The Bush's Week in Birmingham | Son of a Boy Dad #388

Summary

Son of a Boy Dad #388

"The Bush's Week in Birmingham"

Date: March 31, 2026
Hosts: Francis, Harry, and Roan (Barstool Sports)

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Episode Overview

In this episode, the hosts recount their tumultuous trip to Birmingham for the Telluride Bush esports (Call of Duty) tournament. They dive into travel mishaps, a disastrous car crash, the trials and errors of international Airbnbs, team underperformance, and the culture shock of the UK. Other threads include musings on self-improvement, streaming culture, airline loyalty, purchasing art, and humorous commentary on airport security.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Travel Adventures and Misadventures (00:00–08:00)

• The group discusses their recent trip to the UK, focusing on fits, duty free purchases, and navigating airports.
• Quote (Roan, 03:25): “This is the most attracted to you I've ever been.”
• They joke about Harry “looks-maxing" (self-improvement for physical looks) and travel fashion.
• Harry’s choice of airport gear and soccer jerseys sparks playful teasing.

2. Debate: Looksmaxing, Streaming Culture & Clavicular (08:00–23:00)

• The trio gets into "looksmaxing" — using everything from dry shampoo to jaw exercises and even referencing meth and painkillers as jokes about how some Internet figures try to look their best.
• The online personality “Clavicular” is dissected—his strange internet persona, use of drugs, his appearance on Andrew Callahan’s show, and his notoriety for men’s rights "crusades".
• Quote (Roan, 10:57): “If my whole thing is smokes meth, the face of perfection… probably not showing up to an interview when I’m really not looking good.”
• Conversation becomes a tongue-in-cheek meditation on physical and psychological self-acceptance.
• Roan talks about prepping for his college reunion with “traps and delts” since he lacks a wife or children, joking that “meth is a quick” way to trim down. (22:21)

3. The Car Crash in England (30:35–49:00)

• Main story: the Telluride Bush team’s van was in a car accident the first night in England.
• Quote (Francis, 32:05): “Airbnb is a disaster… They said there's gonna be five king beds. There wasn't a single king bed. Not one."
• Details of the crash: unfamiliar roads, left-side driving, and distracted team members led to totaling two vehicles.
• The wild Airbnb experience included false advertising, surprise house check-ins by the host, and more chaos.
• After the crash, the group switched to Uber for the remainder of the trip.
• Quote (Roan, 41:21): "Can't make this up." (referring to the crash due to wrong side driving)

4. Team Performance & Esports Frustrations (52:16–66:24)

• After the crash, the team never gained momentum, ultimately placing 8th out of 83 despite high expectations.
• Quote (Francis, 55:29): “It’s been stewing up and just building up.”
• The group reflects on the stress of representing Barstool at high-profile events, public criticism, and internet commenters.
• The importance of energy, “glue guys” (team leaders), and morale in both competitive gaming and real sports.
• Discussion on spreading accountability between staff and players, with Roan suggesting the team needs more discipline and fire.

5. Financials, Sponsorship, and Bush Team Uncertainty (71:44–74:41)

• Byron, a key player and “face” of the roster, is at risk of being poached by pro teams.
• Roan jokes about poaching Byron with a $75k offer, referencing his impulse art purchases and money management goals.
• Quote (Roan, 73:39): “I don’t think it’s tone deaf to say I want to save money.”

6. International Tournament Culture & British Pub Food (80:12–84:31)

• Cultural notes on pub visits, the underwhelming bar food, and lack of memorable British dining experiences.
• Briefs on how content output from the trip was limited due to crash-related legalities and logistical failures.

7. Art Collecting and Status Anxiety (85:04–98:35)

• Roan details his foray into serious art collecting, purchasing a $16,000 painting after years of waiting, and the psychology behind scarcity marketing in the art world.
• Hosts riff on gallery relationships, the “art flex,” and the winding journey of art as investment versus enjoyment.
• Quote (Roan, 97:44): “I just like what I like. I don’t necessarily think I have good taste… but $16,000 is an absurd amount of money.”

8. Airport Security and ICE at Airports (122:00–128:17)

• Reflections on seeing ICE agents (Immigration and Customs Enforcement) manning airports, their intimidating presence, lack of professionalism, and the discomfort it caused the hosts in both Florida and New York airports.
• Discussion on the grey area of their legal authority and the increased militarization of airport security.
• Quote (Francis, 125:13): “They’re not real police… not trained… just sign up and now they have a gun in the airport.”

9. Odds & Ends: Musings and Riffs (104:00–122:17)

• Short bits about British slang, wanting to travel more, golf woes, and family stories fill out the last segment.
• Roan shares an anecdote about a member-guest golf tournament with his dad, highlighting the oddities of handicap rules and regional differences.
• The difficulties of picking up old sports as an adult in the Northeast are discussed, with theories about “muscle memory” from childhood.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Roan, on travel fits: "You showed up in different colors than you've ever worn. That light blue is making your everything pop.” (07:15)
• Francis, on disaster in Birmingham: “We crashed both cars. Totaled. That was night one.” (33:46)
• Francis, on Barstool hierarchy: “You got to let him know… Like, yo, we just crashed the car. The power structure is so insane.” (39:32)
• Roan, on losing at the event: “It's the fall from grace. And now you got to fight your way back… The redemption at the end of the arc will feel that much sweeter.” (58:13)
• Francis, on the trolls: “People want it to fail so bad… Like, it actually went well. Like, we got a lot of good content out and it all did well.” (77:01)
• Roan, on buying art: “It's like having physicians’ assistants and thinking you're gonna go see the actual doctor.” (91:24)
• Francis, on London Airbnbs: “They just lied about everything. They said there's gonna be five king beds. There wasn't a single king bed. Not one.” (32:05)
• On ICE at airports: “It’s not like seeing a cop at the airport… They’re not real police… they just have a gun in the airport.” (125:37)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Airport fashion and looksmaxing: 00:15–07:39
• Debating Clavicular & streaming culture: 07:40–23:00
• The Birmingham car crash explained: 30:35–49:00
• Tournament recap & underperformance: 52:16–66:24
• Art collecting tangent: 85:04–98:35
• Airport ICE agents discussion: 122:00–128:17

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Tone and Language

The conversation is quintessentially Barstool: irreverent, brash, and self-deprecating, filled with inside jokes and bromantic teasing. The episode is thick with sarcasm, candid venting, and long, winding riffs about the odd particularities of travel, esports, and adult life.

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Summary Takeaway

Episode #388 captures an eventful, chaotic week for the Bush esports team and Barstool staff as they navigate international travel disasters, the pitfalls of content creation, team disappointment, and the ever-present challenges of status and self-acceptance. The mishaps—both logistical and existential—are filtered through the hosts’ sharp, self-aware banter, making for an engaging snapshot of the Barstool universe at its most unfiltered.

Transcript

[Harry]

Hey, Son of a Boy dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.

[Francis]

All right.

[Harry]

Ready?

[Francis]

Yeah. All righty. Welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad Podcast. Today it is March 30th.

[Harry]

Are you putting that back?

[Roan]

We'll save that for later.

[Harry]

You can't put an already dipped Nutella.

[Roan]

I was.

[Harry]

You just gotta. You just gotta eat it.

[Roan]

I knew how much longer that bite would take. And we've begun.

[Francis]

Yeah, we've begun.

[Roan]

And I don't want to be eating.

[Francis]

No time for that right now.

[Harry]

Harry could filibuster for a little bit. Enjoy.

[Roan]

Phil. Buster. I don't know who's talking, but what I do know. Phil.

[Francis]

Fuck Buster. Fuck them both.

[Harry]

Buster.

[Roan]

Buster Douglas. Look at Harry. I'm gonna say something.

[Francis]

I was gonna be jealous you don't have this jacket. I got a. I got a. What's it called? Jersey, too.

[Harry]

Let him be gay for a second.

[Francis]

Manchester jersey.

[Roan]

In London.

[Francis]

Yeah. At the airport. This was all at the airport this morning. I had a lot of time to kill.

[Roan]

You know, you might have shops. You might have thought, yes, there are unbelievable. Duty. Freeze.

[Francis]

But then I left. No, this was. It's actually a store they have in New York. It's like JP Sports or some shit. JD Sports. You know what I'm talking about.

[Roan]

JD Vance.

[Francis]

Yes. That's what it is. No, but they had a bunch of jerseys, and I was like, I was gonna get a messy jersey, and then I was like, that's kind of hack. And then I was gonna get an Arsenal jersey because we talked about how I was an Arsenal fan now. But the Arsenal jerseys don't have the collar, and I like the collar.

[Harry]

So you got United?

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Red. Yeah, I just got a city jersey, man. City.

[Francis]

Really?

[Harry]

Yeah. So I guess we're allowed. Yeah.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Wow.

[Francis]

Yeah. What'd you get?

[Roan]

Well, I have every jersey.

[Francis]

Oh, okay.

[Roan]

I actually have so many from when I was a kid. I used to be obsessed with them.

[Francis]

Yeah, they are nice. That was my first one I've ever bought. It wasn't even that expensive either. It was like half the price of an NFL jersey and 10 times the quality.

[Roan]

The coolest jersey I have is the Manchester United Rooney.

[Francis]

That's the one that I got.

[Roan]

You got his name on it. Yeah, he's not played for them.

[Francis]

Yeah, they had to pull it out of the back.

[Roan]

You got a throwback, a Mitchell and Ness.

[Francis]

Yeah. At the airport, weirdly.

[Harry]

It was tucked away in there.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Yeah, that's sick. That's your best one.

[Roan]

Well, it was my best when they were sponsored by aig. It's your only one.

[Francis]

Obviously.

[Roan]

Harry's come back and he thinks he's like one of those, like, street walking London thugs, like. All right, love.

[Harry]

Watch all this then.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

I'm so happy.

[Roan]

Come off it.

[Francis]

That country in it.

[Harry]

Did you start doing their accent after a couple days?

[Francis]

No, we barely spoke to anyone that was eng.

[Roan]

Wait, can.

[Harry]

Can let him be gay?

[Roan]

This is the. The best you've ever looked.

[Francis]

It's not.

[Roan]

I think you are. This is the most attracted to you I've ever been.

[Francis]

That's creepy.

[Roan]

Now I'm not particularly attracted to you because I'm not gay.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah, of course.

[Roan]

But, yeah, of all the times. Yeah, this is the number one.

[Francis]

Well, it's because, you know, a lot of the countries, like, not in America, I feel like they don't really show up in their pajamas for the flight, so you kind of got to throw a fit.

[Roan]

Well, especially if you're flying business as you did.

[Harry]

Yeah, that's what this is.

[Francis]

This was my fit to throw for the flight.

[Harry]

You're in your pajamas.

[Francis]

No, no, no. You see what I was wearing before?

[Harry]

Patriot sweats.

[Francis]

Yeah, the Patriot. I was gonna get new sweatpants too. I should have. I was really stupid that I didn't.

[Roan]

This is you dressing up for the flight after having something else on.

[Francis]

Yeah, I just didn't. I didn't. I wasn't feeling the fit. You know, I knew. I knew the flight was going to be a nightmare if I didn't cop some gear.

[Roan]

You're still wearing sweatpants, though.

[Francis]

Yeah, I mean, I was laying down. I wasn't going to throw khakis on.

[Harry]

But you have the flags of two different, like, countries represented on you.

[Francis]

I know. This is what, Italy. What even is this? It's not England.

[Harry]

Is it the Netherlands?

[Francis]

I don't know. It's definitely not England, though.

[Roan]

I don't know.

[Francis]

I looked it up. These are made in Italy.

[Roan]

I don't know if that's a real flag. Italy's green, white and red. I've never seen that flag, to be honest with you. That might be like one of those, like, Tommy Hilfiger fake flags.

[Francis]

Oh, yeah.

[Harry]

And then the word. It looks Indian.

[Roan]

Oh, it's Norway.

[Francis]

Oh, okay.

[Roan]

That's embarrassing.

[Francis]

Yeah, that is a little embarrassing.

[Harry]

Oh, it's the Confederate flag.

[Roan]

I don't know why we would have known that. Oh, it's.

[Francis]

Maybe I'll get like an American flag and just Patch over it.

[Harry]

You should.

[Roan]

That's the Norwegian flag, so.

[Francis]

But I believe it's an Italian brand.

[Roan]

Well, Napa Puri sounds Italian.

[Harry]

It looks kind of like. Like an Indian word.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Napa Pid thing.

[Francis]

At first.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

I don't know. I don't know. It was a great. I wish I could go back to that store, honestly. They had a lot of good gear.

[Roan]

What do we know about Napa Puri?

[Harry]

Napa Puri?

[Francis]

Oh, yeah, It's Italian.

[Harry]

P, I, J, R, I. Sounds like Indian girls. Like a woman who is having an arranged marriage. Pjri. You have to marry him. I don't want to.

[Roan]

You will grow to love him. He comes from a good family.

[Harry]

He's a chaiwala.

[Francis]

Mother.

[Harry]

So you do look good. But hearing your explanation drains it a little bit.

[Roan]

Harry. Harry slept eight hours on the flight. You're coming off of a flight from jfk, and I thought, ewr. What's that?

[Francis]

Ewr. If it was J. If that was jfk.

[Roan]

We're going airport codes now.

[Francis]

Well, I mean, if you know, you know.

[Roan]

I mean, I do so. I've just never heard someone abbreviate Newark or LaGuardia.

[Harry]

Well, EWR is more syllables than Newark. It is.

[Roan]

That's why it's not fun.

[Francis]

Well, I mean, you said JFK and jf.

[Roan]

But JFK is jfk. It is itself.

[Francis]

Yeah, it is.

[Roan]

No one's ever been like, I'm going to John F. Kennedy Airport, but they will say, I'm flying out of Kennedy. That's kind of cool.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Have you ever heard that?

[Francis]

No, but that makes it.

[Harry]

It makes it feel like. Like airplanes flying out of his ass.

[Francis]

Yeah. Yeah. I was supposed to fly out of there, and then I switched it last night to get to Newark.

[Roan]

Wow. That must have been expensive.

[Francis]

It was actually. $0 to change.

[Roan]

Wow. Yeah.

[Francis]

Not bad.

[Harry]

How's the fight?

[Francis]

Flight was good. I mean, I just passed out immediately.

[Roan]

What airline you fly?

[Francis]

United, unfortunately.

[Roan]

But you were in their Explorer plus or whatever the hell that thing is.

[Francis]

Yeah. Like, what is it? I don't even know what it is. Polaris.

[Roan]

Polaris. Those are nice, those Polaris lounges.

[Francis]

Oh, the lounge. I didn't go to the Polaris Lounge.

[Roan]

No, I'm saying.

[Francis]

Well, he was at Polaris Lounge. Is good.

[Roan]

Is it? So.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

How come you look so hot? Why is your hair so perfect? No, why are you so attractive?

[Francis]

Oh, because I put dry shampoo in before I came up here.

[Roan]

You did?

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

You freshened up.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

So look at this. I'm not wrong. I mean, you know, I feel like I'm crazy.

[Francis]

But Harry.

[Roan]

Harry got hot for the pod.

[Harry]

He got hot for England.

[Roan]

You showed up in different colors than you've ever worn. That light blue is making your everything pop. You did. You shampooed your hair dry? Shampooed it dry snitching, wet snitching, I don't care. And you put on a better fit for the airplane. This is like you and a tux, basically.

[Francis]

Pretty much. Pretty much. I was gonna bring a tux, honestly. Glad I didn't.

[Harry]

Your looks maxing?

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Tempting.

[Roan]

You look great.

[Francis]

I'm new to it.

[Harry]

Have you been using the ball peen hammer on your job?

[Francis]

Started the hammer process yet, but I'm going to begin soon.

[Roan]

What's his name? The guy from. No. When he got in, he went on what's his name show.

[Francis]

Adam Freeman.

[Roan]

Andrew.

[Francis]

Oh, yeah. Clav Huberman. Andrew Callahan.

[Roan]

Callahan's show.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Andrew Callahan made him look like an idiot.

[Francis]

I think he kind of made Andrew Callahan look like an idiot out of here.

[Roan]

You don't actually think that, do you? No, I thought Andrew Gallaghan actually made him look like an idiot.

[Francis]

I'm very, like, entertained by that guy.

[Roan]

Well, you just.

[Francis]

Every time I see a clip of him, I'm like, this is going to be good.

[Roan]

When you put him into an environment with what I would call like a contemporary.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Who has his finger on the pulse of the zeitgeist, of. Of younger. Of a young generation and is a good interviewer, which clearly Andrew Callahan is.

[Francis]

Yeah,

[Roan]

he didn't. He started to flounder.

[Francis]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he broke. I. I think he's just, like, autistic.

[Roan]

No. I think he's just trying to hold this line that, like, isn't deep enough.

[Francis]

I think the last thing I read before I fell asleep on the plane was that he takes, like, painkillers before he goes out. He's on a ton of drugs.

[Harry]

Meth.

[Francis]

He takes meth. Well, that's for. That's for skinny.

[Harry]

Yeah. To be skinny.

[Roan]

He also didn't look that good.

[Francis]

Clap.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Yeah. He kind of just looks like a normal dude.

[Roan]

Well, hold on a minute. For that interview with Andrew Callahan, he was scruffy. Had scruffy, shitty facial hair.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Bad skin.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Am I wrong?

[Francis]

I mean, you're not.

[Roan]

I thought he was perfect.

[Francis]

Yeah. Well, I think he's.

[Roan]

He's.

[Francis]

He's trying to be perfect and.

[Roan]

And then what? He'll go do an interview and he looks like shit.

[Harry]

His hormones are probably in hell right now because of what he's putting into his body.

[Roan]

Yeah, but if, if, if my whole thing is like smokes meth, the face of perfection, right. I, I am holding myself up as the poster boy for perfection in what I believe. If that's the case, I'm probably not showing up to an interview that's going to be a massive piece of content when I'm really not looking good. I mean, right now you could show up to that interview.

[Francis]

No, no, no. But what was he, what, what did they end it on? He was like, he asked Andrew, he's

[Roan]

like, you really look in the mirror and think that you look good. And he was like, yeah, you're. I'm happy with myself.

[Francis]

No, he said like, you don't, you don't have any problems with what you see. And Andrew Callahan was like, no.

[Roan]

Yeah. And he's like, well, if you're going to be totally disingenuous, like, he couldn't accept that.

[Francis]

But I kind of, I kind of,

[Harry]

I think that like everybody, like at some level can be like, yeah, I could work on this. It's like, I think it's like disingenuous to like, you're obviously, Andrew Callahan is like against the movement and he wants to show that in the interview. But like, everybody probably has something that they can work on. And if you're like, yeah, I'm a finished product and I'm perfect. It's like, I'm not like, oh, this guy clavicular. Is this like upward seeking? Like he's just like, strives to be better but, but like people.

[Francis]

He was calling his bluff.

[Harry]

Yeah, he called your bluff.

[Roan]

I took it a different way.

[Francis]

I took it as like, I mean, if that's his whole, that's his life, that's his whole thing.

[Roan]

I think he was saying, are you content with the way that you look?

[Francis]

I think he was not like, you

[Roan]

don't think that there's anything you could improve?

[Francis]

I think he was like, when you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was like, are you, are you satisfied?

[Roan]

Yeah, you're satisfied? And Andrew Callahan is perfectly within his rights to say yes. That's just being self assured.

[Francis]

I could, I could find a couple things.

[Harry]

Go ahead.

[Francis]

You think? I agree on.

[Roan]

He doesn't look great.

[Harry]

Right, right.

[Roan]

But doesn't mean that's why.

[Francis]

That's why cleavage was furious.

[Roan]

But that's not why. That's not why. That doesn't have much of a bearing on whether or not he feels fine in his own skin.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, look Clavicular is in seasoned insane person. He's crazy.

[Harry]

Well, he's on meth. Drug addict. Yeah, that's.

[Francis]

So all things considered, he looks pretty good.

[Roan]

What's going on? Does he. What's. What does he do?

[Francis]

He takes. He literally smokes meth.

[Harry]

Smokes is crazy. I don't think he smokes it.

[Francis]

Well, then what's he doing? Snorting it.

[Harry]

Yeah. I think you could take meth every. Like, people who take Adderall every day.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the same thing. But he said that meth is better for the physique than Adderall.

[Harry]

In some ways, though, he is a bit of a Batman for men's rights.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

I've seen multiple videos of him, like, like, catching girls cheating on their boyfriend and then, like, kicking them out of the house.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Does.

[Harry]

Which is nice. He, like, made out with a girl and then, like, went to do some intel, found out that she was cheating, and then kicked her out. That's Batman. That's Batman work.

[Francis]

Yeah. Yeah. He's a men's rights activist.

[Roan]

Is that right?

[Francis]

No.

[Roan]

Is he trying to be kind of like.

[Francis]

I don't. That's the thing that's confusing. No. Because I don't think he is. That's the thing that's weird. Like, he's not, like, answered that question

[Roan]

in that interview about, like, reproduction and was like, women should all be virgins.

[Francis]

Oh, he said that?

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

So maybe he might leave.

[Roan]

And then he was like. And then they were like, well, what do you feel about men? And he was like, no, I don't think that's men. Men have been dominating society since the dawn time.

[Francis]

Okay. Yeah. So maybe he is trying to be like Andrew Tate.

[Roan]

It sounded like it.

[Francis]

Yeah. I've read something that people were like, stop grouping him in with Andrew Tate and Aiden Ross and all these people.

[Roan]

I just also, it's like, dude, hey, Clavicular, have you ever a virgin lately? What a nightmare. You're going to break in a new glove when there's 100 million perfectly comfortable gloves. Yes.

[Francis]

I mean, that's. That's how those dudes. That's how. What do you feel?

[Roan]

You can buy one of these pretty broken in baseball gloves.

[Francis]

They want pure. They want pure.

[Roan]

That also are incredibly skilled. They're skilled gloves.

[Harry]

They catch the ball easier. They make it like, they'll make a gold glove. Second basement out of the glove. Yeah.

[Roan]

You know, it doesn't mean that the glove has, like, dirt in it.

[Francis]

Yeah. Yeah. He came into the office.

[Roan]

He did. Did Jack Mack, do something. So does Jack Mack like him?

[Francis]

I don't think he's like.

[Roan]

Is he, like, one of his followers?

[Francis]

No, no, I think he's like. He was just more. I think it was. Supposedly. It was a good interview.

[Roan]

We should have him on.

[Francis]

No, I don't think that would go well.

[Roan]

Why not?

[Francis]

I don't think he would find us funny at all.

[Roan]

I don't think he'd find us funny,

[Francis]

and I think it would be.

[Roan]

But we could just laugh at him.

[Francis]

Extremely uncomfortable.

[Roan]

Off. And he leaves. Fine.

[Francis]

Yeah. I can't deal with that.

[Roan]

He's the only person anyone's talking about right now. He's become a sensation.

[Francis]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he'll. He'll fizzle out, but he's definitely more of a likable guy than Tate. Than the Tates, because it's like you can kind of. You don't have to take him seriously. It's kind of like no one's, like, looking up to Clavicular because he's.

[Roan]

What? He's. How old is he? 20.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

And Tate. Yeah, Tate was, like, actually a kickboxer. There's. I've seen videos of Clavicular getting choked out by real, like, Jiu Jitsu people. Why is he putting himself in those situations?

[Francis]

That's just like.

[Roan]

Though.

[Francis]

That's like the.

[Harry]

All you have to do is a streamer.

[Francis]

Yeah, that's like, the route for streaming.

[Roan]

What's.

[Francis]

Like, you start out, like, at your desk, and then you go irl. And then you fight, like, Sean Strickland or whatever the. His name is.

[Harry]

Yeah, Sugar. Sugar. Sean o' Malley and shits the out of you.

[Francis]

Yeah, that's like. That's your ticket in. Like, that's the. That's the last. That's the last toll you have to pay.

[Roan]

And then you hate women.

[Francis]

And then you hate women, naturally, because you got beat. You got the.

[Roan]

You got beaten up by a guy

[Francis]

that looks like a. Yeah.

[Harry]

He looks like a good kisser, though, whenever you see him making out. Like, I haven't seen him.

[Francis]

I've never seen him making out.

[Roan]

I'm telling you right now.

[Harry]

I would pull up some video, I think, montage.

[Roan]

I think Harry looks better than.

[Francis]

Pull up the edit Clovic.

[Harry]

No, he does, but Harry does not look like a better kisser.

[Francis]

No, no, no, no.

[Harry]

He looks like a. Yeah, like that unbroken mitt when he kisses. He looks like a mosquito trying to sting and iron.

[Francis]

Oh, I don't want to see this at all.

[Roan]

I like it when he's out. Like, this, this is where I. He seems boyish and.

[Francis]

No, this is where he's the word. Because he's on painkillers here. Oh, no, he said that he takes. Like I was reading, smiling.

[Roan]

He's happy. See, look, he's. He's charming there. I don't mind him there. I don't like him when he's in these dark interviews with his misery.

[Harry]

Yeah. With the Gotcha guys.

[Roan]

I read all over his shoulders.

[Francis]

I read on the. When I was on the plane, the. The tweet that I was reading said that he takes amphetamines. That was his big thing is like I. I use amphetamines, like for social. For social edge. And then he said what he took and it's not, it's not amphetamine. It's like you got a painkiller for extreme pain. It's literally like fentanyl.

[Roan]

You got to get past the drugs. All right. You've been really stuck on the drugs thing. That hasn't bothered me once.

[Francis]

I mean, it's just the, the cot, the cocktail is what amazes me. Yeah, well, from meth to pretty much heroin.

[Harry]

The woman, that woman comes up to him in a club and slapped the out of that. And then he's suing you.

[Roan]

Yeah, he's citizen arrested and he tried to take a photo with someone else, but he was so distracted, he was

[Harry]

like, grab her, get her. And they fucking. Citizen arrested this girl and her friend.

[Francis]

I mean, that's what you got to do. You have to citizen arrest a bitch. Yeah, you can't.

[Harry]

Like, if she's not going to make out with you, if she's not going to give you a sweet kiss, you have to fudgeing citizen arrest her.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And also he knows that that side of the jaw will grow back even stronger. Yeah, it's a win. Win for him.

[Harry]

She was doing a favor.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

I'm trying to help him, but I mean, he also has been. He's proven like there's other men who have tried to king of the hill him, like Andrew Jennick. And like those guys can't do it now. Like, he is the top. He's remained the top. Looks maxer for the time.

[Francis]

I think he just got a pretty bad rep because he got. The day that he came on the scene was when he was doing that he was with all those. Those guys like Fuentes.

[Harry]

And that time he came on the scene is when he ran someone over with his car.

[Francis]

Oh, really? Oh, he did that?

[Harry]

Yeah. But I think that that's like that's

[Roan]

also part of the streaming ladder.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah. Someone. Yeah. You got to be willing to kill.

[Harry]

You kill someone to start. Get your name out there and you do it while you're a minor.

[Roan]

I don't know if you guys know this. Venus Williams tried to be a streamer. Really? Yeah. That's why she killed that woman with her car. And I was like, wait a minute. You can't pivot from tennis to streaming.

[Harry]

It doesn't make sense. You're too old to max your looks like that.

[Francis]

I don't know. I'm not a big like IRL streaming guy.

[Roan]

Ireland.

[Francis]

Yeah, it's not really my thing.

[Harry]

You're more of a newer guy.

[Francis]

I like the guys that are just mounted at the desk and playing a game.

[Harry]

I mean I. So you're more of. You're. You're more Kai than speed.

[Francis]

Exactly.

[Harry]

Because speed's irl. He does incredible.

[Francis]

Exactly. I don't. I. I saw Speed Speed at the desk the other day. Only 14k viewers.

[Harry]

I saw him in the car.

[Francis]

Really?

[Harry]

Yeah, I saw them in the car. It's always bad when they're just dancing in the car.

[Francis]

Yeah. So I got the game. Kai's. Kai's off.

[Harry]

Yeah, he got out the game.

[Francis]

They're like redoing Twitch's terms of service because of Kai. Because he's making like $500 million a month and he hasn't streamed in like six months.

[Roan]

Damn.

[Harry]

Yeah, he got their asses. I think that Francis, like, like, I

[Francis]

think it's going to be like your, your subs expire after a month automatically

[Harry]

or some shit because he's just counting money.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

What is your. Do you feel like your looks maxing a little bit, Francis?

[Roan]

I'm in. I'm. I've got a goal right now. Yeah. I got my 15 year college reunion coming in the first weekend of June.

[Francis]

Okay.

[Roan]

And because I will be probably in the 1% of people without a wife or children.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

I have to have something to show for myself.

[Francis]

You got to show up.

[Roan]

And that's why I'm going to be bringing traps.

[Francis]

Traps?

[Harry]

Yeah, trapezius muscles.

[Roan]

Trapezoids.

[Francis]

Oh, okay.

[Roan]

On my shoulders.

[Francis]

Yeah. That's good. That's smart. So you're just going to hit the traps, Del.

[Roan]

I'm going to be bringing delts.

[Francis]

I think you should, you should sky miles. You should do a video where you meet with clavicular and he fine tunes you.

[Harry]

He couldn't though. Like Francis body is better than his natty.

[Francis]

Yeah. But he could probably like point some Things out that you don't even know.

[Roan]

Probably could.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Well, I know I don't like my ass.

[Francis]

He would work on.

[Roan]

I'm all, I never leave a room backwards.

[Francis]

Yeah, he would. He would.

[Roan]

When I get. When I get out of the bed after laying pipe, I back out like I'm talking to the queen.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

You know, you're not supposed to turn your back on the.

[Harry]

You're just bow out out of the room.

[Roan]

Yeah. I walk out flacid, facing her.

[Harry]

The. But his ass and legs are terrible.

[Francis]

Can you.

[Harry]

Can you pull up a picture of his legs on the.

[Francis]

Those are definitely.

[Harry]

I know, but I just. I enjoy it. His legs on the.

[Francis]

That's definitely.

[Harry]

No, the one on the hay rod. It looks crazy. That one's not fake.

[Francis]

That one's not fake.

[Roan]

The one that.

[Francis]

That they. That the fake one is crazy.

[Harry]

Where his legs are dangling off the back of the.

[Francis]

So it's all just muscle or it's all just like bone.

[Roan]

When you say that he. Is he on steroids or is he getting like plastic surgery? He's definitely alter his body.

[Francis]

He does a lot of plastic surgery.

[Harry]

But also he's on a pretty nice stack.

[Francis]

He's got a good stack. I mean, I'm. I would say, yeah, he probably takes steroids. I mean, if you're doing meth and opioids.

[Harry]

Francis, I think that there's the limit. I think there's a world where you also wear a crop top and you show off your. This. The V cut.

[Roan]

Is he doing crop top?

[Francis]

Oh, yeah. This is. This is. This is the original photo. This is a banger. This was a meme for years before he became famous.

[Roan]

That's so funny. That woman looks like something out of a horror film. Like someone who shows up and you, like, say her name three times while flexing.

[Francis]

That went viral, like, literally, like, probably. I mean, years ago.

[Harry]

I like that he kept her in, though. I know he could have easily just edited down to her hand.

[Roan]

That's so funny.

[Harry]

It could have cropped in so easily.

[Francis]

Oh, man.

[Harry]

But yeah, nice crop top. You show off the. The cum gutters. You know, I feel like that's.

[Francis]

That.

[Harry]

That. That would like. That's better than having kids.

[Roan]

Yeah. I'm going to be at this reunion and everyone's bringing their kids.

[Francis]

So we smoked meth just like a couple days before.

[Roan]

Why would I do that for the first time then?

[Francis]

To trim out.

[Roan]

I can trim out other ways.

[Francis]

Not like with meth.

[Roan]

Meth is good.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Meth is a quick.

[Francis]

You're Never going to trim out like you would if you smoked Method.

[Roan]

No, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not.

[Francis]

You just gotta. Not get addicted to it.

[Roan]

I got that.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

That's mind over matter.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Mind over math.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

So what's your weapon of choice? Is it just putting your finger down your throat, throwing up?

[Roan]

No, it's just remembering that I don't have children. I don't have a family. I don't have people who, you know, love me the way that everyone else at the 15 year does. And they're all gonna be at their tables spoon feeding applesauce off the corner of the mouths of their beautiful children. Whereas I'm going to be at the. I'm at. I'm going to be at that same table, like bursting out of a linen suit that's four sizes too small.

[Harry]

Yeah, get a small one.

[Roan]

I'm going to get a really, really small suit.

[Francis]

You're going all linen.

[Roan]

Be like, God damn. Is anyone else super uncomfortable right now? These chairs are not going to support.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

The fact that I'm.

[Francis]

You should do meth right before. Really get trimmed only just once right

[Harry]

before as you're walking in. Just be methed out.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And it could be like a micro hit. It doesn't even have to be like. You don't even have to go crazy with it.

[Roan]

15 year is in end of beginning of June, which gives me April and May. I got about nine, 10 weeks to really hammer it. And you know what I've been getting obsessed with? You're going to love this ball. You got to move off the meth. You're starting to scare me a little bit. Where did this come from?

[Francis]

The meth?

[Roan]

Yeah. Why are you so obsessed with the meth?

[Francis]

Because he smokes meth. That's crazy. No one smokes meth.

[Roan]

Yeah, well, you know what? I'm trying to add an OD to my method. I'm going to do the method from now until the 15 year.

[Francis]

I'm just saying. And it's kettlebells, okay.

[Roan]

Not glass pipes.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah. I could get. I could get behind that.

[Roan]

I am obsessed with kettlebells all of a sudden.

[Francis]

You're not obsessed with your physique.

[Roan]

That is exactly what I am.

[Francis]

If you were obsessed with your physique, you would man up and smoke meth.

[Roan]

God damn you and your fucking you. If you find meth. I'll do it.

[Francis]

I'll find it.

[Roan]

Where are you going to get some. You actually definitely know

[Francis]

back to Newark. And get some meth. Yup.

[Harry]

Paris baguette.

[Francis]

SO three.

[Roan]

So it's kettlebells though. And now my whole feed is kettlebell complexes.

[Francis]

Yeah, that's how I mean.

[Roan]

And they're fucking.

[Francis]

The second you find anything that you are like that day, if you find a new interest, your whole timelines that yeah, I think we're getting. They're mining our data harder than they've ever mind it.

[Roan]

Today I did with a 55 pounder. Maybe it was 53. I think it's 53 pounds. How much is our Joe?

[Francis]

55.

[Harry]

Can you just. Maybe it'd be maybe easier if you could show us.

[Roan]

You want to see the. You want to see the complex I did today?

[Harry]

Complex, yeah.

[Roan]

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[Francis]

I was probably sound asleep.

[Roan]

You up that.

[Francis]

I said I was probably sound asleep

[Roan]

while I was doing it.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Roan]

You're not wrong. So you start with.

[Francis]

Gotta get the Rolex out of there. I almost got a Rolex at the airport today. It was too expensive. I couldn't afford it. Jesus. I feel like that doesn't really like the weight of the dumbbell. Doesn't really matter there just five deadlifts.

[Roan]

All right.

[Francis]

Okay, 55 is killing you. Whoa, easy, easy.

[Harry]

Go through that flat screen, straight through

[Francis]

the hooping and hollering set.

[Harry]

That's a $55,000 set.

[Francis]

Good God, this looks like hell. I got about maybe one set of this and then I'm going home. Yeah, yeah. Definitely not hitting both arms.

[Harry]

Crazy that you still hate your ass after all this.

[Francis]

Do you usually work out in the jeans too? Oh, oh. That looks like it's just gonna take your arms to the floor, all the

[Harry]

way down out the back. Or just drop on your head.

[Francis]

This is insane. You just do this for an hour straight.

[Roan]

And that's one.

[Francis]

That's one.

[Roan]

You rest a minute.

[Harry]

That's one. You rest A minute and you do 10.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And you rest a minute. So is that the whole workout?

[Roan]

I warmed up.

[Francis]

And then what do you do after the mic?

[Harry]

I'm out of breath.

[Francis]

Yeah, I'm not surprised.

[Roan]

Holy.

[Harry]

We want to get that aspirating on cam.

[Roan]

That's hard. You weren't doing it because I just did it.

[Harry]

Like, aspirated to the mic. Aspirated to the mic. Come on.

[Francis]

Doesn't seem like it.

[Roan]

Holy.

[Francis]

I think you're full of. How's the first time you've ever done that?

[Roan]

I saw it, so that got fed to me. It's a goddamn Nutella. It's like catching in my esophagus. It's like a chimney that needs to be cleaned.

[Francis]

I think this is the first time you've ever worked out. This was all for show.

[Roan]

I need to not talk for a second.

[Harry]

Don't take the pain. Francis. Francis. Heart rate is a clean 220 right now.

[Roan]

No, I'm fine. I'm fine.

[Francis]

That was crazy.

[Harry]

Sounds like Sandstorm over there.

[Roan]

You take a minute rest and you do ten.

[Francis]

Yeah, I think. I think two minutes could be good.

[Roan]

By seven, you're in trouble.

[Harry]

So you take a minute rest. Oh, you do that for. How long does that take? A minute.

[Francis]

Two minutes, probably minute 30.

[Roan]

I can't remember.

[Francis]

I mean, it felt like two minutes.

[Roan]

Maybe it took like a minute and a half. It was quick.

[Francis]

So you're so. So the workout. 25 minutes around that.

[Roan]

And then I did that, and then I was done.

[Francis]

Yeah. I mean, that's efficient.

[Roan]

Beyond that, you could probably just do

[Francis]

that in your house, ditch the gym. You can bring Rogan home if you want. I got no problems with that. I'm.

[Roan]

I wish I hadn't had the Nutella sticks. I wouldn't be out of breath.

[Francis]

You get, like, ultra shape like that. Like, you notice everything.

[Harry]

Right. You have like.

[Francis]

It's that French frying three weeks ago.

[Roan]

It's killing me.

[Harry]

I shouldn't have looked at that apple pie crust. The calories of just seeing that. I shouldn't have came today. That's 7 grams of protein I lost through nutting.

[Roan]

Why did I not come in my own mouth?

[Harry]

It's the perfect feedback loop.

[Roan]

Cycle of life.

[Harry]

There are people who think that. That you lose. You lose, like, a lot of energy.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Can you just fix your hair back to the way it was.

[Francis]

I don't know if I can. I think it was.

[Roan]

You had it.

[Francis]

I kind of had it. And it's gone.

[Roan]

Why'd you mess it up?

[Francis]

Yeah, it's over.

[Roan]

No, no, no. You got it.

[Francis]

I.

[Roan]

It's not the way I like it.

[Francis]

Yeah. It's never gonna go back to that.

[Harry]

Okay, let's. Let's stop recording now.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Harry]

We'll look at how it was, and for continuity's sake, we'll try to re. Recreate that.

[Francis]

It's a good idea.

[Harry]

Recapture that.

[Francis]

I just got off the flight from the UK from England, and boy, are your.

[Harry]

Go ahead.

[Francis]

No, I was pretty much it.

[Roan]

Well, that's it. All right. That's all we're gonna say about that.

[Francis]

All of that story.

[Roan]

No more talk about bush. But just kidding.

[Francis]

Now the bush.

[Roan]

We need everything, start to finish. Car crash.

[Francis]

Oh, yeah, I forgot about the car crash completely.

[Harry]

No one did. People. Everybody's asking me about that.

[Francis]

Yeah, it's pretty annoying. But why.

[Roan]

Why were you upset about it? It was hilarious.

[Francis]

I was. I wasn't upset about it as much as I was just like. I mean, it was pretty bad. Like, it was pretty. It was, like, insanely bad.

[Roan]

We understand that. But if it had been fatal or injurious, we wouldn't be making fun of it.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course.

[Roan]

It's in knowing that everyone was fine.

[Francis]

I don't know if that's true.

[Harry]

And my twisted ass would be like, Jezelnick on you. I'd have some fucking deep jokes on you.

[Francis]

Yeah, I mean, we. So we got to London, we got a van, like a full on, like, sprinter. Like a big van, like. Like, it seats probably 12 people. And. And then we got a car, just a regular car. And Jerry drove the van to London from the airport because we were like, we got to do. We got to go to London, which was a mistake. The streets in London are so, so tight. And it's like driving through New York City, but you're also driving on the left lane and on the. In the left side of the car or the right. In the right side of the car. So it's pretty weird. I drove the van a little bit. It's horrifying. Pretty much. We, like, we. We do that. We go back to the house, to the Airbnb. Airbnb is a disaster.

[Roan]

Why?

[Francis]

It just is. Like, they just lied about everything. They said there's gonna be five king beds. There wasn't a single king bed. Not one. I slept in, like, a cot and, like, Half the dude slept on the couch, so there were rooms that just didn't exist.

[Harry]

It was. They aided it. They just showed you AI pictures.

[Francis]

It was like, rooms where it was like. Like, the. The paint was different. Like, it was. It was so bizarre. The, like, the. The host, they would just come in the house constantly.

[Roan]

Huh? Yeah, it was very, like, in Curb.

[Francis]

Exactly. Yeah.

[Roan]

She comes to check on the plant.

[Francis]

Yeah. Like, no, they were just like. Like, we, like, we went. The first day of the event when we were at the venue, Mook texted the. Oh, someone's like, could you guys turn the heat up in the house? Because it was freezing. And we were like, let's do that before we get back. The dude was like, oh, yeah, I'm already in here. Like, I'll just. I'll just do it now. He's like, I've been in and out all day. It's like, why all of our stuff is in there? Like, why are you in the house at all?

[Harry]

Saying, he's just checking on it. You think that England would respect the King a little bit more?

[Francis]

I know, right? Exactly. We. Yeah. I mean, so pretty much, they get. They get in the car, they go to get groceries. It was like Jerry Numbers Rash was driving, and one of our players, Abe and I mean, they were gone for, like, three minutes. Like, they just left. And we get the call from. Oh, and Mikey, who's one of our, like, producers. And.

[Roan]

Was this at night or in the day?

[Francis]

It was. This was at night, but it wasn't that late. Like, it was like. We were trying. They were trying to go before it got dark. Yeah, and then it, like, got dark and they went and I mean, they made it. It was the first turn onto the main road, and they just wrecked both cars.

[Roan]

Totaled. Wow.

[Harry]

And what, like, you got the call or what happened?

[Francis]

Yeah, we get a call and they're. They're just like, we just got in a car crash. And we were like, what? And they were like, yeah, it's bad. And we were like, well, is everyone okay? And they're like, yeah, everyone's fine, but it's not good.

[Harry]

And then was the most shaken up, because I don't. I could understand if you were in the car being shaken up. Like, dude, that was fucking serious and scary. But you just got a call. Like, there was never any danger for you.

[Francis]

Well, the danger was that I had to now drive the van to go pick them up.

[Harry]

Got it.

[Francis]

So we. I mean, we were rolling.

[Roan]

You're right. You were the most at risk.

[Francis]

No, obviously not. But, like, the most shaken up. Like, Maresh. Maresh was the most shaken up by far. Obviously, he crashed the car.

[Roan]

More crash.

[Francis]

Like, Jerry and numbers. Like, they didn't even phase them. Like, they. Like, we got back to the house, and Jerry was like, numbers. Like, that's not even. You've been in way worse than that. And he was like, oh, yeah, the tree. And Jerry's like, the fence. The fence was bad. Like, they didn't give a. Like, that was just, like, another day for them. Just total. The car.

[Roan]

Car in the tree. In the tree and the fence.

[Francis]

So, I mean, that was night one. Like, it definitely. Like, the vibes were a little off

[Roan]

after that, as it tends to be.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Luckily, no more drinking and driving after that.

[Francis]

No more drinking and driving. Of course, you could smoke some za

[Harry]

and drive, but no.

[Francis]

No one was Dr. Or. And no one had smoked any Z at that point.

[Harry]

For insurance purposes.

[Roan]

I have a lot of doubts.

[Francis]

No group, no.

[Roan]

Definitely no one smoking Z.

[Francis]

No one smoked Z because the people. It's illegal there, and there's people. The host flying around the house. There was no opportunity.

[Roan]

Well, that's why you had the puff bus.

[Harry]

The puff bus, right. It's like the bang bus, but for. For just getting. For smoking the skunk. Smoke the skunk.

[Francis]

But, yeah, I mean, the. The crash was bad. We Ubered everywhere after that. Not a single. We were just like, we're just not driving anymore.

[Roan]

Boy, this must have been an expensive trip for the.

[Francis]

It was so expensive.

[Roan]

Yeah, Just a total.

[Francis]

Just. I mean, the Ubers were. The Uber to the airport this morning for me was, like, 250.

[Roan]

Holy.

[Francis]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Harry]

Which. But the sponsors will cover that, right?

[Francis]

I don't think so.

[Roan]

What?

[Francis]

I don't think they intended on us crashing the car. Launchers, Lucy.

[Harry]

Okay.

[Roan]

Do you think that this is the end of Telluride Bush?

[Francis]

No, no, no. I mean, look, it was not a great weekend for the Bush. Like, this was a really, really bad weekend for the Bush. It was really devastating.

[Roan]

But this is the charm of the bush.

[Francis]

Tell me if I'm wrong. Like, it's gonna hap like that. It's like, obviously, the car crash doesn't

[Roan]

really need to happen.

[Francis]

The car crash doesn't need to happen. But, like, the. Like, we placed terrible.

[Roan]

Like, we came in 8th out of how many?

[Francis]

83. But we were supposed to win. We were the second seat. We were number one seed in North America. Like, the first tournament we came to, we came in second.

[Roan]

Can you guys sit down with Abe

[Francis]

and Teddy and It's Abe, Byron, Lou and Joe.

[Roan]

Abe, Byron, Lou and Joe.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Can you sit down with them and just be like, guys, we're out here crashing cars.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Roan]

To make sure that you have the opportunity to live out your dreams.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah. No, they know.

[Roan]

Why aren't you? Why are you. Why do they suck?

[Francis]

You know what?

[Harry]

I'm. I'm on the. I'm more of a, like, play on the player side. It's like, hey, we're out here to win, and you guys can't stay out of your own way to, like, have this huge distraction for us. We're trying to lock in. In England, and you're blowing up the car, getting fried off of, like, the little zoots that you're building out, running around with sheep in the field and.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Going on beer miles.

[Roan]

Look, the.

[Francis]

The Airbnb. Airbnb was a mistake. We should have just done hotels.

[Roan]

But that probably would have been, what, three times more expensive?

[Francis]

It probably would have been around the same price. You just do the Airbnb because it's better for content. But it was like, the Airbnb was so falsely advertised that, like, we barely even got any content out of the house.

[Roan]

I don't think there's any world where an Airbnb, you know, eight hotel rooms in England.

[Francis]

Birmingham.

[Roan]

Birmingham.

[Francis]

It's like, eight hotel rooms in Newark.

[Roan]

Yeah, well, either way, versus a house in Birmingham.

[Francis]

The house wasn't that expensive.

[Roan]

That's my point.

[Francis]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Roan]

You're saving money by doing the Airbnb.

[Francis]

Yeah, but we probably didn't save money at the end of the day because the Ubers back and forth or the

[Roan]

fact that, you know, now that your insurance premiums have gone through the roof,

[Harry]

Moresh definitely lost money.

[Roan]

Certainly.

[Francis]

No, we actually. I'm pretty sure we actually had to pay zero. Dude, we called dinner. They called Enterprise, like, while they were on the scene, and they were like, we crashed the car. And they're like, all right, do you guys want another? It's like, no, we don't. Absolutely not.

[Harry]

But if you got. If you get the, like, $9 protection,

[Francis]

you know, we owed $0.

[Harry]

That is nice.

[Roan]

$0 cars wrapped in, like, pontoon pockets.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

The Guardian helmet,

[Francis]

one of the things.

[Roan]

Cyber trucks back.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah. One of the things that was annoying me was when people were like, people would. People were like. Because obviously, like, so we get in the crash, we don't tell anybody. We. We thought this was fully going, like, no one would ever find out. And Moresh had to, like, tell, like, h. R. And, like, we had to tell Austin. And then once you tell Austin, it's.

[Harry]

Why do you have to tell Austin?

[Francis]

Because he's, like, in charge of us.

[Harry]

What?

[Francis]

He approves the budget for us. And then we got to let him know, like, yo, we just crashed the car.

[Harry]

The power structure is so insane.

[Francis]

It doesn't make any sense. But as of right now, that's how it works. So we tell. We told Austin he wasn't mad. Like, he doesn't. He doesn't give a.

[Harry]

Of course he's not mad.

[Francis]

But he tells Dave, and then Paul texts Dave.

[Harry]

Legal Paul, not ball Legal Paul.

[Francis]

Not a fan, to be honest.

[Roan]

You don't like Legal Paul?

[Francis]

No, I just thought the text was weird.

[Harry]

What did he say?

[Roan]

That's a necessary text.

[Francis]

No, I know it's necessary text, but just being like, these guys are fucking idiots.

[Roan]

Did he say that?

[Francis]

It was some. To some extent, yeah.

[Harry]

Read that. Can we. Can we find the text?

[Francis]

There were jokes being thrown around.

[Harry]

I mean, you got. You. You.

[Roan]

While you're pulling it up. I'm at a calorie deficit right now.

[Francis]

Yeah, get some Nutella in you.

[Harry]

Yeah, I mean, but that's probably stale by now. You probably need a fresh breadstick.

[Roan]

I'm gonna go back in.

[Harry]

I've had nothing but great experiences with Legal Paul, Francis. I'm sure you're the same.

[Roan]

I am. I love that guy.

[Francis]

That's good for you guys.

[Harry]

I've had, like, off hours conversations like, he's on retainer at. Just call up Legal Paul.

[Francis]

Look, I'm not anti. Legal Paul.

[Roan]

Yeah, you are.

[Francis]

No, no, no. I want to get that.

[Roan]

I don't like that guy.

[Francis]

Clear. I'm not anti.

[Roan]

You said I don't like that guy.

[Francis]

I just. I just didn't love the way that that text read personally.

[Harry]

You wanted him to suck you guys off for totaling a car. Our legends have totaled a car.

[Francis]

What he said.

[Harry]

But fear not. Here it is right here. The bush guys. Can you read that, Francis? Oh, you have a mouthful. I'm sorry.

[Roan]

I got it. This will help me get it down. The bush guys got in a car accident in the uk. The rental got messed up, an airbag went off, but unfortunately. But fortunately. Sounds like everyone is okay.

[Harry]

Okay, fine, so far.

[Roan]

They hit another car, but that driver said she was okay, too. And yes, it was because they were driving on the wrong side.

[Francis]

This is where he loses me.

[Roan]

Parentheses can't make this up. You taking that person.

[Francis]

That's where he loses me. You taking that personally is the parentheses that if there was no parentheses there, I think I would have been fine with it. But it's the parentheses that really got me.

[Harry]

Why? Why?

[Francis]

I don't know. Because it's just like. That reads as.

[Roan]

Like there's another way to read it. No. Another way to read.

[Francis]

Can't make this up.

[Roan]

Another way to read that. Another way to read that. You know what? Why don't we get him in here? He's right out there.

[Francis]

No, no, we don't have to get him in here.

[Harry]

And then, like, it's amazing.

[Roan]

You'll.

[Francis]

You'll.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

You'll say all this, but you don't want to face him.

[Francis]

Obviously not. Why would I want to do that?

[Roan]

But because this is still gonna come out. You're still gonna see this, and then

[Francis]

you have to walk. But I'm joking around. I'm not. I'm not gonna have him in here. The way that you handled this was very unprofessional. I don't. I don't care. Yeah.

[Harry]

I'm not.

[Francis]

I don't actually care. That legal. Paul obviously has to send this text. But.

[Roan]

But hold on. May I just for a second.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

The way I. Another way to read that. And you might be right, but another way to read that is the most obvious explanation for why a group of Americans who have just arrived in England would get into a car crash is because they're driving on the wrong side of the road.

[Francis]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Roan]

It's a tale as old as time. It's like.

[Francis]

Like. But it didn't.

[Roan]

It's a. It's a trope. It's like a hacky joke.

[Francis]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Roan]

Right? And sure enough, it happened. It happened. Yeah.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

You can't make it up. The thing that everyone says to be careful about happened.

[Francis]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Roan]

Not Bush is a joke, but Americans driving in England is a joke.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

That's another way.

[Harry]

Sash wants to be able to make mistakes and then.

[Francis]

Whoa, whoa, hold the phone here. I didn't make a single mistake.

[Harry]

Bush is.

[Francis]

You got the wrong guy.

[Harry]

Oh, you're separating.

[Francis]

You got the wrong. I wasn't in the car. Car. I wasn't even in the car.

[Harry]

From the bush.

[Roan]

No.

[Francis]

I don't want to distance myself when Bush makes it, but I. I am. I'm not taking. I didn't. I wasn't driving.

[Harry]

The Bush is the fist, brother.

[Francis]

If I was in the car, that would not have happened. And that's a fact.

[Roan]

Let's see.

[Harry]

You're throwing Miresh under the bus.

[Francis]

No, I'm just saying. I'M I'm.

[Harry]

Yes, you are.

[Francis]

I'm very aware and I'm very aware of driving specifically. And I would have noticed if we were driving on the wrong side of the street, I would have known that.

[Roan]

Didn't that happen really quickly? They turned and they turned and immediately

[Francis]

there was no one on the street. Like, so the, the reason that, like, I understood what happened was because when I had to go pick them up, we're staying in the middle of nowhere. You got to drive down a one way street for like five minutes to get to the main road. And it's pitch blackout. You aren't really, like, you're just driving on a one way. So you're not thinking about it.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And then you go to merge onto the main road and I, I guess they just merged onto the wrong side.

[Roan]

Right. So my point would be.

[Francis]

And there's no other cars on the road because it was. We're in the middle of nowhere and it's late.

[Roan]

But they, as soon as they turned onto the main road is when the collision.

[Francis]

No, no. Oh, it was like, it was like a minute after that.

[Roan]

They were driving and they saw the headlights coming and then.

[Harry]

And they're like, clearly they're in the wrong.

[Francis]

No, no, no.

[Roan]

Wow, look at this. Who's drunk?

[Francis]

No.

[Roan]

Coming at us.

[Francis]

They said. Miresh said that.

[Roan]

Hold the line, Miresh.

[Francis]

Steady.

[Roan]

Who blinks first loses classic cockfight.

[Francis]

Moresh said that he saw the car and he turned right to like swerve out of the way. But then they turned left and that's where they hit each other.

[Roan]

Yeah, they turned into each other.

[Francis]

They turned into each other because they're both not. They're. Moresh is thinking.

[Roan]

Yeah. Let me tell you something. Can I tell you where? Where? Where?

[Francis]

Well, look, I mean, yeah, I'm fine with the, you know, if that happens

[Roan]

jokes and not that, not that you necessarily have the wherewithal, but if you see a car driving down the wrong side of the road at you. Stop.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Hit the brakes.

[Roan]

Just stop.

[Francis]

Yeah. Well, they did. I mean, they slowed down for sure.

[Roan]

Pull off the road.

[Francis]

That's what they, that's what they were trying to do. But when they, they both pulled off the same way. I'll be honest. No, never mind. I'm not gonna say it.

[Roan]

No, no, no, go ahead, stupid. But you're gonna say something about how Marsha's.

[Francis]

No, I was gonna say something about the other person driving.

[Roan]

Oh, I wouldn't.

[Harry]

It was, it was her. It was her dumbass fault. You're gonna Say.

[Francis]

No, just the way that she, like, went about it was, like, a little. Like, it was a little odd. Like, she. It seemed like she. Like, she didn't. Like, she didn't care at all. And then it almost seemed like she thought she did something wrong. I think she might have smoked meth before driving.

[Roan]

They have that over there?

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

You think that you guys could have got away with it and just blamed her if you just had?

[Francis]

No, no, I think they try. I think they got out. When they got the car, they were like, what the. And then they were. Apparently there was, like, there was, like, witnesses, and, like, there's a bunch of people, and they were all like, yeah, you guys were in the wrong lane. And they were like, oh, okay.

[Roan]

Oh, there were witnesses.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

I thought it was, like, a backcountry road.

[Francis]

No, it was like the main road, so there's cars.

[Harry]

God damn.

[Roan]

Well, I didn't know it was her fault, so I'm glad you.

[Francis]

No, no, no. It wasn't cleared that it wasn't her fault. She handled it very well.

[Harry]

How's that? How's handling it?

[Francis]

Well, I don't really know.

[Harry]

She wasn't mad.

[Francis]

I wasn't there. It was weird. Her boyfriend showed up, like, didn't even say anything to her. Just grabbed her ass.

[Roan]

What? Like, do you mean, like.

[Francis]

Like, squeezed it twice? Like, we all saw it. It was bizarre. Like, he didn't even. Like, he didn't even, like, say, like, oh, my God. Like, are you. Like. He just went over and grabbed.

[Harry]

Oh, he probably was like, let me claim. Let me put my.

[Francis]

I think that's what happens. I think her and numbers were talking.

[Harry]

Yeah. And he was like, this is mine.

[Francis]

Yeah. So that was, like. It was a little weird, right? Like, that's a little weird.

[Roan]

What is the deal?

[Francis]

Isn't that a little odd?

[Roan]

Your attention is certain.

[Francis]

No, no. We all know this was not. Like, this wasn't just me. Everyone. Everyone saw it. Dude, if you got in a wreck, like. Like, if you got. If, like. Roan, I'm gonna use you as an example just because you have. You're married, but, like, if your wife got in a car accident and she was okay, you wouldn't pull up on the scene and be like, I'm going for the ass first. Well, like, maybe a hug.

[Harry]

When he got the call, it was probably, like, immediately his mind probably went to, like, if something's happened, I might never get to squeeze again.

[Roan]

Let's make sure. My favorite part of her.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

What if her acid exploded? What if it was. What if it attacked deflated or something?

[Roan]

Yeah, he needed to check that because if it hadn't been. Then he's suing you.

[Harry]

Yes.

[Francis]

He went, you know what was funny? Because I was in the van when he showed up. Like, I was pulled over in the van. So he pulls up, he pulls in in front of me, gets out of the car, goes over, grabs her ass twice, comes back the car and grabs her jacket. And I was like. So you. You had to grab the ass first? Like, that was like, that was the goal.

[Roan]

Maybe that's his way of comforting her.

[Francis]

Yeah, could be. Could be.

[Roan]

I don't. I take it back. I'm with you. There was bizarre people.

[Francis]

It was bizarre.

[Roan]

It was bizarre. Monsters.

[Francis]

No, they're not monsters. They were great people.

[Harry]

What did he look like? Was he like a hench? British dude?

[Francis]

He was just like a normal looking guy.

[Harry]

And I didn't even see her. Can we talk about her ass?

[Francis]

I didn't even see her.

[Harry]

What was the nature of her ass?

[Francis]

I. The whole.

[Harry]

What if it's. What if it was stupendous matters.

[Francis]

A. I don't really remember. I mean, he got a handful of it, so it had to have been decently, you know, shape. Decent shape.

[Roan]

Did he, you know, did it sort of seem like he was going into the crack?

[Francis]

He was going for everything.

[Roan]

So down the middle.

[Francis]

The only thing he cared about in that moment was the ass.

[Roan]

And he. He squeezed it.

[Harry]

Did then.

[Roan]

Did you take his hand off and

[Francis]

then squeeze it back for seconds. Really? Yes.

[Roan]

How far apart?

[Francis]

Like maybe a full second.

[Roan]

Okay, so he took his hand off, then went back and squeezing it, or

[Harry]

did he go hungry?

[Francis]

It was like, squeeze, squeeze.

[Harry]

And what did he do with his hand between squeezes? Lower the small of the back or did he just let it hang?

[Francis]

I think he let it hang.

[Harry]

That's crazy.

[Roan]

Was he hard?

[Francis]

Probably.

[Roan]

Why did you watch this so closely?

[Francis]

Because there was police. Like, I was. I was literally parked next to the scene. Who else was in? The cops everywhere, Mooc.

[Harry]

And he saw this.

[Roan]

Did you comment to him on it?

[Francis]

We. Everyone saw it. Everyone was like, what the fuck was that?

[Roan]

Yeah, that's the weird part.

[Francis]

Look, it was bad. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. How old are they, Bush? I don't know. Probably like 30.

[Harry]

Okay.

[Roan]

Now, while that woman was trying to drive around the bush.

[Harry]

Yeah. She was almost wrapped her car around the bush.

[Francis]

It was really bad. And I. I mean, I don't take full responsibility because if I wasn't Driving and I wasn't in the car. But I do take responsibility of like, we should have known better to send that crew.

[Harry]

What's wrong with Moresh?

[Francis]

Nothing's wrong with Moresh. Moresh is probably the most responsible person there, but it's just too much like Abe is a very. Like. Like Abe Jerry Numbers.

[Harry]

Well, Abe is Frank's godbrother. Right.

[Roan]

No, no, no,

[Francis]

That's the wrong Abe.

[Harry]

This is 28 Miranda.

[Francis]

This is 20 year old Dave.

[Harry]

I think Abe Miranda is 20.

[Roan]

But.

[Francis]

So it just shouldn't have been that crew.

[Harry]

Yeah, you should have had an adult number. Like you were a mooc.

[Francis]

Honestly. Yeah. Like numbers and Jerry together, it's just. It's too funny. Like, they're too funny together. Like you can't focus on anything.

[Roan]

You think was laughing so hard.

[Francis]

I think everyone was probably laughing so hard. Everything they say is funny.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Like they feed off of it. It's like. It's like you're watching a sketch unfold in front of you.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

So I think it was just. It was probably just chaotic in the car and no one was paying attention.

[Harry]

I was salty. I feel like you like blue balled with a lot of the content.

[Francis]

Like what? We have so much content that we couldn't put out because of the crash.

[Harry]

Why?

[Francis]

Because it was all driving around being like, this is insane.

[Harry]

But I feel like all the content was like you guys just getting to the pub and then it's like, well, what did you order at the pub? Or what was the banter like? It like, British pub culture is like a huge. And it's just like walking.

[Francis]

We weren't in the pubs that we would go to. We were the only ones there. We were in the middle of nowhere. It wasn't like we were in like the heart of London, like getting a pint. It was like we went to a place that like happened to be like able to make food.

[Harry]

Yeah. I don't know. I would have wanted to. I still would have wanted to see like you having some blood sausage or something.

[Francis]

We didn't have. We didn't have any food.

[Roan]

No one's asked that for a long time.

[Francis]

Like, sweet. The play we went to actually had to go back to that pub on the last night or the second to last night.

[Roan]

I believe my husband left some cans of beans when he passed away.

[Francis]

Yeah, I don't know. It was. It was a tough weekend, to be honest. It was.

[Harry]

We've been growing some heads of cabbage. We can throw in a stew.

[Francis]

The crash was terrible. The crash Just set off the weekend to be like a bad start, don't you think? Because then we're going into the weekend being like, we're fools. Like, ever we go to the venue, everyone's coming up to Maresh, taking photos with him, being like, this is the bloke.

[Harry]

This is the.

[Francis]

This is the lad that was driving in the wrong lane.

[Roan]

Can't you embrace that a little bit?

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Roan]

Can't you lean into that?

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

So this is how things go at Barstool.

[Francis]

But then you lose the tournament as well. And then you're like, okay, now this actually really sucks.

[Roan]

I appreciate that you take this seriously as you do.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Roan]

And want your team to win and succeed. But it. It's an. It's not hard for me to call your trip a success in that everybody was talking about you guys.

[Francis]

The. We said, like, the car crash saved us almost.

[Roan]

Yeah, there you go.

[Harry]

I heard people being like, moresh was driving in the right lane. And then he was like, this trip's been a disaster.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

And fucking veered over the number of

[Roan]

memes that I posted.

[Francis]

Like, Daily Mail is gonna have a field day with this.

[Harry]

He's a mastermind.

[Francis]

People were sending us. Being like, you guys are. It was in the Daily Mail. I was like, I think, like, you can just log into the Daily Mail and just write an article. I don't think. I think anything that's just like, Wikipedia. Like, anyone can upload anything you can.

[Harry]

It's just absolute articles.

[Francis]

Also, like, we didn't even get the credit for it either. Like, we didn't even get the credit for crashing the car. It was all Dave. It was like the story benefited Dave way more than it benefited.

[Roan]

That's what matters.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Why do you mean? What do you mean? Credit?

[Harry]

Are you talking.

[Francis]

You weren't even in the headlines. What the headlines? Reddit are you going to get Portnoy? Dumb asses crash car.

[Harry]

Yeah, yeah.

[Francis]

Bush in there. You know, just tag, attack the account or something.

[Roan]

Is this your first time?

[Francis]

Like, being in a wreck? Yes.

[Roan]

Being under, you know, one of Dave's stories.

[Francis]

I don't like to look foolish, if you will. I don't like to always do. I don't like to be made out to be a fool.

[Roan]

I. I spent a year on a book that he said he didn't make it through a page. I was, yeah, I'm a fool.

[Francis]

Yeah. It's unfortunate.

[Roan]

I'm a fool. And yet, fine. Yeah.

[Francis]

But you know what? I don't like being a fool.

[Roan]

I don't either.

[Francis]

Everybody. I want to be seen as a genius.

[Harry]

Genius behind Telluride bush.

[Francis]

Exactly.

[Roan]

We all pass the jester hat around here. We all do. And the people who do well are the ones who can.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Crash the car, jiggle the bells and d. Yeah.

[Roan]

And then laugh at themselves.

[Francis]

Yeah. Yeah. No, I mean, I.

[Roan]

This is. This is certainly not coming from a. I've. Sometimes I can pull it off, and sometimes I can't. Tommy beat me in the Wonderlook, and it fucking ate it myself.

[Francis]

Yeah, that's the thing. It's just. Sometimes you just crack, you know? Yeah, exactly. I can take it for the most part. Like, I was on the act for years. They hated me. I've been able to take it. Like, I'm. I've been through adversity.

[Harry]

Yeah, you never cracked. Except for that time you shaved your head.

[Francis]

No, that's what I'm saying is eventually it just. It pools over and you're like, yes,

[Harry]

I can't take it anymore.

[Roan]

And it's. What's weird. I couldn't relate more. And what's weird is that sometimes the thing that, like, breaks the dam is the least significant of them all. Yeah.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

It's been building up, and finally you hit that point. And then the sad part is, it just looks like that one thing was the one, and people are like, well, that reaction is totally out of line.

[Francis]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Roan]

With the offense. Yeah. But you're like, no, it was three years of feeling.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Yeah. It's been stewing up and just building up.

[Harry]

Not me. See, I had a TMZ article about me, and my mom printed it out and framed it on her wall.

[Francis]

Really?

[Harry]

Oh, yeah.

[Francis]

From recently.

[Harry]

Yeah, yeah. She's super proud of it. They're writing about my boy. Oh.

[Francis]

That was the thing, too, is that no one told anybody. So when Dave tweeted this screenshot out, I had to, like, call my. I had to call my parents and be like, you're gonna find out about this. I didn't want them to, like, be, like, worried, you know?

[Roan]

But it's a pretty quick call, right?

[Harry]

Hey, I didn't get in a crash.

[Roan]

Indian kid who doesn't have the experience of driving on the streets of Bangalore.

[Francis]

I don't think it's necessary to say that he's Indian. I don't think that's very relevant.

[Roan]

That's just how I pictured you talking

[Harry]

to your parents, because you were like, this Indian kid.

[Francis]

Can't make this up in parentheses.

[Harry]

You couldn't make this up. He's in.

[Roan]

You Know how the British hate Indian people? Well, are you sitting down?

[Francis]

Yeah, I mean, I guess. Yeah, you guys are right. I mean, I don't. I don't. First of all. Yeah, I'm not actually mad at legal Paul, so if he's listening to this, I apologize for the.

[Harry]

Well, he's going to hit you with a libel case.

[Francis]

I fucking hope not.

[Harry]

He's going to hit you with a vicious slander case.

[Francis]

Out of the car.

[Harry]

This has been written and spoken.

[Francis]

We got back to the house. Numbers is walking around. He's like, my neck. And Jerry's like, numbers bury them. He said he was coming for workers comp. I mean, but the crash, like, the thing is, the crash killed the vibes completely. Like everyone was happy to be there and, like, excited to be there. And then the crash. It's just.

[Harry]

I kind of think the crash in this weekend going poorly is like when your star wide out has a down year. And so instead of having to pay him a max contract, now you get him at a little bit of a discount. Yeah, you guys finish eighth in this tournament. So now four guys that would have left for greener pastures have to stay with the team a little bit longer because they have to dig out of the hole that you put them in.

[Francis]

Well, we didn't put them in the hole, they put themselves in the hole.

[Roan]

But what movie have you ever watched where the team wins the first tournament? Yeah, and then that's it.

[Francis]

But we didn't win the first tournament.

[Roan]

This is my point. This is your. This is where, like, things started out. Well, you got the trip. The team's cooking, you know, Telluride bush. Everyone's talk about it. Oh, they're big trip Birmingham.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

And then. Yeah, it's the first scene of the movie.

[Roan]

It's the fall. It's the fall from grace. And now you got to fight your way back. Which means that the redemption at the end of the arc, Dark will feel that much sweeter. There is goodness coming to you guys. I hope you just have to continue to believe.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Were you filming when that car crash happened?

[Francis]

Mikey was, but you gotta put that in the dock. No, but he like didn't really get this. He didn't really get the clip. He didn't really get it because like when he crashed, he said he just. His like it. It cut out like it. He accidentally pressed stop.

[Roan]

That's convenient.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

It's kind of unfortunate, but yeah, some makes sense. I don't think he was really thinking about the content in the heat of the crash.

[Roan]

But it's the difference between a guy like Mikey and a guy like Frankie.

[Harry]

Yeah. Oh, that's why Austin's in charge.

[Francis]

Exactly. We just need.

[Roan]

Frankie's sitting next to Dave at the super bowl and Dave's getting pulled out by security. Yeah, your guys would have all over it.

[Francis]

I know.

[Roan]

That's truly.

[Francis]

We actually. I know what's funny is we showed that video to the players. We were just showing them old barstool videos.

[Roan]

That. That's like. For Frankie to have kept his head in that moment is like worthy of a Peabody.

[Francis]

I mean. Yeah, he knew Dave would murder him if he did.

[Roan]

That's. That's a cynical way of thinking about it.

[Harry]

I think that there was like another moment before that that had happened where it wasn't fully filmed or something. Like there was like a lesson that was like, hey, if this happens, you better be fucking filming type of deal. I could be wrong.

[Roan]

No, you're right.

[Harry]

You wrote the book.

[Roan]

Let's take all the credit away from

[Harry]

Frankie and give it back to Dave. Actually, Austin.

[Roan]

But Dave Portnoy's cameraman luckily maintains Dave

[Harry]

frames a perfect shot for his cameraman. Telluride bush sucks.

[Roan]

Is that Rolex over there? Thank you.

[Harry]

You know what they mean in that song where he's like, I just want a rolly rolly rolly with a dabberanch.

[Francis]

I don't. I don't know what that means.

[Harry]

Can we look up what that means?

[Roan]

Are any of those 1 million bottles of water filled?

[Harry]

Most of them are just cracked with one sip from them.

[Roan]

Oh, perfect.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Nothing makes me happier than finishing a bottle that has had one sip taken out of it. So I get the benefit of the disease.

[Francis]

Yeah. Still get the germs with the hydration. Yeah. With the room. Temple.

[Harry]

See, that's not right. All that stuff is not right. There's like. There was just. I just heard someone describe it. Oh, carrots.

[Francis]

Oh, I see carrots.

[Harry]

Dip the carrots in the ranch.

[Francis]

I like that. That's.

[Harry]

I knew I like that. Knew I didn't have to go to the AI Overview. I could achieve this myself.

[Francis]

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[Harry]

There's supposedly some new AI doc that's coming out. Yeah, made me think of you.

[Francis]

Well, apparently we've, we've achieved AGI singularity. Finally.

[Harry]

It's about time.

[Roan]

I got a doc wreck. Yeah, the Murdoch doc was excellent.

[Francis]

The one that came out like five years ago.

[Roan]

Rupert Murdoch, not Murdog. Oh, whatever. Murdoch, like Rupert Murdoch his kids. The family upon which succession was based. And I thought the show was a pretty fictionalized version of their family did. Dude, it is pretty damn close.

[Harry]

Doesn't the white. I saw like a little bit of this.

[Roan]

Doesn't.

[Harry]

Didn't the wife, like she basically tell you I bushed someone with her car?

[Francis]

Really?

[Harry]

Didn't she kill someone?

[Roan]

Yes, there was a car accident and

[Harry]

they like swept it under the rug. Yeah, they did.

[Roan]

They did. They did. Yeah.

[Francis]

Lucky them.

[Harry]

They didn't have legal Paul blowing the horn. It was like his blonde wife.

[Roan]

His first, I think it was his first wife, the British one. That and because he controlled the press, so he controlled News of the World, which was the tabloid sort of sensation in London or in England. Anyway, I'm not going to tell the story. Just watch the fucking documentary.

[Francis]

I don't think they have freedom of speech out there in England. Yeah, they do.

[Harry]

I think they.

[Francis]

I was trying to watch the Netanyahu documentary and I couldn't said not available in this country. Blocked.

[Roan]

I tried to watch like Friends once over there.

[Harry]

They don't have freedom of speech.

[Roan]

I'm not going to draw too many.

[Harry]

I could have listened to Melly Cat.

[Francis]

It wasn't available on any of the platforms.

[Roan]

Well, you know, Ross and Rachel, like it was there.

[Francis]

Like it shows up when you look it up and then you try to watch it. It says not available in this country.

[Roan]

Yeah, I mean that. Well blocked. Who knows?

[Harry]

You think that that's like about. You think it's, that's about like Jews controlling the media and it's like A Paramount copyright claim.

[Francis]

Did I ever say those words?

[Roan]

Dude, you got your hair back by the way.

[Francis]

Oh fuck.

[Roan]

Fucking awesome. Again.

[Francis]

Thank you.

[Roan]

Stoked.

[Francis]

Appreciate it.

[Roan]

I missed it from earlier.

[Francis]

I know.

[Roan]

Now it's got that nice sort of like. Yeah, yeah. Don't, don't, don't do too much.

[Francis]

Forehead's itchy.

[Roan]

Oh, you can itch it, but I know.

[Francis]

So anyways, we get in the car crash, then we go to bed. Everyone sleeps horrible because they were all jet lagged. And then we go to the tournament. We. The thing that sucks was we never even really got to enjoy the tournament because like day one everyone was just felt like the first day of the tournament, everyone just felt awful. Like everyone was just exhausted. No one slept at all. And then we get through the day, we win all of our matches, we're in the winners bracket.

[Roan]

Is this Friday?

[Francis]

This is Friday. And then Saturday everyone gets a great night or that night everyone gets a great night of sleep.

[Roan]

That's when you smoked.

[Francis]

Yeah, I don't remember but we, we went. Yes, we went in to the tournament. We're playing Omit, which is like the other big. There's like three big teams and challengers and like that's one of them. Them is Omit. And they smoked us. Smoked us. And we, I thought we were going to win that. And then we go to losers bracket. So now we're one. We're single elimination. If we lose one more map or if we lose one more series, we're out. And as soon as we went into that losers bracket, I was like, we're done, it's over. Because we shouldn't have lost to them. And then it was just. The energy was terrible. Like we just didn't have like good vibes at all.

[Harry]

The funniest thing is whenever someone like whenever whatever team wins the. When a team just stands up.

[Francis]

Oh yeah, yeah, it's the best. Yeah, it's the best. But that, but that was like they

[Harry]

didn't even have like talk to you. Like they stood up like ready to talk and they saw your. Like they were talking shit before lacid like, you guys look pathetic.

[Francis]

Yeah, it was just not a good. We didn't. The problem is, is that one of the guys that got picked up from our team that we had in the first major, like he was that guy. He was the guy that would like get up and be like, you guys fucking suck and like, like shit on other people. And we didn't have that energy and it showed. It's really hard to like rally and like regain the momentum when you don't have someone like that to be like, let's fucking get going again.

[Roan]

I texted Jerry a few weeks ago and I said, you know, I'm a. I'm actually genuinely. And I'm not just saying yes, I'm a big fan of what you guys are all doing. Yeah, I would love to come. Sometimes you guys come to Atlanta and give the team a pump up speech.

[Francis]

I try. We try.

[Roan]

You don't have.

[Francis]

I just send them like Mike Tyson clips and shit. Yeah.

[Roan]

You don't have like locker rooms. Were you ever captain of one of your teams that you're on?

[Francis]

No. No.

[Roan]

So I was a captain.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

And I would give our team speeches.

[Harry]

What would it sound like?

[Roan]

Well, one time we played nya, which was North Yarmouth Academy, but we called them Nazi Youth Academy.

[Francis]

Oh, hell yeah. Yeah.

[Roan]

Because they were the private school across the train tracks from our public school, which basically felt like a private school.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

But was definitely still public versus private. Same town, big rivals. And we played them at home under the lights on a Friday night my senior year. I think both teams were undefeated. And I remember at that time I was just like, I think I'd been dumped by Hillary or something. I don't remember her last name.

[Harry]

Yeah, you never forgotten the last name. Was it Decker, feather off, you know, middle name?

[Roan]

What was her name? I'll think of it. Her. I think her name was Hillary, but I can't remember her last. Anyway, point is, she had dumped me or had not been interested in me or something and it was embarrassing. And then I had gotten up like a. A grade on a test that I thought I had done better on.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

And I, I was just like. We got all. We had this shed and the whole team gathered in the shed and we knew it was going to be a packed house. Like the whole school was turning out. These were our huge rivals. Our pump up music was playing, our opening song, which got us so jacked up. And I gathered everyone in and I said something like, all right, boys, like, like, you know, I'm gonna tell you guys right now. And I looked all of them, you know, and I said, school sucks. Yeah, girls are the worst. But there is nowhere on earth I'd rather be right now standing here with you boys ready to walk out there and kick their ass.

[Francis]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Roan]

And I got. It was like kind of all. It was short.

[Francis]

Yeah, that's all you need.

[Roan]

I was like, all of this is bad, but there is nowhere I'd rather be than here, right Now I'm getting chills. Just sing.

[Harry]

Yeah, yeah, of course.

[Roan]

Fucking jacked up. Ready to fucking drive through a car in Britain. And anyway, so I, we, we went out and we beat them, I think 13, 12.

[Francis]

Damn.

[Roan]

I think I went four and two.

[Francis]

That's close. Four goals to a counter strike match.

[Roan]

Sam Miller was excellent back that, that night.

[Harry]

It's part of the speech.

[Roan]

And, and Johnny Curry, also really, really solid. Both of those guys were so good at attack.

[Harry]

That's what they were calling morech in England.

[Roan]

Johnny Curry.

[Harry]

It was probably the speech, honestly, that put you guys over the top.

[Francis]

Yeah, I mean, we, I tried, I tried.

[Harry]

What'd you, what was yours?

[Francis]

Well, I didn't, I didn't have a speech, but I went up to one of our guys and I said, let's be relentless today.

[Roan]

Yeah, see, that's ridiculous.

[Harry]

Relentless.

[Roan]

Look, here's the problem. The problem, Harry, is this. Those guys know that you're not good at Call of Duty.

[Francis]

That's the problem. That is the problem. So they don't respect you are right about that. That they.

[Roan]

I don't, I don't play Call of Duty.

[Francis]

But they know that we're like passionate about it and we're like, not enough.

[Roan]

It's as if you're a fan. They, they, they, they're treating. You need to put the muscle on the dog.

[Francis]

No, no, they. I will say maybe I'm not the guy to get them fired up, but like Jerry can get them going.

[Roan]

Jerry can, sure, they definitely respect Jerry.

[Francis]

But you, I don't think they disrespect. They respect me as well.

[Roan]

I don't think so.

[Francis]

They do, sir.

[Roan]

Doesn't sound.

[Francis]

They definitely do.

[Roan]

Abe, Abe. They were laughing at Jerry and, and numbers. Abe was cracking jokes, remember?

[Francis]

You should see, now they're laughing at me.

[Harry]

Yeah, but your staff, I think they're

[Francis]

laughing at Jerry and numbers.

[Harry]

You and Mook are staff.

[Francis]

I know we are, unfortunately.

[Harry]

But everybody comes up and recognizes Jerry.

[Francis]

Yeah. And it's the Jerry show.

[Harry]

They're just sitting there.

[Francis]

I got no problem.

[Harry]

I don't gotta be this staff. Yeah.

[Francis]

I don't gotta be the star. But we gotta win like eighth. That's not gonna do it.

[Roan]

I think you need the. From what I can tell, hell, these kids on your team.

[Francis]

No, they're good people.

[Roan]

No, those.

[Francis]

They're good people. They're good guys.

[Roan]

What are their names again? Abe and Abe's brand.

[Francis]

Abe and Joe are new to the team. Byron and Lou have been on the team.

[Roan]

I, I don't Know, man, I just think these guys aren't. Aren't embracing their opportunity and they're taking it for granted and they're very entitled.

[Francis]

No.

[Roan]

And I need to go in there and I need to.

[Harry]

I think. I do think that would help.

[Francis]

I think that would help. I think we could use the motivation. But they are, they are. They're not entitled guys and they want to threaten them. You could. It would probably help. But they are like, they are very like, like as much as we care, they care 10 times more.

[Harry]

Parents are. The hus suck. But all we have is us now

[Roan]

they talk to gamer speak. They don't show up on time.

[Francis]

They do show up on time.

[Roan]

They're not.

[Francis]

They're always on time.

[Roan]

You told me that they don't want to stay in the same hotel and

[Francis]

that was major one. That was the first tournament. Those guys we. That, that's. That's been display. We're fine. We. We handled that.

[Roan]

Is that whole team out now in a new team?

[Francis]

Two of those guys are gone.

[Roan]

Who did you lose?

[Francis]

We lost Cap and Chris and Spart. Cap and Spart.

[Roan]

And who was there of that is currently on the team?

[Francis]

Byron and Lou.

[Roan]

So Byron and Lou are, are they glue guys?

[Francis]

Glue. They're glue guys. Actually, Byron's the face of the team. Byron is like, like, is. He is the glue guy. Like he's our leader. Like he, he. He's the guy. Like, that's what I was saying about when we lost. Spart was the other guy that would like get people going. Byron is the other guy that does that. But it's like he can't. It's hard when it's just. When there's only one guy like that.

[Roan]

Yeah, I need to talk to Byron maybe.

[Harry]

Yeah. He needs to be like, you need to give him a speech. He can give a speech.

[Roan]

We need to.

[Francis]

We should have him on the pot. You should have him come in and do the pot.

[Roan]

100%.

[Harry]

What's he doing now?

[Francis]

Now he's flying back.

[Harry]

Okay. Yeah, like I'd like to get him now.

[Roan]

Can we go pick him up?

[Francis]

I don't know if.

[Harry]

Is he going into ewr? He is.

[Francis]

Yeah, but he lives in Jersey. Like, not, not.

[Harry]

We got to get to him today. Yeah, because like Atlanta, like, if, if, if the same thing that happened in Brum happens in Atlanta. Yeah, you guys are. Are fucked.

[Francis]

Well, the real worry is that Byron might get picked up by a pro team.

[Roan]

God damn it. Dude.

[Francis]

Which if that happens, we're like, we're in a really Bad spot.

[Roan]

So this is why we're going to what we need to do. I'll tell.

[Francis]

We've already got, we've already got like we're already moving. Like this shit doesn't stop.

[Roan]

I'm going to say to Byron, look man, you stick with the team through the end of the run, I'll give you $75,000.

[Francis]

Oh, that would be great.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Because I would be really good.

[Roan]

I was on the verge of buying a second painting this week that was 75K. This one was 25.

[Francis]

Okay.

[Roan]

But then I remembered I'm trying to save $100,000.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Roan]

Which everyone got mad at me for saying thing which is insane to me. It's a goal you're gonna be mad at me for. I'm not gonna, I'm not necessarily going to achieve it. It's an, it's a goal and which guess what if I don't reach it and I only save 13,000. At least, at least I've saved some money.

[Francis]

Yeah, definitely.

[Roan]

I don't think it's tone deaf to say that I want to save money.

[Francis]

Yeah, I don't think it is either.

[Harry]

It's ignoble.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Harry]

It's nasty of you and, and dark and elitist.

[Roan]

I have no idea if I will but I, I did, I did avoid buying this second painting which was really tough.

[Francis]

Well, if you could pay Byron his a salary, I mean. Yeah, it would be fun.

[Harry]

Is that an investment though? Like how are you going to get that money back? Like that painting's going to appreciate.

[Roan]

That's the problem. That is the problem.

[Francis]

We're in such a tough time. I need to take this.

[Roan]

Hold on a second.

[Francis]

Oh, all good, all good. We're just, we're in a tight spot.

[Harry]

You'll be able to get through it. But if you can get some of Francis's money, like.

[Francis]

Because the problem is, is like right now we were talking about when we were there, we're competing against these Saudi teams and they are just like we can't. We would need the budget of all of barstool to compete with them.

[Harry]

Well, do you think that like this you could get Saudi money?

[Francis]

No, I don't think we can. I think we've, I think we're too far gone.

[Harry]

Well, you did say a lot of nasty stuff about the Riyadh Comedy Festival.

[Francis]

I did. And then we said a lot of that. Like we've the, the teams don't. The team doesn't.

[Roan]

Us.

[Harry]

Who?

[Francis]

The Saudi team.

[Harry]

Just one Saudi.

[Francis]

I thought it was with Them a

[Harry]

lot of Saudi money.

[Roan]

I think that's good that there's beef with the Saudi team. 15 of the 19 hijackers.

[Francis]

17.

[Roan]

17. Who's counting?

[Francis]

Me.

[Roan]

So am I. And I haven't forget.

[Francis]

Never forget, never forget who wasn't.

[Harry]

Where were the other ones from?

[Roan]

Like Oman and Yemen or some shit? Or may maybe. Yeah, that is a good question. Are you sure? T shirt. Is it 17?

[Francis]

I thought it was 17.

[Harry]

Can we look up how many of the hijackers were.

[Roan]

How many of the hijackers were Saudi

[Harry]

and where were the rest of them from? Let me find out. That one of them was from Jersey.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

But I'll say the one thing that I, the one thing that really, that really got me this weekend was the comments.

[Roan]

Oh, it is 15. I don't know why I let you do this to me.

[Francis]

Well, you said 19.

[Roan]

No, I said 15 of the 19

[Francis]

and now you're doing that. I said 17 and I was so. I was wrong in every which way way. Look, I'm willing. I'm, I'm bad at my job.

[Harry]

Well, at least you've been reading the comments. Yeah.

[Roan]

Oh, one, two were from uae, one was from Egypt and one from Lebanon. I'm going to take an L there too because I said Oman and Yemen

[Francis]

and those aren't, I mean there, none of those people are from where they say, so it doesn't even matter like who give. Like, honestly, like all of that's fake.

[Roan]

Are you talking about? What do you mean? What do you mean?

[Francis]

They're all plants.

[Roan]

Oh boy. Here we go. Oh boy.

[Harry]

These are just George Bush's good old boys.

[Francis]

These are his boys.

[Harry]

These are all, they're all from Texas.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Harry]

It was all Texas Rangers farm system guys.

[Francis]

Yeah. I mean we got so we, we got eliminated. Getting eliminated was maybe the most frustrated I've ever been in my entire life.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Cuz it's like we got like nine screens with the chat up and they're just. You guys suck. You guys, you're, y' all getting fought. Dave's firing all of you guys. This was a massive failure.

[Roan]

I actually hired a click farm to.

[Harry]

Yeah, me and Francis.

[Francis]

That's how it felt. It felt that way.

[Roan]

Going all night.

[Francis]

Yeah, I, bro, I broke.

[Harry]

Don't let up.

[Francis]

I, I, I feel like I've been so good at like ignoring comments for the last like three years probably. But I guess because we've only, I've really only been doing this show, which it's pretty like we get. There's Not a lot of nasty comments on this show.

[Harry]

Until Nick Mullen comes on.

[Francis]

Until Nick Mullen comes on. Then a lot of nasty comments.

[Harry]

But it was probably that combined with this.

[Francis]

It was. It was a combo of both and it was. Yeah, just people being like, this is like. Like Dave's shutting down the book. Like, it's just. It's annoying because it seems like people want it to fail so bad, but it's like it actually. Like what you said, like what you said about, like regarding the placing, like, it actually went well. Like, we got a lot of good content out and it all did well.

[Roan]

Which is why let me tell you something, dude. If tomorrow somehow the bush actually got shut down, all of those people would immediately be like, wait, what the fuck? Yeah, we loved this. They there. They would. They would do that.

[Francis]

Yeah, that's how it's just like the. The change of tune, the video that we put out, that owners meeting that we put out with Austin. It's just there's. Now we got. Now the problem is now we got like 75 Austins in the CH all being like, well, this wouldn't have happened if we had an adult in the room and being like, like, like, dude, we. We. We streamed on Sunday. We streamed on Sunday, which fucking sucked. Like, our team's not in it anymore. So we streamed the challengers grand finals.

[Harry]

Well, at least you filmed through the end of the last final, right?

[Francis]

We did. This is the biggest, like, bunch of fucking bullshit I've ever heard. We streamed the challengers finals. We are a challengers team, right. That's what we're there to cover.

[Roan]

Cover.

[Francis]

But then that ends and then the CDL finals start. We're not covering the cdl.

[Roan]

What's that?

[Francis]

The professional league.

[Roan]

Oh, they were there too.

[Francis]

Yeah, they were there and they. We didn't stream the grand finals of the professional league because we had to go film the rest of our challengers content. And people took that as like, oh, these guys are lazy as and don't try. And it's like they basically.

[Harry]

They filmed the bronze medal game but not the gold medal game because we

[Francis]

just wanted to get an extra hour of streaming in. It had nothing to do. Like, we were just doing that out of. Just like for the fans.

[Roan]

I did. Why would. I don't understand. Why would. Why would you be covering the cdl?

[Francis]

Exactly.

[Roan]

Number one and number two, why were they there in the same place that you guys.

[Francis]

Because there was a dream hack event. So it's like all of the esports are together.

[Roan]

Say less Dream hack. I got it. Yeah, that actually weirdly does make sense. Those words are perfect. Just pulled it together for me.

[Harry]

Actually, it's a dream hack event.

[Francis]

No, but it was super. Like, that was super annoying when people were like, oh, they didn't stream the grand finale. Like, these guys are so lazy. And I was like, dude, the. The people that we're competing with to stream the grand finals have over 100,000 concurrent live viewers. Like, we weren't sent there to do that. Like, we did our job.

[Harry]

There's dudes on a desk. Like, it's the NBA Finals. Literally. Tnt.

[Francis]

Yes.

[Harry]

Like, sitting there like Charles Barkley and suits.

[Francis]

It's like, if we. It's like, yeah, there was A, that's not the content that we're there to do. And B, the. Our viewership was 5% of what it was when our team was playing. It was completely useless.

[Roan]

I think one thing that I would tell you is if you want all of this to stop, stop swimming upstream.

[Francis]

Oh, no, I'm never going to stop.

[Roan]

Just swim with the current.

[Francis]

I'm not a guy that just brushes.

[Roan]

Yeah, we. We should. We did it.

[Francis]

Well, no, I mean, if the fans can be like, we're like, I can be like, no, you guys are like, I'm allowed to have that. I'm not saying I hate the fans,

[Roan]

where if you wear the hat, then they stop calling you the thing.

[Francis]

No, I'm just acknowledging the fact that they were wrong about what they thought. Like, like, them be like, they just don't understand what we were doing. Like, it's very easy to be like, they didn't finish the job. Like, they didn't do what they were supposed to. It was like, no, we actually did. Like, you guys have no idea what you're talking about. So it's like that. I mean, I'm just. I'm just gonna say that.

[Roan]

Fine.

[Francis]

Yeah. And then we went back to the house to finish filming all of our confessionals for the documentary that we put out at the end of it, which for some reason, people were like, people just lie. It's crazy.

[Roan]

I think all of this will be. You'll. You'll be absolved once all that content comes out. It just needs to get edited.

[Francis]

It did, but we've put out so much content from the trip. Like, we put out. We put out a YouTube.

[Roan]

You haven't put out the part. Well, this is so in the weeds. You haven't put out the part that shows what you guys were doing while people thought you should have been streaming the thing.

[Francis]

Yeah. Yeah. I guess it's just annoying as like losing and then having to read all that. I was like, I'm gonna kill myself.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Harry]

You had to go on your first class flight home, pissed off.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Did.

[Harry]

Can you fill us in on some of like the cultural parts of it? Like, did you have. What? Like, did you have a cheeky pint of energy?

[Francis]

No, we were. We streamed the. We were streaming the entire time.

[Harry]

There's video of you guys at a pub. All of you guys together. You said you went to multiple pubs. Like, what were that was doing at the piano?

[Francis]

We just got dinner. I didn't get anything to drink.

[Harry]

What. What'd you have for dinner?

[Francis]

I had chicken every night. The first time I had fish and chips.

[Roan]

How was it?

[Francis]

Fine. Standard not great, right? No, it was fine.

[Roan]

I think sometimes it's quite good and sometimes it's quite.

[Francis]

The curry sauce was very good.

[Roan]

Oh, they had that from Aesch.

[Francis]

No, they had that for me and then. And then. I don't even remember what. Like, I had fries for every single. I ate fries for every single meal. Yeah.

[Roan]

Chips.

[Francis]

All I've eaten this week.

[Harry]

Was it fun to say chips?

[Francis]

No, it wasn't. I didn't even say it. I said, I'm going to get fries. Did.

[Roan]

Did you spend any time in London or you just went straight from the airport to Birmingham?

[Francis]

We went to London for like maybe five minutes and then went straight to Birmingham.

[Roan]

Five minute stop for a quick musical.

[Francis]

Five, quick five minute stop. The opposite direction of the Airbnb for two hours to then get there, park, go to the bathroom and leave. So that's. That really sucked. That was the one where people were like, this is fucking awful.

[Roan]

Damn.

[Harry]

A lot of time in transit. I feel like London traffic is shit too.

[Francis]

Oh, yeah.

[Roan]

Can you.

[Francis]

They got a lot of issues over there that they got to work on.

[Roan]

Can you explain the Nicky numbers thing?

[Harry]

Is he.

[Roan]

Is he being paid for any of this?

[Francis]

No, no, he's just there.

[Roan]

What does he do in his life?

[Francis]

He is a firefighter. Really?

[Harry]

Yeah, but he's got no. He doesn't answer to no one.

[Francis]

He doesn't answer to anybody.

[Roan]

How tall is he?

[Francis]

Probably like five, eight.

[Harry]

Jerry. Him and Jerry are built in the same factory. They're.

[Francis]

They've known each other since kindergarten.

[Roan]

Is numbers strong?

[Francis]

Yeah, he's jacked.

[Roan]

That's kind of what I thought.

[Francis]

Yeah. But he also wakes up every morning and runs like 8 miles and then he immediately starts drinking.

[Roan]

Oh, my kind of guy. I love.

[Francis]

He goes he says you gotta earn them. Yeah, but he's not like this. That he's drinking is insane. It's not like he's just like having a beer.

[Roan]

No, I haven't have been having beers at all. I'm only drinking. I'm only on cocktails right now.

[Harry]

What kind of.

[Roan]

What like, what kind of gronies? Marks? I don't know. I'm not a teeny guy, but I will drink the brown. I like a Manhattan or an old Fashioned. Mentioned. Just that kind of stuff.

[Francis]

I was gonna get a Guinness if we won, but we didn't. Oh, that would have not had Guinness.

[Harry]

You would have had one. Just a single beer?

[Francis]

Yeah, I would have a Guinness.

[Harry]

Sick.

[Roan]

Cool.

[Francis]

I mean, you know, it's. It's like good out there.

[Harry]

Yeah. Ireland.

[Roan]

Fresh travels.

[Francis]

Well, close enough.

[Harry]

I had a. I had a lovely cocktail last night. It was like a tequila had like a peach flavor and there was like a leaf in it or something. It was at that place, place Coconut.

[Roan]

Oh, that's supposed to be really good.

[Harry]

It was really good.

[Roan]

The chicken place.

[Harry]

The chicken place.

[Francis]

You know, I love chicken.

[Harry]

It's fried. It's fried chicken.

[Francis]

Oh, that's good.

[Harry]

It's a fried chicken.

[Roan]

That's their signature dish.

[Francis]

Really?

[Harry]

It's a bucket of fried chicken.

[Francis]

Hell yeah.

[Harry]

It would have knocked your socks off. Honestly, we should have gone there for your birthday.

[Roan]

Oh, that would be cool. Koga Dak is actually French for kfc, so it's a fancy version of that.

[Harry]

It's fresh for a Cheeky Nando's run.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

You guys didn't do Nando's out there?

[Francis]

We didn't do shit.

[Harry]

How do you not get a Cheeky Nando?

[Roan]

I went to Evelina in Brooklyn in Fort Greene last night.

[Harry]

How was it?

[Roan]

They have a Negroni menu.

[Harry]

Is that why you went That's.

[Francis]

I love it right up here. Yeah, that's right up your alley.

[Roan]

Another reason I went was because they have two very early commissioned murals from the artist whose painting I bought.

[Harry]

What the fuck painting did you buy? Why are you talking about this painting? Like I know about this painting. What painting is this?

[Roan]

She's amazing. I've been on the hunt for a piece hers for four years and they always sell out. It's like, who paintings are?

[Francis]

Keith.

[Roan]

Georgia.

[Francis]

Keith would be like, that's a funny joke.

[Harry]

85 million. Why? Because she's the woman painter.

[Francis]

You could think, dude, my building, my apartment building, they got Georgia o' Keefe everywhere. It's just. We just got vaginas. All over the lobby.

[Harry]

She is very forward.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Harry]

There's a. At the Brooklyn Museum, there's like a. There's a table of 27. It's like 27 women. And every plate is. Is like just a different. Yeah, it's just like 20, 27 vaginas.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

And then there's like, Georgia. The Georgia O' Keeffe one is like the. It's like the centerpiece.

[Francis]

Of course.

[Harry]

Apex predator vagina.

[Francis]

So you're dropping. You're dropping just money on. On paintings.

[Roan]

I only bought one. I bought one.

[Francis]

What happened to the spectrum paint painting or the. The Samsung painting?

[Roan]

The what?

[Francis]

The Sam. The Samsung. The fake frame, the TV frame. What happened to that? Just get that. You don't have to buy any $5,000.

[Roan]

Hold on a minute. Hold on, hold on. Slow down. I deleted Facebook Marketplace and Facebook from my phone because I was downloading too much time. Haggling with people for shit.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

That said, I am desperately trying to replace all of my light switch plates, which are plastic and white with brass or titanium knobs and dimmers. And I've spoken and said this, and I could really use the help of a licensed electrician. Happy to pay in. Son of a boy. Dad merch.

[Harry]

What does this have to do with the Samsung frame or the Georgia o' Keeffe that you bought?

[Francis]

Well, we're getting there.

[Roan]

We're getting there. I didn't want the. I haven't done the Samsung frame. Yeah, because that's gonna go in the betterment. I don't know. I don'. Know if I want a TV in the bedroom.

[Francis]

Well, that's why it doubles down as a painting.

[Roan]

Yeah, I just couldn't make up my mind on that yet. We'll get there. How much is it?

[Francis]

Isn't it like a thousand bucks?

[Roan]

You can get them on Facebook Marketplace for, like. You can trade them for, like, a couch or something.

[Francis]

Trade them for. For a painting.

[Harry]

You barter for the. Some magic beans for them. Yeah, but who. Who's this. Who's this painting?

[Roan]

Yeah, so the. I saw her work, like, four years ago in that restaurant. I really liked it. She's also done a bunch of paintings in Phuket in New York. You ever been there?

[Harry]

Yeah, I've not.

[Roan]

That place is fancy.

[Francis]

A couple times.

[Roan]

I've never actually really spent time there. That place is too fancy for me.

[Harry]

It's nice.

[Francis]

Yeah, It's a little casual for my liking.

[Harry]

Well, your black tie exclusive.

[Roan]

Too fancy for me. I don't like it. It's a hotel In New York, where I think. I think it's like a. It's a spending night there. It's like 2400 bucks.

[Harry]

Ah, damn.

[Roan]

It's crazy. But she's got some cool work in there. And so I've been wanting a piece of her. To buy a painting from a lot of these emerging artists is similar to buying a watch where you can't just walk into the gallery and buy one.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

You have to establish a relationship, which

[Francis]

I think that's so dumb. Just take the money.

[Roan]

Well, no, but hold on. All of the paintings are actually accounted for. And unlike a Rolex or whatever, a painter can only paint X amount of paintings a year. So maybe she does two shows a year. Five, six paintings. And she's popular. All of those will be accounted for by people who have been following the artist and have been on the list to try to buy for a while. So it took me four years to finally get to a position where.

[Harry]

Insane.

[Francis]

I've been building the relationship.

[Roan]

I got the first pick of this batch. What's her name?

[Harry]

I need to see what these paintings look like.

[Roan]

And Andy Dinkin.

[Harry]

Can we look up Andy Dinkum?

[Roan]

Not only can you look up Andy Dinkin, but you can probably find the piece that I bought.

[Harry]

Andy Dinkins.

[Roan]

A, N, D, I, E. Yeah, that.

[Francis]

Oh, I bought a piece from him. I think it's a woman or her.

[Roan]

Yeah, go to the. Whatever. One of these big scenes of the dining scene.

[Francis]

I like these a lot.

[Roan]

What?

[Francis]

I like these a lot.

[Harry]

This is the Simpsons. This is like the Simpsons opening credit it.

[Roan]

Yeah, I like these scenes.

[Francis]

Oh, I. With that.

[Roan]

They're huge. And they're kind of scenes of dining and festivity and sort of squirrel art. Sure.

[Harry]

I'm just joking.

[Roan]

It probably is girl art, but.

[Francis]

No, I like it.

[Harry]

It's warm.

[Roan]

I don't know. I don't know a whole lot about art. I don't know. Shit.

[Harry]

It looks great. It feels great.

[Roan]

I don't think that I liked it in the. I liked it in that restaurant. And I've liked the stuff she's made since then. So I finally was able to buy one. It. Do you want me to tell you the price? Is that go.

[Harry]

Is it 25,000?

[Roan]

No, 16.

[Harry]

Wow.

[Roan]

Which is a lot. Which is a lot.

[Harry]

I mean, it's like you could get like two and a couple. Two espresso machines.

[Roan]

Well, you're right. I'm selling blood these days.

[Francis]

Oh, yeah. You're selling cells.

[Roan]

Selling blood. Selling sperm. Yeah.

[Francis]

Take my body.

[Roan]

But I. But I Bought this before. I decided to buy this before I made the promise to my. Myself to save money. So then, oh, man. There was another artist that came forward.

[Francis]

Have you ever thought about just like putting your own little. Getting your own little work on top of it? You think anyone's ever like, bought a painting and been like, I'm just gonna fix.

[Roan]

Touch that up a little. I don't like this part.

[Harry]

Just draw like some titties on one of these women.

[Roan]

There's another artist then who. You know, once you get into this like, world, it's like anything where all of a sudden, sudden you have like a. An advisor. Like an art advisor.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

And they say, like, hey, by the way, given your tastes, we have these other. These are, by the way, these are called emerging artists. Like, I can't buy established artists. I mean, the art world.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Like Rothko's are selling at Sotheby's auctions right now. 53 million.

[Francis]

Yeah. Yeah. That's a little much.

[Roan]

You know, you get Basquiats, whatever. On and on. It's. Yeah, Klimt just set the record record

[Harry]

kind of paintings that. Where it's like one type of. He'll have like a. Or like a classic thing and then like something modern painted over the top of it. But that dude is so big that he'll he like, he doesn't do his own art. He just has like people working on his art. Like teams of artists working underneath him on his art.

[Francis]

That's dumb.

[Roan]

It's franchised. Yeah. It's like having physicians, assistants, and thinking that you're gonna go see the actual doctor.

[Harry]

Right. And you just have a first year

[Francis]

medical student during a decade.

[Harry]

Yeah, exactly. You have residents.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

You're just seeing residents. It's a crazy world. I can't believe you're in the art world.

[Roan]

Well, I'm not this. I pumped the brakes. I got one and I'm going to. Now I'm going to wait a long time. But that took an amount of willpower. That was crazy because I was immediately put on to another artist that I kind of discovered myself. Can we look up this guy? Casey Boulding? B O L D I N G. I think you guys, this is more male art. Right. So check out some of his stuff. He's got scenes. He's from Colorado, go down a little. I think there's some cool ones. There's like some. Yeah. I mean, some of this stuff is really cool. Really textural.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

You know how much did one of these scenes of the West?

[Harry]

How did You. And how did you discover him?

[Roan]

I'm on an email list for one of these galleries, and they're like, hey, there's this new. And I get one a week email. Yeah, but.

[Francis]

But you got an email of someone else saying, check out this guy's art.

[Roan]

I ignored. I ignored 90%.

[Harry]

That's literally how Christopher Columbus found America.

[Roan]

I'm not going to talk for the rest of the po.

[Harry]

No, it's funny. I think finding an artist is such a. Is such a flex. I thought I found an artist one time. Can you look up a guy named Brandon Der. One time I was walking out of a Waffle House house, and I saw this dude sketching on napkins, and I was like, I need a. Like, I need, like, I need one of. One of these. Oh, it was just like, what. He was drawing on the napkin, and he was like, I'm not, like, selling them. And I was like, I just want one of them. Like, I give you 20 bucks for it or something. I didn't know who he was. And he was like, no. And then as I was walking out, he, like, walked up, like, stopped me and, like, handed me a napkin that he had drawn on.

[Roan]

Come on.

[Harry]

And. And then I. He had like a Nike collab. This or something. I think he's, like, blowing up.

[Francis]

It kind of just blew you out of the water, Francis.

[Harry]

That's how you discover he smoked you.

[Francis]

This guy was writing on nap. He was drawing on napkins. When Roan found him, he didn't even have a piece of paper.

[Roan]

Really Similar to how Harry Potter was written. I think you're mistaking BRANDON. Dinner with J.K. rowling. But.

[Harry]

And then he was like. And the. The goblins are going to be Jewish. I was like, oh, that's a good idea, Brandon.

[Roan]

And. But that. The. They, you know, they. They do listen. I'm a sucker for scarcity. Yeah, I. I get. I succumb to scarcity. Scarcity and urgency. Right. As soon as someone tells me, like, by the way, we didn't think, you know, because I had been. I had inquired. I was like, hey, Casey, Bowling. I like this guy. Like, what are the prices? Do you have anything available? And they're like, we don't have anything. He just did a show in la. All of his paintings sold out in a second. In fact, there was a long list. And then for the next show, which is going to be in September. September. He's gonna probably have whatever, five or six paintings. There's a list of a hundred people who are, like, presumably billionaires.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Who are all gonna get one.

[Francis]

They probably don't even go go.

[Roan]

How dare you ask? Right?

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

And you're like, ah, all right, well, so be it. And then out of nowhere, an email comes where it's like, I never thought that we would. We just found this in the studio. Some. Someone who was leaving the country had to sell it back. They can't carry it with the them. I sensed your passion.

[Francis]

Yeah. So they emailed you directly.

[Roan]

Yeah, they text.

[Francis]

Just.

[Roan]

You texted me.

[Francis]

That's crazy.

[Harry]

Is there. Is there any chance that, like, the first email was an art director trying to. Or an art agent trying to drum up interests and then finding out that you're interested and being like, you won't believe it? Like the last one, maybe?

[Roan]

No, but. But no, here's the thing. You can check and see that all the paintings from the show did sell. Hmm. You can see that?

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

And you can see that. You know, there's an app called Artsy that can kind of shows you some of the sales history. So you have a sense. And then you can see if, like, artists are trending upwards. And then she's like, she's. She's given me all the right pitch, you know?

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Roan]

She's like, even if this isn't the painting you necessarily want, like, I worry that if you wait a year, his prices will be out of reach. He's heading in a certain direction. This is a very good investment. Blah, blah, blah. I'm like, oh, God, it's now or never investment. It's no or never.

[Francis]

So what did you do? Did you buy it?

[Roan]

I hemmed and hawed. I went. I went back and forth. I didn't sleep.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

And I finally, on the plane home yesterday, I sent an incredibly apologetic message saying, I cannot do this.

[Francis]

Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm out.

[Roan]

I can't do it.

[Francis]

Yeah. And she was really cool.

[Roan]

She understood. But I'll tell you what, that was the first instance of self restraint that I've had on buying something in since I won the Internet invitation. It has been full blown, like, spray shooting from since that fucking money came in.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Where are you gonna display it? Are you gonna. Are these investments to you? Are they.

[Roan]

No, no, look. No. I don't know anything about art, so I want to buy stuff that I like.

[Francis]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Roan]

I can't. I can't be in the game for the investment purpose of it.

[Harry]

Those. It's a tough game to be in because you're going against the richest and like, they got nothing to do with their money as people that exist. And it's just they're. They're like these Upper west side people who have apartments where they can maybe display six pieces of art, and then they're just rotating the hundred pieces of art that they have. And like. Like it sits in a warehouse. It's like a nasty, like.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Putting the. Yeah. Light under a bushel type story.

[Roan]

I like. You know, I just like what I like. And I don't. I don't necessarily think I have good taste or anything like that, but, you know, this, by the way, again, I understand that $16,000 is an absurd amount of money.

[Francis]

Yeah. I gulped. Yeah.

[Roan]

Gulped when I had that. Right.

[Harry]

But if this is the new o', Keeffe, though.

[Francis]

True. You'll be able to enjoy it for some time.

[Roan]

I will say way that when you are starting to get these emails and you're in these galleries, you're going through and you like. I'm like, I've never heard of this person. You click on it and you scroll down, you're like, oh, I like their work. And then the first one comes up with a price and it's like 1.2 million. Yeah.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Get the out of here.

[Harry]

This isn't good.

[Francis]

Why I was trying to buy.

[Roan]

Why is trying to buy art so expensive?

[Francis]

When I first moved to my apartment that I live in now, I tried to buy. I was trying to buy, and I was like, looking and I was like. I'd be like, oh, this is cool. And then. Yeah. You just be like, oh, okay. That's more money than I've ever had ever.

[Roan]

There is something. Every year, there is something in New York called the Affordable Art Fair.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Where every single piece of art is under 10,000, which, I mean, there's. There's stuff for 400 bucks.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Right. So that is a cool thing to go to. It's. It's. It's well curated.

[Harry]

There's cool, like, some trash in there, though.

[Francis]

My Bob Dylan painting. My Bob Dylan painting I bought for Three Hunted.

[Roan]

That's pretty cool. I know.

[Francis]

Found the guy online.

[Roan]

That's awesome.

[Harry]

What makes the artists art valuable? Is it the demand or the story?

[Roan]

It's like.

[Harry]

Or a combination.

[Roan]

I think it's a combination of skill, marketing, scarcity, timing.

[Harry]

But, like, 50 Cent needed, like, to get shot nine times, and then he started selling his art.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

You know, like, is there something about

[Roan]

the art that's time, timing, timing and story. Right.

[Harry]

So, like, what's the story of, like, an artist that's like, oh, they're doing crazy stuff with or. I just don't like, you know, you.

[Roan]

You hear about someone that was.

[Francis]

I don't think Van Gogh popped off until he cut his ear off.

[Harry]

I thought he didn't pop off till after he was dead.

[Francis]

I think it was right around the same time. I don't think he lived much longer after that year.

[Roan]

You know, if you cut off an ear, he blew bleed out, period.

[Harry]

That's how he died.

[Roan]

That's how he died.

[Francis]

Didn't he shoot himself on accident?

[Roan]

The only way to survive cutting off your ears, you cut the other one off to balance the flow, because otherwise it's all coming out one side.

[Harry]

Yeah. Or you lay on your side like you're doing one of those ear candles to get the wax out. Just keeps the blood inside your head like a jack o' lantern.

[Francis]

I'm pretty sure he shot himself and go.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

I have no idea.

[Harry]

I'm more of a Cezanne guy myself. Cezanne was way more sane.

[Francis]

There's a good movie about van Gogh, and it's all in the style. It's all, like, paintings, the whole movie. It's like, in the style of cool.

[Harry]

It's good. Yeah. That's. Isn't that the one where he's like, boys with Cezanne. Ceson's like, you got to fucking chill, dude. You got to stop fucking cutting your ears off, dude. No one's going to take your art serious. You don't fucking stop this. It was like Jay and Silent Bob.

[Roan]

They had a. They had a cool Van Gogh thing along the water. Remember that?

[Harry]

Yes.

[Roan]

In. I don't know what the fuck that's called. What is that? Part of Two Bridges, that neighborhood of New York. It's like, east of Chinatown.

[Harry]

Is it Seaport?

[Roan]

No, it's. It was north of the seaport, north of the Manhattan Bridge. Then that. In that weird building into which or very near which, that. That boat with all the Mexican sailors crashed. Was that where they were from?

[Francis]

Yeah. Yeah, they were from Mexico.

[Harry]

Yes, they were. They had a Van Gogh exhibit there.

[Roan]

Yeah. Yeah. It was cool. I went.

[Harry]

Was it?

[Roan]

Yeah, they had all kinds of, like, big projections, massive paintings, and funky shit. If you love Van Gogh, you should go to the Frick collection up on the Upper east side.

[Francis]

I'll have to.

[Roan]

It's not overwhelming and annoying as a museum. It's. It's doable.

[Francis]

Yeah. I'm trying to get into more museums.

[Roan]

That one's worth going to.

[Francis]

Yeah, I went to the one in. There's like, A movie museum in Astoria. That's pretty cool.

[Roan]

Should go to the Frick. The Frick's like an all star collection.

[Francis]

Check out the Frick.

[Roan]

They've got Rembrandts and Vermeers.

[Francis]

I'll have to check out the Frick.

[Harry]

That sounds like some shit that was seized from the Nazis or something.

[Roan]

Yeah, it feels like it. And you can do the whole thing in an hour.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Whereas the.

[Francis]

I'll do it.

[Roan]

It's overwhelming. I think the Metropolitan Museum of Art is overwhelming.

[Francis]

Yeah. Fucking the Met.

[Harry]

What about the MoMA, though?

[Francis]

Fuck the MoMA.

[Roan]

Also the MoMA. The MoMA is like that has all

[Harry]

these modern people that you like.

[Roan]

Some of them are cool.

[Francis]

Tell me he didn't just say the MoMA.

[Harry]

I'm more of a Guggenheim than myself.

[Roan]

I don't. I don't want you to say that we're done. Because I'm enjoying our talk.

[Francis]

Oh, no, I'm not. I got. I got plenty more to say.

[Roan]

What makes you buy a jacket like that? Because I love it. And I love that you did. I just don't know what catches your eye.

[Francis]

I got to the airport early. Felt like. Said, I need some new swag. Ain't no way I'm going home empty handed. I didn't get any swag the whole time. Like, I tried to get some swag at the event, but everything was a small by the time we got there.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

It's like, why did. I said. I said. I was like, why do they even have smalls? Like, there's not a single person here that wears a small. Everyone's a double xl. It's insane.

[Harry]

Was there kids there?

[Francis]

No. I feel like I saw kids on the last day, but not really. Really know.

[Harry]

And is it like, are you guys in mixing with all the other games, the gamers?

[Francis]

We were it. This was like. I think the biggest event that was happening was cod.

[Harry]

Got it. But there's other games and they're just around.

[Francis]

There's a lot of other games we got. We like. The last day we walked around, I walked.

[Harry]

There's like a big Jenga thing, right?

[Francis]

Jenga, yeah. Oh, there might have been. I don't know. It's a very big venue.

[Roan]

They were saying that Cops was overfished. And the worry was that it. Because it's what is used for fish and chips, they were gonna have to switch it to a different fish.

[Harry]

Right. What would they switch it to, Angler?

[Roan]

Halibut, maybe? Not halibut.

[Francis]

No.

[Roan]

Haddock?

[Francis]

Yeah, probably.

[Roan]

Or some other kind of Flaky white fish haddock might work.

[Harry]

I think the miso glazed cod at Nobu. Nobu isn't actually cod.

[Roan]

Is that so?

[Harry]

Can we look up what the Miso glaze cod. What fish that actually is. I think I just saw that recently.

[Roan]

The Miso Glazed Cod Invitational featuring Omit.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

And Bush at the.

[Harry]

What was that? What was the. The gaming thing called?

[Francis]

Dream Hack.

[Harry]

Dream Hack.

[Roan]

Dream.

[Harry]

Yeah. Dream Hack.

[Francis]

The next event we're going to is Dreamhack as well.

[Harry]

Sable fish.

[Roan]

Sable stable.

[Harry]

It's Sablefish the wrestler.

[Francis]

The English people are nuts.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

They drank like I've never seen. Yeah, people were like. There was like fights. Oh yeah, there's a fight. And I went to the bathroom and the dude was hiding in one of the stalls and there was security all outside of the bathroom just waiting for him to get out.

[Harry]

They couldn't go in though.

[Francis]

No, they like went in and they saw and they just were. They just stood outside and waited for

[Roan]

him because he was going.

[Francis]

Cuz he was going to have to leave the bathroom eventually and they wanted

[Roan]

to give him private privacy.

[Francis]

They wanted. I think they wanted to arrest him.

[Harry]

No, it's international waters in the bathroom.

[Roan]

Can't arrest somebody.

[Harry]

We don't have jurisdiction.

[Francis]

Well, he's in the stall. So it's like there was the bathrooms. I mean they're the. Grosser than you've ever seen in your life.

[Roan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Harry]

The loo.

[Roan]

The loo.

[Francis]

Yeah. The. Lou.

[Harry]

Did you. Did you have to. You didn't use any British terminology?

[Francis]

None.

[Harry]

Damn.

[Francis]

Except for one. You know, there's a. There's one fun, funny one.

[Harry]

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Francis]

Gotta.

[Harry]

Got to. You gotta spam that.

[Roan]

Damn.

[Francis]

Yeah, there's something on the menu which. I'll just say it. I mean it was called the. It was called the big. It was called the. I took a photo of it. The meaty pork. That's what it was.

[Roan]

Come on.

[Francis]

Swear to God. I took a photo. It really just jumps out the picture. I mean I'm not going to show it to you guys. I'm sure you believe me.

[Roan]

I believe you.

[Harry]

Did you get it?

[Francis]

No, I didn't.

[Harry]

You know that that's not even. They don't actually use for that. It's actually sable fish.

[Francis]

Oh really? Yeah,

[Harry]

it's actually not that at all. Damn. What. What was it? Is that. Is it like bangers and mash type of deal?

[Francis]

I don't know. No one wanted to order it.

[Harry]

Why not?

[Francis]

Cuz it was like scary to say did.

[Roan]

Did this in any Way instill in you a desire to see more of the world or did it make you want to spend more time time at home?

[Francis]

It's just when you're. When you're out of the country like that and you have a bad day, all you're thinking about is like, I gotta get back to America. It's so much better. Yeah. It's not even that. It's just like your home.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

You know, it has nothing to do. It doesn't really have anything to do.

[Roan]

No, I like what you said.

[Harry]

I feel like 15 months ago I was like, we son of a boy. Dad should go to Ireland or something like that. We wouldn't even have to have the obligation of. What?

[Francis]

Oh, we could just go.

[Harry]

We could just go. We could just go. We could.

[Roan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that'd be cool.

[Francis]

We could definitely just.

[Harry]

We could have fish and chips week.

[Francis]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Roan]

What if we went to Machu Picchu, Patagonia? Because then we can do some fishing too.

[Harry]

Where's Machu Picchu? World.

[Roan]

Machu Picchu is in Peru. Yeah.

[Francis]

Oh, is that so?

[Harry]

It's not bad.

[Roan]

No, no, that's. That's not. But we. We could hit him both. We could hit one and then. And then go down.

[Francis]

I don't think that's how that works.

[Harry]

My old lady would kill me if I went to Patagonia.

[Roan]

You can hike from Machu Picchu down to Patagon.

[Francis]

No, I'm sure you can.

[Harry]

It's all connected.

[Roan]

Pretty long way.

[Francis]

Take a long time.

[Roan]

Yeah, let's go to Argentina. Tyler, would you do me a favor and just Google maps how long it would take for us to walk from Machu Picchu to. To Patagonia? I think that the nearest Patagonia so we can get some.

[Harry]

There might be a Patagonia in Machu Picchu.

[Roan]

No, no, no, no. I don't mean that literally. Just two Patagonia. Sorry, sorry.

[Harry]

4,000 kilometers.

[Roan]

We don't have time for that.

[Francis]

Why?

[Roan]

Three to five weeks.

[Francis]

Make like six episodes.

[Roan]

I guess we could. We could probably record while we're walking. Like that movie where you get shot if you stop walking. Did you see Longest Walk or something?

[Harry]

The longest Yard.

[Francis]

Quiet place.

[Roan]

What's that one?

[Francis]

What's the Japanese one? Old squ games. Squid games.

[Harry]

That was a moment.

[Francis]

They shoot you if you stop walking in that.

[Harry]

If you stop watching.

[Francis]

We. I'm trying to think of like, what else happened that was like.

[Roan]

I did a member guest that I performed at a member guest this weekend.

[Francis]

Did you do that last weekend?

[Roan]

Too. I did one in early March and then I did one this weekend.

[Francis]

Yeah. How'd it go?

[Roan]

This one went much better.

[Francis]

Yeah?

[Roan]

Yeah. Well, they really, they really set it up well. They actually put chairs out to orient people towards me and they had, they had let everyone know that I was coming. So I was the entertainment.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Roan]

Whereas in the first one I was kind of like a surprise.

[Francis]

Where was it?

[Roan]

This one was in Florida. It would be. It's where we would go to. To where we're going to go for fish week.

[Francis]

Oh, really?

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Hell yeah.

[Harry]

Which is it? Which is in three weeks.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Yeah. That's great.

[Roan]

Yeah, it was cool that you think

[Harry]

they listened to the episode of your about the last member guests and were like, hey, let's maybe self assess and we. Let's do it right.

[Roan]

It could well be. It could.

[Francis]

Last minute booking.

[Roan]

No, no, I had it booked, but it's my dad's club. And then, and then we played in the tournament together, my dad and me.

[Francis]

Oh, that's fun.

[Roan]

And I was so bad at golf that it was shameful.

[Francis]

Yeah, that's how I feel about everything, dude.

[Roan]

But here's the problem is like I. I don't understand if this problem afflicts other golfers. But we can't play in the northeast from mid October or whatever. November 1st, call it to. To April 1st.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

That's six months. Six months of the year where I don't really pick up a club. Maybe I'll go play one weekend in Florida or some shit. And at the end of October, I was playing the best golf of my entire life. This past year was the best that I've ever been. In the summer. I got down to a two and a half index.

[Francis]

Abe is an eight.

[Roan]

I don't want to hear about Abe anymore.

[Francis]

I'm just saying that guy's the bad apple. No, Abe's a good guy. Great guy.

[Roan]

All right, fine.

[Francis]

You guys should play.

[Roan]

Well, I would.

[Francis]

Abe's a superstar.

[Roan]

Nothing like Darnell.

[Francis]

Darnell Dolor, what's his name?

[Roan]

Dylan.

[Francis]

Byron.

[Roan]

Byron. Byron Leftwich. I like Byron.

[Francis]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Roan]

But here's the thing, right? So this tournament does something that I actually love, which is that for the guests, they take your low handicap index from the last 12 months as a way to prevent people from cheating. Oh, wow. Because coming into tournaments like this, often, often a player will inflate their handicap and run it all the way up so that they come into the tournament and can get strokes off the lower players. And then they are having. They have A huge advantage, it's called. That's sandbagging.

[Francis]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Roan]

That's what. Exactly what that is. And some. Some places will say we're going to take. We're going to. So we're going to cap your index from whatever two months ago, whatever it was then. If you've gone up. Up three strokes since then, you're. We're coming at that. To, to take the low index of the last 12 months is quite severe.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Specifically four people from the Northeast.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Who. They took my index from July.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

When I was training for the Internet Invitational, playing like, you know, practicing four days a week, five days a week. And now I haven't swung a club in four months.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

So the. Our whole flight was stroking off of me. They were all getting strokes off of me.

[Francis]

Pause.

[Roan]

That's where you draw the line.

[Francis]

Pause.

[Roan]

I've been saying how attracted to you I am. The entire.

[Francis]

That's more direct.

[Harry]

You start stroking off a whole flight.

[Francis]

You said everyone was stroking you off.

[Roan]

Beef, beef stroganoff. So anyway, they were getting strokes off of me. There's really no, I guess, no way to say that. Not gay. And they. Because my dad. The other. The other thing. I don't know if any of this is interesting.

[Francis]

No, I'm interested.

[Roan]

The other thing was that my dad. We're bonus time now. Right. So if you're still listening and you're mad at the way that this is going now, go outside. But my. My dad is like a 15 index. And because I was two and a half, they had this other rule, which was that no partners can be more than a 10 stroke differential. So they brought my dad down.

[Francis]

Oh, okay. Because bringing you. Why don't you bring you to five?

[Harry]

Because then if somebody was like, if there was a it. It benefits only you guys and hurts everybody else.

[Francis]

Yes, I see.

[Roan]

Which meant that not only. Not only was I playing an insanely low handicap, but I'm nowhere near. But my dad was also having to play a lower handicap than he should have been. And he's been playing. And that's his honest handicap. He's a 15. So we were in this flight kind of in the middle of the field. Right. Where it's combined indexes of the two teams. So, you know, if we were fucking 14 or 15 together, you know, most of the guys were sevens and eights.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Or a guy's a seven and an eight or a six and a nine on a team. Whatever. And me playing off two and a half against a six index, who is actually A six.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Right now.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

And is getting three to four strokes on me. Those guys were obliterating me.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Roan]

Killing. I mean, they're paring everything.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

And I have to birdie holes just to tie them.

[Francis]

Yeah. That's ridiculous.

[Harry]

Were you explaining it to them during it?

[Roan]

Well, I got. These guys were really cool and I just. I mean, most of them, a lot of them did know who I was, so I wanted to be like, listen, just. I want to make it clear, like,

[Harry]

I don't suck ass. Like this.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

No, not even that. Like, this is my. This is not a vanity handicap. This is where I was at in July.

[Francis]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Roan]

And I haven't played in four months and everyone got that. But. But also, people aren't mad at me. They're thrilled because they're getting.

[Francis]

Yeah. Cuz they're smoking you.

[Roan]

They can kill me.

[Francis]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Harry]

Getting a laugh out of it too. They're like, we get to play with Francis. Laugh the entire time, drink with him, and we get to beat the dummy him.

[Roan]

I mean, they were. Dude, they like. I. I was. I was hitting irons off tees, on par fours just to try to play the hole and snap hooking them into the woods. I had a whole. I had a box of balls.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

I lost.

[Francis]

That's the worst.

[Roan]

We played five, nine hole matches. I. I lost 26 golf balls. Over. Over. Whatever.

[Francis]

That's the worst.

[Roan]

54 holes.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

And the. My dad, though, played exceptionally well.

[Francis]

Really?

[Roan]

45 holes. My dad played really, really well, which is what ke. We actually finished second in our flight. But the team that won our flight was way, way ahead of everyone. Yeah, but the show went well. It was fun.

[Harry]

That's awesome. How pissed were you when you were, like, relative to how pissed you got about, like the content you were talking about earlier. How pissed were you about losing in golf? Or was it just like, this is funny?

[Roan]

Not at all. I wasn't really bummed. I mean, you know, I just sucked. I was annoyed with myself for sucking. But like, I know why I suck. And I know that by June or July I'll be back to being good again.

[Francis]

Yeah, it'll probably come back faster.

[Roan]

But here's what I don't understand. I don't understand if everyone in the Northeast is afflicted by this problem. Like, I'm truly seven or eight strokes worse on my index now than I.

[Francis]

But if you played for like three or four days in a row.

[Roan]

I don't know, man. I just did play for three days in a row. A row and it didn't last day.

[Francis]

You weren't better at.

[Roan]

It was worse at the end.

[Francis]

Yeah, that can happen.

[Harry]

I feel like most dudes who are like a two or a three, golf is their only hobby. So they derive their identity from playing golf even through the winter. Because they're like, I got to keep my low and you're doing other things. You're on the road for things that aren't even golf.

[Roan]

Dude. It, it, it's truly the case that like I put the club in the basement and I don't, I don't touch a golf club.

[Francis]

You got to get a sense for

[Harry]

months instead of a painting. Next time just buy a SIM for one of your walls.

[Roan]

But it's like why, why is this a sport that I have to start from scratch at the beginning of the season again? Why have to relearn it?

[Francis]

It's because it's such a fine tuned sport.

[Roan]

I have a, I have a different theory. I have a different theory.

[Francis]

What is it?

[Roan]

So one of my. Dustin, our buddy. Yeah, yeah, of course Dustin is, is plus one played at Notre Dame. He doesn't play in the winter. Really?

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

When he comes back in the spring. Yeah, he's a little rusty, but he

[Harry]

ain't a tire, mom.

[Roan]

He gets back pretty quick. It's because he grew up playing.

[Harry]

Yeah, yeah.

[Roan]

So he had it from a young, as a kid. He was playing and he was very good as a kid. Tennis. I grew up playing tennis. I don't play tennis that frequently. When I get back on the court, I'm just as good as I was the last time I played four months ago.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

And I think, think that's because I played it as a kid my whole life. So all that muscle memory is ingrained in me. Whereas golf, I learned after college. I kind of got into the sport when I was like 24, 25.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah. You just haven't been doing it long enough to, to, to keep that muscle memory.

[Roan]

Like I don't think I'm ever going to get there.

[Francis]

You will.

[Roan]

I think I need to move somewhere warm so I can play year round.

[Francis]

No, I think you got to get a sim.

[Roan]

I think that this is the end of my time in New York or

[Francis]

if you just move to. You could just move to Chicago.

[Roan]

I don't like playing on a sim. Sim. Chicago's even worse. What are you talking about?

[Francis]

They have the sim at the office. That's a great sim.

[Roan]

I need to be outside. I like the birds.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Harry]

So like Kia or like how far south?

[Roan]

I think if I could move anywhere, I'd move to California.

[Francis]

What was with that text that you sent us the other day?

[Roan]

I don't know what you're talking about.

[Francis]

The one where you were like, I know we're all keen on staying in New York and I really think we should. I was like, what? I was like, I wasn't planning on moving.

[Harry]

Yeah, that's what he said. We're keen on it.

[Roan]

That's what I was saying.

[Francis]

It seemed like you were like, reassuring yourself on like, we're not moving.

[Roan]

Sometimes I send messages to our group chat where I don't. I don't even know that I'm sending.

[Francis]

I was so confused. He was like, you were trying to talk me and Ron down from moving. And I was like, I didn't think we were moving.

[Roan]

Well, you guys are often like, you

[Harry]

know, like, we should get to Machu Picchu. We need to go to.

[Francis]

I feel like I've always been on the Peru stay in New York.

[Harry]

Yeah, well, that's what he said.

[Roan]

I'm like, hey, I know you guys are always on this stance and here's another reason. Yeah, Yeah, I think it's a good idea.

[Francis]

No, it was good.

[Roan]

My reason was that I, we. We get really good guests for the pod because we're in New York.

[Francis]

Yeah, definitely.

[Roan]

I don't know why you brought that up. That was a weird thing because now

[Francis]

you're talking about moving to Kuwait or some shit. I don't even know where.

[Roan]

You said California.

[Francis]

Cali. Yeah, that's.

[Harry]

Where's that? The Middle East.

[Francis]

That's all.

[Harry]

I mean, where is that by. By Yemen.

[Roan]

I'm kidding. None of this is real. Also, also I spent also playing with my. Oh, my God. My kn. My niece and nephew. And like, I broke barriers with them.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Which I kind of felt bad about.

[Francis]

Why?

[Roan]

Well, because my brother in law, their dad is deployed. Oh.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

And it's like, should I have let him be the one? Like, I taught my niece how to body surf.

[Francis]

I'm sure he'll be fine with that.

[Roan]

He was, he was grateful.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

But like, I don't want him to come back from where he is and find that his daughter's now like fluent in Spanish backflips. And it's like playing wall ball with a little cross. And he's like, who the fuck taught you this? Uncle Francis. Yeah. He's got one handicap.

[Harry]

And you don't ever hear that story. You hear the story of like the

[Roan]

Jeff from next door.

[Harry]

Yeah, exactly. Where it's just the woman. Yeah, the woman. Like bang some guy. You don't hear that, like at a. Another.

[Francis]

It's probably best case scenario that it's Uncle Francis.

[Roan]

Probably. Okay. Last thing. My nephew Theo, you know, he's reserved.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Sorry. Theo Von. Nice. Nice.

[Francis]

Just good riff.

[Roan]

It was a good riff. I. I didn't hear it.

[Francis]

Not really bad. Pretty bad riff.

[Roan]

Really bad riff.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

But I'm gonna rescue it because Theo was. I was in the ocean with him and he's quite reserved, so he's shy and. And again, I'm like trying to bond with. With these awesome kids. And finally I got. We invented this game where I would jump the waves. And the waves were coming in. It was kind of. Kind of rough. And as the waves were coming in, I would pretend that the waves were like throwing them up in the air. And so each. With each wave, I would just pick them up and throw them up. And he's got away like 45 pounds.

[Harry]

Like less than a kettlebell.

[Francis]

That's.

[Roan]

Dude, I was not thinking. Thinking about what I was doing.

[Francis]

Would you send too high?

[Roan]

No. I had so much back pain from playing this game with my nephew for three nights.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

I was waking up in the middle of the night because I was. When I took a deep breath. Oh, it. I'd wake up in pain.

[Francis]

Jesus.

[Harry]

What? That explains that. The 10 handicap, though.

[Francis]

Yeah. That's probably why you.

[Harry]

That's probably what it is.

[Roan]

If I had. If I had. If I had thought about what I was doing and had treated him truly as a kettlebell. Kettlebell. I would have leaned into having older form.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

And I would have been totally fine.

[Francis]

It sounds like you were going all arms.

[Roan]

I was.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

And I was just so caught up in the glee of playing with this child that I let the form go to hell.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

So did you fly past? Did you fly back? Did you run into any, like, ice on the flight back?

[Roan]

Oh, great question. Own. Yes.

[Francis]

Like the ice agents, bro.

[Roan]

Fort Myers Airport, Florida.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

The guys that were pushing the bags through the T, like on through the X ray were ice agents.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

And they were wearing, you know, the bra. It was brown.

[Francis]

Yeah. They were at laguardia when I flew out.

[Roan]

They had. They had bulletproof vests on.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

But then they were wearing like jeans.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Pumas. And like, they had that. The random dudes. Mohawk.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Haircut, neck tats.

[Francis]

Yeah. It's not a good crew.

[Roan]

I don't think those guys are. I don't think those guys are.

[Harry]

It's all the Unemployed dudes. It was just the unemployed guys. It was just the guys who, like, they. Who are up for a job right now. Like, oh, there's.

[Roan]

These guys are working in airports now.

[Francis]

Well, it's like, if they're going to do it, like, you may as well just get anyone back there. Yeah, they're not for that.

[Harry]

Yeah, but that's. I think that's the rest of airport security. I don't. I wouldn't be like, oh, yeah.

[Francis]

I think it's like an intelligent intimidation thing.

[Roan]

It's like the replacement ref moment in the NFL.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Where everyone was like, I never realized how important actual TSA people were until these like, high school refs and dads

[Francis]

came in that, like, have guns for some reason.

[Roan]

Packers are winning on Hail Marys or whatever that play was. Or they lost.

[Harry]

Right. There was something in the back of the end zone.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Changed the call.

[Roan]

It was ridiculous.

[Francis]

Bomb.

[Harry]

It's not a bomb.

[Roan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Francis]

It's weird when they're walking around just with like, when I saw them when they were at LaGuardia, they weren't even doing that. They were just standing there just like looking at the ground, like. Because they're clearly like, they're obviously self conscious to the fact that what their job is.

[Roan]

What do you mean?

[Francis]

They don't make eye contact with anyone.

[Harry]

And they're hate. They're hated now. They probably. A lot of them probably signed up and they're like, yeah, let me get this fucking job. And now there's like, protests, like, people going up to you, being like, you fucking lose your pig.

[Roan]

I thought these guys were stoked.

[Francis]

I don't think the guys in New York have like. I think they're probably, like, ashamed of their job.

[Roan]

Maybe in New York. I'm sure in Florida they're like, gonna be like, did you see they screamed

[Harry]

at Elio in the.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

The Mr. Ice sweatshirt on, and someone came up to him and cursed him out. No, a woman. Just like a civilian woman. I think just like, civilian, like, mind moms are just like going up to dudes who have, like bulletproof vests on, being like, you scumbag.

[Roan]

That's not happening in Texas and it's not really happening in Florida either.

[Francis]

It's definitely not happening in Florida. I mean, I don't know. Those guys suck. They're bombs.

[Harry]

I get a real job. Work. Yeah.

[Roan]

What are they doing when they're not doing that?

[Francis]

They don't have job. They're literally like Internet, like basement dwellers.

[Roan]

No, but they're all jacked and no,

[Francis]

they were in the beginning. The beginning. Have you seen like the photos of the dudes at like LaGuardia?

[Roan]

These guys, these guys at Fort Myers were pretty bubbly.

[Francis]

It's just dudes that are like, I wish I went to the military when I was 20. So now I'm gonna join ICE and like kill immigrants and then like put them in cages and them. Yeah, it's not, it's bad. It's literally like. It's like an intimidation thing. Like they're just standing there just to like make everyone uncomfortable.

[Roan]

Yeah, I was, I was nervous.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

At the, at the airport you were nervous.

[Roan]

I was nervous.

[Harry]

Was just seeing they're not.

[Francis]

I mean I' because they're not real

[Roan]

four year old Chilean boy in my back. Yeah, I can't remember.

[Francis]

Well, they're also just not like. It's not like seeing a cop at the airport.

[Roan]

No, exactly that.

[Francis]

They're not real police. They're not real like they're not trained. They just sign up and now they have a gun in the airport. Like you're like, you're just, you're looking at the dude and you're like, why do you have a fucking gun?

[Harry]

Well also they, they can arrest you without probable cost and then just throw

[Francis]

you in a van and drive you off somewhere.

[Harry]

That like the constitutional protection protections don't, don't apply to them because of like a DOJ memo.

[Roan]

What's, what's the other side of this argument?

[Francis]

I don't think there is.

[Harry]

It's that, it's that there was that there's like the rapists and murderers are in the country and like they're getting a free ride on like tax the American taxpayer dollar. But they're like like if you're here illegally you should self deport and if you haven't done that then you are breaking the law. And these are the people who are.

[Francis]

Okay, but they're not. But the thing is like they've like arrested like barely any. Like they're mostly arresting just dudes that are like working on like a roof.

[Roan]

I guess my question more was like what's literally.

[Francis]

Have you seen that? You see that video? There's dudes working on a roof and the ICE agents are just like surround the woman.

[Harry]

No, but the woman waited until they finished the job.

[Roan]

Yeah, guy needs to be bathroom not on the roof.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Wait, but this is where I get confused. My question on that meant was more like is the argument though that these guys are. There are people who believe they're doing a Good job. Job.

[Francis]

I think there's not that many for sure.

[Roan]

Or are there. Are there people who are like, I wish they were a little more trained and put together, but we got what we got and the job needs to be done. Is that the counter argument?

[Francis]

I guess. But I think the, like, I think people are pretty much like in agreement that it's not. Well, first of all, they're not police officers and they're not the military. So it's like kind of like a weird gray area of like, these are just.

[Harry]

We're sending the Coast Guard into fucking.

[Francis]

I mean, the Coast Guard would even be like. Yeah, like at least they have to like go to school.

[Roan]

They're military.

[Francis]

Yeah. Like these guys are just random Coast Guard then. Yeah, these are just random dudes.

[Harry]

It was probably like National Guard guys then.

[Roan]

I don't think there was dudes walking around. I think these are guys that worked at like Dave and Buster, literally. And then we're. And we're like lifting a lot, bro.

[Francis]

There's dudes walking. Like, you said it, you said they really. They have like Jordans on.

[Roan]

Yeah, they have. Yeah, exactly.

[Francis]

They're wearing like jean, like North Face.

[Roan]

Like there's no.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

There's no uniformity to their.

[Harry]

I bet. No, I bet that there's like a lot of military guys.

[Roan]

I don't think so.

[Francis]

Why do we. I don't think ex military guys would want to do that.

[Roan]

It's all.

[Francis]

It's like you're going to be with a bunch of dudes that are like playing dress up.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

It's like going from the Lakers to the Harlem Globetrotters.

[Francis]

Yeah. It's like playing in the NBA and then playing in Israel or Greece.

[Roan]

All right, all right.

[Harry]

Oh, my God.

[Roan]

Excellent. Excellent button to the episode. Wow, what an episode. People are going to be talking about it. I still got some new tallies to eat.

[Harry]

I can't believe those old Nutellas are still in there.

[Francis]

All right, should we wrap it up? Dripping sweat right now? Why? Just haven't slept.

[Harry]

I thought you had eight hours on the plate.

[Francis]

You just got eight hours my time.

[Harry]

Yeah, but you just had an eight hour nap.

[Francis]

I haven't eaten anything since literally like 15 hours ago.

[Harry]

What was United serving on the flight?

[Francis]

I didn't, I don't, I didn't eat it.

[Harry]

You sat in first class and didn't get the.

[Francis]

Denied it both ways.

[Harry]

That's insane.

[Francis]

I said I'm going to bed. I don't want your rocket fuel food.

[Roan]

Most expensive nap you ever took.

[Francis]

Yeah, Worth it though. It actually wasn't very expensive at all.

[Harry]

Yeah, it was like a sixteenth of a painting.

[Francis]

Not even.

[Roan]

I don't believe for one second you had a round trip flight to, you know, on United to London for less than $1,000.

[Francis]

It was like 850.

[Roan]

But you did miles and dollars.

[Francis]

Yeah, like the upgrade. Because the bar stool pays the flat rate for getting there. Like in economy.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And. And then I just paid for the

[Roan]

upgrade and that was 850 each way.

[Francis]

No, combined.

[Roan]

You got a. You got an upgrade.

[Francis]

You. I finessed the system. They're going to rebuild the United States by miles. Yes.

[Roan]

So you paid with miles.

[Francis]

I paid with half. It was like. It was like get the miles plus $300.

[Roan]

How many miles? Miles?

[Francis]

I don't remember.

[Roan]

So that's.

[Francis]

No, you. I know. You think that I got on the miles.

[Roan]

No, I'm not saying you got. But I'm not saying. I'm saying it's. You can't say it's $850 if you, if you paid for miles.

[Francis]

Realistically. Let me think. So 600 both ways on the 300 alone. Yeah. It's probably like 1200.

[Roan]

I would need to see the miles. How many miles you spent?

[Francis]

20,000. 20.

[Roan]

20,000. That's $2,000.

[Francis]

No, no, no, not even close.

[Roan]

Is it not?

[Francis]

No, dude, $2,000 is like 200, 000 miles.

[Roan]

Oh, you're right. Excuse me? You're right.

[Francis]

Oh, I got re. I got. I got into the weed.

[Roan]

20,000 miles. It was. It really. Only there's no. I. Okay. I don't believe you'd have to show me that.

[Francis]

I will.

[Roan]

I don't believe that. It was $300 plus 20,000 to upgrade

[Francis]

from the original base seat to the bed.

[Roan]

20,000 miles is just.

[Francis]

Dude, this is what I was telling you last week. Fin nest the system. It was $3,000 to upgrade one way. I wondered about this right on the bottom.

[Roan]

It was like never that easy.

[Francis]

I know.

[Harry]

You also said that there were 17 of the hijackers were from Saudi Arabia.

[Francis]

I did say that.

[Roan]

I need to see these. I need to see the flight receipt for this.

[Francis]

I'll show it to you.

[Roan]

I need to see the flight receipt.

[Francis]

But what I will say is I got into it with Delta big time yesterday. Bad.

[Roan]

Why I.

[Francis]

So originally I was supposed to get back at 7:30 tonight. And then we decided like, we were like. I talked to you guys last week and we were like, we're gonna record on Monday. So I was like, I'll move my flight. Obviously I have something wrong with me. I'm dumb. And I didn't move my flight until, like, two days before we were supposed to leave. And there was, like, no options. So I was like, all right, I'm gonna go. Delta. Used all of my miles on Delta. Booked a flight for. For noon. And then I didn't get the bed. I just got a regular seat. And I was like, I'm going to upgrade to the bed. And then I went to upgrade to the bed, and they were like. I was like. They were like, it's going to be this amount of miles. And I was like, well, what about if I just use cash? And they were like, no, you can't. You have to use miles. And I was like, why? And they were like, because you paid for it in miles. And I was like, yeah, but, like, now I'm just saying, like, I'll just use money to pay the rest of the way. I was like, just. Just, like, literally just name the price, like, I'm willing to pay. And the dude was like, well, we can't accept it. And I was like, all right, that's fine. And I was like, well, then I'm probably going to go back to my United flight because they're still accepting money. I was like. I said, yeah. I said, they're still accepting cash as a legal tender.

[Roan]

Yeah, I understand why you can still

[Francis]

pay with money over at United. And they. They kept on being like, I'm so sorry for the confusion. And I kept on being like, I'm not confused at all. I was like, I'm offering to use money, and you're saying, no. Like, there's no confusion.

[Harry]

My money's no good here.

[Francis]

Yeah. I was like, you don't want money.

[Roan]

I. I think that your original flight was priced in miles, and you. The. The price in miles, if you have the reserve card, is very different.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I got it.

[Roan]

I understood the TO then switching currency.

[Francis]

Yeah, they just weren't. Yeah, they weren't accepting the currency that matters the most, which is cash.

[Harry]

Yeah, no cash. They don't have king.

[Francis]

And then they were trying to get me to do what you were saying not to do, Francis. They. They were like, you can buy miles. And I said, I'm not buying miles,

[Roan]

so you won't do it with Delta?

[Francis]

Well, there's a difference because I had the, like. Like the United thing. It was cheaper if I bought miles.

[Roan]

Uhhuh.

[Francis]

The. This would have been more expensive if I bought miles, so I can't. This was the first time I've ever been in one of those like chats with the Delta people where they don't end it at all. Like, they never ended it. Like the dude just disconnected because we were clearly never going to get.

[Harry]

You're at an impasse.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

You were also probably arguing with robot.

[Francis]

I said, I was like, are you, I said, are you a real person or is this AI? And he said, I'm a real person. And I said, I don't believe you.

[Roan]

What's your mom's name?

[Francis]

And then I went over to United and I switched my flight. No problem, no charge. Kept my upgrade.

[Roan]

Listen, I'm so happy that you are a United man.

[Francis]

No, I, I will say though, I went to the United Lounge at LaGuardia Dog Food. I've never seen a food selection like that in my life. It was, it was insane.

[Harry]

I don't know how you're bitching like this is. You said that you're a United man now.

[Francis]

No, I'm still a Delta guy.

[Roan]

I, I, I realize we don't want you.

[Francis]

I realize that the grass is not always green.

[Roan]

You're cussing out our, our best people.

[Francis]

You know what it is though? It's because I'm not Diamond anymore.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Well, you don't get that same treat like they're treating me like I've never.

[Harry]

It's a different phone number.

[Roan]

Yeah, it is something I, and I mean this sincerely, the Delta customer. Customer service is some of the best customer service.

[Francis]

If you're Diamond. If you're diamond, maybe. But the thing that I like about United, they don't care what your status is. They're going to get the job done.

[Roan]

Oh yeah.

[Francis]

Yeah. They're going to take care of you like you're a Diamond.

[Roan]

You are, you are begging for a moment where some crummy United employee.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Is going to have an experience with you and you are just going to immediately recant everything.

[Francis]

I gave them 10 out of 10 on the survey. I said thank you so much.

[Roan]

A better Delta is just out of five.

[Francis]

Yeah. Cuz that's the max they can get is five stars.

[Roan]

I don't think we, they don't care so much about being the Delta.

[Francis]

They shouldn't even be allowed to get one star. Thugs.

[Roan]

Oh my God.

[Harry]

You're fighting with a computer program. You were fighting with Claude and you're pissed off. It's a skill problem.

[Roan]

I'm going to call Delta and put you on a watch list.

[Francis]

Good.

[Roan]

Make this guy wait longer.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

I hope you do ruin his flight. Flights.

[Francis]

Those flights, those long flights are terrible today. Yeah, it's just like. It's just hell.

[Roan]

You slept the whole time.

[Francis]

I know, but even when, like, you're,

[Roan]

ah, you had a first class flight, sweating, and you slept the entire time.

[Francis]

And then, like, the whole way back, I'm just thinking about eighth place. I'm like, I can't believe we got eighth.

[Harry]

Like, m almost died and you're worried about eighth place.

[Francis]

All right, we're ending in the show. Podcast is over.

[Harry]

Don't we? We actually have to talk about fish week. Should we do that? We'll do that right now.

[Francis]

Yeah. All right. Thank you guys for listening. We will be back on Thursday.