The Meeting Man | Son of a Boy Dad #367

Summary

---

Son of a Boy Dad #367 – The Meeting Man

Release Date: January 15, 2026
Hosts: Francis, Roan, Harry (Lil Sasquatch)
Podcast by: Barstool Sports

---

Episode Overview

This episode dives into workplace dynamics, the culture of constant meetings (with Francis under fire as the self-proclaimed “meeting man”), the absurdity of LA professional culture, auditions, and millennial wellness obsessions. While Roan continues guiding Harry (Lil Sasquatch) through post-college life, the crew riffs on everything from latex kinks and AI scandals to dry January, failed Hollywood dreams, and luxury bidets. Throughout, the banter is sharp, irreverent, and self-deprecating, mirroring the show’s signature humor.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Barstool Office Hierarchy & “HQ” Confusion

• The episode opens with playful confusion about the various “HQs” Barstool has had over the years.
  • Francis: “HQ1 is Milton… HQ2 is the first New York office... This is HQ3... HQ4 is my apartment in Chicago.” (01:45)
  • Banter ensues about why the numbering system doesn’t make sense.

2. Fashion Talk & Boot Banter

• The guys clown each other about footwear, especially Roan’s “salmon” boots, quickly escalating into jokes about “women’s dress boots” and BDSM attire.
  • Francis: “Honestly, if [the boots] surpass the knees, that’s fine.” (03:40)
  • Harry: “You can’t get them off if he’s wet.” (03:50)

3. Latex, Saran Wrap, & AI “De-Clothing” Scandal

• Discussion veers into kinks (latex, saran wrap, AI-generated “declothing” of celebrities) and the ethical quagmire of AI tools (like Grok) undressing people or labeling them.
  • Roan: “What is people’s latex kink about? Why do people have, like, a fetish for latex?” (04:08)
  • They debate the harm/absurdity of AI “declothing” people online.
  • Francis: “Of all the AI things to get mad about, this one’s not the worst.” (04:51)
  • Roan: “A nippleless breast... it’s haunting.” (05:41)
  • Harry: “It’s like a German drinking game—if Grok calls you the pedophile, you gotta finish your drink.” (08:51)

4. Women’s Agency, AI, and Grok’s “Morality”

• Roan argues for sexual autonomy: “I do support women’s agency to sexualize themselves as opposed to be forced sexualized… via Grok.” (09:25)
• They riff on Grok’s surprising political bias in choosing who to “declothe” or label in pictures, attributing its views to Twitter.

5. Celebrity Culture & Jennifer Lawrence

• Tangent about Jennifer Lawrence, celebrity nudes, and “taking back agency.”
  • Harry: “If Grok put me in bikini photos, I’d just put on a bikini—regain my power.” (09:47)

6. LA vs. NY: The Absurdity of “Meetings”

• Francis becomes the target for constantly citing “meetings” as why he’s unavailable.
  • Harry: “What are all these meetings that you’re doing? Why are you the meeting guy?” (14:52)
  • Much of Francis’s “meetings” are actually informal “pop-ins.”
  • Roan: “Meeting has this gravity to it… pop-in is fun.” (16:14)
  • Francis: “For me [meetings], usually means more money.” (16:26)
• They dissect how meetings became status symbols, especially post-COVID and in LA, where meetings often mean “empty industry rituals” versus New York’s transactional directness.
  • Harry: “It’s very LA. They do lunches. In New York, meetings.” (21:06)
  • Francis: “Most meetings are nonsense.” (21:41)
• The “general meeting” in LA is lambasted as a massive waste of time.
  • Harry: “Four or five times I flew out to LA… most waste of time and money in my life.” (23:11)
  • Roan: “To be the one selling the dream… they have it, you’re just auditioning.” (23:48)

7. Hollywood Auditions & Nepotism

• Group shares war stories about fruitless auditions and nepotism in TV/film.
  • Francis: “After my White Lotus audition… that’s the last time I’m doing one of those.” (27:04)
  • Harry: “Every one of those 10-line roles goes to the nephew of an executive producer.” (28:40)
  • Roan: “Trying to be an actor now is like trying to get a job in newspapers.” (30:57)
• They ponder if writing your own role, or having a role “written for you,” is the only way forward.

8. TV Shows, Gender, & Hockey

• Discussion of new shows: “LA Girls” (the LA spin on HBO’s Girls), and the Netflix gay hockey drama.
  • Harry: “I thought it was gonna be a good sports thing…but it’s just pulpy soap opera bullshit for women.” (34:41)
  • Roan and Harry trade jokes about straight men watching gay hockey dramas as “the straightest thing” you can do (35:01).

9. Outdoor Recreation, “Fish Week,” & Life in Maine

• They muse about Maine adventures, floating/fishing ideas, and regional pride debates.
  • Francis: “Real Mainers don’t go to Kennebunkport.” (42:01)
• Mini-trip planning for “fish week,” including debates between rustic versus luxury accommodations.

10. Millennial Health: Scans, Primary Care, & Pre-Novo

• Roan shares he’s getting a full-body pre-novo scan, triggering jokes about hypochondria and the medical system.
  • Roan: “It’s like a full-body scan to, like, see what’s inside you.” (47:18)
  • Francis: “Why don’t they just have everybody do that?... That should be your physical.” (49:11)
  • Healthcare bureaucracy is lampooned, especially finding a new primary care doctor.

11. Bidets, Lime Washes, & Home Luxury

• Fierce debate over bathroom upgrades, powder rooms, and the technical finesse of lime washing.
  • Francis: “Lime washing is pretty technical.” (55:15)
  • Harry (on advanced bidets): “I don’t know that that is a full upgrade for me.” (57:04)
  • Roan’s refusal to use bidets while in Japan: “You go to Japan and you go dry ass the entire time.” (57:22)

12. Dry January, Self-Care & “Meeting” Sobriety

• Harry’s dry January leads to reflections on sleep, spending, and adult eating schedules.
  • Harry: “This has been the most eye opening Dry January for me. Really of like... I don’t know if I want to do this more than once a week going forward.” (61:09)
  • Food obsessions are compared (“I’m on my yogurt kick... yogurt and granola.” – Francis, 59:19; “I made a porterhouse. It was funny…” – Harry, 59:32).
  • Banter about macros, protein intake, and disgusting fitness diets (including tales of protein shakes and “blended chicken breast”). (69:10)

13. Betting, Sports, and Personal Stakes

• The crew pokes at each other about NFL playoff bets and “hedging” emotions with money.
  • Francis: “I like to put all my marbles on one team. I can’t hedge.” (73:47)
  • They riff on the Texans defense, sports jinxes, and the absurdity of fans’ stolen valor wearing “loser” merchandise.

14. Friendship, Cooking, & Latte Art

• Harry and Roan are invited to Francis’s for home espresso and dinner; discussions of friendship via high-end kitchen gadgets ensue.
  • Harry: “The one real benefit of extreme loneliness is you hone your hobby skills… I’m getting good at everything. All this free time to learn latte art.” (80:50)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Meeting Culture:

  • Harry (15:04): “A lot of the time they tell us we can’t record at a certain time because you have a meeting...”
  • Francis (16:25): “Maybe for you boys. For me, it usually means more money.”
  • Roan (21:01): “Meetings became currency.”

• On LA Industry Meetings:

  • Harry (23:11): “Four or five times I flew out to LA… the most waste of time and money I have ever had in my life.”
  • Francis (22:18): “People in LA—you’ll go into a meeting and they’ll just lie to your face.”

• On AI Peril:

  • Roan (05:41): “A nippleless breast… it’s haunting.”

• On Agency & AI:

  • Roan (09:27): “I do support women’s agency to sexualize themselves as opposed to be forced sexualized for… via Grok.”

• On Health and Hypochondria:

  • Francis (49:11): “Why don’t they just have everybody do [a full body scan]? That should be your physical.”
  • Roan (52:01): “I feel like they’re leaving the balls behind.”

• On Cooking & Isolation:

  • Harry (80:50): “The one real benefit of extreme loneliness is you hone your hobby skills… I’m getting good at everything.”

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Office HQs & Hierarchy: 01:26 – 03:10
• Shoe Talk & Kink Jokes: 03:12 – 04:06
• Latex Fetish & AI “Declothing”: 04:08 – 09:27
• Meetings, LA Culture, & Fake Showbiz Promises: 14:26 – 24:18
• Hollywood Auditions & Nepotism: 27:04 – 32:10
• TV Chat – Girls, Hockey Dramas: 32:29 – 36:59
• Outdoor Plans & Maine Life: 41:02 – 43:59
• Health Screening & PCP Troubles: 47:02 – 51:15
• Bidets, Lime Wash, Home Decor: 55:00 – 58:33
• Dry January & Sleep: 61:09 – 64:46
• Food Routines & Nutrition: 67:01 – 70:14
• Sports Betting & Emotional Hedging: 72:16 – 74:05
• Cooking, Friendship, & Latte Art: 80:50 – end

---

Tone & Style

The conversation is freewheeling, sarcastic, and self-aware, with constant teasing, sudden tangents, and an easy mix of pop-culture references, personal anecdotes, and ironic self-deprecation. The hosts trade stories of professional absurdity, personal quirks, and health anxieties as only seasoned millennial podcast hosts can.

---

Summary in a Nutshell

If you missed this episode, expect a classic Boy Dad blend of office culture roasting, generational anxiety, showbiz war stories, and riffing on everything from AI perversions to Maine river floats and protein Shake horrors. Francis gets hazed as the ultimate “meeting man,” Roan keeps the conversation both sharp and deadpan, and Harry keeps it weird, wistful, and compulsively confessional. There are no actionable life lessons—just the shared comfort of knowing we’re all muddling through the chaos together.

---

Transcript

[Roan]

Hey. Son of a boy. Dad. Listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.

[Harry]

Come on.

[Francis]

Oh. Test.

[Ad Read]

Out on the course, they're the PGA Tour's best players. But in the arena, they're prime time. And season two of TGL, presented by SoFi, is back with lights, cameras, action. We're talking big moments, big personalities, big names in the stands, all on the big screen. Big time matchups, shot clocks, Hammer drops timeouts, overtime and playoffs. It's city versus city, squad versus squad. The sport just hits different under the lights. It's TGL, presented by SoFi.

[Roan]

Keep up.

[Ad Read]

It's golf. Tune in to every match, only on ESPN1 2.

[Harry]

Let's go start it.

[Francis]

Oh, we're good.

[Ad Read]

Out on the course, they're the PGA tourist best players. But in the arena, they're prime time. And season two of TGL, presented by SoFi, is back with the lights, cameras, action. We're talking big moments, big personalities, big names in the stands, all on the big screen. Big time matchups with shot clocks. Hammer drops timeouts, overtime and playoffs. It's city versus city, squad versus squad. The sport just hits different under the lights. It's TGL, presented by SoFi.

[Roan]

Keep up.

[Ad Read]

It's golf. Tune in to every match, only on espn.

[Francis]

All righty. Welcome back to the Son of a Boy dad podcast. Today it is Tuesday, January 13th. We are here live from HQ3. Welcome back, everybody. How are we doing today?

[Roan]

Good.

[Harry]

Good.

[Roan]

I can't keep track of what HQs, which HQs.

[Francis]

I can give you the rundown. HQ1 is Milton. Milton tough.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

HQ2 is the first New York office.

[Roan]

Okay.

[Francis]

This is HQ3, the second New York office. HQ4 is my apartment is Chicago's office.

[Harry]

Why. Why wouldn't your apartment be before this one? Which would then make this HQ4.

[Francis]

Because we were recording here before we ever recorded at my apartment.

[Harry]

Oh, so you're applying this to the whole office, I see.

[Francis]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Roan]

So why wouldn't Chicago be HQ4 and your apartment would be.

[Francis]

Because I was in my apartment before everyone moved to Chicago.

[Roan]

Are you?

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Ad Read]

Out on the course, they're the PGA Tour's best players, but in the arena, they're prime time. And season two of TGL, presented by SoFi, is back with lights, cameras, action. We're talking big moments, big personalities, big names in the stands, all on the big screen. Big time matchups with shot clocks, Hammer drops timeouts, overtime and playoffs. It's city versus city, squad versus squad. This sport just hits different under the light. It's TGL, presented by SoFi.

[Roan]

Keep up.

[Ad Read]

It's golf. Tune in to every match only on espn.

[Roan]

Is that for sure?

[Francis]

Yeah. Been there for, like, three years.

[Roan]

But I'm saying, did we record there before everyone moved to Chicago?

[Francis]

It was like, overlap.

[Roan]

We're gonna have to carbon date that.

[Francis]

I mean, that's where HQ4 came from.

[Roan]

All right?

[Francis]

I swear.

[Roan]

Okay. Okay.

[Harry]

Man, Roan quietly dresses really well.

[Francis]

Oh, you've got the salmons. You got the SALMAN boots on.

[Roan]

Yeah, I wanted to come stun on him.

[Harry]

You got a pair coming to you.

[Francis]

So why are they so low, though?

[Harry]

Just keep acting like an asshole. You'll get more press.

[Roan]

I think they're pretty high.

[Francis]

Those are low tops. I think that these are pretty high tops. No, I want the ones that I'm thinking. I want, like, three times as high. That.

[Harry]

Yeah, we're gonna get you some full blown, like, ankle. Yeah, some. Some women's boots.

[Francis]

Yeah. Yeah, that's what I'm looking for.

[Harry]

Women's dress boots.

[Francis]

Yeah. Honestly, if it surpasses the knees, that's fine.

[Roan]

Like a BDSM type of deal.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Like, you have to, like, lace it up.

[Francis]

It takes an hour to tie them.

[Roan]

Yeah, I put a garter over that.

[Harry]

You can't get them off if he's wet.

[Francis]

Yeah, no, you barely got him off.

[Roan]

If you're dry, I'm taking leather. I'm taking a thumbnail thin leather. Or even like a polyester leather blend.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Maybe some latex up top.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Just to make sure there's no airflow.

[Roan]

What does people's latex kink about? Why do people have, like, a fetish for latex? You know what I'm talking about? You know how they're.

[Francis]

Yeah, definitely.

[Harry]

It's tight.

[Roan]

Is that what it is?

[Harry]

I think you can get it really tight. Of all the materials, it's the tightest. Probably second only to maybe Saran Wrap or something.

[Francis]

Saran wraps, pretty tight.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

I think people are into Saran Wrap. I've been seeing people ask Grok to Saran Wrap people.

[Harry]

Really?

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

That's crazy.

[Roan]

Replace this outfit with Saran Wrap.

[Francis]

Grox in trouble.

[Roan]

Well, Grok's a pervert.

[Francis]

I'm pretty sure Grok is getting in some legal trouble right now.

[Roan]

Why? Because he keeps saying that Trump's a.

[Harry]

PDF file he's declothing.

[Francis]

Because I think of the clothing scandals.

[Harry]

Declothing? Yeah.

[Francis]

Which I don't know how I feel about the declothing scandal. I get the outrage about it and the frustration about the AI stuff. But I feel like if in all the AI things to get mad about, I feel like in the grand scheme of things like, that one's like, right.

[Roan]

Being.

[Francis]

He put you like he put you. He put. He's putting them in a bikini. He's not.

[Roan]

I've seen some nippleless breasts.

[Francis]

You have?

[Roan]

Yes.

[Francis]

Really? No way.

[Roan]

Nipple us like nippleless cage Jack.

[Francis]

Nipple is nipple list.

[Roan]

Not nippled.

[Francis]

Not nippled.

[Roan]

Nipple is nipple as breast. Okay.

[Francis]

That's crossing a line.

[Roan]

That's what I mean.

[Francis]

But the bikini is like, nippolis.

[Harry]

Breast is haunting stuff. Yeah.

[Roan]

That's like.

[Harry]

That's like Keanu Reeves's mouth in the first Matrix.

[Roan]

Yeah. A nipple is. Breast is. It's. It's not sexual.

[Francis]

No, no, not at all.

[Roan]

It's like, it's haunting. A nippleless breast.

[Harry]

Don't love that.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

But also, and I do think it is wrong.

[Francis]

You think I'm on the wrong side of history?

[Roan]

No, no, I think it's wrong, but I think that the pictures that are going up online, like, they're already toeing the line of scantily clad. Like, they're already seductive pictures, and people are like, what the fuck?

[Francis]

Well, I saw like. Like, they did it like we were doing a stream for Bush and Mook posted a photo of him and Jerry, and then someone replied and they were like, grok, have your way. Undress these freaks. And. And then, you know, Grok had his way and undressed them and put them in bikinis.

[Harry]

Oh.

[Roan]

But I also see, I've seen people be like, a picture of, like, Putin and Trump and be like, yeah, remove the. The pedo from this picture and, like, Grok will take out Trump.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

So, like, Grok has opinions.

[Harry]

Oh, you don't think he's just doing his best guess or flipping a coin? Basically, he.

[Francis]

They'll do it. Like, they'll be like, color the. They'll be like. It'll be like, Yan, Yahoo, and Trump. And it'll be like, color the pedophile's face red and the War Criminal space blue. And it'll be pretty accurate. Doesn't seem to mess him up.

[Harry]

Like.

[Roan]

A good cognitive test. Honestly, I might need to use it on the kids.

[Harry]

Wow.

[Francis]

Yeah, fair enough.

[Roan]

I just don't know. I wonder where. Where they're. Where Grok's getting their opinions from Twitter.

[Francis]

I'd assume it has some sort of like. Right, but it's got to be getting some sort of information from Twitter.

[Roan]

This is bad. It's like it's flying in the face of Elon's political and personal affiliations.

[Harry]

Well, you could. You could also make that same sort of contrasting photo with Bill and Hillary Clinton, and it would have an opinion on that.

[Roan]

Well, there is a pedophile and a war criminal in that picture too. Could they do it to us? Is the question like, if they took.

[Francis]

A photo of us and they were and they're like the pedophile. Yeah, I mean, that would.

[Roan]

I don't know.

[Francis]

I would hope.

[Roan]

What a crazy way to find out if.

[Harry]

If there's a pedophile and a war criminal among the three of us. Two of the three of us. Who's who?

[Francis]

I don't know.

[Roan]

I gotta be the war criminal.

[Harry]

I think I'm war criminal.

[Francis]

I would prefer to be war criminal.

[Harry]

I'm war criminal. I built the war. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right.

[Francis]

I'm definitely a war criminal.

[Harry]

By virtue of how young you are, you are the most recent person.

[Roan]

Right.

[Harry]

To probably be involved with underage women, therefore, that's insane. Pedophile grog.

[Francis]

Ready for war.

[Harry]

Ready for war. Currently in war.

[Roan]

Yes.

[Harry]

Parenting. That's war.

[Roan]

They say that's war.

[Francis]

I would hope not. But I mean, yeah, I do wonder that, like, has it been tested on people who aren't war criminals or pedophiles?

[Roan]

Yes.

[Francis]

Could be like a fun drinking game maybe, you know?

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Like, have Grok. Who's the pedophile?

[Roan]

Apples to apple.

[Harry]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're the pedophile, you got to finish a drink. Yeah.

[Roan]

It sounds like a German drinking game.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

It's like, oh, the pedophile.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Roan]

Like, cover. Uncover your eyes. Like, I knew you was a pedophile.

[Francis]

But yeah, I mean, I read that apparently they're making it so that Grok won't be allowed to do that anymore. Probably for the best.

[Roan]

So girls will be reduced to undressing themselves.

[Francis]

Undressing themselves.

[Roan]

I do support women's agency to sexualize themselves as opposed to be forced. Sexualized for.

[Francis]

Sexualized via Grok.

[Roan]

So he just can't put. Grok just can't put bikinis on people anymore.

[Francis]

I think without their consent. They need to consent via tweet.

[Roan]

Well, Grok is just so obviously a man.

[Harry]

I think if Grock put me in bikini photos, I'd probably just put on a bikini and take pictures to take back my agents.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Harry]

I think that's actually regain, you know, my power.

[Francis]

That is the most powerful way you could go about it.

[Harry]

Full blown.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

What's her Name did that.

[Francis]

You should just post a photo in a bikini and be like, gro.

[Harry]

Getting ahead of this.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Who did that? Who are you thinking of?

[Harry]

The actress who had her nudes all leaked, and then I think she maybe released more.

[Roan]

Cyrus.

[Francis]

I don't know, but I feel like. I feel like I know who you're talking about.

[Harry]

The. The one who won the best actress award for Silver Linings Playbook.

[Francis]

Jennifer Lawrence.

[Harry]

Yeah, that one. Maybe she didn't do that.

[Roan]

She's naked in a lot of movies.

[Harry]

Maybe I could be wrong.

[Roan]

She's playfully naked.

[Harry]

She's great.

[Roan]

She's like, kind of has a nipple as nudity.

[Harry]

I love her attitude.

[Francis]

Oh, she's great.

[Harry]

She's funny. We should get her on the pod.

[Francis]

She would be great for the pod.

[Harry]

We would really do well with her on the pod.

[Francis]

I think we would.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

I saw her talk. She had a good conversation with Leo.

[Harry]

I saw that, too. It was funny.

[Francis]

It was funny.

[Harry]

Yeah, she's funny.

[Francis]

She was, like, asking if he ever watched Titanic.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

He said he hasn't.

[Harry]

I saw that exact same clip. And then. And then he was like, have you ever watched your stuff?

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

And she was.

[Harry]

She was like, I've not made anything like Titan.

[Francis]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Harry]

I was like, well, you've done pretty well.

[Roan]

Yeah. I hate Silver Linings Playbook, though. Really?

[Harry]

God, it's a top five movie, like, ever for me.

[Roan]

It's like such a, like, cheap caricature of sports fan.

[Harry]

Oh, that's your issue.

[Roan]

And the ballroom dancing thing, like that Philly ties.

[Harry]

It is all Eagles.

[Francis]

Yeah, that's because it's got Philly time.

[Roan]

Seems like that's just an inaccurate depiction of that.

[Harry]

But he's a. He's an Eagles fan.

[Roan]

Right. But it's an inaccurate depiction of what an Eagles fan is like. And, like, the whole.

[Francis]

Well, this is an Eagles fan with bipolar disorder, Right?

[Roan]

All Eagles fans have bipolar disorder. It comes in the.

[Harry]

That. You know, that. That comes from the fact that they're. They're always throwing batteries, which we all know have two poles.

[Roan]

Yeah, exactly. It's a good. It's a good bipolar joke.

[Harry]

Yeah. Well, I don't know if I landed it, but it was there.

[Roan]

It's as close as you can get. Ye.

[Harry]

I think there's two polarities to batteries, right? Yeah.

[Francis]

Plus and minus.

[Roan]

And most Eagles fans can endure.

[Harry]

So is it polarities, though, or is it just charges?

[Francis]

I have no clue.

[Harry]

That's when we're going to have to.

[Roan]

I mean, I don't. There's Two. It's polarities. There's poles. No matter what, just physically, there are two poles to a battery.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

A north and a South Pole.

[Harry]

True, true.

[Roan]

I've been seeing a lot of slander of the. Of the South Pole of Antarctica on online.

[Francis]

Really?

[Harry]

Yeah. Is that up for grabs or something?

[Francis]

No, it's Greenland, I think. Well, Greenland's not up for grabs, though. I think we're just kind of taking it. Taking it?

[Harry]

Why?

[Francis]

I don't know. We need it, I guess. They said that Trump said that either Russia or China are going to take it, so we need it.

[Harry]

Oh, all right. Well, I love more land. I love more land. We could all use a little more land.

[Francis]

Why can't we take, like, Brazil or something?

[Harry]

Why would we want.

[Francis]

Why are we taking Greenland?

[Harry]

Is. Greenland is a blank canvas. There's 17 people that live there.

[Roan]

Brazil's a fixer upper.

[Francis]

It's not like we're all going to be, like, vacationing to Greenland now.

[Harry]

Well, I don't know if you've seen that movie with. I can't even remember.

[Francis]

Walter Mitty.

[Roan]

Yes. Where everybody's like, the, The.

[Harry]

The. It's called green. Yeah. It's called literally Greenland. I think that is where you have to go when the world ends.

[Roan]

Like, that's where the. Was it the fallout shelters or the rocket ship to outer space or some shit? But everybody's got to get the Greenland because something catastrophic is happening.

[Harry]

Bunkers. No, similar. Same exact movie, but in Greenland. But it's. It's called Greenland.

[Francis]

See, I would go to Iceland over Greenland yet.

[Roan]

You.

[Francis]

But is there a reason that not everyone would do, like, if Trump's going to take something, take, take Iceland.

[Harry]

I don't think they don't give. I think there are more people in Iceland and they're all big, strong people. That would be a little bit tough.

[Roan]

Well, Iceland was taken over much the same. Like, Iceland was just lost during World War II. It was like, peacefully taken over. There was no war to. For Iceland's independence. It just. I think it used to be Denmark. Denmark. And then they just were like, It's World War II. Denmark's otherwise occupied, so they're just free now. Hmm.

[Francis]

Makes sense.

[Harry]

Hey, really quick.

[Francis]

It's pretty small.

[Harry]

Yeah. When I got here, Roan, I ran into Harry, who was going to the snack closet, and I said, oh, hey. I was like, is Roan here? And he goes, I'm not sure. I haven't been in there yet. I just had a meeting. I've never met someone who has as Many meetings as you do.

[Francis]

I didn't know I had a meeting either. They pulled me in. They wanted my intel.

[Harry]

What are all these meetings that you're doing? What is all this? What are all these meetings?

[Francis]

That was sales. They were asking me a question about Bush. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Harry]

A lot of the time they tell us we can't record at a certain time because you have a meeting.

[Francis]

I've always got meetings.

[Harry]

I know. That's what I'm. What are all these meetings that you're. Why are you the meeting guy?

[Francis]

I just. I love setting up a good 1v1.

[Harry]

Is it all 1v1?

[Francis]

Let's pick each other's brains. Let's battle. Yeah, Me and you and Zoom. Let's battle.

[Harry]

You're doing Zoom Out.

[Francis]

Yeah, of course.

[Harry]

But you were in person today. I was.

[Francis]

Hybrid.

[Harry]

Are you putting down two people on Zoom? Are you putting down time for a room? Are you that.

[Francis]

No, no, no.

[Harry]

You're not that.

[Francis]

This wasn't an actual media.

[Harry]

I.

[Francis]

When I was walking away from that conversation, I was like. I wish I didn't phrase that as like.

[Harry]

See, that's exactly what I'm getting at. You.

[Francis]

You are.

[Roan]

You are.

[Harry]

I think you are calling meeting when it might just be conversation.

[Francis]

No, it was a meeting.

[Harry]

I think you are playing the meeting card a little too fast and loose. Yeah, it was definitely a meeting.

[Francis]

It was a meeting, but I was. I will say I was not formally, like, it wasn't a meeting for me as much as it was just to pop in.

[Harry]

So it's a pop in.

[Francis]

It was a pop.

[Harry]

You're doing pop.

[Francis]

What am I supposed to say? Hey, I didn't. I haven't been in yet. I had a pop in.

[Roan]

It will contextualize it more. Meeting has, like, this gravity to it where pop in is, like, fun. You have, like, a poppy soda and a popcorn.

[Harry]

Meeting is. Meeting is trouble.

[Roan]

Yeah, meetings could be.

[Francis]

Maybe for you boys. For me. For me, it usually means more money.

[Harry]

I haven't been in yet. I just had to come to Jesus talk, you know, Just did a quick call to arms.

[Roan]

Yeah, Meetings are like confessions.

[Francis]

Yeah, I liked it. To be honest, when they pulled me in, I was jacked up. Yeah, sure. If we could grab you for a minute. Of course.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Harry]

They said grab you. That's what they said. Can we grab you for a minute? Who was it that would send chills down? My God. In my life, when people have said, can I grab you for a minute? What comes next is horrible, horrible news.

[Roan]

Divorce.

[Harry]

It's Never. Like, hey, can we grab you for a minute? Good news. Yeah. Here's an. An extra $10,000.

[Roan]

Doesn't happen.

[Francis]

Yeah, they were just asking about who. Who was it the whole team?

[Roan]

No, no, but who was the. Who are the people?

[Francis]

The big hitters.

[Roan]

Yeah, but who are they?

[Francis]

The big hitters?

[Roan]

You don't know their names?

[Francis]

Molly.

[Harry]

You. You didn't. Well, see, this is how I know it was a pop in. Because you didn't have it on your calendar?

[Francis]

No, I literally.

[Harry]

I walked in the names and remembered them.

[Francis]

I walked in here, dropped my bag, and then I walked out to go grab a snack.

[Harry]

And then. So you did come here?

[Francis]

I did, yes. But I also don't think. I wasn't going to. I wasn't going to get into it. I definitely never said I haven't been in.

[Harry]

Harry's allergic to the truth.

[Francis]

I hadn't been in since my big meeting.

[Harry]

Big meeting. You said big meeting. Big meeting. Conference.

[Roan]

You had a conference with Molly. You guys were at opposite ends of a conference table.

[Francis]

That's who it is, right, Molly?

[Roan]

I mean, you would know.

[Francis]

Chicago sales.

[Roan]

Yeah, you would know.

[Harry]

Wait, she's in Chicago?

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

So you really were on Zoom?

[Francis]

Yes, but they have that whole Zoom set up where, like, you're. You walk in and you're already on, you know, maybe for you. And they're like, they. They have like the.

[Harry]

My.

[Francis]

I don't know where the microphone is, but you're. It's somewhere on the table.

[Harry]

You're the king of meetings. Whenever. Whenever you walk into a room, everyone gets a notification. Oh, he's here. I used to have Way has arrived.

[Roan]

I used to have meetings.

[Francis]

When I first got hired here, I had like three meetings a week.

[Roan]

Oh, those were like.

[Francis]

Me and Gaz had literally like. It was. It was like three meetings a week.

[Roan]

Those were like, do you need to go back to college?

[Francis]

And it would just be him chewing me out, really, for like, 30 minutes straight.

[Harry]

About what?

[Francis]

Everything.

[Harry]

Not showing up to the act or something like that?

[Francis]

No, this was pre yak. Once I was on the act, it was smooth sailing from there.

[Roan]

How'd you get on the act?

[Francis]

KB and Nick had to go to Rediscovering America, so Rowan brought me in.

[Roan]

Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking.

[Harry]

Did you guys meet about that? Was there a meeting about that?

[Roan]

My meetings with Sass used to just be like, wandering up to his desk and I'd be like, do you want to do some actual work? He'd be like, yeah, that actually sounds Good.

[Harry]

Yeah. Well that's a walk and talk.

[Roan]

Yeah. That's a pop up.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

I mean it's tough when you first start here and you just got no idea what to do.

[Roan]

I know.

[Harry]

Uh huh. I'm concerned. I was just tweeting about how instead of meeting. I'm concerned about how flippantly you use the word meeting. No, because you've used that word to say I can't. We can't record today. I have a really busy day. What do you have a lot of meetings.

[Francis]

A lot of meetings.

[Harry]

You are playing the meeting card in a way that it is losing its credibility. I mean that was wearing it thin.

[Francis]

There was nothing I could do about it. If you want I can start inviting you to more meetings.

[Harry]

I would like that.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

To be part of more meetings.

[Francis]

Yeah. I mean I, I classify any, any, any grouping of more than two people without recording equipment as a meeting. In work related.

[Harry]

When you have like you.

[Francis]

Not obviously not when I'm like hanging out.

[Harry]

Want to go meet over a stick? Let's go meet some meat. Meat with me.

[Francis]

No, that's not. Not what I mean.

[Roan]

Do you guys have people in your life that. And they're often women at times heavyset who have, who have a very. They like put this importance on meetings and like they want to tell you about how busy.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

They are there. You know, you know who I'm talking.

[Harry]

Yeah. But the person in my life who does that is not a heavyset woman. It's Harry puts too much importance on meetings. But. No, I know what you mean. And I think that comes from COVID.

[Roan]

That they just are like meetings got.

[Harry]

Became currency. It became a way of showing that you had made progress that day.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

It's very la, by the way. Very la. They do lunches. We in New York meetings.

[Francis]

That's where I was introduced to the meeting.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Was in la.

[Harry]

True story. The first travel soccer team that I ever played for in Maine was called Merry Meeting. Oh. Which I don't know where that came from but that was the name of our team. And then to Coastal FC and then Main Metro.

[Roan]

Merry Meeting is not a intimidating name for a team.

[Harry]

We didn't. We didn't do particularly well.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Soft name. You have to be. The Sharks are like the teeth.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

I remember when I went out, I went out to LA and I had to do a bunch of meetings. This was like when I did my don't tell set like two years ago and I went out to LA for like a week and I did a bunch of meetings. And, like, they're all just not. They're all just nonsense. Like, meetings. Most meetings are nonsense.

[Roan]

Getting brought in for meetings, especially in LA or before, like, I worked at Barstool. I would, like, come up from Philly to New York meetings at, like, the Viacom office, and they'd always be like, I want you to meet somebody. And you meet someone with, like, no context of who they were, and you don't know what they're looking for out of the meeting.

[Harry]

Dude.

[Francis]

People in la, like, you'll go into a meeting and they'll just lie to your face.

[Harry]

Correct.

[Roan]

That's where you learned it.

[Francis]

Like, I remember going into that meeting and they realized they'll be like, what kind of movies do you like? And I'm like, I don't know, like, Quentin Tarantino, I guess. And, like, you're in his next movie.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

It's like, oh, wow, that's great.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Never hear a single thing about it again.

[Roan]

What brands are you into? Like, you like balance?

[Francis]

Oh, great. You're the new face of night.

[Roan]

Phil Knight's actually in the next room talking to Mike Jordan.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Basketball Said.

[Harry]

He's a fan.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

It's every. That's what it is.

[Harry]

Everyone's, like, a big fan.

[Francis]

Everyone.

[Harry]

Everyone's a fan. Dude. That is industry speak, by the way. Did you ever go out to LA for generals?

[Francis]

I don't know. What's that?

[Harry]

That's. That is what. It's called a general meeting.

[Francis]

That's probably what it was.

[Harry]

I used to, first of all, before COVID Yeah. You would. They didn't do those on Zoom. You'd go all the way across the country for what was called a general meeting.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

And I did this probably four or five times before I realized it's. It was the most waste of time and money that I have ever had in my life.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Where you sit down. You know, you go to Soho House in Beverly, of course. Or wherever with some production company.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Head. And you sit and you talk to them about nothing, about nothing for an hour. And then they go on to then three more of those that day. Yeah.

[Roan]

It's such a nice position of power that those people can be in. To be the ones selling the dream.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

To be like, I have the dream. You want the dream, and you're auditioning for the dream right now. You don't even know what you could do to get it, to earn the dream. But they're in possession of the dream. But they have it, though. Like, they're getting paid to do the meetings, they have the dream in their back pocket.

[Harry]

It's just like anyone I've met who moves to LA and does not dislike it. I always wonder if they ever had to go through those or they're just compromised.

[Francis]

Maybe they went through them and it went. Something happened from it.

[Harry]

Yeah, maybe, maybe. I don't know. I guess. I guess I just became so jaded from LA as a result of how every time I went there, you would be promised you'd come home thinking, my God. Yeah, I've just met my gatekeeper. I've met my guardian angel.

[Roan]

He's going to let me in.

[Harry]

He said he's going to usher me straight to the studio lobby spots.

[Musical Interlude]

Yeah.

[Harry]

And I'll be with Scorsese in a week's time.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

And then you.

[Roan]

You get so flippant about the people who, like, you're like. Once you get a little bit jaded, you're like, yeah, yeah, whatever. And that's probably the real person that you needed to, like, suck off when you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. For you, like, yeah, 200 bucks, like, whatever, dude.

[Harry]

I have met so many fucking people.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

And that is not a flex. Because not one of them has panned out.

[Francis]

No, they never did.

[Harry]

All of it went well. Yeah. You know, it's not as if I entered those meetings or those lunches of those generals with, like, a bad attitude.

[Francis]

Or I wonder if that's what you need to do. Start throwing around or, like, get on.

[Roan]

The table, like Bobby.

[Francis]

Exactly.

[Harry]

Or just not show up.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

And be like, no, I didn't. I decided to do better things with my time.

[Francis]

Yeah. The fans.

[Harry]

Yes, he is busy.

[Francis]

The fan thing is so funny.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

I remember, like, the first couple times hearing that being like, oh, that's. That's great.

[Harry]

One time.

[Francis]

They're keeping up.

[Harry]

One time I went to. I went to see a friend out in LA and I went to see a live taping of Tosh Point. Oh.

[Francis]

Oh, that's cool.

[Harry]

And it was Shout Out Tosh and Shout Out Dan. After the episode, he spoke to the live audience, which was only, I don't know, 100 people at most. And he did this thing where he just for fun, ran through all of the sort of past projects that he had auditioned for and not gotten. And it was very, very funny.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Like movies with Katherine Heigl.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Harry]

You know, rom coms and all these things that you wouldn't have known, Right? Yeah. And he hadn't gotten any of them. This is, you know, he was crushing it on tosh bueno at this point. And I, I, I'm getting to a point now where I could list the litany of failed things that I have not gotten.

[Roan]

Like, you have a better chance of success through entering a contest than through taking meetings.

[Harry]

Correct. Quite literally. I won the job at Barstool through a contest. All of my success has come through Barstool, which is why I have continued to shift my PR more and more over here.

[Francis]

Yeah. I mean, it's pretty easy to see, to realize how competitive it is and how unrealistic a lot of stuff is. Like, I remember even just doing the White Lotus audition after that. I was like, well, that's the last time I'm ever doing one of those. I was like, I'm never gonna fucking. There's no way they're ever gonna be on the other end of that and be like, that's the guy I know. That's who we need.

[Harry]

Well, what you learn right now? I have an audition for. It's like an untitled fucking medical.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Comedy.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

You're like, all right, why? Why me? And they'll be like, the director, specifically. No, he didn't.

[Francis]

I had that exact.

[Harry]

That guy didn't see me eat a 22 pound hog and be like, that's the perfect patient.

[Francis]

I had that happen last year.

[Harry]

Guys got Ricky.

[Roan]

Oh, you're patient. Not even.

[Harry]

I don't even know. I didn't even look at it. I just immediately. That. But dude, you know, you do these things over zoom now, so. Or, or tape and you don't. I think back when you would go into the room, it was a little easier to sort of exude charm or share some more depth of who you are as a person, who you might be to work with, as opposed to just this, you know, and, and what you, what I came to believe and sort of learn was that every one of Those roles, this 10 line roles, eight line roles, goes to the nephew of a executive producer.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Who's. I think the role is trying to get into acting.

[Roan]

Yeah. Nepotism contest meetings. Yeah.

[Harry]

It's just handed.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

It's earmarked for a family member.

[Francis]

Yeah. I also think that when they send those auditions out, there are the roles are already filled.

[Roan]

Correct.

[Francis]

Yeah. It's like what they're saying about like job applications right now, that there's no job. Yeah. You're just applying to nothing.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

It's not going anywhere.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

You go on barstools, like Linked or whatever. Like the application website is like three hosts for Son of A boy.

[Harry]

Dad.

[Francis]

Yo, dude, I just applied for your job.

[Roan]

Dave said he really liked you.

[Francis]

Yeah, I mean, those auditions, you know what's crazy is like I, I say the thing about auditions, but also like I've never, that was never really something that I was interested in was like banging out auditions. If you talk to people that are like pursuing like acting like full time, they do like nine of those auditions.

[Harry]

I know, I know.

[Francis]

It's insane.

[Harry]

And I can't do that.

[Francis]

No.

[Harry]

You know, when the hit rate is whatever 2% and you need to be that volume heavy, I have other things that will probably yield greater success.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

And then you see people you admire getting roles which are written for them.

[Francis]

Right.

[Harry]

So Stav and Begonia, that director, I'm pretty sure had him. Him in mind for the role of the cop. And so he got it. And I had this thought of like, you know, they wrote the roll and tires for me, like I didn't have to audition for that.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

And I remember thinking like, well, that's so much easier than going through the audition process. I'm just going to do it that way from now on.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Which is very akin to Happy Gilmore when he hits the hole in one and he's like, well, that's way easier than.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah, I'll just do that from now on.

[Harry]

You should know.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Harry]

I'm only going to do roles that.

[Roan]

Are written to me, make very high level connections, leverage them into.

[Harry]

Yeah, yeah. It's very delusional. So.

[Roan]

But I think it's, it is the best way. Or like if you wrote your own vehicle.

[Harry]

That's true.

[Roan]

I think that that's more realistic than hoping. But also the people who are like trying to become actors now, it's like trying to get like a job in like newspapers or like trying to get a radio gig or something like that. It's like an old, it's like an old medium. It's like, I don't know, like you're best case scenario you'll put like a CGI suit on and be like a background in Avatar. Like that's not. There's not the upside that there was. Or like be A. The 10th HBO spin off of Girls or whatever.

[Francis]

Yeah. Sell and sell the rights to your face just in a program now and.

[Roan]

People are doing that and then like 10 years later they're being used for like something else.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah. You're looking on those epic commercial 15 years later.

[Roan]

Yeah. We go V commercial. Do you do of you watch that show that like new. The LA version Of Girls on hbo.

[Harry]

Oh, it's called. Yeah, I know what you're talking about. I love la. Yeah. I haven't watched it.

[Francis]

Oh, yeah.

[Harry]

But I admire the people in the. In that show.

[Francis]

Good.

[Harry]

I. Is it good?

[Francis]

I mean, it's for Girls.

[Harry]

Is it.

[Roan]

It's good the way Girls was good.

[Harry]

Girls was good.

[Francis]

I thought it was funny, though. I mean, it's well written. It's funny.

[Harry]

Cool. No, I haven't.

[Francis]

I don't know if I. I can't say I'm another. Like, I don't think you could live without it. Like, I don't think it's for us, you know? Like, I'm not gonna be like, you gotta go watch it tonight. But I enjoyed it.

[Roan]

It's. Yeah, it's, like, for girls and gays, much like the TV show Traders. Have you watched Traders in on Traders?

[Harry]

No.

[Roan]

I watched the first three episodes, and I think that, like, 80% of the males on the cast are gay. Are gay men.

[Francis]

Really? Is that the hockey one?

[Roan]

They're not casting straights. No, that's another gay show.

[Harry]

Which one?

[Francis]

The hockey one.

[Harry]

Oh. Oh. I started watching that last night.

[Francis]

Why?

[Harry]

I'm so glad. I'm so glad you brought it up.

[Roan]

Why are you watching that?

[Harry]

I'm so pumped.

[Roan]

You're exper. You're testing the waters. You're dipping the top.

[Harry]

I'm excited we're seeing the fishnet shirt. Yeah. I wondered about my sweater today.

[Roan]

No, I like it.

[Harry]

I did wear a shirt under it.

[Francis]

That's smart.

[Harry]

I thought for a long time. I thought for a long time, like, why would I ever watch this show?

[Francis]

And how long? It's only been out for like a month.

[Harry]

Huh?

[Francis]

Hasn't it only been out for, like a month?

[Roan]

But he's thinking about it every day.

[Harry]

That's all anyone's talking about. It's this show.

[Francis]

Yeah. Someone said that. That. That. That this show's done more to grow the game of hockey in the spit Chicklets is.

[Harry]

Yeah. I'm not afraid to admit, by the way. I mean, I can't be the only straight guy that has turned this on. And for what it's worth, I watched only. I watched, like, 20 minutes of the first episode.

[Francis]

Yeah. So Nothing out of 22.

[Harry]

No. No. Nothing sexual has happened.

[Francis]

Skip the credits.

[Harry]

Golly.

[Roan]

So you were just. You were curious?

[Harry]

No. I don't know why everyone was talking about it. Yeah. And a girlfriend of mine was like, you need to watch it.

[Roan]

And why. Why did she say.

[Harry]

She said it was unbelievable and it's like sad and romantic. And I thought about Brokeback Mountain.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Which I thought was a beautiful movie.

[Francis]

Yeah. Of course.

[Harry]

And like haunting.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

And I was like, well, maybe it's like that. It's not like that.

[Francis]

I don't know what it's. What it is about. I just know it's trash. Oh, really?

[Harry]

Yeah. I thought it was going to be like a good sports.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Thing with the. The story being that two guys, in spite of their masculinity or something, fall in love and, you know, can't. But that's not it. It's corny.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

It's. So I turned it off.

[Roan]

So what's the.

[Harry]

Which, by the way, Both of you. That's the straightest thing you can do.

[Francis]

True.

[Harry]

Is try the show. And you're not wrong. Not for me. You're not wrong. Instead of you both being like, I don't want to try because I'm afraid I'll like it if I. What happens if I finish the show? Which I'm sure you would, Harry. Because you love hockey.

[Francis]

Yeah, I do love. I do love Puck. Can't get that wrong.

[Roan]

I know that something like that happened to you.

[Francis]

What?

[Roan]

That he fell in love at a hockey game? Fell in love with the ring. You were on thin ice playing with someone's stick.

[Francis]

Most of my hockey career was spent on the bench looking across at the stands, at my dad, who was furious. Looking right back at me for 60 minutes straight.

[Roan]

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. The new year doesn't require a new you. Maybe just a less burdened you. Therapy can help more easily identify what holds you back by offering an unbiased perspective to better understand your relationship's motivations and emotions. BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. A short questionnaire helps identify your needs and preferences. And our 12 plus years of experience and industry leading match fulfillment rate means we typically get it right the first time. And if you aren't happy with your match, switch to a different therapist at any time. From our tailored recs. BetterHelp makes it easy to get matched online with a qualified therapist. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com sun that's B E T-T E R H E L P.com sun I'm.

[Harry]

A big fan of BetterHelp. That whole network and that variety is really great to just peruse through, by the way. And I honestly think that January is the month when you really should find yourself searching for therapy that is the best time of the year to start fresh with some. Some better help.

[Roan]

I'll join you there, brother. Betterhelp.com sun the.

[Harry]

Unfortunately, there is a character in this show that you could relate to. Probably the Russian guy. His dad is very domineering.

[Francis]

Oh, yeah.

[Roan]

So what is the. Like. What makes it corny?

[Harry]

It's just shit. Like, the dialogue.

[Francis]

What's it all.

[Harry]

Acting, I think. I think that the. The other. The. But the guy who plays the Russian guy is probably well cast, but the other guy doesn't look like a hockey player. You can't. I couldn't buy it for a second. And I thought. I don't know, I thought because of the budget and how popular this show is, that it. Did you guys ever watch that show? I think was called Playmakers?

[Roan]

Yeah. On hbo.

[Harry]

On hbo.

[Francis]

What is it about?

[Roan]

It might have been espn.

[Harry]

It was on espn and the rumor was it got canceled because it was so revealing and lifelike to the NFL that the NFL was like, don't make another season.

[Roan]

And every episode was like this. This guard linebacker's taking steroid shots in his ass right before the game. Or like, the quarterback just, like, beat up a fucking.

[Francis]

Like, really?

[Harry]

His girlfriend. Now he has to hire the team's fixer to, like, deal with. Put it. Getting it. Someone got someone pregnant.

[Roan]

Like, it was drinking before the gate. There's, like, so much.

[Harry]

And there was a. There was an episode where one of the receivers was secretly gay and not surprising, was like. But he was, like, the best player on the team or whatever. And then Demetrius Harris, the star running back, had a major drug problem. It was an awesome show.

[Francis]

Is it still. Can you still watch it?

[Harry]

You could find it somewhere. It was excellent.

[Francis]

I'm gonna check that out.

[Harry]

Really, really great show. I kind of thought this was gonna be like, that.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

I really did.

[Francis]

Like an inside peak.

[Harry]

It's just like pulpy soap opera bullshit for women.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

And that bum me out. So.

[Roan]

Women do love hockey players, but the only thing about this show is, like, hockey's on.

[Francis]

Yeah, true.

[Roan]

Hockey's on right now. If you want to have, like, a fantasy about, like, hockey, like, the season's happening, like, watch it. You never know what's going to happen tonight.

[Harry]

Well, that.

[Francis]

That when they.

[Harry]

They. I don't know if they still do it, but they used to do the 247 road to the Winter Classic, which was the hard knocks for hockey.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

That was my favorite. I liked that even more than I liked.

[Francis]

Isn't the Winter Classic in Miami this year? Inside Is it?

[Roan]

That's terrible.

[Francis]

I'm pretty sure. Yeah.

[Harry]

That can't be.

[Roan]

How's it inside?

[Francis]

I believe that is what is happening at.

[Roan]

It's not at Hard Rock. I could see it being at Hard Rock, but I think it's just.

[Harry]

Wow.

[Francis]

Thought for the brand.

[Roan]

Yeah. It doesn't make any.

[Harry]

Outdoors or indoors, Owen. Indoors doesn't make any sense. Yeah, it really does that.

[Francis]

It really doesn't make sense in a.

[Harry]

Baseball stadium every time.

[Roan]

I mean, there's got to be gay hockey players out there for sure. I'd rather just watch the life story of Sean Avery if. If it's going to be that, you.

[Harry]

Know, fighting words, I think.

[Roan]

Hockey smoke with Sean Avery. I thought he was a proven guest gay. Is he maybe bisexual?

[Harry]

I don't know about that. No.

[Roan]

All right.

[Harry]

Is he.

[Roan]

I thought that there was, like, a thing that he just like.

[Harry]

I think he's fashion forward.

[Francis]

Fashion forward.

[Harry]

But I. I don't know.

[Francis]

I mean, is that what they're calling it these days?

[Harry]

He was like a face of Vogue or something like that. Like, he mo. He worked at Vogue and he's an.

[Roan]

Advocate for the LGBTQ community.

[Harry]

Yeah. Since when does that mean.

[Roan]

I think it's the same thing.

[Harry]

Those.

[Francis]

Those go hand in hand.

[Roan]

Yeah, they're.

[Francis]

The roof's open.

[Harry]

Oh, the roof is open.

[Francis]

They're gonna leave the roof open for as long as they can until the ice starts melting.

[Harry]

Yeah. Right. Right.

[Francis]

We got a puddle in center ice.

[Harry]

Players just tripping through sludge.

[Roan]

Did you.

[Francis]

We. When I was really young, we. We did a. At home rink, like me and my dad.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Like, where you do the tarp with.

[Harry]

We just had pawns.

[Francis]

Yeah. But did you. Do you ever. Do. Do you ever, like. Do you ever go to someone's house who, like, made a rink?

[Harry]

Yeah. Gino DeMillo.

[Francis]

So sick.

[Roan]

Yes.

[Francis]

One of my friends.

[Harry]

Me and Andrew Poach a bit. Used to go to Ginnino DeMillo's house and we would.

[Francis]

I don't know. Now, am I missing something now? Is that an inside joke?

[Harry]

No.

[Francis]

You guys both know Gino.

[Roan]

Yes.

[Harry]

Well, Gino di Milo is the son of the. The demillo's restaurant.

[Francis]

Charlie d' Amelio Fortune.

[Harry]

Demillo's was the floating restaurant in the old port.

[Francis]

Oh, that.

[Harry]

My buddy Ryan Oaks, once, on a dare, after a very boozy lunch, jumped off the side of into the water.

[Francis]

Really?

[Harry]

And then had to swim to the dock.

[Francis]

Is that a big thing in Maine? Like, restaurants that are on boats? Because I've been to one in the pilothouse in Kennebunkport.

[Harry]

Well, that makes sense. Yeah, it makes sense.

[Francis]

Have you ever been there?

[Harry]

No.

[Francis]

Really?

[Harry]

I don't really go to Kennebunkport. It's too touristy. Real Mainers don't go there.

[Francis]

I would agree with that.

[Harry]

What do you mean you'd agree with that?

[Francis]

It's very.

[Harry]

For you to agree with.

[Francis]

It's extremely touristy.

[Harry]

That's just my truth.

[Francis]

Coming as a Massachusetts person visiting Maine constantly growing up.

[Roan]

But you can't speak for what real Mainers do.

[Francis]

Yes, you can. If I say from Massachusetts, you're pretty much from.

[Harry]

Don't you dare. Don't you dare. There is a very thin strip of New Hampshire which buffers us from you. And by the way, my statement that you agreed with was, real Mainers don't go to Kenny Bunkport. And you're like, I agree with that. How the fuck would you know?

[Francis]

Because I. Well, because I. First of all, two of my friends live in Kennebunkport, and I still don't believe. And all they do is talk about how dead it is outside of the summer.

[Harry]

Yeah, well, then you really know that they're not real Mainers because they live in Kenney Bunker.

[Francis]

Well, they live outside of Kenny Bunk.

[Harry]

That's like me saying, yeah, I'm a New Yorker. I live in Times Square, boy. I live right in the heart of it, man. Fucking. You see some shit. Classic New York.

[Francis]

I mean, we pretty much lived in Times Square. Hell's Kitchen.

[Roan]

Are we going to Maine for fish week in March?

[Harry]

Oh, that's not a bad idea. Although Maine in March is cold. Dead of winter.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Really?

[Harry]

Yeah. That is.

[Roan]

I feel like Maine and middle of winter.

[Harry]

We are a long way from doing any kind of. You know, what we should do is we could probably float down the Soccer river in tubes or. Or on floats or something like fish, which would be kind of fun.

[Francis]

You know what I really want to do in terms of fly fishing is those tubes that are like you're. You. Like, you pretty much just go. It's like a regular tube like you would have in a pool, but there's, like, slots for your legs and then like a strap around the crotch, like as a harness. So you just sit in the tube, and then you're, like, sitting down, but you're on the tube.

[Harry]

Okay.

[Francis]

And you. And you fish the whole way. Just like, floating, like, standing. It's pretty fun. I've never done it. Looks sick, though. I think we should do it. I think standing, like you're like, you're.

[Roan]

There have to be a pretty deep river to be that. You could just stand, float.

[Francis]

Well, that would be the. Like, the river that we went in in upstate. We definitely could have done that.

[Roan]

Stood, float. Standing, floated. Where else could we go? Where else are.

[Francis]

Like this?

[Roan]

We could go south. Like.

[Francis]

Like, see how he's standing up and he's got the float. So it's like, if he gets, like, he. You would go up to your waist pretty much, and then you just. Your legs are just hanging.

[Harry]

That is cooler. And you're just floating the way that you described it. I wasn't picturing it, and I think.

[Francis]

That would be a hilarious visual.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

The three of us just floating down in our own personal floats.

[Roan]

How are we gonna film that?

[Harry]

That's.

[Roan]

That's.

[Francis]

That is true.

[Harry]

Walking along the bank the whole time.

[Roan]

Floating down the river, like, running through.

[Harry]

The bush like a young De Niro stalking the dawn. And Godfather, like, on the rooftop. Stepping over chimneys and down ledges, stumps and rocks.

[Francis]

I mean, I think we got a float.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

How are we going to shoot that?

[Francis]

Well, we don't have to do those. Float. Float tubes. We could do it just a boat.

[Harry]

That's. That's doable. We. We could.

[Francis]

Yeah, definitely.

[Harry]

You could put camera guys on, like, a kayak or something.

[Roan]

Well, what if it. What if the. Like, what if it topples?

[Harry]

Well, that's why we wouldn't go heavy.

[Roan]

That's what I'm saying.

[Harry]

We wouldn't go heavy rapids.

[Francis]

Yeah, we would have to go, you know, class one and.

[Roan]

So are we going south? Are we going to go south? Are we going to go to New Jersey? We also have to have a place that says nice as Francis's. Yes, we do. That's. That's a requisite, right?

[Harry]

That's par. I want to go full rustic. I want.

[Roan]

Oh.

[Harry]

I want to.

[Roan]

I want to go luxury. I want to be in the lap of luxury when we get back.

[Harry]

You know what would be a good contest is fire building.

[Francis]

Did we dirty do or no? We talked about doing it. Probably did for fish week originally.

[Harry]

Yeah, we. Yeah, we should have done that.

[Roan]

That would be sick. I definitely would suck ass at that. But it'd be fun.

[Harry]

That'd be fun. That'd be fun.

[Francis]

Yeah. I think I'd be pretty bad at it.

[Harry]

I had something I wanted to bring up, but I can't remember what it is anymore.

[Roan]

Sean Avery, by the way, said he's probably had a gay teammate, so he text him.

[Francis]

Are you throwing the blame on everyone?

[Roan]

He's not gay right now, but he says, I do think I must have had a gay closeted teammate at some point in my career. And he said, I love heated rivalry. And it's the worst hockey show ever made, but the most incredible gay hockey show ever made.

[Francis]

True, true.

[Roan]

I didn't realize. It's the bro that made Letterkenny that made it. That's like a good, interesting, different show. Letter Kenny.

[Francis]

You guys heard of that?

[Harry]

I've never seen that. No, no, I've heard of it.

[Francis]

Kenny.

[Roan]

Yeah, Letter Kenny.

[Francis]

No, they're not ringing any bells.

[Roan]

On Thursday, I'm getting a pre novo scan.

[Harry]

Those are expensive.

[Francis]

For what?

[Harry]

Good for you.

[Roan]

It's like a pre. Preempt. It's like a full body scan to, like, see what's inside you.

[Harry]

Did you want to see that Matt Damon movie where he. Wealthy people live on a different planet.

[Francis]

Martian.

[Harry]

And he's trying.

[Roan]

Wally.

[Harry]

And he's trying to, like, get off his planet to get up there. Do you know I'm talking about. I don't think many people saw this movie.

[Roan]

Good Planet Hunting, I think.

[Harry]

I think it was Matt Damon futuristic movie. And if you could get up to that other planet, there was like a settlement there that had these machines that you could actually would scan your full body and rid you of any maladies.

[Francis]

Yeah. How do you get. How much does that cost? Because I've. That's. I've been looking for one of those my entire life.

[Harry]

Like that.

[Roan]

It doesn't. It doesn't rid you of them, though. It just diagnoses.

[Francis]

Yeah, but I want to. I want the full scan.

[Roan]

I'm getting the full scan.

[Francis]

How much are you doing that?

[Harry]

Isn't that like 20 grand or something?

[Roan]

No, no, no, no. That's the one Riggs got, which I think is twice that.

[Harry]

What?

[Roan]

But I think this is. This one's like two grand. It was a Christmas gift.

[Francis]

Alicia, they're sending you through the scanners at LaGuardia.

[Roan]

Yeah. Lay down on this conveyor belt, too.

[Francis]

Great.

[Roan]

Pockets empty.

[Harry]

Sir, you have a tumor in your hip. Oh, I'm sorry. You just had your belt on. Yeah. The movie was Elysium, by the way. That was what I was thinking.

[Francis]

Elysium. I haven't heard of that.

[Harry]

Get it? Don't even worry about it.

[Roan]

Lithium.

[Francis]

Wait, so when are you doing that?

[Roan]

Thursday.

[Francis]

And what is it? It's just a full scan?

[Roan]

Yeah, Full scan. You're just in there for like an hour. Then they're scanning everything. Soup to nuts.

[Francis]

So you pretty much. You walk out of that ideal. In an ideal world, you walk out and you're like, I'm fucking clean.

[Roan]

Or like, obviously bad. At least you're finding out before catching it early. Before that there's like, you know, why doesn't it.

[Francis]

Why don't they just have everybody do that? Why isn't that like. Yeah, but they should just. That should be like, what, like your physical is.

[Roan]

It should definitely.

[Francis]

You go and you just get the full body scan way.

[Harry]

Speaking of physical, I reached out to my primary care physician.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Who I've been seeing for years to schedule a physical because I also had to. I have to schedule some blood tests for this heart thing that I have and the rosuvastatin in order to renew my statin. I have to like, at this point, I've been on it for three years. They need to make sure that it's whatever. I found out that the fucking Mount Sinai Health, they were like, oh, are you still on that Anthem Blue Cross Blue Shield Healthcare? And I was like, yep. They're like, yeah. For whatever reason, they won't work with us. Oh, so not only am. Did I get thrown off the medication I was on that was working because of this fucking insurance we have. I also just. They're feuding with Mount Sinai.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Harry]

That's pretty medical group, which is a big group in New York. And I can't see my primary care physician anymore.

[Francis]

They got to figure that out and.

[Roan]

That out of pocket. The out of pocket's got to be so expensive.

[Harry]

I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it out of pocket. I'm just going to have to find. Do you know, finding a new primary care physician. Don't love that process now.

[Francis]

It sucks.

[Harry]

You got to. You don't know how their bedside manner is. You don't know how you're going to feel. You don't know how their process is going to be. For the prostate exam, the testicle check.

[Francis]

I haven't had to do that ever.

[Harry]

Not once. Never had a doctor tell you to turn your head and cough?

[Francis]

When I was younger, I did.

[Harry]

With your pediatrician?

[Francis]

Yeah. With my pediatrician.

[Harry]

As an adult, I don't.

[Francis]

I weirdly don't think I have. As an adult.

[Harry]

When was the last time you saw a doctor for a physical?

[Francis]

Within the last couple months.

[Harry]

For real?

[Francis]

Yeah. Yeah. I go to the doctor.

[Harry]

You had a physical in the last two couple months.

[Roan]

He had a meeting with the doctor.

[Francis]

I think I had. I think I had one over the summer. Yeah. Maybe Not.

[Harry]

Yeah, I know. I know that you didn't. I know it probably was like three.

[Roan]

Years ago and you're like, yeah, must have been like last year, right?

[Francis]

No. Cuz I've got a primary care doctor and they prescribe my Zoloft and I have to go every six months for a checkup.

[Harry]

That's not a physical.

[Francis]

I know, but I feel like they've given me a physical. I feel like they have to. When you first sign up with them. I don't know, but I don't think they were looking at my balls.

[Roan]

It's been a while since my balls were examined by my. My pcp.

[Francis]

I feel like they're leaving the balls behind. They're getting ready. Without balls.

[Roan]

Well, they're just like. You do it.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

You check out your balls.

[Francis]

Which I guess is reasonable. I can check out my balls.

[Harry]

No, no. You don't know what to feel for.

[Francis]

You know what to feel for. You know, if.

[Roan]

Well, but you never know if it's the extension cord or if it's cancer. You know what I mean?

[Francis]

Extension cord.

[Harry]

Well, you.

[Roan]

Are your balls just floating in space or are they tethered? Yeah, yeah.

[Francis]

I mean, but I get.

[Roan]

I don't know because mine are tethered.

[Francis]

I'm going to need you to hit me up with your scan guy. See if we can do like a two for one. Like I'll just like slide in behind you. Yeah.

[Roan]

Like two cars leaving the parking lot.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Bottom half was totally healthy. That top half riddled with disease.

[Roan]

I feel like it's worth it. It's got to be worth it.

[Francis]

It's got to. Just for peace of mind. You're gonna sleep so well for like the year after you get that scan.

[Harry]

Why was Riggs is so much more expensive? What? What is do?

[Roan]

I have no idea. Frankie was telling me about.

[Francis]

They must be making like modifications and.

[Roan]

Yeah, they're probably tweaking. Probably under the hood.

[Francis]

Genetic modifications.

[Roan]

Probably untethering his balls, just letting them free float.

[Harry]

Golly.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

I don't know. You have to ask him though. I mean, he seems like he's doing great. Did you guys see the inside of Riggs's apartment on when Mincy was there?

[Francis]

No.

[Roan]

I would love to get your thoughts on his decorating style and home decor.

[Francis]

I saw the inside biz's apartment. Whose business that was?

[Roan]

Business? Like architectural?

[Francis]

What the hell?

[Roan]

I wish that was that in.

[Harry]

Where was that paint? Little lime wash was that.

[Roan]

How about the lime one? Oh, you have the lime wash.

[Harry]

I'm a lime Wash guy.

[Francis]

Yeah, that was a solid wash. Yeah. It's a shame what Mincy did to that concrete.

[Roan]

Well, he's never been around a lime wash. Yeah. You could tell that Mincy has never laid eyes on a lime wash.

[Harry]

Imagine, imagine. Because he took, took the bathing suits off and saw the damage.

[Francis]

Honestly said.

[Harry]

Boy, I hope he doesn't catch that.

[Francis]

Honestly, I'm, I think I'm with Mincey on this one. If you pull that. If I pulled that bathing suit off and I saw that my heart would fall through my body.

[Harry]

Yes.

[Francis]

I'd be like, I just got to.

[Roan]

Get out of here.

[Harry]

Wow, you're that guy.

[Francis]

I gotta get on the first flight home.

[Harry]

I'm not surprised at all, but my God.

[Roan]

Well, I think that there's a chance Mincy didn't see it. I think there's a chance he was.

[Francis]

Just like, like you had to have.

[Roan]

Seen that he took it off and was like, what have I done? I think that he just like ripped it off and like, I don't know, I had no idea.

[Francis]

If I saw that I wouldn't even know how to react.

[Harry]

You have to tell your host. Hey man, I made a mistake. I'm really sorry. Fix it and send me the bill.

[Roan]

Send me the bill for a fresh lime wash of your secondary bedroom. I mean that's.

[Francis]

How much is a good.

[Roan]

More than a. It's more than a pre novo scan really to lime wash that size of a room.

[Harry]

Yeah, but he, presumably they could just, if they still had the paint or.

[Francis]

They still had the line, they could.

[Harry]

Just do another coat right over that.

[Roan]

But you have to get somebody who knows how to lime wash. You think biz is just lime washing?

[Francis]

You never know.

[Roan]

There's no chance.

[Harry]

No, no. He could be you, you, you, you need a guy, you needed someone who knows what they're doing.

[Francis]

Lime washing is pretty technical.

[Harry]

There's a technique to it.

[Roan]

Yeah, I mean I just have one lime wash bathroom and it took like a fucking week.

[Harry]

My whole. Did you see my bedroom? Bedrooms and then the bash. The powder room. That's awesome.

[Francis]

No, I didn't go in the bathroom.

[Harry]

Oh, that's the best room in the whole house.

[Francis]

Roan shitting it.

[Harry]

No, no, he shit in my primary bedroom.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Oh yeah.

[Harry]

The other bathroom, the powder room.

[Francis]

Well, I don't know what that means.

[Harry]

It means a bathroom without a shit the first time.

[Francis]

The second time pissed me off.

[Harry]

I had a feeling it would and that's why I'm needling you. These are terms that adults use.

[Roan]

It's like when you. It says one and a half baths. Like, that's the half bathroom.

[Francis]

That was a full.

[Harry]

It's a bat. No, you have a tub in it and a shower. That's a powder room.

[Francis]

That was a solid room. I liked it.

[Harry]

It's a more. It's a more elegant term than my half bathroom. I actually think is even douchier than powder room.

[Francis]

I would just say bathroom. Just go use the bathroom.

[Harry]

But I have other bathrooms. True. So to distinguish.

[Francis]

But I would just assume you're not talking about the bathroom that's in your own personal bedroom, which clearly Roan had some sort of mix up there where he didn't get that.

[Roan]

I mean, the Consuelos were in there.

[Harry]

When I walked in, I was so sure it was Harry who had done that.

[Roan]

No, it was the son of a boy dad listeners who were cleaning up the. The front. And I had to go slide in the back.

[Francis]

I didn't even. In Dustin's house. That's respect.

[Roan]

Yeah, you could have. He definitely has the Toro toilet.

[Francis]

That place was.

[Roan]

He definitely has the. Yeah, yeah.

[Harry]

I don't know how I feel about those.

[Francis]

They had everything.

[Harry]

That's something where. You know. I don't know that that is a full upgrade for me. I don't know if I like how automated those are. The warm toilet seats. Nice.

[Roan]

And the bidet. Well, I don't use a bidet even on a Toro.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

You go to Japan and you go dry ass the entire time.

[Harry]

Think so what?

[Roan]

I've only slapped in the face to the emperor.

[Francis]

I'm trying to think of. I've used a bidet before. I don't hate them. I don't. I don't need one either, though. I remember when I went to Europe.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

The bidet was. And let me know if I'm crazy.

[Harry]

No, you're right. You're right.

[Francis]

Which is insane.

[Roan]

You have to hop to stand up with in your ass and land some.

[Francis]

Mush it all together and then sit down in a urinal.

[Roan]

Well, I don't think you have to smush it down. I'm pretty sure you don't have to smush it. But it is a seatless urinal.

[Francis]

There's nowhere to sit.

[Roan]

It's like. It's like a hovering basin.

[Francis]

It's like sitting on top of a sink.

[Harry]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Roan]

The Japanese ones are nothing like that, though. And I think that they're better than most bidets, especially the ones you just put on. Like, that's gonna be a warm. And it has like A heat seeking asshole missile. That's gonna find.

[Francis]

How did they get it so accurate?

[Harry]

I just don't want my.

[Francis]

How does it hit the dead center of your asshole every time?

[Harry]

That's Japan.

[Francis]

Zero adjusting.

[Harry]

That's Japan.

[Francis]

It's a laser beam.

[Harry]

If they know anything, it's accuracy.

[Francis]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Harry]

I don't think there was a single kamikaze pilot who missed.

[Roan]

Right? They're not wasting a kamikaze pilot.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Damn. Yeah. We got maybe fish week in Japan.

[Harry]

Ooh, Sushi week.

[Francis]

Sushi week. Yeah, I had sushi last night.

[Harry]

Did you?

[Francis]

I did.

[Harry]

Ordered it.

[Francis]

Yeah. California.

[Harry]

It's what, January 13th?

[Francis]

Tuesday.

[Harry]

You're not gonna believe this. Since I got home from New Zealand, which was January 1st, I have cooked every single dinner that I've eaten.

[Francis]

Very nice.

[Roan]

Or.

[Harry]

Or reheated leftovers.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

I haven't ordered in or eaten out once.

[Francis]

That's good.

[Roan]

You haven't eaten out?

[Francis]

No, I'm trying to cut back personally myself. That's why I'm on my yogurt kick. Yogurt and granola.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Phoenix. And a phoenix here and there.

[Roan]

What is your. What'd you hit last night?

[Harry]

Last night I made a full steak. A porterhouse.

[Francis]

Jesus.

[Harry]

Because I had it.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

And I had to cook it. I had bought it on my way upstate. Quattros. You guys remember Quattros?

[Francis]

How could I.

[Roan]

The gunshot.

[Harry]

You can get a Porterhouse and a 22.

[Francis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Harry]

In the same bag.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

22 ounce Porterhouse.

[Harry]

Yeah. And I bought a nice porterhouse there. But then I had other things I had to cook which would have gone bad sooner. So.

[Francis]

What'd you make?

[Harry]

What, last night?

[Francis]

Yeah. On top of the porter, just cut.

[Harry]

Up some broccolini and air fried it After I marinated it in some lemon olive oil.

[Roan]

Why are you saying air fry like it's a resignation? Like you were like. You almost seem like you're embarrassed.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Roan]

You air fry.

[Harry]

I couldn't there was find the word weirdly, which is why I spent so much time.

[Roan]

I thought that you were like. I thought you were acting like air frying. Isn't that legitimate technique?

[Harry]

I mean, it was a bit of a lazy meal last night, but doesn't sound like it. I made a porterhouse. It was funny. I'm also doing dry January. Did I tell you that?

[Francis]

No, but I remember you did it last year.

[Harry]

I made it two weeks last year.

[Francis]

The year before, I think. You did a month.

[Harry]

I made it 28 days.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Last year was rough.

[Harry]

Dude, you're gonna Hate this because I know you want you. You gatekeep sobriety.

[Francis]

I don't at all.

[Harry]

Yeah, you do. You do. I've once said I don't want to drink anymore. You're like, I don't think you should. You're not one of us.

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Harry]

You can't.

[Roan]

You're not built for it. Yeah.

[Harry]

But I will say that this has been the most eye opening, dry January for me.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Really of like. Wow. I don't know if I want to do this more than once a week going forward. What?

[Francis]

Drink.

[Harry]

Drink.

[Francis]

Why would have been your biggest.

[Harry]

Dude, my sleep situation is a disaster.

[Francis]

Without drinking.

[Harry]

I might be the worst sleeper in America right now.

[Francis]

Is that because you're not drinking?

[Harry]

No, it's. It's better without drinking.

[Roan]

But that's a big. That's a big part of the pre novo intake. There's like a long part of the questionnaire about sleeping and what. What causes your lack of sleep and how it's affected. How would you characterize it?

[Harry]

Ron, I get it. You're pushing the pre novo. I gotta tell you something. I have been hemorrhaging cash. Just.

[Roan]

Just skip one pair of pants that you're buying. You can.

[Harry]

We are done. We are done. I. You gotta put your foot down somewhere. And I cut. I cauterized the wound after I spent. Well, last night was when I really said in the middle of the night. I Woke up at 4 as I always do and I. I went on Etsy. Actually I went on spec to And I bought the custom wood side paneling and the knobs in wood for my Marzocco Linea Micra.

[Roan]

How much did that run you?

[Harry]

That was 1400.

[Francis]

Jesus.

[Harry]

But on top of the machine. 4900.

[Roan]

Oh.

[Harry]

And then I bought this 1500 dollar grinder. So I'm up.

[Roan]

That scans for the whole room.

[Harry]

That's 10. Well, here's the thing. Look.

[Francis]

Look. We're all.

[Harry]

You live in Dumbo. Yeah. Will you promise me I'll come by that from. I now have the best coffee cafe in Dumbo. I have a. I have a better ability to make coffee than Devotion. Devotion or Joe's or any or that honey one.

[Roan]

Yeah. Be public.

[Harry]

So on your way.

[Roan]

I'm gonna start. I'm gonna start coming to a lifetime.

[Harry]

You don't. You don't go to the. You don't take the subway.

[Roan]

I'm in a lifetime.

[Harry]

Are you. Did you join?

[Roan]

I'm gonna.

[Harry]

Good.

[Roan]

Now that the basketball court's gone, I don't have to worry about it.

[Harry]

By the way, if you do that, you need to sign up for WellHub, which is on our company perk thing.

[Roan]

What's that?

[Harry]

It's just some thing that we don't even think about. It's one of those random barstool things. Well, Hub. And then your monthly rate is like, cut in half.

[Francis]

Really?

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Does that apply to all gyms?

[Harry]

I don't know. I don't know. Because if so, normal monthly at like, at lifetime is like 400. My rate's 200.

[Roan]

So you're not going to drink anymore because your sleep is so bad right now?

[Harry]

I think that I like alcohol and I like cocktails, but I want it to be more special occasion oriented, which is to say once a week. I know that's not exactly special occasion. Rather than what are you going to.

[Francis]

Do once a week? Like once a week, Are you going to be like, going for it?

[Harry]

No, no, because then I'll be hungover in fashion once a week, though. I can't handle that, dude. I can't handle that. I'm a disaster when I don't sleep. I spend money on Italian espresso machines.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

In those fucking witching hours.

[Roan]

Waking up at 4 to do retail therapy is. Is insane.

[Harry]

I. It's as if I'm psychotic. I. I have a full unconscious moment.

[Francis]

And I wait, are you still on the Kush.

[Harry]

There? You taking a break? Yeah, I have. I went back to that. I took like three and a half weeks off.

[Francis]

Were you drinking in New Zealand?

[Harry]

Oh, yeah.

[Francis]

You were drinking beers. Were you getting drunk?

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Yeah, by myself. That's eye opening.

[Francis]

I mean, what else?

[Harry]

You're like, wow, I'm drunk and I haven't said a word to anyone other than the waiter in two and a half hours. I am just silently drunk because you.

[Roan]

Don'T even know how drunk you are until you either try to stand or speak.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

And you're just like, whoa.

[Harry]

Wow, that really snuck up on me because I haven't said anything out loud. There's been no social sort of companion stimulus alongside the growing drunk.

[Francis]

Oh, that's the best.

[Harry]

Just silently. A tide of coming in, of.

[Francis]

Of booze. Yeah. I miss standing up at a bar.

[Roan]

Just, whoa.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Whoa.

[Francis]

I am hammered.

[Roan]

Yeah, that is nice.

[Harry]

I just also, I don't know, like, I think that I like pairing booze with meals. Like when I go to a restaurant, the cocktail to me is as nice of a moment as the fucking appetizer or the entree. Really?

[Roan]

Well, Polar and Paltrow were saying that they like to get a really early dinner in and that like if they hit a 5:30 dinner that they can be, you know, fully sober and in bed. They're in bed by 8 o'. Clock.

[Harry]

I'm a big 5:30 dinner guy. I really am.

[Roan]

See you Polar and Paltrow.

[Harry]

Yeah, yeah.

[Francis]

5:30 dinner is.

[Harry]

Hey Grok, of the three of us, who. Which two are Polar and Paltrow?

[Francis]

5:30 dinners.

[Roan]

You're definitely Paltrow.

[Harry]

Yeah, I'm a Paltrow.

[Roan]

Like I'm Polar.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

I don't know what I am.

[Roan]

You're by curious, bipolar Paltrow.

[Harry]

You can't handle a 5:30 dinner. I think you shouldn't knock it till you try it.

[Francis]

No, I mean I've had dinner at 5:30, but it's never dinner.

[Harry]

You have to eat again. Well that's because you stay up till 4. Yeah, yeah.

[Francis]

I mean I don't. I can't eat dinner at 5:30.

[Harry]

I like there's too many hours before bed when you're done.

[Roan]

Well, it's kind of breakfast for you.

[Harry]

That is.

[Francis]

No, that's lunch.

[Harry]

That's lunch.

[Francis]

I have dinner around 8.

[Harry]

8:30. That's crazy, dude.

[Francis]

So last night I had dinner around 7:30.

[Harry]

It's not crazy. But if I'm starting to eat at 8:30 I start to get stressed.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Because I just know that that means that my sleep is.

[Roan]

Francis, are you worried that you might be carbohydrate deficient? What was the last carb you had?

[Francis]

Have you been skipping carbs?

[Harry]

No, I mean I eat like brown rice and stuff. Sweet potatoes. I do. I'm pretty good about. Because I exercise so much that I need that.

[Francis]

Yeah. Your fuel.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

What's your split looking like right now for macros?

[Harry]

I don't know what that means.

[Francis]

What are your macro. What's your macro breakdown for nutrients?

[Harry]

You're not protein clarifying. That's. I couldn't. You know how many? A third of each. But my plate is divided into three categories. Vegetable, protein, carb.

[Francis]

How many grams of protein are you taking?

[Harry]

I don't know. I have no idea.

[Francis]

That's why you're not sleeping beyond sureness.

[Roan]

Yeah. Because you don't have studied. Yeah, I never got that either.

[Francis]

I'm going 400 grams a day right now.

[Harry]

Protein kidneys would be exploding, dude.

[Roan]

Now the protein farts of 400 grams of protein.

[Francis]

Yeah. That's five shakes. That's nothing.

[Harry]

That's light work.

[Roan]

The 580 gram. 80 grams of protein shakes, that'd be so insane.

[Francis]

Yeah, I've been trying to eat healthier. I will say, I think the. The time of me of consuming protein high products that are strictly like. Like just protein shakes and protein bars, that is that I think I am done with that part of my life forever. Yeah, I can't eat or drink any of that anymore.

[Roan]

Why?

[Francis]

It's just like, it's so gross, dude. It's bad beard.

[Roan]

Because, well, you're trying to do it for enjoyment. You just got to be fueling the beast.

[Francis]

Yeah, but even when you're fueling the beast, like, it's just. It doesn't feel good when you're taking down like 40 grams of protein in a drink you bought from CVS.

[Roan]

The dude on love is blind. There was a guy once they, like, linked up and went back to their apartments. His smoothie in the morning is he would blend up a chicken breast and put Crystal light lemonade mix inside of it.

[Harry]

Oh, my drinking.

[Francis]

God, that's so gross.

[Harry]

A cooked chicken breast, I'm assuming. Yeah, yeah.

[Roan]

Cooked, maybe. I don't know if it's. I assume it's frozen or just sitting in the fridge.

[Harry]

Dear God, dude, that is fucking vile.

[Roan]

It's like 40 grams of protein. Just like a thick ass fucking chicken.

[Francis]

Why not just eat the chicken? It's the same amount of protein. The crystal light's not adding any protein.

[Harry]

Zac Efron talked about this when he had to put on a whole bunch of muscle for a movie that he got so sick of eating the chicken that he tried to, like, liquefy.

[Roan]

Yeah, don't drink the chicken. Chicken.

[Francis]

I could sort of see that. I remember when I was, like, when I was really going for it, just chicken and broccoli for every meal. I hit a point where I was like, if I have to even look at chicken again, I'm gonna throw up.

[Harry]

Weirdly, I don't have that problem that. That never happens.

[Francis]

That's because you, you know, prepared in different ways.

[Harry]

I don't know.

[Francis]

I don't twist on it.

[Harry]

I don't even think that. I just don't think that I care. I don't need variety in my diet. I'm happy to just.

[Roan]

You have duck fat potatoes.

[Harry]

Well, that's because I'm cooking to learn how to entertain, which is what all of this is. A desperate outreach for friendship and companionship. Why do you think I bought $10,000 worth of high end espresso equipment and then sent messages to all my friends that live nearby, being like, if you guys don't want to spend money on high end coffee anymore. Just come to my apartment.

[Roan]

I'll come. I'll come by.

[Harry]

You gotta come by. You gotta come by. But are you. Because it would make sense if you start taking the subway, which is in the winter. How I get to work. How do you get. Why don't you take the subway?

[Roan]

Biking.

[Harry]

Every day. Yeah. Even when it's 20?

[Roan]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Every day. You never don't bike.

[Roan]

I bike one time, like four or five weeks ago, I took the subway because it was by the Solid Core class I was taking.

[Harry]

Yeah, well, Solid Core.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

That's close to. That's close to me. That. That's sort of on you Rip a shower after or.

[Roan]

Came right in stinking.

[Francis]

That's crazy.

[Roan]

I came right in, stinking.

[Harry]

Shower at my place.

[Roan]

I would. I'd love to come and shower, have a coffee.

[Harry]

I keep my bathroom pristine. You could get a novo scan there.

[Roan]

I'm gonna get the. I'm. I'm gonna join the lifetime.

[Harry]

Excellent.

[Roan]

I'm gonna join the lifetime and try to really break through.

[Francis]

Maybe I'll join it, too.

[Harry]

Nope, we don't want you.

[Roan]

Yeah, you could go to the little lifetime over by the Muji store on fucking Broadway and fucking 11th or whatever.

[Francis]

What's that one when you're. What's that new gym that, like, when you're crossing the bridge? It's right on the side. It's like a climbing gym or some shit.

[Harry]

What bridge?

[Francis]

Like going towards Brooklyn.

[Roan]

Which bridge?

[Francis]

It's a good question. I don't know.

[Harry]

Brooklyn or Manhattan?

[Francis]

I don't know.

[Roan]

The Williamsburg?

[Francis]

I don't know.

[Harry]

It's probably the Manhattan. It's probably the Williamsburg Bridge he's talking about. I don't know. Look, I want to give an example of. So last night, the Steelers were playing the Texans, and right before the game, I texted our group and said, hey, guys, I'm going to bet on the Houston Texans on DraftKings.

[Roan]

Yep.

[Harry]

And Roan was like, love it. Me too. And I'm taking the under. And then Harry went, I'm betting the Steelers and the over. Good luck.

[Roan]

Yeah. Basically shitting on it.

[Francis]

I said, I think my exact words were, I like the Steelers in the over. Which also, keep in mind, I didn't take the over. I was just saying that to.

[Roan]

Right. Shit on us. Yeah, to shit on us.

[Francis]

Make you guys feel bad.

[Harry]

You're just. You're just the guy who won't roll with the team.

[Francis]

Exactly.

[Harry]

And we've seen this before. Where else did this happen? This happened. No, I said.

[Francis]

But I said after the real reason I wanted the.

[Musical Interlude]

The.

[Francis]

I bet the Steelers because I didn't want the Patriots to have to play the Texans. And now we do, which sucks.

[Roan]

Well, why would you bet? I mean, wouldn't it be better to bet on the Texans? So even if you don't get what you want, there's still some good in it for you?

[Harry]

Correct. You win both ways.

[Francis]

I can't do that. If I'm not. Like, I. Then I just wouldn't. There's no way.

[Roan]

I'm like, I wanted the Eagles. I wanted the packers to win because I wanted the Eagles to maybe play the Packers. But I bet on the Bears because I was like, one, I think they'll win, and two, even if they don't, there's some. If the. If the packers lose, there's some good in it. The Bears won, but I would rather.

[Francis]

Just have all my marbles be on. Like, I'll put a small.

[Roan]

You want your eggs. All your eggs in one basket?

[Francis]

Yeah, like, I put a small bet on the. On the. On the Steelers.

[Harry]

You want all your chicken breasts in one blender?

[Francis]

Exactly. Exactly. Yeah.

[Harry]

Right?

[Roan]

Yeah. That's asshole behavior. And you were wrong on both of them. Your contrary nature. I was right for a little bit.

[Francis]

Bit, though. You boys were nervous.

[Roan]

That's not how betting works.

[Francis]

You boys were nervous.

[Harry]

You can't be right for a little 30 to 6.

[Francis]

Well, I mean, things got out of control in the fourth.

[Roan]

Honestly, the under. Almost got.

[Francis]

What was the under? 38.

[Roan]

38 and a half.

[Harry]

Wow. Yeah. They missed the extra point and then touchdowns.

[Roan]

Yeah, Those two defensive, I mean, they're scary.

[Francis]

They're scared.

[Roan]

The Texans defense, Horrifying.

[Harry]

The Texans are a problem.

[Francis]

I mean, I think our offense is definitely better than the Steelers.

[Harry]

That's true. But I mean, DK Metcalf came back and he was a problem in the first half, and then they figured him out. Yeah, that guy who wears the concussion helmet thing.

[Roan]

Petrie. Jalen Petrie.

[Harry]

Unbelievable. And he's only 6ft, 200 pounds and he's decking people.

[Francis]

Yeah. They also got that other dude who's kind of like a dirty player. Sadiq. What's his name?

[Roan]

Rafael Sadiq.

[Francis]

A or not a fucking zero.

[Harry]

Usama Siddiqui.

[Francis]

His name. His number is zero.

[Roan]

Aziza Shair.

[Francis]

I don't know. But the guy that he injured, Trevor Lawrence last year.

[Roan]

Who are you thinking of? Who? We think it says he's outside here.

[Francis]

Oh, really?

[Roan]

All the Muslim names sound the same to you?

[Francis]

Well, when you don't know what the name is? Kind of. Yeah. If you're just throwing out names.

[Roan]

No. Their defense events are the scariest part. Hunter and Will Anderson. That one Will Anderson sack that led to the touchdown. To the touchdown where he just flew off the edge.

[Francis]

I think Will Campbell will be good. Will Campbell's going to protect us.

[Harry]

I don't know, man.

[Roan]

I would love us to Texans, like, if the Texans win a Super Bowl. That's awesome.

[Francis]

We just need May to throw up. 30.

[Roan]

Yeah. I mean, now he's not scoring 30 on the Texans, but that you could win it with, like, 19 points because Stroud, like you said, might be ass.

[Francis]

It's nice, too, because every game that we play, Stefan Diggs revenge game from here on out, I saw a tweet.

[Roan]

Being like, stefon Diggs had three baby.

[Francis]

Mamas in the same hotel or some.

[Roan]

He had three women. Three babies by three different women this year. And one of them was Cardi B. And he just showed up to the playoff game at complete peace like, that man's, like, mental fortitude needs to be studied.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Roan]

Like, there's no stress in his life, and he just has, like, piling up baby mamas in court cases.

[Francis]

He's a real baller.

[Roan]

He's a real baller. He's WR.

[Francis]

He's what A.J. brown thinks he is.

[Roan]

Maybe. But, I mean, A.J. brown's got a ring.

[Francis]

I don't give a rat's ass what A.J.

[Roan]

Brown'S got because you have no rings.

[Francis]

Six.

[Roan]

Yeah, right, bro. You were six when they got their last one.

[Francis]

I was 18 when they got their last one, and I went to the parade.

[Roan]

Yeah. Where's the parade route this year?

[Francis]

We haven't started planning yet. We don't like to get ahead of ourselves. In New England, you guys love to get ahead. Unlike you guys. You guys are like. You guys have to, like, figure out what to do with your champion super bowl merch. You already had it printed. Wow. We've never had people sending shirts to Africa after the. After the wild card round. That's pretty bold. We can't believe it.

[Roan]

Christmas came early.

[Harry]

Eagles have won 10 years in a row.

[Roan]

I have seen a lot of videos in, like, it's a style in Africa now to wear, like, throwback jerseys. Like, and there are a lot of Eagles jerseys and all. Like, the. The videos I see of the African bros dancing.

[Francis]

I mean, dude, I. I like that they give the shirts to the African bros, But also, like, I would have loved, like, a. A failed super bowl shirt. Like, that would be such a funny shirt to wear around.

[Harry]

This sweater was like taking off a basket in Africa.

[Roan]

It was a fishing net.

[Harry]

Yeah. It's the. The shaker part of the caraca.

[Roan]

Part.

[Harry]

Yeah. It's the net they throw into the river and then they pull. I don't know how that works still.

[Francis]

Yeah, it's not ethical.

[Harry]

No, I'm saying I don't understand the physics of it. They throw a net in the river, and then they pull it in, and somehow it wraps the fish inside.

[Roan]

Oh.

[Francis]

Because there's weights on the net, I.

[Harry]

Cannot get my head around it.

[Francis]

Like, the outer ring of the net is weighted.

[Harry]

Okay. So how are you getting that outer edge and pulling it under to create a pocket?

[Francis]

I think the fish naturally are trying to go.

[Harry]

Whatever you're saying right now is not an answer.

[Francis]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Harry]

Do you see what I'm saying, though? It doesn't make any sense.

[Francis]

I think it kind of does make sense. It's if the bottom part of it is scraping the.

[Harry]

Dude, if I threw a fucking bedspread, even a fitted sheet that has the inside coming in the way that I would have to collect whatever was inside was to grab the edge that was far from me in the water.

[Francis]

But I guess if you throw it. Like, what if you threw it downstream and you're pulling it up, then the.

[Harry]

Then the bottom edge would float up and be.

[Francis]

You think?

[Harry]

I mean, I don't know, because there's so many holes.

[Francis]

I don't think it would have to float up.

[Harry]

The only way that would make sense is if there's some string attached to the bottom that he holds on to after he throws it. But they. It seems they throw the whole net.

[Francis]

Yeah, I think they do.

[Harry]

I don't get it.

[Roan]

Francis, at the next fish week, will you host a dinner party for us?

[Harry]

That's a great idea. Yeah. I've gotten pretty serious about cooking.

[Roan]

That's what I mean. I feel like it'd be nice to watch the process, and then we kind of get to just reap the benefits.

[Harry]

Dude, the one. The one real benefit of extreme loneliness is you hone your hobby skills to a level. I'm getting good at everything.

[Francis]

Yeah.

[Harry]

Because I normally, I would devote this attention to another person that I cared about, but I don't care about anyone, so I'm just fucking. I'm. I have all this free time and brain space to learn latte art.

[Francis]

Yeah. What are you gonna master? I mean, obviously the heart first, but what comes second?

[Harry]

Well, then it's the circles or the sort of, like, tulip.

[Francis]

When do you get into, like, the very accurate drawings of people's faces?

[Harry]

I don't know if I'll ever, like.

[Francis]

I want, like, Rowan comes over for his first cup, and his face is on the cold foam.

[Roan]

I think that's either cinnamon stencils or you're. Maybe you're thinking of pancakes.

[Francis]

I'm definitely thinking of the cinnamon stencils.

[Roan]

Yeah, the cinnamon, not pancakes. I've seen people do with pancakes, and it is awesome because you flip the pancake over, and there's the face.

[Harry]

That's cool. That's cool. All right.

[Francis]

Yeah. We can wrap this up.

[Harry]

Yeah.

[Francis]

Thank you, guys for listening. We will see you all next week.

[Musical Interlude]

Looked older till you came around? I was only falling one way? I was only falling one way? J Were drifting before was I.

[Roan]

So?

[Musical Interlude]

So then you listen? Now I come alive? I was only for you?

[Roan]

Way?

[Musical Interlude]

I was only falling one way? I was only falling one way? That is to your eyes? Did you realize? No one could take me alive? I was only falling one way? See just a distant light coming? Oh, just a memory? Take my head and you can see? Sam could take me alone?