Shake It Up | Son of a Boy Dad #356

Summary

Son of a Boy Dad #356 – “Shake It Up”

Date: December 2, 2025
Hosts: Francis Ellis, Harry, Roan (Barstool Sports)
Theme: Crafting Adulthood, Maturity, and the Chaos of Real Life

---

Episode Overview

In episode 356, "Shake It Up," Lil Sasquatch (Harry) continues to navigate post-college uncertainty while leaning on producer Roan and cohost Francis for oddball mentorship, life advice, and the distinctly absurd wisdom that underpins the Son of a Boy Dad universe. The conversation pinballs across car brands, pop culture, growing up rich versus real, thrifting, dangerous driving, and the sometimes-fraught journey into adulthood, all delivered in the show’s signature blend of self-deprecation and bro banter.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Lexus & Car Culture Debates (01:38–07:17)

• Roan, Harry, and Francis riff on the annual “Lexus December to Remember” sales event and spar over the status of Lexus in the luxury car hierarchy.
  • Francis: “Lexus, to me, seems they are vying very hard to be in the family of Mercedes and BMW and they simply are not.” (02:16)
  • Harry: “I hate to inform you, Francis. I bought a Lexus no more than two months ago.” (02:49)
• They reminisce about family cars growing up, from minivan upbringings to the social tragedy of driving a Prius in rural Maine.

2. The Comedy of Middle-Class Flex & Faking Wealth (07:01–14:22)

• Roan and Francis poke fun at the image gap between high-end car brands and how owning one can change people’s perception of you.
• Discussion of Taylor Swift’s upbringing, with skepticism over her "everygirl" narrative. They dissect celebrities’ origin stories and the performance of authenticity.
  • Roan: “She can’t claim that. There’s no shame in having a beautiful house in Stone Harbor.” (16:28)

3. Pop Culture Rabbit Holes

Euphoria & Generation TV (23:52–29:46)

• Francis confesses to re-watching Euphoria, sparking a comedic debate about taste, prestige TV, and “girl TV” vs. “boy TV.”
  • Roan: “Re-watching Euphoria though is crazy.” (29:19)
  • Francis: “It’s that good of a show. I would honestly put it at top five shows I’ve ever seen.” (29:23)
• Outer Banks, Shake It Up, and other generational favorites get roasted.
• The psychology of "blind hating" on popular things is explored.
  • Roan: “I’ve always been just a blind hater of...white people TV shows and movies. You kind of have to be.” (29:59)
  • Harry: “Disliking something before you give it a chance to hurt you.”

Movie & TV Structure: Suspense, Classic Films (31:28–35:32)

• In-depth (and hilarious) praise of suspenseful films like Silence of the Lambs, Mare of Easttown, and Zodiac.

4. Suspicion, Guilt, and Good Deeds (39:21–44:42)

• A tangent about Paige Spiranac’s anonymous charity donation during a golf event, the nature of public backlash, and the performativity (or authenticity) of online outrage.
  • Harry: “No better way to quell a dirty conscience.”
  • Francis: “She didn’t expect that to come out.”
• Francis’s take on being recast publicly as the “good guy” despite seeing himself as an “agent of chaos.”

5. Death Threat Discourse & the Internet's Dark Side (41:36–46:44)

• The hosts mock the inflation of “tens of thousands of death threats” as a claim.
  • Francis: “Who do you think you are, Bin Laden?” (41:36)
• Discussion of how online parasocial relationships drive mob behavior and performative hate.

6. Swimming Woes & Memories (53:05–59:44)

• Francis describes his struggles with swimming laps, the agony of water trapped in ears, and the mechanics of freestyle breathing.
• Talk detours to the legendary “bad Olympian swimmer” and the bizarre qualities that make swimming’s butterfly stroke so over-the-top.
  • Francis: “The butterfly is insane. It looks cool though. It’s the most gorilla technique of swimming.” (58:56)

7. Driving Faux Pas & Left Lane Anxiety (60:09–65:53)

• Harry recounts a driving scare where cops flashed him for "left lane camping."
  • Roan (teasing): “You got your man card ripped out of your hands in front of your whole family.” (63:50)
• They riff on the regional differences in road culture and how close calls on the highway can lead to existential self-doubt.

8. Thrifting, Resale Culture, and Guilt (73:24–77:09)

• The hosts debate the honesty of thrift and donation programs, the possibility of secondhand market exploitation, and the weird satisfaction of directly handing items to people who need them.
• Francis tells an “urban treasure” story about donating a humidor of old cigars.

9. Travel Fears & Customs Paranoia (77:09–84:36)

• Francis voices anxiety about bringing new Japanese clothes back through U.S. customs and whether Reddit horror stories are believable.
  • Roan: “Reddit’s filled with paranoid fucking schizophrenics. You don’t got to listen to them.” (82:30)
• The group reassures him that customs rarely cares—unless you’re smuggling mass merchandise or raw fish.

10. Wrap-Up: Upcoming Shows & Final Jokes

• The crew plugs upcoming stand-up dates and bidding farewell, bantering about their holiday plans and continued search for jeans that can stand upright.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Francis on Lexus Status: “If I showed up at a girl’s house in an Acura, she’d be like, do you work for Uber?” (02:30)
• On Celebrity Backstories: “Rick Ross was a corrections officer? It changes how you listen to his music.” – Roan (15:28)
• On ‘Billy Elliot’ Fable:
  • Francis, deadpan: “That didn’t happen in my town. That wasn’t real. Billy Elliot. Unfortunately, it’s Billy Elliot again.” (22:49–22:54)
• On Euphoria vs Outer Banks Taste Wars:
  • Roan: “Outer Banks was phenomenal—well, phenomenal is a stretch. It was entertaining.” (27:42)
  • Francis: “Now I know what you’re into and I know what I’m into.” (27:52)
• On Thriving as a Hater: “People should be allowed to just hate on something.” – Roan (29:40)
• On the butterfly stroke: “It’s the most gorilla technique of swimming. Like push-ups off the water.” – Francis (58:59)
• Roan, dismissing customs paranoia: “Reddit’s filled with paranoid fucking schizophrenics.” (82:30)

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Lexus Banter / Car Hierarchy: 01:38–07:17
• Taylor Swift / Celebrity Backstories: 14:22–23:29
• TV Taste Wars (Euphoria, Outer Banks): 23:52–29:46
• Suspense Movie Talk (Silence of the Lambs, Zodiac): 31:28–35:32
• Golf Donation Story & Death Threats: 39:21–46:44
• Swimming Struggles & Techniques: 53:05–59:44
• Left Lane Camping & Driving Faux Pas: 60:09–65:53
• Thrifting & Clothing Donations: 73:24–77:09
• Travel Paranoia & Customs: 77:09–84:36

---

Tone & Style

Loose, irreverent, self-aware, and digression-heavy—the hosts combine satirical philosophizing and flippant confession in a way that blends sincerity with bit-driven comedy.

---

Final Takeaways

This episode is less about clear lessons and more about the absurdity of adulthood in modern America—from navigating status signals and pop culture, to the struggles of swimming in a lap pool or the “existential dread” of airport customs. Lil Sasquatch’s “education” via the older, slightly wiser Roan and Francis is every bit as scattershot and entertaining as college itself.

Listen if:
You want an hour-plus hang with three comic minds parsing the dumbest, deepest, and weirdest parts of modern twenty- and thirtysomething life.

Transcript

[Harry]

Hey, son of a boy. Dad Listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. I'm not going back to college to be your friend.

[Francis]

I'm going so I can get Uber one for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber eats.

[Harry]

I'm there for $0 delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 10% off smoothies and 6% Uber credits back on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think college is for. Get Uber for students a membership to save on Uber and Uber eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just 4.99amonth. Savings may vary. Eligibility and member terms apply.

[Roan]

This podcast is sponsored by Goldbelly.

[Francis]

Unwrap the magic of Gold Belly with.

[Roan]

America's most iconic food gifts shipped nationwide. Whether it's the one and only Joe Stone Crab from Miami, legendary steaks from Peter Luger's in New York, or decadent cakes for food icons like Ina Garten or Martha Stewart, Goldbelly has the epic gifts your friends and family will rave about for years.

[Francis]

Use promo code gift for free shipping.

[Roan]

And 20% off your first order on goldbelly.com.

[Francis]

Hey, here we are. Son of a Boy dad back at it.

[Roan]

Alrighty. Welcome back to the Son of a Boy dad podcast. Today it is December 1st.

[Francis]

It's 11am Good to see you boys.

[Harry]

Good to see you guys. You look fantastic, both of you.

[Roan]

Good to see you brothers. How are we? Happy holidays.

[Harry]

Happy Lexus December to remember sales events.

[Roan]

Exactly.

[Francis]

Every year that happens. I'm like, they're still in business. Lexus. I haven't seen a Lexus on the road in I don't even know how long.

[Roan]

Really. I feel like I see a good amount of Lexus.

[Francis]

You do?

[Roan]

Oh, yeah.

[Francis]

Are they doing well?

[Harry]

The GX50 is. Is going to put the Range Rover out of business.

[Francis]

That's what they're look Lexus. I don't know.

[Roan]

Go ahead.

[Harry]

No, no. Does Lexus have like a who?

[Roan]

What other brands are they affiliated with?

[Francis]

Are they competitors too?

[Harry]

No, Toyota is like makes Lexus.

[Roan]

Makes Lexus.

[Francis]

Oh, they're under.

[Harry]

Yeah. But to go ahead, go off about Lexus.

[Francis]

Lexus, to me seems that they are vying very hard to be in the family of Mercedes and BMW and they simply are not.

[Harry]

They're not.

[Francis]

They're not. They are in the family of infinity.

[Harry]

Keep going.

[Francis]

Acura. And you know that that tear down where everyone's like, yeah, you make Nice stuff. But, you know, if I showed up at a girl's house in an Acura, she'd be like, do you work for Uber? Is that an Uber Black.

[Roan]

You got to familiarize yourself with the Lexus.

[Harry]

Yeah. I hate to inform you, Francis. I bought Alexis no more than two months ago.

[Roan]

The Lexus is not bad vehicle and.

[Francis]

I am all about it. My grandmother had Alexis. She had the RX330.

[Harry]

Your broke grandmother who if she drove to your grandfather's house and that Lexus.

[Francis]

I figured you. I should have known you had the Lexus because I'm fairly sure you helped me move in that Lexus.

[Harry]

No, no, that was. That was an Acura.

[Francis]

Oh. You okay?

[Roan]

Oh, wow. You've been down the whole tree.

[Francis]

Will you join us on the podcast?

[Roan]

Oh, I'm looking at photos of Lexuses. Right. Lexi, Lexi, Lexi. Just trying to figure out. For some reason I searched up the. I searched the Lexus.

[Francis]

That's Roan's classic there. A little Roan Venus fly trap. Just absolutely seduced me in now.

[Roan]

He sucked you in.

[Francis]

He sucked me into that one.

[Roan]

Sucked you off.

[Harry]

I sucked you so good.

[Francis]

Now I'm gonna have to check and make sure we're not sponsored by fucking companies by Lexus.

[Harry]

The Lexus December to Remember sales event is the best holiday song, though.

[Roan]

Is that what got you?

[Francis]

That's them.

[Harry]

I think that they compose. I think John Williams composed that.

[Roan]

Alexis.

[Francis]

It's.

[Harry]

If that's not enough to tell you that it's a luxury brand. High above the Mercedes is in the BMWs.

[Francis]

Dude, that song is so close to a song from a movie. A Christmas movie that goes.

[Harry]

Home alone.

[Francis]

Home alone.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Yeah. They basically just bit Home Alone.

[Francis]

It's exactly that.

[Harry]

Which is. Is that John Williams? That might be. Actually. I don't know. I say so you don't call.

[Francis]

It would have been totally fine had he had a Lexus to drive out of there. I know. The Wet Bandits.

[Harry]

No, that's why we got it. Because I think it's. I would feel like a. If I was driving around too. Too nice of a car, but I wanted something a little bit nice. You can't undo anything you've said.

[Francis]

No, you can't.

[Harry]

You can't backpedal out of anything.

[Francis]

Unfortunately. It is my truth. Yeah.

[Harry]

And I. I respect that.

[Francis]

It is a douchebag truth of mine. I don't know why I would poo poo a Netflix. I mean, Alexis Netflix.

[Roan]

What's like the premier Lexus.

[Harry]

I've been doing that too. It's the GX550, 2025.

[Francis]

Is that the one you have? Did you get that? You got the top dog. Okay, well, you know, you didn't.

[Harry]

No, I don't think it's the premier.

[Francis]

It's just the SUV that's the big one.

[Harry]

We just needed more space for the.

[Roan]

You have this car.

[Francis]

That thing is huge.

[Roan]

This thing is a machine. It's a fucking tank.

[Francis]

You got to pay for two parking spots in a parking.

[Roan]

No, it's the way you have this thing.

[Harry]

Take it. Hold up a picture of it.

[Francis]

Let me see. Harry. Yeah, yeah, that thing, that thing's like you can fjord a river and it has that button that allows you to raise up on the axles.

[Harry]

Well, I was hoping that we'd be able to take it on some kind of off roading excursion, you know, just the three of us.

[Roan]

We might bring this thing up to the. Up to the. For fish week.

[Harry]

I wanted to, but I wanted to make sure that it was like we were really getting heavy duty with it, not riding on paved roads.

[Francis]

Are you. Were you. Are you. Do you come from a family of Lexus?

[Harry]

Oh, God, no. My family had a toy, a Saturn, a Toyota and. And then a Honda.

[Francis]

Nice.

[Harry]

And then a Ford.

[Francis]

Yeah, I like that.

[Roan]

Love afford.

[Francis]

We were two beat to Toyota Priuses and then. And we had. And then we ultimately moved up to a Honda Odyssey.

[Harry]

Sheesh. Yeah, we had Priuses and Odysseys.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Yeah. I don't know what it was about the Prius that for a period, it was the car.

[Francis]

Well, Al Gore. Al Gore came out with an inconvenient truth. And that made my sex life in high school inconvenient because I had to drive a Prius around Maine when every other kid was driving pickup trucks.

[Roan]

Of course.

[Francis]

Look at this environmental.

[Roan]

Yeah, that's tough.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Should have got Alexis met halfway. Man.

[Francis]

Lexus in Maine was like the highest end of luxury Lexus.

[Roan]

And that's why do not try to.

[Harry]

Put any light on the Lexus. We know what you think about them and it's better.

[Roan]

That's why you reject them.

[Francis]

Now. I'm not. I'm not backing down my Lexus point.

[Harry]

Stick with your Alexis point.

[Francis]

Alexis Texas on Netflix they say has the most. Yeah, trunk space.

[Harry]

That's a good ass line.

[Roan]

I can't believe you have that big ass car. And we were driving. We were. We were on 2% battery trying to get back from the river. Louis know you got a submarine at home.

[Harry]

We were turning up the radio all the way and it was still like a very faint whisper.

[Francis]

He probably would need to unstrap and undo the children's seats in the back, which, if you don't know, it's a very hard thing to undo child seats.

[Harry]

And at this point, I am like, Chris Kyle. I could do that blindfolded. I'm like taking the apart.

[Francis]

This is my child's car seat. There are many others like it, but this one is mine.

[Roan]

Isn'T it? Don't you just have to put the seat belt through it or something?

[Harry]

Some.

[Francis]

No, Harry, it's so much more complicated. You are not ready to.

[Roan]

I haven't done it.

[Harry]

You have to swing down the center strap, lock it in, make sure it's at the right angle so it's green. Put in the two hooks behind it and then get the bottom to a level as you crank down the hooks.

[Francis]

Like tying a sumo wrestler's sarong.

[Harry]

It's just like the song of the mighty sumo.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Of a Yoko.

[Roan]

Particular about it, huh? The kids are pretty particular about it.

[Harry]

Well, if you don't have it locked in at the right angle, a crash could be fatal.

[Roan]

Oh, I see.

[Harry]

So that's something I take dead seriously.

[Roan]

Of course.

[Harry]

But if you want to be willy nilly about it.

[Francis]

I can't believe this guy over here trying to make light of the mortality of your children.

[Harry]

Now we're disgusted with Harry.

[Francis]

I've been disgusted with Harry. Golly.

[Roan]

I mean, I don't even know fatal crash was on the table when you got Alexis.

[Francis]

Harry, I had. I had something, you know, I've learned something, which was that I had an important question that I wanted to ask you yesterday. And I just said, I know. He won't respond and I don't want to piss myself off, so I'll just wait.

[Roan]

Yesterday, I would not have responded.

[Francis]

Yep.

[Roan]

I was on full Zen mode.

[Harry]

What I do when I have an important question for Harry is I write it down, I put it in the fireplace, I light the note on fire and just send it to God. Knowing that he has a better chance of directly communicating with me.

[Francis]

More likely that he'll find his way to out of whatever that fucking Harry Potter thing was. Where Sirius Black was able to come into the fireplace from Azkaban. Right?

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Talking to the wrong guy. Was talking to the wrong guy. Hunger Games family.

[Francis]

Hey, have you. Have you? I have. I don't want to give it away. I have an amazing present for you for eight. Unbelievable present.

[Roan]

Unbelievable.

[Francis]

Like, if truly the best thing.

[Roan]

What is it?

[Francis]

I'm not telling you.

[Roan]

All right, well, guess we'll move on from that one.

[Francis]

Yeah, it's Alexis. I got you Alexis. They were giving them away. First hundred people at the December to sales.

[Roan]

Yeah, of course.

[Francis]

Event.

[Roan]

That's huge.

[Harry]

What?

[Roan]

I could live out of that thing Roan drives around in.

[Harry]

Well, I mean, it would be perfect for your Montana trips.

[Francis]

I know.

[Harry]

Like, you could load in the car. You're loading the kids550. Loading the. Loading the dog. What kind of category is your gift? Is it outdoorsy?

[Roan]

No, no, you give me a GX 550.

[Francis]

No, it's. It's almost in. In line with a gift that has already been given to Harry on this show.

[Roan]

My. My forged signature from Robert De Niro.

[Harry]

Don't you fucking dare, dude. I don't know why.

[Roan]

Why I brought it to. I brought it to a team of specialists that said it's Rowan's handwriting, the key.

[Harry]

I mean, go. I'll do a handwriting.

[Roan]

I've been collecting that.

[Harry]

I've been burning every piece of handwriting.

[Francis]

You purchased a Robert Dairo real signature. Yeah.

[Harry]

Identical.

[Roan]

Now, there's no doubt in my mind it's fraudulent.

[Harry]

There's no chance.

[Roan]

We'll see.

[Harry]

I mean, do a handwriting sample from me.

[Roan]

I've already got them.

[Harry]

No, it pisses me off when I do something nice and it gets. It's beyond reproach what I did for you. And you're trying to reproach it.

[Roan]

I've been sneaking around, watching your dumpsters at night, searching through them, collecting every piece of handwriting I can find.

[Harry]

I don't write. I don't write shit down. Except I do just write down Christmas lists.

[Francis]

It's just a whole stack of questions for Harry in his dumpster.

[Harry]

Why don't you love me?

[Roan]

You made a Christmas list.

[Francis]

Rome.

[Roan]

What'd you ask for?

[Harry]

I'm saying for other people. I did almost all my shopping yesterday online. It was fucking incredible.

[Roan]

Did you find any good deals? Yeah, any smoking hot deals? Yes, I've been hunting for deals and I haven't really found a lot of good stuff.

[Francis]

Wirecut.

[Roan]

Outside of the barstool store, of course.

[Harry]

20Barstoolsports.Com.

[Francis]

But that sale ended yesterday, right?

[Harry]

Oh, yes. Yeah, when you look at it, it did.

[Roan]

This stuff is still all up there, so just buy it now. Anyway, thanks, everyone. But you can still buy it.

[Francis]

Thanks to everyone who bought Boyd ad Merch. We did. Well, we're. We're thrilled, I think, on how much inventory we moved. And that's all thanks to you guys. So thank you.

[Harry]

It's just people wanting to support the show.

[Francis]

Good.

[Harry]

Damn good merch.

[Francis]

We're in good. We're in good health. Yeah.

[Harry]

Imagine what, what next year will hold if we, if we keep on put. What if we keep on pushing ourselves.

[Roan]

Track suits.

[Harry]

What if we hold our brothers accountable and we have the trackies. What's that tracksuit brand that has like two girls? Like Kappa, is it?

[Francis]

Yep.

[Harry]

Yeah. Like if we had just like girls down the sleeve and on our back breast pocket.

[Roan]

That would be sick.

[Harry]

Some hot ass girls on our babes.

[Roan]

All over my clothes.

[Harry]

Babes down our leg, down that and down the out seam.

[Roan]

Some graphic jeans.

[Francis]

I used to. I used to pick which like travel soccer team I would play for based on the caliber of their warm up jackets and pants.

[Harry]

What kind of stuff were we looking at?

[Francis]

Main Metro had the Kappa gear and it was sick. Whereas Coastal had Adidas, I think, which was also pretty cool. Coastal's colors were black and white. Black and white's never gonna go wrong.

[Harry]

Timeless. And it's badass. If you're like a sports team. You're wearing black and white. There's a little bit of intimidation factor.

[Francis]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Harry]

Not like Inter Miami. Those in pink.

[Francis]

Yeah. Hey guys, Breast cancer awareness month isn't for a while.

[Harry]

Yeah. Messy freaking jerk. We're not being aware for 11 months of the year.

[Francis]

You guys just keep it to one month of year because you're kind of.

[Roan]

Throwing it in our faces. At this point.

[Harry]

Though, they did just make the MLS final. I don't know if you saw five to one.

[Francis]

I didn't, I didn't see. How many more years is Messi going to play in that shit?

[Harry]

He's playing really well still.

[Francis]

I believe it.

[Harry]

But I'm just like, you know, he's 38 now, so.

[Roan]

38.

[Harry]

What did you think he was 29.

[Roan]

He thought he was European.

[Harry]

He's just broke his cigarettes on the fear. I thought he looked old.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

I saw a photo of his house that he grew up in this morning. Not good.

[Francis]

Yeah. Tin roof, tin roof, chickens running around.

[Roan]

Tin roof with chickens everywhere.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

More chicken than human.

[Francis]

Yeah. Right.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Didn't he. Wasn't he born like really short and like he got the surgery or he was like born a chicken or something like that and he got the surgery to make himself taller.

[Roan]

I saw that, I saw a post that it was like celebrities, celebrities houses before they were famous or like their houses that they grew up in and everyone's was like tiny in like a shack. And then it was like Taylor Swift's was like a mansion.

[Harry]

Taylor Swift was the popular girl in high school. And there's video evidence. And then she just made up a story. Like, that's as bad as Rick Ross being like, I sold drugs. Being a parole off or a CEO, a corrections officer. Her being like, true.

[Roan]

Rick Ross was a corrections officer?

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

You didn't know that?

[Roan]

Now I must. I missed that.

[Harry]

It changes how you listen to his music.

[Francis]

It does, but that's also not. I mean, that's kind of a pretty. I don't know.

[Harry]

There's rough job.

[Francis]

It's not. It's not. I don't know.

[Harry]

It's more rough than being a drug dealer. Being like, I made 32, 000 a year and got on by prisoners. Yeah.

[Francis]

You're working in a prison.

[Harry]

They threw a cocktail of spit, blood and on me every single day. Like, yeah, that's way worse.

[Roan]

But he wasn't dealing. Or maybe he was dealing drugs to.

[Harry]

The inmates or he was on the outside working or taking drugs, facilitating drug deals. There's probably lots of ways to put it.

[Roan]

A lot of people take drugs, but if you're claiming to sell them, that's a different thing.

[Harry]

I mean, like taking them to the inmates.

[Roan]

Oh, I see, I see, I see.

[Harry]

Ferrying them along. But then Taylor Swift being like, he wears short shirts, he's. She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleed. You were fucking cheer captain?

[Francis]

Yeah. You're marrying the quarterback?

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

She's living like she's a fraud.

[Harry]

She just can't say. She can't claim that. Like, there's no shame in having a beautiful house in Stone Harbor.

[Roan]

No, she's on Broadwatch.

[Francis]

Where's Stone Harbor?

[Harry]

It's like the suburb adjacent to Avalon, New Jersey, which is in the top 1% of real estate in the United States.

[Francis]

She's from there.

[Harry]

That's where her. Where she summered.

[Roan]

She summer on Cape Cod.

[Francis]

Oh, God, no, no, you're thinking of the Kennedys.

[Roan]

No, no, I've. See, I saw her house in Cape Cod.

[Harry]

Oh, no, she has one now. She had. That's where.

[Francis]

She's in Newport, Rhode Island.

[Roan]

I guess she probably has a house.

[Francis]

That's where they're getting married. I think.

[Roan]

You think There's a conversation in every single city happening right now, being like, you know, Taylor Swift's actually got a house.

[Francis]

Wait a minute. Where is she? Why did I think she was from Reading, Pennsylvania?

[Roan]

Yeah, she's a Birds fan.

[Francis]

I. I just assumed she was from the South. No, because she does that she went to Nashville and kind of got discovered there, right?

[Harry]

Yeah. She's not from the south, did she? And there's holes.

[Roan]

You go to a concordance.

[Francis]

She was singing in honky tonk bars.

[Roan]

For what, a day? Like an hour?

[Francis]

I think that's, like, where her formulative years were. But maybe I'm wrong.

[Roan]

I could be wrong, too. I have no idea.

[Francis]

I could be dead wrong.

[Harry]

There is video of her in high school.

[Roan]

She get famous when she was, like, 15, probably.

[Francis]

I need to look this up. This is frustrating me.

[Harry]

She was the popular girl in high school, though. And I don't say that to disparage her. I say that to bring truth to power.

[Roan]

I think I might be missing mixing up her and jb.

[Francis]

Who's.

[Harry]

Who's jb?

[Roan]

Justin Bieber.

[Harry]

Oh, jb. I thought you're talking JB Smooth.

[Roan]

Yeah, that's who I was mixing up her in. JB Smooth.

[Harry]

Justin Bieber, I think, would play guitar out on the streets of Toronto. Yes, he would. There's video of it.

[Francis]

Oh, guys, they moved. Her family moved to Nashville when she was 14 years old in 2004 to support her music career. And she lived there through high school, buying her first home in the city at the age of 20 in 2009.

[Roan]

Damn.

[Francis]

She was there for five years. And.

[Harry]

Samuel Lawan got drafted. Yeah, she was down there with the boys.

[Roan]

That's huge.

[Francis]

Her family moves there. Yeah. She went to high school in Nashville.

[Roan]

High school. Define high school.

[Francis]

Cheer captain bleachers. Yeah.

[Roan]

AKA short skirts, T shirts, math problems. Buy her once a day. Check it off the list. There's school for the day.

[Harry]

She threw some flashcards in her mom's face as she, like, went shopping.

[Roan]

She was. She was famous as a child, though, right? Like, she was like, what, like 17 or 18? She got famous.

[Francis]

Did you think from my answer that I had an idea of how she lived?

[Roan]

I mean, you were the one that was like, I believe her form.

[Harry]

Her formative years.

[Roan]

Her formative years took place in Nashville, actually.

[Francis]

Yeah, well, I was right.

[Roan]

Yeah, you were right.

[Francis]

But I had to look it up and I read it haltingly.

[Roan]

Yeah, but you were like, oh, no. Exactly how I said. Yeah, she 15. She moved out there to pursue her dreams. Same year Taylor Wand was drafted.

[Francis]

It seems to me that we all have the exact same level of knowledge about Taylor Swift.

[Roan]

It seems, I think, a little more advanced.

[Francis]

We have a very specious understanding of her.

[Roan]

Yeah, I always just thought, like, that was like, you know her Justin Bieber child stars.

[Francis]

No, she Wasn't as. I'm not gonna stay. I'm not gonna keep answering this.

[Roan]

You know. You know I am got the information.

[Francis]

I'm doing way you do.

[Roan]

We're just trying to get it out.

[Francis]

You have done this to me. If you don't know, answer confidently. The Harry said you were right, but you were right, which is a difference.

[Roan]

From you about Nashville.

[Harry]

You doubted yourself. And he would.

[Francis]

I remember seeing a photo or a video of her playing as a kid or like a teenager on one of those bars, maybe even with someone who was already a big deal.

[Roan]

I don't know. You got to be. Your kid has to be so fucking good at music for you to move cities for that, or you got to.

[Harry]

Be so rich that you're like, it's gonna work. Yeah, she's gonna be famous. Yeah, we're gonna be good. This isn't a messy situation. We're gonna be just fine. My kid wasn't born a chicken.

[Francis]

It's. It is amazing when families will sacrifice, like, everything to support their kids. Long shot.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Artistic career. Buddy of mine in high school was, like, an incredible. He was an incredible dancer.

[Roan]

What kind breaks?

[Francis]

Ballet, actually.

[Roan]

Ballet.

[Francis]

Okay. But he did, like, you know, jazz and modern and all that stuff. But he had.

[Roan]

How do you do jazz? Like La La Land.

[Harry]

Bob Fosse.

[Francis]

Not far off. Yeah. No, he was an incredible ballet dancer, and we didn't have, like, a good ballet program in Maine at all. And so his family moved to New York and.

[Harry]

Where his lifestyle could be accepted.

[Francis]

Yeah. And they had to sacrifice a lot. His mom had died when he was, like, a little bit younger, and so they had all her, like, jewelry, I remember, and they, like, took that to a pawn shop just so that he could be able to go to auditions and stuff. And this real at the time.

[Roan]

Is this a true story?

[Francis]

Well, yeah.

[Roan]

Are you sure?

[Francis]

Yeah. What do you mean?

[Roan]

Like, I'm looking for. Is it like, a movie?

[Harry]

Let him finish his story. He's telling a deep story from.

[Francis]

This was a buddy of mine.

[Roan]

Okay.

[Francis]

This is a buddy of mine. So they. You know, I remember. I remember they, like, had to kind of ask people for money and stuff, but, like, nobody really had any because at that time, the major industry in our state was ice fishing and, like, the fishing and stuff like that.

[Roan]

I don't have it. I don't know it. I don't know what the movie is.

[Francis]

What do you mean?

[Roan]

This obviously didn't happen.

[Francis]

Well, so everyone went on strike because the governor.

[Roan]

I've never seen it.

[Francis]

Regulations to, like, clamp down, stand by me. And he broke the picket line in order to go back to work to pay for his son to take ballet lessons.

[Roan]

Damn nutcracker.

[Francis]

Oh, wait, no, I'm thinking of Billy Elliott.

[Harry]

Billy Elliot. Yeah, Billy Elliot. That's what that is.

[Roan]

I've never seen Billy Elliot.

[Francis]

That didn't happen in my town. That wasn't real.

[Roan]

Did you actually know a kid that danced in ballet?

[Francis]

Billy Elliot. A boy named Billy Elliot.

[Harry]

A good boy named Billy.

[Francis]

Unfortunately, it's Billy Elliot again. I think I've done him before.

[Roan]

I've never seen that movie.

[Francis]

God.

[Harry]

I just know the story because it's the. It's the one famous brolay story.

[Francis]

That bit. I love that bit, but I can never pull it off. I can never pull it off.

[Harry]

I can't get it dance. It was. It was immediately hilarious. Just thinking of you, of someone having a boy that's like, a really good dancer so he could get famous and moving, because they can't. That doesn't exist. Like, you can't get famous off, like, dance.

[Francis]

Not in Maine now.

[Harry]

I don't know if you can get famous off dance anywhere. Like, who's a famous dancer?

[Francis]

Barishov. Right.

[Harry]

Barishnikov is famous.

[Francis]

He's probably the most famous one.

[Roan]

Who, Zendaya?

[Harry]

That's not a famous dancer.

[Roan]

That's how she got famous.

[Harry]

You're talking about an actress.

[Roan]

Shake It Up.

[Harry]

That was an actor acting role.

[Francis]

Did she sing?

[Roan]

I don't know.

[Harry]

She. With a name like that, she should.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Harry]

She has too good of a name.

[Francis]

I'm rewatching. I'm rewatching Euphoria. What?

[Roan]

You got to start with Shake It Up.

[Francis]

What is Shake It Up?

[Roan]

Shake it up is like the Disney Channel show that she was on.

[Francis]

She was on a Disney Channel, of course.

[Harry]

Really?

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Harry]

That's how she was. Guaranteed fame, bro.

[Francis]

Her euphoria is worth a rewatch. I'm. I'm. I'm through the first season again. My God, what a show that is.

[Roan]

Is it really?

[Harry]

Two perfect shows, Harry.

[Francis]

It's. It's unbelievable.

[Roan]

Two perfect shows.

[Francis]

What?

[Roan]

I've never watched that show. I. I tried. I tried to watch it once, and I. I never got into it.

[Francis]

The first episode, they drop you right into the nudity, into the blender a little bit. And if you can get through that, then you start to learn the characters a bit more. Cassie, that's.

[Harry]

Oh, Lordy.

[Francis]

Yeah. Lordy's characters.

[Harry]

Fezco.

[Francis]

Fez goes the best. Wasn't he dead now?

[Roan]

Did he die in. He died in real life, right?

[Francis]

Yeah, no, they.

[Roan]

Yeah, he died and the show.

[Francis]

Huh?

[Harry]

He died in real life.

[Francis]

They didn't kill him in the show. Actually, I shouldn't say that. I don't want to give anything away. You should watch the show.

[Roan]

I've seen the last scene of the second season.

[Francis]

What's that?

[Roan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Francis]

The younger.

[Harry]

The brother died.

[Roan]

Ashtray.

[Francis]

Ashtray.

[Harry]

The one scene where you laugh at everything.

[Francis]

You would like this show.

[Roan]

Terrible name.

[Francis]

You're such a clown.

[Harry]

That is a name from like.

[Roan]

This is my buddy Needle.

[Francis]

Well, he's their drug dealers.

[Roan]

I know, I know.

[Harry]

That is a little on the nose.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Astray is one of the better characters in the show too.

[Roan]

Really? May he rest in peace.

[Harry]

Rest in peace, Ash.

[Francis]

He's named Ashtray because as a baby he would eat cigarettes.

[Roan]

Ew. Do you think the third season will be good?

[Francis]

I don't know. I don't know if they're gonna get around to it. That's.

[Roan]

Oh, I thought they already started filming.

[Francis]

Oh, that's. They've been saying that for years. It's been legitimately. Yeah, years since season two came out.

[Roan]

It's like a Stranger Things situation this season.

[Harry]

They're like trying to figure out their retirement plans and shit like that. So I trying to figure out how much to put into a Roth ira.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Because they've all not only graduated college, but like, they're deep into the workforce by now.

[Francis]

They're gonna need to jump them ahead a few years.

[Roan]

You think? Can they?

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

What do you think they'll do? Bring him to college maybe.

[Harry]

Jacob Elordi has crow's feet now.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Harry]

You can't pretend to be in. In college.

[Roan]

Yeah, high school is gonna be tough to pull off. That's kind of what happened with. What's it called? What's that? Outer Banks.

[Francis]

Oh, that show was trash.

[Roan]

Well, slow your roll.

[Francis]

That show was the worst show I've seen.

[Roan]

The show was a masterpiece for the first couple seasons.

[Francis]

No, it wasn't. No, it wasn't.

[Roan]

You just took it too serious.

[Francis]

I took it. I watched it.

[Roan]

Did you watch the whole first season?

[Francis]

I couldn't get. I watched like seven episodes. I don't think the treasure's here. No, it's here. Treasure.

[Harry]

They're having like five years old shootouts on boats. They're like doing high speed chases on boats.

[Roan]

That show is a guilty pleasure of mine.

[Harry]

It's girl tv.

[Francis]

This is what I'm saying. You're making fun of Euphoria and you're watching.

[Roan]

I think those shows are equally as bad.

[Francis]

Child. That's.

[Roan]

That's. Euphoria is a child show.

[Francis]

Oh, yeah?

[Roan]

Yes.

[Francis]

You watch a transsexual get by an older man. But tell me that.

[Roan]

Watch that. That's like teenage girls are like. They like that.

[Harry]

You have to watch.

[Francis]

You should watch teenage girls like that. Then newborn babies like your show Outer Banks. Get the out.

[Roan]

I'm not. Look, I'm not. I'm not going to bat. Outer Banks was phenomenal. Well, phenomenal is a little bit of a stretch. It was entertaining. It was entertaining.

[Francis]

Now I know what you're into, and I know what I'm into, and I'm gonna stop recommending.

[Roan]

No, it's definitely not what I'm into.

[Francis]

I don't know how to. I don't know how to pitch for your. Your youthful mind.

[Roan]

Well, Mook and I both were big into this show.

[Harry]

Did you watch it with your sisters?

[Roan]

No.

[Harry]

You know, that's even worse. I thought that you had some kind of, like, plausible excuse.

[Roan]

Came out.

[Francis]

Did you watch it while you were like, you know, volunteering at a youth rec center?

[Roan]

I watched it voluntarily. I could see that being apt.

[Francis]

I could see that being on at, like, a children's hospital.

[Harry]

Yeah, it's in between. At my house, it's in between Coco Melon and Ms. Rachel. Yeah, we put on Outer Banks.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

I mean, look, boys, they're in cigarette boats shooting Uzis at each other.

[Roan]

Look. It's a good show. It's a good show. It gets a little silly towards the end of the first season. Second season's a total. And then I stopped watching. I really. I watched the first season and a half, but my God, was it a good run?

[Harry]

If you watch more than two seasons of any show, it's a rousing success.

[Roan]

Oh, yeah.

[Harry]

Making it to that third season of a show or third season of a show being palatable is a massive undertaking.

[Roan]

Yeah, massive. That's tough to do.

[Harry]

So hard to make a third season good. But when it is good. God, that's a feather in the old cap.

[Roan]

Re watching Euphoria, though, is crazy.

[Francis]

It's that good of a show. I would honestly put it at top five show I've ever seen.

[Harry]

Have you haven't watched any of it?

[Roan]

No, not really.

[Harry]

So why. What's. What's the hate about?

[Roan]

Just hating.

[Harry]

Actually, I respect that.

[Francis]

Monday. That is Monday. Nice.

[Roan]

Just, you know, it is time and.

[Harry]

People should be allowed to, like, just hate on some.

[Roan]

I've all. Yeah, I've always Just blindly hated.

[Harry]

Yeah, I think that is mostly.

[Roan]

Mostly on TV shows.

[Francis]

Harry's born in the wrong era. You would have done really well during the civil rights era.

[Harry]

Just blindly hating. I just don't like how they look.

[Francis]

Blindly hating?

[Roan]

No, I've always been. Been a blind hater of like.

[Harry]

I just like what I know.

[Roan]

White people, TVs and movies. You kind of have to be.

[Harry]

Yeah, that is nice. Disliking something before you. It you give it a chance to hurt you.

[Roan]

Like every. I go to the movies, every trailer, I go, that looks fucking awful.

[Harry]

I'm the opposite.

[Roan]

That's gonna suck.

[Harry]

I'm like, oh, I need to see it. Like, I'll loudly whisper in the movie theater, oh, that looks good.

[Francis]

Mark it down.

[Harry]

That looks really good.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Harry]

What was the one that. It was like. Wasn't there like a Brad Pitt and George Clooney movie like a year ago where they were like both hit men on the same job or something? I saw a trailer for it. I was like, that looks good. And I never heard tale of that movie ever again.

[Roan]

I don't know if I've seen this.

[Francis]

I think that was on.

[Harry]

Wolves. Yeah, wolves in the trailer. It looked good.

[Francis]

First of all.

[Roan]

Sounds phenomenal.

[Francis]

Why didn't they call it wolves?

[Harry]

No, no. Lone wolves. They called it.

[Francis]

The plural of wolf is wolves.

[Roan]

Not in this movie.

[Harry]

Wolf's wolf for Hampton.

[Roan]

Maybe it's like a last name. The wolves.

[Harry]

Meet the wolves. Meet the wolves. Oh, that is a good. That is a good loophole. Maybe that is a grammatic loophole.

[Francis]

Did anyone see that movie? Was it any good wolfs?

[Roan]

I watched Relay this weekend and what was the other one called? I forget. Solid movie, though.

[Francis]

Watch the Silence of the Lambs this weekend.

[Roan]

It's always a classic.

[Francis]

I hadn't seen it in from start to finish ever before. What an unbelievable.

[Roan]

You've never seen it?

[Harry]

I've never seen it start to finish.

[Francis]

Like a tapestry of it.

[Harry]

Yeah, you see it on like TNT and it's like on. In the background. You catch halfway through Chianti and all that. Was it amazing? Was it suspenseful?

[Francis]

Yeah, the. The final scene where she's in Buffalo Bill's house and doesn't realize it is. You can't even breathe. It's so intense.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And there's. There's been great moments like that. It reminded me of in Mare of Easttown when she enters into the house where the kidnapper guy is keeping the two or three girls.

[Roan]

Yeah, yeah. Where the. The other cop gets.

[Francis]

And it's Very similar to that. I love mo. I love movies and. And TV shows that pull that off correctly where like. Like the detective is where they're supposed to be, but they don't know it.

[Roan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Francis]

They're in the.

[Harry]

You know it as an audience member.

[Francis]

Yeah. And the. And the bad guy is like. Yeah, I know. You can look around. Come on in.

[Roan]

Yeah, yeah, look around.

[Francis]

Sure. You can make a phone call.

[Roan]

Mayor of East Town does that one.

[Francis]

That.

[Roan]

They're so good.

[Francis]

Have you seen Silence of the Lambs?

[Roan]

Of course.

[Francis]

That scene. Because they. They let that go. She opens a lot of doors.

[Roan]

Oh, yeah.

[Francis]

She's opening door after door.

[Roan]

Oh, you know what does it. Well, Zodiac.

[Francis]

Jake Gyllenhaal. Yeah, I need to re. Watch that.

[Roan]

Oh, that's like one of the best movies ever.

[Francis]

But is he in the house of the killer?

[Roan]

Multiple times, I think.

[Harry]

Fincher.

[Roan]

Classic.

[Francis]

What an amazing. That movie scared the out of me.

[Roan]

Zodiac.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Roan]

It's a great movie.

[Francis]

Scared the out.

[Harry]

Really.

[Francis]

It.

[Harry]

I found it good, but I didn't find it that scary. But very dark.

[Francis]

I remember there were just moments where I was haunted by it.

[Harry]

Lambs. Lambs scared the out of me, but Zodiac didn't do it.

[Francis]

Especially when they're quiet.

[Roan]

Have you guys seen that new show? All Her Fault.

[Francis]

People are talking about it. It's pretty good. I've heard good things about.

[Harry]

What is it?

[Francis]

Oh, wait, sorry. Let me rephrase. Trash.

[Harry]

Why do you say that? No reason.

[Francis]

Why? What's it about? What's it about? Tell me what it's about.

[Roan]

The same thing that every single miniseries is about. They got to come up with a new fucking plot. It's just the same show. And. And look, it's good. Like, I'm watching it, and I'm like, it's. It's good, but, you know, it's just the same thing every single time.

[Francis]

I think this is. Falls on the. The rise of the true crime. They're like, okay, well, let's make some fake crime.

[Harry]

Yeah, yeah. Of some false crime.

[Francis]

False crime.

[Roan]

Like, I wouldn't hate. Like, you know, I guess. I don't know. Yeah, Stick to kidnapping.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

You can't think of another plot? You're so plot poison. That that's the only thing you can think of. This sweet, sweet shiv is in that, is she not?

[Roan]

Yes, she is. She's a good actress.

[Harry]

We should honestly put her up and down. Our next merch silhouetted on the sleeves and breast pocket.

[Francis]

It.

[Roan]

It's a good idea.

[Francis]

I remember when you Know in succession. It was Shiv. That was a. I'd never seen the name Siobhan. Siobhan.

[Harry]

Yeah. An Irish name, but they spell it.

[Francis]

S, I, O, B, H, A, N.

[Harry]

B, H, A, N or maybe B.

[Francis]

A, N. When I saw the spelling of that, it became hard for me to hear the name Shiv.

[Harry]

Well, it's like one of those.

[Francis]

Why isn't it Shib.

[Harry]

Shib, Siobhan.

[Francis]

I'll. I'll. I'll somehow I'll give you that. Sio is. Shh. I don't know how, but I'm gonna give you that.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

But you cannot tell me that a B is pronounced as a V. Oh.

[Harry]

I mean, go to Ireland. They. They spelled things however the they want.

[Francis]

All wacky. It's all.

[Harry]

They just spell things. Like they dump out a bowl of Alphabet soup and they're like, that's the name. That's how you spell Greg.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

K, R, A, I, K. Yeah.

[Francis]

Greg T, R, I, C with a sideways line over the eye.

[Roan]

That's how I felt in Iceland. It's like not even words that you can just like sound out because it's just like you're like, oh, this is just like a random combination of letters.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Yeah. Like, it's not like Spanish where you could be like, me llamo.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Self explanatory.

[Harry]

Not a good romance language.

[Roan]

Like, I don't even know how someone. Where do you even start with this word?

[Harry]

Absolutely.

[Roan]

You go in it from the middle. Yeah.

[Harry]

You know, I treated myself to Braveheart.

[Francis]

Oh, nice touch there.

[Harry]

It's a really timeless. A timeless offering.

[Francis]

You know what's up next then? If you watch that. The Patriot.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Around and re. Watch the Patriot. Dude.

[Harry]

It's there. Those movies, the Mel Gibson run that he went on in the late 90s, early 2000s.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Those are Disney movies for adult males.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

You know what I mean? It's like our just fantasy of just like being the guy that like beats up. Everyone's like, I have to save my family and shit like that. Just running around like for honor and glory. Like it's.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

None of that shit can be true, but. Sounds so good.

[Francis]

Man, what a run he went on. And, you know, then he, I guess found his calling, unfortunately, which was hating Jews.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Just being drunk as. But it was like fucking run the banks.

[Francis]

In the same way that Michael Jordan went to play baseball. Like Mel Gibson was like, I'm gonna take a pause on my lucrative film career and go ahead and hate Jews for a bit.

[Harry]

But. But he was so good at it. It's like if Michael Jordan became like a 10 time all star base, stayed in it. He was like perfect at hating the Jews. Yeah, yeah.

[Francis]

He's like, I'm not coming back. I don't need any more championships.

[Harry]

This is my calling.

[Roan]

Yeah, what movie are we talking about? Under the Patriot, Patriots Day.

[Harry]

The Patriot.

[Roan]

The Patriot?

[Harry]

Have you never seen that?

[Roan]

Is that the.

[Harry]

It's like a American Revolution where he's like aim small, miss small.

[Roan]

He.

[Francis]

He's based on Swamp Fox. The character from Lore. I think it was a real character. Do you know Swamp Fox?

[Roan]

I'm familiar.

[Harry]

I don't think I. I don't think I knew the lore. All I know is, is this movie.

[Francis]

I've heard Swampox, Gorilla Fighter, Smallpox Bob Fox.

[Harry]

Oh Lord, he was a great gorilla fighter.

[Francis]

Where are these artifacts coming from?

[Roan]

Excuse me, Great Gorilla fighter.

[Francis]

What is this?

[Roan]

People bring them in.

[Francis]

What are these trinkets?

[Harry]

What is that, a sextant?

[Roan]

That is a telescope, believe it or not.

[Harry]

Imagine circumventing the globe with a bitch ass telescope like that.

[Francis]

That.

[Harry]

Imagine what Magellan's ass was looking. He was looking through a damn kaleidoscope. There's the West Indies.

[Francis]

Bring me my glass.

[Roan]

They probably had to get high up as that was probably like tell us like if he like stood up on a bunch of books, he would help.

[Harry]

Didn't. Yeah, like Galileo like mapped the solar system and stars like off of some like his eyes.

[Roan]

I mean, I guess the light pollution was probably so.

[Harry]

Yeah. Non existent.

[Roan]

Non existent.

[Francis]

This is dumb.

[Roan]

What is it?

[Francis]

It's just dumb. This is a piece of shit.

[Roan]

Well, you destroyed.

[Francis]

I can't find anything with this thing.

[Roan]

Well, because you broke it.

[Francis]

No, I didn't.

[Roan]

Nine different pieces.

[Francis]

There's a. The, the. The. The.

[Roan]

It was huge when you picked it up. And now I'm looking at.

[Francis]

Well, telescopes are meant to be telescoped, my friend.

[Roan]

Well, you un telescoped it.

[Harry]

Do you boys ever spend any time looking?

[Roan]

Does that thing have slope scope?

[Francis]

Oh, quick thought, quick thing about the Internet invitational. Okay, this is interesting. I found out through a little birdie that when we all got paid our skins money. Which was from the second day.

[Roan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Francis]

Which was like 15 or 16,000 bucks each. Paige Spiranac donated all of her skins money to Beef. Beef's family.

[Roan]

Damn. So did you?

[Francis]

No, I donated to his foundation. By the way. Roger Steele donated all of his skins money to Beef's foundation. This is a. This is a note in their. In their favor. Not that Roger needed it. But Paige. Paige has been getting beaten up a little bit in the dark corridors of the Internet, and I thought I would throw her a lifeline, a little.

[Harry]

No better way to quell a dirty conscience.

[Francis]

Yeah. But she didn't. She didn't ask anyone to tell. She didn't do that. She didn't expect that to come out.

[Roan]

Did she put it down? Anonymous. Was it an anonymous donation?

[Francis]

We had to. We had to tell the per. Like the barstool payroll person where to send it, how to give their money. And then she just told that person, just send it. Send it to be his family.

[Harry]

She said, I'm far too rich already.

[Francis]

That may be true, but either way, that's a significant amount of money. And I was impressed that she did that.

[Harry]

No, that is very impressive.

[Francis]

Especially impressed that it never. It would never have gotten out if I had not found out and told it on her behalf. So.

[Harry]

That is very nice of you, actually. That's nice. Someone giving the money.

[Francis]

Yeah, I am getting 38k. It's a 30 publicity fee. 8 crisis HR management.

[Harry]

I think that anybody that actually is pissed off at her is kind of clownish, but I do think that people are just like. They see it as their entertainment. So they have this parasocial, I think, view of it. And they're like, yeah, that. It's like when they're watching a movie, they're like, Fesco, Jacob Elordi. Like, they're not considering that these are real people.

[Francis]

I think that, yeah, I think that people like to watch people fall. That's true.

[Harry]

Or they're just like to. In their. In their media that they consume. They like to be like, this is the good guy, this is the bad guy. It makes it more compelling to have a clear line.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah. I will say she came out. She did come out and say that, you know, she's received tens of thousands of death threats. I was like, who do you think you are, Bin Laden?

[Roan]

People like to throw around thousands threats.

[Francis]

Tens of thousands of death threats. Were you a goalie for the Colombian soccer team after you let one through your legs?

[Harry]

And at that point, the Colombians just do the job.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

What is.

[Francis]

I got. I got like seven death when I had the Fox News hot mic thing. But they were. But they were like, yeah, like, true. This is how I'm going to kill you if you end up in Virginia.

[Roan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Francis]

If you come to the state of Virginia. Here's the gun. It was very Gilbert Arena.

[Roan]

Yeah, yeah. Showing it off.

[Francis]

It was like, this is the gun. I'M going to use.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Your life. It's on site. And I was like, I shall not be visiting the Commonwealth. Yeah.

[Roan]

Virginia.

[Harry]

People who are death threatening someone over a golf video need to give up their eyes.

[Francis]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Harry]

I don't think you need to turn in your brain.

[Francis]

I don't think that's the right response. So, anyway, hopefully everyone can kind of let those people off the hook and move on a little bit.

[Harry]

It made it better that that happened. Like, that's good for the video. Like, obviously they have to deal with it, but, like, that is better. Washing that. Like, then it's like, oh, and everybody got along. They sang Kumbaya at the end.

[Francis]

Dude. It's so funny to me that I ended up on the team of. Of, like, the Light, the Good. Because I'm not. I'm not a good, good team guy. I don't fight for the allies. I'm not. I'm not with the force. I'm an agent of chaos.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

I will. I could just as easily have ended up on the team that was maligned. If anything, Frankie probably deserves to be on the team of Light, but I was surrounded on the left by Captain America, Brad Dalke, and then Beef, who, you know, unselfishly passed away so that we could be received as the heroes. It's, like, unbelievable. And then I'm just smack dab in the middle.

[Harry]

Like, that is nice. And that is, I think, a good lesson as we look at the wars of history.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Just like some good guys wind up on the wrong side and bad guys wind up on the good side.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Just 10,000 death threats is just so.

[Francis]

Many tens of thousands. And imagine, which implies a minimum of 20,000. Multiple tens of thousands.

[Roan]

Yeah, that's a lot.

[Harry]

Imagine the mental fatigue of having to catalog that, of just being like, one, two, three of those.

[Roan]

What counts as a death threat? Because people. I feel like people are really thrown around.

[Francis]

Yeah. I don't think. I don't think. I hope you die as a death threat. I think it has to be. I'm going to kill you.

[Roan]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Francis]

That's a death threat.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

If I see you, I will kill you.

[Roan]

People get in DMs like that a lot. Like, I'm good. Like, I hope you die.

[Francis]

As I said, I got six.

[Roan]

Six.

[Francis]

When the Fox News thing happened.

[Roan]

It's not terrible.

[Francis]

Six or seven. They were all. By the way, they were all on Facebook messenger, of course.

[Roan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Francis]

So years ago, I had to form a Facebook. I had my own personal account from, like, high School and then I had to make a page so that I could do ads.

[Roan]

Oh yeah, yeah.

[Francis]

You have to enable through for Instagram. You have to enable like a page.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

So I built this page which I never really posted on but the last post that I had on there was when I was doing Caroline's breakout artist series at Caroline's. So this was like eight years ago. And when that Fox News things happened, all these older people, 50 to 60 year olds who they live on Facebook.

[Roan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Francis]

Found that page and started commenting on my Caroline's breakout artists where I was like, hey, come see me at Caroline's this weekend. They were like, don't go see him. I'm like, guys, this was in 2018.

[Roan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Francis]

This guy, he, he doesn't, he, he says he's grateful to be on Fox News and then he talks about it.

[Harry]

It's like, yeah, no, we're calling Caroline to try and get you cancelled. Bad news for you, buddy.

[Francis]

Yeah. You found a flyer on the wall of a bathroom that was 14 years late.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And you're telling people not to attend the event.

[Roan]

Yeah, it is.

[Harry]

That's why Facebook is the home for all of that. Because when you get to a certain age, maybe you're empty nested or you don't have the drive anymore that, that's the kind of thing that keeps your blood pumping inside. And it is sad, but it's. At least they have something. And I'm in real time watching some of my friends become that like I'm watching some people who are my age that I've grown up with. It'll like pop up on my like threads sometimes and they'll just be reply guy. And it is like a sad but like you're sad that it's happening but you're kind of happy for them that they have like the fight. A little fight still.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

You know, they haven't gone quietly into that night.

[Francis]

That's their water aerobics class.

[Harry]

Yeah. It really is like, oh good. Good for you. You're getting your body moving a little bit.

[Francis]

10 to 11am you know, get in the, get in the pool, you know, kick kickboard, do a lap every 14 minutes.

[Harry]

Guys, here's my holiday pattern. Tell myself to be thoughtful, panic at the last minute. Buy a gift card. This year I skipped a panic and gave an aura frame. Or frames are the go to gift that I have for my family. And now they're kind of the gift that I base all the other gifts off of where it's like, like what would my mom find sentimental to the same point that she would find an aura frame because everything else falls short. It's something that she looks at every day. She'll even text me and be like, this picture just came up in the aura frame. Reminded me of this great memory that I had. And when you cycle through pictures like you can on an aura frame, it kind of takes a little bit of the pressure about what picture you're going to put in because you're putting everything on there. Memories, great events, timeless stuff all fits on a personalized aura frame. You can even share photos and videos effortlessly.

[Francis]

I have, I'm a big aura frames guy. I have one on my kitchen counter and I love the fact that like my family adds photos to our shared aura frame album.

[Harry]

Yep.

[Francis]

And so I end up getting to see, you know, moments of happiness between my parents and my sister that I was not present for, making me realize I am not a favored child. Wild.

[Harry]

Hence you're going to New Zealand this year.

[Francis]

Christmas.

[Harry]

I'll show them for a limited time save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com to get 35 off Auras best selling Carver Matte frames named number one by Wirecutter by using promo code Boydad at checkout. That's a U R A frames.com promo code boydad. This deal is exclusive to listeners and frames sell out fast. So order yours now to get it in time for the holidays. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Just pop in that promo code Boydad. Terms and conditions apply.

[Francis]

Son of a boy. Dad is brought to you by DraftKings. We are deep into the NFL season and the boys we are doing everything we can. I'll tell you what. And the big news is that the DraftKings sportsbook has just opened in the state of Missouri. More on that in one second. One touchdown can change everything. The crowd, the momentum, the game itself. It never gets old. Feel that same rush with DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NFL. Where every touchdown could bring you closer to cashing in. With DraftKings Sportsbook. All the actions in your hands. First touchdown, anytime TV TD Live bets. Every play, every snap, every game matters. Missouri listeners listen up. DraftKings sportsbook is now live in the Show Me state. Congratulations you guys. You have now have access to the best sports book in the league. Here's the best part. New customers bet just five dollars and if your bet wins, you'll get 200 in bonus bets instantly. That's a five dollar weigh in. That's pretty darn good. When your team hits the end zone, you could hit the payout. Download the sports Excuse me? Download the DraftKings sportsbook app and use code BOYDAD. That's code BOYDAD. Bet five bucks and get 200 in bonus bets. If your bet wins in partnership with DraftKings, the Crown is yours.

[Harry]

Gambling problem call 1-800-Gambler in New York, call 877-8-Hopeny or text hopeny 467-369 in Connecticut. Help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org Please play.

[Roan]

Responsibly on behalf of Boot Hill Casino.

[Harry]

And Resort in Kansas. Pass through of per wager Tax May apply in Illinois, 21 and over age and el jurisdiction void in Ontario. Restrictions apply that must win to receive bonus bets which expire in seven days.

[Roan]

Minimum odds required.

[Harry]

For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see DKNG Co Audio limited Time Offer.

[Roan]

All righty, folks, let's talk about Rocket Money. Most of us know we should take control of our finances, but it's hard to know where to start. Rocket Money gives you the clarity and confidence to take that first step, helping you cut wasteful spending and take meaningful action toward your financial goals. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money shows you all your expenses in one place, including subscriptions you forgot about. If you see a subscription you no longer want, Rocket Money will help you cancel it. Their dashboard lays out your your total your total financial picture, including bill due dates and paydays, in a way that's easy to digest. You can even automatically create custom budgets based on your past spending. Rocket Money has saved over $2.5 billion, including over $800 million in canceled subscriptions alone. Their 10 million members save up to $740 a year when they use all of the app's premium features. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster. With Rocket Money money, go to rocketmoney.com boydad or/boy today. That's rocketmoney.com boy rocketmoney.com boy College football.

[Harry]

Season is in full swing, which means tailgates, cheering crowds, and the excitement of being in the stands before kickoff are all happening, too. You ever find yourself at a tailgate and decide to grab tickets last minute? That's where Game Time comes in. The Game Time app gives the advantage back to the fans. It's a hack for Unlocking amazing ticket and experiences in just a few taps. I mean, imagine game time this year when you're right outside at Death Valley about to go see LSU play for the first time as Lane Kiffin is taking the sideline. It's. I mean, it's. That's going to be the hottest ticket in town. But whatever the hottest ticket is, you go into game time, you can get into whatever game you want. There is no experience or event that is unapproachable. It's never sold out. With game time, there's always a way into the building. I mean, imagine those LSU tickets. Take the guesswork out of buying college football tickets with game time. Download the Game time app, create an account, use code BOYDAD for $20 off your first purchase terms. Apply. Again, create an account, redeem code B O Y D a D for $20 off. Swipe, tap ticket. Go download the Game time app.

[Francis]

Today I was in Florida over Thanksgiving and I went. There's a lap pool down there. And I went in there to swim. Now, I'm not great at swimming laps.

[Roan]

Not a lot.

[Harry]

That's one of the hardest exercises.

[Francis]

I'm solid, but I'm not great.

[Roan]

Do you do, like, the. The flip underwater?

[Francis]

No.

[Roan]

Push off, dude.

[Francis]

If I did that, the amount of water that would end up in my septum would be a full waterboard.

[Roan]

I tried doing it once and I just, like. It was just filled.

[Francis]

I have a hard enough time with the amount of water that ends up in my ears.

[Roan]

Oh, you get a lot of water in the ears.

[Francis]

How do you not.

[Harry]

The wax. He never cleans his.

[Roan]

Now I remember. I have such vivid memories of just being at my grandma's house and just having to just jump on one leg, trying to get the water out for hours.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

When it comes out, though, it feels great. Oh, it's better than an orgasm.

[Francis]

Sure.

[Roan]

It's, like, hot when it comes out.

[Harry]

Yeah, it just pulls like lava. Yeah. Hopping on one leg. I don't think I'm familiar with that.

[Roan]

You never had to hop on one leg.

[Francis]

I don't.

[Harry]

Maybe that's what I've been missing.

[Francis]

No, it's not hopping. He's. You're exaggerating. You shake your head like this.

[Roan]

Oh, I would fully jump. I'd be jumping up and down on one leg.

[Harry]

I had it. I had it trapped in my ear for, like, a week one time.

[Roan]

Yeah, same. It's the. And you would, like. You, like, roll over at night and you, like, hear it moving around. Yeah, yeah, that shit's. That's why I stopped swimming.

[Francis]

So when I swim laps. Hairball. I'm glad to hear that you're also a swimmer.

[Roan]

Yeah, of course.

[Harry]

Well, you used to.

[Francis]

I will. I'll do left, right, left. Turn to the right. Right, left, right, turn to the left to breathe. Every three strokes, I breathe on opposite sides. That's the cool way to do it.

[Roan]

I used to just go every stroke.

[Francis]

Oh, you did? See, you don't get the benefit of the glide if you do every stroke. Every time you pull your head out of the pool, you're adding a lot of drag tag to your stroke.

[Roan]

I see.

[Harry]

That's Newton's laws, bro.

[Roan]

Yeah. Are we talking breasts? We're talking butterfly?

[Francis]

What are we talking freestyle? Freestyle.

[Roan]

Freestyle, yeah.

[Francis]

But I don't understand how when you look at a real swimmer, the way that they turn their head to take a breath, half their mouth is still in the pool.

[Roan]

Oh, yeah.

[Francis]

So it's like, are they. Are they sipping air the way that I light a cigar?

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

It must be their nose.

[Francis]

Maybe out of the corner of my mouth. No, they're not getting it through their nose.

[Harry]

Definitely not their nose.

[Francis]

No way. They go, yeah, and it's just out of the left. They have their mouth closed. And then they. I guess they get the rest because when I do it, I come too far out because I'm worried about breathing in pool.

[Roan]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I would be worried about not going out far enough.

[Francis]

And I come all the way out, and I look like that swimmer from that one Olympic country where everyone else defaulted.

[Roan]

I don't know what it is.

[Francis]

And he just had to finish the two laps to qualify.

[Roan]

Oh, and he couldn't.

[Harry]

His legs are, like, way underwater. He, like, barely's kicking Papua New guinea or something.

[Roan]

I haven't seen this.

[Francis]

They'd never had an Olympian in the history of the country. Have you not seen that?

[Roan]

No, no.

[Francis]

Oh, it's very good. He can't swim.

[Roan]

I've never seen he fully.

[Francis]

He's, like, pulling himself along the lane lines.

[Harry]

I am an Olympian.

[Roan]

Is it the dude that's like, nine feet tall?

[Harry]

No, no, no. It's like a bad swimmer.

[Francis]

You seen that?

[Roan]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Harry]

I know exactly what you're talking about. Do you? What? What? How far do you get your legs out of the water? What kind of splash are you working?

[Francis]

I'm definitely not kicking the right way. I know I'm not kicking the right way.

[Roan]

Kick is supposed to be more of a push. Think of it as you're pushing off of the water. So you wouldn't want to get too far out. Then it's more of a smack. You got to be using the feet more as, like, propellers.

[Harry]

Show me. So. So if. If it's the surface, are they right under the surface or they come in right to the top of the surface?

[Roan]

Kind of just working with the surface, really. It's more of a collaboration.

[Harry]

Oh, I didn't realize.

[Roan]

It's. Yeah.

[Harry]

Supreme collab.

[Roan]

Yeah, exactly.

[Francis]

I think my kicks are slightly underwater. I don't think they're kicking up a whole.

[Harry]

They don't break the surface.

[Francis]

Not a lot of spume being thrown up.

[Roan]

That's good technique.

[Francis]

Not a lot of spume. And part of that is out of respect for the elderly women who are doing their bro. When I say that these women in this pool were moving so slowly that it almost seemed unnoticeable. Like, they had one of the little kickboards in their hands, but they were straight up and down otherwise.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And they're moving. There's no. There's no ripple from their movement. It's a drift. It is as if they are being propelled by a current.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Which is your current. They're probably just like Tokyo drifting off you.

[Francis]

It could well be. And as a result, out of respect for them, if I had been kicking up a huge spume, I would have gotten them wet, and I didn't want to do that. Yeah.

[Harry]

I've gone to resort pools and swam before, and I'd be like, how much, like, should I be getting a little bit more, like, out of water.

[Roan]

Kick.

[Harry]

And so I'll. I'll kick hard and get the spume. And I think more than once, my. I'll, like, come up. My wife have been like, you're splashing so much. Like, you're making a scene with how much you're splashing. Like, please stop. Like, I'm laughing. Leaving.

[Francis]

My dad. My dad swam when he was in, like, middle school or whatever, and he was good at the butterfly. And as a joke, sometimes when we're in a resort pool, he'll get in and he'll start doing the butterfly.

[Harry]

Bro.

[Francis]

The amount of spume that he throws off.

[Harry]

Insane.

[Francis]

The spume. It's like Old Faithful with every splash.

[Roan]

Yeah. The butterfly is. Is chaos.

[Francis]

The kick of the butterfly.

[Harry]

How did that make it into the Olympics?

[Roan]

I have no idea.

[Harry]

It's gotta be, like, there has to be other strokes that there's. Those are the only four strokes. The butterfly is so random and not helpful. The fact that it's so much slower than all the other Ways that's like if there was like hopping at the Olympics along with running.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

The butterfly is insane. It looks cool though.

[Francis]

It is cool. It is cool. It's the most gorilla technique of swimming. Like you're, you look like you're doing.

[Roan]

Like push ups off the water.

[Francis]

Yeah. You're, you're throw. It's as if you're trying to get your entire body out of the water.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

I do think the. I think it's cool. The butterfly stroke, stroke, breaststroke is, is.

[Harry]

To me the smoothest.

[Roan]

We took. I took swimming classes when I was really young, like. Or not. And we would do like little lanes, we would do laps and we. One time we did it with the fins and I hit the dude behind me. I hit him in the face. Came out just gushing blood. Yeah. It was awful. It was a scene.

[Francis]

What kind of fins?

[Roan]

I think the whole day got shut down.

[Francis]

The Wolverine claw metal tipped fins.

[Harry]

He was swimming with grandpa.

[Francis]

Really.

[Roan]

I think what probably happened was I was probably going slow as shit and then he was flying.

[Francis]

Yeah. Trying too hard.

[Roan]

He was riding me.

[Harry]

Honestly, that's.

[Roan]

What can you do? I hit him with a brake check. Let him know.

[Francis]

Boxers get off my ass when boxers pack cinder into their gloves.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Into the tape of their gloves.

[Harry]

I was driving.

[Francis]

You put metal in the tips of your fins.

[Roan]

Razor blades lead.

[Harry]

They check your fins afterwards. I didn't know it was in there.

[Francis]

He's coming up on me. Bring me this. Bring me the special ones.

[Harry]

I was driving back from Delaware this past weekend after Thanksgiving and someone started. I was in the left lane going probably 12 to 15, probably 12 miles over the speed limit or something like that.

[Francis]

That.

[Harry]

But I was passing other people camping. I was. No, I was passing people on the right.

[Roan]

Exactly.

[Harry]

I was passing exactly.

[Roan]

This is, this is literally the entire thing that I talked about.

[Francis]

No, it isn't.

[Harry]

Yes it is.

[Francis]

You're so full.

[Harry]

I said you're going right behind someone who is going the same speed as.

[Roan]

And then you're wondering, you're like, well, how fast does this person want me to go?

[Francis]

No.

[Roan]

200.

[Francis]

We're going to have Ron tell this story. But to be clear, he's still passing people. Your story was that you were not passing anymore.

[Roan]

I'm still flying.

[Harry]

And I was trying to pass. It was a two lane highway and I was trying to pass as many people as. As possible. So I was behind the person at a respectable following distance.

[Roan]

You in a rush?

[Harry]

Kid's crying in the back seat, brother.

[Roan]

Yeah, because you're going 400 miles per hour.

[Francis]

Brett, let me tell you something. 400 in a GX550 feels like 100 in any other car. That thing is smooth and high.

[Harry]

It just. It creeps right up there.

[Roan]

Safe too.

[Francis]

Cuts through the air like it's doing the butterfly.

[Harry]

The aeronautics of it are incredible. The someone. So someone started riding my ass. I was like this.

[Roan]

Yeah, of course.

[Harry]

Because I was. I was annoyed and furious. I was about to start putting on the. The flippers with the. With the fur.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Harry]

And I was just like angrily like, get the off my ass. Like I'm trying to. I'm trying to be a part of this. Like you're not going to get closer. If they flashed at me and I was like. And I almost like wanted to break check them. But I'm like, I'm gonna be smart and level headed. And then they threw on the sirens. Cops. Oh no. It was cops behind me. Thought that I wasn't going fast enough in the left lane.

[Roan]

So you got a rat.

[Harry]

You got. No, no, no, I didn't. They just threw on the sirens and I went into the right lane. I went into the right lane and then they went up on the person in front of me and they hit them with the sirens too. Like they were clearing the left lane so people could have. I love that safer passing lane.

[Francis]

We need that for Harry.

[Roan]

We might have like. We might have to cut this out. This is bad for you.

[Francis]

No.

[Roan]

Why?

[Harry]

Because I was going too fast or too slow. Make sure he was.

[Roan]

You got. Literally almost got pulled over for left lane camp.

[Francis]

Yeah, but he didn't.

[Harry]

There was someone in front of me.

[Francis]

I did. Didn't happen because you were in Vancouver where all the police are on.

[Roan]

I was in New York City going to Stamford.

[Francis]

Is that where you were?

[Roan]

Yes.

[Francis]

Weren't you. Weren't you out in Seattle?

[Harry]

You were in Washington. I know you're.

[Roan]

I thought that whole thing was about when I was talking about driving to Stanford.

[Harry]

No, it's about when you're going. When you went to band.

[Francis]

It was when you.

[Roan]

I was never in band.

[Francis]

You were in the Pacific Northwest. It was.

[Roan]

Yes, I was in Washington.

[Francis]

Damn it, dude. How do I know your life better.

[Roan]

Than I think it might have been two weeks back to back? Because remember, I tried to. I remember I tried to come back from it, but that just. I mean that just saved it. Yeah. I'm not. I got nothing to say. The guys that are on me for left lane camping are getting. They're getting flashed saying get over. What the hell are you doing in the left lane?

[Harry]

I'm going 30. So was I going 500 or was I going 30?

[Roan]

Sounds like you were going under.

[Francis]

He's still. He's still passing people though.

[Roan]

Doesn't sound like it.

[Harry]

And I was behind a guy in front of me, so there's a car in front of me and a car next to him. So I can't pass that car because the guy in front of me is not going.

[Roan]

You got your man card ripped out of your hands in front of your whole family.

[Harry]

I'm vulnerable and you're punishing me for my vulnerability. That's the last time I tell you anything.

[Francis]

I'm going to go.

[Harry]

I'm not going to say anything.

[Francis]

I'm withdrawn here and I'm going to buy Alexis as soon as this episode.

[Harry]

Now we're talking because they have EVs.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah. Yes. Good, good, good. Harry, you were.

[Roan]

This is almost as bad as me losing to Francis and Halo. To this day, your story might be worse.

[Francis]

You're trying to discredit him to blow the smoke off of you. But the truth remains that you were camping. You had pitched a tent, you had cleared the brush beneath your space.

[Roan]

You guys got to get out to Washington and drive on those highways.

[Harry]

Why? Smooth.

[Roan]

No, people go like 300 miles per hour hour. It's like something you've never seen. It's like 85.

[Harry]

It's better to not be in the left lane. Then I'm on a two laner in.

[Roan]

Delaware getting pulled over. I've never heard of someone getting pulled over for going too slow.

[Harry]

I just had a lead blocker.

[Roan]

Maybe like my grandparents. It's genuinely shocking.

[Francis]

But it was just. It wasn't even a pullover. It was just a.

[Roan]

It was a nudge.

[Francis]

It was snow plowing. Yeah, way.

[Roan]

I mean probably turned that thing expecting to see like an 85 year old lady driving the car.

[Harry]

You think there's a 85 year old driving a blacked out?

[Roan]

No.

[Harry]

You get tinted, custom rims, tinted, full, fully loaded package. You think an 85 year old sitting high like that? God, no, bro.

[Francis]

The. Imagine if they had pulled you over. I think the likelihood of you getting a ticket There is is 0.001%. I'm sorry. We were rushing home because I have twins in the back seat.

[Harry]

My wife's sitting in between them. My dog in the front seat, the entire car.

[Roan]

Pile of THC drinks to the right of you.

[Francis]

No wonder he's going so slowly.

[Harry]

I thought I was flying.

[Francis]

I thought this was the Right lane.

[Harry]

Oh my God. Yeah. I roll down the window and a billow of smoke.

[Roan]

Whoa. You've got one of those like cab dividers between you and the kids.

[Harry]

Do you remember during COVID that those cab dividers, some of them had like a H vac pipe.

[Francis]

They have what Harry has in his bedroom.

[Roan]

Yes, exactly. Connecting to the back. Yeah.

[Harry]

What was that for? What was that supposed to do?

[Francis]

It was because they wanted the air conditioning to get back to us and most of those cars had vents in the front and it was hot. So in order to actually thought it was a really nice thing that they did. It was the best air conditioning we ever had in cabs.

[Roan]

Oh, definitely.

[Francis]

And when they did away with it, it got hot again.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Harry]

I can't believe cabs still exist with Uber being around in New York.

[Roan]

So much better.

[Harry]

That is not true.

[Roan]

It's fully true.

[Harry]

It's patently false.

[Roan]

They're so much cheaper.

[Harry]

They are not.

[Francis]

I don't think they are, dude.

[Roan]

Maybe because you guys don't go. Maybe it's because you guys don't go to Manhattan.

[Harry]

If I take a cab.

[Roan]

No, I mean, I'm talking about, I'm talking about like from the airport. Like if I take a cab from Newark to my apartment or from LaGuardia to my apartment, it's like $50 cheaper than the pricing.

[Francis]

And they know exactly what they can get away with compared to the price of an Uber and they keep it there.

[Roan]

I, I feel like for most of the time I've gotten, it's been significantly cheaper.

[Francis]

Cheaper.

[Harry]

The last, when I was leaving the airport, a cab cut in to the line.

[Roan]

Oh yeah.

[Harry]

Of cabs that are going into the airport and it's like a two to three hour wait for the cabs at the airport. Can you imagine that?

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

That's crazy.

[Harry]

Most of the dudes are renting their cabs from other dudes who have the medallion. So they need to pay like 200 a day just to get into the black a little bit.

[Francis]

I don't know. I've always wondered this. I don't understand. I. What part of the five boroughs these drivers live in where they can actually make a living and break even driving cabs. I don't understand. How far out in Queens do you have to go?

[Harry]

And it is definitely Queens. When it's.

[Francis]

Yeah. To find something affordable enough to live on what these guys like, clear.

[Roan]

I don't know how much the cab driver makes. I don't know. I know like the Uber dudes, some of them, they, they they they with the system where they go, like, they'll have like Lyft, Uber.

[Harry]

I was just talking to a West African cab driver about this or an Uber driver extensively because he. We. The guy cut in and we had the entire conversation about how much cab drivers make. And he said they used to be pulling in a thousand or $2,000 a day, like easily clearing that. And then Uber came along and it slashed it. And it's like they need to. I mean an airport trip I think is flat rate. $65. Is that what it is? Is you said you take cabs all the time.

[Roan]

Well, I mean not. It's not like every day.

[Harry]

I think it's 65.

[Francis]

You wouldn't have to be every day. 65 still given.

[Roan]

Well, maybe 65 to your place. I don't know how much given your confidence on. I didn't know there was a flat.

[Francis]

Rate claim you made of taking.

[Roan]

All I know is that nowadays it cost me like over a hundred bucks to Uber home from airport.

[Francis]

And what does it cost you to take a cash cab from LaGuardia to your apartment?

[Roan]

Probably like 65, 70.

[Francis]

I think you should know that number.

[Harry]

Especially if you're saying less.

[Roan]

I know it's less.

[Harry]

Are you tipping on that seat on that flat rate? Of course I'm tipping on the flat rate.

[Francis]

Yes.

[Harry]

So that brings it a little bit closer.

[Francis]

Yeah, but we're tipping on the Uber.

[Roan]

I would rather give $1,000 to the cabs than ever give a dollar to Uber again. I fucking hate that them. I hope their company goes out of business.

[Harry]

They won't. But did they. What, they ban you for something?

[Roan]

No, I wish. Be easier to walk away. No, I'm trying to go. I'm trying to get off Uber. Why? Because they control my life, which is. I can't be so dependent on one app.

[Francis]

Yeah. What are they? What are they? Do you do Uber Eats mostly.

[Roan]

Oh, yeah.

[Francis]

Not doordash.

[Roan]

Oh, now I'm a doordash man.

[Harry]

Doordash is going to put Uber Eats out of business.

[Francis]

Business.

[Harry]

Or maybe not.

[Roan]

Actually doordash came out before Uber eats.

[Harry]

I know, but doordash is having. I think they're having a moment. Do you feel that? Where GrubHub is coming to the wayside.

[Roan]

Look at.

[Francis]

Dude, someone.

[Harry]

I said they fell to the waist.

[Roan]

The 90s.

[Harry]

That's what I'm saying. I'm agreeing.

[Francis]

It used to be seamless. Yeah.

[Harry]

Seamless and grubhub. Yeah.

[Roan]

Where's my seamless caviar?

[Francis]

Caviar was the Fancy1. But DoorDash bought caviar are.

[Harry]

And Door Dash wiped all those out. And Uber Eats is the only competitor.

[Francis]

Door Dash has become a like, unicorn company.

[Roan]

They're.

[Francis]

They're what they swooped up of market share of food delivery is like in. They're a model company. They're cited as company that others should follow.

[Roan]

I think the reason that Uber is just going to always be bigger is because they. They got the two in one.

[Francis]

I don't think. I don't necessarily think Uber Eats does more business than. Let me look that up.

[Harry]

But they're like, we might as well just sell food. We have bikes on the road.

[Roan]

Exactly, Exactly.

[Harry]

We have people outside.

[Roan]

Yeah, they got the. They got the. You can get. Look, I'll admit it. I've had times where I've been Ubering home from the airport and I've ordered food on the Uber app while I'm Ubering home. Like, that's. Like, that's too much. I'm giving too much money to Uber. Yeah.

[Harry]

They run your life. That's like singularity.

[Roan]

That's. They have full control. They've got my balls in their hands.

[Francis]

Listen to this here. You ready for this? Door Dash holds a. A larger market share in the United States than Uber Eats, controlling 56 to 67% of market share where Uber Eats has 23 to 25%.

[Roan]

Damn. That's surprising.

[Harry]

So who's that? Who's the last pieces of the pie?

[Roan]

So should I stay?

[Francis]

You know, Grubhub and small business. Whatever. Other small ones.

[Harry]

A mom and pop.

[Roan]

Yeah. Support small business.

[Francis]

DoorDash has 130 million active users.

[Harry]

Good God. Are there. Is it all in the US it leads because that's everyone.

[Francis]

DoorDash leads in driver gross earnings with higher weekly and monthly averages for drivers. So Harry's preference for Uber Eats. The drivers are getting far less of that money. He doesn't want them to have it because they're not from this country.

[Harry]

No, no.

[Roan]

That's what I want. The drivers to get the money. So I'll switch to DoorDash.

[Francis]

As you should.

[Roan]

Yeah, I don't want Uber getting a single fucking red center.

[Francis]

Someone told me, and I don't know if this is true, that Lyft drivers receive a far higher percentage of the fare than Uber drivers do.

[Harry]

Look at that market share share.

[Francis]

Lyft and Uber.

[Harry]

Because Lyft.

[Roan]

Lyft's gotta have their guy be clawing for 1%.

[Francis]

I think it's probably like 70. 30 would be my guess.

[Harry]

Yeah. Oh, I think it's. I think that they have like 12% who rides a lift.

[Roan]

There are weird cities where you like needless.

[Francis]

Look at this.

[Roan]

Like, I think like Tampa, Florida.

[Francis]

God Damn. Uber has 70 to 76%. Lyft holds 24 to 30%. I had it on the.

[Harry]

Francis. Your Francis continues. Incredible.

[Roan]

I gotta piss real bad.

[Francis]

Go ahead. I did finally get paid for my Internet invitational winnings.

[Harry]

That explains the full wool suit that you're wearing right now.

[Francis]

Yeah, I went shopping immediately.

[Harry]

Is this one of the purchases?

[Francis]

Yep. This was in the shoes, too.

[Harry]

That's not going on Poshmark.

[Francis]

No. Although I did list a bunch of. On Poshmark. Poshmark. I don't know what. Have you fucking sold stuff on there before?

[Harry]

God, no. I'm never selling a piece of clothes. I'll either throw it in the trash, put in the donation bin, but I'm never putting. I'm never adding to the secondhand market of New York City.

[Francis]

It is my guilt doing it. I have clothes that are not worn down to the threads that I just want to get rid of because I don't wear them anymore. And they're taking up space in my closet. And I care deeply about keeping things as minimalistic as I possibly keep can.

[Harry]

I think nasty things are going on with the donation bins, though. I think people donate clothes and I think that there's secondhand resellers from L Train Vintage who are digging through the crates, being like, this is a grill.

[Francis]

Wasn't there a. A video of guys going in and stealing the clothes? I think I saw that.

[Harry]

That doesn't surprise me at all. I mean, I want my Louis Vuitton secondhand going to a homeless person, a mother in need. I don't want some hype beast reselling it on Soho or something.

[Francis]

Well, I do enjoy the videos of guys who are thrifting and they go into a store, a Goodwill or something, and they're like, holy, look at this, look at this.

[Harry]

But there's like, so many middlemen of buyers who are like, yeah, already, like, grabbing that up, curating it, keeping it for themselves, selling it.

[Roan]

Boy, dad drop.

[Harry]

Yeah, that. It's. It's creating a big secondary market.

[Francis]

And yeah, I do think, though, that there are donation centers that are probably more honest and better run than others. I think Housing Works is a really good one. They also do the. They sell Harry's weed for him. And that's a good place to donate clothes, I think.

[Harry]

I just don't want it getting sold. I would. I would Make. I'd be so pissed off if it was sold to somebody like that. I want it on the back of somebody who badly needs an ass naked person.

[Francis]

Then what you can do, and I have done this, is you can find a homeless person on the street and just hand them your jacket.

[Harry]

They'll be like, grail, I need to sell this.

[Francis]

Wow, this is fire. This is some heat.

[Harry]

The way I used to donate clothes when I lived in Bushwick is I would take the folded clothes I didn't want and stack them on my recycling bin outside. And by the time I came outside again to, like, drop the actual recycling off, they were gone.

[Francis]

Yeah, dude, I did that once. I had a. A humidor. A small humidor of old. Old, old cigars. Cigars that were so old, they were dusty.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

You know, if you picked them up, they would flake. Like a wafer. Yeah, like a chocolate wafer. And I had, like, four or five of them in there, but they were good cigars. And I did. I was like, I don't smoke cigars enough anymore to have this silly humidor. So I just put it out on the street, and I was watching out my window, window as a guy, probably homeless, came along, and he saw the humidor, and he picked it up, and he opened it up and he went like that. And then he closed it, looked around, and walked away. And I was like, that was perfect.

[Roan]

Yeah, that's exactly what I wanted.

[Francis]

I wanted him to feel as if he'd found a treasure.

[Roan]

Yeah, of course.

[Francis]

And they were, like, Cuban cigars.

[Harry]

Did he, like, smell it? Long ways.

[Francis]

Like, he didn't even.

[Harry]

But that's so nice.

[Francis]

I know that when he lights that.

[Roan]

First cigar and it lights immediately, it's.

[Francis]

Gonna burn like a dynamite fuse right up to his mouth. One drag and it's all just.

[Harry]

And he won't give a. Yeah.

[Francis]

Eyebrows are gonna be singed.

[Harry]

Yeah, that's gonna be such a nice feeling for him.

[Francis]

Guys, my. My New Zealand trip is coming right up. I know.

[Roan]

The holidays.

[Francis]

I'm getting a little scared.

[Harry]

Why? Shaqs just.

[Francis]

Just bit off, spit off a lot more of. A lot of. To chew.

[Roan]

You know, I would say you can chew at all.

[Francis]

I mean, even the. The flight alone is intimidating.

[Roan]

The flight alone is one of the more intimidating parts.

[Francis]

I'm going Boston.

[Roan]

LA.

[Francis]

LA. You're talking 17 hours Boston.

[Roan]

When you just said you're going Boston to la, that made me so zick. The fact that you're going to Boston, you have to go to Boston, then la.

[Francis]

I Mean, how. Whatever. How else. We live on the East Coast. How else are you going to get there? Yeah, I think there may be a direct from New York to Auckland. I don't know, but it's certainly not on Delta.

[Harry]

I'm in the complete opposite boat. If I was you, I'd be giddy about this flight.

[Francis]

I'm.

[Harry]

Yeah, a really nice, really long flight where you can, like, you basically can change into button down pajamas on this flight and it wouldn't be looked that weird. You could probably like, you'll watch two seasons of Euphoria on the flight. Have eight servings of short rib, three bottles of Sauvignon blanc. There'll be a fucking. The. The menu will have a chef and the kitchen that he's associated with. There's going to be so much nice stuff going on in this flight.

[Francis]

I don't know, dude, I hate, I hate to say this. It is Delta. It's. I don't know, it's not like Air France or Swiss airlines. I don't know if I'm getting that sick.

[Harry]

You'd be like, what? I've heard ever since your United beating of the drum, I've heard some nasty things about United.

[Roan]

Really?

[Harry]

Look, go to Za's Twitter.

[Roan]

Well, Zah, I will say he runs into flying issues quite often.

[Francis]

They're like, sir, you, you, you're going to need to take half a seat.

[Roan]

Zar is terrified of flying.

[Francis]

Really?

[Roan]

Like you couldn't imagine.

[Harry]

All he does is run flight sims, though.

[Roan]

Does he do flight sims or is it trained sims? He is terrified of flying. Like he. Dude, a couple years ago, he got in like, he got delayed. He got delayed so bad they had to dump fuel over the ocean. And he was live tweeting about it like he was fully preparing to die.

[Francis]

The fuck? I never even heard of that. What is that? Like, was he on Air Force One or something?

[Roan]

I think he was on one of those long flights from Zimbabwe or something.

[Francis]

Wow.

[Harry]

Africa.

[Roan]

He's from Zimbabwe, right? Yeah.

[Harry]

Have you ever seen like Nigerians on a flight with like a little bit of turbulence? They're like, oh, Lord, please help us. This plane will not go down.

[Roan]

I've seen some fucking. I used to watch videos of like crazy turbulence and the people yelling and there's one where the dude's just like, put this thing on the ground now.

[Francis]

Hey, I have a weird question and this is to both of you. If you have an answer or anyone who might know what is the likelihood that, let's say you buy a bunch of Shit. In a foreign country and then you fly home with it in your bag. What is the likelihood that customs at JFK is going to open up my bag.

[Roan]

Zero.

[Francis]

And see that I bought a bunch of stuff and be like, you didn't declare this. You owe import fees on it.

[Roan]

Zero.

[Harry]

For you at jfk. Zero.

[Francis]

Why? Why me? What. What do I. Why do I have.

[Roan]

When was the last time you went through customs at jfk?

[Francis]

I don't know.

[Roan]

Know, it might be easier to board a flight from Boston to New York. Oh, or it might. That might be easier. Like, they don't do anything. They literally just look for you.

[Harry]

I mean, I think that there's people who are flying with, like, paint, like. Or like, paper boxes just, like, filled with loose cabbages. Flying into jfk, there's people with the weirdest luggage with the weirdest inside of it that like, like, they're worried about, like, undocumented and unregulated produce and people smuggling drugs.

[Roan]

Don't bring a lot of one thing.

[Harry]

They don't give a.

[Francis]

No, I get that. I'm just saying, you know, when you to buy to. I like Japanese clothing. Okay, Hand up clothes. I'm guilty. Yeah, clothes. I'm not bringing cabbages home.

[Roan]

I don't know if you're going to bring, like, cheese or wine or some shit.

[Harry]

No, no, but clothes, some raw denim, they don't give a fuck about that.

[Roan]

I don't think you have to declare.

[Francis]

I read about this on Reddit. Yes, you do. Because, dude, think of it like, if I buy clothes in Japan and I fly home with them in my bag, if I were to have shipped them from Japan, you have to pay a huge import fee.

[Roan]

Yeah, but you're the one paying for the flight.

[Francis]

No, but that doesn't. That doesn't indemnify you against having to pay the fees like that should.

[Roan]

That should clear you of everything.

[Harry]

No, that's like the one going to.

[Roan]

New Zealand to buy the Japanese. Now them.

[Harry]

That's the Japanese travel hack, is that you're supposed to bring a suitcase with a small suitcase inside of it, and you use the extra suitcase to fill it with clothes while you're in Japan and fly back with all that.

[Francis]

Right.

[Harry]

If all those people doing that are paying a fucking declaration fee, I would.

[Francis]

Like to do that. But I did read up on Reddit and it seemed to be that there was a consensus of don't. Don't do it.

[Roan]

Reddit's filled with paranoid fucking schizophrenics. You don't got to listen to them. It is the fucking going over the worst case scenario.

[Francis]

Yeah, but dude, there were. There were comments being like, don't even worry about it at all. There's no one that voiced because you.

[Harry]

Can'T get any upvotes from being like, you're good.

[Roan]

Yeah, they'll be like, well, actually, I.

[Harry]

This happened to my good friend.

[Francis]

All right, let me know if you know and you've ever flown to fucking.

[Roan]

All your clothes that you get and then just throw like one Nike hoodie over them.

[Francis]

Well, I'm wondering. I'm wondering if I need to buy clothes or whatever and then, like, get some sauce on them so that if they open up my shit, I can be like, look that at. Get that. See that stain? I've had that for years.

[Roan]

No, that's insane.

[Francis]

Cut all the tags off, dude.

[Roan]

People have told me.

[Francis]

People have told me. Now, granted, girls friends of mine who are girls who went to Europe because they're like, buying luxury in Europe is way cheaper. Yeah, they were like, when I fly to Europe, I worry about this so much that for the items I bring there that I already own, I actually keep. I have receipts with me to prove when I get back that I already owned the thing.

[Harry]

What the fuck?

[Roan]

I have not heard of this ever again.

[Francis]

I do think there's some profiling at play here where if, you know, I were some girl in a Chanel sweatsuit coming home from a trip to Paris with two gigantic pieces of rolling luggage. And I go up to customs, and they're like, do you have anything to declare? And I say, no, maybe they're cracking in. But if I'm coming in as a guy in a T shirt and jeans.

[Harry]

And like, that's just girls being paranoid. Because imagine if you actually just had a bunch of your own nice in a suitcase and some hoity toity Parisian customs official is like, you have to pay tax on all of this. And it's like, this is my. Imagine how ballistic you would go if they tried to make you pay a tax on your stuff.

[Francis]

I agree. I agree.

[Harry]

Can I fall victim to girl brain around the holidays too? They will drain you.

[Francis]

Okay. I don't.

[Harry]

Man, you're an intrepid traveler. You're going across the world. Like, you're not about to girl out and be like, yeah, I will say.

[Roan]

Are you bringing any fishing stuff?

[Francis]

No, I'm gonna rent.

[Roan]

Yeah, then you're fine.

[Francis]

I'm gonna rent.

[Roan]

Because that.

[Harry]

The fishing officials, they.

[Roan]

They're like, super weird about that because you can bring, like, Bacteria and yeah. Affect their waters.

[Francis]

I don't plan to bring stuff home from New Zealand. I. I had have a buddy who's in Japan right now and I was hoping he would bring home some stuff for me, but I don't want to like string him up with throwing a pair of jeans.

[Roan]

Throw a pair of jeans in there.

[Harry]

You got to get like 10 pairs of jeans.

[Francis]

I want a lot of pairs of pants and jeans. Denim. Yeah, you can't even fold them.

[Harry]

Selvage stiff denim. You're gonna have to get a jeans shaped suitcase to put them all.

[Roan]

Yeah, you're gonna have to put them in like the cat. Hang my jeans in the cabinet.

[Harry]

Can I stand up these jeans in there?

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Y. I got a jet, fellas.

[Francis]

All right.

[Roan]

Good.

[Francis]

All right. Fun.

[Harry]

That was fun as hell. Buy. Buy some. Son of a boy. Dad merch.

[Roan]

Yes, please. We'll see you guys on Thursday. I'm going to be in Dallas in two weeks at the Addison Improv. Tickets@Harry Soda website dot com. Five shows.

[Francis]

Ah. I will be in Boston Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, seven shows. I think there's some tickets left for the Wednesday and the Thursday late tickets at punchup live. Francis Ellis. The ground. So I looked older to you Came.

[Roan]

Around I was only falling one way.

[Francis]

I was only falling one way Days.

[Roan]

Were drifting.

[Francis]

Now I come alive.

[Roan]

Wedding.

[Francis]

I was only folding one way I was only folding one way I was only folding one way that is true. You're right. Did you realize no one can take.

[Harry]

Me alive.

[Roan]

I was only falling one way.

[Francis]

Be just a distant life forever right. Call it just a memory Take my head and you can see. Sam.

[Roan]

You realize.