?

[Sass]

17 words over. Yeah. I mean, like fast relay.

[Ron]

What'd you. What did you glean from it?

[Sass]

Nothing.

[Ron]

So everything's good.

[Sass]

Yeah. Hence, no response. Wow.

[Francis]

No.

[Sass]

No need to respond.

[Ron]

I saw a deleted response to something.

[Sass]

Like, I did that.

[Ron]

Well, what was the meaning of it?

[Pat]

I don't know.

[Sass]

Start out.

[Pat]

Did you think that. That Feidelberg was Kevin?

[Sass]

No.

[Pat]

Because John was the one who said all the stuff. And then your response was about Kevin.

[Sass]

Yeah, I know.

[Pat]

And the thought was that the reason you deleted the comment was because you were told that that was not Kevin.

[Sass]

No one I know besides Rome knows who anyone is in barstool. So I wasn't told.

[Pat]

Well, that's what I. That makes sense. That's what I'm asking.

[Sass]

No, I knew if I put something up, obviously you know, I went into a. A deep dive about everyone's past and everyone's ups and everyone's kind of history.

[Ron]

What'd you find out about Sass?

[Sass]

Oh, my dog.

[Dave]

There was a deep dive on me.

[Ron]

Did you do. You said. I thought you did a deep dive on everyone.

[Sass]

No, I just did that.

[Ron]

So no deep dive on Sass.

[Sass]

I did a deep dive on him and I did a deep dive on. Yeah, well, kfc. When I started doing my part, when I'm at home, no cord, just mic. Yeah. Yeah.

[Dave]

Wireless.

[Sass]

Yeah. But no, it makes it look like I'm talking to a mic when I'm actually just loud talking to the computer to give the effect of mic.

[Dave]

That's pretty smart.

[Sass]

Yeah. I hate Battlefield.

[Dave]

No, I don't like it either.

[Sass]

I love it.

[Pat]

Yeah, it's.

[Dave]

I mean, I don't know.

[Sass]

Battlefield, they, like, pumped it for no reason.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Sass]

What gun? Your loadout.

[Dave]

Kilo on Battlefield.

[Sass]

On cod.

[Dave]

Oh, Jackal.

[Sass]

So it was confusion about. So people thought. So people thought. I didn't know what I was doing when I sent out this.

[Pat]

I think the fact that you deleted the comment made people wonder why you did that.

[Sass]

Because I knew that people were gonna respond to it.

[Ron]

What'd you think about Dave's response to it? You gotta talk right into that.

[Sass]

Like that. Don't put it in my throat.

[Ron]

So Dave was like. He was like. He thought that was below the. Or like. Like pat over the line to talk about that.

[Sass]

On the show. On his show.

[Ron]

On the unnamed show. Yeah.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Ron]

He said he thought that that comment was, like, too far. What do you think?

[Sass]

Perspective?

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Sass]

I mean, I've known you. I've known you for. For years. I've known you to be a. A motivating factor when it comes to Been loyal in a relationship. I've known you to absolutely adore your wife. I've never known you to Even. Even when we've been out, I've never known you to even look the other way.

[Ron]

And I'll have that Venmo coming to you. Thank you.

[Sass]

So, perspective, right? All about perspective. So, you know, it's just different strokes for different folks. Obviously, it's touchy, right? It's a touchy subject that people, when you speak about it, it's. It's kind of hard for the. The other person to kind of understand because it's so. It's so touchy. It's so many people involved. But I've never known you to even hide eyes for another woman. And I've been Around you.

[Ron]

All this is true. Don't you guys think? I don't have eyes. Yeah.

[Sass]

Yeah. I mean, not even like.

[Ron]

But I've never heard you guys say this, which is weird. I don't feel like we've not acknowledged that.

[Pat]

I don't have. We didn't feel like we had to.

[Sass]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's a thing that.

[Pat]

This isn't really something that needed to be covered.

[Sass]

Yeah, I think it's something that, you know, it's. We shouldn't even have to talk about.

[Dave]

You know, but agreed. Exactly.

[Ron]

Totally. Totally.

[Dave]

You play any Halo?

[Sass]

I've seen a movie.

[Dave]

Have you seen the movie you never played, though? No, I was gonna say you guys should. 1v1 in Halo.

[Pat]

No, I. I suggested Padel.

[Francis]

Oh, yeah.

[Pat]

I saw that you had played Padel.

[Sass]

I'm God awful.

[Ron]

Yeah, we'll have a. Have a match. That'd be fun. For some content.

[Sass]

I'm down for content.

[Ron]

For content.

[Pat]

We can do that.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Pat]

I. I suggested we play for some money, but if.

[Ron]

Oh, for 20,000.

[Sass]

It's not money, though. It's gas.

[Pat]

All right, then let's play for 20,000.

[Sass]

That's not your money, though. That's dad's money, right?

[Pat]

You don't want my dad's money.

[Sass]

I'm. I'm. If.

[Pat]

If it's American currency.

[Sass]

I know, but in. And in comparison to things like guys who've earned.

[Pat]

Right.

[Sass]

You know, close to a hundred million dollars, it's only me and your dad. Like, my son is you.

[Francis]

You.

[Sass]

No disrespect. Trust fund kid.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Sass]

Like, you and my son are exact. You know, So I wouldn't respond to my son if he said something about dad.

[Pat]

Right.

[Sass]

I wouldn't respond to my son if.

[Pat]

Your son said, dad play sports with me, you wouldn't acknowledge that?

[Sass]

No, I'm saying if my son were to blog about me and I had to respond about. I wouldn't respond to it.

[Pat]

He's.

[Sass]

He's my trust fund kid. He's a guy that I.

[Pat]

She's irrelevant is what you're saying.

[Sass]

No, he's the guy that I take care of. The blog is irrelevant.

[Pat]

Okay. Yeah.

[Ron]

So you're gonna have problems with Nate now. Now you're gonna have problems with Nate, Say the blogs are relevant.

[Pat]

And yet you're here.

[Sass]

Yeah, I had to. Obviously, I had to respond. I couldn't respond via blog and my.

[Pat]

I had to respond by that same logic. I responded.

[Sass]

You were. This was like.

[Ron]

You.

[Pat]

It was out of sort of out of scope with what you had initially done, is that. No, no. I mean, I'm like, my response was too much.

[Sass]

Hell no.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Sass]

It was perfect. It worked. It worked. It got 4.6 million views on. Got some people to talk about at the office. But at the same time, I. I.

[Pat]

Think, by the way, you need to revise the way you measure virality.

[Sass]

I mean, that's.

[Pat]

Again, nobody gives a. About Twitter.

[Sass]

I know, but perspective. Perspective.

[Pat]

What does that mean, perspective?

[Sass]

It's a lot of people who do care about Twitter, I think. Yeah. You know, I'm so in my world, right? Twitter world, basketball world, a lot of stuff. Originally lived on Twitter before a lot.

[Pat]

Right.

[Sass]

So I'm. I'm not real big on tick tock, but I'm real big on tick tock, you know, so, like, it's. It's just different. You know, I can go out there and I can tweet some and it can get. Get, I don't know, a couple million views. So that's how I look at it. But no, you did a good job. I was nice. Very nice. I mean, it was probably some of your best work ever, if you. In the scheme of things.

[Ron]

I think it was good. I think it was. It was his best. Some of his best work.

[Sass]

Yeah, exactly what I said. I'm glad that I was able to motivate you and start you up.

[Ron]

That said, it is very awkward in here right now. You don't feel that in the air right now?

[Sass]

I came here before I hopped on the bike.

[Ron]

I know, but this is a different energy in the air. I feel like I'd be dishonest if I didn't acknowledge that.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Sass]

But I don't know why that. My thing is, I'm not acting different. You feel me? Like, it's not a different space for me. I. So if.

[Pat]

If there's a way.

[Ron]

You say you didn't bring a cameraman.

[Dave]

That's true.

[Sass]

Yeah, I didn't bring him. He actually didn't follow me.

[Ron]

So let me guess what happened. You walked in and g. Like, they're upstairs recording right now, fucking pop Dave's dick out of his mouth.

[Sass]

And no, no, I came in, I say, what's up, everybody? I said, where's little Francis?

[Pat]

Or literally the same. Actually, I think I'm bigger than you are.

[Sass]

Again, perspective. Yeah, again, I looked up.

[Pat]

I looked up your size to see if I needed to start taking self defense classes.

[Sass]

No, you don't have to. Not with me. I'm not a. I'm not a Violent. I'm not.

[Pat]

When you didn't respond, I was like, oh, he's gonna kill me.

[Ron]

No. When you cycled through the responses in your mind, what were the potential responses back?

[Sass]

Nothing.

[Ron]

It was never not. It was always nothing.

[Sass]

Zero.

[Ron]

But what. But you being like, that's your dad's money does make it seem like that's a shot back.

[Sass]

But that's. That would be me not speaking the truth. That's the truth. I mean, I'm not saying things that I can't. That's googleable. I. I can. I can find that easy. Anyone can find that easy. You know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. So for me, it wasn't. Wasn't a response at all. It was great. It got. It got the office something to talk about. I got two, three guys, you know, go on platforms and speak about me. I mean, that's good.

[Ron]

It's good for business.

[Sass]

Polarizing figure. Obviously you love me and you hate me. That's how my shit was in NBA. That's how my shit go be.

[Pat]

Anyway.

[Sass]

It was actually very strategic, very chess move. Say something on. I know exactly what I said before I said it. Deleted it. I know what that was going to do before it did it. I stayed quiet on Twitter, didn't say nothing, because the response obviously wouldn't have did any justice. It was actually brilliant. I'm glad I got people to do some work in this office. Right. I'm glad that people actually went viral. Right. But you got to think this is. I mean, this is what he worked his whole life for, right?

[Ron]

Being a good writer.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Sass]

So, like, it's perfect. It's actually perfect. It worked out for everybody.

[Ron]

So paddle match for 20 for $20,000.

[Sass]

I don't know how to play. I want put my money behind something. I don't know how to play.

[Pat]

That's fair.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Ron]

What about, like.

[Dave]

What about. Yeah, what. What are you gonna say different now?

[Pat]

My answer to that would be exactly his answer.

[Dave]

Well, yeah, you don't. You don't want to put 20,000.

[Pat]

I mean, that is a lot of money.

[Sass]

We can go. We can go paddle. We can go paddle. Then we can go basketball. You know what I'm saying? We could do two sports. Something that you're.

[Pat]

But I would just immediately forfeit the basketball.

[Sass]

You win.

[Pat]

You're better than me at basketball. Holy.

[Sass]

No, no, no, no. But I'm. I mean, you're better than me in paddle. Holy.

[Pat]

You know what I'm saying was I didn't. You didn't There was no clips, really, of you hitting the ball when you played. I didn't. So I couldn't. I didn't know if that was, like, something you frequently do or not.

[Sass]

No, no, no. I just saw my play. I don't know, 100 a day type of.

[Dave]

You play every day?

[Sass]

Some. No, not every day. Probably once a month. Not every day.

[Ron]

What's a different thing you guys could do for, like, a fun. To make it maybe fun again? I don't know. Is that crazy?

[Pat]

No, I. I was open to that, too. I. I don't really. Really. It's hard for me to know the true feelings that Pat has.

[Sass]

I have no feelings.

[Ron]

I think you're a little annoyed.

[Sass]

No, not. You know, me.

[Ron]

Yeah, I know, but I think, like. I think if you weren't annoyed, you'd be like. Like, yeah, your dad's funny and, like, you laugh at her instead of, like, glaring through his soul.

[Sass]

I looked at you the whole time.

[Ron]

But when you said it, you were just like, you.

[Sass]

No, I think. I think you searched you. I think I literally looked at you the whole time.

[Ron]

Well, then I think. I mean, yeah, if it's funny and fun, I think that's. That'll be ideal.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Dave]

I'm more serious, and I think we go Halo. I think Halo's the only way.

[Sass]

I mean, the game.

[Dave]

Yeah. 1v1.

[Sass]

I don't know. I. I don't. They shoot with.

[Pat]

If she's never played. You're pitching a similar issue here.

[Dave]

I'm just trying to gas your Halo skills, bro.

[Pat]

I don't wanna. I don't want to just. Just have an unfair thing in the same way that I don't think Pat would want to challenge me to basketball. What do you accomplish by dunking all over me?

[Sass]

I don't. I don't dunk.

[Ron]

Maybe, like, we made a new sport or something like that. Like, we create a new sport that you guys both could have, like, a crack at, like a challenge.

[Pat]

I don't know. I don't really know where we go from here. I. I don't. I said what I. I. You said what you said. I said what I said.

[Sass]

It was so offensive for you, huh? You felt that?

[Pat]

What's that?

[Sass]

You.

[Pat]

No, it's just the way things go here. It's like, okay, you. You serve it up. All right, I'll return the serve. And.

[Sass]

But.

[Pat]

But then after I did that, I mean, it was.

[Sass]

Some of you, literally, it was great work by you, like.

[Pat]

Yeah, I know.

[Sass]

Phenomenal work.

[Pat]

I know.

[Sass]

It was a good yeah, I'm talking about. It was. It was. It was great. I know. You know, your dad and family are very excited for your lesson. I know. They are.

[Pat]

They like your family out of it. I knew. I knew where to not. Not cross lines.

[Sass]

It's no such thing in war. This is the difference between.

[Pat]

I don't think you. I don't think you mean that, because I could go back to the blog and go places. That would really be a problem.

[Sass]

I don't think any place is a.

[Pat]

Problem, but you're not pushing it that hard with me to warrant me doing that.

[Sass]

It's war.

[Pat]

It's not war. It is.

[Sass]

It's actually.

[Pat]

Ultimately, if it were more than the second you walked in here, we would have fucking started fighting.

[Sass]

No, not that type of war, but it's a. It's a different type of war. Yeah. Yeah, it's a different type of war where you can talk about things and you can talk about things about people, and it's, you know, it's. It's nothing below the belt. Everything's go.

[Pat]

No, I don't agree with that.

[Sass]

Yeah, I don't agree with that.

[Pat]

I know John doesn't agree with that.

[Sass]

Yeah, I'm from Chicago. You can't find a target.

[Pat]

You.

[Sass]

You shoot up the house. You know, that's how it goes. You can't find. You don't know where. These days, that. Fuck it. Who's ever on the corner gets his ass shot. That's how it goes.

[Ron]

But would you be willing to, like, play within the blog rules of it of there being, like, some lines?

[Sass]

No. No, I'm not the blog guy.

[Pat]

Then let me ask you.

[Sass]

I'm this guy. I'm straight. I'm straight face to face.

[Pat]

Aren't there things that if I said them, you would be like, that's over the line.

[Sass]

No way.

[Pat]

Yes way.

[Sass]

You asked me a question. I answered. You don't like my answer, That'll mean that it's that you're right because you don't like my answer.

[Pat]

Okay, fair enough.

[Sass]

Yeah, I said no. You retracted and said.

[Ron]

I don't want you to test that.

[Pat]

I'm not gonna test it. I don't want to do that. I'm not gonna do that. I don't believe in that. That's where I stand, is that I do think that there are things that are out of bounds. And so far, Pat has not said anything to me that I deem out of bounds.

[Sass]

And my. And my. I don't think anything is out of bounds. I think Everything's fair game.

[Pat]

But then you can't be mad that I responded to your initial volley.

[Sass]

Okay. For the third time today.

[Pat]

But you say. And then you're sitting there with this like passive aggressive simmering energy. I've sit bur through the door.

[Sass]

Obviously I have to make it dramatic. I had a guy follow me from a camera.

[Pat]

Fair enough.

[Sass]

I took one.

[Pat]

But to say that you're not mad or whatever is. Is. Is crazy. That's not true.

[Sass]

It's not crazy. That's actually the truth. Anytime I've done any time of son of boy dad pod, I've actually sat in this position. In this position.

[Pat]

That's a totally different. There's before and there's after.

[Sass]

Yeah, but no, ain't no before. It's not that. It's not. Trust me. I'm not waking up up thinking, oh my God, I need to respond.

[Pat]

I don't think you are.

[Sass]

Yeah, no.

[Pat]

By the way, you can. Brown will tell you. I texted him and I was like, the fact that Pat has not responded means that he is winning.

[Sass]

Duh.

[Pat]

But then you came in and responded.

[Sass]

I have to though. How can I not come in the office and not respond? Right. And that's my response. It was great.

[Pat]

To your point that it was some of my best work. I have to say that John, catalyzing an earlier launch of this new awesome podcast that you guys are doing is thrilling as well.

[Sass]

So you didn't.

[Pat]

We heard it was going to be January.

[Sass]

That's what I heard too.

[Pat]

So for it to be coming out now, I mean, all. All. A rising tide floats all boats.

[Sass]

So you thought that this is just. You believe in coincidences?

[Pat]

No.

[Sass]

Oh, so.

[Pat]

Cause in action it helps everything.

[Ron]

I think that we got to get like a fidget counter on little Sasquatch and like, oh, no, I'm cool as a cucumber. Fidgeted.

[Dave]

I'm cool as a cucumber.

[Ron]

You pick the same piece of dirt at the bottom of your.

[Dave]

No, it's playing with this.

[Sass]

Especially on the eyes.

[Ron]

Play with what?

[Dave]

Fly.

[Sass]

I do. Only person I have an issue with is the. Who's the old ball guy?

[Ron]

Gaz.

[Sass]

No, the guy you're troll large. You're trolling today. The guy that's on the unnamed show.

[Pat]

Oh, Kirk.

[Francis]

That's.

[Sass]

Is that him? I don't wanna. Yeah, that's all the person I have issue with.

[Dave]

If you and Kirk have issues, we gotta. That's gotta be a separate podcast.

[Pat]

You don't like him.

[Ron]

No.

[Sass]

No, no.

[Pat]

You don't Want smoke?

[Dave]

I'm not trying to get involved in that.

[Sass]

I think he hit me with the papaya. Seems like a. And I'm like, wow. Now, like that. I've never heard that.

[Ron]

But nothing's too far, though.

[Pat]

Yeah, but you should go after him.

[Sass]

No, I'm here with you.

[Pat]

I know, but that's a guy that's worth fighting.

[Sass]

No, he's an old man, man. No one. Oh, it's great. I got you guys. I got. Listen, I got Atlanta Hawks. I got the Atlanta Falcons. I got Trey Young to talk about me. I got Brandon Jennings. I got Gilbert Arenas. I got Nick Young to talk about me. Right? I got. I had the whole summer. I don't even play in the NBA anymore. And I had the whole NB in NBA talking about me right through the summer and into the season to barstool. I have everyone talk me at Barstool. Brilliant. I always win. What do you mean? I'm a kid from Chicago. I've made over a hundred million dollars.

[Pat]

I would love to see. I would. Life is too great to see you go after Kirk, man.

[Sass]

No, I'm not going out. I didn't. I didn't like the.

[Ron]

They called you a. Yeah.

[Sass]

Like, come on. Of course not. If he was. If it was someone who tried to rob him, I'm the first one that protect him. I'm not.

[Ron]

Oh, you're talking physically.

[Sass]

Yeah, like, you know, by everything. But I mean. And obviously I want to put Tyler on the spot. Right? But. But yeah, I. When I send the out.

[Ron]

Deleted it.

[Sass]

It was instantly. Oh, yeah, just go, hit. I knew someone's gonna pick it up. That's exactly how it goes.

[Pat]

Why did you write the first comment with the, like, fire emojis?

[Sass]

Because it was fire. It was like, good.

[Pat]

It was.

[Sass]

What do you mean? That's how it goes. That's what fire means. Like, it was really good.

[Francis]

Good.

[Pat]

And you deleted that one too.

[Sass]

No, that one stayed. That stayed. Oh, yeah, I just deleted.

[Pat]

But that one was first. And then you wrote the Kevin thing.

[Sass]

Yeah, Put it out there. People see Pat Bear respond. Okay.

[Ron]

Say anything, though. Do you feel like he was trying to have his feelings hurt, though?

[Sass]

He was laughing.

[Ron]

Like, if he's like, dude, he was out there like this.

[Sass]

He was laughing too hard. Don't laugh. You go. You go. Don't be the instigator. You go, say some. Be a gangster to say it. Don't agree with the guy who's just next to you.

[Francis]

And you just.

[Ron]

You gave Fidoberg credit for saying It. And then you gave Kevin the jab.

[Sass]

Yeah, I like fighter word though. He's a beast, bro. Like, he's so, so talented.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Ron]

I thought you just said he doesn't do.

[Sass]

I mean, I mean, you don't, you don't, right? I mean, I'm, I'm, I, I'm not going behind anything I've said like, like Francis don't do. Son of a boy. Dad, no one knows him.

[Ron]

Not true. Speak up for my guy, Francis.

[Sass]

He can speak himself. This is the thing. For himself via blog. And when I'm here, he's not speaking up. He could speak up for himself. I'm talking to him. I'm not talking to you. Don't fight this battles. Be a gangster.

[Pat]

I give you a year.

[Sass]

Yeah, to do what?

[Pat]

You're not going to get renewed.

[Sass]

I promise you. I am not sweating about anything about anything.

[Pat]

Like just, you know, I've made, I quoted Gladiators $4 million. As Maximus said, the time for honoring yourself will soon be at an end.

[Sass]

I promise you. And I not I will sit in my one of five homes throughout the US and I will sit like this and watch my kids jump in and out the pool and won't have a worry.

[Pat]

I do not deny or begrudge you.

[Sass]

And I don't. And I want, I don't have to wait until someone dies for me to be financially stable.

[Pat]

I already have the money.

[Sass]

I know. I'm saying, you know what I'm saying? So, like, I'm not that type of guy that has to like, like, you know, oh, I have to. No, I put in my work already. I'm 37 years old. I made over $4 million in barstool. I'm, I'm. This is light.

[Pat]

We're all thrilled for you.

[Sass]

Yeah, thank you. This is light. I appreciate that. I'm thrilled for you too. You went to Harvard and you work at barstool. I mean, you're a huge success.

[Pat]

I'm happy with what I.

[Ron]

Nobody's mad. Nobody's mad.

[Sass]

So nobody's mad. Yeah, everyone. You know, I got some guys that went to Harvard. Jeremy Land coach Tommy. I'm of a couple Amaker. It's funny though.

[Francis]

Rome.

[Sass]

After my freshman year in college, I got a call from Tommy Amaker. He's originally the coach from Michigan. And I was going to go to Michigan. And when my coach left, he called like, yo, Pat, you want to come to Harvard play? I could have been Harvard with him.

[Ron]

That would have been classic.

[Sass]

Yeah. Have him doing my test yeah, Putting his underwear, putting them on in the bathroom, you know, pulling people upside down. Shit.

[Ron]

But nobody. Are you sure you're not mad?

[Sass]

It's just, it's entertaining now.

[Ron]

Yes, people will enjoy it, but it's definitely making this uncomfortable.

[Sass]

Why? It helps the show.

[Ron]

I mean, it does, I guess, but like it just turned into like a whole different thing. I feel, I feel like it's like pretty juicy now. No, and I'm sure people will love it. I'm sure the numbers will be great, but the energy doesn't feel good to me. I'll be honest.

[Sass]

Hey listen, Ron, you know me, I'm the same dog every time. Every single time you see me, I'm the same cat.

[Ron]

That's it. Well, the new show starting today with Jason Williams, J. Will, Jay Will's gonna be in the building. I think he might have just arrived at the office. But this was so fun. This was actually a blast.

[Sass]

What do you wanna talk about there?

[Dave]

Right now we're talking about literacy. Literacy and functioning literates or functioning illiterates versus a non functioning illiterate.

[Sass]

Help me. Tell me that. Like I'm a three year old.

[Ron]

So I just looked it up on Chat GPT and it said functional illiterate describes someone who has reading and writing skills insufficient for managing daily living. But it's distinct from strict illiteracy which is the inability to read or write in any language.

[Sass]

Okay.

[Dave]

Yeah, so we were just talking about.

[Ron]

How about that?

[Dave]

Yeah, that pretty much. And like breaking that down.

[Ron]

There's a. There's. Yeah, there's. Yeah, there's a. In the Mississippi Delta there's a significant amount of Teacher America. People who work for Teacher America.

[Sass]

Was your. Anyone was the kid that was scared to read in school or not know, I think that's kind of where it kind of starts from. The confidence of it.

[Ron]

Maybe.

[Sass]

Yeah. Like I was a kid that was like I was so hyped to read cuz I, you know, I know how to read a little bit.

[Ron]

So like it was like.

[Sass]

Yeah. And I was, you know, the cat on the dog said this, you know, like I was very excited. I think confidence is a key.

[Ron]

Confidence is key for sure.

[Sass]

100%.

[Ron]

Yeah. It's on the parents if I feel like. Yeah, you got to be.

[Sass]

Is it on the parents?

[Ron]

It is, yeah. Or the guardians.

[Sass]

Yeah. I think, think at that age teachers are parents also. So.

[Ron]

Yeah. And that's where we were.

[Sass]

Yeah. Shout out to the teachers.

[Dave]

Shout out to the teachers.

[Pat]

For sure.

[Sass]

Shout out to the te. They don't make enough?

[Dave]

No.

[Sass]

Oh, he was a teacher. St. A tutor.

[Dave]

He was.

[Sass]

But he made a lot. 145,000 though. Tutoring. Yeah, I think so.

[Dave]

It's solid.

[Sass]

Not bad. Not bad at all.

[Ron]

It's a good amount of money.

[Sass]

I can hire him. You can teach my son, hun.

[Pat]

I would do that.

[Ron]

Of course.

[Pat]

No problem. Literally, I would do that.

[Sass]

Yeah. What you mean you went to Harvard? Of course. It would be dope as. Love that.

[Pat]

Same.

[Ron]

All right, we gotta, we gotta finish it up. I'll be down a little bit.

[Sass]

We could finish here.

[Ron]

No, bro. You're kicking me out? I'm not kicking you out. Why do we just have to finish the show?

[Sass]

I finished the show with you before with the issue. Why is this you now?

[Ron]

Because there's obviously a issue. I'm not gonna play dumb, okay, but.

[Sass]

That'S not an issue with me. I don't understand why, why.

[Ron]

Obviously it is though. You're going back and forth.

[Pat]

I stopped. I, I, I, Yeah, it's finish.

[Ron]

Yeah, but it's his show. He has to be able to finish the show. His name's on the show.

[Sass]

No problem. You're right.

[Ron]

We're. I'm going to be down in a minute.

[Sass]

My dog. I appreciate it. Good to see you all.

[Dave]

Good to see you.

[Ron]

What's the name of the new show?

[Sass]

What is it called? Hoops.

[Ron]

Hooping and Hollering.

[Pat]

Actually is a good name.

[Ron]

Hooping and hollering. Subscribe. Subscribe to the show today.

[Dave]

College football season is in full swing, which means tailgates, cheering crowds and the excitement of being in the stands before kickoff are all happening too. Ever find yourself at a tailgate and decide to grab tickets last minute? That's where game time comes in. The Game time app. You know, I actually use an example of this when I was doing these ad reads a couple weeks ago and I was talking about when we went to that tailgate.

[Ron]

Well, you just got really real.

[Dave]

Oh, I did. When we went to that tailgate for the Eagles game.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Dave]

And then we didn't go to the game.

[Ron]

It was so dumb.

[Dave]

That was a pre game. That was a pre game time life.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Ron]

That we, that was a pre game time fumble.

[Dave]

Exactly.

[Ron]

We didn't know what we needed.

[Dave]

We didn't. And now it's like if we had game time, we would have been at.

[Ron]

That game 1000% day for a game.

[Dave]

We were right outside the stadium.

[Ron]

Yeah. Would have been so easy.

[Dave]

But now we have game time. It's incredibly easy to use the game time. They got the Game Time Guarantee, which means you can Trust you'll get 100 authentic tickets on time and at the best price. Plus, fees are always included. So you get so what you see is what you pay. Take the guesswork out of buying college football tickets with Game Time. Download the Game Time app, create an account and use code BOYDAD for 20 off your first purchase terms. Apply. Again, create an account and redeem code B O Y D a D for $20 off. Swipe, tap Ticket Go down the Game Time app today Son of a Boy.

[Pat]

Dad is brought to you by Rocket Money. You might think you have a solid handle on your budget. Maybe your spreadsheet says you should have an extra thousand dollars left over each month, but if your bank account isn't reflecting that, something's off. Rocket Money helps you track every dollar, uncover hidden spending, and take control of your finances. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money shows you all your expenses in one place, including subscriptions you forgot about. If you see a subscription you no longer want, Rocket Money will help you cancel it. Rocket Money has saved users over $2.5 billion, including over 880 million in canceled subscriptions alone. Their 10 million members save up to $740 a year when they use all of the app's premium features. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com Boyd today that's RocketMoney.com boy RocketMoney.com boy this podcast is sponsored by Ro Sass.

[Ron]

I remember you had a candid conversation with me recently where you express wanting thicker, harder, fuller erection.

[Dave]

Of course, who doesn't?

[Ron]

We went back and forth just trying to figure out the right solution, racking our brains. And then I said, what about Ro? What about the 2 in 1 prescription treatment for stronger, harder erections? They hit the bloodstream fast because they dissolve under the tongue and they give you a boost to last longer. So sex is more fun. I made that one rhyme myself. The copy was going a different way and I said, you know what? This is too fun not to talk about with a little bit of a shingle energy. And yes, ROE can give guys thicker, longer erections than you. You usually have because they're fuller. So I'm talking about a full erection as if it had been fully filled.

[Dave]

Of course.

[Ron]

And of course, if approved, treatment will ship directly to your door if prescribed. New sexual health patients get $15 off Sparks on a recurring plan. Connect with our provider at Roe Co sun to find out if Prescription Row Sparks are right for you. That's Ro co sun for 15. Off your first order.

[Dave]

Talk about task. Did you finish it?

[Pat]

I have a. I have a. More. I have a better thing to say, which is I watched a movie. Unbelievable. And I don't really know, maybe people are talking about. It's the one on Netflix about the, like, nuclear launch that's coming.

[Dave]

What is it called?

[Pat]

I knew you were going to ask me that. House of Dynamite. Oh, it's Catherine Bigelow from Hurt Locker.

[Dave]

Oh, really? Oh, I did hear that. There was that.

[Pat]

Yeah. You know, I think people had mixed feelings about. I thought it was spectacular.

[Dave]

I'll definitely watch that.

[Pat]

I really did. It's unbelievably tense.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Like, I'm not sure which weed you should smoke before you watch it, but I. You know, my neck hurt after from just being like.

[Ron]

Really?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Dave]

And it's a movie. It's not a documentary.

[Pat]

Yeah, It's. It's. I thought it was excellent.

[Dave]

Is it.

[Ron]

It's true, though. There's a new Jesus.

[Dave]

It's.

[Pat]

It's a look at what, you know, may. Maybe how things might transpire if all of a sudden a intercontinental ballistic nuclear weapon were launched from, like, nuke. North Korea. Yeah.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Pat]

At Chicago.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Is where it's going. And there's only 19 minutes. That's how long it takes to get here.

[Dave]

Really?

[Pat]

That's how much time you have.

[Dave]

That's insane.

[Pat]

I know.

[Dave]

And if you told me right now we have 19 minutes, I'd be like, what are we gonna do?

[Pat]

Call Big Cat?

[Dave]

Try to go to the Holland Tunnel.

[Pat]

Yeah. And I don't know how much of it's true to actual procedure, but, you know, the way that. The way they have it in the. In the movie is, like, there's a place in the remote.

[Sass]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Part of Alaska where we have the ability to launch, like, countermeasures.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And the likelihood of them working is maybe not as high as we might think.

[Dave]

Really?

[Pat]

Again, I have no idea.

[Dave]

But we don't know if this is true.

[Pat]

I don't know how true it is.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And I would wonder, why Are they.

[Ron]

Trying to make us look weak?

[Pat]

Dude, who wrote this? China? I wonder. Everything we say, they likened it to hitting a bullet with a bullet.

[Dave]

Oh, I hate that.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Hate that.

[Dave]

Hate those odds.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Well, it'll probably go up, not down, right?

[Pat]

No, but it would have to. It would have to perfectly meet, you.

[Ron]

Know, oh, oh, got it, got it. So we have. No.

[Dave]

That would be tough watching them just pass each other. Just two ships in the night.

[Ron]

Well, there goes.

[Dave]

There it goes.

[Ron]

And is ours even aimed at them or is it just like to hit that?

[Dave]

I'm assuming it's like it goes up.

[Pat]

And I would hope it would. I would hope it would chase it and then attack it from behind, but I don't know.

[Ron]

You think that they blessed us with it, like a iron dome that we don't know about?

[Dave]

I would assume so. Right.

[Pat]

If we've given Israel Iron Dome, I would imagine we have a. That was probably hand me down, but.

[Ron]

It was just like.

[Pat]

That was generation one and we now have generation 17. That's my hope.

[Dave]

Yeah. The Iron Dome is like. I mean it still lets.

[Ron]

But Israel is like. You could put a dome on Israel. So does every city have its own dome?

[Dave]

Yeah, that's what. I don't. I guess we would know if we had an iron dome because it's like right in the center of the city in Israel, isn't it?

[Pat]

What are you talking about?

[Dave]

Isn't it like a sphere?

[Pat]

Are you.

[Dave]

No, I know there's not. I know there's not actually a dome covering Israel. I know it's like a missile defense thing. Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Dave]

But you can still see where it is in Israel.

[Pat]

No, I think that they have launch sites all around the perimeter.

[Dave]

Oh really?

[Pat]

And that those just knock down.

[Dave]

I thought they just had like 30 missiles just dead center of Tel Aviv.

[Ron]

I thought it was like an umbrella that pops up right over the city.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Have you guys ever seen the. Or read the Dome by Stephen King?

[Pat]

No.

[Dave]

Neither.

[Ron]

You're just trying to find out if it's a good watch.

[Pat]

I like.

[Dave]

There's a good Simpsons movie.

[Pat]

I like the person you become after. After discomfort. You're. You're like a nice person.

[Dave]

Oh yeah. You just got it. I just.

[Ron]

Your parents must have fought too.

[Dave]

No, my parents don't. I guess they did when I was really young, but not really. No.

[Ron]

That's probably how you got funny as.

[Dave]

From them fighting.

[Ron]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Maybe because afterwards you'd have to sit down your sisters and do a type 5.

[Dave]

No, definitely not.

[Pat]

I saw an Asian woman knitting on the subway yesterday and I thought of you.

[Ron]

Yeah, same posture.

[Pat]

I mean, I never saw his posture, but. You mean fully slouched. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, probably.

[Sass]

I.

[Dave]

Sometimes I'll see. Sometimes I'll see people that have the same posture as me.

[Sass]

Me.

[Dave]

And I'll be like, that's Crazy. That's what I look like. Like, other, like, people that. Like a lot of these, like, professional gamers and stuff. Like, they all are, like, super hunched forward.

[Ron]

Dude. I got caught with some nasty posture multiple times. How bad was that posture?

[Dave]

I was, like, drinking the coffee.

[Ron]

Drinking the coffee. And on the bike ride.

[Dave]

Yeah, I saw the bike ride one, too.

[Ron]

Two terrible posture days for me. The bike. I guess I'm, like, leaning forward, but, oh, my God, it's so humbling to watch.

[Francis]

Watch.

[Ron]

I started planking as soon as I saw it. I just.

[Dave]

On the bike, you think you look.

[Ron]

Cool as hell, and then you see me flying around curled. Francis would never know. You have the best posture of all of us.

[Pat]

Of all.

[Ron]

I mean, playing against the slugs.

[Pat]

If I do, it's because I have back pain. And I. I'm conscious of, like, needing to.

[Dave]

This guy's had back pain for his. For the last three years straight.

[Ron]

Three years. Eight years straight. And it doesn't. I try to work on my posture and then don't think about it for one second, and I shrimp out, shrivel up.

[Pat]

I put this. I sit. Now, as you've noticed, I sit with this pillow here. That was something I did a while ago.

[Ron]

You still saw me slouch like a couch.

[Pat]

And it makes me look like I'm sitting so far forward on the couch, but it's the only way not to just become an absolute.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Pat]

You know, Tootsie Roll back here on.

[Dave]

The topic of movies. I tried to watch this movie, the A24 one, bring her back.

[Pat]

Is that the one about the kid? Yeah, you told us about that.

[Dave]

I. Did I talk about that already?

[Pat]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Francis]

Did.

[Dave]

I fully did.

[Pat]

That's okay.

[Dave]

All good. I watched. I watched the Devil's Advocate.

[Pat]

Oh, that's a movie. I've never seen it.

[Dave]

It's. It's. It's all right. It's Pacino, so it's great when he's in it, but it's a little.

[Ron]

He's da's buddy.

[Dave]

He's De Niro's buddy. Not in this, though. Reeves is in it. Keanu reeves.

[Pat]

Austin.

[Dave]

No.

[Pat]

51 points.

[Ron]

No, no, dude, I was. Well, you're tapped in. That was a great night that he had last night. You must have got the ESPN notification.

[Pat]

I did.

[Dave]

Well, Francis is a big ball watcher.

[Pat]

Anytime a white player does something NBA, I. I tune in, you celebrate. I have a notification set.

[Ron]

You have a nice slice of pie. Dude, I was in Iowa this weekend, and we went to a steakhouse. We got A reservation because there were 16 of us. And we got there, it was 45 degrees and they fucking lined us up outside. They're like, we're gonna put the space heaters out. They put one space heater right in the middle of the table. So everybody at the ends was just like buying clothes, like rocking back and forth. It was vicious.

[Dave]

That just reminds me of COVID so much like the.

[Ron]

It was so nasty. I sat right by and there were women there too. And I was not giving up my seat. I was locked in. There was no chance. We got some nasty appetizers. I got the. I got a duck, a nice plate of rare duck, some deep fried appetizers. And I was fine for two hours and then went. One hour before the show, a brick moved into my stomach. Dude, I felt like, you sass. I just had to so bad. For the entire time, I thought I wasn't gonna be able to go on stage. Even in the green room, I was just doubled over, dying.

[Dave]

That's so brutal.

[Ron]

Two Viceroys came up and they were like, dude, it's okay to be nervous. Like, I like snapped at them. I was like, I'm not nervous. I tummy ache. I. I have stomach issues right now. That's crazy. They were 21 year old college kids and they basically like patted me on the head, were like, it's okay to be nervous. And it. I mean, I turned it on for the show, but it followed me for the entire day.

[Dave]

So while you were on stage, you still were like, I gotta take a.

[Ron]

I, no, I like, the adrenaline took over and I was just like going hard. But as soon as it was over, I mean, I got back to the hotel 2:45, I had to wake up at 5:15 to get a flight home. And just the entire ride to the airport, entire way home, just a brick inside of me. And then 12 straight hours of playing the babies, a brick. And then as soon as they went to bed, I was just sitting on the toilet for maybe two hours straight. My wife came in and was like. She was like, I just fed your sons again. She hit me with your sons. So I knew I was in trouble. And I was like, I was wiping your husband's ass.

[Dave]

That's hilarious. I was wiping your husband's ass.

[Pat]

It's amazing. Amazing what adrenaline can do.

[Ron]

It's so crazy.

[Dave]

I've only had once where I've been on stage where I was like, I. And I'm. The adrenaline's going and I still got.

[Ron]

A bad feeling through. Adrenaline is an otherworldly. Force. Being able to have all that going through your body and still pulsing.

[Dave]

Yeah. We were at Comics and in Mohegan. Mohegan Sun.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Dave]

And that was the one where I had to ask the. I had to call my manager at the time and have him call the club and tell them that I needed a modium or else I wasn't going to be able to go up.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Because you're, like, in that green room. Then it's like, behind the bar. No one really comes back. So I was just standing by the bar waiting for a modium.

[Ron]

And there is enough silence of comedy where you kind of have to acknowledge your body.

[Dave]

Yeah.

[Ron]

You know what I mean? Like, you're, like, taking and pauses, like.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Ron]

Timing it out. You're very within yourself, like, doing this show. I'm just, like, doing one thing to another, Just.

[Dave]

Yeah. You feel it.

[Ron]

Yeah. That's nuts. Adrenaline's crazy. So you're saying you. You still go back and think about lacrosse moments that give you anxiety and. Yeah, that's how we started this.

[Pat]

Or recently, I actually. I mean, I did something I never thought my body could do, which was that I ran over an incredibly overweight woman, and I managed to lift her off my car so I could keep going.

[Dave]

Oh, wow.

[Pat]

You peeled her Miracles like that. I think she was looking for her baby underneath the car, and I was like, you don't move my car. Who do you think you are?

[Ron]

Oh, my God. All right, all right. Well, good episode. Subscribe to the podcast, please. Sass said that he'll do Surviving Barstool if we get to 150,000 subscribers before January 1st.

[Pat]

Did you see that? Dave said that he would want you on that spring break show.

[Dave]

He didn't say he would want me on it. He said if I wanted to do it, I couldn't do it.

[Pat]

What would it take to get you to do that?

[Ron]

175,000 subscribers.

[Dave]

$10 million.

[Pat]

Come on, 100 grand. You would do it for sure.

[Dave]

Yeah, obviously, 500 bucks. I would probably do it.

[Pat]

Go fund me. We could absolutely.

[Dave]

There would be.

[Ron]

No there.

[Dave]

I would bring literally nothing.

[Pat]

You say that, but that's exactly what you would bring. And that's what's funny.

[Ron]

It's what you were star from.

[Dave]

No, I think I would bring, like, if I did. If I did Surviving Barstool, I think I would be good in that. But I don't think this. I'm like.

[Ron]

So you're open to that? Surviving Barstool if we get to 150 by January 1st, you'll do it?

[Dave]

Maybe, yeah.

[Pat]

Why is that a maybe? Sure, yeah.

[Dave]

Yeah, I guess I would do that. That's a lot of subscribers.

[Pat]

Yeah, 150, 000 subscribers. If.

[Dave]

I don't know if I can do it though, is the. It's the problem.

[Ron]

I just want the subscribers. I don't give a about it.

[Dave]

Yeah, true.

[Pat]

Yeah, sure.

[Dave]

Yeah. We'll make it 200 then.

[Pat]

Yeah, no, 150 for real.

[Dave]

Do it.

[Pat]

I'll be in Austin November 21st weekend for 24 shows at the Cap City and then Boston for laugh. Boston, December 4th to the 6th. Tickets at Punchup Live, Francis Ellis and.

[Ron]

Tune into the new show with Pat Bev and Jason Wilson. Jason Williams, which Francis storms into the exact same way right after this.

[Pat]

No, there's nothing wrong. I'm not mad.

[Dave]

I'm gonna be in Chicago November 13th through the 15th, and then I'm also going to be in Baltimore the week after that. Chicago's almost sold out, so get tickets now if you want to go. Thank you. We will see you guys on Thursday.

[Francis]

Close was over still still underground so I looked older to you came around I was only falling one way I was only falling one way.

[Ron]

Days.

[Francis]

Were drifting for was I so know that you listen Now I come alive I was only falling one way I was only falling one way I was only falling one way I was on your phone in my vanish to your eyes did you realize no one can take me alive I was only falling one away Sam. No one could take me alive.