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Francis
Hey. Son of a boy. Dad. Listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.
Harry
The new era of UFC on Paramount continues. Live from Australia, Featherweight champ Alexander Volkanovski.
Roan
He is an animal.
Francis
Defends his belt at home in an explosive rematch against Diego Lopez.
Roan
You gotta be Kenny Evil.
Harry
And the always dangerous Dan Hooker throws down with powerhouse Ben Wa in a high action lightweight showdown.
Roan
There's never been anything like this.
Harry
UFC 325, Saturday, January 31, only on Paramount. Plus, TaxAct understands you haven't memorized the tax code.
Francis
That's why Tax act has live experts to help. TaxAct can even do it for you if you prefer.
Harry
It's the easiest way to know you're doing it right.
Roan
Well, other than going back to college.
Harry
And obtaining a bachelor's degree in accounting.
Francis
With a minor in finance, then interning somewhere and becoming fluent in all tax forms, but that might be hard to accomplish before tax day, so maybe just stick with TaxAct. TaxAct.
Harry
Let's get them over with. Yeah, it's gonna be bad in Cleveland. Out on the course, they're the PGA Tour's best players, but in the arena, they're prime time. And season two of TGL, presented by.
Roan
SoFi, is back with lights, cameras, action.
Harry
We're talking big moments, big personalities, big names in the stands, all on the big screen.
Roan
Big time matchups with shot clocks, Hammer.
Harry
Drops, timeouts, overtime, and playoff. It's city versus city, squad versus squad.
Roan
This sport just hits different under the lights. It's TGL, presented by SoFi. Keep up. It's golf.
Harry
Tune in to every match only on espn.
Francis
I think it's already there.
Harry
I mean, it's gonna be bad everywhere.
Francis
They said trees are gonna explode.
Harry
Yeah. In the Midwest, exploding.
Roan
Do you guys. Do you guys remember? You don't, but Ice Storm 98. Do you remember that?
Harry
That's what my mom said that. I talked to my mom and she was like, they're going to be calling it the Blizzard of 26.
Roan
Yeah, dude, we, we, like in Maine in 1998.
Harry
Yeah.
Roan
We lost power for two weeks.
Harry
Yeah. Yeah. It's fucking insane.
Roan
My family, we. And I'm not making this up. We slept in front of the fire.
Harry
Yeah.
Roan
On the floor. As a family, we know heat.
Harry
Yeah.
Roan
And you couldn't drive because the roads were covered in ice and the. And the trees were so laden with ice, they were exploding. Branches just kept dropping on. That was why power never came back. It's like every tree Fell on every power line over and over and over.
Francis
I know. You guys are probably, like, singing songs, though.
Roan
Well, we. We, dude. I mean, as a kid, it was kind of fun.
Harry
Yeah.
Roan
The first week, we filled our bathtub with water to, like, drink.
Harry
Yeah.
Roan
To pee into in case we, like, our pipes burst or something like that. I don't know that they ever did. And then, like a week and a half into it, my uncle drove up from Boston with a generator that he'd bought for us.
Harry
Oh, nice.
Roan
And we then had, like, very limited power.
Harry
Yeah.
Francis
There's. For two weeks, there's people who are, like, on, like, Twitter. Tick tock. And just being like, if you're in Texas, be prepared to be without power for a month.
Harry
Yeah.
Roan
Can't handle it.
Harry
I was looking at it over the weekend or no. Or maybe. No, definitely not over the weekend. I was looking at. Well, I keep forgetting it's Friday. I was looking at it this week and I was tracking it, and then I brought it up to, like, Mook and Jerry because we're supposed to go to Dallas. And they were like. They were like, what are you talking about? And I was like, have you guys not been online? It's everywhere. It's all anyone's talking about.
Francis
That blue purple blob is taking over the Internet.
Harry
It's all the storm.
Roan
Yeah. Are we ready?
Francis
I feel like we gotta just keep that in.
Roan
Yeah, for sure.
Francis
Or maybe that was garbage.
Harry
Oh, no, I'm fine. I don't got a lot in the tank today. We might want to just slow that down, honestly.
Roan
So wait, trees actually explode?
Harry
Just the whole episode? Is that conversation chopped and screwed? All right, we can. I guess we can keep it in. All right. Welcome back to the Son of a Boy dad podcast. Today it is January 23rd. I believe this one's coming out a little. This one's a little pre record because the big uncertainties approaching.
Francis
Right. We want to make sure we were in the stew with one another. It's my boy Mike's birthday. Shout out to my.
Harry
Shout out to Mike. Which one?
Francis
The steam fitter who I used to live with.
Harry
Nice.
Roan
Yeah. Yeah.
Francis
He's rock solid.
Harry
It's good to know.
Francis
And we're also going to our first first off camera show dinner in quite some time.
Roan
Look at that.
Harry
Off camera, off camera show dinner.
Roan
Off camera show dinner. Yeah.
Harry
Yeah, that is true.
Roan
I'm very excited about that.
Harry
Damn, I'm pumped.
Roan
We. We had a funny thing happen where Jerry and Rico. Ron, I didn't know this, but Roan told Me that they are the guys to help secure reservations.
Harry
I think they're the guys to secure most things.
Francis
Yeah.
Harry
Jerry's got a guy for everything.
Francis
Rico has a guy at MSG that will tell you the exact minute that every show starts. Oh, yeah. Not like when the doors open, when the show actually starts.
Roan
Yeah.
Francis
That's so useful.
Roan
Niche. Yeah.
Francis
But they both have reservation. They're reservation guys.
Roan
Yeah, big time.
Francis
So what'd you ask for?
Roan
Well, so how do you even approach that?
Harry
Do you just say, like, whatever you got?
Roan
I got a group chat with those two.
Harry
Oh, nice.
Roan
It's pretty good.
Harry
Yeah, we've been.
Roan
We've been at it for a while, I'm sure. And you know what I love about it is that they are both very responsive, because I am now almost like, compulsively impulsive. Compulsively responsive. And you guys, the more that I've gotten talkative, the less you guys have responded. Don't let me in, dude. You have become a ghost. Our group chat, I would say it's 90% me, 5% you. Really 8% you, 5% him.
Harry
I would say rounds less than me.
Roan
If you were to go back and go through it, man, it would be embarrassing.
Francis
Why put everything in bcc? I just go right to BCC with everything.
Roan
Our group chat is. Is nothing of what it once was.
Francis
Hold me accountable, then let me step the fuck up.
Roan
I ask you guys, I'll, like, have four texts that end with a question for you both. And then a day will go by and I'll be like, that's never getting answered. I'm just going to start a new trend, a new thought so that I don't leave myself hanging.
Harry
I feel like yesterday I was bump.
Roan
That out of the window so that I'm not embarrassed that I asked a question.
Harry
Some of the questions, I'm like, I'm going to leave this to run. Like, I think Roan's got it. And then he doesn't even reply correct. And then I'm like, what kind of questions?
Francis
I feel like sometimes you'll throw an update and be like, we have a 515 reservation. And I'm like, I should thumbs up that.
Harry
No, hit it with an emphasize.
Roan
Often I'll. I'll say, what? Like, what time are we record? Like, how does it. How do you guys feel about us recording at this time? Or like, in a week, I have to do this. Like, whatever. No response. And then Owen will ask in the Boy dad chat, what time tomorrow? And I'll just be like, 3pm and.
Harry
Then I'll read that and I'll be like, all right, looks like we decided on that.
Roan
Well, I don't have a choice. I tried you guys, and nobody got back to me.
Francis
This is eye opening for me to hear this about myself.
Roan
Used to be really good. But you, I will say to your credit, if I call you, you pick up.
Francis
This is just harrowing information to find out about myself.
Roan
Twins. You have so much. No, I forgiven.
Francis
No, it's all. I mean, if Jerry has. Jerry has kids. Rico has little Gerard.
Roan
They're amazing.
Francis
They both have kids, and they're amazing answers.
Roan
Harry screens my phone calls. No, I'll call him, he'll screen it, and then I'll be like, what's up? I'm inside. What's up, man? I have perfect service. Can't talk.
Francis
I can't talk right now.
Roan
Sorry, man. The acoustics are too good in this room. I have complete silence and half an hour free time. What do you want? What can I do for you? Why can't this be done over text?
Harry
I do do that. I'm not. I will say I am. I definitely am someone. If I'm in an Uber, I don't. I don't answer the phone. And people don't like that.
Francis
Crazy.
Harry
Yeah, people don't like it.
Francis
What the fuck do you think? The. The driver's on the phone.
Harry
Yeah, I know. Then it becomes. It's overwhelming, you know? Phone calls, four conversations happening at the.
Roan
Same time, quietly, in a language we don't know.
Francis
They're also watching YouTube.
Roan
It's total.
Harry
That's crazy.
Roan
When someone is speaking Bangladeshi, you have total privacy.
Harry
But they know English, too. They know it all. And then they'll randomly chime in.
Roan
They're teaching a fucking comp Sci class. Phone to someone. They're not focusing on what we're saying.
Harry
Yeah, that's true.
Francis
My guy this morning was just scrolling YouTube for, like, shoulder pain videos. Just the entire time.
Roan
Just.
Francis
Just so locked in on shoulder pain videos.
Harry
It always makes me a little uncomfortable when they're hitting a scroll mid drive.
Roan
Me too.
Harry
Like, they're, like, on, like. Yeah, YouTube.
Francis
YouTube. A lot of YouTube.
Harry
I've seen them on Twitch, scrolling between live streams, commenting.
Roan
Yeah, do you mind valuing both of our lives?
Francis
So you called Jerry?
Roan
Well, I texted you. I texted. I think you told me because I said, what if we went to Carbone? You're like, rico's the guy for Carbone.
Francis
Well, Jerry's been my guy for Carbon.
Roan
Oh, then maybe you said both of.
Francis
Them Jerry got me Carbone and I bought him some Louis Vuitton cologne as a quid pro quo.
Harry
Why didn't you just get the. That feels like that's more expensive than it was.
Francis
More expensive. It was more. But I mean, the reservation, there's not a value you can get on it. It's like if I wanted to Louis or Carbone this certain night. So I got him Lamb and seat.
Harry
So what is it, like, impossible to.
Roan
Get in when someone does you a favor like that, if you do something nice for them right. Right back as a thank you, they are more likely to do that favor again going forward. Roan effectively, like, locked in that car. Favor stream.
Harry
Yeah.
Francis
Yes. I could get Carbone from Jerry whenever I wanted, I'm pretty sure, except for this short notice. But I feel like Rico and Jerry are going to the show tonight, too.
Roan
Or Rico's going to.
Francis
So he used the best reservations on himself.
Roan
Well, it wasn't entirely his fault. He tried on Carbone, and Carbone was fully closed for a private event. And they show. He showed me the email receipt. This is what I love about rico. He is not only does he respond, but he'll give you everything that happened. He's an evidence context.
Harry
Yeah, he wants that. He wants evidence. He wants you to have it.
Roan
I love it. Yeah.
Harry
He's not into the gotcha culture.
Roan
Yeah.
Harry
Which I appreciate.
Francis
He deals with information. He deals in information. Like, he was, like, saying he was offering, like, stuff to Chris o' Connor when Chris o' Connor came to town.
Roan
I know.
Francis
Just as, like, to be able to, like, maybe be ahead on a favor in case he needs a favor at some other point, which is smart. Like, just sinking a favor into someone. And that's why you always have to hit him right back with the cologne.
Roan
Right. It was like when. When. What was it? That thing that happened in the Diddy doc where they were talking about how someone, like, came to town and didn't let them know they were coming and it offended.
Francis
Check in. Yes. Yeah, the check.
Roan
Oh, no, that wasn't. That wasn't the Diddy doc. That was a clip I saw about da baby or young baby, little baby, like, showed up in Memphis. And these they get.
Harry
Might have been, duh.
Roan
Oh, geez. Came up on the house. He was staying.
Harry
Yeah.
Roan
And they were like, you should have let us know you were coming.
Harry
Yeah.
Roan
And he's on the porch and he's trying to diffuse it.
Francis
I've seen that clip.
Roan
You know what I'm talking.
Francis
When he does turn up, though, he.
Roan
Doesn'T just stand on business a little bit, but it takes him a moment to stand on his business.
Francis
It gets to the business relatively quickly.
Roan
Initially, he's like, businesses, we're not open at this time. And then eventually he's like, okay, we're open for business now I'm standing on it anyway.
Francis
So what was. What does this have to do with what we're talking about?
Harry
He's just saying, check in. Like, you got to check in.
Francis
Who is it?
Roan
Yeah, you said Chris o' Connor now is, like, needs to check in with Rico when he comes to New York.
Francis
Of course, because he pre offered him the favor, and now he would be in his debt if he didn't, you know, so they're. They're already locked in. Rico's going to the show, but he couldn't get Carbone. But he did get Corner Store.
Roan
He got Corners Store for his. Yes. For himself.
Francis
You know how he got the tickets to the show, though? He got them through Hubs. Hubs has an MSG guy.
Roan
Hubs has an MSG guy.
Harry
Yeah.
Francis
Who can get you faced.
Harry
I never even thought about that. That you could have, like, a guy at the venue.
Francis
Yes.
Harry
Is there people that just work at msg? I thought it was like, a rotating crew.
Francis
No, there's just.
Harry
They got their staple guys.
Roan
Yeah.
Francis
They could just bring you in. They could just get you. Which means that there's always some extra tickets.
Harry
Oh.
Francis
That if they got this week, there's just always some.
Harry
Yeah, yeah.
Francis
I mean, it's not like his nosebleeds. He probably got good tickets. But, like, where. Who were those saved for? Why weren't those open to the public?
Roan
It's a good question.
Harry
I've literally. I have no idea how it works.
Roan
That's like when. When. When we go play a club and they tell you that they held 10 comps whether you use them or not. Except in the case of Madison Square Garden, 300 is to 10. What? 16,000 is to what?
Harry
Yeah.
Roan
Do you think it's 300 comps? Yeah, something like that.
Harry
How many you think it is that they hold? Yeah, at MS, I would say. I mean, it's not 100.
Roan
Yeah, probably something like that.
Harry
Yeah.
Roan
500. I don't know.
Harry
I was going to say a thousand, but I was like, that's a lot of people.
Roan
I mean, yeah, we got tickets pretty. No problem, and it wasn't a problem.
Harry
They're kind of just throwing them out, throwing them around.
Francis
There's the hardest ticket in town for some people. Unless you're Paying in cologne and favors.
Harry
Yeah, true.
Francis
That's the easiest way. So they have corner store tonight. Ricoh to have corner store.
Roan
And then. And then Rico was throwing out this other place, Kachina Alba, and I wasn't particularly keen to go there because I quickly looked that up, and there were just plenty of reservations easily gettable through regular means. So I'm like, well, this place must suck. You know, why would I use a guy when I could use resi, Right?
Francis
You know, you don't want to burn a favor.
Roan
Oh. And he's like, do you want Coutin Alba or not? I'm like, I'm kind of stalling a little bit. And I'm like, I've never been there. You know? Like, is it any good?
Francis
It might not suck, but it might maybe just has no motion.
Roan
Yeah. And then over the top, out of nowhere, Jerry goes, I got you Bellottos. Emilio Bilatos.
Harry
I don't know what that is.
Roan
So Balatos is. Was. Became really hot when Taylor Swift went with Patrick Mahomes, his wife, when they were.
Harry
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
Roan
And it blew up. It's a small Italian place. It's on Houston Street. It's very tough.
Francis
That's when I talked about. I went. Because I paid a lady to stand in line.
Harry
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You told me about that.
Roan
Yeah. But meanwhile, while they were doing all this, I had put my. I hit up my manager, and I was like, do we have any way of, like, getting reservations at, like, nice restaurants? He's like, yes, How's Emilio Bilatos? And I was like, I had had that before double Bolato. Before Jerry had hit me up about Bilateros.
Harry
You think he was hitting up Jerry?
Roan
And then I had my old neighbor who worked for the Nets, and they had a reservation fixer. I had reached out to her, and she was like, I can get you Bellottos. And I was like, man, is everyone's got bolloads lead to bolloudos.
Francis
I'm afraid to do this because I know you're a semantic man. It might be Emilio's Bellotto.
Roan
You probably are right.
Francis
It might be Emilio's Bellotto. Much like the annex situation with Tommy.
Roan
If you have an opinion, I'm going with your gut.
Francis
Well, I'm already skittish because I'm now just finding out I haven't been answering texts.
Roan
That's.
Harry
That's a lot of gelatos.
Roan
Well, we were going to go to Bollos, and I think I said, wow, awesome. Thanks, Jerry. Or whatever.
Francis
Because you wanted Italian. You wanted a nice hearty.
Roan
We were thinking Italian is what we were originally thinking. I had RESI alerts on for Res. Dora Via Corota is Sodi Lartuzzi.
Francis
Donnie, that Toscana.
Roan
All the. All the big ones. All the big hit. All the good ones.
Harry
Yep.
Roan
Yeah. You know, of course, Harry.
Harry
Yeah.
Francis
Chef Boyardee gelatos.
Roan
Yes. And then Moscow's. I had a resi notification on. And for coats. For coats, where we're going, which is the Korean steakhouse.
Harry
Yeah.
Roan
That I've never been to. And people speak of it as a hallowed ground.
Harry
How so?
Roan
It's big time.
Harry
Really?
Roan
Yeah, it's big time.
Francis
Big shot is primo. Oh, what?
Harry
Can I wear this?
Francis
Can you wear this?
Roan
We're just going to tell them you're famous. That's all we've got.
Francis
Just have your. Have your old Twitter, like, kind of up on your phone as we walk in.
Harry
I logged on to that accidentally this morning and I just saw how many followers I've lost.
Roan
Just walk in. Walk in. Going like this. Yeah, me, I'm going to meet me.
Harry
I got to do your me. We go.
Roan
Yeah.
Harry
Holding.
Roan
Walking with a Corona Corona. And the finger pointing at yourself.
Harry
Yeah, me, Corona Extra.
Roan
I got drafted. So then coat gets. I hit the coat thing immediately. Those resi things, you got to be fucking on your phone in order to get it. And I got it. Five people, 5:15pm Friday.
Harry
Yeah.
Roan
And I said, holy shit. So we got that. And then I said to Roan, I was like, should we go to Bilato's? Jerry got us Bellottos or Bilato. Or should we go to Cote? And we both, kind of.
Harry
Why not both?
Francis
Well, one's five, one. Five, 15.
Harry
So why don't we go Cote before Gelatos?
Francis
After, when Gelato's was first, Tell them.
Harry
To keep the place open. Keep the lights on.
Francis
We have to keep the lights on.
Roan
We only have, like two hours either way before the show.
Harry
No, I meant after the show. We'll close down shop at Gelato's.
Francis
We have a 5. 15. We can't go to Gelato's. We have a 5.
Harry
Aren't we saying after the show?
Roan
Are we going to the after party or something? Aren't we going to the bowels of Garden?
Francis
Why don't we move the after party to Bolatos?
Roan
Yeah, five of you can come to.
Harry
Gelato, including three of us.
Francis
Two of us.
Roan
So we both agreed that coat would probably be more fun. And then I waited a day to tell Jerry, because I didn't know how to say this, that we no longer wanted to make good on his outreach.
Harry
Yeah.
Roan
To Bilato.
Francis
And you almost made a grave mistake.
Roan
Well, Roan had the. He was very smart about this.
Francis
I called Francis. I was like, if you don't let Jerry know you're not gonna come, he'll fucking kill you. He might actually slit your throat.
Roan
And I love Jerry.
Harry
He is a gun.
Roan
I don't want him to do that.
Francis
He has guns.
Harry
Yeah.
Roan
I love Jerry. I love Rico.
Francis
He has it on his lap. I told Rico, he was like, oh, you go to mulatto? And he was.
Roan
Rico got very concerned that we were not making. Whether we were not going to take Jerry up on the. Jerry. He was upset.
Francis
He was upset we hadn't told Jerry.
Roan
Yet.
Francis
And I mean, it almost. It almost damned us to the point.
Roan
That Rico, in my group chat with me and Jerry goes, so Francis going, nudge, nudge.
Harry
Yeah. He's trying to put you on the spot.
Francis
Well, he didn't want you to forget.
Roan
No, I know. And then I called Jerry and I said. Explained it. And this was a great. This was one of those rare situations where the truth was sufficient.
Harry
Yeah.
Roan
I didn't have to fudge.
Francis
Which truth did you give?
Roan
I gave the truth of. We had put other lines in the water. And we got this thing at Cote, which is much closer to the garden and work.
Francis
And it's not heavy Italian. You're not having a Parmesan.
Roan
It was where we were hoping, fundamentally, we would rather go there, if that's okay. But if it's going to put you out, we will make good on the. On the. And he goes, oh, don't worry about it. All good. And I think he had not. He was supposed to reach out on the day of to confirm, and he hadn't done that yet. And so Jerry was totally cool. So I bought him six bottles of cologne.
Harry
Damn. Six.
Roan
Yeah.
Harry
Fragrance from.
Roan
From. What's it called?
Francis
Paco Rabanne. Paco Rabanne One million. His favorite.
Roan
The Udzerians. The really expensive one that I just bought. And let me tell you, you cannot get it off. Dude, this stuff sits on everything. If you sat on a couch with it, it'd be like people would know you were there.
Harry
I just go, Old Spice body Spray.
Roan
Yeah.
Harry
The Axe Grenade.
Roan
Was it Creed? Creed is the company. Do you know Creed?
Francis
Yeah. Creed Aventus is like the. It's like. That's like the staple starter pack cologne for guys.
Roan
Oh, shit. It's Starter pack Adventus. Well, I know that it's their most popular one.
Francis
Yeah, yeah. Adventus, I think is. I mean, I have it.
Roan
I went Udzarian from Uzarian. It's made with a wood that's been aged for 80 years.
Francis
Sounds incredible.
Roan
Yeah. You spray it and chunks of balsam just. You have to flake them off.
Francis
But how did it. But didn't you send a screenshot of Jerry being like, we're going to have a perfect for Francis. We're going to bring him through the back door in the kitchen and like, they were going to have him circle around. That's incredible. And then you had to break the news after that.
Roan
Wait, are you serious? Because I did not see that.
Francis
Oh, really?
Roan
Did you actually get a text where they were going to make.
Francis
No, I thought it was in the text. In the text that you sent. No, I saw something about someone being brought around the back. Or maybe it's from Rico.
Roan
Maybe. I didn't see that text. I didn't know that.
Francis
I don't have my phone here, but I got it. I think that they were saying they were going to bring it around the back. They were going to bring everybody to the kitchen Goodfellow style.
Roan
The last time I was there, I was sitting with my back up against the back of Aaron Judge.
Harry
Damn.
Roan
That's how you know it's a legit spot.
Harry
And this is at coat or no or what is it? Dolato's Bellottos.
Roan
Yep. Yeah.
Francis
Now we're going to go to Cote instead. A little bit of steak.
Harry
I'm pumped.
Roan
You're going to be. I knew you'd be happier with Coke.
Francis
Oh.
Harry
I mean, I'm fine with either. I don't care. I'm not picky. I don't think I. We don't need. None of us view food the same way whatsoever.
Roan
He and I are pretty.
Harry
No, I know. That's what I mean. I meant this side of the table. Yeah. When I say us, I'm referring to just me. This side.
Francis
You and J. Will.
Harry
Yeah.
Francis
How do you guys view food?
Harry
Fuel. Just get it over with.
Francis
You don't enjoy any. You were just trying to go to four Charles.
Harry
Well, four Charles, exactly.
Francis
That's what I'm saying.
Harry
Exactly.
Francis
You value food.
Harry
Yeah, but I don't think I do. I don't know. I don't think I have a very, very developed palate.
Francis
I think it's because you started spending your money on first class and now that's the only thing that matters.
Harry
No, I don't care about that.
Roan
Do you have a microwaved chicken dish back there with a salad that is two bites.
Harry
I think I just once my get my stomach figured out right now.
Roan
First class meal at Delta.
Harry
Everything I eat hurts my stomach, and it's not fun to eat.
Francis
You need an endoscopy, bro?
Harry
No, I need. I just eat yogurt.
Roan
You just stop vaping.
Harry
Yeah, probably. I did for a minute, and then I reversed that real quick.
Roan
Why?
Harry
Because I'm an idiot.
Roan
Picked it up again. Yeah. Did you think that you could do it moderately?
Harry
Definitely.
Roan
It's an all or nothing.
Harry
Yeah, but I'm not. I'm not worried about it. I'm gonna stop again.
Roan
I'm not saying you need to be worried about it, but I have learned that I'm the same way. Yeah. I'm either doing it all the way or I'm not doing it at all.
Harry
Oh, yeah.
Roan
I actually took all the weed I had and threw it down the trash.
Francis
What?
Harry
Really?
Roan
I can't have it anymore because we.
Francis
Don'T look at weed the same way.
Roan
I took all of it.
Harry
Why'd you toss it?
Roan
Because I was not your upstate weed. All my what? Your upstate stash and my lobster claw pipe.
Francis
What?
Roan
And the pre roll joints and edibles.
Francis
You had that in a lockbox you didn't even have. It's not even like it was there.
Roan
That whole bag.
Harry
Why did you throw it all out?
Roan
Because I've been up there the last three nights, and I've eaten a pint and a half of ice cream every single night. I cannot.
Harry
Why do you have four pints of ice cream?
Roan
Because I got it at the gun store and it's. They have graters. Graters is so hard to find.
Harry
Yeah.
Roan
Graters is unbelievable.
Francis
But you can't. You. Why didn't you throw out the ice cream? Not the weed you threw out the Wrong.
Roan
Because if I don't smoke weed, I can eat ice cream in moderation. I cannot smoke weed in moderation.
Harry
Can't smoke weed in moderation or you can't eat and smoke weed in moderation?
Roan
Both. Well, I can. I don't know if what you'd call moderation for smoking weed, but, like, it doesn't matter if I have two hits of a joint or five or seven bong rips.
Harry
Yeah.
Roan
I'm taking out three pints of ice cream to soften them so that I can have different flavors. And then once I remember that I've opened them all. Now I'm like, oh, no, they're melting. I need to eat enough so that when I put it back in the freezer, it doesn't crystallize. And I go, full pint. And then I'm like, fuck, I forgot to mix flavors. And I go, another half pint.
Harry
Wait, so do you.
Francis
Did you.
Harry
Did you throw away all the weed when you were high or words? Was it the next day?
Roan
This morning?
Harry
It was this morning.
Roan
What? Yeah, it's probably still in the shoot. I mean, you're going.
Harry
You're gonna be jumping in the shoot.
Roan
Red glass shards from the lobster claw. I don't want to do it anymore, man.
Harry
That was like your prized possession.
Roan
I fucking loved it. Well, then we got breaking. We got the. We got the bass pipe, which I thought we were gonna share, and you just took it. What? I thought that was our. All of ours. I really did. I didn't know. I gave Harry.
Harry
I smashed mine too.
Roan
What?
Harry
I said, I smashed mine too.
Roan
Better not in solidarity.
Francis
It's like twelve hundred dollars.
Harry
I'm pretty sure mine smashed with the lobster. Yeah, they're connected.
Francis
It was like a Horcrux just flew.
Harry
Across the room last night.
Roan
That's.
Francis
That's sad. Honestly, so are you. You'll smoke and you'll start eating ice cream and you're just scrolling on your phone.
Roan
I'm watching a movie.
Francis
You're watching a movie?
Roan
Oh, man. You guys aren't gonna like this. What?
Francis
Train dreams.
Roan
No, I'm almost, like worried to even tell you what I've been watching.
Francis
Well, it can't be gay.
Roan
It's gay.
Harry
But I think Call me by your name.
Roan
Correct.
Harry
Oh, well, that's a pretty famous movie I just watched.
Roan
Call me by your name. I've never seen it before.
Francis
That's Chalamet. That was Chalamet's like. You know how Harvey Weinstein used to get girls naked in movies early on to control them?
Harry
Yeah.
Francis
That was the Hollywood control of Timothee Chalamet.
Roan
It's Luca Guadagnino.
Francis
Oh, that's Timothy. Chalamet's not in it.
Roan
No, he is. No, he's just the director. He's the guy who's doing when we had Angus on. Oh, yeah, Angus is doing his new movie.
Francis
And so it's him.
Roan
Army Hammer.
Francis
Armie Hammer.
Roan
Army Hammer is very charming in this movie.
Harry
Like it's before we learned that he was a cannibal.
Roan
Correct.
Francis
But that's probably part of the charm. That's probably how he charmed the blood out of these women.
Roan
By the way, looking back at that movie, it was like Armie Hammer was on his way to being a lordy before a lordy. He was the tall hunk. Yeah.
Harry
Oh, yeah, I see what you mean.
Roan
And yeah, career was just.
Harry
Yeah.
Roan
Understandably.
Francis
I don't think so. I think that's bullshit that you can't do freak shit. You know what I mean? People just.
Harry
That was freak shit.
Francis
Judging super hard. They're yucking his yum.
Harry
I don't think. I think if he didn't get caught, he would have killed somebody.
Roan
Yeah.
Harry
I think it was 100%.
Francis
I think he was a Hollywood actor.
Harry
Yeah.
Francis
Why else would you become one?
Roan
I think it was beyond just the. I don't even know if the cannibalism text. Well, that was what was sort of grabbed onto. But I think he was actually like abusing people. Oh, yeah.
Harry
Definitely didn't. Yeah. He was like. He was also like running into the woods and like biting animals heads off, I think.
Francis
Yeah. So he was chilling. Yeah.
Harry
But my point is nature.
Roan
It's too bad that he was a cannibal because if not, he would be a lordy. And I say that and then you see him shirtless in this movie. And I thought from watching the Social Network where he plays both Winkle vi, that he was going to be this cut, chiseled athlete. He's not as cut as I had hoped out. He's not pudgy. He's just like not athlete cut.
Francis
This was six five, Chris Pratt and Parks and Rex.
Roan
He's just. I don't know, he just doesn't look. He doesn't look as athletic as I had pictured him looking. I thought he'd be. Lord, he's been cut since Euphoria.
Francis
Elordi is on the. Elordi is on the train to becoming perverse because I. I have only seen still images, but I'm pretty sure his last movie, he had his arm in Margot Robbie's mouth like it was Vince Carter in the rim, like he was.
Roan
That's Withering heights.
Francis
I don't think.
Harry
That's not coming out.
Roan
That's Wuthering Heights.
Francis
There's still. There's still shots of him dangling from her mouth at the dunk contest.
Roan
By the way.
Harry
The.
Roan
I saw a quote from some magazine or Vanity Fair thing he did, maybe where he was like, you know, we both found that we had one singular obsession and that was each other.
Francis
Yeah.
Harry
Yeah.
Roan
Like they were obsessed with each other. Yeah. It's like she has a husband.
Harry
Yeah.
Francis
She had a worse quote. She was like. Whenever I Couldn't find him on the set. I was like a lost puppy dog.
Harry
I saw that.
Roan
All right, honey. Have fun filming sex scenes today with the hottest man on earth. Like, I'll just be here making school.
Harry
On 20 months straight.
Roan
Yeah.
Francis
I hope that their significant others at least got to spend a little time together. You know what I mean?
Roan
Like, definitely swap.
Francis
Didn't that. I think that happened to Shania Twain. Her husband cheated on her and got married to the woman. And then she started a relationship with the guy. The cut was the other cuck.
Roan
Wow. I think that has a bad idea. I think that happens. It's like it starts as revenge trauma bonding, and then it builds into something more.
Francis
She started up with the cuck. So what? So what? Like, why are you going down this path?
Roan
Well, I mean, it kind of what is.
Harry
What draws you to the gay movies.
Francis
To the gay lifestyle?
Roan
I think. I think. And I don't know if I realized this. I think I just decided around New Year's that I needed a break from women. And listen, that's not. Women are great.
Harry
So you meant like even in media?
Roan
I think that it all.
Harry
Doing a full cutout.
Roan
Yeah. I was. I was watch like 12 Angry Men.
Francis
Or something like that. Like, there's ways that you can have all dudes on screen.
Roan
I guess so I just. Without realizing it, I was like, I need to take a break because women are probably my favorite thing.
Harry
Oh, okay. Not bad.
Roan
I probably like them too much. I get a little excited.
Harry
You know, I'm not on out.
Francis
It's like sass.
Harry
I can't speak on that.
Francis
With his vape.
Roan
Yeah.
Francis
You couldn't put him down.
Roan
I wanted. I like them. I like women a lot.
Francis
But you threw them all down the garbage.
Roan
And I want. I gotta stop. I gotta stop. I'm either all in or all out. And I said, I need to take a break. I can't just let, you know, women be what I think about all the time.
Harry
Yeah.
Roan
So I'm. I'm going on sabbatical. I'm taking a little bit of a hiatus.
Francis
And maybe even I think that subconsciously you might be trying to tempt yourself with homosexuality. Just being like, what if it fudgeing works out?
Roan
I wish.
Francis
I wish it's not going.
Roan
I wish I were gay.
Francis
Right.
Roan
Really fudgeing. Do.
Francis
Just dangling it in front of yourself to see. And it's just like, I can't. I can't be gay.
Roan
I think I have I said this to you guys. I think I've said this. Where I had the thought that it is truly unfair to the world that I'm straight. Because what I mean is this. I grew up in a family that would have been thrilled to learn that I was gay. I would have. It would have been the most accepting. Like, embracing, happy. All that good stuff. And then in my place, there's some poor farm boy in Missouri who is hiding this crushing secret because he knows that his parents will beat the. Out of him and send him to conversion therapy and.
Francis
Or like a. Or like a repressed gang banger who's like, the hood wouldn't love him if he was gay. And so instead, like, he's putting up king Von numbers spraying down the block. Or like a linebacker who is like. Like, built to just be, like, an effeminate gay dude, but.
Roan
Exactly.
Francis
He's not being allowed to by the football world. So now he's got CT from throwing his body like a projectile missile.
Roan
And that kid should have grown up taking piano lessons in Maine, and I should have been down there. You know, I guess I. I mean, we just, you know, it's just. It is what it is. And I feel bad for that.
Francis
You know, all these show tunes for nothing.
Roan
It's like God put us both in the wrong buckets. Or the bodies.
Francis
Yeah.
Roan
With our proclivities. He swapped us by accident. It was just an oversight.
Francis
It's such that you're not gay.
Roan
I w. It's. It is sad.
Francis
Live a gay bachelor lifestyle some ways. Like, the gay dudes that I've known in New York have incredible, like, taste and really nice apartments. They'll have you over and cook or, like.
Roan
Yeah.
Francis
Show you a really cool restaurant or something.
Roan
Like spend $10,000 on coffee equipment.
Francis
Right.
Roan
Make amazing latte art for you.
Harry
I don't know if that's a gay thing. The gay guys, they like to get. They like to get out for their coffee.
Francis
Yeah.
Harry
Maybe they're not staying in the house. It just wake up. They're never home. Gay dudes, they're always out. They wake up and they're hitting the street.
Roan
Hence, out and about.
Harry
Yeah, exactly.
Francis
They really gay. Pat, I guess was. But that's when he had a torn acl.
Roan
True.
Harry
Yeah.
Francis
That's the only thing that could keep a gay man in the house. IR. Stint. Poor bastard. Yeah. It's wasted on you. I mean. Yeah. Being upstate and gay. That's the dream.
Roan
Yes.
Harry
No, you don't want to be upstate gay.
Roan
Why not?
Harry
You want to be in the city.
Roan
Oh, no. Small towns. Small towns, America. Gay is great. And then he go antiquing, you know.
Francis
Right.
Roan
Like, everyone knows you at the cafe.
Francis
You're beloved. You're way less of a threat.
Roan
You don't have to. You don't have to go to, like. I also think it's an age thing, right. Where it's like. Yeah. When you're young and gay, you want to be in Brooklyn going to warehouse parties till six in the morning, collecting.
Francis
Straight women, but once you.
Roan
Once you find the one, you know.
Harry
The gay person for you.
Roan
Yeah.
Francis
Your partner.
Roan
Yeah.
Francis
Your lifelong partner.
Harry
Your teammate.
Roan
Yeah. Your Ted.
Francis
Or your quarterback.
Roan
Yeah. You. You. Then you move to New Hope, Pennsylvania.
Francis
So did you kind of like, when you're watching this movie, did you just.
Roan
Burlington.
Francis
Yeah. Did you monitor your. Like, just to see if there's even like a. A light, like, throb or anything like.
Roan
No, unfortunately. You know, he. A peach.
Harry
Yeah, I've heard about that. I've never seen it.
Roan
There's some weird stuff I've heard about the peach scene. It's a strange movie. I will say the scenery in the setting is the most beautiful thing. It's in the summer, and I think like, the Dolomites, maybe.
Francis
And it's like a soft Monet painting.
Roan
Yeah, it really is. And there's all these amazing swimming holes that they always go to. And the town is beautiful. And there's like 10 different languages that get spoken. I actually thought that Chalamet's French was remarkably good. Oh, yeah.
Francis
He was raised in France.
Roan
Is that right?
Francis
Or he was half raised in like Hell's Kitchen in France.
Roan
Then he must be flown because his French was really, really. Yeah, yeah.
Harry
Makes sense.
Francis
I should have known that, but I just. I feel like he's blossomed since then. But they kind of put him in a. I guess that's just the act, the way you start off as an actor. Actors can't be scared. Like Tom Hardy said, I'm an actor. Of course I fuck dudes.
Roan
Did he? But it's like, yeah, if you are in Band of Brothers and the Fighter, then.
Harry
What do you mean?
Francis
Like, Tom Hardy.
Roan
Tom Hardy has done such masculine things.
Harry
You.
Roan
We could pict. We could see him accidentally. I was born Guy and we'd be like, I don't care.
Harry
Yeah, yeah.
Roan
Like, that's. That's the straightest sex I've ever seen. Whereas Sham now has go. He started with it.
Harry
What was his first big movie?
Roan
Interstellar. Yeah.
Harry
He cried. Have you heard that story? That he cried? No, because he watched it in theaters and he wasn't in it for. He was in it for, like, he thought he was like one of the main parts of the movie. And then he saw it in theaters and he was like, what the.
Roan
Really?
Harry
Yeah.
Francis
Well, he didn't cry because the movie was sad. He cried because he didn't get enough screen time.
Harry
I would assume it was probably something where he. They probably filmed a ton of scenes and they probably just totally changed the entire thing.
Roan
I think they planted all that corn for that movie, I heard.
Francis
Really?
Roan
Yeah. They didn't just find some cornfield. They plant.
Harry
I guess that makes sense because they had to drive through it.
Roan
Yeah. Yeah. Also, they burned a ton of it.
Harry
Yeah. That's not surprising. Just throw away the rest.
Roan
Yeah.
Harry
After we're done filming this, just toss all of it. Millions of acres of corn.
Francis
They probably did. Corn is worth no money. Corn's worth negative money.
Harry
You could literally. You could grow corn in a fucking anywhere.
Francis
Because corn, the really the devil, like people say, tell people have, like, especially corn oils and stuff like that.
Roan
Like, they're saying, yeah, corn, corn starch.
Harry
I remember that.
Francis
People really have a negative opinion of corn.
Harry
I think there's just so many uses.
Francis
But it's ubiquitous, though. It's like. And it predates America. You know what I mean? The. Our Indian brothers and sisters were chomping corn.
Roan
Yeah.
Harry
When they go. They had like, the brown corn maze.
Roan
What is it called?
Harry
Maze maize.
Roan
M A I Z E. Come on, bro.
Francis
Get with the tongue.
Harry
I'm not about not. I don't know. My corn.
Francis
Yeah. I guess I'm trying to. I guess I don't really use corn oil if I'm cooking at home, but I'll run into it. I'm sure they'll probably have some corn oil at the at coat tonight.
Harry
Not if I'm up to it. Say, put that away. I don't want any oils. Seeds, corn, nothing.
Francis
Seed oil, too, bro. Seed oil. That'll spook you.
Harry
Seed oil is bad.
Francis
I don't know why, but I hear it and I believe the out of it.
Roan
For the worst things about it.
Harry
I think you have, like. I think your body has a hard time digesting.
Roan
It never goes away.
Harry
Something like that.
Roan
Microplastic.
Harry
I think it does. It has to come out of the sweat glands.
Roan
Yeah.
Francis
Guys, it is game time. It's the NFL playoffs. It's basketball season. It's really. It's theater season for a lot of people. It's comedy season year round in this household. And all of those seasons align under one banner. And that's with game Time. Tonight we're going to a comedy show and we got the tickets from Game Time. Incredible seats. We got them on Game Time. Just a couple clicks, no hidden fees. It could not be more simple to go on to Game Time. But it's like if you want to go to the super or the big game, you can go and check it out via Game Time. It's so simple. Last year, Sash bought tickets with Game Time with Game Time for the big Game Time them right, you're going to be able to get a great deal. But honestly, you could get the tickets as you're walking into the game. That's how simple it is with Game Time. And it doesn't matter. A baseball season is right around the corner, the hot stove is cooling down and it's about to be spring training. Why not go to a baseball game via Game Time? Exactly. So many different ways that you can use Game Time to access a good time time that's going to give you memories that will last a lifetime. Why not make Game Time the number one used app in your phone? And right now you can use Game.
Roan
Time by taking the guesswork out of buying NFL tickets with Game Time. Download the Game Time app, create an account and use code BOYDAD that's right for $20 off. Your first purchase terms apply. Again, create an account and redeem code B O Y D a d for $20 off. Download the Game Time app today.
Harry
Alrighty folks, let's talk about Tempo. This time of year I'm trying to stay consistent with eating well. But between work workouts and commuting, cooking just isn't happening. Tempo gives you fresh, balanced meals ready in two minutes. So you can eat the way you want without losing time. Tempo delivers fresh, chef crafted, dietitian approved meals right to your door. Each meal is perfectly position or each meal is perfectly portioned for lunch or dinner and ready in just two minutes. That means real food, real fast. Without the sad desk lunch or the drive thru regret. With 20 new recipes every week. Made from nutrient rich ingredients, Tempo keeps things exciting and helps you stay consistent with healthy habits. Even busy athletes like Maria Francis.
Francis
Sharapova.
Roan
Sharapova.
Harry
Sharapova swear by Tempo for balanced meals. I don't know why I asked you.
Francis
To say that, but anyways, as if I don't know. Sharapova.
Roan
I know.
Harry
I. I thought Francis might know her personally.
Roan
Personally? Personally?
Harry
Yeah.
Roan
Why? I don't know.
Francis
Actually, I could see it kind of. I could see you're not.
Harry
You're an athlete, you're a busy athlete.
Roan
She used to be married to Sasha Vujicic.
Harry
You should start telling people that you're a busy athlete because you technically are like. You're like an athlete at heart, but you're busy. For a limited time, Tempo is offering my listeners 60 our listeners 60% off your first box. That's insane. Go to Tempo meals.com boydad that's Tempo meals.com boydad for 60% off your first box. Tempo meals.com boydad rules and restrictions may apply.
Roan
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Francis
I love Cash App I I. You can buy cryptocurrency on Cash App too. That's where my crypto holdings are.
Roan
I'm a big fan of Cash App. Everybody seems to have it. If you don't happen to have cash on yourself, you need to tip a caddy or you know, you want to send a nice tip to someone or whatever. Hey, you got Cash app? Yeah, of course. There you go. Solved. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash Apps Bank Partners Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank Member FDIC Discounts and promotions provided by Cash App a Block Inc. Brand Visit Visit Cash App Slash Legal Slash Podcast for full disclosures I got.
Francis
My pre novo results back. Oh yeah, Good Clean Bell Health Clean clean.
Harry
Did they show you them? Like, did you get to see like the X ray?
Francis
I got to see all. It's a full body mri, so I see, I saw every part of my body.
Harry
Did they zoom in on anything? And they were like, what's, what do we got here?
Francis
And I was like, that's my meat. You can see your meat on the X ray though. Yeah, Ridiculous.
Roan
Really?
Francis
Yeah.
Harry
What are they gonna do, blur it out?
Francis
Yeah. Pixelate me. I just have my meat on the mri. That's so insane.
Harry
You go in with clothes on.
Francis
Yes. And they saw right through that. Right.
Roan
It's weird. I feel as if every time I've ever had. Oh, you're saying mri, right? I was gonna say X ray. I always wear that lead skirt over my meat.
Harry
Yeah, I was gonna. Yeah, you should have just brought your own from home lead.
Francis
I would have.
Harry
Jock strap.
Francis
I think they were trying to. They were. They wanted to get a good look at my colon and my prostate and everything like that. So they were me watching. They were heavily meat gazing.
Roan
It's important.
Francis
All. It's all the right size prostate. Prostate. Right size.
Roan
Nice.
Francis
So nice to hear that you don't have an oversized prostate.
Harry
Yeah, big ass prostate.
Francis
That's. I mean, I think that they said it's like 30 milliliters, was like the top end for like, if. If you're. If it's bigger than 30 milliliters, you have a. Hello. Suitcase of prostate.
Roan
The perfect size for a latte. Yeah.
Francis
Latte cappuccino.
Roan
Yeah. Perfect for latte art.
Francis
My colon for a nice Americano. Yeah. But I think that mine was at like 19.9.
Harry
Not bad.
Francis
Sitting pretty.
Harry
Yeah.
Francis
Like, right in that range of nice size prostate. They did not say anything about my prostate being undersized.
Harry
Petite little prostate.
Roan
I saw. Sorry, Go.
Francis
No, no, done.
Roan
I saw the preview for that movie Wuthering Heights with Elordi, and I feel.
Francis
Like we read that book in, like.
Roan
Well, I'm reading. I bought the book and I'm reading it.
Francis
That's like, as bad as, like, Little Women.
Roan
Dude, I'll tell you something. All those books, we.
Harry
Wasn't he in Little Women too? Was he.
Roan
Was that before Chalamet or Lord Chalamet? That sounds right.
Harry
Was that before called me by your name or. No, that was definitely after.
Roan
Same. Same time. Ish. Maybe.
Harry
Yeah. Sons.
Francis
But it's the same. It's very. It's like thick and girl. Coated as hell.
Roan
It is. It's. It's good. I mean, all those old, like, Jane Austen books, if you like to really read that. It's. It. They're amazing, but you have to really.
Francis
Read like a pair. You'll, like, just flip a couple of pages ahead and it's the same paragraph.
Harry
I've been.
Roan
I've been hammering it, though. I'm reading like I'm 60 pages a day right now.
Francis
You need a machete to get through that shit.
Roan
What helps is that I'm picturing a Lordy as he.
Francis
Okay, that's nice.
Roan
And Margot Robbie. I believe it's. She's got to be Catherine. But anyway, the point is I didn't know the story. And when I saw that preview, I knew I was going to want to see that movie. So I wanted to read the book first.
Francis
And I'm hurt hearing that the movie might be better than the book.
Roan
Really?
Harry
Really.
Francis
In a rare circumstance.
Harry
Where are you hearing that from?
Francis
I don't know.
Harry
Isn't the movie not out?
Francis
I mean, there's connected.
Harry
You're connected.
Francis
Yeah.
Harry
You get the script?
Francis
I just.
Roan
I'm just hearing it's like a 300 year old book.
Harry
You know they send roan screenplays. Don't they like send you them in the mail?
Francis
They used to, but.
Roan
Oh, I get those.
Harry
Really?
Roan
Yeah.
Harry
That's sick.
Francis
Yeah, he's Screen Actors Guild. I'm Writers Guild. What guild are you in? Non union pussy.
Harry
Yeah, I'm not in Scab, I'm anti union.
Francis
Yeah, you're scab.
Roan
They send you the DVDs. It's annoying.
Harry
I'd love them.
Roan
I get 20 DVDs at. At the head of the Screen Actors Guild Awards.
Harry
Is it the. They send you the full movie on the dvd? That's kind of sick. No, they should just email it to you though.
Roan
That's the thing. It's like I throw every DVD player. I throw out 20 DVDs.
Francis
Yeah, I stopped getting them, honestly.
Harry
You need an Xbox.
Roan
I get them in front, but right before the screen.
Francis
You still haven't get you gotten them this year. I don't think I got like one this year.
Harry
If you got like an Xbox, you could use it as a DVD player.
Francis
That's what I did for a long ass time.
Harry
Yeah.
Roan
Trying to get me to get it. Just saying system.
Harry
You're not smoking weed anymore. You're going to have to do something.
Francis
No, he quit women. He quit weed. If he picks up video games, he'll have zero hours in a day.
Roan
I'll just be hairy.
Harry
Yeah, no, I barely play. I have him playing nearly as much as I'd like to. I'll tell you that I'm bad.
Francis
Breaks my heart.
Harry
Yeah, it breaks my heart too.
Francis
Well, you only. I mean, you have to divide your time and it's 33% smoking weed. 33% video games.
Roan
I realized I'm lost without golf. That's the big absence in my life.
Harry
Yeah, I didn't even. I never even thought about that until we went to Florida and you guys were all like, yeah, I haven't played in four months.
Roan
I haven't. I was so bad. It's just so frustrating. Like, I spent all this time. It's all through the summer getting my game to the right level. Get to this great point, and then it's. It just is all gone. It's gone.
Francis
You'll pick it back.
Roan
I'll get. But it's going to take the whole season to get back to where I was. I was. I was really good.
Francis
Yeah, you're going to be there.
Harry
It'll take the whole season.
Francis
You'll be there by June, by August.
Roan
I know. I know this.
Harry
Yeah. Same thing with video games. You don't play for three days yet. Back on.
Roan
It's over.
Francis
That's not. That's not going to happen in France.
Roan
This is not riding muscle memory. It's not, though. It's like, for some reason, it's touch, it's feel, it's.
Francis
Now you're up and down. Come on.
Harry
It's the same thing as you might go out first day and shoot, like, amazing, and then the next day you'll go out and you'll blow up.
Francis
Yeah, but that's the game.
Roan
Harry was unbelievable at golf.
Francis
Exactly. And he hasn't played.
Roan
Not even. This is not an exaggeration. He was better than I was. Swear to God.
Harry
It was only because it was only in. It was because we were playing scramble. If we were playing stroke, what does it matter?
Roan
What does it matter? We were playing a scramble and we. We used your ball more than we used mine, period. That's true.
Harry
I would say my short game was. My short game was. Was pretty solid.
Roan
Short game was unbelievable. My, like, medium. You kept hitting that driving three iron and you were in the fairway every single time. I appreciate the guys cooking balls into the woods. We were toast. Off my ball.
Harry
No, there was a. There was a couple drives that I. First drive off the. There was a couple drives I had that were like. We would have had to quit the game if you didn't. We used a second.
Roan
We used your ball more than we used my ball. You were better than I was.
Francis
No spoilers, though.
Roan
No spoilers. No spoilers worth watching. Good match.
Francis
When does it come out?
Roan
Not sure.
Harry
Maybe next year. I don't know. Those foreplay guys, you have no clue when their shit's dropping.
Francis
Don't say that. They're just.
Harry
They've got a catalog of content. They're pumping out content. Yeah, I remember I filmed my video with Frankie, it came out, like, six months later.
Francis
Just because you were nobody at the time. Like, we'll wait till his star rises.
Roan
We have three months of content sponsored by Apple.
Harry
Yeah, exactly.
Roan
We have to get through. We have a lot of commitments to Apple, and then we have a big deal with Chevy.
Francis
Yeah.
Roan
Literally. Dude.
Harry
Yeah. We were talking about, like, we don't have to get into the details, but we were talking about, like, advertising with them, and then the names that they're dropping are Sprite. Just, like, brands that you wouldn't even consider.
Francis
It's like, wait, you don't need advertising. Everybody knows about advertising. Exactly.
Roan
Stock.
Francis
Nvidia.
Roan
Yeah. Yeah.
Francis
Foreplay presented by Nvidia. I saw old, old Sam on the good, good podcast.
Harry
Riggs.
Roan
Rigsy boy.
Francis
Yeah.
Roan
Oh, he was on this.
Francis
He went on. Good, good, nice. Come on. Our Harvard brother.
Roan
I know, I know. He. They asked me to come on and then never followed up, which was too bad.
Harry
On the Foreplay show.
Roan
Good, good, good.
Harry
I was going to say. I was like, you could probably just text them again.
Roan
The heat from the Internet Invitational is gone. Isn't that sad? What a sad realization.
Harry
It didn't seem like it when we were at the golf course.
Roan
I'm talking about. I'm talking about, like, people were coming.
Harry
Up to you, kissing your feet.
Roan
No.
Francis
Well, things you can get from it.
Roan
I'm just talking about how. What I've learned in this career is that, like, you never make it. You have to keep making it.
Francis
At least you had a wave off of that.
Roan
You get a wave, but the wave's gone, dude.
Francis
I went on that Kai Sonat stream being like. Like, I might never come back. I was like, I might never see these guys again. Like, I kind of, like, walked out of the studio that day and, like, cried a single tear. I was like, I'm probably never gonna see these guys again. But, like, they're gonna. I really thought you guys are gonna be okay. I was like, they're gonna be all right because, like, they kind of have something going. I didn't get one follower. I didn't get any. Anything from it. No one has ever mentioned or noticed it.
Roan
I thought that from season one of Tires, too. I had the same thought.
Francis
I was like, prepare for lift off.
Roan
Rehearsing my speech on how I was going to tell Dave I wasn't renewing my cost.
Francis
There's just so much money.
Roan
Sure.
Francis
Businessman to businessman. Yeah.
Harry
You can see the potential growth here.
Francis
Yeah. You at least had, like, months of being able to get stuff and LeBron's watching you and your bank account gets fatter and you have access to things you didn't have before and you're recognized.
Roan
No, continentally it was better than the Kaiser not stream. No doubt about it. Based on what you're saying, yes, it was a far richer time for me. But it's gone.
Harry
It's got.
Roan
Heat's gone.
Harry
If they do it again next year.
Roan
I'll have to win.
Harry
It comes right back.
Roan
I'll have to win again.
Harry
Yeah, but you'll, you'll be coasting for before the tournament for like a month.
Roan
Why?
Harry
Buzzing.
Francis
I'm kind of with Francis. I think that like once there's a new field, there's going to be like bigger competitors. You'll be back. But if you don't win again.
Roan
Yeah.
Francis
Or at least have a run. But even if you have a run, like you damn near have to make.
Roan
The, the, you got another finals.
Francis
The finals.
Roan
Yeah.
Francis
If you're not in that other three, no one's gonna remember you.
Roan
Yeah.
Harry
There's part of you like because you know how stressful it was winning the first time is part is part of you almost like I don't even want to be back in the situation.
Roan
No. This time I actually think I will be far less stressed. Even if I were to make it all the way to the final again. I have the feeling that because I was there once it would be, it would be, I'd be like familiar. We're playing the. Well actually I'm not going to say anything yet. Don't fuck. I don't want to give anything away.
Harry
You said we're playing and then you didn't say anything.
Roan
Yeah. I don't know what I'm allowed to talk about but like.
Francis
Yeah, I think it's, I think saying less is smart.
Roan
Yeah.
Harry
We had to sign an NDA after.
Roan
We left Orlando about their airport. Yeah.
Harry
Yeah.
Francis
But ski. How that out the window.
Harry
How awful. How crazy was that? I, I, I knew J. Will obviously from your show, but I didn't know much about him.
Francis
He's hilarious.
Harry
Yeah, he's hilarious. But isn't that so weird that I, we, I came in like we took a flight to Orlando and back and I came in to about it and he was like I do that every Monday.
Roan
Yeah.
Harry
It's like what are the. There's probably not that many people that are flying to Orlando and back every week.
Francis
No, he might be the only one.
Harry
He might be the only one.
Francis
Actually there's probably some New York business people.
Roan
I try to think about how that would feel.
Harry
I think that ruined my week.
Roan
That's.
Harry
I'm going to be honest. I'm never doing that again.
Roan
No.
Harry
I felt so bad.
Francis
Really.
Harry
I couldn't fathom doing that every week. Like, I still. I feel like shit right now. And I'm thinking about it. I'm like, yeah, it's the fleet. Was the flight on Monday? Yeah, you flew, bro. It was just the. It's a three hour flight.
Francis
Three hours is a lot. Six hours in the air.
Harry
And that way back, it was like every bone in my body hurt.
Francis
Yeah.
Roan
It wasn't.
Harry
We went straight from the airport to the course back to the airport.
Francis
Right. You're sore from playing golf?
Harry
Yeah.
Francis
Are you sore?
Roan
I don't feel great.
Harry
I'm not sore now.
Roan
I had to quit weed. How bad? I was like. I was like medicating with ice cream.
Harry
I feel like it, like, up your, like, brain. Flying that much in a day.
Roan
Certainly my lower back. Yeah, that's my big issue is my lower back gets really uncomfortable.
Harry
Like it was my legs screaming on that flight back.
Francis
Really scream. When was the last time you stretched?
Roan
I'm gonna read you guys something fun.
Harry
Not in a. Not in a while, but I have been working out, which has been good.
Roan
So the other. The other problem with the weed was that. I want to hear more about that.
Harry
Oh, there's not much to hear.
Roan
Just put a pin.
Harry
Pathetic.
Roan
I think you guys will think this is funny.
Harry
Pathetic workouts.
Roan
The other problem with the weed is that I. That's when I start going on the. On Facebook, Marketplace and Etsy and ebay.
Harry
Yeah, yeah.
Roan
And I get into these rabbit holes of like, oh, my God, I do need better nightstands.
Harry
Oh, yeah, yeah, of course.
Roan
Burl Wood nightstands from Constant Poplar. Burlwood.
Harry
I don't even know what. You should have seen the shit Francis was looking at on his. On his eye the whole flight.
Roan
Tell them. I was. What was I doing the whole flight?
Harry
Burlwood, I couldn't tell you shit that I've never seen.
Roan
I was looking at lamps. I think I was looking at lamps.
Harry
You were looking at every poplar.
Roan
This. Look at these nightstands, dude.
Francis
Some strange fruit hanging from these, brother.
Roan
Look at these nightstands. Oh, my God. From Aiden. I can't believe he's giving them up. For what? He's what? What? He's willing to sell them for, but how much? Well, he's willing to sell them for 2,000 bucks for the pair. But, bro, you could like, they retail for 8,000 and they're unused.75% off, as he put it. He accidentally, what is used versa. I don't understand how that happens. I don't think that this furniture company in Italy sends you an extra set of $8,000 nightstands like it's a. A vending machine spitting out two Cokes by accident.
Harry
This makes more sense as to why it was $16,000.
Francis
Yeah, well, I'll sell them at a 75% markdown.
Roan
I got to show you, these nights.
Francis
I won't return them for full price. I'll sell them to Francis.
Roan
Why can't I?
Francis
They're Poplar.
Roan
Oh, there it is. Listing. Okay, so look at this, dude. Look at these ghosts.
Francis
Just take a look at those night bongos.
Roan
So look at those nightstands. So I'm going to tell you, I. I was like, oh, my God, I got to have these nightstands.
Harry
Is this like a bedside table? Like that kind of thing?
Roan
I was like, I hate my nightstands. I can't even close my $89 retail. I have those barn doors up in the upstate, and I can't close them because the nightstand comes too close to the wall that I have. It's too big.
Harry
I think they got those at target for, like, 999 each.
Roan
Yeah, well, the point is, this is what. This is what it came to last night. He sent it. He's like, we're me. Let's meet tomorrow. I'll, you know, do the handoff. Yeah. I'm like, wow, you're kind of 45 minutes in the wrong direction for me at this point. I'm trying to almost. I'm getting cold feet because I'm like, I gotta stop spending money. This is what I fucking do. I've done it again. And he's like, all right, I'll come to you. And then finally, 1045, I had brushed my teeth, and I went back to my phone, and I wrote, I'm sorry, Aiden. I've gotten cold feet. I got ahead of myself. These are so stunning, and I want them very badly.
Francis
Are you letting them down easy?
Roan
But I can't afford them right now. I apologize. Thank you for being fair with me. I'm sorry for leading you on a false trail. I wrote that to him.
Francis
He said, save it. I'm gonna be there in the morning. You better have my 2,000.
Roan
He goes, okay, no worries. If you want to take a few days to think, let me know. And let me tell you something. I'm gonna buy him today, right back in. Nothing like a little fresh air. Steal the Nerve.
Francis
One cocktail in.
Roan
I want these. I need these. I want these nightstands.
Francis
Well, I mean this when I say it. I think that those are the thing that's gonna make.
Harry
That's gonna make them what?
Francis
Happy?
Roan
Certainly not a woman, I'll tell you that.
Francis
I'm pretty sure that's the one thing that you are away from. True, actual happiness. And once you get them, it's like you're gonna just lock in and it's all going to be at peace. And it'll be the missing puzzle piece.
Roan
Yeah.
Francis
That you've been missing.
Roan
That's the last obstacle before I become a good father and a good son. Yeah.
Harry
Francis.
Roan
Soon as I have those, let me bought.
Harry
Let me build you a computer, a supercomputer. But you have to pay for the whole thing.
Roan
Talk. Tell me. Tell me more.
Harry
Well, I mean, that's pretty much that was it.
Francis
I thought. Didn't Jerry just say that PCs are going to be dead in, like, six months or something like that?
Harry
Jerry?
Francis
Yeah, I think he said that.
Harry
Somewhere, Jerry got a PC and didn't know how to turn it on. And he returned it.
Francis
He said, AI is going to kill PCs.
Harry
Well, they're saying that about. That's what they want to happen, but that's not going to happen.
Roan
By the way, Harry pulled out his Steam Deck on the flight home from Orlando. I mean, the lights on the plane turned off. I don't know what.
Francis
Down 10,000ft.
Roan
I don't know what that thing is. What kind of black magic box you got going on there. That thing is too powerful for your own good.
Harry
It's sick.
Roan
What the. He pulled this thing out, and I'm like, oh, my God, what is that? And he's like, this is my steam.
Harry
Yeah, it's a computer.
Roan
And then he just used it to charge his phone.
Francis
That's what you used it for.
Roan
Just used it. And let me tell you something. His phone was at zero, and then it was at 100 in the blink of an eye.
Harry
Yeah.
Francis
Yeah. Because there's probably a missile's worth of technology.
Roan
The hairs on my arm started to stand up just from sitting next to it.
Harry
I bring that thing everywhere.
Roan
That thing is crazy. And he showed. He's like, it's just a computer. And it truly was.
Harry
It had some Windows, like the homepage.
Roan
It had the desktop interface of a fucking Windows computer.
Francis
The fuck?
Harry
It's pretty sick.
Roan
I've never seen anything like it.
Francis
Yeah, but you'll get, like, a heart arrhythmia from sitting next to it.
Roan
That's true, that's true.
Francis
The electromagnetic field, that's going to throw off the radar.
Roan
That thing would have gotten our whole family out of the ice storm of 98%. No doubt about it. I.
Harry
The charger. So that thing, it's like the thing. The one downside of that thing is it's the, the battery life on it is awful.
Francis
I wonder why.
Harry
Yeah. Which is kind of understandable. But the charger, it comes with its own like power supply charger. And it's this big ass dude, I can charge like my phone off of that. It literally charges in like five minutes.
Roan
Yeah, it's.
Harry
I think it pulls like a hundred watts of electricity.
Roan
Well, that's not very many.
Harry
That's a lot. Is it a hundred?
Francis
Isn't that like a light bulb isn't.
Roan
A standard American outlet.
Harry
You might be 110, I might be way off.
Roan
And then I think, I think the.
Harry
Max an hour you can take is like 1100 or 1200.
Roan
Oh, I may be wrong. Owen, would you do us a favor? I might check that out. I thought American outlets were 110 and I think Europeans.
Harry
I would like to.
Francis
Oh, I thought Europeans were worse because every time I've ever plugged in my hair dryer in Europe, the whole floor of the hotel goes off. Yeah, by me, I mean my wife, you.
Roan
The outlets in Europe fry our devices because they have so much. They have double the current. Really. So you need a step up converter. 110, 20.
Francis
My boy knows electricity.
Harry
I know, I just got outplayed.
Roan
Well, there was a. There's a re. This information is close at hand for me because someone sent me that Harrods, the London store was having a sale on the line.
Harry
Have you been. Yep, same. It's sick.
Roan
That place is cool.
Francis
What are we talking about? What's Harrods? I don't know.
Harry
It's like a massive fucking store.
Roan
It's like very high end shit. But it's like. I don't even know what you'd compare it to. We don't have anything like it.
Harry
It's like if a Macy's was really nice and also triple the size.
Roan
Imagine.
Harry
And also the center of New York City.
Roan
Chelsea. Chelsea Market. If it was all one store. Kind of like that.
Francis
That sounds sick.
Roan
Yeah. And with really high end stuff.
Francis
I thought, I thought they sold clothing. But they're selling.
Roan
They do, but they also protectors. They sell like they sell everything. Home decor, they sell chimneys. You could buy a fire, a marble, like a $40,000 marble fireplace. There you can buy soccer jerseys, all that kind of stuff. Yeah.
Francis
So it's like rich Walmart.
Roan
Yeah.
Harry
Yes.
Roan
They're famous.
Harry
Exactly.
Roan
They're famous for their tins of cookies that have like the bear and the red phone booths and very British.
Harry
Yeah, yeah.
Roan
But Harrods was having a sale on the La Marzocco machine that I bought.
Harry
Oh, yeah.
Roan
To me. And then I called them and I was like, how come you can't. Why does it say when I put this in my shopping cart that you don't deliver to my address in the United States? And he goes, because they're wired for European outlets. And he's like, listen, if you want to take the risk, I will sell you the machine.
Harry
Yeah.
Roan
And he was. And I was like, well, what if I buy it? Because I said, what if I buy a step down converter which would convert less. No. Excuse me. I would have needed to step up from our outlets from 110 to step it up to 220.
Harry
Is that a thing? Do they make that?
Roan
Yes, they do. And he was like, that's fine, but you'll void your warranty if you do that. And that freaked me out.
Francis
Because you're frying.
Harry
Yeah.
Roan
If something goes wrong, then you're warranted.
Francis
You're either frying your house or you're frying the.
Harry
Yeah.
Roan
And then people DM'd me. Have I talked about this?
Harry
I don't think so.
Roan
People DM'd me and they were like, even if you have a proper good step up converter, it doesn't cover your. Like there's another thing hurts or something that you need to consider that won't be done that way.
Harry
Maybe that's what I'm thinking of. The.
Roan
I don't know.
Harry
I don't know what I'm thinking of.
Francis
You're. You're one of our great consumers in this country.
Roan
I mean, I'm. I'm like. In the same way that there's five companies propping up the stock market. Like, yeah, there's me and like three other women in Beverly Hills single handedly holding Amazon together. Is there.
Harry
Is Sam. Is a weird question. Is Sam Altman gay? Like, is he like, outwardly gay?
Roan
Should I know? I don't follow that lifestyle, Francis.
Francis
If anyone would know. I don't.
Harry
I swear. I read something, I saw something this morning that was like, Sam Altman and his husband.
Francis
Gross.
Roan
Cool. Someone just wrote a biography. Oh, Michael Lewis is writing a biography.
Harry
Not because he's gay. Everything else.
Francis
Oh, yeah. He just sucks.
Roan
Wait a minute. It Might not be Altman. It might be Sam Bankman Fried. I get those two mixed up.
Harry
Sam Altman's open. AI.
Roan
Yeah.
Francis
Sam Bankman. Fried is like a fraud.
Roan
Fraud crypto guy.
Harry
Oh, yeah.
Roan
Who had that girlfriend.
Harry
Yeah.
Roan
Who Looks like the type of fish you would catch in the Deep South.
Francis
Yeah, Catfish.
Roan
I don't go even farther, so I don't know where they're. Whatever. You seen that girl? The one who ratted on him? I think.
Francis
I think that there. It wasn't just like a rat on.
Roan
They just released her.
Francis
He did. Oh, shit.
Harry
Wait. No, I know exactly what you're talking.
Roan
Yeah, let me look.
Francis
What was she. They were like. He was like the Tom. The company that Tom Brady, like, invested.
Roan
In or something like that.
Francis
Ftx.
Roan
Yeah, Right.
Harry
Yeah.
Roan
Caroline Ellis dead.
Harry
No, I didn't know if he killed himself.
Francis
I think he's locked up because, remember, they all died.
Roan
This girl.
Harry
Yeah, yeah, I remember that. I remember seeing her photo like, a trillion times.
Francis
Wasn't she the girl that got, like, piped by, like, five police officers or something? Or that a different girl?
Harry
I think that's a different person.
Roan
I don't think it's horribly mean. Well, maybe she was. She. She was pretty guilty too, right? Didn't she.
Francis
Do you can be mean to guilty people?
Harry
I think they, like, destroyed, like, millions of people's lives.
Francis
Yeah, for sure. But at least she got to go to fucking Cabo or whatever.
Roan
She pled guilty to two fraud charges.
Francis
Least she got fraudulent on an island for a little bit.
Roan
Two years in prison.
Francis
They probably snuck a little bit of that cash away. She'll probably come home to a pretty cushy landing spot.
Roan
Yeah.
Harry
When you're dealing with that kind of money, there's no way you're not hiding away. Just.
Francis
Where did it all go? You know what I mean? Where does the money go?
Roan
What?
Francis
It gets seized, backed by the United States. Yeah. And our taxes are still high. Nah, bro.
Harry
Shit ain't right.
Francis
Shit ain't right.
Roan
I never really understood that either.
Francis
Where does the money go?
Harry
One time they claim it goes to, like, evidence, but it doesn't.
Francis
Yeah, there's.
Harry
There's like, what are you gonna. Where are you gonna keep. Where are you gonna store $20 billion?
Francis
There's a locker back here.
Harry
Yeah.
Roan
When I was at the DA's office one time, one. My assignment for the day was to actually drive out with a cop to this evidence compound in. On Long Island. And it was all these cars. It was all these cars that had been seized and they had belonged to drug dealers or whatever, criminals. And it was just row after row of like pimped out.
Harry
Yeah, yeah.
Roan
Mercedes with blacked out tinted windows and crazy rims and, you know, some really sick cars, but some of them had like bullet holes in them.
Harry
Yeah, of course.
Roan
And so there was. They were evidence and stuff. But I was like, what happens? What happens to these fucking police auction.
Francis
They get bought cheap by cops who sell them expensive back to the hood.
Roan
Is that right?
Francis
It's gotta be.
Harry
I think that happens.
Francis
It's gotta be what's going on.
Harry
It's like some dude at the. That works at the pound. He's like, this car there. This car got brought in here eight years ago. They're never coming for it. Sells it.
Roan
It's gotta be that they do that, that they. There is some sort of an auction.
Harry
I mean, I think it's like it 100% used to happen. I guess it's more of if it happens now.
Roan
Should we go to one of those?
Francis
Yeah, but it'll probably be fucking Raymond Calitri in there being like, I need my cars.
Roan
Yeah, they know and they know more than we do.
Francis
Right.
Harry
And you definitely don't want to buy someone else's car.
Francis
Do you remember who. What Raymond. Raymond Calitri was from? No. Gone in 60 seconds. He's the guy who's like obsessed with wood and he's like.
Roan
Bad guy.
Francis
Yeah, the bad guy. He needed his 50 cars.
Harry
Yeah, I don't think I've seen that.
Francis
You've never seen 160 seconds, bro.
Roan
You got a treat waiting.
Harry
Have I seen it?
Roan
That's a treat, bro.
Francis
That's Nicholas Cage. That's Nicholas Cage. Angelina Jolie with some dreadlock.
Harry
I don't know. That's not really my thing.
Francis
What?
Harry
Jolie with dreads.
Roan
Oh, she pulled off.
Francis
Who made that blonde dreadlock? She pulls it off, dude, bro, that's not your thing.
Roan
Boosting cars or having sex? What about having sex? Wow.
Harry
Facts.
Francis
And she. And then she rides out. She rides out in a cage, bro. In the front seat of the car while they're stealing.
Roan
Yeah.
Francis
So sick.
Roan
It's really good.
Francis
Who else is in? There's some fucking studs.
Roan
The guy, the British soccer player who played for Leeds United. Yes, that guy who was on all his gangster movies.
Francis
Yeah, the tough guy who's in lock soccer.
Roan
Yes, that shit. Who? Vinnie Jones is in it.
Francis
Shy McBride is in it.
Roan
The Oliphant is the assistant, I think, to the. The black cop.
Francis
Yes, yes, he is Timothy Oliphant. Yeah, he's great.
Roan
Is that right?
Francis
How have you never seen going to 60 seconds?
Harry
I don't know.
Francis
Treat yourself.
Roan
That's a really good one. That was a classic.
Francis
Don't watch the Patriots this weekend. Treat yourself to Nick Cage and Jolie banging on the stick shift.
Roan
You won't know this.
Francis
Scott Khan.
Roan
Oh, it is him. Yeah.
Francis
Scott Gone's in there.
Roan
There. There was a time Academy when there was this. There was a.
Francis
But there's a what?
Harry
You guys ever around with Khan Academy?
Roan
Yes. Yeah.
Francis
What is that?
Harry
I used to aid in Harvard.
Francis
Right.
Roan
Tutoring. I don't know about that.
Harry
I think Khan went to Harvard.
Roan
He may have, but he was really smart.
Francis
James.
Harry
Genius. No, I was like a tutor. It was like an online, like, tutoring Noah or learning thing. I don't know.
Francis
What were you gonna say? You were saying, you may not know.
Roan
This, you may not know this, but there was a time when there was a channel on cable called TBS SuperStation.
Harry
Yeah. Not ringing any bells.
Roan
There was also.
Harry
But I know tbs. Yeah. I know tnt.
Roan
Yeah. And then USA Network, of course. And these were channels that would feature movies like gone in 60 seconds.
Harry
Oh, yeah. If you go. If you go on. On the road, TNT is the first station you're checking.
Roan
And when you came upon that, no matter how many times you'd seen it, you would watch that movie from that point till the end.
Harry
Makes sense.
Francis
There were several movies like that. Like the Patriot.
Roan
The Patriot Gladiator.
Francis
You always throw those on Jaws.
Roan
They would often play Jaws.
Harry
Classic.
Roan
Oh, it's unbelievable.
Harry
Such a good movie. Such a shame about the other ones, though. Second one's not bad. The third one is awful.
Roan
Independence Day.
Francis
Yeah, Always on.
Roan
Would you see that? Did you see Independence Day?
Harry
Is that the Marky Mark one?
Francis
No, it's Will Smith. What's the.
Roan
I probably seen that movie more. More times than I've ever seen any other movie in my.
Francis
What's the Patriots?
Harry
And Bombing one. Patriots.
Roan
Tastes great. Patriots, Four Brothers.
Francis
I've never seen all of Jaws.
Harry
Really?
Francis
That.
Roan
It's a perfect movie.
Harry
I don't.
Francis
I don't like being spooked and I don't like ocean movies, so it's pretty spooky that.
Harry
That the jump scare in that movie is. It scares me every single time.
Roan
Dead body in the water. Yeah. Yeah. For sure.
Harry
And it, like, scares me down to, like, my core.
Roan
I know. My same thing happened to me the first time I saw it.
Francis
You screamed. I also don't think I've ever had an entire pint of Ice cream in my life.
Roan
Really?
Francis
I've never polished a pint.
Roan
That's a. That's unbelievable.
Harry
I think I've ever. I've never even polished half a pint. But I'm not also just not a big ice cream guy. Never have been.
Francis
But I hear people doing it like, so regularly. I feel like Big Cat was.
Harry
Oh, yeah. But it's always like healthy people. Like, that's like they're. And they're probably on to something. I.
Francis
For some reason I'm thinking of Big Cat and kfc.
Harry
Yeah. Maybe not the best example.
Roan
You just use the pint as your bowl and there's. You have no chance then you to get up to put it away. You see what I'm saying? Yeah. And by that point, you're down towards the bottom and it's the perfect soupiness.
Harry
The thing is, I don't. My refrigerator doesn't get cold enough to keep ice cream in it.
Roan
You don't have a fridge freezer.
Harry
I don't have a freezer.
Roan
Well, I wouldn't keep my ice cream in a fridge.
Harry
Obviously not. But mine, you know, there's. I have my little latch over the.
Francis
Top level with crusty.
Harry
Yeah, that's not gonna.
Roan
That's not gonna do that.
Harry
Wouldn't keep a popsicle cold.
Roan
No, you. That's a benefit. But your problem is then that you eat candy and you go, whole bag of gummy candy.
Harry
No, I never. I. I rarely go.
Roan
You said that you did night. It hurt your.
Francis
You said you did a one a night. You said you order multiple off of doordash or off of.
Harry
I'll leave a couple at the bottom.
Roan
Oh, so. So just nothing that you've told us is true.
Harry
I'll leave a couple pieces at the.
Francis
Bottom just as a show of self.
Harry
Just so when I wake up in the morning, I'm like, oh, breakfast. Yeah.
Francis
Just tucking it away.
Roan
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. This was bad. So I saw this just came across my feed. I don't know why, but this. This fitness test that was. It was a burpee test. And it's an emom, which means every minute on the minute and you do 15 burpees.
Francis
Nah.
Roan
And then you do. And then you rest until the next minute starts and you go again.
Harry
Yeah.
Roan
And they have sort of tears for how good this is. And like Jason Calipa, one of those CrossFit games. I think he's the guy who won it or maybe whatever.
Francis
He.
Roan
He does this as his test of, like, how in shape is he. And he'll get to 10 and 10.
Francis
Minutes of 15 burpees. Every minute on the minute.
Roan
Every minute on the minute burpees. 10 minutes at a good pace. You're getting like 13, 14 seconds of rest in between and then starting again.
Harry
That ain't enough.
Roan
And I did this.
Francis
How many did you.
Roan
Well, they said. They said that. They put it. They said three is the minimum. I don't know what that even means, but three is the minimum. Five is good.
Harry
I bet zero below three.
Francis
Zero's got to be the minimum, right?
Roan
Five is. They said five is good. And then like seven to ten is like elite. And I got four.
Harry
That's not bad.
Roan
I mean, I was like, as someone.
Francis
Who'S just doing shitty workouts, like, yeah, that's not bad.
Roan
I was on the verge of fainting. It was as hard as. I've pushed myself in in a long time.
Harry
It's just.
Roan
Hell.
Harry
It's like that. That sounds like. That sounds like the equivalent to doing that bike for 10 minutes, the assault bike.
Francis
Yeah, I think it's way harder than that.
Roan
It's harder than that because you can pace. You can do whatever pace you want. This. You have to.
Francis
I don't even think I could do it with. I. I wouldn't even be able to do the 15 in the. The time.
Harry
I don't think I'll be able to do it in an hour.
Roan
They. The one. The one thing that they specified. Normally when I do burpees, I do the. I get up and I jump and try to touch.
Francis
Can we see what the burpee form was on this?
Roan
And then on this one, they say you don't actually have to jump, which kind of surprised me.
Francis
But can we see what the form was like? Just so I know.
Harry
I honestly feel like. I think we've. I think this is not the first time you've done a burpee on.
Francis
No, no, he did it. No, he did the kettlebell swings.
Harry
No, I think I want to say we've got the full burpee.
Francis
But. But you said there's no jump.
Roan
They don't jump. I. They don't have to jump. But I, I know. So I didn't. I didn't in this. But when I'm doing burpees on my own, I jump.
Harry
Interesting.
Francis
So you weren't jumping. So you just stood. Drop down to the push up.
Roan
Yeah, you, You, I. You kind of stand up to finish the rep was how I was doing it. Just to make sure you're like, you're. You can't Stay bent over and then just get back down on the ground.
Harry
But no, then you're just doing push ups.
Francis
I just followed a guy online who's on his journey to doing 100,000 push ups and he's showing progress reports after every 10 push ups on Instagram. It's insane. He's getting jacked.
Roan
What does that even, like, over how much time?
Francis
I mean, he'll do like 250 a day, but it's just like. And it'll just be like 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60. I mean, he's getting so fucking jacked. Jacked.
Roan
It's, it's just push ups.
Harry
I think you can get jacked from doing just push ups.
Roan
If I could only do one exercise in the world, I would do pull ups over push ups.
Francis
I'm also following a guy who's trying to eat 90,000 grams of oats in a week. It's nuts.
Roan
I love, I love the people you're into.
Harry
They're just quantity shooting.
Francis
He's quant. He's just. Yeah. And he's, he's like, he's a, a Canadian dude who's training to be an Olympic cyclist. And so he'll just like bake a sheet of oats and then go for 120 mile bike ride and just eat it the entire time. But he's making oat risotto or like spicy oats. It made me think of you, honestly, like a oat risotto. I feel like you could do some, some freaky. Like that.
Harry
Oh, oh, risotto sounds awful.
Roan
It sounds awful. Cheesy.
Harry
It sounds unbearable.
Roan
If you saw the salad I made myself last night, it was just to get rid of food.
Harry
Yeah.
Roan
And so, because I had. So I had whatever was left in this huge salad bin and I just put that in a family sized serving salad bowl. And then I went a whole bag of microwavable broccoli that I air fried. Dumped all that in. Whole sweet potato, big fat ones.
Harry
That's where you're losing me.
Roan
Avocado. And then a package of turkey.
Harry
Of turkey.
Roan
A whole package of turkey. I just dumped all these in and then cut it all up. Yeah. Excised smoked turkey.
Harry
Oh, yeah.
Francis
What was your dressing?
Roan
I just went olive oil and balsamic and then salt, pepper.
Francis
Doesn't sound bad.
Roan
Three quarters of the way through eating this salad, I was like, this is an outrageous amount of food. I really. It was like, it's salad and I am so full.
Harry
Yeah.
Roan
And I was like, but I'm not gonna throw it away.
Harry
Yeah.
Roan
And I ate the rest of it. And because I made myself so full from that last night was the first night of the week that I did not eat a full pint of ice cream.
Harry
Because you had too much salad.
Roan
Yeah, I was so full. Yeah.
Harry
That's crazy.
Francis
How much. How much greens was it? How many? What, like a head of lettuce?
Roan
Yeah, probably.
Francis
Oh, my God. Beautiful shit this morning.
Roan
I've gone three times so far today.
Harry
Damn.
Roan
I don't know what's going. That's the ice cream.
Francis
That's what the.
Harry
Oh, probably a mix of both. Yeah, probably salad and ice cream.
Roan
That's the ice cream catching up to me.
Francis
It really shows which one you had more of. Like, is there enough salad to bind your ice cream shit or is there enough ice cream shit to make your salad shit watery?
Roan
I. You'd think they would cancel each other out and I would. I would just throw up or something.
Francis
Need to get eyes on your.
Roan
Yeah.
Francis
My bro who's eating all the. Who's eating all the oats, said he has been like a maniac.
Roan
Yeah.
Francis
Do those. Have you like that?
Roan
The oats? Yeah, Well, I do. Normally I eat that. Yeah, I do eat those every morning.
Harry
They got a bunch of fiber in them, right?
Francis
Big time.
Roan
I don't know.
Francis
Big time. A lot of fiber.
Roan
Probably.
Harry
You haven't. Steel cut.
Roan
No, I don't like the texture. I'm supposed. You're supposed to eat that. That's the healthiest one. But I just don't.
Francis
It's.
Roan
I feel too much like a horse when I eat that. I like the old fashioned.
Harry
They're so plain.
Roan
Yeah.
Harry
There's just nothing to them.
Roan
There's also crunchy. Well, that's why I put a whole banana blueberries. And then I do a scoop of almond butter as well.
Harry
Nice.
Roan
A little agave on top. Oh, and then I do some of my fucking purely Elizabeth granola on top as well.
Harry
I'm a big on granola right now. Just yogurt and granola.
Roan
Nice.
Harry
Every day.
Francis
He hasn't told us about his workouts yet.
Roan
Oh, tell us.
Harry
Oh, there's really nothing to tell. I just do whatever I feel like doing.
Roan
Would you ever let me train you? No. Just like once a week. For content?
Harry
Definitely not.
Francis
How about not?
Harry
I gotta just go.
Francis
What's more likely for content or not for content?
Harry
Definitely for content.
Roan
Yeah.
Francis
Okay. Full content it is.
Roan
Yeah. I just think that. I just think that I could actually be nice about it. No, I'm not.
Harry
Well, I. You.
Roan
And then that could Stand for, like, while you're getting in shape. People could follow along and get in shape.
Harry
I will, I will. I will never work out if I'd have to do it for content. I think it's just not. I think I just won't.
Roan
I won't be able to, like, sold it as, like, oh, 10, 10 videos of Francis and Harry.
Harry
We had to do that for that whoop thing, like, years ago. And I was actively working out a ton, and we did that. I was like, this is humiliating. Humiliating.
Roan
I think we could make it fun.
Francis
Or you can also burpees. That look good.
Harry
Yeah, you're gonna make it look fun.
Roan
Burpees. That's the thing. I wouldn't. And that's what people ask me for the war workout. And I'm like, I don't.
Harry
You can't handle it.
Roan
I don't think people.
Harry
You gotta start issuing a warning.
Roan
Yeah, you need to go through at least a divorce first.
Francis
It's like P90X. Wasn't there a warning at the start of workout?
Harry
Yeah, I think so.
Roan
Yeah. You turn to when you're at rock bottom.
Francis
Like, have you seen the divorce glow up videos on the Internet where people are like, the divorce effect. And it's just these, like, women who are just filming themselves crying for 14 years straight, and then they, like, break out and are, like, suddenly hot again.
Roan
Really? No. Is it more women or men?
Francis
It's mostly women, but there are a couple of fellows that have. Have done it.
Roan
I called Roan about this. Harry. Oh, you got to go to the bathroom. Okay. Well, I called Roan about this. That one of our favorite reality TV stars, I guess you'd say, couples, is getting divorced. Kyle and Amanda from Summer House.
Francis
I know we couldn't have been more. I couldn't have been more excited.
Roan
And I called Roan to specifically ask his wife about it, and he was like, wait a minute. You think I don't know this? And I was like, put her on. And they put her on speakerphone. And Ron knew so much more than she did.
Francis
I've been tapped in.
Roan
You knew everything there was to know.
Francis
Because I've been tapped into Summer House for a decade. Oh, I'm tapped in. But I mean, it's exciting because you see the way that you saw the way that he treated her from time to time. It didn't seem the nicest way to treat somebody.
Roan
Well, now you're seeing all these compilations of, like, five times that Kyle was an to Amanda. You look at it, you're like, oh, my God.
Francis
Because he was like. Like I haven't hit on someone for the last multiple months. And she's like, we've been together for years. Yeah. Yeah.
Roan
That was the really bad one.
Francis
Oh, man. She was like, congratulations. Or just he. Or he woke up at a fancy. Slept over at a fan's house or something.
Roan
Yeah.
Francis
And all her girlfriends are like, hey, love yourself. You know what I mean? Love yourself enough to be loved by someone.
Roan
Yeah, I don't know. I mean, it's too bad, but. But look, you put yourself into that world. Everything you do and everything, you know, that's all gonna. It's all fair game.
Francis
I wonder if she likes comedians.
Roan
Doubt it.
Francis
Yeah, comedians are great though. And that show is great. I can't wait to see this next season. But it is conveniently set up. The timing of that and the fact that Paige just broke up with. You know what I mean?
Roan
What? Yeah. Yeah, I think Paige has a boyfriend. No.
Francis
Yeah, but she broke up. And then the next season, Amanda breaks up, you know.
Roan
Oh, I see.
Francis
It's like that John Mayer song, Another Kind of Green.
Roan
What's that?
Francis
It's like an unreleased John Mayer song.
Roan
Oh, okay. Well, don't.
Francis
See I can go gayer than you, bro. It's like super gay. Because you watch gay movies. Like, I'll go. I'll go. I'll talk about unreleased John Mayer track and the happenings of a decade worth of reality tv, bro. I'm as gay as the next guy. Gayer.
Harry
Gayer.
Francis
On some fronts, of course. What's the gayest shit you do?
Harry
Nothing.
Francis
Don't say that.
Harry
Straight as hell. Straight as an arrow.
Roan
Boring.
Francis
You have the posture of a closeted gay.
Harry
Definitely not.
Roan
You're bottom.
Harry
The posture of a deeply straight man.
Roan
You're definitely a bottom though.
Francis
Lazy.
Harry
I wouldn't you. Why wouldn't.
Roan
Now?
Harry
I don't even know what that means.
Francis
Lazy. Gay.
Roan
Don't even pretend.
Francis
Yes, just the sub. Just fully submissive, powerless bottom now.
Harry
Not me. You got the wrong guy.
Francis
Oh, so you're a power bottom? You'd rather be that? Trust me, I'm trying to help you, dude. I'm trying to help you out. Just admit your power bottom, bro.
Harry
No.
Francis
Just come clean or else we're all going to get detention.
Harry
No, no, no, no.
Roan
Big weekend of ball.
Francis
It's over now. This is coming out.
Roan
Oh, shit.
Francis
After that.
Roan
Sorry everyone. Yeah.
Harry
Hopefully the Patriots won.
Francis
Yeah, if they do. Are you going to the Super Bowl?
Harry
Probably.
Francis
You're going to go to the game?
Harry
If the Patriots are in it I might.
Francis
Really. So when are you going to fly out to San Francisco?
Roan
I don't know.
Harry
When is it?
Francis
Two weeks.
Harry
Yeah. Two weeks from Sunday.
Francis
You know how it is every year.
Roan
So when.
Harry
Where would that put us on the calendar? Mid Feb.
Francis
The week.
Harry
Second week of Feb.
Francis
The week before Valentine's Day. But get this. Next year, the super bowl is on Valentine's Day.
Roan
No way.
Francis
Men against women. Mars against Venus. For.
Harry
For real.
Francis
It really is, like, who. It's. It's going to show you where all of your friends are at in their relationships. For real. Like, who wins.
Harry
There's going to be a lot of fans just not watching the Super Bowl.
Francis
I didn't even know it was on this year.
Roan
That's great.
Francis
That's so fucked.
Roan
Yeah. Harry, can you tell us about this Telluride Bush hat? That's pretty cool.
Francis
Oh, yeah, these are.
Harry
These are on sale now. I think they're actually almost out. Sold out. So if they're still available when you see this, you can get them at the barstool store.
Roan
Yeah. And I would buy them now because I currently actually put in a. A patent case with the mountain Telluride to sue Game Push gaming.
Francis
That's funny because I've won with George W. Oh. Class action against Telluride. Bush.
Roan
Yeah.
Francis
Well, on them before.
Roan
Do you know what I learned recently is that actually I've kind of given away. But I was gonna say which president, which living president would you have guessed receives the most death threats?
Harry
Obama.
Roan
Nope.
Francis
It's Bush.
Roan
It's Bush. It's Bush. And it's because of 9 11.
Harry
Yeah, that makes sense.
Roan
And I. I think it's a combination.
Francis
Of conspiracy theorists and Saudis.
Roan
Yeah. The Arab world, as well as victims from then. Who.
Harry
Yeah.
Roan
Who believe that he was somehow responsible or like whatever. People who are mad that they lost.
Harry
Yeah.
Roan
A loved one in the wars that he started.
Francis
But, you know, he doesn't give a fuck. He's like, do something.
Roan
Yeah.
Harry
He's like hunting in fucking Texas.
Francis
Yeah. Painting.
Roan
Yeah. He's pretty old now. He's probably.
Francis
They're all, you know, they're all the same age. Every president has been the same age.
Roan
Really?
Francis
They're all like born in the same year.
Roan
I bet he's like, what, like Biden now would be my guess.
Harry
Trump, Clinton, Bush.
Francis
Yeah.
Harry
Yeah, I could see that for sure.
Francis
Maybe Obama.
Harry
No, Obama's got to be younger.
Francis
A little bit younger. But I think all those dudes are the same age.
Roan
That's 79.
Francis
And how. How old is Trump how old, Biden? How old? Clinton. They're all like, right.
Harry
I think they're all racial.
Roan
Yeah.
Harry
That's crazy.
Roan
We haven't had. Bill Clinton's 79.
Francis
We haven't had a new age president in a fucking minute.
Roan
No. And Trump is 79. You're spot on, Ron.
Harry
That's crazy.
Francis
Holy fucking shit. I was spot on.
Harry
You're a genius.
Francis
Thank you, fellas.
Roan
Well, boys, I'm excited for our dinner.
Francis
Yes. I heard there's a place called Undercoat.
Roan
Yeah, that's the bar. We could go there for a pop.
Francis
Get a cute drink beforehand.
Roan
Place is supposed to be very vibey.
Harry
Cool, cool. Sweet.
Francis
See you guys next time.
Roan
Yeah, stay safe out there. Well, we hope you did. God, I keep forgetting.
Harry
People in Texas are probably listening to this on a radio right now.
Francis
Yeah, they just got, like, a letter with a transcript of this.
Roan
No, right there.
Harry
Trying to find the Spotify station. All right, thanks, everyone, for listening. We will see you on Thursday.
Francis
Goodbye.
Roan
Was over still still underground so I looked older to you Came around I was only falling one way.
Francis
I was.
Roan
Only falling one way.
Francis
J.
Roan
Were drifting. Falling one way I was only falling one way that is to your eyes did you realize no one can take me alive.
Harry
I was only falling one way.
Roan
Can see I. Sa.
Host: Barstool Sports
Main Guests: Francis, Roan, Harry
Theme: Navigating adulthood, group dynamics, and self-improvement in the absence of conventional guidance
Episode #370, "The Calm," revolves around Lil Sasquatch (Francis) and his recent decision to leave college, exploring what it means to find direction (or, more often, laugh at the lack thereof) as a young man in today's world. Roan, the seasoned producer, and Harry, their friend, serve up advice, anecdotes, and comedic coaching in lieu of a traditional father figure or higher education. The trio banter about navigating real-world challenges—ranging from dinner reservations, group chats, quitting vices, to self-improvement attempts—while never drifting too far from their signature irreverent wit.
On Family Storm Survival
On Male Friendships:
On Social Currency:
On Quitting Vices
On Sexuality
On Food Habits:
On Fitness:
On Fleeting Fame:
This episode is a mix of self-deprecating humor and genuine reflection, using everyday situations (texting anxieties, unhealthy habits, dinner drama) as jumping-off points for broader conversations about male adulthood, identity, and relationships. The group grapples with filling in the gaps left by formal education and absent parental guidance, using their friendship as a substitute compass. Their comedic approach doesn’t shy away from more vulnerable admissions, making this both relatable and highly entertaining for listeners searching for laughs—and maybe a little wisdom—while navigating their own post-college “calm.”